#I know I did my best but ain’t gonna keep being stupid for someone who disrespects me & makes everything an argument | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

joels6string · 1 year ago

Text

More Than My Father's Son

Joel Miller x f!OC

Chapter 12 - My Brother Joel

Summary: Tommy and Joel head on the road for a doomed mission to find you in the Utah wilderness, dead, alive, or infected.

Rating: E

Word Count: 3.6k

Content: NSFW, high levels of violence normal to the TLOU world, angst, fluff, miscommunication trope (it’s Joel Miller…), slow burn, Joel’s traumatic childhood, getting together, smut, canon divergence after SLC, fix it fic

“Maybe you should have told her! Maybe if you didn’t fuckin’ lie to her she never woulda left! You ever imagine that, Joel? What your life could be like if you were honest for once? You’d be wakin’ up to her in your damn bed instead of being out here in mourning!”

Chapter 11 || Series Masterlist

My brother is many things.

He’s played as many roles as there is, taking each one onto a pair of shoulders that should have buckled from the pressure years ago. I’ve seen him through the hardest days of his life. The high school graduation pop couldn’t be bothered to attend. The day he found out he was gonna be a daddy before he could legally drink a beer. He called me when Rebecca left him with nothing but a note, Sarah still tucked up in a crib alone in that shit-hole apartment he scrounged over three jobs to keep. He was crying that day, not for the loss of the woman he’d made his wife outta nothing but obligation, but for the little blonde-haired girl nestled fast asleep against his chest. See, he didn’t think he could raise her. Said he wasn’t fit for it. But I knew better. He raised me, and I think I turned out all right.

And raise her he did. That girl lived the best life he could give her, he didn’t care what it cost. He built a business, bought a house, nurtured a daughter that he swore could save the world one day, and I bet she would have. He never complained. Sure, about not having money sometimes, or losing jobs to the bigger guys, but he never wanted anything different, he didn’t wish for something else.

When Sarah died, so did he. Who could blame him? I carried the guilt of leaving him in Boston from the moment I stepped outta that apartment. I just couldn’t watch him waste away. It was selfish, I know that. But seeing my brother–my goddamn hero–turn into everything he stood against wasn’t something I could do. I tried to pull him back, but the man’s more stubborn than a mule. So I just prayed he’d find his way back, not for me, but for himself. For Sarah. For the man I always knew he was and the one he deserved to be.

Then he shows up some decade and a half later, gray hair, wrinkles around his eyes, scarred like you wouldn’t believe. And damn if he didn’t feel like he’d taken some of himself back. He had Ellie, who I owe my life for what she did for him. I don’t think she knows the extent of that gratitude and I don’t plan to tell her, she don’t need that burden. He loves that girl like his own and so do I. That’s all that matters.

But then there’s her. Millie. All fire and sheer will, if she wasn’t on our side I’d be terrified of her. And god damn does he love that woman. He thinks I can’t tell, but I’ve been watching him practically my whole life, hell, tryin’ to be him, I know. Joel’s a man that would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it, but he aint’ one to share what goes on his head. That’s for him to deal with and no one else. He’s a locked box, walled up behind heavily guarded gates, always has been, but with her? It’s all right there on his sleeve for the world to see. Something tells me she knows more about him than most, and I don’t think he needed to speak a damn word for her to figure it out neither.

I don’t know what happened that night of the storm. At this point, I don’t know if I ever will. But something changed.

I knew about Millie, what happened to her. Maria and I...we’d made the call to keep it from him as long as we could. He’d have run off, never to be seen again, I ain’t stupid. I didn’t know what to do. How do you tell someone who's been through hell enough times it shoulda killed him that his one good thing was gone? I couldn’t do it. Not after I’d seen him for the first time in over 20 years. He was smiling again. Strumming on a guitar. Writing songs. Hell, I had him sketching blueprints; he was Joel again. Maybe it was selfish. I wanted to prolong it, keep him around for as long as I could before the inevitable.

And here we are. At the inevitable.

I might as well be riding through these trails alone. He’s silent, it’s like a god damn funeral march. But in reality I guess it is. I’ve contemplated turnin’ around, forcing him back to the life he’s gonna have to face living here eventually. But I can’t. See, the thing is that through all he’s lost, he’s never once gotten the chance to mourn. There was always something else. I think maybe he needs these quiet weeks on the road, and I’ll keep him alive while he’s out here, going through whatever it is he needs to go through.

There’s no way we find her. It’s too much land, too many possibilities, it’s been too long; seven weeks by the time we get to the last place she was seen. For her sake I hope it was quick, and for his I hope it ain’t like Eugene said. If he’s gotta put a bullet in her head, even like that, I don’t see a path back.

We’ve come across a few straggler infected, and his face breaks my heart every time. The fear he’ll see her snarling and deformed, I can’t take it anymore. The way his eyes beg for recognition to end the ache in his chest and for the chance to keep hope alive all the same.

The way he kills them is damn near barbaric. Every swing of that blade an attempt to collect the debt he feels he’s owed. He’s still swinging long after they’re dead and gone, thankfully he’s smart enough to not waste our ammo. I pray we don’t come across any hunters on this trip. The runners I can watch be torn to shreds, I ain’t so sure I can watch him do that to a man again. I’ve had more than my share of that.

Everyday he’s closer to the god damn edge and I’m just waiting for him to fall. It’s bound to happen. Every night he sits by the fire sharpening that damn machete, sometimes gone dull from whatever poor unfortunate soul we encountered, other times he takes it out on a tree, an old rundown house, whatever he can find. I let him have at it, keeping an eye that the desperate crying he does when he thinks he’s alone doesn’t attract anyone or anything. It did once, shot it right between the eyes. I was proud of that one.

We’re set to reach the last place she was seen today, I’m mentally gearing up. Reckon it won’t be pretty. I don’t know where it goes from there. I don’t know if I want to either.

********

“I’m goin’ to look around,” Joel announced before his boots even hit the cement of the old garage, the first words he’d spoken since a grunt of acknowledgement that morning.

“Joel,” Tommy called quickly, “I should come with you.”

“Stay with the horses.”

“Joel!”

But he was already gone. It was a calm, February night, the sky clear as the setting sun cast a hazy, gray light over the untouched snow. Untouched. Not a print in sight, not even a damn rabbit. He should have checked the houses, but something had told him it was useless. You weren’t here. You hadn’t been here in months. Months. The time that had lapsed between you vanishing without a trace and his arrival made him sick to his stomach. He should have been here. He should have stopped you from leaving. He should have fought.

The sound of the rushing river marked the spot where your tracks had stopped. This was the last place you were known to have been. It felt like a fucking burial site. He couldn’t do anything in the dark, so he stood and watched the water run by, the force of it surprising for its lack of depth. Jagged rocks jut out of the white capping current, the barren skeletons of the trees reaching up to the heavens he could no longer believe in.

As the sound lulled him into whatever semblance of tranquility he could find, he wondered how you made it across. It was too wide to jump and too fast to bridge with something as simple as a log, but the rocks could provide a path if traveled carefully. But you were sick. Coughing, a fever seizing up your already ice-cold body, you wouldn’t have the dexterity…

He took off in a sprint back to the house, slamming open the front door hard enough it had Tommy reaching for his gun from where he sat on the floor.

“Jesus Christ. Joel!” Tommy scolded, throwing the shotgun back down with a heavy thud, “I coulda shot you.”

“Down the river,” Joel panted, lungs and throat burning, “Tracks stopped at the bank. It’s too fast. Down the river…”

With numb fingers, Tommy pulled out the map, tracing north until the river opened to a lake. It was miles away, but not more than a day's travel.

“Tell me what you wanna do,” Tommy offered, “Straight shot to where it dumps off?”

“Yeah…” Joel muttered, his mind racing against the light of optimism threatening to banish the darkness of reality.

“Alright then, first light. Sit and eat.”

It would be a miracle if you survived that trip, but it wasn’t impossible. He’d done it, sort of, and that was the catch. He’d had Henry to pull him out, you were alone. But maybe you’d maneuvered well enough to avoid crashing into a rock head first. Or maybe this was all just fucking delusion.

There was no chance of sleep, he just paced, muttering incoherently under his breath about the chance this worked. It was low, and he hated how hard it was to convince himself of that. Back in Jackson as he and Tommy had readied to leave, he saddled up your horse. At the time he’d said in case they found you, you’d be thrilled, you loved that damn animal. But in reality it was just one of the few pieces of you he had left. Bill would be his from now on, maybe he’d even try and replicate those ridiculous biscuits you insisted on making for him.

“You sleep at all?” Tommy asked, still groggy as he lifted himself onto his elbows with a groan.

“A bit,” Joel lied, the barrel of his shotgun shining after two hours of polishing.

“When’d you become so shit at lyin’?”

Probably when he lost it all because of it.

“Let’s go,” Joel snapped, leaping to his feet and grabbing his pack already ready by the door, “Eat on the way.”

Hours turned into days, and on day three of ice cold conditions, searching through trees and caves, and too many close calls with frostbite, Tommy stepped in. An arm across Joel’s chest kept him upright as Tommy pinned him against an oak, his head shaking in denial and defiance as he deflected the reality staring him in the face. You were gone. There was no finding you, there was no closure, no last chance to count the freckles on your face or memorize the warm shade of your hair. There was nothing. Just snow and haunting silence beneath his brother’s sympathetic gaze.

“I know you loved her,” Tommy finally found the opening to say it, “And maybe if you admitted that it would help you…move on.”

“Move on!?” Joel roared, finding the strength to shove his brother off of him, “Move on from what? What the hell do I have to move on from? Huh? I got nothin’! Cause you sent her away!”

“I ain’t doin’ this again…”

“You let your wife send her away–”

The snow softened Tommy’s landing as Joel’s shoulder slammed into his stomach and sent him flying to the ground, a lucky knee to Joel’s stomach giving Tommy enough time to scramble back and right himself with enough distance to avoid another attack.

“You think about Ellie waitin’ for you to come home,” Tommy cautioned, “Before you do something stupid. You got amends to make with her before this happens all over again.”

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth.” This was not the time for principled speeches.

“Have you learned nothin’?!”

“I said shut your god damn mouth, boy!”

“Go take a walk! You need one. Then we’re fuckin’ leaving, and goin’ home.”

Once he was out of Tommy’s line of sight, he collapsed. The sun was going down, the distorted orb reflecting on the surface like flames, no doubt Tommy would be bringing them back to that house tonight for rest indoors before the long journey home. Maybe the ghost of you walked inbetween the walls, or were you out wandering this barren wasteland always trying to find your way home. He’d done this. The knowledge of that fact had been there all along, but it had taken Tommy screaming it at him for it to batter against the forefront of his mind. He did this. If he hadn’t lied to you it was unlikely you’d have volunteered. After you’d confronted him he should have fought, he should have been slamming his fist against your door begging for you to forgive him, unleashing every single one of his ugly truths when you let him inside to beg for one last chance. But he hadn’t. And now you were gone.

“Hey there, stranger,” a strange voice greeted that had the hair prickling on the back of Joel’s neck, “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

Joel remained silent, wracking his brain for a way to pull the revolver from the waist of jeans without being seen.

“What brings you out this way?” the voice continued, it was too friendly, too decent…

“Sightseein’,” Joel finally lied, keeping his eyes straight forward.

“Don’t see many people doing that these days.”

He didn’t need to see it to know it was there, the rifle pointed right at the back of his head. This wasn’t a bad view if were the last thing he would see.

“Why don’t you just get on with it?” Joel finally asked, resigning to his fate with almost a sense of relief.

“Hey!” Tommy was yelling, Joel could see him sprinting over, shotgun raised. It was like he didn’t know that thing was shit at a distance and his brain would be sprayed across the snow faster than Tommy could load another set of shells, “Put the fuckin’ gun down!”

“You boys from Texas?” the stranger asked, Joel sighing in frustration at the game this man was playing, remaining silent as he gnashed his teeth together.

“Way back when,” Tommy answered, earning a stony look from his brother. He never knew when to keep his mouth shut.

“So, which one of you is Joel?”

“Who the hell are you?”

Ice ran through Joel’s veins at the sound of his name. He wasn’t unaware of where he was; at the present he was closer to Salt Lake City than home, a city that had his stomach churning. For as many as he’d slaughtered, he knew some got away with full knowledge of who he was and what he’d smuggled out of that hospital. One wrong move and Ellie’s location was no longer safe, one slip of the tongue, one wrong look.

He’d destroyed the Fireflies, singlehandedly. There were a few small factions scattered about, but their cause was all but destroyed thanks to him. Without a cure on the horizon, they had nothing left to hope for, nothing to work towards. They could join the rest of what was left of society, hopeless and dejected.

“You let my brother go,” Joel finally bargained, “And I’ll go with you.”

“Joel what the hell is goin’ on?” Tommy was panicking now, “You ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

“Let him go.”

Now he was turning, finding a man in his 70s holding the rifle he’d already known was there. Suddenly this became less urgent, he could see the man’s hands trembling and a flicker of fear in his eye. At least Joel’s reputation was still intact. With one quick lunge he could have him round the knees, the rifle loosening enough from those gnarled fingers that Joel could add it to his own arsenal.

“I don’t want any trouble,” the man finally surrendered, “Just heard a lot about you.”

“From?” Joel growled, uncaring now of what might happen as he snuck his hand to the small of his back, finding the trusty weapon its usual spot.

“People passing through. I wasn’t expecting you, but my wife has a way of knowing things. She thought you’d turn up. And here you are.”

Tommy and Joel shared a look, had this man encountered Eugene and Paulie at some point? It was far off their course, there was no way they’d stumbled into him. There was something else he knew, something that had Joel��s heart thudding in his chest.

“Why don’t you come back with me, get a hot meal and good night’s sleep,” the man offered, “We don’t have much in the way of beds, but it’s warm and you look like you haven’t felt a fire in days.”

“You got a name?” Joel inquired, still wary, but the sirens in his head had stopped blaring.

“Oh. Where are my manners? Corbin. Nice to meet you Joel and…” he dragged out, looking over at Tommy.

“Tommy,” the younger Miller introduced, holding his hand out first for a shake, a silent promise that all that was said was true, both men nodding at the implications as they gripped the other.

It was a short ride, about an hour, back to Corbin’s, the property evident from a distance as the smoke from the chimney plumed up into the dusk sky. Joel’s despair had returned, the knowledge that in the morning he and Tommy would be on their way back to Wyoming alone and without closure. Where did he go from here?

“Joel,” Tommy sounded from beside him, “I didn’t mean what I said. This ain’t your fault. None of it. I shoulda fought harder–”

“It is my fault.” Saying it hurt. Saying it opened up the mouth of the beast waiting to swallow him.

“It’s just up ahead,” Corbin interrupted, the small farmhouse coming into view, heavily fenced and secure.

“Quite the place you got here,” Joel admired, a fond smile settling on his face as he recalled a man with similar barriers, and for a second he wondered just how old Bill was doing. It had crossed his mind to head back out East and get him, bring him to the safe haven of Jackson, but something told him Bill liked the fight and would prefer to go down swinging anyway.

“Horses can go in the barn,” their host instructed as he hopped down to open the gate, “I’m sure some dinner is already going.”

“Appreciate it.”

The house was warm, a fire roaring in the hearth as the three men stepped inside, Corbin calling for his wife, Lee, who rounded into the room in an apron. It felt almost dystopian.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, the sitcom feel of this moment had Joel’s eyebrows furrowing, “More stragglers, Cor?”

“Yeah,” Corbin replied, smiling, “We got Tommy, and that one there, is Joel.”

“Oh… Joel.”

“Mhmm.”

“Why do you all act like you know me?” Joel snapped, now it was grating, now he was panicking, this felt off. He knew what kind of people lurked about, cannibals and religious zealots, he cursed himself for leaving his weapons with the horse.

“Easy now,” Tommy warned, ticking his head down for Joel to see that Tommy hadn’t been as foolish as he had, his pistol still tucked into the holster at his hip, “Ma’am, it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for…your hospitality.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re here,” Lee replied, “I’ll go throw a little bit more into the stew. Take a seat.”

Neither man obliged, even as Corbin rounded the old blue couch and collapsed. The house was like a relic of the 80s, gaudy florals in bold colors, angels and religious statues on the shelves surrounded by bibles and books. Even an old box TV still sat in the corner despite the lack of electricity. As Joel looked around, he saw the a medical degree hanging in a frame, Corbin’s, and family photos of who he assumed were their two hosts and their children. He hated how much of it reminded him of the house he and Tommy had grown up in, even down to the wood paneling on the walls.

