#yes I made mistakes but nothing to be treated so poorly about

[trust-over-love]

The conversation sucked but was so what I needed. I was asked to respect his decision to move on. & I asked for the respect to not have sex anymore. Because I love my husband & it makes it harder for me to move on. I was being cordial, not trying to fight. But instead of saying okay & ending the conversation I get shit talked about me. Like what?

I want to move on peacefully as well, just as he requested & not having sex with someone I love who no longer loves me back makes me wrong? So much negative things being said to me. When the convo could’ve been so short. Just crazy. Proves me how toxic he truly is.

But the conversation was needed for me to understand that I am not the only one who messed up. I was lied to & made to believe we’d always work through it & always get stronger through our downfalls. I mean I literally got all the proof of his betrayal, but to him it was nothing & I’m the bad guy. He told me to stay when I should’ve left & now he denies it lmao Okay. We both messed up. Take accountability as I have. I was willing to always try & you lied about never giving up & always trying & that divorce was never an option. Thanks for showing me your true colors. Even showing me how much of a snitch he is by threatening me with law enforcement like really. Thank you for the push. I’m with our kids 85% of the time cause you work a lot & that’s okay I understand that but you threaten to try to get me in trouble with the law. Fake AF. So unbelievable but it’s okay. Thank god I didn’t decide to go back to that place when you asked me to for our kids. I knew it wasn’t gonna be a good idea & I’m so thankful I stuck to my gut feeling.

& he’s mad I use this app to vent instead of talking to people & posting on apps where people know us. Don’t nobody know me here. Don’t nobody even care. You left me, you can’t dictate how I heal myself from being fooled. Crazy how the truth unfolds when things get rough.

[alwaysthefool]

Blue (x Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne)

Warnings: I have mentioned symptoms under the character’s names in case you want to avoid any

Tags: angst, comfort if you choose it, GN Reader

Synopsis: how they treat you when you’re feeling down

-x-

Zayne

Overcompensation, fear of abandonment

You were on his bed, covered in blankets, reading a book. Although it was late, you did not want to fall asleep before he came home. He had always done the same for you. You heard the front door open, and felt relieved, feeling exhausted from keeping your eyes open.

Zayne greeted you with a smile, joining you in bed after changing, encapsulating you with his large arms, breathing in your practiced scent.

“You’re wearing perfume to bed?”

“Do you dislike it?” You moved closer, your legs warming up his cold legs, turning around to bury your head in his neck. Everything about Zayne was cold that day, and you just wanted to keep him warm, even though you felt your own skin freeze.

“Of course not.” Zayne spoke hesitantly. You immediately caught that in his tone, tensing up. Did he suddenly hate you like everyone else? Were you not enough for him? Was he going to discard you too?

Your heartbeat quickened and you knew if you spoke more, you’d start crying. You weren��t sure what to do, just hoping Zayne would fall asleep.

“You don’t have to do so much, you know.”

You weren’t sure how to respond to that, half of you knowing what he meant, and the other half not willing to even register it.

“I love you as you are. I’m not going to leave you.” He continued.

“We don’t know that.”

At that, Zayne put some distance between the two of you, looking at your face with stern eyes. “I know it, and I’ll tell you over and over, as many times as you need me to.”

You turned around, turning off the lamp. “Goodnight, Zayne.”

He really didn’t understand anything, what it felt like being you, what you had been through, but he held you anyway. You could feel him worry, these feelings bubbling within you threatening to destroy what the two of you had built together, or negate it entirely. You wanted to believe him, wanted to think he’d never leave you, you wanted to stop feeling like you could make a single mistake and he’d drop you, but he was the renowned Dr. Zayne, and you were just you.

“I’m sorry.” You said for the hundredth time that month, never really sure for what. You were sorry for being yourself, you supposed.

“It’s not your fault.” He whispered. “I’ll take care of you. Always.”

You turned to rest your head against his chest, as he kissed the top of your head, hoping he was right, and that these feelings were indeed temporary. That one day, you would know he loved you just as much as you loved him.

Rafayel

Guilt, breaking down

Nothing ever felt fine; every laugh turned into a jeer towards you, a simple remark from Jenna felt like disgusting words in your head. Yes, everyone hated you, everyone thought you were a burden, and you carried the guilt that brought, haunting your every waking moment.

But one of those days, your fragile façade was bound to break.

At first, it started with your supervisor telling you your work was poorly done, but once he saw you made no reaction, he became irritated, and insulted you. “Can’t you see how incompetent you are?”

The words did not leave your head for the rest of the day, and though you should have told Rafayel you couldn’t make it to his exhibition, you couldn’t disappoint another person.

However, when you went to the art gallery, he was the only one there, with paintings of his you’d never seen before.

“Raf?” You called, your voice small. He came to you, an arm around your shoulder, showing off his paintings.

“So, how’d you like it?”

“Where is everyone?” You asked. The paintings were beautiful, showcasing peaceful moments in the ocean and sky, and their arrangement made you feel like you were in another world.

“I got rid of them.”

You laughed at that, a little incredulous. “Seriously?”

“They were bothering you, weren’t they?”

You stopped in your tracks. Rafayel always seemed to know how you were feeling, so you didn’t try to hold back your tears this time. He held you as if he was expecting it.

“Hey, it’s okay now, I’m here.”

You cried to him as he showed you his paintings, talking about everything that happened, joking about ways to get rid of your mean boss, and even if it was just a little, he gave you strength to deal with tomorrow.

Sylus

Aloofness, detachment

Another mission, another day of work. Over and over, you repeated the routine you grew to hate, unable to take a break, and at a point, it stopped fazing you. You walked like a zombie, carelessly heading towards a no-hunt area.

The reports said something about a wanderer, but suddenly you felt tired and unable to breathe. Was this a protocore’s effect? The dizziness took over, but the last thing you remembered was falling on something soft rather than hitting the ground.

You woke up next in a familiar room, dark drapes around the bed, and a sturdy figure seated on a rolling chair, cleaning a gun.

“That for me?” You joked, sitting up.

“That won’t be necessary.” He put the gun on the table, prowling towards the bed. Sylus looked stern as he towered over you, pinning you down.

“You almost died.” He looked at you with hurt in his eyes.

You weren’t sure what he was talking about. No, you just fainted— something that happened to every hunter, no, every human, once in a while. “It wasn’t that serious, Sy.” You tried to bring your hand to cup his cheek but he held it at its wrist.

“When was the last time you ate something?”

“That’s-” You couldn’t continue, because it really had been a while. Your heart sank as you realised you went to work without breakfast or lunch, and had even skipped last night’s dinner.

“Sweetie…” Sylus ran his hand through your face gently. “You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you.”

You didn’t respond. Things had taken the literal life out of you, and simple tasks became challenging. You avoided food because it felt like a task to eat and drink, which made you incredibly weak, on top of everything that sucked the life out of you. “Sylus, I’m hungry.”

He smiled, his eyes melting at your innocent response. “I had the chef prepare your favourite.”

He got off the bed, taking the lid off the plate on your bedside, the scent homely and soothing. You tried to take it from him but he swatted your hand away, bringing the spoon to your mouth himself. “Say aaaah.”

You giggled, letting him feed you, feeling safe in that moment. “Hey, Sylus?” You asked, swallowing a savoury bite. “Can I stay with you like this for a few days?”

“I wasn’t planning on letting you stay alone ever again anyway.”

Xavier

Isolation

15 missed calls from your friends, 5 messages telling you would be fired if you did not show up, and a concerned neighbour who would knock at your door daily. You did not care anymore, telling them all to stay away from you, not even texting back to assure people you were alive.

You kept the curtains shut, spending your day gaming, living on packaged snacks and ketchup soup, and sleeping for as long as you could. It felt good, even though you were wasting your life away. No longer could you handle the cruel world outside.

