#when i listened to the vid i was like OH WAIT

[josephtrohman]

found the video that this post is a transcription of

[thekidsarentalright]

love being on the west coast bc that means i technically get to hear love from the other side tomorrow and not in two days. west coast best coast fr

[worldlxvlys]

ok hi hi hi i posted this but then i thought of dealer chris and came here but a smut w dealer chris based off the olivia rodrigo unreleased, i also realised as i was writing this that i can’t put vids here but it on my acc and i think if anyone can execute it well it’s you:))

prison for life

dwb! chris x reader

warnings: smut, p in v, cream pie, unprotected sex, mentions of blood, implied violence, death threats, cursing

a/n: i’m sorry this literally took ages to get to, i honestly wasn’t really sure how to go about it

hopefully you like it 🫶🏾

based on this

for @bethsturn <333

chris and i had been laying on my bed peacefully when i got a call.

INCOMING CALL: JAKE

ACCEPT? DECLINE?

“fuck” i said as i read the name.

“what’s wrong?” chris asked.

“you remember jake?”

“yeah, the psycho that laced your weed? kinda hard to forget”

“he’s calling” i said as i flashed the phone in his direction. “i’m just gonna let it ring” i spoke as i placed it down in between the two of us.

we watched as it went to voicemail, and waited to listen to his message.

(1) MISSED CALL FROM: JAKE

VOICE MESSAGE 1:15

OPEN?

we played the voicemail on speaker, listening together.

“what the fuck is wrong with this dude” chris spoke, his brows furrowing.

“i don’t know but this dude is all bark and no bite, i doubt he’s gonna do anything”

“you sure, ma?”

“i’m positive, i’m more worried about the fine ass man in front of me” i smiled at him as i crawled closer to him.

“yeah?” he smirked.

“mmhmm” i said as he pulled me onto his lap.

“nobody fucks me like you, baby. nobody makes me feel the way you do” i whispered as i cupped his cheek.

“oh trust me, i know” he spoke before crashing his lips on mine.

my lack of pants, due to it just being us here, seemed to please chris as his hands kneaded my ass.

i pulled my lips from his, gently biting it, making him groan.

“chris, i need you” i spoke as i felt the wetness between my legs.

“you got it, princess” he spoke, flipping us over, putting himself on top.

my elbow landed on my phone screen, making me push it off of my bed and onto the carpeted floor.

i pulled my shirt off as he kicked off his pants, revealing his hard cock straining against his boxers.

i reached forward, helping him pull his boxers off.

“ready?” he asked as he stroked himself a few times. i nodded my head in response.

he gently guided his dick into my entrance, pushing himself in.

my walls hugged and squeezed him, welcoming his veiny cock as he bottomed out.

“shit, chris. you’re so big” i moaned.

“look at that pretty, tight pussy. just for me” he groaned.

i nodded my head, silently giving him permission to move.

his thrusts started off slow and deep, and his hips started to move faster as he gained momentum.

“fuckkkk, chris! so, so good!” my moans started to increase in volume and my hands reached out for something to hold onto.

he swiftly moved his hands to mine, interlacing them as he continued to pound me into the bed.

“yes, yes, yes, chris! god, that feels so fucking good” i cried out.

his hips slowed slightly, just enough for me to notice, “you want me to stop?” he taunted me.

“no, no, no, don’t stop! please don’t- OH FUCK!” he suddenly moved faster than he had before.

his sharp thrusts pushed me farther and farther up the bed and my moans became wails.

he pushed my legs to my chest, hitting every sweet spot with the new angle.

“god, you take me so fucking well ma” he leaned down slighly, spitting onto my pussy.

he brought his thumb to my clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves feverishly.

“chris! chris! i’m cumming!” i yelled as i felt the coil in my stomach snap.

my body tensed as my orgasm crashed through me.

“so good for me, ma. fuck, gonna cum inside of that pretty little pussy” he moaned as he finished inside of me.

he thrusted a few more times, working us through our highs before gently pulling out.

we both took a few seconds to catch our breath, laying in silence.

i looked around confused as i heard a very low voice.

i moved to the edge of the bed, looking around when i realized where the sound was coming from.

i picked up my phone, which had been face down on the floor.

to my horror, i discovered that it was in a call with jake.

fuck.

i brought the phone to the middle of the bed and pressed the speaker button, immediately being met with strings of curses and yelling.

“- GONNA KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER. HE’S FUCKING MY GIRL. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? I CA-“ i quickly turned it off of speaker and muted the microphone.

i stared at chris with wide eyes, meeting his amused expression.

“how the fuck did i manage to butt-dial him?” i whisper-shouted to chris.

“i don’t know, but he doesn’t sound too happy”

i looked at him in disbelief.

“how long has he been listening?” chris asked.

i looked down at my phone, checking to see how long the call had been running.

30 minutes

“30 MINUTES? WHY THE HELL DIDN’T HE HANG UP?” i yelled.

“his weird ass was probably getting off to it or something”

i quickly unmuted the mic and turned the phone to speaker again, needing to put an end to this.

“JAKE” i yelled, shutting him up.

i’m a feminist obviously

but i wouldn’t really mind him saving me

“you.” he spoke with venom. “i’m going to fucking murder your ungrateful little bitch ass” i blinked at the phone in shock.

chris immediately spoke up, comfortingly rubbing my shoulder.

“hey, you’re done talking to her. if you have something to say, you can say it to me” he said.

and i know that i’m fine without a man

but i wouldn’t really mind his protection

“aw, how sweet. you gonna protect her? listen here, you little bitch. i have your address, sleep with one eye-“ chris cut him off.

“hey dickhead, i don’t know what about this you aren’t comprehending, but i’ll say it slower for you.” he slowed down his words, “do not talk to her, talk to me”

“i don’t appreciate being spoken to like a toddler or being cheated on. i-“ chris stopped him again, “listen man, you need to get professional help. she’s not with you, alright? you need to leave her the fuck alone”

there was a pause. “i’ll see you later, princess” jake spoke before hanging up.

i looked at chris with wide eyes, becoming nervous.

“hey, i got you ma. i’m not letting anything happen to you, you know that right?” he asked me, searching my eyes for any sign of doubt.

i nodded my head, “yeah, i just don’t want to feel unsafe in my own home”

i’m just being honest can’t change what i like

i’ll never forget it, he told me one night

he got up, starting to get dressed.

“chris? where are you going?”

“i’m gonna go find him”

“wait, what? chris, how could you possibly do that?”

“don’t worry about it, i’m gonna handle it alright?” he cupped my cheek, running his thumb along my cheek.

“chris” i whispered, becoming worried.

“hey, your safety is my top priority, ok? i’ll be fine ma”

“ok” i whispered, giving him a peck on the cheek.

with that, he left.

“if anybody hurts you..

a few hours had gone by without any word from chris.

upon hearing rapid knocking at my front door, i quickly got up to open it.

when i did, i was met with chris, covered in blood.

“chris? what the hell happened?” i asked, pulling him inside.

“i handled it.”

…i’m going to prison for life”

——————

yup, kinda ate that

dwb! chris masterlist

main masterlist

tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sturnsdior @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @rheaakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @abbie13sworld @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @sturns-posts @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf

[mygnolia]

get better! | 6. join stream 4 special guest

SMAU! synopsis -› in which your neighbor and popular twitch streamer park sunghoon breaks his arm, so he switches to vlog style content that matches up with yours! now everyone’s curious why 1) you have a cute boy in your apartment, 2) sunghoon’s not on his grind anymore, and 3) when are you two going to date!?

[1.9K WC] To be neighbors in the same apartment complex is a blessing- especially when all of your friends are across town. When you knock on Sunghoon’s door, it’s followed by a loud sound akin to a crash (is sunghoon okay???), before Sunghoon opens the door running a hand through his hair, feeling nervous.

“Hi.” He chokes out. “Come in.” You glance at his cast to make sure he’s okay, and despite his tweet from earlier where he took it off, it looks fine.

“Hi..? You..okay?” and the boy in question gives you a tight lipped smile. Was he…nervous?

You take in his apartment- it’s minimalistic in the best way, with succulents on the windows and polaroids of him and his friends hanging near the TV. While much of the furniture is white, it looks clean, and you’re glad that Sunghoon really does take care of his space. Twitch must pay him well (or used to) to have an apartment this nice.

He ushers you to his gaming room, where you see his extensive set-up. With monitors, cameras, headphones, and a glowing keyboard, you’re enamored by the way he’s gotten everything set-up all without his wires being tangled.

“I’m live- but I’m muted.” He starts, and his camera records him saying something, but the live audience on the other side is curious as to who he’s talking to since you were out of frame.

“Wait, I need a chair, right?” And it makes Sunghoon pause his one handed typing on the keyboard, mumbling a quiet ‘oh,’ before he stands back up.

“Here. Sit.” Sunghoon pushes you slightly to the gaming chair before your can protest, his movement awkward and robotic as he makes you sit down. The thought of Sunghoon being as nervous as you makes you smile, before you remember who you’re in front of.

