#when they had several meltdowns
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
iron-bullogna · 10 months ago
Text
engaging with fandom on fb groups reminds me exactly why I came back to tumblr
5 notes · View notes
odo-apologist · 4 months ago
Text
Me enjoying a rewatch of a Red Dwarf episode, having a good time: 🙂
My traitorous brain: Hey, this scene takes place away from Red Dwarf and Starbug, Lister probably doesn't remember it after M-Corp
Me: 😧
47 notes · View notes
kyofsonder · 2 months ago
Text
Life, aiming a loaded crossbow at me: I'm sorry. You were involved in the decisions that led to this, but you can't know whether they're worth it until everything is done. This is the first step. Endure it as best you can.
Me, shot with the crossbow bolt: [looks down and sees a label tied to the bolt that reads "metaphor for stressful situation"] Ow. Thanks for the warning, I guess? At least it's the only thing I'm getting shot with for a good while.
Life, reloading several bolts into the crossbow at once: Have you ever heard of speed shooting?
Me: I want it to be known that I resent this.
Life: Noted. [shoots me multiple times in quick succession]
Me, on the floor and stuck full of crossbow bolts all over my body: Recovering from this is gonna suck.
#sonder speaks#personal post#I'm trying to joke about my stress#but I did in fact get so stressed that it triggered a seizure#and then my immune system was so compromised from the stress and seizure that I'm now sick#and those are just the incidental health side effects of the stress itself#the situations have been numerous and covered a wide range of severity#the first crossbow bolt was my family deciding to move states and realizing the timeline will be very very short#the next was one of my budgies dying#then my dad having a week+ long dramatic panic attack meltdown about the move#he's past the worst of the meltdown itself but the deep deep fear is still an issue and a stressor#then it was my mom and sister panicking over making things work#then it was my seizure and being in the ER right up until it was time to catch a flight#then stress over helping to find the rught house while knowing none of them will satisfy the fear of my dad#but most of them will fit the criteria for which we originally chose to move#and then the dog we inherited from my grandma -- who's never bonded with anyone but me and never that deeply with me#who was in the shelter for a day and then retrieved and who I defended when other family members wanted her returned --#she growled at my 6 month old niece and nobody is bonded enough with her to train her to be gentle with a baby or toddler#she's a risk to my niece so she had to go back to the shelter and I'm a lot sadder and more stressed about it than I expected#I even cried and I don't cry over anything not even the deaths of grandparents or pets#and it's looking like I might have diabetes too but I can't get my labs done to find out for sure until I'm not sick#and the crossbow just keeps being fired at me#I know others are more stresed over more and bigger things#but I am so sick of these crossbow bolts#I want to be done with these#I want my stress levels down
2 notes · View notes
pksp-yellow · 6 months ago
Text
it'd be great if life would stop giving me stressors every time i have to go into work soon
2 notes · View notes
ink-asunder · 1 year ago
Text
Progressives from big cities talk big shit about how accepting they are, but I feel like if you come to them with any identifier that isn't covered in corporate sensitivity training, they have no idea what to fucking do.
Like. I experience psychosis. I tried being OPEN with my friend about it and giving them resources (articles and screenshots of tumblr posts that i felt summed up my experience) for when I had episodes. But they act like they're on fucking eggshells around me. They sidestep and look PETRIFIED when they accidentally say the word "crazy" (when I personally could not give less of a shit. As long as you're not CALLING someone crazy, then it won't warp your perception of what clinical insanity even is, so I probably won't even notice you saying it). But then they freak out and go "okay we're leaving!" when a VISIBLY mentally ill man starts screaming at a trashcan in the parking lot.
Less important, but still an example of the same thing: I'm a horse alterhuman. I identify as a horse on some level (and that level varies based on my mental state, tbh). I tried coming to this friend with THAT and the best they could do was blink and go "oh. Okay." And then they never talked about it since. Even when I bring it up or try making jokes about it, they just COMPLETELY don't react or look uncomfortable.
If I came out as a lesbian, they'd be all "oh I love and support you and accept you, and whatever you identify as is valid," but the second I say "Hey, I have this condition that makes me sometimes think that people are trying to kill me, so if I act anxious or something, you know what's up," it's all "oh. Okay. I mean, you know what's best for you. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself."
Like bitch!! My mental illness is not gonna bite you!! You're perfectly sensitive and normal about queer people, about people of color, about people with palatable mainstream mental health issues. But the second I bring something to the table that hasn't already been dropped in their lap in a perfect-PC-package, they balk like a deer in the headlights.
12 notes · View notes
cervinelich · 1 year ago
Text
"Everyone always leaves/abandons/rejects me =C" is such a huge red flag for me. Saw someone saying this on social media the other day and knee-jerk instinct was "blockblockblock"
#like I understand it can feel like you are constantly being abandoned or rejected especially if you have rejection sensitivity#but in my personal experience this often comes from assuming the worst of the people around you due to anxiety#and often translates into not communicating your needs and wants to friends and assuming they should behave a certain way intuitively#and this has been used MANY times to accuse me of being a shitty person for not... knowing exactly how someone wants to be treated#and then being accused fucking constantly of not caring enough because I didn't know??? what someone wanted???#I also was kept on the hook with SEVERAL different people saying “everyone always abandons me =C”#to put me in a position of never settings boundaries with them bc then they would have an extreme fear reaction I was “leaving them”#and I'm talking about like if I tried to tell one of them to please not call me at 1AM every night when I had work the next day#I tried to ask one of my friends if we could spend *slightly* less time together bc we were attached at the hip and he had a MELTDOWN#asked one ex if I could go hang out with friends without her and she called me sobbing in the middle of the hangout to get me to come home#idk maybe this is just a particular trigger for me afjvbsdklfj LMAO but if someone says “everyone abandons me”#I am immediately suspicious that they are expecting too much of their friendships and not communicating and allowing boundaries#LONG RANT SORRY
3 notes · View notes
sherlock-is-ace · 1 year ago
Text
.
