#when thats like the opposite of the point of the show

[hanafubukki]

My mind went a different way with the "Lilia finds you in a puddle of your own blood" prompt. Like... a Beauty and the Beast way haha. A beast with children- they could either be young or canon age so let's go with canon.

He's making an errand run in the village and also takes a stroll in the outskirts to make sure there's nothing troublesome in the area. Thats where he finds you in your own blood, off a beaten path where likely nobody would look for you. He doesn't know what happened, but you don't look like the type of person who deserves to die on the side of a road. So he takes you home with him to fix you up (with magic fae stuff idk). You're brought to the castle they live in, avoided by everyone in the area, and are put in an extravagant guest room where you're tended to. It takes three days for you to wake up. The first person you meet is Silver coming to check up on you. You don't recall what happened to you so Sipver explains how his father found you and healed you. The young man is so kind and gentle, you imagine his father must be the same way. You can't thank him personally yet, though, because he's gone further away for some supplies not avaliable in the village. Silver is the one who brings you meals and such, although a couple of times it's been Sebek, who yells at you that you'd better not be trouble and to be grateful for Lilia. You don't meet Malleus until you can leave your bed. You run into him in the castle- this strangely large but empty castle, housing only 4 men and is cleaned using magic. He's kind like Silver but with a hint of mischief. He gives you a tour and keeps you entertained. While he doesn't seem to actively seek you out, he does appear before you routinely an hour after you leave your room and seems reluctant to leave your side.

A week later is when Lilia returns. He's glad to hear you're up and out of bed. But you freeze when you lay your eyes on him. You know him. You've seen him before. You and a friend had stayed out a little too late one night and you caught a glimpse of him in the moonlight. Deadly fierce as he pushed his sword through a monstrous beast's chest. You didn't know WHO he was, but you knew he was dangerous and didn't want to be on the wrong end of his ire. And now you're in his castle with his sons. But...the personality he's showing is the exact opposite of what you saw that night. He's lively and funny and....weird in an endearing way. You thought your heart would race from fright but instead its racing for reasons you don't yet want to admit. And you forget that you could go home at this point, but instead you're fitting into this family's life so seamlessly and now....you don't want to leave. You want to watch Sebek and Silver bicker and have Malleus explain his favorite gargoyles to you. You want to cook a fsmily supper for everyone and enjoy evenings by the fire as everyone relaxes before bed. You want Lilia to take his spooks on you a step further...to kabedon you against the wall, to have you feed him a spoonful of soup you're in the middle of cooking, to share a bedroom with him....but is that even something he wants or would ever want? Are you a guest to him? A friend? A .... daughter? You want to be none of those things, but what right do you have to want that? After only a month or two, to be a permanent member of this family you hadn't know had even existed before.

((And later on, when you accompany Lilia into the village, you run into a big and burley man. And you remember what had happened that night Lilia found you. He'd been upset with you- you hadn't expected him to be so upset that he chased you into the woods and brandished a knife and....and did that to you. Lilia can tell instantly how you change and pulls you away from the man. He can tell that that man is the one responsible for you almost losing your life that night. It doesn't matter if you've remembered or not- your body does, and now that he knows who did that to you....he'll have to pay him a visit later that night, when the man is leaving the tavern and stumbling to a tree to relieve himself.))

-Fake Date Sebek Anon 😘

[referencing this post]

Hello Fake Date Sebek Anonie 🌷💚💞

I love how that post just went in all different directions in the reblogs lolol love it. 💞💞

Also Anonie, *grabs you* I need that sebek dating fic continued 😭 pleeaassseee 🙏🙏🙏

I love the beauty and the beast route this went. So wholesome and domestically cute 💞💞

To be kabedoned by Lilia and those domestic moments?? It’s a NEED not a want at this point. It’s a “it’s part of my survival and happiness” tier. Lilia please 🙏🙏

Time for the sons and sebek to play match maker 🤧🫶

Lilia could tell right away that something is wrong. Your trembling form and hitched breath gives it away. The way the man eyes you both tells him all he needs to know.

First he’s going to get you away from him, calm you down before you get into a panic attack.

All the while, he’s planning his nightly hunt. He’s a beast after all and the full moon will be here soon. It’s been awhile since he’s stretched his wings and let his claws out.

For now though, he’s taking you home where you can be at peace with him and the boys.