Muffled talking could be heard in the kitchen, a door to what must have been a basement slamming shut. A third? Now Joel wanted that gun, it was just out of reach but Corbin was already half asleep on the couch. The footsteps grew closer, he could see the shadow against the floor approaching, his senses blaring as he took a small step in front of Tommy, his arm lifting slightly to shield him from whoever it was about to make face.

“Corbin, did you–”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Tommy whispered under his breath as the unidentified person rounded into the room.

“Joel?”

Chapter 13 (There's a tag list now if you prefer that!)

Art as always by @natendo-art 😭🩵

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #more than my father’s son

40 notes · View notes

alsaza · 11 months ago

Text

Living Dead Girl |Charles Lee Ray pt.1

“Hey. Gimme a shot of that straight whiskey.”

The bar keeper hands Charles the drink and he puts 10$ on the counter.

“You know I’m just looking for someone here. A girl, to be specific.”

“Dude Chucky, I know that, but please don't tell me every fucking time I’m working my shift here. Besides when did you become so desperate? That's kinda embaressing.”

Charles finishs his drink and leaves the counter.

“Who are you? Never seen you here before.”

“Dumped my ex in the river. What do you think?”

“Well it's normal to see a girl like you alone giving herself the last shot if she’s not some drug addict from the street and you definitely don’t look like one to me.”

She laughs “I’m y/n.”

"I’m Charles, wanna give ourself the last shot?”

“Sure”

“Were you serious with your ex? Come on tell me.”

“I mean if you’re sensitive I wasn't, but you can take it how you want.”

“Y/n, you see that little fucker over there?”

“You mean the bar keeper?”

“Yea, he’s some ‘friend’ of mine. Why don't go get a room and take him with us?”

“I don’t like taking things really long so sure.” says she and kisses him.

"Okay, go check in I’m gonna get him to go with us then.” Says Charles and hands her some cash.

"Eddie! See that girl there leaving? Her and I are taking a room in the Knights Inn motel you wanna join?”

He agrees and comes with him to the motel across the street.

"I booked room 8” say,s y/n and hands Charles the key.

He takes it and they go up to the room.

“I knew this place wasn't the best but god damn.” says Eddie.

"Dude just relax we're gonna have a good night here man.”

Chucky takes a chair and punches him unconscious.

"Oh my god Charles that was insane.”

“I know. Now let’s tie this dipshit on the bed and we'll see how it goes.”

Not even minutes later he awakes tied up with bed sheets and some in his mouth to prevent loud screams.

"I always thought you were a dick” says Chucky while getting a sharp knife out of the kitchen.

“Charles I tied that bitch up give me the knife first. And to answer your question, I did dump my ex in the river. says she and laughs while and stabs on Eddies leg.

“That was good, now cut his toes of slowly I like watching the blood flow down.” says he and takes his coat and shirt off.

“Of course, besides why don't you boil some water? I don’t like anyone watching.”

He understands what she means and fills the kettle with water and boils it.

"Eddie! I got something for ya!” Says Charles and pours the hot water over his stomach and laughs hysterically.

Eddie screams but nobody hears him..

“Charles you should’ve had pour it over his face, not his god damn stomach!”

“No no it’s okay babe. Is there a chance you maybe got a lighter with you?”

"Yes are you gonna burn entirely or what?”

He doesn't even respond and lights up a cigarette.

"Eddie you stupid fuck, but I promise to let you keep your heard.” He laughs and pulls the cigarette in both his eyes.

“Now you’re fucking blind you shit! But y/n, yk I ain’t fucking with ya yet?”

"What the fuck Charles, I thought that's what we were going for? Kill this man and have sex in this room! You're being ridiculous”

"No, doll, why don’t we give us some time? Besides HE is still alive!”

She wanted to respond but he puts his knife on her lips.

"Just relax babe.” he hands her the knife and she cuts Eddies throat.

“Fuck.. I needed this.”

#chucky #charles lee ray #fanfic

7 notes · View notes

i-didnt-do-1t · 1 year ago

Text

3rd and final part- don’t think it’s my best but I have been trying to write it for a While, so enjoy :)

(Part 2- https://www.tumblr.com/i-didnt-do-1t/721242872730566656/continuation-of-the-delancey-writing-prompt-enjoy)

“You live real close to the distribution centre.”

Morris shoots Oscar a glare as if to blame him once again for the last hour of their lives before he answers.

“Yeah.”

“Then how comes yous are late sometimes in the morning?”

This time it takes Oscar grabbing Morris by the upper arm to stop him from launching himself at the kid.

“Grow up.” He hisses and Morris freezes for a second, face darkening before he rips his arm out of Oscar’s grip and rolls his eyes, shooting a sharp look at Les over his shoulder.

“We’d be there faster if you could walk.”

The kid tried to pick up the pace a little at that but the limp is apparently getting getting worse the longer he puts weight on it.

“Not like I asked someone to kick my knee,” he mumbles under his breath.

In any other situation Oscar thinks he would find this some degree of fucking hysterical because of how surreal it all was but the fact of the matter was that the kid was walking so goddamn slow and the five minute walk had already turned to ten and he was ready to lose his mind.

Weasel was going to be pissed they were late.

“You ever kicked someone in the knee?” Les asks casually, conversationally,

And Oscar has to stop and stares at him for a second, in disbelief maybe? And he wonders if all eight year olds? Ten year olds? (He has no idea how old he is) have this this little self preservation. It’s almost as impressive as it is frustrating.

“No. but if it would slow Kelly down this much I’d think about it.”

Les frowns deeply, “That’s not nice.”

“We’re not nice.”

And then the kid rolls his eyes like Oscar had said something unreasonably stupid.

“Well, I know that.”

Morris exhales, harsh, and takes a step away shaking his head before rounding back on them again, but this time before Oscar can intervene he’s hunkered down in front of Les, stopping him in his tracks.

(Weasel is going to be pissed they’re so late)

“I am this close” Morris holds up a finger and thumb, inches apart, “to showing you how not nice I am.” He stands up, grabbing the kid shoulder and shoving him forward, “So keep walking.”

After that the kid goes silent, and keeps walking.

Oscar can’t really complain.

—

Oscar can hear David around the wall entrance of the distribution centre before he sees him, voice a little high, a little frantic in a way that he’d usually find vaguely entertaining if he hadn’t had to babysit for the last hour.

They stop just to the side of the gate.

“-do you mean you haven’t seen him he said he was selling with you today? I thought he met you earlier.”

“Like I says I ain’t seen him since this morning.” Race’s voice. “Maybe ask Skits, Les likes to play with Tumbler sometimes right?”

“Right.” Then more to himself. “Right. Hey Skittery?”

The kid stumbles forward slightly to his side from his place behind him in such a way that could only mean Morris pushed him but he freezes, catches himself on the corner of the wall and somehow, for some reason, ends up looking up at Oscar. “He’s gonna be mad at me.”

Jesus fucking Christ how did he get here.

“So?”

“I told him I was gonna sell with Race but I didn’t.”

Surely Oscar was not the only one out of the three of them that saw the irony in this situation- Davey Jacobs, strike leader’s kid brother stood next to him peering round the gate and asking him for reassurance.

He looks from the kid to Morris who looks equal parts annoyed by the kids decision to start asking questions again but also vaguely amused at Oscar being subject to them.

Then something in his expression shifts just a little, just enough that only Oscar notices it.

“He ever hit you?” Morris asks and Les shakes his head almost immediately. So Morris shrugs, leans casually against the wall to his side, tipping his chin down a little. “Then what’s the problem.”

“He’ll be mad.”

“Yeah and he’s the human equivalent of wet cat.”

“That’s mean.”

“We’ve been over this already.”

Les stops talking, which puts Oscar on edge because so far the kid has not shut up which only leads him to believe he’s thinking and that is a terrifying prospect in itself.

“You were both nice to me.” He says and his voice is a little quieter this time round. Oddly sincere.

Fuck this, Oscar thinks.

He grabs the kid’s shoulder, an easy grip due to his shirt being a couple sizes too large, and starts to drag him toward the group of boys in the middle of the distribution centre, away from the gate. He doesn’t feel bad when the kid has to speed along on his bad leg to keep up or fall, he doesn’t know what else he was expecting.

“Hey Mouth.” He says, and he pushes the kid maybe a little too roughly toward him, so hard he stumbles into Davey’s side as he turns at the the sound of his name. “You should keep a better eye on your things.”

Davey barely even spares him a glance as his eyes widen and he immediately hunkers down in front his brother, cupping his face, probing just so gently at the cuts and bruises, expression stern and worried and pulling him into his chest in a hug.

Oscar stares for a moment, then looks away. When he glances back he can see Morris’s eyes still on them.

He turns back just in time for Davey to let up, to tuck Les close to his side, an arm around his shoulder and he’s about to say something but then Racetrack is stood in front of him, cigar held loosely between his lips.

He whistles low, makes a show of lifting his cigar out of his mouth and blowing a plum of smoke, and there’s something about it, some genuine aspect of his expression, his anger. “Beating up a kid is a new low, even for you guys.”

Oscar shrugs, shoves his hands in his pockets, knows he is going to revel in this. “Would be if it were us. You shouldn’t be bringing a kid to your gambling games Racer, something bad might happen to ‘em”

Oscar deeply enjoys the realisation that takes half a second to cross through Racetrack’s eyes as his confidence crumbles. He pushes past him, scoffing, hears Albert ask ‘what the hell that meant’

“Hey Jacobs.” Davey looks at him, looks unsure of whether or not he is about to bite. His free hand plays on the handle of his bag across his chest.

“Les says you found him.” He says.

“Yeah we did. An’ he looked worse ‘fore we cleaned him up.”

“I was all bloody.” The kid confirms, nodding.

David looks stuck for a moment, glances between Oscar and Morris who is still waiting by the gates entrance, cigarette between his fingers.

(Weasel is gonna be furious they’re late.)

David has a hand resting on Les’s head, tangled in his hair. “Thank you. You didn’t-“ he clears his throat. “You didn’t have to do that I appreciate that you did.”

“He tell you what happened?”

“No.”

“What’d we say about lying to your big brother Les.”

And he remembers the way his knuckles had cracked across Morris’s face the last time he had lied. The way his fist had felt curled in his shirt as he shoved him against their bedroom door.

He doesn’t think Les has to worry about that.

Deflated, the kid turns to Davey the best he can without the hand dropping from his hair.

Admittedly, David for his part looks vaguely confused, vaguely suspicious.

Oscar doesn’t blame him.

He tells him about going along with Racer. About the group of three older boys chasing him till they caught up.

He takes note as David begins to pale, at the way his jaw starts working.

“Okay.” He says and his voice is held together and steady in a way the hand gripped around his bag handle is not. “Thanks for telling me Les.”

“Can I go see Jack.”

David nods quickly, “Yeah, go see Jack.”

For the first time since he stepped foot through the gate Oscar notices Jack standing to the side with a couple of other boys that Oscar vaguely recognises but never cared about enough to learn the name off. His expression shifts when Les appears though.

“Thank you. I mean it.” David says, tone hard.

Oscar’s attention slides back to him and he shrugs, hates sincerity, has no idea how to hold something so fragile without breaking it.

“Wasn’t gonna let him bleed out.”

“Still. I didn’t think you would care. You’ve specifically targeted him before.”

The tension is off. It’s his mistake but he didn’t account for how uncomfortable this would make him feel. He can still feel both Kelly and Morris’s eyes on him from different directions.

“I have a younger brother.” He says, and in a way that is explanation enough.

He turns away before David has the chance to say anything else, moves back toward Morris who is staring, expression like a scowl but not, as he nears the end of his cigarette.

He holds it out to him upon his approach and Oscar accepts it bringing it to his lips and inhaling the taste of smoke.

“Weasel’s gonna kill us.” Morris says

“Probably.”

He drops the cigarette, presses it into the ground and reaches a hand up to tangle in Morris’s hair and lightly shove him away.

Morris just rolls his eyes.

#newsies #morris delancey #davey jacobs #the delancey brothers #oscar delancey

18 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 9 months ago

Text

Modie pt.1

Edie: You don’t have to pretend to be busy

Edie: you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine

Moses: [a massive delay in replying because he is busy]

Moses: I am busy

Edie: Sure

Edie: well don’t worry because it was a stupid idea anyway

Moses: Cheer up, baby, I’ve had better since

Moses: it’s a surprise but you’ll be so happy when you find out

Edie: I don’t want presents

Moses: You’ll want this one

Edie: All I wanted was to spend more time with you

Moses: I’ll be back [when he will], promise

Edie: I guess I’ll see you whenever you are

Moses: Don’t say it like that

Edie: What?

Moses: You’re not excited no more?

Edie: I was excited when you were coming back [the day he said]

Moses: It can’t be helped jobs running over, I ain’t out having fun without you, am I

Edie: I said it’s fine, I understand

Moses: You don’t, but daddy’s doing something proper nice for you, wait and see

Edie: You are?

Moses: Yeah, ‘course I am

Edie: I’m not allowed to come [to the next place he’s working]

Moses: Don’t worry, this is gonna make up for it and you’ll want to stay right where I’m putting you

Edie: Why did they want you to stay, can’t someone else do it

Moses: I’m the best, you know that

Edie: Yeah, I know

Edie: I’m still upset about it though

Moses: Me too, but if I left it to these dopes I’d have to come back and fix what they’d done wrong and it’d take twice as long

Edie: Okay, I’ll forgive you

Moses: I’m doing it for you, every job is

Edie: But I don’t need anything

Moses: Don’t you trust me to know what you need?

Edie: Yes but

Edie: Why did you make mammy tell me, don’t you want to talk to me?

Moses: I’m upset when you’re upset and I’ve got to focus

Edie: I try not to be

Moses: But you are and it’s all I can think of

Edie: I’m sorry, daddy

Moses: It’s not your fault

Edie: I’ll leave you alone

Moses: I don’t want us both alone

Edie: I won’t be, don’t worry, I’ll be fine

Moses: With who?

Edie: What do you mean?

Moses: Your mammy says there’s something going on with you and Liam, is there?

Edie: I’ve told you about Liam

Moses: Have you told me everything?

Edie: I don’t know what you want to know

Moses: She thinks you’re all over him when mine and her backs are turned, it’s what she said

Edie: Oh

Edie: I’ve not slept with him

Moses: I told her you wouldn’t

Edie: She’s just worried, I’ll tell her

Moses: She reckons I’m to keep a close eye on you or you’ll be getting yourself in trouble

Edie: What do you think?

Moses: You’re a good girl, you’re not like her

Edie: Why do you have to be mean

Moses: I’m not

Edie: I wouldn’t be here if she was a ‘good girl’

Edie: you wanted me, didn’t you?

Moses: And I want you still

Edie: So be nice, you couldn’t have done it without her

Moses: I just don’t want you being hurt how the other lads hurt her before she was with me, that’s all I mean

Edie: No one’s going to hurt me, I’ve got you to protect me, haven’t I

Moses: Yeah, but I’m not with you now or as much as I should be

Edie: I’ve my brother and Liam too

Moses: Right, but it’s not the same

Edie: They wouldn’t let me be hurt

Moses: No, I know

Edie: What’s the matter?

Moses: Nothing, your mammy and her carry on worried me for you

Edie: I want you to care

Moses: Well I do

Edie: Promise?

Moses: I miss you enough to walk off this job

Edie: I wish you could

Edie: It aches inside my chest

Moses: I want to but it’ll kick off

Edie: I know you can’t

Moses: Post yourself to us

Edie: Will you have time to unwrap me?

Edie: I don’t want to suffocate waiting for you

Moses: I’ll make the time before you go blue, like

Edie: We’re almost blue, your veins show through your skin like mine and mammy’s too

Moses: Because you’ve my blood

Edie: I can hear it, in my ears

Moses: Ours is faster than other people’s, we’ve that much to do

Edie: I hope [however long it is until he’s back now] goes as fast

Moses: How long are you able to hold your breath for?