#i had such a horrible melt down today... god i just need this week to be over!#i burst several blood vessels around my eyes temple and nose from crying too hard and for trying to do it in silence#and i also figured out that my big smart plan of hitting myself in the head as to not leave marks nor break things doesn't work#because i now have a fucking BRUISE ON MT FOREHEAD#goddamnit#i can hide it with hair but i really need to find a different way to cope...#i used to throw shit around but years of being screamed at for breaking toys or whatever i had in my hand at the moment has forced me to#turn the destruction upon myself#cause at least i'm not breaking shit other people paid for#but damn my head still hurts and now i have to hide the stupid red spots in my hairline#if my mom finds out she will most likely kill me ahnfjsng (not really she will just scream at me and call me stupid for hurting myself#which in turn will make me hurt myself more probably...)#it's a hard thing to admit i self harm. and i never really thought of it like that but it's getting worse so i need to stop#it started with scratching myself when i was too anxious and it turned into full blown out meltdowns...#i had to fight the urge to hit my head on the wall which is scary#like it took all of my willpower and the realization that people would hear me and maybe i would draw blood which would be harder to hide#that's what made me not do it... not the fact that self harming is bad and doesn't help...#like that's a scary thought to have...#i can think about it rationally NOW but in the middle of the mess? nope hitting is the only solution#i'm exhausted and so fucking embarrassed about it#i hate living with my messed up brain#i have to leave the house tomorrow... and because i mask still the only thing vissible will be my fucked up eyes with red dots around them..#that's gonna be fucking embarrassing as hell?!#not worse than when i gabe myself a black eye tho#that wasn't self harm that was just me fainting when sick and falling face first to the floor lol#anyways... i'm off to bed i just needed to vent ahfnsjf i'm fine now#and i'm gonna do my best to find better coping mechanisms i promise#angel talks#personal#tw self harm
6 notes · View notes
citrus-sours · 2 years ago
Text
Totally thought I was gonna die at work tonight but woo-hoo I survived and now get a fucking break from that place
2 notes · View notes
mxamalgam · 4 months ago
Text
Children relate to being forced into things that have deep negative consequences by people they trust and being told that it'll actually be incredible and wonderful in the end.
as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.
38K notes · View notes
rayvern-sheep · 1 day ago
Text
God this sucks man. Watching your mental stability just slip away. I get glimpses of what I used to have then its gone.
And the worst part is that I can’t communicate it. And if I could idk if I would absorb any advice given.
#shut up ray#sometimes i go ‘maybe its just cos its winter and winter is dark and cold and stressful’#then i remember the repeated breakdowns i had in the spring and summer#then i think ‘maybe i should start taking meds again’ then i remember AGAIN those exact breakdowns i was having while MEDICATED#and go ‘ah..’#i saw my friend on monday#and she gave me this long pep talk abt shit#i didnt have the heart to tell her she was making shit up abt me just so she could tell me its not a problem#im not insecure i have severe mental problems#i have a chronic illness that is tied to those problems in a big tangled up fucking web#and i constantly feel like im doing a balancing act w/ 50 fucking spinning plates#and sometimes i will just have these undignified meltdowns#and when im not doing that im thinking horrible things abt ppl who care abt me#im not your helpless little introvert friend#im fucking broken and getting worse w/ each pssing year#i dont date because im full of hatred not because im insecure abt my looks or some shit#and as w/ every Christmas im gonna fucking sulk in my room cos i just cant handle this shit#when did this time of yr become such a horror show#i used to feel joy abt things#like joy that lasted longer than a few seconds#now its just all anger and bitterness and hatred and just this#giant black hole where my heart used to be#im not gonna make it to middle age… im gonna go out the same way my step-dad did#full of so much fucking hatred my heart explodes and im just alone because I pushed everyone away
1 note · View note
ellecdc · 2 months ago
Note
Hey I have a request:
Could you do poly marauders but Sirius and reader prank James and Remus by saying she is pregnant and then she finds out she is actually pregnant and they don't believe her straight away.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
Thank you ❤️
hi sweets! so I ended up changing this a litttllllee bit simply because I wasn't comfortable writing about joking re: pregnancy [just cuz it's a sensitive topic for many]. but I hope I did the rest of the request justice! <3
poly!marauders x fem!reader who is not pranking them right now [1.7k words]
CW: pregnancy tests, reader is pregnant, everyone is surprised but generally happy about the pregnancy
You supposed you shouldn’t be entirely surprised that this is how the boys would react; it probably did seem suspicious that this would come up now. 
Now being that the four of you were in the middle of a sort of prank war. 
No, not sort of, it was a full out prank war, no holds barred. 
It had started when James and Remus convinced you and Sirius that the two of you had locked you all out of your flat, forcing Sirius (with James’ help) to have to shove you up the fire escape and crawl through the window, hauling Sirius up behind you only to find Remus sitting casually in his chair and James bursting through the front door laughing. 
“That doesn’t even make sense, you guys.” Sirius grumbled as he used the bottom of his shirt to wipe sweat from his eyes and you swept cobwebs out of your hair. “James had to work just as hard as we did to get in.” 
“No,” James countered, “I got to touch Y/N’s bum as we hoisted her up, and then got to watch your arms flex as you climbed up after her.” 