‘IS THAT HIS GF’ ‘omg with yn rent free’ ‘YNNN I LOVE UR VIDS’ ‘bro they’re LITERALLY DATING’

When your eyes scan the messages, you call for Sunghoon to come back, who’s barely passed the door. “Let me unmute and introduce myself.” You suggest. And the streamer finds his palm becoming even more sweaty as he clicks a few buttons to turn the mic on. You watch him intently, and send him a warm smile as your thanks.

“Hi guys.” you wave at the camera before giving him the green light to get the chair that you need.

‘omg she’s so pretty’ ‘who is this wtf’ ‘where’s hoon lol’ ‘HIII YNNNNN’

A smile makes it’s way on your face with the last message. “My name is ____, and Sunghoon’s invited me over. Did he say anything to you guys?”

‘stream is called join live 4 special guest’ ‘nooo he never said anything’ ‘are you two tgt or what’

“We’re not together.” You confirm with a nervous smile, afraid of what would happen if his diehard fans found out about his relationship. “He’s just here to teach me bedwars.” The chat gets even faster- if it’s even possible. Questions and theories about your friendship with Sunghoon continue to pop up. “But don’t leave!” You say after you see some disinterest. “You guys should totally learn with me. Is there anyone who also doesn’t know how to play? Just..” You try to find the right words. “Think of Sunghoon as like, your boyfriend who’s teaching you bedwars.”

‘are he the one you keep tweeting about’ ‘YN IS HERE WOAHH’ ‘no yn you’re the gf he’s teaching’ ’so endgame couple!!’

The scraping of the chair as your neighbor tries to bring it in with one hand is funny to listen to outside of the door, and you giggle when you hear him curse, leaning out of frame to see if he’s okay or if he needs help.

“I heard that.” Sunghoon says when he’s in your range of vision, and it catches on the mic. With the way his viewers see your face light up now that he’s here, they automatically assume you two really have something going on. You’re only relieved to have him take over, no longer having to see some of the negative messages that fly by. At least on YouTube, you could ignore it all. Here? it’s all live, and you see it all.

Sunghoon sets up the chair and makes sure you’re comfortable before assuming his spot.

“What’s up bae-bees?” And you fight yet another smile at that stupid name. “This is Y/N. Makes vlog content but I think my gameplay is much more fun to watch. And by the way, check out our Q n A on her channel.” He glances over to you, and now that you’re properly able to look at him, you see the makeup that he had on for the photoshoot; and you can’t just not admit that Sunghoon is cute with his blush across the nose and freckles. You saw the after photoshoot post from him, too.

‘wait so dating rumors..???’ ‘DATING OR SIBLINGS’

“Are you two dating? Absolutely not.” He sends you a teasing grin, one that makes you swat at his shoulder with an indignant look- yeah, you’re not beating these dating allegations.

“Wow, you hate me? We spend like, 7 hours together the other day, and then you texted me saying you were outside- I thought we were friends!” And Sunghoon feels a flood of panic pass through him. Yes- he knows exactly what you mean. But his chat? his friends? Everyone who has just heard you speak? They have zero idea without context.

You’re not use to phrasing things as a streamer, and in an effort to calm his faster than light chat, Sunghoon stammers, “Yeah, we were cleaning so much of your new place. And those texts were all jokes- I’d never do that to a friend.”

Nodding in agreement without understanding the commotion you’ve caused, you try to read more of the chat.

‘pick me’ ‘ur too cute for her’ ‘she’s so cringe’

When Sunghoon sees the same things you do, his expression hardens, suddenly feeling upset. He was worried that this would happen. “Just because ____ isn’t in the gaming space or a streamer doesn’t mean you guys have the right to be mean to her. She puts in just as much effort into her videos and marketing her channel as much as I do for my gameplays. Please be nice, or I won’t be as willing to do special streams in the future.”

With appreciation, you pat his wrist, which is out of frame. You’re not really sure how to defend yourself against such baseless accusations, and considering Sunghoon’s not even your boyfriend, they have a reason to be so much more toxic and rude towards you without him defending you the way a boyfriend would.

“Maybe I should leave-“ You whisper to only him, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

Sunghoon shakes his head. “No, let me return the favor- plus, you wanted to learn bedwars. I’ll teach you the ropes.” His reassuring words make you feel more inclined to stay, not feeling as negative and embarrassed as before. He returns his attention to the chat after uncovering his mic, seeing some of his friends have seen the special title for today’s stream and joined.

“Hi Riki, Hee, Jay. Where’s Jake?” You peer over to see their verified badges with special colors appear, and Sunghoon reads their comments out loud. “Okay- enough of that. I’ll be teaching her how to play, now, so I might not be checking chat. As always, please be nice, and seeing as all my friends are in chat, there are even more mods available to ban you guys.” His voice is stern, but you can tell how much Sunghoon hates being mean to his fans.

simjake: ‘hi y/n please kick his ass so he’ll stfu.’

Sunghoon catches he quicker than you do, reading it with widened eyes. “Please kick his ass so he’ll shut the fuck up? Dude, If we’re on fortnite tonight, you���re last choice for squads.”

“But you can’t even play, Sunghoon.” You point out, and he frowns- trying his best to pretend that a kid on a bike wasn’t the whole reason he’s going bankrupt.

“I’m learning how to use it with the cast.”

“Don’t doctors tell you to literally not use it so it heals faster?” And he shrugs. Sunghoon’s arm really isn’t healing anytime soon, even if he swears it is.

“Well- anyways.” He uses his good arm to pull up the running tab for Minecraft, his avatar already in an empty lobby for you to practice. “Y/N is going to learn bedwars!”

Your face falls, and you look over to Sunghoon in horror. “I thought we were going to learn first. Without the stream.

He shakes his head with a half shrug, and moves his mouse around to make sure it’s still working like how he needs it to. “I think chat will find it funny to watch.”

You straighten up with determination and tell him to scoot over so you can place your hands on and familiarize yourself with the keyboard.

“Try the spacebar,” Sunghoon says with pride, and you laugh at how nerdy it sounds coming from him. After clicking the key a few times, and experimentally typing in the MInecraft chat, he begins to explain how to play, and you do your best to listen to him as he instructs you. “You know how to play, yes?” And your slight experience whenever you come to play on Sunoo’s set-up comes in handy for basic things like managing the game controls.

His 20k viewers all noticed a few things that neither of you picked up- both too engrossed in learning how to bridge without falling off, but also trying to fight and defend from other players.

They noticed how you liked to poke fun at Sunghoon sometimes- similar to your Youtube video where you’d make small but funny digs, and Sunghoon would go along with it. Everyone noticed how he was gently reassuring you with a hand on your shoulder or his fingers intertwining with yours when you stood up in frustration to pull it back to the mouse. Sunghoon here wasn’t the same flirty streamer who read his chat, called people his wife, or yelled at his friends (all in good fun!) when they lost match point; he was doting, and calm, with eye-crinkling smiles and praises everytime you bridged enough blocks to the other side. And after a bit more than an hour, you became tired of falling off the cliff from dynamite, or running out of golden apples to eat when you were running away- all to Sunghoon’s amusement.

You bid farewell to his chat, who all had fun watching you get excited while playing. For the gamers who watched Sunghoon’s channel, you le gameplay and reactions reminded them of the excitement it felt to play for the first time, and the problems they used to encounter trying to get better.

Sunghoon returns, with his chin resting on his good hand was he lazily reads chat. “He’s so in love.” He reads, scoffing. “Absolutely not, me and her are just friends. I’d do it for anyone.”

‘he’s so whipped’ simjake: ‘simphoon’ ‘someone get this man a gf’ heeonmic: ‘SIMPHOON BYEEE’

For the rest of his live, Sunghoon practices playing, blaming you offhandedly for cursing his keyboard and it was the reason why he was doing so bad. “Stop bothering ____ with us dating. Honestly she probably doesn’t even want a boyfriend.”

And how he was wrong.

prev. | ml. | next.

REN SAYS... i am my own writer. yes, i included sunghoon's selfie with biceps even though technically it wasn't needed because my brain needs it to be canon...

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[qrrieterisunnq]

Could you make like an insta edit thingie where Nico has a secret girlfriend and there’s been some suspiciousness from fans why he keeps smiling so much during interviews looking at something that can’t be seen by the camera. So it would be like a shirt vid on the devils page from like his post game interview and then the comment section trying to figure things out and then Jack dropping a bit of a bomb just for fun that doesn’t actually reveal anything but just that there’s someone

Thank you for requesting, anon! I had so much fun writing this! Hope you’ll like it. 🫶🏽❤️

Someone is there - Nico Hischier

nico!hischier x fem!reader Summary: Where Nico has a secret girlfriend. The fans are suspicious about him dating someone because, at his every post-raw, he's smiling at someone behind the cameras. Jack then comments on it, revealing something bout the girl. request: yes/no gif not mine likes are good, reblogs are better <3 word count: 0,5K warning(s): instagram post, cute Nico

masterlist | wip's

njdevils

liked by nicohischier, jackhughes, jesperbratt, and others

njdevils Intermission interview with Captain!

(tagged nicohischier)

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user68_ his smile is so gorgeous!! 🥰

user009 where is he looking?? Who's standing there?

user52 I swear he's getting more sexy every fucking minute!

╰➤ user4_289 @/user52 Every second!! The Swiss man is hotter than lava!

nico_hischieer I mean, look at them, they'd look great together.

