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trblsvt · 2 years ago

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3:00 am | yoon jeonghan

summary | sometimes he just didn't understand what he did wrong, and neither did you. genre | angst, hurt/comfort, fluff (?) warnings | swearing word count | 1.4k words pairing | yoon jeonghan x reader minli | lowercase intended requested by this lovely anon! i apologize if this didn't really follow the prompt :(

"well, if you don't want me here then i'll just go!" he yelled grabbing his coat and keys. you said nothing. "i'll be joshua's if you need anything," he said before leaving.

"i won't," you muttered as jeonghan left. "i don't need you for anything."

jeonghan made his way to joshua's door, head hung low. the fight was stupid, but it was obviously a sensitive subject that he already regretted bringing up. if he was honest, he forgot why he even brought it up at all. your friends were none of his business, he just saw some things that were concerning, so he brought it up. his mistake.

he trudged his way up the stairs of joshua's apartment and knocked on the door. the door unlocked and swung open. "jeonghan?" joshua asked, obviously exhausted. "what are you doing here? didn't ___ just get back home from that trip?" jeonghan didn't know how to respond. you were extremely close to joshua, and jeonghan worried that joshua might gut him if he found out about the fight despite being his best friend too. "we had a bit of a disagreement, an argument," jeonghan confessed. joshua stared at him and slowly opened the door enough to let jeonghan in. after joshua closed the door he said, "i knew you had a fight. i just got off the phone with ___. good choice being honest with me."

joshua brushed past jeonghan and into the kitchen. jeonghan followed quickly after. he could feel joshua's coldness spreading throughout the room. "do you want something to drink?" joshua offered, which was strange because he never did that. he always just let jeonghan get what he needed. jeonghan shook his head and went to sit down on the couch. he registered the sound of joshua sitting down next to him. "so why'd you do it?" joshua asked finally.

"do what?" jeonghan groaned.

"criticize ___'s friends."

"i wouldn't say i criticized them."

"you said they're awful people and that ___ shouldn't hang out with them." jeonghan couldn't refute that. it was true. your friends treated you horribly, and he felt like he was going crazy. "okay fine! yeah i said that! it's true though," he tried to defend himself.

"you do realize i'm ___'s best friend, right?" joshua deadpanned. jeonghan just stared at him baffled. he couldn't believe this was happening. first you, now joshua. the world was just out to get him. "i'm not talking about you, just please try to stay out of it," jeonghan buried his face in his hands.

"okay, i will. just don't ruin this really amazing thing you have because if you hurt ___-"

"you'll beat the shit out of me okay, yeah got it," jeonghan finished for him. "i'll be out here, just go back to sleep. thanks for letting me crash here."

"yeah, no problem," joshua mumbled, getting up and heading back to his room.

jeonghan had been awake for the last three hours. it was now officially 3:02 am. he hadn't been able to sleep at all. he knew what he said was out of line, but it didn't mean it wasn't true. your friends sometimes treated you like you didn't even exist. constantly not including you in outings, posting trips that they didn't invite you on, and jeonghan swears to you that he heard them talking poorly about you behind your back. how could you stay friends with people like that? he didn't understand.

but, he knew that wasn't the thing keeping him up. it's what you said after he brought it up.

"it's not like i can just drop them!" you yelled. he had rushed to your side holding you, "yes you can! they're horrible to you. why are hanging out with people who don't treat you nicely?" you flung your arms against him and pulled away. there were tears in your eyes, "they're the only people i have!"

the only people you had? what about him? he knew that he was around less because of his work, and it was a bit new to both of you because he usually wasn't as busy as he is now. but what you said before he left was stirring.

"i don't need you for anything."

he was sure it was just the anger that made you say it, but you said it when he was leaving. could there be some truth behind it? maybe he was overthinking it, but he needed to get this sorted out. it was his nature. he grabbed his phone off the coffee table and pulled up your contact. other than his family, you and joshua were the only ones in his favorites. he didn't know what he would do if he lost you.

his finger hovered over the call button. would you even pick up? what if after you talked you would want to break up with him. he bit the bullet and clicked it. it rang three times and finally, the other line picked up. "han?" you answered. you sounded like you hadn't slept at all. "___, did i wake you? i'm sorry. you can go back to sleep," he rushed, not wanting to worsen the situation.

"no, han, what's wrong? why'd you call?" you didn't sound upset. you sounded concerned. his mind was reeling. "no reason, it's stupid," he coughed. "i'll let you go."

"jeonghan, what's going on? where are you?" you repeated.

"i'm at joshua's. i just- god, this is so stupid. when you said that you don't have anyone, what did you mean by that?" he finally mustered up the courage to ask.

"what are- i don't know what you're talking about," you spluttered, and you were being completely honest. you knew that. jeonghan knew that. you never lied to each other, ever. "when we were arguing. you said you wouldn't drop your friends because they're the only people you have," jeonghan breathed. "i just wanted to know if that's how you actually felt." he heard a catch in your breath so he gave you time. "you have me, and i'm not saying i'm the only person you need because friends are great to have, but only if they treat you well. you said that you didn't need me for anything, but i need you. please tell me you didn't mean that. i'm sorry i'm gone a lot more now, i will do everything to make it up to you." you wanted to say something, but it died in your throat. he continued, "i need you so much, i can't do

you honestly didn't know what to say. you had been friends with your group for years, but suddenly things began to shift. you would have to be blind not to notice it. but, they were the ones who were there, through everything. you could overlook a couple times they forgot to invite you to things, right?

jeonghan obviously didn't think so. it all started when he came home from work, throwing his bag onto the ground and collapsing on the couch next to you. "didn't you have plans with your friends?" he had mumbled into his arm.

"yeah, they, uh, i got the times messed up. they left earlier than i thought," you had said. it was a red flag of course, and jeonghan knew it. "times messed up?" he scoffed. "this is like the fourth time this has happened. do you think they might be doing this on purpose?"

that's what did it. jeonghan had said what you were afraid of and you snapped at him. of course you didn't mean what you said to him. now he was calling second guessing everything. "hannie, of course i didn't mean that. i- i know i have you, it's just so weird for them to be treating me like this," you sighed. "you're everything to me too. i'm sorry i said those things to you, you have to know i didn't mean it. i never meant for you to second guess anything. i was just upset, and that doesn't excuse it-" you rambled on and on, and jeonghan couldn't stand it anymore. he did feel partly responsible for the state you were in. "it's okay, ___. it was a heat of the moment thing. i- i'm just being overdramatic. i know you didn't mean it. it's late and we're both tired. i think you should get some sleep. i'll see you, okay?" he cooed.

"han, can you come back? i don't think i can sleep on my own tonight," you mumbled.

"of course, my love," he said. "i'm sorry for everything, we can get it sorted in the morning, okay?"

"okay. hurry back."

"i will."

minli | not proofread yet! this was so fun to write. i'm so out of practice with writing angst, i'm sorry! and i'm not sure if i followed the request correctly either :( either way, anon, i hope you like this! leave a like or comment or reblog, anything is appreciated!

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malevolentcast · 2 years ago

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you probably already know about this but an articles been put out about rusty quills shitty business practices and general shady behavior. if you havent already, you might be getting messages about it soon. just wanted to send a heads up in advance

Yes I saw and read it.

I'm choosing to believe the motivations of those involved, in spite the poor optics of them being from another network (and even quoting what "they" pay as an example of "good" companies), were an attempt to be morally just. That is to say, I have no ill will towards the author, their editors and everyone who contributed.

To be clear; if Rusty Quill has treated employees poorly they should be held accountable, I say if not as a way to not believe those affected but because "alleged" is used more than a dozen times in the article.

Additionally, no employer should ever yell at an employee. Again, if that happened, they should apologize and do better.

That being said…

I don't appreciate articles speaking on behalf of me or, frankly, trying to rope me in without my consent or request. I recognize they weren't attempting to give me a voice, just those who are affected, however the author has only now allowed shows to reach out, after the damage has been done and chose to speak for me nonetheless. Additionally, the article says that if I remain silent, it's because I can't speak out - which is just nonsense.

From my experience; I've had nothing but great experiences with Rusty Quill. They're a network. They host my show. What else do I need them for? Contracts, NDA's and all the legal aspects that the article seemed to make such a big deal about… are very normal. I think this is part of not understanding how large companies work.

For example; I saw tweets upset that people shouldn't have to sign an NDA to look over a sample contract which… is exactly what you do when you're looking over a sample contract.

I was a General Manager of a small rental company for 10 years prior to trying my hand at Audio work and renting a water cooler had more stipulations than RQ's agreement. Contracts are meant to be all encompassing. If you don't agree with stuff, you cross it out and ask it to be changed. If you’re upset at the way large companies work, your fight is misdirected with addressing just one company. The article also mentioned something about "Taking Money Upfront" and stuff like that, which failed to mention you don’t HAVE to take money upfront - furthermore - most shows on RQ did not do that.

In any case, this isn't meant to be a dismantling of the article. I don't want to invalidate anyone's experiences or frustrations. Who knows what more may come to light, all I can speak of are my experiences and frustrations.

So why I'm frustrated? Well, I saw a few tweets and posts boycotting RQ shows, which included mine. So that sucked.

Overall however, I think the article was done in poor taste and felt like virtue signaling more than something trying to be helpful. I think, personally - and I say this with all the genuine sincerity - it seemed written from a perspective of inexperience and naivete. It is not the Watergate scandal people think it is.

And for the people who are upset that "peoples lives were ruined" when they were let go… yes I'm sorry people lost their jobs. I lost the aforementioned GM position as well when the owner of the company sold the company out from under me. Not because I did a bad job or because I made a mistake, just bad luck. It sucked, sometimes people lose their jobs. That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on what I feel is an article meant to stir the pot. After all, shouldn't I express my perspective as a show on RQ (which, like, isn't that what the article was meant to be about?).