Then, as retribution, you and Sirius took their phones and changed the name of every single one of their contacts to Dennis Quaid. 
In retaliation, Remus and James taped fake spiders behind the lampshades, and one evening you’d been walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn when Remus asked Sirius to turn the lamp on, resulting in an ear splitting screech from Sirius and a sea of popcorn littering the floor. 
Cling wrap was added to the tops of shampoo bottles before the tops were recapped, causing more than a few shower meltdowns. The sugar for tea was replaced with salt. Blow up dolls were hidden behind doors. Furniture was moved several inches to the left. Picture frames throughout your home were replaced with images of Steve Buscemi. 
It was fun, it was harmless, it was good natured. Did it result in Sirius shouting profanities after coming face to face with an inflatable clown? Sure. Did Remus spit his tea out and curse and mutter under his breath in Welsh when he had to go and make himself another cup? Yeah. Did James demand his mother prove to him that she wasn’t really Dennis Quaid by facetiming him? Absolutely, and the mischievous glint in Euphemia’s eyes was a prize in and of itself. 
So while you didn’t necessarily blame them for being suspicious of you, you were a little insulted that they thought you would take it this far.
You’d been feeling extremely lethargic lately, and when that lethargy was followed by full body aches, you had chalked it up to an oncoming period. Except that period never came.
It never came.
But the two pink lines did.
“Oh my god…” You whispered, plastic in one hand as you covered your mouth in a silent gasp with the other. “Oh my god.” You repeated, slightly louder as you all but stumbled out of the ensuite into your bedroom.
“I know it was you, Sirius!” You heard Remus shout from down the hall.
“I swear to God, I didn’t touch the remote.” Sirius laughed. 
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.” James' voice retorted, rising in volume as he made his way down the hall towards your shared room. “Angel, do you know where Sirius hid the remote?” 
You were frozen in the middle of the room with your hand still covering your mouth as you stared down at the positive pregnancy test in your hand. 
“Angel?” James asked quietly as he moved towards you. “Are you alright?”
A breath left your lips but you found that you couldn’t bring yourself to form an intelligent response.
Your view of the test quickly included James’ socked feet in front of yours and a gentle hand on your wrist so he could see what you were holding. “Wha-” he began, though fell silent when the fact that you were holding a pregnancy test was undeniable. 
“Oh fuck, that’s a good one.” He let out with a breath, laughing as he backed away from you. “Fuckin’ hell, you almost had me there for a moment.”
“Nice try, Sirius!” He called as he exited your room, leaving you standing there with your mouth open and your heart in your stomach. 
“Nice try, what?” You heard Sirius call back as you mindlessly followed James out of the room and towards the living room; limbs working on autopilot as your brain was reduced to a steady chant of oh my god oh my god ohmygod ohmygodohmygodohmy- 
“What? Was the whole remote thing just a bit?” James chuckled as he reclaimed his spot on the love seat and Sirius’ brows furrowed where they were pointed down at the phone in his hand.
“A bit for what? And for the last time, I didn’t hide the remote.”
“So we still don’t know where the sodding remote is?” Remus grumbled as he stood from his chair and started moving all of the cushions again. 
“Come on, spill; the jig is up.” James continued. “It didn’t work.”
“James.” You tried, but your throat was so tight that his name only came out as a silent whimper. 
“What didn’t work?” Sirius asked again, finally looking up at James from his phone.
“The pregnancy test.” James replied, causing Remus to pause in his cushion wrangling to look at him in bemusement.
“Wh- what? What pregnancy test? What is he talking about?” Sirius rapid fired as he turned his gaze to you, standing from his seat but not making any moves to approach you. 
Another helpless sound fell from your lips as you shrugged at Sirius helplessly; one hand still holding the test, the other hand still covering your mouth. 
“Wait, what is going on?” Remus asked as he returned to his full height, James shaking his head in admonishment as he moved to stand beside him. 
“These two think they’re so clever, pranking us with a pregnancy test.”
Remus let out a snort, but James’ explanation seemed to restart Sirius’ brain as he rushed over to you in two large strides before pulling your hand closer to him so he could read the test.
“Pregn- babe?” He barely managed to spit out, moving his gaze from the test to your face when you didn’t answer. 
You shrugged helplessly at him again which seemed to tell him all he needed to know as he loosened his grip on your wrist, though he didn’t let go, before tracing soothing circles over your pulse point with his thumb. 
“Did you splurge on acting lessons, Sirius? You look like you’re about to pass out.” Remus chuckled, though his face fell dramatically when you finally looked over at him with tears pooling in your eyes. 
“Whoa, whoa whoa, hey, dovey. What’s going on?” He started as he moved across the room, James not far behind him.
“I-” You tried, but the next sound that left your lips was a sob.
“Oh, oh. Oh my god….oh my god, it’s not a prank at all, is it?” James whispered mostly to himself, though you shook your head at him anyways causing a few tears to finally fall from your lash line. 
“Oh my god, angel, I’m so sorry, I- I can’t believe I laughed at you. Fuck, oh my god, I-”
The next thing you knew, the test was being plucked from your hand rather gently before it was passed to James to look at again, and Remus pulled both of your hands away from your body and wrapped them around himself. 
“Sirius.” James whispered and when you turned to look, Sirius was leaning against James to get a better look at the test cradled in his hands. “Sirius, Sirius…”
Sirius let out an emotional laugh as he shoved his face into James’ shoulder, tears of his own falling down his cheeks as James wrapped one of his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him closer. 
“Dovey.” Remus hissed as he took your face in his hands. “Is…is this real? Is- are you really pregnant?” 
You nodded as you swallowed before finally finding your voice. “I…I think so. It looks like it.”
