#when i told her shes been constantly discouraged me from making my own stuff for 3 years she started telling me its not true

[robotpussy]

when you express your feelings to one of your parents and they take it as a personal attack..................

[blueraith]

It's wild to me just how badly Vi's arc is misunderstood in S2. The claims I've seen that it was bad because she didn't join up with Ekko to help liberate Zaun or didn't "have enough stuff to do."

Big 'ole S1 Vi analysis under the cut because some "hot" takes seem to forget that Vi's S1 arc even exists.

Like, sorry, but that was never the direction her character was going to go. This was spelled out for us in the very first episode of the show when Vander is giving her that lecture.

"When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish."

"Whatever happens, it's on you."

This is the first conversation in the show that carries an impactful character building statement. We are effectively being given the start of Vi's character arc verbatim.

She is not allowed to be selfish.

And as S1 Act 1 progresses, and Vi expresses a will to fight, to rebel, to revolt, she is constantly and consistently shut down and discouraged from that way of thinking by her father figure. She's fifteen years old or so, Vander is the only authority figure in her life that she respects. Why wouldn’t she internalize any of this as is, let alone after all the tragedy she's forced to endure at the end of this act?

Then we get to tragedy. Vander tells her two very specific things before and after the showdown with Silco.

"Take care of the family."

"Take care of Powder."

You know. Not, "hey, take over my mantle as Hound of the Underground."

Or "lead Zaun to freedom" or whatever the fuck.

He tells her to look after their family. The people closest to Vi.

And I don't know how many of you are older siblings. Or even older sisters. But I question if some of Vi's most heated critics are either neither of those things or lack any knowledge of sibling dynamics, period. When you are handed this tiny baby from a young age and are told "this is your baby sibling, you have to help take care of them, we won't always be here but they'll always have you" by your parents, that shit sticks with you forever. For better or worse.

If you're parentified on top of that through either circumstance or abuse, then that sentiment turns toxic. Vander, as well-meaning as he is in his talks with Vi, inadvertently presents a pretty black and white viewpoint. When paired with Vi's reaction to his (first) death and learning what Powder did, it becomes even worse.

Think about it. Most people seem to focus solely on Vi's anger issues when she strikes Powder for obvious reasons. But there's this selfishness that Vi temporarily succumbs to when she hits Powder as well. She's not thinking of Powder's emotional state or devastation as she realizes what she's done, Vi is mired in her own grief and anger.

She then walks away from Powder to take a moment to herself and presumably recollect her own composure, also a selfish move.

Now, when I call these actions selfish, I'm not assigning any negative connotations to them. Selfishness is not always a bad thing, putting yourself and your own needs first does not make someone a bad person by default. It can be healthy to take some time for self-care.

The "issue" is that Arcane is a tragedy. The narrative punishes Vi for lashing out and temporarily leaving Powder by having Marcus kidnap her and Silco adopt her sister. Not that Vi even knows that much when it happens. For all she knew, Silco murdered Powder.

So, then Vi spends something like seven years in Stillwater in constant limbo wondering if Powder is even alive. The sheer guilt she must have felt at "failing" to protect her baby sister would have likely been agonizing.

Seven.

Years.

Then she gets out. And all Vi cares about is finding her sister. She doesn't care about the Hexgem besides the fact that it's directly related to Jinx, and Caitlyn lied to her by ommission about it.

She's not trying to retake the Lanes in Vander's name. She only cares about bringing Silco's empire down because of what he did to her family. She wants her sister back first and foremost, she does not care to stick with the Firelights and even leaves Ekko and Cailtyn on the bridge initially to go after Jinx.

It's really her burgeoning feelings for Caitlyn that ever cracks this near obsessive compulsion to chase after her sister. Vi was going to choose Jinx until the point Caitlyn was injured and then the both of them were shot at by Jinx.

Even the moment she falls in love with Caitlyn is tied to her guilt about leaving Powder. The story she tells while they're on Caitlyn’s bed, her obvious grief and guilt over her sister. She's mired in this moment of pain until Caitlyn reaches out to comfort her. Like, Jinx and Caitlyn have always been intertwined in Vi's arc after she meets Caitlyn. There is no overarching thread to connect Vi to any of the political plot points in this story.

Vi's arc is character driven. Always has been. She's motivated by her warring desire to protect those she loves with EVERYTHING she has, and this by now guilty pleasure to finally develop something purely for herself.

It's why she pushes Caitlyn away during the infamous Oil and Water breakup. The class differences she's citing are an excuse, an easy thing she can point at to push Caitlyn away. What's really going on is that she failed to get the Council to decisively act against Silco. She's failed Jinx again in her own mind, he's still out there poisoning her mind, and now she needs to take care of him herself. Caitlyn proved to be a distraction from her goal, and so must be removed.

Even after teaming up with Jayce and then going her own way, Vi does not go after more shimmer factories. She's not rallying the Lanes to revolt with Hextech weaponry in (on) hand. She immediately goes to the Last Drop to challenge Sevika, someone she hates specifically because she'd betrayed Vander. She had every intention to confront Silco right after that.

Then we get the tea party, and Vi has to come to terms with the fact that the sister she loved is fundamentally changed in more ways than one. She's given an ultimatum to choose between her self-imposed duty as an older sister and Caitlyn. The only relationship Vi has ever formed purely for herself.

And she can't do it. It's an impossible choice. Jinx ends up triggered intensely, Caitlyn is struck by indecision and doesn't take the shot because of Vi's pleas, and Jinx goes on to fire that rocket.

Like this is just Season. One. Every single important character moment Vi has is tied to either Jinx, Caitlyn, or both. This is not a new thing S2 did with Vi's character. Her arc was always about how much she was giving to other characters without much thought to herself.

I just don't get how some people expected that to radically change in S2. It was never going to happen. I'll probably make an analysis on S2 Vi as well, but this is already getting very long. It's also a good way to remind some folks that each season of this show does not exist in a vacuum. I've read a lot of takes that seem to just... ignore S1. It's pretty bizarre.

[uncloseted]

You probably don’t even care, which is understandable, but do you think Hailey Bieber gives off high school mean girl energy? I personally do think she is pretty and successful, but i also just hate going on social media and see ppl take everything and blow it out of proportion to pit her against Selena Gomez and think whatever she says or does is out of jealousy over Selena and/or shading or bullying her (like what happened with the tiktok she made with Kendall Jenner using a certain tiktok sound, or even what recently happened with her and Kylie Jenner with the eyebrow thing) I do think they both do their own thing and want to move on, but somethings i see online seem either coincidental or non coincidental. Its social media, obvs. God knows what these celebs really do or think. These people don’t even care about us anyway so we shouldn’t play the blame game over this 😂 Overall, ppl shouldn’t encourange this for the sake of Selena’s mental health, the internet just wants Hailey to plummet and find closure that she *is* a mean person, but like I said I see things online that make me second guess that Hailey is just… off at certain times. I have so much to say about this but I cant articulate it all in one message, so Im just gonna leave it here 🥲 I dont blame Selena for taking a social media break, and i should do the same when I really feel like its best

That's so funny, I had actually just finished reading a deep-dive on the Hailey/Selena/Justin situation when you sent this. I do think Hailey gives off kind of "mean girl" energy, but I feel like people really blow it out of proportion. I think a lot of people would react the same way that she has if they were in her situation- she's constantly being compared to Selena and told that Selena was better for Justin or that he still really loves Selena, and Selena doesn't seem be able to let the relationship go even though Hailey and Justin have been married for over five years. I'm not saying Hailey couldn't deal with all of this better or that she's not being kind of mean, but I do think that a lot of the internet's hatred of Hailey comes down to the fact that she's a nepo baby with a famous husband as opposed to her actions. If the internet liked Hailey more as a person, I don't think they would be accusing her of being a mean girl.

And for Selena's part, I think she somehow gets way more hate and way less hate than she deserves? Her PR team is truly excellent- they've patched over a lot of stuff that would have sunk a different artist's career- but almost because of that, it seems like there's a group of people who are obsessed with making her out to be a giant villain? I think in general, Selena comes across as being much more sympathetic than Hailey because Selena has really worked for what she has, did "start from the bottom", and has struggled with her health very publicly, while Hailey has been given every advantage. But I think at this point, Selena should be able to let the whole thing go, and she's kind of keeping it alive while insisting that she's the victim and "being kind" and "sending love". She's also not really discouraging her fans from harassing Hailey, even though she's taking the stance of moral high ground.

Meanwhile, I think the real villain in this situation keeps getting totally ignored- straight up, this entire thing is Justin's fault. If he had been normal about his breakup with Selena and his relationship with Hailey, this wouldn't be happening. But because he very publicly ping-ponged between them from 2014 to when he eventually married Hailey in 2018 (only 7 months after having broken up with Selena, and only 3 months after having gotten back together with Hailey), it makes a lot of sense to me that both of them feel insecure and threatened by the other. Plus, Justin could have handled the media frenzy around his girlfriends differently- to this day, telling his fans, "I'm very much in love with my wife but I have a ton of respect for all the women I've dated in the past. Please don't harass them or act rudely towards them," would probably make a difference.

[teenmomcentral]

The battle on The Land rages on, with Jenelle Evans once again taking to social media to blast her husband, David Eason, whom she has been fighting with on Facebook for the last few days.

In  today’s episode of “As The Swamp Turns,” Jenelle called out David for a variety of things, including allegedly stealing her debit cards and making her pay for everything. (Jenelle has stated frequently in the past that David refuses to work.) 

The Ashley already recapped the social-media-sparring twosome’s fight from the past few days, where Jenelle called David “a total a**hole” and David called Jenelle a liar, among other things.

On Saturday, Jenelle stated that she’s tired of buying stuff for her employment-challenged soulmate, and even called him out for allegedly going to Poundtown with other women during the time they were separated in 2019 and Jenelle was living in Tennessee.

(And, yes, The Ashley did cringe while typing about David “going to Poundtown” with anyone.)

“You’re right David Eason, I have depression because of you. I’ve been mentioning my feelings to the public for a few days now,” Jenelle wrote on Facebook before listing all of the things she’s sick of.

“Stolen debit cards, name calling, buying every toy you want in life and asking for another motorcycle for weeks now,” Jenelle began.

Jenelle continued to list the things she does for David and the things she is upset at him for.

“Planning and paying for all family trips, having lots of ‘fun’ IN MY OWN HOUSE when I was in TN (2019) that I pay for, not coming home until late hours, hearing ‘no one likes you, that’s why you don’t have friends’ on top of lots of other negative things, constantly pushing you off of me because I don’t want you to touch me,” she wrote.

“The constant put down I receive everyday is distracting and would discourage anyone from focusing on their life, which I’m not going to let happen ever again,” Jenelle continued. “I’m sick of begging you to change and step up for the family. It’s time to start selling.  #MentalHealthAwareness”

What Jenelle plans to “start selling” is unknown, but in her previous tirade against David, she stated that she and David “both own everything” they have.

When one of Jenelle’s followers told her to stop posting her “dirty laundry” for the world to see, Jenelle replied, “I don’t care at this point, I’m sick of him.”

Among the 2,000+ people who “liked” Jenelle’s post about David on Facebook was Jenelle’s ex-husband, Courtland Rogers. 

Surprisingly, David has not responded to Jenelle’s latest post.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Noona, Do You Not Like Younger Men? (Choi San+Jung Wooyoung)

Pairing: Choi San× Milf! Reader (Female)× Jung Wooyoung

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Idol AU.

Summary: Maybe going over to pester their favorite manager during her vacation wasn't such a bad idea, especially if it ends up with them getting what they always fantasized about every night.

Word Count: 4.2+K

Warnings: Age differences (still within legal boundaries), breast play including titty fucking (yeah I'm aware some of us don't have huge tits, I'm part of that squad but we can dream ok?) fingering, m+f+m threesome, ass grinding, spanking, degradation.

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @deja-vux @daniblogs164 @brie02 @couchpotatoaniki @a-soft-hornytiny

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Y/N's eyes squinted at the two younger males who casually showed up at her home, uninvited and already letting themselves in as if they owned the place.

"Hi Noona. Did you miss us?" The older one of the two squished her cheeks together, earning him a slap on his wrist, which he did not appreciate.

"Aww Noona, now look what you've done. You made him sad." The other male pointed to the other's pout.

"Choi San and Jung Wooyoung, just what the hell do you think you're doing here?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Isn't it obvious? We came to keep you company!" San cheerfully exclaimed.

"We know you missed us so we decided to come over and spend time with our favorite manager." Wooyoung added as he went over to try and cling an arm around the older woman, but she brushed his hand away.

"Ok, in case you guys didn't know, I'm on vacation, a well needed vacation from my manager duties. Specifically from you two! You little brats who constantly give me migraines and high blood pressure. I got this vacation to get away from you both!"

The boys were taken aback by her outburst, looking back and forth between each other and then returned their faces back to her. Their somber and disappointed expressionism soon bursted out in laughter, confusing the woman in front of them.

"Oh Noona! You're so funny." San giggled.

"We know you love and adore us so much. And you're happy that we came to keep you company!" Against her will, and more since she was outnumbered, she let Wooyoung and San each take one of her arm and drag her over to the living room where they sat her down and started arranging the space so they could have a small movie day. Y/N let out slow and deep breaths as she tried not to lose her patience and just let the boys run around her house as they started putting the snacks they brought with them into bowls. She could hear them muttering angrily to each other from the kitchen, no doubt telling each other to be careful less they accidentally broke one of her plates. In less than 10 minutes, they had about  7 or 8 different bowls full of different snacks, ranging from crispy chips, to sour gummy worms and even different types of sweet chocolates.

"We even got mochi ice cream! Would you like some?" Wooyoung enthusiastically shoved the case that contained assorted flavors of the icy dessert.

Knowing she might as well enjoy the gluttonous snacks while she could, Y/N skimmed her hand over them and picked out one of the mint chocolate mochis and stuffed it in her mouth. Unbeknownst to her, the man on her right was staring at her with a wide smile as she ate the ice cream. When she noticed, she gave him a puzzled look and scooted further away from him.

"You chose the mint chocolate flavor." He giddily stated.

"Yes....any problem with that?" She questioned.

San emitted happy squeals at that.

"I love mint chocolate flavor too! Don't you see Noona? This further proves that were soulmates and destined to be together!"

Without even asking or warning, he snuggled himself against her, an arm around her waist as he used her chest as a makeshift pillow. Coming back from the kitchen, Wooyoung glared at San when he saw how close he was with their manager.

"Hey! No fair. Don't hog Noona up for yourself. We promised to share!" He quickly jumped on the other side and tried to tangle himself around her, proving to be difficult when San was pushing him away. Y/N ended up being pulled and tugged from both sides as the boys fought amongst themselves for her. Fed up with their antics, she reached her hands over and smacked both of their thighs sharply, making them retreat away from her less they suffered more physical pain from her.

"I want both of you to stay at least an arm's length away from me if you're planning to stay here and watch a movie. And absolutely under no circumstances do I want either of your mouths opening to sputter nonsense and annoy me further...Got it?!"

Both of the idols scooted to either ends of the couch, each grabbing a nearby cushion to keep them company and to protect them in case they furthered irritated their off duty manager. Y/N took a deep breath as she rubbed the side of her temples, letting the boys pick out which movie they wanted to watch. She probably wouldn't even enjoy the movie with the two rascals nearby, she thought to herself. Wooyoung and San settled for a cute looking movie, both of them hoping that the fluffy contents would soften up Y/N so they could cuddle up next to her once more. The woman however cringed when she saw the title.

"Ugh. Wake me up when whatever chick flick you chose is over." She settled back onto the couch, her eyes already closing.

"Aww come on Noona, give it a try. You might even like it." San suggested.

"Romantic movies have never been my type." She mumbled out, her hand reaching out to take some of the popcorn on the table to stuff in her mouth.

The movie played out exactly as she expected it to. Nothing short of all the typical cliches and stereotypes portrayed on every single romantic comedy made in existence. The boys would often look back at her every few minutes, their faces getting more and more discouraged when their manager didn't seem to be enjoying their company. It seemed that their plan to get close to her backfired as she was currently resting her chin on her palms, dozing off slowly while not paying one bit of attention on the screen in front of her.

"Told you to pick a scary movie." San complained to his friend.

"Your chicken ass can't even handle them." Wooyoung side eyed him.

"Yeah, but jump scares serve as an excuse to hug the person next to you." He tilted his head over to Y/N.

"Nice move, saying your plan out loud for her to hear. You dumbass."

Taking the pillow he had, San chucked it at Wooyoung, knocking the snacks he was currently eating onto the floor. Grabbing the pillow, he made move to throw it once more, but Y/N held a hand up.

"Throw that cushion and I will choke you Jung Wooyoung."

The warned boy immediately sat the cushion back down, setting his hands down on his lap.

"Please do...."

Y/N's half lidded eyes sprung wide open when she heard his whisper. Slowly she turned her head at him, of course Wooyoung noticed out of the corner of his eye and swallowed harshly. He didn't think she was paying attention enough to hear him, but she was. Wooyoung soon felt flushed as she eyed him with an indiscernible stare, trying desperately to focus his attention on the movie in front of him but the heavy weight of her stare kept burning through him. Seeing as he wasn't going to say or do anything else, Y/N decided it would be fun to tease him like he'd often tease her. Sliding on top of him, to the surprise of not only Wooyoung but his friend on the other side, Y/N hummed softly as her fingers ran up his chest.

"Please do what Wooyoung? Choke you? Is that what you want? Want my hand wrapped around that pretty of neck of yours?"

The flustered male shuddered when her fingers encapsulated over the front of his neck, lightly applying pressure against his Adam's apple with her palm.

"Oh someone likes this a little too much." She chuckled as she subtly rolled her hips on his tent that formed as soon as she touched him.

"Please Noona.." Wooyoung squirmed underneath her body, hips trying to grind up against hers.

"I barely did anything and you're already begging for me. You're an even bigger whore than I thought you were." She let out an annoyed 'tsk' as she slowly began to get off his lap.

When Wooyoung felt her detaching herself, his hands came out to clasp her waist, keeping her firmly planted on his lap.

"Yes I am, I'm such a whore for you Noona. But please don't leave me here like this." He whined at her, looking completely pitiful as his hands desperately tried to keep her from moving. Y/N reached a hand out to toss some of the hair away from his forehead, her mind already working on ways to play around with the young male. Noticing that his eyes kept falling towards her chest, she suddenly got an idea.

"You like my breasts Wooyoungie?"

Her question caught him off guard, eyes widening, looking like a deer caught in headlights, especially after she called him by his nickname. He was beyond flustered, unable to look up at his manager anymore.

"I asked you a question Wooyoungie and I expect an answer or else I'll leave you hanging there and make you watch as I play with Sannie instead."

The forgotten male beside them became excited at hearing her words, his hand rubbing against his inner thigh, slowly creeping up to the bulge in his pants. Tilting his chin up to look at her, Y/N repeated her question once more, expecting him to reply as it was his last chance.

"Y-yes. I like your breasts very much Noona." He finally admitted.

Satisfied at getting an answer, Y/N pulled away from Wooyoung so she could start removing her shirt, both boys watching her without batting an eyelash. When her bra dropped on the floor, they both stared in awe at her voluptuous chest, mouths agape and nearly drooling at the sight.

"Fuck, they're just-wow." San chimed in, tongue wetting the center of his lips.

"You like them too Sannie? I always thought you were more of an ass guy." She commented with a knowing smile, recalling all the times he'd come up behind her and greet her with a pat on her bum.

"Oh hell yeah I am, but I'd never say no to an opportunity to suck on a pretty pair of tits." He acknowledged with no hesitation.

"Is that so? Well then."

Prying Wooyoung's hands off her, Y/N sat herself back in between the boys, hands cupping both of her breasts to gently massage them in her palms, fingers tweaking at her nipples which were slowly getting fully erect. The two men at her sides watched with hungry eyes, only imagining how soft and tender her breasts must feel, both wanting to replace her hands with their own. Unbeknownst to them, they were about to get a better offer.

"There's one for each of you my loves, so go ahead. Put your pretty mouths on them and suck on them. And maybe if you do good enough, I'll play more with you guys."

Wooyoung and San simultaneously looked at one another, both wondering if they heard her correctly or it was another perverted thought their mind played on them. Realizing it was not, San was the first one to be bold as he cupped the breast nearest to him and brought it up to his lips, where he proceeded to coat the areola with spit before he latching onto it.

"So you're more of a dirty boy, aren't you Sannie?" She mused at him, fingers brushing some of the bangs on his face.

San only responded by lifting his eyes momentarily to shoot a wink her way before indulging back in his task of suckling on her tit. Y/N turned her attention to Wooyoung, who was still nervously sitting there in a pliant manner. She beckoned for him to come closer.

"Wooyoungie, my other breast feels lonely."

Getting the hint, Wooyoung lowered himself and practically squished his face into her fleshy mound. As expected, he was very vocal, spewing out lewd sounds as he harshly sucked on her nipple, bringing in as much of her as he could possibly put in his mouth. Y/N laid her head back on the top of the couch, mouth drawing out heavy breaths and pants as she relaxed and enjoyed the sensation of the the younger male's mouths on her breasts, their tongues and teeth eagerly swirling and nibbling on her sensitive flesh. She noticed how both of them had completely different patterns. Whereas San's suckling was less intense, it was definitely more sloppy, spit dribbling down his chin and down her chest from all the insane movements his tongue worked on her nipple, each of them clearly focused on bringing her as much pleasure as possible. Wooyoung was definitely more intense and full of eagerness, but each swirl of his tongue or nibbling on her skin was less meditated and more like he was simply enjoying to taste the older woman, playing around with her breast as if it was a toy for him to fondle and tease as he pleased. Not that she minded, she loved being used as a toy by them both.

She became so lost in the feeling of their mouths on her body that she didn't notice the hands that had traveled in between her thighs until she felt them prying them open in an effort to slide her shorts and underwear down. She became somewhat self conscious when they managed to tear the rest of her clothing off, her legs closing tightly. Tapping a finger on her knee, San pulled off her nipple to say:

"Spread your legs for us and let us see that soaking cunt of yours."

Wooyoung was just as shocked as she was at his informal and vulgar words, but it certainly served to arouse her even more. Getting talked down to by someone younger than her..... it was definitely something. Giving him what he, and probably also his friend, wanted, she opened up her legs. Putting aside her gorgeous breasts for the meantime, the 2 pairs of eyes peered down at the sight below them, their Noona's folds glistening just for them and because of them, her tiny bud aching to be touched by their fingers. Signaling to his friend, San dipped his fingers down, swirling them around her clit before pressing down on it.

