#when did i become that person to ask about this stuff?

[nodutra19]

I dunno if I should even say this given I don't speak Japanese, but the change of "revolutionize the world" here really bothers me.

One of the things I like about Ikuhara is how he creates complex parallelisms, and I think the Black Rose Council is meant to parallel the Student Council, which is why they both speak of revolutionizing the world.

Another thing I like is his "boiling frog" approach. He lures you in with something seemingly nice, and then slowly but surely introduces odder and odder elements, occasionally jarring you until eventually you land yourself somewhere really bizarre. The Black Rose Saga does that very well and marks a shift in tone.

I get the impetus behind the change, but I've always interpreted the use of "revolutionize the world" as ambiguous, and in this case it's really meant to make you question what their revolution even brings. If this underhanded stranger can speak of the same thing as the "heroes," then what is it those heroes actually speak of? This disconcerting man also has a Rose Bride and seeks to usurp the powers that be...

But to what end? If his desire is the same, what does that say of the Student Council, and especially of Utena herself? They both don pink hair and off-puttingly similar Rose Brides, after all, and even similar uniforms. What do they actually want to replace these power structures with? Cuz Mikage just wants his Rose Bride to take Anthy's place and to unlock eternity for himself.

My only translation experience has been through a few songs, but changing a specific phrase like that doesn't seem right to me.

Not only that, but Mikage, and, for the viewer on a rewatch, the Student Council, give cult vibes. Mikage reduces people to their most basic and awful urges and ideas in order to turn them into weapons, and when he finally has them on the precipice, he ushers himself in and says:

You have no choice but to revolutionize the world.

Which reminds me of an actual cult.

I take this from Haruki Murakami's Underground, as translated by Alfred Birnbaum and Philip Gabriel:

Around that time I went to the Aum dojo at Setagaya. They explained my situation to me and told me right then and there how to treat it. I tried the breathing exercises they taught me, and I couldn't believe how quickly I got better. For two months after that I didn't go to the dojo very much, but then I started going regularly, doing volunteer work, folding leaflets and stuff. Soon after there was a "Secret Yoga" session where you could talk directly to the Leader [Shoko Asahara], and I asked him what I should do about my poor health. "You need to become a renunciate," he told me. It was like he saw the real me at a glance. People were amazed because he'd never said that to anyone before—so I felt I had no choice but to leave school and become a renunciate. I was 22.

(Bold emphasis mine)

Ikuhara also mentions Aum sometime in 1998, I can't remember if it was an interview or DVD commentary. Given one of his later works, the parallels are very clear.

I guess to make a more normal comparison, think of how many men complain about how "women don't allow men to express their feelings" or the "male loneliness epidemic." But you also know that most of them go back to old and harmful ways. They squirm at terms like "patriarchy" and "toxic masculinity," and when you ask them what causes these things and what they desire to replace it with, you begin to understand that these men fundamentally misunderstand the issues at hand. That doesn't invalidate their complaints, but you can't let that justifiable complaint blind you from what they truly want: to be the ones on top.

This is gonna be a really out of pocket comparison, but even P. Diddy complained about how white dominated companies are. But what did he actually do? Hearing him say that made my own skin crawl as a person of color, even though I agree with it. I just don't let that agreement blind myself from what people like him actually do and offer to the world. I've had that example on mind because of the recent F.D Signifier video on Diddy.

I think that's what the Black Rose Saga introduces to the series, and why I think changing this line doesn't make sense. I personally think it's meant to be flaccid coming from him, it's meant to be jarring just judging by Ikuhara's style (although I've only gone through RGU and MPD). If there absolutely must be a change, maybe "You have no choice but to overthrow the world around you" would work as a neater and more direct parallelism, although given "revolutionize the world" doesn't seem to be an idiom or some play on words in Japanese (other than "revolution" also meaning a cycle, as in the revolution of the moon around the Earth), I really don't see much reason for the change.

Of course, I don't speak Japanese nor do I know much about translation. And this is just my interpretation of Ikuhara.

I know this seems like a lot, but it's really bugged me. Other than that, I like this translation and adore the various corrections/creativities like "almglocken" for "cowbell."