James let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob as he rubbed Sirius’ back roughly. 
Remus laughed wetly and pressed more than a few kisses to your face.
“Oh my god.” Sirius laughed as he wiped tears away from his face. “I��m sorry they didn’t believe you, babe. That- oh my god.” He said as he pulled you from Remus’ grasp and into his. “You’re fucking phenomenal.” 
“I haven’t even done anything yet.” You laughed into his shoulder as you watched Remus and James share a kiss behind him. 
“Are you kidding? Fuck, oh my god… I can’t believe this.” He whispered as he pulled away from you, only far enough that he could place his hands on your waist and look at your not at all rounded belly. 
“We almost missed hearing the best news of our lives over a remote.” James laughed from where he was tucked into Remus’ side.
“It’s on top of the refrigerator.” You sniffled. 
“You bastards.” Remus groaned before he and James yanked you and Sirius over to join their hug. 
“Wait.” James paused as he lifted his head to level you and Sirius with a look. “The remote was the prank, right? Not this?”
“Not this, Jamie.” You agreed quickly. “Not this.” 
He let out a relieved sigh and looked close to tears again. “You just wait until we get you back.” 
“No, you can’t prank me anymore; I’m pregnant and sensitive.” You whined, causing Sirius to bark a laugh, James to huff, and Remus to snort.
“Alright…” Remus offered as he narrowed his eyes at you playfully. “You’ve won this round.” 
“I think we might have to call it a tie, Moons.” James whispered as you felt a loving hand settle on your stomach.
2K notes · View notes
shadow4-1 · 9 months ago
Text
I'm just imagining having spent the night with a lover who isn't in the 141, only to wake up the next morning and there's in intervention waiting for you in the rec room.
Like, at first you're just confused. But when Price opens his mouth to ask you about how you slept...you have a bit of a meltdown. Why does it matter? Why is everyone staring at you? What's going on?
Soap grabs the collar of your t-shirt and pulls it down so everyone can get a look at the dark hickies dotting your neck. You slap his hand away, tears in your eyes.
"So all of you can do whatever you want? Sneak bitches on base and fuck around at all the bars we pass through! But I'm not allowed to do anything with someone I actually like?!"
It hurts. It feels like you're being stripped bare in front of them.
Price sighs, his gaze softens. It's obvious he doesn't want to have this conversation but something you've done has given him no choice. Soap just stands a few feet away, chest puffed out, eyeing you with a strange annoyance. You know if you try to leave he'll stop you.
"You are...not in the same position as us." Price tries and winces. He's obviously not putting his thoughts into soft enough words, but he continues. "You are...it is our responsibility to keep you safe."
"Safe? You're trying to keep me safe?" Your voice is raised higher than you've ever raised it at Price. "Safe by what? Fighting off all the guys at the bars? Safe by spreading lies about me to all of the PMCs and the other Task Forces?"
Price just closed his eyes and set his jaw. He had to know about the subterfuge you'd been experiencing for well over a couple years now. Everyone in the room was guilty as charged.
"You're and asset. And you're also a liability." Ghost speaks up, eyes narrowed, stance way too relaxed against the metal folding chair he sits in. "Do you remember what happened to the 7th Division?"
Saliva pools in your mouth, a sudden queasiness filling your stomach. Yeah, of course you remembered. Their beloved medic had been kidnapped by a group of angry drug lords using a mercenary group as their muscle. The 7th Division had gone in guns blazing to get their member back and well...they'd been wiped out. And their star medic they'd sacrificed everything for? She'd been brainwashed and inducted into the very agency that stole her away.
KORTAC
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" You mutter. "Please tell me you're not."
"We can't have you fraternizing with anyone." Price states smoothly. "As our medic, you have a responsibility to us, your team. We can't have you getting caught up in something bigger."
"I understand what you're saying, but can't you see how ridiculous this is?" You try to reason. "I'm human, I have- god this is embarrassing. I h-have wants and...needs, just like you guys."
The silence is loud. You can't meet anyone's gaze. Price steps closer to you, swallowing hard. His next few words are spoken softly, conspiratorially.
"All of your needs will be taken care of. We will never let you suffer by yourself."
Price cocks his head to the men before you both. All of them straighten beneath his gaze. Price places a hand on the small of your back.
"Whatever it takes." He commands them. "I better not hear or see anything. Do I make myself clear?"
A trio of "yessirs" bounce off the white walls. Price just smiles and nods. He pats your back.
"There we go. You'll be fine." He sighs. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to your guest."
Your eyes widen, your throat drops into your stomach.
"Wait!"
"We've got ye, Bonnie. You n' all yer needs."
Six hands are on you from several different angles. Their massive frames block out the fluorescent lights.
"Ah, where are you goin'?" Gaz chuckles, his arm wraps around your belly.
You try to run after Price but the rec room door is slammed shut and locked. You try to push the closest man away, but he just grins down at you.