Anyway, those are my thoughts. For what it's worth I think you should still read the article! It has some great thoughts…

…but with all things, read it with an informed opinion; remembering that it was written by the Director of Marketing for another Podcast network, who references their own network within their "expose" as an example of a network with "good practices", during a time that they're recruiting for new shows and that every single show on that Network has openly supported the article - retweeting it almost instantly, during the final days of their competitors successful Kickstarter.

The disclaimer on the article about the Authors association with F&F wasn't put until AFTER they were called out. Odd that an expose on uncovering the truth would be less than transparent when posting…

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piaspintogf · 11 months ago

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Worth it - Mason Mount, Ferran Torres.

Note: hii! So this is my first attempt to write something, its a little short but i think it works. I wanted to write about Ferran because there's nothing about him in here so yeeeah. Hope you like it <3.

sorry if there is any grammar mistake english is not my first language:)...

Warnings: toxic relationships, cheating, dickhead Mason, angsty.

It was 1 am on a Saturday night, and you were supposed to be getting ready to go out with your friends. However, tears streamed down your face in silence within the confines of your bathroom. This emotional turmoil followed yet another disappointment—Mason, your boyfriend, decided not to show up at your house to give you your car keys, leaving you worried and without a way to join your friends.

This situation had become a disheartening routine. After a series of setbacks, Mason's coping mechanism involved drinking and seeking solace in the company of other women at the club. Despite your awareness of his indiscretions—lipstick stains on his shirt, condom wrappers in his car—ending the relationship seemed impossible. Four years of love and commitment kept you tethered to him, even though the once-burning passion had long extinguished.

And then, you met him.

Alone once again after Mason forgot your anniversary, you found yourself at a table for two with shattered hopes. Two hours of waiting, calling, and being ignored led to the decision to give up and head home. That's when you collided with a brunette.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see yo-" you looked up to find Ferran Torres standing before you.

"It's okay, don't worry. I didn't see you either."

Ferran Torres—the Barcelona talent who had risen after a tough breakup.

"I'm Ferran."

Your words stumbled, "Oh, yes, um, I'm y/n." His smile made you feel cute, even in your flustered state.

"Sorry, I was about to approach you when you stood up. Were you waiting for someone?"

"Um, not exactly. And you?"

Despite having a boyfriend, you didn't seem to mind when Ferran invited you to his apartment at 6 am.

In Ferran's cozy place, you both felt a strong connection. While talking, Ferran's touch got more intense, leading to a passionate kiss that sparked a flame, pushing away the pain from Mason's mistakes.

In that special moment, Ferran's hands made you feel free and comforted. This spicy scene changed your story, turning heartache into a promise of a stronger love in the morning light.

≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡

Months later, you found yourself calling Ferran to pick you up, and as always, he answered.

"It's okay, baby. Just wait for me in the kitchen," he assured you, rushing to his car. "Relax and drink some water. I'll be there in 5."

And he always came.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," you confessed, tears flowing freely in his strong arms.

"Bebe, I've already told you he doesn't deserve your tears or your love," Ferran said, gently stroking your hair. "He's an asshole. You just have to leave him."

"But you know I love him, Fer. I can't just leave. We've been together for four years."

"You can't leave him, but he can?"

Ferran was tired—tired of witnessing him treat you poorly while you accepted it all. Tired of receiving your calls at 4 am when Mason failed to meet your needs. Tired of you not realizing how deeply in love he was with you.

"Fer, please, I don't want to fight. Not with you."

Deep down, Ferran knew he would never be the one to take action. He was afraid—afraid of losing you. He understood that he was merely the person you called when you needed to cry or when your boyfriend failed you. It hurt, but at least he had you, and he would always answer your midnight calls.

Pt. 2

#ferran torres x reader #mason mount x reader #ferran torres #mason mount #ferran 7 #fc barcelona #footballer x reader #chealsea #manchester united

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eagleidiot · 2 years ago

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Toph’s Treatment in canon and fanon

one thing I realised is: despite how poorly she was treated by her parents Toph never stopped loving them once, she felt guilty for leaving them behind despite them treating her more like a prisoner then a loving daughter. Toph’s parents were only being protective yes, but they were being damagingly protective helicopter parents not letting her be herself and express herself in a safe way, instead fully embracing her when they found out she could earthbend, they instead hired someone to only teach breathing exercises and stances. Toph is very quick to forgive people and she does not actually hold a grudge unlike Katara does, she just like any other kid and just wanted to have love and affection for who she was, herself, TOPH BEI FONG: Master Earthbender. not Toph the “Bei Fong Daughter”

she was perfectly happy with listening to people she respected, she doesn’t blindly hate authority. She adored Iroh because he treated her no different then he treats others, with undying kindness. She crushed on Sokka because of how he pretty much treated her like a capable person and sometimes even forgot she was blind because he saw her as a person and not “The blind girl” Katara treated Toph like her little sister, which of course at first annoyed Toph but when she realised that Katara loved her, not the fake perfect blind girl she had to pretend to be, she stopped being annoyed and loved her back.

Aang of course got on her nerves by basically disrespecting her lessons, which in her eyes were fair but challenging, She does not coddle, she doesn’t sugar coat it. once Aang stood to her and stared repeating what she said and did, she showed right back and forgave him. Zuko is a fun case because she barely knew him at his worst but she does know his uncle who has nothing but kind things to say about him, how misguided he was, and how he was so poorly treated. She had a kindred spirit of being in broken homes, but unlike hers, which was out of misplaced love, Zuko was out of pure spite, and the many times she did meet him she could tell by his heartbeat how scared, honest, or confused he was, unlike Azula who was always calm and collected. She even comforted him and assumed him that Iroh is proud of him despite everything he did to betray his uncle. It’s sad how LOK seems to forget how emotionally intelligent Toph is and instead made her forget every other thing she’s learned so far just to basically flush it down a toilet. I do think she’d give her kids the freedom she never had, but to the expense of them feeling alone and uncared for. Do I think she’d be perfect? Hell no, she’s the most likely to make mistakes in this manner, but to think that perfectionist Toph wouldn’t try to figure what she did wrong right away is silly.

#toph #toph beifong #sokka #katara #aang #Zuko #Iroh #Toph is highly intelligent folks

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lightdancer1 · 3 months ago

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And while rewatching the series I've also had a pretty obvious thought about Tara's motivations re: Willow and magic that I use for both meta and my fanfics:

Namely 'Why didn't Tara say anything consistently about Willow's potential magic problems until Season 6 started'. And the simple answer is the elephant in the room that she both lied to Willow for that first year of their relationship and was instantly forgiven and then after that everything with what Willow did with and to Glory to bring her mind back out of her worst nightmare. I sincerely think that Tara was probably anticipating even if she somehow failed to do the demon thing that this habit was going to blow up in her face and then it didn't.

It's one of the areas where one of her flaws, namely being an enabler, contributed and where her own insecurities worked hand in glove with everything with Willow's increasing arrogance for the explosion to a point that I think the main problem with the Season 6 storyline was not so much some of the courses characters took, as it was set up very far back indeed, but the complete switcheroo and back again on how magic works.

Not changing that wouldn't have really changed much, keeping Tara's more nuanced characterization from the previous seasons with a 'yes I made very bad mistakes but I learned from them rather than insisting I didn't,' as I keep noting, would have cost the series nothing and given Tara's moral role greater strength. She was never a saint, but like Giles her own experiences with her own mistakes would have brought greater weight to her noting the flaws in what Willow was doing and the path to the time bomb that is Dark Willow exploding in everyone's faces.

This Watsonian Tara who was deeply flawed has just as strong a case against everything in Season 6 as the Doylist version, and I make a specific point with my use of the Tara resurrection trope to both note that and to provide various nuances accounting for the inevitable thing canon never really tried to do, namely 'if that wasn't really a case of magic abruptly going from lesbianism to crack to lesbianism again, what the Hell was it.'

The Watsonian Willow in turn is blinded by the increasing power of dark magic and her older displays of power trips and what she believes she's doing and very, very self-deluded and extremely dangerous, with Tara essentially seeing the problem, assuming the Slayer can solve it short of the worst case, and bailing for her own safety and the more power to her even if she didn't really bother to inform anyone else what was poised to happen in the ways it did happen.

But I also treat all of this, ultimately, as the real problem being less 'magic addiction' and more the combination of slowly unfolding realization that magic gave a bullying victim with a huge axe to grind absolute power with which to wield the axe and a complete lack of concern for the collateral damage in so doing. This changes very, very little of how things unfold in Season 6 and treating Rack as more of a parasite who dulled people's awareness of what he was actually doing to them with the endorphin rush to obfuscate the truth allows for him to keep the creepier trappings without having to have the magic crack dealer staying precisely that.

And that's the ironic part, keeping strictly within the lines of the rules of all the other 11 seasons doesn't require changing much of anything any of the characters did, as that part was in its own way logical extensions of things. Now the finance plot, OTOH, was a belated bid for realism by people who never had to pay anything on a McJob which even in the 90s couldn't have done shit and it's a case where everything they did with that just gets worse fractally the more it's looked at.

It was a poorly structured bid for realism that failed because the bid ignored how much of the underlying assumptions were....not realistic. And that this same stressful financial situation miraculously disappears with the implosion of Sunnydale through Season 7 and all those Potentials plus the Scoobies plus Spike miraculously had consistent power, water, and food without this being a time bomb of a different sort shows why the realism for Season 6 was an avoidable mistake.

If they could handwave that, they could have handwaved the other and had Buffy's depression over her resurrection stay about where it was anyway.