"Oh she's needy Wooyoung, I can feel it throbbing against my finger." San smirked as he lightly rubbed against her clit.

"Is our pretty Noona in need of our fingers? Does she want to get stuffed with them?" Wooyoung muttered against her ear, lips quick to muffle the moan that responded to his question. It was a sweet and tender kiss that was interrupted by San who tilted her chin towards him so that he could kiss her as well.

"Don't worry Noona. We'll make sure you're full and satisfied."

Y/N gasped as she felt both of their fingers slowly insert themselves into her slick and wet walls. Nudging to each other, their fingers started moving to and fro, eyes watching closely each facial expression that took over her features, reveling in the blissful sighs that were spilling out of her lips. Y/N couldn't keep herself from clenching tightly around their fingers, mesmerized by the sight of both of them fingering her tight little hole.

"Are you enjoying this Noona? Like having your tight pussy fucked by Sannie's finger and mine?" Wooyoung giggled, pushing his finger deeper into her, knuckles pressing against her mound which had her shuddering.

"Yes she is Wooyoungie, look at how much tighter she's becoming."

With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he looked at Wooyoung.

"Maybe we should stretch her out even further. Don't you think?" He suggested, to which Wooyoung agreed to with a grin.

With a sharp inhale, Y/N released a whimper when 2 extra fingers intruded into her intimate region, stretching her further. The pace with which they were thrusting their fingers into her increased, each of the boys jamming their fingers at different timings, making sure that their tips touched the hood of her sex, grazing that sweet spot of hers. Y/N was a whining and moaning mess. The boys were not giving her any chance to relax, when one set of fingers was pulling out of her, the other set was pushing back in, continuing its abuse on her g-spot. She felt her thighs starting to trembling, her lower stomach building up her climax by the second. Even with the 4 fingers parting her wide open, she was starting to squeeze around them, wrapping them up in a blanket of heat that would soon coat them with her release.

"Are you gonna cum Noona? Cum on Sannie's and my fingers?" Wooyoung cooed as he drove his fingers faster into her to help her reach her orgasm faster.

Y/N could only manage to nod slightly, eyes shutting tight, unable to register anything else save for the slippery and squealching sounds that came from between her thighs. She didn't feel San press his lips against her ear until his low voice spoke in that sexy satoori accent of his.

"Cum for us Noona. Cum all over us."

With his encouragement, she tipped over the edge, crying out loudly as her release started streaming down her body and onto their hands, dripping even down to their wrists. The boys were kind enough to continue filling her hole with their fingers, helping her ride out her orgasm until she came down from her high.

"Shit. Look at all the mess you made on us. Such a dirty dirty Noona." San taunted as he forced her to look down at their cum covered hands, which they both brought up to lick clean right in front of her.

"And you taste so delicious." Wooyoung added with star struck eyes.

Cupping both of their chins, she placed a peck on each of their lips.

"Thank you for that my darling boys, you made Noona feel amazing. It's only right Noona makes you both feel just as good."

Not forgetting about the throbbing needs in their pants, she ordered them to strip in front of her, an order they were eager to comply with. Through clumsy fumbling, a pile of clothes was added to the previously discarded garments from the woman in front of them. Y/N couldn't hide the satisfaction on her face as she gazed at their erect cocks, standing proudly, waiting to be touched and played with.

"Well I suspected my boys were big, but even the reality is nothing like what I imagined." The men flushed at her words, flattered by the knowledge that she had indeed thought about them in that way before.

"Wooyoungie, lie down right here." She patted the space next to her.

Following her instructions, Wooyoung placed himself where she wanted him, displaying himself out to her. Hovering above him, Y/N kissed along his defined abs, getting dangerously close to the tip of his cock, exciting him while the member behind them envied their close proximity. Y/N pulled her face away right before her lips could touch his head.

"As much as I'd love to suck your pretty little cock, I think there's something you'll enjoy even more babyboy."

The pet name followed by the image of her breasts enveloping his shaft between them was enough to drive Wooyoung wild as he realized what she had in mind.

"Oh fuck Noona- yes please." He was anxious about having her warm tits hug around his length and fuck him until they were coated in his cum.

"I knew you'd love the idea."

Glancing back at the neglected male, Y/N motioned for him to come over.

"And I have an idea for you too my precious Sannie. Since you seem to like my ass so much, how about you stuff that cock of yours in my cheeks and fuck yourself on them?"

San's eyes bulged out, his dick twitching when he heard those words. It was such an erotic, kinky and naughty idea and he was all up for it.

"Shit- fuck yeah." He wasted no time as he straddled Y/N's behind, slapping his cock on each of her asscheeks before prying them apart and laying his shaft in between them.

"Fuck yourself as you want Sannie and try to keep up with Wooyoung and I." She challenged him, which he was more than willing to take up.

Spitting down on Wooyoung's cock and her tits to properly lubricate them, she sandwiched his shaft in her pillowy and soft flesh before rubbing her tits up and down on him. Wooyoung was releasing gasp after gasp the more he felt and saw his member disappear and reappear from his Noona's glorious valley. Meanwhile behind her, San busied himself as he started rutting his cock against the firm but tender skin of her ass, groaning and grunting as he took advantage of the green light she gave him to go as hard as he wanted. Each time he slammed his hips up into her, he basked in the visual of her plump ass cheeks rippling with each of his thrusts.

"Oh God." San exclaimed, one hand coming down to strike one of Y/N's cheeks, causing her to jolt forward in surprise, her stiff nipples rubbing against Wooyoung's shaft.

"Shit! San- be gentle with Noona." He whined, his eyes still focused on the silky sensation of Y/N's boobs hugging him.

"It's ok Wooyoung. I know Noona liked it. She likes it rough. Watch."

Raising his hand once more, it came back down to spank the same spot he had previously hit, a light pink hue starting to appear on her skin. Y/N tried and failed to contain a whimpered moan from her lips, spit dripping out and falling on Wooyoung's tip.

"Shit Noona, are you really into freaky shit?" He asked in astonishment.

"She's literally letting two younger guys fuck her tits and ass, how much more reassurance do you need?" San pointed out as he squeezed at her ass, riding her backside with more intensity.

"She's just a dirty kinky whore, allowing us to use her body this way. And then she's gonna let us cover her in our cum cause she's that slutty."

Y/N groaned at his words, her tongue poking out to lick at Wooyoung's slit each time it peeked out through the valley of her enormous tits.

"Fuck to paint Noona's tits with my cum-" Wooyoung hissed, teeth tugging at his bottom lip.

"You wanna do that for me? Cum on my big boobs baby boy?" She chuckled when she felt Wooyoung's cock twitch against her skin.

He couldn't answer her as another one of San's slaps along with his frenzied grinding thrusted her forward, making her and the boy below her exclaim in surprise.

"You're not cumming without me. You better hold it." San warned through gritted teeth, nails digging into her flesh as he violently rammed his cock between her fleshy and plump folds.

Y/N looked down at poor Wooyoung's face, looking so distraught as he fought hard not to cum right then and there. Leaning down, Y/N gave his tip a few kitten licks before resuming to squish her breasts on his length.

"It's ok Wooyoungie. San forgets his not in charge here. I am. So cum for me baby boy. Cum all over your Noona's tits." She softly said to him.

With shuddering whines and whimpers, Wooyoung threw his head back, eyebrows furrowed as thick streams of cum erupt from his tip, his orgasmic bliss so overwhelming, lasting longer due to Y/N continuing to rapidly push up and down his cock, milking him out of the last drop of cum he had left in his body.

"That's it. That's my good little boy, keep cumming just like that." She praised him, watching with excitement as his seed plastered itself on the top of her cleavage, some of it even splashing onto her cheeks and chin.

"That's so fucking hot- Oh my God-"

After watching the scene play out in front of him, San felt a familiar tightness in his balls, his tip starting to swell up. Before he could even register it, he was already pumping his own cum all over Y/N's ass and lower back, sputtering out incoherent words as he did so. He ended up collapsing on the couch, energy completed drained after all that, same as his friend who was still laying still on the other side. Meanwhile Y/N grabbed the box of tissues that was on the coffee table and pulled a few of them out so she could clean herself and the boys up. Starting with Wooyoung, she wiped in between his thighs, picking up the remainder of whatever was left of his cum before turning to San and cleaning up his body as well. Once both of the boys were cleaned up, she grabbed a couple more tissues to use on herself. She was distracted when she heard both of them start giggling out of nowhere.

"What's so funny?" She asked them, looking at San and then at Wooyoung, both of them donning a suspicious smile.

"So Noona does like younger men..."

[hxneydreamers]

Hello, could u share your journey in the law of assumption and how u started and what progress you've made till now, what you had trouble with at first and how you resolved them, and finally what concepts made everything click for you and made manifestinf super easy like being on a roll for you? And thank you for starting this cool blog 😊

Hey! I'd love to!

I'll first point out that I am still learning and whilst I am here to help people manifest, I am learning alongside you! I want you to know that I am very well educated on the law of assumption, and I am also currently manifesting an SP. I have manifested lots of things in the past (like traveling, meeting a celebrity crush, as well as multiple specific people including my current SP), but I never really pushed through because I never properly tried. I was always on and off my game for a number of reasons, so I would receive my manifestations, but not in full, and this was all because of my self-doubt and self-concept.

I first discovered manifesting with the Law Of Attraction a few years ago after watching the documentary 'The Secret'. I had NEVER EVEN HEARD about manifesting before, and I felt like it was a bit far fetched.

For a very long time, I was extremely non-religious, I didn't believe in God or magic, the afterlife, spirits, fate, NOTHING! I was the biggest non-believer out there. When I watched 'The Secret' I tried to simply change my attitude to be positive as much as I could so I would only attract positive things in my life, and I noticed it worked for a little while, but it wasn't anything significant. I pretty much forgot all about manifesting very quickly, because I never took it seriously.

The next year one of my friends was obsessed with the law of attraction and twin flames and all that spiritual stuff, and she was trying to convert me a bit. I was intrigued by the concept, but I didn't really believe in any of it at all. I just liked making vision boards with her for fun. I never took any of it seriously.

My friend made me go to a psychic with her for fun one day and I resisted and said no, but I eventually gave in because I got curious. Seeing this psychic was extremely earthshaking. I won't go into detail about my experience with her, but some things happened that pretty much changed my view of life and way of thinking. I was much more open to the possibility of things like manifesting.

A year ago, 2 people close to me sadly passed away. I felt very lost and I spent many nights awake and I stumbled across 'Sammy Ingram' on youtube and discovered the Law Of Assumption. I began to binge watch her videos and I did sooooooo much research about the law. I was immediately obsessed.

I started manifesting text messages and instant replies and dates so easily because I was so excited about it and felt no doubt that it would work.

I had success manifesting an internship, consistent shifts at work/consistent money flow and other money manifestations, I manifested dating a specific person (but I ended it for natural reasons), I manifested another specific person literally within a night, just to see if I could do it, and I manifested my current specific person as well (we have a past).

After these successes, I ended up having to deal with some personal issues with my grief for a while, as well as finish my studies, AND my internship, which took my mind off manifesting, and as a result, I manifested negative circumstances in many areas of my life, because I let myself spiral.

I won't tell you the old story too much, because I don't want to revisit it, but basically, for years I had been stuck in a cycle of being abandoned. I felt unlovable and my self-esteem was quite low. All of these beliefs were reflected in many ways, and I was constantly worrying about everything. My internship became toxic and I wanted to leave, my relationship also ended temporarily, and my self-concept was very very very bad!

I felt like I was obsessing over everything in my life going wrong and I wanted to manifest my SP because I thought that he would fix everything, but by putting him on the pedestal I was stalling.

As soon as all this happened, I was of course upset, HOWEVER, I had suffered so much loss at that point that I was determined to make sure that I turned my life around. So I decided to manifest ending my internship naturally, rather than me leaving or being dismissed.

I started visualizing a conversation with my superior where they told me that something came up and we would have to pause the internship.

Literally, two weeks later, he met up with me and told me this exactly, and he said that the decision was ultimately up to me if I wanted to continue later or not. So I said that the timing would not work with my studies, and I successfully manifested leaving the internship naturally.

Next, my SP.

- I literally went to sleep every single night repeating my affirmations.

- I affirmed every single day, I affirmed through tears and I affirmed with my friends. EVERY CHANCE I GOT!

- I started affirming from a place of peace, indifference, faith, and trust that it would work out

A week later we were back together again.

My struggles with the law were mostly that:

- I KEPT CHANGING MY AFFIRMATIONS

- I was on and off my mental diet

- I kept looking for confirmation in the 3D

- I kept repeating the old story

- I focused too much on my SP and not enough on me

About 2 months ago, I had a breakthrough where I decided I needed to completely change everything in my life to put myself in control.

- I started listening to music that made me feel extremely happy and would watch movies and shows that put me in a great mood

- I decided to pick my affirmations and stick with them NO MATTER WHAT!

- I started having a better mental diet, and I noticed results immediately

- I started being able to say 'I don't care what I see, I'm getting my manifestation, and genuinely feeling relaxed and peaceful about it

Once I shifted the focus onto myself and even took some space from my SP, I felt amazing 24/7 and my mental diet was practically perfect.

He has started implying that we are a couple, I don't feel needy, and don't even text him much anymore, he is the one chasing me and constantly blowing up my phone. He is constantly asking to see me, begging me even. He initiates ALL CONTACT NOW! Finally, the whole tone of our relationship has changed and our interactions have been extremely amazing! I have never felt so confident in myself and I can see it reflected in how he treats me.

I manifested him in steps to build our relationship to this point, and I didn't want to begin manifesting commitment until I felt my self-concept was perfect, as I want a healthy relationship with him. Now I am finally beginning to manifest the final stage: official commitment, and I am certain that I will get it!

My biggest tip based on my own experience is to:

- Persist in the same affirmations.

- Do not affirm from a place of desperation and lack

- Keep yourself busy and prioritize yourself and your life, they must reflect this and prioritize you as well

- Trust that it is done and don't check the 3D for confirmation

- If you started having negative thoughts, PERSIST! Do not be discouraged!

- If you know that you have been doing everything right, but suddenly everything feels wrong and your negative thoughts are coming out all at once and/or the 3D looks like shit, you could be in a transition period. THIS JUST MEANS THAT YOU ARE FINALLY GETTING RID OF THE OLD BELIEFS AND YOUR MANIFESTATION IS REALLY CLOSE! SO PERSIST THROUGH THIS!

So for whoever is reading this, please remember that I am here to help you, AND I am on this journey with you! We are all human and none of us is perfect!

I'll share updates on future manifestations in the future, but this is my story so far and my current manifestation in progress!

I will probably make a post in the future about past manifestations such as celebrity crush and travel etc.

[jarofstyles]

Level Up IV

A/N: Hi!! We’re coming up on the end, there’s one more part of this series left! but don’t be discouraged... We have something very special plan for them, something about college 👀 Hope you enjoy! - n + d

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masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: none really, just fluff 🥺🥺

word count: 8.9k

Y/N and Harry’s relationship was wonderful. Since making things official a month ago, the two of them had spent a lot of time together and though not many people knew about them being a couple, they made sure they formed a bond that went beyond what other people thought. Y/N was constantly over at Harry’s house and to her surprise, her mother was okay with it. Of course, she would have wanted to see the two of them together in person herself, but she had met Harry before. She knew that whenever they were ready to properly come over for dinner they would. It was Y/N who was more afraid of meeting his family. He said that they’d love her, but she could tell that they were protective of him. They would have to meet sooner or later, especially with prom coming up. 

Harry’s home was often empty, his sister off doing her own thing at college while his mom and dad were usually gone working. He didn’t mind it though, it just meant he could be with Y/N more. She would come over after school and they would study, play games, and now that it was warm outside they could go in his pool. But now that it was prom season and they’d been seeing each other for a good four months and dating for a month, he felt like he needed to step up his game. Harry knew that prom was something that was important to her. For a while, he was stumped on how to ask her but he figured the best way was to be sincere. He was just a smitten kitten, half in love with her if not in love already, and he was doing his best to be a good boyfriend to her. 

Tonight, he decided to take her to the movies, but Harry had a whole private prom proposal ready, hidden in the back of his truck. It wasn’t traditional, but it was something that he knew she would like. It was romantic. He was still shy in a general sense but Y/N had truly opened him up and out of his shell. 

‘Babe, you coming?’

Y/N was excited to go on an actual date with Harry. They had usually just kept to hanging out at his house and sleepovers, they’d never really gone out. So of course, Y/N let herself get all dressed up. Not too much, but enough for wherever he was taking her. She had told her mom she wouldn’t be home tonight so that she didn’t expect her and looked down at her phone to see that Harry had shot her a text. 

‘Yes baby, I’m on my way! Be there in less than 5! 💓’

Those were the perks of living so close to your boyfriend's house. With a little bit of a nervous step, Y/N walked towards Harry’s house and paused when she saw him leaning against the door all expectantly. 

“Hi!” She giggled and walked towards him, admiring his outfit and how he had actually gotten dressed up too. “Aw, babe, you look so handsome!” Y/N smiled, wrapping her arms around him before leaning up for a kiss. 

“Hi.” Harry smiled widely, taking in her looks. She was beautiful. Every time. I took his damn breath away and he couldn’t believe that she wanted to be his. The kiss made his stomach flutter even now. Who would have guessed that nerdy little Harry would be dating the most sought after woman in school? He surely didn’t. He had wanted her to be his for forever and yet here she was. He wanted to keep her. She seemed to be on board. “I’m glad you think so.” He had put on a flannel shirt and skinny jeans that Y/N had bought for him, trying to look decent. He had his glasses off and contacts in for the time since he got them, but his hair was still a bit of a floppy mess. She had begged him to play with it sometime and he would definitely let her. He didn’t know what to do with it. “Are you ready? Can just put your bag up in my room and we can go.” She had stuff here, like sleep stuff and a toothbrush but Harry was considering asking her if she wanted a drawer or a spot in his closet. That was probably the next step.

Y/N pulled away and admired him for a little, moving her hands up to fix his hair only a little bit before pressing another kiss to his lips. “You always look handsome... but you also look nice when you dress up” She said, nodding at him as he said to go put her things in his room. She followed him back inside and ran up the stairs to put her bag down on his bed before running back down and grabbing his hand, “Come on! Let’s go!” Y/N giggled, patiently waiting for him to lock the door before they made their way to his car. It was nice to see him like this. He seemed a lot more confident and even though he wasn’t dressed like he usually was, he seemed to feel completely comfortable. He didn’t really look like he did at school, Y/N could recognize that curly mop of hair anywhere, but people probably wouldn’t.

Harry double checked that the promposal shit was hidden away from view under the back seat again, just to be sure. Y/N was going to be happy with it, he felt. He loved making her smile and while he hadn’t planned on going to any prom, he was happy to if he meant Y/N would be there and be that happy little self. It meant a lot to her, apparently. 

“Someone’s excited.” He chuckled, holding her hand tightly as she slipped to the car. He had taken her on a few dates but this one was definitely the most nerve wracking for him. The movie would be a comedy so she would be in a good mood. Hopefully in an even better one with his surprise for her. 

“Yeah! Course I am.” Y/N smiled, “like going on proper dates, though I like our nights in too.” She said and shrugged, honestly it was just nice to get to spend time with Harry whenever she could. Y/N was starting to fall for him and quite hard. No one had ever been so attentive and gentle with her as he was, it was always okay to be soft with him and baby him. It made her feel needed and wanted. “Plus, I like showing you off when I can.” Y/N said and squeezed his hand a bit. He never thought of himself as someone she would want to show off and it was a shame because she happily held his hand at school and made sure to kiss him when she could. It was important to her that he knew how special he was. “Are you excited?” She asked curiously, admiring him as he drove. Y/N was already feeling so giddy just seeing him like this. Without his glasses he seemed so... so different. You wouldn’t look at him like this and think he was the nerdy guy from school. 

“I am, baby. I like seein’ you excited.” Harry was just happy to spend time with her and observe her. She was fun just to watch and enjoy how she lit up entire rooms with her voice and smile. “Showin’ me off? How? M’just one of them normal teenage boys to the rest of the world. For some reason you see me as an amazing thing.”

“Like walking around with you and holding your hand and kissing on you so everyone knows your mine...” Y/N explained, “not just a normal teenage boy to me... you’re the most amazing one.” She was damn near close to telling him she loved him but she was holding out for the perfect moment. At school, Y/N was never ashamed to walk around confidently with Harry but Harry seemed a little bit more shy. It made sense though, not many were nice to him. In public he seemed to let go more, feel more at ease and sometimes was bold enough to pull her in for a kiss if she was lucky. “I’m happy to be around you. I really like that you aren’t... embarrassed. I know we’re still workin’ on it. I’m just... I dunno. It feels really nice to just be able to have someone be proud of you.” She was proud to be around him and that was amazing. 

“I know you don’t exactly get what I mean. That’s alright. I’m really proud of being out with you too. I guess it’s still that bit of trauma, in a sense. Always worried someone is gonna make fun of you for being with me. I know you don’t care. I do, though. Makes me so angry to even think of someone bein’ mean.” He huffed to himself, that wasn’t at all something he liked. “But I really like when you do that stuff. I mean the kissing on me and stuff. I know you know that m’possessive over you, a bit. That side of me doesn’t usually come out unless we’re... y’know.” He blushed. When they were fooling around. “But, I like that people know we’re together when we go out.” 

He was right, they were working on it and it was going to take a bit of time until he felt fully comfortable and wasn’t afraid anymore. “I know baby...” Y/N sighed, rubbing over his knuckles. “Just gotta make it through till graduation yeah? People won’t care about that kind of stuff in college... we won’t have to worry about that anymore.” The two of them were both tip toeing around the idea of going to the same school. It was very likely that they’d both go to Princeton or Harvard. Maybe even Yale. Regardless, Ivy League. Y/N already said she wanted to go where ever he was going because it didn’t matter. It really didn’t. “Yeah, I know.” Y/N giggled when he mentioned how possessive he got when they got intimate. It was cute to her hoe he got so embarrassed, especially with the things he often said to her when they were in that state. After seeing that dominant side of him come out for the first time a few weeks ago when he told her to come and sit on his face, Y/N hadn’t been able to look at him the same. That’s all she could think about.