Moses: post’d have you sent here in [however many days]

Edie: I’ll have to practice

Moses: No cheating

Edie: I wouldn’t 😠

Moses: I’ll have to watch yous

Edie: You still think I’m a sneak

Edie: I shouldn’t have told you about that

Moses: I only want to see you

Edie: I only wanted to see you

Moses: Hold your breath and I’ll count, we’re a team

Edie: Okay, I’m ready

Moses: Go

Edie: [facetime him, holding your breath]

Moses: [we see you counting sir like this is fine and casual]

Edie: [it’s not at all but at least you will just hang up when you are unable to hold your breath any longer, rather than let him watch you catch your breath]

Moses: [tell her again the final number she got to and where that is in terms of how far, like we’re naming a town she’s made it to if she was posted, you know what I mean]

Edie: That’s not gonna cut it

Edie: I’ll see how David Blaine did it

Moses: [tell her how long it would take you to drive there from where you are as if she’s waiting there and you’re gonna pick her up]

Edie: If you go [a speed that you should not be driving on any road] you can cut that in half

Moses: [ramp that up by saying an even more ludicrous speed to cut the time even more, stop flirting please ffs]

Edie: I think I can wait that long

Moses: You’ve no need to practise crawling, walking or even running no more, you could to me

Edie: But

Edie: will you be there when I get there?

Moses: Where else would I be?

Edie: [where he is right now] or [places he’s been before] or [where he’s going next]

Moses: Unless you’re lost and that’s where you end up going

Edie: Am I lost?

Moses: Do you feel you are?

Edie: Yes, maybe

Edie: I don’t know

Moses: But you’re not scared

Edie: What of?

Moses: Anything ever

Moses: you’re too like me to be

Edie: I’m like you

Moses: You’re of me

Edie: I’m yours

Moses: My princess

Edie: Why do you have to be the only one who can do the job

Moses: Why haven’t you sung to us?

Edie: I’m waiting to do it in person

Moses: But I’ve got no patience to wait

Edie: If you’ve no patience then neither have I

Moses: You can’t have

Edie: Still you make me

Moses: Make your mammy bring yous to me

Edie: She’s not going to do that

Moses: That’s why you’re gonna need to force her

Edie: She says there’s no families on jobs like that

Edie: is that why they send you?

Moses: And what would she know about the jobs I’m on?

Edie: Isn’t it true?

Moses: It’s true I don’t play by no one’s rules

Edie: And you know my mammy won’t be forced to do nothing

Moses: By me, but she’s wrapped ‘round your finger

Edie: I know how to make people want to do things

Moses: And don’t you want to spend time together?

Edie: If you’re working all the time, we won’t get to

Moses: They can’t work me all the time

Moses: just say you don’t want to if you don’t

Edie: I’d never say that

Moses: Sounds like you’re saying it

Edie: I’m not, I’ll come, of course I will

Moses: Promise

Edie: If you mean it, I’ll talk to her right now

Moses: What wouldn’t I mean?

Edie: I mean, you’re not just saying it, to make me feel better

Moses: It’s to make us both feel better, having you here

Edie: Are you lonely there?

Moses: And so bored

Edie: You won’t be, I’ll entertain you

Moses: You’ll bring the fun with you, will you?

Edie: I make you laugh, you said so

Moses: [tell her about how you used to make her laugh when she was a baby and then a toddler, just gradually getting older with the stories until it’s more recent]

Edie: No one is ever going to try as hard for me as you do, are they

Moses: No one loves you like I do

Edie: I’m the luckiest girl in the world

Moses: I’m lucky to be your daddy

Edie: Were you scared? You were so young when I was born

Moses: No, I wanted you

Edie: What was it like having two babies at the same time? She wasn’t quite 1

Moses: It would’ve been better if she was mine but I loved having yous both

Edie: You should have more, I’ve decided it’s okay

Moses: Oh have you really?

Edie: Yeah

Edie: You love it and you’re so good at it, it’s be unfair not to let you

Moses: You’d change your mind looking at me holding another one

Edie: You said it, I’m too big to hold

Moses: I reckon I said you’re getting to be, not yet

Edie: How long?

Moses: How big are you? Been ages since I’ve measured you off the door how we did when you was small

Edie: I’m taller than Rio now

Moses: What about stood next to your mammy?

Edie: Almost, there’s barely anything in it

Moses: Maybe I’ll have to face it that you are a big girl now then, treat you as one

Edie: Are you sad?

Moses: Wouldn’t be fair to stop you growing up

Edie: Maybe I don’t want to

Moses: Why, I’m not going to lock you in like my cousin would, you can do what you want

Edie: Do you still want me to go see them?

Moses: Are you after going for yourself or only for us?

Edie: I’m curious

Moses: So meet them because of that

Edie: I embarrassed myself too

Moses: What d’you mean? How?

Edie: I just wanted him to prove he cared like he said, or show me that it was just bullshit

Moses: What have you done?

Edie: Nothing, I just wanted to know if guilt money was all there was

Moses: Where’s the shame in that? Tell me what happened

Edie: I said if he meant it he’d come and look after us all

Edie: obviously that weren’t going to happen but it freaked him out that I said it

Moses: And you meant to put the wind up him, nothing else was meant by it

Edie: I’d have to be an idiot to think otherwise

Moses: He’d think you might be, he thinks I am sure enough

Edie: I just want everyone to be happy

Moses: He’s in no position to make anyone happy, he’s the eejit

Edie: I suppose so

Moses: I’m not giving out brownie points for your supposing he could take my place

Edie: It wasn’t like that

Moses: What was it like, hmm?

Edie: You know how badly I miss you when you’re away

Moses: He ain’t a cure, got that?

Edie: Nothing is

Moses: I’m it

Moses: what I offer you nobody else can

Edie: Then give it to me, don’t leave me wanting

Moses: Aren’t I waiting for you right now?

Edie: You’re the one in control

Moses: So do as you’re told

Edie: Tell me again

Moses: Come here

Edie: [time to talk to your mother and convince her you need to visit him rn immediately]

Edie: Okay, did it

Moses: I knew you’d convince her of what’s best

Edie: I feel like I can’t remember when I last saw you, how I’m meant to act around you

Moses: [tell her but as per get some of the details wrong whether that’s the when or the where you’re mixing up with another time or something else, we know what I’m saying]

Edie: [counter with another time, a happy mem of some description like that covers the bits he got wrong there]

Moses: [remind her how she used to act around you when she was younger as if that’s the appropriate way for her to still behave, giving the tongue biting story with the vibes but slightly less blatant]

Edie: You’re the cutest daddy in the whole wide world

Edie: you remember so much

Moses: You’re all I think of, I told you

Edie: I’m going to attach myself to you how I used to, so you can’t move without me

Moses: When’s she bringing you?

Edie: When she’s finished [whatever your mother is in the middle of doing, who can say]

Moses: Good, well done

Edie: I just wanna make you proud

Moses: There’s no prouder daddy around

Edie: You won’t be able to stand it

Moses: I’ll stand tall showing you off

Edie: As long as I can hide in your chest

Moses: I won’t control your every move, I know you’re shy

Edie: I just don’t know what to do when men look at me

Moses: You’re to tell me and I’ll handle it any time but this

Edie: You can show me off, it’s what you want, you’re to have it

Moses: I want you, I don’t care about nothing else

Edie: My bags still packed

Moses: Be worth the wait

Edie: Have you been thinking about me as much as I’ve been thinking about you

Moses: We both know the answer to that

Edie: I need the answer to be yes, so I can picture it

Moses: Plenty of nights I’m kept up and don’t sleep for thinking of you

Edie: Must be me thinking of you, using my powers to stop you from leaving me awake without you

Moses: You would

Edie: I will

Moses: Not if I use mine to get you to sleep

Edie: It takes more these days

Moses: I’ll give you more, what you need

Edie: You know

Moses: Everything, baby, guarantee you that

Edie: I’m not going to make it to [where he is]

Moses: You’ve no say, I need you to

Edie: Where do you want me, daddy?

Moses: Never out my sight

Edie: Keep hold of me

Moses: Against me, where you should always be

Edie: Your body is so strong and hard, I feel like I could dissolve into you

Moses: You’re part of it

Edie: All your softness, for you to love and keep safe

Moses: That you are, I couldn’t show no softness ‘til I had you

Edie: You’d never hurt me, you’re so careful

Moses: I’d break you if I weren’t

Edie: I’m not frightened

Moses: You don’t need to be

Edie: You need me, so you can put all your love somewhere

Moses: Yeah

Edie: You don’t need to be frightened either, I promise

Moses: I’m not neither

Edie: You’ll stay, once I give all of me to you

Moses: I’m your daddy there’s no getting rid

Edie: Want me this much, every day

Moses: I couldn’t want you more or less, it’s only ever this much

Edie: No one else could do this to me, I’m made for you

Moses: All my love because I made you with it

Edie: It’s for me, stop giving it to people who don’t deserve you

Moses: I told your mammy I’d stop, no more women is what I said

Edie: She’s the only one I’ll share with, and my brothers and sisters

Moses: And she don’t want none of me now he’s back

Edie: Never say never

Edie: I remember how it was

Moses: You weren’t born for how they were together

Edie: Will you tell me, how you put me inside mammy

Moses: I had to, it was like god was telling me or something, and sure I don’t really believe in him even but I know I couldn’t help myself

Edie: She pulls you in, I’ve seen, you’re not meant to pull away from that

Edie: Push through until you find God, find me

Moses: That’s how it was, true enough

Edie: Will she join us

Edie: or is she lost forever

Moses: You’ll have to use your sight again

Edie: I’ve thought of her, maybe I keep her awake too

Edie: being her, being inside her, you, everywhere

Moses: I remember how she looked when you were, best she could’ve ever had

Edie: That’s my favourite time to think about, being between you, safe and sound, all the feral fucking I know happened with me right there

Moses: You’re not to let them words out of your mouth in front of her, she’ll reckon I fed them to you

Edie: But you didn’t, this is how I feel, I’ve felt like it for as long as I can remember

Moses: I probably am to blame, you think how I do

Edie: I don’t know how to stop it, I can pretend but I can’t make it real

Edie: nothing is as real as this feeling

Moses: You can’t stop yourself being who you’re meant to

Edie: I’m yours and hers and that’s all I want to be, all I want is to be with you both forever

Moses: And you will be

Edie: Make it real, daddy, please, it can’t just be memories I never know if are fully real or my sick head

Moses: There’s nothing wrong with your head, understand that first

Edie: I feel like I’m on fire

Moses: I’ll fix it, don’t I always?

Edie: Say you’ll show me, how I was made

Moses: I can’t make your mammy agree, but I’ll show you

Edie: How your name sounded, forced out of her, she called you daddy like I do, I know that’s real because I couldn’t imagine anything that perfect

Moses: It’s real, you must’ve heard

Edie: I remember banging my head against the door, the same rhythm of the bed hitting the wall

Moses: You used to shake the bars of your cot to be let out too, like I’d put you in a prison instead of a bed

Edie: I wanted to touch you, make you that happy, feel your sticky skin and kiss your mouth to taste hers

Moses: She tastes like [something, idk but you shouldn’t be telling her whatever it is]

Edie: I’m [eating/drinking/whatever to get this taste] right now, I need to

Moses: Your hair feels and smells the same as hers, I’ve thought that before

Edie: I’ll wear it down for you

Moses: What colour have you turned it? Last I saw it was [whatever colour because even at like 12 I’m sure you’ve begun to]

Edie: [I won’t commit us to an era but probably the silver kind of colour but idk]

Edie: I might have it dark like yours soon

Moses: Me and your mammy both expected you to be born with dark hair like mine

Edie: Were you happy or sad?

Moses: I can’t remember feeling sad over anything, I was too happy you were here

Edie: You loved me before you met me, before you and her mixed inside her

Moses: ‘Course, how could I not?

Edie: And there’s nothing I could do or say to make you stop?

Moses: You’re testing us, but no, I don’t reckon I’ve the knowing how to stop

Edie: I want something new to start, you want me to be yours, show me

Moses: You’re new

Edie: Nobody has touched me, I’ve never touched myself to anything but the thought of you and mammy

Moses: When did you start that?

Edie: When did you first touch yourself?

Moses: [not you telling her the story, which I am not committing us to because I’m not a boy and I’m certainly not the kind of boy he is lol so idk how old you’d be, but lord the overshare]

Edie: 🥰🥺 baby daddy

Moses: Now you tell me how old you was

Edie: [tell him, of course, overshare for an overshare]

Moses: Jesus

Edie: Don’t be mad

Moses: All that time but you’ve not let nobody else touch you?

Edie: It’s your fingers I’m dreaming about

Edie: my own already felt like a betrayal but I needed it so badly

Moses: Yours are like hers, she had to touch herself because of me plenty, don’t feel bad for it

Edie: Imagine me and her, waiting for you to take over, side by side

Moses: Do you sound like her too or are yous different?

Edie: I’ve never made a sound, I told you, I couldn’t get caught

Edie: but I’ve memorized her, pitch perfect

Moses: That don’t mean you didn’t wanna, that you never felt them stuck in your throat, you know what kind they’d be

Edie: And I wanted to get caught

Edie: When I could believe that my punishment would be what I was choking over

Moses: Your daddy to catch you

Edie: To see me, fucking myself looking at pictures of him and my mammy

Moses: Send me a picture of you with [whatever this food/drink/thing is] in your mouth

Edie: [do it, with the thing whole/then progressively grosser/messier pics, you know the vibe]

Moses: You’d look nice with your hair dark

Edie: What colour do you like best?

Moses: We could match the colour to your surprise, if you don’t want to keep on looking like me forever

Edie: I want to look like you, I don’t want you to forget I’m your baby

Moses: I’ll never forget you’re mine, neither will you

Edie: You’re not allowed to imagine I’m not your daughter, you have to think about it, how I think about you

Moses: I don’t want to think of someone else, not even your mammy

Edie: Shh, don’t spoil it

Moses: We can’t get spoiled

Edie: I don’t like it when you’re not nice to her

Edie: how is it going to be like before otherwise

Moses: It won’t, it’ll be new, like you said

Edie: But

Moses: And you said you wanted us all to yourself, remember?

Edie: That’s not what I want

Moses: Don’t you?

Edie: It’s gone

Edie: or gone wrong

Moses: What’s wrong? Talk to me

Edie: Forget it, forget about it

Moses: Come on, baby

Edie: I can’t

Moses: You can talk to me

Edie: I don’t know what to say

Moses: Tell me what’s going on inside your head

Edie: All bad, this shouldn’t be happening and I shouldn’t have said any of that, none of it

Moses: You’re not bad, you haven’t done anything that is

Edie: Are you going to tell?

Moses: You’re in no trouble and you’ve caused none

Edie: That’s not an answer

Moses: What’s to tell? We talk all the time, don’t we?

Edie: Not like this, not any longer

Moses: Not if you don’t want to

Edie: We can’t

Moses: I’ve never put my mind to forcing yours

Edie: And I’m not going to make you this person, based on mine

Moses: What person? You’ve the knowing of exactly who I am, better than anyone

Edie: You know what person, but it’s okay

Edie: Nothing happened

Moses: Calm down, you’re gonna upset yourself for nothing

Edie: Nothing, right

Moses: Don’t cry, just relax

Edie: I’m not crying

Moses: You’d say that while you were, I know you too

Edie: I’m sorry

Moses: Quit that, I’ve told you

Edie: I can’t, I have to say something but there’s nothing else I can

Moses: Shut up for a minute and use it to get yourself together, your mammy don’t want you in this state when she finishes her [whatever she’s doing]

Edie: I’m gonna go out instead

Moses: Out where?

Edie: I dunno, but she’s not gonna see me, don’t worry

Moses: Give me nothing to worry on or I’m bound to

Edie: There’s nothing to worry about, this is a good thing

Moses: What?

Edie: Getting out of here, I’m taking time, like you said

Moses: It ain’t good you’ve no destination, trust us, I’ve been there

Edie: I can’t get into any more trouble, that’s impossible

Moses: No it’s not, there’s always more trouble

Edie: Not than this

Moses: When you go looking it’s found, I can’t have you walking the streets

Edie: I won’t, I’ll go see Django

Moses: Give me your word

Edie: Why don’t you believe me, what do you think

Moses: That’s not you promising, give it now

Edie: And you

Moses: I wouldn’t push me, girl

Edie: Where else would I go, what do you imagine I’m gonna go do after that?

Edie: what the fuck

Moses: So fucking promise and I’ll say no more about it

Edie: I promise! Happy?

Moses: What did you have to make me act hard with you for? Are you happy now, god

Edie: You’re meant to, this is how it’s supposed to be

Moses: You’re telling me what I’m meant to do

Edie: No, you just did me

Moses: I’m supposed to do what I want

Edie: No one’s there to stop you

Moses: Rub that in, like

Edie: Go out, do all the things you don’t want me to

Moses: Stop speaking for me or I’ll not speak to yous

Edie: I’m not

Edie: was just a suggestion, I know you, remember

Moses: Your ideas started this

Edie: Ouch

Edie: yeah, okay

Moses: No yeah okay, don’t try and lay the law down like you’re who knows best how things are to go or not go

Edie: I don’t know anything at all, that’s the point, I’m mental, clearly and totally

Moses: I know my own daughter

Edie: Then tell me how to make it right

Moses: It’s done with

Edie: What is?