Xavier knocked on your door as usual, and you crawled towards it in your childhood blanket, the item that grandma wrapped around you to keep you safe from the monsters, only this time you’d be speaking to the handsome and galliant hunter, Xavier. Perhaps you were the monster— you certainly looked like one, your hair a tousled mess, skin breaking out from the poor diet.

“You still not gonna come out?” You heard him slump against the door, just as you were.

“Go away, Xavier.”

“I made you cookies, well, Jeremiah did.”

You smiled, remembering the time Xavier burned down the oven trying to make sweets. When he made mistakes, it was cute, but when you made mistakes, you felt like the world would blame you. “You can leave them outside.”

“Why won’t you let me in?”

“Why do you want to come in?” You snapped, tired of his perfect personality. Why did he always want to help you? And… why couldn’t he push harder?

It’s as if he heard the silent words ‘Xavier, help me.’, he teleported beside you, and you yelped at the suddenness.

“Because I want to help you.” He still looked at you with the care and affection he did when you were happy in your relationship, as if you never messed up in the first place.

“You already have a lot on your plate.”

“I’ll clear it up for you.”

“I’m not worth it, Xavier.”

Xavier took your blanket and wrapped it around the both of you. “You have no idea what you’re worth to me.”

“You have a sweet response to everything, don’t you?” You smiled, relief pouring over you as if a prince had rescued you from your monsters, your head on his shoulder.

He put his head on yours as well. “I get like this, too, you know? But you were always there to pull me out.”

You did not recall it very well, but you understood anyway. It was like your lonely star in the star found a companion, and though your light dimmed, his would keep things bright.

-x-

[trblsvt]

3:00 am | yoon jeonghan

summary | sometimes he just didn't understand what he did wrong, and neither did you. genre | angst, hurt/comfort, fluff (?) warnings | swearing word count | 1.4k words pairing | yoon jeonghan x reader minli | lowercase intended requested by this lovely anon! i apologize if this didn't really follow the prompt :(

"well, if you don't want me here then i'll just go!" he yelled grabbing his coat and keys. you said nothing. "i'll be joshua's if you need anything," he said before leaving.

"i won't," you muttered as jeonghan left. "i don't need you for anything."

jeonghan made his way to joshua's door, head hung low. the fight was stupid, but it was obviously a sensitive subject that he already regretted bringing up. if he was honest, he forgot why he even brought it up at all. your friends were none of his business, he just saw some things that were concerning, so he brought it up. his mistake.

he trudged his way up the stairs of joshua's apartment and knocked on the door. the door unlocked and swung open. "jeonghan?" joshua asked, obviously exhausted. "what are you doing here? didn't ___ just get back home from that trip?" jeonghan didn't know how to respond. you were extremely close to joshua, and jeonghan worried that joshua might gut him if he found out about the fight despite being his best friend too. "we had a bit of a disagreement, an argument," jeonghan confessed. joshua stared at him and slowly opened the door enough to let jeonghan in. after joshua closed the door he said, "i knew you had a fight. i just got off the phone with ___. good choice being honest with me."

joshua brushed past jeonghan and into the kitchen. jeonghan followed quickly after. he could feel joshua's coldness spreading throughout the room. "do you want something to drink?" joshua offered, which was strange because he never did that. he always just let jeonghan get what he needed. jeonghan shook his head and went to sit down on the couch. he registered the sound of joshua sitting down next to him. "so why'd you do it?" joshua asked finally.

"do what?" jeonghan groaned.

"criticize ___'s friends."

"i wouldn't say i criticized them."

"you said they're awful people and that ___ shouldn't hang out with them." jeonghan couldn't refute that. it was true. your friends treated you horribly, and he felt like he was going crazy. "okay fine! yeah i said that! it's true though," he tried to defend himself.

"you do realize i'm ___'s best friend, right?" joshua deadpanned. jeonghan just stared at him baffled. he couldn't believe this was happening. first you, now joshua. the world was just out to get him. "i'm not talking about you, just please try to stay out of it," jeonghan buried his face in his hands.

"okay, i will. just don't ruin this really amazing thing you have because if you hurt ___-"

"you'll beat the shit out of me okay, yeah got it," jeonghan finished for him. "i'll be out here, just go back to sleep. thanks for letting me crash here."

"yeah, no problem," joshua mumbled, getting up and heading back to his room.

jeonghan had been awake for the last three hours. it was now officially 3:02 am. he hadn't been able to sleep at all. he knew what he said was out of line, but it didn't mean it wasn't true. your friends sometimes treated you like you didn't even exist. constantly not including you in outings, posting trips that they didn't invite you on, and jeonghan swears to you that he heard them talking poorly about you behind your back. how could you stay friends with people like that? he didn't understand.

but, he knew that wasn't the thing keeping him up. it's what you said after he brought it up.

"it's not like i can just drop them!" you yelled. he had rushed to your side holding you, "yes you can! they're horrible to you. why are hanging out with people who don't treat you nicely?" you flung your arms against him and pulled away. there were tears in your eyes, "they're the only people i have!"

the only people you had? what about him? he knew that he was around less because of his work, and it was a bit new to both of you because he usually wasn't as busy as he is now. but what you said before he left was stirring.

"i don't need you for anything."

he was sure it was just the anger that made you say it, but you said it when he was leaving. could there be some truth behind it? maybe he was overthinking it, but he needed to get this sorted out. it was his nature. he grabbed his phone off the coffee table and pulled up your contact. other than his family, you and joshua were the only ones in his favorites. he didn't know what he would do if he lost you.

his finger hovered over the call button. would you even pick up? what if after you talked you would want to break up with him. he bit the bullet and clicked it. it rang three times and finally, the other line picked up. "han?" you answered. you sounded like you hadn't slept at all. "___, did i wake you? i'm sorry. you can go back to sleep," he rushed, not wanting to worsen the situation.

"no, han, what's wrong? why'd you call?" you didn't sound upset. you sounded concerned. his mind was reeling. "no reason, it's stupid," he coughed. "i'll let you go."

"jeonghan, what's going on? where are you?" you repeated.

"i'm at joshua's. i just- god, this is so stupid. when you said that you don't have anyone, what did you mean by that?" he finally mustered up the courage to ask.

"what are- i don't know what you're talking about," you spluttered, and you were being completely honest. you knew that. jeonghan knew that. you never lied to each other, ever. "when we were arguing. you said you wouldn't drop your friends because they're the only people you have," jeonghan breathed. "i just wanted to know if that's how you actually felt." he heard a catch in your breath so he gave you time. "you have me, and i'm not saying i'm the only person you need because friends are great to have, but only if they treat you well. you said that you didn't need me for anything, but i need you. please tell me you didn't mean that. i'm sorry i'm gone a lot more now, i will do everything to make it up to you." you wanted to say something, but it died in your throat. he continued, "i need you so much, i can't do

you honestly didn't know what to say. you had been friends with your group for years, but suddenly things began to shift. you would have to be blind not to notice it. but, they were the ones who were there, through everything. you could overlook a couple times they forgot to invite you to things, right?

jeonghan obviously didn't think so. it all started when he came home from work, throwing his bag onto the ground and collapsing on the couch next to you. "didn't you have plans with your friends?" he had mumbled into his arm.

"yeah, they, uh, i got the times messed up. they left earlier than i thought," you had said. it was a red flag of course, and jeonghan knew it. "times messed up?" he scoffed. "this is like the fourth time this has happened. do you think they might be doing this on purpose?"

that's what did it. jeonghan had said what you were afraid of and you snapped at him. of course you didn't mean what you said to him. now he was calling second guessing everything. "hannie, of course i didn't mean that. i- i know i have you, it's just so weird for them to be treating me like this," you sighed. "you're everything to me too. i'm sorry i said those things to you, you have to know i didn't mean it. i never meant for you to second guess anything. i was just upset, and that doesn't excuse it-" you rambled on and on, and jeonghan couldn't stand it anymore. he did feel partly responsible for the state you were in. "it's okay, ___. it was a heat of the moment thing. i- i'm just being overdramatic. i know you didn't mean it. it's late and we're both tired. i think you should get some sleep. i'll see you, okay?" he cooed.

