#when they finally fuck this season the earth will shatter

[shesnake]

Myha'la & Marisa Abela in Industry season 3 (2024).

[househrt]

househrt's Repression fic rec list

Fic recs where Wilson and/or House is incredibly repressed and/or oblivious (about their sexuality, their feelings, their anything). I've tried to tag authors' tumblrs where they exist, but pls tell me if I've missed any!

Repressed!Hilson

Diagnosis by tornyourdress Creator's summary: House has a dream about Wilson and decides it's his brain's way of telling him Wilson's sick. The fact that it was a sex dream is completely irrelevant. Rec notes: 1.1k. Hilson getting together. Mutual repression from these two losers (affectionately)

every burn hole smells like home by JesseStresse Creator's summary: When House's pipes break in his apartment in early season 5, leaving him with no running water and no ability to shower, Wilson is recruited by the ducklings to make House shower because he smells distractingly bad. But Wilson doesn't smell anything bad. Actually, Wilson thinks House smells really good. Which could mean nothing. OR: Wilson discovers boysmell and has a midlife sexuality crisis about it. Rec notes: 20k. Hilson getting together. Trans Wilson thinks he's straight, both House and Wilson think the other one is straight, Wilson is in deep, deep denial

Repressed!House

systemic by ictus Creator's summary: Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis. Rec notes: 10k. Hilson getting together. House keeps having vivid Hilson dreams and runs a DDX on himself (one of my fav tropes). He's so repressed about his feelings for Wilson :)))

He Won't Tell You That He Loves You by hellshandbasket Creator's summary: “Finish it out,” he grits between clenched teeth. “Go on. Ask it.” Nolan shifts in his seat. “Are or are you not attracted, at the very least, to Wilson?” House knocks his forehead against his cane. “I don’t know. Maybe.” In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can't stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug. Rec notes: 25k. Hilson getting together. Repressed!House (not) dealing with his big gay crush realisation, Wilson is more observant than people think (quote: “You are the stupidest fucking person I’ve ever met,” Wilson declares. “You’re a moron, you know that? I don’t even know how you get through the day. An idiot.”)

Polygraphing by DarnGoshit Creator's summary: Greg is in a room full of liars and he knows what his Power is before he hits junior high. Or: Everyone is born with a supernatural abilities. House's is knowing when someone lies. Rec notes: 5.4k. Pre-Hilson. (Mostly background Hilson) House is the last one to know he's in love with Wilson, and is desperately trying to find out if Wilson feels the same (but he won't ever just ask, of course not)

keep me where the light is by RMarie124 Creator's summary: "House has his earth shattering, (good) knee weakening, life changing revelation about Wilson at such an inopportune time, that he’s tempted to laugh. He would have, if he hadn’t been hands deep in his patient’s organs." Rec notes: 13k. Hilson getting together. House realising he's in love with Wilson and panicking about it, feat. some bad pain days

Repressed!Wilson

a thousand teeth (and yours among them) by itooaminthisepisode (anarchy_opossum) Creator's summary: He just takes in the sight of House, loose and pliant and beautiful despite the pain he’s in - the glazed look in his eyes, the way his mouth drops open, the way he presses his nose into Wilson’s palm. The way he digs his teeth into Wilson’s skin. “Ow!” he yelps, quickly withdrawing his hand as the tender mood vanishes without a trace. “What the hell was that for?”' or: Sometimes, when House gets too overwhelmed by his emotions, he gets a little bitey. This is five times House bites Wilson, and one time Wilson finally bites him back. Rec notes: 1.2k. Hilson getting together. James "I'm not gay" Wilson, my beloved, with some hurt!House as a treat

only fools rush in by bittereternity Creator's summary: so take my hand, and take my whole life too. Or, the one in which Wilson realizes he's in love. It kind of throws him off-kilter. Rec notes: 3.7k. Hilson getting together. Wilson is the last one (except for House) to figure out he's in love with House. Includes Foreman giving Wilson the shovel talk and Cuddy's response to Wilson's "I'm in love" confession being “Which nurse do I need to replace this time?”

Noticing The Little Things by erimeows Creator's summary: Wilson notices things in House that he didn’t before. He notices that House eats the yogurt first because he knows that Wilson’s favorite parts of the parfait are the fruit and the granola, notices that House has beautiful flashing blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. He notices House’s cute little habit of playing with his own hair when he’s bored and the way House likes his coffee; black with an ungodly amount of sugar. Wilson notices things in himself that weren’t there before either. He notices that his heart is beating far too fast, that his face is hot, that his fingers twitch with anxiety and that he can’t stop himself from scratching the back of his neck. He’s so tired from losing sleep over the issue that he can barely stay awake, even with House looking him in the eye the way he is right now. “The hell’s wrong with you?” Rec notes: 4.4k. Hilson getting together. Wilson's big gay sexuality crisis. House's concern takes the form of thinking he must be sick and running a DDX on Wilson's big gay crush symptoms

Five Times House pranked Wilson And One Time He Didn't by vampiremustdie Creator's summary: what it says on the tin. crack fic + some very much earned yelling at each other as an excuse to get them close together !!! Rec notes: 5.3k. Hilson getting together. House being annoying, Wilson getting annoyed, then they kiss about it (also includes House drugging Wilson, one of my fav tropes)

I wanna scream “I love you” from the top of my lungs (but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me) by eating_custardinbed Creator's summary: “Call your divorce attorney and pack your bags, Jimmy. Me and you are shacking up.” in which Wilson is told that he is gay, and goes on a journey of self-discovery Rec notes: 5.8k. Hilson getting together. Wilson is the last person to figure out he's gay

A Little Experiment by roamingbee Creator's summary: House and Wilson have a drunken one-night stand. Wilson freaks out. House deflects. Rec notes: 7.8k. Hilson getting together. Wilson freaking out after his first gay experience (with House)

James Wilson and the Cozy Blanket of Denial by tornyourdress Creator's summary: "Why not date you?" Exactly, House says - why not date me? Rec notes: 3.2k. Wamber + Hilson -> moving into Hilsamber. Jealous!House and James "I swear, all straight guys fool around. It doesn't mean anything!" Wilson

your slightest look easily will unclose me by tornyourdress Creator's summary: Wilson has an unusual response to hearing about a patient of House's trying to 'cure' himself of being gay, and both House and Sam realize something's up. Rec notes: 3.6k. Wilson/Sam -> Hilson getting together. Wilson went through conversion therapy as a kid and is in major denial about how it fucked him up

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night by lawrussoauto Creator's summary: In his office, at work, with a girlfriend at home, Wilson was about to watch his best friend and their boss have sex. The realisation that House had emailed him a sex tape finally sank in. Where, in said sex tape, they were talking about him. “You think I’m afraid to go public? I want to prove you wrong … With a sex tape. We’ll send it to Wilson. It’s a win-win.” -- House, S07EP01. Rec notes: 1.6k. Huddy + Hilson -> Hudson. Wilson is repressed about his big gay feelings for House and watches Huddy's sex tape.

Correlation Does Not Equal Causation by housethemd (Whiskeyrose1) Creator's summary: “This… this hasn’t happened before.” “Most people say that in the opposite situation.” Alternatively titled: Wilson Doesn’t Actually Have Whiskey Dick Rec notes: 3.1k. Established Hilson. Previously repressed!Wilson and House have a drunken hookup (quote: “You don’t have whiskey dick, you’re just gay.”)

Shake The Disease by WeirdAn Creator's summary: Wilson moans House's name in bed. His marriage goes downhill, but he isn't gay, right? Rec notes: 3.3k. Hilson getting together. Wilson having his big gay freak out

Simply Complicated by wearywren Creator's summary: Wilson has made a big discovery about the true nature of his feelings toward House. House, of course, wants to figure him out. Rec notes: 2.7k. Hilson getting together. Wilson having his big gay freak out, House being nosy

Commedia Dell'Arte by IreneSpring Creator's summary: Even the most ornate masks eventually crumble. Wilson's lasted over thirty years, which would be impressive, if it weren't for the devastating ramifications. Rec notes: 7.6k. Hilson getting together. Wilson in denial about how he's autistic. James "But everyone does that, right?" Wilson. (Quote: How the fuck does anyone get diagnosed with autism when all the criteria are just normal parts of being a person?)

