#when i saw you asked about this one i was like YES. YES MY PLAN WORKED

[band--psycho]

Sylus x Reader - A Little Birdie Told Me

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Warnings: Jealous Sylus, hints of mature themes towards the end

Sylus was fully expecting to get back home to feathers, metal and blood everywhere; what else was he meant to expect when leaving you and Mephisto together for a prolonged period of time. 

You two didn’t get along. 

Sylus knew this. 

But you owed him, since he looked after the dove you found, just before going away on a work trip. 

Much to his own surprise though, you didn’t argue with him when he asked you to check in on Mephisto; which naturally only made him more suspicious. 

You were planning something. 

He didn’t know what, but the mischievous glint that was showing in your eyes as he left, confirmed his suspicions. 

That’s why he was expecting at least part of his mansion to be somewhat trashed. 

But it wasn’t. 

There were no stray feathers. 

No shards of metal. 

No specks of blood from where Mephisto could have pecked you. 

There was nothing; everything was exactly how he left it. 

And instead of his home  being filled with the sound of yours and Mephistos petty squabbles, something that he’d gotten quite used to recently, his home was silent. 

‘Maybe Luke and Kieran were right,’ he thought to himself, hanging his leather jacket on the coat hook by his front door, thinking back to what the twins had told him a few days ago as he made his way down the hall. 

According to the twins, you and Mephisto were getting along fine; more than fine in fact, according to them you two were almost inseparable, like you were friends. 

But that was a ridiculous thought, you two didn’t get along, you’d both told him that, which is what made the picture he got sent even more puzzling. 

The picture was of you, reading, as you so often do, but this time Mephisto was perched on the arm of the chair next to and your free hand was on his head, petting him.

Was that part of the reason he came back a few days earlier than he’d intended to from his trip?

Yes. 

He needed answers. 

Though it was also because that picture made him realise just how much he hated being away from you and how much he hated that he wasn’t the one being given your attention. 

Granted you could be a pain in the ass at times, sassing him at any given opportunity as well as always pushing him to do the ‘right’ thing…but he’d grown to love those qualities about you. 

You changed him. 

He knew you’d had an affect on him long ago, however it wasn’t until recently whilst he was away from you that he realised two things, 1) How much of an affect you’d truly had on him and 2) How much he’d missed everything about you; your witty and sarcastic remarks, the way your infectious smile could light up a room, the way you hummed  along to whatever song was playing through your headphones as you danced in his kitchen, completely oblivious to his presence. 

Everything. 

And now that he was home, he just wanted to see you. 

Needed to see you. 

That was the whole reason why he asked you to look after Mephisto in the first place, not that he’d ever tell you that. 

He walked into the living room, a soft smile quickly forming on his lips as he saw you fast asleep on the sofa, your body wrapped in the blanket you’d claimed as yours after a few visits, your music blaring into your ears at the loudest possible volume. 

Though Sylus’ smile faltered as he took a few more steps closer to you, allowing him to see his mechanical bird nestled in the crook of your neck, little satisfied coos left his beak as the two of you continued to sleep peacefully. 

Of all the scenarios he thought he’d be walking into, this was the most unexpected; a complete juxtaposition to what he’d assumed he’d be walking into.

He should’ve felt relief in the fact that neither of you had killed the other, but relief was not the emotion he was feeling. 

Jealousy however was. 

The same feeling that he’d tried to push to the side when he saw the picture from the twins

That’s how maddening his feelings were for you, only you could ever make him jealous of Mephisto. 

What had happened whilst he was away?

Had he somehow ended up in an alternate reality where you and Mephisto were friends? 

He shook his head at the absurd thoughts racing around in his head; but what he was seeing was exactly that, absurd. 

He wanted to wake you so he could get some answers, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so, mainly because of how peaceful you looked. 

Mephisto though was different. 

