#when i went through a really bad friendship breakup

[tending-the-hearth]

turtle angst au headcanon time: bayverse donnie and rottmnt mikey are the family therapists

bayverse donnie has gotten bored multiple times hiding out in the lair and has no less than two degrees from online universities, one of them being in psychology, and he's become one of the main confidants of the 2012 boys, purely because he's able to talk them through things

same with rottmnt mikey, because he's just able to give them the tough love they sometimes need so that their thought process doesn't get overly self-destructive

[bunnygirllover45]

— FLESH DIVINE.

♱ TRIGGER WARNINGS: Johann purposely weakens reader's body on this one, manipulation, Johann and the reader have an established friendship, reader has a crush on Johann?, suggestive kiss at the end ig. word count: almost 2k.

Johann was always meticulous, almost maniacally so. Maybe that was why he never got along with other people—he always had a way of pushing people away with his complicated nature. Always controlling, observing, and criticizing, a guy like him was hard to deal with, and you knew that very well.

Even though you managed to get through almost five years of friendship —a very rocky one at that— it still amazed you how someone who could seem so utterly unapproachable stuck by your side. Have you needed a shoulder to cry? Johann was there. Need a hand with your work? Johann is an expert on this, somehow.  Need someone to remind you when to take your meds? Oh, he had the days marked down in his calendar already. No way he could forget such important details, he was a meticulous man after all, remember?

Not that you weren’t reliable either, during his first breakup you were there. The memory was still fresh in your mind as you recall how utterly bored he looked as he told you about that girl you thought was his soulmate. Couldn’t help but wonder if he truly cared about any of the relationships he had before, or even if he cared about the ones he has now, but you held back from asking at the time. Johann really cares about you, if he didn’t then he wouldn’t go and take such measures to ensure you’re doing alright, or checking up on you, right?—the little bug gnawing at the back of your mind didn’t think the same.

He cares about you, he really does, right? Even when you’re this weak and unable to do anything for yourself, he doesn’t think you’re an annoyance.

“You’re spacing out again.” Johann’s deep voice pushed those thoughts away in a split second, the man stared at you, leaning in to tap with one finger against your forehead in a playful gesture that was a little strange taking into account he looked as expressionless as always. “You’re thinkin’ too much, gonna fry your brain into jelly if you keep doin’ that.” A small smile rose on the corners of his lips, black eyes staring at you with a little glint on them you couldn’t quite decipher. “I like you better when you don’t think.” The words made you shiver a little, ‘I like you— ’ and the rest was a blur inside your head. A part of you wished he genuinely meant that in another way, he liked you truly, entirely, not just a small part of you. “What’s that even supposed to mean?” You laughed a little, forcing a smile.”Last time you told me you ‘liked me better when I was sick’ should I be worried?” 

Johann’s eyes scanned your face for a second before he went back to pay attention to the stove; he was boiling some water to make you tea, Johann always made you some when he came home, you didn’t know why, he wasn’t even a fan of tea, but the gesture was sweet enough to make you forget how utterly weird it was the fact he only made one cup.

“Worried ‘bout what? I just said I like you when you’re sick because you’re more obedient. That’s it.” He turned to grab some cups from the cupboard as he spoke. “You’re less prone to pull out some bullshit and get hurt.” 

Your face twisted a little into disappointment, oh, so he meant that. With a deep sigh, you tapped your fingers against the table, head resting against the heel of your hand. His words really weren’t laced with any malice, he spoke with his usual soft and calm tone, so you knew he wasn’t jabbing at you or even really blaming you for anything, but it still hurt a little. Noticing your expression Johann quickly approached, leaning over the counter to pat your head, his hand lingering on top as he scratched a little, like you would do with a dog. “Hey, sorry, was I too harsh? Y’know I don’t mean it for real.” “I know, I do. But it just feels bad… I’m always depending on you and I— I’m starting to feel that I’m just a burden, you know.” Johann lifted his hand, the sudden movement making you stare back at him. Eyes widen a little as you notice how his hand is still hovering on top of your head, it was like his brain stopped midway, his black eyes pierced through you. “You’re not a burden. Not for me.” Your head fell downwards as you managed to speak again, fingers fidgeting against the edges of your clothes, Johann’s stare was like a nail digging onto your skin, it felt so fucking unyielding you just wanted to pull back, to get away from his eyes. Why is he even staring at you so intensely? You didn’t say anything that bad.

“Yet I’m still calling you each time I can’t get out of bed in the morning. I really don’t fucking know why my body is like this, I-I’ve been healthy all my life, and then all of the sudden—”

His hand shooted to grab at the sides of your face and tilt it upwards to stare back at him, his fingers weren’t harsh on your skin but you could still feel the lingering threat of his nails about to dig, veins around his forearms bulging with barely restrained rage, yet his face remained so calm. “You’re thinkin’ too much again.” He continued. “Will you just let me take of you? I don’t care if I need to get up the bad at fucking three in the morning to help you go to the bathroom, I will.” 

Your hand reached to grab his, trying to peel it away from your face, but Johann’s doesn’t even budge. “You’re not my family to have me as your responsibility, I’m really thankful, trust me, I am. But you’re my friend, and it’s not your job to take care of me when you’re always busy with college and—.” “I’ll quit college for you then.” What the fuck. Your eyes widen at his words, but he doesn’t look any less cold than a few seconds ago. “W-What…?” “You’re worried I’m wasting my time? I might be. I’m wasting my time by being away when I could be here with you.” 

You should be happy, really, he’s telling you something so sickly sweet yet the way his eyes never waver away from yours, the way he holds your face like he’s about to break you and yet still remains so gentle, the way he’s speaking so carefree about something that important— yes, you really can’t be happy. “What are you talking about? I don’t want you to do that. Hell, you worked so hard for this career!” “I worked hard for this, for us. My career? It’s just a fucking side hobby at this point when I want to distract my head for a little while.”

You didn’t even notice when he walked around the kitchen counter, now he stood there before you, crouched down to meet your eyes. His thumbs caressed your cheeks with a tenderness you never imagined a guy like Johann could have, the feeling helping your already confused and dizzy head become even dizzier. “You know. For the only thing my studies have helped me is to know where to start.” 

“Start—what?” 

A dark chuckle escaped his lips, it was rare to hear him laugh and it was even weirder to see him with such a delighted smile, if you squinted you could even see a small blush forming on his cheeks. His fingers kept caressing your face as he kept your head still, unable to make any movements, forcing you to stare. “Oh, don’t play coy. You said it yourself, your body was never like this, right?” “Feeling sick all of the sudden, being unable to walk sometimes due to your debilitating state, damn, sometimes when I look at you I wonder if you can even breathe for yourself. I would love to help if that isn’t the case.” 

Cold sweat began to form on the palms of the hands you clutched so tightly against his wrists, nails digging past the bandages and reaching to his skin, Johann didn’t even react to the stinging sensation, too lost on the heady feeling of excitement coursing through his veins. Leaning forward he pressed his body against yours, caging you against the chair. “That was me. All me. I even made sure you didn’t do any kind of physical activity to be extra sure you wouldn’t be able to handle it by yourself.” Bile rose inside your throat, what kind of fucked up person could say such things with that gleeful glint in their eyes? Was this the same Johann you knew all your life? Something felt so wrong, something with him was off this time, the hints were there but you were too blind to see.“And eventually like a flower, you bloomed into something beautiful and mine. Scheiße.”Your hands fell helplessly by your sides, you couldn’t even speak anymore, words long gone together with all the thoughts inside your head, the confusion and fear took a toll on you, and your weakened state made you unable to struggle, even if you wished to do so, your brain screaming to fucking kick him and run away. “You look pale, baby. Is your blood sugar running low? Here, let me help you.” Peeling his body away from just a second but not giving you enough room to even stand up Johann reached for something on the counter, you could some kind of paper being ripped, probably with his teeth or the free hand he didn’t hold against your shoulder, and then he went back to look at you again. “Here, say ‘aah’.” 

As you didn’t even make the attempt to move Johann frowned slightly. “Y’know I don’t want to be forceful with you, sometimes I’m afraid you might break if I do too much. But you don’t leave any other options, do you?” 

Next thing you know, Johann’s lips are against yours, tongue sliding with ease against yours, you could even feel his tongue piercing scraping against the roof of your mouth, he lets out a low amused sound like he was approving the taste of your lips. Being suddenly snapped out of your daze your hands reach to clutch against his shirt, clinging onto dear life as he devours you with eagerness. The kiss is unusually sweet, and you notice the small wrapper of the sugar you use for the tea empty on top of the counter. You close your eyes, embarrassed at how utterly disgusted you felt, not because of the sensations or the fact he was kissing you, but at how much you enjoyed it.

Once the two of you separated, you let out a breathy sigh of relief, and Johann wipes away your lips with his thumb, then his with the back of his hand. “There, much better now, right?”

You were right, Johann was truly a meticulous person. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

hey y'all, i pretty much know that i'm the asshole big time- but i'm not sure what to do about it. i know i need to shift my perspective, especially because i'm not sure what to do going forward... or how to meaningfully apologize, so I think i need some outside judgement.

AITA for wanting to possibly return to speaking terms with someone i cheated with?

about 1.5 years ago one of my best friends (i'll call him R, we're all 20 now) confessed to me while I had a bf- R said he knew i wasn't into him but asked me to kiss him once. i felt really bad and didn't feel anything for him, so i said yes and we briefly kissed. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal until I told my boyfriend right afterwards and he got really upset in a way i now see i was really understandable. i've come to see the situation as cheating, but I think fundamentally we had a different view of it at first. my bf asked me to not be alone with him anymore or talk to him outside of groupchats (i was in a friend group of 3 people, R me and another guy). I tried really hard to follow through on this but in reality- i just didn't want to cut off one of my best friends- there were times I went against my boyfriend's wishes and slowly I let up and saw him/talked alone more. I would tell my boyfriend about it and he would be hurt by it and I would feel horrible, but I didn't put up a hard boundary. I hated myself for it, but I didn't feel like R was actually a problem, rather that the problem was my lack of respect for my bf. A month or two later, all of us moved away to different colleges. After two months of long distance and continuing to talk to R on the phone sometimes, my boyfriend left me citing that as one of the reasons.

I realized I should have valued my bf more and I stopped talking to R (basically ghosted him), but he contacted me on another platform and asked if I was okay and I realized that he was a true friend in a lot of ways. When we hung out on winter break at home, we were chilling and he kind of made a joke asking me to sleep with him. I said no very loudly because I'm not into him like that and I was still hung up on my bf. Meanwhile, after 2 months of no contact, me and my bf had started to talk again very tentatively (i had tried really hard to instigate it which, sometimes i feel bad about not leaving him in his peace- but I was having a really hard time accepting the breakup). I realized there was something I really needed to do to show him I was serious and I sent R a text saying we couldn't be friends anymore citing some lame reasons and the whole 'sleep together' thing.

After that, R didn't contact me and I felt like it was sad, but kind of a blessing because I got to focus on building trust between my bf and I and we eventually got back together.

Anyways, in the past year, the relationship has been steadily getting more comfortable and I hadn't had any contact with R or cheated since (I kind of believe once a cheater always a cheater, so this is an accomplishment. I really don't want to hurt my bf like that again.)

Okay here's the sucky part though (as if the rest wasn't already sucky of me) i was posting tiktoks for the first time this week and, little did i know, the algorithm was showing them to people who had my number. I got a call from an unknown number and a text that said "can we talk." I realized from the chat history it was R, whose number i deleted. I didn't answer, but a part of me really wanted to.

I missed him and I felt bad for leaving the friendship the way it was, I was also really curious as to why he was contacting me now?? But I knew I needed to tell my bf before I did anything. He said he would feel more comfortable if I didn't respond and I kind of agreed- but I said I was going to think about it and that I would tell him explicitly before I did anything.

Then the next day I got another call from a random number with my hometown area code- I thought there was a possibility it was R and decided to just act in the moment and let fate decide- I answered and it was him. It was kind of scary, but also exciting and didn't feel wrong in my body. He was weirdly casual just saying hi and that he saw my tiktoks and missed me, we ended up talking like old friends- like the time that had passed had healed some of that old stuff. He told me i was the best friend he ever had, and I remembered all kind of good things about our friendship. I also was able to apologize for ghosting him- if not super well. I knew while we were talking that my bf was not going to be comfortable with this and that I was unsure about what to do going forward and I think R kind of knew that was the case too, so it was also very awkward. when we hung up, it was clear I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be his friend again.

When I told my bf as soon as i got off the phone, he was understandably very upset, even more so when I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep talking to R in the future. I feel really bad for hurting him, I was really mainly thinking about my own feelings. Now he and I are trying to resolve things, but I'm ashamed to say I don't know how I can make it better. I've told him that, even though it's not necessarily what I want, I'm willing to block R again, but I don't think it feels satisfying to either of us. my bf and I have been dating for 4 years now (with that break at 3 yrs) and he means so much to me, I don't want to bring us back to a place of distrust, but part of me feels like this was kind of pent up while I had R blocked. i've never ended a friendship with anyone before or blocked someone, so it all feels really weird to me, but I can imagine that my bf must feel really betrayed by my continued unsureness.

also R and my bf used to be friends for like 5 yrs- then R and I were close for 1 yr. my bf has said he felt left out by that and that he felt like R was a jerk to him while they were friends, so that's an element of it as well.

if you've read this far, thanks so much- advice? AITA? I've spent so much time feeling like scum for the way I handled the situation and while I have to love myself through it- I don't want to keep mishandling it- was answering the call all that bad, do I need to totally forget about talking to R?

What are these acronyms?

[fischyplier]

Misfits and Magic Season 2 Episode 2 "Magma and Mingle": My Thoughts and Analysis

So here are my thoughts on Evan and Sam. Am I the only one that doesn’t see their relationship progressing into romance? I can understand that in this season Brennan and Danielle are having more scenes together. At this point, Evan and Sam's relationship feels platonic to me, but who knows what could happen in the next few episodes. I prefer platonic relationships because they feel more interesting than just romance. Also want to take the time to say, I love and appreciate all the hard work that went into this and every season of D20. Thank you to the crew, the players and Aabria cause misfits and magic has become very near and dear to my heart!

Click below to read more, warning long post:

Anyways, Evan has gone through a LOT of traumatic experiences since childhood and continues to till this day. Evan's body is riddled with scars, broken bones that healed wonky, etc. He got stabbed on a bus at night trying to retrieve a talisman for Boodle 10 months ago. And I would not be surprised if he's been through more but hasn't had the opportunity to tell his friends or elected to say nothing. I can't help but to read too deeply into the quote "dream small". Is it cause I feel that Evan has learned to dream small in order to not get his hopes and expectations too high? Just a theory... A game theory! I'm sorry.

After 3 years of no contact the pilot project are back! But they haven't really had the time to sit down and catch up. In the video below, Sam says "I feel like there's a lot of things that when we talk you don't tell me." Which kinda leads me to believe, Evan doesn't want to worry his friends so he bottles up his feelings and doesn't open up. And when he does it's always with a smile and jokes to mask the hurt. He isn't just sad, he feels like a burden and tries to not take up space. I can really relate to this.

Even Brennan says Evan is in deep pain. The breakup he went through didn't help but there is more under the surface we as the audience still don't truly know. The experiences of being a lonely unhoused teen is the reason why Brennan chose "belonging" as Evan's ideal track. Because that is the one thing he's been deprived off, humans are social creatures and need to interact with others. What happens to a developing brain when that is taken away? When all you know is your shadow, loneliness and hunger? So when his friend says we can talk, he takes that as a serious invitation. Evan now surrounded by friends wants to do everything in his power to protect those he loves. He doesn't expect it to be reciprocal. You can see that when he says "if I've ever done a bad job about being here for you, I'm always here for you" after Sam says we can talk. When Brennan tears up with that incredible delivery of "I missed you"... I keep rewatching that part! Evan is always on the go, needs to be prepared, needs to be ready when shit hits the fan. Sam has created a safe place where he doesn't need to be hypervigilant and can relax, maybe open up and be a little vulnerable.

Sam is rightfully concerned that something deeper and terrible is going on with Evan.

When Evan continues kicking a half dead Salamander that isn't a threat to any of his friends, a darkness in him wants to kick it mercilessly for pure enjoyment. That even his eyes turns black. The first thing Sam does when she sees this is to attempt to drench it in water like Jammer did. Cause she said that this has become "unnecessarily dark" and that "this is freaking her out". That she'll even resort to spitting on the creature if it means that Evan will stop kicking that crap out of it. The water cools and stops the creature. Sam is a great friend that sees Evan do something twisted and wants to help so desperately. You do not have to be falling in love with someone to do the right thing! I still think they should just be friends.

I love that in this season we can really see their friendship blossom and not just be surface level chit chat. As they get closer hopefully they can help each other in ways they really need. In the preview for the next episode Evan says, "I don't see you the way you are afraid people see you." Sometimes it takes someone outside of your point of view to see aspects of yourself you are too close to see. And I think that's beautiful.