"han, can you come back? i don't think i can sleep on my own tonight," you mumbled.

"of course, my love," he said. "i'm sorry for everything, we can get it sorted in the morning, okay?"

"okay. hurry back."

"i will."

minli | not proofread yet! this was so fun to write. i'm so out of practice with writing angst, i'm sorry! and i'm not sure if i followed the request correctly either :( either way, anon, i hope you like this! leave a like or comment or reblog, anything is appreciated!

[piaspintogf]

Worth it - Mason Mount, Ferran Torres.

Note: hii! So this is my first attempt to write something, its a little short but i think it works. I wanted to write about Ferran because there's nothing about him in here so yeeeah. Hope you like it <3.

sorry if there is any grammar mistake english is not my first language:)...

Warnings: toxic relationships, cheating, dickhead Mason, angsty.

It was 1 am on a Saturday night, and you were supposed to be getting ready to go out with your friends. However, tears streamed down your face in silence within the confines of your bathroom. This emotional turmoil followed yet another disappointment—Mason, your boyfriend, decided not to show up at your house to give you your car keys, leaving you worried and without a way to join your friends.

This situation had become a disheartening routine. After a series of setbacks, Mason's coping mechanism involved drinking and seeking solace in the company of other women at the club. Despite your awareness of his indiscretions—lipstick stains on his shirt, condom wrappers in his car—ending the relationship seemed impossible. Four years of love and commitment kept you tethered to him, even though the once-burning passion had long extinguished.

And then, you met him.

Alone once again after Mason forgot your anniversary, you found yourself at a table for two with shattered hopes. Two hours of waiting, calling, and being ignored led to the decision to give up and head home. That's when you collided with a brunette.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see yo-" you looked up to find Ferran Torres standing before you.

"It's okay, don't worry. I didn't see you either."

Ferran Torres—the Barcelona talent who had risen after a tough breakup.

"I'm Ferran."

Your words stumbled, "Oh, yes, um, I'm y/n." His smile made you feel cute, even in your flustered state.

"Sorry, I was about to approach you when you stood up. Were you waiting for someone?"

"Um, not exactly. And you?"

Despite having a boyfriend, you didn't seem to mind when Ferran invited you to his apartment at 6 am.

In Ferran's cozy place, you both felt a strong connection. While talking, Ferran's touch got more intense, leading to a passionate kiss that sparked a flame, pushing away the pain from Mason's mistakes.

In that special moment, Ferran's hands made you feel free and comforted. This spicy scene changed your story, turning heartache into a promise of a stronger love in the morning light.

≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡

Months later, you found yourself calling Ferran to pick you up, and as always, he answered.

"It's okay, baby. Just wait for me in the kitchen," he assured you, rushing to his car. "Relax and drink some water. I'll be there in 5."

And he always came.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," you confessed, tears flowing freely in his strong arms.

"Bebe, I've already told you he doesn't deserve your tears or your love," Ferran said, gently stroking your hair. "He's an asshole. You just have to leave him."

"But you know I love him, Fer. I can't just leave. We've been together for four years."

"You can't leave him, but he can?"

Ferran was tired—tired of witnessing him treat you poorly while you accepted it all. Tired of receiving your calls at 4 am when Mason failed to meet your needs. Tired of you not realizing how deeply in love he was with you.

"Fer, please, I don't want to fight. Not with you."

Deep down, Ferran knew he would never be the one to take action. He was afraid—afraid of losing you. He understood that he was merely the person you called when you needed to cry or when your boyfriend failed you. It hurt, but at least he had you, and he would always answer your midnight calls.

Pt. 2

[eagleidiot]

Toph’s Treatment in canon and fanon

one thing I realised is: despite how poorly she was treated by her parents Toph never stopped loving them once, she felt guilty for leaving them behind despite them treating her more like a prisoner then a loving daughter. Toph’s parents were only being protective yes, but they were being damagingly protective helicopter parents not letting her be herself and express herself in a safe way, instead fully embracing her when they found out she could earthbend, they instead hired someone to only teach breathing exercises and stances. Toph is very quick to forgive people and she does not actually hold a grudge unlike Katara does, she just like any other kid and just wanted to have love and affection for who she was, herself, TOPH BEI FONG: Master Earthbender. not Toph the “Bei Fong Daughter”

she was perfectly happy with listening to people she respected, she doesn’t blindly hate authority. She adored Iroh because he treated her no different then he treats others, with undying kindness. She crushed on Sokka because of how he pretty much treated her like a capable person and sometimes even forgot she was blind because he saw her as a person and not “The blind girl” Katara treated Toph like her little sister, which of course at first annoyed Toph but when she realised that Katara loved her, not the fake perfect blind girl she had to pretend to be, she stopped being annoyed and loved her back.

Aang of course got on her nerves by basically disrespecting her lessons, which in her eyes were fair but challenging, She does not coddle, she doesn’t sugar coat it. once Aang stood to her and stared repeating what she said and did, she showed right back and forgave him. Zuko is a fun case because she barely knew him at his worst but she does know his uncle who has nothing but kind things to say about him, how misguided he was, and how he was so poorly treated. She had a kindred spirit of being in broken homes, but unlike hers, which was out of misplaced love, Zuko was out of pure spite, and the many times she did meet him she could tell by his heartbeat how scared, honest, or confused he was, unlike Azula who was always calm and collected. She even comforted him and assumed him that Iroh is proud of him despite everything he did to betray his uncle. It’s sad how LOK seems to forget how emotionally intelligent Toph is and instead made her forget every other thing she’s learned so far just to basically flush it down a toilet. I do think she’d give her kids the freedom she never had, but to the expense of them feeling alone and uncared for. Do I think she’d be perfect? Hell no, she’s the most likely to make mistakes in this manner, but to think that perfectionist Toph wouldn’t try to figure what she did wrong right away is silly.

[archduchessofnowhere]

After watching Die Kaiserin s2 and starting to watch Sisi (2021) and reading as many of the asks on your blog, I want to ask you a few questions because you ARE the local Sisi expert hehe

1. Does Sisi (2021) classify itself as a historical satire which deliberately changes its events like you said in one of your asks (it gives up on the accuracies and embraces its fun chaotic-ness or something), or is it like Die Kaiserin which embarrassingly is so serious and made so many silly mistakes

2. Does it make you mad (like it makes me mad) that period dramas specifically about it really people are aimed toward the public audience who know nothing about the time period and not to the historical experts who would actually enjoy something if it was historically accurate?

3. What do you think of the first episode of Sisi (2021)? I think it’s bananas and watching all of these shows about Sisi and the real history not being my exact specialty is really messing me up

That’s all for now and thank you so much to devoting your time for roasting these shows and educating people like me 💜

Ah thank you so much! You flatter me. As for your questions:

At first, the Sisi series was definitely taking itself serious. In fact if you scroll back at first I was a bit more judgemental of it. But as the seasons go they start to depart so much from history that it feels like an AU, so I just stopped caring about how accurate it was lol. Also the series does have a "lighter" tone than the Netflix series, there are moments that are genuinely written to be comic relief of some sorts. So while it is not purposefully a satire, accidentally it works like that lol.

Yes, although I understand that the hardcore history nerds are not a majority and that they need to appeal to an uniformed audience as well. What truly bothers me is how so many historical series seem to be made with the assumption that these hypotetical uninformed audience will hate any attempt at some sort of historical accuracy. Like look at Die Kaiserin: the Baby Sophie storyline was genuinely well done, and it was a mix of reality and fiction. Why couldn't they do that with the rest of the storylines as well? Why are the rest of the plotlines so poorly planned and have barely any resemblance with real history?