Sylus had no issue in waking him up and thanks to the music you were listening to, you wouldn’t be disturbed by his annoyed caws once he was awoken. 

~~~~~~

Safe to say, Mephisto was very unhappy at being woken up. 

And his grouchiness was naturally directed towards the person who’d disturbed him. 

“All I’m asking is, what suddenly made you two so close?” Sylus asked, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to ignore the jealousy remarks the crow was making. 

One thing was immediately clear to Sylus, Mephisto had certainly adopted your sassy retorts to questions. 

“I’m not,” Sylus denied; only to be mocked by the bird in front of him. 

He was becoming as infuriating as you were. 

“Are you two arguing?” You asked, your words catching Sylus off guard; he’d been so busy interrogating Mephisto that he’d been completely oblivious to you waking up or finding them in the study that they were currently standing in. 

“No,” Sylus answered simply, turning around to look at you. 

You were leaning against the doorframe of his study, your eyes meeting his and holding his gaze; it was like you were trying to read his thoughts. 

Thankfully, mind reading was not a skill you possessed. 

Much to Sylus’ dismay though, he didn’t need to answer you, because Mephisto answered for him. 

“Mephisto says you’re lying,” you stated, biting back the triumphant smile that wanted nothing more than to spread across your lips. 

Sylus didn’t know what was more shocking, the fact that she understood the Crow now behind him, or the fact that said crow had betrayed him in such a way. 

“I’m aware of what he said, sweetie,” Sylus pointed out, his voice laced with frustration as he quickly shot a glare at Mephisto. 

He knew you were going to ask why he was lying and just like that, those very words fell from your lips. 

Once again, Mephisto answered before Sylus could even open his mouth to speak; before flying very, very quickly out of the study, leaving you and Sylus alone together. 

“You were jealous?” You asked, taking a few steps closer to Sylus. 

Sylus didn’t want to admit it, but you were annoyingly persistent when you wanted answers. 

So unless he wanted to be continuously asked about Mephistos comment (Which he didn’t) he had no other choice to answer your question honestly.

“Yes,” he admitted, his voice low as you continued walking towards him, only stopping once you were directly infront of him. 

“Why?” You pushed.

He hated to admit that he was jealous; let alone saying the reason why…revealing how much he really craved your attention.

“Because I-” his words trailed off as he began to notice a playful smirk tugging at your lips, the realisation dawning on him in that very moment. 

You already knew why. 

This had all been some elaborate plan to get him to admit his feelings for you. 

“Who told you?” Sylus questioned, watching as your smirk grew.

“Who told me what?” You teased coyly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re a terrible liar, sweetie,” he whispered, leaning down slightly so that his lips were brushing over the shell of your ear. 

His words alone were enough to send a shiver down your spine. 

“Who’s idea was this, yours or Mephistos?” He asked, placing a feather light kiss just under your ear. 

“Both,” you breathed out; reveling in the closeness between the two of you. 

“Thought you two didn’t get along?”  He asked quietly. 

Granted, you and Mephisto had your differences, and you didn’t always get along, but recently you’d grown quite accustomed to one another. 

Of course you squabbled, but the same way someone would with a sibling.

You knew Sylus was going to ask you to look after Mephisto, because the crow had told you so in secret.

That’s when the two of you came up with this plan. 

A plan to make Sylus jealous. 

You were never one hundred percent sure of his feelings towards you, you flirted often enough, but some people just had that type of connection, it didn’t mean he felt the same way about you, that you did him. 

“Things changed,” you answered back, your voice just as quiet as his.

“Is it true?” You asked, changing the topic of conversation as you turned your head slightly, so now your lips were inches apart. 

“Is what true?”

“What Mephisto told me about how you feel about me?”

Being this close to him was torture for the both of you; both of you waiting for the other to make the final move and close the little distance that was between you both.

He saw the anxiety creeping in your y/e/c orbs as you waited for him to answer your question. 

But he knew that he could do something better than telling you how he felt, he could show you. 

And with that thought in mind, he closed the distance between your lips. 

It took you a few seconds to actually process what was happening; but once you did you wasted no time in allowing your eyes to flutter shut and melt into the kiss. 

The kiss started off gentle, soft, the two of you clearly processing what was happening; but everything changed when you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, deepening the kiss.

His hands found a home on your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss intensified.

“Does that answer your question, kitten?” He murmured, pulling away from you slightly. 

“I don’t know, I think I could use some clarification,” you breathlessly chuckled before his lips met yours again, obliging to give you all the clarification you needed. 

Taglist:

@xacatalepsyx @the-slytherin-poet @deathkat657 @book-dragon03 @fangirlsfandomsss @evilldentists @hao-ming-8 @worm-in-a-bug @babygirl-panda19 @tasha-1994 @popcorn-mochi01 @cheesemachine44 @thegalaxysedge22 @inlovewithsylus

[lnlightning81]

Secret? No Never

Summary : You and Logan have hidden your relationship to most of the grid and definitely to the rest of the world. However, that changes at your home Grand Prix

Pairing/s: Logan Sargeant x Geordie!Driver!Wife!Reader (Ft. Most of the grid)

Word Count : 4.4k

Masterlist Logan Sargeant Masterlist Want to be included in my tag list? Click HERE

A/N: if you saw the unedited version of this you may have noticed I changed the gif. No reason just saw this one and liked it

Hiding your relationship with Logan wasn’t something that either of you had ever planned on but when Logan moved up to F1 no one ever asked him and no one ever asked you when you moved up the year after. 

Some close friends that you had known throughout your time in the junior formulas had known about the relationship, but how far they actually knew of the relationship was unknown to you and Logan. 

It was your favourite race this weekend -Silverstone- however Logan wasn’t so happy about it as it covered the 4th of July weekend but you knew that he’d get over that soon enough when he realised the dates that you were racing on. 

Silverstone covered your second anniversary as a married couple and your fourth as a couple in general. Now sat in the press conference with Sky Sports and other TV channels you and Logan were sitting next to each other. It wasn’t on purpose, though you had just come in late due to other media obligations and didn’t want to walk in front of the camera, so just sat down on the end next to Logan. 

“Now Y/N home race obviously. Feeling good about it?” The interviewer asked as you nodded 

“Aye. Why aye man don’t think you can feel bad aboot this one if you get me like” You nodded as the interviewer took a moment to catch up with what had just left your mouth. 

“And as a translation. Yes, I don’t think you can feel bad about this one if you understand what I mean” Logan hummed, and you looked at him confused before looking over at the interviewer, to which you nodded understandingly

“Sorry” You apologise 

“Logan, you seem quite familiar with what Y/N’s saying. Any reason in particular for that?” One of the interviewers in the crowd asked obviously, trying to stir up something for an article 

“I’ve been her teammate for almost seven years. I’ve known her longer than Oscar” He shrugged 

“A question for Y/N” One of the women in the crowd said, and you picked the microphone up, looking over 

“Obviously it’s your home race. You’re quite far away from home, have you been to see your family?” She asked, and you nodded 

“Aye, I went hame had a stottie with some peas pudding. Filled up ma suitcase as well as me mams extra suitcase to take some back hame with me” You replied your Geordie accent picking up more since you’d been home seeing your parents and now they were at the track 

“She went home had a special kind of bread roll with some cold peas soup basically, and she’s packed both her suitcase and her mums with it” Lando supplied 

“Sorry. I’ve been around my family too much now” You apologised again. Thankfully, there were very limited questions for you or Logan after that, so it allowed for you to sit talking with him about the plans for the rest of the weekend. 

Being teammates in the past meant that you never got to do these press conferences together, but now that you were racing with Alpine even after Oscar’s warning, you were able to do the conferences. 

The relationship between you and Pierre was brilliant even if there was a bit of a communication barrier between the two because when speaking French you still had your Geordie accent but when he spoke English you still use your Geordie slang. 

You did help him out and make a cheat sheet for him and Kika. Kika takes it more seriously than Pierre, which is why you liked her more. Who wouldn’t like Kika more anyway. However, apart from the communication barrier between yourself and Pierre, the relationship between the two of you was really good. 

Now that the press conference was done, you picked up your water bottle, walking out talking to Logan as you walked. 

“So I know I’ve been moody about being in the UK this weekend however I’ve just looked at the dates” You looked up at him with a hum 

“Glad you can finally read” You joked, and he laughed jokingly, pushing you out the way. Stopping to sign some things for fans and taking pictures with some fans 

“Are you planning on going back home while you’re in the UK?” A fan asked, and you shook your head 

“Nah, I’ve already been hame. I’ve got a trip tae Paris with the bosses” You pulled a face, and the fans laughed along. Logan carefully placed a hand on your lower back as he walked behind you, turning your head to look at him with a smile. 

Logan moved on talking to some other fans as your press officer -James- appeared behind you, and you smiled up at him innocently, knowing that you were meant to be elsewhere right now. 

“Y/N” He said in that tone that parents used to use when they were disappointed 

“The fans are more important than sky sports or whoever I’m meant to be with right now” You argued 

“I agree, however, the FIA does not agree” 

“Fine” You groaned, saying bye to Logan before following James to wherever you were meant to be doing the interview. 

The race was set to be a good one. Getting through to Q3 in quali and starting in 10th. It was the best that you could do with the car that you were given. Logan however wasn’t so lucky in his Williams, and you were more than annoyed with that stupid team principal who’s name you couldn’t say, and it got you in trouble with Alpine quite often. 

“Radio check Y/N” You engineer -Ethan- said 

“Aye I can hear ya” You nodded, adjusting your gloves as you looked at the cars around you just checking the setup of the cars 

“Remember just race clean and bring it home somewhere” Ethan replied 

“Tyre update?” You asked, and Ethan started explaining how each driver was going with their tires in this race. 

“Heard there's another Geordie somewhere in the paddock” Ethan said during the formation lap. 

“Oh aye. Will is in the Mclaren paddock” You nodded, following behind Alonso. Lined back up on the grid, all eyes on the lights in front and soon.. 

It was lights out and away, you all go

The first 30 or so laps went pretty good and simple. It wasn't until George Russell retired that your race started to change. You’d been known as being reckless. However, you didn’t want to be in your home race until that changed. 

“What is this fucking idiot on” You complained watching the fight in front of you however even though you were annoyed by the reckless driving you still managed to jump both places due to them not paying attention. 

A few more laps later, and you were starting to get very warm for Britain 

“Jesus I’m propa sweating like” You complained, opening up the visor to let some air in 

“It’s England” Ethan frowned, and you shrugged 

“And? I’m not fucking used to this weather it’s normally propa nippy like” You replied

“Well sorry I didn’t plan the weather right” 

The rest of the race was pretty boring for you. Stuck in traffic. It was exciting for other drivers and people watching, but there was no one around you to make it interesting. Pulling into the park ferme with a sigh as you sat there for a moment. 

Just taking a moment to let the race sink in. You’d come with slightly better hopes than just P9. Looking up, Pierre was leaning over your halo, and you pushed the visor up 

“Are you okay?” He asked, and you nodded 

“Aye just taking a moment to think through the race” Pierre nodded, tapping your helmet before walking off. Removing the headrest and steering wheel before getting out and replacing them. Walking over to get weighed, you took the slip before taking your helmet off and handing it all to your trainer. 

Logan appeared next to you, his hand subtly touching your own, and you couldn’t help but smile a little 