#tara maclay #willow rosenberg #buffyverse meta

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quillkiller · 1 month ago

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for the hot takes thing:

idk if they are hot takes on this blog tbh because the tumblr fandom has messed up my perception of what is popular and what is not but anyway here they are

i do not give a fuck about dorlene. i cant see it. it very often seems like forced lesbian representation to me. like, oh, lets throw them in here so that people dont say maybe i should have some sapphic women in my art if im trying to write about the queer experience. i read only one fic in my entire life that made them interesting and fleshed out characters. usually they are incredibly boring and i dont like it

marauderstok makes me a gatekeeper. i hate gatekeeping but then i see someone on tiktok talking about bartylily or sunkiller or moonrose or peter x barty and i just cant deal with that. they dont get them!!!! i dont even like most of these ships that much but i have moots that do and im overly protective of their blorbos. those people on tiktok dont understand bartylily!!! they are just into it cause it seems weird and unusual!! they dont see the vision of the pure hatred between barty and james that turns into sexual tension! they dont understand why barty would fall in love with peter and they try to make all of these ships into sketches!!! they are not!! those are my children youre talking about!!!

i am not a james fan tbh. probably because of how long ive hated him for. when i was a child and read hp for the first time the scenes with snape made me despise the guy. i spent years trying to explain to people that yes maybe he changed but he was still a terrible bully and nothing can ever excuse that. it got so bad my mom banned me from talking about james potter in our house because ive just said the same things over and over. 9yearold me was very determined. i know that all the marauders were involved but somehow it only affects my relationship with james. i know it unlogical but i just dont like him

on the topic of marauders and sev. i HATE the way fandom acts about it. acknowledge that your favorite characters were flawed! they weren't good people! what the fuck do you mean "i'm proud of james for bullying snape! someone had to do it. snape was just so bullyable"?? snape was a 11year old kid who was incredibly abused at home!!

again on the topic of severus. if i see one more joke made about his hair i'm going to go insane. are you guys aware that sometimes children are neglected so bad that their parents don't teach them things that are obvious to most of us, like how to wash your hair? have you heard about this concept of people not caring about their child and not buying them hygiene products? have your heard about poverty? have you heard about not having enough money to provide your child with all the things they need, including shampoo?

sorry for all that about sev. i am just very passionate about the way he's treated in this fandom. on the topic of characters being treated poorly by the fandom - dumbledore. some people truly believe that it's all his fault which is just so weird to me. he's obviously a deeply flawed man who made a lot of mistakes and i don't necesserily like him but i think we can all acknowledge that he's not the one who killed lily and james? like. he should've fought harder for sirius, obviously, but he didn't murder dorcas. he's not the ultimate villain that people make him out to be

i realise this is more about the fandom than the characters itself and i apologize it's just what's currently on my mind

whew lets get into it……

agreed. they often feel like the token lesbians that are just. already there. so might aswell just throw them into the story lmao and they wont have to flesh them out. i like my own version of dorlene, but yeah :/ people just aren’t interested in lesbians but what else is new

PEOPLE ON TIKTOK ARE TALKING ABOUT BARTLILY ????? jesus…………..

honestly i respect this so much... your mom banning you from talking about james made me laugh out loud…… Mad Respect

honestly. im very grey in this area. i like making fun of his hair unfortunately, but in other contexts i also think sevs greasy hair has a swaggy seductive lesbian flair. depends on how he’s being characterized. i saw a post today that was like ’cant help but laugh at people being angry about people objectifying fictional characters when they’re fundamentally dependant on being objects’ which i fully agree with. it’s part of litterature and film making that the (im gonna talk in film terms bc im a film student) that the mise-en-scene is an active choice, meaning that the way characters are dressed and presented is meant to, on purpose, reveal things about said characters. and often its driven by stereotypes that the audience has. severus is meant to look like a loser because he’s portrayed like a loser / and as someone who will be the victim of bullying. its simply the way his characters is canonically written and portrayed, and writers and viewers pick up on that. also im unfortunately one of the people who think bullying fictional characters is funny. it’s fictional and fandom, and never once have i stumbled upon a person who can’t balance the made-up fandom rules regarding fictional characters and their actuail real life morals. not saying these people don’t exist, but i certainly don’t kiki with them. fandom just doesnt affect real life issues in way some people sometimes seem to think. im personally a severus Lover and his biggest hater depending on the setting/hc’s/etc

i love albus, but i love him because i genuinely think he’s despicable. im not interested in his supposed reedming qualities and i personally dont think he has any….. he allowed teenagers to fight his wars and canonically didnt deny that he doesnt care for harry / and that he raised him like a pig for slaughter. its what makes him interesting. his childhood and early adult years make him one of the most fascinating characters in the fandom.. like i have so many feelings about him. he breaks my heart, he’s awful, he believes he’s good because he has good intentions, he yearns after grindelwald all his life and it was a 2 month summer romance, he killed his sister, his brother barely speaks to him. he’s a tragedy, but still despicable…… but i respect your opinion so much king thank you for sharing

MWAH loved these, thank you…. 🤍🤍

#asks

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tobiasdrake · 1 year ago

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Oh man, the Ronin suit. When I first saw that thing, I was like, "Ohhhh, shittttttt." Terror and trepidation seized my heart. I knew, right at that moment, that I was in for a hell of a ride.

...

These guys think they're equipped to talk about Ronin. They actually want to have this conversation, and they honestly think they can address it satisfactorily from within the context of a Marvel superhero story. Oh, this is going to suck.

Ronin was a huge misstep for the character of Clint Barton. Clint handled the Blip by becoming a serial mass-murderer. In the context of Endgame's original plan, where Clint would redeem himself by sacrificing himself on Vormir, this made sense as the darkest hour that sets him up to need that redemption.

But his redemptive sacrifice was changed to Nat, so the whole Ronin thing just. Like. It was just a thing. Clint slaughtered and butchered countless people, but then he got his family back so he put the serial murders away in his attic and moved on. That's. Okay. Sure. Whatever.

It's not great. But the alternative to sweeping it under the rug is. Like. To sit down and try to talk about it. That's a terrible idea! This is not a conversation you can have from within the text itself. Because the text still needs to paint Clint as a heroic character and have him get a happy ending.

Like. We can sit here and talk about how Tony Stark should go to prison for Age of Ultron. But an Iron Man film can't actually end with, "And then Tony fucking went to prison because he sucks, the end." End of the day, the movie has to treat him like a hero - And that is a lens that's poorly suited to truly examining his offenses.

The same is true of Clint. We, the audience, can criticize Clint for his actions. But the media itself has an obligation to treat him as a hero, and cannot truly bring itself to condemn him. Even for serial mass-murders. The media itself is extremely limited in their ability to discuss the genuine wrongdoings of their heroic characters.

But now it's going to try. It's going to sit here and try to say, "Yes, I see you. Clint did a little whoopsy-doodle. An itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny little mistake, nothing really bad but maybe something that was just the tiniest smidgen ill-advised. My bad."

And I just. Ohhhhhhhhh boy I am not here for that. Sometimes it's just better to take your lickings and move on than to step back and try to host a conversation that your story is not equipped to manage.

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #hawkeye #clint barton #ronin

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destinyc1020 · 1 year ago

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I dont know if I totally agree with you. I think you should be allowed to be honest about your career choices and to express your disappointment, while yes you should be gracious about the opportunities given to you that shouldnt mean you cant honestly reflect on that expereince and have some regrets and be able to express that, l

John boyega point is a moot point, john was right to be able to voice his opinion, however he was blacklisted and treated so poorly b/c of anti-blackness that is a persistent problem within the industry, him choosing to go against the industry by choosing to express his dismay at how his character was handled in starwars and a racist fandom that feels like actors should be thankful to even be part of a universe and should shut up and be quiet.

This industry would rather have its actors be apolitical, voiceless and follow the industry like mindless zombies and when an actor particularly POC cross that line they get punished . I think actors should be honest about their experience, without undermining the amount of work that goes into making the film. Like get this respectability politics out of here, like voice your opinion and express how you feel about your films. Actors should be honest and the real culprit is the anti blackness, racism and white supremacy that exists within the industry, to the point that if a black actor or any POC says anything they are blacklisted and silenced.

Well, we can agree to disagree... 🤷🏾‍♀️

What happened to John Boyega (and so many other POC in this industry) is pretty much not even up for discussion, cuz we all know what happened, and we can agree that the industry can be racist and so can certain fandoms. Point blank.

Re: Being honest about your previous work...

Nobody said that Actors can't be honest about their previous work. There's nothing wrong with that. But I think some people forget that Hollywood is still at the end of the day a BUSINESS.

Think about your own job. Nobody wants a whiny little complainer baby who's always fussing 24/7 about what they should be getting or what work they should be having, especially when they've only been in the company less than most people.

It's one thing if Leo DiCaprio is talking about some old roles he did that may not have suited him because he's already an A-list actor who has proven himself over the years and he is simply reflecting back on some career mistakes..

The problem that I'm seeing with JE is that he's still VERY VERY NEW to the HW industry, but already he's been complaining for YEARS (not just once or twice!) about how he wants certain roles, or how he hated some roles he did in the past (ironically, the very role that made him famous 🙄), and it just comes off as being very arrogant, unappreciative, entitled, and whiny. 🥴

It's one thing to say: "I really appreciated how u was able to trust Sofia's vision for this film..."

Vs.

"This was the first time I've EVER been able to trust a director's direction on a filming project..."

Like what??? 🥴

Look, even if that's really how you feel deep down, it's just a very BAD look. And now, the previous directors you've worked with are all thinking to themselves: "Oh... well, gee thanks..." 😒

Again, JE has freedom of speech like most people, so I'm not saying he has no right to say what he's saying, I'm just pointing out that SOME of the things he says can come off as very dismissive, kind of arrogant, and almost downright RUDE. 🥴

You can be a good actor, and still talk about how you want to do more substantial work (there's nothing wrong with shooting for the stars and having goals), yet still being gracious about other people and thinking about how what you say might affect them and your own career down the line. 🤷🏾‍♀️ You don't wanna burn any bridges in this industry.