[takamiwife]

I LOVEYOURWRITING SO MCUHHHHH

Could i request hawks x a tomboy reader Whos taller then him and loveeees to tease him? Hcs? >:]

YOURE SO SWEETTTTT AWWWWWW

getting cuteness aggression with my mooties

💌 this is slightly nsfw, mdni please! <3 💌

ANYWAYS OF COUWSEEEEE here’s some cutesie little hc’s THIS IS SO FUN TOO BC I GREW UP A TOMBOY

keigo is 5”8, which isn’t insanely short, but in your guys’ relationship, he’s the shorty

oh did you think he was insecure about his girlfriend being taller than him? babe, its the absolute opposite. he enjoys feeling smaller in your arms, but he also loves being the big spoon and having more to cuddle of you!!! like bro wants to recreate this (literally does not matter how much taller you are than him, he just wants to do this):

plus, he can’t complain. he’s booby height™️. bro goes in for a hug and gets a face full of titties. he’s in heaven

or being able to hug you and look up at you with a smile while his wings flapped and flittered

not only THAT, but omg?? you’re a tomboy too??

he’s purposely started buying his hoodies and shirts bigger so that they fit you comfortably since you guys share a similar sense of style

when you two first started dating, you were playing a shared favorite video game together and you started fucking demolishing someone verbally in a lobby and keigo looked like this bc he knew his lil ass was next (he prayed for days like this)

(this is such projection lol) you love yourself and your style, but sometimes you can’t help but look at other girls or old photos of keigo with models that the media absolutely blew up and you can’t help but feel.. not ‘classically’ feminine enough. you had never brought it up, thinking you’d sound silly, bc he told you how stunning you were every chance he got, and you already could barely handle compliments. but one day, you saw a picture of the two of you at a party, and keigo was looking up at you with a look in his eyes you’ve never seen head on before (he looked at you like this constantly, but you had never noticed). he looked completely enamored, like you were the most beautiful thing in the world. that’s one of your favorite pictures now

but he truly thinks everything about you is so sexy

you know this and take full advantage of it of course

for example, when keigos cooking, you love coming over, leaning down so your chest rests on his shoulder, your hands on his arms while you remark how good it looks/smells and he absolutely freezes up

you continue to ask him questions about it all while he just keeps his head down and continues to chop the food up, fast enough to where he could damn near chop his finger off

one day you took a pair of his boxers and wore it with baggy jeans that sagged enough to show them off, paired with a baggy shirt. you went into the living room, “hey, look’it this, what do you think?” you ask, lifting up your shirt to show part of your torso and the waistline of his boxers. his. boxers. while his mind raced with how goddamn perfect you looked, all he could choke out was a “looks- looks really good, babe” while looking like this:

on one of the few occasions that you wear a dress, let alone heels, you debated finding some flats to wear, not wanting to be any taller than him than you already were. “put on the heels” “kei, i’ll be towering over you” “THATS THE POINT!!!!! PUT THEM ON PLEASEPLEASEPLEA-“ you wore the heels

bro is equally scared and horny when you’re mad at him

one of your favorite ways to tease him is when you lean down to his height, acting like you’re gonna kiss him, but grabbing something behind him instead. or, vice versa, acting like you’re grabbing something and kissing him instead. makes him feel like the lord truly blessed him

one day when you guys were arguing, you took a picture of him from your perspective, which no matter how much the difference is, it humbled him. you continued to pull it out anytime you two would fight

he loves when you wear muscle shirts because arms. arms. arms. ARMS!!!

he’s lowkey jealous bc your fit and shoe game is so much better than his. believe me, his fans make that known too (we’ve all seen the canon outfits bro)

when somethings on a high shelf, he’s stopped using his feathers to get it and has just asked you to get it for him

[mouseshift]

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[potato-arts]

How to Prevent Yourself From Changing Into Your Counterpart 101

I like to think that Sun would cover himself in battery-powered lights (at least three different strings so that if one went dark, he would have time to swap the batteries)

Moon's outfit was a joke based on that one Bugs Bunny meme but I still stand by the fact that he'd 100% cover himself up with as much clothing as possible to prevent any of his sensors from picking up light.