“Wanna know who finished behind you?” He asked, and you looked at him with a nodded 

“Aye why not” You nodded, taking your water bottle 

“Me” He hummed as you looked back up 

“Lo. Are you serious?” You asked, and he nodded. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug 

“Well done. I’m so proud of you” You smiled, and he nodded 

“I’m proud of you as well. I know we’re doing our best with our cars” You nodded  “You’re gonna meet me in my driver's room after the media” You hummed while taking a drink of your water. Logan nodded 

“I need to find Benny. Need a drink” He smiled, and you handed your water bottle over to him, and he smiled while taking a drink of it. 

“Benny’s owa there talking” You pointed over, and he nodded, looking over in that direction. Neither of you had noticed the cameras pointed in your direction as he handed you your bottle back 

“I’ll see you later then?” He asked, and you nodded, giving him a hug 

“Aye” You nodded, walking off to the media pen. 

Media was definitely the worst part about the job. Media to everyone was the worst part of the job, although you definitely had it harder. There were so many sexist reporters that just judged and made everything about the fact you were female. 

Sitting in your driver's room annoyed at the reporters, there was a knock on the door, causing you to get up and open it just to see Logan smiling at you from the other side. You just moved out the way, walking back over to your chair, causing him to frown as he shut the door behind him. 

“Love? What’s going on?” He asked, keeping his distance a little bit 

“I’m so fucking pissed off at those fucking stupid reporters” You groaned loudly throwing your head back wincing a bit as the wall was much closer than you thought. Logan walked over standing between your legs 

“I know you’re annoyed, but you're so hot when you're annoyed” He whispered, pulling your body into his own. Your head rested against his chest as your arms wrapped around his waist. 

“Divvent dee that” You whined, and he chuckled, wrapping his own arms around you as he leaned down to kiss your head. 

“I’m not doing anything” He shrugged, and you rolled your eyes as he chuckled a little looking down at you “Happy anniversary though, love. I’m not exactly happy we’re not spending tonight alone together though” He whispered, and you looked up at him 

“Happy anniversary even though I’ve already said it. Still got a gift for ye” You hummed 

“Your present is me” He joked, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little, knowing that you had promised each other not to actually go out and buy each other a present. “So I really wanted to kiss you out there once we got out of the cars. I think we should come clean. Like actually come out and say it not just subtly like we’re doing just now but make a statement to the rest of the grid” He spoke, and you looked up at him with a nod 

“Aye let’s do it” You nodded, and he smiled, leaning down and pressing his lips against your own. Your hands placed between his jaw and chin, pulling him in closer. Logan smiled into the kiss. You both pulled away after a moment, and you couldn’t help but pull him down next to you. Resting your head on his shoulder as his arm wrapped around your shoulders 

“I love you” You whispered, causing him to place a kiss to your hair 

“I love you too” 

Grid dinners were something that happened every so often. You knew that there was one coming up soon. However, you forgot that one was tonight 

“You planning on getting ready soon?” Logan asked as you looked up from your phone laying in your own bed for once. 

“Hmm did I forget our date night?” You frowned 

“No. It’s the grid dinner tonight” He sat on the edge of the bed as your eyes widened. 

“Fuck Logan” You quickly got up walking over to the wardrobe looking at your dresses. “Damn it, I have nothing to wear” Logan sighed, walking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. 

“Baby, you do this every time. You can wear a pair of joggers and this lot won’t care. You see them every weekend, almost through the highs and lows. Please just wear what you’re comfortable with no matter what it is” You smiled while kissing him. He knew your insecurities about being a woman in motorsport. Little woman had got to where you were before, and now you were the one paving the way for more women to enter into motorsport. 

You took Logan’s advice picking out a nice pair of trousers and a nice top to go with. It wasn’t your typical grid dinner outfit, but it was comfortable, and that made you comfortable. 

Walking out of your house with Logan, you couldn’t help but smile knowing that after four years, it was still the way it felt on your first date. 

Logan opened your car door, holding out his hand letting you use his support to get out of the car. 

“We doing this t’night?” You asked, and Logan nodded 

“If you want to” He looked down at you, and you nodded 

“Aye. I think I do” You smiled, interlacing your fingers together. Walking up to the door of the restaurant. Logan held the door open for you, letting you step inside first, not letting his other hand leave your own. 

“Cheers” You hummed, wrapping your other arm around his bicep. Logan leaned down, pressing his lips against your own as you waited on the server to show you to the table. The man walked over with a smile on his face 

“Joining the big party?” He asked, and you both nodded 

“Yeah we are” Logan nodded 

“Just follow me” The man smiled, and you both followed behind him. The large table filled with other drivers and their partners. You let go of Logan’s bicep as he walked you both to the empty seats at the table which just so happened to be between Oscar and Lily and Alex and Lily just the two couples who seemed to know about your relationship. Logan pulled out your seat allowing you to sit down before he sat down next to you. ,

The rest of the drivers were still deep in their conversations as you and Logan said hello to the couples sitting next to you. Both Lily’s pull you into their conversation as Oscar, Alex, and Logan start their own conversation. 

The one thing that definitely didn’t make you feel self, confident at this dinner is the fact that the nineteen other drivers around you always ate more than you even if you ate large portions yourself. After ordering your meals and taking suggestions from Logan on what to eat, you got up from your seat as Logan looked up at you 

“You okay?” He asked, gently reaching up and brushing his fingers across the back of your hand 

“Aye just nipping to the loo. Why do you want some mair pop?” You asked, and he shook his head 

“No, just wanted to make sure you were okay” He smiled, and you nodded, holding his hand from where you stood as he looked up at you. You couldn’t help but just lean down and press your lips against his. Giving his best puppy dog eyes like you were leaving a little puppy alone. 

“You look so sad baby” You pouted as he pouted up at you. Oscar chuckled from behind Logan, and you glared at him. You pushed some strands of hair out Logan's face before letting go of his hand and walking to the bathroom. Leaving the few drivers that caught on whispering at the table. 

When you came back, you actively ignored the smirk that crossed over the few drivers' faces. Logan's arm instinctively goes to the back of your chair after you sit down gently, caressing your shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile at him 

“You good?” You asked him, causing him to nod with a smile 

“Better than good” He hummed 

“So Y/N” Lando started, and you looked over at him. 

“Lando” You smiled politely 

“How’s the love life going?” He asked, and you raised a brow 

“Better than yours obviously” You smiled in response as his smirked dropped, sending Max and Oscar into a laughing fit as some of the other drivers struggled to keep their own laugh in. 

“She’s not wrong” Max shrugged, earning a glare from Lando, making you laugh as you took a drink from your soda. 

“Be nice” Logan whispered, and you shrugged, clearly not seeing what you had done wrong. 

As the food arrived, the drivers all settled into conversation with people nearby rather than across the table like before 

“Logan got a girlfriend?” Charles asked from across the table, causing Logan to look back at him. Their previous conversation had just finished, and Charles was obviously trying to keep it going. 

“Nope no girlfriend” He responded, earning a hum from you as you went back to eating. Going to get up after a moment or two

“Mair pop, anyone?” You asked as most people responded with a no however, Charles couldn’t help but sit there confused at what had just left your mouth 

“Would you like some more drinks?” Logan explained as he shook his head with a no. You walked to get yourself, Logan, and Alex a drink with Lily and Oscar who’d decided that they wanted to see what other options there were at the bar. You could have just asked the server however, you didn’t want to interrupt the guy. It made you feel bad. 

“When are you two going to put everyone out of their misery?” Oscar asked, earning a shrug. You’d ended up karting against him and Logan, hence how you were all so close now. 

“For being drivers they’re fucking blind” You shrugged as Lily laughed a bit “I’ve snogged him every time I got up” You shrugged, again putting in your order at the bar. Lily who’d obviously seen most of them, nodded with a laugh 

“It’s disgusting” She nodded as you chuckled, thanking the bartender and taking the tray. Walking back to the table, you handed out the drinks to Alex and Logan before sitting back down between them. 

Both in conversation about how pissed off they were at James. The name that you refused to speak. There was no doubt that Logan was being treated unfairly however, what could you do about it. However, without Logan’s knowledge you’d actually been doing something about it. 

Joining in a conversation with Charles, Logan rested his hand on your knee gently caressing it as you and Charles spoke about how much you wanted one of the new Ferrari’s that they’d been talking about releasing however by contact most of the time you were to drive an Alpine 

You looked at Logan as he removed his hand from your knee and started to get up sending him a small smile to ensure that everything was okay to which he smiled back stretching before joining Alex who was waiting at the door for him. 

“They okay?” You frowned, looking at Lily, who nodded 

“Yeah, Alex wanted fresh air so Logan said he’d join him” You nodded taking a sip of your drink looking at your phone for a moment smiling at the selfie from Logan with both Lily’s cooing over your shoulder 

“Look at how smiley you got there” Oscar’s Lily cooed, and you shook your head with a roll of your eyes. Of course, the teasing was about to start as Oscar just chuckled from his spot. You just let them tease you until the boys came back when Logan pressed a kiss to your head, causing you to look up with a smile. 

“Hey you” You smiled, watching as he sat back down. 

“Everything okay?” He asked and, you nodded 

“Aye everything’s great” You nodded, thanking the servers that took everyones plates away. Oscar leaned over, whispering something in Logan’s ear, causing both of them to laugh as you turned in your seat towards Logan, who interlaced your fingers together. 

“We going home after dessert?” Logan asked 

“Well when everyone else starts to leave” You responded, earning a nod. 

“Sounds good. Heard anything from your mom?” He asked 

“Aye she said that the butchers was going mental after people realised I had been there” Logan laughed his thumb, caressing the back of your hand. It was just like no one else was around you at that moment, just enjoying the moment four years on from your first date and two years on from your wedding day. 

“Where’s your ring?” Logan asked with a slight frown, causing you to pull the necklace that was tucked into your top, showing off your engagement ring and wedding ring 

“It feels more normal wearing it here because of how much I don’t actually wear them” Logan nodded with a smile 

“We should really wear them more. So much for actually just saying the words though” Logan chuckled, and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as well. 

“Well we’ll do it when we’re ready” You shrugged, tucking into your dessert, letting Logan try some of the cheesecake you had ordered 

“Who’s all coming to the bar after?” Lando asked, and you looked at Logan with a shrug who just shrugged back, basically saying it was your decision and that he didn’t care. Although you knew that after ten minutes of being there, he would care however you agreed to go. It could be good fun. 

And that’s what happened. Everyone who had responsibilities -mainly just those with kids back at their hotels- left, whereas everyone else moved the dinner into a local bar. 

It was a simple bar. Fairly lights hanging from the ceiling, the place was mainly made from wood -ash or yew- if you were to take a guess. The place filled with the smell of what you could only assume was whiskey, and the locals were all laughing along with each other. 

Logan’s hand rested on your lower back as you walked in between the rest of the drivers. Lando found a big enough table for the twelve or so of you that were drivers plus some of their partners. 

Most drivers allowed their partners to sit down at the tables on the stools as they stood behind them, but you refused to sit down, preferring to stand next to Logan as you spoke to some other drivers. It wasn’t that Logan didn’t attempt to make you sit down and make you talk with their partners; however there was extra energy running through your body and you had to make use of it by standing. 