The Evolutionary Imperative by pleasuretoburn Creator's summary: "There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends, and there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function." (2.04) or, Wilson gets involved in a situation he never expected to find himself in but, as the good, blundering creature that he is, he will people-please his way into his new life as a father. The only problem is, as always, House. Rec notes: 46k. Hilson getting together. Kid!fic that I, someone who rarely enjoys kid!fics, loved (Continued in this series)

Hypothesis by IreneSpring Creator's summary: At the beginning of the month, James Wilson decides to break out of his depressive spiral by having an affair with the first woman who is not needy. By the end of the month, he is facing an existential crisis decades in the making. Rec notes: 15k. Hilson getting together. Comphet!Wilson figuring out his sexuality (quote: "Am I gay, or just severely depressed?")

[feel free to send me fics you think should be on this list and I may add them. The rest of my fic rec lists are here. Last updated 05 October 2024]

[hush-writes-preg]

Spooky Season Day #13

Concept: Imagine finding yourself intoxicated with the pheromones of a werewolf's heat. You're flipped onto your belly and mounted like a bitch, their straining cock sliding deep into your hot, eager hole. This is no soft, gentle fucking; they pump into you with a ferocity and feral hunger that nearly sends your eyes rolling back in your skull. Their knot is a hot threat pounding against your entrance with blatant intent, and you know where they want it. Where you want it. When they finally drive it home, your climax crashes over you in an earth-shattering tidal wave. You're screaming out in pained pleasure, feeling them twitching inside you with every jet of potent seed into your unprotected womb, the knot plugging you up to ensure conception.

Months pass, and their seed has taken root. Their litter shifts and squirms in your belly, especially when they continue to pleasure themselves in your gravid body. Clawed, furred paws rub fondly over your massive abdomen while they're pumping you full of a fresh load, and you can't imagine going back to your old life.

(A Spooky Season prompt. Feel free to put it to good use! 😘)

[piko-power]

If there's one thing from Season 2 of Sonic Prime that lives rent free in my head, it's THIS-

It's a small moment, but so much is dissected in just three seconds of this one shot.

Mainly the expression and the voice from Sonic here.

Deven Mack's delivery on screaming out for Shadow's name is just, incredible. You can literally hear the fear in Sonic's tone when Shadow got slammed by some giant crystals and fell into the void. (or whatever the heck it's called I'm thinking about rewatching some episodes until Season 3)

And since we can recall the final moments in Adventure 2 where Shadow falls to the Earth, and apparently knowing that according to one of the Takeovers, Sonic was going to save him but Shadow refused him to so that way he wouldn't fall with him, this just makes this moment, and the delivery alone, even more intense, if not, heartbreaking. (At least in my opinion lol)

And we need to mention the eyes.

I couldn't help but notice some of the smallest of details not a lot of people pay attention to, unless you're me, who goes insane over outstanding animation details. XD

My personal favorite details are the eyes, since they express a lot of emotion without words. This is the best example.

These emerald eyes? Right here? Fucking horrified of loosing Shadow.

Frantically looking around the darkness looking for a black and red figure and just praying that he's still there, but especially alive and okay.

This tiny moment here just means so much to me.

Sonic here, for a split second, thought that he lost Shadow, and not only did he nearly loose him again, but Shadow was the only person he knows from his own world, meanwhile his friends (and Eggman) were shattered, and this was also after seeing his friends as ghosts on loop.

And even though earlier they were fighting over Nine's gadgets, Sonic here was worried, if not, terrified, about loosing Shadow, the only one who survived the whole shattering the shards shtick aside from himself.

Plus, he needed someone from his world to talk to anyway (at least try to talk to) since his friends right now don't know who he is, suspects him as a bad guy, betrayed him at some point, all of the above, etc.

He ain't loosing Shadow. He doesn't even care if they were fighting, he is NOT loosing Shadow.

He is NOT loosing his only friend.

And that's why I love this shot here.

And I also wish I can just clip videos instead of just taking pics without said audio god dammit-

[ficnoire2]

An Ode to The King, Briana Irene Matthews

When I say I love this character, I say it with my whole chest.  I cannot begin to express the joy I experienced when one of my fellow educators passed me this book and said “I’ve got a fantasy book for you, and there is a black girl on the cover.”  I am a child of The Neverending Story, Legend, Willow, etc (Google if you need to) and brown faces were few and far between, if there at all.  There are so many things I admire and appreciate about Bree Bree and the power she holds can’t be understated. 

*Spoilers Ahead so Exit Stage Left if You Need To*

Choices

In a story where choice has been hijacked for so many of our faves, I love the choice she makes at the end of Bloodmarked. To choose herself.  I know there has been controversy regarding this but fuck all that, she said what she said.  The fact that black girls need to be perfect and make decisions that are equally as perfect no matter what they are up against is absurd.  That line of thinking has real world consequences.  I love that she tried to consult with elders, those that came before her.  She seemed to be following this implied protocol that did not bear the fruit she’d hoped for.  

When she says, “I realize now why Jessie’s mantra to call root didn’t work for me.”  She said,  “Think of the power you possess and the woman who gave it to you.” I smile sadly,  “I used to think that woman was my mother, and through her, you.  Tried it her way and it didn’t work.  Because you all didn’t give me my power.”  I kneel to face the streams, thrust my hands into the earth from which they came. 

“I did.”

This was a hell of a scene because she is finally shutting off the noise of the outside world, the distracting chatter blocking her self actualization.  Arthur, the ancestors, the Legendborn, and choosing Bree.  Much like she puts the broken pieces of  Excalibur back together, she is in a sense doing the same for herself (pain welded blade).  It even bears a deep purple stone in the pommel. The color meant to speak to this pain, this literal and figurative bruising and beating she has taken.  In addition, the choice to go with Erebus and the uncertainty that hangs there was pure fearlessness.  As her character sheet says, she is intrepid, bold.  The way she is written, you just know it is in her soul.  As Tracy says in her dedication, For every Black girl who was “the first.”  Black is capitalized here, emphasized, because we are often demonized for making decisions or having experiences that those that came before may not have had the courage or opportunity to step into.  The First.  In Bree’s line everyone ran and she decided to stop running and turn to face the unknown, whatever may come with her chin up.  

In addition to being a clever badass, I loved watching how she navigated her relationships with Nick and Sel.  Again, another hot button topic where folks are clutching pearls and clenching ass cheeks.  I am not interested in “ship wars” but what did catch my eye was the way Bree allowed herself to be loved on.  The safety and soft intimacy she received and craved from Nick in a time where her world had been completely shattered was beautiful to read.  “I’m impressed, despite my still racing heartbeat.  How does he do it?  How does this boy navigate my emotions like a seasoned sailor, finding the clear skies and bringing them closer, when all I seem able to do is hold fast to the storms?”  He is patient with her.  The way he speaks, comforting and protective.  I love that she had this!  The giddiness at that age of meeting someone that makes you dizzy in the best way.  I love that Bree allowed herself to experience the respite Nick offered.  That relationship represents the light in her, hearkens back to a simpler time.

I also think Bree enjoys the challenge Sel presents.  Aside from him trying to kill her in the beginning (and being an all around asshole), she always seems to find interest in him (her shadow side).  “He’s dressed in black, as always, but his long coat is gone.  His tattoos are on full display below sleeves rolled at the elbow.  They wind down his forearms and wrists, and I can’t help but study them.  I wonder how far they go and how many he has before I remember that I detest him and shouldn’t care about his tattoos at all.”  

Bree is fiery (quite literally) and finds herself drawn to the darkness and mystery of Sel.  In truth, she likes to stir the pot.  When Vaughn is giving her shit about being Nick’s page, she intentionally fucks with him.  “But I’m not going to disappear.  And I don’t want to keep my head down.  Instead, I’m going to give Vaughn a glimpse of who I really am, and show him exactly who I’m not.”

She then throws the haymaker, “You’re a bigot and a bully, Scheafer.  You insult me because you think you know what I am capable of, but you don’t.  I must make you nervous, though, for you to expose your insecurities about your odds of success in the tournament.”

Long story short, Briana Irene is with the shits! How many times have you had to check in a loser such as Vaughn, who in all their mediocrity, thinks they are superior?  I love that she essentially says, “aight then.”