That leads into my next point, no I don't think the progressing of their relationship means that romance is in the air. I can't remember where I read it but another person said it best, intimacy doesn't mean romance. You can get close to someone, be a shoulder to cry on and depend on without developing feelings. You can love and respect your friend and keep it at that level but develop on that intimacy of a great friendship. I feel like it made the most sense for these two to get closer in this season because they have more in common now. Before it was just the fact that they were students learning magic at Gowpenny and being NAMPS (non magical person or let's be serious MUGGLES!). But now Evan and Sam have both underwent break ups and that's something they can really connect on. I really hope they don't get together right after cause that sounds like a rebound and to me, story wise pretty boring. And in my honest opinion, jumping into another relationship right after being with K is a little too soon. Evan needs a friend not a lover, at least for the time being. He needs to keep his inner darkness and insecurities in check. That or a therapist.

Hopefully this doesn't age like milk, and if they do get together I guess I'm wrong! :3

Thank you if you read till the very end, here is a gif of Brennan giving you a thumbs up!

Why? Cause you are pretty cool!

Please consider liking or reblogging this post if you liked what you read. And I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode and if I should continue!

[mazeinthemiroh]

So I had an idea 💡 so I was thinking what would be ateez ot8 reactions ( separate ) to you being broken up with and all they can think about is how much better they could treat and how much happier you would be with them

best friend! ateez wishing they were dating you

genre: headcanons; hurt / comfort??, slight angst, a sprinkle of crack

word count: 1k

song rec: treat you better by shawn mendes

warnings: cursing, woosan are bold, iconic kings

please like and reblog if you enjoy! thank you for your support <3

hongjoong

hongjoong has to hold his tongue each time you tell him you have a partner

because he has a problem with it. and he doesn't realise at first why he had such a problem with it

until you come to him crying because of the horrible breakup you were currently going through

he let you cry on his chest and cuddled you close for the rest of the night

... yeah, this is the guy who supposedly 'doesn't like skinship'

and yet here he is, wanting nothing more than for you to stay in his arms, where he can keep you close and safe

and thus, his feelings are realised. and suddenly being jealous of all the guys you ever talked about started to make sense to him

seonghwa

seonghwa can't help but feel a little disheartened

seeing the people you end up with and how they always end in disaster, he feels bad for you, of course

but he can't help but feel you are missing out on a guy that has always treated you with love, respect, sincerity, kindness, and nothing less

*cough, cough* HIM *cough*

he will continue to comfort you and provide a listening ear as your... 'confidant'. but all he really wants to do is ask you to be with him instead, so that you'll know what it's really like to be in a good relationship. one that doesn't have an ending...

but he wants to choose an appropriate time to confess his feelings. so for now, he'll be there to dry your tears

yunho

yunho would literally take the complete piss out of your partners like he's so shameless

can and will laugh in your face when you whine about your relationship issues

because he knows they would all be solved if you go out with him

and he'll flirt with you and make jokes about you guys dating:

"you know, none of this would be an issue if you went out with me 👀" or "technically, we're on a date right now... as we speak... should we kiss?"

but you just take that as him being one of THOSE besties who just flirts for the sake of it

and he's giggling and laughing along but really he's dead-ass serious ☠

it's all fun and games ig??

yeosang

would focus more on your feelings than his own

he wants to comfort you and be a supportive friend; he's not going to let his feelings for you get the better of him when you're going through a relationship crisis or a bad breakup

and it doesn't really faze or hurt him at all. he's good at separating his feelings for you and being a comforting, good best friend

whether that's healthy or not is up for discussion!!

but unless you suddenly take a serious interest in him and make advances to him first, he's not going to go for it himself

because if he reads your signals wrong, he is at risk of ruining your friendship

and he would rather have at least one connection with you, rather than none at all

san

san is always there for you

especially when you have just broken up with your asshole partner that he hates so much anyway. he is there to cuddle you tight to his chest and comfort you, asking if you want him to beat your ex up, etc...

he's a great friend in this way. but he can't help but feel like he wants more

and so he hopes and wishes that you see his efforts. you appreciate his comfort and the way he's there for you whenever you need him - enough to not go out with anyone who isn't worth your time, but rather, go out with him

and he might just come out and say this because he can't bare to deal with another one of your heartbreaks

"this is where i want you to be," he'll say. "in my arms. every night. not just the nights you get dumped. you deserve so much better, baby. and i want to be the one to make that happen."

mingi

he literally loves you he loves you HE LOVVVESSS YOU

it's so obvious, come on guys

when mingi has a crush on somebody it's painfully obvious, it's actually hilarious

so you ignoring his adoring eyes and his attempts to make goofy jokes only to see your smile, and the way he buys you gifts and dotes on you and does anything for you ITS SO OBVIOUS

but yeah, stay blind ig?

he will flinch every time you mention your partner or your ex only because that pulls him right back into the reality that he is, in fact, not dating you currently

then he gets pouty but tries his best to hide his disappointment about the situation and fails lmao

wooyoung

will get frustrated. like, superrrr frustrated

because he has a massive phat crush on you BUT he has to hear about all the people you've dated and blah blah blah

ON TOP OF THAT!!!! he gives you advice on how to fix your relationships that pretty much inevitably fail anyway?? nope, he's defo losing it

for the longest time, he's always wanted to just ask you out himself. but there was never a good time. between you going out with people and recovering from break-ups, he never deemed it appropriate

but after what felt like the thousandth time of you crying about some asshole who had broken your heart, wooyoung had finally given in to his desires

"you're not going to waste any more energy on someone who doesn't care about you. instead, you're going to use it on me, your new boyfriend."

jongho

jongho is hilarious in this situation

because he's so subtly trying to make it clear that he likes you in his own... special way

he's not always sure how to go about it

to be fair, he's a very good supportive friend. he provides with the consolation and comfort you need when you come to him with relationship problems or are going through a breakup

but he also tries to use this as an opportunity to give you hints here and there

"you know... the love of your life might be closer than you think 👀"

"maybe your next partner is with us right now 👀 👀 👀"

".... but it's just me and you, jongho."

" 👀 isn't that interesting, y/n"

i literally can't take him seriously atp

ateez taglist: @a-wandering-stay, @xlovehwa, @yeosangsbiceps, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @hawaiian-angel, @chammak-challokys

[thoughtsonkm]

Tbh I'm a jikooker, but I find it incredibly difficult to fit a healthy long-term relationship into the same timeline as all of jimin's solo work. It's not the pronouns or taking one lyric very literally, its the entire thing, plus comments from him and his producers. To me, you'd have to do some serious olympic level mental gymnastics to make that make sense. I don't doubt that jikook have a special bond, I've definitely seen things between them that definitely look like sexual attraction to me and things that surpass friendship boundaries, but I can't in good faith say that they're together in some official long-term way if I actually listen to jimin and his work.

I've seen some jikookers think they broke up for a while, but I have to question if those people have ever been through a breakup because the little bit of distance/separation/awkwardness we did see from them during chapter 2 is nothing compared to the type of tension that would be there if a relationship that intimate and intertwined had separated, especially considering the dark feelings jimin was feeling. He wouldn't have been cutely commenting on jungkook's lives and jungkook wouldn't have been asking to hang-out or getting excited to see jimin in his comments.

Idk, I'm sure someone could twist everything a certain way and only take certain things at face-value and then make everything else abstract, etc. to make the case that they are together, but I don't really see it. You look at face-off, alone, and just his general dark feelings during Face, then look at the creation of Muse and how him and his producers said he couldn't relate to the love-dovey beginning songs, which is how they ended up making Who (despite the fact that jikookers try to distance him from the song since he doesn't have writing credits even though he sat in the recording room telling them what he wanted and saying it felt like reading his diary). I think jimin could have very well gone through a pretty awful breakup along with the inner turmoil he was going through post-covid, but I don't think it was with jungkook if he did. I still enjoy jikook's bond either way at the end of the day, but yeah I don't really get how anyone can take an honest look at jimin's work and his words and think he was in a long-term healthy love-of-his-life relationship during that time or into chapter 2.

Not trying to change your opinion or anything, honestly I don't really see it discussed much in jikooker spaces (besides bad-faith stuff like tkkers stirring up shit over pronouns in lyrics which is just dumb) and when it is, some jikookers are pretty pick-and-choose about what they deem to be true to jimin's feelings and what isn't. Which I get being nuanced, but sometimes it does feel like a "well this fits my beliefs so clearly this is true to jimin and this doesn't so it means nothing because he didn't write it" or whatever. I honestly get annoyed with the bad-faith arguers because it prevents being able to have actual discussions about some of this stuff in our little jikooker corner of tumblr. Like "he said her, he's clearly straight! he danced with a girl, straight!" stfu.

I personally think you'll never get any absolute truth from song lyrics because some of it is personal, some of it is cryptic, some of it is purely for the art and rhyme, some of it is from other people and so on and so on.

I'm in no way dismissing his story and what he conveyed in his albums but it being an indicator for what Jikook is or isn't (or that Jimin went through a breakup or period of not having a significant other), is not plausible to me especially when you compare it with everything that we saw happening with their relationship (or with Jimin) in those years.

Because at the end of the day the magic and ambiguity of lyrics is that in many ways some things are up for interpretation. Just as you think that those lyrics can't mean anything but a bad breakup and him not being in love at all, someone else will think of it as him being in love (muse) while making stylistic choices and him being in a bad place mentally (face) but with a hint of hope while also choosing to not rely on anyone around him for some time.

Points of views.

[bellewintersroe]

Sebastian Vettel x RBDesignEngineer Reader.

Set in 2013 during the GP, Jennifer is fresh out of uni and has made a name for herself within the F1 world. She joins Redbull-Renault as one of their engineer designers and easily fits into the team, forming friendships easily. Most of all, she captures the attention of three time world champion, Sebastian Vettel.

Part 2 - here the LINK to part 1. Warning: Jen’s bf is a controlling, toxic ASSHOLE, so mentions of abuse that may be triggering to some. Bf is a dick bcs the angst is fun to write- Seb takes an instant dislike to her bf because he just has a good eye for evil people 😈 let’s just say Sebastian slays her bday whilst her bf… is a flop.

Australia, Albert Park, March 17th. “-And I told them, you gotta look out for Sebastian’s tires, but nobody wanted to listen to me!” I explained, leaning over to speak directly into the drivers ear over the loud club music. Our first race in Australian with the RB9 went relatively good apart from a good teething issues. Teething issues that I did point out but the mechanics were happy with the tires that brought Sebastian down from pole to 3rd- still not a bad result.

“Next time, I am listening to you.” Seb slipped an arm over the back of the booth, behind me, the comment and smile he flashed me sending a rush of warmth through my chest. With Dutch courage I was able to chatter freely to Sebastian. “Well, I’m not really a mechanic.” I shrugged. “Hm?” He leaned in a little closer. My breath hitched, scanning over his face as the tipsy man leant against me slightly. “I just said, I’m not really a mechanic…” I gently spoke, eyes falling to the small gap between us. Feeling a little tense, my eyes roamed around the room, suddenly catching a glimpse of a tall, dark haired man ahead of me. The warmth that once spread through my chest was ignited into an uncomfortably hot fire. It raged deep inside of me, the sensations of panic, guilt, comfort all hitting me at once. It was my boyfriend. All the way from England. An odd sickness knocked me still, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. “Luke!” I borderline choked out, feeling Sebastian pull back slightly, eyeing up the figure with an awkwardly dirty expression. I cringed instantaneously.

“Who is that?” Sebastian questioned jusf as I was pushing myself out of the booth. “My boyfriend.” I was just as shocked, if not more than everybody else seemed to be. It wasn’t that I acted single around here, I just never told anybody about Luke, my anxieties and uncomfortable sensation that surrounded the topic was no exception in the current moment. “Hi!” I breathlessly walked over, halting in front of him. “What’re you not gonna give me a kiss? C’mere.” He pulled me, as I tripped forwards, feeling his lips on mine. The sensation felt foreign, it had been over 2 weeks since I’d last seen him, I hoped with the distance came separation- but Luke was insistent that if I took this job he would follow me. Yes- follow me.

“Oh, you’ve still got that shit on your lips.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as I stared at him, forcing a smile. It was weird, I felt nothing, nothing but a slight fear seeing the bottle of alcohol clutching in his left hand. I already had the breakup rehearsed so perfectly in my mind, ready for my next venture home. The same breakup I’d attempted four times over in a mere six months out of the eighteen we had spent together. “Sorry.” I awkwardly spoke, not loud enough so he could hear me. When he turned to the rest of my friends sat around I felt a pang in my chest knowing what he was expecting.

“This is Luke, um, here’s Christian- you know Christian, Molly, James, oh there’s Manny, that there is Sebastian-”

“Yeah, I know who Sebastian is, hun.” Luke nudged me off as a joke as I now sat across from where I previously was, unable to meet anybody’s eye. “Oh, you never mentioned a boyfriend, Jen!!” James exclaimed. “Oh, you didn’t?” There came that passive aggressive laugh from Luke’s clenched jaw. I mentally swore as James’ word. I knew he didn’t mean it to sound so bad, but I just knew there’d be an argument later that night. Across from me, I watched Sebastian’s eyes narrow towards the man before he seemed to shake it off and sip from his own drink. It was only a brief glance, sparingly looking at Luke. Maybe I was just being dramatic, but he didn’t seem too happy. And when he looked at me, he just looked purely confused. That’s pretty how much it went for the rest of the evening, Luke’s anger was becoming more and more noticeable until we got inside the hotel room. To our left, was Sebastian, and to our right was a poor Hannah, RedBull’s Senior Strategy Engineer.

I was silent when the bedroom door closed, Luke stumbled straight to the hallway, spinning around to me and spitting when the door was shut. “Yeah now you’re being so quiet, hardly happy to see me after three weeks, are you?” “I was just shocked.” I stumbled, placing my bag on the side. “It’s your birthday next week, why wouldn’t I be here?!” He snapped. “I said I was just shocked, that’s all.” I repeated, reaching over for my makeup wipes. “Don’t bother wearing all that shit on your lips next time, looks stupid anyway.”

“Luke!” I exclaimed in shock as he blew me off, stripping off his shirt and dropping himself into bed. “You and I both know why you’re wearing it.”

“Because I like it.” I defended, harshly ripping an wipe out of the packet. “I don’t… I know the other men do though.”

“Oh my god, don’t start this…” I felt borderline defeated already, standing like a lemon as I wanted to plead with the drunk to shut up. “Yeah, oh my god!” He shot back up out of bed, still jean classed. “You never fucking said how many men you were working with, now you’re dressing like this, acting like this! You don’t even tell them you have a fucking boyfriend!”

“Please be quiet, everybody’s next door-” “You think I give a fuck who’s next door?!” He hissed back as I sighed, hurrying to make my way to the bathroom. I locked myself in, feeling and hearing him slam on the door in response. I could hear the heaviness of his angered breathing from the other side of the wood. I hated when he got this intense and riled up, it struck a fear inside me then I figured it was just better to shut up rather than ignite his anger further.

“You’re the only one who gives a fuck, Jennifer! Nobody else! None of these people give a shit about you either! What, after three months you think they want to be friends with you?!” I felt complete and utter humiliation as he yelled away, I knew these hotel rooms weren’t soundproof, the thought of everybody knowing we were having a domestic after one night felt humiliating and damaging- never mind his words that hit a sensitive part deep inside of me. “A world champion, F1, fucking celebrity, wanting to be friends with you. You’re fucking kidding me, Jennifer. Get a fucking life!” That night I slept in the bathroom. It sounded absolutely pathetic, I know it was, but it was the reality of being with Luke. It’s like now he was back I felt this odd attachment to him, like without him I’d be lonely and he was my crutch to this whole world. Pathetic, again. I knew, but I couldn’t control it. I missed the separation I once had from him, and when my birthday rolled around the week after he was still there, this time, in a different country, Malaysia.

“Happy birthday! Happy, happy birthday, why didn’t you say it was your birthday?!” An all so familiar voice walked in through to where I was seated in front of my computers, I audibly gasped, feeling arms wrap around my front. It was Sebastian. “Oh!” My hands flew up to the warmth of his skin, his hands gentle as he gave me a light squeeze into his chest.

“I- thank you!” I laughed, feeling him glance over my side to give me the most adoring smile. “23?” “22. I accidentally told the camera guy the other day I was already 22.” I winced as he laughed, arm sliding off me. “No need to keep your birthday a secret though?!” Seb stood up straighter as I pushed my head phones off, gazing up to him with that fluttering feeling lingering in my chest. “I know… how did you know it was my birthday?”

“I know everything. You’ll be here until 4, right?” “5 tonight.” “Perfect.” “Why?” “Just perfect.” god knows what he meant, he was back and fourth all day, working out, chatting, checking out his car, tyres, eating, chatting some more, getting back to work and meetings. Eventually I’d wondered if nothing was to come at all from our brief conversation, it wasn’t like I expected anything, but I was just confused.

“Your boyfriend treat you to anything nice?” Hannah perked a brow, offering me an oddly knowing look. I knew she’d heard our argument back in Australia, I could tell by the way she’d look at me the next morning, ask if I was okay- I didn’t continue any further discussion about it with her.

