#when i am not whole
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I think part of the reason I find games like Disco Elysium or Slay the Princess so interesting to me is because my brain has always felt a little fractured like that. Little parts, segments different enough that it's like multiple "people" having a "conversation" but they're still part of one whole, not enough to be seperate beings. They're part of the same idea, the idea of you, but they're still seperate. So close yet so far. They are different pieces in the same puzzle. They are different words in the same sentence. They are all different people with the same face and body and voice and idea of a person. I'm rambling here because it's such a specific feeling that's so clear to me because I can feel it but it's so difficult for me to put into words!
When the Voice of the Hero talks, it's hard to say that's not you/the player in Slay the Princess. It's part of you. A fragment. An echo. But the same can be said of the Voice of the Paranoid, or the Voice of the Smitten! They're all so different, yet they're still part of whatever the hell "you" is!
To end this, I generally have become a really big fan of fiction where you can see the seperated pieces that make up a person, taken apart like a computer you're trying to fix, because for a big part of my life that's how I have felt and I am unsure if there will ever come a day when the parts are put back together into one working machine. Maybe I will have to make do with being dismantled.
#ive been wondering if i have cptsd#and i dont wanna self diagnose it#but im pretty sure this is a big cptsd thing lol#disco elysium#slay the princess#ramble#it's part of the reason#i often have a hard time making stuff like personas#even though i like to do it#its because its hard to represent myself as one whole piece#when i am not whole#top 10 things i should probably talk to a therapist about
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trick or treat!
#my art#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#maki zenin#yuta okkotsu#inumaki toge#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#u could argue that the spoilers r hidden by the costumes but idw take my chances#i havent posted art in a billion years i feel like a fraud and i am going to get a bad grade in tumblr dot com#so i am posting these early idc anymore#i still have probably one more halloween draws i plan on posting but im cracking i want these out of my drafts Now#these KILLED ME#i miss drawing fast i miss it so badddddd#dont get me wrong the costume design ws so fun i loved it but god did it take ages#but on the bright side. yuuji in a toga.#on another bright side. little devil nobara n cowgirl maki#on yet anotHER bright side. eldritch horror pandachu#these costumes eat if i do say so myself ghjsdfkgjf undead inuokko makes me so happy also they r so cute#not to mention megumi in his gay little hat god i made itfs so obnoxiously flirty in this#remember when i said the timeskip art ws the least heterosexual group photo i've ever drawn i take it back#theyre disgusting . save nobara episode 356325746732#anyway happy 10 days early halloween <3#i will try to not take a whole week to finish the last piece(s)
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also add in the tags if you want how your tolerance has changed over time!
#i wanna see on this site full of autistics if i truly am as much of a minority as i think i am#my tolerance is super ultra high and i LOOOVEEEE spicy food <3333#i believe i could eat a whole habanero with little issue#my spice tolerance used to be mid-level when i was younger but it skyrocketed since i reached adulthood#i need to eat spicy food like at least twice a week or ill die i think#poll
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last one i promise(<—lie)
#let’s as a society think more about why adrien wanted to go to school#and what. perhaps. he thought school was#i think the way chloe describes it she really is just a beautiful rich girl with too much time on her hands#and no one at school is treating her accordingly.#abby got so mad at me today because she thinks it’s too cringe that i keep taking about adrien liking ohshc#which is like. how are you gonna know me my whole life and then be disappointed when i’m cringe.#i’ve never hidden who i am. it’s cringe all the way down#anyway#ml#my art#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#chloe bourgeois#ohshc#wait i am gonna tag this thirteen actually. just go with me#thirteen
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I enjoyed every second of this quest
[This art has platonic intention. Thank you for not tag ship!]
#my art#genshin impact#genshinimpact#tighnari#genshin impact tighnari#daily tighnari#cyno#genshin impact cyno#please do not tag as ship thank you#i have too much words but nothing came out from my mouth#i. i love it so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i am way too lazy to write everythin abt it#but gOSH WHEN SOME OF MY BRAINROT/HC BECOMES CANON#NO SPOILER BUT ?!?!?! EVERYTHING ABT THIS QUEST MAKES ME SO HAPPY#sethos ?!?!!! i love him. i need more cyno sethos interaction#i am so sleepy from work oh gosh but i already had idea for sethos comic/fanarr#SETHOS I HOPE HE ENJOYS CYNO'S PUNS#oh i swear if he laughs at cyno's jokes it IS SO OVER FOR ME#and WE GOT THE WHOLE CYNO FRIENDS I-#tighnari. can i talk abt tighnari.#no i wont i am lazy.#good night to them
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SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.
#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#adventure time#goin insane over him#thers no words to describe how im feelin#i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE#FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED.#ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO???????#ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P#IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH#SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP.#also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake#which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk#ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help#ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER.#im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help#maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.
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Armand + why would you say that if you have only met this man once
#armandaniel#armandiel#devil's minion#armand iwtv#assad zaman#interview with the vampire#iwtv#myiwtvedit#no but whyyyy#why would he say Alice wanted to say yes instead of just moving on with the interview (if not louis' cruelty)#why would he explain himself to Daniel??? why would he want to protect himself from daniel#what does he mean it's in his nature?? has daniel dropped a bomb before fucking off for good? has he??#anyway I am normal about them#also why would keep the whole ''mr molloy'' thing when you are angry at him#just... why
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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can i just say it felt so fucking GOOD to have good, well-executed, fast-paced (!!) lightsaber fight choreography. the fights were exciting! each character had their own distinct style that matched their abilities and size! they were fast!!!!!! hands down the best saber fights we’ve seen in live-action sw in a long time.