Fansub Release + Analysis of Utena Ep 14

This is a big one!!

My fansub release posts aren't usually like this, but this episode is so jam packed with stuff I want to talk about that I had to write my translation notes as a series of essays. It's longer than usual so strap in!

First, a word on “The Mikage Seminar”

I’ve always found the translation “the Mikage Seminar” very strange. In English, a seminar is an event — a lecture. Yet “the Mikage Seminar” is discussed as though it’s not a recurring lecture, but a society or a school of therapy, or a cult (like scientology). In fact I did a bit of reading about scientology to try and find an alternative translation, and discovered that the origins of scientology, namely a set of ideas and practices called Dianetics, bears a lot of similarities to “the Mikage Seminar”. Both involve a type of therapy where one person looks into their mind and talks to an “auditor”.

The auditor coaxes the preclear to recall as much as possible. — Wikipedia

This in particular stood out to me! Mikage often says 「深く。もっと深く」 during his interviews (”Deeper. Dig deeper.”).

The Japanese word ゼミナール doesn’t actually come from the English “seminar” but the German “Seminar” (capitalised). According to Wikipedia, in Germany, and often in Japan, Seminar/ゼミナール is used to refer to a university course that includes a thesis project. So ゼミナール refers to a course of learning, rather than a talk or lecture. And it would make a lot of sense to call a system like Dianetics a “course”. Almost like a “course” of medicine — a “course” of psychological practices that you can join but never complete.

So it would make sense to translate it as “the Mikage Course”. But “course” has more meanings in English than just this, and in the context of a university this makes it sound more like a mundane teaching course. So I tried some other words: the Mikage Sessions, the Mikage Method, Mikage Psychotherapy, Mikage Therapy, the Mikage Movement. None seemed quite right. Until I remembered this post. ゼミナール is a foreign word in Japanese, why not find a foreign word for the translation? And so I settled on this:

The Mikage Seminarium, AKA The Society of the Black Rose…

Seminarium is Latin, and is where both the German and English derive seminar from. Its original meaning is “seed plot”, but it’s also just the Polish word for seminar. I really like how the Latin makes its meaning ambiguous — it kind of sounds like a location, kind of sounds like a society, and kind of sounds like a learning course. Because it is all of these things.

Anthy: では、香苗さん。失礼します。 Kanae: ね、あたしの事、お姉さんって呼んでいいのよ。もうすぐわたしはあなたの本当のお姉さんになるんだから。

A more literal translation:

Anthy: Thank you for having us, Kanae-san. Kanae: Please… you can just call me “sister”. I’m going to be your real sister soon enough anyway.

The translation I ended up going with:

Anthy: Thank you for having us, Miss Ohtori. Kanae: Please... you can just call me Kanae. We're going to be family soon. There's no need for the formalities.

Japanese honorifics strike again!

In English, sisters-in-law don’t ask to be called “sister”. That would be super weird in most scenarios, and this scene is trying to evoke a particular familiar feeling of closing a distance gap in a relationship. The audience is meant to relate. Changing how Anthy addresses Kanae was pivotal to this scene working properly.

わかりました。あなたは世界を革命するしかないでしょ。

I understand. Your only choice is to force the world to change around you.

This line is translated as “Your only choice is to revolutionise the world” by basically every other translation. The reason is clear — the Japanese is the same as when Utena pulls the sword out of Anthy, or when any of the other characters talk about “revolutionising the world”. However, in this context, I don’t like it. The nuance of the English phrase is quite different to the Japanese phrase. In English, it’s often used to describe new commercial products: “This new device will revolutionise the world!” It comes with an implied “for the better”, but has used to describe technological developments so unexciting that it can also feel hollow. When the student council talk of revolutionising the world, they sound like revolutionaries — the context makes it work. But in this context, it comes out of nowhere and doesn’t have any of that fervour, which makes it sound hollow and flaccid when it should sound sinister and manipulative.

I think a pervading throughline for all the Black Rose duelists is that they see their problems as caused by other people, with themselves being blameless. Rather than change how they approach their situation, Mikage tells them they’re in the right.