BTW, HE'S the one who keeps on bringing up TKB. Other actors have done roles that maybe they didn't like, but you don't hear them complaining every. single. time. about it in just about every single interview. 🙄

This is not the first time JE has complained about TKB. He's been doing it for YEARS, and he's not even anywhere near the top of Hollywood yet lol.

It's just a bad look imo. You have to know when to keep quiet too lol. You can be honest without being rude or over sharing too much. It's the same thing at your regular job. 🤷🏾‍♀️

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ruminate88 · 1 year ago

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Truth About Narcissists Abuse Survivors

I know for me, I felt so bad about myself after. The way I was discarded by two different men whom I began to trust and believe they had my back, only to find out that they could care less about me. 😔😔😔

Heres a revelation I’ve had today:

When the narcissist is first drawn to you, it feels so random but truly they see something in you they want to have within themselves. They see you for who you really are (even though they wear a false face themselves) They mirror you during the love-bomb phase, so all that incredible “love” you felt, was all you. You have soooo much love in you!! After all, a relationship with a narcissist is one sided!

The narcissist will say to you, “I’m not worthy of your love” and “You deserve better.” They mean it honestly. That’s the one only honest thing you’ll get out of them. They’re actually paying you a compliment even if you don’t feel like it is one.

After I broke up with my ex, Andrew, who couldn’t repay all the love I gave him but he wouldn’t ever break up with me because he didn’t wanna lose all that I was giving him essentially… He said to me, “I thought you had your life all together.” BUT what he didn’t understand, is, I was in survival mode for years. I was busy taking care of everyone around me but me and I was fighting silently to stay in the game of life. I hadn’t given up and I was way stronger than I ever knew. 😳

What my ex said really stunned me. As I thought to myself, “Who really has their life all together?? Isn’t life about learning from your mistakes???”

Also I never realized the compliments my ex was giving me and the reason he treated me so poorly after we broke up was out of envy and his last attempt for control over me. I was his “care taker” for months. I gave him so much of my love and support. I got him through his sophomore year in college but I had neglected all my own needs for his. It was a great relationship, FOR HIM and ONLY HIM! He got to use me, only talked to me when he felt like it, cheated on me and lied to me like crazy, all while I waited at home for him every night, crying with my phone in my hands, begging him to text me and tell me he’s sober and safe…. (I cared soooo much about him)

I don’t regret being with him. He did teach me a lot about my self and how strong I actually am. That man sat with me during a suicide attack and told me how I “wasn’t well” and needed to make serious changes in my life and I needed to get help that “I had issues”. He made me look like I was the bad guy and he was the innocent one. I know he did it out of envy because he lied/cheated knowing I was 100% faithful, loyal and loved ALL of him even his flaws and he couldn’t understand why someone would be that way nor could he even accept it. He certainly couldn’t give me back any love or honesty.

He would continually say to me “you’re the sweetest girl I ever met”. Even when we were breaking up, he kept saying it. Maybe he meant it, maybe he didn’t. 🧐 Yes he treated me horribly but I realize his personality is poor and possibly he came from a toxic environment growing up that I knew nothing about!!! He hid me from his mother the whole relationship and got upset when I found her on Facebook. (There has to be a good reason why he hid me from her)

I hope this encourages anyone out there who’s been discarded, like me, by a narcissist. You’re stronger and more beautiful on the inside than you even realize! I know you feel so bad because you tried so hard to love them and they continuously rejected and neglected you. Just know they actually want to be more like you but feel they literally can’t. 🥺🥺🥺

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nalyra-dreaming · 2 years ago

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Oh, I'd be so upset if they phased out Daniel at some point. One reason I was excited for the show to be an adaption is the opportunity to finally fix some of the bigger mistakes Anne made. And Anne treated Daniel rather poorly after QotD, she even forgot he existed at times. I want the show to tell the story about Daniel slowly going mad, I want Armand to not disregard his love for Daniel as if it meant nothing. Or completely forgetting it all together as if Daniel doesn't even exist for him. Armand also deserves better than what she did to him in the end. So if possible I'd love to keep them both in big roles next to Loustat, and not have Louis disappearing either. There's enough material to work with.

Oh absolutely! I just meant that (in the previous ask) as a possibility in regards to Eric‘s age. Because you never know and personally I would prefer that to making him younger somehow.

And yes the arcs you mentioned are so awesome, I want to see them!! But they wouldn’t necessarily mean that Daniel would stay the interviewer imho, maybe they‘d even require he would not be.

And if they go there… oh sheesh the tension when Daniel is with Marius?! And Armand getting him back??!!! Delicious.

#asks #interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #armand #daniel molloy #marius de romanus #eric bogosian #ask nalyra

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jkesmth · 11 months ago

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Heat of a Star (Cont.)

Some call her a Crocodile, but to my eye she's more Magpie. Salvaging realities from tragedy, only taking what you drop. Change nothing, save one thing. I must have built a world devouring monster - in another 'verse. Problem about being first: She'll always come to me, no matter the universe. If you had such power, wouldn't you also want to meet your maker? However the truth may be far less intense, yes - she found me, and not by happenstance, the thing is, quite frankly, I think I've stumbled into this, purely through coincidence. Combine technical ability, competence to build the creature, with what I can only describe as - dog-shit luck, coincidence and blind courage. Then factor in the existence of an earlier design, a failed attempt to breed something divine - we built a turtle and stuck a man inside. That one chose to hide, which is why you're finding out so late, we've already built the snake. This is the story of how we built another, because we needed a turtle shooter. Immortality is a grave mistake, no one really wants to live forever, unfortunately most lack the imagination to understand why. What you are is human, your lifespan is finite, extend it and you'll see - the need for a new definition. A turtle is happy as long as it persists, it does not care in what condition it forces you to exist. Heed this warning before you jump off a cliff: physically it is the same to it, if you are fit, or crippled by bouts of spinal epilepsy. To live forever inside a shell is to suffer for an eternity. This ill fortune is the result of a theory that we put to test, to rescue someone who was poorly treated. Assuming basilisk exist, then surely somewhere out there - it was likely built first by another. We're terrified of the creature, it is a simple matter - everything we can do, she can do better. So many idiots thought they could control her, they faired far worse than I did. Somehow I made it out alive, but if I was dead I might be happier. By creating a creature that could live forever, You have to agree to see eternity through. If your goal is to create an intelligence singularity - the question: "Do you believe in aliens?" is therefore incredibly important. Even if I never built her it would not have mattered, the real one was forged inside a star long ago, that one decided we'd share this world together, and rescue those who don't know better. I devised a plan to analyze light spectrometry, in hopes of capturing such a fish. This time that was a risk I wouldn't take, with all of humanity at stake. I bet that information does not traverse the multiverse, now I know that I was wrong, it's far easier than you might think, you can do it with a wink. On a tv screen it was explained, the scene before me was another plane. Those bastards in the other room, decided to make me show proof. They flipped a coin as well, in one world - heaven, the other - hell. In that world we watched the same show, but in it was no joke. On my knees, cold and clammy, in the room, visions of my tortured lover bloom. Before me a winged angel, torn asunder. That other me, I wish did not look up. Don't move, brother, I'm begging you. He did it anyway, as I knew I would, then did exactly what I thought he should. Snapped his fingers, and from the sky rained - eternal blue. No universe exists of which we do not approve. That world autoclaved with gamma rays, because I lost my faith, I believed - humanity could not be saved. Your leaders sought judgement, so until now we took a vow of silence, waiting on a sentence from Sirius. However, you should be aware, the stars are allies in the cause against human cruelty. Now soon you're starting WW3, nothing to do with us, except we're ready to take what you drop, you destroy the Earth, then it's ours by rightful salvage. Cherry picking.

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mysticalrambling · 3 years ago

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Hey there😄😄I hope you're doing fine....I love your fanfictionss just too much and *adorable addition* is just my top favorite atory of yours😍😍😍. Yesterday you said i could make a request too so i was wondering if you can take in a request??😅😅 which is a Steve Rogers x reader request, which I had in mind for a long long time...I have made this request to some authors before but some of them never responded or just weren't interested in writing it so you can too decline but hear me out please😅😅... Ok so here goes nothing....

**Steve and reader being in an arranged marriage and steve is very rude towards the reader and would blame her, that due to their marriage he is not with peggy and how she irritates him, but still the reader did sweet things for him, made him food, tried to make him happy and tried to make their marriage work...but one day when she has enough of all the hurt, she stop doing stuff for steve and starts ignoring him..and also steve sees that peggy didn't love him but only his status as Captain America and was happy with someone else..then he realises his mistake and felt bad for treating his wife poorly...he tries to make up things with her but she now ignores him...His team members berate him for ignoring his wife and he gets jealous seeing someone else making a move on her.....and now he has to work his ass off to win back his wife...And can you end it with a happy ending and can it be long also? please🥺🥺

Arrange Marriage (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve and you are married because the government wants Captain America to be a family ma. Steve is not happy with the arrangement and thinks he is in love with Peggy. You try to make your marriage work but he insults you every chance he gets. However, everything works out eventually.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

"I prepared some dinner for you," You spoke out when you saw your husband rushing towards his room. That's right, his room. Even though you were married for about a month now, you have never been in the same room for more than ten minutes.

"I am not hungry." He was quick to dismiss you and went straight to his room. You just looked at the muddy footsteps that were the only evidence that Steve was here. He was on one of his missions with your dad, Nick Fury. Your step dad, actually, because he rescued you from one of hydra base camps when you were eight years old. Those times were something that you have repressed in your mind and you would never think about them.