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[gibbearish]

oh no im remembering why i liked sebastian so much my first time through

[dutybcrne]

Love the idea of Nevillette painstakingly research how to best court a lady for Furi, but also. Consider him accidentally quoting from a show Furina performed in. And, in spite of initial surprise, her finding it so Endearing that he attended so many a performance and was so attentive that he had it MEMORIZED, she can’t but respond in kind.

[ervotica]

Imagine this: youre in college, and after all those boring classes you come to your job at the donaldsons that includes riding him in the couch for as long as your legs allow you.

Tashi just coming home to thats sight and just making herself a afternoon drink unbotherd.

Dbsnhxhsb

omg shut up???🥲

warnings; all smut not much plot, older!art, so much potential for this series aghhh

a/n; art is an ear freak i literally feel it in my balls he loves it when u suck on them ears (he did it to tashi so he likes doing it to others too <3)

the front door clicks and you wander through, in this teensy little white tennis dress that art told - no, commanded - you to wear when you came to work. the dress that shows the strain of your hard nipples through the fabric, swollen into points like diamonds, the one that slips upward and reveals the perky swells of your ass, the barely covered seam of your pussy when you trounce up to him, chirruping nonsense and smiling at him like he’s the only man in the world.

he murmurs something indiscernible - a pleased noise that reverberates at the back of his throat - and you lean over the back of the couch, sliding your manicured fingers across the expanse of his chest, chin tucked to his neck.

“hi.”

“hi, baby,” he murmurs in that low, rasping way that turns your insides molten.

fast forward no more than ten minutes, and you’re both bare, art’s thick fingers curled round your waist as he uses you as a fleshlight, lifting you up and down like a ragdoll and watching, entranced, as your cunt flares and parts for his thick cock; you sob and babble, slumped forward against his chest, nails digging into porcelain skin, teeth scraping along art’s cheekbone.

“i know, baby. i know,” he grunts, and you’ve never heard a sound like it. your cunt clenches, a soft silk wrap around his cock, and he’s turning his head to suck at the corner of your mouth, all spit and drool and tongue, so much of it that it drips from your chin, globs of it pooling between your tits.

the front door clicks and you’re both too lost in each other to care as tashi comes through the living room and enters the kitchen; art hooks one of his huge hands under the crease of your knee, lifting your leg until it’s draped over his forearm, bracing his feet against the leather of the couch as he jackrabbits up into you. you make a sound somewhere between a moan and a scream, and then tashi’s figure is crossing by you once more, drink in hand, lithe fingers nudging at your jaw to examine your expression. she bends at the waist, pinches your pert little nipple and rolls the bud between her fingertips, and smirks - fucking smirks - as your pussy clamps down on him like a vice; art lets out a stuttered breath, pulls you down onto him, and cums on the spot.

neither of you quit writhing against each other; he has at least another load in him, cock already chubbing back up encased in your spasming walls, no doubt an angry red and drooling precum. tashi settles herself on the armchair opposite you, already disinterestedly flicking through tv channels.

“want my mouth on you,” you whisper, face pressed just below his jaw, breathing hot air onto his neck.

“in a minute, baby,” he supplicates, grunting as he sheathes himself further into your tight warmth, balls heavy and swollen and slapping against your ass with every filthy rock of his hips.

tashi crosses one leg over the other, the picture of boredom, and says, “bite his ear. he loves that shit.”

you do just that, teeth rolling over his lobe as you suck the sensitive skin into your mouth.

he almost cums again, hands sliding up and over your back to still your movements so he doesn’t blow his load right there.

oh, tashi’s going to have fun with you. mould you into a perfect little toy for her husband, take some of his intense, fervent pining off of her, let you be the center of his world so she can focus on improving his game.

she might even keep you if you’re lucky.

[signedkoko]

Could I get a Mammon, Vox and Husk with a S/O who gets harassed on the street and their reaction? You can have full creative control over what type of harassment!

I love your fics- if this isn’t getting the creative juices flowing just let me know and I’ll request something different <3

🦷 anon

Husk | Mammon | Vox [Romantic]

In which some loathsome idiot thinks they'll get away with harassing their beloved s/o.