3K notes · View notes
platinum-horizons · 9 months ago
Text
4
edit: 4 was NOT supposed to be there i dont know how it happened
Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
#yeah. I have pretty severe adhd and along with impacting my focus and things#i have really bad memeory problems because of it. medication doesn't even help that. Like you could tell me something thats really fucking#important or spill out feelings to be and id probably forget it all in the span of a few hours to a day.#i forget to eat. I forget to brush my teeth. i forget to shower. i forget to drink water. i forget to clean things.#i also want to add that. I can have major meltdowns because of my adhd. And I bet other people have that happen too#I dont know about other people but#i would NOT want to be avoided or treated badly in general because of a meltdown. There's at least a few other people who can agree with th#I know im not the only one. So please#dont ridicule people with adhd for not keeping their house clean or forgetting something you said#and don't be a bitch because someone had a meltdown they couldn't control#this isnt me saying “ohhh when someone does ____ in a meltdown they still shouldnt have consequences”“! no.#i fully believes in taking responsibility for your actions#but you guys also need to remember that we arent in the right mind AT ALL during that. i know I can be extremely unpredictable and sometime#violent towards myself or others during the breakdowns#yes I am aware that is not ok.#i will take consequences for my actions#but if you're just going to tell me to stop doing shit for attention or to “stop crying its already happened”#stay the fuck away from me.#(btw i had a worker at a mental hospital do that to me. He also got angry at me and snatched my clothes away from me when i was trying to#get them in the dryer because i was acting confused and was taking too long#what was actually happening was that i was stuck trying to process all the instructions he gave in like less than a minute.#i then had a meltdown after he snatched the clothes away from me. I didnt get violent but i was screaming. not at anyone#just screaming because of how distressed i felt in the moment over that. I felt like i wasnt understood#it felt like nobody even gives me a chance before i get stopped for “being too slow”.#because yes#i can take a while to process things sometimes.#but that doesnt give anyone the right to be an asshole to me in(at least I'd thnk so)#so along with not ridiculing someone for not having their help clean#not brushing their teeth or not drinking enough water#dont be an asshole because someone with adhd had a meltdown and also be patient with them.
15K notes · View notes
Text
out here having daily meltdowns because my dog whom I love with my whole heart is still young and has yet to grow out of “playing with people using my teeth”
1 note · View note
twinterrors29 · 6 months ago
Text
Alpha-17 is returned to the past, at a point a few years before his creation, from soon after Order 66 and all that ensued
his first step, naturally, was to kill Jango Fett
from there, it was only logical for him to step into the man's life as a bounty hunter (he's got to eat somehow, and it's not like he doesn't more than live up to the Prime's reputation)
but then, despite refusing the bounty on Vosa, is still cornered by a very recognizable Sith and ominously offered the Kamino job
he cannot let himself hesitate to accept it
his first task is to recruit a group of 'trainers', ones he believes are loyal to him (or can be made so)(and, if not, that he can easily dispose of) and brings them all to Kamino, and bides his time
he waits until the first batches of his siblings are born, playing along about just long enough so that his supporters can watch and learn how to continue their operation without requiring the Kaminoan's involvement
and then he strikes, removing them from the picture, and immediately modifies the cloning contract on record:
the clones he's raising are all for the Jedi, and in the name of the one Jedi he actually trusts them to
so when Kenobi is lured to Kamino by the Sith's machinations several years later, it's only Alpha-17 waiting for him in the rain on that landing platform
and all he says in greeting is, "Kenobi, good, you finally made it. Here's the boys, we're killing the Sith, are you coming or do you need any more time to prepare"
and proceeds to not wait for the man's answer as he drags him along through the final preparations for their mass departure for Coruscant, dodging meaningfully addressing any of his questions by fobbing him off onto his curious and delighted younger siblings who only have vague ideas of Alpha-17's plans
when they arrive, he plays along with the Chancellor just long enough to get close so he can cut the head off that snake directly, along with several other key Imperial Senators and ambitious would-have-been military personnel
he immediately declares Kenobi the Emperor to a crowd of aghast politicians (and an equally shocked Kenobi)
Anakin, hearing this news, swiftly returns from the solo mission that the late Chancellor had dispatched him on, furious that his Master has taken over the political system without inviting him to help 💔
he's equally swiftly mollified when, upon his arrival, Alpha-17 intercepts his impending meltdown by immediately turning him back around to be dispatched on missions important to securing their new Empire
1K notes · View notes
lordprettyflackotara · 8 months ago
Text
Till Dawn || Eyeless Jack || part two
Tumblr media
SMUT 18+, tw: unrealistic demon sex (sorry not sorry, MASSIVE breeding kink, mentions of eating organs (duh, it’s ej), some blood but nothing too crazy, size kink, all the things you’d expect from a fic with ej tbh
part three is here
EJ avoided you like you had the black plague.
It’s not because he wanted to, not by any means.
In a perfect world he would be tangled in your bed sheets right now, not standing in his bedroom at the mansion.
One hand was keeping him steady from falling over, his hair sticking to his forehead from sweat. His breathing was jagged, from trying to ignore what he knew to be happening.
He tried to avoid the overwhelming feeling, the craving.
Because EJ knew without a shade of a doubt, he was in heat.
EJ’s heats came once a year, right around the beginning of summer. The first time it happened he thought he might explode, his urges almost landing him with a knife in his hand.
(Note to self: don’t try to fuck Jane).
The second summer he as more adjusted, the third even more so. He had grown accustomed of what was going to happen, to the extent where the members of mansion set up precautions for him.
Typically he would stock up on food, then lock himself into his medical lab as if he were a rabid dog.
The slightest movement or sound could make him go feral, the demon unable to control himself.
Every year this had worked, his heat dying down after about maybe a month.
But this year, was different. All because of you.
In previous years he had never had a mate, nor had he truly considered getting one. He thought humans to be too fragile. Not to mention the fact he didn’t know if it was scientifically possible to procreate with one. Which was exactly what his body was screaming at him to do.
You invaded every inch of his mind, his heat refusing to subside for even five minutes to allow him some peace.
EJ knew that if he were to allow himself to enter your town, it would be game over.
That he would be buried inside of you in mere minutes, not caring where you were. If everyone had to see him mate with you, so fucking be it. Logically, however, EJ knew these thoughts were absurd and insane. If he was going to ever see you again, he could not allow himself to see you during his heat.