Moses: We’ll forget it, keep on like we didn’t speak those things to each other

Edie: Will that work?

Moses: Grand, if we want it to

Edie: Okay

Edie: We’ll make it work

Moses: We’ve no other choice, I’ll say again, I’m your daddy you’re not getting rid

Edie: I don’t want to

Moses: I don’t want that either

Edie: Whatever mortifying thing I’ve said, I still don’t want you to go

Moses: I’m going nowhere, I still love you, I’ve told you I won’t stop

Edie: I love you too

Edie: I’m going to do better

Moses: I know

Edie: We can just see each other like normal, how we did last time you were here, right?

Edie: When you’re back

Moses: [the day he’s back as if he’s like yep it’s a date when we ALL know he’ll flake somehow]

Edie: 😊

Edie: Maybe we can go [to a restaurant that’s lowkey not a vibe but the kind of place you’d take children] all of us?

Moses: I’ll get that booked up

Edie: I’ll make you some [again giving a baked thing you would’ve as a child ‘cos he likes ‘em, even if I’m just saying brownies, you get the vibe]

Moses: Sweet of you, been ages

Edie: I’ll get less shell in them now, promise that, like

Moses: Ask your sister to help and you might

Edie: Rude!

Edie: She’s far too busy to make things for you these days

Moses: Ha, you won’t ask her is the truth

Edie: I’d bet you

Moses: How much?

Edie: I’d have to check how much I have 🤔

Moses: [an amount that she probably doesn’t have lbr]

Edie: You think so much of yourself, daddy

Moses: I think what I should of myself

Edie: 😏 Well I can’t back it up with [that amount of cash]

Moses: You’ll find something else to

Edie: Alright, if I win, I get to delete the song I wrote for you

Edie: if you do, I’ll play it for you

Moses: Agreed

Edie: 🤝

Moses: Right, on you go to your brother’s and mind how you do

Edie: I know, I know

Moses: There’s a girl

Edie: Still your girl

Moses: All mine

Edie: Forever and always

Moses: [dip now sir because it’s awks and you would]

Edie: Bye then…

Moses: [the actual heartbreak of him not replying, not having booked this restaurant when the time comes and not being back when he said, again]

Edie: [me here like and this is why she was inappropriate with Johnny and ultimately every father figure she’s had, should I message when it’s that time? Even if you don’t reply, because of course she wouldn’t just let it go unnoted]

Moses: [mhmmmmm, and yes absolutely, go for it boo bear]

Edie: [not a video of you dramatically binning these brownies, no, don’t let ‘em go to waste gurl, not for this flop lmao]

Edie: Enjoy… whatever you’re still doing there, yeah? I mean it

Moses: There was work to be had in [somewhere far in the scheme of how small ireland is and nothing being that far], my daddy asked for me, I couldn’t tell him no

Edie: When?

Edie: Why do you not just tell me these things?

Moses: It was late notice for me too, age’s slowing him down he can’t take on the same jobs he used to on his own

Edie: I just wish I knew before I was waiting, that’s all

Moses: If it could be avoided, I would

Edie: What’s the job?

Moses: [tell her idk what you do, but I’m imagining this is big and long, giving that you’ll be away ages, bringing up to date with where jali are and potentially way past it too cos we said not a big gap]

Edie: Busy, busy

Moses: I would’ve said had you not beat us to it, like

Edie: I’ll leave you to it then, again

Moses: Good girl

Edie: How can I be anything but

Moses: What you talking about?

Edie: There’s no parenting you can do that busy or that far away

Moses: That’s no threat you should be throwing my way, however far or busy I am

Edie: It’s no threat

Moses: You’d hurt yourself before you hurt me

Edie: That’s how it’s always been

Moses: Don’t make me out to sound like that, it’d give me no pleasure to see you get yourself in a state

Edie: You aren’t here, you don’t see it

Moses: I still feel it, you know

Edie: I’m not saying sorry for it this time

Moses: Why? It isn’t my fault I’m needed here

Edie: You should still have to feel it with me

Moses: I feel everything with you, don’t I?

Edie: Do you?

Moses: Baby, please

Edie: I don’t know how much longer I can do this

Moses: Come on

Edie: I love you so much but it’s not enough

Moses: No fucking buts, you love me and I should be enough for you

Edie: It’s me who’s not enough for you, ever

Moses: Who’s ever said it, not me

Edie: You don’t want to be saying anything

Moses: That’s not true

Edie: Just don’t promise me things, I’ll see you when I do, it’s okay, you don’t know when that is

Moses: You’re the reason I get up, put myself to bed to do it all again and for all else what happens in between, you

Edie: I need to be in your life more, for all that to matter, so you can see that it does

Moses: When I’m back, I’ll stay, the cash from this means I can

Edie: That’s too close to a promise, daddy

Moses: [tell her how much you’re getting paid like I really mean it this time okay]

Moses: wait one last time and it’ll be the last time I ask you to

Edie: Wow

Edie: what are you going to buy?

Moses: That’s a surprise, I told you I had a big present planned

Edie: Not THAT big

Moses: I can’t wait for your face

Edie: Do I get a clue?

Moses: You’ll find you have the space to sing the song you owe without feeling shy

Edie: Now how did you know Rih helped me with those brownies?

Moses: Because she did, she would

Edie: Junior will probably eat those out the bin

Moses: His daddy would too

Edie: Awh, that would be quite sweet

Moses: You’re sweet, my jaw aches knowing the smile you’ll wear when I give you your present

Edie: Is it my birthday present?

Moses: It might be, unless I’m home earlier

Edie: I might have another song by then for you

Moses: Angry song, is it?

Edie: No

Edie: I don’t know how it will make you feel but we’ll see together

Moses: Sing me something else ‘til then, I miss you now

Edie: [record him a voice note of you singing some song you know he likes or liked back in the day at least because you can’t be throwing out your own songs yet]

Moses: [do a childhood mem of hers that’s associated with said song but actually get the details right this once]

Edie: That’s exactly when I was thinking of too

Moses: You took us right there

Edie: Maybe that’s another power of mine

Edie: I hope so

Moses: You’re so special, has to be

Moses: I’m gonna listen every night I’m away

Edie: I’ll do you a proper cover, a better one

Moses: I want this one

Edie: I’ll sing for you whenever you ask

Moses: You’ll lose your voice all together if I ask every time I’m after hearing you

Edie: I’ll stop talking, problem solved

Edie: I only want to talk to you right now

Moses: Say it’s enough

Edie: It’s enough, I never meant what you thought I meant, I promise

Moses: You can’t leave me like that

Edie: I can’t leave you, end of sentence

Moses: I’d be lost, more than a voice gone

Edie: I will never let that happen

Edie: I can’t lose you

Moses: Keep sight of us

Edie: I hate fighting with you, I never want to

Moses: [tell her about all the drinking and lbr probs drugs too you did to forget it like it’s a brag how much you could and feelsy how much you had to and not once again inappropriate to be sharing this]

Edie: Does your head ache as well as your jaw? 😔

Moses: It did but I feel better for talking to you

Edie: What does [a drug he mentioned there] feel like?

Moses: [obvs tell her with 0 hesitation, as much as you can really sum up or describe things like that, going into too much detail about things you absolutely should not as per because a lot of drugs make people horny we all know]

Edie: Interesting

Edie: Can I try some?

Moses: For your birthday, a tiny bit

Edie: You’ll have to be the responsible one, watch me

Moses: I won’t take my eyes off you

Edie: You never do

Moses: But I’ll not even blink, my eyes’ll ache for you

Edie: I can’t even picture a party and the room full of people now, only you

Edie: your eyes

Moses: We’ll dance to [the song she sang]

Edie: You can spin me around until everything else blurs and doesn’t matter at all

Moses: ‘Til it don’t feel real, only I do, holding you up

Edie: You’re so real, you burn the brightest in my head, I never forget things when you’re there

Moses: Your heart won’t have beat faster before

Edie: You won’t let me be scared, not for a second

Moses: The good kind, just for a second

Edie: I want that

Moses: You’ll have it

Edie: You won’t miss my birthday

Moses: You don’t trust my promises no more, what can I say that you’ll believe?

Edie: I do, it wasn’t a question, a reminder to myself

Moses: I’ll be there to crown you, it’s our tradition

Edie: No one else is capable or allowed

Edie: You’re the only king I know

Moses: I’m only yours

Edie: No other princesses?

Moses: No sharing on your birthday

Edie: And no one else is allowed to blow out my candles

Moses: Who’d try and steal your wish? You deserve it

Edie: Someone who knows what I want, maybe

Edie: but no one does

Moses: [reminisce about when you took this gal to a bday party and literally let her do that because you would], deserved it then too

Edie: The kid was devvo’d still but their mammy got over it quick enough

Moses: What did you wish for on those candles? I reckon it’s been long enough you can tell

Edie: [whatever it was, which I know involves him somehow, this has always been how it is]

Moses: [talk about how it came true because of whatever he did even if it wasn’t at all like her actual wish because you’re that bitch]

Edie: You’re your own kind of magic, daddy

Moses: All my love needs to find its way to you

Edie: [a selfie of you holding your hand to your cheek like you just caught a blown kiss]

Moses: [something about her hair, whether it’s the same as the last time she sent him a pic or different, giving a very childlike yet inappropriate colour related compliment I imagine]

Moses: does it taste of [something vaguely that colour]?

Edie: [a quick vid of you biting a strand of your hair, before sucking it through your lips, brushing your tongue over it like you’re really pondering that even though obviously not lol]

Moses: Well, what’s the answer?

Edie: It still tastes like [what he said hers and Ali’s hair smelt like, which must be their shampoo or something like that]

Edie: but I’ll let you see, when I change it for my birthday

Moses: You’ll show me

Edie: You can try, when no one’s watching, it tickles though, be warned

Moses: I’m used to that from you already

Edie: I only do it on purpose like half the time

Moses: I know all about how you can’t be still unless I make you

Edie: I miss your body, laying all over it

Moses: It misses you, I want you there again

Edie: You’re owed so much sleep, I know

Edie: when you’re finished working, we’ll get in bed together and not leave

Moses: For how long?

Edie: Hmm

Edie: Until I’m 14?

Moses: And then what are we gonna do?

Edie: Whatever we want

Moses: I want you to [describing how I, as a baby, used to walk up and down on my dad’s chest and stomach like I was doing a lil moon landing as he held my hands, I don’t know how to properly describe it hence the brackets and soz to my actual daddy for corrupting this wholesome activity but well]

Edie: 👩🏼‍🚀🌑

Edie: What if I crush you by mistake?

Moses: How would you?

Moses: [not you sending a pic to show off those specific muscles rn, not this]

Edie: Jesus

Moses: You don’t hate us working as much now, do you?

Edie: You need to be working where I can keep my eyes on you

Moses: I’ll build you a [something like a tree house or sand pit she either is too old for or would already have or something frankly ludicrous like him saying he’ll dig an outdoor pool in ireland in october, either way] and you can watch me

Edie: How many hours do you work a day?

Moses: [obvs tell her idk but we all know that you do work hard that’s one thing about you]

Edie: That might do, yeah

Moses: Oh it might, yeah?

Edie: Can’t work you to death, you’re a man, sure, not a horse

Moses: [talk about when you were a horse for her because I was too scared to be doing that as a bub but kids do with their dads]

Edie: [tell him what his horse name was lmao because she is a bit of a horse girl so here we are], remember?

Moses: Do you want a real horse? I’ll let you call the animal something different if needs

Edie: Really, really really?!

Moses: Sure, now you’re older I won’t worry myself over you falling off

Edie: And this is no my surprise?

Moses: I’ve just this minute thought of it

Edie: I love you so much, I’m going to scream

Moses: Your grandaddy owes us a horse for his working me like one, he’ll sort that

Edie: How do I say thank you to him? I don’t know what he likes, not like you

Moses: We’ll both of us take a shot of [whatever this man drinks because why not you’ve already offered her drugs] with him, he’ll reckon you’re funny to watch

Edie: Funny, I can be funny

Edie: does he love me?

Moses: You’ll have to ask him, that’ll be funny for me

Edie: I only know Ronan, really

Edie: tell me about the rest of your family again

Moses: I’ll teach you what to say to make him love you in the language wes have got

Edie: Mammy can do that

Edie: I want to know too, all the good words

Moses: [do teach her something cheeky that’ll make this wrong’un dad lol and obvs tell her about him and the rest of your fam as well and what you wanted to name her if she was a boy, god knows there because there are some names and a half, Duke maybe it’s giving princess vibes which was your girl pick]

Edie: [send him your attempts at practising this phrase]

Edie: I’ll make them all love me, even though I’m not a boy

Moses: My mammy maybe not but you don’t really need to bother yourself with her

Edie: That’s okay, you get to pick who and how much

Edie: because all of my love is yours

Moses: Love me most and I’ll not care who’s 3rd after your mammy

Edie: I wish I could marry you, like I thought I could when I was wee

Moses: You had a dress that was so like for a wedding

Edie: I bet it’s somewhere in dressing up

Edie: I’ll put it on for you

Moses: I don’t know that you’ll fit, but find it out for me still

Edie: I’ll see how much or little of me fits

Edie: it’s [the dress he’s talking about, of course] right?

Moses: [send her a pic of her wearing it for ref that you just have because you’d have loads of pics of her on your phone of all ages, you’re that dad, Ali sending them like remember your child you haven’t seen in forever]

Edie: I really am your favourite

Edie: I know we still have it here somewhere

Moses: [just sending her other pics as you shamelessly scroll through them all]

Edie: I’ve an album of pictures of you too, I’ve stalked you from before I was born, all your profiles

Moses: What’s your favourite one?

Edie: That depends on so many things

Moses: This second, gun to your head

Edie: [a picture that’s not only recent but a shameless thirst trap because we know what sort of mood we’re in right this second]

Moses: [not you basically taking one for her rn immediately as if she needs a more recent and more thirst trap-y pic and posting it for her to see]

Edie: [not you sliding into his DMs immediately because no fucks given ‘my daddy makes me wet’ in this convo like you never so casual]

Moses: [replying with 🍼💦 like you’re her age and because she’s both thirsty for you and your actual baby, and thank the lord I don’t think a nappy emoji exists or the heathens would be popping off]

Edie: [carrrying on like this is flirty banter with a random ‘🤤 in my mouth immediately thanks’]

Moses: [🤤👍 like he’s giving her his thumb to suck]

Edie: [sending a pic of you sucking your own but both thumbs like that’s more accurate to the experience]

Moses: [doing the eyes emoji like when he said he would not blink because ofc cannot stop looking at it, call the police]

Edie: [resending the pics of you with the food/drink/whatever in your mouth like remember when you asked me to do this]

Moses: [a pic of his lap like he just wants her to sit in it and he isn’t a blatantly turned on fully grown man in said image]

Edie: [no other way to describe this but a vid of her sitting down on this phone as slowly as possible about it, letting him see as much as he can with underwear still on, because obviously trying on this miniscule dress rn]

Moses: [🤗 to signify pulling her down and holding her in his lap how he would]

Edie: [back in this chat because again, we don’t care]

Edie: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

Moses: [saying his horse name again, whatever that was]

Edie: You’ll teach me how to, no saddle

Moses: It’s easy, you’ll learn quick once I’ve shown you

Edie: I just pull your hair the opposite way to where I wanna go, right?

Moses: Exactly right

Edie: and kick you in the side when I wanna go faster

Moses: But you need to go slow at first, careful

Edie: You still worry

Moses: I don’t want you hurt, it’s meant to be fun

Edie: [send him another pic of this dress not fitting in a different way]

Edie: I’m having fun, aren’t you?

Moses: Fuck

Edie: I’ll wear this for you

Moses: Post it to me, I need it

Edie: You do, you’re away so long this time

Moses: And that’ll feel longer now, harder to be away

Edie: I’ll send it, I’ll think of more things you need to keep you from missing me too bad

Moses: A care package suits, for all your love

Edie: If I write you a letter, will you read it?

Moses: I might eat it, but only after

Edie: Film that

Moses: [filming himself now, as if he’s practising and not just showing her how feral he’s being on this day]

Edie: Maybe I’ll put it to one of my songs

Moses: I’ll have you try and sing one as you’re riding, see how far you get and what that sounds like

Edie: This is going to be the best birthday ever

Moses: Be my turn to for the happy birthday song

Edie: You’re going to be Jesus’ age

Moses: Am I?