╰➤ user5587 @/nico_hischier like yeah, they both look cute, but you see how he's looking behind the cameras?

╰➤ nico_hischieer @/user5587 Yeah, the smile he has as soon as he looks behind them! Think there's someone?🤨

user13 You see that? The smile he has when he looks behind the cameras? Sure there's someone, who makes him smile like this!

╰➤ us_888_er @/user13 don't even say it! HE HAS TO BE SINGLE!! 😫

user88 omg!! He's dating someone! The smile!! He's so in love!!🥰🥹

╰➤ user5 @/user88 no, he's not! He smiled because someone bumped their head into the light! If he was with someone, he'd post at least a story with them!

╰➤ user88 @/user5 No he wouldn't! What if she ain't comfortable with the attention?

╰➤ user5 @/user88 Oh I haven't thought abt it! 🫢

nico_13_hischier who is he looking at?

liked by user71

nj_fan_devils Wait! Listen! He's playing better past the four months! He's always looking up in the family section with a smile every time he shoots a goal!

╰➤ jacks_whore86 @/nh_fan_devils Oh! You're totally right! I thought that I imagined it! But Yeah! He looks happiest!🫶🏽🥰

╰➤ nhl_fan_devils @/jack_whore88 Whoever the girl is, I swear if she breaks his heart, I'll find her and... But I want to thank her for making him happy and loved!🫶🏽🩷

hischier13 you guys are delusional! It's clear he's not dating anyone! He said it million times that he wants to focus on his career!

jackhughes looking handsome!! 😫🥵 Sorry dove! But I might steal him from you! Wanna enjoy this night with him!😏

╰➤ amara_james @/jackhughes wanna sleep on a couch, loverboy? 🤔🤨 Anyway you played amazing Nico! And the goal was insane!@

liked by lhughes_06, dawson1417, nicohischier

╰➤ nicohischier @/jackhughes someone's in trouble, should keep your mouth shut!🤣 anyway I wouldn't come with ya! @/amara_james thank you Ara!! ❤️🫶🏽

╰➤ jackhughes @/amara_james no baby, I’ll be sleeping with ya!😏 @/nicohischier and you shut your mouth loverboy! You’re pussywhipped! I thought you find me enough attractive to spend a night with me, yk? But I get it, you have miss of Switzerland at home so

liked by yourusername

user66 what is going on!! why did Jack apologize??🤨❗️

╰➤ user_91 @/user66 better questing who he apologize to 🤔🤔 is Nico really dating someone?!

╰➤ user023 @/user_91 probably to Amara! It looks like he's apologizing to her for the next sentence! 😶

╰➤ user_77_6 @/user 023 @/user91 nah jack calls amara berry or strawberry he wasn't apologizing to her

dawson1417 looking divine Cap!

liked by nicohischier, lhughes_06, amara_james and others

us679 what the hell is Jack talking about?? What miss of Switzerland?? Is Nico dating a model?!

user1 @/us679 nah I think he was just making fun of his nationality

us679 @/user1 or maybe he's really dating a Miss of Switzerland

[bunmurdock]

Another niche ask :p

Since we all know how sensitive Matt is I can’t help but think about him cumming untouched. I was watching a porn vid and it reminded me so much of Matt I just had to share 😚

The smallest things could bring him to an orgasm; the feeling of a gentle breeze brushing over his nipples and member, the lingering scent of your arousal in the air, the sound of your voice on his phone as you tell him about your day.

He’s ashamed of himself. Of how he’s desperately humping the air, his sweatpants pulled down to his mid thigh while his left hand rests against the cheap leather couch he’s sitting on, tightly gripping a pair of your damp underwear from the wet dream you had this morning. He doesn’t need to hold it up to his face to be able to smell it. Head tilted up towards the ceiling, right hand holding his phone to his ear, biting his lip to avoid whimpering. He’s so close—

“Matt? Are you even listening to me?”

It brings him back to reality, the orgasm that was bubbling in his stomach is slowly starting to subside. “Y-Yeah, yeah I’m listening sweetheart.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah no, no I promise everything’s fine. Just keep talking pup…” It was stupid to use that name, having immediately given away his intention for why he called you. You’re quiet, processing his words and putting together the puzzle pieces. You know what he’s doing. But instead of calling him out on it you continue, telling him about your plans for tomorrow and something funny a coworker said to you, and that’s what does it for him. Your laugh. It’s beautiful, and absolutely you. He clenches his jaw as he cums, painting his bare chest with his seed.

Didn’t mean to feature a sprinkle of phone sex/sub Matt but shit happens 😝

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=65bf7331f1ee3

The link ^^^

-😼

OH MY GOD THE VIDEO FUCK.

okay okay so like. matt calling sweetgirl!reader, right? and you're totally unsuspecting, excitedly recounting the events of your day—where you went and what you did—asking for his opinions on random things. but today, he's less vocal than usual, just hums and nods along on the other side of the line. it isn't until the third "mhm. what else, sweetheart." that you catch on. i think it'd be so cute if reader were to be like "matt did you hear anything i said. wait, oh my god are you-" and when he groans an affirmation, she facepalms and hangs up, leaving him to his own devices until he cums hard playing back in his mind her voice crooning in his ear :3

share your mm thoughts

[hazardparadox]

Okay listen, I just need to talk rant about these two memes (pics?) That have been rotting in my camera roll for a sec because I'm bored and waiting for my flight

Found on pinterest in the deep dark corners (probably not. I just kept scrolling and found them)

For the first one OH MY FUCK I WAS DYING WHEN I FIRST SAW IT. I live for the Oscar and Carlos drama and it was by far my fave thing to come from the 2023 season (the landoscar podiums were great too I guess) I just think it's so funny with all the comparisons to carlando and landoscar

Pls I literally sent it to way too many people to the point where one of my friends blocked me

And it's also got baby Oscar who looks pretty much the same and showing more emotion than he ever has in f1 (jk) (sorta) and the whole expression is just so funny to look at AND JUST LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SMIRK!!!

But anyway all the Oscar/Carlos memes and things are the funniest shit ever I swearrrr and if anyone has more (vids or posts or anything) memes I'd love to see it

THE NICKNAME AND THE PRONOUNCIATION OF A NAME.

This is so special to me oh my god.

I don't even know why but something about this is so precious and the way that it's so perfect and accurate and ARGJHSHF I'm just a sucker for this kind of stuff and they're all so important to me omg

And the video of Max saying 'Charlie' 😭❤️ (but let's bfr he probably didn't say it. BUT I CAN STILL ACT LIKE ITS TRUE)

I swear I've seen a compilation of Lando saying 'Oscah' but I have no idea where or if it was just a figment of my imagination but it's just stupidly cute to me

Also I just love the pic of Lando and Max in general

Here's an extra for you if you read suffered through the whole rant

[bookishdreamer28]

꘎♡━━Idiots in love━━♡꘎

With the one and only,Gojo Satoru 𓆩♡𓆪

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Suguru and Shoko had said that multiple times already. Satoru and Y/N were f oblivious, that they couldn't see what was right in front of them. They were either playing the idiots or they were actually idiots.

The said group of 4, were ready to go grab some food and then head to Shoko's home for movie night. Once they reached their destination, they went to their table and ordered their fave food. While Suguru and Shoko were talking about something she saw today on her way home, Satoru and Y/N were in their own little bubble, for once. Again.

Y/N was showing a funny vid she found to Satoru, but what she didn't noticed, was that all of his attention was on her, and her only.

"Oh look at that, isn't thi-"

"You're so cute."

"What did you just say?" She asked a bit flustered. Did she heard him correctly?

"I said you look like a boot." Satoru exclaimed fast, once he realized he said what he's been thinking, for a long time now, out loud.

"Wha- I look like a boot? This doesn't even make sense, egghead!" Y/N gave him a little slap on his forehead.

"Ow that was mean."

"You just said I look like boot!"

"Yeah well that Was mean tho. You're lucky you're cute." Satoru gave her a small smirk.

"Ugh you're unbelievable." And their bickering started again. Suguru and Shoko on the other head, had to hold their laughter. They just couldn't believe how oblivious they were.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Hey I thought of something." Satoru approached Y/N and hugged her side.

"Well that's orginal." Y/N said with a teasing smile.

"Ha ha. Anyways, I want you to tell me...how do I know if I have a crush on someone?" Once he said that Y/N looked at him like he said the weirdest thing ever. Which somehow, it was. why would he even ask her that? Does he actually have a crush on someone? And who is this someone? And why she cares?

"W-well, you think about them all the time, you feel strange when they're around, and then you just- why are you looking at me like that?" Satoru was looking at Y/N, like he had hearts on both his eyes and his cheeks were slightly pink.

"Uh? OH! Ah NoTHinG". He said with a cracked voice.

"😶"

"😳"

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Can you tell me already, what in the world you two are doing?" Shoko said to Satoru. The two of them were out for some coffee, since they finished with their work early.

"What exactly you're talking about?" Satoru looked confused.

"Oh don't play dumb with me too. You and Y/N. Why is it that you're not together already?" That made Toru stop on his tracks and look at Shoko.

"WHAT? Where did this come from?? She's my friend. I can't just go and tell her something like this. "

"Is that really all she is to you? Just a friend. Dude, yesterday you told her she had nice lips. Who even says that?" She said chuckling. She could no believe how stupid he was. How stupid both of them were.