I say all that to say that I like that she is feeling her feelings.  She can acknowledge and accept the safety and easiness of Nick, while also reveling in the mystery and chaos of Sel.  Those two desires can (and do) live in the same body.  I love that this is confusing for her and she grapples with it because, what 16 year old wouldn’t! Low key/high key, folks my age would grapple with certain aspects of that but again, her choices.  

Bree is supposed to be complicated. At times infuriating.  I find it strange however, when folks don’t give her the space she has earned to develop.  So many of us Black girls are not afforded this space.  No room to grow, change our minds, or choose a different path.  She is grappling with grief and grief is messy, complicated.  The vessel in which she entered the world ceases to exist on the plane of the living and she is floating in the darkness and uncertainty of that.  “Your anguish is wrapped around your very heart.”   Not to mention navigating racism, sexism, supernatural beings, and understanding her own body and power.  That is a tall order.  She represents multitudes of girls who were “the first” and I am so glad I get to witness her in all her flaws and greatness.  THE KING.  Rumble black girl, rumble.  

[irisbleufic]

This will probably feel like it’s coming out of the blue, as The Simpsons isn’t something I’m known for posting on main, but like…I’ve had a long-term fascination with this show. I saw the first few seasons when I was a kid. I had to watch it at a friend’s place and my grandparents’ place, because, like many parents raising kids/teens in the 1980s-1990s, mine were convinced Bart was a bad influence. Lisa’s ambition and cleverness have always meant a lot to me, but this strange rumination has more to do with my eternal puzzlement over the bad rap Bart has gotten from parents.

I can say more than ever, especially with regard to the past decade or more of seasons, that Bart is actually a really sweet kid. Mischievous and bored, but genuinely sweet. Meanwhile, Lisa’s got a devious streak a mile wide and is probably the fictional kid my parents should have been most worried about teaching me dubious behavior and scheming (because she knows how not to get caught).

I’m sure this conversation has been had many times over on the internet, but this moment of navel gazing in the wake of watching the first handful of episodes from the latest run (Season 35, how the fuck has this show been around for all but the first 7 years of my life?) just feels…necessary somehow. Every once in a while, when a piece of media has been with me for a long time, I’ll have this weird realization that the character who means the most to me isn’t the one in whom I saw the obvious parts of myself at first.

Sure, I’ve always been a dutiful, ambitious student—even now that I’m an adult who teaches college undergrads, I don’t think I’ve ever shed that. But I was also that weird, imaginative, often-bullied kid who didn’t know they were neurodivergent, who got yelled at for not paying attention during class and sneaking off to the woods adjacent to my elementary school during recess. Sometimes, I took the fall for the occasional prank my few close friends and I would play because I wasn’t good at getting out of the way in time. I had a real disdain for authority, although I knew how to hide it from the few teachers and admins I genuinely liked/respected.

I don’t really have an earth-shattering point to make here except that, huh, it’s neat to realize Bart is the one I related to the most all along. It never even occurred to me that we’re both oldest children; Lisa is eldest-coded sometimes even though she’s the middle kid, but…damn, if Bart’s experience as the oldest isn’t similar to mine. You get cracked down on, get in trouble for, things that your parents can’t be arsed to go after by the time your younger siblings come along. You love those little shits with all your heart even though they aren’t above rubbing their immunity in your face. You shatter beneath the pressure of things that finally, finally hurt too much to keep up the tough-guy façade.

Anyway, Bart: my parents were wrong about you. Everyone’s parents were. I feel that even more strongly as an adult than I did when I was a kid. And the kids like you, like us—more sensitive than meets the eye, mind always racing a mile a minute, mischievously curious, all too often misunderstood—are the reason I became a teacher. Thank you for that.

I’ve been saying to friends for a long time, when The Simpsons comes up in conversation, that the cast of this show are our Players: “Let them be well used, for they are the abstract and brief chronicles of the time. After your death you were better have a bad epitaph than their ill report while you live.”

[buryyourrevolutionaries]

trying to explain justified is so hard. like, season one is literally perfect television the whole way through but like it also takes a few random episodes (like that one where connor roy is a criminal dentist) before the amazing story kicks in . season two is ACTUALLY perfect television and i would argue its low-key on the same quality level of a season of breaking bad but it also changes the entire course of two major characters arcs in an insane way. season three is straight up fucking insane and has the most batshit crazy villain ever but its finale is so anti-climactic (and doesn't play "you'll never leave harlan alive" for some reason) season four is lowkey bad in the beginning and the protagonist is in peak womanizing corrupt cop mode with no consequences for any of his actions but the antagonist is simultaneously going through the most devastating earth-shattering arc ever and it ends so tragically and wonderfully and it's now the best season of justified somehow. and season five exists!!! and season six is so freaking tense and good but you just want these two men to kiss instead of making their fucked up relationship everyone else's goddamn problem, please go home and spend a single minute with your newborn daughter, please give up on stealing millions of dollars from a pizza place when EVERYONE knows that is your plan and you are being hunted down by every law enforcement agent ever. every female character serves incredible cunt and the protagonist fumbles every single one of them. every male character is queercoded to some degree. all of the side characters are funny weirdos with insane amounts of trauma. justified is the best show ever and severely underrated. also at one point the protagonist almost dies half paralyzed in a bathtub because he decides to visit the house of a woman he knew was part of an organ stealing operation and flirt with her for some fucking reason.

[feyburner]

“Wen Kexing’s stories are always about death. He populates them with animals and children. He tells Chengling about a boy who chases a firefly into a dark forest only to find himself lost, dead leaves crunching like bone underfoot, owls laughing overhead. In that story the boy gets adopted by a wild tiger. Years later when winter is cruel and the tiger is starving, it eats the boy. It makes the mistake of swallowing him whole. The boy makes his home in the tiger’s belly and lives there for a season, surviving on scraps of meat from the tiger’s other meals, until finally he is strong enough to claw his way out. Afterward he skins the tiger and fashions its pelt into a cloak, and all the other animals of the forest are so stupid they believe he is the tiger, and that is how the boy becomes king.

“I like shishu’s stories,” Chengling confesses, crawling into bed after Wen Kexing has gone. “But sometimes when he tells them, he looks sad.”

Chengling is so young, Zhou Zishu thinks. He is too young to know it’s not sadness Wen Kexing feels, not exactly. At a certain point there is no such thing as sadness. Either you’re hollow or you’re full. Wen Kexing reminds Zhou Zishu of a wine gourd. He was born full, scraped hollow, and now fills himself with wine. It’s something they have in common.

…

Zhou Zishu closes the doors behind him and waits until the candle is snuffed out, the cracks of yellow light replaced by the blue dark of evening. He takes his time wandering back through the halls of the manor to the east wing where he sleeps. He lingers in the shadows and thinks about a boy in a tiger’s belly, picking at the torn bodies of monkeys and wild pigs. Eating around the bits of fur and gristle. Fitting his own teeth to the marks of the tiger’s, pressing his small hands to the soft floor of the stomach, feeling along the bars of rib. Zhou Zishu thinks about wearing the skin of the thing that devoured you. How long does it take for a boy to become a tiger? Is it when he swallows his first mouthful of bloody meat?  

Lao Wen, Zhou Zishu wants to tell him. You can take off the pelt. I already know what you look like, wild, adorned with viscera. Gore-soaked and naked as a newborn. Maybe I wasn’t formed in Ghost Valley, but I have walked the realm of shades. The difference between you and me is I climbed into the tiger’s mouth and brought my brothers with me. From within its jaws I beckoned. I told them we’d be safe there, protected from the wolves.

…

Night comes alive outside the window as they drink, the nightingales fluting their songs. Together they discuss Chengling’s training and the search for a silk painter, the local wine, Gu Xiang and her Cao da-ge—Wen Kexing curls his lip, for show—and the orchards. What a pleasure it is, Zhou Zishu thinks, to live such peaceful days that you can spend your nights remarking on unremarkable things. What a pleasure it is to talk for the sake of talking, to sink into the familiar patterns of his voice. Wen Kexing has said nothing earth-shattering. No grief or fury stalks his words. He complains about the weather and quotes a poem he’s quoted before. He picks at a plate of nuts, avoiding the bits of dried fruit, and cackles at his own jokes. His laugh, when it’s real, is either low and soft or high and foxlike, a rasping bark.