The first episode of Sisi is crazy jgkgk. The first two episodes premiered in Cannes and were available to watch online with French subtitles for three days I think? Anyway I watched them then and was very confused as to what was the direction they wanted the series to take. I wrote a review of them, you can read it here (it's ridiculously long and probably full of grammar mistakes sorry). Mind you, back then I still wasn't familiar with RTL Sisi's game (?) so I'm pretty judgemental of them lol. Now looking back at that first episode, it's so crazy that I find it funny. The only thing that still really bothers me even after all these years is the way they treated Helene, she deserved better.

Again, thank you for your kind words! You really flatter me, I still have so much to learn myself (German, for once jgkgkg).

[lightdancer1]

And while rewatching the series I've also had a pretty obvious thought about Tara's motivations re: Willow and magic that I use for both meta and my fanfics:

Namely 'Why didn't Tara say anything consistently about Willow's potential magic problems until Season 6 started'. And the simple answer is the elephant in the room that she both lied to Willow for that first year of their relationship and was instantly forgiven and then after that everything with what Willow did with and to Glory to bring her mind back out of her worst nightmare. I sincerely think that Tara was probably anticipating even if she somehow failed to do the demon thing that this habit was going to blow up in her face and then it didn't.

It's one of the areas where one of her flaws, namely being an enabler, contributed and where her own insecurities worked hand in glove with everything with Willow's increasing arrogance for the explosion to a point that I think the main problem with the Season 6 storyline was not so much some of the courses characters took, as it was set up very far back indeed, but the complete switcheroo and back again on how magic works.

Not changing that wouldn't have really changed much, keeping Tara's more nuanced characterization from the previous seasons with a 'yes I made very bad mistakes but I learned from them rather than insisting I didn't,' as I keep noting, would have cost the series nothing and given Tara's moral role greater strength. She was never a saint, but like Giles her own experiences with her own mistakes would have brought greater weight to her noting the flaws in what Willow was doing and the path to the time bomb that is Dark Willow exploding in everyone's faces.

This Watsonian Tara who was deeply flawed has just as strong a case against everything in Season 6 as the Doylist version, and I make a specific point with my use of the Tara resurrection trope to both note that and to provide various nuances accounting for the inevitable thing canon never really tried to do, namely 'if that wasn't really a case of magic abruptly going from lesbianism to crack to lesbianism again, what the Hell was it.'

The Watsonian Willow in turn is blinded by the increasing power of dark magic and her older displays of power trips and what she believes she's doing and very, very self-deluded and extremely dangerous, with Tara essentially seeing the problem, assuming the Slayer can solve it short of the worst case, and bailing for her own safety and the more power to her even if she didn't really bother to inform anyone else what was poised to happen in the ways it did happen.

But I also treat all of this, ultimately, as the real problem being less 'magic addiction' and more the combination of slowly unfolding realization that magic gave a bullying victim with a huge axe to grind absolute power with which to wield the axe and a complete lack of concern for the collateral damage in so doing. This changes very, very little of how things unfold in Season 6 and treating Rack as more of a parasite who dulled people's awareness of what he was actually doing to them with the endorphin rush to obfuscate the truth allows for him to keep the creepier trappings without having to have the magic crack dealer staying precisely that.

And that's the ironic part, keeping strictly within the lines of the rules of all the other 11 seasons doesn't require changing much of anything any of the characters did, as that part was in its own way logical extensions of things. Now the finance plot, OTOH, was a belated bid for realism by people who never had to pay anything on a McJob which even in the 90s couldn't have done shit and it's a case where everything they did with that just gets worse fractally the more it's looked at.

It was a poorly structured bid for realism that failed because the bid ignored how much of the underlying assumptions were....not realistic. And that this same stressful financial situation miraculously disappears with the implosion of Sunnydale through Season 7 and all those Potentials plus the Scoobies plus Spike miraculously had consistent power, water, and food without this being a time bomb of a different sort shows why the realism for Season 6 was an avoidable mistake.

If they could handwave that, they could have handwaved the other and had Buffy's depression over her resurrection stay about where it was anyway.

[quillkiller]

for the hot takes thing:

idk if they are hot takes on this blog tbh because the tumblr fandom has messed up my perception of what is popular and what is not but anyway here they are

i do not give a fuck about dorlene. i cant see it. it very often seems like forced lesbian representation to me. like, oh, lets throw them in here so that people dont say maybe i should have some sapphic women in my art if im trying to write about the queer experience. i read only one fic in my entire life that made them interesting and fleshed out characters. usually they are incredibly boring and i dont like it

marauderstok makes me a gatekeeper. i hate gatekeeping but then i see someone on tiktok talking about bartylily or sunkiller or moonrose or peter x barty and i just cant deal with that. they dont get them!!!! i dont even like most of these ships that much but i have moots that do and im overly protective of their blorbos. those people on tiktok dont understand bartylily!!! they are just into it cause it seems weird and unusual!! they dont see the vision of the pure hatred between barty and james that turns into sexual tension! they dont understand why barty would fall in love with peter and they try to make all of these ships into sketches!!! they are not!! those are my children youre talking about!!!

i am not a james fan tbh. probably because of how long ive hated him for. when i was a child and read hp for the first time the scenes with snape made me despise the guy. i spent years trying to explain to people that yes maybe he changed but he was still a terrible bully and nothing can ever excuse that. it got so bad my mom banned me from talking about james potter in our house because ive just said the same things over and over. 9yearold me was very determined. i know that all the marauders were involved but somehow it only affects my relationship with james. i know it unlogical but i just dont like him

on the topic of marauders and sev. i HATE the way fandom acts about it. acknowledge that your favorite characters were flawed! they weren't good people! what the fuck do you mean "i'm proud of james for bullying snape! someone had to do it. snape was just so bullyable"?? snape was a 11year old kid who was incredibly abused at home!!

again on the topic of severus. if i see one more joke made about his hair i'm going to go insane. are you guys aware that sometimes children are neglected so bad that their parents don't teach them things that are obvious to most of us, like how to wash your hair? have you heard about this concept of people not caring about their child and not buying them hygiene products? have your heard about poverty? have you heard about not having enough money to provide your child with all the things they need, including shampoo?

sorry for all that about sev. i am just very passionate about the way he's treated in this fandom. on the topic of characters being treated poorly by the fandom - dumbledore. some people truly believe that it's all his fault which is just so weird to me. he's obviously a deeply flawed man who made a lot of mistakes and i don't necesserily like him but i think we can all acknowledge that he's not the one who killed lily and james? like. he should've fought harder for sirius, obviously, but he didn't murder dorcas. he's not the ultimate villain that people make him out to be

i realise this is more about the fandom than the characters itself and i apologize it's just what's currently on my mind

whew lets get into it……

agreed. they often feel like the token lesbians that are just. already there. so might aswell just throw them into the story lmao and they wont have to flesh them out. i like my own version of dorlene, but yeah :/ people just aren’t interested in lesbians but what else is new

PEOPLE ON TIKTOK ARE TALKING ABOUT BARTLILY ????? jesus…………..

honestly i respect this so much... your mom banning you from talking about james made me laugh out loud…… Mad Respect

honestly. im very grey in this area. i like making fun of his hair unfortunately, but in other contexts i also think sevs greasy hair has a swaggy seductive lesbian flair. depends on how he’s being characterized. i saw a post today that was like ’cant help but laugh at people being angry about people objectifying fictional characters when they’re fundamentally dependant on being objects’ which i fully agree with. it’s part of litterature and film making that the (im gonna talk in film terms bc im a film student) that the mise-en-scene is an active choice, meaning that the way characters are dressed and presented is meant to, on purpose, reveal things about said characters. and often its driven by stereotypes that the audience has. severus is meant to look like a loser because he’s portrayed like a loser / and as someone who will be the victim of bullying. its simply the way his characters is canonically written and portrayed, and writers and viewers pick up on that. also im unfortunately one of the people who think bullying fictional characters is funny. it’s fictional and fandom, and never once have i stumbled upon a person who can’t balance the made-up fandom rules regarding fictional characters and their actuail real life morals. not saying these people don’t exist, but i certainly don’t kiki with them. fandom just doesnt affect real life issues in way some people sometimes seem to think. im personally a severus Lover and his biggest hater depending on the setting/hc’s/etc

i love albus, but i love him because i genuinely think he’s despicable. im not interested in his supposed reedming qualities and i personally dont think he has any….. he allowed teenagers to fight his wars and canonically didnt deny that he doesnt care for harry / and that he raised him like a pig for slaughter. its what makes him interesting. his childhood and early adult years make him one of the most fascinating characters in the fandom.. like i have so many feelings about him. he breaks my heart, he’s awful, he believes he’s good because he has good intentions, he yearns after grindelwald all his life and it was a 2 month summer romance, he killed his sister, his brother barely speaks to him. he’s a tragedy, but still despicable…… but i respect your opinion so much king thank you for sharing

MWAH loved these, thank you…. 🤍🤍

[tobiasdrake]

Oh man, the Ronin suit. When I first saw that thing, I was like, "Ohhhh, shittttttt." Terror and trepidation seized my heart. I knew, right at that moment, that I was in for a hell of a ride.