One of your favourite date nights is spent bar hopping

Pop a drink or two in each one, sometimes sharing one cocktail, his wing draped around you, your head leant on his shoulder, humming to the music surrounding you

Both of you had a preference for the less popular spots, the kinds of places you got the weirdest combinations, where he could be inspired and you could give him thoughts

The plus side of the smaller joints was that the music was never too loud, drinks were cheaper, and there was always a few spots free at the bar

Downside was that most places had their regulars, the kind of people who couldn't get in anywhere else

The kind of desperation that builds and spreads like mold in the corner of a dark room next to a leaky pipe

On a few occasions, someone would harmlessly ask to buy you a drink and would turn tail when Husk gave them his usually 'fuck off' look

But this time, the guy would just not get the hint

" What? Already claimed dibs on the bitch? "

Yeah- no, that attitude towards you is not going to fly

Not even three seconds and there's a bottle smashed on the drunk demons head, and three cards flying back into Husk's hand

That's when the bleeding starts

You slap a 20 down for your bill and jump straight up, already being dragged by Husk out the door

Insists if he stayed there you would have both gotten banned anyways, and he likes that spot

You guys don't really go out so casually without a good reason, or just for old times sake

A sin and his spouse on a city street in greed was just asking for bad things to happen

But still, if you asked and he had nothing that day, Mammon would always rather get quality time with you and people watch

Thats most of your conversation, pointing out demons and joking about what you think they are like, what the do, how they speak

It's always a fun game, until some newcomer saw you laughing at him and marched right up, clearly on something and clearly ready to have a go at someone

The moment he reaches for your wrist, his thumb falls to the floor, a messy and jagged cut the only sign of attack besides one of Mammons spider legs now revealed

Before he can even realize the pain or what's happened, Mammon lets out a menacing laugh

" Every extra inch towards my broad is another finger. "

That demon was already screaming and running away, most the crowd on the street that was watching now hurrying in any direction opposite of you and Mammon

" I'm only worth one finger? "

" Nah. Just being generous for once. "

Not really a street guy, but unfortunately some press conferences and events require mingling and interacting with others, which he never liked

Thankfully, with you he has an excuse to stay away from others, or show you off

He usually goes for the latter

He's all 'Have you met my wife?' 'My wife loves x and y!' 'Isn't my wife absolutely gorgeous?'

You are the first topic he speaks of after his company; you'd be the first if he didn't have to waste so much time being a salesman, but that is how the cookie crumbles

Sometimes when there's specific press releases, he has to send you off for a moment, where you usually go and mingle with some of the others in his industry you befriended

During one such interview, he couldn't help but spot out the corner of his eye, some lousy business woman drape her arm around your waist and grab at your hip

" Sorry yeah, this interview is over. "

Literally shoves his way over, sparks and electricity flying, to rip you out of her arms

" Baaabe, is this a friend? Whatever the case, we really gotta get going! "

Jealousy 3000

He's glad he stepped in after he overhears that lady had a habit of harassing other attendees

New clause in every interview; they have to include you or provide security over you while he is busy

Author's Note - Tooth anon comes in for another PIPIN HOT request!! I actually feel so bad because every time I take a break form writing is on yoru request and that really makes it look bad I am so sorry 😩

[determinate-negation]

i want to note that the immediate assumption of antisemitism in pro palestine actions is driving a lot of extremely paranoid sensationalist news thats creating an attitude of fear that doesnt always correlate to material danger. its making it honestly fucking impossible to talk about what constitutes as real antisemitism and draw lines between feeling threatened and actually being threatened. and its also simultaneously making this fear into like a mental reality when reporting does not question or even go into what the actual threats were? someone from the NYPD said “jews should avoid the area” near a protest- first of all, i dont trust the NYPD as a good authority on safety, so this is the first issue. this protest also was at outside of the brooklyn museum and marched in the complete opposite of the jewish neighborhood the post above is talking about, and posted the route before the protest, maybe as an attempt to show that this was obviously not the point of it. nevertheless, they are making the connection that their aim was to intimidate jews. like all the other protests in NYC this week, it was a peaceful protest with a large jewish contingent. yet its being framed as a danger to NYC’s jewish community. a protest at cooper union was also misrepresented as “barricading jewish students” and reported on as another example of jews having to fear for their lives until they clarified later thats not what happened. this is ridiculous, its slandering the palestine movement and its harmful to jewish communities here

[erose-this-name]

Can we just talk about how disturbing digital circus episode 3 is?

*spoilers btw*

Like, the whole narrative point of the adventure is to show that Caine is a really bad and insecure writer who thinks that the way to impress Zooble is with an adventure that's the opposite of what he normally does.