Yet, he knew where you lived. He knew your schedule like the back of his hand. When you’d be at work, when you’d be at the gym, when you’d be home. In bed. Curled up into an adorable, fuckable ball. The thought sent a shiver down his spine.
A knock on the laboratory door snapped him out of his thoughts, the demon trudging towards the door. He unlocked it, staring down at his fellow resident, Jeff the killer. “Hey fuckface, Ben told me you were running low on food. Consider this a favor,” He said dryly. He held up a brown paper bag, oozing with blood and other unidentified bodily liquids. With one sniff EJ knew that inside of the bag was a heart. Not his favorite, but it’d do.
EJ lifted his arm slowly to grab it from him, muttering a thank you. He acted as if he were afraid to hurt Jeff, unsure of what he would do if the two interacted any way out of the ordinary. “Fuck dude, you don’t look good,” Jeff commented. Jacks hand flew to his face, realizing his mask had been discarded during one of his meltdowns. Out of instinct Jack bared his teeth, a low growl rumbling in his throat. His pale roommate raised his hands, signaling he didn’t mean harm.
“Not trying to get your panties in a wad, you just look worse for some reason this year,” Jeff explained. Truthfully his dark gray skin did look paler, his hair ruffled and sticking to his forehead from sweat. The last person on the face of this planet Jack wanted to admitted this to stood right in front of him. “There’s a girl,” Jack managed to huff out, his voice several octaves deeper then normal.
Jeff’s permanent smile curled even further upwards, producing a genuine one. “Well i’ll be damned, my Jacky boy has finally found a woman. Did you lose your v card yet?” Jeff asked. EJ would’ve rolled his eyes if he had them.
“Jeff.”
“Okay okay alright, well you’re in heat right? Why don’t you go see her?” The pale killer questioned. Millions of scenarios ran through EJ’s head, almost all of them ending with your organs in his hands. It wasn’t just breaking you that he was afraid of, but it was the unavoidable hunger that washed over him after fulfilling his filthy desires. “Human,” EJ managed to choke out, his mouth running dry. The word was something that his fellow residents cringed at, Jeff’s eyes going wide.
“Demon boy is entangled with a human? I must be in the twilight zone,” Jeff muttered. Out of all of the residents in the mansion, Jack was the most likely to break a humans bone by mistake. His strength was incomprehensible, EJ unaware of how harsh his touch could be. Jeff eyed his roommate carefully, evaluating his condition. He usually didn’t care to get involved in Jacks life, the demon preferring to live solo.
Yet, it was disheartening even for him to see EJ like this.
“Look there’s no point in wallowing in misery. There’s no guarantee you’d kill her,” Jeff said. His attempt to comfort EJ was poor, one that made Jack furrow his eyebrows. “Your heat is going to be fucking miserable if you don’t at least try dude, don’t be a pussy,” He stated bluntly. EJ furrowed his eyebrows, before nodding. He had to know. Could he control himself? Would you have him?
He could do it. He could find the will to focus on the lust and not the hunger. He could do it. For you.
EJ huffed in response, grabbing his shirt from a nearby dresser. Jeff put a hand up, stopping the demon in his tracks.
“Dude, take a shower.”
\/
Jack couldn’t get to you fast enough. He took several shortcuts to your house, even venturing as far as to run across several popular roads. He had to see you, to feel you. His body was engulfed in open flames, yours being the only way tame the fire. By the time he got to your house he was out of breath, unsure of how to approach you.
Faintly he could hear your heartbeat, the noise alone making him swallow. He had eaten the gift Jeff had given him before he left, ensuring to scrub every last bit of his mouth with a toothbrush once he was done. But the hunger that haunted EJ needed more than just an organ to be satisfied. Questions circled his mind, unsure of how to approach you. Should he knock on the door? Break in?
His gaze landed on the tree he had previously climbed, the large branch still conveniently in front of your window. Jack decided on the old fashioned way, climbing up the old oak tree. He got an odd sense of deja vu, warmth spreading through out his body at the sight of you. You were in bed, reading a book beside your nightstand lamp. You looked so peaceful, your attention completely engulfed.
EJ considered leaving, letting you continue your peaceful human life. That was, until he realized you were wearing his hoodie. Your legs were curled to the side, your chest concealed by the familiar cotton EJ wore everyday. Maybe it was for comfort? No, you missed him. You needed him. Maybe as badly as he needed you. It was in that moment he decided to be selfish, knocking on the glass.
Your eyes darted up, brightening at the sight of the demon crouching in front of your window. You tossed your book aside, running over to let him in. Your legs were bare, your soft skin exposed to him. There you stood, completely exposed to a six foot demon. And you dared to smile.
“Jack?”
EJ struggled to form any words, slipping into your room. He knew his presence alone was incredibly selfish. You were so small, his body towering over you without even trying. Your eyebrows furrowed, your head tilting to the side. “Jack? Are you okay?” You asked, your voice sounding so small. So soft. EJ couldn’t barely find it in himself to look at you, afraid of the urges that soared through his body.
“I’m in heat,” He managed to say, his voice sounding strained. You hesitantly grabbed his hand, guiding him to the bed. EJ sat down on the edge, purposefully holding his gaze to the floor. You sat down beside him, studying his intense posture. He was breathing deeply, veins poking out of his arms. “You’re… In heat? Like an animal?” You asked, seeking clarification. EJ nodded nervously, ashamed of the lewd confession.
It was as if he had never fucked you, with how embarrassed he felt.
“Okay so, what does that mean, um, exactly?”
Your words were so innocent.
He had to see your face.
He had to admire you.