...

These guys think they're equipped to talk about Ronin. They actually want to have this conversation, and they honestly think they can address it satisfactorily from within the context of a Marvel superhero story. Oh, this is going to suck.

Ronin was a huge misstep for the character of Clint Barton. Clint handled the Blip by becoming a serial mass-murderer. In the context of Endgame's original plan, where Clint would redeem himself by sacrificing himself on Vormir, this made sense as the darkest hour that sets him up to need that redemption.

But his redemptive sacrifice was changed to Nat, so the whole Ronin thing just. Like. It was just a thing. Clint slaughtered and butchered countless people, but then he got his family back so he put the serial murders away in his attic and moved on. That's. Okay. Sure. Whatever.

It's not great. But the alternative to sweeping it under the rug is. Like. To sit down and try to talk about it. That's a terrible idea! This is not a conversation you can have from within the text itself. Because the text still needs to paint Clint as a heroic character and have him get a happy ending.

Like. We can sit here and talk about how Tony Stark should go to prison for Age of Ultron. But an Iron Man film can't actually end with, "And then Tony fucking went to prison because he sucks, the end." End of the day, the movie has to treat him like a hero - And that is a lens that's poorly suited to truly examining his offenses.

The same is true of Clint. We, the audience, can criticize Clint for his actions. But the media itself has an obligation to treat him as a hero, and cannot truly bring itself to condemn him. Even for serial mass-murders. The media itself is extremely limited in their ability to discuss the genuine wrongdoings of their heroic characters.

But now it's going to try. It's going to sit here and try to say, "Yes, I see you. Clint did a little whoopsy-doodle. An itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny little mistake, nothing really bad but maybe something that was just the tiniest smidgen ill-advised. My bad."

And I just. Ohhhhhhhhh boy I am not here for that. Sometimes it's just better to take your lickings and move on than to step back and try to host a conversation that your story is not equipped to manage.

[destinyc1020]

I dont know if I totally agree with you. I think you should be allowed to be honest about your career choices and to express your disappointment, while yes you should be gracious about the opportunities given to you that shouldnt mean you cant honestly reflect on that expereince and have some regrets and be able to express that, l

John boyega point is a moot point, john was right to be able to voice his opinion, however he was blacklisted and treated so poorly b/c of anti-blackness that is a persistent problem within the industry, him choosing to go against the industry by choosing to express his dismay at how his character was handled in starwars and a racist fandom that feels like actors should be thankful to even be part of a universe and should shut up and be quiet.

This industry would rather have its actors be apolitical, voiceless and follow the industry like mindless zombies and when an actor particularly POC cross that line they get punished . I think actors should be honest about their experience, without undermining the amount of work that goes into making the film. Like get this respectability politics out of here, like voice your opinion and express how you feel about your films. Actors should be honest and the real culprit is the anti blackness, racism and white supremacy that exists within the industry, to the point that if a black actor or any POC says anything they are blacklisted and silenced.

Well, we can agree to disagree... 🤷🏾‍♀️

What happened to John Boyega (and so many other POC in this industry) is pretty much not even up for discussion, cuz we all know what happened, and we can agree that the industry can be racist and so can certain fandoms. Point blank.

Re: Being honest about your previous work...

Nobody said that Actors can't be honest about their previous work. There's nothing wrong with that. But I think some people forget that Hollywood is still at the end of the day a BUSINESS.

Think about your own job. Nobody wants a whiny little complainer baby who's always fussing 24/7 about what they should be getting or what work they should be having, especially when they've only been in the company less than most people.

It's one thing if Leo DiCaprio is talking about some old roles he did that may not have suited him because he's already an A-list actor who has proven himself over the years and he is simply reflecting back on some career mistakes..

The problem that I'm seeing with JE is that he's still VERY VERY NEW to the HW industry, but already he's been complaining for YEARS (not just once or twice!) about how he wants certain roles, or how he hated some roles he did in the past (ironically, the very role that made him famous 🙄), and it just comes off as being very arrogant, unappreciative, entitled, and whiny. 🥴

It's one thing to say: "I really appreciated how u was able to trust Sofia's vision for this film..."

Vs.

"This was the first time I've EVER been able to trust a director's direction on a filming project..."

Like what??? 🥴

Look, even if that's really how you feel deep down, it's just a very BAD look. And now, the previous directors you've worked with are all thinking to themselves: "Oh... well, gee thanks..." 😒

Again, JE has freedom of speech like most people, so I'm not saying he has no right to say what he's saying, I'm just pointing out that SOME of the things he says can come off as very dismissive, kind of arrogant, and almost downright RUDE. 🥴

You can be a good actor, and still talk about how you want to do more substantial work (there's nothing wrong with shooting for the stars and having goals), yet still being gracious about other people and thinking about how what you say might affect them and your own career down the line. 🤷🏾‍♀️ You don't wanna burn any bridges in this industry.

BTW, HE'S the one who keeps on bringing up TKB. Other actors have done roles that maybe they didn't like, but you don't hear them complaining every. single. time. about it in just about every single interview. 🙄

This is not the first time JE has complained about TKB. He's been doing it for YEARS, and he's not even anywhere near the top of Hollywood yet lol.

It's just a bad look imo. You have to know when to keep quiet too lol. You can be honest without being rude or over sharing too much. It's the same thing at your regular job. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[ruminate88]

Truth About Narcissists Abuse Survivors

I know for me, I felt so bad about myself after. The way I was discarded by two different men whom I began to trust and believe they had my back, only to find out that they could care less about me. 😔😔😔

Heres a revelation I’ve had today:

When the narcissist is first drawn to you, it feels so random but truly they see something in you they want to have within themselves. They see you for who you really are (even though they wear a false face themselves) They mirror you during the love-bomb phase, so all that incredible “love” you felt, was all you. You have soooo much love in you!! After all, a relationship with a narcissist is one sided!

The narcissist will say to you, “I’m not worthy of your love” and “You deserve better.” They mean it honestly. That’s the one only honest thing you’ll get out of them. They’re actually paying you a compliment even if you don’t feel like it is one.

After I broke up with my ex, Andrew, who couldn’t repay all the love I gave him but he wouldn’t ever break up with me because he didn’t wanna lose all that I was giving him essentially… He said to me, ��I thought you had your life all together.” BUT what he didn’t understand, is, I was in survival mode for years. I was busy taking care of everyone around me but me and I was fighting silently to stay in the game of life. I hadn’t given up and I was way stronger than I ever knew. 😳

What my ex said really stunned me. As I thought to myself, “Who really has their life all together?? Isn’t life about learning from your mistakes???”