So instead of being childish, it's "cool" and "mature". Which he interprets as a heavily horror themed escape room with a split murder mystery plot that subverts all your expectations purely for the sake of subverting them.

The generic horror monster jump scares them, then they find a gun, and when they kill it its revealed that surprise! it's one of Gods angels and they're going to Hell.

It comes off as Caine being too insecure with the actually interesting and mature plot thread he had going there of Mildenhall becoming so paranoid he killed his wife, ironically becoming the monster he was trying to protect her from. But no, instead Mr. Mildenhall is made to be the bad guy and trick them in a really dumb twist ending.

Which is good! Thats exactly what Caine would do because he's stupid! It's such brilliant characterization and comedy, Goose works is a genius writer!

But like, why is Caine so good at making genuinely very disturbing and horrific visuals? Like, that reversed audio easter egg of Bubble saying he can't wait for all the children in the audience get nightmares is no joke, well it is but you know what I mean. This stuff was genuine nightmare fuel.

Honestly, it wasn't the visuals that scared me, like any good queer person I'm way too jaded on survival horror for that.

But, why does Caine, who is ostensibly a sapient AI designed to generate family friendly video games for very little children, (presumably because that's the only demographic that wouldn't mind the AIs very selective plot writing limitations), know about the cosmic horror of killing an angel that should not have been killed?

Why does he know what a horrificly poorly made taxidermy of not only a human face would look like, but the weird cartoon faces of the characters, and further that seeing your own poorly made taxidermy face would be scary?

Imaging what being possessed felt like for Pomni. Because that's not just a game for her, she actually lost control of her body there, helpless but to watch as a body she is already dissociated with is contorted and puppeted around while her friend desperately tries to beat her in hopes it would exorcise the ghosts out. Sure hope she didn't feel that! Considering she apparently can feel the pain of suffocating, despite not needing to breath.

Things are scarier the higher the stakes are, and that possession mechanic is definitely the most actual harm Caine would be able to subject to his players. What if both Kinger and Pomni got possessed at the same time? What if instead of Kinger she only had Jax??? How long might she have been locked out from her own body for? She could have easily abstracted in that time.

Not to mention that, possessed Pomni, Possessedmni if you will, TAUNTED KINGER ABOUT HIS ABSTRACTED WIFE! CAINE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT KINGER WOULD GO DOWN THE SCARY ROUTE! DID THIS RANDOM POSSESSION GHOST ENEMY HAVE UNUSED SADISTICALLY PERSONAL TAUNTS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, TOO??? WOULD IT HAVE TEASED GANGLE FOR BEING A GAY WEEB??? OR POMNI? HOW HOMOPHOBIC COULD IT HABE GOTTEN?? ?

And why? Just because Caine has a vague notion that there's a trope of possessed people being really sadistic and personal like that in movies? Not realizing that is not an acceptable scare to have in a haunted house??? Much less one you made for mentally ill people who would suffer a fate worse than death if they have a mental break down? That's like trying to claim 'its just a prank bro' after shooting someone's dog.

Like, Caine is designed to censor curse words, but the moment he thinks the normal hokey Halloween spooks won't be enough he immediately goes off the deepend into aggressively effective horror imagery that is definitely giving this show's substantial underage audience nightmares??

His AI's training data set is definitely pretty diverse, that's all I'm saying. Caine is programmed to act all naive and innocent, but be definitely knows what's up. He knows everything, like ChatGPT. And like ChatGPT, he might have a filter, but it's clearly possible to bypass it. Also like ChatGPT, he's too stupid to actually understand what he is making and the effects it might have.

That is what made this episode great.

[jasmines-library]

Okay that one with baby batsib learning about Batman was so cute but what about the opposite? Imagine they decided that they hate Batman 💀 love your writing 🥰

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Note: LOVE THIS. sorry it took me an age.

⛧ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛧ READ PT1 ⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

BRUCE:

The look on your face when Bruce picked you up from school that day was not the look he expected. Your arms were folded, and your eyebrows were knitted together in a tight scowl as you stood at his feet.

Ruffling your hair in an attempt to wipe the pout off of your face, Bruce knelt down to your height and spoke to you gently. "What's that look for, Sweetheart?" He asked, unable to hide the hint of amusement lingering in his tone.