From the moment he lifted his head, he was on you. In a swift motion he had pinned you to the bed, hovering over you. You smelled so fucking good, it was practically intoxicating. “I can’t control myself, I, I mean, I need-” EJ panted, struggling to find the words to explain his situation. He hadn’t needed to explain his heats to anyone in years, nevertheless a human girl. “You need to fuck something, right? And to cum?” You questioned.
Jack swallowed hard, your legs on either side of his waist. He could practically feel your core throbbing for him, his shaft growing harder in his pants. The sensation made him let out a low growl, before trying to swallow the sounds back down his throat. You had the gist of it, but he didn’t think you truly understood the danger you were in.
“I need to breed,” Jack stated, emphasizing the last word. Your small fingers curled under his mask, lifting it and tossing it aside. Your fingertips traced his jawline, the simple affection making his heart begin to race.
“So breed me then.”
Your words had sealed your fate.
His mouth was on your lips before you could process it, the tension growing hot and heavy within seconds. Jacks large hands trailed up your body, shoving your hoodie over your head. Your bare chest was exposed to him, your nipples hardening exposed to the cool night air. “No bra? You filthy bitch,” EJ grumbled. His lips strayed from yours, his body desperate for release. He tried to remember to be careful with you, to take the time to stretch you out.
He barely fit the first time, nevertheless if he didn’t take the time to do some foreplay. EJ didn’t want to hurt you, even if it meant putting himself through agony. His lips strayed to your neck, sucking harshly at the skin. He had to make a conscious effort to not bite, his teeth grazing your skin ever so slightly. He ensured to avoid any crucial arteries, just in case he cut skin. You whined under him, the smell of your arousal filling his nostrils. But as Jack inhaled, he smelled something else familiar.
“J-Jack?” You whispered, the warm feeling of blood trickling down your neck alerting you. Jack leaned back, taking in the damage. It was a thin line of blood, the crimson red paint staining your soft skin. He swallowed as he leaned back, panting. “No we can’t do this, i’m going to lose control,” He said, speaking a full sentence for the first time in weeks. Jack backed away from you, panting as his boner continued to rage on.
The smell of your arousal, fear, and blood, was enough to make EJ hump a pillow to get off. He put his hand over his face, covering his nose. “What? Jack i’m fine,” You argued. The demon shook his head no, trying to restrain himself. The blood dripped down your neck onto your collarbone, the sight alone mouthwatering. He pressed his back flat against the wall, shaking his head no. You didn’t have any idea how badly he wanted you. The fact that you didn’t only made the situation more dangerous. You placed your hand over your small cut, the wound evident that EJ wasn’t careful enough with you.
“I can handle it, just-” You began. You struggled to find the right words, to convince him to take you. To breed you right there and then. “Just clean it,” You say, unsure if you even said the right thing. EJ’s eyebrows raised curiously, his prey asking him to clean her wound. “Are you sure?” Jack said, his words almost entirely muffled by his hand. You yanked away his wrist, forcing him to fully inhale the overwhelming scent of your blood.
“What did you say?”
Jack licked his lips, tilting his head to the side.
“I said, are you sure?”
You removed your blood stained hand from your wound, nodding.
“I can take it, whatever you give me.”
Fuck.
In the blink of an eye EJ flipped positions, your back being shoved against the wall behind you. His three tongues emerging from his lips. They assaulted your neck, lapping at the wound. He refused to let any drop of your precious blood go to waste. Once he was done cleaning your neck his focus shifted to your hand, licking your palm clean.
“I forgot you had three tongues,” You admitted. Your words reminded EJ of what was happening. That you weren’t a meal, but his mate. Jack allowed himself to smile, chuckling. “Yeah? Do you remember what they feel like?” He asked curiously. Playing along, you shrugged. “I don’t think so, maybe you’ll just have to remind me,” You replied.
Jack had never sank to his knees quicker.
He ripped your panties in half, discarding the fabric across the room. He nudged your knees apart, forcing you to lean against the wall for support. You were practically dripping, the sight only fueling Jacks heat even more. “It’s taking everything in me to take my time with you, little human,” Jack panted. He brought himself to your cunt, his three tongues finally making a grand appearance. Two of them decided to enter you, your walls spasming under the odd sensation. The third stayed focused on your clit, flicking your sensitive bud as if his life depended on it.
EJ’s hand held your legs harshly. As your legs began to tremble, you slowly began to lose your balance. He took this opportunity to pick you up, holding your legs in his arms as his tongues abused your cunt. Your hands tugged at his hair as he held you in mid air, your thighs trembling in his hands. Each tug you pulled only made him fuck into you rougher, his tongues almost seemingly having a mind of their own. “Fuck- right there, please, right fucking there,” You pleaded, your sinful pleas bouncing throughout the hollow house.
With one final flick of your cunt you came on his tongues, each of them lapping up your juices with pride. Jack needed more, he needed something, anything, to prevent him from fucking you on the floor. “On your knees, now,” He growled as he set you down. With how wobbly your legs were you nearly fell anyways, landing on your knees on the hard wooden floor. EJ felt as hot as a heater, his skin radiating unnatural warmth. You stuck out your tongue, maintaining his gaze as he unbuckled his pants.
“You filthy filthy girl,” EJ muttered. He mockingly traced your jawline, shoving his pants and boxers down to his ankles. You had almost forgotten how large his cock was, his length alone enough to break you. “Awe, what’s wrong? Am I bigger than the human boys you play with?” Jack asked teasingly. He tapped the head of his cock against your tongue, shuddering at the warmth of your mouth.
You took his tip in stride, swirling your tongue around it as the demon before you groaned. EJ began shoving his cock into your mouth further, his tip scraping the back of your throat.