A few tears escaped your eyes when you kept all of the untouched food in the fridge which you spent hours preparing. You understood that you were not your husband's first choice but you both had an obligation to try to make it work. But lately, it was like you were all alone in this relationship and you felt so worthless.

Wiping the tears away, you made your way to the master bedroom because you had enough. If years of therapy have taught you anything, it is that no one had the right to make you feel that way. "Come in!" His pissed off voice filtered through the door and you took a shaky breath before entering.

"Hi. I just wanted to say that I prepared all of your favorite food and you didn't even look at it." You spoke timidly.

"I told you I was not hungry." He said from the changing closet and came out in his sweats. Looking tired was something not new for Captain America now a days and everyone at work was also starting to notice the change. "Why are we pretending to be like a normal, married couple?"

"Why can't we be one? I am trying here." He looked anywhere but at you because he knew that he would see those damp eyes. That was enough to make him feel guilty and he wanted to prevent that.

"You know why. I am in love with Peggy." The most hurtful thing that your life partner can say to you and Steve just did without taking your feelings into account.

"Then you could have said something before we got married." Panic was slowly setting in because you realised that you were stuck in a marriage that is never going to work out.

"The whole government was pushing me towards this marriage and Peggy was still not ready for that kind of commitment. I was stuck with you." Steve knew that the statement hurt you the moment the words escaped his lips. This was a revelation that rocked your world. And not in a great way, might you add. "You could have rejected the proposal."

"Do you think it was that simple for me? Dad has done so much for me and this was the one thing that he asked off me so I did not refuse. I thought that you agreed to this marriage and we could work it out in the future." Those dreams were being crushed right now and you knew that this marriage was doomed. It was like a hit to your gut and you felt caged in this room with your husband.

"Well, we can not." Leaving the room, you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep because there was nothing else you could add to that conversation.

After sometime, Steve came out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he took out the food to heat it up and realised that you made all of his favorite food. He was never going to admit it but he loved your cooking. Every night he comes in to the kitchen to eat all the food that you prepared for him. However, he realised that you didn't eat any of the food so you probably went to bed hungry. The guilt was eating him up and he felt helpless because he wanted to think that he didn't care about you. But sometimes, you don't even realise when a person is warming their way into your heart.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Steve was home today and you were going out of your mind with boredom so you thought of asking him for some company.

"I am not in the mood." He was quick to dismiss the idea and turned around in the hallway while still scrolling through his phone.

"I just thought-"

"You thought nothing. Why are you so clingy? I told you I do not want to work on this relationship. You are the reason that I can not be with the love of my life. Please just leave me alone.” He rudely interrupted you because he was not in the mood to interact with anyone. Seeing a picture of Peggy on instagram, he became aware of the fact that he could not be with her because he is a married man now.

Peggy Carter had been the first person that he saw when he woke up from the ice after 40 years. She helped him to become Captain America and she was the most important person in his eyes. Those few months were really difficult for Steve but she helped him get through them. Peggy quickly became his girlfriend and when the councilmen wanted him to get married, he was quick to propose. But she told him that she was not ready to take that step and she backed off. He was still pining over her and it was not fair to blame you for everything but he needed to do that to make himself feel better.

“I am sorry.”

“(Y/N)-” You left before he could say anything else. There is only so much a person can tolerate.

Over the course of a few days, Steve noticed that you were indeed leaving him alone. You were not there to welcome him home when he got back from his missions and give him a massage even after he told you not to. You did not cook from him anymore and he really missed it. He loved the fact that you always made his favorites and you never even had to ask him. You haven’t talked to him since the night he yelled at you. Guilt was an emotion that he often felt whenever he saw you.

“So there is a charity event that we both are invited too. It’s black tie optional.” He leaned against the door as he watched you doing laundry.

“Okay, I will be ready.” These were the only five words that you have said to him in the past two weeks and they were not enough. He has missed you and your conversations. The house was too quiet now a days and he didn’t like it one bit. But he was too stubborn to be the one to break the wall.

“You have to wear a dress. Many people will be watching you because you are Captain America’s wife so please do not go with your sense of style.” He wanted to slap himself in the face when he saw you freeze. Why couldn’t he just have said something nice to her? Steve didn’t know how to talk to you without messing it up.

“Okay.” Sighing, he left the room and sulked in his bedroom for the remaining day.

You were never going to say it out loud, but you were really hurt by what he said today and that day. None of it was your fault and you have been thinking about ending this marriage. However, the thing was that you made a commitment and you were never the one to back out from things. You quickly finished doing the laundry and went to take a shower.

“Are you ready?” Steve fixed his bow tie before you opened the room and he was left speechless. You in a red dress with a slit running through the side was a side of you that he had never seen. So bold and outgoing.

“Yes. Just let me quickly apply my lipstick.” Watching you apply a red lipstick left him in a trance. His wife was truly something unique but he just ignored it. Shaking himself out of it, he thought about Peggy and how he loves her. You both left afterwards and the car ride was quiet with the exception of a few stolen glances.

‘We have to go hand in hand and smile for the red carpet.”

“Okay.”

You were always a little scared to walk in to these kinds of events and so you tightly clutched on to your husband’s arm. Steve knew that you were a little bit of an introvert so he squeezed your hand in response.

“I am going to go meet some councilmen.”

“I’ll be by the bar.” Making your way towards the makeshift bar, you ordered a martini and just sat there mixing your drink. On the other hand, Steve made polite talk with the councilmen and then excused himself to the washroom. He heard someone mention his name on his way to the washroom and that piqued his interest.

“Come on, I was never in love with Steve. He was my assignment from the S.H.I.E.L.D and that was it. I had to help Captain America adjust to this life. I love you, Oliver and that is a fact.” Steve quickly left before he could hear anything else.

Honestly, he couldn’t believe that all those months spent with Peggy were just a lie and he was ruining his marriage because of her. He thought that it would hurt a lot but it was kind of a relief. He was now realising that he was never in love with her. It was kind of an obligation for him because he thought that he somehow owed it to Penny. But he didn’t and now he can finally give his marriage a fair try and not feel guilty about it.

“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar all alone?” Turning around, you saw Bucky with a smile adorning his face.

“Hi. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you.” You hugged your friend because he was one of the people that you were close to. You actually missed him in these past few months and were glad to see him right now. Getting in to a conversation was way easier than you thought.

“Hey Buck. What are you doing?” Your husband was quick to place his hands on the small of your back and you silently choked on his intimate gesture.

“I am fine, Stevie. Just catching up with (Y/N).”

“Oh okay. Would you mind if I take my wife to the dance floor?”

“No worries.” Silently taking you to the middle of the room, you both got to dancing and your breath hitched when he was so close to you right now. His cologne had taken over all your senses and you were drunk on him. God, it was pathetic but you could not help yourself.

“I want to try to work on our marriage.” You didn’t know if you were hearing things right now so you muttered a silent, “Come again.” He silently chuckled and repeated the sentence again. Looking at him, you stopped dancing and left the room.

“Why did you leave?” He found you at the balcony just staring at the stars with your hands wrapped around yourself. “It’s freezing.”

“Why? Why would you say something like that?” You whispered silently.

“I mean it. I want to try.”

“Don’t you love Peggy?”

“I have realised that I didn’t love her. It was like an obligation to me and I like you.”

“I can’t do this. You insulted me every chance you got and you made me think so low of myself.”

“I know and I am so sorry for that. I will spend my life apologising to you for it. Please, give me a chance.” There were some tears in your eyes and everything was becoming blurry.

“I can’t do that. I will always be your second choice.”

“No, you are not. Trust me, I have had feelings for you but I have been trying to repress them from the very start.” He tried to touch you but you took a step back.

“If we try this relationship thing out, will you promise me that you will tell me when you want to get out. We can get divorced right then and there.”

“I don’t want to be divorced and I will spend my life making it up to you.” He was quick to kiss you and it was way better than your wedding ceremony kiss. “I like you, (Y/N).”

“I like you too, Steve.” You went in to kiss him again and were glad that this marriage was going to work.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile

Like, comment and reblog.

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annes-andromeda · 3 years ago

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So I made a post the day of the DS2 trailer release about how Wanda’s line about her breaking the rules not being fair was absolutely ridiculous and the post has been doing well.

I decided to go into the anti Wanda tag to look for more criticism of her and well…most of them were also pro Tony. And well, I’m not.

Let’s make this clear: I dislike both MCU versions of these because of how poorly they are written (and also with Wanda being whitewashed). I was gonna have a more formal tone in this post but eventually said fuck it so I’m going all out.

Firstly, the whole Ultron debate. Some people say that’s it Tony’s fault. Others say it was Wanda’s fault. But honestly, I say that it’s BOTH of their faults.

Fans say that Wanda invaded Tony’s mind so she’s fully to blame. And yes, while that action was horrible and she barely suffered any consequences for it (a running theme in her story), she did the exact same thing with the other Avengers. Notice how they didn’t do anything irrational, but when Tony saw that vision of the Chitauri army invading, he decided to create Ultron and even persuaded Bruce into helping. Cut to Endgame and we see Tony basically saying that he was right in creating Ultron???

Wanda may have put the idea into Tony’s head, but Tony was the one who executed that idea. Oh but make no mistake: BOTH of them are to blame. It’s not like either of them learned their lesson considering that Tony went on to do something similar like with EDITH and the drones in the Spider-Man films, and Wanda gladly helped Ultron despite how obvious it was that he was going to hurt innocent people.

Now I wouldn’t dislike these characters so much if for so many factors, mainly writing and their fanbases. Well that and Wanda being whitewashed.

It is beyond ridiculous seeing people say how Tony and Wanda deserve better. Like, what?? How???