“Yeah!” I took a deep inhale, pushing one headphone off. “Yeah.” I responded again, gathering my thoughts. Correction- lies. “What’s he got?” She responded as I awkwardly laughed, letting out a gentle exhale through my nose.

“He’s not given me it yet.” I defended, biting down on my lip and returning my attention back to my computer. My teeth were gritted together and my leg began to bounce uncomfortably from under the desk.

“He’s not got you anything has he?” She honestly spoke as I cleared my throat. “No.” The urge to get upset was creeping up on me.

“What? Did you say your boyfriends got you nothing?” This time, an Australian accent approached, Mark Webber was there, brows furrowed. “Ah- not yet.” I forced a laugh. “Well it’s a good thing we’re all-”

“Happy birthday to you…” Oh my god… “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Jeeeeeen, happy birthday to you!” I gasped in complete and utter ecstasy seeing everybody gathering, singing happy birthday. At either side of the cake stood Christian and Sebastian (of course) with a huge 22 in pink fondant spread across the cake. My heart swelled and lips immediately lifted, I almost felt tears fill my eyes as I perched on the edge of my seat, blowing out the 22 candles lit across the cake. Nobody had ever done anything like that for me before, ever… and the mastermind behind it all?? Sebastian Vettel.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, for today!” I practically threw my arms around the German man. He audibly giggled into my embrace, leaning down to kiss my cheek as I laughed, slightly tipsy from the few glasses of champagne I’d been fed. Christian told me to ‘fuck off work’ and the lot of them all enjoyed a few drinks with me. “You deserve a good birthday, everybody does, no?”

“I know but… I just didn’t expect it today, I appreciate it, thank you.”

“I would’ve gotten you a present if I knew sooner, but… hopefully your boyfriend treats you with something good.” He honestly spoke as I felt my heart pang. A sad kinda laugh escaped my lips as Sebastian cocked his head to the side with a confused expression.

“What’s funny?” “Nothing, really, just… I don’t think anything can top all that today, thank you again.” I smiled as he nodded back to me, lips stretched. He reached out, rubbing my upper back before we headed back to our rooms.

“Oh and Jen?” “Yeah?” “If he shouts at you on your birthday, I’ll come barging in…”

[sjsmith56]

Setback

Summary: The rescue of some hostages is complicated by the fact that one of them is the husband of Bucky’s ex-girlfriend; a woman he still hasn’t fully let go of.

Length: 4.5 K

Characters: Bucky, Sam, Fury, Thor, Peter Parker, named OFC, named OMC.

Warnings: Bucky’s PTSD, self-blame, memories of sad times.

Author notes: Not a Bucky happy ever after ending but he does experience some personal growth.

The video that Friday showed on the view screens had been verified as real; a school bus full of children on an outing with their teacher and the principal of their school had been hijacked. Although no one had yet claimed responsibility and there was no ransom demand, the perpetrators had sent it to a local TV station with the ominous message that the lives of everyone on that bus was in jeopardy unless the soon to be released demands were met.

“27 children were on that bus,” said Fury. “Their teacher and their principal were the only adults going with them. It was a field trip to an environmental centre where they were to spend the day learning about pond biology.”

“Has their location been determined?” asked Bucky.

Fury shook his head. “Friday is still working on that. The GPS unit on the school bus was ripped out at the point of interception and left on the side of the road. Overflights of the area have not picked up any sign of them and it is believed the bus may either be indoors or underground. Still, I would like everyone on this mission to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. I will keep you updated as we learn more.”

Everyone stood up and began to file out of the briefing room then Bucky was asked to stay behind. He nodded to Sam and approached Fury who sat on the edge of a table at the front of the room.

“Am I on this mission?” he asked.

“You are,” replied Fury, “but there is something you should know first.” He used a remote control to bring up a yearbook picture of the teacher, Travis Dean, an ordinary looking man wearing glasses. “You know this man?”

“No, should I?”

“He’s the husband of Laurie Black.”

Immediately, Bucky’s memories were taken back to two years ago when his relationship with Laurie ended. It hadn’t been anything she did; it was all Bucky who was behind the breakup. During a low point in his emotions, he had convinced himself that she deserved better and proceeded to treat her cruelly, convincing her that he didn’t love her, didn’t need her love or even her friendship. In previous occurrences she had persevered with him, helping him through the destructive emotions but this time he really went overboard. This time, she got the hint and within hours left him for good. As bad as his emotions had been, when he realized she wasn’t coming back he sank even deeper into a depression, immersing himself into weeks of isolation and moping.

“Is she aware of the hijacking?” he asked.

“She is,” answered Fury. “She’s on her way here and wants to see you.”

As much as he didn’t want to, Bucky knew that Fury only told him as a courtesy. She was a private citizen with a stake in the mission. To not see her wasn’t an option.

“Let me know when she arrives,” said Bucky. “I’m going to get ready.”

Sam glanced at Bucky when he entered the locker room, wanting to ask why Fury wanted to speak with the man, but his friend beat him to it.

“The teacher is married to Laurie Black,” he said, in a low voice. “She’s on her way here before we head out.”

“What do you think she wants?” asked Sam.

Bucky didn’t answer because he honestly didn’t know. Their relationship had been good when he was in a good frame of mind. They supported each other, laughed, loved, and enjoyed being together. It was when he was in low spirits that the problems occurred. Laurie was always supportive, giving him space but also encouraging him to fight the demons still within him. Until the last time, when Bucky went too far. He winced as he remembered the last words he said to her.

“Could you stop smothering me for one goddamn minute? Why do you always think I need to be fixed, huh? Why don’t you stick to fixing yourself and leave me alone?”

The look on her face would always stay with him, as her eyes welled up with tears, then she turned away from him and left. Sam had given him a look that said he should go after Laurie but in the mood he was in, Bucky wasn’t about to admit he had gone too far. Instead, he left for the roof, wanting to get away from everyone. When he finally came back down several hours later the others were in the common area. He walked in and no one would make eye contact with him, except Sam.

“Where’s Laurie?” asked Bucky.

“Gone.”

“What do you mean gone?” He began to panic. “Where is she?”

“She packed her bags, dropped off her resignation, ID, and Avengers issued phone and left.” Sam gave him an envelope. “This is for you.”

He looked at the letter in his hand, then returned to his quarters, finding nothing of her was left behind. Gingerly opening the letter, he read the brief message, then crumpled the paper in one hand before punching a hole in the wall.

That had sent him into a deep spiral of blaming himself for pushing her too far. He found Thor’s stash of Asgardian mead, becoming so drunk that Bruce had to knock him out with a drug cocktail that would take down an elephant. It took weeks before he was declared fit for duty.

“Do you want me there?” asked Sam.

Bucky shook his head. “No, I gotta do this alone.”

He went to the armoury and picked out his weapons, loading them into his locker on the quinjet. It was another hour before Laurie arrived, and Bucky was summoned to Fury’s office. He could see her head as she sat with her back to the glass wall. Fury watched him impassively as Bucky approached then stood up before he got to the door, meeting Bucky outside his office.

“You can speak inside. She just wants to see you then she’s leaving.”

With those words, Fury left, and Bucky entered, taking a chair near her. He noticed right away that she was quite pregnant; a development that made him take his breath in sharply.

“Hello Bucky,” said Laurie, not looking at him yet. “I guess this is a surprise to you.”

“When are you due?” he asked.

“Two months,” she answered, looking down at her hands as she crossed them on the mound of her stomach. “I wanted to apologize to you.”

“Laurie, no.” He shook his head and shifted his chair, so he was closer. “You have nothing to apologize for. I was wrong to expect you to take my shit like that. I was cruel to you, and I knew it. You were right to leave and right to call me out on my behaviour.”

She looked at him, taking in the familiar face; the thick dark hair framing his forehead, with that crease between his eyes. His lashes were still dark, his eyes still that beautiful blue grey shade that made her feel all sorts of things. The sharp cheekbones and defined jaw, with the chin dimple below his soft lips and white teeth were still attractive. The only change in him was the hint of grey in his chin stubble and the underlying sadness in his eyes.

“It just got to be too much,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t handle it anymore, Bucky. It hurt too much to hear you say those things to me.”

“I know and I’m so sorry I took my anger with myself out on you. It took a while before I felt up to it, but I did go for more therapy. I’m still in it.”

She nodded, then swallowed. “That’s good. I’m glad for you. I met Travis about a month after I left you. I was still a mess, still very lost and depressed. He was my friend for a long time before we realized that we had become more.” She patted her belly. “I got pregnant two months after we got married. We’re both excited for this baby so I want you to promise me that you’ll do all you can to bring Travis back to me.” Her voice caught as she pleaded with him. “I can’t … I can’t raise this baby by myself, Bucky. I need him. I need you to save him.”

It didn’t escape him that it could have been him who fathered Laurie’s baby. They had talked about it occasionally, as something to aim for in the future. He knew she wanted a family someday and the thoughts of them married, with her pregnant like this, of being present as his child entered the world, of growing old together with a family had been something to dream about.

That it would be another man making that dream a reality for Laurie would always be something he regretted. The thought of not doing all he could to save her husband never occurred to him. For a moment, he felt insulted that she needed to voice this then he watched as she roughly wiped her tears from her cheeks with her hands. Her eyes were reddened and swollen, making him recognize how afraid she actually was for Travis. She wasn’t insulting Bucky; rather she was asking for his help, as an Avenger, as her former lover, and as a man.

“I’ll bring him home to you,” he murmured. “I promise.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I know you’ll do your best.”

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” he asked, unsure of where she lived.

Laurie shook her head. “I took the train here, but I was just going to find a motel and wait there. I couldn’t wait at home.”

“Stay here,” he suggested. “You won’t be alone.” He looked up then and saw Fury outside the office. “Excuse me for a moment.”

Leaving, he closed the door behind him and stood in front of the director.

“We’ve got a location,” said Fury. “Wheel’s up in 5 minutes. Are you two alright?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. She’s afraid for him and wanted my promise to save him. I said she could wait here. Will you watch out for her?”

“Of course. You better get going.”

Quickly, Bucky returned to her and informed her they were ready to go. The only touch between them was him placing his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. With that as his goodbye, he hurried to the launch pad to board the quinjet. Sam was already in the pilot’s seat with Yelena as copilot. Everyone there nodded to him as he strode up the ramp, taking his place in one of the seats.

By the time they arrived, there had been some developments. The kidnappers had identified themselves and made their demands known. A domestic terrorist group, they wanted some of their own who had been arrested to be released by a certain time. They also demanded $10,000,000 in ransom, payable in Bitcoin, also by a certain time. The hostages would be released only when the payment had been verified. The final part of the demands was displayed, and a collective groan was heard on the quinjet. For every 10 minutes that went past the deadline, a child would be shot in front of their classmates, on a live video broadcast on the internet. The final victims would be the teacher and the principal, forced to watch the slaughter of the innocent lives placed in their care.

When they exited the quinjet the Avengers were met with a contingent of several different agencies; local police, FBI, and military. They wanted to attack the location as a combined force.

“You’ll force their hand,” said Sam. “They’ll start executing some of those kids right away. Are you willing to take that chance? Let us infiltrate the premises. We know what we’re doing.”

They were given one hour to accomplish the task before the highest-ranking officer on site took command. Sam did his best to get more time, but the message was clear. The Avengers would get their shot, then it would be everyone else’s turn. He could hear Fury’s voice in his comms piece to take the offer. As he and Joaquin took up their aerial positions and scanned the interior of the building with their specialized infra-red capabilities, Bucky led the others inside. Splitting up into two groups they followed directions given them by either of the two flyers.

“Hold on,” said Sam, suddenly, at the 15-minute mark. “Something’s going on. One of the adults fought back and ran in the opposite direction.  With the distraction, the other is leading most of the kids down an alternative route and they’re not being followed.  Joaquin, blow a hole in that side of the building and give them an exit route. Team Bravo, follow his directions to support them on their six.”

“How many kids are left, Sam?” asked Bucky, leading Team Alpha.

“Three, straight ahead at the end of the corridor you’re in,” he stated. “You need to hurry. They caught him and are laying a beating on the guy while keeping their guns on the kids.”

With Sam’s description of where the gunmen were located, Bucky sent Scott and Hope into the ventilation system, waiting for their signal that they were in the room. Their task was to protect the kids, enlarging their bodies enough to shield them from any firing. Bucky, Yelena, and Shaun positioned themselves at the door then Sam sent a small rocket into the corner of the roof away from the kids to distract the terrorists. Kicking the door down, the three of them made quick work of the five men inside.

“Hostages secure,” said Bucky as he approached the man on the ground who had been beaten. He wasn’t a big man or terribly muscular, but he had impressed Bucky with his bravery. “Need a medic, ASAP.”

Kneeling, he touched the man’s neck to confirm he was still alive. His eyes opened but he couldn’t focus, and he blinked his eyes several times. Even without his glasses, Bucky recognized him.

“The kids are safe?” he croaked.

“Yeah, they’re okay,” said Bucky, then he gently put his hand on him when the man tried to get up. “Don’t move. Let the medics check you out first. What’s your name?”

“Travis,” he murmured. “They took my glasses. Can’t see too well without them.”

This was the man who helped Laurie after Bucky chased her away and he had just saved most of the kids by putting up a fight. Bucky swallowed then patted him on the chest.

“You did good, Travis,” said Bucky. “You put yourself on the line for those kids. They’re alive because of you.”

The medics arrived and took over from Bucky, assessing Travis’ injuries. Several FBI agents came with them, taking the other children out. The other Avengers entered the space, confirming that all the other hostages were safe and being readied for evacuation.

“We’re just waiting on the teacher’s status,” said Sam, to their inquiries. “Then we’ll help him out to be evacuated.”

“No, he comes back with us,” interrupted Bucky. “His wife is waiting at the compound for him. They took his glasses. Can we find them for him?”

Sam looked at his partner, suddenly understanding who the beaten man was. “Yeah, we can go looking for them.”

He herded everyone out then followed them, leaving Bucky and the medics there. The latter seemed satisfied that Travis hadn’t sustained any serious injuries and gave their okay for him to sit up and stand. Bucky assured the medics the man was in safe hands, and they left. Pulling two chairs over, Bucky offered one to Travis then sat in the other.

“You’re an Avenger?” asked the other man. “What’s your name?”

“Bucky Barnes,” he replied, noticing Travis’ reaction. “You’re Laurie’s husband.”

“Yeah.” There was a long pause. “She came to see you, didn’t she?”

Bucky nodded, then remembered Travis couldn’t see much without his glasses. “Yeah, she did. She asked me to make sure you made it back safely. I promised her.”

Neither spoke for some time then Travis swallowed. “She was really hurting when I met her. By what she told me I figured it was a severe PTSD episode that made you say what you did to her. It took her a long time to get over it and forgive you. Are you better?”

“I am, thank you.” Bucky sighed. “She always came back when I did that to her. Guess I took it for granted that she would that time as well. When she didn’t come back, I didn’t handle it well and it took me a while to accept that I sent away the only woman who had put up with my shit. I’m glad she found you. She loves you very much. It was obvious.”

“She loved you, too. That’s why it took her so long to get over you.”

“Found them,” said Peter, as he walked in the door. “One lens is cracked but you should ….” He noticed the look each man gave him and wondered if he had interrupted something important. “Here, Mr. Dean. The kids all asked if you were okay. They said you and the principal tried your best to protect them.”

“Thanks,” said Travis, as he put his glasses on and noticed it was Spider-Man who handed them to him. “I’m surprised they didn’t keep you with them. They’re big fans of yours.”

Peter, whose mask was off, blushed. “I promised to come to your school one day. If that’s okay.”

“That’s great, thank you,” said Travis, standing up. He moved then held his side. “That hurts.”

“Take your time,” said Bucky. “We’ll get you to Laurie.”

With a nod, Travis began walking to the exit, followed by the two Avengers. Before he exited the building, Peter put his mask back on, still reluctant to show his face in public, even though they knew who he was. Together they came out to an onslaught of media people, shouting out Travis’ name. The principal and kids had already told them of how he fought against the terrorists, giving them the opportunity to get most of them away from harm, calling him a hero. He was reluctant to accept that title, gesturing to the others as the real heroes.

Bucky waited patiently, then Sam intervened saying that Travis’ wife was waiting at their compound for her husband, and they wanted to reunite the couple. Only then did they manage to pull away from the almost overwhelming attention. In the quinjet, Travis looked at everyone with a little bit of awe until Thor, who had led team Bravo looked right back at him.

“What is it you see when you look at us, Mr. Dean?”

“Heroes,” replied Travis. “All of you do this all the time, without hesitation.”

“You are also a hero,” said Thor. “You teach but, on this trip, you accepted the necessity of putting yourself in danger so that the children would be safe. There was no preparation or hesitation, it was instinctual, which means that you are as heroic as the world sees us.”

As he looked at the others, he saw the same sentiment expressed on their faces. When he looked at Bucky the latter bowed his head briefly to him then smiled.

“Thank you,” said Travis.