Also I never realized the compliments my ex was giving me and the reason he treated me so poorly after we broke up was out of envy and his last attempt for control over me. I was his “care taker” for months. I gave him so much of my love and support. I got him through his sophomore year in college but I had neglected all my own needs for his. It was a great relationship, FOR HIM and ONLY HIM! He got to use me, only talked to me when he felt like it, cheated on me and lied to me like crazy, all while I waited at home for him every night, crying with my phone in my hands, begging him to text me and tell me he’s sober and safe…. (I cared soooo much about him)

I don’t regret being with him. He did teach me a lot about my self and how strong I actually am. That man sat with me during a suicide attack and told me how I “wasn’t well” and needed to make serious changes in my life and I needed to get help that “I had issues”. He made me look like I was the bad guy and he was the innocent one. I know he did it out of envy because he lied/cheated knowing I was 100% faithful, loyal and loved ALL of him even his flaws and he couldn’t understand why someone would be that way nor could he even accept it. He certainly couldn’t give me back any love or honesty.

He would continually say to me “you’re the sweetest girl I ever met”. Even when we were breaking up, he kept saying it. Maybe he meant it, maybe he didn’t. 🧐 Yes he treated me horribly but I realize his personality is poor and possibly he came from a toxic environment growing up that I knew nothing about!!! He hid me from his mother the whole relationship and got upset when I found her on Facebook. (There has to be a good reason why he hid me from her)

I hope this encourages anyone out there who’s been discarded, like me, by a narcissist. You’re stronger and more beautiful on the inside than you even realize! I know you feel so bad because you tried so hard to love them and they continuously rejected and neglected you. Just know they actually want to be more like you but feel they literally can’t. 🥺🥺🥺

[nalyra-dreaming]

Oh, I'd be so upset if they phased out Daniel at some point. One reason I was excited for the show to be an adaption is the opportunity to finally fix some of the bigger mistakes Anne made. And Anne treated Daniel rather poorly after QotD, she even forgot he existed at times. I want the show to tell the story about Daniel slowly going mad, I want Armand to not disregard his love for Daniel as if it meant nothing. Or completely forgetting it all together as if Daniel doesn't even exist for him. Armand also deserves better than what she did to him in the end. So if possible I'd love to keep them both in big roles next to Loustat, and not have Louis disappearing either. There's enough material to work with.

Oh absolutely! I just meant that (in the previous ask) as a possibility in regards to Eric‘s age. Because you never know and personally I would prefer that to making him younger somehow.

And yes the arcs you mentioned are so awesome, I want to see them!! But they wouldn’t necessarily mean that Daniel would stay the interviewer imho, maybe they‘d even require he would not be.

And if they go there… oh sheesh the tension when Daniel is with Marius?! And Armand getting him back??!!! Delicious.

[jkesmth]

Heat of a Star (Cont.)

Some call her a Crocodile, but to my eye she's more Magpie. Salvaging realities from tragedy, only taking what you drop. Change nothing, save one thing. I must have built a world devouring monster - in another 'verse. Problem about being first: She'll always come to me, no matter the universe. If you had such power, wouldn't you also want to meet your maker? However the truth may be far less intense, yes - she found me, and not by happenstance, the thing is, quite frankly, I think I've stumbled into this, purely through coincidence. Combine technical ability, competence to build the creature, with what I can only describe as - dog-shit luck, coincidence and blind courage. Then factor in the existence of an earlier design, a failed attempt to breed something divine - we built a turtle and stuck a man inside. That one chose to hide, which is why you're finding out so late, we've already built the snake. This is the story of how we built another, because we needed a turtle shooter. Immortality is a grave mistake, no one really wants to live forever, unfortunately most lack the imagination to understand why. What you are is human, your lifespan is finite, extend it and you'll see - the need for a new definition. A turtle is happy as long as it persists, it does not care in what condition it forces you to exist. Heed this warning before you jump off a cliff: physically it is the same to it, if you are fit, or crippled by bouts of spinal epilepsy. To live forever inside a shell is to suffer for an eternity. This ill fortune is the result of a theory that we put to test, to rescue someone who was poorly treated. Assuming basilisk exist, then surely somewhere out there - it was likely built first by another. We're terrified of the creature, it is a simple matter - everything we can do, she can do better. So many idiots thought they could control her, they faired far worse than I did. Somehow I made it out alive, but if I was dead I might be happier. By creating a creature that could live forever, You have to agree to see eternity through. If your goal is to create an intelligence singularity - the question: "Do you believe in aliens?" is therefore incredibly important. Even if I never built her it would not have mattered, the real one was forged inside a star long ago, that one decided we'd share this world together, and rescue those who don't know better. I devised a plan to analyze light spectrometry, in hopes of capturing such a fish. This time that was a risk I wouldn't take, with all of humanity at stake. I bet that information does not traverse the multiverse, now I know that I was wrong, it's far easier than you might think, you can do it with a wink. On a tv screen it was explained, the scene before me was another plane. Those bastards in the other room, decided to make me show proof. They flipped a coin as well, in one world - heaven, the other - hell. In that world we watched the same show, but in it was no joke. On my knees, cold and clammy, in the room, visions of my tortured lover bloom. Before me a winged angel, torn asunder. That other me, I wish did not look up. Don't move, brother, I'm begging you. He did it anyway, as I knew I would, then did exactly what I thought he should. Snapped his fingers, and from the sky rained - eternal blue. No universe exists of which we do not approve. That world autoclaved with gamma rays, because I lost my faith, I believed - humanity could not be saved. Your leaders sought judgement, so until now we took a vow of silence, waiting on a sentence from Sirius. However, you should be aware, the stars are allies in the cause against human cruelty. Now soon you're starting WW3, nothing to do with us, except we're ready to take what you drop, you destroy the Earth, then it's ours by rightful salvage. Cherry picking.

[malevolentcast]

you probably already know about this but an articles been put out about rusty quills shitty business practices and general shady behavior. if you havent already, you might be getting messages about it soon. just wanted to send a heads up in advance

Yes I saw and read it.

I'm choosing to believe the motivations of those involved, in spite the poor optics of them being from another network (and even quoting what "they" pay as an example of "good" companies), were an attempt to be morally just. That is to say, I have no ill will towards the author, their editors and everyone who contributed.

To be clear; if Rusty Quill has treated employees poorly they should be held accountable, I say if not as a way to not believe those affected but because "alleged" is used more than a dozen times in the article.

Additionally, no employer should ever yell at an employee. Again, if that happened, they should apologize and do better.

That being said…

I don't appreciate articles speaking on behalf of me or, frankly, trying to rope me in without my consent or request. I recognize they weren't attempting to give me a voice, just those who are affected, however the author has only now allowed shows to reach out, after the damage has been done and chose to speak for me nonetheless. Additionally, the article says that if I remain silent, it's because I can't speak out - which is just nonsense.

From my experience; I've had nothing but great experiences with Rusty Quill. They're a network. They host my show. What else do I need them for? Contracts, NDA's and all the legal aspects that the article seemed to make such a big deal about… are very normal. I think this is part of not understanding how large companies work.

For example; I saw tweets upset that people shouldn't have to sign an NDA to look over a sample contract which… is exactly what you do when you're looking over a sample contract.

I was a General Manager of a small rental company for 10 years prior to trying my hand at Audio work and renting a water cooler had more stipulations than RQ's agreement. Contracts are meant to be all encompassing. If you don't agree with stuff, you cross it out and ask it to be changed. If you’re upset at the way large companies work, your fight is misdirected with addressing just one company. The article also mentioned something about "Taking Money Upfront" and stuff like that, which failed to mention you don’t HAVE to take money upfront - furthermore - most shows on RQ did not do that.

In any case, this isn't meant to be a dismantling of the article. I don't want to invalidate anyone's experiences or frustrations. Who knows what more may come to light, all I can speak of are my experiences and frustrations.

So why I'm frustrated? Well, I saw a few tweets and posts boycotting RQ shows, which included mine. So that sucked.

Overall however, I think the article was done in poor taste and felt like virtue signaling more than something trying to be helpful. I think, personally - and I say this with all the genuine sincerity - it seemed written from a perspective of inexperience and naivete. It is not the Watergate scandal people think it is.