"I mean she Does have nice lips th- OK WHERE IS THIS EVEN GOING?" He said shouting a little. And he now looked flustered. Shoko smirked.

"Ok. And how about all the times, you talked about how perfect she is, how she looked beautiful in that dress she wore on our night out, how she has the cutest smile in the world. Friends don't talk about each other that way."

"Yeah yeah I know but that- wait? What do you mean each other?" Satoru asked curiously.

"Oh. Well, Y/N has said a few quite interesting things about you as well, but I'm Not saying anything more. All I'm going to say, is put us all all of our misery and admit it already."

Satoru didn't listen to anything else she had to say, cuz he was to busy thinking about all this. Was there really a chance that Y/N actually felt something for him, too?

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

There was an amazing spot on the beach, where Toru and Y/N were now going. He called her to invite her to spend a day on the beach, along with their friends. Even tho Satoru wasn't really into the idea of having their friends along with them, he didn't really cared since he was going to spend time with Y/N either way.

Once the group arrived to the beach, they started unpacking their stuff and some went to play volleyball and some for swimming. Satoru and Y/N were left behind. The two were now laying on their beach towels, talking about general stuff. While they were talking, Toru's hand grabbed Y/N's soflty and started playing with her fingers. Y/N was flustered and didn't utter a word. In all 3 years they've been knowing each other, none of this kind of affection was a big deal. But now it felt different. Good different.

While Y/N was looking at the sea, thinking about all these, Satoru was staring at her with lovestruck eyes and a soft smile painting his face. She felt his stare but didn't dare to look at him. She didn't understand why they both acted like this. What was even that? Why this tension?

After a few moments, Toru spoke.

"Uhm just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn't like, mean anything by the way. Not, i that way, at least...Unless you want it...ti mean something. I don't mind. That's cool." He felt like he wasn't making any sense right now and he was ready to jump into the water and never get back to the shore.

Y/N was giving him a questioning look right now, and tried to understand what was he even saying. Satoru's eyebrows were scrunched together in deep thought.

"Do you thing that this, us...do you think it could ever be something..more?" Y/N was now starting at him with wide eyes and mouth hanged open.

"Wait us? What do you mean us? Us, together? A couple?" She felt her whole bdoy sweating and she was struggling with words. Satoru noticed that, and brought her hand close to his chest. Where his heart, was beating fast.

"I think I'm falling in love with you. No. I've been in love with you for longest time. A-and I don't know why, but I thought you didn't feel the same way and I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything, but I couldn't resist. I mean, you're just so beautiful and awesome."

Y/N was ready to pass out. All this time, all this flirt, was because he ahd feelings for her?

"Oh wow. Too much to process already. I thought you were just teasing me because you know...we were friends. And this is what you do. And I didn't make any move because I thought you didn't feel the same way."

The two stayed in silence, listening to their friends laughing, the waves. Then, out of nowhere, they started giggling like two idiots. Y/N laid her head on his shoulder, and he pressed his mouth on her hair, as if trying muffle his laughing.

"God we're idiots." She said through her laughter and moved her head to look at Toru. And he was already staring at her smiling warmly.

"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"Oh and now this sounds like you're flirting." She said with a small voice and a smile, while scouting closer to him. As close as possible.

".....I have been trying to do that for three years now." He said with a teasing voice. They both stared at each other, no more words exchanged. Because they didn't need to say anything. Their eyes spoke for them.

"..."

"..."

"Do you want...to kiss?"

".....yeah."

And so, their faces leaned closer and their lips sealed into a sweet kiss. His hands were around Y/N's waist as he pulled her closer, goosebumps swarming every part of her body that he touched. After a while, the kiss broke for a second, a smile stretching Toru's face.

"I love the taste of your lips on mine."

"Then stop talking and kiss me again." Y/N murmured and grabbed his neck and pulled him close to her face again.

He kissed her back again, fingers softly sliding down the side of her face. They were paying no attention to anything or anyone now. They were too lost in their kiss to do that. Too busy to notice their friends looking at them with huge smiles on their faces.

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A/N: Every time I write romance/fluff fics, I never see how mushy and sweet they are, until I get to reread them 😂

Btw, Nanami, Suguru and many more anime characters fanfics are coming, so stay tuned lovelies ♡

And for once again, thank you for liking my posts and I hope you'll enjoy reading this one too!!!

[petrssecrethideout]

"Bro, do you wanna hear about something crazy?"

"I mean sure, go ahead,"

"Alright, so I was just relaxing, scrolling TikTok,"

"Already a bad idea."

"I know, I got beef with that fuckin' algorithm let me tell you. I follow a couple of bodybuilders, post a couple of gym vids and suddenly my For you page is filled with the biggest assholes alive. Anyway, I'm scrolling, and I see this guy, he's doing that whole 'alpha top dog' thing even though he's not that big."

"Okay wait pause, how big is not that big?"

"I don't know, I have more muscle in my arms than he has in his whole body, real gym influencer type."

"Alright, for anyone listening to the pod at home, I should probably just say that this guy could be anywhere from 150-300 pounds from Dale's description of him, okay? He's not good at judging what normal guys look like anymore."

"Yeah, okay, you got me. Anyway, this guy keeps going on about his great advice, so I stick around to hear it. You wanna know what he said? 'Stop Cumming, its killing your natural testosterone' What kind of bullshit is that!?"

"I mean that is a big part of the current fitness world, these guys will say anything to get more followers, and a lot of their followers are so desperate for progress that they'll take whatever advice they're given."

"It's a shame, because he's also wrong! I tried that whole 'No Nut Whatever' and its been the only time in these last 5 years that I've plateaued."

"... Really?"

"Yeah! If I'm not cranking a load out every day I can kiss any potential gains goodbye."

"Wait,"

"Like after my workouts, when I got a huge pump going, I just have to crank one out, like what good workout would it be if I didn't"

"Dale c'mon,"

"And its not like I can just hit up a guy on Grindr and go to town every time I need to, there aren't enough guys on Grindr for that."

"Uggggh dude, we are never getting a sponsor with you talking like this."

"What, so all the straight alpha dudebros can talk about semen retnetion and get a ton of followers, but I get censored for talking about jacking off and getting tons of ass?"

"Yeah, we will."

"Well then, listeners, go subscribe to the patreon so that I can talk about my actual tips for growing, and so that you can help Mark get bigger. I'm telling you, I'm gonna make this boy huge with your help. Audio listeners make sure to check the videos so you can see this boy get huge. Now bro, help me out here. You don't want those Tiktok gymfluencers to win do you? How often are you jerkin off?"

"Oh god I can't believe I'm answering this... A couple of times a week maybe?"

"A week? That's fucking crazy. My average is like 4-5 times a day. More if I'm really feeling horny. If I'm being honest I jerked off a few weeks ago on the pod, like I forgot to before I came here. One of the comments mentioned something about my grunting that episode."

"Jesus christ dude, how do you even manage that?"

"Well, you gotta work up to it. I couldn't do that starting out, but once I started growing I was so horny I had to do something about it. I think that's what these guys don't get. You gotta get those balls working, give them a reason to keep making that sweet testosterone. How are you supposed to do that if you aren't jacking it? Honestly dude, I feel like I gotta prove these guys wrong now."

"What, you're gonna be a cum warrior?"

"Hell yeah man, I'm gonna be fighting the war on jerking it, on the side of jerking it!"

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Avatar Love talk 3: Game vs Action

Follow up from (and also defending Kyo in this vid)

Yangchen: I plead the fifth on what Kuruk said. No idea why you two think you got your horny ass desires from me. Kyoshi: I'm not the one who sensually listened to the sound of Kavik writing with a pencil, but go off? Yangchen: Again, pleading the fifth! Anyway I still think Kyoshi has the least amount of game. Kyoshi: Really? We're still on this? Can't we talk about something else? Wan: Like your mommy issues? Kyoshi, pushing his face away and knocking him down: Ok, defending my "game" it is. Yangchen: Kyoshi, really, just accept it. You can't flirt for shit. Kyoshi: Again, I don't need to. Yangchen: You keep saying that! How do you expect to get anyone if you can't or don't flirt? Kyoshi: I walk into the room and look at them. Maybe smile, if I'm feeling feisty. Yangchen: That's not going to work- Wan: It worked for you, Yangchen. Yangchen: *deflated* Kyoshi: Oh so it's "flirting" and "super game" if Yangchen does it, but if Kyoshi does it then I'm just lucky? Wow. Hmmm. So fair. Yangchen: Kyoshi, you had two years with Rangi and Yun and I had five minutes with Kavik. We are not the same. Kyoshi: Listen, Yangchen, I think we've got it all wrong. It isn't about game or flirting. It's about action. I know how to get my girl going- Wan: Yangchen knows how to get Kavik going too! Yangchen: SHut UP, Wan! .......Yeah I know how to get Kavik going too, blow steam in his ear, fling him off a bison, what's your point????? Korra: Wait, fling him off a-? Kyoshi: Oh no no, Yangchen. That's not what I mean. You see, I'm probably going to go down in history as "World's best daughter-in-law." Whenever I sincerely talk about how I'm going to take care of Rangi or Hei-Ran, and Rangi melts into a literal puddle at my feet. Korra: So, like, you're amazing moral character is how you flirt? Kyoshi: No, it's not flirting. It's doing. Actions. Like I said before, they like me for who I am. And maybe because I have a good smile too. Kuruk: Being good looking does help. Yangchen: Ugh, where are you going with this? Kyoshi: I'm getting to it. What I want to say is, 'What's so great about having game, when the real measure should be the results?' Yangchen: *rolls eyes* 'Results.' Please, Kyoshi. We all know I had Kavik wrapped around my finger. Kyoshi: So you got with him? Yangchen: I-well uh- Kyoshi: Tell me, Yangchen. Which one of us actually GOT their boo in the end? Hm? Yangchen: .......... Kyoshi: Only actions and outcomes matter, Yangchen. What's so great about your "game" if you can't even "win"? Wan: I haven't seen a burn this severe since that volcano took out Roku. O-O Voice on the phone: 911, what's you're emergency? Korra, on the phone: I just witnessed a murder! I mean both parties are already dead-can the dead die twice?????