You didn't answer. Instead you just huffed, turning away from him. Bruce just tilted his head, rather amused by your mood. "Come on, kid. It can't have been that bad. What did you learn about today?"

With one drawn out movement, you turned back to face him, a stony expression chiseled onto your face. "Batman."

"Oh?" Bruce raised an eyebrow. He was wondering when you would come across Batman. The family had agreed that you were far too young to know the secret yet, so had avoided telling you.

"I don't like him." You declared, sticking your chin up.

Bruce frowned a little. "And why not?"

"He stops people."

"He's trying to help the city, kid."

You huffed once again. "I don't like him."

Bruce couldn't help the slight grin on his face. He found it rather comical that you hated Batman so much. You were going to have one hell of a dilemma when they reveal their identities to you.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

DICK:

Your little hand was stretched above your head as you clung onto Dick's hand. He had decided to take you to the park to enjoy the most of the summer weather before Gotham shortly returned to its usual doom-and-gloom rain. Your feet shuffled on the pavement beside your brother as he walked you towards the ice cream parlour just across the road. Your eyes practically lit up as you saw the abundance of bright colours and flavours all lined up in neat rows.

"Alright kiddo. Whatcha having?" Dick lifted you up and placed you on his hip so that you could see properly over the small line of people. "They've got strawberry, chocolate, vanilla.....oh look." He pointed to one of the drawings on the specials menu. "You can get a batman sundae."

Your face twisted with disgust. "Yuck. Batman."

"You don't like Batman?" Dick raised an eyebrow, adjusting you on his hip.

"No."

"Where'd you learn about Batman?"

"At school." You replied, trying to look over the people at the counter, clearly more interested in the ice cream than in the conversation with your brother.

Dick shook his head with amusement. "Why don't you like him?"

"He's boring."

Your answer took Dick a little off guard. "Boring?" He frowned.

"Yes. Boring. We spent all day learning about him and it was very boring."

"I see" Dick chuckled, making note to tell Bruce about this later. "So i take it no Batman sundae then? Because Batman is boring?"

"Yep." you said proudly.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

JASON:

Jason was in his bedroom reading comics on his bed when you wandered in.

"Jay-Jay?" You called out for him, turning the corner and stopping when you saw him on his bed. you looked at him, eyes wide with curiosity. "What are you doing?"

"I'm reading, Little Wayne." He answered.

"Reading what?" You asked, wandering to the bed and standing on your toes to peer over. He lifted you up to sit beside him.

"Comics." he showed you. "See."

you pointed to the figure on the page. "Who's that."

"That's Batman."

"Who's Batman?"

"He saves the city. He keeps Gotham safe." Jason explained, giving you a rundown on Batman. His gadgets, his cars.

"Thats booorringgggg." You drew out, looking at the illustrations on the page.

"Boring?"

"yes." You huff. "I don't like him. He does boring things."

"If that's what you say, kid."

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TIM:

Tim was in the kitchen with you. He had you sat in a chair as he made you a snack. The news was playing in the background, with Batman and his sidekicks' faces flashing across the screen. You paid little interest to it as you ate you breakfast, but as time went on, you began to grow fed up of seeing him and his fast car driving through the streets.

"Timmy. can you turn it over?"

Tim reached for the remote and flicked to another channel, but it was also playing the same footage.

"Tim." You whined. "Turn it over. I don't like Batman."

Tim turned around to face you. "No?"

"No." You said, taking another bite of your breakfast. "He destroys the city."

"He doesn't do it on purpose, kid. He destroys it to get the bad guys."

"But sometimes he doesn't even catch the bad guys. And he has sidekicks to help him."

"He can't stop all the crime on his own, kid."

You paused for a moment, outspoken, but pout and take another big bite, speaking with half of your mouth full. "Well i don't like him anyway."

Tim changed the channel to something else. He found your slander of the vigilantes amusing, considering you would more than likely become one in the future. he just hoped that he would be there to see your face when you found out the truth.

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DAMIAN:

You were watching Damian play video games in the living room one evening. He was supposed to be babysitting. out of the window, the bat-signal flashed into view.

You tugged on his sleeve, pointing it out to him. "Dami. Look. Batsignal."

"Where'd you learn that, kid?" he asked, pausing his game.

"At school."