…

This time when he leans in, he brushes their foreheads together. His eyes slip shut. The last time he kissed someone was in a lavish room draped in gold and peacock blue. He remembers the skin of his chest pulled tight around the two nails embedded in it, still an unfamiliar pain back then. He remembers the heavy scent of plum wine, the scrape of stubble against his chin, his jaw, then lower. He remembers staring at a hanging scroll on the opposite wall, an ink-wash scene of a single pine tree overlooking a misty gorge, its knotted branches reaching out into the empty space. That night he fucked or was fucked, it doesn’t matter. His hands did what hands do. His body took and took again, half clothed. Afterward he rolled into the damp spot and drove his knife into soft flesh. He listened to another round of gasping. More spasms like the desperate flopping of a fish. Men die and fuck the same.

He thinks if he said that aloud, Wen Kexing would respond: And there are so many ways to do both. 

…

How terrible, at the end of this life, to find someone so funny who likes him.”

…

…

i wish i could copy paste the entire fic here. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read it. your writing is beautiful. it is pure rhythm. it feels effortless and i know thats bec the level of skill is insane. thank you. i hope you never stop.

Thank you so much. This really means a lot. That fic is special to me bc it broke a writing dry spell. Thank you for reading it and sending this, I really appreciate it. 💛

[shadowkoo]

bts masterlist

wips ☾ updates ☾ ao3 ☾ main m.list ☾ kofi ☾ taglist ☾ tape credit

©shadowkoo 2017-2024. All rights reserved. Disclaimers can be found at the bottom of this post.

𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉:

ongoing - ✎ | completed - ✓

hiatus ✧ | discontinued - ✗

angst - ☹︎ | fluff - ☺︎

smut - ❤︎ | fantasy - ♔

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

The Ex Text �� ↠ ex boyfriend with benefits, booty call

The 2 AM texts have started again. It’s a bittersweet familiarity that you can’t run away from, and despite wishing to forget him: no one will ever measure up to the exceptional standard set by your ex, and you’ll never have anyone as good as him either. Like a permanent mark on your heart, Jungkook’s presence has become an insatiable craving, an addiction you’ll never outgrow or cast aside. ❤︎ ☺︎ ☹︎

Oh Brother ✓ ↠ brother’s best friend, college au, pwp

Things are bound to get messy when you fuck your brother’s best friend repeatedly. Better not get caught, for both of your sakes. ❤︎

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

soon...

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

The Taste of Sin ✓ ↠ witch/warlock au, s2l, horror, black magic au

Following his sister’s passing, Taehyung faced a daunting battle within himself, one where he eventually succumbed to the enveloping shadows that gripped his soul. Your task is to free him from the clutches of the black magic that now consumes him. The only problem? He doesn’t want to be saved. ☹︎ ❤︎

Ten out of Ten ✓ ↠ college au, enemies to lovers, fratboy!bangtan

For the past three years, Kim Taehyung has made it his mission to annoy you relentlessly on campus, finding every possible way to drive you up the wall during your shared classes. However, as you both enter your senior year, something strange happens. Taehyung begins to sense a shift in his energy, realizing he might just have some secret feelings for you. What unfolds when you make this earth-shattering discovery too? ❤︎

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

soon...

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Just Dance It Off ✓ ↠ ballet dancers au, e21, smut, angst, fluff, college au

You're over the moon when you land the female lead in the end-of-semester show. It feels like your hard work has finally paid off, everything is going great. Well, until you learn who your partner is… ❤︎ ☺︎ ☹︎

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

soon...

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

soon...

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

Chasing Clouds ✎ ↠ military au, doctor au, s2l, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, romance

Namjoon made the decision early on in his training that he would abstain from dating or entering any form of relationship while in active duty. He’s determined not to burden anyone with the likelihood of being to be notified of his death or causing pain to someone he loves by his long absence. Ironically, he found himself drawn to you, a doctor who challenges his beliefs and contradicts everything he upholds.

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

soon...

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

soon...

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Baby Maker ✓ ↠ slice of life, romance, fluff, smut, newlyweds

You and Yoongi have been relishing the comfort of your newly married life, savoring each moment together. However, there’s an additional want tugging at your heartstrings – the thought of becoming a mother. That’s right, you want a baby. Yoongi isn’t sure if he’s ready for the journey of bringing a baby into your lives. But he’ll agree to anything that makes you happy, and if it’s a baby you want, it’s a baby you’ll get. ❤︎ ☺︎

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

soon...

𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

soon...

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

soon...

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖘

All About You ✎ ↠ hockey au, pro athletes, OT7 (oneshots for each member)

The upcoming season for the Denver Dragons is predicted to be an absolute game-changer! From lightning-fast breakaways to jaw-dropping saves, get ready to witness a showcase of skill, determination, and pure passion in both the game on the ice and the one in these player’s hearts. The team is hungrier than ever, prepared to do whatever it takes to secure their victory. With rivalries heating up, new talent on the rise, and fresh sparks flying, this season promises unforgettable matchups that will have fans on the edge of their seats. So grab your jerseys and get ready to witness what this season has coming. Let the games begin!

𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖇 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖘

soon...

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖘:

Unauthorized copying, reposting, or translation is prohibited. Currently, this Tumblr account and this Archive of our Own account are the sole platforms for sharing my written content. Should you come across my work being uploaded on platforms such as Wattpad, Quotev, FFN, AFF, another Tumblr or AO3 account, etc., kindly inform me.

Any instances of plagiarism will result in public exposure, blocking, and appropriate actions taken against the offenders as I am committed to safeguarding the originality of my ideas and content.

Any instances of inspiration will always be duly acknowledged and properly credited.

Sensitive themes and triggers included in my works will be tagged appropriately.

I request minors to refrain from reading or engaging with any content on this page. This blog is intended for individuals aged 18 and above, and my works are tailored accordingly.

[multitrackdrifting]

Peak Media I've enjoyed this year:

1000xRESIST (100%)

Chrono Ark (STS but on crack)

Needy Streamer Overload (100%, surprisingly good)

Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance (Platinum is WIP)

Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail

Frieren (anime and manga)

Fear & Hunger I/II (not for the feint of heart)

Ousama Ranking (a good boy's adventure)

A Space For The Unbound (100%)

SIGNALIS (100%)

Fafner in the Azure: Dead Aggressor / Right of Left / Heaven and Earth (pain)

Granblue Fantasy: Relink (i'll shatter this sky when the last chain breaks)

True Detective Season 1 (yaoi detective show)

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (yaoi movie)

Gridman Universe (pure kino)

Helldivers II (just a fun game)

Heavenly Delusion (though the anime ends in a fairly jarring place, I'll admit)

Late Night With The Devil (hehe)

The Sinner (fucking immaculate detective show)

Dark (German mystery-thriller kino)

Abyss Media:

Metallic Rouge (abysmal)

Them (just grating to watch for me)

Midsommar (ass)

[makeste]

update part two: THE SPOILERING

~*~THIS POST IS ENTIRELY ABOUT BNHA MANGA SPOILERS.~*~ IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP WITH THE CURRENT EVENTS OF THE BNHA MANGA, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST. I do have a separate "hey guys I'm back" update post here which is spoiler-free!

THIS POST, THOUGH, IS NOT SPOILER-FREE. IT IS THE OPPOSITE OF SPOILER-FREE. IT EXISTS SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF DISCUSSING THE BIGGEST, MOST SPOILERLY SPOILERS EVER. IF THAT IS NOT YOUR DESIRE, PLEASE PROCEED AWAY FROM THIS POST WITH ALL HASTE.

I am, however, assuming that something like 90% of this blog's readership does, in fact, know exactly what this post is about, which is why we are going to TALK ABOUT IT right here and right now underneath this tidy read-more.

okay, so! gonna stick with the random imaginary Q&A format from my other post just to make things easier.

1. "wow makeste, way to randomly go on spoiler lockdown hiatus for NINE WHOLE MONTHS only to MAGNIFICENTLY DROP THE BALL by running smack dab into THE BIGGEST BNHA SPOILER OF ALL TIME."

I know right??