[anarchyatthesupermarket]

I want to yell about fic and chapter titling stuff for my necromancy au so like link to series and then spoilers under that

I don't know how much of this will make sense. It's last so my brain isn't working at %100 and I'm autistic so my brain also works in weird ways. I'm bad at articulating my thoughts like this so it all sounded so much better in my head but I had to try. I may add onto this as I get more thoughts about it.

first off, the title of the series itself: "Wait for me, I'm coming, wait, I'm coming with you". Hadestown is based on the greek tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice (my favorite myth). In both the myth and my fic it's a story about a character trying to get someone they love back thought for my necromancy au it's familial love. I also named this series when I didn't know if it was going to end well or not for Rae (I still don't know but shush, we're not going to talk about that).

The first fic: "I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him unground" from Talk by Hozier references Orpheus and Eurydice. I don't have as much to say about this fic bc I wasn't putting as much thought into the chapter names when I wrote them. "Is this a bunker or a shallow grave" (Hollow Moon, The Crane Wives) references the fact that Rae was just pulled from a grave and how whenever he gets anxious those feelings bring up images of dirt/drowning/death. "Can we skip past the death-death cliches" (Touch, Sleeping at Last) is because that's the chapter where Centross dies but is also brought back to death, he gets to "skip" death.

Second fic: "Though I knew my heart would break" (Francesca, Hozier) is abour Everett and Raemond's death and Francesca by Hozier is about two lovers from Dante's Inferno who die together and then spend the rest of eternity together much like how Everett and Raemond are buried together in the same grave. It's a love song about not regretting the choices that brought them to the end/hell because she (Francesca) would do it all again if she ended up with her lover.

Third fic: "All I want is to flip a switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed" (Touch, Sleeping At Last). Again, partially bc this is a telling of what happened around Centross' death but from Fenris/Centross' pov so it felt right to use the same song. Also again, bringing Centross back to life is fixing something that broke.

Fourth fic: "What will you leave behind? Oh we all still die" (Willow Tree March, The Paper Kites) is about Rae trying to figure out his spot in Lodestar Grove in the aftermath of Centross's death. In this fic he talks to Centross and Momboo and his relationship with both of them has changed a lot, he's gotten closer to Centross while any hope of a friendship with Momboo has been left behind with Centross' death.

5th fic: "How long have you been harboring that venom" (My mind now, Paris Paloma) is referring to the venom/hatred Rae has developed for his magic. There's a line in the song ("was it a first offense?") which I feel like fits really well also to what's going on in Rae's mind at this time with what's happening with Momboo (she hates him so much for one thing that he did) and with himself (beating himself up over loosing control once in the library) while also trying to figure out if he (Rae) did something earlier to deserve being treated like he is.

6th fic: "All my love and terror balanced there between those eyes" (Abstract psychopomp, Hozer). Listen, I just love this song. I don't have a lot to say about Caspian's chapter ("the feeling came late, I'm still glad I met you") by itself but Aax's ("the memory hurts but does me no harm") makes me think about how in FableSMP Aax and Rae knew each other as children even though that isn't canon to this au and Fenris' ("the moment I knew I'd no choice but to love you") feels like Rae's finally accepting that he loves his boyfriends and he's happy and he took so long to figure it out ("the feeling came late") and he wants to treasure the time he has with them even though he's going to bring his family back which Rae is convinced will make Cas/Aax/Fenris/everyone hate him but he doesn't want to throw the present away because of the future ("I'm still glad I met you" even though it's going to end badly like a certain greek myth).

7th fic: "My mind has not been silent" (my mind now, Paris Paloma) is Rae telling Jamie about what happened with Momboo that's been unable to ever fully stop thinking about her words. It's also from the same song as fic #5 with mirror (ish) plot lines of someone close to Momboo finding Rae and talking to him as he's struggling with seeing himself as a monster though Rae tells Jamie what happened between him and Momboo but doesn't tell Fenris.

the 8th fic is just a bunch of short stories but I think the title "we're nothing but myths now" (Yeti, Paris Paloma) fics because it's going to be filled with one-shots of stuff that happened away from what's happening directly around Rae and often talking about stuff that happened before Fenris dug Rae up

#9: "Nothing lasts forever, some things aren't meant to be" (Hello My Old Heart, The Oh Hellos), even if Rae isn't constantly thinking about it in this fic there's this acceptance that he's going to bring back his family and the life he built with his friend's can't last. The mentions of rigor mortis, livor mortis, and adipocere return and there's the last time he gets to hang out with Athena, Jamie, Aax, Caspian, and Fenris bc Rae doesn't know if his relationships with them will survive what he has planned.

#10: "If I don't make it back from where I've gone just know I loved you all along" (Inkpot Gods, The Amazing Devil) is Rae going through with his plan despite his belief that he's going to loose his friends. He talks to Isla's grave but we never get to see Rae saying goodbye to his partners (unlike how he got to say goodbye to his family before their death). Maybe he wanted their last memories of him before they realize he's a monster to be good and happy? And in the end he doesn't make it back because bringing his family back proves to be too much.

[jiyansthesis]

ROOKIE ☆ MISTAKE

SIMON "GHOST" RILEY

x reader

summary: you and ghost are on a mission to take out a diamond dealer, but something obviously just had to go wrong. "the objective is complete. that means that price will be happy, even if we're not."

note: heavily based off of this asmr vid i came across lmao. just thought i had to put it into writing and add a bit more (i was rolling around giggling listening to it when i was trying to sleep). so if it seems similar to my other post, i had to keep most of the events in here similar to the video so i didn't have much room to work with. ty for the love on my other post! this will have 2 parts :) i just wanted to make pt.1 the whole vid

not proofread // gender neutral

pt. 2

☆☆.

"all right rookie, listen up," price's voice came from your radio. "you'll rendezvous with ghost. the mission itself is simple, you're taking out a diamond dealer, who's been causing no end of trouble for the local community."

you glanced out the opening that was supposed to be a window, but had no glass. the sun was quickly setting, and you knew once it got dark your job was going to be a lot more harder.

"-so, it's important that you take him out as quietly, and as quickly, as possible." you didn't get to hear what he said before that, but you knew it wasn't that important in terms of the mission. you weren't that experienced when it came to working in the field, but you guessed that taking out one man wouldn't be very hard.

"the only thing is," price sighed, "uh, well, he's a highly decorated sniper from spetsnaz."

oh. fucking fantastic. you groaned, rubbing a hand up and down your face.

"i just had to fucking jinx it," you mumbled.

after a momentary pause, as if he had heard you, price continued.

"he's most likely on the hunt for you as well, so when you meet up with ghost, make sure you spend some time to survey the area."

the fact you had ghost with you made you more hopeful. he's one hell of a good shot, and there's no way you weren't completing this mission with him at your side. you basically have to sit back and relax.

"do everything you can, to protect yourself, and whenever you're ready, take out the target. this is your first test rookie. i've got expectations for you."

you got ready to press the button on the radio to reply that you understood, but price continued.

"and, about simon. he can be a little. . . off. but don't let that put you off. if he insults you, he's sarcastic. or he'll always make your life hell." the man on the other side chuckled. "that means he likes you."

waiting for the confirmation to speak, you were cut off by, "alright rookie, price out." and nothing else was said.

you slipped your radio away, waiting for ghost to appear. you've heard a lot about him, but mostly from other rookies, who feared and respected him. you didn't know what to expect.

it was a few moments of silence before you heard the footsteps of someone coming, you held your gun ready just in case it wasn't ghost, but quickly lowered it once you saw his telltale mask.

he made his way over to you in silence, all the way to where you were standing near the window. you slightly scooted back on instinct, and before you realized what you even did, ghost noticed.

"what's the matter?" he said in his accented voice. "don't believe in ghost stories?"

"what?" you replied.

"have i got something on my fucking face?" he probably said that in response to your wide eyes.

you bit back the snarky and know-it-all response of "that fucking mask", and instead quickly replied no.

he turned his head away from you, looking back outside.

"i've been here for 45 fucking minutes," he paused. "and you- you didn't even fucking clock me once. not once."

you stayed quiet.