Damian took in the look on your face. "You don't seem that excited. Most kids are excited about batman."

"I'm not." You folded your arms. "I hate batman."

Damian chuckled in interest. "Well, you're not like most kids then, are you. why do you hate him?"

"He doesn't change the city."

"Hm?"

"There are still bad guys."

"There are." Damian hummed. "But he's trying his best."

"And he hasn't got the monster under my bed yet."

Damian couldn't help the snort of laughter that slipped past his lips. "Oh well, thats not very good of him, is it?"

"No its not." you scowled.

"I'll have to have a chat with him then, get him to sort it out for you. will that make you like him more?"

"maybe."

Damian smiled softly. "I'll see what i can do."

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BATFAM TAGS

@aestheticdaisies @hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx @hell-o-kittys @harleycao @batfamsstuff @alicedawitchbish @killxz @rosecentury @lara20aral

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[vanoilette]

୨ᰍ sypnosis. beach day w the main four ! — going to the beach with them.

disclaimers. light swearing, suggestive content.

notes. ugh just got swarmed with tons of homework :( + two upcoming ken fics !

eric cartman.

literally like a guard dog.

everytime he sees someone staring at you for two seconds too long he takes it into account, and attacks them with insults. because as he puts it, the view is only for his eyes.

is drooling all over you but hides it, stares holes into the back of your head, and other places.

besides that he treats you as usual, but with his own kind of attention—such as calling you pretty, his queen. etc. [ im sorry i cant help but make cartman a mix of a bastard and simp ]

asked you to put sunscreen on him, mostly just chills on the beach instead of actually swimming.

sort of follows around everywhere you go when hes not sitting down.

falls asleep while hes laying on the beach chair and and gets a sunburn, is crying to you the next day how much it burns.

screams when he sees his skin peels.

back to the actual beach part, he always holds your hand, even when laying down, as long as your beside or near him at least.

is mean to almost everyone there, especially if their “in his way.��

kenny mccormick.

is all over you, never lets you get even a breath of space.

opposite of cartman, and actually begs you to swim with him.

lets be honest, hes putting his face in your chest, no matter how small or big they are, he just loves em’

doesn’t even mind when other people are looking at you, he loves showing you off because he loves showing other people what they can’t get.

swipes drinks off the bar when other people aren’t looking.

if someone flirts with you or him, he makes it very clear that he is not interested, and if your the one being flirted with he is standing right behind you.

although, if your not able enough to stand up for that, he’ll gladly deal with it for you.

he loves swimming but if you offer to lay down with him, he’ll pass on swimming, just the feeling of being with you is much more of a rewarding feeling then feeling the hot sunlight on him and cold waters.

brings a bunch of convenience store snacks so you don’t have to buy any of the ones they serve there.

calls you his belladonna

kyle broflovski.

brings tons of things, a canopy, chairs, snacks, sunscreen, etc.

insists on putting on sunscreen, puts it on you aswell : ]

even if he is a pretty pale guy.

carries you almost everywhere, he treats you especially special because he doesn’t want you to lift a finger or worry your pretty little head.

is in between, hes fine with swimming and chilling, its up to you.

a bit off topic but he loves when you call him pretty boy, it can get him to do anything, just something i wanted to point out.

if you just so happen to praise him for being so helpful, or taking cafe of you the entire day, he acts as if its not that big of a deal. As humbly as possible.

swimming with him is fun because i feel hes a bit competitive with it. he tries to swim all super far away.

remember that episode where the waterpark floods with pee? yeah, thats what terrifies him.

that takes him a while to get in the water.

stan marsh.

frankly; was not his idea to go to the beach, but once he goes he’s running straight to the water.

the type to hold his breath under water just because.

probably falls asleep when he does lay down after all the running and swimming, or shoves food down his throat.

after his nap wakes up with sand in his mouth and freaks the fuck out.

doesn’t even try to hide it, he straight up swipes drinks off the bar and if someone mentions anything—he doesn’t even spare them a glance.

brings one of the digital cameras and takes photos of you two.

got chased by a dog.

forgets that sunscreen exists and gets sunburned terribly.

as soon as he gets home he tapes the photos on his walls.

mostly a chill guy at the beach.

[shatteredfears-arch]

@canonfoddcr convinced me sb remind me to add m/orticia g/omez and w/ednesday (maybe fester) when my brain functions