#when we want to be.
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it#and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about#why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks'#you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it#anyway#mine#asexuality
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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Man. I wish it was easier to be understood.
#for all of us.#when we want to be.#forget the mortifying ordeal of being known#I'm tired of the depressing commonality of being missunderstood and feeling unseen#there's so many wonderful things to learn about eachother#if we're just willing to talk about it more#a lot of our ways of thinking alone are amazingly unique#some of us think in images#some in words alone#some lack internal dialouge at all#for some of us it is more than one thought at once and constant#some of us are so acutely aware of every sense that the most mundane of tasks would be torture to others if they experienced it through us#others barely register most things unless its done heavy-handedly and with intent#I want to know and be known more#I want to learn#I want to be understood#I don't think I understand why anyone would just cut and run and burn bridges unless they absolutely had to#but I would like to#I hope one day someone will tell me#If I'm lucky maybe someday it'll be you#maybe someday#or not#let's see what tomorrow holds#Strange sense of nostalgia and sadness and happiness and hope and loss tonight#part of me is think of my#old friend#but it doesn't hurt tonight#no#not tonight#the yearning is hopeful of unlikely things
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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
#nonbinary love#nblnb yearning#nb4nb#nblnb#wholesomeposting#yearning hours#ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense#so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc#but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership#i think about this mostly in terms of ecology#and relation to land#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers#like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs#but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while#and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well#when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else#its understood i just mean the city where i live#so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again#ok#done now
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Of the 19 hijackers who carried out the Sept 11 attacks:
15 were from Saudi Arabia (a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)
2 were from the United Arab Emirates (also a powerful/oil-rich country the U.S. works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with)
1 was from Egypt, 1 from Lebanon.
None of the hijackers were from Iraq.
None of the Sept 11 hijackers were Iraqi.
None of the 9/11 hijackers were from Iraq.
#9/11#serious post#not a shitpost#this should be one of the first things kids learn when they learn about the 9/11 attacks#politics#this is just...it's such an essential and brazen fact and i rarely see basic outrage over it#i want outrage. i want fury. i want disgust over the way fundamental facts are disguised and discarded and downplayed#because there are things we should KNOW. basic fact we should ALL KNOW. and they are tucked away in the footnotes.#and no this is NOT to put the blame on other middle eastern countries#we know this was carried out by a specific terrorist organization not a national government#but King George the Second decided (and was encouraged by his cabinet!) to invade a nation!#a nation that was not at all related or responsible!!!#a dictatorship to be sure--but a dictatorship that King George the First had been happy to support#so what changed? why did we go in guns blazing to DEMOLISH a country *we had NO PLANS OF REPAIRING*???#well. because they wanted a villain didn't they. a nice clean war. clarity of purpose. us the heroes against them the villains#and when you're in that mindframe--truth is irrelevant. you can pick your villain (your victim) by rolling a roulette wheel#truth is irrelevant#worse: to the people in charge#truth is a HINDRANCE#'Alternative facts' existed long before it became a catchphrase#facts don't matter. truth doesn't matter. the impulses of a handful of volatile & rich & power-high people--that's History. congratulations
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BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...
#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually#and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash#and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change#also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb#from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs#and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash#or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into#and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is#ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)!#rimi talks
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.
#also because tumblr has a very specific way that it interacts with the media it loves#like make no mistake; when we made Goncharov we were a little bit making fun of ourselves#and the way we project high emotion and significance onto even the smallest details#(also the way we want everything to be gay)#tiktok isn’t doing that. they think the joke is the fake movie itself. but the fake movie isn't really the point.#the point is the fake FANDOM#goncharov
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…we’ll show ‘em what we all mean!
#i just wanted to use a line from 'disenchanted'! bc they're the brothers way#mcr#mcr art#mcr fanart#my chemical romance#gerard way#mikey way#my art#artists on tumblr#stayed up wayyyyy too late cranking this out. but inspiration struck me and i've had art block for most of 2024! so!!#it looks like mikey has 3 fingers on that one hand but i promise the 4th finger is there lol the ref pic has it in shadow tho#when we were young 2024#wwwyf 2024
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98 lovemail doodles >_<
#trigun#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#nicholas d wolfwood#i was able to convince my friend to start 98 after we got back from AX HAHA and so i wanted to doodle the gang again ^_^#it's so funny how i always draw trimax ww super grumpy but then my 98ww is always such a goofy goober BAHAHA#trimax ww is still pookie to me tho dont get it twisted!!! ^_^#but yeah it's fun to decide how i want to differentiate between the different versions of ww#also i love 98 meryl so much she is so let me speak to the manager core (heart eyes)#and the color palette for vash i referenced from the lost july episode bc I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH THE COLORS IN THE PLANT STATION SCENES#idk what it is abt it but it tickles my brain. so pretty T__T#man im fr that type of artist who is posting different versions of the same drawings on different platforms LOL#but yall on tumblr and ig get it better imo hehe. when i post on twitter im like fucket whatever#i usually dont post on tumblr/ig until a day or two later so by then i make a couple of changes/finish stuff/color stuff#so here u go enjoy the colored versions of these doodles HAHA
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matching eye horror for u and ur back-from-the-dead bestie <333
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 267#NOBARA NATIONNNNNNNN#oh my god i MISSED HER she looks so good w how much gege's style has changed...#her hAIR her EYE#HUGE win fr women everywhere#first year trio pull through pull through pull through i BEG#i will b so happy. if my main 3 make it through alive#but i dare not hope i will simply let gege cook and in th meantime i will GRACIOUSLY eat my meal#we r so well fed i cannot believe shes back#N TH PANEL OF YUUJI WHEN HE REALIZES#THE RELIEF IN HIS EYES THE TEARS THE DISBELIEVING SMILE#I WANT TO HOLD HIM#NOBARA KUGISAKI THE WAY U BRIGHTEN THIS SERIES#LAST WEEK ITFS THIS WEEK NOBARA NEXT WEEK MEGUMI BACK FR I SEE THE VISION
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should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔
also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#kicking around some ideas for scully's UM poster so i'll talk about all that when we get to it#in the meantime i just have to show this off because...seriously look at it#is the halloween pickup count cumulative?! because i only did two ten-pulls for jamil...#i've only done three ten-pulls total in this event and yet somehow ended up with leona and two consecutive jamils#now it would be extremely funny if i didn't get sebek when he's the one i want the most...but let me hope#(i choose to believe this is an apology from the universe for my lack of both fairy gala ortho and masquerade malleus)#(thank you universe)#anyway i realize there is some irony in bragging about my jamil pulls and yet drawing vil instead#but...i just really wanted to draw nightmare vil okay#i thought i had posted art of good ol' pumpkin-stroker jamil already but i think i might actually have just dreamt that#brb gotta get onto fixing this problem
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Always Favors You
Another Sibling Danny and Jason idea!!