"my conclusion, my calculation, my epiphany, is that you, must be the rookie that price has been fucking banging on about for the past few weeks. i would've asked but, only a rookie would not be able to clock that they was being stalked, followed, or otherwise, shadowed."

it was true, you hadn't noticed him until he purposefully made his presence known with the way he stomped over to you. you didn't even know he was here for as long as you had been.

"only a absolutely fucking numpty could be the rookie. and only an absolute rookie would make that mistake." he continued on.

price was right. this guy practically shits out insults.

"you are the rookie," he pointed at you as if you wouldn't know who he was talking about. "that i've been sent to fucking babysit."

"simon, i-"

"no, no, no, no," he cut you off. "listen here gorgeous, you don't get to call me that, yeah?"

you nodded. why is he all worked up at you using his real name? you knew better than to ask him that and pushed the thought to the back of your mind.

"lieutenant, or ghost. you understand?"

"yes," you replied.

"copy, or affirmative, or that yankee doodle jargon, you know. tell you what though, they're fucking good soldiers. so, now that you and i are, acquainted, what's on the menu?"

you raised your eyebrow in confusion and question.

"what's the op? or have you uh, lost track?

"no lieutenant." you began to fill him in on the mission, basically replaying everything price had said to you.

he didn't reply, which seems like something he likes to do. leave you in utter and awkward silence while you think of how to not anger this towering man.

"so, where are you from? you have an accent." you made a pitiful attempt at restarting the conversation as ghost tapped on the side of his gun, still surveying the outside.

"you always ask your superiors personal questions like that all the time, do ya? you must be a real fucking heat at the barracks."

price really did not prepare you for ghost's insults.

"they fucking love me at the barracks." the corner of your mouth downturned. you couldn't see the expression he had, which has been bothering you this whole time. he barely shows emotions in his eyes, and you can't even see the rest of his face.

"i'm from manchester, i've just uh, spent too much time with that southern softie, price. but uh, your small talk is wearing thin my even smaller patience. so why don't you do us a little por favor, shut the fuck up."

you almost burst out laughing when he said that, but quickly turned away so he wouldn't see. didn't need him to have something else to reprimand you for.

"alright rookie, you have a look around?"

"no, sir." you didn't even think about it.

"no. of course you fucking haven't. i guess you fucking youngsters think that due diligence is a hollywood actor. do you fucking do your job at all, twat?" he scoffed.

"fear fucking not, as abrasive i might be, i'm at least, organized." he pulled out something that looked like a piece of metal that reflected the sunlight. "do you know what this is, rookie?"

"what? is this a fucking trick question?" it was such a random object, and you don't remember seeing something with that specific shape before.

"it's not a trick question, the fuck do you think it is?"

"a mirror?" you got ready for him to make fun of you or groan that you were such a rookie, but instead he nodded.

"that's right. 10 points for hufflepuff. it's a mirror. i use it for my makeup, so i look pretty in the morning."

"well, i bet you do a good ass job every morning, lieutenant. under the mask, i bet? you should show me." you weren't gonna lie, you have been thinking about what's under the mask ever since you first saw him, and this was the perfect moment to ask.

he angled his head towards you and let out a breath of air that you were going to consider a laugh.

"negative. the mask doesn't come off."

"are you ugly, sir?"

"on the contrary. it's not because i'm ugly. quite the opposite, actually. i don't wanna dazzle the enemy by my beauty." he gestured towards his face.

"anyways, this mirror has a different purpose, yeah?. i place the mirror, ever so delicately, on the shelf, just there." he did as he said, and you locked eyes with him. "i angled this specific one, at 46 degrees. do you know why?"

"no, i don't." what type of questions was he asking you? you let out a sigh. price gave you two challenges. the diamond dealer, and then ghost.

"it's my lucky number- no. because, while you were, daydreaming, like a lovestruck teen, i was out there hopping from different key points, putting up mirrors. no, i'm vain. i like to check myself out before i go to fight. what the fuck do you think?" he then told you to hold your gun up and aim your scope at the mirror, telling you to adjust it.

he proceeded to teach you about how you could use these mirrors to create an effect like a camera obscurer, and how it gave you a bird's eye view of the field.

"just a trick of the light. reflections." he explained to you, knowing the look of amazement in your eyes. "not magic."

you frowned. "well, thanks for ruining that for me."

the sun was quickly setting, and you didn't know how long it would take for you to make contact with the target. you've actually become comfortable with ghost, although he was constantly cursing you for being new. but you believed price when it came to the fact that it's because he's being sarcastic, not because he truly hates you.

"now , what's your name? don't want to have to call you rookie all the time."

"you don't know? i would've guessed price would've told you."

"of course i know," he growled. "i'm being polite. you can't walk up to someone already knowing their name, can you?"

"same could be said for you," you narrowed your eyes. didn't he just say small talk pisses him off?

"well, i'm called ghost. but i ain't that fucking spooky, mate." he chuckled.

you were about to introduce yourself, the way you would as if you had met him in a bar, but something shot past your face, causing your ears to ring.

"holy fuck, what was that?" you looked to see a hole in the wall to the side of you, a bullet lodged in it.

"well, that's obviously a fucking bullet. and neither of us shot anything, so it's an enemy sniper."

you rolled your eyes. "i know that, lieutenant."

"go on, have a look."

you moved over to the window, looking through the scope of your gun. you knew that he was definitely not on the floor, given the fact he was a sniper, so you focused all your attention on the rooftops and high points that he could be shooting from.

"you see anything?"

"not yet. he's hiding fucking good."

another high-pitched noise flew right by.

"well you better hurry up. they almost hit me."

you looked at him in worry, expecting to see him grazed.

"oh, i don't mind. take your time." he sarcastically urged you to continue.

after a few seconds of trying to find the source of the bullets, you heard the next bullet before you barely felt it. it made contact with you, but thankfully, it wasn't deep. you let out a cry, and ghost glanced sideways at you.

"guess i better stop playing around," he lifted his gun up, and he almost immediately found the sniper, letting out two shots, but not before the dealer could hit him in the arm.

"ah, fuck," he said. "fucker really got me. at least, our mission is completed."

"does that shit not hurt for you or something?" you questioned his lack of notice to his wound.

"of course if fucking hurts, rookie. you think i'm actually some type of ghost? can't feel pain?"

"fucking christ, you know what i mean, lieutenant." you frowned.

ghost let his gun fall to the floor, and he began examining you for where you got shot.

"it's bleeding quite a bit. but while you've got, a concerning gash, i would appreciate your help in dealing with mine first. then i, pinkie promise, i will help you, rookie."

"what should i do?" you also stranded your gun, walking over to ghost.

"i just need you to hold the torch. it's too dark for me to see shit out here. now listen, don't get any ideas but i've got to take a few layers off, so, no fucking peeking."

you spun around quickly, but there was an urge inside you to turn around and see what was going on. you heard the rustling of clothes and gear and the light sound of them falling to the floor. you got too curious, and couldn't help yourself.

you angled your head a little bit to at least see what was happening in your peripheral vision, but you got caught.

"do you want a fucking second bullet hole?"

"no thanks," you went back to staring at the wall in front of you, wondering how you got to this point. being shot on your first mission with ghost has got to be something no one has ever done.

"all right, fuck," he breathed out.

you decided that that was your que to turn back around, and you gaped at the big hole in his arm, and not over his built body or

"jesus christ, ghost. you're telling me that shit doesn't hurt?"

"no. this hurts quite a lot, but i'm just not crying like a baby about it." he held his arm in front of him, examining the wound.

he then proceeded to pick up some things from his pile of clothes and gear, holding up a flashlight for you to take.

"here. hold this torch." you took it and turned it on, resisting another impulsive urge to shine the light in ghost's eyes just to see what color they were.

he got a pair of tweezers and began attempting to get the bullet out, with him groaning and making other noises that you would've felt uncomfortable hearing if it wasn't for the fact that it was ghost with a whole piece of metal in his arm.

"shit, can you hold the fucking torch still?" you fixed your grip on the flashlight but couldn't help your shaky hands.

after a while, he finally drops the tweezers and instead switches it for a pocket knife.

"you're not much help," he flips the knife open and uses it only for a little bit, hissing through his teeth.

you can see the bullet, and ghost goes back to the tweezers. he continues the rotation between the two for minutes, and you're starting to think he won't be able to get it out himself here.

"if it don't come out, it don't come out. but i would prefer if i didn't have to macerate my whole fucking arm in the process," he sighed.

a few moments with only his heavy breathing filled the room, before he finally had the bullet in his tweezers.

"fucking finally," it took him a bit for him to calm down his breathing, and after a bit it was almost like he was good as new.

during this whole ordeal, your whole body has been throbbing. given the fact that this was your first time getting shot, though, you're going to consider yourself lucky that a bullet didn't lodge itself into you.

ghost suddenly had tissues in his hand, from who knows where, and began cleaning up around his wound.

"sorry if this isn't the most. . . hygienic field surgery. but soldiers, can't be choosers, can they?" he grabbed a roll of bandages and began wrapping it around his arm tightly. he still was letting out little sounds, trying to get used to the hole in his arm. he began lifting it up and down, and flexing it, and you watched as his veins became more prominent.

"maybe if i just fucking saw him before he shot you, this wouldn't have happened." you didn't know why it took so long for you to even find him, with how quick ghost spotted him and took him down.