He said nothing after that, just sat with his hands clasped together as he leaned over and rested his arms on his knees. The others went back to talking amongst themselves, but Bucky watched the teacher, as the enormity of what happened to him began to manifest itself. It was a delayed reaction, and he noticed that Travis bit his lip and swallowed noticeably several times. The man was struggling. Bucky stood up, put his hand on Travis’ shoulder and gestured towards the back, where the cargo hold was. The other man looked fearfully at him for a moment, but the super soldier looked kindly at him.

“You can have some privacy back there,” he murmured, adjusting his voice so that only Travis heard him.

A look of relief crossed the man’s features, and he stood up, following Bucky. Sam watched, grimly smiling, knowing that Bucky was well tuned to when someone was on the edge. As the two men entered the tight space, Bucky gestured to a crate. He leaned against the wall.

“Even now, there are times I come back here to deal with the terror I still feel in my gut,” he said to the teacher.

“But, you do this all the time,” replied Travis, sitting. “Aren’t you used to it?”

The dark-haired super soldier shook his head. “No, I’ve never become used to it. It’s what I know and with my abilities, this job is what I’m good at, but I’m not used to it. It eats away at me and builds up to a point where I can lash out at people, like I did to Laurie. I was too macho then to talk to a professional or allow myself to cry the fear out. In my mind, suffering was normal until I lost the one person who I envisioned having a future with.”

“Laurie,” stated Travis. He gave out a tortured breath. “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. What the hell was I thinking? I mean, look at me. I’m not special like the rest of you but all I felt was the need to do something, anything, to get those kids out. When they started beating me, I thought I was going to die, and that I would never see Laurie again, or see our son grow up. I was so stupid.”

“Not stupid. Protective, and that’s something you’re going to need when that little boy is born. He’s going to need a father he can look up to, and trust to protect him and his mom. You’ve proven that today. But you are feeling the terror right now, aren’t you?” Travis nodded. “One of my coping strategies these days is to come back here and let it all out. I cry like a baby and let all that negative emotion flow out of me like a river. I leave it behind. That’s what you have to do right now. When you get back, talk to a professional and don’t hold back. They’re trained to deal with it objectively.” He looked at his watch. “We have about an hour before we land. Use it.”

He turned to leave.

“Bucky?” The super soldier looked at Travis. “Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because you love her and make her happy in a way I couldn’t. She deserves happy.”

With a quick nod of his head, Bucky left the man to deal with the emotions he knew all too well. Travis came out of the cargo hold shortly before they landed, his eyes red but seeming calmer. As the ramp lowered, they could all see Laurie waiting with Fury for Travis to exit, so they let him off first, smiling as he wrapped his arms around his wife. He winced at her hugs but accepted her quick assessment of his health before they went up to the medical centre for a more intensive examination. Bucky hung back, standing next to Fury, as the others dispersed to drop off their weapons, shower, and change. They would have a debrief in a few hours.

“You, okay?” asked Fury.

“No.” Bucky’s answer was terse, and his look was anything but relaxed.

“Go see Dr. Hoyle,” suggested Fury, referring to their onsite psychologist, knowing that Bucky needed to speak to someone about this mission. “Just get the edge off.”

“Is that an order?”

“No, but I expect you to do it. She’s already waiting for you.”

With a sigh Bucky went straight there. The suggestion from Fury was more of an attempt to stave off an outburst or even a meltdown. Dr. Hoyle was in her outer office, speaking with the receptionist when Bucky arrived, still in his tactical suit. Leading him into her office, she sat in her chair, gesturing to him to sit. She didn’t say anything, waiting for him to initiate the conversation, finding it was better that way. After a good ten minutes of silence, Bucky leaned forward and rubbed his face.

“I have to amend my goals,” he said, quietly.

“Okay, which part?” she asked.

“Getting Laurie back is off the table. She moved on, got married, and is expecting her first child. Her husband is a good man. I might be many things, but I don’t interfere in someone’s marriage.”

“How do you feel about coming to that decision?”

He sat back, looking out the window at nothing in particular. Then he breathed out heavily through his nose.

“Like I’m back at square one.” He looked at her. “It’s hard. I first came to you because I wanted to be good enough for her but that’s not how it works, does it?” Hoyle’s face remained impassive. “I have to do it for myself, first.” He rubbed his face with his hands. “I just wish that it felt like I was making progress.”

“You think this is a setback?”

“Yeah, isn’t it?” She didn’t answer and he sighed, as she was obviously expecting him to figure it out on his own. “I guess part of me thought if I didn’t get her back then I deserved to be alone. By focusing on her I shut myself off to other possibilities, didn’t I?” Hoyle smiled kindly. “By letting her go I can finally move on and maybe make real progress. It still hurts.”

“Yeah, that’s the lousy part,” she smiled. Bucky’s cell phone beeped. “You can check that if you want.”

He looked at it. “She wants to say goodbye to me. That’s part of closure, isn’t it?” Hoyle nodded. “Are you alright if I go?”

“Sure,” she said. “I’ll see you for your regular session, alright?”

He nodded, leaving through the exit door. As he approached the lobby area, and the small crowd that had gathered to say goodbye to Laurie and Travis, he noticed how they held hands with each other. They were happy together, and for that he was glad. She noticed him first, smiling warmly at him. He shook hands with Travis, then looked fondly at Laurie.

“Take care of yourself and your family,” he said, sincerely. “I wish only the best for you.”

“Thank you, for everything,” she replied. “I hope you find happiness someday. You are a good man, Bucky. You deserve it.”

Their driver opened the back door of the vehicle, and the couple moved towards it. They both raised their hands in farewell then got inside. The others returned to the building as the vehicle drove away, but Bucky watched until he couldn’t see it anymore.

“Goodbye,” he whispered.

One Shots Masterlist

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[worfs-glorious-hair]

To change yesterday’s future (Gale x Tav)

❤️ Pairing(s): Gale x Tav/ Reader (+broken up divorced God!Gale and Tav)

🧡 Ratings/ Warnings: General (heartbreak, angst, post sneaky God!Gale ending, relationship breakup, angst with a possible happy ending)

💛 Words: 2.293

💚 Summary: What happens when Gale leaves Tav behind to reforge the crown without any word of warning or care after what was supposed to be their biggest victory and start of a new life?

Well, time still passes and life goes on, despite the heartbreak, despite the pain.

But not for the ghost of Tav that still waits at the docks, where he left them behind. The ghost that will wait forever for Gale to turn around and come back home to them. The ghost that will remain by the docks in the rubble and smoke of the city they saved and still lost everything that day no matter how much time will pass. But what if there was a way to get him back, what if the ghost of Tav could change their yesterday’s future? And all they had to be willing to do for it was to take every step of the journey a second time, be stripped of their bonds of friendship and love, powers and equipment and wake up back in the hells of the nautiloid. All alone and scared.

I’ll do it all, please, I’ll do anything to get him back, oh please, I’ll do it all thrice if I have to!

💙 POV: Third person, Tav (they/them)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To change yesterday’s future

‘This is wrong, this is all so wrong! This should not be like this! This was never supposed to happen!’, a deep, carnal pain, one Tav has never felt before, rippled through them as they watched him leave into the sunset. Leaving the two of them behind.

His eyes determined and fixed on a much higher, a much more ambitious goal while they had not looked at Tav in these final moments, not really, he had not gazed at them with love and warmth that made his eyes shine and sparkle. It was as if their love had never existed, as if he was just leaving a friendly acquaintance behind to finally get back to what he was doing before he had stopped by for a chat.

Tav fell to their knees, the pain finally spilling out of them, it seeped through every cut and every bruise and every scar from battles past. And they cried. There was nothing else to do for them in this moment. The exhaustion from the battle that lay behind them and that a part in them had not believed they would survive and the weeks that had bled into months of searching and fighting, of bargaining and travelling that lead to this day and the loss – it was everything and everywhere. It was what their soul was made from. It was all they could feel.

All they would ever feel from now on. There was no joy left in them, he had taken it all with him when he left without a warning, without so much of a word of love.

And Tav went to Avernus with Karlach so that she would live and never have to be lonely again. There was no other place left for them in all of the realms and planes, just at Karlach’s side. And far away from the city that they had saved only to be rewarded with their greatest loss for it, a price they had never thought they would have to pay.

But despite all the pain and all the grief they thought would be eternal, time went on.

And yet, the ghost of Tav remained on the docks, on their knees, staring after him, silently begging him to turn around, to come back to them.

Please! Please come back, I love you! I thought what we had meant something to you!

Because it means everything to me! Please, my love, this is all just a bad dream. It must be! We will wake up to sunlight and a slight breeze on our faces and we will be together again. We will have each other, we will hold each other close and be alive and together like we said we would. We will be human together! Just come back to me. Please!

But the ghost of Tav never woke up from their nightmare.

And he never turned back around.

And time still continued to go on like it uses to do. Despite our grief or heartbreak. No matter what we think is eternal.

And Tav, the real Tav, met him again when the “Heroes of High Hall” gathered to meet again in the wilderness, where their journey had began – a lifetime ago.

He had achieved what he had said he would, he had become a god!

He had turned himself into a twisted image of everything that was once good and warm and alive about him, that was gifted and magical. That was human. All of that was now forever gone.

And gone was also the mortal love they once shared and that Tav had thought to be invincible und fated to be.

The man Tav loved was gone, cursed to a fate worse than death that he claimed to be a blessing for him and the world.

It made Tav sick to the stomach but one look into these eyes with a void of light where once there had been warmth and curiosity and love and adoration was enough to know that he was gone. He had left to a place where Tav could not follow – and they would have followed him to the end of the worlds.

And Tav was finally able to move on, slowly, but surely. The sore wounds on their soul and torn apart heart started to close and heal and became scars.

Scars that told the story of their biggest loss and darkest day of their life that was supposed to be the happiest.

Scars that told them to move on, to heal, to rest. To let the pain rest, it was over now.

But the ghost of Tav that remained on the docks was still there, would always be there. No matter how much time would pass.

It would always be waiting, confused and heartbroken. The ghost could never heal.

It would always wait at the docks for him to come back. It would never be over for it.

‘Do you want him back?’, a voice like a bell found the ghost one day while the city was re-build around it while it still saw the ruins and the smoke and the dusty sunset over the battle-ridden landscape.

‘I can make that happen, just say the word and you can change the future that is your yesterday…’, the voice continued.

The ghost turned towards the voice, face smudged with tears and grime and dried blood from the battle that lay behind it.

And a fey creature appeared, a tiny glittering lilac body with wings like raindrops that shone like rainbows with each flutter and a periwinkle head with glowing curls of pearly white.

‘Dolly Dolly Dolly said that I should look out for you – here I am, looking out and right at you! You look awful! Hideous even…’ they said.

The ghost of Tav just looked at the pixie, feeling something rise within it – something warm and promising.

‘So, do you want to change the world? Do you want to go back and change the future. Do you want him back?’

‘Oh can you do that, can you bring him back to me?’, the ghost asked with a voice full of the desperate hope of a dream you know cannot come true. And yet you can not not hope. Not if this is everything you ever wanted.

‘No, I won’t do that. But you can…’

‘I’ll do anything, please, just tell me how. I just want him back’, the ghost cried out and new tears came flooding in.

‘Do it all over and he can be yours forever. But you would have to start at the beginning, there is no shortcut to your happily ever after. You would have to wake up on board the nautiloid again, freshly infected with the tadpole and scared for your life, all alone and powerless. You would be stripped of all of the powers, advantages, belongings and experiences you possess today and without the friends and their trust in you at your side that you now rely on and love so dearly. You would be back in this rotting hell of a mind flayer ship and your future would be uncertain. You would forget that you had done this before, that you had fought and conquered the cult that had kidnapped you and had tried to enslave the whole world. And from there would your fate lay in your hands all over again, I won’t help you out then. You will need to find your friends and allies again on your own – and your love.

And then, if you are willing, do you have to take every step you took on this journey to come to this day a second time.

If you are willing to face each foe you have already slain and perhaps some more, again, if you are willing to fight the battles again that you have already won, with no promise you will win them this time, if you are willing to make the toughest decisions again that left you sleepless and desperate and if you are willing to face the curse and eventually the brain again and break both a second time, then you get the chance to change the future of your heart. Then can you free yourself from these docks and they will not haunt you anymore. Instead they will become the witness of your greatest victory!

Here you will get the chance to make your now lost lover stay with you – and let his tainted dreams of ambition rest deep in the river you now so despise. Here can you truly heal him as you heal yourself.

Are you willing to do that for your love?’

And the ghost remembered the joys and the sorrows of the journey that lay past it, every long and cold night, every exhausting battle and every tear it had silently cried in the dark. It remembered the fear and the dread and the shadows and the desperation. It remembered lost lives, lost loves. And so much regret.

The journey had been long and tedious and Tav had given it their all and had believed that it would have been enough, had believed that all of the sacrifices and everything they had failed to protect had a purpose, that everything was supposed to become a part of a bigger story, one they were supposed to live in to tell the tale.

They had believed that fate spun around as it should. That everything would turn out well in the end. But maybe it had just meant that this had always been waiting for them.

That there was no point from running from the inevitable.

And for a moment was the ghost tired. Tired at the thought of doing it all again, doing the scavenging and hunting again, building an arsenal of spells and weapons and potions again, growing knowledge and magic and power again — but seeing him again, finding him again, loving him again, getting him back, leaving this dock behind for good…

‘I’ll do it, I’ll do it all. Three times if I have to!’, the ghost said and the pixie shook their head slowly.

‘If you’re playing your cards well and if you take all the advantages you can find along your way and if let your devotion for him guide you, then you will succeed and you only have to go through this one more time…’, they said and the smile on their face could only be described as encouraging.

‘Shall I send you to the beginning of your future now? As soon as I do, there will be no way back and you will be on your own…’, the pixie asked, waiting, expecting the ghost’s confirmation.

‘I just want to get away from this place, I can still see his shadow in the distance. I will always see it. So please, take me back, I am ready!’

‘As you wish, babes, good luck!’

And in a blindingly white light that was laced with music, that was full, deep and promising adventures, was the ghost taken away.

The dock laid empty in the light of the setting sun and a city that was rebuilt to old glory.

Images and sounds and smells flashed up – There was a dog and there was an ocean of dark lilac flowers in a dark room, there was sizzling meat over a camp fire and friendly voices under stars. There was the warmth of wine and laughter in the cheeks, there was the clanking of armor and the smell of well-worn leather.

There was magic searing and exploding in the air – IGNIS!

Fire was being thrown, burning hot and bright – PERURĒ!

Lightning scorched down from the skies, final and merciless – TORMENTO!

Concentrated forces of magic singed through the air, each striking down one target…

And there were eyes, confident, warm, brown and beautiful –

‘Gale!’

It was a whisper, a breath, a thought on their tongue, while they were slipping in and out of consciousness. And when they slowly began to wake was there the only the fading memory of the most important name on their tongue, in their soul, even if it quickly slipped away from them what it was that had been so important. And it was important, they were sure of it! Whatever it was…

But for now was the world uncomfortable, tight and shaky and the head too heavy…

Important had to wait.

And soon were the images and the voices and the memories of another life fading into oblivion as Tav slowly but surely woke.

Their world continued to shake and was still so, so tight around them – until it was not anymore.

Gathering their strength to push themselves up and jump out of whatever they were trapped in, they groaned as they finally had the ground back under their feet.

“Ugh, my head!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And in our world, maybe not far away, was a heartbroken geek sitting in front of their screen surrounded by a pile of used and very wet tissues and an empty water bottle, sniffling and whining over their loss and lowly muttering to themselves as they hit New Game and the intro of the game popped up.

“I’ll get you back, you stupid idiot of a wizard, and if I have to drag you personally to Waterdeep when this is all over again, I’ll do that. You will not run away from me this time. And you will enjoy every minute of it. The hero gets the wizard in the end – and that’s a promise – and a threat!”

The intro was over and the character creator appeared and the geek sighed as they chose a very familiar face, hair and makeup.

“Here we go again, the love of Gale Dekarios’ life coming right up. A second time. Prepare yourself, wizard. Because I am not letting you slip away this time…”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I am glad you stayed with me for a while. As you might thought already is the whole OS just me saying with fancy words that I don’t have any save files from before the finale so if I want to get my Gale back and my happily ever after with him in Waterdeep I have to replay the whole game. I am currently in the middle of the act 2 finale, so my true final boss will appear soon – the crown™️

But this time will it not take him away from me!