Edie: There’s 20 years and 27 days exactly between us

Moses: What’s your sight tell you about those numbers?

2 notes · View notes

21witnokidz · 1 year ago

Text

IN THE GHETTO

Chapter 24

When Arthur came back he made a signal to follow him.

“I know we were planning to leave Micah in strawberry but Dutch wants us to go get him”

“Oh my god-“ you threw your hands up getting ready to complain before Arthur interrupted.

“Trust me I know which is why I’m bringing you with me because if it was just me I would just kidnap someone who looks like Micah and pray Dutch doesn’t notice”

Upon you and Arthur’s arrival to strawberry you hear the sound of Micah’s voice coming from behind the jail.

“Oh my god Morgan am I glad to see you-“ Micah began to feel hopeful having seeing Arthur before he noticed you were behind him “oh godammit did you have to bring your filly with you? You just can’t go anywhere without him can you y/n?”

“Yea never mind arthur let’s just go with that plan of yours” you whispered in his ear.

He just patted your shoulder before micah instructed him to blow up the wall that was containing him.

Upon hearing the explosion every single lawmen residing in the town of Strawberry came running out.

“Godamnit Bell!” You yelled.

While you and Arthur tried to hold fight the police off Micah headed to a shack to retrieve his guns.

“Arthur this will be my first and last time saying this but I thank you. Y/n, you’ve been promoted from bitch to wrench. I’ll see you two at camp”

And with that he rode off.

Back at camp you were playing dominoes with young Lenny.

“Y/n do you think we could go to town and do something. I’m getting tired of just lying around and washing clothes”

“Ooh so you’re ready to get promoted to gunslinger? I know how you feel. When I was just a little girl I always wanted to go out and cause trouble with the guys”

You put on your hat and started making your way to the horses.

“Pearson me and Ms. Adler are going out!”

“What? I thought you and Morgan were going strong again?”

“Not like that you dimwit. Do you need anything from the store?”

Pearson gave you a shopping list with supplies for the camp and a letter he needed to be mailed. You thought it’s be best to take the wagon since the list Pearson gave you wasn’t so short.

“So how you been holdin up? You ready to rat the gang out and collect our bounties yet?”

“Nah it ain’t so bad here. But if I were to turn you guys in I think I’d spare you” Sadie laughed.

When you and Sadie made it to the general store she was ready to pull her gun out.

“Put that thing away are you stupid?” You hissed.

“I thought we was outlaws?”

“No. I’m an outlaw. And until you learn how to use that thing properly you’re just a girl who cleans up and complains around camp” you lowered her gun.

“My my… and here I thought you’d be on my side. Well now I think I might as well just turn you in with the rest of ‘em”

You were gonna say something put decided to keep your mouth shut. You didn’t have time for arguing especially since you wanted to just get back and be with Arthur.

When you returned to the horse you found Sadie had changed out of that dress and into a proper gunslinger outfit.

“Well?” She asked.

“You remind me of myself when I was younger” you shook your head “maybe a little less dramatic but that’s a story for another time”

You and Sadie had just made it back and dinner was being served.

You saw Arthur and John sitting around a table with drinks in their hands laughing about something so you went to join them.

“Oh Y/n. You won’t believe it so when you and Adler were out me and John went to rob a stagecoach for fun-“ Arthur started.

“and then when” John continued before Arthur shut him down. “No let me tell the story it’ll be funnier that way”

“You’re just gonna make me look bad” he whined.

“Anyway the couple inside the stagecoach just wouldn’t open up the door and so we ripped the door open and they were on top of each other naked! And when John saw the girl without her clothes on and shrieked and fell to the floor!” Arthur fell into a heap of laughter, banging the table in front of him.

“Damn John even when you have a child you’re still not used to seeing a girl naked?” You asked going to sit on Arthur’s lap.

“Shut your mouth!” John went up to grab another beer.

“How are ya darlin’” Arthur asked after calming down.

“Good. I think we oughtta get Sadie some guns she’s got no use being cooped up here”

“Whatya mean?”

“As soon as we went inside the general store she was immediately ready to rob the cashier. I’m telling you Arthur, she yearns for it”

The broad man just laughed and began kissing on your neck.

“Arthur?” you dragged his name out.

You could tell by the way he was chuckling to himself he was obviously drunk. You decided it was time for him to go to bed. It was time for you too.

You got up from his lap and grabbed his hand.

“Noooot so fast sugar. You know what I want” he protested.

“I know and I’ll give it to you as long as you promise to follow me”

You gently lead him to your shared tent and on to the cot. And just as you hoped Arthur knocked himself out as soon as he hit the bed.

You took off his boots and then yours. Not bothering to change into anything appropriate for sleep you curled into his side and drifted off.

#arthur morgan x reader #rdr2 x reader #arthur morgan #red dead redemption x reader #yeehaw

10 notes · View notes

soir-rouges-esprit · 2 months ago

Text

xxxii.b: The Mind, I make it through and then … horror … WHAT THE FUCK!? ... What was on the other side was a bunch of … dead … Reds … they were sitting in a pool of blood somewhat aged but not completely dried yet, about ten to fifteen of them. I stare and walk backward in shock. *Tmpf* *CLANG* I freak out and jump in fear, I had walked into an old empty yellow propane tank … it hit the ground and I once again … was left in shock. I gather myself slowly … then *breath* … ok. I walk over to one of the many work benches and shelves and start to look for the relay that was needed for The Ship. I look and look … nothing, fucking nothing FUCKIN WHAT!?? Where was it!? The fucking Relay is supposed to be in here! It was supposed to be … goddamn it, does no one keep valid fucking records in here? I let out a large *sigh* and then proceeded to one of the computers, I logged into it easily, as someone had just left the password out in the open on the fucking desk, written on a sticky that was a little … worn? I get in and sift through what had to be hundreds of thousands of records … all incredibly sorted day after day, week after week, month after … and so on. As I do I find that there are no real communication units here anymore. What? How is that even possible, last one was … January of last year? What!? That’s not what the records I found had said!? Where could … they be … as I sift and sift … I realize that these units were made to order … they were not, In stock … as previously thought … fuck me. So they aren’t even made yet then, damn it! … Wrath ain’t gonna like this one. I try and find any details on the new ones being made, and well … after some digging I get some files that describe them as being shipped already. *SLAM* DAMN IT!!! … *Sigh* fuck me how could this slip under my damn radar … oh right … we didn’t fucking have any for a long while, That’s right I MADE THE BEST WITH WHAT I HAD AND STILL GOT HERE … No one can do anything around here can they? I haste through some more records and realize the factory is somewhat automated … which means that they had to have some kind of process to just make a relay at the push of a button. I go and find the local actions log, to see if this was the computer to do all of that from … and … no, but it did have a log for other local computers also in the network, only a few actually, so they must have been the other main computers … all with nothing really striking in terms of information, which was … a shame … but then there was a log for computer FCM-2 … it had a bunch of analog inputs logged and some information on everything those fucking inputs were doing … such as … starting the relay production process. BINGO!!!! HAHA! … there it is. There were no direct details on where that computer was, but I could guess roughly … I logged out and made my way past the bodies and through the door, and as I walked through the cubicles again I heard suddenly the door I entered from originally open as well some voices. I JOLT DOWN, And hide behind a few cubicle walls … peaking my head over slightly, as to see who the fuck I was dealing with. It was two Shards … wearing baggy pants and shitty t-shirts that read with some stupid shit on them such as “If Jesus were Mexican he’d turn water to Tequila” and “Cooking and Cleaning isn’t a Relationship green flag, it’s something you should be able to do.” … they opened there fuckin filthy mouths as I slowly lurched my way around the cubicles, trying to navigate closer to the door. “If they wanted something … they’d come and get it … plain and simple” “That’s what I told him, but you know him … never listening and never giving into the facts at hand … shameful fuck.” I think to myself, what a disgusting lot of shit. They walked passed me and the cubicle I was hiding behind, I quickly made haste moving from cubicle to cubicle like a mouse in a maze. [To Be Continued]

#creative writing #writing #original story #Mind

1 note · View note

bcnooneasked · 3 months ago

Text

09/06/24 - 1:32am - in bed “gut, p, and my man, my man, my man”

so day 2 of a bone broth fast is over and it’s crazy how out of touch i was with my body. like i knew i was out of whack but i really had no idea to what extent.

it really is true that a upset gut bacteria can cause upset in your mind and life.

like i can’t wait to see how i’ll feel tomorrow.

sometimes when i eat the wrong thing it will l give me a headache and this was no different. i literally couldn’t get rid of my headache. it started binging on a pizza - definitely emotional eating for sure. i had just weighed in using the scale at work and 3 lbs of fat down and 3 pounds of muscle up.

like i have been fighting fasting for so long because i truly really do love food, but with the help of a lil bone broth, soda water, and kombucha i really be making it through. lots of salt in the water, and maybe a celsius or pre-workout today in the gym bc i am very much so not working out fasted but tbh i really pushed myself with weight and felt great!

i was there for almost 2 hrs… that’s not normal for me much anymore as i usual;y stick to just 1 hour or so but i spent time lifting and then i also did a little sauna and also some fascia stuff i think it’s called - massaging my muscles with a lil stainless steel gua sha lil thing. sweat is the lubricant during those massages and it might be in my head but they also might help break down fat for fat loss? idk in my head i’m beating them fat cells tf up lol.

also ugh there were some cuties up in the gym late at night. i’m def trying to not be too of a horny diva but when i say i miss dick i mean it with my chest. give me a big ol man rn. big. masculine, someone i respect, someone who rides for me, someone who teaches me, someone i look up to

i have been thinking lately i def do have daddy issues like i can’t ever be in love with someone who is a child. like i get the ick so dang quick when they try me like that. i get disgusted at someone not being impressive. i need to be enamored by you. i need to feel magnetic with you. i need electricity. i need you to push me to be a better person.

but he gotta be a masculine mf. i think i have in the past tried being with my more feminine sisters but like damn, i just wanna be like yea sis hey diva kitty gurl the house down boots with them,

it just ain’t cute. not for my forever man. no one needs to be my forever man besides that one dude and that’s why i think dating a waste. all i need is one good one and i trust and believe if i vibrate myself right, if i gravitate to godly good energy, if i lead with love, if i heal my bs, if i am the best most relationally healed self he worn’t be afraid to say hello, or maybe i say hello too but we won’t be able to deny our connection. every other relationship i’ll look back on and feel stupid for ever thinking that is what love felt like.

i can’t wait to be held and loved and prosper with him. prosper. heal. the christian in me wants to say praise too because honestly if he gives me a real man of god my pussy gonna praise the lord too.

he will come i just have to continue this fight to be celibate and prepare myself and heal myself of past sexual dysfunction so i can truly be me best self and set up my time with my life partner for success.

ok i need to go to bed but

since i been talking bout my godly pussy i really haven’t felt digestively efficient since i was douching regularly.

like my gut been off fr for a while now. i am solidified in that because even 2 days in and only bone broth and the things mentioned above, i still have bm in me. like i’m trying to play before bed but it’s still there and not glam or easy at all.

but like i can’t truly imagine how long these things been in me. like i truly haven’t felt together in my digestion for a while and i know i keep saying that but i imagine sometimes those things happen. clogs and buidup when your diet isn’t right.

0 notes

therapardalis · 2 years ago

Text

brainbetrayed:

* idiots to lovers romantic starters

also known as rivals to lovers / idiots to idiots but they’re lovers / rivals to besties / rivals to idiots, the list goes on. some of these are inspired by pre-existing media. change pronouns/aggressive terms of endearment/insults as you see fit! these can also be platonic of course!

[Cut for length.]

“i dunno. sometimes i just… feel things when you’re around.”

“i love your ass.”

“your ass is your best quality.”

“i’d tap that.”

“i love you, bitch.”

“do you ever feel… like… you know… things? like… those warm… feelings?”

“oh my god, stop looking at me like that! i’m gonna end up kissing you.”

“sometimes you’re not annoying.”

“you don’t, like… make me wanna tear my eyes out… or whatever.”

“you love me? are you sure?”

“i don’t hate you.”

“shut up and stay. please.”

“i hate when people say shit like ‘you’re my best friend, i love you, i can’t imagine my life without you. i wake up and you’re the first thing on my mind, and the last thing before i go to sleep. suddenly all the love songs make sense.’ you know? i prefer starting it by saying how much i hate when other people say it, then say what i mean anyway. it’s way less embarrassing like that.”

“we aren’t friends. friends don’t do this kinda thing.”

“maybe i don’t wanna be just friends with you.”

“who the fuck said you aren’t funny?”

“who the fuck called you boring?”

“who the fuck said that? you’re great.”

“i don’t think you’re weird. i think you’re cute.”

“i don’t think you’re weird. you’re a dumbass, maybe, but i like that about you.”

“obviously i like you! i’ve been trying to tell you for ages now!”

“i’ve been flirting with you for the last six months, thanks for noticing.”

“some parts of you don’t make a lot of sense to me, but i don’t know why the sky turns pink at sunset and i still think it’s beautiful.”

“i want you. i don’t know why, i can’t explain it, but i just wanna be around you all the time.”

“i woke up one morning and realised i loved you.”

“you’re the worst. i love it.”

“you’re stupid, that’s what you are, buddy.”

“i wouldn’t die for you, but i think i’d kill for you. maybe. but then, that would mean going to jail… nah. i take it back. no offence.”

“did you know when i call you dude i mean it romantically?”

“what are you gonna do? kiss me?”

“you don’t look totally ugly today.”

“you look… never mind. i didn’t say shit!”

“they’re just flowers, don’t read into it.”

“can you please stop moving your mouth so i can kiss you?”

“you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

“i trust you, stupid.”

“i love you, dumbass.”

“you’re a pain in the ass but i’m glad we met.”

“of course i care about what you think of me!”

“you’re looking at me funny.”

“i’m not looking at you funny! this is just how i look at someone i hate.”

“being with you makes me feel like a better person.”

“being with you makes me feel like a better person. i look like an angel compared to you.”

“huh? what was that? are you being nice to me?”

“sorry i made things weird the other day. we can still hang out, right?”

“sorry i kissed you, that was stupid. let’s just forget about it.”

“maybe kissing you was stupid but i don’t regret it.”

“are we hugging right now, bro? is that what we’re doing? do we… keep going? do we stop?”

“i’m not going anywhere.”

“i’m here, aren’t i?”

“this is all your fault!” *it is not*

“you drive me crazy in a way that makes everyone else look boring.”

“i can tell when you’re lying, you know. you ain’t slick.”

#Prompts #Please don't reblog from here without sending one - reblog from the source instead

4K notes · View notes

httpdabi · 3 years ago

Text

Break up

Summary: After having a messed up break up, your best friend Dabi is there to comfort you, and give even more than you asked for.

Word count: 5,2k

Genre: romance, smut, no quirks haha

Warnings: 18+, creampie, public sex, spitting, choking..

,, I fucking hate him’’ you cried loudly, mouth full of ice cream as you talked to your cousin over the phone. At this point you didn’t care of how loud you were, and you didn’t care about the fact that your cousin had a hard time understanding you since you were a crying mess. Sobbing loudly, you ignored the words coming from the other line.

,, That bitch cheated on me with Toga, can you believe that?’’ you sobbed, tears rolling down your cheeks as you wrapped yourself with your favorite comfort blanket.

,, The girlie with weird hair ?’’ your cousin asked in shock.

,,YES, the fuck she thinking she’s the fifth element with that hairstyle?’’ you choked out, throwing the empty package across the room, as your cousin giggled because of your remark. She wished she was closer so she could pay you a visit, but sadly miles and miles were separating the two of you.

Sure, the first person you wanted to inform about your breakup was Touya, but you couldn’t force yourself to bother him, knowing he’s probably on work. You knew very well that he would drop everything and come over, saying how he doesn’t feel well or some other shit, and you didn’t want that.

After the call ended, you stood up, ignoring your reflection on the window, knowing very well that you look like shit right now with all the smudged mascara over your face. Tears started rolling down your cheeks even more when you saw that there’s no ice cram anymore. What did you do to deserve such a torture.

Wearing your hoodie, you made your way toward the nearest store, ignoring the people that were giving you weird stares because of your silly Sailor Moon pajama shorts. You couldn’t care less of what anyone thought in that moment.

You went to the store with the intention to buy ice cream, only to end up in the part of it with variant different choices of hairdye. So many ideas were going thru your mind, as you looked all over it. You almost ended up buying the pink dye and some bleach, until you saw scissors hanging beside the bleach.