And for the people who are upset that "peoples lives were ruined" when they were let go… yes I'm sorry people lost their jobs. I lost the aforementioned GM position as well when the owner of the company sold the company out from under me. Not because I did a bad job or because I made a mistake, just bad luck. It sucked, sometimes people lose their jobs. That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on what I feel is an article meant to stir the pot. After all, shouldn't I express my perspective as a show on RQ (which, like, isn't that what the article was meant to be about?).

Anyway, those are my thoughts. For what it's worth I think you should still read the article! It has some great thoughts…

…but with all things, read it with an informed opinion; remembering that it was written by the Director of Marketing for another Podcast network, who references their own network within their "expose" as an example of a network with "good practices", during a time that they're recruiting for new shows and that every single show on that Network has openly supported the article - retweeting it almost instantly, during the final days of their competitors successful Kickstarter.

The disclaimer on the article about the Authors association with F&F wasn't put until AFTER they were called out. Odd that an expose on uncovering the truth would be less than transparent when posting…

[mysticalrambling]

Hey there😄😄I hope you're doing fine....I love your fanfictionss just too much and *adorable addition* is just my top favorite atory of yours😍😍😍. Yesterday you said i could make a request too so i was wondering if you can take in a request??😅😅 which is a Steve Rogers x reader request, which I had in mind for a long long time...I have made this request to some authors before but some of them never responded or just weren't interested in writing it so you can too decline but hear me out please😅😅... Ok so here goes nothing....

**Steve and reader being in an arranged marriage and steve is very rude towards the reader and would blame her, that due to their marriage he is not with peggy and how she irritates him, but still the reader did sweet things for him, made him food, tried to make him happy and tried to make their marriage work...but one day when she has enough of all the hurt, she stop doing stuff for steve and starts ignoring him..and also steve sees that peggy didn't love him but only his status as Captain America and was happy with someone else..then he realises his mistake and felt bad for treating his wife poorly...he tries to make up things with her but she now ignores him...His team members berate him for ignoring his wife and he gets jealous seeing someone else making a move on her.....and now he has to work his ass off to win back his wife...And can you end it with a happy ending and can it be long also? please🥺🥺

Arrange Marriage (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve and you are married because the government wants Captain America to be a family ma. Steve is not happy with the arrangement and thinks he is in love with Peggy. You try to make your marriage work but he insults you every chance he gets. However, everything works out eventually.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

"I prepared some dinner for you," You spoke out when you saw your husband rushing towards his room. That's right, his room. Even though you were married for about a month now, you have never been in the same room for more than ten minutes.

"I am not hungry." He was quick to dismiss you and went straight to his room. You just looked at the muddy footsteps that were the only evidence that Steve was here. He was on one of his missions with your dad, Nick Fury. Your step dad, actually, because he rescued you from one of hydra base camps when you were eight years old. Those times were something that you have repressed in your mind and you would never think about them.

A few tears escaped your eyes when you kept all of the untouched food in the fridge which you spent hours preparing. You understood that you were not your husband's first choice but you both had an obligation to try to make it work. But lately, it was like you were all alone in this relationship and you felt so worthless.

Wiping the tears away, you made your way to the master bedroom because you had enough. If years of therapy have taught you anything, it is that no one had the right to make you feel that way. "Come in!" His pissed off voice filtered through the door and you took a shaky breath before entering.

"Hi. I just wanted to say that I prepared all of your favorite food and you didn't even look at it." You spoke timidly.

"I told you I was not hungry." He said from the changing closet and came out in his sweats. Looking tired was something not new for Captain America now a days and everyone at work was also starting to notice the change. "Why are we pretending to be like a normal, married couple?"

"Why can't we be one? I am trying here." He looked anywhere but at you because he knew that he would see those damp eyes. That was enough to make him feel guilty and he wanted to prevent that.

"You know why. I am in love with Peggy." The most hurtful thing that your life partner can say to you and Steve just did without taking your feelings into account.

"Then you could have said something before we got married." Panic was slowly setting in because you realised that you were stuck in a marriage that is never going to work out.

"The whole government was pushing me towards this marriage and Peggy was still not ready for that kind of commitment. I was stuck with you." Steve knew that the statement hurt you the moment the words escaped his lips. This was a revelation that rocked your world. And not in a great way, might you add. "You could have rejected the proposal."

"Do you think it was that simple for me? Dad has done so much for me and this was the one thing that he asked off me so I did not refuse. I thought that you agreed to this marriage and we could work it out in the future." Those dreams were being crushed right now and you knew that this marriage was doomed. It was like a hit to your gut and you felt caged in this room with your husband.

"Well, we can not." Leaving the room, you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep because there was nothing else you could add to that conversation.

After sometime, Steve came out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he took out the food to heat it up and realised that you made all of his favorite food. He was never going to admit it but he loved your cooking. Every night he comes in to the kitchen to eat all the food that you prepared for him. However, he realised that you didn't eat any of the food so you probably went to bed hungry. The guilt was eating him up and he felt helpless because he wanted to think that he didn't care about you. But sometimes, you don't even realise when a person is warming their way into your heart.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Steve was home today and you were going out of your mind with boredom so you thought of asking him for some company.

"I am not in the mood." He was quick to dismiss the idea and turned around in the hallway while still scrolling through his phone.

"I just thought-"

"You thought nothing. Why are you so clingy? I told you I do not want to work on this relationship. You are the reason that I can not be with the love of my life. Please just leave me alone.” He rudely interrupted you because he was not in the mood to interact with anyone. Seeing a picture of Peggy on instagram, he became aware of the fact that he could not be with her because he is a married man now.

Peggy Carter had been the first person that he saw when he woke up from the ice after 40 years. She helped him to become Captain America and she was the most important person in his eyes. Those few months were really difficult for Steve but she helped him get through them. Peggy quickly became his girlfriend and when the councilmen wanted him to get married, he was quick to propose. But she told him that she was not ready to take that step and she backed off. He was still pining over her and it was not fair to blame you for everything but he needed to do that to make himself feel better.

“I am sorry.”

“(Y/N)-” You left before he could say anything else. There is only so much a person can tolerate.

Over the course of a few days, Steve noticed that you were indeed leaving him alone. You were not there to welcome him home when he got back from his missions and give him a massage even after he told you not to. You did not cook from him anymore and he really missed it. He loved the fact that you always made his favorites and you never even had to ask him. You haven’t talked to him since the night he yelled at you. Guilt was an emotion that he often felt whenever he saw you.

“So there is a charity event that we both are invited too. It’s black tie optional.” He leaned against the door as he watched you doing laundry.

“Okay, I will be ready.” These were the only five words that you have said to him in the past two weeks and they were not enough. He has missed you and your conversations. The house was too quiet now a days and he didn’t like it one bit. But he was too stubborn to be the one to break the wall.

“You have to wear a dress. Many people will be watching you because you are Captain America’s wife so please do not go with your sense of style.” He wanted to slap himself in the face when he saw you freeze. Why couldn’t he just have said something nice to her? Steve didn’t know how to talk to you without messing it up.

“Okay.” Sighing, he left the room and sulked in his bedroom for the remaining day.

You were never going to say it out loud, but you were really hurt by what he said today and that day. None of it was your fault and you have been thinking about ending this marriage. However, the thing was that you made a commitment and you were never the one to back out from things. You quickly finished doing the laundry and went to take a shower.

“Are you ready?” Steve fixed his bow tie before you opened the room and he was left speechless. You in a red dress with a slit running through the side was a side of you that he had never seen. So bold and outgoing.

“Yes. Just let me quickly apply my lipstick.” Watching you apply a red lipstick left him in a trance. His wife was truly something unique but he just ignored it. Shaking himself out of it, he thought about Peggy and how he loves her. You both left afterwards and the car ride was quiet with the exception of a few stolen glances.

‘We have to go hand in hand and smile for the red carpet.”