[captainpulisic]

don't want to keep secrets just to keep you - m. mount

thank you so much for all the support in the last fic, it really meant a lot! :) gif credits to owner word count : 1.9 k

relationships can be tricky. they’re complicated enough on their own, but when one of them is a famous athlete, it’s ten times worse. it’s ten times more scrutinizing. mason was no stranger to this. he knew the struggle of trying to navigate a relationship while in the spotlight is what had caused his previous ones to end, most of the time anyway.

before, you’d had the privilege of watching each of these breakups from the sidelines. alongside the general public, you saw the invasive tabloid shots and the weekly cheating scandal headlines. unlike the general public, being masons friend gave you the inside scoop of how frustrating it was to have these flings blow up before they could turn into something serious. 

but now, after years of you both denying your feelings for each other, you were finally together. and mason was going to make sure this didn’t end up like his previous romances had, you were far too important for him to lose. you were special, permanent. home. thus, you made the mutual decision to keep it a secret from the world and even your friends. it was just the wisest choice while you both learned how to handle your relationship being a topic lots of people would have opinions on.

you two had always been attached at the hip, so no one grew suspicious when your allotted hang outs grew more frequent. you were both affectionate people, so no one raised an eyebrow when you had to be touching in some way. it was a known fact that you both had been hurt in past relationships so no one questioned why you both weren’t rushing to go on dates with other people. it was all perfectly normal.

it had been infuriating having to refrain from kissing each other silly in front of others. it had been annoying having to keep sneaking over to each other's houses, making sure no one saw- especially since mason always had some mates around at his place. worst of all, it had been tiresome having to keep up this ruse in front of your friends and everyone else (mason wanted the world to know he was the one guy lucky enough to call you his own. you wanted to shout from the roofs how much space mase took up in your heart- all of it). you felt horrible lying to your loved ones, but the guilt went down a smidge when you remembered why you were doing it. when you remembered how quick things went to shit in his past relationships.

you two were about to hit the seven month mark on your relationship- setting aside the previous 4 years of friendship and a “will they, won’ they?” debate amongst your friend group. you pondered about how nothing would really change if you let your friends in on the truth, if anything they’d be relieved you finally got together. it was the people outside of your circle that worried you. you knew you’d become the main discussion in sleazy gossip magazines and new rumors about the pair of you would roll out every day. no, you didn’t want to put each other through that. you’d do it when the time was right.

“do you ever feel bad lying to the boys?”

it had been a sunny morning in london, quite unusual and quite nice. having spent the night at masons, you both woke up still in your love bubble from the previous night. standing in the kitchen, you were in charge of mixing the blueberries into the pancake batter, while he was on ‘flipping them before they burn’ duty (and he was at a 75 percent success rate). 

“not really.” mason shrugged, “if i tell ben, he’ll tell conor, who’ll tell kai, who’ll tell christian, who’ll tell reece, and soon enough potter will be trying to give me dating advice. now that’s really the last thing I need. ”

you couldn’t help but laugh at that, carrying your pancake-stacked plates to the living room. after settling on which show to watch, you nestled into his side and began eating and conversing. the tv served as more of some background noise, while you basked in each others presence and caught up on life. between his training and your studies (and all then sneaking around), you’ve hardly had the time to just be together. 

“we should do something today, a boyfriend-girlfriend thing.” you mused. 

“a boyfriend-girlfriend thing?” 

“yeah do something a normal boyfriend and girlfriend would do. every time we try, we do it ‘as friends’ or invite someone else along with us. remember how every sunday afternoon we used to go to the park and eat ice cream and just talk?” 

“yeah because we were just friends, it was the only time we could really talk.” mason wondered aloud, “though it has been a while, why’d we stop doing that?”  

“because we got busy doing each other.”

he snorted at that, “we could go later but honestly, im proper tired and want to stay like this a bit longer.”

“see! we’ve gotten too lazy! we opt out of a ten minute walk to the park just to stay laid up on the sofa.”

“but it’s because you look so pretty like this, you have to understand that.” mason pouts, pulling you into his lap and resting his head on your shoulder. he’s not lying, he really does think you look the prettiest when you’ve just woken up and have the sunshine hitting your face. what a view, he thinks. he’s already pulling out his phone before his mind can process what he’s doing. he just has to add this moment into the ever growing collection of pictures he has of you.

he had planned to press a kiss to your cheek but you’d had the same idea. at the last second, with both of your heads turning and no communication, the picture ends up being a blurry selfie of kissing the corner of each others lips. 

“send it to me? please?” you aim for a kiss again, this time on his stubbled jaw. you think its the cutest photo. it perfectly encapsulates how blissfully happy you are in these mundane scenarios. 

“mhm.” mason begins to absentmindedly tap on his phone, too busy enjoying the trail of kisses you're leaving on his face. suddenly, you feel his fingers freeze on the screen and his body tense up.

“everything okay, love?” one last kiss is placed right under his ear.

“well I definitely sent it to you.” you notice his cheeks are now turning an alarming shade of red.

“mase?” he gives no answer, eyes still glued to the screen and fingers still hovering over it. you reach for your own phone that had been discarded on the coffee table. 

well shit shit shit. yeah, he had definitely sent it to you. and to ben and christian and kai and reece and thiago and conor and kepa and every other person in your 30 member group chat that had been made to plan a surprise birthday party a few weeks ago.

“mason mount! what the hell did you just do?” your body began to tense up just as he had.

“I don't know! I saw your name and just clicked on the chat. I didn’t know it was the bloody group one! this is all your fault!”

“mine?” this causes you to snap your eyes to him. the nerve of this man, you swear.

“yes, yours! this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been kissing me. you know what it does to me, you know i'm weak to your seductions.” he adds an accusatory finger point for good measure. 

before you can bite back, the photo on your screen captures your attention again. it’s all over, you mourn in your head. our peaceful little bubble has popped. 

now mason feels like absolute shit, watching you stare at the phone in your hands. as if you’re staring into the void, looking at the picture you can't unsend. he kisses your bare shoulder, “i’m sorry, baby. they might not even check the chat-”

“we all check our messages,” bens voice cuts through, as him and kai walk through the doorway. “baby.”

you hide your face in the crook of masons neck, too embarrassed to exchange pleasantries. you try to bury yourself deeper into his side when you hear their snickers grow louder and an abundance of kissing noises. 

“so we have some news for you guys.” mason sheepishly laughs.

“and we’re really, really sorry we didn’t tell anyone before.” you mumble from your self-exiled hiding spot.

“don’t be sorry, you just helped me win £200 from conor.” ben pats your arm as he takes a seat next to you guys. 

“you were betting on us?” mason scoffs.

“conor was betting against us?” you ask, incredulously. 

“no,” kai responds in a heartbeat. “he just thought it’d take another six months for mason to man up and finally tell you. you know, so we don’t have to hear him talk about how “amazing” you are the entirety of training.”

you turn your face to look at mason as kai does the finger quotes when he says “amazing”, who is now blushing harder than before. just because he tells everyone that you’re the best person he knows doesn’t mean you have to know, too. 

“yeah okay, don't flatter yourself.” he mumbles, squeezing your chin.

“I can't believe they know now.” you whisper-laugh at mason, not having gotten up from his lap through this all. “how am i supposed to act like i’m too cool for you when we all hang out?”

“oh, cmon!” ben snorts. “like we never notice how you disappear together at the end of every night.”

you and mason share a look. “we didn’t realize you’d all seen that.”

“yeah, well we’ve seen it all.” kai grimaces. “including what you did in the locker room last week.”

-

a week had come and gone, questions had been asked from all your friends. when and how this relationship had started, had been established. the sexual questions had been asked and answered with a “fuck off” from mason. as shy as you had been, you were ready to go out and hang out with everyone, as a couple. yes, you’d been doing that for the past few months but no one had really known. 

now it was okay for you two to be next to each other and touching at all times (as if you hadn’t done that already). now everyone knew you were sitting on his lap and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, not just as really good friends, but as a lovesick couple. now it was funny to flip everyone off when they had booed because you and mason had shared a brief kiss, once or twice or nine times. 

“will you get mad if I say that i’m happy we told them?”

“we?” you lightly hit his chest. “you and your horrible attention span told them.”

“and? you still love me, anyways.”

“I tolerate you at best, mount.”

one kiss to your cheek. another kiss to the other cheek. a kiss on your nose. one more on your chin. two kisses on your cheeks again. and by the time his lips met yours, you knew you’d like to spend forever like this. 

“don’t take this the wrong way, guys. we’re really happy for you but if you’re going to be like this all night, you’re not allowed to sit together anymore.”

[elllisaaa]

skz as olivia rodrigo songs - maknae line

-> pairing : skz maknae line x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.2k words

-> genre : angst, exes, toxic relationship, messy breakup

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | skz masterlist | 1k event masterlist

hyung line | maknae line

HAN JISUNG - TRAITOR

Honesty had always been a very important value to you, and you loved to believe that it was the same for Jisung. After all, he pinky promised you to always tell the truth, and neither of you would dare to break pinky promises right ? Well, you didn’t break it. You were always genuine with him, even when you weren’t proud of what you did, even when it was not enjoyable to speak the truth or to say certain things about him and you, about your relationship. 

And when life was not easy, he was there for you no matter what, and you were there for him when he needed you too. Because if you were together, nothing could hurt, nothing could turn bad. Except it did, and you felt the wound of betrayal so clearly, even now when you should be happy and smile, you couldn’t. 

You knew that Jisung would be at this party. Felix was his friend first, and even if you kept in touch with him even after the break-up, he couldn’t not invite one of his best friends, and you were fine with it. He had already filled so much part of your life with sadness, you didn’t want to let him invade every little thing you loved with his bad memories, and that included your friendship with Felix. 

No, you didn’t mind seeing your ex again. What was really hard though was that he didn’t come alone. Suddenly, it was becoming not so easy to ignore his presence in the same room you were in. Suddenly, you were overwhelmed by the many questions he never answered, the questions he used to avoid. Was she his new girlfriend ? Did he fall in love with her ? Since how long ?

It was even harder to believe that he could have moved on already, but even more, it felt so wrong. Because who could catch feelings so quickly ? Was it possible that your sweet Jisung had lied to you all along ? Was it possible that he played games with you ? Was it possible that all these rumors were true ? In the end, you were not sure of anything anymore : if he really loved you, if he was really honest with you. Nothing felt true anymore. 

Yet, so many people had told you that he was acting suspicious by the time he ended your relationship, that he was often seen with the very girl he was holding the waist of in front of your eyes right now. But still, you couldn’t believe it. No. No way that Jisung cheated on you. But still, a little doubt was floating in the back of your mind and you needed to ease it. 

“- It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you…”

Jisung turned around immediately at your familiar voice, a shy smile spreading on his lips as he nodded his head.

“- Yeah, I know… I’ve been quite busy, work and all of that, you know ?

- And your girlfriend too I guess.”

His smile fell from his lips, clearly understanding where all of this was leading and what you wanted.

“- Huh… Yes, a little bit.”

You wanted to stay strong, wanted to be confident and appear like that. Because you had already cried too much, already spared him too much time and tears. But your next sentence was far from confident, your voice shaking as you tried not to look away from him.

“- She’s the reason we broke up right ? You can tell me, I’m not blind Jisung. I see the way you look at her. You’ve never looked at me like that. I just wished you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.

- I’m sorry, I really am… It just kind of happened before I knew it…”

He genuinely seemed sorry, but it wasn’t enough for you not to be angry, not to feel like you’ve been betrayed all over again. 

“- You cheated ?

- No ! Never, I’ll never do that to you.”

You nobbed, and in the distance, you saw his girlfriend approaching the two of you again. She didn’t deserve to hear all that, it wasn’t her fault, so you looked at Jisung one last time before leaving him behind you.

“- You didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor Jisung.”

LEE FELIX - GET HIM BACK

You met Felix in the summer, when going on vacation to a place so far away from where you lived that you didn’t expect to run into someone who was coming from the same city as you. But you did. And it was a blessing. You were spending your days at the beach with him, and then with his friends when he introduced you to them. They could be weird, but they were so funny and all you needed at that time was to relax, and it was even better to do it with people you wouldn’t see again. 

Felix showed you the most beautiful places in Australia, doing road trips just to get you to see this one spot that was so beautiful. So one night, during a walk on the beach to take you back to your hotel after another party, he kissed you under the moonlight and you were not stupid enough to reject him. It was fun, he was fun and fun was all you wanted for these holidays. 

But maybe he was too fun. Maybe he didn’t get attached to you as much as you got attached to him. You remembered how he would pass on some of the dates you had planned to go out with his friends instead. But no problem, all of this was not serious ! In the end, it became serious for you, and what was supposed to be a meaningless summer crush turned into you falling for him. 

So when you had to go back home, you knew that he was certainly not going to text you as much as before. And it was what happened. You stopped talking, as if nothing ever happened between the two of you, as if it was really not serious for him when all you wanted was to come back to that night when he kissed you for the first time. 

The worst part of it all was that you were perfectly aware of the fact that Felix had lied to you on numerous occasions. You knew that he lied about what he was doing, about why he was in Australia, about why sometimes he was seen kissing other girls. You knew all that. You knew that you didn’t mean as much to him as he meant to you. But that was okay. It was supposed to end at one point anyway. 

So even if you missed him some nights, when you were lonely and all your friends were dating, you never dared to text him. Until this one day when Felix called you, saying that he was coming back to your city for a while, asking if you wanted to meet up. And obviously, you said yes. Because even if you wanted your sweet revenge for all he had done, you also wanted him again, you wanted to get him back. 

Felix invited you to have a drink with him at a bar, and you were mesmerized all over again by his sweet smile, his beautiful freckles, and his deep voice that brought back to life all the butterflies that you had tried to kill the past months. It was almost as if you were back in his car, driving through the desert with no other sound than the broken radio of his old car and the sound of your laughter as you shared memories. And if you ended up going back to his place this night, it was just for the sake of these memories. Nothing more. 

But it became something more again. Just like you wanted. Just like you had dreamt about. It was just not what you imagined. How stupid was it of you to think that you could change him and his ways of living ? You were nothing but some kind of amusement to him and you knew it. All you did was hurt yourself in the process and argue with him even more. 

“- What do you want from me Y/N ? I already told you not to call me when I’m out with my friends !

- And you also told me to call you if I needed something ! You’re not making any sense !”

Felix shook his head in disbelief, running a hand through his blond hair. Why was he so hot when you wanted to be mad at him ? 

“- I don’t understand you ! Do you love me or do you hate me ?

- I guess it’s up and down these days because you act like a fucking asshole !”

You turned away, slamming the door of his apartment behind you and not caring about his neighbors. That was what was so frustrating about him. He was sweet but toxic at the same time. He told you that you were pretty one day and the next you were annoying. He called you in the middle of the night but you couldn’t do the same. You wanted to break his heart and then be the one to stitch it up. And even if you were angry at him for now, you knew that you would come running back in his arms. 

KIM SEUNGMIN - ENOUGH FOR YOU

You knew from the start that Seungmin was not the most affectionate person, but that was okay. You were in a relationship, so there was no need to worry about him loving you just like you loved him. All it took was one comment from him, one remark from a friend of yours saying that he started to date you out of pity. And then you were spiraling down into doubt and worry. 

As time went on, you started to notice all the things your friend had mentioned. You started to notice how he would always prioritize his friend over you under the excuse that he had some work shit to clear up with them when really they were just hanging out. You started to notice how he always avoided your display of affection, even if it was just holding hands or his waist so as not to get lost in a crowd. You started to notice all the little things he said to you, about how he preferred when you dressed that way, or acted another way. 

And you loved him, you were just a girl in love, so you did that. You tried so hard to be everything that he liked just for him to say that he was not the compliment type. You really did everything he wanted you to change about yourself. You got into the things he loved to prove to him that you were interested in whatever he was doing even if he wasn’t doing the same in return. That was fine, because again, you loved him. And it took some effort on both sides for a love story to work. 

Except Seungmin didn’t put any effort into your relationship. It was obvious. Everyone could see it. So when he broke up with you, it wasn’t a surprise for anyone, even you. You knew that this was all a dream that would end soon, but you wished it would last a little longer. A few weeks later, when you saw him holding another girl’s hand in one of his friends posts on Instagram, you weren’t surprised either. She was his type, not you. But you couldn’t help and wonder what you did wrong for him to leave this easily. 

Despite what he did to you, you tried to move on and get over him. It was not easy, but you still tried. Because he broke your heart, but he also broke much more than that. Until the day you understood that you didn’t do anything the wrong way and that it was all his fault, all along. Then, sadness became anger, and you didn’t longed for him anymore but hated him with all your heart. You felt like you got through all the stages of grief. But in the end, you got yourself together, you had never been happier than since Seungmin left you for some other girl he came to hate too. 

That’s why you weren’t even shaken by the fact that you ran into him at the club this night. You even greeted him, just like you would with an old friend, and you got back to your friends who were waiting for you to dance. And as much as you tried to ignore him, you could feel his eyes burning holes in your back the whole time, even when you left your friends for a while to get yourself another drink, flashing a smile to the barman you had come to know since you came here often. 

“- So now you’re going out, huh ?”

The disappointment in his voice brought you back to the time you tried to be the perfect little doll he wanted you to be, but when you turned around, there was nothing left of that.

“- I do what I want Seungmin, it’s none of your business. 

- I know. I’m just surprised. You were not like that when we were together. 

- Yes. Because I’m not trying to meet your unrealistic expectations anymore.”

Seungmin scoffed, as he always did every time you dared not agree with what he was saying. But you knew better, knew that you didn’t deserve everything he did to you, that you didn’t deserve to be used and discarded.

“- I never asked you to do that.

- But I did it anyway, because all I ever wanted was to be enough for you. But I don’t think anything could ever be enough for you. I’m over all this Seungmin, I’m happy and do not think that I’ll ever let you come back and ruin my life again.”