Talking to Max, Kelly, Charles and Alexandra laughing every so often as the girls tried to convince you to go dance with them and you tried to convince them that you had two left feet that only worked for pushing the throttle and break. 

After a while of being convinced you finally joined them on the dance floor, if you could even call it a dance floor. It was more a space in the bar that everyone had left vacant and people were dancing on. 

That was until a nice slow song turned on where you left the floor and joined Logan back at the table. Logan instantly takes your hand and pulls you back onto the floor. Charles and Max danced with their girlfriends as well. 

Logan's arms wrapped themselves around your waist, pulling you into his warm body. You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him down so you could press your lips against his own, to which he smiled into the kiss. 

The world disappeared around you both as the rest of the drivers watched with their mouths ajar. Oscar and Alex were cheering at the fact that the two of you had finally said your words aloud but in your own ways. Pulling back, resting your foreheads together as one of your hands moved to his jaw. 

“So we did that in public” You whispered, and he shrugged with a smirk 

“Well it was about time” He smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back up at him. Your lips collided again as one of his hands trailed up your back and into your hair, pulling you even closer into his body. 

“What the hell?” Charles exclaimed as you both pulled away from each other. Your attention is drawn to the group of drivers and their girlfriends. 

“Surprise?” You shrugged 

“How long?” Lando asked, mouth still ajar from surprise 

“The relationship or marriage?” Logan asked with a smirk as Alex and Oscar had their own little laugh in the corner. Their girlfriends slapping their arms 

“Both?” Max almost shouted 

“Two year married, fower year dating” You shrugged 

Back in the hotel room now that everything was out in the open, felt a little weird, and you couldn’t deny that, and neither could Logan. It was a weight lifted off your shoulders because the secret wasn’t secret. However, there was a new fear about everyone knowing. Standing in front of the mirror, just taking a moment for yourself. 

Logan’s hands rested on your waist as he stood a little bit behind you, turning you around so that you were facing him now. 

“I love you so much” He smiled 

“I love ye too” You smiled back as his index fingers hooked into the belt loops of your trousers, pulling you into his body. The quiet music you had playing in the back serving as the perfect thing to fill the silence as your bodies rocked to it. 

Your arms wrapped around his torso as his arms wrapped around your shoulders. It was the perfect second wedding anniversary weekend and you couldn’t hope for anything more.

Coming Soon

Tag List

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Appologies to @starset21 for suddenly deleting my unedited version

[redvelvetcupcakes21]

I feel like Josh wouldn't be surprised about Buck being bi but he would definitely want to celebrate about Buck coming out....

Buck was not expecting to see Josh at 930 am outside his door with two ice lattes in a coffee carrier and a bag of donuts from Birdies.

"Josh, uh- what- what are you doing here? Did we have plans or something?" He asked worriedly as Josh walked through his door, he sensed before seeing Josh's wry smile that this wasn't exactly going to be a social call.

"Oh no, but you owe me Buckley." He set down the drinks and bag, pointing to Buck with an expression akin to annoyance. "You mean to tell me that despite you and I texting every other day about reality TV shows and how influencer should pay extra in tax for making traffic crap and are also in three separate group texts together, you didn't think to tell me "hey Josh, just a heads up, I'm dating a man who looks like he just walked off a cover of a dark romance novel"?"

Buck smothered a laugh behind his fist, he had seen how shocked and annoyed Josh had looked when he and Tommy had came into Chimney’s hospital room. He also saw Hen, Karen, and Josh eyeing them with what Tommy mentioned felt like he was going to have to get ready for multiple shovel talks.

"I-I thought about coming to you but I just wasn't sure who to talk to first, if I had to." Buck explained as Josh pulled the dozen of donuts. He figured Josh was actually upset when Josh slapper his hand as Buck was trying to get to the PB&J bacon donuts.

"Nope, that one is mine." He pointed at Buck's face, "I get to enjoy my donut while you tell me how you two met because now I get to live vicariously through my friend as I stay perpetually single."

Buck rolled his eyes as they both took a seat at the kitchen table. "Aren't you dating a doctor?" Buck asked teasingly, sipping on his iced latte happily as he watched Josh get slightly more irate.

"Yes, but I didn't bring him to Maddie’s wedding. Clearly my version of dating is different than what you and the Hot Pilot have going on." He paused and arched a brow at Buck. "Also, did I hear correctly that that was your third date with him?" Josh asked incredulously.

Buck gave out a flustered "I mean....technically I-I guess you could say it was our....second date?"

Josh pulled the cookie monster donut away from Buck's grasp. "C’mon man!" And pushed the plain glazed donut towards Buck.

"You get the plain till you tell me everything Buckley." He tapped on the table impatiently. "Spill."

[kyokutsu-sama]

Flashy night

Uzui Tengen x f! Reader x wifes

A/n: Just a flashy scenario for a flashy man. I'm thinking about writing Kyojuro's pov and posting it later🤔

Tw: Slightly suggestive

••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••☆••

"Tengen, I think you better go home man. Your wives must be waiting for you!" Rengoku shouted in the middle of the street due to the noise of the people and the music.

The two friends had planned to go to the entertainment district because of a festival Tengen had mentioned. Rengoku never refused to go anywhere with his best friend, especially if it promised lots of fun and food. They had gone in completely sober and were now completely drunk and barely knew their way back.

"Yeah, I know. My wives love me and everyone knows it!" Tengen said, holding his drink as he danced. He really was an exhibitionist.

"Yes, but if we don't get back soon, you'll end up sleeping on the couch." Rengoku joked, trying to drag his friend out of the crowd. They were now leaning on each other and walking like blind people in the middle of a shootout.

"Now that's not true! They would never do that to me," Tengen said, laughing."They love me, believe me..."

*Meanwhile, at Tengen's house*

"Tengen hasn't come back yet?" Makio asked, arriving in the living room and seeing you sitting on the couch, waiting for Tengen to come home. "Where the hell did he get himself to again? I hope he doesn't have to face a demon on the way."

"It was a possibility... If I didn't know he went out to go to another one of those flashy festivals he likes so much."

"And he didn't even take us with him. Just left us here alone and bored." Makio said, pouting and holding some resentment for his action

"He said he was going with a great friend of his."

"Probably that one who talks really loud, the hashira of the flames... I don't remember his name." She said, looking at the ceiling, trying to remember the name

"Rengoku?" You said, and she nodded

"Yeah, that one! They get along very well."

"I believe he should be arriving soon. I mean, it's almost three in the morning." You said looking at the clock on the wall

"Typical of Master Tengen. He never arrives at the time he says will. Suma and Hinatsuru must be fast asleep by now, and getting Suma to sleep after she found out Tengen went without us was no easy task. That idiot almost cried her eyes out." Makio rolled her eyes, remembering the scene

"Suma is always sensitive..." You said with a giggle. "What about you? Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I just came to see how you were since you were the only one who wasn't sleeping yet, but if you're going to stay there waiting for him, that's fine. I'm going to the bed, good night." Makio said, hugging you and getting up afterwards

"Sleep well."

"Yeah, and be sure to kick Tengen's drunk ass when he gets here!" She shouted from the end of the hallway and you chuckled

"I will!"

You stood there for a while until you heard the front door open and saw the big man stumble on his own steps and almost fall to the floor while laughing out loud. You knew at that moment who it was. You got up from the couch and walked to the entrace hall with your arms crossed as you saw him waving to his friend who was already going home.

"Have a great night my great buddie Rengoku!!"He shout before closing the door

When he turned around and saw you behind him, his smile widened and you were almost blinded by the glow he exuded at that moment. The drunkenness made him hotter than usual but you didn't want to let your guard down at that moment. And you definitely wouldn't.

"Look who's here waiting for me! I'm sorry for leaving my princess alone but since I'm here I think I should make up for my absence..." He said in a seductive voice, approaching and covering your figure with all his tall and wide stature. Oh, he was really stepping over the borders...

His white hair was loose and disheveled, there were a few messy strands on his face, his cheeks were pink from the alcohol and the heat. He was wearing a yukata that was open and exposing his chest. You could bet he was doing it on purpose to tease you.

"Why don't we go upstairs and 'talk' a little about my late arrival?" He whispered in your ear with a little giggle and distributing a few kisses on your neck but you just rolled your eyes and sighed. It was difficult because he really was driving you crazy.

"Makio, Hinatsuru and Suma have been asleep for a while now and I don't want to bother them and besides, Makio herself told me to kick your drunk ass, so..." You said and the hashira laughed

"My dear Makio is cold, but I like her. What about you? Are you really going to kick your husband's drunk and flashy ass?" He said holding your face with both hands

"You deserved it, you know? It's just that you left and came back late and as if that wasn't enough, you didn't take your lovely wives with you."

"I already apologized! Come on, why don't we settle things amicably, my love?" He leaned his forehead against yours, which made things even more difficult for you, who were trying not to give in

"Tengen, don't insist. You're drunk and I'm sleepy." You said, trying to get away from him, who at that moment knelt in front of you looking like a clingy, whiny boy.

"You're not being flashy, Y/n. Why don't you give me a little chance. Please, five minutes! We don't even need to go to the bedroom..." Uzui insisted again, holding the hem of your shorts, but you slapped his hands away and walked away from him

"Damn, Uzui! You're stubborn when you're drunk. Jeez!" You said, and he was silent for a moment while he massaged the hand you slapped, but still with a smile on his face and his eyes shining at you. "And don't make those puppy dog ​​eyes at me. Let's just go to sleep, it's too late." You ordered

Tengen got up from the floor and let out a long sigh, seeing that he couldn't be more stubborn than his wife who was in front of him. However, his ego didn't allow you to have the last word.

Tengen got closer to your ear and bent down a little, which made you feel chills.

"Alright, you win. But one thing is for certainly, I'll deal with you tomorrow. Just you wait!" He slapped your butt and ran to the bedroom while laughing and you felt your cheeks burn with shame.

He really could drive everyone crazy.

"Tengen, you son of a-- Come back here now!" You said, running after him

[writingwithciara]

still safe with me -matt sturniolo-

summary: all matt wants to do is protect his girlfriend, even if it means fighting someone twice his size.

word count: 1.7k

pairing: matt sturniolo x reader

notes: wasn’t planning on writing a part 2 but @sarosfilms came up with an idea of how i could continue it. hope it’s good 😊 w: blood, david, language

y/n had been staying with the triplets for 3 months and every moment spent under their roof was like heaven to her. all 3 of them treated her well and did anything she asked. not much had changed.

she was still sleeping in matt's room, but he was staying in their with her. it started after the first month. after the first night, and the kisses, they were both scared to take their new relationship further so they agreed to stay friends.

but it was killing matt to stay away. all he wanted to do was hold her and keep her safe.

so, when the first month was over, matt walked into his room as y/n was getting to bed. he spilled everything out to her and she admitted she felt the same. they just wanted to hide it from the fans.

and they failed tremendously.

fans were onto them right off the bat. it didn't help that they were looking at each other way more than normal and chris kept cutting himself off more in their videos, almost revealing the secret.

so when more than a few fans commented on the looks they'd give each other, they decided to go public with their relationship.

which was good, at first.