"it's not your fault, it's mine. i was acting like a knob. trying to show off, impress you. but, if you fucking tell anyone that i got shot, acting like a twat, you'll be the ghost." you watched as he wiped the blood from his arm, and you shut off the flashlight.

"you didn't have to do anything during this mission to impress me, lieutenant." you shook your head, smiling. "i've heard enough about you to think you're one of the coolest motherfuckers i've met."

he stared at you, and once again, you couldn't tell what was going on with him. was he smirking? was he unamused by your compliment?

"enough kissing up to me, gorgeous," he pointed at your laceration. "a promise is a promise."

you followed his command to hold out your arm.

"look, we're twinsies." he held up his injured arm. "it's cute, right?"

"we're basically best friends now," you responded with a wink.

"what are you fucking on," he sighed. you still had that shit eating grin on your face.

he took the flashlight from you, and held it up, along with his pocket knife.

"it's a clean cut. you're very lucky, mate. but don't get too cocky. there's a bit of debris in there." to your relief, instead of using the knife, he decided to use the tweezers.

you tried ignoring the discomfort of him quite literally digging in your arm.

"price is going to fucking love this," he muttered under his breath.

you being flinching every time the cold tool made contact with you, and ghost was fed up about it.

"hold still. you're fidgeting." you used your other arm to hold the one he was working on still.

finally, after what felt like hours of you sweating, trying to be still, he finally pulled away and wiped the tweezers off, then began to wipe you off.

"they're never gonna leave me alone about this. they're always gonna remind me of that time i got shot with a rookie on a simple mission."

"a new experience, huh?" you bandaged up your arm yourself and the two of you got ready to leave, gearing back up and putting everything away.

"alright, you did, okay. not fucking amazing. you're not gonna win any medals or rewards or prizes. but you did alright, rookie. i'm proud of you."

you flushed at the praise, sheepishly putting your hand behind your neck.

"here. there's one thing you can do from now on, if you want. if you want, you can call me, simon."

"really?" you exclaimed. you're probably one of the only rookies he's allowed call him anything but lieutenant or ghost. you mentally high-fived yourself.

"don't get to excited. c'mon, let's go see the captain before he thinks that we have. . . eloped." he turned his back to you and began making his exit. you were slow to hear what he said, and he stopped, looking back at you.

"fucking c'mon then. jesus christ." he said as you ran after him.

you hoped that you would be able to work with simon a lot more after this.

☆☆.

part 2? when i feel romantical

[matan4il]

About your last post, literally took my breath away…

The moment I heard the surname Sham tov… I… know Omer, well, not really. We were in the same grade.

I don’t remember much, but what I do remember left a good impression on me. Bits and pieces…

He is a bright and smart kid, very caring and sport loving. Funny as well. He is popular and everyone loves him in the grade.

(I refuse to talk about those memories in past tense, he is still those things. And he will return)

When I heard the news about him and Maya (who I also was in the same grade) I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’m glad Maya returned, and I’m still waiting for more updates about Omer. There isn’t a day that I’m not thinking about him.

Bring Omer sham tov back home, bring them all back. 🎗️🎗️

I would like you to listen to “ילד שמש שלי” it’s a beautiful song written about Omer.

Oh, Nonnie! Thank you for telling me this in reaction to this post.

*hugs you SO MUCH* I'm so sorry. I had two colleagues in Hamas captivity, one was released, and one we're praying is still alive. At the end of November he was, but... it's been a while, and he has a heart condition, but likely isn't getting his meds. :/ So I get you completely. I wish I could snap my fingers and bring them all back, for them, for their families, and for all of us who aren't truly free without them.

Here's the vid of the song you mentioned, thank you for bringing it up, so everyone can listen to it. The song's by Orian Shukrun, it's called "Yeled Shemesh Sheli" which means "my sun child," and the YT vid's dedication says: "Sheli, Malki, Dana and Amit, thank you for opening to us your heart and your home. Beloved and dear Omer, sun child, we are all waiting for you back home."

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[aliceisathome]

Time for My Stand In - I'm ready with things nearby to grab depending on how traumatised/angry/sad I am. Currently we have a G&T, some chocolate, a punchable stuffie and some ice cream within reach. There's tequila in the kitchen if none of these work.

So here we are, new house and helper for mum to be paid for by spending a year doing whatever Ming demands, which is immediately sex of course. But Joe doesn't realise that Ming's concentrating on his back not because he's trying to replace Tong now, but because he's trying to replace Joe. Joe's a stand in for himself the poor sod.

It's interesting that Ming can't bring himself to have sex with New Joe though. It's guilt, yes, but also because he never really had sex with Old Joe - in his mind he was always having sex with Tong . In trying to get New Joe to stand in gor Old Joe, sex isn't going to work - what he misses and loved is , well, JOE. it's the companionship, the cooking together, sleeping together and just being together. It's the lights on when you get home and the smell of cooking. Does the spoilt, manipulated prince realise that yet? He might be getting a clue this episode though.

Also my brain hurts

I like Ming's green bedding. In fact I like all the green teal in his condo - the man's got good taste in furnishings if nothing else. Did he get them to redecorate his hotel room to match? Wouldn't surprise me - he's the sort of person who'd put that in his rider. I must go and see what @respectthepetty says about the colours in this.

So - Ming isn't going to realise that New Joe is Old Joe because he thinks OG Joe is still alive but he's suspicous. It could be that Ming won't let go of the fantasy that old Joe will come back to him until they find the body* Wut might guess soon though. And Sol, if Ming hasn't ripped his head off after he sees the music vid.**

OH they pretended that Tong did his own stunts for that first movie in all the press. OK, I get why Ming didn't put two and two together now.

Enter the bastard Tong. Man, he's a piece of work - jealous of Ming paying attention to another man (AGAIN) plus now he wants money from him as well. Don't do it Ming! Loved that he was too distracted by Tharn & Joe to listen properly. Still, I think he's beginning to see through Tong - especially when he won't acknowledge his culpability in Old Joe's death/disappearance. Loved his slightly weary dismissal of him as well.

Tharn - nope. Don't like him one little bit. He can join Tong in the Pit of Despair. They are both manipulative bastards.

All the flashbacks made me sad, especially the watch. And now I'm feeling sorry for Ming even though he's been a bastard and a fool because, well, he was twisted into that by Tong.

Gah - I can't wait for next Friday. The preview implies that the psychic might let Ming know that Joe's soul is in a new body but I think it's Sol's voice at the end. I don't think Ming knows enough to stake out Old Joe's parent's graves. This is why I try to save to binge watch.

Anyhow, the stuffie took some damage points whenever Tong or Tharn were on screen and the gin is gone. Could be worse, and I'm sure it will be at some point. This bloody show has me in its grip.

*I get it Ming, I hope his comatose body is being looked after and worshipped by jungle creatures and he'll get it back. Mainly because Poom's SO cute.

**for the love of the sweet baby jeebus if you're going to cast someone as a Kpop star at least get someone who can sing or use someone else's voice.

[pistachiotalenti]

saw this post by @georgenootfound and it OPENED MY THIRD EYE. also when dnf posted that disney vid snap i straight up thought dream was gonna kiss george's cheek (??!) so here's a fic that sprouted from both of those things <33 sort of fucked that dnf decided to get married before i could use that as a plot point but whatev /j /f

~

Five steps out the Disney World washroom, George hears a hissing sound.

Psssst.

It's a distant noise, one whose source he can't immediately pin down. For all he knows, it could be the flush of an especially loud toilet, or maybe one of those crazy Floridian bugs he has yet to encounter. He pulls out his phone and pays no mind to the oddity as he waits for his friends to return from the washroom. But then–

Psssst. George.

Okay, that can't be a bug.

George whips his head up, to no avail. The park is bright and bustling at night, but he recognizes none of the faces around him. Briefly, he thinks it might be a fan who's messing with him. He shivers.

Desperate, he turns around and scans the restroom entrances, only for his eye to catch on a small, flashing light in the dark space beside the restrooms. He freezes and squints into the blackness. Then the light settles on a familiar face.

"What... Dream?" George laughs.

"Come here," Dream hisses. He turns off his phone flashlight, plunging himself back into darkness.

George follows suit and steps towards him, though not without question. "Why are you whispering? And why are you in the dark?"

"So that we don't get caught."

George's footing stutters. "What?" he sputters, face immediately turning warm.

"Just come here."

George takes one last look at his surroundings before stepping into the alleyway. None of this makes sense, but at the same time, it somehow makes perfect sense now that he knows Dream is behind it all.

Now stood directly in front of Dream, George teeters on his feet and waits in nervous anticipation. "I'm here."

"Good." Dream's voice is close, inviting.

"I can barely see you," George says, almost whining. He's immediately placated by the gentle brush of Dream's hand along his hip.

"Your eyes will adapt."

George pouts. He's spent years having Dream see him and not being able to see Dream in return; now that they're together, he can't imagine going back, not even for a minute. "I can't even see colors," he jokes. "Now you want me to get night vision DLC for my eyes?"

Dream snorts. George can practically hear the smitten roll of his eyes. "Yes," Dream replies, playing stubborn.

"That's sort of messed up of you, Dream," George quips, reaching back for Dream, pulling their bodies close. "Kind of problematic, actually."