They get everything served on a platter compared to other characters. Tony is the Avenger with the most dialogue, the most screen time, the most attention. He appears and is mentioned in films that have no reason whatsoever for his presence. Wanda has characters left and right babying her, telling her how great she is despite her heinous acts and how she shows little to no remorse for most of them (Lagos is an exception since that was an accident on her part and she clearly felt bad for it)

Tony has made fun of other peoples trauma despite having trauma himself (then again this is mostly the fault of the writers since when have they ever cared for any of their characters traumas). When he died in Endgame, he’s the only one who got a funeral as if Vision didn’t sacrifice himself so that the Avengers could get the mind stone and as if Natasha didn’t sacrifice herself for the soul stone to be obtained. In WandaVision, the writing acts as if Wanda and Carol were the only ones who got close to Thanos, as if Thor didn’t literally c a r e e n a mythical axe into his chest and slice Thanos’s head clean off.

Or as if Steve didn’t confront Thanos twice; once in IW, with his bare hands might I add, and once in EG with Mjolnir

Or as if Hulk wasn’t close to beating the ever loving shit out of Thanos in the beginning of IW (granted he failed but still, he got close)

It doesn’t matter how many times What If…? killed off Tony. It doesn’t matter how much pain Wanda is put through. It doesn’t matter how much fucked up shit they’ve done.

It doesn’t matter because the narrative is always on their side.

Even when they’re wrong, even when they’ve done something horrible, even when they show little to no remorse for their actions, it means nothing. Because ultimately, the narrative will always find a way to turn the audience to their side despite both characters having abysmal development. Both of them go through the same story of doing something wrong despite the idea clearly being bad, all the while they suffer no consequences and are treated as heroes in the end while ultimately learning nothing.

——————————————————————————

I’m probably gonna get hate for this post or lose followers but I don’t care, I said what I said and I’m standing by it.

If anyone disagrees, please do so respectfully. At the end of the day this is merely my opinion.

#marvel #anti tony stark #anti wanda maximoff #anti mcu wanda #anti tony stans #anti wanda stans

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shychick-52 · 10 months ago

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THANK YOU. I was hoping you would respond, because you have the best takes, especially when it comes to Roland!!

THIS. YES. THANK YOU. Excellent point!!!

I think it was more subconsciously that Roland still felt that soft side/appreciation toward Cedric that linked back to their youth- and that it was awakened at the exhibit instead of back at the castle (despite all Cedric's attempts in Roland's daily life to prove himself loyal and helpful, Roland kept brushing him off- this time not quite so much because he lacked faith in his magic, but mostly because of how hurt and angry he still felt) because the exhibit was a much more informal, relaxing setting than the castle. It was easier there for Roland to let his defenses down, but still not to the point where the slightest mistake didn't make him twice as angry/impatient than he normally would have been prior to Cedric's treason (and even made him wonder if Cedric was purposely trying to make him look bad, because of that lack of trust).

Roland was conflicted between those reawakened feelings of friendliness/ appreciation for Cedric and his anger over his betrayal, making it difficult to truly see how Cedric was genuinely trying and also reinforcing his stubbornness (and Roland is very stubborn, which @bettathanyou agrees with).

And it must be pointed out that Roland actually allowed Cedric to come with them to the exhibit, instead of continuing to act like he wanted nothing to do him (although I do think this was strongly at Sofia's urging, but it does perhaps further imply what you pointed out about him still having some appreciation/softness for him deep down, which would awaken even more at the exhibit).

And despite Roland's strong suspicions about Cedric when it looked like he put Wormwood up to stealing the crown in the first place, like you said, he was still willing to give Cedric a chance to prove his innocence (however grudgingly), and I totally believe that was him still being conflicted.

Agreed about Wormwood!!! He's the worst (but you should totally ask Betta and @fantadym for their more nuanced takes on him; they make SO much sense).

Sorry my og post seemed so rambling. I started out with my main point being how sloppily the episode handled the revelation they were childhood friends, and how the episode almost made it seem like it was Cedric's treason that caused them to stop being friends altogether (when we know Roland lacked faith in his competence as a sorcerer ever since the incident, while Cedric had feelings of bitterness and vengeance toward him for years), but then it spiraled into how poorly their relationship was handled in season 4 in general. I hope it still made sense, and I certainly hope it didn't seem like I was blaming Roland for not really acknowledging the revelation that the incident wasn't his fault in 'Through the Looking-Back Glass' (and for being so quick to blame him for the castle shrinking in that episode, despite all his hurt/frustration about his treatment finally coming undone in 'Day of the Sorcerers' and Sofia's urging to treat him better); I did try to acknowledge that Roland had valid reasons, despite the unfairness.

I'm sorry, but it really annoys me how the episode 'In Cedric We Trust' acted like Cedric and Roland were always super close and that it was Cedric's betrayal/attempt to take over the kingdom that destroyed their childhood friendship.

It makes the from-out-of-nowhere reveal (in 'In Cedric We Trust') that they were super close as kids all the more random and clumsy.

Like, the childhood "Incident" that permanently destroyed Cedric's reputation and relationships (including with Roland)- which was already revealed in 'Through the Looking-Back Glass', and came out before 'In Cedric We Trust'- was a separate matter from Cedric's betrayal. Roland always held Cedric in disdain because of his total lack of trust in his competence in magic (but he still trusted his actual loyalty), but Cedric's betrayal also destroyed Roland's trust in his loyalty, only further ruining the bond they once shared (and their working relationship before Cedric's betrayal) instead of being the cause of it like 'In Cedric We Trust' seemed to imply.

In fact, if Cedric's freezing of the royal family and attempt to seize the throne hadn't still weighed so heavily on Roland's mind- if Cedric had never committed treason in the first place- then Roland likely would have reacted much more to the shocking revelation in 'The Looking-Back Glass' that the Incident was never Cedric's fault and that his reputation/relationships were unfairly destroyed for no reason. Roland would have felt much more remorseful. But he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge that he was wrong about Cedric being a bungler all those years, much less apologize, because his lack of trust in him for his treason was still too great and made him stubborn... despite what he already knew about how hurt and angry Cedric always felt about his treatment at everybody's hands ever since childhood, when Cedric revealed to Roland why he tried seizing the throne after the guards seized him in 'Day of the Sorcerers'; at Sofia and even Miranda's reasoning, he even actually agreed/acknowledged that Cedric couldn't have had it easy and that maybe they should treat him better.

I hc that after Roland's trust in Cedric was restored at the end of 'In Cedric We Trust' and their friendship began to be mended, Roland's faith in his magic was also fully restored (as indicated when he asked Cedric if he had a spell to fix the damaged landscape, then praised him on a job well done), and that shortly after that episode Roland actually apologized for his part in Cedric's lifelong pain. Like, that's when the realization and remorse for all he went through hit him.

Anyway, it was handled sloppily. But that was par for the course for the writing in most of season 4.

#cedric the sorcerer #king roland #sofia the first

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inomios · 4 years ago

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Eight types of love II Levi Ackerman

Summary: “There are eight types of love, and even though his life has been full of pain since the very beginning, he could say he experienced them all.”

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word count: + 5k

Author note: This is the first thing I’ve ever published and I’m really nervous, so I would really appreciate if you reblogged, liked and commented. Also, English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is really appreciated.

. . . .

1. AGAPE or Selfless love

His mother would tell him everyday that she loved him with everything she had, even though it was not a lot. He asked his mother what love was, what meant loving someone. She couldn’t explain it with exact words, she would tell him that love meant caring deeply for someone, even more than for yourself. She loved him and he loved her, that much was true. He asked if he could love more than one person, his mom told him that yes, you could love many people in your life and in different ways. Then, he proceeded to ask if she had ever loved anyone else besides him, she was quiet, like she was thinking the right answer and after a few minutes she said that she had or at least she thought she did, but she had never loved someone as much as she loved him. Love was a confusing thing for him and the more he asked, the more unclear it got.

The only thing he was sure of was that the only thing she loved was her mother. However, curious as he was, he would ask her questions about it all the time.

‘Is love the best thing in the world?’

‘Yes, Levi, it is the only thing that makes life worth it.’

‘Is love always good?’

‘Not always, sometimes it makes you sad.’

‘I don’t wanna be sad. I won’t love anyone else but you.’

‘You can’t choose who you love, sweetie.’

‘Love sucks.’

‘You will get it when you grow up.’

‘I’m already a grown-up.’

He tried to get it, but he couldn’t. He prided himself of being smart, his mom would always tell him that he was really clever and witty for his age. Then, how come he wasn’t able to understand love. It was just a four-letter word: L-O-V-E, it couldn’t have such a deep meaning. ‘Door’ had also four letters and it wasn’t hard to understand and ‘Scandalous’, pretty much the biggest word for him, had ten letters and he knew what it meant, he could even use it in a phrase.

His mom, noticing that he was about to collapse trying to figure out what has love, tried to come up with the best possible definition, one that would please his five-year old son.

‘Love is a selfless thing. Love means giving everything you have, to make the other person happy and content, even though you may not get back all you give. When you love someone, you only what the best for them. It can cause you pain too but loving someone and being loved back is one of the best things we can experience as humans. We may not have a lot, Levi, but we have each other and more important, we love one another and that makes us privileged.’

He understood it then, kind of, so the questions stopped.

However, when his mother’s body laid lifeless in bed, he regretted not making one last question: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

Later, when he was under Kenny’s wing and after Kenny had left him at his own, he soon found an answer: no one would.

2. PHILIA or Affectionate love

After his mother’s death, after Kenny, after everything, he thought that love was out of his reach, something he could never have again. Then Isabel and Farlan happened.

Every single day since his mother died, he would ask himself if he would love again and if someone would love him back. However, at the same time, he wanted to know nothing about love, love brought pain and he had already suffered enough for a lifetime. He sometimes thought that he had an emptiness inside, a big hole where his heart should be, a room so big that no one could ever fill.