"Are you Jason Peter Todd?!" demanded a deep and commanding tone from the strange glowing being in front of them.
All the Bats stiffened and tensed, no doubt gearing up for a fight against the being that somehow knew Red Hood's full name.
Jason, Red Hood, decided to put on a brave front despite no doubt cursing in his head and wondering how the heck did this thing know his full freaking name.
"Whose asking." he snarled out, his hands twitching for his gun when the huge glowing knight with purple flames coming out of his helmet and cape, who was riding on a nightmare looking horse while they all had been in the cave going over tonight's patrol.
The Knight didn't seemed bothered by his response nor did he even seem to care or flinch when Batman made his own demand on 'Why was he there and who was he' or when Damian unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards him. Instead the strange glowing Knight reached to it side and pulled out... A glowing scroll? Huh. (Also he completely unnerved everyone in the room when the Knight didn't even react when Batman had tossed a Baterang when he reached for his side)
The Knight opened the scroll and spoke clearly with purpose.
"Jason Peter Todd,
You are hereby invited as a special guest of honor to the crowning of our future King of the Infinite Realms.
Daniel Phantom, once Daniel Jackson Fenton, and once Daniel Austen Todd.
Prince of the Infinite Realms, the Keeper of Balance, The Peacekeeping Halfa, the Defeater of the Tyrant King Pariah Dark, The Great One, Youngest of the Ancients, Ancient of Space, The Bridge between Life and Death.
You, the half-brother of our King, have been given the highest of honors for your past actions and will be given housing and food in the Realms and Phantom's Keep, for the week long event. Personal servants and attendants will be at your disposal and a seamstress will be on hand to tailor make your attire for the Coronation.
Signed: Clockwork. Ancient of Time. Watcher of the Infinite Timeline. Kronos. Mentor and Adviser.
PS: I shall have Fright Knight ("Me" the Knight bluntly said for a second) leave this scroll along with a personal one for you from Daniel to read over and once you make up your mind sign the bottom of the scroll.
I do hope in time you will pick the right choice Jason Todd, we of the Infinite Realms would like to reward you for your actions. After all, if you hadn't gotten young Daniel away from your father that night all those years ago, we would never had gained our Prince nor be free from our once Tyrant King.
Ah, one more thing.
The Infinite Realms will always favor you Jason."
Jason felt like he couldn't breath as Fright Knight? Rolled up the scroll, pulled a letter from his side, and held out the two items for him to take.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Danny and Jason are half brothers#Fright Knight#Clockwork mention#Jason saved baby Danny when Willis came home drunk one night and their mom was out of her mind at the moment#Danny had been crying for food and Willis was getting annoyed#Jason managed to run off with baby Danny to a few towns over and put him in a baby box before getting caught a few other towns over by cops#and was shipped back to Gotham#kept his mouth shut about where he put his brother and took any punishment that came afterwords#It set up the timeline where Danny is going to become the Infinite Realms new King#Hence why the kinda sentient Realms 'rewarded' Jason later on when he died aka bringing him back to life#I love the idea of a kinda sentient Realms tbh#it loves Danny because he's been helping rebuild and mend the Realms#Danny is its fav King thus favors those related to him#well everyone but Willis#he's in Walkers prison btw#I want Jason to go tbh and see how every ghost is getting everything ready for the coronation#its chaotic yet organized somehow#I want more Danny's coronation stories#Like I love already King or just finding out Prince Danny but we need more coronation ones tbh
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Michael learns about FNAF Movie Sparky...
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#michael afton#sparky fnaf#mike schmidt#fnaf#fnaf movie#sister location#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#SPARKY THE DOG MENTIONED 🔥🔥#the way I felt when I first watched the fnaf movie and saw sparky just there#craziest thing to have become canon#I’ve been wanting to draw sparky myself for awhile so here’s the boy#Michael would be so confused seeing sparky#I like to think sparky was just a myth for him too#so like just seeing that dog animatronic is like if we found out like Bigfoot is real#and is actually kinda chill BAHAH#Michael doesn’t spooked by many things but this got to him a lil
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not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)
#who needs romance when i can watch two narrative foils painfully tolerate each other's existence#bonus points if they are forced to Work Together To Solve A Problem#and they end up working surprisingly well together!#they make a surprisingly effective team!#they even confide some backstory with each other & bond a bit & understand each other better#and when it's all over they shake hands & amicably agree that they still cannot fucking stand each other#'this was an interesting sidequest & I'm glad we got to experience it.#but all things considered i genuinely never want to see your face again'#Enemies to Chained-Up-In-An-Abandoned-Bathroom-Together#to Enemies#two stray cats forced to share a cat carrier for a trip to the vet
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