Your behaviour will set you down a path. If that path leads to your goals, well done! However, if your path does not lead to your goals, there’s only two ways you can achieve them.

The first is to change your behaviour so that it does align with your goals. The second, impossible way, is for the rest of the world to change such that your current path DOES end up leading to your goals. This second way is not possible in the real world. But it is possible in Utena.

Also I’ll just leave this here: “around you” → “revolve” → “revolution” 👀

Kanae tried to build a relationship with Anthy in a passive, non-confrontational, extremely Japanese way — the way she has been taught to behave, the “proper” way, a mechanical following of the social scripts. We don’t see a lot of their relationship, but the way she behaved and spoke of behaving towards Anthy is very very similar to the way my Japanese grandmother has behaved towards my and my brother’s partners.

It was unthinkable to her to change this pattern of behaviour. Her only choice was to change Anthy, change the rest of the world, so that her behaviour would lead to the outcomes she wants. You could describe this forceful bending of reality to be “revolutionising the world”.

この黒薔薇のある限り、私はこれから嘘の私を演じなくて住む。

As long as I have this Black Rose, I'm free from the lie I was living before.

Besides gender, growing up, and resisting change (which exist as separate themes but also all intertwine as one), another major theme present in Utena is the self and subjective reality. The self is explored within those first major three themes, but also in terms of how the self dictates reality with the Black Rose duellists.

Black Rose Kanae says that her past self was a lie.

It reminds me of all the times when I’ve been going through a personal trial and I’ve looked back on my past self and thought “How naive I was. I understand things better now.” And then after a while I realise I was wrong, and my first self was more right. And then later still, maybe I re-realise that the second self was more right! And so on! The reality of truth (or to use Kanae’s language, “lies”) is so subjective.

Who dictates knowledge production? Who decides what is true; what is valid knowledge? This is a question of sociology - and at the moment that answer is "science does, kinda". But science and academic systems are supported by capitalist structures and tainted by capitalistic incentives — needing to be published in a journal, issues of replicability, the barrier to entry into academia in the first place, etc, etc. In the future we may find our current way of organising knowledge to be archaic and primitive in the same way we look back at medieval scholars.

But what about organising self-knowledge? Knowledge where the only one who can really decide what is true is yourself. And the only one that can decide what yourself even IS is yourself. I feel like I have looked back on my old ways of conceptualising myself many times (not even counting the gender-based revelations) and thought it primitive and archaic, and NOW I truly understand who I am and how to think of myself and how my thoughts interact with my other thoughts. But I have no doubt that I’ll look back on this current self of mine and reject their way of thinking too.

After their heart is replaced by the Black Rose, the duellists themselves frame this change as a moment of self realisation, of clarity. Once the rose is inside them, they wake up from themselves, like I have countless times. Kanae says herself, “This is the true me.” Honestly, I don’t doubt it. I think that version of Kanae was her true self at that moment, given the things influencing her. Being brainwashed doesn’t make you less of a person, or less yourself. It just makes you organise your reality differently.

心を凍結させて作っただけの間に合わせのデュエリストでは、彼女は破れないな。

We won't be able to defeat her by simply freezing someone's heart and forcing them to duel.

Anya and I discussed this in depth. I originally translated 心 as “mind”, because that was the first thing that popped into my head and I thought that was the simple part of the translation. However, Anya pointed out that it didn’t make sense with the themes of self and subjective reality, and I strongly agreed, so I changed it to “heart” instead.

Anya suggested “conscious mind” instead of “heart” but I think heart is more accurate. 心 (kokoro) can mean heart or mind in Japanese (I find it interesting that those two things are portrayed as opposites in English), and that kanji is found in the word for biological heart, 心臓 (shinzou). When they say of the Black Rose "This is your new heart" they use 心臓. They also say "Your new 命 (life/lifeforce)" which I translated as soul since it sounded more hardcore and because "your new life" is a set phrase in English meaning a new chapter in your life rather than your life force. I think the idea is that they're freezing the duellists' ability to love and feel empathy, which in my opinion is necessary for them to commit to the unbelievably selfish act of revolutionising/reconstructing/bending the entire structure of the world for their own convenience.