Grabbing the scissors only, you hurried up to pay everything you chose, rolling your eyes shamelessly as you saw Rumi, the cashier of the fucking day. For some weird reason, you almost hated the muscular bitch. Maybe it was because she never had the exchange to give you back, giving you a pack of gums instead. Maybe it was because of her attitude, always giving you some smart comments, how your skirt is too short, how there are kids here, or even because she always rolled her eyes when she saw you coming in.

,, Looks like someone had a rough day’’ she commented sarcastically, as you gave your best to keep calm and ignore her. After the comment, she shut her mouth and did her job.

,, Sweetie, can you help?’’ she asked, suddenly with a cute tone, when her co-worker asked her to bring him few paper bags that were beside her.

,, No, you are doing great’’ you spat, grabbing all of the items as you hurried out of the store. The fuck would you help her? She’s getting paid for it, not you. Stupid bitch.

Placing the ice cream into the freezer, you immediately made your way to the toilet as you unpacked the scissors almost aggressively. Why would you dye and ruin your hair with bleach, when you could just cut off a bit of your hair, which meant the exact length of his dick.

Your hair was already long, and the fact that his dick wasn’t that big meant that you would only cut few inches. After short calculating, you grabbed the scissors, as you turned some silly tutorial on Youtube. Watching yourself in the mirror, you cried even harder, not because you regretted your decision. It was more because you looked like a lunatic.

After you finished, you immediately washed your face, cleaning all the ruined make up. Sure it didn’t look like a professional person did your hairstyle, but it didn’t look bad either, in fact, you liked it.

Since you weren’t in the mood to do your make up, you only put a bit of face cream over your face, and bit of mascara to make your eyes pop up a bit, before you took few selfies to post on instagram.

You were too lazy to do it, all you wanted to do in the moment was cry some more and eat ice cream you just bought, while watching something on Netflix. But you had to do it, you had to embarrass him as much he embarrassed you.

,, Not gonna miss those 5 inches, Kai.’’

You wrote, laughing ironically at the caption under your selfie. It wasn’t the best selfie you ever took, but at least you didn’t look like you were suffering because of the breakup, and the much shorter hair was visible on it.

[cyxnaf] Touya Todoroki

,, What happened?’’

It wasn’t even a minute since you posted your photo on the instagram, and your best friend already messaged you there.

Bitch cheated on me

You replied, sending him a crying selfie, with a spoon in your mouth.

[cyxnaf] Touya Todoroki

I’ll be there in 15 mins

A smile crept on your face, as you read his message. You loved him more than anyone or anything else on the whole word. If it was someone else coming over, you would probably force yourself and clean the apartment. But since it was Dabi, you didn’t give a shit.

The moment he arrived, you started bawling your eyes out. Having a face to face conversation with someone, talking about the break up made your feelings awake again. Dabi in other hand tried to make you feel better, bringing you your favorite snacks, and trying to put Kai down.

,, I’ve never had drama, unless it’s with my inner self’’ you cried loudly. ,, And all of sudden, I’m being cheated on.’’ Adding you grabbed the chips from the paper bag and opened it almost aggressively. Touya laughed you out, pointing every drama you’ve been connected to.

,, Stop it, you’re supposed to make me feel better’’ you slapped his arm lightly, as he talked about the drama that happened back in high school, when you got into a huge fight with a girl that called your dog a rat.

Once Touya realized that your mood was only getting worse, he turned some documentary on Netlfix that he started watching few days ago, explaining everything about it to you. You couldn’t help but smile, as you listened to him explaining every small thing, making sure you won’t be confused once he plays the episode.

,, You only watched few episodes of one murder documentary and you think you’re Mr. worldwide intellectual.’’ You laughed, as he tried to explain professionally.

,, The fuck you talking about ? The only documentary you watch is Keeping up with the Kardashians, so shut the fuck up’’ he spat, rolling his eyes playfully as he played the documentary.

The thing he played was about some murder, nothing you would watch on your own, but you didn’t mind. Seeing him talk about it so excitedly made your heart warm and in that moment you didn’t care if you won’t be able to sleep next few days.

You always loved spending your time with Touya, you simply loved how even when none of you had something to say, the silence was never uncomfortable. Even just sitting with him was making you feel safe.

,, You really choped your hair’’ he said, as he started to play with your hair. Being tired from all the crying and with his gentle movements, you were not capable of replying, simply nodding your head in response.

,, It looks good on you’’ Touya complimented you, placing a soft kiss on top of your head. He noticed that you were zooming out, so he just continued to caress your, helping you fall asleep.

All the horrible thoughts he had washed away, once he saw your sleeping face. He could only smile to himself as he noticed how puffy your face got from all the crying. Sure, it wasn’t that visible, but he simply noticed it and found it more then cute.

He tried to act calm and suppress his feelings, he tried to be there for you, but when you talked about what happened, all he wanted to do was find that piece of shit of your ex and simply kill him. He couldn’t understand how did you always manage to find some weird boyfriends that didn’t appreciate and treat you as you deserved.

If you only gave him a chance, he would always be there for you, he would simply give you anything you wished for. Touya never understood how could you be so blind, never once did you notice his feelings for you. Never once did you question his behavior.

Every time you called him over, he would ditch all his plans and run to you. Every time you needed something, you knew very well that only Touya will help you 100%.

You woke up in your bedroom, a little bit confused about what time it was and if your best friend was still there. Taking your phone to check what time it is, your eyes widened when you saw a Instagram notification from Kai. That piece of shit had balls to like your photo.

Throwing your phone away, you started crying again, wishing the day you met him never happened. You wished you listened to your best friend when he told you that Chisaki ain’t the one for you.

,, You ok?’’ you heard Touya’s voice under the loud TV noise. In just a second he was beside you, warming your body with his own and wrapping his arms around you, telling you how everything is ok and how he’s there for you.

,, Come on, stand up’’ Touya commanded suddenly, forcing your upper body up. ,, We are leaving’’ he added, forcing you out of the bed. You were too confused to even think at that very moment, but you found yourself following his lead. Wearing one of your very oversized shirt that covered more than enough, you hurried out of your bedroom to Toyua who was waiting for you already all ready.

You didn’t know what was happening, and the pack of eggs in his hand was confusing the shit out of you, yet you found yourself in the passenger seat, doing whatever Touya planned at that moment.

,, Where are we going ?’’ you asked, tears long gone.

,, We’re egging his car’’ he said, as your eyes widened in shock.

,, Is that even legal?’’ you asked again, already all excited about it.

,, Nope’’ Touya laughed out, focused on the road. You were sure that Kai would know it was you, definitely. But he also won’t have balls to call the police on you, since you knew about all his dirty deeds, you knew about all the drugs he’s taking and having hidden somewhere in his house.

Kai didn’t live far away from you, so in only few minutes of drive the two of you found yourself in front of his car. Lighting one cigarette, Dabi took the paper that was placed on the windshield.

,, Stop perking on my spot’’ Dabi read out loud, pointing out the word he wrote wrongly. You laughed loudly as you remembered about Kai telling you about some dude parking his Motorcycle in front of his car, making it hard to get out of the spot for him.

,, He can’t write, but he can do meth I guess’’ you laughed, as Touya puffed on his cigarette.

You stood there close to Kai’s car, as you waited for your best friend to finish his cigarette. It was a quiet night, with no people around at all. Maybe it was the adrenaline that was rushing in your blood, or the fact that you spent all day crying like a mad person, but in that very moment all you felt was anger as you thought about your ex.

,,Here’’ Touya gave you the package, still smoking that cigarette. You weren’t sure if he took his time with cigarette or if the time was simply passing so slow for you, since he was a pretty fast smoker.

To his surprise, you grabbed one egg and immediately threw it on his car, making him rise his eyebrows and laugh in shock. You never did something like that before, so you didn’t really understand why the alarm didn’t go on. Was your throw too weak?

A huge grin formed on your lips as you threw another egg, you couldn’t stop the evil laugh as you watched the egg yolk all over the window and in that moment you wished you had rotten eggs instead. Watching you happy like that, Touya couldn’t hide his smile. He was almost sure that everyone could read his emotions, he was sure that everyone could say how much in love he was with you.

You were on your fourth egg when Touya took one from the package and threw it. You weren’t sure if he threw it with much more force, or if he already did this before, but when the egg hit the car, loud alarm took over the peaceful night.

,, Shit, we have to hurry’’ Touya said under his breath as both of you threw one more egg. Sure, Kai won’t call the police, but if someone else saw you, they sure will.

You were laughing loudly, as you took your last egg, ready to throw it while Touya explained to you at what you should aim for.

,, HEY’’ you heard a familiar voice, coming from the building you used to spend so much time in. Not even turning around, you threw the egg and rushed to Toyua’s car, hopping fast into passenger seat. The moment Kai got out, everything happened too fast.

You wished you could take a photo of his upset face as he looked over your car. You were sure that you never saw him mad like that.

,, YOU FUCKING SUCK’’ he yelled once he turned the alarm off, while Dabi was ready to drive off, laughing loudly with you.

,, AND YOU SWALLOW BITCH’’ you yelled, popping your head thru the window. Touya gave you a bit time to flip him a bird, before he drove fast off, leaving your ex boyfriend pissed on the road. Laughing loudly, you leaned back into the seat, satisfied with the little event your best friend thought of.

,, You are seriously the best’’ you said, still smiling widely. Touya nodded his head, focused on the road. Every time he took a look of you, his heart would skip a beat. He was so fucking glad that you weren’t sad anymore, at least not for now.

You weren’t sure what had he planned next, since he wasn’t driving back home, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed his company, and you enjoyed the fact that you felt nothing else beside happiness in the moment. It was weird how fast emotions were taking over you. Just one hour ago you were a crying mess, and all of sudden you found yourself enjoying the night with your best friend.

You didn’t even realize how hungry you were, until Touya stopped by McDonalds to buy some food. Once he came back, placing the milkshakes and paper bag into your lap, you almost started drooling from the delicious smell.

He parked on the spot beside lake, where the two of you usually come to chill a bit. The music played on the low as the two of you ate slowly and talked about casual stuff. The moment a song from the famous tiktoker started playing in the background, you wished your hands weren’t so oily from the food. You wanted to change the song, but you didn’t want to make your phone oily, you weren’t even sure why you had that song in your playlist after all.

,, Does this song bother you?’’ he asked, taking a sip from his milkshake.

,, Yeah there’s a word that’s pissing me off’’ you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

,,Which one?’’ he asked confused.

,,When she says This ain’t build a bitch, you don’t get to pick or choose, what she should have said is nothing and just never release that stupid song’’ you hissed, wiping your hands as you changed the song that was pissing you off so much.

,, You are so cute’’ he complimented you, as both of you placed the rest of the food in the paper bag. Everything you did was cute to him, the was you sneeze is cute to him, the way you rise your brows when you are surprised, the way you laugh at your own jokes sometimes. Everything.

,,Did you know that Yumi got pregnant ?’’He asked you suddenly. Your eyes widened in shock, as you heard him ask, not because it was weird or anything like that, the two of you always gossip, but because you knew Yumi so well. You weren’t best friends with her, but the two of you would casually meet up.

,, Wasn’t she on the pills?’’ you asked, covering your mouth with your left hand. ,, Oh fuck no, I don’t claim this negative energy’’ you gasped shaking your head as Dabi laughed at your sudden reaction.

Talking about pregnancy and sex, you found yourself thinking about the last time you slept with your ex. You didn’t feel any sadness, all you felt was disappointment and anger. Just the thought that he was the last one inside you was making you mad, and the fact that only god knows when will you sleep with someone again was making you mad even more.

It’s not that you were a prude, or that you had something against one night stands. Sure, you could install Tinder and just find a quick fuck, knowing very well that the thought will bother you until the problem in your head is solved. But you weren’t the one to jump under the covers with a complete stranger.

,, What’s up?’’ Dabi asked once he saw you confused and lost in your thoughts. Hearing his voice, a sudden idea popped up in your head. You shook your head, trying to not think about it. He is your best friend for fucks sake, you can’t use him for something like that.

,, Nothing’’ you shook your head once again, trying to avoid his eyes.

,, Oh come on, tell me’’ he said stubbornly, as he placed his cigarette between his lips.

,, You know, the fact that Kai was the last person I had sex with, and the fact that I don’t know how long it will stay that way is bothering me’’ you confessed, skipping the part with the rest of your thoughts.

,, and you thought I could help you with it’’ Touya joked, as he puffed on his cigarette.

,, How did you know?’’ You asked way too fast, regretting it almost immediately once he almost choked onto the air and the smoke of his cigarette.

,, You can’t be serious’’ Touya said under his breath, closing his eyes as he spoke those words out. You weren’t sure why, but your heart sank a bit once you heard him say that.

,, Ah come on, it can be a quick fuck, it won’t change anything between us’’ he whined, turning your body to his direction. Once you said that, Touya grabbed you and forced you into his lap. You were more then shocked by his action, but you still positioned yourself comfortably in his lap, not sure if you should say anything or just wait..

,, You think I’ll be able to go back after it ?’’ he asked, one hand holding your waist firmly, and other holding his cigarette. ,, Doll, you should know better than anyone that I don’t do quick fucks’’ he added, as his grip got stronger. You weren’t sure if you should be embarrassed or not, but you felt uneasy at that moment, not sure where this all is leading.

,, If we do it now, there’s no going back doll, you’ll belong to me’’ he added again, as you sat in his lap confused. It was weird to hear him talk like that.

,, Touya, that can fuck up our friendship’’ you whispered. You were way too confused, not sure if he was talking about a relationship with you or just about you not sleeping with anyone else beside him.

,, And a quick fuck won’t do it?’’ he hissed, throwing the finished cigarette out of his window. He was right, both of it could fuck it up, and your idea was probably the worse option. The problem you had just few minutes ago was long gone, as new thoughts took over your mind. The fact that he was slowly placing soft kisses all over your neck didn’t help the situation, and the fact that you tiled your head to the side to give him more access to it didn’t help either.

You weren’t sure if you were simply too horny in the moment and if emotions took over you, but one part of you wanted to give it a try, yet another part of you was simply too scared of losing him. You did think about it before, how lucky can a girl be to call herself his girlfriend!? He’s not like other guys, at least not to you. He was always so caring, so gentle and so loving with you. He was the one who was always there for you, and in fact, you were more than sure that if you two start something, you won’t end up being hurt. But the fact that your friendship was under a question because of it was making you scared. Touya is the only person you never want to lose, and he knew that very well.

,, What do you say doll? Wanna try?’’ he asked, as he kissed your jaw softly. You weren’t sure how were you even capable of thinking at all in that moment.

,, Yes’’ you breathed out, closing your eyes shut as you enjoyed his soft kisses. Could you really lose him? If you had to worry about it so much, you should worry about the very exact moment. Why wouldn’t the current event ruin your friendship, now that you know that he doesn’t really see you as a friend as much as you thought. If you start some kind of a relationship with him, and if it doesn’t work, the two of you could talk it out.

The moment you said yes, Touya grabbed your yaw with his right hand, brushing his nose with your own before he connected his lips with yours. Once you placed your hands on his cheeks, trying to get closer to him, he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

What really drove him crazy was you rolling your hips on him. The fact that you had nothing else under your oversized shirt than your favorite panties almost made him cum in that very moment. Breaking the kiss, he leaned back into the seat, as you tried to catch your breath. Touya pulled your shirt up, exposing your naked chest. Not wasting any time, he placed his left on your right boob, pinching and twisting your already hard nipple, while sucking the other one.

Just the feeling of his hot breath made you throw your head back, enjoying the sucking and squeezing he was giving you. You placed your hands on his shoulders, finding support in it. Every roll you did with your hips, was met with his own one, making you feel his hard erection under his sweatpants. A quiet moan escaped your lips when you felt him bite on your nipple few times before he got back onto sucking it again.

Touya pulled your hips up a bit, giving you a sign to stay in that position as he pulled his sweatpants and boxers down, just enough for his dick to spring up. You knew that he had a dick piercing, in fact, you were in the waiting room when he decided to get it, but you still were shocked. It looked so good, so attractive.

You wanted to get out of his lap, you wanted to taste him, but his hands stopped you. Pushing you back onto his lap once again.

,, You have no idea how much I love you’’ he said, brushing his lips on your own, as he pushed your panties to the side and rubbed the tip of his dick around your hole.

,, I love you too, so much’’ you confessed, kissing him softly, as the pink head of his dick slowly entered you, hands on your hips slowly leading you down onto his length, until he was all in.