Harry was happy because of the fact it had been pretty clear to both of them that they wanted to stay together. A lot of kids in school knew they’d break up with their lovers after graduation but Harry was fairly confident they’d end up making the same decision on schools. It wouldn’t be necessary. They’d just... figure. All out together. 

“I think I’ll be a lot more comfortable in college. It’s like a fresh start.” He thought. And Y/N would be there and it would be the best possible scenario. He wanted her to be as close as possible. It was so rare that he had found someone he clicked so positively with. So rare, it was magical. 

They pulled up to the theater and Harry held her hand as they made their way up, paying for the tickets before they went to get snacks. “Okay... popcorn and what else, angel?” He spoke softly, rubbing his thumb over the top of her hand. He knew she loved salty and buttery popcorn and the theater was the best for that.

Y/N stayed close to Harry, leaning on his arm a bit whenever they stood in line. “Can we get the sour watermelon things too? And you pick what chocolate candy you want... do you want to share an icee?” Harry was really good with asking for things and ordering them which might come as a surprise to most, but she let him do most of the talking because it just felt more comfortable for her to have it that way. To think that this could become more of a regular thing for them in college, where they wouldn’t have to think about anyone but themselves and make friends that wanted to hang out with the two of them. It would be so refreshing actually to just be free. They were mostly independent already, their parents were surprisingly okay with it. Y/N wondered if he would want to live with her. 

Once they got all their stuff, Y/N helped him carry the lighter stuff into the theater and followed him wherever he decided to sit. She didn’t realize it was one of those fancy theaters where the seats reclined and you had to pick where you sat when you bought the tickets... but it was cool.

“C’mon then.” He teased as she looked around. He had chosen the back, near the middle. No particular reason besides if they wanted to kiss, no one would be watching. It was a bit of an emptier theater because it was more expensive and he only saw 2 other couples so he felt more relaxed. He placed the snacks down and lifted up one of the arms of the recliners so there wasn’t very much separating them before he sat down again, bringing them back to his lap. She had gotten the right idea by setting up next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder while sneaking some popcorn. A chuckle left him as he transferred the bucket closer to her, leaning back against the seat.“Good?” 

Y/N felt comfortable with their set up, it was almost as good as it was at his house, but it felt new and special. She liked that they were out of the house and doing something fun because Harry didn’t seem to go out much anyway. If going out on dates with her was his excuse to go out, they could go whenever. She looked up at him with a smile and let out a little hum, still chewing her popcorn so she took a few pieces and went to feed him too. There would be a few minutes before the movie started so they could get all cozy and comfortable and chat for a bit in the mean time. 

“You picked a good spot.” Y/N mumbled softly, taking a sip of the icee before looking down at their array of snacks. “Any reason I’m particular?” She asked curiously, genuinely wondering why he chose the back. Part of her knew it was because they wouldn’t be seen if they wanted to do stuff, but then again there were cameras in the theater.

“Cause... don’t know. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to kiss at all. People do that stuff at the movies, yeah?” Harry was teasing her, but also genuinely didn’t know. He was hoping that he could get a smooch or two. “I also just didn’t feel like I needed to look over my shoulder the whole time.” It was a force of habit. He was always picked on from behind and part of him still worried about the chances of someone coming from behind and splashing a Soda over his head or some shit. “Don’t worry about it though, we’re good.” He snuggled into the seat more and felt himself relax a bit more. It was odd because Y/N just had that odd and easy effect, making her feel a lot more at ease than he ever had. “Should have chosen a scary movie so you’d cuddle on me more but, want us in a good mood.”

Y/N smiled and let out a little giggle, nodding her head. “Just teasing... course I want to kiss and stuff.” She reminded him and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips that now tasted like blue raspberry and buttered popcorn. She couldn’t be too mad at that either. Whatever made him more comfortable was alright with her at the end of the day. Maybe she just never realized just how much the bullying had affected the smaller parts of his life. She felt like she needed to pay attention to these things more, she never wanted to put him in an uncomfortable situation. “No! I’ll still cuddle you tight, I promise.” Y/N said with a pout. She hated scary movies, she could never sleep right after them and though she would have Harry with her the whole night, she wouldn’t be okay all the other nights. “Like watching them only if I know what happens the whole time...” Y/N blushed, it was her anxiety kicking in.

“You’re a nut.” Harry snickered. His little angel. Seriously? This is how she was? He was in love. So silly, but so cute all at the same time. The movie began and he could feel her settle next to him with her soft mouth against his arm while she took a break from popcorn. Little chuckles leaving her every so often. He was hyper aware of every touch and every movement she made. It was his own personal heaven. Harry moved his arm to hang over her shoulder and played with her hair as it played, feeling relaxed. This was how college would be. He could take her on dates and feel excited and proud and not like he had to hide. No one would know he was a nerd. They’d have a unbiased opinion.

---------------

The movie was good, but Y/N was definitely still paying attention to Harry. Y/N wanted to stay aware of how he was feeling, listening to his heart beat as a constant but also feeling how relaxed his muscles seemed to be. It made her feel nice knowing her was comfortable with her, because whenever they were at school he was much more tense. At one point, Y/N turned her head to look up at him just to admire him as he focused and let out little breathy laughs at the scenes of the movie. She loved his little dimple that wasn’t leaving his face, he was in a happy and goofy mood and that was certainly her favorite. Her baby. 

Y/N leaned up and pressed a kiss to his jawline, rested her head on his shoulder again as she moved the snacks off to the side so they could properly cuddle. Her hand went up the side of his flannel, not suggesting anything, but simply resting it there out of comfort.

Harry loved when she touched him like this. So simple but I timiate in the sense that no one else would or could do that. No one would ever touch him the way he liked besides Y/N. He turned his head to kiss her temple, humming happily before settling back in. Her bare shoulder gave him more access so he trailed his fingers around the area and happily got a feel of her skin while he let her relax with him. The movie was alright but mostly he enjoyed being around his Y/N. His girl. Letting her sit with him and give the attention she craved, while being cuddled and able to hold her was his dream. All while they had been able to eat buttery popcorn. 

“D’ya think that we’ll be able to go on more dates when we leave this town? Even better ones?” He spoke his thoughts into her hair.

“Mhm.... lots.” Y/N mumbled softly, “Can do whatever we want, yeah? All kinds of dates... surprise ones, planned ones...” She felt like the two of them would be really good at keeping up with dates. The whole part of keeping a relationship health was to never stop dating. To go out and to kiss and to cuddle and have sex. Make time for each other to make each other feels special. That’s what it’s all about. She had big plans for them. An apartment for just the two of them, maybe even a pet? A wonderful group of friends, spots that they could go to and call their own? That was the dream for her, to move away from here and make a new life for the two of them that would be bigger and better. Everyone said nothing really matters in highschool. “I’m really happy I met you...” Y/N mumbled softly, knowing that technically they met a long time ago, but she was glad she got to meet this version of him. The grown version of him that she took care of and... loved.

“Yeah?” Harry smiled, leaning down to kiss her nose. “Me too. Can’t wait to get out of this town with you.” It had been unspoken that they would go together but it was more often now than before that they’d act like this. That they’d get to work with one another and move out, start a life together. To some it was probably a lot and probably something that they wouldn’t be down for. It was probably doubtful for a lot of them as well. But he knew that they could make it. He had no doubts whatsoever. He wanted to work on it with her. He was surprised when she turned in the chair to kiss him fully on the mouth but recovered quickly, hand on her waist to stabilize her. As much as he wanted her all the way in his lap, he knew he had to wait until later. He felt needy for touches and wanted so badly to get her closer.

Y/N didn’t really care about the movie now that she was having a sweet moment with her man. The kiss was maybe a bit of a surprise to him, but she knew he would melt right into it the second he realized what was happening. She smiled against his mouth as he started to relax, cupping his jaw to keep him in place. It was slow and sweet, definitely had a little bit of passion behind it but she didn’t want to work him up at the movie theater. That wouldn’t be very nice. So, she let him take control of the kiss and slowly herself down a bit, following his actions and humming against this lips. The movie would be over soon. She never wanted to push him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with and she knew he likely wanted to wait till a special night till she took his virginity. They had done just about everything else at this point so it was all up to him.

Harry loved kissing. Y/N was incredible and he could do it for hours and hours if given the chance. Her mouth was plush and warm and a little sticky from the icee and tasted sweet, making for an incredible canvas to kiss. Harry licked into her mouth a little bit, shifting their bodies so it was more comfortable to kiss. It felt incredible. Especially with how she was so accommodating when it came to Harry and his nerves. They’d done a bit of everything. Dry sex, oral, hands. Harry had a few things he really wanted to try, but he would bring them up later. His hand slipped under her dress a little bit. Not too far up, but enough to caress her thighs. They were delicious thighs, to be fair. He kissed on them a lot.

Okay, so they were fully making out in the movie theater.

 Y/N couldn’t say she minded, especially with how enthusiastic Harry seemed and how his hand so easily slipped up her dress to caress her thigh. She didn’t expect this from him but then again, he wasn’t the one who initiated the kiss. The hand that was cupping his jaw moved down to his neck, allowing the tips of her fingers to toy with his hair just a little bit. Y/N knew if they didn’t stop soon she would get too worked up and then she certainly wouldn’t let him leave without also feeling her pain. She hesitantly pulled away from his lips, feeling him chase after her lips but she hid her face in his neck and let out a whine. 

“Gotta stop before I get too excited...” Y/N mumbled against his skin, letting out a shaky breath. 

She saw him a few days ago and they hung out at his and played some games and then they sort of just played around with one another and held hands. It was sort of a lazy day. The two of them were horny buggers though, so a few days seemed like a lot.

“Sorry.” Harry wasn’t sorry though. He liked getting her excited. The fact that he ever could was a marvel to him but he liked it a lot. Especially because she was so eager all the time and let him play around with her. Spread her legs and let him go to town. “Just like lovin’ on you, baby.” His voice was a bit deeper when he spoke like that. Harry didn’t want to stop, but he would because she needed that. They couldn’t fuck in the movies. At least, not this time. They could probably get away with it at a lower class one if they really wanted to. Hmmm. The remainder of the movie though, he kept his hand on her waist and would periodically kiss her cheek or nose or temple. Barely paying attention to the screen, mostly on her.

She surely couldn’t focus now. It was a shame really, because Harry paid money for them to watch this movie and she was enjoying it. Of course, now all she wanted was to continue on kissing him and making a mess of him because he deserved it for being such a good boyfriend to her. With her past boyfriends, Y/N was never this eager to please. Y/N never wanted to kiss and lick and suck every part of someone as badly as she wanted to with Harry. Maybe it was because he was so sweet and responsive, or maybe it was because he didn’t quite understand just how sexy he was. Regardless, he made her go crazy with desire. Once the movie was finally over, Y/N let out a breath of relief. She got up and took all the snacks that they didn’t finish into her free hand so Harry could take the trash. She was itching to get back home. To strip out of these clothes and get all cozy under his covers and talk more except this time they’d be naked.

“We’ve got one more place to go.” Harry smiled mischievously. Oh, Y/N wasn’t going to want to miss it. It wasn’t going to be as grand or as showy, in fact it was more of the place and act of itself that would be the gesture, but he knew that she would like it. And the way it was presented. She looked confused but Harry wasn’t going to give. Helping her in the car he just shrugged and jogged around to the front, trying not to seem as nervous as he was as he drove to the lookout point. His parents had found it when they were younger and it overlooked the whole city. No one ever really went up there because it was up a dirt road, but Harry knew it all too well. It was a special spot for him. Y/N was confused when he said they had another spot to go to. She was a little huffy because she was horny, but she complied and got in the car, keeping an eye out for where he was taking her. 

“I’m not gonna murder you.” Harry teased again as they began up the dirt road. “I wanted to show you something.”

Y/N’s head snapped back to look at him, furrowing her brows at him jokingly. “That’s exactly what a murderer would say.” She teased, letting out a laugh so he knew she was joking. The dirt road seemed to lead to nowhere, but Harry was confidently driving up there so he clearly knew where they were going. Once they reached the top Y/N gasped, realizing just what he was showing her. It was their whole little city. Home sweet home. The place where they met and... fell in love? Was it okay for her to say that? She wasn’t sure but she was confident in her feelings. Now more than ever.

Harry was terrified but also confident. A strange mix but Y/N always made him feel a plethora of things. It wasn’t at all difficult to comprehend why. He knew that she would say yes. But the even slight prospect of his asking not being good enough was the scary part. He wanted to provide for her. To be a good partner for her. Yes, he was well aware of the fact that it was so incredibly early on for them to dream of such things but he wanted to be with her forever. His perfect girl. 

“Wait right there.” He opened the door and jogged our to her side, opening the door for her. He had backed the truck up so the back would be facing the view and they’d be able to overlook it. Knowing her well enough, he knew that this would mean far more than a poster and balloons and all her ‘friends’ being involved. She would cherish the intimacy of it. He had set up in the trunk of the car in a mess of blankets and pillows. He also had those battery operated string lights he used a remote to turn on for her. It illuminated the back and inside was a little basket with treats, and a special question she would see when she opened it. “Uh... surprise?”

Y/N melted at the sweet sentiment, her hands rested over her heart as she admired the beautiful set up. Harry had planned this all for her, he’d never done this with anyone else. It made her feel far more special knowing that this was also the first time anyone had ever done something like this for her. A moment the two of them could share as a first and hopefully the first of many. 

“Baby...” She let out a happy sigh, turning to look at him again. He looked so nervous, so worried that maybe she wouldn’t like it. How could she not? Y/N took his hands into hers and cupped his cheeks, getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. “It’s beautiful...” She whispered to him with a smile, wrapping her arms around his waist. “You really out did yourself, hmm?” She giggled, patting his side a bit. “Honestly Harry, this is so sweet....” Y/N couldn’t believe just how much she had lucked out. No one ever gave him a chance and maybe it was selfish of her to be thankful that they didn’t. She was glad that she was the one he got to experience all of these things with.

“Good. I was a little worried it would be a bit much or not enough. I dunno.” Harry said shyly. Still, he had thought of it all in his own and the place and everyone. He had won, hadn’t he? “We’re gonna hang out here for as long as you want and then go back to my place. I’ve got some treats for you.” His nerves were a wreck, helping her in the back of the truck before climbing in himself and settling next to her. “here, you choose first.” 

The basket was a pink one made to look like a watermelon, seeing as it was her favorite. The inside had tons of snacks but on top it said a simple ‘prom?’ with a receipt to the online place she had so badly wanted a strawberry dress from. It was glittery and pink and had glitter strawberries and a sweetheart neckline, but it was $500. He used money he had stashed away and easily paid for it. It hadn’t come in time but it was the thought that counted, he thinks.

Y/N giggled when he placed her up in the back, getting comfortable among the pillows and blankets. However, the note caught her eye before she could really say anything and she looked blankly at it as if she had just misread it but— 

“Really?” She asked with hopeful eyes, looking up at him with the brightest smile. “Yes! Oh my god! Yes!” Y/N nodded her head and practically climbed on top of him to attack his face with kisses. She didn’t know about the dress or about the snacks or anything yet, she was already over the moon at what her boyfriend had set up for her. It was perfect in every way. She pecked his lips a few times until she felt him push her back slowly before nodding at the basket. Confused, Y/N turned and reached to bring the basket closer to them, picking up the envelope with the order form for the dress. “No— Harry, you—” She looked at him with wide eyes. “Harry! That dress is like... crazy expensive you—” Y/N was at a loss for words. She didn’t know how she felt about him spending so much on her, especially because they were still in highschool.

He was quiet when she read it, heard pounding. But then, he was attacked by her and kissed all over, knocking the breath out of him slightly and still managing to laugh. 

She had reacted far better than Harry had imagined! He was quiet when she read it, heart pounding. But then, he was attacked by her and kissed all over, knocking the breath out of him slightly and still managing to laugh. She was giving him the best thing ever, a yes and all the loving he wanted. He had actually done it right! 

“But I adore you.” He said softly. “I don’t get my big money until m’21, but like.... I think you deserve it. You deserve to be able to be spoiled like this and given all the things you want.” He pecked her mouth a few times even with the pout she had at him spending so much money.  “Went on and on about how amazing the dress was and how badly you wanted it and I wanted to do that for you. You don’t have to wear it to prom, it can just be a normal dress for you but I wanted to offer it to you.” He murmured softly, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone.

“I know but—” Y/N huffed, accepting the few pecks that he placed against her lips. “Thank you.” Y/N said nonetheless, deciding she just needed to accept it because that dress wasn’t going back. He wouldn’t let her, of course, but she knew once she put it on she’d be thankful he got it. 

“I adore you.” She hummed season she leaned into his touch. The two of them had yet to really share their ‘I love yous’ so their expressions of adoration was what they settled with. “I really appreciate all of this, H... and just... everything you do for me, you’re so sweet... never let me forget how you feel and I never want to.” He tried so hard for her, always tried to make her the happiest girl alive, constantly praised her and even pushed his boundaries of comfort for her. “And I know I said it before but... you look really nice. Not that you don’t look nice everyday but... you look so good.”

“Thank you.” Harry blushed slightly as he felt her look him over. Still, he was caught off guard by how loving and sweet she truly could be. He loved being able to impress her. “You always look incredible. I think you’ll kill me prom night.” His smiled softened. “I.... never planned on going. It never felt right until you came along and genuinely wanted to be with me. Each bit of it made so much more sense as it went on. I knew we had to make it a good night for us both. But look more in there. I got snacks. Seriously.” He lightened the mood knowing there were a plethora of treats in there. Her favorites. White cheddar popcorn and chocolate covered pretzels, more sour watermelon sugar gummies, the works. “I have my laptop and... I have movies downloaded so you can choose one. Or we can sit and just look at our town and like… kiss. I never object to that.”

“You know we won’t end up watching that movie.” Y/N chuckled, staying put in his lap as she went to open some snacks for them to eat. “We graduate in just a few months...” Y/N let out a sigh, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders. “Have you um... have you thought about where you’re going to go in the fall?” She knew that the two of them had discussed it previously, but the undertone was much more different now. She handed him the bag of popcorn for him to take some while she went to bust open the sour gummies, trying to distract herself from the answer he was going to give. Y/N had a few ideas for college in her mind and obviously if they didn’t have to separate that would be ideal. She didn’t want to make him feel like she was choosing a school just because of him, but she was. “Cause like... I um... I don’t know if I could be away from you for long.” She said shyly, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. Maybe for some people it could feel a bit odd, but she had just gotten with him! She wanted to be with him all the time.

“Yeah? You want to be close?” Harry smiled. Good. He didn’t want to seem too clingy but he wanted to be around her 24/7 as well. They’d just gotten together and they got on so perfectly, it would be nearly criminal to separate them now! “Where were you thinking of going?” He stroked a bit of hair out of her face. “I was waiting a bit to see where you were headed before I made a sound decision. I didn’t want to seem clingy but I want to be at least in a place where we can be together. Same area.” Ideally same town and college and they could just... live it up together. Truly. “I do want to live off of campus wherever I go so.... if you aren’t going to where I am or want to... you can always just stay with me. Or whatever you want. I dunno.” He felt shy asking her about thar or implying she moved in with him when they didn’t even know options yet.

“Yeah?” Y/N raised her brows at his preposition, “cause, I was thinking... yeah that’d be nice.” She smiled at him so hard her cheeks hurt. “I know we said it was between Princeton and Yale... and I dunno, Princeton seems nice... it’s a cute town. Sure New Jersey isn’t great but.. at least it’s close to a beach and two major cities.” She wanted an adventure in college, but nothing would be complete without Harry in her book. Now that she had life with him she didn’t want to imagine it without. High school sweethearts often didn’t last but she could see herself with Harry for the long haul. “Have a fresh start... just, enjoy my life and have fun.” Y/N could already see them moving into a cute little apartment, maybe getting a pet?

“I know that a lot of people say like... don’t make sacrifices for a high school romance but it feels like so much more. I don’t think I would be upset or have it viewed as a sacrifice if it meant I get to be happy, finally.” Harry admitted. Y/N meant so much to him. He understood the ways that people got and how they would underestimate the fact that he was pretty positive he had met his soul mate but he was going to do this with her. “Yeah... I think that, we should see what our options are. I have offers for both so I just... I dunno. I want to be near tou.” He spoke softly. “It’ll feel like a real fresh start. Just us. Feel like adults and figure it out on our own. It’ll be good, I think. None of the nervousness we both have around here. It’s just us and we can make our lives what we actually want.”

Y/N couldn’t help but feel excitement bubble up at the thought of them being free. No more petty high school drama, no more waiting till the perfect time to see each other. The two of them, under one roof, sharing a bed together, completely and utterly in love. 

“I’d love that...” She breathed out with a small smile. “Just, yeah... let me know what you’re thinking, I don’t mind either or I also just wanna be with you.” Y/N let out a hum towards the end, cupping the side of his neck and letting her thumb brush against his jawline. “Thank you for tonight... for the movie, for this... it’s... it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Y/N cooed, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. It was a sweet gesture, but she could see from the look on his face that he was expecting a proper kiss.

“Of course. I care about you so much.” Harry licked over his lip. All he wanted was her. Maybe it was the die hard romantic in him but he wanted her and to be happy with one another. That’s his goal. “Can we lay down for a bit? I just... I have to tell you something.” He felt his stomach roll in nerves because he wasn’t sure exactly what she would think about this but he was hopeful. So hopeful. “I was just... thinking a lot lately. About you. How much you mean to me.” He reaches over and brushed s but of her hair to the side. “How much I really, really like you. And I didn’t know if I was rushing this or not but it’s been a bit and I really think I can see us together for a long time.” He let out a shaky breath. “Is that something you see too? Like... we aren’t just chatting shit about going to the same places? You genuinely want to be with me right?” Ther was a bit of nervousness to his voice. “I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe that you’re mine and that you want to be with me. It’s amazing that you like me.”

“No, no... Harry...” Y/N frowned, moving her body closer to his the second she felt the hint of nervousness. “Of course I’m serious about us. I would never lead you on like that.” She said and attempted to soothe him, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his nose. “I know you still get nervous about these things and I’ll always be there to reassure you that I feel the way you do...” She spoke softly, “just wish there was more I could do for you to never have to wonder.” Y/N took a moment to think, watching his eyes carefully. She had been seeing him for a few months now, things were getting prettying serious and she didn’t see them ending anytime soon. She didn’t want to be the first to drop the L bomb, but it was practically on the tip of her tongue. “I want to be with you... for as long as you’ll have me.” Y/N smiled, feeling heat spread across her cheeks. “I love your goofy smile and the random fun facts you tell me everyday. I love the way you say my name when you’re annoyed with me. I love how you always know what I’m in the mood to eat. I love just about everything about you.”