2. "so what do you have to say for yourself."

short version: I made the critical tactical error of existing as a human being in the general vicinity of the internet in early August 2022. very poor move on my part. rookie mistake.

long version: so there I was, minding my own business, watching the trailer for BnHA season 6, as one does. when out of nowhere, YouTube's algorithm decided to be all "OH? THIS PERSON LIKES MY HERO ACADEMIA? BOY DO I HAVE A RECOMMENDATION FOR THEM." next thing I know, I'm scrolling through my YT home page and ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S A DETAILED PICTURE OF MY SON'S MANGLED BLOODY CORPSE, RIGHT NEXT TO AN ALL-CAPS DESCRIPTION READING -- I SHIT YOU NOT -- "BAKUGOU REALLY JUST DIED!!! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

seriously though. that is word-for-word verbatim what it said. the internet literally got right up in my face and said "OHOHO!! LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY FORGOT TO DELETE LITERALLY ONE SINGLE MHA-RELATED VIDEO FROM THEIR WATCH HISTORY! TIME TO DESTROY HALF A YEAR'S WORTH OF PAINSTAKINGLY DILIGENT SPOILER AVOIDANCE IN ONE EARTH-SHATTERING BLOW!" and just like that, my miraculous fate-tempting seven month spoiler-free streak came to an end. the sequel to blah blah SIXQUIRKS. something something BAKUGOU DIED. JUST THOUGHT WE'D SHARE THAT LITTLE UPDATE WITH YOU. HAVE A GOOD ONE, AND DRIVE SAFE!

so naturally my first reaction was basically just. looooooool :) :) :) what the fuck.

here I am. a working mom. who left her seventeen-year-old fictional son in the care of a 36-year-old Japanese man for the better part of a year because HE SAID he would take good care of him. Jump Festa 2022!! quote unquote!! "I’ve said this to Okamoto [Nobuhiko]-kun in LINE, but Katsuki will be having his greatest scene in the manga in future developments. I hope people who like Katsuki and hate Katsuki will look forward to it." bruh. we have the receipts right here! "greatest scene," he said! oh, goody, I said! something to look forward to when I finally have the time to catch up! "yes," Horikoshi smiles evilly. "something to look forward to, indeed." this fucking guy. can you even believe.

and just to be clear, when I say that I was otherwise 100% not-spoiled up until this point, I mean it. one hundred percent. I had absolutely ZERO knowledge of anything past chapter 339. the last I saw of Bakugou, he was hanging out with the rest his class showing off his cool new moves to Deku and being blindsided by Aoyama's betrayal and stuff. then bam. seven months later, fate mails me a postcard of him lying on the ground with a bloody hole in his chest. like WOW, OKAY. ZERO CHILL. OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE ONE TIME I DECIDE TO GO ON HIATUS FOR TWO HUNDRED DAYS, SMDH.

anyway so that's my story.

3. "so exactly how spoiled are you?"

lol I'm not even sure. I guess my best answer would be, "SOMEWHAT?"

or, if you don't mind reading more words, I can tell you exactly how spoiled I am by summarizing the Things That I Do Know in a bullet list.

THINGS THAT I KNOW

all of this apparently takes place between chapters 359 and 362, with 362 being the big "oh he DEAD dead" chapter. I think. based on all the fics that have since cropped up on AO3 with ominous chapter 362 spoiler tags.

I am pretty sure Bakugou was fighting either Tomura or AFO when it happened.

I have this vague idea that somehow his heart exploded or something?? like I don't really know the details, but that's what I've been able to glean.

apparently Jeanist and Edgeshot were involved in some sort of effort to save him?? but apparently that didn't work out too well I guess. OR DID IT? I actually do not know.

I have the vague impression Edgeshot may have also died, somehow, as a result of those heroic efforts. OR DID HE? again, I actually do not know at all. this is basically the knowledge equivalent of me overhearing half of a phone conversation between two people who were trying to recollect half of a phone conversation that they in turn overheard, several months earlier.

lastly, I know that Bakugou was apparently carrying around his All Might trading card from waaaay back in his chapter 118 flashbacks, in his pocket or something. because he's a giant fanboy nerd. who wanted All Might to sign it. but was too shy to ask I guess. "WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS SENSITIVE SIDE OF HIM COMING?? BAKUGOU CARES ABOUT THINGS??? HE REALLY DID LOOK UP TO ALL MIGHT JUST AS MUCH AS DEKU THE ENTIRE TIME??? WHAT A DEVASTATING REVEAL?!?" is how we were supposed to react to this, I'm guessing, lol. but I'll have you know that SOME of us have already written approximately 1200 essays on how much of a secretly sensitive All Might weeb Bakugou is, and so WERE ACTUALLY NOT SURPRISED AT ALL! yeah that's right! TAKE THAT HORIKOSHI. TRYING TO CATCH ME OFF GUARD AND MAKE ME CRY. WELL YOU WASTED YOUR GODDAMN TIME, because I would have cried anyway! and I did cry! and I will cry again!

anyway so yeah. and I think the card got blown up and/or otherwise destroyed somehow, just to add insult to injury. which, don't tell anyone, but between you and me, I'm not sure what he expected. "let me just take my precious limited edition All Might trading card, my most prized possession, along with me into the intense final battle with the final villain. for good luck or whatever. there's no way this could possibly end badly." did he even bother to put it in a zipper pocket. wtf were you thinking Katsuki. again I do not actually have the slightest idea since I have not actually read this chapter lol.

anyway! so that's everything I know! and let me just add to that a quick summary of things which I in turn do NOT know, the short version of which is: Literally Everything Other Than What I Just Typed Above. including but not limited to:

whether Bakugou actually was fighting Tomura, or AFO, or both. ??

who was fighting with him (except that for some reason or another Deku wasn't there, because I guess he fucked off to go do something else?? you and I fell into the exact same trap there, Deku. "surely Kacchan will be fine and dandy for the next five minutes or hours or days or however long while I go take care of this Other Important Business." yeah, you would think so, wouldn't you? BUT WE LEARNED OUR LESSON, DIDN'T WE.)

what Deku’s reaction was (but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say: PISSED)

literally anything else about the context of this fight, including where, when, and why it took place.

literally everything else that has happened in the manga since chapter 339. for real you guys. I just have to stress again how utterly out of the blue this was for me. to read this spoiler completely without context. WHAT HAVE THESE CHILDREN BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST NINE MONTHS. I'm terrified to learn the answers lol.

anyways but moving on now to the most important section of this post, starting with the one question which I think is by far the most pressing and important, and which I can thankfully answer with a single sentence.

4. "so... do you think he actually is dead?"

no lol.

but since you insist, here is my list of Reasons Why I Don't Think Bakugou Is Actually Dead, based on my nonexistent knowledge of the events of the past 40 chapters, and the actual context and details of his death. and I guarantee there is not a single point here which has not already been discussed to death on thousands of other blogs, but dammit I've been stuck without an outlet for all these thoughts since August, so the hell with it:

so for starters, in my experience, characters whose older selves narrate the story From The Future ("in that moment, there were no thoughts in my head... my body just moved on its own") tend to be pretty immune from dying, overall. just throwing that out there.

from day one, the series has made it very clear that this is the story of how Izuku becomes "the greatest hero" (more recently retconned/updated to become a pluralized "this is the story of how we ALL became the greatest heroes").

also from day one, Katsuki's narrative arc has been set up as a (first contrasting, and then later evolving to be more complementary) parallel to Izuku's, down to them having the same goal.

as the series has progressed, that concept of "becoming the greatest hero" has been further defined as "becoming a hero who always wins no matter what, and always saves everyone no matter what."