it was good until david saw the hard launch of the relationship. he had known y/n was close to chris but she always told david not to worry about him. turns out, he believed he was supposed to be worried about matt the whole time instead.

david was friends with people who knew the triplets and nobody said a bad thing about any of them. but he hated matt and needed to know where he could find the guy. so he contacted one of their mutual friends. not knowing what was going on, the friend gave david the address.

"oh. this is going to be fun." david smirked and got in his car. he was a man on a mission.

at the triplets house, chris and nick were waiting for y/n and matt to get back from getting groceries since they were the responsible ones.

matt parked in their driveway and looked at y/n. "next time, we're bringing those idiots and they can go in to do all the shopping." he looked over the list chris gave them before they left. "some of these items are ridiculous."

"i know. but those were chris' additions to the list." y/n got out and opened the trunk. "also, do you really want to wait for chris to be responsible enough to shop for himself?"

"fair point." matt walked around and grabbed a few bags from the trunk. y/n grabbed the remaining 2 bags, that weighed next to nothing, and gave matt a look. "what?"

"these bags are so heavy, matthew."

"ever the dramatic one." he chuckled and looked at his girlfriend. "you got it?"

"yes matt. i'm just gonna grab my phone from the front seat and i'll meet you inside in a few minutes."

"okay." he kissed her head and carried the bulk of the groceries into the house.

y/n walked to the passenger door and set the bags on the ground. she opened the door and grabbed her phone. when she shut the door and turned around, she dropped the bags at her feet. "d-david? what are you.....how did you find me?"

"very carefully. and believe me. you were not easy to find."

back inside the house, nick was helping matt put everything away when chris came upstairs.

"you guys rock. you got everything i asked for."

"yeah. and it was a ridiculous endeavor. next time, i'll take you and you can shop yourself." matt smiled and tossed chris the weird snacks he requested.

"where's y/n? i want to get her to try these gummies."

"she wasn't too far behind me. should be in already." matt was starting to think the worst. "i'm gonna go check on her." he walked to the front door and opened it.

david had y/n trapped against the car and he looked like he was yelling at her. or at the very least, raising his voice when he shouldn't have.

"hey, get away from her!" matt shouted from the porch and raced over to the car. david backed away from y/n and faced matt with a smug look on his face.

"well, look at this. you always did need saving. but this kid doesn't even look like he could win any fight at all."

"that's where you're wrong, buddy." matt stepped closer. he was dead set on going toe-to-toe with david, who was twice his size. y/n knew what david was capable of so she grabbed matt's arm, causing him to look at her.

"matt, please don't." she pleaded but matt looked back at david. "he's gonna destroy you."

"so? rather him do it to me than to you again." matt slowly moved her behind him and stepped as close to david as he could. he had to look up to make eye contact but that didn't bother him. he just wanted to protect y/n.

"is that really what she told you? is there anything that bitch is honest about?"

"excuse me?" matt grew angrier the longer david stood there. "if you don't get off my property in two seconds, i'm gonna-"

"you're gonna what? kick my ass? yeah i'd love to see you try."

"my pleasure." matt rushed forward and his right fist collided with david's cheek. it left a mark but david barely even staggered. his eyes widened in anger as he threw matt to the ground and landed punch after punch to his body.

"matt!"

"did you hear that?" chris asked nick as he shut the fridge. "should we go see what's going on?"

"obviously." nick was already halfway out the door when chris finished asking the question. he stopped on the porch. "chris, call the cops. quick!"

"why? what's going on?" chris peaked over his shoulder and saw david. "oh shit." he quickly called the cops and told the operator what was going on before following nick out to where y/n stood.

nick was trying to break up the fight while y/n was just frozen in her spot. chris pulled her into a hug and made sure she couldn't see what was going on.

even though matt had somehow flipped david onto the ground, it was clear he was getting weak. the longer he hit david, the worse it was getting for him. there was no true winner to the fight.

the only thing that got them apart was when the cops pulled into the driveway.

for y/n, everything was a blur of red and blue. chris had her turned away from the chaos and she was focusing on the reflection of the lights in his eyes.

as the cops hauled david away after getting everyone's statements, nick helped matt inside carefully. chris looked at y/n and rubbed her arms.

"are you okay? he didn't hurt you, did he?"

"no. i'm fine." y/n looked at chris and sighed. she looked around the front yard and began to panic. "what happened? where's matt?"

"he's inside. would you like me to take you to him?" chris didn't wait for a response. he already knew what she would want. he escorted her inside and to matt's bathroom.

when they saw each other, matt gently pushed nick aside and pulled y/n as close as he possibly could.

"i am so sorry for leaving you out there."

"matt, don't apologize. i'm fine." she leaned back to examine his face. "you look like shit. no offense."

"you're good." matt smiled and looked at y/n. "i would do it all again if it guaranteed your safety."

"i love you." y/n rubbed matt's cheek gently and kissed him. it was the first time either of them had used the 'l' word with each other and even though the night was chaotic, the moment felt right. y/n pulled away first and looked deep into matt's eyes. "i'm sorry. i just really wanted to get that out there."

"don't apologize. i love you too." matt smiled widely.

chris and nick watched as their brother finally realized he really did love the girl standing in front of him. the longer he smiled at her, the more pain he felt.

"we should get you cleaned up." y/n grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom. "there's so much blood."

"i know. but some of it is david's & i do not regret it one bit."

"i know, matt. and i appreciate you protecting me. but he could've killed you, you know?"

"i'm completely aware of what could've happened but, again, i do not regret it. when it comes to you, i'm always going to protect you, even if you can defend yourself. you're my girl and all i want to do is keep you safe."

"i am safe." y/n paused her sentence and reached for the bandages. she then slowly began to wrap his hand. as she did so, she looked into his eyes. "with you."

"you're always safe with me." matt watched intently as y/n wrapped his knuckles up gently.

"i know." she held his hand and smiled. "i can't believe it's only been two months but it's felt like a lifetime."

"when you're with the right person, the smallest amount of time can feel incredibly longer."

"i love you matt. i really do." she sighed. "and i don't think i've ever meant those words more than i do right now."

"i feel the same way, y/n. and i think i've loved you in another lifetime as well."

"wow. and to think i almost ended up with chris." y/n smiled.

"wait, what?!" chris had heard her and was running to the bathroom to join matt in exclamation. the two boys stared at each other for a second before y/n just giggled.

"man, you guys are so easy to trick." she smiled and kissed matt again. something she would absolutely never get tired of doing.

[fandomxo00]

King Of My Heart - 2nd sneak peek

This fic is over 6k and i havent even gotten to the ceremony yet! going to do a part 2 for the honeymoom if you guys like the fic! hoping to get to done tonight staying up late but wanted to give yall something!! soo here's one of my favorite parts so far, its unedited!

But you made your way to the bathroom to see that your best friend and Hailey had transformed your bathroom. Liz was still with her dad from what you knew, she didn't need to get her makeup done yet; you were planning on helping her with it. Eventually your cousin found you, a mischievous smile on her face but tears glistening in her eyes as she came over to hug you. "What's going on?" You laughed, as she handed you the phone.

"Just so happy for you, toots." She grinned. That's when she showed you the video that Hugh and your cousin had made you. It seemed to only be the two of them, that's where she was? But before you could think too hard, you saw your handsome future husband in his black and white suit, his head tilted to the side as he smiled at the screen. "Okay, Hugh, I'm going to ask you some questions, are you ready?" Her voice off-screen.

"Okay, yes go for it." He clapped his hands together.

"What are your thoughts? How are you feeling?" Your cousin asked, as Hugh shrugged with a dimpled smile on his face as his hand came to his heart.

"I'm just extremely happy, slightly nervous that I'll mess this day up for Ainzy." He smiled at the childhood nickname that he pulled out, "I just hope this day is everything to her, because her marry me? It means the world to me."

"Good answer." She laughed, "What's the thing you love the most about Ainsley?"

"God,-." He huffed out a laugh, as his hand came up to his mouth as went into deep thought. "First thing that comes to mind, is her humor, she's so funny and just beautiful. Also love to see her creative mind, working with that woman was an honor. The reason why I fell in love with her, she's been a strong presence since the moment I met her-." He rambled, as he lightly flushed, a soft chuckle falling from his mouth. You heard a sniffle on the other side of the screen as tears rose to your eyes. "She's always thinking about ways to better herself and the others around her, she just cares so much. Never met a woman like her before."

"God, stop your gonna make me cry." Your cousin's voice cracked, as you reached for her hand, your bottom lip coming into your mouth as you saw the bright smile come over Hugh's face.

"What are you most excited for in this marriage?"

"Our love." Hugh started, smiling over at her, "She just has so much love in her, I can't wait to be with for the rest of my life and see her with our child."

"Your child?" She choked.

"Yeah, she's pregnant." Hugh grinned over at her, as you heard a 'oh', before the phone the camera was moved around as she went in to hug him, before moving back, her voice scratchy.

"Any last words?"

"I just love you so much sunshine, whatta think Y/C/N?"

You were happy that they hadn't really started on your makeup yet, as tears stream down your face.

"I don't think I've ever seen her happier, Hugh." She replied before the video shut off.

tags: @ohtobemare @jessjessmarvelandhp @chronicallybubbly

@bubblegumholland @mega-kittyglitter-1

[thecoolerliauditore]

Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

[starryevermore]

dumb love, i love being stupid ✧ ruhn danaan 

angst city™ library |send in a request (consultrequest faqs first)

pairing: ruhn danaan x fem!reader 

summary: you thought you had found your forever, but he wanted to keep it casual. 

word count: 2,346

warnings?: angst city™ bitch, not proofread

“So how’s it going with that one girl? Been seeing her a lot lately.”

“Eh, we’re just keeping things casual,” Ruhn said, eyeing a pretty faun from across the bar. 

You watched as his friend—Declan, you realize—arched a brow, took a long sip of his drink. Ruhn couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes as Declan said, “That why you keep bringing her around so much?”

“We both know what this is. I like her company, so I invite her out sometimes. That a crime?” Ruhn didn’t wait for an answer. He set his drink down on the bar and began to make his way to the pretty faun. 

“Guess not.” Declan looked away from his friend, eyes somehow finding yours. Despite the distance and lighting, you couldn’t miss the flash of pity. 

Before he could say anything to you, you turned on your heel, ready to leave the White Raven with whatever scraps of your dignity you had intact. You pushed through the throngs of people, ignoring the annoyed voices of those who you accidentally elbowed in the process. You just needed to get out of there. 

A hand caught your arm just as the exit was finally in sight, pulling you to a stop. “Hey! Where are you going? The fun’s just about to start!” Bryce cheered. Behind her stood Hunt, who offered you a smile and a soft “hey.”

Wriggling lose of Bryce’s hold, trying to maintain an air of playfulness, you managed a laugh. “Some of us have early mornings and can’t party til dawn.”

Bryce rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a buzzkill. Do I need to drag Ruhn out of whatever corner he’s hiding in and convince you to stay?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you prayed neither Bryce nor Hunt could hear it. “Didn’t realize he was here. Saw Declan for, like, half a second.”

She wiggled her eyebrows at you. “So that’s a yes? Getting your boy toy will get you to stay?”

“He’s not my boy toy,” you said, “and it makes me feel icky for you to call your brother that.”

“You’re no fun!” Bryce whined. 

Hunt, either because he believed your story about an early morning or because he could sense your unease, took Bryce by the waist and slowly began to urge her away. “C’mon, this is a losing battle.”

“Fine, but you’re coming to the party this weekend, right?”