A very special thanks to @dontbe-lasanya for being there to talk through all these themes and ideas. I'm incredibly proud of this episode's translation and I wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

If you want to see more analysis like this, let me know! And also follow this blog to see episodes of the fansub as they're released. You can find all episodes released so far here:

Rose divider taken from this post

[moonylvs]

— ⋆˙⟡ A Lovely Christmas

Summary: Coming back to your small hometown for Christmas after years in the city doesn't sound very exciting, but the warmth of the town, the smell of cookies and a woman with a delicious wooden scent make you think that maybe Christmas won't be so bad.

Dedicated to @kousanosgf I hope you like it and have a Merry Christmas, xoxo.

Pairing: Sevika x fem!reader

Words: +6k (I lost count, but this is long)

ⓘ Warnings: Mostly fluff, modern au, cliche, a bit of soft!sevika (Someone give this woman a hug), hallmark kind of movie, use of yn once, no proofread, lmk if I miss anything!

Coming back to your hometown was not the way you expected to spend Christmas, but here you were, in that little town where snowfalls were an everyday thing, that little place where everyone knew each other, you didn't know whether to love it or hate it.

In just a week that you had been in that little town you had already been greeted and hugged by half of the population, all telling you “How big you are” and how “much you have changed”, even some old ladies who even if you tried hard you couldn't remember, called you beautiful and said they remembered you as a baby.

You did not consider yourself the most sociable or friendly person, years in the city and a dozen rude people had made you become a rather closed and some would even say bitter, you had to admit that you had lost a little Christmas spirit, not that your small apartment in the big city allowed you to do much, you just put some Christmas decorations on the front door to not feel out of place with the other neighbors.

But other than that, your Christmas the last few years had been boring and lonely, your work consumed most of your time and without many close friends you had no one to spend the holidays with.

So here you were, in that small town, it was all a rushed decision, after years you finally got a well deserved vacation from your job, but the moment they gave you the news you couldn't help but ask yourself, what the fuck do I do now?

You thought about staying at home, rest and sleep as much as you needed, or maybe travel to some extravagant place, you had the savings for that, but at the same time it felt so…empty.

You spent a whole day tossing and turning in bed in your apartment, trying to think of something to do so that your vacation wouldn't become a routine of rolling around in bed and overthinking.

That's when your gaze fell on your bedside table, where there was a picture of your family, when you were just a little girl, you were covered in so many clothes that you were sure you could barely walk, but your smile was pure, full of happiness.

So you thought, why not go back to that place, where there were so many memories, you knew it probably wouldn't be the same, your parents were no longer there to cheer you up in those cold days, you didn't even know if your old friends were still living in that small town or if they had left for the city like you, but at this point you didn't have many options and what better than spending Christmas in a small town where Christmas is such a beloved tradition.

You didn't know at what point you thought it was a good idea to buy so many Christmas decorations and stuff, but here you were, carrying at least a dozen boxes and bags, each one with ornaments, old-fashioned decorations, garlands and you even remembered to buy a ridiculous Christmas sweater.

You could barely stand, maybe everything would be easier if you had brought your car with you, but in that small town everyone was in the habit of walking and your house was not too far from the center of town.

While you were trying to get to your house you couldn't avoid bumping into some people, you didn't remember that there were so many people in the town, but now you were sure that the population had at least doubled.

You were starting to feel tired, you had to admit that it wasn't your best idea to buy all those things knowing that you had to carry them back home.

At this point you felt your legs ache, you were freezing and desperately needed to eat something, for a moment you stood in the middle of the sidewalk, rethinking your life decisions, you were sure that your hands had the marks of the handles of the bags and half of your vision was obstructed by the boxes you were holding.

When one of the bags slipped from your hand it was the final straw, you knew that to pick it up you would have to bend down and first of all your legs hurt, but more importantly, the rest of the stuff would fall out, your eyes closed in frustration, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

Fuck, fuck Christmas, fuck the Christmas spirit and fuck you and your compulsive shopping.