Katsuki in particular has expanded on this idea to emphasize that the greatest heroes are the ones who save EVERYONE, no matter what. "I made a pledge! I will achieve absolute victory, every time! we're taking this 4-0, no casualties! the strong don't settle for anything less!" and more recently, "because to live up to those ideals and surpass All Might... we gotta save you, the civilians at U.A., and the people on the streets. because saving people is how we win."

therefore, any victory in which either Katsuki or Izuku dies in order to defeat AFO is not a perfect victory, and will not result in them becoming the greatest heroes.

this is also a flagship Shounen Jump manga and the spiritual successor to the Big Three, meaning this would basically be the equivalent of killing off Sasuke or Zoro or Rukia. a.k.a. not gonna happen ever lol.

on top of that, it's also Horikoshi's tribute to Western comics, particularly those produced by Marvel, a.k.a. the guys who practically invented the No One Ever Stays Dead trope.

and last (actually not last but this really is getting too long) but not least, the number one reason why Katsuki cannot and will not actually die: because AFO does not get to win. seriously. he just doesn't. he got to kill All Might's important person and be all smug and cruel about it. he killed Nana's family and was all smug and cruel about it. he's tormented generations of heroes by deliberately targeting the people they love most. and so even without me knowing the actual context or circumstances of Katsuki's supposed "death", I have no doubt that's why it happened, because that's what AFO does. and that's who Deku loves. and so of course AFO would try it, yet again. that's his fucking modus operandi

but, because he is the final villain, we know he is going to lose in the end. and so this, imo, is the biggest and simplest reason why Katsuki isn't dead: because if he is actually dead, then AFO wins. even if he himself dies in the end. he gets to go down knowing that he took a part of the hero with him. he gets to hold on to that one last triumph. even though he loses, he keeps the hero from winning and saving, and he gets to savor that.

so, since we know that he's NOT going to win, because this is a "good guys win" type of story and not an "evil prevails, sorry, it's called REAL LIFE, bitches, enjoy your tears" type of story, that means that Katsuki is not actually dead. or will not stay dead. either way. period.

anyway so yeah! that's basically the gist, though by no means are these all of my comprehensive thoughts, and I can safely promise you many more rants to come, especially as I prepare to take on the challenge of reading through 39 new BnHA chapters with the foreknowledge of my son's untimely not-death looming in the back of my mind the whole time! looking forward to that! both ironically and unironically! should be interesting to say the least lol.

so on that note, one final q&a before we conclude:

5. "is it cool to discuss other manga spoilers with you?"

I would prefer not to, mainly in the hopes of trying to preserve as much of the "pure" unspoiled liveblog experience as possible, both for myself and for anyone else who cares to actually read said liveblogs. I do already feel bad for depriving people of the experience of watching me naively frolic my way through the upcoming arc(s) all BLISSFULLY UNAWARES lol. instead you'll have to settle for watching me timidly cry my way through while yelling at every single character who blindly tempts fate with their stupid foreshadowing comments. and don't even try to tell me there won't be foreshadowing comments. I know what type of story I'm reading. and more importantly, I know exactly the type of person who's writing it. ~*~gReAtEsT sCeNe~*~. you son of a bitch. THIS ISN'T OVER, HORIKOSHI.

anyway, so basically I would prefer to be as spoiler-free as possible, same as always. but I also no longer have the time or frankly the will to police every potential spoiler out there, so at the end of the day I'm pretty much just going to leave it up to you guys! also because I figure that at this point, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN lol. (but for real there's probably a ton of important stuff that could easily be ruined still, so yeah if you don't mind let's just try to steer clear of all that lol.)

[the-chessboard-is-personal]

hfjone liveblog bc I've heard this one is intense and i don't want to wait for the 29th to be shattered again /hj

using this playlist

EPISODE 1

0:04 - okay so this is already starting out WAY different than the other ones I've seen /positive. like. just from STARTING to watch this I feel this like. aura of "yeah this is going to be INTENSE" and- oh hey chess pieces

1:04 - character that isn't named after the object they are?? WHAT HE'S GONE????

(credits) - woah okay. WOAH OKAY. so, confirmation that it takes place on (an alternate timeline) earth. watching this kinda made me think about like. the sort of energy? of the start of each object show. like, ii is really upbeat, a bit low quality but made with passion, reminds me of total drama a bit, probably bc of MePhone's voice in ep1. bfdi had a gameshow vibe from the very beginning, it felt simultaneously natural and manufactured. but ONE? one is dark. one is the blues. one is six people being kidnapped. it feels like, idk. muffled sound. tv static. like an ellipses in 102pt font. silence demanding not to be filled.

●●●

anyway onto episod- oh there's a post credits scene

I- ..YOU SEE?? like that silence is LOUD AS FUCK. like that's "deep in an alleyway you're lost and alone" kind of silence, even though the scene was a grocery store. like the energy this series is radiating reminds me of WHITEPINE.

EPISODE 2

4:23 - sorry to keep mentioning ii while watching this but like. that limb thing is...familiar

14:08 - the fact that it's still nighttime when tomato is sent back implies to me that, while it has been a week on The Plane, everyone who gets eliminated will be transported back to both where and when they were taken from

EPISODE 3

9:59 - Airy has no idea what he's doing, does he.

14:58 - oh I never even thought stone would have malicious intentions...hm

EPISODE 4

0:24 - uhh.

1:57 - aww really? i liked Abstracty.

2:57 - uhh??

what is this

6:45 - wait what?? but people haven't even voted- 7:10 - oh. OH.

EPISODE 5

4:50 - oh there's. nowhere to vote in the description y'know I probably would've figured out that votes are fake if I had checked earlier

8:48 - ...I- I know what she's doing I think. "oh I can pay for [presumably life saving] surgery myself, I spent what you gave me on a TV and a phone" the candy guy I forget his name, saying he pointed out the warning she refused to wear a helmet? she. she's not trying to get rid of the mold, is she. she's using money as an excuse.

EPISODE 6

5:12 - oh Airy is. actually evil? or.?

EPISODE 7

1:56 - did he.drive home? drunk? 2:19 - oh that was Before.. huh.

4:48 - what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck wHAT THE FUCK- uhh.

EPISODE 8

1:47 - th. the. what the fuck. th- the entire show is powered by a ball connected to a wire. y'know if I had a nickel for every ti

5:55 - what the hell is that supposed to rnean

EPISODE 9

2:27 - dystopian ass billboard

3:53 - an address?? and holy shit stone knew he would keep those when he left huh.

(credits) - this show is amazing. this episode feels like a finale. because it probably IS the finale, of seeing the show from Backpack/Liam's perspective - or at least the gameshow (named one). or at least that's what it seems like to me. also the soundtrack fucking SLAPS and BRO THE DESCRIPTION THIS IS SO LIKE. POETIC?? d u d e

EPISODE 10

0:00 - the definition of rattlepate is "(ˈrætlˌpeit) noun. a giddy, empty-headed, talkative person; rattlebrain". interesting..

8:09 - sorry I don't have much to say about stuff, it is interesting, I just. I've been like half-speechless through this whole thing.

EPISODE 11

2:42 - you would not BELIEVE what my immediate thought was seeing that spoon character.

3:39 - what?

oh

5:09 - uh. 5:21 - TEXTY!! 5:44 - OH I saw a meme once where the airhorn was a Yippee instead-

EPISODE 12

1:21 - Liam is a telemarketer.. wait that link. SEASON TWO??? moldy with no mold. 2:00 - these. these images are censored very strangely. a- autophobic. afraid of being alone.. WAIT WAS TOOTHPASTE THE ONE ON THE OTHER CHAIR

EPISODE 13

3:19 - I knew he was going to do that.

6:40 - OH WHAT THE FUCK???

EPISODE 14

6:03 - Alan Becker reference?

EPISODE 15

(credits) - WHUH?? BRYCE???

EPISODE 16

6:58 - no. NO.

EPISODE 17

0:17 - I read that as "Transphobic" and was about to start writing a fucking comment-

1:16 - that's. that's who Abstracty tried to be that one time

EPISODE 18

5:13 - HE DIED???

(end) -

d

dude

dude

well I guess I was right about being shattered what the hell was that /positive

[thegenvyisreal]

Good Omens Season 2 Episode 6 Thoughts (for real this time)

Let's just take this chronologically so I can lose my mind at the end.

Crowley in heaven! What a dork! He looks lovely I hope SO MANY PPL cosplay him.

OKAY. OKAY LISTEN. I know we never got Crowley's angelic name but that demon was a SERAPH I WILL NOT BE TAKING QUESTIONS. I AM A RAPHAEL!CROWLEY TRUTHER AND WILL BE SO UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE.

He's so powerful! Someone on here pointed out that when Gabriel in the recording said he was the only supreme (or level 1 or something?) archangel in heaven it panned immediately to Crowley. MY MAN. MY GIRL. CROWLEY IS SO IMPORTANT!!

Throwing encyclopedias at the demons and Aziraphale wincing, boy I feel you.

And shax made fun of Zira for liking food?? Okay fat shamer! Get fucked!

Wartime Halo Demon Bomb?? Great band name.

Crowley defusing a war with just saying "no, bad, do NOT"? The power he has!!