You left with your drink, not sparing him another glance. But still, you could feel his eyes on you, and you couldn’t help feeling the sadness coming back all over again. He really fucked you up. 

YANG JEONGIN - 1 STEP FORWARD, 3 STEPS BACK

Jeongin warned you before you started seeing each other that he had not so much experience and that he might be a little clumsy or careless at times. But he also told you to not hesitate to tell him if he did something that wasn’t good with you. And it all worked well, very well. He was such a sweetheart, always asking your consent before doing anything, buying you flowers, holding your hand during every date he planned, even cooking for you when you came home tired after a long day at school. 

And yes, he was sometimes hurting you, but you knew it was not on purpose, you knew that he didn’t mean it and he always apologized immediately, promising you to not do it again. So far, he always stood by this, learning how to be in a relationship with you, learning how to love you right. Or so you thought. 

Sometimes, he would act like everything was annoying him, even you, and he would send you away as if you were worth nothing. Sometimes, he would be the cutest boyfriend ever and take you to dinner at an expensive restaurant, and treat you like a princess. And you tried to tell yourself that it was only because you were his first serious relationship, but it was getting harder to use this excuse as time went on. 

And even if Jeongin never mentioned that the problem was you, you started to think that you were, in fact, what was wrong between you. You wondered if it was because you were too soft, or because you were too mean, or because you tried to control him too much, or because you were not what he needed. You didn’t know, but so many doubts were filling up your mind as to why everything seemed to unravel, as to why everything seemed to turn bad. 

You tried to take it the good way. It was kinda funny how you got a new lover everyday, wondering if he will walk you to your door or send you home crying. What was important was that you loved him and he loved you, and both of you could learn from the other to be better persons. At least, that was what you were trying to do, but apparently, it was not the case for Jeongin, and all you wished for was that he gave you as much as you were giving to him. You just wanted him to know what he needed, to know if he really wanted to be with you or not because everything he did was confusing. 

“- Why are you crying baby ?”

Today, he was so kind to you, but you couldn’t help going back to a few days before, when he forgot about your date and even called you clingy. 

“- It’s just… I can’t anymore with this back and forth thing you do all the time. If I did something wrong, tell me please, and I’ll fix it I promise. Just tell me…

- What made you think that baby ?”

You tried to stop the numerous tears spilling out of your eyes but you couldn’t, having kept your emotions for yourself for too long. You didn’t know why today, but it was too much to bear. You needed to let it all out.

“- You’re always telling me one thing and then another. You always told me that you loved the fact that I was very affectionate and two days ago you accused me of being too clingy. 

- Is it only that ? 

- No ! Don’t you see how complicated it is for me to get what you want from me ? I always have to be careful with my words to not anger you, and at the same time you treat me like a queen and I… I just don’t know where we are anymore. Do you love me ? Or want me ? Or hate me ? Please, tell me, because I really don’t understand…”

Jeongin was looking at you with a puzzled expression on his face, seemingly not getting what you were trying to tell him. 

“- It’s me who doesn't understand where all this came from. Just because I forgot one single date yesterday, all of sudden I’m a fucking monster that doesn’t consider your feelings ? You’re trying to make me look like the bad guy because you’re angry Y/N.”

You shook your head, attempting one more time to explain your opinion, but one word after another, and one insult after another, and suddenly you were screaming at each other like you had never been in love. 

“- Then I’m leaving, because that’s what you seem to want so badly ! I can’t believe that you’re being like this !

- Well, try to look in a mirror, because maybe this is all your fault instead.”

Jeongin slammed the door behind him, and you knew that sooner or later, you would welcome him again, because you were not ready to let him go yet, even if it was, indeed, his fault. 

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

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[georgeharrisonsmiling]

not long ago you wrote "self sabotaging tendencies". how did it manifest itself or did he talk about it directly?

Hello.

We know all these 4 men went through a lot and there were times they barely made it after the breakup.

George's self sabotage seemed to be held back by his sense of duty to his friends most of the time. Or at least he was the most discreet about it. We know his bad habits cost him a lot eventually.

I still cannot find the quote I had in mind when I made that comment. I think that George at some point tried to destroy himself because George talked causally about suicide during several interviews from a period that started in 73. Some of the quotes are:

Q: The litigation involved in the Concert For Bangladesh, didn't that depress you?

GEORGE: Yeah, that is sure enough to make you go crazy and commit suicide. 

"When people keep asking, ‘Why don’t the Beatles keep on going?’ they don’t realize that you can kill yourself"

"You either go crackers and commit suicide or you try to realize something and attach yourself more strongly to an inner strength"

"If you get depressed, you start agreeing with them. If you start agreeing with them then you just go and do yourself in."

So my take is that George had been really in a down place when he basically decided to nuke his most reliable friendship. What is telling for me is that not only George slept with Maureen, but that he repeated the speech that Clapton gave to him word by word in his own confession to Ringo.

And then after his tour was over, all the trauma it caused, the stress of the Beatles, his disappointment in John, etc. Where did George spend Christmas 1974? He went to Clapton and Pattie house. He was just hurting himself a lot in different ways during that time 🫤.

[kindheart525]

could you tell us more about Ell and Gio?

I’ll tell you how they got together!

As I have established before, Ell and Giorno have been best friends since childhood. What started as them racing each other through the Smiling Friends headquarters led to them spending time together in everything else they did and becoming close with each other’s families. But for a time, if you suggested to either of them that they could be a good couple, they would have laughed in your face. Ew, that’s practically my family! Boys and girls can be just friends!

But puberty changed things.

Gio was very popular with the girls as a teen. They found him attractive, funny, and charismatic, all traits Ell also admired about him as her best friend. But…she started to feel different around him. On the outside she laughed and joked with him and even acted as his wing-girl, because she really was happy for him. But on the inside was a feeling she couldn’t place. Every time he talked about a new girl that caught his interest she felt a little pang inside, like she was somehow losing him. But she wasn’t, they still spent every day together! Their friendship remained as strong as ever. What was wrong with her?

Ell was jealous.

She wanted to lose her shit and cling onto Gio sometimes. She craved his attention when they were together and couldn’t stop thinking about him when they were apart. The girls he picked were beautiful, the kind that she would have loved too if she wasn’t so fixated on Gio. She couldn’t blame him for pursuing them and she couldn’t blame them for pining after him too. She could see why they loved him. That was her problem, she loved him too, but she couldn’t have him. Not in that way.

The hormones eventually subsided and the angst between them cleared up, but the two never lost their deep fondness for each other. Giorno continued to date and Ell, too, moved on to other guys and gals. They volunteered as each other’s wing-critters, helping each other get dates and picking each other up whenever one went through a breakup or rejection. They had a system that worked for them.

But feelings still bubbled under the surface.

Here they are, both fresh out of bad dates, ruminating together. Venting to each other as any best friend pair does, but they let stuff slip that blurs the lines of platonic relationships. Stuff like:

“His family fucking sucks, it’s like his mom is in love with him. If I got married I’d rather have in laws more like your family.”

"She did fun stuff with me but she didn’t know how to joke around. I couldn’t really mess with her and I missed having someone mess with me too. You know, like we make each other laugh our asses off all the time. I want that.”

"That discussion would have been so much easier if I was having it with you.”

Oh to be a fly on that wall!

They're just so in-tune with each other. Sure, they've had their conflicts as friends, but the miscommunications that plagued many of their other relationships never happen with them because they just get each other. Not that their love for their other partners wasn't real, but when things didn't work out they always found themselves thinking of how much easier it would be if that person understood them as well as their best friend did.

Ell and Gio say all this then just stare at each other, the words lingering in the air, the air is still but flowing all at once

Then Ell reaches over and squeezes his muscular man booby

"Ok do you think we should date then?” “No mate I’m squeezing your boobs platonically—what do you think? Of course I do!”

Oh Gio your muscles are bigger than your brain but we still love you

And the rest is history! After a period of dating and finally getting to enjoy each other as a couple, they didn't take long to get married and start popping out kids. Plenty of couples at their wedding talk about "marrying your best friend" but these two really meant it, which is what makes them such a great team in whatever life throws at them

[kwnnys]

— craig tucker fluff alphabet !

fluff alphabet : g/n reader a/n : i went through all stages of grief editing this. pls enjoy. 🥰

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

craig is not the best at physical affection, so you'll have to be the one to initiate it most of the time.

he does sometimes intertwine pinkies and holds your hand, but only sometimes.

its not that he doesn't like it, it just doesn't really occur in his mind to initiate pda and stuff like that.

he much prefers verbal affection or acts of service. telling you just how much he appreciates you and helping you with chores or homework is much better in his opinion.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

you and craigs friendship started when you both were in detention, and you threw a paper airplane right on mr. mackeys head while he was napping.

"hey! who did that?! you better come up mkay. that is very irresponsible and-"

you both snickered and put your hands on your mouths, trying to stop yourselves from laughing.

mr. mackey sadly heard craig though, and immediately accused him.

"craig, did you do that? now listen here young man. I am tired of your attitude and games- did you just flip me off?!"

you couldn't help it and started laughing hysterically, damn you and your shit humor.

you both got detention for 2 weeks.

but after that day, you started hanging around craig more and more and eventually made your way in his little gang.

hes pretty protective of you, constantly flipping off anyone who talks bad about you. also prolly gatekeeps you from everyone else.

he lets you hold stripe before anyone else, and even lets you feed him! the cute little thing.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

craig is a pretty cuddly guy when you both are alone, spooning is an absolute must!

he doesn't mind whichever position, though he prefers being the big spoon. so that he can feel your soft body against his.

he doesn't mind little spooning at all though.

if you lay your head against his chest while cuddling, he'll get soo happy.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

hes absolutely down to get married and live a happy life with you if you're down too.

craig will probably be the one working most of the time, but he doesn't mind being a malewife/househusband either.

it honestly just depends on you.

hes not the best cook, but definitely not the worst either.

hes pretty lazy when it comes to cleaning, always telling himself he'll 'do it later'

ends up never happening though.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

hes heartbroken, but he knows this has to be done.

he will act awfully weird and awkward the whole day, especially around you.

"hey craig, can I borrow a pencil?"

"huh- oh uhh.. yeah here."

he ends up approaching you about 20 minutes after classes, when theres not much people around.

"I really love you y/n. but... this is for the best."

after the breakup. he'll seek comfort in his room and stripe. refusing to leave for the next few days.

he finds it hard to cry, so he'll try to force himself to.

hes not insensitive of course not, its just hard for him since he rarely does it.

after a few days he'll check his phone and text all his friends back, though still heartbroken and sad.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

craig struggles with commitment, but he'll do everything in his power to make you feel loved and special. just in his own way.

hes pretty neutral about marriage, but again if you're down. hes down.

he wouldn't want to get engaged too quickly of course- perhaps give it a good 3 years. maybe 4.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

craig is very gentle with you physically.

his touches are soft and careful, and he always asks you before touching you. he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

also pretty gentle with you emotionally, but he does struggle a few times since hes not used to emotions.

he is trying though! always reassuring you and making sure you feel special and loved.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

the guy loves hugs. especially from you.

though he doesn't initiate hugs most of the time, he will gladly accept any hug without hesitation.

craigs hugs are short, but warm and cuddly. his hands lingering and ruffling your hair as he kisses your neck.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

love is a very strong and meaningful word, especially to craig.

so he takes his time before actually saying it. he needs time to make sure the feelings he has for you (whether romantic or platonic) are real, and true.

but once he does make sure and finally does says it, he says it.

and he'll say it over and over and over again.

you're leaving his house? "bye, love you."

you both bump into each other on the way to class? "love you."

you give him any kind of gift for any random occasion? "I love you."

he starts saying it everyday, all day. and he'll keep saying it till the day that love dies.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

craig is a chill and laid back guy, and hes not one to get jealous often.

but on the rare occasions when he does, he gets pissed.

he'll secretly flip off the person thats making him jealous and stick his tongue out.

he'd hold you much closer, wrapping his hands around your waist and kissing your nape as he glares.he'll also ask you random questions like "hey babe, what time is it?" or "honey, what do you want for lunch?" while your talking with said person, just to let them know that you're his and only his.

you'll whisper to him a 'whats wrong?' and he'll shrug, asking what you mean and that nothing is wrong.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

craigs kisses are passionate and meaningful, and when you two are kissing, he doesn't care about anything else.

he kisses you everywhere, your lips, cheeks, neck.

but hes most fond of kissing your nape and hands, something about it just feels so intimate.

he loves when you kiss him on his forehead, his ears and face flushing a bright pink whenever you do.

he just loves you so much, and wants you to feel the same way.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

craig doesn't dislike children, but doesn't exactly like them either.

he'll make a disgusted face and scowl when he sees a child crying or throwing a tantrum and laugh out loud when a child trips and falls, not caring if the parent is nearby.

will also not hesitate to flip a child off if they annoy him.

however he does has a soft spot for his little sister, tricia. and is always there to comfort her whenever she needs it.

when you point it out though he will deny it, saying that he only does it cause he doesn't want to hear her cry and whine. which is obviously a lie but he'll never admit it🤫

extra : you caught him playing dress up with tricia once.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

craig is not a morning person at all. and most mornings spent with him is just you trying to crawl out of bed as he clings onto you.

no matter how much you try to wriggle out of his grasp, he just won't let go. you whine and lightly hit his arm but to no avail.

but when you do manage to get out of bed, he'll frown and pout, using a pillow to cuddle with instead.

some lucky occasions you cave and stay in bed with him, much to the raven haired boys delight. he'll kiss your cheek and mumble about how much he loves you before dozing off again.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

nights with craig are usually spent playing with stripe and watching movies. he'll place the little creature on his lap, petting it while his head rests on your shoulder.

other nights are spent either hanging out with craigs gang, or just playing games together.

but no matter what you two do, the night will always end in you snuggling against craigs chest as he strokes your hair.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

craig is not a very open person, so it will definitely take a while before you can really get to know more about him.

its not cause of any trust issues or anything like that, he just doesn't really think to tell you about him in the first place.

you'll probably have to be the one to ask him about things, and hes more than happy to tell you if you're both close enough.

he doesn't tell you much about his problems, mostly because he doesn't wanna trouble you with it. but if you insist then he will slowly but surely open up to you more.

in the end, hes always glad and feels better after talking with you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

like I said before, craig is a pretty chill and laid back guy.

he doesn't get angered often, and mostly just resorts to flipping people off when they annoy him.

the only thing that really gets him angry or mad is when someone insults a person he deeply loves and care about (or sometimes a guinea pig)

its rare to see craig get mad or angry, but when he does he immediately tries to cool himself down, he hates letting you see him like this so he either walks away from the situation or just take a deep breaths.

he does calms down fairly quick though, so its not much of a problem.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

craigs a forgetful guy, but not when it comes to you!

he'll remember every small detail about you. your favorite bands and songs, your favorite sweets and candy, he'll even remember all the moles and birthmarks on your body.

he likes buying things he knows you like. stuffed animals, bracelets, figures, etc.

and he absolutely adores the face you make when you see what he got you, your eyes glimmering in happiness as you thank him. he just loves it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

his favorite moment with you was your guys first date. he brought you to a fancy italian restaurant, per cartmans suggestion.

why he listened to cartman of all people was a mystery.

anyways, he asked his best buds to assist him while on the date, and they ended up reserving a table right in front of the one for you and craig.

he was hella nervous, his palms sweating as he looked at his phone over a dozen times to check if he got any messages from you.

once you arrived though, he slightly relaxed abit.

you two ended up having an awesome time. though it was mostly you doing the talking, but he snorted and made a few comments here and there .

once the date ended, he offered to walk you home. to which you happily accepted.

his hand brushed against yours as you talked to him about your interests, though he seemed out of it.

he ended up only staring at your face the whole time and not hearing any word you said.

after you arrived home you thanked him, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before skipping inside.

his eyes widened and his face went red as you left him there, completely paralyzed.

poor boy walked back home completely on cloud nine, a dorky smile plastered on his face.

he ended up thinking about you the whole night, and even dreamed about you spoiling him with kisses and affection.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

he is very protective about you, especially if you hang around stan and his friends.

he'll always insist on coming with you on your little adventures, making sure you stay safe and sound.

however when you refuse he'll pout and frown, but ultimately decides to respect your decision.

he will text you alot though, asking you about where you are and if you're ok every few hours.

its not you he doesn't trust, its them.

he will get less overprotective over you as your relationship grows, though.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts in as much effort as he can. he wants you to know how much he truly cares about you, and will do everything in his power to make you feel loved.

on very special occasions he'll ask help from some friends who have experience or his parents.