“Need some help, sweetheart?” a voice snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to open your eyes, though the boxes still obstructed your vision.

“Yeah, thanks” You said quietly, not caring who it was that had spoken to you, you only felt the frustration disappear a little when that person held the boxes that obstructed your vision with ease and handed you the small bag you had dropped, at least you didn't feel like you were carrying weights anymore.

“I didn't remember you liked those ridiculous sweaters” Your gaze lifted suddenly, now recognizing that voice, but above all that scent, of fresh wood.

“Sevika” The name came naturally out of your mouth, without thinking.

The woman smiled slightly as she listened to you, taking some of the bags you were holding as she saw that you still seemed to be having trouble with the weight of them.

“I didn't know you were back in town, I thought you were already a city girl” Sevika said with that typical sarcasm you still remembered, you couldn't help but scoff slightly, you had lost count of how many people in town had said that to you.

“I just came to spend the holidays here, but I forgot how much you walk in this town” You said with some frustration, it was true that the big city was full of cabs and means of transportation that made your life easier, while here, most if not all, walked.

There were only a few people who owned a car, among them, sevika.

“Do you want me to give you a ride home? I see walking is no longer your thing” Sevika said with amusement, although her offer was sincere. You could still remember the years when both were young and would walk all over town, buying Christmas cookies and running errands for your parents.

“Yeah, I could really use a ride, I'm freezing” You admitted with amusement, letting sevika guide you to her car across the street.

You had to admit you weren't surprised at the ease with which sevika carried your stuff, she was always taller and stronger than the rest, you had to blame her parents' job ( probably hers now) for this.

Sevika placed the boxes and bags on the back seats of the truck, before opening the door for you with a smirk, to which you rolled your eyes.

That truck was the same one you remembered seeing as a child, the one that Sevika's father drove around the small town, bringing Christmas trees and firewood to all the residents, you had to say that although it was old it was in very good condition.

“Your family still sells firewood and Christmas trees?” You asked calmly the moment Sevika started the car, she didn't even bother to ask if you were still living in the same place, she knew you were.

“Yeah, my father passed the business down to me a few years ago, he said he was too old to keep working, but I think he really just wanted me to have a job and stop going from bar to bar” Sevika explained with a smile, you didn't doubt it would have been like that, when they were young Sevika was always the topic of conversation in town, some older men even said she would be a problem, but here you were now, almost 15 years later and Sevika seemed to be anything but a problem.

It didn't take long to get to your house, in fact, now you felt a little embarrassed because your house was too close and you could have easily walked there, but you were thankful that at least sevika didn't mention anything about it.

When you arrived home Sevika was quick to come down and open the door for you before starting to unload the boxes and bags from the back seats, while you hurried to open the front door, wanting to take shelter from the winter cold.

Upon entering the house you immediately felt relieved, it was as warm as you expected and you finally stopped feeling like you were freezing.

Sevika came in behind you carrying the boxes and bags, leaving them on the dining room table, the place was just as she remembered it.

It was obvious that you had been away from the village, because most of the people were already used to the cold while you were freezing with just a little while outside.

“Would you like some hot chocolate? For helping me out” You offered with a small smile, though you didn't even wait for an answer before you started walking to the kitchen.

Sevika rolled her eyes at this, but only hummed in approval, it wouldn't hurt to have a cup of hot chocolate, plus she wasn't planning on refusing to spend a little time with you.

You prepared the drink quickly, the smell bringing back memories of your childhood and Christmases in that place.

“Here” you murmured, handing a cup to sevika, it took you by surprise that sevika laughed, but you soon realized that the cup you had given her was yours, how did you know this? Because of the ridiculous drawing on the mug, which was a picture of the grinch.

“You never change from what I see” Sevika said mockingly, to which you rolled your eyes and snatched the cup from her hands, handing her the one that had no ridiculous drawing and was of a flat color.

Sevika tried to hold back her smile, despite the years you were still somewhat childish and stubborn, but something about it gave her comfort, despite the years, you hadn't changed.

“What made you come back after so many years?” sevika asked calmly after a few minutes in a comfortable silence.