OMG

INEFFABLE

BUREAUCRACY

First of all, I THOUGHT the fly was a Beelzebub thing! I just didn't think it had Gabriel's memories in it.

Their little love story was cute, but explain to me HOW we were supposed to deduce why the jukebox is the way it is or WHY Gabe lost his memories without the Bureaucracy exposition??? NEIL YOU WANTED US TO FIGURE IT OUT BUT HOW???

Good for them for going off together but it's just so SILLY how THEY get to have that and our duo DON'T. I do not like it.

Okay. Let's get on with it.

So I DON'T get my angsty finale, but I do get something INFINITELY WORSE.

Maggie and Nina coming to Crowley to tell him what's up. Good for them!

Nina calling Maggie Angel I ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR

Hell yes Derek Jacobi you're so lovely but I want to punch the Metatron in the FACE.

Why on earth would you get Zira THAT coffee?? He doesn't drink coffee!! Is this some power trip?? Is there SOMETHING IN THE COFFEE???

Aziraphale. Sweetie. Darling. Dear boy. You're so STUPID.

Crowley being like, I need to tell you this right now or I may never be able to say it. And Zira like, hold that thought! YOU RUDE LITTLE BITCH LET HIM SPEAK.

Aziraphale. WHY. WHY DO YOU INSIST THAT HEAVEN IS SO WONDERFUL AND GOOD!!! THEY SUCK!! THEY HURT PEOPLE!! YOU LITERALLY LIED TO THEM ABOUT JOB'S KIDS CUZ YOU KNEW THEY WERE WRONG!! WHY DO YOU KEEP DEFENDING THEM!!

Crowley confessing. Begging Aziraphale not to do this. Aziraphale not understanding why Crowley WOULDN'T want to do this. ZIRA AFTER EVERYTHING CROWLEY'S BEEN THRU YOU WANT HIM TO GO BACK TO HIS ABUSIVE FAMILY???

The kiss.

My heart shattered.

I've been waiting for this moment for over a month, and I got it in the WORST POSSIBLE WAY. Crowley's desperation, Aziraphale not knowing how to react. Not reacting at all. Crowley kissed him and he just stood there.

Sidebar: I KNOW that Aziraphale KNOWS that he's in love with Crowley. He KNEW in 1941. You dumbass. You imbecile. You fucker. Why.

"I forgive you".

LITERALLY MURDER ME

I want to understand him. I am Aziraphale-coded for sure. But I guess I'm also Crowley-coded?? Idk what to do with my feelings.

The WAY he SAYS the line. The ACTING from Michael. Bravo bb. THE WAY. HE SAYS IT. MY HEART IS ALREADY TORN OUT AND NOW YOU PUT IT THRU A MEAT GRINDER.

Excuse me Zira I have one question:

WHAT.

ON EARTH.

DOES HE NEED TO BE FORGIVEN FOR.

YOU ABSOLUTE TWAT.

I'm gonna commit multiple crimes.

Crowley just standing there HEARTBROKEN. He LOVES THAT ANGEL SO MUCH. HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM. I'M GONNA MCFUCKING LOSE IT.

And he just walks out. And Aziraphale looks just as broken. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

And after EVERYTHING. Crowley still waits by his car. Waits to see if Aziraphale will come to his senses and come back for him. But he doesn't. Zira even LOOKS BACK AT HIM before going into the elevator. How DARE you. How FUCKING DARE YOU YOU COWARD.

And you know??? You know what really gets to me?? You know what really cooks my noodle?? Besides the "I forgive you"???

Aziraphale's face journey in the elevator. How it lands, at the end, on a horrific smile. Bless Michael's acting skills cuz that is a horrible smile.

And Crowley just feels nothing. Completely broken. Like all of us.

I get it. I GET THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE PARALLELS. @sycophantastic pointed it out, that it's a 3-act structure, and I know this is the "dark night of the soul" portion of the hero's journey. I GET. IT. I still hate it.

It took me forever to get to sleep last night. Like an hour and a half. Cuz my brain wouldn't shut up. And I dreamt about them. And it was awful and sad. And NOW we're going to a friend's house to watch the whole thing with her for the first time. Again. I have to endure this again.

I need QUITE EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL.

[randomfandomss]

oohhh okay then...alright

What a devastating yet perfect finale. I, of course, anticipated that after Season 1 Aziraphale would have a lot of growing to do for his and Crowley’s relationship to ever work, and guessed that would be taken up this season in some capacity.

...and I am not sure what to say. He still has complete faith in heaven when time and again they have proved themselves to be utter pieces of shit. He believes in himself, that he can make a difference which, yes! He can...but I strongly believe that one has to have the guts see the reality and acknowledge it, with all its goodness and faults in order to be able to really make a difference. So far he has just refused to do so.

He said, “Nothing lasts forever”, yet he has always refrained from questioning the “ineffable plan”. Staying in the comfort of what has been defined as “goodness” by god, never questioning anything at all even though, it has been proved through whatever we see of their shared history that Aziraphale has always grown, learned something and generally become a better angel whenever things had been questioned and the right answers had been given.

He has to break out of this cycle and see things as they are, clearly. About heaven, about self imposed restrictions, norms defined by people who only care about power and don’t give a fuck. He as learned how to live on earth but has he been truly been awake all this time? He needs to start seeing things in full color, that have so far been distorted by his black and white perception for the world. He believes and hopes but the thing he is placing belief in is fundamentally broken.

On the other hand Crowley, to say I've been heartbroken over what happened to him would truly be an understatement and I'm not sure what else to say...So I will leave it at that. The way he found a companion in Aziraphale, someone who accepted him for all he was and tursted him. Someone who SAW him, because I think thats what he would've always wanted. To be understood, when no one, neither Heaven nor Hell ever did. To have this dream shattered into a million pieces once again. When he had finally made peace with his existence, with who he was, all the good and the bad bits, and found some rest from the incessant questioning. When he was ready to just...be, Aziraphale asked him to go back to the place that had hurt him profoundly, SO MUCH. Aziraphale asked Crowley to be restored into what his idea of what good and right is, the ideal existence for him. Crowley has never been an angel nor a demon and Aziraphale knew him since the beginning...how could he not see that?!?! He was the ONLY one who SAW it.

Is he trying to fool himself or Crowley? Aziraphales ideal existence is where something never goes bad or is never wrong, that, in itself is toxic and I believe the next season will obviously focus on that.

I know he desperately wanted to be with Crowley for eternity and live the “ideal” life with him but his definition of ideal itself is wrong. He needs to challenge his beliefs and inspire others to do so as well if he wants to really LIVE and not just exist.

Anywho that is Neil Gaiman’s department, SO!!

SO, I will WAIT to SEE where they go next and I will looking out for that SUPER MEGA APOLOGY DANCE from Aziraphale :D

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

literally hoping they break up in the last season

Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 2/3

Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK

they NEED to breakup (AGAIN) in the final season let's start w their character arcs rn. el was born in a lab and was raised VERY strict to be a weapon and shit. she escapes and now her whole arc is finding herself and being who she is separate to what people tell her she is. mike comes from a lowkey conservative family with parents who are married only to fit into the normal, not because they love each other. his arc, similar to his sisters' struggle in earlier seasons, is to not fall into conformity just because you feel like you should. both of these stories line up with the main moral of the show: be who you are even if it isn't "normal" ot whatever now how does mileven go against this? mike, and a bunch of ppl around el, in the earlier seasons keeps telling el what she should do/be. even in the later seasons we see mike refering to el as a "superhero" (which she doesn't like). neither of them feel free to be themselves around the other (shown by el lying to mike and mike being WAY out of character around el, etc). mike literally can't tell el he loves her while not under pressure. mileven sometimes parallels mike's parents' and sta.cy (a failed conformity relationship) and other bad relationships ANYWAYS it also reallyyyy pains will byers (who's been canonically in love with mike for like years, and mike's best friend) to see this. also, milevens keep harassing will/mike shippers on anon even months after the last season. like they have a hate discord server just for it. anyways i love mike and el but ohhh my god there is still SO much i haven't mentioned about how bad they are together (and how bad shippers often are, sometimes being violently homophobic and calling bylers delusional and shit)