"should I get this or this for y/n? or should I get both?"

absolutely loves spoiling the shit out of you, he'll buy you whatever you want and whatever he can afford to make you happy.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

craigs bad habit is obviously the need to always problem solve.

sometimes you have problems that you dont want to solve right away. and thats... confusing in craigs mind.

to him, solving the problem as quick as possible is better so that you won't have to deal with it, so then why are you crying and yelling at him for suggesting ideas to help?

he doesn't get it, he really doesn't. hes trying to help you, so then why are you so upset?

he asks all the smartest people he knows about what to do, but to no avail.

he decides to just ask you himself about what you want him to do and what you need to feel better.

you tell him that you just want someone to comfort you, to hold you and talk through your emotions with you. and so he does.

he holds you, stroking your hair as you sob into his chest. he mutters a few words of affirmation here and there, but mostly lets you do the talking.

after you feel better, he'll make you a cup of your favorite drink and give it to you. cuddling you and kissing your puffy eyes as you fall asleep in his arms.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

craig never really cared much about his appearance or about how people see him.

it was only until you came into his life, that he started actually putting in an effort to look good.

he started brushing his hair before school and getting into the recent fashion trends. its a bit of a hassle, but its all worth it when you compliment his looks and outfit in the hallways!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

very much. when you leave south park for whatever reason (whether temporarily or permanently) it feels like a chunk of him left with you.

he suddenly doesn't have the urge to attend his classes, or dress up nicely. he'll be even more stoic than usual and would get annoyed much more often.

not a day goes by he doesn't think of you, always pulling out his phone to send you a message or to check your social media accounts.

he misses you dearly, and the only thing that really helps him cope is stripe and the gifts you had bought for him.

he'll sometimes cuddle his pillow at night, imagining it to be you. tears prickling his eyes as he sniffles.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

you both rant to each other about your hyperfixations (autistic moment).

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

skip

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he has a habit of grinding his teeth while he sleeps, and it drives you insane.

when you confront him about it he'll shrug and deny it, saying theres no way he would grind his teeth while sleeping and that it was probably stripe.

in the end you'd have to buy noise cancelling earbuds because you just couldn't handle the noise.

[futbolfanficpunk]

Who is it?

Player: Pedri Gonzalez x Fictional Female Word count: 6330+ Summary: Pedri and his girlfriend break up when she can't handle the downfalls of being with someone famous, as they try to navigate their post-breakup friendship Pedri is having a really hard time because he is not over her, at all. Themes/Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Love Smut, Alcohol A/N: This came out pretty quickly, in a week and a half, which is really rare for me. Got inspiration from Rauw Alejandro's Dime Quien?. The timeline goes back and forth a bit, so be mindful of that. First time doing a long sex scene with a real plot, hope it works.

Pedri couldn’t get Camila out of his head, it’s been four months since they broke up. She left even when he pleaded, and pleaded, crying his eyes out like a teenager being rejected for the first time. She assured him that they could stay friends, he hadn’t done anything wrong, she just wasn’t ready for all the attention and outside drama of being in a relationship with him. They dated in secret for six months and once they went public she couldn’t deal with it anymore, four months later they were done. She wanted to be his friend but she needed some time by herself before that could happen.  He accepted what little she had to offer. Two months ago Camila texted him late at night saying hi and asking how he was. Pedri was miserable, if he had been honest that’s what he would have said but he didn’t want to take a step back and lose contact with her because he was needy. He replied

<Hi Camila, doing good. How about you?>

<I’m good, just wanted to check on you>

<Thanks. How’s everything?>

< Not much. Lots of work. 

I’ve seen your games. Glad the team is doing so well>

< We appreciate the support from our fans 🙂>

<hahahaha. Let’s chat soon or whatever. Going to sleep. > < I’m down. Good night>

He just smiled, reading the conversation again. He still loved her, wanted her, missed her, loved her, loved her, loved her. He ran his hands through his hair and pulled it in desperation while letting out a small groan. The first time they kissed, they made out for an hour, he couldn’t get enough of her, and she of him. Now Pedri couldn’t get Camila out of his head, if he could, if someone showed him how he would but he couldn’t. He had a small dip in training the first few weeks after the breakup, causing him to get benched for two straight games, and then got subbed into the third game with a sketchy game at that. He just couldn’t get his head straight. His teammates were trying to be understanding but outside people started noticing and he was getting criticized heavily. He wasn’t his normal self, not smiling in team photos, and Camila was nowhere to be seen in games or his cars, although she was very private she would be seen with him in public once or twice a month. The last month? Nothing, plus all her socials were now private. It got so bad the rumors got to his mom’s circle and mom, who at times treated her son as a friend, called him “Mi amor, todo bien?” (My love, is everything all right?) “Si, mami todo bien” (Yes, mom, everything’s all right)

“¿Cómo esta Cami? No me has enviado fotos con ella hace semanas y están comentando en internet cosas sobre ustedes” (How’s Cami. You haven’t sent me a pic with her in weeks and their saying things on the internet about you two)

“Ma’ , Camila  y yo no estamos juntos ya” (Ma’, Camila and I aren’t together anymore)

“¡Cariño! ¡Que pena!, ¿pasó algo?”  (Honey! What a shame! Did something happen?)

“No, mami, lo de ser famoso es un puta hostia” (No, mom, just that being famous is shit)

“Lo puede ser, sí….de veras, que pena. ¿Quieres que te vayamos a visitar?” (It can be, yes…it’s a real shame, Do you want us to visit you?)

“No, no te preocupes, ya me voy sintiendo mejor. Estamos de amigos” (No, don’t worry, I’m starting to feel better. We’re just friends now)

“Vale, te quiero, mi niño. Sabes que estamos aquí para ti” (Okay, I love you, my boy. You know we’re here for you) “Lo se, mami, yo tambien te quiero, chau (I know, mom, I love you too, bye)

“Adios” (Good-bye)

And after that call he decided that everything else would have to suffer except his football career, he would have to get used to not thinking about her before or during games or training. He had a habit of going through the photos he had of Camila on his phone whenever he was missing her desperately. He would touch himself when he felt lonely looking at pictures of her modeling lingerie she had sent him for away games. Nobody could make him as hot and hard as she did, he missed being inside her while kissing her the most because at that moment he felt like they were one thing, she was his and he was hers. He felt so empty every time he came, hand full of cum, he hated not having her around. In private he could hate himself and his situation all he wanted but not in public, not in football. He didn’t want his family to worry anymore. He usually shut the world off from his brain when he was playing but this last month Camila was creeping into his mind but from then on, he shut her off from his safe space, the pitch. He started playing better at training. Next month, he tried his best, even Camila herself noticed he was doing better and she started thinking maybe enough time had passed by and they could actually start talking again soon. She missed him too, she missed his friendship the most.  Even though they had said they would talk soon, they didn’t but they did start subtly interacting with hearts and likes on their social media, and neither of them was really ready to talk for another month. Pedri went by himself to a restaurant they used to love to go and decided to take a picture of his food and send it to her <“Guess where I am at?” >. Camila didn’t answer right away, so he just ate the delicious food that was in front of him and enjoyed the view of the city even if he had a bit of a knot in his chest. After asking for the check his phone vibrated < Is that fucking Don Jordi?>

<Yep! You guessed right> 

<It’s sooo good! I love that place! What I wouldn’t give to eat their chocolate mousse cake>

<If you’re home I can bring one over>

<I’m home but you don’t need to do that! >

<Oh, don’t be silly. Don Jordi is not far from you>

<You don’t have to ! I was just wishing out loud>

<I’ll bring it over and be on my way, see you in 20>

<god, I shouldn’t have said anything but okay, I love chocolate too much> He just needed an excuse, anything to see her in person. It had been three months and a week since he last saw her, Camila leaving his house with the last box full of her things, never to return. He order the dessert to go and went to the bathroom to check how he looked. He looked fine, this new fine of having eyes of someone who never sleeps through the night, just needed to fix his hair. 

He knocked on her door and waited, small bag in hand with a small dessert inside. She knew it was him, she had buzzed him in. “That was fast! Hope you weren’t speeding” she said as she opened the door “Hi”

‘Hi, and don’t worry, I wasn’t ” he replied with a small smile She gave him a small hug and said “It’s good to see you”. He could barely move, his mouth was dry, and his nerves were on edge but that hug made him feel a tingling all over his body he hadn’t felt in months. He wrapped his free hand around her and gave her a small squeeze back. “You too”. He said

She stepped back and looked at the bag he was carrying

“This is for you,” he said as he gave her the bag “I hope it’s not ruined” “I’m sure it’s not,” she said with a smile “Thanks so much!” “No problem” he said as he took the opportunity to look at her for a second. Her hair was longer, but she looked the same. She was wearing a cropped sweater and tight-fitting joggers. He could see part of her belly and lips were shiny from wearing a bit of lipgloss. He could fight 10 men at a time just to get to kiss those lips again. 

“Well, thanks again” She interrupted his thoughts ”Maybe we can hang out soon and catch up?”

“Yes, lets. Now go inside and eat it” 

“Oh, I will!” she gave him a lil pat on his left arm “Bye” she turned towards the door and opened it, she turned around and said, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

He smiled, nodded and turned around to go towards the stairs, down to his car. 

His heart was racing when he got into his car. Time had not changed anything at all, maybe his love-wounds hurt less but seeing her again in person made him want her back more than ever.

From that day on he would put his cell phone right next to him with the sound notifications on just in case she texted or called, even when he went to bed early because he had training the next day he placed his phone next to his pillow hoping she would. He would stare at it, trying to conjure her with his thoughts. A week and a half had passed since they saw each other when his phone vibrated and made a noise when he was putting on pajama pants to sleep, he took his shirt off and jumped into bed to check his phone. And there it was, a text from her, asking to meet up next Sunday, at the time of his choosing, whenever he could. He said that he could meet her after 3 PM, anywhere she liked. She decided that they would meet at The Café on Rosell Street at 4pm. He counted the days, every day waking up to check how many days were left. He got a haircut two days before. He had a game the day before their meeting, and he was sure he would be in the starting eleven, so it wouldn’t look like he was trying too hard since he usually got a haircut before big games. 

     Rosell Street, 4pm. The Cafe. Camila was there already. Pedri saw her right away because she was already looking and waving at him when he got in. She must have seen him coming from the street. Camila stood up “Hey, you” opening her arm as to welcome a hug. Pedri gave her a shy hug and quick kisses on her cheeks being afraid of himself and his reaction “Nice to see you” he said while pulling away from her “Is this table okay? She asked said nervously “What kind of question is that? Of course” he said, surprised. Something is off, she’s nervous, he thought. She asked about the game and training, she had seen the game and congratulated him on his goal. He was so concentrated on this day’s arrival that a goal seemed like something so stupid and unimportant, he never thought of bringing it up in their conversation or known she would bring it up “Yea, that was awesome. I got a good assist from Frenkie, so it was pretty easy” “You always make it seem easy, then I try to play and I feel embarrassed at how bad I am” she said laughing.

Pedri laughed with her, she’s right, she’s pretty bad. “You’re not that bad, Cami” he said

“Yea, THAT bad” she replied giggling Pedri drank water and the waiter came over. They both order drinks and a few small plates. “I’m so glad you came, it’s so good to finally be able to talk to you, I missed talking to you“ she said “Me too, a lot” he replied, feeling himself getting excited with hope “ Speaking of talking to you. I have something to tell you” she said

“Oh?” he said with curiosity

“I want to tell you before anyone else tells you. I’m seeing somebody. It’s been going on for a few weeks. It’s not super serious yet but, you know, I thought you would probably want to know”

He felt his chest burn and his stomach churn while she was speaking, every word that kept coming out of her mouth was worse than the one before, the more she talked, the worst it got. “Who is it? he said as he frowned

“It’s a friend of a friend from work. You know, Daniel?  We met a party at Daniel’s apartment, his name is Unai”

“Ugly fucking name”

“Hey, be nice!” He held his face in his hands and breathed, “Get it together” he thought

“I’m just kidding. I’m happy for you” taking his hands off his face “At least one of us is not a single idiot”

“You’re not an idiot, anything but”

“I am single though” “And I’m sure I won’t be won’t be for long" she said as she flicked her hand against his forearm “Oh, I don’t know about that” “I’m sure of it, you’re a great catch, you could have anyone you want”

“Not the one I want, though” he mumbled “What was that?” “I don’t want anyone, though,” he said, speaking up, “Does he treat you well?”

“Yes, very much”

“Good” he looked up and saw the waiter coming “Our drinks and food are here”. He really wanted to change the subject

They spent the rest of the time catching up on their every day, their families, talking about what movies or series they were watching, making jokes about each other. He paid their check even though she protested and they said their goodbyes, she said while nervously moving “Thanks for coming out, today was really important. You know I care about you a lot and I really hope we can keep being friends” 

“I care a lot about you too, honey, of course we can be friends. Even if you date guys with ugly names”’ he replied shrugging

She laughed and hugged him  “Chau, Pedri” “Bye, Cami” he said as she walked away and picked up her phone from her purse. 

He really just wanted to jump off a bridge, feeling the cold water hit him like a brick when landing would have hurt less than his whole being right now. She was moving on and he was not. Three weeks later, they had only texted twice. Once after a game. He had scored again and she had watched. She complimented him. And he sent her a picture of a meme he thought she would find funny, and he was right.  Almost every other day Pedri thought about her with her new guy. Who was that asshole? Why was he the one getting to kiss her? To be with her? To make her laugh in private? Why can’t it be him? Why were things outside of his control fucking up his happiness? It was Wednesday night and she texted him. <Hey Pedri! Are you going to Sira’s get-together? she invited me>

< Hey Cami. I’m planning to> <oh, cool! at least I’ll have more than just Ferran and Sira as people I know at the thing>

<It’s me, the dude you know. 😛 I’ll see you there. Should be fun>

< haha.for sure, and we get to hang out>

< looking forward to it>

< 🙂 bye> <later>

This interaction made his head spin. Was Cami going to be there with the dude with the ugly name? Or by herself? Why did she care if he was there? But the first thing he thought was “I need a new outfit for it”

     That Friday, he got to Sira’s place, new outfit on. She opened the door and he gave her a gift bag with booze as a thank-you gift for inviting him. They said hellos with the customary two kisses and he met Ferran right after. He didn’t see Camila right away when he scanned the room but he thought he would see her at any minute because he came fashionably late and she was always on time for everything. He sat down with Ferran and Eric, who was there too, and talked as they all had a beer. After talking and joking around for a bit, he noticed her. She was coming in from the kitchen by herself with a drink in hand. It had been over four months since they broke it off, and nothing had changed about the way he felt about her. He was still in love. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, he was freaking out. She came by herself. He splashed himself with cold water and fixed his hair, he didn’t know how else to make himself more comfortable and less pathetic. He came out of the bathroom to find her in the hall. 

“ Pedri!” she shouted “ I hadn’t seen you! When did you come in?” “A while ago”

“You can never come to parties on time, can you?” she said in slight slurred voice

He laughed “ I guess not” “Let me go to the bathroom, but wait for me here”

“Here?” 

“Is anyone waiting for you?” she said frowning

“Besides Eric and Ferran? No” he replied raising his eyebrow

“They don’t count”

“Definitively not, then”

“Then stay here, don’t get lost”

He did not move, he didn’t know what to think, he was confused but his heart was racing from just getting this much attention from her.

She came out of the bathroom and said, “Let’s go get a beer and go out to the balcony. I have gossip to tell”

“What?” “You heard me, come on!” she said almost stumbling on her words They went to the kitchen to get some Estrella Damm beers. She pulled him by holding his hand to get to the balcony, it looked down at the patio at Sira’ house, which was lit and landscaped by a professional, no one else was hanging out there. Everything was getting more confusing for him. She let go of his hand and leaned into the edge. “It’s so pretty here, Sira’s lucky. My balcony just looks at the street” she said and had a good amount of beer from her bottle. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at her and realized she was trying to get drunk, fast, on purpose. “Don’t drink so fast, honey, unless you want to go home early”

“Oh, whatever. Don’t you want to know the gossip?”

“Let’s hear it”

“I broke up with Unai” 

“Oh, fuck. Are you okay?”

“I’m great, actually. I don’t think I was as into him as much as I thought. Or maybe I’m just a cold bitch”

“Or maybe he just sucked”

“And the sex wasn’t that good”

“No surprise with that ugly ass name”

She laughed and flicked his arm

He smiled. He was happy to hear the news. Best news since she decided to text him again. He hated the idea of someone else being with her. He didn’t own her or anybody else but he was happy there wasn’t going to be another guy kissing her and calling her at bedtime to say good night before she went to sleep.

“Have you been with anyone?” she asked looking towards the garden leaning towards the balcony again putting her beer on the ledge.

“Not really” he said as he leaned into the balcony looking at her; placing his beer on the ledge as well.

“Not even a one night stand?” she said now looking at him “No” “There’s no way, you were such a low-key fuck boy before we started dating, no te creo.”  ( I don’t believe you)

“No, de verdad que no”  (No, the truth is no)

“Why?”

“ 'Cause”

“ 'Cause of me?”

He sighed, “Yea”

Camila bit her lip and smiled, she got closer to where he was until she was in his space

“What would you say if I said I want you to fuck me?”

“I would say you’re drunk” he replied

“And you’re not?”