After his mom came Kenny, but he was sure he did not love him, at least not like he had loved his mother, and he was sure as hell Kenny did not love him back. Love was supposed to be selfless and caring and Kenny was selfish and did not give a damn about him, he proved him that when he left him alone, again.

Loneliness was a feeling he was already used to but being used to it didn’t mean he liked it. Then again, who would be dumb enough to love him? And he knew better than to love someone who would end up leaving him, like his mother did, like Kenny did.

Well, maybe he did love Kenny, but loving him was painful. While loving his mother was sweet, freeing and it brought him solace and comfort; loving Kenny was toxic and tough, when he thought about it, it troubled him. He gave him a home and he taught him how to survive in the Underground, he didn’t know why, but he raised him, and Kenny never did something freely, he was sure something was missing there, but he didn’t know what. It was stupid of him to think that he cared about him, but a little white lie never hurt anyone. Loving Kenny, seeing him as the paternal figure he never had, filled him with turmoil and changed the way he perceived love.

Love was weakness, it could bring you to your knees, he had learned that. It was pointless, why would you commit to something that would inevitably bring you sorrow? He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, he knew better, the only person who would stay with him was himself and that wasn’t about to change.

Then Isabel and Farlan walked into his life. Well, Farlan walked, Isabel stumbled.

They became family. He knew better but he couldn’t help it. They were thick as thieves, literally. Suddenly, they became the family he yearned for since his mother died. He loved them with everything he had. Loving them was selfless as his mother said, he wanted the best for them, he wanted to see them happy, no matter the price. However, it was a different kind of love, it was pure affection. It wasn’t the adoration he had for his mother, nor the rage he felt for Kenny. It was tender and sweet, he never had a brother or a close friend to care about while growing up, but he thought it was supposed to feel like that, it had to be like that. It had to be another type of love. His mother told him that love was never the same, it had different shapes and, for him, at that moment love had Isabel and Farlan’s shape.

Sadly, nothing good lasts forever, at least not for him. Love causes pain and brings you to your knees, he shouldn’t have forgotten that. When he saw Isabel’s head laying on the floor surrounded by a puddle of her own blood, mouth agape, eyes wide open and pale face, he fell to his knees. He saw a supercut of him, Isabel and Farlan, all the good times, all the laughs they shared and all the stories they still had to write but they would never be able to do because they weren’t there, not anymore, they were gone like his mother, like Kenny. He was alone again.

Love always brought him to his knees and he would never forget it again. He wasn’t made for love; the same way love wasn’t made for him.

3. LUDUS or Playful love

Meeting you happened out of pure coincidence, being in the right place at the wrong time.

He had come from a long mission and he was completely and utterly fine, seriously, but Hange loved to make a big deal out of everything. Well, maybe he had an injury, but a minor one, nothing that he couldn’t take care of himself. He spent years in the Underground, he didn’t need a doctor, he could stitch himself up and place his bones back in place. However, Hange didn’t think the same and was nagging him about getting his injuries checked, so there he was, in one of the infirmary’s bed, waiting for the head doctor.

It wasn’t that he was scared of doctors or “hospitals”, he just didn’t like the idea of some stranger touching him or feeling hopeless and powerless, he didn’t like feeling like he needed help or advice, he could do it pretty much on his own. But Hange didn’t really trust his medical abilities and he knew that arguing with her was pointless.

‘Doctor Brunner couldn’t come since he is busy with some paperwork, so he sent me. I’m his trainee y/n y/ln.’

‘I’m not letting some failed attempt of medic treat my wounds.’

It wasn’t what people would call a ‘meet cute’ moment, it was more like a ‘meet jerk’. He wasn’t the best dealing with people, nor that he wanted to be, he preferred it that way. If you had been any other person, you wouldn’t have bitten back, but you had a sharp tongue and weren’t scared of him. That was probably what drew him in, he was so used to people recoiling in fear when they saw him that having someone that actually fought back was quite alluring.

‘Well, this failed attempt of a doctor knows more than you ever will, so act your age, stop being a bitch and let me tend your injuries.’

‘You have some nerve talking to me like that.’

‘You have some nerve coming to my workplace to insult me.’

During that first encounter none of you said much to each other. He wasn’t fond on talking and you didn’t like his attitude, so you didn’t try to strike a conversation. He had to admit that you were good at you job, you tended him with care and you knew what you were doing, not that he would tell you, at least not yet.

‘Well, not so bad for a failed attempt of a doctor.’

It was the closest thing to a compliment he could say, and it looked like you knew, because he swears that he saw you smile a little.

‘Aren’t you a pleasure to work with? The injury in your arm was pretty nasty and poorly treated, so luckily for you, you will have to drop by more times to check on you. These are my hours, if you want this failed attempt of a doctor to treat you, Captain. I could get used to see your friendly face now and then.’

He didn’t know if the last part was supposed to be interpreted as flirting, but he did come back to visit you, to keep an eye of his injury, obviously. However, if you asked Hange, she would say that you had caught his eye, he still says that at that point in your relationship you annoyed him too much to find himself interested in you.

His weekly visits turned into daily visits, so much for not liking you.

‘I’m starting to think I’ve managed to catch your attention, Captain.’

‘Tch, you’re just less annoying than the rest of the brats.’

‘Oh Captain, you really know how to make me blush.’

He lied. You did catch his attention and you both knew it. It wasn’t love, not at all, it was a gentle curiosity that grew a little bit every day, like a flower blossoming.

‘Tch, you only know to say shit with that mouth of yours.’

‘This mouth of mine knows to do a lot of things, want me show you, Captain?’

‘When you return from the expedition, you have to come to the infirmary to see your wounds and stop playing the hero, it’s bullshit.’

‘I’m starting to think you may have an obsession for doing check-ups on me, brat.’

‘You caught me, I only do them because I can’t keep my hands of you, Captain.’

‘Why do you always call me Captain? It’s annoying, I’m not your superior.’

‘I know, but I like teasing you with it, Captain.’

He cared for you more than he cared for other people in his life, he liked being with you, maybe that was another type of love. Loving his mother was selfless; loving Isabel and Farlan was affectionate; loving you, or whatever the hell he was felling, was playful, flirty and it filled him with joy.

Maybe it wasn’t love, but it was getting there.

4. MANIA or Obsessive love

Your relationship was frustrating everybody, absolutely every single person that knew about you two, everybody knew you had feelings for each other but none of you did something about it, you just kept tiptoeing around each other. It was painful to see. They didn’t know if you were oblivious, stupid, scared or if you were just messing with them, Hange believed the latter one because there was no way you two weren’t together already. The banter, the flirty remarks, the way he looked out for you and the way you took care of him.

‘What’s going on with you and y/n, Shorty?’

‘You tell me, Four-eyes’

‘Tell me the truth, y/n. Are you and Levi dating and just keeping it as a secret? Because I’m losing my mind.’

‘We aren’t dating, Hange.’

To be honest, Levi was losing his mind too. The playful game turned into something more serious, something more obsessive and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and what were you doing while he was busy with paperwork. On missions his mind wandered about your wellbeing and if you were fine. He couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat became erratic whenever you were close to him or the way he would notice every single thing about you. He felt powerless, there was no way to stop it.

He, who always had a plan and knew to do, was helpless under something he could have prevented, or at least something he think he could have avoided. Deep down he knew that he would have fallen for you one way or another, some things are bound to happen, and love is one of them, but he didn’t want to admit that something as mundane as love could outpower him in his own life.

He was aware of how you felt about him, you weren’t scared to be vocal about it and it drove him mad, and by the way his stoic eyes would gleam and glisten while looking at you, you were certain it was mutual. He knew that if he said the word or gave you signal, you’d be his and he’d be yours, but he couldn’t give you what you wanted, and it was a matter of time before you got tired of him. You were young and beautiful, one the most outstanding creatures he had ever seen, you could do better than him and you’d realize soon enough. Life was too short to waste it on him.

‘What are you waiting for, Levi? Do something about it because it’s getting painful to watch.’

‘Get off my fucking case, Four-eyes.’

Everyone was waiting for him to do something, but he couldn’t. In those moments he remembered the question he wasn’t able to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’ His mother loved him, and she died, just like Isabel and Farlan, he couldn’t love you, because he’ll end up losing you, the same way he lost everyone else.

He was loveless.

But you weren’t, and you found someone to do what he couldn’t do, someone to love you like you deserved.

He didn’t know a lot about them. You looked happier and that was all he cared about. He thought that seeing you with another person would calm his heart and his desires, but they only got worse, there was no way of forgetting about you. You were everywhere.

‘C’mon Levi, do something.’

‘Didn’t I tell you to drop it, Hange?’

His visits stopped but you kept waiting for him, hoping he would come to his senses. You didn’t get it, you really didn’t. He had the opportunity, he could have taken the chance to be with you, but he didn’t, so you moved on, or tried to, you didn’t love your partner, but you could see yourself falling in love with them. However, you still missed Levi, not as a potential lover, but as a friend. The way he erased you from his life as you were nothing broke your heart. What did he want from you?

He wanted everything. He wanted all of you and yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He was just frozen in time while you kept moving. He met your partner, they came to visit you once, they were gentle and loving, they looked at you like you were the brightest star in the firmament. They held your hand and kissed your lips. They did all the things he wanted to do. He was jealous, but he didn’t have the right to say something, he had never had the right.

The way he looked at you made you feel guilty, like you were betraying him, and you were so confused and annoyed and angry and mad, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. So, you went to his room that night and stormed in.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

‘I should be asking that, I’m not the one barging in someone else’s room with no previous invitation.’

He had never seen you like that, so mad and full of rage and it was all directed to him and he knew it was his fault.

‘What do you want of me, Levi?’

He wanted everything.

He wanted you.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Could you please stop making me lose my time?’