“Okay... good.” Harry murmured, feeling his body settle with the nerves. He had been worried himself, that she wouldn’t want to do it for real but truly, she did. She was amazing. “I’m really glad that you feel that way cause... I dunno, I would be scared if you didn’t want that too.” He whispered. “I feel so much for you. So strongly. You’re just... incredible, Y/N. All I’ve ever wanted. My crush was so big and went on for so long, and now you’re here and you’ve made me gain so much confidence...” He swallowed, feeling hot around the collar. “Is it too early to say that I think m’falling in love with you? That I do?” He let it sit in the air for a moment. “I don’t truly know what love is yet. But I feel like.... the way I’ve been feeling and what I feel around you is what it would be. You don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel it or a thing but I was just... wanting to ask. To tell you.” He stuttered.

The smile that spread across Y/N’s face gave it all away. She couldn’t contain her happiness. She knew for a fact she had never felt this way about anyone in her life, knew that after getting to know him this school year and properly getting to know him these past few months, she could safely say she was falling for him. She felt like she had fallen already and she wasn’t afraid to say it. 

“I’ve definitely fallen for you... I feel like I have. You make me so happy and I’m so proud to be with you and show you off and there isn’t a moment that passes where I don’t think about you or how you are.” She said softly, “always want to be around you, always want to kiss you and make you smile... fuck— and if anyone ever tries to say anything negative about you I’ll rip them a knew one I swear it!” Y/N couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the end, overwhelmed with happiness. “I love you, Harry. I really do.”

“Yeah?” Harry felt his heart swell with happiness. Fuck. He was so happy. She loved him too? She wanted him? It was exactly what he had always dreamed of. He gently pulled her towards him and kissed her. It wasn’t a hot kiss, but passionate. He was passionate about her. About them. He wanted her to feel and understand just how much he adored her. Because he did, so fuckinf much. He needed her. Wanted to make sure she was aware of the fact he would do anything for them. “I love you too, baby. So much.” He peppered kisses all around her face, smiling when she began to giggle. His thin fingers wrapped over her waist and he nuzzled his nose against hers like a puppy before pecking her lips again..“So it’s real then. You love me and I love you... and we’re gonna be together forever?” He hummed, happy to feel her rub her nose back against his. “M’gonna make sure I do everything in my power to keep this. Keep you.”

“Forever and ever.” Y/N hummed back, rubbing her nose against his once again before nuzzling her face into his neck. She pressed a few kisses to the soft skin and let out a happy sigh. Yes, forever is a big word when you’re in highschool, she knew that. Some could argue that they didn’t know what it meant to be in a proper relationship, it had only been a bit. However, she knew that she had to stay true to her feelings and take things day by day with Harry. She could genuinely see a future with him and she didn’t see why it was such a big deal. Sometimes highschool sweethearts really are meant to be, Y/N felt like their chances were pretty good. 

“I’m so excited. For prom, for college, for us.” Y/N mumbled against his skin, “it’s going to be so fun. Can just be us two..” She was lucky that they lived so close to each other, she wouldn’t know what to do if they couldn’t see each other as often as they did.

It was. It was going to be amazing and he would make sure they both had that new fresh start. A chance to make new friends. A chance to be who they truly wanted and didn’t have to worry about anything else wirh. 

“I can’t wait to just be alone with you. Have you stay with me.” Harry brushes some hair away from her and tried to keep her clear. He liked to groom her in that sense, with love. Keep her comfortable. “You’re stayin’ over Tonight, right? Oh wait, yeah.. You dropped off your bag.” He didn’t want to go to sleep without her but he could feel her getting sleepy. “Guess we can head on home then? and bring your prom prize up to my room to snack on tomorrow, hm?” He questioned. “Did y’want to go to the mall with me tomorrow? I preordered the new game at the store. Can get you the pretzel nuggets you like.”

“Mhm...” Y/N hummed, letting out a happy sigh against him. “I’m a minute!” She didn’t exactly want to let go just yet, she was so comfortable and this moment was far too perfect and peaceful. She’d remember this spot forever, the place where he asked her to prom and told her he loved her. With a few whines of disapproval, Y/N pulled back from him and helped Harry clean up the back of the truck so that they could place everything in the back and head home. The two of them practically functioned like a married off couple, they liked staying in and doing mundane things. It was exciting to Y/N though, she had the love of her life with her after all. 

“Wait, we didn’t even get any pictures from tonight.” Y/N pouted, looking up at him with a pout. “Hold this!” She giggled, handing him the basket and the prom note so she could take a photo and keep the memory with her forever.

“Oh! Okay?” Harry laughed as she took the photos. “I didn’t think about that. I just knew that you wouldn’t want the huge prom promposal with the balloons and marching band and stuff.” She wasn’t shy but that amount of attention would make her uncomfortable and he knew that. But a sentimental piece would be much more meaningful. He wanted that bit of it all. He let her take as many as she wanted before letting her hold the basket and her beaming smile as he took them of her. It ended with him kissing her lips over and over again. “Love you so much, Y/N. My girl.” He sighed happily against her mouth. “Dunno what I would do without you.” And he knew he wouldn’t ever find out.

“I love you more!” She told him and gave him a few more kisses before climbing in the car excitedly. Y/N was ready to get to his house so they could change and get all cozy and kiss some more. She liked the way their relationship never put pressure into doing things that seemed unnatural. They always went at their pace regardless of what people said, besides, what they did was their business. 

While on the ride home Y/N smiles at the photos she took. Harry was genuinely so cute and he looked extremely attractive today, she decided to make a little post as all the other girls did for their promposals. She settled on a picture of him with the basket, then a picture of them kissing. 

‘couldn’t say no to an offer this sweet 🥺 love you baby💓’ 

Her phone practically blew up afterwards too. It made her laugh a little because she got so many questions asking who it was as if it wasn’t clear who it was. Harry. Her sweet angel boy.

Harry was happy as he drove home. The radio was on low and the windows opened a bit, Y/N leaning her head against his arm and their hands held. Driving with one hand was easy but she was being so cute, singing softly to the music and tracing his knuckles that he just wanted to kiss the hell out of her. She loved him. This creature, with her softness and vulnerability she showed him? Loved him. It was a given that he loved her but even more right now, he was so utterly shocked and happy about the fact that his affection was so swiftly returned. 

He loved her. 

She loved him. 

Wow.

--------------------------------------------------

A/N: We love these too so much omg... so yes, we have one more part planned, meet the parents, prom... very eventful. Can anyone guess what else we have for these two? could it be another series perhaps 👀 - n + d

let us know what you think!

masterlist

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

[twdbegins]

Gone From You

__

Simon x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language, smut.

A/N: I’m writing in third person nowwwwww. Changing it upppppp.

Word Count: 2,161

“You know I could never sleep without you.”

__

He cursed under his breath for the millionth time that day. Why couldn’t people just do as they were told? He felt like he was constantly having to clean up other people’s messes just to keep things from totally falling apart. He expected there to be mistakes and hiccups along the way. That was only natural. Lately, though, it seemed that EVERYONE was fucking EVERYTHING up. The ones who were never an issue and always did their work well were suddenly falling short and causing chaos. Simon wasn’t trying to be the kind of guy that wanted to do everything on his own because he felt like he was the only one competent enough to do it. But sometimes it was easier to do things himself to assure they would get done right. He had been running himself busy to the bone, because he really cared about this place and wanted it to thrive. 

She didn’t like watching him do this to himself. He was totally overwhelming and overworking himself to the point where he was tired in all aspects. He was a hard worker for sure and she respected that about him. She would never discourage his work ethic, but what he was doing wasn’t healthy at all. He needed a break and needed to take time to think about better ways to do his job. However, she realized that getting this through his head would be a challenge. He straggled into his room late one night, already pissed off and not really in the mood to talk about work.

She wouldn’t have brought it up if she had realized just how upset he was. But like the efficiently sneaky guy he was, he didn’t exactly make his frustration obvious to her. She mentioned it calmly and sweetly, but didn’t get the response she expected;

“Simon,” She called; “I’m not sure that the way you’re handling these things is right.”

He yanked his boots off and angrily tossed them into the corner of the room. He scoffed and shook his head incredulously;

“Oh, great. Now my girlfriend is telling me how to do my job too.” He sneered.

Her eyes widened slightly at that. That wasn’t what she was trying to do. She didn’t want to aggravate him any further, but he needed to hear what she was saying;

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m really worried about you,” She confessed; “You’re running yourself dry and I just don’t want to see you completely stress yourself out.”

The tips of his ears went red as his blood pressure continued to rise. He felt like everybody was against him and that he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wasn’t angry at her. She knew this, which is how she kept her patience. He desperately needed to talk about his feelings, but he didn’t know how to. He was only taking his anger out on her because she was there.

“Maybe I should worry about myself then, yeah?” He growled.

She tried her best not to take it personally. He needed time to process everything and cool off. That didn’t make his demeanor and words hurt any less. She went quiet for the time being. She knew better than to say anything else. He slid into bed shortly after, a deep sigh escaping his chest. He rested one of his arms over his eyes to keep any remaining light from irritating his sudden headache any more.

He knew deep down that he wasn’t being right to her. She cared about him and wanted him to be happy. It wasn’t fair that he was taking his own problems out on her. Against her head’s wishes, she figured it would be best if he was alone tonight. She waited a few more moments before swinging her feet over the side of the bed. She changed back into her clothes that she had been wearing earlier. He heard her soft racket and removed his arm to look at her;

“Where are you going?” He asked, a little less harshly than before.

She looked back to him, keeping her same soft tone;

“I’m, uh, going to go check on some stuff in the infirmary,” She said pushing her feet into her boots; “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He felt guilty suddenly. He didn’t mean to push her away the way he had been the last month or so. She was the last person he wanted to be on bad terms with. He sat up quickly and called for her;

“[Y/N], wait. I’m-” 

She was already out the door and on her way down the hall by the time he had a chance to get a sentence out. Another deep sigh sounded from his lungs, but for a different reason. He wasn’t being fair to her. He suddenly realized how his selfishness and pent up frustration was affecting the ones closest to him. He was always so quick to take it out on those around him. He considered it a fatal flaw of sorts. He didn’t waste much time before getting out of bed again and also re-dressing himself. He wasn’t going to let this go on. He owed her an apology and an explanation.

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he walked down the desolate hallway. It was still and quiet during the late night hours, something he hadn’t been accustomed to in the last several weeks. He thought of her as he continued to walk quietly around the Sanctuary to the infirmary. The way she cared for him at all times of the day and how she was always there for him even when he probably didn’t deserve him. She always sought out and focused on the more pleasurable things about him. Like here he was now, being an absolute jerk to her and she was still patient enough to understand that he wasn’t angry at her. 

He loved her to an extent that he could barely comprehend, which was another reason why he felt a guilt ridden pit in his stomach as he grew closer to where she was.

He saw her in the wheeled chair that she kept in the room, she spun herself glacially from side to side as her eyes scanned each line in the book she was reading. Her head rested in her hand, unbothered and unaware of him standing in the entranceway. He watched her for a moment or so before easily saying her name to get her attention. Her head snapped up and her gaze averted to him. Her eyes were full of surprise at the sight of her boyfriend who she had just left back in her bedroom just a few moments ago. She was sure he would’ve fallen asleep by now. She closed the cover of her book and kept her stare on him.

“Hey.” He said somewhat awkwardly.

“Hi,” She replied back; “I figured you’d be asleep by now.”

He shrugged, his signature grin appearing on his face;

“Come on now. You know me better than that,” He said entering the room fully, closing the door behind him; “You know I could never sleep without you.”

She returned a warm smile at his remark. He always said he slept better when he was with her. She stayed in her seat, trying to gauge his mood. She didn’t want to upset him further by crowding him. He leaned against the counter where she kept supplies in the cabinets above it, just a few feet from her. He wasn’t exactly sure of what to say, but he had to say something.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” He apologized in his deep, low voice.

She felt a wave of warmth wash through her. It was a relief to hear him say those words. She knew he had a lot going on that didn’t have to do with her. Still, it was nice to confirm that he really wasn’t upset with her.

“It’s okay, Si. Don’t worry about it.” She said finally standing from her chair and walking over to him.

He shook his head;

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t ever talk to you like that. You don’t deserve that.” He noted.

She wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his chest and looking up at him. 

“You’re a man under a lot of pressure right now. You can only take so much,” She assured him; “I understand that.”

“Pressure or not, it doesn’t make it right for me to push you away like that and then get angry when you reach out to me,” He explained; “I’ve missed you.”

She turned her head just slightly so her head was tilted as she continued to look up at him. Oh, that face she always made when she was listening closely to him made him weak in the knees. He kissed her forehead as he let his own arms drape around her. He had so missed holding her in these moments where it was just the two of them. Even if it had only been a month or so without her, when it came to love, it felt like an eternity. 

“You know I care about you, right?” He asked, letting his fingers gently drag across her head and massage her scalp.

She hummed in response;

“Yeah. Of course I do.” 

He smiled again and kept her body close to his;

“Good, because I don’t ever want you to forget that I do care about you and I love you endlessly. You’re not any part of the reason I’ve been stressed out lately.” He purred.

She told him that she loved him back between kisses, something she had definitely missed recently. His slow kisses traveled down her neck, the sound of her whimpers and soft gasps beginning to stimulate him. She sank down to her knees and before he knew it, her nimble fingers were unbuckling his belt the way she had done dozens of times before. His heart began to race and his breathing quickened at the feel of her hands pulling his boxers to the floor to pool around his feet. He sprung free and forth in front of her, a devious smirk forming on her face. Instinctively, his hand went to the back of her head and wrapped gingerly into her hair;

“Oh, baby. You don’t have to-” 

A throaty moan flowed from his chest as she cut him off by wrapping her lips around his tip. She pushed her head forward and drew it back slowly a few times, enough to get him riled up before releasing him for a moment;

“You really want to talk yourself out of this?” She coyly spoke.

He only shook his head with shallow breaths, his hand persuading her head back to his crotch. She took him into her mouth again, licking a solid stripe from the shaft to the tip before he pulled out and slammed back into her throat. He pulled her head back enough to where she could do as she pleased, but he had enough leeway to keep himself grounded. 

He pushed back in, hitting her reflex as he usually did, but she knew to swallow around him and push through it. She looked up at him and his head had fallen back against one of the cabinets. His soft groans and moans were all she needed to hear to know to continue her oral ministrations. He eventually looked down at her, his chest fluttering and his voice ringing out;

“You’re always so good. So pretty on your knees for me...” He breathed out.

She couldn’t help but let out her own moan at that, he continued to help to pull in and out of her mouth. He fucking loved her. Not just in moments like this, because she was so much more to him than a good blowjob giver. Although, she was that too. 

She knew he was close, the slight twitch that she felt was a sign of that. They knew each other’s signals and signs backwards and forwards. It wasn’t like this was their first time together. It surely wouldn’t be the last. 

“God...you’re such a good girl,” He gasped, almost crying out; “Fuck...”

She felt his release hit the back of her throat, his eyes rolling back for a few seconds as he came in her mouth. She grunted lightly at the sudden sensation, but swallowed all of him and leaned back on her heels and wiped at her slightly teary eyes and swollen lips. She gave him a second to recover, his hand softly gripping her arm to bring her up to him;

“Come here.” He pulled her to him once more, kissing her tenderly and passionately.

She giggled against him and he could feel a little bit of the tension had gone. He knew one thing for damn sure.

He wasn’t going to leave her like that ever again.

[vsquadgoals]

Little Miracle (H.H)

Warning: Mentions of infertility, and IVF

Summary: Y/n telling her fiance Heath that she’s pregnant. 

5 Days... 5 days whole days. Y/n was supposed to get her period 5 days ago. Her and her fiancé Heath have been trying to have a baby for almost a year with no luck and it was starting to really worry Y/n, until now. Y/n was in the guest bathroom with a camera propped up on the bathroom counter while she sat on the floor in front of it. “Hi everyone. I know what you’re thinking why are you on the bathroom floor and where is Heath?” She took breath tears prickling in her eyes. “So, Heath and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now and I’ve filmed intros like this a million times but you’ve never seen them because it didn’t turn out the way we would have hoped. So, if you’re watching this video then that means my feelings are real.” She wiped a tear that fell from her eye. “My period is 5 days late, and I’ve been completely exhausted for about a week now but those are my only symptoms.” Y/n pauses for a second overwhelmed by her emotions. She puts her forehead against her knees that she’s been holding to her chest and a few sobs leave her lips. When she looks back at the camera her eyes are red, and her face is a little flushed. She wipes her face with her t shirt before continuing. “I’m in the guest bathroom because it’s very early and Heath is still sleeping so I don’t want him to hear me because if I am pregnant, I want to surprise him. So,” She checks her phone, “I have another minute on my timer until I can look at the test.” She runs her fingers through her hair. “This has been really hard on us. When you’re trying to start a family with the person you love and it’s just not happening, but you see it happening for so many other people it breaks your heart and its very discouraging. Heath and I are very healthy people, we take good care of our bodies and we’ve been doing everything that we can to try to make it happen without having to get help.” Tears are now streaming down Y/n’s cheeks and she doesn’t bother to stop them anymore. “It’s also hard when your family and friends are constantly asking you ‘So, when are you guys going to have a baby?’ but it’s not their fault, they’re just excited and they know how badly we want to start our family. But if it doesn’t happen for us this month we’re going to go to the doctors and start IVF treatments.” She has to stop again sobs leaving her lips. She closes her eyes and puts her head against the wall behind her. “Please, Please.” She whispers to herself. “Please let this be positive.” Y/n sighs and wipes her eyes and bites her lip when her timer chirps quietly next to her, she turns off the timer and looks at the camera and tries her best to smile. “I guess it’s time, here goes nothing.” She takes a deep breath and picks up the test closing her eyes. She says a few silent prayers and decides to show the camera first, she places the test in front of the camera not able to see the results because she has the viewfinder closed. She takes a few more breathes before turning the test around and looking at it herself.  

Y/n breaks down immediately, she’s sobbing on the bathroom floor her hand that isn’t holding the test clamps over her mouth trying to stay quiet. She composes herself as much as possible before looking back at the camera tears still streaming uncontrollably down her face. “It’s positive.” She whispers biting her lip to keep it from quivering. “Oh my gosh.” She breathes smiling wide. “Oh my gosh how am I going to tell Heath?” She giggles and shakes her head holding the test close to her chest a few more sobs slipping past her lips. She looks at the camera. “Heath, I love you so much Bear, you’re going to be the best daddy in the whole world.” She kisses the lens of the camera before turning it off. Y/n sits on the bathroom floor staring at the test tears pouring down her cheeks until her legs go numb. She finally stands and sighs, she splashes her face with cold water and tries to clean herself up before she leaves the bathroom. She hides the test under the sink in the guest bathroom, somewhere Heath would never find it. When y/n comes out of the bathroom she puts her camera back on the counter, thankfully she had her own so Heath would never look through it and find the footage.  

Y/n is standing in her and Heath’s shared walk in closet picking out clothes for the day when Heath walks in, he wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her shoulder. “Morning Bear.” She says smiling trying to act as normal as possible. “Morning.” He mumbles against her shoulder his voice still deep from sleep. “We have the podcast to do later right?” She asks as she picks out a plain white t shirt and a pair of lose fitting boyfriend jeans to wear today. Heath let’s go of her and nods starting to pick out his own outfit for the day. Heath picked out his usual outfit, a t shirt and a pair of shorts. “So, I’m gonna run a few errands before the podcast but I’ll be back in time for it.” Y/n says before kissing Heaths cheek and heading toward the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. Heath followed behind her. “Want me to come with you?” He asks as she gets into the shower, Y/n mentally cursed herself trying to come up with an excuse for why she had to go alone. “Um... no that’s okay, Zane and Matt usually come early to hangout before the podcast so you should be here because I don’t know how long It’ll take.” She says loud enough for him to hear her over the shower. Heath nods and starts getting ready for the day.  

It was about an hour later when Y/n is done getting ready, she finds Heath in his office doing some stuff on his computer. Y/n sits on his lap and kisses his lips, Heath wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her back smiling against her lips. “I’ll be back in time for the podcast I promise.” She says after they separate from the kiss. Heath nods and pecks her lips a few more times. “Be safe cutie. I’ll see you soon.” Heath says as she leaves the office. “I love you bear.” She calls over her shoulder hearing a faint “I love you too.” from Heath. Y/n lets out a sigh of relief, she grabs her purse and camera from the counter before she leaves the house closing the front door behind her. Once she was in her Jeep, she props the camera on her dashboard and turns it on starting to record. She puts her seatbelt on and smiles at the camera before backing out of the driveway and heading toward Target.  

“Well hello again friends.” She says talking to the camera keeping her eyes on the road. “I’m back and a lot more composed then the last time you saw me which was a few hours ago. I’m still in shock I think, I also am the only person that knows so it doesn’t feel real yet.” She bites her lip and smiles shaking her head. “I’m on my way to Target, Heath is still at home, today is a podcast filming day so I told him to stay home while I went to the store. I’m going to get him the stuff to surprise him and tell him that he’s going to be a daddy.” She squeals and smiles wide super excited. “So, my plan is to get a box and to put little baby shoes or something in it with a t shirt that says ‘Papa Bear’ with the pregnancy test and a note that says, ‘Hey dad! Due date to be determined.’ Hopefully I’ll be able to get everything at Target cause I need to get back to film the podcast. I’m also going to get myself a t shirt that says, ‘Mama Bear’.” Y/n can’t wipe the smile off of her face as she talks to the camera. “I will check back in with you all at Target.” She turns off the camera and puts it into her purse.  

Y/n climbs back into her Jeep after leaving Target with all of her bags. She puts the camera back on the dashboard and starts filming. “So, I tried to film inside of Target and got yelled at of course.” She rolls her eyes and chuckles. “So, I’ll show you everything I got, thankfully they had everything.” She holds up the two t shirts one by one, before holding up a pair of brown bear baby booties and squealing. “Aren’t these the cutest things you’ve ever seen?!” She asks excited. “And then I just got a little blank index card and some markers to write the note and I got the box, and I have the test at home.” She explains and smiles wide into the camera. “It’s going to be so cute right?” Y/n sighs happily. “I can’t believe this is finally happening.” She says biting her lip not wanting to cry again, she fans her face and giggles. “I’ve already cried WAY too much in this video!” She says shaking her head. “Welp! I think I’ll try to film the box all put together before I surprise Heath later tonight. If I don’t explode from keeping this to myself before then.” She shuts the camera off and takes the time now to set most of the box up, so she doesn’t have to do too much at home and risk Heath walking in on her. She writes the note, sets up the box placing the ‘Papa Bear’ t shirt on the bottom, the baby booties on top with the note and then she just had to add the pregnancy test. Y/n also got some toiletries stuff that they needed at the house and a few groceries just so it didn’t look suspicious when she came home empty handed.  