You probably weren’t, but if agreeing was what it took to get out of the White Raven without crying in front of Ruhn’s friends, then that’s what you’d do. “Duh, you think I’d miss it?”

Bryce grinned, and Hunt finally successfully urged her into the crowd to find the rest of their friends. You loosed a breath, rolled your shoulders, and made your escape. No one stopped you again, or even spared you a glance. For that, you were grateful. You weren’t sure how much more people-ing you could handle. 

Unfortunately, you did plan on making one more stop before you went home. 

Ruhn really needed a better hiding spot for his spare key. Was there anything more obvious than a potted plant by the door? It would have been laughable if you weren’t effectively breaking into his home. (Is it really breaking in if you found the key? And when the owner of said key told you where it was hidden?) 

You didn’t bother being quiet, figured that all of the home’s residents were out at the White Raven. Yet, when you shut the door, a voice had you jumping out of your skin. 

“Ruhn come back with you?” Flynn asked, leaning against the entry to the kitchen. 

You tried to steady your breathing and racing heart. “Nah. Think he’s at the White Raven with Declan. I was just swinging by to grab a couple things I left behind.” You held up the spare key for him to see. “Y’all need a better place for this than the only potted plant on the property. You’re practically asking someone to steal all your shit.”

Flynn nodded. “Cool, cool. Shout if you need anything, and try not to rob us blind, yeah?”

“Eh, I’ll leave your shit alone, but can’t say the same for Ruhn and Declan,” you joked despite yourself. 

He snorted out a laugh. “You’re funny. Shame Ruhn got to you first.”

You shrugged. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

As you walked up to Ruhn’s room, Flynn disappeared into the kitchen. He’d probably leave you alone. As long as you don’t take a long time, probably. You didn’t plan on sticking around, though. You just wanted to grab your things and get out before Ruhn returned with that faun he was eyeing. If he thought this was casual, the last thing he would want is for you to be hanging around while he was trying to get lucky. 

Thankfully, you knew where most of your things were. A couple of shirts thrown in his closet, a jacket strewn over a chair. Some miscellaneous socks mixed in with his laundry. You grabbed your lipgloss you thought you lost from the bathroom, and the pretty hand towel you brought because there was no way in hell you were using the scratchy ones they bought in bulk. Your favorite bras, buried in the top dresser drawer. 

Once you were satisfied you got everything you cared about, you made your way out of the home, praying that you wouldn’t run into Flynn again. 

He was on the couch when you came out. He eyed the bundle of clothes in your arms. “Moving out?” he teased. 

“Getting this stuff out before he thinks I’m trying to move in.”

“You and I both know Ruhn wouldn’t mind if you did. Honestly, he’d probably be more offended you were sneaking all that shit out.”

Liar. “Eh, I need to wash all this and I don’t trust you idiots to not fuck all my nice stuff up.”

Flynn laughed, throwing his head back. “You make us sound like beasts!”

“Excuse you, I was here when your sheets were stained pink after a sock made its way into the machine, and when half of Ruhn’s clothes got bleach stains after one of you forgot to rinse out the drum,” you giggled.

Fuck, you wished you had fallen for Flynn instead. Or even Declan. They were easy to talk to, and wouldn’t make you feel like an idiot for thinking that something more than casual was going on. That was more your fault than anything, you supposed. You knew who Ruhn was when he approached you at the White Raven all those months ago. He never tried to hide who he was. You were the idiot who thought he might settle down.

“Fair enough,” Flynn laughed. “Hey, you be careful alright? Ruhn’d kill me if you got hurt after leaving here.”

You were already hurt, but Flynn didn’t know that. Didn’t need to know that. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, you mother hen.”

Flynn flipped you off as you left, still laughing. The bitter part of you thought he was laughing at you, knowing how big of an idiot you were. The more rational part knew he was just having a nice time joking around with you. Whatever. You probably weren’t going to be seeing him around much either way. 

Loud knocking on the door woke you up. When you glanced at your phone for the time, it was barely one in the morning. Several more hours until you would need to start the day, and way too late for anyone to be bothering you right. With a groan, you got out of bed, wrapped yourself up with a robe, and went to the door, fully prepared to chew out whoever was interrupting your beauty sleep. 

You yanked open the door. Ruhn stood on the other side. Whatever steam you had rising up inside you dissipated when you saw him. 

Pulling the robe closer around you, you asked, “What are you doing here?” More questions stayed locked in your mind—Why aren’t you home? Why aren’t you with that pretty faun? 

“Flynn said you stopped by to get some of your things,” Ruhn said. “Looked like you took more than a few. Just wanted to see if you were alright.”

You opened the door wider so he could see into your small apartment. You gestured to the couch, where your laundry basket sat, topped off with the clothes you took back from his place. “Was needing to do laundry,” you lied. “Wanted to make sure all my stuff got washed.”

He pouted—actually pouted. “I could’ve done that for you.”

“It’s no big deal—”

“Or you could’ve done it at my place. Throw in a couple of my things if you didn’t have enough for a load,” he continued. Ruhn took a step into your apartment. You took a step back. “I like having your stuff around.”

“It’ll all probably end up there again anyways,” you shrugged. You doubted it. Ruhn might have wanted to keep this casual, but you weren’t that sort of person. You craved intimacy, the closeness of a relationship. If Ruhn wouldn’t offer that, you didn’t see the point in sticking around. 

Ruhn’s violet eyes searched yours. You weren’t sure what he was looking for. It would probably be easier to walk into your mind than try to pick it up with context clues, but you also didn’t want him anywhere near your head. You didn’t want to hear any excuses he had. Anyways, Ruhn was good about staying out of your mind. He said he didn’t want to violate your trust. What a joke. “Why didn’t you talk to me tonight?”

“Huh?”

“Dec said he saw you, and Bryce said you two talked. I was there, too. I know we didn’t plan on doing anything tonight, but I would’ve liked for you to say something.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why are you really here, Ruhn? I know it’s not because I got my things or didn’t talk to you tonight.”

“Are we good?”

The scoff fell from your mouth before you could stop it. Seriously? Why did he even care? If this was casual, why did he care about your feelings? “You don’t have to pretend, Ruhn. I know you want to keep this casual.”

Ruhn blinked, slowly working his jaw. “What are you talking about?”

“If you want this to be casual, that’s fine. I mean, you wish you had told me that, but I can’t change the past. If you want, you know, company or whatever, that’s okay. But I’m not that sort of person. Let’s not let feelings get any more involved than they already are.”

Realization dawned in his eyes. It took him long enough. Ruhn was far from stupid. It didn’t make sense for it to take this long for it to all click. “You heard me and Dec.”

“And saw you with the pretty faun.”

Ruhn looked away. His jaw clenched and unclenched. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

“Does it matter that I was? I mean, if this is casual, you can flirt with anyone you want. You can fuck anyone you want.”

“Stop saying that,” he near-growled. You raised your brows. What right did he have to get upset? At you no less? Fuck, you needed to put an end to all of this. Tonight. Now. 

You couldn’t hide your own ire as you said, “Why? Only you get to call it casual? I get to sit around thinking that maybe you actually give a shit about me, that you want to stick around for the long term, but you get to sleep with half of the city. Do I have that right?”

“No.”

“No, I think I do,” you said. You reached out, started to push him toward the door. Ruhn snatched your hand and tugged you against him. “Ruhn, let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me go and get the fuck out of here.”

“No,” he insisted. It was hard to ignore the desperation in his voice, but you weren’t going to fall for any of his tricks. You fell for enough of him already. 

Tears pricked at your eyes. Godsdammit, you weren’t going to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve to see you so vulnerable. Not anymore, at least. “I am not going to be the idiot in love with you,” you said, your voice thick, “not when you don’t give a shit about me.”

Ruhn’s eyes flashed. With what, you weren’t certain. “I fucking care about you!” he shouted. Oh, what you would’ve given to hear that just hours ago. Now, it meant nothing. 

“No. You either lied to Declan about this being casual, or you lied to me about wanting something with me. Either way, you lied. You do not lie to the people you care about.” You wrenched yourself away from Ruhn, grabbed the door, and pointed out to the hall. “Go. I won’t ask again.”

“I want to talk about this.”

You gestured into the hallway again. “I have nothing left to say. I’ve got neighbors, Ruhn, and you’re probably waking up the whole building.”

He said your name, so softly your resolve nearly crumbled. But you looked away, steeled yourself. You weren’t going to let yourself be treated like shit just for a fae who would never respect you. 

“Lose my number.”

Ruhn stepped toward you. He stopped right in front of you, brushed away a strand of hair that fell in your face. His eyes scanned over you, as if memorizing you. But you wouldn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Then he stepped through the threshold of the door, and you shut the door before he could say anything else, twisted the locks before he could try to open it.

You pressed your back against the door and sank down to the door. Face pressed against your knees, you began to cry, and you pretended you couldn’t hear Ruhn still standing on the other side. 

It was better off this way. 

[a-killer-obsession]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 50 - Enemy

With Kid successfully rescued, it's time to go find Killer.

Word Count: ~4k

“So, what's the plan then?” Kid asked, chomping on an apple from your very quickly dwindling food stash, “they're gonna wake up and discover I'm gone soon.”

“We need to find Killer,” you replied, “I'm hoping he knows where the others are. Either because that's where he was, or because he's… working with the Shogun.” Kid sighed at your forlorn expression as you curled your knees up to your chin. “Last time I saw him was in the Flower Capital.”

“How far is that from here?”

“About a day’s walk,” you replied, laying out your map for him to see and pointing to the relevant areas, “we're somewhere around here, Heart Pirate base is here, capital is right here in the centre. I was thinking though, maybe we go to Law first, so we can get your seastone off.”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Kid growled, “I don't need that smug cunt's help. Kil can pick the lock when we see him.”

“Sure, if he wasn't a whole different person right now,” you sighed, “he's more likely to fight you. We're gonna have to subdue him, maybe bring him back here. Can you carry him with one arm?”

“Aye,” Kid responded confidently, “ye of little faith, I can take him without my devil fruit.”

“It's not taking him down I'm worried about,” you explained, “his fighting is off right now. He's manic and sloppy, I can take him down no problem with my fruit. The problem is getting him all the way back here, keeping him restrained and trying to get him to talk. I don't know what they did to him but they convinced him that we're the enemy.”

Kid examined your face carefully, seeing how lost and defeated you looked. Your expression reminded him of the way you looked after you lost your baby, something was hurting you deeply, that much at least was clear to him, even if he himself was emotionally stunted most of the time. “There's something else bothering you, isn't there?” He pried. You blinked away tears and sniffed, only sparing him a short look before hiding your face between your knees. “Talk to me doll, what is it?”

“I don't even know if everyone else is alive,” you sniffed, “what if Heat is dead? I should have told him I loved him earlier, I shouldn't have made him wait. He could be rotting somewhere for all I know.”

“He knew long before you said it lass,” Kid soothed, pulling you into his lap and resting his chin on top of your hair, “he's alive, they all are, we're gonna find them Yin. Just stay strong. You've done so well on your own, you don't have to suffer on your own anymore, I've got you. We're gonna find everyone.”

“What if we don't?” You cried, “what if we're too late? What if I took too long? What if we can't bring Killer back to his senses and everyone else is dead already?”

“Shhh, shh,” Kid soothed, holding your head against his chest, “I'll have no talk of that, you did everything you could, we're gonna save them. Together. You're not alone anymore, I'm right here Yin, don't cry. You're a Kid Pirate, you've gotta be brave.”