He wasn’t even in half way yet.
“You may want to loosen your jaw,” EJ recommended. How far could the human jaw physically extend? You forced your jaw to go slack, struggling to accommodate to Jacks girth as he pushed himself in further. Jack gritted his teeth out of frustration, fuck, this wasn’t fucking working.
Fuck it.
Fuck this.
His large hand snaked down to your hair, yanking you off of him. He dragged you onto your feet with ease, as if you were as light as a feather. “I changed my mind, I want you now,” Jack mumbled. He roughly brought his lips to yours, dragging you back over to the bed. The only thing he needed in the world right now were your ankles dangling over his shoulders. You were struggling to keep up, your heartbeat racing faster and faster.
The sound made Jack’s ears twitch, his desire to fuck you the only thing that kept him from tearing you apart.
“Jack?”
You stared up at him curiously, EJ realizing he was staring at you blankly.
The demon swallowed, trying to hold himself back. His body was practically vibrating, every fiber in him screaming to breed your pretty little cunt, then to swallow your organs whole. Starting with your precious heart. You didn’t know what he ate, right? Or did you? EJ began to rack his brain, his mind spinning. Were you afraid? You didn’t smell afraid. But to be fair though, all Jack could smell was your arousal.
“Jack?”
Your concern made him snap out of his haze, the realization that he was oddly panting above you hitting him like a brick. He licked his dry lips, trying to form coherent sentences. “You don’t want this, you don’t want to be my mate. You-” Jack began. He knew what it would be mean if he did what he wanted, what every fiber in his being was screaming at him to do. “Deserve a nice human life, with a human man,” He rambled.
Your next action caught him off guard, it being something he hadn’t even fantasized about. It was so shocking to Jack, that he hadn’t even theorized it to be possible. Your eyelids fluttered shut as you dragged him down to you, planting your lips onto his. As you kissed him, your small hand reached down to his throbbing cock, running the tip up and down your folds. EJ growled as he pushed you down against the mattress.
“You’ve done it now,” He snarled. EJ swatted your hand away, pumping his length. Teasingly he brushed the head of his cock against your clit, the overstimulation making you squirm. Jack tried his hardest to be slow once he entered you. Honest. But your walls sucked him in your body screaming that you were almost as desperate as he was. This. This was what he had imaged all of those sleepless nights as he pumped his cock, daydreaming of the disgusting things he’d do to you.
And here you were, withering under him as he shoved his cock inside of your cunt. “Such a good whore for me, such a good hole for me to use,” EJ grunted. He could feel his mind going numb, his ability to maintain composure fading away as he bottomed out. He could feel your walls squeezing him, begging him to let you adjust. His cock was visible through your stomach, the outline only fueling the fire further.
“So sorry, I can’t hold back any longer- Have to- Need to breed you,” Jack panted, moving his hips. You bit your bottom lip as he began to fuck you, the pain almost too much. You had taken him before, sure, but he wasn’t this rough with you. He let out low growls as he fucked you, the pain slowly subsiding into pleasure. Jack couldn’t help but nuzzle himself into the side of your neck, inhaling your scent.
Your hands had grabbed his hair, tugging at it as he mercilessly pounded into you. Your moans were mixtures of pleas and incoherent babbles, his name mixed in there somewhere. You couldn’t think straight, Jacks hips having a mind of their own. “Fuck, i’m gonna breed you, you’re going to be mine,” Jack huffed. He licked the side of your neck, the sweat coating your skin flooding his tastebuds.
He could hear your heartbeat speed up even faster, your body struggling to keep up with Jack as he fucked you. “You’re gonna be my mate, you understand? My personal cumdump,” He snarled. The degrading words were the most he had spoken in weeks, his mind screaming at him to cum inside of you. He needed it like he needed air. He needed to see your cunt red and puffy, leaking his cum.
EJ managed to leave the comfort of your neck, watching the outline of his cock slide in and out of you as he abused your cervix. “You’re gonna be such a good mother, gonna take you back to the mansion,” Jack groaned, his words slipping out mindlessly. He grabbed your legs, forcing them to spread wider. You whined as he grabbed your tender flesh, pounding into you. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“You’re mine, my mate to breed, you’re gonna carry my kids, over and over and over,” EJ growled. You could feel yourself getting close, your eyes practically seeing stars. “J-Jack, i’m getting close-” You warned. Jack grinned, his thrust not letting up for a second. “Go on mate, cum for me so I can mark you as mine,” EJ ordered, his words almost muffled by his animalistic growls. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came, your orgasm only making Jack fuck you harder.
He grabbed your limp body, pounding into you through your orgasm until he found his own high. Loud moans exited his throat as he came inside of you, your cunt now full of the demons sperm. He panted as his heart rate began to settle, his stomach beginning to growl. His eye sockets widened as he realized he could still hear your heartbeat, the sound coming back into focus. He swallowed, your smell making his desire shift to raw hunger.
Jack pulled out of you quickly, relieved to see that you were relatively dazed. Your eyes were closed, your focus on slowing your body back down to normal. As calmly as he could he slid off of the bed, redressing himself. He knew if he alerted you he would owe you an explanation. It would put him at a dangerous crossroad. He would either have to tell the brutal truth, or a painful lie that would no doubt put your relationship in jeopardy.
EJ grabbed his mask, sliding back onto his face as he pulled down the sleeves of his hoodie. He watched his cum ooze out of your cunt and onto the sheets, the sight almost enough to overrule his painful hunger.
Almost.
Jack slipped out of your window quickly, running to the next heartbeat he could hear.
An odd satisfaction washed over him as he ran into the night, knowing you were now his.
1K notes · View notes