Y/n put the box into the Target bag with her t shirt and put it on the floor of the passenger seat. She called Heath once she pulled out of the parking space. “Hey Y/n/n.” He said once he answered the phone. Y/n smiled, “Hi bear, I should be home shortly. Are Zane and Matt there yet?” She asks praying they were so it would distract Heath a little when she got to the house. “HEY BABY!!!!” She heard Zane yelling in the background causing her to giggle. “Does that answer your question?” She giggles again. “Yes. Okay well I should be home very soon. I just have to put the groceries and stuff away before we can start recording when I get home.” She tells him hoping it’ll buy her some time to finish the box and hide it when she got back. “Okay sounds good. I love you; I’ll see you soon.” “I love you too Bear.” She says before he hangs up the phone.  

Y/n brings all the bags inside leaving the one with the box for last, she brings it into the guest bathroom upstairs along with a package of toilet paper and puts the pregnancy test she had hidden in there in the box, she turns her camera on and films the box whispering to the camera. “So, this is the finished product.”

She whispers before hiding it and putting some of the toilet paper in there and putting the rest in their bathroom connected to their bedroom. She makes her way back downstairs and puts the rest of the stuff away before going to the podcast room to meet with the boys. “Sorry to keep you guys waiting.” She says hugging Zane and Matt before kissing Heath’s lips quickly. “No problem y/n/n.” Heath says as she sets up the audio and Matt sets up the cameras making sure they’re all recording and have enough space on the memory card. Once everything is set up and mics are checked Y/n smiles at Heath and Zane. “We’re ready and recording.” She says causing them to smile and nod starting their intro and the ball is rolling. It takes every bone in her body to not say anything about being pregnant the whole podcast even when Matt brings it up asking the two of them when they’re going to have a baby. The question causes Heath to frown and shrug. “We’re trying guys, we have been for a while. Hopefully it happens soon, and we don’t have to go through IVF.” He says before glancing over at Y/n giving her a sad smile. “It’ll happen soon I hope, I just don’t want to do IVF because it’s so hard on your body and it makes it so much more stressful. My cousin did it and it worked thankfully but she said it was awful and a very tiring, and hard process.” Y/n says shrugging biting her lip. Matt and Zane frown nodding before changing the subject not wanting to upset the couple. Heath blows Y/n a kiss and she smiles returning the gesture.

Finally, the podcast is over, and they turn off all the equipment and Y/n takes the memory cards from the cameras and sends the audio to her computer in the office so she can edit the podcast tomorrow. Matt and Zane hang around and they have dinner together, it’s around 8:30 when the boys finally leave the house.  Heath is downstairs cleaning everything up while Y/n is upstairs, her heart is racing she’s so nervous. She sets up the camera in their bedroom where Heath won’t see it and gets the box from the bathroom along with the t shirt she got herself which she hides in their closet. Once everything is set up how she wants it and she presses record on the camera she goes to the top of the stairs. “Bear? Can you come to the bedroom?” Heath makes his way to the bedroom where Y/n is standing holding the box behind her back. “Sit on the bed.” She says biting her lip nervously. “What’s going on?” He chuckles sitting on the bed. “I saw something at the store, and I had to get it for you.” She tells him handing him the box which is has a small piece of tape keeping it closed. “Don’t shake it.” She warns when he takes it. Heath chuckles and smiles at her when she sits on the bed making sure not to get in the way of the camera which she hopes Heath hasn’t noticed, but his eyes have been glued to her since he came into the bedroom.  

“Y/n, you know you never have to get me anything.” he says pecking her lips, she smiles and shakes her head. “You’re going to love this, I promise. Now open it already.” She says giggling. Heath rolls his eyes and opens the box, his heart immediately starts racing and tears are streaming down his face, he looks at Y/n who’s already practically sobbing. “Really?” He whispers small sobs escaping his lips. Y/n smiles through her tears and nods her head. “I found out this morning.” She says her voice cracking a little. Heath pulls her onto his lap and buries his face into her chest sobbing. They stay like that for a while, just holding each other and crying. “How did you keep this to yourself all day?” He finally asks looking up at her. She shakes her head and shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s been killing me, and then when Matt brought it up earlier, I thought I was going to explode, especially how sad you got.” Y/n says giggling and pecking Heath’s lips. Heath picks up the ‘papa bear’ shirt and smiles wide. “I love this.” Y/n giggles and climbs off his lap and grabs hers from the closet and holds it up showing him when she gets back to the bed. Heath smiles wide and shakes his head. “That’s so god damn adorable.” He puts the shirt down and pulls her close by her hips and kisses her belly. “Do you know how long we’ve been waiting for you little one.” He says against her still very unpregnant looking belly, but it still causes her eyes to fill with tears. Y/n smiles and pulls away from his grasp and gets the camera from its hiding spot and points it toward her fiancé. “So, tell the people how you’re feeling about becoming a dad.” she says smirking behind the camera at his surprised look. “You filmed that? God, I knew I was marrying you for a reason.” He teases causing the two of them to chuckle. “I’m so excited, I can’t wait to have a family with the love of my life.” Heath says looking more at her then the camera. “I love you bear” she says turning the camera off after he says it back.  

They lay in the bed holding each other for a while tears coming every once and a while. Heath is the first one to break the silence. “So, if you recorded this, did you record you finding out?” he asks looking down at her. Y/n nods which causes Heath to smile wide. “Can we watch it? I wanna see.” Y/n nods again. “Yeah sure. It’s a lot of crying though.” She says warning him as she takes her camera and they go into the office. Heath sits at the desk and Y/n sits on his lap plugging in the memory card and bringing up the footage from this morning. “I don’t know how much of it I’ll put in, its long and really a lot.” Heath nods and kisses her shoulder. “Whatever you’re comfortable with mama.” He says the name causing her to smile wide. Once she has the video pulled up, she presses play and leans back into Heath whose arms are wrapped tightly around her waist while he watches.  

Heath has tears streaming down his face as he watches the pain in his fiancé's eyes in the beginning of the video, he of course knew that it was hard on her trying to get pregnant, but he didn’t realize how badly she was hurting. He also had no idea how many times she had filmed herself taking tests and them being negative, she always took tests without Heath because she wanted to surprise him. Most of the time she was alone except one time she took one and Kristen was with her, the two of them cried together for almost an hour. Kristen had been Y/n’s saving grace during this year, she was always there for her to comfort her and give her someone to talk to. Y/n would talk to Heath, but she knew it was hard for him too, so she never wanted to make things worse or risk him wanting to give up. Heath holds her tighter; he watches her hold the positive test up to the camera and you can very clearly see two dark pink lines. “Glad that was in focus.” She mumbles causing Heath to chuckle a little. He cries as he watches her reaction after seeing the test, all of the sadness leaving her body and pure happiness and relief replacing it.  

Y/n closes the video when it ends and takes out the card putting it back in her camera. “You have to post the whole thing.” Heath tells her wiping his face with his hands. Y/n looks at him confused. “You think so?” Heath nods and kisses her shoulder. “I think it will help a lot of people, let them know that if they’re going through something similar, they aren’t alone.” Heath explains, Y/n nods and kisses Heath. “You’re right, I love you.” She whispers against his lips. He cups her cheek and smiles. “I love you more. Now let’s go get some sleep.” He turns off the computer before standing from the chair picking Y/n up bridal style causing her to giggle the whole way to their bedroom, he finally puts her down once they’re in the room allowing her to do her nighttime routine. Heath is in bed when she finally finishes and lays next to him. Heath wraps his arms around her and lays his head on her stomach. “I can’t wait to meet you little one. I’m going to be the best dad I possibly can.” He says softly kissing her stomach. Y/n smiles wide and runs her hands through Heaths hair as he whispers to their little miracle growing inside of her.  

A/n: Let me know if you guys want this to me a series or something! I kinda am obsessed and wanna cry after writing this. 

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Guys, I might have a problem. 

So, awhile back I mentioned feeling vindicated in cutting ties a little over 2 years ago with a friend who was... honestly awful. Her husband (soon to be ex) reached out because he couldn’t think of anyone else to turn to. She had isolated him from most of his friends and he needed someone to be bluntly honest with him and needed someone who knew her from before they met. He remembered what my personality was like and that I had expressed sadness about the fact that in cutting ties with her, I’d also had to cut ties with him and their daughter, who I had babysat A LOT the first year of her life, and he knew that if I was willing to talk, I was the person for the job since everyone else who had known her previously was too scared of incurring her wrath to even talk to him at all. 

We will call him... Lou and her... Lena. (obviously not real names because I never use real names up in this bitch. i do what i want and what i want is to be fairly anonymous.)

So Lou and I have been talking for about 2 weeks, maybe 3. He’s been telling me things and asking my opinion or perspective or just asking things about who she was during the 3 or 4 years I knew her prior to him being around. It’s honestly been eye opening on both sides. More so for him because he’s getting a look into her mind and motivations without the filter of love making it fuzzy or unclear. For me, I’m just learning about things that were happening when I wasn’t around that pertained to me. I feel for the guy because he’s realizing that he didn’t really know or see a lot of who she was, and a lot of it is really horrifying. He’s also been asking me for advice on how to handle certain situations because she is an extremely manipulative narcissist, who resorts to bullying/strong arming people into getting her way when manipulation doesn’t work. He’s basically been her doormat for the last 4 or 5 years, so he has no idea how to defend himself against that, especially since she’s going full nuclear because I think this is one of the VERY few situations in her 31 or 32 years of life where she has to actually face the consequences of her actions and that she can’t manipulate, bully, or get her rich parents to bail her out. 

And I’ve always enjoyed this dude’s company. We have a lot in common, and actually he and the kid are the only reason I put up with her bullshit for as long as I did. Well, night before last, he told me that Lena has actually been extremely jealous of me. Anytime I came over, for DAYS afterward she would just constantly shit all over whatever I had said. I get why she did that. She has a tendency to state her opinion as absolute fact, and in her mind she knows more than literally everyone. So when people disagree with her, she basically brow beats them into submission so that they get sick of debating or arguing with her, so they kind of just said “Fine.” and dip on the conversation, which she saw as a win and confirmation that she’s right. I, however, THRIVE on spontaneous debates and finding supporting facts, so she couldn’t brow beat me. I would debate her for HOURS, with supporting facts/documents, but often she’d get annoyed that I would stand my ground so it would end with her sarcastically saying “Yeah, ok, whatever. We’ll see.” while rolling her eyes. Then apparently dwell on it for DAYS. Apparently so much so that a chunk of the reason she got her masters in what she did is because I had a masters in a related field and she was going to “use it to prove Dr.M wrong with my theories.” (Which is BONKERS  to me.)

Apparently she was also incredibly jealous of the fact that Lou and I got along and had stuff in common. In private she frequently told him to stay away from me, just be civil not friendly. So to appease her, he swung the opposite way being straight up mean to me (in his mind). That’s how this came up, he was apologizing for how he treated me and was explaining why. I told him that I honestly never took offense and just thought it was that like friend level shit talking banter. It did explain some of her actions on my end, though. However, Lou said a few things about having developed feels for me and stuff like that simply because we get on so well and have so much in common. With him being in a vulnerable place, and me not looking for anything, I kindly discouraged him, saying that I don’t ever plan on getting into anything again, he needs to kinda learn to be on his own for a bit, and also that with the nature of my relationship with J, it wouldn’t be fair. 

This is where we come to my problem. He was asking about how that relationship is and I was... more honest in that moment than I’ve even been with myself. There is the problem. I was forced to be honest with myself about it... and it hurt. I was talking about how Lena pushing me toward one of Lou’s friends that hung out with all of us a lot didn’t make sense because...

“anyone who knows anything about me knows that any dude after about 2016 was merely a placeholder and attempt to get over the fact that I’ve been in love with J for about that long, despite having quickly accepting that it wouldn’t ever be a thing.” I quickly realized how pathetic that sounded... but is true. He said something about not being upset about that situation because J is the one missing out. My reply...

“I’m not upset about it. I am very aware of what it is and why. I just realized how long it’s been and how absolutely pathetic it sounds. It boils down to being around him isn’t a drain or work. We never fight, even if we disagree. I can be bluntly honest with him about how horrific my health is and how bleak my future looks, and he can deal with it and be comforting without pity. I know what his flaws are, and I’m ok with them. We are so alike that The Spawn calls him “Mom but if she had a dick.” At this point we know each other better than anyone else does, and have a level of trust that we don’t have with anyone else. He’s never mean to me or makes me feel bad about myself, even if he’s shitfaced and angry about whatever. He’s incredibly kind to me. I’ve very literally saved his life more times than I can count over the last 1.5 years. But at the end of the day, all that gets pushed aside to a degree because I know it won’t ever be reciprocated outside of platonically and I feel like that’s better than not having him at all. And a small part of me stupidly hopes that one day he will see the forest for the trees and things will be different, but I regularly tell that part to shut the fuck up because she’s being unrealistic. If I let myself believe even a little that there’s a chance of it being different, I will drive myself insane, and it will hurt so so much more than it does now.”

He said he was actually really sad for me in a way that he couldn’t explain because I deserve more than that. 

The problem is that because I was actually honest for once rather than laughing off the comments about our relationship basically being a weird marriage, I’ve been forced to admit that I am deeply fucking in love with him and that affliction has only gotten more significant over the years. 5 years ago is when I admitted to myself that I loved him, but like I said, I stuffed that shit down quickly so I could still have him, even if not exactly in the way I prefer. Even so, it’s grown and until now I’ve not acknowledged how much it’s grown. It has become a very serious thing that I need to figure out how to shut back down so that I can continue onward as it has been. 

fuck.

Don’t fucking steal my stuff. just fucking don’t. 

[prorevenge]

My teacher said I participate too much so I got her fired.

So here’s a little bit of context, I went to the same school from kindergarten to high school senior year, so I pretty much grew up looking at the same faces, from other students and staff. It was a private school and the classes were quite small so our interactions with the teachers was on a first name basis. Being an involved student, I had a great relationship with most of them. This will be important later.

Now to the story.

Second year of middle school, first day of classes; a new teacher is hired. To give you an overall description of her, just imagine Jabba the Hutt with small, pointed glasses. As we entered the classroom she continuously told us to be quiet. Mind you, the class hadn’t even started. She introduced herself as someone who doesn’t like music or children. I am not kidding or exaggerating. She actually said that. She went over the course material and the grading criteria. I honestly don’t remember, but participation did not count.

She starts teaching and my class low-key hates her. I didn’t like her either, but I liked learning. I participated quite often because A, I was actually curious about something or B, nobody answered and the wait time made me feel so uncomfortable to the point I would cringe. I don’t know why, but from the start she would mock my answers or my constant participation. Even my classmates who I didn’t even talked to called her out on this, and my friends straight up claimed she hated me.

So about three or four weeks into the semester she asks a question to the class and no one answers, as usual. I raise my hand after thirty second of awkward silence and she says something among the lines of “what a surprise”. I felt a little offended but I didn’t think much of it. She ignores me. “anyone else?” No one else was even paying attention to her so no reply. I understand that teachers want everyone to participate but the way she dismissed me felt like an insult. “ohkaykay_D, honey, we have heard to much from you already”. Now this doesn’t sound as bad, but her tone was definitely mocking me. I was constantly called a nerd and stuff like that and I was also told I talked too much by other students. (I also went pro revenge on them later, but that’s another story.) Her comments really hurt me, I decided to talk to her after class. You know, set things straight and be in good terms with her. I was in my best disposition to sort things out.

In the most polite and respectful manner, why she didn’t like me. I was so confused I mean she was the teacher. She also mentioned that I “participated too much” and that “my attitude was too arrogant and that I shouldn’t try that hard to prove myself” Class participation was not graded so I should just stop participating. Lastly, she called me for being rude and disruptive in her class. I was so confused. I was literally the only student who took her class seriously. I asked her what behavior was disruptive and she said that I was rude for the way I stared at her and that it distracted her. That was it. Being a troubled teenager, I decided to unleash my rage on her.

Pro revenge mode activated.

Part one: giving her my full attention.

I started small. The next class I sat quietly on my desk. No talking, no participating, no note taking. Just staring. I stared at her with murder eyes for the entire class. She would get so uncomfortable she would turn her back at me. I would copy the notes after the class from a friend, so my whole attention was on her. I wasn’t even bothered by the wait time. No one answered her questions and I would just stare at her thinking murder. After one week of this I knew she regretted her words to me because she would call out my name so I would answer her question. When I gave no answer she asked me if I was deaf. She would shout at me for not taking notes and overall be so pissed at me.

And. I. Just. Stared.

We had her class every day, so there was no escaping from me. Even in between classes. If I saw her anywhere in school I would just stop everything that I was doing and just stare.

She resisted one week. And I was called to the principal’s office.

Perfect.

Part 2: turning her own against her.

As I mentioned earlier, I had a very good relationship with the teachers. And I had learned that the other teacher’s didn’t really like her. I would discreetly tell them that I didn’t like her either because she discouraged me and that I didn’t like the way she spoke about her other teachers. Which was true. She would constantly belittle other classes such as PE, chemistry and math; basically, anything that wasn’t English was less important for her. I might have exaggerated some details, but most of what I said was true. This is when I found out that she would steal other teacher’s coffee mugs and sometimes even their lunches. My words were like wood thrown into a fire.

Part 3: Crocodile tears

A day or so after she told me she hated me I went into the counselor’s office and cried. I think I mentioned this before, but I was a troubled teenager and she had gained my trust. She also knew what type of student I was, so she was extremely concerned when I told her what Mrs. Magdalena had said to me and that I was so discouraged I was thinking about changing schools. I cried for like an hour straight and once I was “calmed down” I asked her for confidentiality. Which, I don’t know in other places but in my school it is sacred if the student reaches out and requests help. I knew she didn’t like it but she had to comply. I went about three or more times, describing every single thing she did to me. I exaggerated the details, but not enough for it to be unbelievable.

Part 4: the great finale

I was called into the principals office, who was like a second father to me. I walk into his office and I see him, Mrs. Magdalena with a malicious smile on her face, my counselor, and the department coordinator. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but my principal explained that Mrs. Magdalena had reported me for bad behavior and bad academic standing. She said that if I kept this way she would have no choice but to fail me. I knew she would be more than happy to fail me, but that the staring really made her uncomfortable. When I asked what I had done Mrs Magdalena said that I did not work in class. My principal asked to see my notebook and I showed it to him. Every single exercise and irrelevant detail written down.

My principal: “They seem to be complete” He raised an eyebrow in Mrs Magdalena way, who was shocked and annoyed. “was there anything else?”

She obviously didn’t had anything else. She was counting on me not having my work, and apart from that, she had nothing. She still tried to add to the situation.

Mrs Magdalena: “Yes, she does not participate in class and her behavior is disruptive.” When she said these words I saw my counselor lean towards me.

My principal: reading the grading criteria “Participation is not included in the percentages…”

Mrs Magdalena: Red with frustration. “She stares at me too much!”

All the time I kept quiet and with my eyes to the floor, as if I was genuinely scared and intimidated by her.

My counselor: “This is ridiculous. Ohkaykay_D, dear, may I share what you told me?” I nodded shyly and tried to make myself look even smaller. She told her everything that I had said and how bad it had affected me. I couldn’t have been more satisfied with what she said even if I had given her a monologue. It sounded as if I had being verbally abused and my mental health was at serious risk.

My principal: “Is this true?”

I nodded and almost in a whisper said “yes”. My principal nodded and told me that I could leave. As I left the office I saw Mrs. Magdalena’s face. She was so shocked. I made eye contact with her on my way out and I couldn’t hide a smile. Only she saw it and her face contorted with rage. You could literally see steam being puffed out of her ears and nostrils.

I later found out by both my principal and the teacher coordinator that they fired her because apparently, I was not the only one who had complained. My classmates had also been talking to other teachers about how she said she didn’t like children or teaching and that she was not good at her job. The teachers had passed the commentary back to their supervisors because they were concerned. They had also reported her behavior as a coworker and how she had a negative effect on the working environment.

And I never saw her again :)

​

(source) story by (/u/ohkaykay_De)

[artificialqueens]

Future Nostalgia, Chapter 1 (Group Fic) - Lazuli

Summary: This is an 80’s AU songfic based on the latest Dua Lipa album “Future Nostalgia”. In this chapter, Michelle is struggling to open her new club and Bianca gets fired from her job. Destiny joins the two sisters back together. 

A/N: Hieeeeeee! This is my first fic ever and I’m super happy to share it! English is not my first language, so I’m sorry if there are any spelling errors. I wanna thank @chaoticnachokitten for not only betaing, but also supporting my idea, u are the best! This one is not focused on any ships (just a little bit of Bitney), but the next chapters are going to focus on a different pairing each, based on the songs of Future Nostalgia. Also, I had to include Michelle in this ‘cause: Why not? I hope u all enjoy it and I’m always open to suggestions!!

Chapter One – FUTURE NOSTALGIA

“I know you’re dying trying to figure me out

My name’s on the tip of your tongue, keep running your mouth

You want the recipe, but can’t handle my sound

My sound, my sound

No matter what you do, I’m gonna get it without ya

I know you ain’t used to a female alpha”

1985. Michelle could almost smell the scent of the booze, hear the loud music and feel the heat from the bodies dancing on the crowded dance floor. The reason for all the extra hours working at the diner came true:She had just bought her own club. She could barely restrain herself with happiness feeling the tinkle of the keys between her fingers. After signing the contract with the previous owner, who had stared at her clothes with a hint of mockery, she finally had a place to call her own. A new home. She was not new to the feeling of home that New York’s night clubs offered her, and Michelle frequented them so much that she could leave a toothbrush at the restroom, if this wasn’t so disgusting. It was part of her routine, spending whole Saturday nights on the floor, having fun and making out with one-night stands. Those were the moments she felt free from the judgment she had received daily on her last job. 