Kid took your face gently in his hand, tilting your chin up with a crooked finger, before running his thumb softly over your cheek to catch a tear as it ran over your scattered purple freckles. “You're not alone,” he said uncharacteristically softly, “let me hear you say it.”

“I'm- I'm not alone,” you sniffed, watching his amber eyes flick between your eyes and your lips, overly aware of how close he was and warm chest against yours. “I'm not alone,” you repeated, softer, almost a whisper as you leaned towards him. He made a quiet grunt as you pressed your lips against his, but he quickly took possession of the kiss, pressing back with a harsh need and forcing his tongue in your mouth. The kiss turned frantic, moans swallowed as Kid fisted his hand into your hair and you rolled your hips to grind against his growing erection.

“Not alone,” you whined, “Kid, I need you.”

“I know baby, I know,” he groaned back, shifting you to lay on your side next to him so he could hitch your leg over his hip, holding your ass firmly so he could grind his clothed length against you. “Gonna help you, gonna take good care of you till we get your boys back, I promise. They'd want me to take care of you.”

Desperate to feel full and distract yourself from the anguish still potentially waiting for you, you pushed Kid onto his back and straddled him. You made quick work of his belts while he groped at your tits, pushing up your shirt and bra to reveal the soft flesh underneath. He squeezed them purposefully to make you release your milk, groaning as a thin line shot out somewhat violently and hit him in the face, which made you giggle a little at his surprised expression. His eyes rolled back as you freed his cock and took it in your hand, pumping him and admiring the precum beading at the tip. You shuffled to squat over him, too impatient and needy to properly prepare your cunt, pulling aside your panties and whining as you sunk down on his length, letting the painful stretch and the pleasure that followed distract your mind from your stresses. Things didn't seem so bad with Kid's fat cock buried in your cunt.

“There you go sweetheart,” Kid groaned as you rode him, “let yourself go, all will be well. Fuck, you're so tight. Good girl, such a good girl.”

Kid's praises made you whine and ride him faster, and you wondered if Killer had shared your pension for praise with him. “S-say it again,” you whined.

“You're such a good girl,” Kid cooed, guiding your hips with his one good arm, the stump of the other moving like it longed to reach out and touch you as well, “such a very good girl, Yin. Doing such a good job taking my cock. Looking after your captain like a good sweet thing. You gonna be a good girl and cum on my cock?”

“Yes!” You moaned, coil pulling tight far too quickly thanks to his praise, “c-cumming!”

Kid groaned at your walls squeezing around him, his balls tightening as he realised it was the first time you'd cum on his cock, and it drove him wild. You were trying to come down from your orgasm but he began to piston up into you, making you scream as your orgasm seemed to continue on forever. “Good girl, good girl, good girl,” he chanted before making an animalistic roar and unloading inside you. The moment he stilled you collapsed against him, panting into the scarred crook of his neck, his hand still on your hip, his grip a little lighter now, keeping you sat where you were to warm his cock.

“Do you think they'll hate me?” You whispered. Post nut clarity was a real bitch.

“Who?”

“Killer and Heat,” you clarified, “do you think they'll hate me… for sleeping with you.”

“Not a chance,” Kid soothed, pressing a hard kiss into your hair, “they know you sweetheart. They know your heart is theirs. This is just a comfort. They won't hate you for just trying to feel a little comfort after all you've been through.”

“Okay..” you resigned, not entirely convinced but trying hard to trust your captain.

“Don't sweat it Yin,” Kid insisted, “you're okay, everything is gonna be okay. I'll tell them myself if you're worried about it. I promise they won't care.”

“We should get going soon,” you sighed, letting his softened cock slip from inside you and rolling off him, “it's a day's walk to the capital, we should get moving.”

“Yin,” Kid crowded behind you as you gathered your things into your duffle, stilling your frantic movements with a firm hold on your arm, “we're going to find them. When have I ever let you down?”

You let him pull you into a tight hug, his arm rubbing your back soothingly while your arms struggled to wrap around his thick waist. “I know captain,” you sniffed, “I'm just so worried.”

“Let's get going then, aye?” Kid suggested, giving you a reassuring pat on the back before separating himself, “let's go put those worries to rest.”

You slipped your visor on with a nod and threw your duffle over your shoulder, then you led your captain out of the crumbling shack, onwards to find your friends and lovers.

Your biggest concern right now was how to stay unseen and avoid fights on your way to the Flower Capital. Until now you'd been travelling under the cover of night, when you were at a visibility advantage and it was easier to hide. But with the guards at Udon no doubt having discovered Kid's escape by now, the two of you couldn't afford to stay still for any longer than necessary. You'd both allowed a few hours for a nap, but the sun was now risen, and soon there would likely be Beast Pirates out searching for the missing captain. You couldn't wait till nightfall, you had to keep moving, but that left you both exposed.

Some of the Beast Pirate Gifters were able to fly, and would spot you from a distance, especially now that they were no doubt actively searching. That left travelling under tree cover as the best option, though it would greatly slow the journey, and not all of the route had trees to hide under. You could use your devil fruit to cloak, but it would need to be used sparingly to conserve your energy in case it came to a fight, and you had no way to hide Kid's seastone cuff. If the two of you got caught out with nowhere to hide, the floating cuff would stick out like a sore tooth.

The best option, after checking with the map Kin’emon had given you, was to take a longer route via the neighbouring region of Hakumai, instead of going directly to the Flower Capital. It would take longer, but you would still hopefully make it before night. After that the plan was to search the capital after dark, being that it was the most likely time for Killer, or rather, Kamazo, to appear. The plan was less clear after that, but you hoped you would be able to disable him again so that Kid could carry him somewhere he could be bound, until you both figured out how to fix him. Or at the very least get information out of him so you could find where they were keeping the rest of the crew. You weren't keen on giving Killer another concussion, a man could only take so many knocks to the head before it resulted in permanent damage, or even a death-inducing brain bleed, but if it came to it you didn't have much choice.

The two of you made your way under the treeline, Kid refusing to let go of your hand. He felt responsible for you, as more than just a captain. He felt a responsibility to look after you on behalf of his best friend, and his long time friend Heat. Kid knew how sad and stressed you were, so he was trying to do what he thought they would do in this situation. He was no good with dealing with feelings but he was trying his best, and not to be too humble, but he thought he was doing a pretty good job. You appreciated his effort though. After more than a month on your own, a simple thing like having a warm hand in yours gave you a great deal of comfort. Just knowing you weren't alone anymore did a lot to soothe your anxiety and give you hope.

“How much further?” Kid huffed as he stomped along behind you.

“Why, tired already, captain?” you teased.

“Oi, some of us have spent the last month in a labour camp,” Kid scowled, before quickly remembering you hadn't had things much better, “Sorry, I'm fine to keep going for now, I was just curious.”

“It's still a few more hours, I think,” you hummed.

“You think?”

“I didn't have to take the long way last time,” you sighed, “have some patience, Eustass. This country is fucking crawling with Beast Pirates, and some of them can fly. We have to stay hidden.”

“Fine, whatever,” Kid grumbled.

The edge of the treeline came into view as you worked your way through the brambles, and you pressed your spare hand against Kid's chest to indicate for him to stop, the two of you squatting behind a bush. You adjusted the settings on your visor, searching for any nearby sounds or heat signatures that would indicate enemies. The next treeline was a good five hundred metres away, it was a decent distance to go without cover, so you needed to be extra careful, making sure to scan the skies as well. A group of warm bodies heading your way caught your attention, making you glad you'd taken the time to stop and check.

“Incoming,” you whispered, “big group of them, prisoner escort on their way to Udon I think, I can see one with shackles on.”

The two of you hid in the bushes, thankfully with no need for your devil fruit with the thick foliage, you could only hope that there would be nobody with good observation haki among the group. Even if you cloaked the two of you, you couldn't mask against decent haki. You heard Kid take a deep breath and hold it as the group came into view, maybe you should have warned him you'd masked sounds, to keep any accidental rustling from giving away your positon. Based on their clothing you could see they were all Beast Pirates, led by one on horseback, who dragged behind him a prisoner led by a long chain. Your breath hitched as you saw who they had, grabbing Kid's forearm and gripping it with a strength that told him something was very wrong. He hadn't seen him yet, or perhaps hadn't recognized him, given how wildly different he looked, and even moved, compared to the man Kid had been raised by.

“Killer,” you said in a hushed tone. Kid's brows, or lack thereof, shot up, amber eyes flicking between you and the blonde being forced to walk behind them.

“You're sure?” Kid replied with gritted teeth.

“One hundred percent,” you stammered. Kid made a move like he was going to stand, and you gripped him harder. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Freeing him,” Kid growled.

“And how are you gonna do that?” You hissed back, “you're unarmed, literally, without your devil fruit. All you've got is me and I'm just as fucking exhausted as you are. I don't have the energy to take that many. Not to mention we don't know if Killer will fight them or us. We're outnumbered, it's better to let them take him and free him later.”

“Fuck that,” Kid growled, “they're not taking him to that shit hole. I'll fight them on my own if I have to.”

“Kid! Don't!” You pleaded, “look, they have guns, even if you can take them hand-to-hand, you can't do shit if they shoot you. You're strong but you're not fucking bulletproof.”

As you argued with your captain the group got closer, the two of you turning to watch as Killer walked by. He stopped for a moment, staring directly at the bush where the two of you were hiding, and you knew full well that his haki told him the two of you were there. The horse-mounted pirate tugged at his chain, forcing him to continue, and he threw back his head and laughed as his feet moved again. It wasn't a happy laugh. It wasn't a laugh that said ‘my crew are here, and they're going to free me’. No, it was all pain, mixed up in his brain by the defective SMILE fruit, his true emotion was only fear and hopelessness, you could sense it in his brainwaves. Your chest felt tight watching him walk, and Kid made a soft growl beside you. There was no doubt in his mind now that it was his friend, and that something was very wrong with him. Killer never laughed out loud around strangers, let alone enemies. He hated his laugh more than anything, suppressed it except in the presence of those he loved and trusted most. Everything you'd told Kid was true, as much as he hadn't wanted to believe it, and if it weren't for his bubbling rage, he would have cried.

Kid moved to stand once again, pushing you away when you tried to stop him. “Kid, please,” you begged, “listen to reason, you can't help him right now, they have too much advantage.”

“Who's the captain here?” He bit back, “either you're with me, or you're against me. You're gonna help me free him, or you're gonna stay the fuck out of my way.”

“Kid, please!” you shouted, glad for your power masking the sounds of the argument, “you're just going to get us both captured!”

“Then don't fucking come with me,” he growled, “stay here like a fucking coward.”

Tears welled in your eyes as your hand dropped away from him. His heart hurt seeing your expression fall, but his anger was still in control of him. It always was when Killer wasn't there to show him there was a better way, only Killer had ever been able to convince him to stop and think. Kid had a one track mind to get his best friend back, and he wasn't going to let anyone stop him, not even you. Which only gave you one choice.

“Kid, please, if they take you again I might not be able to free you this time,” you reasoned, “I can't let you go out there.”