"Pro-bleh-mah-tic," Dream quietly echoes, voice low and husky.

George grins. He bets Dream can hear his smile through the dark when he asks, "So why are we standing behind the toilets? Did you call me over here just to make me listen to your horrible accent?"

"Whot ahck-cent?"

George audibly grimaces. Dream chuckles, apologetic.

"Okay, sorry. No, I– I noticed you were sort of quiet for a long time back there in the group, so I wanted to check if you were okay." Dream pauses. "Though you're sort of chatty now that it's just the two of us. Is that a coincidence?"

George titters, a mixture of touched, flustered, and amused—it's a wonder Dream can make him feel all three at once. He decides to be honest in spite of Dream's teasing, shrugging as he explains, "I'm fine for the most part. I guess I'm just tired."

"Oh. Well, we can probably find someplace to sit and rest. Maybe grab something to eat."

"No, I mean, like..." George licks his lips, and suddenly he feels very silly for what he's about to say. "I sort of miss being able to, like, touch you and stuff, and I'm just kind of tired of having to stop myself from doing that in front of everyone, or like, random fans or something."

George swallows thickly. He's no stranger to being vulnerable with Dream, but talking so openly about his feelings in a romantic context still feels horribly new to him. Communicating is better than holding it in, he reminds himself in this dreadful lull of conversation. The last thing he'd want is for Dream to worry about him just because he sucks at saying how he feels.

Luckily for him, Dream doesn't need much to understand exactly where George is coming from.

"...George." Dream brings his hands to George's face. They're so large that George almost feels like he's being cradled in a cacoon. "You want to hold my hand in public?" Dream coos, gentle yet teasing.

Relief washes over George as his cheeks turn warmer in Dream's palms. "Stop. Shut up."

"You know, that's a very solvable problem, George." Dream swipes the soft pads of his thumbs under George's eyes, a touch so soothing and tender that George's eyes just barely start to water. "God knows I'm not pulling away if you decide to whip out the PDA on me."

Dream slides his hands down George's face to his arms, and George feels so warm and full that he thinks he could power the entire park with nothing but the newfound energy coursing through his veins. It doesn't help that his eyes actually have adjusted to the dark, and he can see Dream smiling at him like he hung the moon and stars for him. "Yeah," George finally murmurs fondly, "'cause you're a simp."

"I am a simp," Dream admits, "and you fucking love it."

Dream leans down into his space, clearly holding out for a kiss. George easily grants his request and closes the gap. His hands slide to Dream's waist. He smiles into the kiss when Dream's hands twitch along his arms. This part—showing Dream just how much he cares—has always been the easy bit for George.

After a sweet and much-needed smooch, they pull away, just barely. "No PDA in public," George murmurs along Dream's lips, eliciting a small, sulky whine from Dream. "Not until after the hard launch."

Dream instantly perks up, seeming to have completely forgotten about the denied offer for public cuddles. "Wait, you'd actually want to hard launch?" he blurts. It makes George laugh, fond.

"You're an idiot." He presses one last kiss to Dream's cheek before turning to the light. "Come on, the others are waiting. They probably think we got kidnapped or something."

"Wait, how soon can we hard launch? Like, tomorrow?"

"Stop asking me about the hard launch, idiot."

"How do you expect me to not be excited about a hard launch? Everyone's gonna know that you're my boyfriend and that I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I'm gonna brag about you so hard."

"Uh-huh. As you should."

"Like, I'm gonna be so annoying about you."

"Like you aren't already," George laughs, blushing wildly. He steps into the light.

Their friend group stands not too far away. Sapnap is the first to look up from his phone and catch sight of the two of them. "Finally," he grunts with a knowing roll of his eyes.

Bad follows Sapnap's gaze. "Oh, there you two are. Where were you? Making out in the big stall?"

"No," Dream snorts.

"Not in the big stall," George adds.

Bad barks out a laugh. The girls shake their heads nearby.

Reunited as a group, they continue on with their trek through the park. The night whirs dizzyingly about them. And George holds onto it with Dream by his side, never too far, and never quite close enough.

[dearweirdme]

Responding to some of the comments from my last mole anon ask I'm not new to the group but I am new to the ship. I first started listening to the group around 2018 but watching stuff like Run and the festas a few yrs later and from that, I wouldn't have guessed taekook were dating or even one of the closest friendship. They seemed touchy yeah but i think that for the whole group tbh. It wasn't really until solo era that I started focusing more on fan stuff. I'd say before that I was more fo a casual fan who enjoyed watching the content but wasn't really desperate to see everything bts. Like I knew the basics and the memes but never really was inclined to delve any further and my knowledge of shipping was mostly critical. I did see some of the narratives in the backlash to shipping such as taekook being less close than other members and with (what I now know is edited) official content reinforcing that, it was much easier to believe that than a secret taekook love affair.

But Layover turned out to be one of my favorite albums because it was closest to my musical tastes and culture of music i grew up with and so I started hitting up twitter and specifically searching stuff up to discuss more about tae and his musical influences coz I thought he did such a great job with that album and had some real soul in it despite not being raised in that culture or country of that kind of music. And I think because of the algorithms and how popular taekook is that's when I started seeing my taekook posts pop up on my timeline and from a ship critical perspective, I brushed most of as delulu coz wlmy first exposure of ships being discussed in fandom was that it was weird and inappropriate to ship.

And the stuff that I did see out of morbid curiosity (and I admit it wasn't a lot at that time) just really validated the 'fake' accusations because it was all slow mo'd edits and taekook seemed to have 7 different anniversary dates according to the taekook stuff I read so it was seeming more like shippers were just trying to fit a circle onto a square hole or something. Plus I'd see people responding to those slo mo edits with the real time links and that made it seem even faker.

The I recently saw the mole video on twitter that brought me here and that was the first thing were I couldn't really rationalise it with a platonicary answer because one of the first things I can remember doing in a relationship is laying in bed counting and mapping each others marks and freckles.

So that to me seemed just highly romantic for a couple of bros.

Except I lost the video on twitter so I tried YouTube to find it, nothing. Searched the Internet on general, nothing and I ended up stumbling across this blog. I think I discovered while browsing after seeing a response to an ask that I thought sounded fair enough a d really kinda middle ground for a shipper. It was framed as like 'idnk for sure but here's what I think' and after looking for the link and coming across people who were more definitive in their theories and stuff, I thought somewhere like here would be the best place to ask for the info.

Because at that point, shipping didn't have any good associations to me and I wasn't really comfortable with my own speculation that the mole vid was leaving me with but I also couldn't stop second guessing my own first reaction to deny, deny, deny and make an excuse for it.

So my intentions really were to post here, get a link to the vid, watch it again and be like 'oh yeah, that's been blown out of proportion. No ships sailing here' like I had when people sent those real time links in response to ship edit videos.

(Except we all know what happened next)

While waiting for a response which came pretty quickly, I was looking up for more info on taekook in general and was coming up with mostly horse shit but I was also noticing the more reasoned stuff now that I was actively looking for it.

And in the response, DWM mentioned and tagged the taekook timeline which really topped off me taking a second look at the ship because again it was presented as kinda 'this is what I think, beware, I could be just high on delusional and this whole post could be wish fulfilment but here's what happened and what I think' and angles like that I can appreciate because I find it way more trustworthy than someone presenting a theory as fact which is what it felt like taekook lyves was doing a lot of, imo.

The timeline really sealed the deal for me, tbh, because seeing all their interactions in one place and running on concurrent really blew the hinges off the 'distance' narrative.

Which lead me to the ultimate question which I think is the fossil fuel that taekook sails on; what's with all the fucking secrecy and what's bighit hiding??

Because to me and with the timeline on front of me there was no distance on their distant relationship.

And so I've recently started a rewatch of some of their biggest hits. Like I started with bon voyage and I'm kicking myself and wondering why I didn't consider stuff like the room choosing situation in Bon Voyage Morrocoo or Malta wherever they were, more closely. I can't even explain why I just took it at face value as a joke because looking back JK made it so damn obvious.

And I started noticing the subtleties of their touching and the lack of space. I think part of me started reqatching the BV and Run episodes to be kinda proven right that there was nothing more to the ship and I was being delulu but the more I watch, the more Im starting to notice and those fossil fuel questions keep popping up in my mind.

And as a logical creature who said taekook isn't real when I couldn't see anything proving it, I can't then refuse to consider the possibility that it might be real now that I'm seeing stuff that I consider legit proof or support of a relationship.

As for theories, I don't want it to come across like I'm acting smarter or more superior than anyone else because I think everyone is working off theories even the people who don't believe in it because none of us know these guys or their lives but I don't like when theories are pushed as fact or manipulated or framed as the only possible conclusion to a question. Like could I make another theory as to why taekook ate mapping out each others moles, yeah, course I could but based on my own experience perception and no real clear arguement otherwise etc---the romantic reason is still the strongest supported to me.

So I don't have anything against theories just the way they're framed.

So yeah I guess that's my looong (sorry) story about how I accidently became a taekook shipper.

Hi again mole anon!

It’s really nice to hear your story actually. I think skepticism is definitely a good way to get into this. Also, props to Kayla @taekooktimeline for documenting so well 💜.