 Quitting her job at the diner wasn’t that hard. In fact, it was delightful throwing her apron on the floor and finally telling her boss what he deserved to hear: That he was a motherfucking son of a bitch. During the 4 years Michelle had worked as a waitress, Earl had always made embarrassing statements about her clothes, body and had humiliated her in front of clients and colleagues. All because she had refused to go on a date with him, who tried to bribe her by offering money to open the club. In the name of Diana Ross, he was married, smelled like cheap beer and was old enough to be her grandpa! Earl had not accepted “no” as an answer, and Michelle’s response resulted in years of harassment because he was certain the woman needed the job and wouldn’t complain about his attitude.

   This is the reason why night clubs were Michelle’s shelter, her true paradise on Earth. She knew the club universe like the back of her hand since she was 17 and escaped from home in the middle of the night with her big brother, Ru, so they could go out secretly and enjoy the nightlife in town. At a young age, she had understood that this was her destiny. Her parents were judgmental about her dream: night clubs were not places for a decent girl. They discouraged her by saying that this was not a real job, the adult world was way different, she would never own a club ‘cause she was a woman and bla bla bla… However, her brother always encouraged the idea and gave her a good amount of cash as a gift to help the club’s funding. She was lucky to have a brother like him.

 The Visage brothers were Charles, who preferred to be called Ru, the black, gay and drag queen first-born who, to the desperation of his parents, was getting more recognition in the drag scene throughout the years. Ru was the son of Paul visage’s ex-wife, so when he got married for the second time, two totally-opposite girls were born: Michelle and Bianca. Michelle, the middle daughter, a Madonna wannabe who was following the path of doom and Bianca, the perfect youngest daughter. Bianca worked at a business company in NY and was very successful at her job, nothing unexpected: ever since she was a kid, she got the best grades and was a hard-working lady. She always wanted to make her parents proud of her, because they were too busy worried about her brothers, so Bianca was under pressure to be the redemption of the family. Michelle noticed how much this made her sister unhappy.

 After long 8 years, Michelle was finally facing her brand-new source of wealth: the ‘Future Nostalgia Club”, home of the misfits, outrageous and crazy ones. Just like Alice in Wonderland, entering the club would be like falling on the rabbit’s hole to meet a world of magic, dance and desire. 

 Well, at least this was how Michelle was imagining it would be. She only needed to clean the club, buy all the stereos, light equipment and accessories for stage work, build a bar, reform the whole place, hire employees…Oh.

She needed a miracle. 

 “Okay, I’m all by myself, except for the family of spiders surrounding the ENTIRE PLACE. Shit. My Eden looks like an allergic rhinitis person’s Hell.“

 After a lot of sneezes, Michelle tried to start cleaning the room, without success. Cleaning the club all alone would take her at least two whole days and she had no idea how she could get the rest of the tasks done. She was a waitress, not a party planner. The more she thought about it, the more stupid and regretful she felt about starting a business by herself, without any guidance, and buying a full abandoned space. Just to think that Ru trusted her so much that gave part of his cost savings to the club made Michelle doubt her capacity even more. Maybe her parents were right after all. Adult’s world is way different than the full-of-glitter universe of the clubs. She should’ve gone to college just like her sister. Her brother was economically stable doing drag because he was lucky. He was one in a million, something she would never be. 

💿

“What? Fired? You've  got to be kidding me!”

 “I’m sincerely sorry, Bianca. You’ll be laid off, because the company needs to reduce costs, so unfortunately, we have to set you free to find new paths!” said James, her superior. 

 “You say ‘set you free’ like I’m a fucking bird or something! I was nominated the best employee, two years in a row. There was never one single day that I slacked off on work, unlike those other tired queens I share the room with. Didn’t you tell me that I could get a promotion this month yet?” 

 “Yeah, I told you that… However, to have someone leading by my side… My superiors preferred to invest on a new face, a strong, determined and merciless person.”

 “Am I not all of these things? You already told me I’m much more of a man than your homeboys!”

 “I know, but… Bianca, I’m gonna be honest with you: Calling you a ‘man’ is way different than believing you have a shot to be the leader of this company. Yes, you were our best employee, but being a boss consists of so much more responsibility that, frankly, we don’t believe you can handle. You are too good to be constantly trying to prove your worth. Don’t you think it would be exhausting? Besides, this job requires a lot of extra hours, something that would reduce your time with family. C’mon, the superiors made a good decision letting you find other job opportunities which…suits better everyone’s fragilities.”

Fragility. The sound of this word hit her like a missile.

 “Fine…Then, let me see if I understood what you said: Although I work even more than you do, I’ll not get a promotion because I am a woman. That’s it? Do you think I’m not ‘manly’ enough for the job?“

 An awkward silence.

 “I’m glad you understand, so now we can sign your termination contract in good terms! I have no doubts that you’ll find a new job opportunity soon, at a better place!”

 Oh no, he better didn’t.

He barely had finished his sentence when a super-hot coffee cup that was in Bianca’s hand was thrown on the table, smudging all the papers and making some drops of coffee splash on James’ white shirt, leaving stains. Bianca didn’t think about her actions. She just did it. What could they do? Fire her? Check.

   After leaving the room and putting all her stuff inside a box without giving one single look to anyone, Bianca walked to the elevator in a state of shock. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard from James. ‘Being a woman sucks’, she thought. She had spent her entire life trying to be perfect. Getting the best grades, doing well on SAT, studying at a college with a full scholarship, getting a degree. All this hard work just to be told by a piece of shit that she couldn’t be a boss. Bianca hadn’t refused every party invitation during college for that.

    When the elevator reached downstairs, Bianca did her own walk of shame. Everybody in the hall stared at her, some of them looking away from her in fear, others curious about what happened to the usually scary Bianca Del Rio. She was known as a feared woman, with her quick mind, shady responses and killer looks. She didn’t have time for anyone’s bullshit. But right now, she was feeling the weakest she had ever been, and she hated to appear weak in front of others. 

“Be strong. Living in this world is hard as hell.”

 She had grown up hearing that phrase. Being strong became her second skin that was attached to her body ever since she had understood that she would need it to survive. The heavy make-up applied to her face every day worked as a materialization of this mask, as if it would hide all of her real emotions.

 Being strong was the shield to world’s adversities, but also the hideout of her secrets and self-doubts. Bianca knew that she could never be her true self. She was taught to be brave and successful. And people like her would never be successful if they studied Arts. Or if they’d finally admitted they were gay.

 She got used to being strong, quick and working like a dog. But that was not enough. She was not enough. The truth about this reality crushed her so bad that she didn’t care about the rain that was falling on the streets, starting to soak her belongings inside the box and destroying her make-up. The vestiges of mascara started to leave black trails on her cheeks, that dropped from her eyes.

 “Well, at least I can blame the rain now.” She knew this was a poor excuse.

 As soon as she got home, after taking the bus and doing her best poker face during the entire way, Bianca threw her box on the apartment’s floor and, almost at the same time, heard the phone ringing. Leaving a trail of water drops as she walked, she reached the phone and instantly recognized the voice on the other side. ‘Oh great, it’s my sister!’, she thought and answered.

 “Girl, you betta have a real good reason for talking to me right now, because I was asking myself how much alcohol it takes to stay drunk for a whole weekend!”

 “Bianca!!! I need you to come to the club now! It’s an emergency! Wait, drunk? What’s your damage?”

 “Oh, fuck it, I don’t really wanna talk about this. Why do I have to go to your dump? Have you already discovered it was a bad investment?”

 “That’s exactly why I need you to come RIGHT. NOW. Please, Bianca. I promise that if you come, I’ll buy you as much alcohol as you want!”

 “Such a terrible proposal. Promise?”

 “Promise. Just come here, bitch! NOW!”

 After being hung up on, Bianca took a deep breath, rolled her eyes, and made her way to the bathroom to clean up her face, so she wouldn’t look like she just had a breakdown before helping her sister. It was not like she had any better place to go.     

 💿

“What. The. Fuck.”

 “Good to see you too, my dear sister!”

 Bianca tried her best to deflect from the cobwebs and step carefully in order not to ruin her shoes on the sticky stains on the carpet. The place was even worse than she had imagined in terms of cleaning, but she could see a potential nightclub. Maybe if she squinted a little bit.

 “Is this the famous ‘Future Nostalgia’? Its looks more like ‘Future Flu’, but that’s fine!”

 Michelle, sitting on the edge of a platform that used to be a small stage, stared at her sister with no emotion. They were always different from one another, but that day, Michelle noticed Bianca was out of her normal. Her classic executive clothes were soaked wet, and aside from this, something about her expression looked out of place. As if something had broken her shield.

 “I’m such a dip. I should’ve made a better plan before buying this place. If I had looked for more places before buying the first rentable abandoned club, I wouldn’t have bought this…cemetery.”

 “Hey, hey, hey! Get yourself together! You already bought it, so there’s no use to freak out now. Look, I know that it’s hard to see the club of your dreams, but with some repairs, employees and DEFINITELY SOME CLEANING, this space can look like new and mad awesome!”

 “Alone??? How am I gonna do all of these things?? I don’t know if I can handle the management of an entire club! I know this was a bad idea, I shoulda done the same like you and…”

 “And what? Gone to a college and been unhappy? Worked with something you hate? Or maybe spent the rest of your days making double effort to try to fit into a space that you know it’s not your shape, but still you squeeze and hurt yourself trying to fit in?”

 Every word that came out of Bianca’s mouth was heavy and turned her thoughts into reality. The truth was that she always pretended. Bianca made a huge effort to hold her tears, but Michelle knew her for too long to not know that something was going on.

 “What happened, Bianca?”

 Bianca took a deep breath and said: “I was laid off. My superiors didn’t want me to be a boss, they considered me unable for the job because I’m a woman. Do you know how much it hurts? I spent so many years on that company, doing extra shifts all the time and pretending to be someone I’m not for nothing! These clothes, these shoes, this posture…This is not me.“

 Michelle called her to come closer and Bianca sat next to her on the platform.

 “I always felt you repressed who you really were. I remember when we were kids. You spent hours and hours joining pieces of fabric to create costumes for us to use in our plays for the audience of toys. And you always made everyone laugh when you were acting!”

 “For sure, just the Barbies were a tough audience. You know, the excess of plastic in her faces made it difficult to express anything.”    

 Michelle laughed and put her hand against Bianca’s.

 “I think this is the perfect moment for you to start over. You can finally show the beautiful clown that you are. Dirty-mouth, fast and a little bit shady, but beautiful. You may not see this now, but those idiots having fired you was the best thing that could’ve happened. They are not used to a female alpha. What would Madonna do?”

   “Bitch, I thought I was gonna give a motivational speech here!”

 The sisters laughed together.

 “Maybe you should listen to yourself. If Madonna was on your place, what would she do?”

 “She would be Madonna, fantabulous and radical, I’m just Michelle.”

  “Girl, don’t wig out! Dear, you are Madonna. From Brooklyn, but still Madonna!” Bianca said. “C’mon, I wanna show you something.”

 Bianca got up and took a 'Like a Virgin’ vinyl by Madonna out of her purse, which Michelle had borrowed her almost one year ago.

 “Every time you forget who you are, look at this. It was already getting dusty at home; I should’ve returned it to you sooner, but maybe today was the right day to give it back to you.” 

 Michelle took her vinyl back and stared at it, admiring the cover. Then, she remembered.

 “I saw a gramophone somewhere here. Do you know what I have in mind?”

 “Oh, shit, I should’ve seen that coming!”

 “Duh. You won’t escape from me!” said Michelle, already running to put the vinyl on the gramophone. The first chords of Material Girl started to resonate through the room.

 “Take a broom and lip sync with me!”

 The sisters started to clean and organize the space using brooms, dusters, mops and other cleaning supplies that Michelle had brought earlier, while lip syncing for their lives. They sang, danced and tried hard not to slip on the wet floor. A and B sides of the disc were played several times until dawn, when they finally finished the cleaning. The place already looked completely different. It had been a while since the last time they had shared a moment like this. Their last meetings were brief, at family reunions, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Both of them were busy chasing their own dreams, but now life had got them together in the same path.

 “You know what?” said Bianca, drying the sweat of her forehead with her hand.

 “I wanna work with you. I’ll help you with anything you need related to management, organization and the hiring of new employees. I can use some money I’ve been saving for investments, because this is an investment, and a little bit of my unemployment insurance ‘cause, sincerely, fuck this shit. I don’t have anything better to do and I didn’t get my degree for nothing, am I right?”

 “Are you sure? It would be excellent, but you’re not a party person. You always say that parties are too loud and don’t have enough seats so you can rest your old ass!” teased Michelle.

 “And you are not as brill as me when it comes to business! How about we share what we know and become partners?”

“Deal.”    

  💿

After the hard work, a shower and a certain  number of drinks, Michelle’s and Bianca’s bodies were in a state of drunkenness that made them feel like they could run an entire marathon, so in order to release all that energy, they left the bar and decided to take a walk on the pier. Bianca was wearing some of Michelle’s clothes: a striped black and white shirt, a navy-blue pleated skirt that finished a little above her knees, a huge jeans coat, all of this complemented with white boots with cotton knee gaiters. It wasn’t exactly Bianca’s fashion, but she liked a little bit of a change.

That didn’t stop her from making jokes about it. 

“Yeah, I now kinda understand all the fuss about skirts: they make it pretty fresh down there!”

 “You may not admit it, but I know you gagged on this look! How about it become a habit?”

  “Gag me with a spoon!”

 They walked together until they arrived at a part of the pier that was frequented by a lot of teenagers and young adults that got together to dance, flirt and smoke pot in the darkest corners. A little bit ahead of them, there was a group of people gathered in a circle, enjoying the music played by the DJ, using her simple equipment in one of the corners of the pier. She had pale skin, full light blonde hair, wore a pair of black headphones that matched the rest of her look and had an expression on her face that left doubts if she was just sleepy or super high.

 Inside the circle, surrounded by people going crazy for her dance steps, there was a young girl with dark skin, long and smooth legs, and long straight black hair that moved according to her body. She walked like she was on the Fashion Week’s runway and caught all the attention with her intense stares as she moved.

 Right after, another dancer entered on the circle, doing a bridge, lifting of the floor gracefully. She had light skin, blonde hair, a Chanel haircut and wore dark red lipstick. She was dancing along with the other girl doing splits, handstands and other moves that looked impossible to execute, with such a technique like a true gymnast.

 While Michelle was totally into the dancers, that started to battle with other two boys, another thing caught Bianca’s eyes. The young lady was a little farther away from the group, dancing to her own rhythm of the remix played by the DJ. She had white skin a little tanned and blonde perfect curls pinned on the top of her head with a bow. She wore colorful bracelets, a blue crop top with a mid-skirt that spun with her movements. Bianca was completely hypnotized by the girl.

 When the music stopped and the dancers finished the vogue battle, Bianca was brought back to reality by the sound of the applauses. Michelle looked at her with excitement.

 “I need these girls in my club! They would be perfect! This is exactly what we need, performers would bring so much people to the parties. It would be hella amazing if they were our employees!”

 “So, what are we still doing here? Let’s go there and talk to them!”

 Michelle and Bianca walked towards the group of girls. The two dancers were gathered in a corner, chatting happily while the DJ, who seemed to be part of the group as well, was lazily rolling a cigarette between her fingers. As soon as they came closer, Bianca noticed the mysterious blonde was also there, laughing with the girls, and started to look as normal as possible.

 Michelle called them and started the introduction.

  “Hey, ladies! You totally nailed it; the dancing was amazing! I’m Michelle and this is my sister, Bianca. This was the first time we stopped to watch the vogue battles on the pier!”

 Bianca locked eyes with the blonde, who smiled at her, but quickly looked away. 

 “Thank you, girl! I am Naomi, like Campbell, this is Katya, our Russian gymnast who we pretend is really Russian to give an exotic touch to our group…” both girls extended their hands to greet Bianca and Michelle.

 “…and that one sleeping while rolling a joint is Pearl, our DJ friend!’

 Waking up from her 10 second sleep, Pearl straightened her back and simply said: “Sup.”

   Katya laughs loudly and says: “Such a character! Oh, and last but not least, this is Courtney, my true foreign friend who came to see us dancing today!”

 “Hello! I’m from Brisbane, Australia. I’m here in NY studying Performing Arts in a student exchange program.” Courtney said, nicely, her accent perceptible.

 “That looks great! So good to see the young ones so dedicated to studies!”   

Bianca felt the weight of 84 years on her back after this commentary and regretted saying it immediately, although she made her new crush giggle.

 Michelle went straight to the point.

 “Well, girls, we actually came here to make a proposal: We both are going to inaugurate a new night club downtown, and we need performers, so we thought you’d be perfect! What do you think?”

 A pause. Then Naomi answered.

  “Look, I saw this thing happen a bunch of times, with friends of ours. You are not the first ones and won’t be the last to come here, making promises to the dancers, but it’s always the same scheme. I think it’s cute for you guys to come here and flatter us, but I saw a lot of these contracts that ended up badly for other girls, so the answer is no.” 

 Bianca tried to show more reliability.

 “I understand. We are two strangers, coming here and trying to make a deal, but we also don’t really know you, so this is equally risky for us. Me and Michelle live in New York since always, we grew up here. I am an administrator and Michelle used to work on the diner at 7th street, she’s a club frequenter.“

 Pearl spoke, pointing to Michelle while blowing the smoke from the cigarette.

 “Yeah, you are not a stranger to me…I think I saw you at one of the parties I played at once…but I’m always so tired that I’m not sure…”

 “That’s not really surprising, Sleeping Beauty!” mocked Katya.

 Michelle proceeded.

 “I think we can have a conversation, try to know each other better, and come to a deal that helps both parts. With that talent, you could attract even more public to the parties and would be paid to do what you already do at the pier, but at a safer and more well-structured place!” 

 “Well, the offer is tempting, but we love dancing here. The pier is where our community exists, where we took our first steps and learned everything. We follow our schedules, our rules, without a boss full of orders on us. Also, I don’t appreciate the idea of someone coming here, taking our culture and making money out of it, you know?” Naomi said in a defensive tone.

 Bianca argued.

 “We truly don’t want to take advantage of what you girls do. Your work is pure art, and it’s a result from hard work. I believe we can open a new door for you to show what you do. Downtown is full of people, and sometimes the clubs are visited by businessmen and headhunters looking for new talents. If you work with us, you can make an extra money, meet new people and be seen. I believe we can help each other. We’re all women fighting for our place in this world.”

 Naomi and Katya looked at each other, thoughtful.

 “What about the money?” asked Katya.

 “We can negotiate payments, schedules, and the performances will be totally yours, full freedom to create,”  Michelle said. “We also need a DJ! I think it’s fair enough having a woman in charge of music as well!”

  “Like, I thought I was already in” said Pearl, confused and a little distracted from the conversation.

 “Pearl, we’re still thinking about it, there’s nothing decided here, you stoner! Now, pass this joint over here!” said Katya, getting the weed cigarette from Pearl’s hands.

 Courtney said, bravely: “Do you girls need a bartender? I used to work mixing and serving drinks at my city, to help paying college! And I kinda need a job right now…”

 “Totally! You would be very useful!” said Bianca, one more time regretting her lack of discretion.

 All of them stayed quiet for a little, reflecting on the proposal, until Naomi broke the silence.

  “What about a meeting on Monday, 9am at Joe’s Cafe? We can discuss about it after a rest and having our stomachs filled. Until there, we’ll think about the offer. I believe we can support each other, if it’s really worth it.”

 “Awesome! I mean, deal.” Michelle corrected herself as an attempt to sound professional. “Monday it is.”

 “Deal! Now, if you excuse us, I need to go there and flirt with that cute jock who has been staring at me since the dance battle. The move 'contort like the girl from Poltergeist’ never fails!” 

Katya waved and ran towards the man, followed by Naomi and Pearl, who shook hands with the sisters.

  Just Courtney stayed behind, and right after waving to Michelle, she came closer to Bianca’s ear and said, quietly: “I think Katya was not the only one being observed tonight. And I really liked it.”

 With that, Courtney left, running to reach the other girls.

 Michelle looked to Bianca without understanding what had just happened until she saw her sister red like a shrimp, and started to laugh loudly, followed by curses and more laughs from Bianca. Together, the two started to leave the pier, clumsy and happy, towards Michelle’s apartment. The day had both started and finished in total opposite ways, reviving the hope that good things may be coming. They’d need to work a lot, but the end of this night was just the beginning of a new era in the sister’s lives.         

[ravenaveira]

Just wanna clarify a few things after my long review/rant at the end for KH3 Re:Mind

My comments about the Sokai stuff I stand by, but I wanna be clear because I see Sokai shippers claiming antis complained about the lack of Sokai for it to be a believable relationship and now that Sokai has more moments we’re complaining about them shoving Sokai down our throats.

I cant speak for all antis on this, so I’ll be strictly speaking for myself on this issue and anyone else who feels similar to me. Warning it gets long again so be ready.

Yes Im one of those antis who complained about the lack of Sokai which made it underdeveloped and unbelievable, and yes I am also complaining about them now shoving Sokai down our throats.

Why? because Kingdom hearts is not a romance, and throughout every single game so far romance has taken a severe back seat and handled very subtely. For example Sora’s drawing in the cave of him giving Kairi the Paopu fruit, Riku teasing him about wanting to give one to Kairi, Sora saying hes always with her and promising to come back for her, Roxas calling Kairi ‘the girl he likes’ etc

All these moments were very short, subtle, and to the point. It was not a primary focus nor was it blatantly shoved in your face like

I mean in almost EVERY shot they were together Sora was holding her hand, which isnt something he usually does? keep in mind Sora and Kairi’s feelings have been known to eachother since KH2 and Sora still didnt behave the way he is now. He was always very awkward and uncomfortable/shy when it came to romance.

In KH2 Sora didnt hug Kairi, nor did he hold her hand, it was KAIRI who initiated the hug out of relief and happiness to see Sora again and that hes ok. Sora did not show the same sentiment and treated her like he always has, just casually walking up to her and just nonchalantly saying ‘You are different Kairi, but Im just glad your here’ as if she wasnt kidnapped and being held hostage this entire time. He should have showed the same concern for her as he did for Riku and Kairi for him but he did not, he just said that and then turned away and apologized.