#(and before y’all say ‘but Anakin v ahsoka in the ahsoka show’ no. Hayden CARRIED that fight. sorry not sorry but r*sario can’t match up)#i could go on and on and i def need to rewatch to analyze the fights a bit more#y’know. when I’m not in shock lol#i say a bit more about this in my ep5 thoughts post#and i have a whole spiel about what the other live action lightsaber fights have been lacking recently#but for now i just have to say how fucking excited i am that the fight choreography (hand to hand & sabers) has DELIVERED#the acolyte#the acolyte spoilers#star wars
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lurking in radfem spaces has really changed my entire view of most mainstream internet spaces because once you realize just how censored women's voices and feminist thought are on these sites, and how much porn and misogynistic values are defended, you can't unsee it.
how anyone can bear to participate in an online space where porn, of all things, is lauded as the bastion of "self-expression" and yet any woman slightly critical of popular cultural opinions is demonized is wild, especially when a lot of that porn is a) violent and misogynistic b) often accessible by minors c) gross and shallow d) myriad of other reasons far better writers have probably described
fuck I'm just so tired. seeking rationality online is just opening a pandora's box of garbage and seeing the reflection of how bleak the social hegemony has become.
#the worst part is that the only mainstream opposition to this kind of culture is from the right#and they're also fucking terrible most of the time so that's great#the fact that most popular leftist online “thought-leaders” don't discuss this more often is certainly something though...#imagine being too busy to make navel-gazing video essays about identity with fancy lighting and silly editing#when this kind of attitude towards a whole HALF of the population is perpetuated online#god I hate thinking about social politics#and yet here I am#I need to throw my internet router against a wall I think#radical feminism
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THEY'RE BACK!!!! my childhood manga!!!
#ranma#ranma 1/2#akane tendo#ranma saotome#rankane#aquanutart#un-follow me now this is all i'm going to talk about for months#I LOVE RANMA!!!!#i had the first 20 volumes of the manga nearly memorized as a kid and i am thrilled with how the reboot is following it#they're getting the panels so spot on it feels like seeing old friends. i am SO happy#this was the first manga i read after pokemon and what got me into drawing anime#ranma is the whole inspiration for how i used to draw i cannot TELL you how excited i am#also rankane was my first ship (before i knew what shipping was) when i was 11-12#(i first read it when i was 9 but i didn't start to ship them until later rofl)
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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Sublime Equine.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#little apple#Did I *need* to dedicate a whole comic to little apple when I'm trying to economize my scenes?#Well! I did start this whole blog with the dreams of one day being able to draw better equines. So Yes. I did need this.#The true benchmark of my art progress is actually the quality of how I draw Little Apple.#(no seriously go look back at my little apple tag. Then come back here).#Hey welcome back! I know right! What was I even doing at the start? That was *not* a donkey!!!#That aside - I really am thrilled that I can draw her more. Even if she's only *really* in two more comics for season 2.#I wish I had more thoughts here. I'm so distracted by the donkey rotating in my brain. I missed her so monch.#Oh! Yeah I really like the parallels here between WWX and Little apple.#Specifically the sense of how we get a nod to how he's changed.#Little apple and WWX have both grown a little less lean and hungry (one literally the other metaphorically)#This whole episode is basically about WWX's desire for something peaceful and domestic in his life.#and here is little apple - his first companion from the start of his new life - changed to something softer.#Very much a 'look how far we have come moment' that is rather subtle but enjoyable.
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So i had this idea for NPC SY with a braid and it got out of hand...
Sadly u guys will never know cuz i cant write lol
#luo binghe#shen yuan#svsss#svsss fanart#mxtx#npc!sy#that fan killed me#i am never drawing a fan ever again#also i has this whole idea where sy tells binghe hes gana lose the jade thing#and binghe is like well u then u keep it save for me!#and then binghe can also identefy sy when they grow up#maybe ill make a comic with that scene#but like i never realy done a comic befor#and perspectiv is scary
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I enjoyed every second of this quest This art has platonic intention, please don't tag ship
#my art#genshin impact#genshinimpact#tighnari#genshin impact tighnari#daily tighnari#cyno#genshin impact cyno#please do not tag as ship thank you#i have too much words but nothing came out from my mouth#i. i love it so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i am way too lazy to write everythin abt it#but gOSH WHEN SOME OF MY BRAINROT/HC BECOMES CANON#NO SPOILER BUT ?!?!?! EVERYTHING ABT THIS QUEST MAKES ME SO HAPPY#sethos ?!?!!! i love him. i need more cyno sethos interaction#i am so sleepy from work oh gosh but i already had idea for sethos comic/fanarr#SETHOS I HOPE HE ENJOYS CYNO'S PUNS#oh i swear if he laughs at cyno's jokes it IS SO OVER FOR ME#and WE GOT THE WHOLE CYNO FRIENDS I-#tighnari. can i talk abt tighnari.#no i wont i am lazy.#good night to them
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