You hesitated for a moment, taking a sip of your hot chocolate while you thought, even you didn't quite know the reason, you didn't want to say it was an impulsive decision, but at the same time it was as if something drew you back to that place.

“I don't know, I guess I needed a break from the city” you murmured, although the truth is that you didn't just need a break, you were looking for that comfort of the town, the one you had in your childhood, but you didn't even know if you would still find that comfort in the town after years.

Sevika just hummed in approval, she knew you weren't saying everything, but she wasn't going to push you to say more, you had always preferred to keep some things to yourself and Sevika knew that.

“Well, anyway…I'm glad you're back.” Sevika said with a gentle smile, taking a last sip from her mug before setting it down in the sink.

You couldn't explain why but something stirred in you, an electrifying current ran through your body at her words, you stood still for a moment, before snapping back to reality as you saw sevika take her coat and walk towards the door, running away after dropping a bomb, all in all things hadn't changed.

Without thinking your body instinctively moved after sevika, catching up with her at the door.

“Hope to see you around, call me if you need anything, love” Sevika said casually, opening the door and walking towards her truck, as always without looking back, but this time you were thankful she didn't, because she would have seen the embarrassing red color that flooded your cheeks at that nickname she hadn't used in years.

When Sevika's truck was finally far enough away from your sight, you went back into the house, closing the door behind you and leaning against it, lowering yourself down until you were sitting on the floor.

What the fuck was wrong with you? Why did you suddenly feel like a teenage girl having her first crush on a girl? Damn it, this couldn't be happening to you.

The next few days you tried to keep your mind busy, but those simple words from sevika wouldn't leave your head and that was killing you, you wanted to believe that it didn't mean anything, you and sevika had been friends when you were young, of course she would be happy to see you after years and the nickname, oh that damn nickname, of course it didn't mean anything either, she also called you that when you were young, you didn't even know how it started, you only knew that she only called you that, you and nobody else.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't even hear the truck park in your house, not that you were going to notice it, you were trying to untangle that strip of lights, maybe you should have done it before climbing the stairs, but here you were, three meters above the ground, untangling a strip of lights and praying not to fall.

“All right up there, love?” That voice brought you out of your thoughts all of a sudden, for a moment you thought that now you were crazy, now you were hallucinating her voice?

But the sound of footsteps in the snow made you realize that in fact you were not hallucinating, without thinking your gaze went to the ground, seeing the figure of sevika, by god how good she looked from up there.

“Do you need help? I don't want you to fall on me, love” Sevika said with a smirk, her tone slightly mocking, but her gaze was fixed on you, as if she was actually expecting you to fall and hurt yourself, she even moved a little closer to the ladder.

“I'm not going to fall” You muttered with some annoyance, returning to your task of untangling the lights, trying with all your might to ignore sevika's presence, but it wasn't working, not at all.

Until this moment you hadn't taken into account that you were so far away from the ground, you looked at sevika again and this time the ground looked much farther, God, way too far, you didn't think you would die if you fell but it would definitely hurt.

“Get down from there and let me help you” Sevika said, this time her tone more gentle, seeming to notice your growing anxiety.

This time you didn't protest, leaving the lights there and starting to slowly descend the ladder, you were sure the ladder wasn't shaking so much when you climbed up, nor that the ground was so far away.

When you were halfway down the stairs you felt hands on your waist and soon your feet were on the ground again, which you were grateful for, you felt you would never finish coming down.

“Thank you” you murmured softly to sevika, lightly fixing your clothes, you were still a little anxious, you weren't even afraid of heights, you didn't understand where that momentary fear had come from.

“You're welcome, love” Sevika said kindly, her gaze sweeping over you, checking that you were okay. “Let me help you with this, yeah?” sevika asked, giving you a small smile, to which you nodded, her help would be very useful, you didn't want to climb that ladder again.

For a moment you realized that sevika had come to your house out of nowhere, which was strange.

“So what were you doing here?” you asked after a few minutes of silence, while sevika placed the Christmas lights calmly, although you felt on edge thinking that she could fall.

“I came to bring you some firewood, when I came you didn't have any, I thought you must be freezing” Sevika replied casually, brushing some snow off the roof, by god, how was he not freezing his hands off.