But in KH3 Sora/Nomura pull a complete 180, Sora hugs Kairi to shield her from Terranort with his body instead of pulling out his keyblade and blocking his attack. Him hugging Kairi there was not only stupid, but it doesnt even defend her, Terranort will just kill Kairi AND him now. That was just a forced out of place Sokai moment for the sake of shoving a Sokai moment that was completely unnessecary and could of easily had the same impact by having Sora do the common sense thing and BLOCK with his keyblade like he did for Riku when they were in THE EXACT SAME SITUATION.

See the difference? good, then I need say no more.

This is only one of many situations where they would shoehorn in a Sokai moment that was completely out of place, didnt make any sense, or just forced in trying way too hard to convince you how much Sora cares for Kairi and how much they love and want to be together forever etc etc

Another example being when everybody ‘dies’ in the keyblade graveyard being swept away by heartless. Sora only loses his mind and breaks down emotionally after Kairi is the last one swept away, he then says the most inconsiderate line he could have ever said.

He says this while RIKU IS RIGHT THERE BESIDE HIM, even if you were arguing he was just speaking figuratively thats still no excuse, he was NOT alone but at that moment he just completely disregarded Riku as if his presence there was the same as being alone.

Not only that but seconds later he does one of the most out of character things for him.

Sora just WATCHES Riku risk his life holding back the heartless to protect him and Sora just WATCHES him fighting off this huge horde of heartless BY HIMSELF and not ONCE does Sora make ANY attempt to get up and help Riku despite knowing his life is at risk trying to hold them back alone.

Even if you wanna argue Sora was in shock, when has that ever stopped him before!? when have you EVER known Sora to just sit back and watch his friends put their lives in danger and NOT help them?

What makes this worse is thats not even the first time he does it, he sits back and watches AGAIN as Axel gets bodied right infront of him just to have him exhausted next to Kairi because you know, Sora’s never fought strong opponents and gotten right back up to protect his friends before.

Remember Terranort? Sora was overpowered by him and still made the effort to run over and hug Kairi to shield her from his attack, but Axel and Riku? nah just gonna chill and watch. This is BEYOND out of character for Sora.

When Axel told Sora to hurry and save Kairi, who was being held hostage by the organization and was in danger, Sora refused to leave him and stayed behind to help him fight. Sora chose helping Axel over Kairi, he put saving his enemy before his own friend/love interest.

When Neku betrayed him, Sora still helped and protected him when he was in danger

When Riku stole his keyblade and Donald and Goofy followed him and left Sora behind, yes Sora was discouraged but when he saw Beasts determination to save Belle no matter what, it encouraged Sora to do the same for the people he cared about

I could go on but you get my point, Sora saw Riku risking his life, literally dying and he did NOTHING, try to justify that all you want but that was incredibly out of character and was obviously put there to show how losing Kairi broke him.

I know your probably gonna argue it wasnt just Kairi it was everybody, and to that I say this, if it wasnt just about Kairi why didnt Sora snap when Ven and Axel got bodied? he froze for a few seconds but then snapped out of it thanks to Riku. After that everybody gets swept away, but the game made sure to put EXTRA emphasis, slow motion and all, to Kairi and Sora reaching out to eachother and then Kairi being swept away by the tide.

THATS when he snaps, if it truly werent just about Kairi they wouldnt have made sure to put emphasis on her being swept away, EVERYONE would have gotten the same treatment if it were truly their deaths also that made Sora fall apart. Im not saying he wasnt upset or heartbroken over them, Im pointing out how they made sure to single out Kairi as the most DEVASTATING loss out of all of them.

Yet again, he has Riku one of his closest bonds if not the closest right beside him yet he doesnt even acknowledge him? he says hes alone even though Rikus right there? you cannot justify that as anything other than downplaying Riku to boost Kairi up.

You do not see the other trios treated this way, every trio has equal focus for ALL of them and even the romantic hints for some of them [Roxas/Xion, Terra/Aqua, technically Namine/Repliku] have all been treated equally and did not feel forced or out of place but very natural and they still made sure to focus on the friendship bond between them overall.

Axel doesnt get played down in importance to Roxas just to boost Xion up, their friendship and bond with eachother are equally important to one another despite whatever ‘romance’ there might be. Same applies to Terra and Aqua, Ven is not played down in importance to them. As for Namine and Repliku they arent a trio but their romance was still handled well and it didnt overshadow their platonic bond or attempt to play down the real Riku or vice versa to boost the other, Namine was equally important to both of them.

So balancing romance and friendship CAN be done in their trio, but for some reason Nomura insists on pitting one against the other and playing down one over the other, in Sokai’s case thats Riku, which is an insult to his and Sora’s bond. The same way Sokai shippers felt the over-focus on Sorikus bond was a disservice to Sora and Kairi’s bond, its the same issue.

But lets get back to Re:mind because besides a few bad moments, overall KH3 was atleast passable with the Sokai nonsense. Then comes Re:Mind and oh boy...the damage control was strong in this one.

Again as I said earlier the Sokai moments in this game were very forced and out of place and in many ways out of character for Sora.

For starters the excessive hand holding, why? to convince us their a thing? but Sora suggests otherwise

Even after all the excessive hand holding, the hugs, the forced moments etc, in the end Sora still calls Kairi a friend. After aaaaall the forced Sokai bs they shoved down our throats Sora still friendzones her, which is it Nomura? you either want them together or you dont, stop playing games and pick a side already.

Dont get me wrong Im glad he hasnt made it official yet but after all this its like enough is enough, either follow through or cut this shit out and go back to being subtle like before.

Another huge insult was Sora constantly saying how his journey started with Kairi, since when? I remember Sora losing Kairi AND Riku that day not just her. I recall Sora not going back to Destiny Islands with Kairi BECAUSE he wanted to continue his journey to find Riku, but apparently in Re:mind it was just all about Kairi, nothing about his journey involved Riku no it was only Kairi that was his main motivation, gtf outta here man.

You can say something over and over but that doesnt make it true, Sora’s journey started with BOTH of them, lets stop playing down Riku’s importance to once again boost Kairi up.

That hug when Sora finally reunited with Kairi after restoring her was so obviously trying to make up for all the years of people complaining about Sora’s lack of reaction to Kairi in KH2 in comparison to Riku, so having him hold her for several seconds floating in the sky should rectify that right? you believe he cares about her now right? fuck off man. If your gonna do damage control than atleast dont make it so obvious that thats what your doing because then it comes off disingenuous, forced, and fake.

But my biggest issue is the ending where they really shoehorned Sokai where it didnt belong, literally stalking everyone else with the exception of returning Namines heart and Sora helping to reunite Chirithy with Ventus. But in Twilight town, why were Sora and Kairi there? they werent with Roxas but just sitting above them

Why were they at Mickeys castle? again their just in the background sight seeing.

These scenes were completely unnessecary and completely out of place and made the ending WORSE rather than better. Why? because these are Sora’s final hours ALIVE whether you argue only for a day or a couple days, in all of these ending scenes only one thing matters to Sora and thats Kairi.

Before we assumed everything that was shown all happened the same exact day and we didnt see Sora with any of them. But now we have confirmation Sora WAS there yet he only spent his last remaining time with Kairi in the background while quietly stalking everyone else? even if he didnt spend time with anyone else, he should have spent his last remaining time with Kairi AND Riku, after all hes his best friend and would like to spend what little time he may have with Sora too but we dont see any of that. Hell this contradicts Soras own danm words to Chirithy prior to this.

Instead of just shoehorning a bunch of Sokai in the background why not show the three of them FINALLY all together again like the old days? this is wtf Im talking about. We saw ALL the other trios together but the Destiny trio? hell naw fuck Riku lets have Sora spend all his remaining time with Kairi, thats the only one who REALLY matters here. After being separated from eachother constantly, now they finally have the chance to be together again and spend time together as friends and they DONT.

Instead Sora decides to take Kairi around the worlds hes visited, something he said he wanted to do with Riku as well, and just spend all his remaining time with her, even though in the base game before the final battle Sora was concerned why Riku was all alone and not spending time with them together. But here? nah fuck Riku. I remembered how important it is to share moments with friends only applied to Kairi.

So personally idc that theres more Sokai moments, my problem is the execution. It doesnt feel genuine, it feels forced and awkward and just doing damage control to pander to the rabid fanbase thats been screaming for this type of content for years, well congrats, you got it.

My problem is Kingdom Hearts was never about romance, it was always subtle and not shoved in your face, it felt natural and not forced and like there was atleast SOME heart behind it, but this? just felt hollow and forced.

Just stop, Im glad in the end Kairi just sleeps for a whole year and probably still will be sleeping when the next game comes out and the focus will shift to Riku and his search for Sora along with the other keyblade wielders doing their part as well.

So Im thankful it seems like we’re done with this crap and getting back to what ACTUALLY matters and what people really wanna see from this series.

Notice how nothing in either of my posts had to do with Soriku as a couple but about their bond as friends, enough said.

So dont try to twist this into just being about pairings because its not, its about what this series has always been about being forgotten for the sake of a fucking trash ship that nobody cares about besides rabid shippers and Sora’s bonds with his other friends being completely thrown out the fucking window to shorehorn in a bunch of unnessecary Sokai moments as a desperate attempt to convince people that these two love eachother which at this point if you have to try so hard to CONVINCE people of your pairing its obvious your doing a very shitty job at it.

Im done, this is my last long post about this for a while but I really needed to get that all out there since nobody else seems to be calling it out for what it is. My anger and frustration is still very fresh and it shows so I really need to stop talking about it because at this point? Re:Mind just ReMinded me why the Destiny trio is the worst out of them all, it is the most unbalanced and quite frankly feels more like Riku is a third wheel at this point and not even a part of the trio anymore. Before Kairi, it was always Sora and RIku yet hes the one whos being pushed aside and forgotten about in all this. That pisses me off.

So Im done with this topic, I need to cool off for the next couple of years till the next game comes out where hopefully Kairi stays asleep the entire time and NOT ruin another game.

[looselucy]

Different

January 30th It had been a long time since I’d sat across from Sam Jacobs, a pint on the table and nothing but silence between us.

He’d been consistent for over two weeks that he needed to talk to me. He’d text, called, turned up at my door, turned up at work. Almost every day since he’d been back, he’d made some form of attempt to talk to me, and I had grown completely tired of it. I felt it was easier to just get it out of the way. “How’ve you been?” He asked me, seemingly nervous. “Fine.” I mumbled, not caring to know of his wellbeing. Another reason I’d met him was in an attempt to keep Harry’s anger at bay. Harry, who I’d been with almost constantly since the night of the storm. Luckily, he’d missed most of the times when Sam had tried to reach out to me, and I hadn’t told him because I didn’t want another repeat of the night that he’d attacked him outside the pub. But then I’d been round at his house when Sam tried to call me, and he’d been frustrated at that alone. “Why’s he calling you?” He had asked, brows low, words dripping with hatred. “I have no fucking idea.” I’d groaned, rolling over to my side of the bed. “I keep ignoring him, but-” “You keep ignoring him? This isn’t the first time he’s tried it?” “Harry-” “Let me answer. I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him where the fuck he can go.” “Harry, no, leave it!” I knew he’d get like that so I knew it was best to avoid it, as much as I could. The bottom line was that Harry and Sam were never going to see eye to eye on anything, and I’d do what I could to keep them apart as much as physically possible. Talking to Sam felt like the best way of starting that. “So what do you want?” I barked when he had been quiet for too long, the pub practically empty. “I wanted to try and explain myself. I wanna apologise, properly.” “Go on then.” “Do you have to be so hostile, Alfie? I’m trying to have a mature conversation with you.” “I really hope you’re kidding, Sam. You should consider yourself lucky I’m even here.” “And I do, but there’s no point in either of us being here if shit isn’t going to change between us.” “So then say what you need to fucking say, Sam!” I yelped. “I’m not gunna plaster on a smile to make you feel better.” “Fine, but then if you could just-” “OI!” Gina yelled from behind the bar, shutting us both up. “Calm down, both of ya! It’s too early for a bloody brawl yet.” It wasn’t even 6 o’clock. I’d only just shut the shop, it was a Wednesday night, we were the only people in there. Gina was used to a scuffle in her pub, but it wasn’t the expected time for it, and she was clearly in no mood. I bit at my tongue, trying to calm down for her sake rather than Sam’s, who apologised to her over my head. I folded my arms, waiting for him to say his piece. He ran his hand through his hair, and to say he’d been so adamant that he wanted to sit down and talk with me, he seemed absolutely clueless with what he wanted to say. “I think about what happened constantly.” He sighed after some time. “And it’s… a blur, I was fucked, but… I remember how scared you were and it’s ruining me, Alfie. I know I’ve been a shit boyfriend at times, I can admit that, but that… That’s not who I am. I need you to know that that’s not who I am.” I knew that much, or at least I had thought that way, once. It was out of character for him, but that didn’t mean I could simply dismiss it. Just because I hadn’t seen it from him before clearly didn’t mean it wasn’t there. That side of him did exist, and he’d proven that. He dropped his head, discouraged by my steadfast tough exterior. “I’ve been with my mum, trying to get some space and figure everything out, but it made everything worse. I’ve been hating myself, and then I told her what happened and… You should have seen the look on her face.” He ached. “Like she… was disappointed, but like she’d been expecting it. You know what she said to me?” I shrugged, icy, uninterested, waiting for excuses from him, waiting for him to dull down what had happened, expecting the worst from him. “You are your fathers’ son.” He snarled as he repeated his mothers’ words, and my attitude wavered a bit then. My face dropped, my body deflated, knowing what that would have done to him. He’d always been so close to his mum; I couldn’t believe she would even say that to him. What Sam had done that night was in no way acceptable, but I knew just how abusive his father had been, and his actions paled in comparison. “Shit. M’sorry.” I weakened somewhat. “Fucking true though, innit?” He shook his head, broken compared the boy I’d once known. He’d put on an act at the pub the other week when Harry had fought with him, but the truth was Sam put on an act a lot of the time. I’d had an intense relationship with him for years, I knew what he was like on his own, when he was vulnerable, when he was real. I knew Sam at his lowest, and this was beyond that. “It’s not true.” I gulped, finding myself wanting to make him feel better, which was not the initial plan at all. “I know what your dad did to you and your mum. You’re not like that.” Even the fact he was clearly remorseful, meant he was nothing like his father. That abuse had gone on for years, with no shame, no regret. Both Sam and his mother had scars from the things he’d done to them, physical and mental, and even after what had gone on, I knew that Sam wasn’t capable of that. “But I don’t wanna be like him at all. I don’t want even an ounce of that, y’know. And I feel so sick about what happened, and I just wanted to sit you down and… tell you how sorry I am. Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry. You… You’re perfect, you don’t deserve that. You’ve never been anything but amazing to me, and… I dunno. I think losing you just… messed with me, and I’m sorry.” I believed he was sorry. I’d believed he was sorry at the time, as soon as he’d come to his senses, but it was never going to be quite enough. I’d never be able to look at him the same way, I’d never be able to trust him and have a normal friendship with him. I didn’t necessarily forgive him, but I understood him. “Okay.” I nodded eventually. “I get it. I hope you feel better… after this.” “I hope so too.” Things got awkward quickly, but thankfully, I had a good reason to leave. I was glad I hadn’t bought a drink. “I’m gunna go, Sam. I’ve got a defence class with Harry, so-” “Harry?” “Yeah.” He huffed, and although I had to be slightly more understanding of his disdain after the fight they’d had, if you could even call it that, I still didn’t appreciate his apparent hatred toward Harry. “What’s his issue?” He glowered. “What?” “What’s his issue with me?” “What do you think, Sam?” “Why does he even know about it? It’s none of his fucking business.” “But it’s my business, and I can tell whoever I want, so I told him. I dunno why you’re so touchy about him.” “He had an issue with me before that anyway. I’m not touchy about him, I just don’t trust him. He’s more fucking violent than I am.” “Drop it, Sam.” “The lad’s bad news. He just wants to get in your fucking knickers, Alfie. Open your eyes.” “I’m done.” I said blankly, getting to my feet. “Thanks for your weak attempt to make things right, but I’m really fucking done.” He tried to call me back to him, but I didn’t want to hear another word. I’d actually been foolish enough to believe for a few moments that we’d be able to end the conversation on a relatively positive note. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad things could get if Sam actually knew about what had been happening with me and Harry, whatever the hell that was. We hadn’t really discussed what was going on with us since we’d sort of rekindled the night of the storm, we’d just fallen back together in a wonderful way. We spent every minute we could with another, and it felt incredible. We’d been unbelievably close for the past few weeks since he’d shared what had happened to his father with me, closer than we’d ever been, closer and more intimate than we’d ever been, and as far as I’d been concerned, and we’d still kept it all to ourselves. We hadn’t really talked about it, and I wasn’t sure where we were heading, what was going to happen between us, what we really meant to one another, but it was something we wanted to explore, and for the past few weeks that had been enough. Keeping things between us still felt like the best thing. Rosebury had a big mouth for such a small place. I slammed the door shut behind me, taking a few steps in the right direction before I heard a voice. “Oi.” I turned around, seeing Harry leaning against the front wall of the pub, gym gear on, ready for the first one-on-one session we’d had for a very long time. Seeing him made me smile in ways it never had before. “Hi.” I calmed from the sight of him alone, slowly walking over to him. “What’re you doing here? I said I’d meet you at the gym.” “I know, sorry, I just wanted to check on you. I was feeling… uneasy. Annoyed. Sorry.” “It’s okay.” “How’d it go?” “Not great, to be honest. The boy’s a total wanker.” I rolled my eyes. “I could’a told you that.” He smirked, making me smile. “As long as you’re okay?” “I’m fine, let’s just go before he sees us and has a bloody meltdown. He really hates you, y’know?” “Feeling’s fucking mutual.” He tutted, looking back over his shoulder as we set off towards the gym. I don’t think I’d appreciated just how much of a blessing it was that Sam had left when he had. It had been nice to just exist for a while without having to worry about him, without him being around, without even needing to think about him. I truly despised the fact he was back, that I had to deal with him again. I really didn’t have the energy for it. It still felt more likely that Harry would disappear again rather than Sam, and I hated that. “You ever need me to smack him one again, I’d be glad to.” “I thought you tried to avoid all that stuff?” I tried to withhold my smile. “Summat about him though, I don’t really mind.” “Well, thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass.” I hoped that Harry would be able to control his anger the next time he had an encounter with Sam, whenever that would be. He seemed to be quite playful with his threats, but I couldn’t guarantee things wouldn’t get rowdy when they were face to face with one another. The past few weeks that Harry and I had spent with each other had been divine. Unexpected, but divine. When I’d gone to see him on New Year’s Day, I had already made my mind up, confident that the feelings I’d developed were not shared. I was utterly convinced that there wasn’t a chance that his heart had shifted in the way mine had, and as painful as it had been, I’d settled into this state where I had no other option than to move on, try to get over him. He’d proved me wrong, in his own way. He was still quiet, but he’d said enough, he’d started acting differently, in the little things he did. He had told me that whatever he felt with me had to mean something, and I agreed. It was still something that we needed to test, tease, try. But his actions had changed, slightly, yet enough for me to notice and flutter with excitement with every touch. He was so tender with me, and he always had been really, but it had increased. He’d hold my hand, lock me in his grip at night, stare at me for no other reason than looking. There hadn’t been much more of a discussion in regards to his family and his past since we’d spoken about his father, but I could tell that it had been a constructive experience for him.  A weight had been lifted, and I could see it in everything he did. He seemed to be doing better, have a lighter aura than the heavy one he’d carried before. Things were good. “So what’s on the cards for today’s class?” I queried. “We’re early, actually.” He said, checking his watch. “So I think maybe… enjoy some alone time before I start the lesson.” “And what does alone time entail?” I asked suggestively. “Uhm,” He chuckled, somewhat nervously. “Whatever you want it to.” “Interesting.” We turned the corner, the building where he held his classes coming into sight, but that wasn’t all we saw. Stood by the door leading inside, was Libby, Chloe, and then Niall was sat down on the floor, all with their gym-wear on, shivering, waiting to be let indoors. “THEY’RE HERE!” Chloe squealed excitedly, Niall leaping up off the curb, stumbling to his feet and rushing towards us. “What the hell are you doing?” I giggled when he collided against me, took me into his arms, giving me a big cuddle. “We thought we’d come and try out one of these one-on-one lessons.” Libby explained as Niall squeezed the life out of me. “Uhh,” Harry seemed both amused and unsure. “This is kinda one-on-four though.” “Don’t worry, it’s just a one off.” Libby smiled. “Next week, we’ll leave you be, but after learning what Sam did to Alf, you’re not the only one who wants to smack him in the face, Harry.” I’d asked Libby to tell the group what I’d told her about me and Sam, because otherwise I would have never heard the end of it. After what Harry had done, it was either tell the truth or deal with endless questions that I couldn’t answer, so it was best to just let everyone know and then we could forget the whole thing. She’d told them all at some point over the past few weeks, so they were all up to speed and incredibly understanding of Harry’s actions, despite the fact it definitely wasn’t the best way to handle any situation. I felt so much better about them all knowing than I thought I would. “Alright, fine.” Harry sniggered, going to unlock the door. “Niall, nice to see you’ve finally joined.” “I’m so sorry that bastard did that to you.” He ignored him, still hugging me, words wafting through my hair. “If I’d have known I would have been right there with Harry punching him right to the ground.” “Well then I think it’s a good job you didn’t know.” I tittered, pushing him away towards Harry, who was holding the door open for us. “And you.” Niall sighed to him. “What a legend you are. The way you just took him out, boom. I loved it.” “Thanks.” He sniggered. “Don’t encourage him!” I tried. I walked through the door, glancing over my shoulder as I wandered up the stairs to see Harry and Niall share an attempt at a discreet high-five, rolling my eyes and then journeying on. “OI OI!” We heard from outside, seconds before Harry closed the door. “Sorry we’re late!” I recognised Louis’ voice and knew that Lin would be with him. I got to the top of the stairs, turning to see them both arrive, out of breath, almost crashing right into Harry as they came to an abrupt halt. “Holy shit, you’re all here!” Harry cried. “Avengers assemble!” Lin spoke proudly, before they all started walking up towards me. Grinning, I made my way into the room, practically giddy over the fact they’d all turned up for this session, and that was before I’d even spotted that Louis had even put on legwarmers and a sweatbands for the occasion, one around his head and one on either wrist. We all went into the gym, the lads complimenting Harry on the space since it was their first time there, and I felt so ridiculously happy. The only reason they’d turned up was for my benefit, to make me smile, to make me laugh, to make me feel better. I knew the next hour or so wouldn’t be spent too seriously, but they wanted to show me that they had my back. The entire setup was all there to put a smile on my face, and it was working marvellously. I loved them all so much. “How much do we owe you?” Louis asked Harry. “Huh?” “How much do you charge for one of these sessions? Don’t think we’re not gunna cough up.” “Oh. I… Well, I don’t charge her.” “What?” Chloe gawped. “I see her for free.” He shrugged. “It didn’t feel right to make her pay. Not after what happened. So… it’s free.” “You’re really just the perfect man, aren’t you?” Niall sighed. “Hardly.” He disagreed, then clapped his hands together. “Alright, c’mon. Spread around the room, get your own space. I wanna see you all do some lunges. And make it sexy!” The lads were on it instantly, Louis looking as though he was a dancer they’d removed from the ‘Let’s Get Physical’ video, and I burst out laughing within seconds. I felt so ridiculously happy.