,, I know’’ Touya smirked into the kiss, enjoying the warmth of your walls hugging his dick. The hands on your hips slowly started to lead your hips up and down. The pace was so slow you could feel every inch of his dick rubbing against your velvety walls. Touya wasn’t one to enjoy the slow pace that much, but with you it was something else. He wanted to feel you as much as possible, and pushing his dick so slow into you gave him that possibility.

Just thinking about how it finally happened almost made him cream inside you. Closing his eyes, he let you move up and down his dick on your own. When you nuzzled your head into his neck he almost lost it, holding your hips down for few seconds just to calm his dick down. The small I love you that you whispered into his neck all over again didn’t help either, making it hard for him to control himself.

His hand found its way under your shirt, while his lips were all over your neck now, leaving sloppy marks all over it. You weren’t sure what did you enjoy more, his lips and hot breath over your neck, sucking and biting it, his hand squeezing your left breast or his dick deep inside you rubbing against your cervix.

Even tho you were moving your hips so slow, every time you were pushing your hips down, his would move upward, snapping against you with a little force and hitting your cervix perfectly. The both of you were breathing heavily, enjoying every second of the slow sex you had.

Wrapping his arms around you, he pulled your body closer to his, as he started moving just a little bit faster. You squeezed your eyes shut, as you realized that your climax was getting closer and closer with every move. Touya noticed your breathing getting faster, and your walls hugging his dick tighter then before, as he pulled your body up a bit, pushing you against the steering wheel and giving himself more access to move and fuck you a bit faster and stronger then before.

Moaning loudly, you wrapped your arms around him as you came all over his dick, almost shocked that you came without any clit stimulation. Dabi didn’t stop fucking you, helping you ride off the hard orgasm that just hit you.

Once he was sure you were done, he sat down. He lowered his seat, as he changed the position, locking you under him. Without giving you a chance to understand anything, he pushed his dick inside you.

,, I’m not done with you’’ he groaned, as he started moving his hips at much faster pace then before. Instead of saying anything, you wrapped your legs around him, placing your hands around his neck and just kissing him again. You couldn’t get enough of him, and luckily he felt the same. Accepting everything you had to offer, gladly.

The slow and steady pace was long forgotten, as he fucked you into the seat of his car with much more force and at one ungodly speed. You were pretty sure that the car was moving with every move he did, and you were sure if someone happened to be near, they would know what’s going on, but that was the last thing you cared of.

You were a moaning mess under him, and he was no better than you. You were surprised when you felt his hand around your throat, holding you in one place and playing with your breath. Open your mouth for me was all he said, before you felt thick saliva in your mouth. When it started, you thought it would be only some vanilla sex, the last thing you thought was that he would end up choking you and spitting in your mouth.

If it was someone else, you would probably freak out, but since it was him, you only obeyed, mouth open and tongue out, giving him approval for more.

,,That’s my good girl’’ he said, as he spat into your mouth one more time, while his grip around your neck only grew stronger. He was moving at rapidly speed, his skin slapping against your own was louder than the music that was playing in the background.

You closed your eyes as you started catching your breath once his hand moved away from your neck. Touya couldn’t control himself anymore, grabbing the edges of the seat, as he fucked into you. The pain mixed with pleasure was too intense for you, but you are his good girl, and you are doing so great for him, he made sure you understood that, as he repeated it all over again, while fucking into you.

The moment you felt his fingers rubbing your clit in circles, all you could do was squeeze your eyes shut, moaning loudly, as he told you to cum all over his dick, so you did as you were told and that was enough for him to reach his own high. Few harsh moves and he found himself cuming deep inside you. Even Toyua doesn’t know how did he find the energy to tell you how good you are milking his dick, but he did.

Collapsing on top of you, he fucked his seed inside of you, making sure not a single drop will get outside of your tight little out, making sure none of it will go to waste.

,, You’re mine’’ he said, placing soft kisses all over your face, and you were his. You were always his and he was always yours.

You weren’t sure how long would it take you to get over your stupid ex, but you were sure that Touya will be there for you and help you out in every way he can. Starting from the moment the two of you left your apartment, to the very moment the two of you cuddled inside of his car, after one steamy sex. All you could think of was your best friend and what would future bring you.

653 notes · View notes

belphies-cuhm-sluht · 3 years ago

Note

Hey! I read for dad! Lucifer post and seeing that your requests were open I wanted to know if I could ask for a second part to it, maybe how things evolve between Lucifer and his child and your relationship?

If not, could I request a similar scenario (the dad angst) with Mammon? Thanks a lot!

Much Better Off (Dad!Mammon x F!Reader)

A/N : Wew boy, at this point the only brother's who haven't been made into shitty angsty dads are Leviathan, Satan, and Beel (who already has a dad!fic I just can't make him an asshole... I just can't see it, he's a teddy bear, he would never do anything to hurt MC) Word Count : 3K Warnings : pregnancy; maternity; children; babies; child birth; labor; angst

Mammon would do anything for you, that much was made very clear. He loved you wholeheartedly, he was devoted to you, he was the perfect boyfriend all around. That’s why you weren’t worried, you felt like you didn’t have to be worried, you assumed that he would be there with you, for you, standing right beside you as you both went through this together. Who would have thought that this was the one thing that he didn’t want to take part in with you? Not you…

“Are ya kiddin’ me!? I ain’t ready for a damn kid! Look at me!” He shouted as you sat on the edge of his bed, twirling your fingers as you waited for him to stop ranting. The worst part was that you hadn’t even told him the news, you had just asked him how he felt about having a child together. Seeing his reaction made you want to turn, walk out now before he got any more upset than he already was. “Why’re ya askin’ anyways? We don’t need no kid, we got each other. How we gonna do anything with some baby screamin’ and cryin’ all the time? Gotta think about these things babe.” Your lip quivered as you continued to listen to him, his stance on the situation already clear to you before you had told him anything at all. The sight of you on the verge of crying made him shut up, cocking his head to the side as he studied your expression. “What’sa matter? Why’re ya cryin’?” “Whatever, Mammon. Just leave me alone. You think you can do that?” You snapped at him, quickly wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve as you got up from the bed, walking to the door as he watched, clearly confused and unable to think of a time when you had snapped at him, let alone told him to leave you alone. He didn’t get it, and he didn’t think that he had said anything wrong. Asking him how he felt about having a kid was a silly question, especially considering who he was. Did you really think he’d be able to put his money towards some infant? It was hard enough already to share his money with you. You walked into your room, staring at the little white stick that laid on your desk, the two pink lines that had sparked joy in you only moments ago now felt like two walls, and they were closing in on you much too fast. “I’m sorry…” You mumbled, unsure of who you were even saying it to, but it seemed like the right thing to say. Sorry to yourself for believing that Mammon was capable of actually growing up, of taking responsibility. Sorry to Mammon for having that much hope in him, for almost placing so much responsibility on the shoulders of someone who couldn’t even zip up his pants without getting his dick caught in the zipper on the first try. But most of all, sorry to the child that you were carrying who had an absolute imbecile as a father and a mother with poor judgement for even thinking that he would potentially make a good father.

Mammon stood outside your bedroom door, his hand raised as he wondered whether he should knock or just walk right in. Surely you’d be pissed at him either way, but he heard the soft sounds of your breathing and he knew that you were sleeping. He should have walked away, he should have waited for you to wake up so he could actually talk to you, but he needed to know what was wrong, what the reason was for bringing up a child, and he hoped that he’d find the answers somewhere in your room. He opened the door carefully, making sure the hinges didn’t squeak or squeal to alert you that he was there. Seeing you curled up on the bed, holding tightly onto your pillow with the blankets wrapped around you, it hurt just a little. You should be holding onto him like that. You would have been holding onto him like that if you hadn’t walked out the way you did. He sighed quietly, turning away from your sleeping form on the bed to go back to searching, his eyes going straight to your desk. There could be something in your notebooks, or maybe in your bag. He wasn’t against going through people's things, it just felt strange to do it when they were in the room. Before he could even start flipping through the pages of your books though, his eyes focused on the little white stick. He didn’t know what it was, he had never seen anything like it before. “What the…?” He clicked his tongue, studying the stick for a little bit more before shoving it in his pocket and leaving your room. He may not know what it is, but surely one of his brothers would know, and the main brother he was thinking of was right down the hall, most likely with his face stuck between the pages of a book. “Hey! D’ya know what this is?” Mammon asked, walking into Satan’s room unannounced as usual, grabbing the stick out of his pocket and holding it up in front of his brother's face. He didn’t understand why Satan looked so disgusted, or why he smacked the stick away and out of his hand. “Jeesh… I was jus’ askin’. What’s yer problem anyway?” He mumbled, bending down to pick the stick up off the floor and shoving it back into his pocket. Satan looked on at his brother incredulously, like he was looking at the biggest idiot in the entire universe, and he was pretty sure that he actually was looking at the biggest idiot in the universe. “You don’t know what that is? At all? What’s it like being so clueless all the time?” Mammon didn’t have time for his little brother’s ridicule or mocking, he just needed to know what the stick was, it might give him some answers as to why you’re so upset. He stood there staring at Satan, his hands on his hips as he waited for a real answer. “It’s a pregnancy test, you dunce! How do you not know that?” Satan groaned, flipping his book open once more, only for Mammon to drop the test between the pages, looking down at his brother with wide eyes. “What’s it sayin’?” He whispered, almost too scared to ask too loudly. He didn’t want any of the other brothers to hear him, he didn’t need them to know. He didn’t want Satan to know either, but he was the smartest brother in the house aside from Lucifer, he was just too scared of how Lucifer would react. “She’s pregnant. Congratulations. Can I get back to my book now?”

The news was out, and you didn’t know if it was relieving that you didn’t have to tell him yourself or if you were more pissed than anything that he had gone into your room and snooped through your things without you knowing. “So when was ya gonna tell me, huh?! Or did ya jus’ plan on hidin’ it till the kid popped out? Betcha was gonna try’na surprise me… Well now ya know… I don’t like them kinda surprises! I don’t want no kids!” He had stormed into your room screaming it, out the window with his plan of keeping it a secret from his brothers. They had all gathered around the door to listen to the fool and watch as he made a scene. You watched on in complete disbelief, holding your pillow tighter against your body as he continued ranting and raving. “All yer fault too! Ya got all jealous ‘cause the ‘ttention I was gettin’ so ya try tah ruin my modelin’, tie me down with some kid that I ain’t want. Who’s the stupid one now? Huh?!” You were on the verge of tears, bringing the pillow up to your face to hide behind it as he continued spewing whatever nonsense his brain could come up with, anything to shift the blame off of himself. “Mammon!” Lucifer’s voice rang loud as he pushed through the crowd of brother’s that had all been looking on in shock. “All of you, back to your rooms. Now!” No one dared to go against him, not even Satan and Belphegor, they all scurried away, but you didn’t doubt for a second that they would be listening from the doors of their rooms, waiting to see what kind of punishment Mammon would get for not only talking to you that way, but also getting you pregnant. “Down to my office.” His voice was stern, he wasn’t messing around. For once, Mammon stood up to Lucifer. He was on a power trip after yelling at you that way, and there was no end in sight. “No. I’m gettin’ outta here. I ain’t lettin’ no human hold me back, and I ain’t lettin’ no human kid hold me back or take my money. The Great Mammon is leavin’, and I don’t want no one ta follow me either.” He strode out of the room, his head held high as if saying all of that made him feel more powerful than ever. Maybe it did, maybe he got a rise out of it, you weren’t sure. Hell, you weren’t sure of anything anymore. “Y/N, are you alright? Do you need anything?” You could tell that Lucifer was enraged. The way Mammon had spoken to you and him was unacceptable on every level, but with Mammon gone, you had become his priority, the center of attention. He smiled weakly to you, walking over to sit on the edge of your bed as he awkwardly patted your legs through the blanket. “Are you thirsty? Do you need anything to eat?” You could tell that he wasn’t good at this. Comforting others wasn’t his forte, but he was trying his best, and it was appreciated. “Tissues?” You said weakly, finally letting the pillow fall away from your face. Your eyes were puffy and red from crying and repeatedly wiping them against the pillowcase. Your nose was just as red from sniffling so much and Lucifer pitied you. He knew that this wasn’t entirely your doing, Mammon was just being an asshole and trying to find a way out of any responsibility, as he always did. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, handing it to you with a soft smile, but you were a little confused. Why was he being so nice? “Aren’t you mad at me too?” Lucifer chuckled, reaching out to pat your head softly before standing up again. “Mammon is an idiot, but he somehow has charm. Humans cannot deny him, try as they might, and you were no exception to that charm. He wasn’t careful, which is the case with most things that he is involved with. You didn’t know that something like this could happen, you most likely didn’t believe that it could, but he knew, and he didn’t care. Such are Mammon’s mistakes.” He sighed heavily, grabbing the pillow that you had dropped and placing it behind your head again. “You need to relax, be calm. I’ll bring you some tea and soup. How does that sound?” You nodded slowly, relaxing against the pillow as you dabbed away the tears that had begun to fall. It was strange that Lucifer was

acting this way, you weren’t used to him seeming like he cared, but it was welcomed and much needed.

Mammon rarely ever came back to the house after he left, only dropping by to pick up clothes or random items that he might have left behind, but he never looked at you or talked to you. He never asked about the child that was on the verge of busting out any day now, he didn’t even ask his brothers how you were doing or how you were feeling, never asking if you needed help. He didn’t care, he never cared. “Y/N, how are you feeling today?” Lucifer asked as he walked into your room. It was something that you had now gotten used to, his constant appearances to make sure that you and his brother's child were healthy and well rested. He had, in a sense, taken over, not wanting to leave you to go through this kind of thing on your own. “You’re very close to the delivery and you haven’t gotten a crib or bassinet yet? Is she going to be sleeping on the floor?” He asked, looking around the room. You giggled lightly, shaking your head as you watched him walk further in. “I’m feeling good, thank you. And no… no crib or bassinet. I was thinking she could sleep in the bed with me.” You mused, rubbing your hand over your swollen stomach and feeling your daughter kick against your touch. “A lot of parents do that so they don’t have to get out of bed in the middle of the night. At least until she’s old enough to sleep on her own.” You shifted, swinging your feet over the side of the bed and quickly walked over to help you up, tsking his tongue at you. “If you spoil her from the moment she comes out, she’ll never willingly sleep on her own. I’ll order one from Akuzon and have it shipped here, don’t worry.” You rolled your eyes at Lucifer, patting the side of your bed, motioning for him to sit down. “What is it? Contractions? Do you need me to hold your hand?” He was taking this so seriously, you still weren’t sure whether to be shocked or happy that he had stepped in when Mammon had walked out. He sat down, grabbing your hand before you had even told him what you needed, brushing his thumb along your knuckles. You bit your lip, looking down at your hands and then back up at him, letting out a small giggle. “I was actually just thinking that you’ve done so much… And I’m not even sure why… But you’ve never actually felt her kick. Do you want to? She’s moving around a lot this morning, I think she’s trying to get out.” You pursed your lips, watching for his expression. You could tell he was thinking, his eyes landing on your stomach as he watched the little waves that your daughter made beneath your skin. It was oddly satisfying to watch, and he had been wondering what it would feel like, so he slowly reached his other hand out to place on top of your stomach right before she kicked again. “Does it hurt?” He wasn’t exactly asking you, more so asking himself as she continued kicking against him which had a small smile forming at his lips. “She’s definitely trying to get out… I should order that bassinet now. I don’t think she’ll be in there much longer.” He quickly got up, standing straight as he smiled kind of awkwardly down at you. “Let me know if you need anything while I’m gone.”