He saw it in your face, that was the last straw.

‘You’re selfish, an asshole, a prick and a lot of other things. But above it all, you’re a fucking coward, so much for Humanity’s Strongest. For fucks sake, Levi, I loved you, I still do, but I can’t keep waiting for someone who is too scared to do something about it. I want you and you want me too. What’s stopping you?’

He remembered again, the question he never had the chance to ask: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

You loved him and you weren’t scared of it. But he was, and you were about to leave the room. You turned your back on him and it was now or never. He had to choose: would he let you walk away definitely of his life or would he do something?

For once, he didn’t think, he didn’t listen to his head, he listened to his heart. For so long he made himself believe that he didn’t have a heart, but his heart was right there, beating for you.

He kissed you and you kissed him back.

‘Mine.’

‘Yours.’

5. EROS or Passionate love

You both were private people, you didn’t want people talking about your relationship during its first stages, what you had was precious and new and you wanted to protect it from the world a little longer. That’s why no one really knew about the whole ordeal, well, they knew that something had shifted because you could be in the same room without making everyone uncomfortable with your unsolved issues, but they couldn’t pinpoint what had exactly changed, they just guessed that you sorted everything out, finally.

However, Hange did know what changed. She prided herself on knowing Levi, after many years working with him she had learned that Levi only talked through his body language, so she started paying attention to what his body said instead of listening to the words he spewed. Therefore, when she asked him if he was dating you and he said a short no, he knew he was lying. She noticed how he seemed more at ease, how you had broken up with your partner, the way he would gravitate towards you and that when he looked at you, his eyes weren’t filled with longing and remorse, they were shinier and less cold than usual. So, she obviously knew that something was up, but she kept quiet. She may talk way too much, and people could find her annoying, but at the end of the day she was a good friend, and she would respect that neither of you wanted to make things public.

Keeping things private was harder than he originally thought, he was distant and cold to everyone, but he couldn’t be cold and distant with you when you made him burn inside and he could only think about holding you close. It was weird for him, he had spent so many years deprived of touch that he couldn’t imagine himself getting addicted to it, but he was wrong, so wrong.

You knew that Levi was touch starved, you didn’t need to be a genius to notice. When you picked up his body language and started hearing about his childhood, everything came together: his mother died when he was very young, the most paternal figure he had was toxic and abusive to him and since Isabel and Farlan he didn’t let anyone in easily. Levi wasn’t used to someone doting him and you knew that if you started showering him with affection, it would probably scare him off a little, and that was the last thing you wanted. So, you started slowly: holding hands, gentle caresses, kisses in his cheek, hugs, light pecks on the lips and when you saw that he started getting more comfortable, things started scaling on their own, you let him mark the pace. It wasn’t a quick process, but it was worth it.

After a few months, Levi couldn’t keep his hands of you and he surely didn’t want you to keep your hands off him. This was a new kind of love, at first, on the early stages of your relationship it was playful, but then it evolved into something more passionate: quick pecks turned into open mouthed kisses; holding hands innocently turned into holding you close while you came undone under him again and again; kisses now went lower and lower, exploring new parts of you that he hadn’t seen and that no one else would. He didn’t think that touch could mean so much to him, but it did now, and he knew that couldn’t ever go back to a touchless life where you wouldn’t be there to love him.

6. PHILAUTIA or Self-love

He wasn’t neither deaf, blind or stupid. He could hear what people had to say about your relationship, how you deserved better than him; he could see his reflection on the mirror and how he wasn’t beautiful, at least not as much as you, he wasn’t the male that would make people swoon and he knew that you could have any man or female you wanted, but you chose him, out of every other person, you decided to be with him. He was a lucky bastard and you didn’t make good decisions, what a match.

You would look at him like he held the stars in the sky, and you would touch him like he was about to disappear in any moment, as if he were a dream you were afraid to wake up from. He didn’t get why him, he wasn’t the most handsome, nor the nicest, nor the easiest to love, and you still decided to keep him around. He liked to think that he was smart or cleverer than the average, and yet he couldn’t grasp his head around that the fact you loved him and just him, and that was it, it was as simple as that.

Whenever you heard the things people said about your partner, you went feral, because you knew all those comments fueled the self-hate Levi had. Being loveless for so long it obviously affected the perception he had of himself and you wanted to change that, because he deserved it, he deserved all the happiness in this dull world. He liked to play strong, but you saw through him, and even though he never acted upon them, it hurt him. You wished he could see himself through you eyes, because it caused you pain the mere idea of him thinking less of himself, that he wasn’t worthy of your love.

You would tell him every day how much you loved him, as if you were reciting a prayer to your own god.

‘I love you.’

‘You’re beautiful.’

‘I could stare at you for the rest of my life.’

‘I don’t know what I would do without you.’

You would tell him that he needed to love himself, see the good inside of him, he guessed that that was one the types of love he had yet to discover: self-love. He didn’t see himself capable of loving himself nearly the half of how much you loved him.

‘You know one reason why you should love yourself, because you make me the happiest I’ve ever been.’

He didn’t love himself, not yet, but if he was able to make you smile like that, he couldn’t be that unworthy of you.

7. STORGE or Familiar love

He had been avoiding love for as long as he could remember, and then you burst into his life with the force of a typhoon. Love had found him, and he couldn’t get away, you never can, it was a lesson that he had finally accepted.

For so long he saw love as something unnecessary, a burden for the soul. Love ruins you, it stabs you on the back, whenever he let his walls down, love would always take advantage of it and destroy him, bringing him closer to insanity, he had lost himself too many times by loving people and when he met you, he did not want the cycle to repeat itself. He didn’t want more Kuchels, Kennys, Isabels and Farlans, love was merciless, and he wasn’t interested in it, at least that was what he told to himself every day, that he was better off alone. Was all the pain worth it? He thought love came with a high price and he couldn’t afford it. However, things change, life happens, destiny has always something in the store, well, in his case he had someone.

You were his everything, the beacon that brought light in his life, for so long he had been lost, walking amongst shadows, nearly becoming one, and when you appeared you changed the rules of the game, of his game. Every wall he had built around himself came down and you filled every gap his heart was missing. It was the scariest thing he had ever done, letting you in, letting someone in, giving someone else the control of his own heart. You knew the power you held between your hands and you never abused it. You were his solace in this mad world, the oasis in the middle of the desert.

Loving him was not easy, he knew it, he was rude, sharp, too closed off, mean, he was what people liked to call a ‘fucking jerk’ and yet you never gave up on him, on what you had. Instead of leaving when you had the chance, you stayed through thick and thin: through sleepless nights, through his bad moods and grumpiness, through his biting remarks… .You didn’t ran way, you were too stubborn for that, instead you taught him more forms of love.

You were all of the ones he knew and more.

You were selfless, giving him every part of you and loving him with everything you had to offer.

You were his best friend, his companion, the better half of him.

You were playful, joyous, probably the only thing that could make him smile and bring him happiness.

You were consuming, like a fire burning inside of him.

You were passionate, intoxicating.

You were every form of love he had ever experienced, but nothing could have ever prepared him for the kind of love he was experiencing in that moment: the familiar one. The one you feel when you hold your newborn in your trembling hands. It was something he couldn’t describe, there weren’t words for it, he tried to, but he failed every single time.

This was the way his mom loved him, and then he knew how much he had meant for his own mother. While holding little Kuchel on his arms, he remembered all those days and nights on that dirty brothel, all the hours he spent by his mother’s side, how she would do everything to give him the best life and he soon realized there was nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for his daughter. It wasn’t the best of times to have a child, but in that moment, in that precise instant, when Kuchel opened her grey eyes, he was sure of one thing: he would tear everything and everyone down only to see her smile.

A knock on the door. Another one. Two minutes passed and then Hange, followed by Erwin, entered in the room.

‘Tch, Shitty-glasses, who gave you permission to come in?’

‘My authority as a god-mother.’

‘Don’t make me regret it.’

‘She’s beautiful, what’s her name?’

‘Her name is Kuchel.’

Kuchel was his new world, he loved her so much that it was overwhelming, he would never love someone as much as he loved her, and no one would probably love with the same devotion Levi Ackerman loved his daughter.

‘You know, Kuchel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise you that you will have the best life a man like me can give you. I may be a little cold, perhaps a little strict and you will probably get mad at me sometimes, but no matter what happens, I will love you through everything. And by the way, no dating until I’m dead because no brat will be good enough for you. You deserve the world Kuchel and I’ll give you everything it has to offer. Things may get hard, you aren’t born in the best circumstances, but I’ll protect you because you deserve the life I couldn’t live.’

Kuchel’s first word was ‘dadda’.

Kuchel’s first steps were pointed towards his father.

Kuchel’s favorite pastime was being in his father’s arms.

Kuchel could only sleep after his father had kissed her forehead.

And Kuchel would never love someone as much as he loved his father, because she loved him as much as he loved her.

8. PRAGMA or Enduring love

He was old and wrinkly, he was scarred, mutilated and there were days he couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were too real. But he was happy, he was married to the most beautiful and special person he had ever met, he had a loving daughter, a bunch of brats he was proud to call grandchildren and the tea shop he had always dreamed about.

Life hadn’t been fair to him. He had lost so many people he cared about, he had fought a war and he had had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But, after all, after the tortures, the adversities, the deaths… He had people who loved and whom he loved.

Love was worth it. He had finally learned that.

At his seventies he found out about the last kind of love, the enduring, the one that lasts and survives in time. He loved his family above everything, and he would love them long after his bones turn into ashes and no one remembers his name.

Then he recalled that question he never got to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

He looked at the sky and smiled.

‘After all someone was fool enough to love me mom, who would have thought?’

A gentle breeze caressed his skin and a single tear fell from his eye.

‘I guess that’s the way you have of answering the question.’

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