I liked seeing Harry in my bed. Usually, we spent time at his place, but since mine was first on the walk back from the gym, it just made sense to stumble into my flat and call it a night. We’d avoided our usual routine of going to the pub, which hadn’t been too suspicious given how exhausted the lads were after attending one of Harry’s actual classes. He’d asked them to stay, try it out, be serious after over an hour of the seven of us completely messing around, and they’d said yes. By the end of it they all looked like they were about to pass out. So that meant we’d wound up at my place, and Harry was back in my bed. He looked right there, wrapped up in my pink duvet, almost naked beneath it, watching me as I made us hot chocolates wearing nothing but his shirt, ignoring the rain outside. Things felt calm, comfortable, right. “Today was so much fun.” He smiled dozily. “Wasn’t it?” “Sorry we didn’t get to do our class though.” “That’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” I shrugged, turning down the heat on the hob. “It was good. It kinda… Well I guess it sort of felt like a different sort of therapy to the usual ones, but therapy nonetheless.” “Good, m’glad.” I poured out our drinks into the mugs I’d gotten out and then approached him, passing his over to him before clambering onto my side of the bed and crossing my legs. “I love how much they all care about you. How you all care about each other.” He spoke gently, staring forward. “Y’know… you’re a part of that now. You know that, right?” I said, but he didn’t say anything. “They care about you, Harry. They really do, and I do too. A lot.” “I dunno, I just… I sometimes still feel like I’m intruding, and-” “Fuck, please don’t feel like that. They all adore you. It just works, doesn’t it? You fit in so well. Y’know… when you disappear and stuff…” I approached the topic anxiously. “They all miss you, and worry about you, and… We want you to come home. You’re a part of it now, you’re not intruding.” I sat up, turning so I was facing him and crossing my legs, despising how unsure he seemed. “I guess I’m just not used to it.” He sighed. “Get used to it.” I smirked, spotting how coy he looked, making me think that really deep down, he knew all this already. “You’ve moved somewhere great and you’ve got a whole group of people who really care about you. It’s a really good thing, don’t look so… freaked by it, okay?” “Okay.” He smiled softly. There were still a lot of things I wanted to ask Harry, a lot of questions I had about him that still hadn’t been answered, but I didn’t want to rush any of it. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to tell me every single thing. Just because he’d worked up the courage to talk about one thing, didn’t mean it would all come naturally from there on out; it was still going to be difficult for him, an uphill struggle against the forces that had kept him down and held him back for so many years. All I wanted him to know was that when he was ready, I’d be there for him, listening, attempting to ease the pain in any way I could. I was starting to believe then when he’d disappear for weeks at a time, it was to go and visit his mother or his brother, wherever they might be, but I was patiently waiting for him to confirm that. However, there was a conversation I believed the two of us did need to have, and I needed to take the plunge and say it. “You’re not going anywhere anytime soon, are you?” I asked. “You’re gunna… stay here, right?” “That’s my plan, yeah. I’ve got no intentions of… moving again. I like it here. Feels good.” “Okay, good. So… I was just kinda wondering… what’s going on with us.” I had my eyes down, fixed on my drink, both hands clasped around the porcelain. “Us?” “Mm.” Although things had been so amazing between us, so zealous and beautiful, we actually hadn’t slept with one another since he’d gotten back. I wasn’t entirely sure why, and I’d instigated it before, but he’d always backed down, asked that we wait. I think he had wanted to feel that difference, be completely sure of the change between us, and maybe he wanted to prove that to me, too. Everything had been so physical before he’d finally managed to speak, and I believed he wanted to demonstrate that things truly had transformed, that whatever we were now was not the same as we were in the last year. But I had missed being with him that way. I missed feeling him and being wholly enveloped by him. We had kissed endlessly, had our hands all over one another, but we still hadn’t returned to that place, we hadn’t rekindled that special connection we had fully. Things felt good, they felt right, but I wanted to make sure that we were headed in a direction of true romance, finally on the same page. He didn’t say anything for quite some time, so long that I actually managed to lift my head to look at him, find him staring at me, smiling sweetly. “You’re really fucking cute. Are you aware of how cute you are?” He grinned. “C’mon, Harry.” I extended my leg briefly to kick him weakly. “I’m really putting myself out here-” “Hey, I know, I know.” He reached for my hand, snatching it away from the mug. “M’sorry.” “I just don’t want us… to fall back into the routine we were in before. But I also don’t want you to think that we can’t… be like we were before. That doesn’t make sense, does it? Fuck. I don’t… I dunno.” I sighed heavily. “I don’t want to keep going with this, if you don’t feel… what I’m feeling. And you know what I’m feeling, so I’m just… Yeah, okay, I’ll shut up. You talk.” Without hesitation, he leaned down to the ground so he could place his drink on the floor before coming back up, hitching towards me, taking me cheek in his hand and pulling my face so our lips could meet, almost agonisingly tender. “Harry,” I gasped against his lips, the tips of our noses brushing as he turned his head from one side to the other. “Talk to me.” “I want this.” He whispered between kisses. “I want you.” He took the drink out of my hands, rushing to place it on the ground beside his before coming back to me, raising his body to hover over mine and force me to lie down, his mouth latching to my neck. I closed my eyes, chest rising. “Tell me this is different now.” I asked breathily. “Tell me this isn’t like it was before.” “This is different. We’re different.” “Please tell me you feel how I do. Tell me I mean something to you.” He lifted himself, pressing his forehead to mine, lips parted, brows low, fingers tangling into my hair. “Something?” “Something.” I giggled uneasily. “You mean more to me than something.” His voice was deep, assured. “It’s just me and you, Fee. Just me and you.” He kissed me again, tongue meeting mine within seconds, body hot and heavy on mine. It seemed even more complicated, somehow; keeping things from our friends when it meant more than just fucking, but I didn’t care. It suited the two of us, keeping things quiet, and I didn’t want to complicate something that already felt complicated. I liked things only being between the two of us, and until we knew exactly where we stood, I knew it was better to keep it that way. We still had a lot to learn about one another and the feelings we were experiencing. It was just me and him. We quickly became breathless as we kissed, and I half expected him to put an end to it again, ask that we hold out a little longer, but he didn’t. He pulled away and started undressing me, unbuttoning the shirt of his I’d been wearing, eyes gliding down my body as it was revealed to him. I lifted my eyes to look at him, watch his face, take it in, and I could see something was different already. The confidence he usually had, the assurance and the smugness, it wasn’t there. He seemed anxious, apprehensive, tentative, trembles trancing his body. I was starting to realise that with Harry, his actions often spoke much louder than his words. He hadn’t told me why he wanted to wait, he hadn’t told me how much this all meant to him, but I could see it. I could sense it and I could see it and it was enough. As he fiddled with the buttons on the shirt, I reached out, pulling the band of his boxers down and taking his dick in my hand, feeling it stiffen within my palm, short of breath. There was already an emotion tied to our intimacy that hadn’t been present before. We’d barely touched each other and it was so apparent, so forceful and potent. I was almost nervous, because I knew it was going to be so different to how it had been. It was like I was already threatened by the feelings it would bring. He leaned down to me, kissing me sweetly and briefly, tugging his boxers further down as I widened my legs, lolling my head back as his lips went down to my neck. He placed his fingers against my core, smoothing over me, testing the area before he put his tip against me, teasing my entrance for a second before he pushed in fully, cursing against my neck as he did. “Fuck.” I felt strangely overwhelmed. It had been around a month since we’d last slept with each other, but it felt like it had been so much longer than that. I couldn’t believe the feeling that washed over me then, when he pushed in fully, his head dropping down to the side, landing on my shoulder. He was still, taking a moment to breathe, take in the sensation he was experiencing. I wondered what had altered in him, what had been the thing that made him realise he felt more, that things between us needed to be this way and not how it had been. I wondered if it had hit him in one moment, or if it had been gradual, that I had played on his mind when he was away, that he’d overthought and questioned both his head and heart and then come to the conclusion that he needed more from us in the same way I did. He had been so different with me since we’d relit our flame, but seeing his reaction then truly confirmed how differently he was feeling about us, how bright we burned. He had told me himself that sex wasn’t special to him, and it had only been a matter of seconds and I could see that had changed. It was likely that this was the first time that sex had ever been special for Harry, and that was happening with me. He brought his head around to rest it on mine, motionless, breathing heavily. “What the fuck.” He whispered. “Mm. Agreed.” He giggled, easing a little after that and lowering his mouth back to mine to kiss me again, his body soothing into the feeling. Slowly, he started to move his hips, winding them leisurely and taking my jaw into his hand, wonderfully tender with every move he made. My chest was rising and falling at an alarming pace as I lay there just taking it, allowing myself to consume and cherish every single movement of his body and every single emotion that ambushed my heart. It wasn’t the first time we’d been so delicate and relaxed when we slept together, and Harry was tender more often than not, but it wasn’t just that. It wasn’t captured in the speed or the way he touched me, but instead it was seized in my heart and my mind; it wasn’t necessarily the physical act anymore that was the cause of the pleasure we were experiencing. As painful as it had been, I was thankful we’d waited, avoided sex for some time. It made the feeling all the sweeter. “I’m so obsessed with you.” Harry sighed. I could have stayed in that moment forever. If the option was there, I would have, just so I could always embrace that feeling. It was a sensation like no other, to be so completely engrossed by someone, for them to be the only thing that mattered. I wasn’t simply obsessed with him in return, I was obsessed with us. Groaning, he reached a hand downwards to touch me, play with my sensitivity, gasping as our tongues met again, sliding together as I cracked my neck back. Heat was a fixture within every inch of my body, burning in my stomach and lighting my chest with unprecedented blazes. The sparks of our passion were rushing across my frame, dashes of fire dancing across my skin, speckled across me like flicks of paint. Being with him was magic. My body spasmed as his fingers flicked over my clit, Harry reacting to my tremors. “Holy fuck.” He trembled, his lips stretching into a gorgeous smile. “I don’t think I can last.” “I’m not surprised. The past few weeks have just been like fucking foreplay.” He laughed again, chuckling as he rested his forehead against my temple and started kissing my cheek numerous times in quick succession, my skin likely bursting bright pink beneath his lips as I giggled. “You’re amazing.” He mumbled against my cheek, before looking down to me again, completely still now, out of the moment and yet somehow making the moment even more special. We were so ourselves, so natural and smitten. “I’m… I’m sorry. For waiting, I mean.” “Don’t be sorry.” “I just… I… This is all so new for me. All of it. I’ve not been with anyone… like this before. I’ve not felt any of this before and I really… I wanted to be sure of it.” “And are you?” He answered me by gradually lowering his mouth to mine and kissing me, slow at first until suddenly it wasn’t. He thrust, hard, before he grabbed at my waist and pulled me with him as he shot up on his knees, soon falling back and placing me upon him so I was straddling his legs, squealing as he moved me like my weight was non-existent. I was in shock, chuckling as I grabbed at his face, steadying myself. “I forget how bloody strong you are.” He bit his lip and pulled me even closer, holding his dick so that I could easily lower myself onto him, satisfied and awed the second we joined again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding myself close, tracing my tongue against his bottom lip before he widened his mouth to welcome me, his fingers gripping tighter on my waist. Leisurely, I swirled my hips, feeling as though I was concentrating more on the way we were kissing than anything else, focusing on our closeness, our intimacy. I felt so small when I was pushed against his frame like that, his hands shrinking my body with their obscene width. I moved my hands, crawling them up his jaw and that latching into his hair, pulling momentarily before the tips of my fingers caressed lightly down the centre of his neck and then scratched brazenly at the top of his back, thriving off the grunt he fashioned because of my assault on his soft skin. He bucked his hips, biting at my bottom lip, scrunching his nose as he did, raising one hand to latch at my neck and push my head even further towards his so that there was no chance of distance, keen to keep my lips with his, strong, fierce. I couldn’t get close enough. I was practically smothering him and I still wished there was a way we could be closer, for every inch of my skin to be in contact with him somehow. I’d never had sex with quite so much passion before. I’d never had sex that felt so beautifully overbearing. “Alfie,” He gasped. “You-you need to chill. M’really not gunna last if you keep moving like this.” “I don’t care.” I mulled, kissing his shaking lips. “Finish, I don’t care.” “Fuck. I’ll make up for it, I’ll- Fuck that’s it.” He ground. “You feel amazing.” I kept my eyes on him, embracing the sight, embracing the feeling I got that I was doing that to him, that he felt so good because of me and the way I stirred atop him. He tried to gather himself for my sake, rushing to take his lips to my chest and then down to my nipple, his hand moving from my waist to press his thumb firmly against my clit, jolt it brutally back and forth. I was absurdly sensitive, wanting to flinch away from the contact yet at the same time praying he wouldn’t stop, my whimpers a mixture of pleasure and agony. I distanced from him, but he pulled me closer, kissing back up my chest and neck until our lips met again. My whole body ached with satisfaction, so overwhelming it was like I could burst into tears at any second. “Ha-Harry… I can’t.” “You can.” He brought his wet thumb upwards, gently forcing it in my mouth. “C’mon, boss.” I plunged my hips forward with force, sucking on his thumb and releasing, my orgasm taking complete control. My neck slackened so my head fell backwards and his thumb fell from between my lips, his hands returning to my waist to keep me in place so he could thrust into me a final few times, cursing with each peak. I grasped at his neck to weakly pull myself upwards so I could watch him as he came, his lips parted but still smiling somehow, eyelids shimmering, hair messy, blissed out in such a beautiful way. I was completely infatuated. He looked dizzily happy. I stroked the backs of my fingers against his cheek, kissing the tip of his nose. He opened his eyes, looking over my face quietly. “You’re so beautiful.” His voice was quiet, breathy, but confident. “Don’t-” I blushed, dropping my head. “No, I mean it.” He put his fingers beneath my chin and lifted my head again. “You’re beautiful.” I didn’t really know how to accept his kind words, biting nervously at my lip and turning bright red. I simply wasn’t used to it from him. I wasn’t used to it at all, really. “Not too bad yourself.” I mumbled. “Not too bad?” He smirked, lifting a brow. “Mm.” “Alright. That’s good enough for me.” He shrugged. “I bet my hot chocolate’s cold.” “Is that really what you’re thinking about right now?” “Yeah.” “You’re something else, Hunter.” He sniggered. “Alright, c’mon. Let’s get snuggled.” It was so nice to hear him say cute things like that. I’d managed to fall for him when he was quiet, reluctant to share, when our intimacy was practically confined to sex; I had still fallen for him then, and suddenly things had changed. He was opening up to me, saying adorable things and being so tender with me and my feelings were swelling with each passing second. We readied ourselves for another night in bed, eventually returning to our hot chocolates, which thankfully still had a bit of heat, enough that I could drink it comfortably. Soon, we snuggled down close together, side by side, facing one another. “Fee?” “Mm?” I just about acknowledged him, my eyes closed and mind woozy. “You make me really happy.” I bolted my eyes open then, sort of shocked by his words. I don’t know why I was shocked. He’d always been so nice to me, and I could tell from the way we were that I was making him happy, but just hearing him put it so bluntly actually surprised me. “I do?” “The happiest I’ve been for years.” “That… That’s not just down to me.” I dismissed. “I think that’s because of everything you’ve got in Rosebury.” “You’re the main thing.” He said bluntly. “I… Really?” “Yeah. No doubt in my mind.” “I… I feel the same way.” He grinned, bashful as he swept me into his arms, tucking me into his body and kissing the top of my head. I could barely comprehend the change we were undergoing, but I was loving everything about it. It was the happiest I’d been for years. I cuddled close, pecking his lips and smiling coyly. “I like being like this with you.” I admitted. “Mm. I didn’t… I didn’t realise how much I’d like it, really. But it’s… Yeah. I’m sorry I struggled. I don’t… I don’t feel like I’m struggling anymore. I dunno if that makes sense.” “As long as it makes sense to you.” He nodded, and I found myself wondering if he meant he didn’t feel like he was struggling in general, rather than just struggling to open himself up to actually be serious with someone, let his emotions take control. I felt like he really had been struggling within himself, and slowly, it was getting easier for him. He brushed his thumb across my lip and then kissed me again, my stomach spiralling with the sensation, butterflies fluttering around in there carelessly. “I’m just glad you’re mine.” He hushed, our smiles growing against each other as he cupped my jaw. “My Fee-Fee.” I hit his belly playfully, gently, the butterflies escaping my stomach and flying around my whole room, surrounding us completely. I think that was the first moment I fully accepted that he saw me as his. And it was the first time I’d been able to accept that he was finally mine.

[praecipiopatronum]

A love-letter to rp

So! I’ve reached 500 followers today, which is absolutely insane!

I wanted to write something on the topic of the hp rp community for a while, but never really had the time/emotional capacity, and I don’t have much of it today either, but it’s a well enough opportunity to do it anyway. It’s gonna be a little sappy and very personal, but I’m someone who thinks a lot about their own mind and this is where it got me. Also it’s TMI-tuesday, so buckle up!

I am still fairly new to this community, started in /checks profile/ April. (I could have sworn it was longer). I don’t know a lot of people, though I’m slowly expanding the list of people I follow and get in contact with and there are a lot of amazing creators here to be added. So many brilliant writers, impressive actors, actual shapeshifters... It can be intimidating. It definitely was for me. I saw you guys supporting and celebrating each other and I really wanted to be a part of that, because there are literally no limits or bars here that you need to meet. You don’t have a uniform? Casual clothes it is, then! You don’t have a wig? Fuck it, what is canon hair anyways? Got no binder? Who cares? You are still a valid and included member of this community and that’s mindblowingly beautiful to me, who’s seen the competitive sides of cosplay in various forms.

I’ve always admired creative people. People with a passion. I don’t care about the value of a production, I want to see the spark in your eyes when you talk about it! I want to see how much you enjoy what you’re doing! And boy, do you guys deliver!

This goes for me, too. I love to create. My mind is spinning stories and making up scenarios 24/7 and I like that about myself. The problem is getting it out. I have a history in creative outlets, including acting on stage in amateur productions, writing wholeass plays for those productions, writing fanfictions, shooting videos. All of these are great and fullfilling in one way or another, but there’s always a downside.

Acting in groups means compromising. Right now, it also means traveling a lot for rehearsals in a different city. It’s expensive and draining. Sadly. Writing for these groups ended up being a chore, because my love for writing was overshadowed by the task when it came to plays on topics I wasn’t invested in. Writing fanfictions is easily the most ungrateful fanwork, with minimal recognition and when you feel like no one is reading what you write, you start asking yourself why you even bother? I also lack the stamina to write the full length fanfictions my mind comes up with. I’m not a native english speaker and will never be as good as the writers that are and that discourages me. More to that later. Shooting videos and pictures was the best outlet so far. I got to work on more stuff just for me, stuff I like doing and that made me happy. But it’s also hard to shoot a video and act in front of the camera at the same time. And bigger projects require a lot of planning and scheduling and when all your friends literally live at the other side of the country or in different countries. I don’t want to plan, I just want to create. I want to portal to friends, I want them to magically have time, I want some time on my own -which I literally never have- and I want to be able to control my camera x-men style, with the power of my thoughts only.

All of that is obviously never going to happen, this is why I love this form of creativity here so much. I don’t have to write down every single thing for an online. I don’t have to write down shorter threads that I’m doing on my own. I don’t need a shit-ton of planning, I just get into costume whenever I have the time, whenever it suits my schedule, and then I create! Absolutely mind-blowing!

I pay a lot of attention to details. Backgrounds, costumes, I’m a sucker for the little things that in the end, half of you don’t even notice. And I want things to be perfect. I have this really high standard for literally everything I do, that doesn’t count for anyone else, just for me. I need to know that I gave something my best shot and with every other creative outlet before, I didn’t feel like I did/do them justice. I always feel like it’s not good enough or I could have put more effort into it, I constantly strugge to meet my own expectations. (I want to stress that this does in no way go for others. I don’t judge based on “quality”, I don’t judge based on ressources. I’m not trying to “raise the bar” -which I’ve been told in tags that I do-, the only person who needs to impress me, is me. Anybody else: If you love what you’re doing, that’s absolutely enough and I love you for doing it!)

Anyway: Here, it’s easier. The limitations to this format give me a different goal. I don’t have to think about different camera angles, filling time with beauty shots, camera movement, because those don’t exist here. I don’t have to worry about correct pronounciation or my accent, because they don’t exist here. I can’t compare myself to people coming up with the most extravagant phrases and vocabulary that’s just far enough from day to day language for me to know it but not think of it myself when writing narration, because most narration is done visually here! Emotions, inner struggle, everything translates via acting only and I’m absolutely loving it!

So thank you for this community. Thank you for this opportunity. Thank you for including me. The interactions and feedback here mean the world to me and I have so much planned that I can’t wait to get to once my offline-life lets me. Collaborations with people I’ve grown not only to admire but genuinely love. Special shout-out to @softsiriusblack and @the-moon-and-stars-my-love, who put up with literally all my angsty bullshit and have been nothing but kind and supportive.

I’m still anxious every time I dm someone about literally any kind of collab. I’m still incredibly nervous every time I send someone a script. I’m still awfully scared whenever I post any content, but I’m getting there and the soft landing within this community that follows after every tiny or huge leap of faith, is a blessing.

Thank you.

One more thing, that’s less related to the hp rp community itself: This is the first time I added they/them pronouns to any online bio. I always only went for she/her, which is still fine, I guess, but I’ve been struggling with gender a lot lately, trying to know myself better and I thought: Where if not in a majorly lgbtq+ community on tumblr, just to kind of “try it on”. And it feels pretty incredible that you all immediately used it. Because it feels kinda nice.

So, another thank you for that <3