Lucifer was right. Your daughter decided that she wanted out that night, and he was with you the entire time. He never left your side at the hospital, and he had even been the first one to hold her, placing his finger in the palm of her tiny hand for her to wrap her fingers around. “Let’s just hope you’re nothing like your father…” He whispered before handing her off to you, leaning in to kiss the top of your head as he brushed the hair out of your face. “You did wonderfully, Y/N. I’m so very proud of you.” Going back home was nice, all of the brothers were standing in the entryway waiting for you. They were all lined up, waiting to hug you and extend their congratulations before all getting a look at your daughter who Lucifer held close to his chest. If none of them had heard Mammon’s outburst at the beginning of your pregnancy, they all would have assumed that she was Lucifer’s based on the way he looked at her alone. With all the excitement and everything that was going on, you hadn’t even noticed Mammon who was standing next to the stairs, his eyes focused on Lucifer, but you couldn’t read his expression, not clearly. “So yer back home…” He muttered, finally stepping forward. “And ya brought the kid with ya…” You heard Lucifer growl quietly, not even realizing how close he had gotten until you turned around and saw him standing right behind you. Mammon’s eyes squinted as he looked between you and Lucifer before he started laughing loudly, waking up your daughter who had been sleeping peacefully in Lucifer’s arms. “Oh! Don’t tell me, Lucifer… yer datin’ my girl now… and ya tryin’ ta play dad ta my kid. Is that what this is?” What you weren’t expecting was to feel one of Lucifer’s arms wrap around you, pulling you a little closer to him, still growling, but much more quietly. “That’s exactly what this is. Except I’m not playing anything, I’m sure the child will be much better off with a more responsible father such as myself. Anyway, thank you for dropping by, have a great night.” Your eyes went wide as you turned to look back at the oldest brother. Was that what this was? You hadn’t even known… but… he was so good to you, and you could already see how good he was with your daughter… When was he planning on actually telling you though? He smiled down at you, rolling his eyes as he leaned down to kiss you, and you could barely hear Mammon’s gasp over your own. “I’m sorry, dear. I had a much better speech prepared for this, but as per usual, Mammon ruined it.” He brushed his thumb across your bottom lip before handing you your daughter. “I’ll be right up, I just want to show Mammon out the door this time.”

470 notes · View notes

blackcatrph · 4 years ago

Text

** sour sentence starters.

brutal.

“ i think that i’ll die before i drink. ”

“ i'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you. ”

“ i'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life. ”

“ they'd all be so disappointed because who am I if not exploited? ”

“ where's my fuckin' teenage dream? ”

“ if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry. ”

“ i'm anxious and nothing can help. ”

“ i wish I'd done this before. ”

“ i wish people liked me more. ”

“ all I did was try my best. ”

“ this the kind of thanks I get? ”

“ they say these are the golden years. ”

“ i wish I could disappear. ”

“ god, it's brutal out here. ”

“ i feel like no one wants me. ”

“ i only have two real friends. ”

“ lately I'm a nervous wreck. ”

“ i love people I don't like. ”

“ i hate every song I write. ”

“ i'm not cool, and I'm not smart. ”

“ i can't even parallel park. ”

“ got a broken ego, broken heart. ”

“ i don't even know where to start. ”

traitor.

“ brown guilty eyes and little white lies. ”

“ i played dumb but I always knew. ”

“ i kept quiet so I could keep you. ”

“ ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits? ”

“ ain't it funny how you said you were friends? ”

“ it sure as hell don't look like it. ”

“ you betrayed me. ”

“ i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt. ”

“ loved you at your worst but that didn't matter. ”

“ guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor. ”

“ there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly. ”

“ ain't it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid? ”

“ remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid? ”

“ i wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you. ”

“ you gave me your word but that didn't matter. ”

drivers license.

“ i got my driver's license last week. ”

“ just like we always talked about. ”

“ today I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around. ”

“ you're probably with that blonde girl. ”

“ she's so much older than me. ”

“ she's everything I'm insecure about. ”

“ how could I ever love someone else? “

“ i know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one. ”

“ i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone. ”

“ guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me. ”

“ all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you. ”

“ I kinda feel sorry for them because they'll never know you the way that I do. ”

“ i still see your face in the white cars, front yards. ”

“ can't drive past the places we used to go to because I still fuckin' love you. ”

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

“ i called you on the phone today. ”

“ all I did was speak normally. ”

“ you got me fucked up in the head. ”

“ like am I pretty? am I fun? ”

“ i hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff. ”

“ it's always one step forward and three steps back. ”

“ i'm the love of your life until I make you mad. ”

“ do you love me, want me, hate me? i don't understand. ”

“ maybe in some masochistic way I kind of find it all exciting. ”

“ which lover will I get today? ”

“ will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'? ”

“ it's back and forth, did I say somethin' wrong? ”

“ it's back and forth, goin' over everything I said. ”

“ i'd leave you, but the roller coaster's all I've ever had. ”

deja vu.

“ strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two? ”

“ i bet she's braggin' to all her friends, sayin' you're so unique. ”

“ so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too? ”

“ that was our place, I found it first. ”

“ i made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you. ”

“ do you get déjà vu when she's with you? ”

“ do you call her, almost say my name? ”

“ i hate to think that I was just your type. ”

“ don't act like we didn't do that shit too. ”

“ play her piano, but she doesn't know that I was the one who taught you Billy Joel. ”

good 4 u.

“ well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. ”

“ you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks. ”

“ remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? ”

“ good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself. ”

“ i guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped. ”

“ now you can be a better man for your brand new girl. ”

“ well, good for you, you look happy and healthy. ”

“ not me, if you ever cared to ask. ”

“ good for you, you're doin' great out there without me. ”

“ i've lost my mind. ”

“ i've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom. ”

“ it's like we never even happened. ”

“ what the fuck is up with that? ”

“ good for you, it's like you never even met me. ”

“ remember when you swore to god i was the only person who ever got you? ”

“ well, screw that and screw you. ”

“ you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do. ”

“ maybe I'm too emotional. ”

“ your apathy's like a wound in salt. ”

“ maybe I'm too emotional or maybe you never cared at all. ”

“ like a damn sociopath. ”

enough for you.

“ i wore makeup when we dated because I thought you'd like me more. ”

“ i know that you loved before. ”

“ tried so hard to be everything that you like. ”

“ i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that I was smart. ”

“ stupid, emotional, obsessive little me. ”

“ i knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave. ”

“ you found someonе more exciting. ”

“ you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong. ”

“ you always say I'm never satisfied but I don't think that's true. ”

“ all I ever wanted was to be enough for you. ”

“ maybe I'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before. ”

“ you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more. ”

“ i'd say you broke my heart but you broke much more than that. ”

“ i don’t want your sympathy, i just want myself back. ”

“ don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded? ”

“ don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing? ”

“ don’t tell me you’re sorry, feel sorry for yourself. ”

“ someday i’ll be everything to somebody else. ”

“ you’ll be the one crying. ”

happier.

“ we broke up a month ago. ”

“ your friends are mine you know. ”

“ you’ve moved on, found someone new. ”

“ i thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past. ”

“ she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty. ”

“ does she mean you forgot about me ? ”

“ i hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me. ”

“ i’m selfish i know. i can’t let you go. ”

“ find someone great, but don’t find no one better. ”

“ i hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier. ”

“ do you tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? ”

“ an eternal love bullshit you know you’ll never mean. ”

“ remember when i believe you meant it when you said it first to me? ”

“ now i’m picking her apart like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart. ”

“ she’s beautiful, she looks kind. ”

“ she probably gives you butterflies. ”

“ i wish you all the best, really. ”

“ say you love her, just not like you loved me. ”

“ think of me fondly when your hands are on her. ”

jealousy jealousy.

“ i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room. ”

“ all i see are girls too good to be true. ”

“ i know their beauty’s not my lack but it feels like that weight is on my back. ”

“ comparison is killing me slowly. ”

“ i think i think too much. ”

“ i’m so sick of myself, i’d rather be anyone else. ”

“ my jealousy started following me. ”

“ i see everyone getting all the things i want. ”

“ i’m happy for them, but then again, i’m not. ”

“ i can’t stand it. ”

“ oh god i sound crazy. ”

“ their win is not my loss, i know it’s true. ”

“ i can’t help getting caught up in it all. ”

“ all your friends are so cool. ”

“ you go out every night. ”

“ you’re living the life. ”

“ i want to be you so bad, and i don’t even know you. ”

“ all i see is what i should be. ”

favourite crime.

“ know that i love you so bad. ”

“ i let you treat me like that. ”

“ i was your willing accomplice. ”

“ i watched as you fled the scene. ”

“ doe-eyed as you buried me. ”

“ the things i did just so i could call you mine. ”

“ the things you did. well, i hope i was your favourite crime. ”

“ you used me as an alibi. ”

“ i crossed my heart and you crossed the line. ”

“ i defended you to all my friends. ”

“ every time i siren sounds, i wonder if you’re around. ”

“ you know that i’d do it all again. ”

“ it’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we’d do. ”

“ i was going down but i was doing it with you. ”

“ i say that i hate you with a smile on my face. ”

“ look what we became. ”

hope ur ok.

“ his parents cared more about the bible than being good to their own child. ”

“ wore long sleeves because of his dad. ”

“ somehow we fell out of touch. ”

“ hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush. ”

“ don’t know if i’ll see you again someday. ”

“ i hope that you’re okay. ”

“ her parents hated who she loved. ”

“ she was brought into a world where family was merely blood. ”

“ with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred. ”

“ we don’t talk much. ”

“ i miss you and i hope that you’re okay. ”

“ address the letter to the holes in my butterfly wings. ”

“ nothing’s forever, nothing is as good as it seems. ”

“ when the clouds are ironed our and the monsters creep into your house, every door is hard to close. ”

“ i hope you know how proud i am. ”

“ i hope that you’re happier today. ”

“ i love you and i hope that you’re okay. ”

#rp meme #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #ask meme #rp ask prompts #lyrical meme #lyric rp meme #this took approx 900 years to make

557 notes · View notes

andrea-lyn · 3 years ago

Text

look at me, I am old, but I’m happy

(for @christchex because I truly believe her to be #1 Sanders supporter)

The damn kids are keeping something from him. None of them are good liars at the best of times, but every time Sanders shows up when Michael’s friends are around, suddenly they go real quiet. At first, he writes it off as stupid youthful hormone shit. It’s probably something to do with that Manes boy that Michael doesn’t want to talk about. Only, then Alex Manes starts coming around, Michael’s a lot happier, and the weird behavior keeps going. Something’s up, and it’s something Michael’s actively not telling him. “You know, I ought to fire you,” Sanders says one Sunday, when he and Michael are working on the sunflower fields. Michael scoffs, glancing up from the seeding mechanism he’s been working to fix, but he avoids meeting Sanders’ eyes. He’s known this boy since he tripped out of a pod and he knows when he’s about to be lied to. “I’d like to see you try,” he mutters, but his curiosity is sparked. “Why are you bothering to do that when most of my time is volunteered?” “Because you and your friends are keeping something from me.” “We’re not,” Michael lies. “You’re a terrible liar, boy,” Sanders warns, but he lets him get away with it. Just this once, he lets him. Michael waves him off and grabs his bundle of sunflowers to take back to the Airstream. He doesn’t say what or who they’re for, but Sanders knows. It’s the Manes boy, who’s been lurking around and grinning like an idiot all the time. With Michael gone, Sanders is left to consider what it is that’s being whispered about behind his back. There’s enough alien secrets in this town to fill a gossip rag, but Michael’s been fairly honest with him recently, even if he’s been trying to hide how gone he is over his thing with Alex Manes. The truth is this -- he’s an old man. The boy he used to be is a memory and a distant one at that. He’s taken Walt and locked him away behind mountains of bottles and liquor. There’s so much trauma related to those days that he actively works as hard as he can to forget it, and that’s why it takes him so long to realize that maybe he actually knows a bit more than he realizes when it comes to one of those alien secrets.

The secret they’re keeping comes to roost soon after. Well, roost ain’t exactly the word. “They still allow relics like you in this place?”

When Sanders had still been a child and had been happy with Miss Nora and Miss Louise, he’d always recalled their tension around the man they called Jones. They tried to keep it a secret from him then, too, and it’s irritating as hell that history’s repeating it-damn-self. “Relics like me belong more than you do around here,” Sanders scoffs, tossing the wrench into the toolbox. “I’m looking for Michael.” Sanders turns to take in the look of him. He blames his age on the fact that Max Evans never made him feel that icy chill down his spine to spark recognition. All those years with that face in front of him and he never remembered Jones, not until the alien himself busted out and started scaring Sanders all over like he’s a kid. He’s not a kid, though. He’s an old man tired of this bullshit and he’s not about to let an asshole push him around. “Michael,” Sanders says sharply, “ain’t none of your business.” “He’s none of yours either,” Jones says calmly. “Besides, you’re right. It’s not business. It’s family.” It comes back in fits and starts. Miss Nora’s discomfort with Jones’ hand on her shoulder, but the possessive way Jones held onto her. The way Jones had always seemed more occupied with one of the pods. The possessive and keen look in his eye when he’d looked at Walt dismissively, like a human child that Nora took a liking to could never pass muster. There’s only one explanation that Sanders sees, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s crap. “You’re not that boy’s father,” Sanders scoffs. “Or, you might be by blood or whatever alien junk flows through those veins of yours. That boy needed a father growing up and I sure as hell didn’t do the job well enough, but at least I’ve been here. At least I’ve been trying. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say.” He’s an old and very stupid man, seeing as he knows how much Jones can hurt him. That raised alien hand glowing furiously red is a bad sign, but Sanders decides that if this is how he’s going out, defending Michael is the way he wants to go. “I might have been late getting my act cleaned up, but I still gave him everything I could. I’d die for that boy,” Sanders vows. “For my kid.” Jones scoffs, amused by Sanders’ loyalty like it’s a joke, but then, he always has been an ass, hasn’t he? “Funny you should say that, because today’s your lucky day for getting what you want.” He approaches swiftly, but before he can seal that glowing hand on Sanders’ chest, he just … stops. Sanders refuses to blink. He’s going to stare down his death as long as Jones wants to kill him, which is why he doesn’t notice that he’s being held in place by someone else’s alien powers. “Try,” Michael Guerin snaps at Jones, where he’s holding a bundle of sunflowers in one hand, and holding Jones in place with the other. “You’re not gonna like what happens to you.” Sanders is pretty sure Michael’s bluffing and that when it comes to these two, Michael’s not the one with the upper hand. Still, Jones is playing some kind of long game, because he steps back and lifts both hands up, stepping back and away. “Just two old friends catching up,” he insists, a look in his eyes that says he’s coming back to find Sanders when Michael’s not around. Still, he goes. He goes and he doesn’t look back, leaving Sanders to exhale, slumping over the pick-up truck he’s been working on. “What the hell were you thinking?” Michael demands. “Taunting him like that? He’s an evil dictator! He’s…” “Yeah, yeah, I got the gist decades ago,” Sanders cuts him off. “All I know is what he’s not, and that’s any kind of father to you. Because I might not be the world’s best Dad, but when it comes to it these days, he doesn’t get to swan in and make you feel like you owe him anything. He doesn’t get to make you feel like you belong to him.” This is all getting too damn emotional for him, but he wants to make one thing clear. “I know I didn’t manage the way I should’ve, but if anyone’s a father to you these days, it’s me.” With that said, he gives a firm nod, and hopes that he’s not going to do anything embarrassing like start crying about it. Well, he might not, but Michael’s struggling to keep it together, by the looks of it, so maybe that’s exactly what it is he needs to hear. “What the hell are you doing back here anyway?” Sanders grunts, when the awkward silence drags on too long. Michael clears his throat, gesturing to the Airstream with the flowers (and conveniently wiping at his nose). “I forgot some papers that I wanted to go over with Alex,” he says, “Lucky I did, or you would’ve been alien dust.” “I got a few tricks up my old sleeves,” Sanders promises, even if he doesn’t have them yet. “So. You and Alex Manes, huh? You ready to admit to me that it’s a thing yet?” Michael wrinkles his nose, but he’s clearly not thinking about Jones anymore, so Sanders considers it a mission accomplished. “How about you start worrying about how much of a thing it is when Alex needs to come get permission from my Dad to marry me,” Michael quips, and he sounds free and happy and brazen and goddamn high. It’s the most that Sanders could ever hope for. “That likely to happen anytime soon?” Michael shrugs, ducking back out of the Airstream with the papers. “You know I don’t do things slow.” “Don’t I ever,” he mutters. “Just warn me before I got alien grandchildren running around the damn scrapyard, will you? The place needs to be alien-proofed.” The look of sheer glee on Michael’s face settles something in Sanders’ chest. He knows he’s happy. He knows he’s settled. He might have missed too many damn years when he was younger, but at least he’s trying now. “Go on,” Sanders encourages. “Go be with your friend,” he teases. “You gonna be okay?” “I’ve survived worse,” Sanders promises. “Now, get,” he insists, and watches Michael leave the scrapyard, off to woo his paramour. As for him? Well, he’s got a hell of a long drive ahead of him to get to the reservation if he wants to pick up some pollen, but after tonight, Sanders figures he ought to protect himself. He’s got a family to worry about, after all.

#roswell new mexico #fic #my fic #sanders #malex #jones #aka the battle between michael's fathers #rnm fic #s3 spoilers

224 notes · View notes