“Let me?” Kid growled. He grabbed your face and pinched your chin between his fingers hard, and you whimpered, immediately going back to that dark place in your mind that you thought you'd never have to return to. The one where every man in power was a threat to you, and you had to behave, or face the painful consequences. “You don't let me do anything, you fuckin’ hear me? You're my subordinate, and you're gonna do as you're fuckin’ told. Or you can find yourself a new crew.”

Something in your brain snapped then, images of Thompson's body under your knife flickering behind your closed eyes. His blood and piss pooling on the floor, the fearful expression on his face, the way he cried out when you cut him. His life draining from him as he choked on his own dick, the light in his eyes fading by your hand. ‘Never again,’ your mind chanted, ‘never again, NEVER AGAIN.’

“Fine,” you spat back, your voice laced with venom, “you can find yourself a new weapon. I'm fucking done. I'll find Heat on my own, you already know full fucking well he'll choose me over you. And as for Killer, you can explain to him for yourself where I am, why his girlfriend and daughter aren't back on the ship. See if he stays by your side after that.”

Kid let you go quickly, shock evident on his face. He didn't think you'd be so quick to quit, he thought he would be able to convince you to help him if he just threatened you. In the blink of an eye he'd ruined the months of trust he'd built up with you, and he immediately regretted it, but it only served to make him angrier. His anger was misplaced though, it wasn't you he was angry at, it was himself, and Kaido for tearing his family apart in the first place. But right now the only person here to receive his wrath was you, and he'd never been good at holding back when he was mad.

Multiple things happened in the blink of an eye. Before you could register it, a seastone-cuffed fist was flying at you, landing square in your gut and knocking the air out of you. You went down hard, wheezing and struggling for air as your arms wrapped around your stomach. In your struggle you groaned loudly, revealing Kid to the enemy, who spotted him immediately. You had the self-preservation to mask yourself with invisibility, but in your anger and pain you decided to leave Kid on his own. He'd made an enemy of you, he wasn't your problem anymore. He insisted he could hold his own, so he could fucking hold his own.

Next came the laughter, Killer turning manic as chaos unfolded, barely masking the two gunshots that rang out. Your vision was blurry as you lay on the ground, but you could see enough to watch Kid go down, a smug smile on your face as he realised too late that you'd been right. As soon as he went down, he knew it was over, as the pirates used the butts of their guns and swords to beat Kid until he was too hurt to fight back, all the while set to the eerie sound of Killer's mania. Your smug smile was wiped from your face as you watched them drag Kid to his feet. A new chain was attached to his cuff, which was then linked to Killer's, and the two of them were forced to walk again.

You laid shell-shocked on the ground, releasing your cloaking as soon as they were far enough, all your energy now going into the harsh sobs that racked through your body as you realised that once again, you were alone. You stayed there until night fell, curled up in a ball with your knees to your chest, wheezing as the sobs agitated your bruised ribs, twigs and stones digging into your side. The temperature dropped and you began to shiver violently, until you had no choice but to get your shit together. You had to keep going, at the very least you had to help yourself, and if not for your own sake then for Dawn's, and for Heat. Even if you couldn't get Killer out of prison on your own, you could at least sneak in and get information out of him, find out where they were keeping Heat and the others, rescue the rest of the crew, and then guide them to rescue Kid and Killer. Once you freed the rest of the crew, your commitment to them would be over, and you would leave with Heat and Dawn. Steal a ship and leave this awful fucking country for good. Maybe Killer would come find you, but you couldn't let yourself hope right now that he would even ever be himself again, hoping would only lead to more heartbreak.

With shaky breaths you struggled to your feet, your mind set. You would go to Udon, but only for information. For now, you just needed to get somewhere safe, and without Kid you could now move much faster, cutting back to your abandoned shack as fast as your legs would take you, relying on your devil fruit to keep you hidden. You ran for what felt like hours, collapsing immediately as soon as you made it inside the dilapidated building, and quickly passing out from exhaustion.

[NEXT CHAPTER] - link soon

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Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055 @eyes-ofhell @luvnisstuff

[zukkaoru]

wip number 6 aka um ? ?? is so real. what is it about 👉👈

oh my god i'm actually so happy you asked about this one because this wip is 100% wholly and completely your fault.YOU put kunichuuranzai brainworms in my mind and now i am being forced to neglect my other wips in order to expel them (/vlh) have an excerpt <3

Ranpo tears the package open and shoves three Pocky sticks into his mouth. He chows through half the package before setting it aside and shifting so he’s facing Kunikida. “What d’you want?” “I wanted to thank you.” The And I wanted to check in on you goes unsaid. “Okay.” Ranpo pulls out another stick. “Go on, then.” Kunikida rolls his eyes, but he can’t quite suppress the fond smile that crosses his face. “Thank you, Ranpo-san. For your hard work proving my innocence and also for coming to visit me while I was in jail. Sincerely, your words helped me greatly.” Ranpo freezes. Their eyes flick open and their cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink, which they immediately cover by burying their head in their arms. The Pocky package crinkles as their grip on it tightens, and Kunikida chuckles lightly.

[stupidnaturals]

.

[king127]

The conversation sucked but was so what I needed. I was asked to respect his decision to move on. & I asked for the respect to not have sex anymore. Because I love my husband & it makes it harder for me to move on. I was being cordial, not trying to fight. But instead of saying okay & ending the conversation I get shit talked about me. Like what?

I want to move on peacefully as well, just as he requested & not having sex with someone I love who no longer loves me back makes me wrong? So much negative things being said to me. When the convo could’ve been so short. Just crazy. Proves me how toxic he truly is.

But the conversation was needed for me to understand that I am not the only one who messed up. I was lied to & made to believe we’d always work through it & always get stronger through our downfalls. I mean I literally got all the proof of his betrayal, but to him it was nothing & I’m the bad guy. He told me to stay when I should’ve left & now he denies it lmao Okay. We both messed up. Take accountability as I have. I was willing to always try & you lied about never giving up & always trying & that divorce was never an option. Thanks for showing me your true colors. Even showing me how much of a snitch he is by threatening me with law enforcement like really. Thank you for the push. I’m with our kids 85% of the time cause you work a lot & that’s okay I understand that but you threaten to try to get me in trouble with the law. Fake AF. So unbelievable but it’s okay. Thank god I didn’t decide to go back to that place when you asked me to for our kids. I knew it wasn’t gonna be a good idea & I’m so thankful I stuck to my gut feeling.

& he’s mad I use this app to vent instead of talking to people & posting on apps where people know us. Don’t nobody know me here. Don’t nobody even care. You left me, you can’t dictate how I heal myself from being fooled. Crazy how the truth unfolds when things get rough.

[lilgynt]

my friends like invite him to go clubbing with us! i’m gonna club my brain in.

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[alienzil]

Nanny Danny

“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.

He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…

It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.

“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”

“Take him out.”

“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”

“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”

“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”

“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”

*****

Two years later

“Call them again”

“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”

“Then call another agency!”

“There isn’t another agency, Sir”

Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.

He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer.  You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”

Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”

His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file.  “Did you have a suggestion?”

Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”

“Well?”

She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”

“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”

She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”

“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.

“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.

“Is this ice?”

“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”

“This machine was moved?”

“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”

Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.

“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”

[obsesssedblerd]

“Oh, Nanaminnnn!” 

At the familiar, cheery voice, Kento looks up to see no one other than Satoru Gojo, leaning against the doorframe of his office with his usual grin. “Saw with my Six Eyes that you came to fill out those reports here instead of doing it from home. Been so long since you showed your face here and—” He cuts himself off with an excited gasp, then walks closer as his smile grows wider. “You brought my little mochi!”

In Kento’s left arm, his daughter—who had woken up from her nap about ten minutes ago—coos excitedly when Satoru enters her vision, reaching her hands towards him. “Well, hello there, sweetheart! I was wondering when I’d see you again!” He slides his hands under her plush arms, then picks her up, skillfully—and safely, Kento notes—holding her in his arms. Tiny hands brush against Satoru’s blindfold, and he lifts it so his niece can see his blue eyes. They immediately soften when the baby girl laughs when he gently tickles her tummy. 

It’s so cute that Kento can’t stop the corner of his mouth from lifting. 

“Wait—Did I hear that right?! Nanamin’s here?!” 

“Itadori, wait for us!” 

“Kugisaki, you dropped your bag—Oh, come on, guys, slow down!” 

Rapid footsteps approach, then the three first years appear at the door, gasping in unison. 

“Oh, my gosh!” Yuuji, the pink-haired teenager shouts as he points at the baby in Satoru’s arms. “Nanamin, when did you have a baby?!” 

Nobara’s question comes a split-second after Yuuji’s is finished. “Is that why [Y/L/N]-sensei quit a while ago?!” 

Megumi walks to stand beside Satoru to analyze the little bundle in his teacher’s arms. “She’s… adorable.” He mumbles, gently smiling when she wraps her hand around his finger. “Very adorable. She has [Y/L/N]-sensei’s laugh.”

“Isn’t she just so precious?” Satoru asks, proudly showing her off to the first years. “So sweet and friendly, just like her Uncle Gojo.” 

“Hopefully she won’t be as reckless as you,” Kento says as he holds his hands out, and Satoru returns his daughter to him. “[Y/N] and I already believe that she’ll be the exact opposite of me.” 

Yuuji sits beside Kento to get a closer look at her. “She’s so cute. How old is she, Nanamin?” 

“Four months as of yesterday.” 

Nobara crosses her arms and pouts. “How come only he knew?” She asks, gesturing to Satoru. 

“Well, when I had to go away on a long mission, she was only a month old,” Kento explains. “He kept an eye on her and [Y/N] for me; made sure that they were both safe. I’m very grateful. We had plans to tell you about our daughter soon.” 

“Where is she now?” Megumi asks. 

“At home. I wanted her to have the morning and most of the afternoon to herself. I’ll be heading back shortly.” 

Satoru and the students share similar looks with each other, and Kento knows what they want to ask. He pulls out his phone and dials your number. “Hi, baby,” you greet when the line connects, “how’s our girl?” 

“Hi, love. She’s amazing, as always,” he says as he looks down, playfully poking the little one’s nose. “I’m with Gojo and our students. They want to know if it’s alright to come and see you.” 

“We’ll cook dinner if you’re too tired!” Nobara chimes in hopefully.

“Actually, better yet, I can just order something for everyone,” Satoru suggests. 

“And we’ll clean up,” Yuuji and Megumi say at the same time. 

You laugh, then answer Kento, “That’s more than alright. Bring them here.” 

“Thought you’d say that. See you in a bit.” 

“Yes!” Yuuji cheers. “Alright, I’m gonna ride with Nanamin so I can sit next to the baby!” 

Nobara glares at him. “Not if I get to the car first!!” 

When they sprint out the door, Megumi groans before rushing after them. “Didn’t I just tell you guys to slow down? We’re going to the same place!” 

Satoru laughs, then waits for Kento to finish up so they can walk out together. 

—

there was an ask in my inbox requesting a cute drabble for dad! nanami ft. gojo (as a trusted friend of his) and the first years, but it disappeared. hope u like it, anon <3