“No, and even if I were, I wouldn’t fuck you while you’re drunk”

“You don’t want to fuck me?” “You wouldn’t want me if you weren’t drunk” “I would” “I think you should stop drinking now and leave it that”

“I want you to kiss me, take my clothes off and fuck me, Pedri” she said in a low voice “Cami, I’m not going to. I’m going home. I can’t deal with this right now. I’ll come to your place tomorrow and we’ll talk about it. But not like this.” he insisted

“No, please, don't leave”  she said grabbing his hand “ Cami, I’m going, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow” he said caressing her free hand with his other hand, a bit of sadness peaking through his eyes. “Can you at least kiss me?” she begged He cupped her cheeks with his hands and gave her a small kiss. He left the balcony to excuse himself from leaving the party. Camila just looked at him leave, not knowing what to do next.

Pedri got into his car and just looked at the dashboard lights. “Joder!” he screamed. He tugged his hair and groaned “¡Que hostia, carajo!”. Everything he wanted just happened in the worst way possible. Did she really mean it? or was she just lonely? horny? Did she love him? a bit? or at all? Right now, he just wanted to get home and sleep it off. Tomorrow they had the last training before Sunday’s game.

          The next day after training he was driving towards her apartment, he had texted that he was on his way and she sent him a thumbs up in return. His hands on the steering wheel were sweating and fidgety. He was thinking of two possible scenarios;  she still feels the same or last night was a mistake. He was trying to prepare himself on how we would react to either of them because what he really wanted to do is say he loved her the same way he did before, the same as always, kiss her, make love to her, and be hers forever but wouldn’t dare, couldn’t. Not unless she showed interest. He played loud reggaeton to calm and distract himself.

           Camila buzzed him in. He went up the stairs and was met with an open door and her head and half her body sticking out waiting for him. “Hola” he said as he got closer to her door. “ Hola” she replied and stepped back to let him in. Pedri gave her one kiss on each cheek and asked her “ How’s the hangover?”

“It’s okay now. This morning? Not so much” Camila replied

“Lesson learned?” he said while he fidgeted with his fingers behind his back.

“Oh, please” she chuckled. “Should we sit down?”

He nodded

They sat down in her small couch in her studio apartment, small golden rays from the hour of late sunshine coming in between the white curtains from her balcony that faces the street

She sighed “Te pido perdón por lo de anoche” (I want to apologize for last night ) she stayed silent for a moment while looking at him looking for any reaction

“It’s okay” he said quietly after the awkward silence

 “I’m sure that made you uncomfortable, and if we’re to be friends, that’s not cool”

“We all have said and done things when we’re drunk that we don’t mean really mean”

“It’s not about meaning it or not, I shouldn’t have said that while I was drunk”

“Wait what?”

“I’m sorry, I've just missed you”

“ I miss you every day, Camila” “You never act like it, though” she said holding her own hands

“But I do, I just wanted to respect you and your wishes. I didn’t want to ruin the chance to be your friend. I care about you too much” “Fuck” She said as he pulled her knees toward her torso and wrapped her arms around them, she sighed “What did you mean when you said ‘it's not about meaning it or not?’” asked Pedri

“Um…” she lowered her legs and shifted her body towards him ” ‘cause I did mean it, I wanted to sleep with you”  she said “Oh…were you feeling lonely or something?” “No, I miss being with you, Pedri” That’s all he had been wanting to hear, just a hint of wanting, of interest, of love, just an excuse.

He acted almost on instinct, didn’t wait, didn’t ask;  his lips landed on hers, letting his lips feel her to remember what it was like to kiss her. The kiss from the night before was so fast and full of nerves that he didn’t get to feel the kiss, or how she reacted to it, that wasn’t happening now. She let out a lil' approving hum contrived in her mouth and she opened her mouth a bit so that she could feel her lips eat his. He pulled her in by wrapping his arms around her as he deepened the kiss with his tongue. He had been starved of her for all these months, he would be damned if he didn’t take this opportunity to have her, so show her his love. She tilted her head and let her tongue savor every inch of his mouth as she held onto the back of his neck. She felt him pulling her in even more, chest almost touching, her legs open to make room for him. He unwrapped himself to touch her hair, gave her one last small peck, and said “ We can sleep together tonight if you want”, giving her another kiss. 

“I want to, obviously” she said as she caressed his face with her finger and gave him another kiss.

“I don’t have condom, though” he said in between kisses

“I think I do. In my nightstand. You wanna come to bed?” she replied 

He nodded

The bed was hidden behind a vintage hand-painted divider between the couch and the bed, so they went around to the bed where he sat while she looked through her nightstand’s drawer

He looked around, she lives in a studio that somehow she managed to make cozy, styled in a sophisticated but simple manner. Kind of like her, an amazingly beautiful woman, who’s smart yet unassuming and was never full of herself,on the contrary, quite sensitive with a simple yet classy sense of style and self. He loved being around her and her things, her vibes again. 

“Found it,” she said, showing the wrapped product off like it was a golden ticket. “but, why are you still wearing all those clothes?” she said with a smirk plastered across her lips.

He chuckled, “I was waiting for you”

She put the condom on top the nightstand “No, sir, you take it off first. It’s not like you’re shy, you get naked in front of dozens of men all the time”

“god, okay” he said. He took his jacket and shirt off showing her his athletic physique. He looked up at her, looking to be desired. He hadn’t been with anyone in almost five months and he wanted to, needed to be desired.

She got close to him, still standing next to the bed, placed her hands on his shoulder and caressed them and his chest “You’re so hot, it’s unfair” she said as she sat down next to him, as he smiled. 

“You’re turn, bonita”. She was wearing a short skater dress with string sleeves and a cardigan. She took off the cardigan, slipped the sleeves off, and took the whole thing off while he looked on, staring at her while she was only wearing her tiny panties. 

“Eres hermosa, no me cansaría nunca de mirarte quitarte la ropa” (You’re beautiful, I would never get tired of looking at you take your clothes off)

She went over to hover over him, reaching for his belt and pants. She commanded him to take it all off and so he did. 

He went in for her mouth while his hand slipped in between her panties and her slit, feeling her wetness, he rubbed her up and down then went for her clit, drawing circles on it. She let a few small moans die in his mouth.

“I want you, now, please” she said

He reached over the condom, his cock was throbbing hard. He slid in the condom on saying “I haven’t been with anyone in a long time. I might not last as much as we both want to”

“I don't care, I just want you inside, please” she said laying down, taking off her panties. 

He kissed her again, and got himself lined up in between her legs, he slid his member up and down her slit getting her juices all over his dick. She moaned and whined with “baby” when he did. He thrust himself inside her and then again slowly, to get adjusted and to not hurt her. She was so wet it went right in without any resistance. He was beside himself, she was the prettiest girl and she was under him taking him in. He kept his thrusting steady as he felt a warmness in his chest and cock at the same time, he never wanted and loved anyone so much in his young life. 

“ I love you” he said as he kept giving it to her and kissing her  “dios— so much” he said between breaths,

She opened her eyes, taken out from her pleasure trance, and said “Sit down”

He kissed her cheek, got off her, and followed her orders. She got on his lap, held his hard and wet member with her hand and put the tip inside herself, then slid into it, they both hissed at the overwhelming feeling. She started riding his dick with intent. In between moans, groans, and breaths she asked

“Do you still love me?”

“god, yes” he said looking up at her

“ Do you love being- joder, que rico- inside me?” (fuck, so good). She felt him getting even harder inside her

“It’s my favorite place to be” he answered pulling her closer to him 

Resting her forehead on his she asked  “Are you going to come for me?”

“Yes”  

“Now?”

“Almost”

He helped her go faster with his hands on her hips as her juices flooded his cock and part of his inside thighs. “Do you love me?” he asked kissing her neck

“I love you so much” she let out a desperate little moan “ I want you to come for me”

 He couldn't hold it much longer, her words were putting him over the edge

“Me voy a correr” (I’m going to come) he said as her riding got faster and harder, feeling the friction of his cock riding up against her walls.

“Come for me, baby” she said, riding him until he was a mess of groans and whines feeling his cock twitch inside her. He let out a loud moan and let his body collapse against hers, his face landing on her chest, breathing like he just had sprinted across the pitch. “Joder, te amo tanto” (Fuck, I love you so much).

She hugged him and peppered his cheek with kisses.  “yo también, amor”. (me too, love)

“Lay down for me” he said as he tried to calm himself down from his high. He took his condom off, knotted it, and threw it on the floor while she moved to rest on her pillows. He told her to open her legs as he went in to eat her out, not wanting her to go unsatisfied. Pedri sucked, touched, licked and teased her clit and core until she was begging him to keep going, to not stop, she was so close. He looked up at her, while he kept fingering her hole and licking her clit, met her eyes staring down at him, mouth open only being able to make noises. Camila came on Pedri’s mouth just as he wanted, screaming “sí, Pedri, sí”,  his mouth and chin full of her. He wiped his face with his fingers, and while she looked at him unable to catch her breath yet, he licked his fingers clean and said “You always taste so good, Cami”. Camila let an embarrassed giggle out and said “Come here, Pedro Gonzalez!”  while signaling for him to come on top of her. She kissed him, tasting herself all over his mouth. He moved next to her, and laid there looking at her, the happiest he had been in months.

Camila ran her fingers through Pedri’s hair, styling his messy waves, “Can you stay the night?” she inquired.

“Only if I can stay over tomorrow night after the game and the day after that too” replied Pedri, caressing her naked hips.

“Only if I can stay at your place the rest of the week” she said 

“Deal” Pedri said and gave her a small and soft peck on the lips. 

       The last game of the season was coming up, and Pedri had asked Camila to come and sit with his family to see his game and join the La Liga trophy celebrations. They had guaranteed the league title win two matches before. Pedri and Cami had kept their reunion on the download, telling only friends and family. When he sat down to ask her, he gave her a mini-speech about how much he loved her and respected her wishes to be private but he really wanted to share this important moment with her at Camp Nou, his first league as champions. Camila didn’t need a lot of convincing, she had been thinking about it since they had the mathematical win of La Liga. “I’ll be there, next to Fer” she told Pedri, she was ready. He gave her a long hug, kissing her neck. He loved her and wanted everyone to know she was his girl, he wanted to share everything with her, including this very important but public moment in his life.

The whistle blew on their last game and all the players ran to the pitch, jumping and celebrating. The first league title for Fc Barcelona since Messi left, since the 2018-19 season. Camila sat next to Fer and Pedri’s parents. They all talked, laughed, and got excited during the game. Fer was making Cami laugh during the game trash-talking against the rival team, Celta Fc, and at one point said, “You wait, I’m going to tell Pedri he was shit for missing that goal opportunity”. Cami laughed and said, “Don’t you dare, Fernando!”. People had already seen Camila with Pedri’s family and fan pictures and videos were already being shared on social media, although she noticed some phones pointed at her, she decided that these things were not going to affect her today, today was Pedri’s day and she was focused on being happy.

There was Pedri trying to look up at where his family was, waving towards them. The trophy and celebration decor were being put up and the players went to change into the champion's shirts. “We’re going down after they present them with the trophy, going down to the pitch, ok?” said Fer 

“Okay” said Cami giving him a thumbs up and wink.

After the trophy was presented and Xavi, Busi, and Alba gave speeches, they played music on the speakers, and families were cued to come down. They went down along with Ferran Torres' family and Sira. Sira covered her mouth and whispered, “Pedri is really excited you're here, you can see it on his face”. Camila just smiled and looked up to see if she could also see him. She saw him jogging down to meet them. He first gave his mom and dad a big hug and then met Fer who also gave him a hug. Camila was just a few steps behind. Pedri pulled away and his eyes met with Camila's. He couldn’t believe how pretty she looked, wearing an Fc Barcelona jersey, her hair down, red lips, and a big smile on her face.

“Hola, mi amor” (Hello, my love) he said as he went to hug her

“Hola, bello”  (Hello, beautiful boy) she said as she embraced his hug

“Felicidades, campeón” (Congratulation, Champion) she said as she pulled back to look at him

“Thank you, honey” he said smiling and gave her a small kiss on her lips.

She gave him another hug. “Come on, let’s go take a picture with the trophy” said Pedri The whole family took a few pictures and he also asked for a picture just with Camila. She looked up at the stands and saw there were thousands of people still in there. The team, along with the families, went around the whole stadium waving and celebrating with the fans. After walking with his parents Pedri walked towards Camila again, who was goofing around with Sira, Ferran, Eric, and Gavi, and held her hand. 

“Thanks for coming, Cami” he said covering his mouth with his free hand “I love you”

She looked at him and smiled, her eyes sparkling with joy, without covering her mouth she said “ I love you too”. They finished doing the lap and they all went to the tunnel. He said bye to his family. “I’ll see you later at home, yea?” he said to Camila “Vale, nos vemos en casa.” (Okay, see you at home) she said, gave him a kiss and walked away with his family The video of Camila and Pedri's moment on the pitch went viral, people had figured out she had said “I love you too” by reading her lips. The reaction was positive, unlike last time. She wasn’t going to be negatively harassed en mass like before. Pedri was so happy while changing in the dressing room, he had a stupid grin on his face, it meant as much as the league trophy to have had her there that night. The boys celebrated even more in the dressing room and he just sat down on a bench, laughed, and sang, getting hugs and cheek kisses from his teammates, thinking how lucky he was. It had been 7 months since Camila had walked out of his house, to turn his happy life into a miserable one and now he was the happiest man in Barcelona. He had his Cami and her love. No one else to claim her, to kiss her, to call her, to hug her, to miss her, only him, to love her, love her, love her.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I break off an old friendship with someone who stayed by my side despite my mental and general life issues, after everyone else had left?

This friend from high school had been a great friend, kept me company when I was all alone, supported me through two bad breakups, we went to the same college and we were very close.

Until I started talking more openly about politics, being queer, mental health etc. She's the facebook liberal type, slightly left of center. She gave me the freedom to be more open with her by being cool with taboo topics, then turned sour when it extended beyond what she knew. Examples, she'd change subject if I talked about queer media when normally she's telling her friends how she had a sleepover with her "wife" and saw each other naked. She was surprised to learn that you're not supposed to out someone against their will. She believes cops are bad only in USA. We're not Americans.

She started being open with me too, she told me how she hated it when her classmates talked about their favorite music, how she hated any fandom stuff they talked about besides discussing fanfics with another fandom friend, how she makes excuses so she can go wherever she wants alone and not with friends. She told me she spies on my exes on facebook insta etc and tried to tell me what they've been up to and only stopped telling me about after many requests and explanations as to why that made me really uncomfortable.

A few months ago she and I had a fight, she exclaimed that my politics was too American (I'm just an average leftist like most of 30+ tumblr and my other friends), that my politics was too fandom oriented (she avoids fandom so much she has blocked activists for even hinting at being a fandomgoer, like discussion of racism in fandom is waste of time and silly to her, fan-anything can't be taken seriously), mocked me for having childish interests (just knowing pop culture in general) then we stopped talking.

After some months she texted that she really misses talking to me as I was her only "progressive friend" who understood her when she wanted to discuss feminism, movies, world politics etc. She said she needed me to be her gateway to pop culture knowledge as I knew so many cool new things. She begged me to be friends again, and since I missed hanging out with her a lot I started chatting again. But I told her that it was hard for me to forgive her and I'd leave for real if she hurts me again.

This time she let go of the normal daily stuff we used to talk about and only stuck to Topics of Debate. She asked me to teach her progressive thinking, educate her, but when I asked if she wanted to touch on lgbt+ topics or physical -mental health related topics outside of her comfort zone of basic sexual health, she danced around a lot instead of giving an answer. I snapped and asked yes or no, she said no.

I asked her if she understands that even if she didn't feel like those topics were her priority, I'd probably want to talk about them with her as a queer neurodivergent person and friend, would that be an issue? She kind of ignored it to say that basically her priority was just local political gossip, religion, and a little bit of solarpunk stuff, outdated at that. I was disappointed but let it go and we decided to talk later.

The other day she messaged me with her usual gossip about how her friends are being too excited about some music stuff and what book she thinks I should read (we have completely different taste). And I got a panic attack. Since then I've had multiple panic attacks at the thought of having to talk to her.

She has been one of my oldest friends, she supported me and took my side in every breakup I had and she forced me to go outside when I was severely depressed, she was practically family, but now I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. If I bring up any topic she dislikes she's going to turn away, if I come out to her as trans she'll joke and start to avoid me, she doesn't want to learn anything new even though she takes pride in being a great learner, if I talk about things that make me happy she'll ignore it. I don't know if she'll go and tell others how cringey my interests are. Maybe she'll go to my exes and tell them I used her as support and threw her away when she didn't meet the standard as that's been a line of thinking among my exes.

I'm also struggling with BPD and anxiety, so maybe I'm hating her now and will want her back later, it's my brain being a jerk? I think I'm overreacting and she won't do any of these, but I also feel so drained after we talk these days. I need friends who I can talk to about mundane things, friends who share memes with me and tell me what anime they're passionate about, what new recipe they liked, instead I feel like I'm just there to drag her down with my issues and politics and dumb jokes. But multiple people think I used and discarded them for not agreeing politically, I'd usually disagree but what if I am the problem and I expect too much?

So I'm asking, am I being a jerk if I cut her off?

What are these acronyms?