You frowned slightly, you hadn't even noticed that you didn't actually have any firewood, you had been living under the blankets freezing so much that you didn't think to light the fireplace.

“I'm almost done, would you mind giving me something to drink?” Sevika said after a few minutes in silence, to which you nodded immediately, walking into the house and pouring her some coffee, you prepared it as you always did, you didn't consider that maybe sevika wouldn't want it as sweet….

In a few minutes you came out with two cups of coffee, but as soon as you set foot in the snow you felt something cold hit your head, snow.

A loud laugh came from beside you, you looked up a little and there was Sevika, still on the ladder cleaning the snow from the roof, with a smile on her face, you couldn't remember ever seeing her smile like that.

You snorted falsely offended, feeling the snow on your head and seeing some flakes in the locks in front of you, you were thankful that nothing had fallen into the cups.

“Sorry, love, I didn't know you were there” Sevika said with amusement, although maybe she had seen you standing there, but she wasn't going to admit it. Sevika couldn't help but laugh as she came down the ladder and saw your hair white from the snow, her hand went to your hair, shaking it out a bit and brushing some of the snow out, even though you ended up a bit disheveled.

You just rolled your eyes, not being able to contain a giggle, careful not to burn yourself you handed the cup of coffee to sevika, instantly you noticed her frown slightly frowned when she saw the liquid in the cup.

“Don't tell me you like black coffee because I swear I'll throw you out of my house” You said in disbelief, staring at sevika, who only laughed lightly before shaking her head.

“It's just that this looks more like milk with a bit of coffee than coffee with milk” Sevika said mockingly, taking a sip of the coffee, though to her surprise, it was quite good, much less strong than what she usually drank, but not bad.

You smiled at her expression, which clearly showed that she liked it.

“I knew you'd like it” You replied with obviousness, giving her a proud smile, and sevika had to hold back with all her strength to say, 'I'd like anything that came from you'.

You both spent a few minutes in a comfortable silence, you watched the house, which now had Christmas lights and some decorations here and there, but sevika's gaze wasn't on the decorations, she didn't give a damn if santa was coming down the chimney, her gaze was fixed on you.

Despite the years for sevika you were still the same, your eyes were still huge and sparkled when you saw something you liked, you still covered your mouth when you laughed even though your smile was beautiful, your cheeks still blushed with the cold and you still had that habit of biting your lip when you were anxious.

Despite the years you were still you and sevika couldn't be happier with this, sevika thought that by going to the city and living so many years there, when you came back (if you did) you wouldn't be the same, she thought that maybe she wouldn't even be able to recognize you.

“Sev?”

Your voice brought sevika out of her thoughts, who hadn't even noticed that she had been staring at you and hadn't heard you speak.

“Yeah, sorry, what were you saying?” Sevika said, trying to sound as casual as possible, but your couldn't help but laugh slightly, even though you knew better than to tease her with this.

“I was telling you that if you were on your way to the town center…I wanted to know if maybe you could give me a ride” You explained with a small smile, trying to convince the woman.

Christmas Eve was tomorrow and you still wanted to buy some things, you didn't even know what you were going to do it for if you didn't plan for anyone to visit you but you still wanted to decorate and prepare some food, maybe you could give it to the people in the neighborhood, you remembered your parents doing it when you were little.

“Yeah sure, I was going to buy some stuff anyway, I can take you” Sevika replied calmly, finishing the coffee in her cup. “I'll take the Firewood inside and then we'll go, yeah?”

You nodded slightly, taking her empty mug and accompanying her inside while she carried the wood for the fireplace.

After leaving the empty cups in the kitchen, you went to get your purse, taking out some money, by the time you came out, Sevika was already waiting for you outside, leaning against her truck with a cigarette in her mouth.

You didn't want to admit it but she looked absolutely stunning, over the years she had grown a lot taller and her body was more muscular, probably because of her job.

You tried to shake those thoughts from your mind, but the blush had already grown across your cheeks.

“See something you like, love?” Sevika asked with a smirk, taking another drag on her cigarette.