“Okay.”

You were always a little scared to walk in to these kinds of events and so you tightly clutched on to your husband’s arm. Steve knew that you were a little bit of an introvert so he squeezed your hand in response.

“I am going to go meet some councilmen.”

“I’ll be by the bar.” Making your way towards the makeshift bar, you ordered a martini and just sat there mixing your drink. On the other hand, Steve made polite talk with the councilmen and then excused himself to the washroom. He heard someone mention his name on his way to the washroom and that piqued his interest.

“Come on, I was never in love with Steve. He was my assignment from the S.H.I.E.L.D and that was it. I had to help Captain America adjust to this life.  I love you, Oliver and that is a fact.” Steve quickly left before he could hear anything else.

Honestly, he couldn’t believe that all those months spent with Peggy were just a lie and he was ruining his marriage because of her. He thought that it would hurt a lot but it was kind of a relief. He was now realising that he was never in love with her. It was kind of an obligation for him because he thought that he somehow owed it to Penny. But he didn’t and now he can finally give his marriage a fair try and not feel guilty about it.

“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar all alone?” Turning around, you saw Bucky with a smile adorning his face.

“Hi. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you.” You hugged your friend because he was one of the people that you were close to. You actually missed him in these past few months and were glad to see him right now. Getting in to a conversation was way easier than you thought.

“Hey Buck. What are you doing?” Your husband was quick to place his hands on the small of your back and you silently choked on his intimate gesture.

“I am fine, Stevie. Just catching up with (Y/N).”

“Oh okay. Would you mind if I take my wife to the dance floor?”

“No worries.” Silently taking you to the middle of the room, you both got to dancing and your breath hitched when he was so close to you right now. His cologne had taken over all your senses and you were drunk on him. God, it was pathetic but you could not help yourself.

“I want to try to work on our marriage.” You didn’t know if you were hearing things right now so you muttered a silent, “Come again.” He silently chuckled and repeated the sentence again. Looking at him, you stopped dancing and left the room.

“Why did you leave?” He found you at the balcony just staring at the stars with your hands wrapped around yourself. “It’s freezing.”

“Why? Why would you say something like that?” You whispered silently.

“I mean it. I want to try.”

“Don’t you love Peggy?”

“I have realised that I didn’t love her. It was like an obligation to me and I like you.”

“I can’t do this. You insulted me every chance you got and you made me think so low of myself.”

“I know and I am so sorry for that. I will spend my life apologising to you for it. Please, give me a chance.” There were some tears in your eyes and everything was becoming blurry.

“I can’t do that. I will always be your second choice.”

“No, you are not. Trust me, I have had feelings for you but I have been trying to repress them from the very start.” He tried to touch you but you took a step back.

“If we try this relationship thing out, will you promise me that you will tell me when you want to get out. We can get divorced right then and there.”

“I don’t want to be divorced and I will spend my life making it up to you.” He was quick to kiss you and it was way better than your wedding ceremony kiss. “I like you, (Y/N).”

“I like you too, Steve.” You went in to kiss him again and were glad that this marriage was going to work.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile 

Like, comment and reblog.

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[shychick-52]

THANK YOU. I was hoping you would respond, because you have the best takes, especially when it comes to Roland!!

THIS. YES. THANK YOU. Excellent point!!!

I think it was more subconsciously that Roland still felt that soft side/appreciation toward Cedric that linked back to their youth- and that it was awakened at the exhibit instead of back at the castle (despite all Cedric's attempts in Roland's daily life to prove himself loyal and helpful, Roland kept brushing him off- this time not quite so much because he lacked faith in his magic, but mostly because of how hurt and angry he still felt) because the exhibit was a much more informal, relaxing setting than the castle. It was easier there for Roland to let his defenses down, but still not to the point where the slightest mistake didn't make him twice as angry/impatient than he normally would have been prior to Cedric's treason (and even made him wonder if Cedric was purposely trying to make him look bad, because of that lack of trust).

Roland was conflicted between those reawakened feelings of friendliness/ appreciation for Cedric and his anger over his betrayal, making it difficult to truly see how Cedric was genuinely trying and also reinforcing his stubbornness (and Roland is very stubborn, which @bettathanyou agrees with).

And it must be pointed out that Roland actually allowed Cedric to come with them to the exhibit, instead of continuing to act like he wanted nothing to do him (although I do think this was strongly at Sofia's urging, but it does perhaps further imply what you pointed out about him still having some appreciation/softness for him deep down, which would awaken even more at the exhibit).

And despite Roland's strong suspicions about Cedric when it looked like he put Wormwood up to stealing the crown in the first place, like you said, he was still willing to give Cedric a chance to prove his innocence (however grudgingly), and I totally believe that was him still being conflicted.

Agreed about Wormwood!!! He's the worst (but you should totally ask Betta and @fantadym for their more nuanced takes on him; they make SO much sense).

Sorry my og post seemed so rambling. I started out with my main point being how sloppily the episode handled the revelation they were childhood friends, and how the episode almost made it seem like it was Cedric's treason that caused them to stop being friends altogether (when we know Roland lacked faith in his competence as a sorcerer ever since the incident, while Cedric had feelings of bitterness and vengeance toward him for years), but then it spiraled into how poorly their relationship was handled in season 4 in general. I hope it still made sense, and I certainly hope it didn't seem like I was blaming Roland for not really acknowledging the revelation that the incident wasn't his fault in 'Through the Looking-Back Glass' (and for being so quick to blame him for the castle shrinking in that episode, despite all his hurt/frustration about his treatment finally coming undone in 'Day of the Sorcerers' and Sofia's urging to treat him better); I did try to acknowledge that Roland had valid reasons, despite the unfairness.

I'm sorry, but it really annoys me how the episode 'In Cedric We Trust' acted like Cedric and Roland were always super close and that it was Cedric's betrayal/attempt to take over the kingdom that destroyed their childhood friendship.

It makes the from-out-of-nowhere reveal (in 'In Cedric We Trust') that they were super close as kids all the more random and clumsy.

Like, the childhood "Incident" that permanently destroyed Cedric's reputation and relationships (including with Roland)- which was already revealed in 'Through the Looking-Back Glass', and came out before 'In Cedric We Trust'- was a separate matter from Cedric's betrayal. Roland always held Cedric in disdain because of his total lack of trust in his competence in magic (but he still trusted his actual loyalty), but Cedric's betrayal also destroyed Roland's trust in his loyalty, only further ruining the bond they once shared (and their working relationship before Cedric's betrayal) instead of being the cause of it like 'In Cedric We Trust' seemed to imply.

In fact, if Cedric's freezing of the royal family and attempt to seize the throne hadn't still weighed so heavily on Roland's mind- if Cedric had never committed treason in the first place- then Roland likely would have reacted much more to the shocking revelation in 'The Looking-Back Glass' that the Incident was never Cedric's fault and that his reputation/relationships were unfairly destroyed for no reason. Roland would have felt much more remorseful. But he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge that he was wrong about Cedric being a bungler all those years, much less apologize, because his lack of trust in him for his treason was still too great and made him stubborn... despite what he already knew about how hurt and angry Cedric always felt about his treatment at everybody's hands ever since childhood, when Cedric revealed to Roland why he tried seizing the throne after the guards seized him in 'Day of the Sorcerers'; at Sofia and even Miranda's reasoning, he even actually agreed/acknowledged that Cedric couldn't have had it easy and that maybe they should treat him better.

I hc that after Roland's trust in Cedric was restored at the end of 'In Cedric We Trust' and their friendship began to be mended, Roland's faith in his magic was also fully restored (as indicated when he asked Cedric if he had a spell to fix the damaged landscape, then praised him on a job well done), and that shortly after that episode Roland actually apologized for his part in Cedric's lifelong pain. Like, that's when the realization and remorse for all he went through hit him.

Anyway, it was handled sloppily. But that was par for the course for the writing in most of season 4.