OOOH IT FUCKING SUCKS THEY ARE SOOOOOO BAD FOR EACH OTHER JESUS THEY DON'T COMMUNICATE LIKE EVER THEY ARE BOTH CLEARLY IN IT BECAUSE OF THE EXPECTATION OF A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THEY CAN'T CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER THEY DON'T SHARE ANY INTERESTS THEY'RE HAVING CONFLICT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THANK *GOD* I AM UTTERLY CONVINCED THEY ARE HEADING FOR A CANONICAL PERMANENT BREAKUP. NOT TO MENTION THEY ARE BOTH GAY AS HELL TO ME. YOU SEEN THAT "THIS SHIP IS SO CANON AND IT'S A LESBIAN AND A GAY MAN" TWEET? YEAH. FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING SHIP NOT TO MENTION THE SHIPPERS ARE FREQUENTLY OPENLY HOMOPHOBIC. UGHHHHHHH KILLING BITING (this is my fave btw)

they have no chemistry or buildup unlike the other st couples. they kissed season 1 right after she asked if he would be her brother. hes very obviously compensating for something. i think i gagged when they made out in season 3. speaking of. thats all they do. make out. they dont really have meaningful conversations. this also comes from the fact that when mike met her she was fresh out the lab that abused her for like 11 years. she was not socially ready to understand the bounds of a platonic relationship let alone a romantic one. anyway mileven break up s5 will happen i believe it. if nothing else. cross ur fingers gamers

the sheer homophobia and general toxicity that the fans of this ship create is absolutely insane when their perfect (read: mischaracterized) straight (read: homosexually-coded) couple is judged for having toxic or incompatible elements is insane. the only good romantic aspect between these two characters is in a cringefail "wow this really doesn't work at all" i-want-to-put-this-dynamic-under-a-microscope-and-study-it-because-it's-an-absolute-trainwreck" kind of way. el has been abused and cut off from society her whole life and at 12 years old she immediately gets together with this guy at whose earth shattered after his best friend went missing who then has surviors guilt after she almost does which is misconstrued as romantic rather than unhealthy obsession and trauma. and so on and so forth.. there's just so much wrong they lie to each other So Fucking Much despite truthfulness being very important to them and they ignore their friends to make out (which is filmed in a way that is meant to feel uncomfortable btw lmao) and el doesn't understand mike's trauma from bullying and he doesn't understand how she doesn't want to be built up into being a superhero etc etc. and it's just so increasingly bad I want to rub my temples just thinking about them. they're just so bad for each other and their relationship has done nothing but make them worse in general but for some reason their ship is viewed as fluffy or cute or whatever the hell. anyway mike is so heavily coded to be fucking gay and in love with his best friend (and el can be interpreted to be lesbian coded) and I just need to get them out of there amen

I'm gonna make a list bc the reasons are many: 1) their first casual interaction they get together but in the same conversation she asks him if she can be like a sister to him 2) all their "cute moments" are them making out in the 3rd season with still absolutely no chemistry 3) their only actual cute scene is them dancing at the snowball yet in the same scene they portray the same way two couples that are not romantic 4) mike becomes a terrible person when he's with eleven 5) eleven literally GOT OUT OF A LAB SHE WAS RAISED IN and this is the first guy she dated 6) she can't even say he's a good kisser 7) mike can't tell her that he loves her (bc he doesn't) and the only time he does he makes this whole ugly ass speech up about how she's his "superhero" even though she doesn't want to be seen only for her superpowers 8) in said speech, while listing the things that he loves about her, he only names her superpowers + he lies multiple times 9) EVEN AFTER SAID SPEECH she is still mad at him and won't talk to him (probably bc she saw right through his bs) 10) she spent a whole 6 months lying to him about all of her life 11) mike is clearly gay and is meant to be with his childhood best friend will 12) mike idolizes her and doesn't see her as an actual person 13) eleven needs to be her own person (ffs she just got out of a lab) 14) the ship sucks and even the authors and actors say so

they have NO chemistry. they kissed after one week of knowing each other when they were 12 and eleven didn't even know what a romantic relationship was at the time, given the fact that right before mike kisses her she says "will you be like my brother?". they spent the entirety of season 2 apart with mike calling el on his walkie and el watching romantic movies on the tv for a year (then will is in trouble and mike says 'fuck it' and goes full protective boyfriend mode but this isn't about byler so i digress) and start dating soon after they meet again even though they haven't had a SINGLE conversation and are barely friends. season 3 comes along and the writers do their utmost best to show us how incompatible they are. their makeout scenes are uncomfortable, they break up at the beginning of the season and neither one of them seems particularly bothered that their first relationship is over. in fact, the happiest we see el in the entire series is during the time they're broken up, when she gets close to max (who she actually has chemistry with, by the way) and finally experiences freedom, being a teenage girl and etc since mike had been "keeping her all to himself" for like, a year. aside from that, he doesn't go after her at all after she dumps his ass (literally) but when he and will have a fight, he bikes across town in the rain just to apologize, that boy is GAY. finally, the theme of season 4 is lies and once again, mike and el spend the season apart (once again, mike spends the season with WILL) and right before they part ways, they have a big fight about mike being unable to so much as WRITE "love, mike" on his letters to el, let alone say it, and he bullshits his way through it and refuses to say the actual reason until vol. 2, when he apparently "confesses" that he's afraid he'll lose her if he says it (okay, amigo, you're gonna lose your girlfriend who was literally begging you to say 'i love you' not even a week ago, aham, totally valid excuse). conclusion: they don't know each other and they don't act like themselves when they're together. mike hides his nerdy nature, el feels like she has to be the amazing superhero he's always viewed her as or else he'll lose interest and it just feels like they're both grasping at straws because this relationship has been dragged on for too long that they don't know how to break up permanently. they are afraid of losing each other, but not romantically, as mike was el's first semblance of family after escaping the lab and mike feels like it's his duty to protect and care for el. also, mike is gay. in other words, FREE THEM.

[ellsieee]

9 People You'd Like To Know More

Tagged by @khaotungsfirst. Thank you for the tag!

Last song:

不该玩火《守候 Waiting�� - 李慧珍 Stay With Me has been over for weeks, but I can't stop listening to the OST even though the whole songs haven't even been released yet.

Currently Watching:

Dangerous Romance (Nothing earth shattering about this series, but I'm enjoying the Perth/Chimon energy and my jaw dropped over the locks this week.)

I Feel You Linger In the Air (I like the parallel universe/time slip concept and I'm down for slow burn. Although I find Jom slightly annoying, I'm still enjoying this series overall.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Living for Chen Yi/Ai Di like everyone else.)

Love In Translation (Fluffy and cute. The Tammy storyline needs to die though, it's really starting to grate. Oh and the brother is terrible!)

Minato's Laundromat 2 (The amnesia bit came out of nowhere and this 2nd season has been a bit of a let down. Now I'm just watching for Asuka.)

My Personal Weatherman (Not enjoying this as much as everyone else. I actually enjoy reading everyone's analysis more than the series itself. 😅)

Only Friends (Really enjoying how fucked up and dysfunctional everyone is. I hope there isn't some tragic backstory or redemption arc for Boston. I love that he is such an asshole. No excuses.)

You Are Mine (This is a straight up 霸道總裁 (bossy CEO) cdrama. 😅 I'm generally not a fan of this genre but I'm willing to watch a few more episodes to see if I'll enjoy this series.)

Under the Skin (I always have a non-romance series ready for when I need a break from all the slo-mo eye contact and slip and catches. I like the crime/mystery genre and also love Tan Jianci.)

Call Me By Fire S3 (I love me my variety shows. This season hasn't been as good as the last seasons even though Jordan Chan is finally not in S3 for which I am eternally grateful. Jeff Satur has been great through!)

Currently Reading:

Kill Decision by Daniel Suarez I randomly saw this book at the 99 cent store and figured that for a $1, I'd give it a try.

Current Obsession:

Still obsessed with Stay With Me. How can I stop being obsessed when they released this behind the scenes from their photoshoot? Praying these pictures are going to be in the photobook. And then there's Binjiong sending me down the delulu rabbit hole with their posts. Both have new dramas out already but we have Jiongmin still promoting his SWM cp by posting a video of him and Xu Bin in the middle of the night and then deleting it right after. 🤡🤡🤡

Tagging: @victooooorious, @vickyawesome99, @vegassimp, @brazilian-whalien52, @ueasking, @lfcwifenspice, @benkaaoi, @bluespring864, @alphapackfeels As usual, feel free to ignore