You wanted to make a remark, to answer her, but you only felt your face turn redder, all you could do was roll your eyes and mutter a “shut up'”.

Without another word you walked towards the truck, Sevika still with a smirk opened the door of the truck for you, and then got in as well.

“Here, for the firewood” You said, extending the money to Sevika without looking at her, still feeling your face redden.

Sevika frowned, pushing your hand with the money gently.

“You don't have to pay me” Sevika replied sternly, starting the van towards town.

You rolled your eyes, extending the money towards Sevika again.

”Yes I do, just take it, will you?“” You said again, firewood was sevika's job and you weren't going to let her give you something for free.

“Love” Sevika called, catching your attention, damn it, she knew the effect that stupid nickname had on you. “I don't want you to pay me, I don't need you to pay me, so give it up, yes?”

Sevika's firm voice didn't let you contradict her, so you simply left quiet, still somewhat frustrated, but you knew there was no point in arguing, besides even if you didn't want to admit it, that nickname had convinced you a little.

The drive into town wasn't very long, the streets were flooded with people, all shopping for Christmas dinners.

Sevika quietly got out of the car, opening the door for you and helping you out, smiling slightly as your feet sank into the snow, you definitely should have chosen other shoes.

“Thank you for bringing me and for the firewood” You said softly, giving Sevika a small smile, your thanks were sincere, those small acts were huge for you.

“You're welcome love, do you want me to take you back when you're done?” Sevika asked to which you shook your head instantly, she had already done too much, you didn't want to take advantage of her kindness.

“No, no, don't bother, I'll just buy a few things and take a walk around town, thanks anyway sev” You said kindly, giving Sevika a sweet smile, to which she nodded slightly, saying goodbye and walking in the opposite direction to you.

The town was still the same as it was years ago, snow covered the streets and people were enjoying their Christmas shopping.

You spent some time going through each store, buying some ingredients for cooking, some gifts for your co-workers and just window shopping.

“Oh god, it's really you yn?” A voice behind you made its presence known, you instantly turned around, recognizing that sweet-eyed lady.

“Mrs. Smith, it's been a long time” You said in a friendly voice, walking up to greet the woman.

“I had heard you were back but I wanted to check it out myself” Said the woman with a sweet smile, which you reciprocated, it had been years since you had been in that town but there were people you never forgot.

“Ah yes, I just came to spend the vacations around here” You said kindly.

“I'm glad to see you here, I see the years did you good!” the woman remarked with a smile, squeezing your cheek affectionately, you couldn't help blushing slightly, feeling embarrassed for a moment, it was true that you had changed too much in these years.

“I saw you talking to Sevika, I'm glad to hear you're still friends” The woman said sympathetically, though there was something in her voice, nostalgia perhaps? “Sevika doesn't visit town much these days, she's always with work, so it's nice to see her around and more so happy like this.”

Your cheeks instantly turned red at the old woman's comment, you didn't even know this about sevika, you remembered that she used to be very sociable when she was little, running around town from place to place, so you had to admit you were a bit surprised.

“She doesn't visit the town much?” You repeated with curiosity and some confusion, the Sevika you remembered spent all her time in town.

“Not these days, after the death of her parents she took refuge in her home and work, I don't blame her…”

You couldn't even continue listening to the woman's words, you remained static, your mind blank.

Sevika's parents had died? How could you not have heard? You felt the air disappear from your lungs, sure, it had been a while since you had visited the village, but you still vividly remembered sevika's family, the one your parents used to visit at Christmas and who always made sure to give you presents.

“Her parents died? When?” you asked totally shocked, your face still slightly pale.

“Oh dear, didn't you know?” The woman said empathetically, bringing a hand to her chest. “It was a year ago now, the whole town suffered their loss, you know they were very loved…”

Your chest squeezed even tighter, how come you hadn't heard about it? Those people had welcomed you into their home a dozen times, they were loyal to their people and had a huge heart.

For a moment you felt your chest hurt too much, even more so because of Sevika, you didn't know and you didn't even get to say anything to her all this time, now you felt even worse, what if she thought you knew and you just didn't care?

The mere thought made your chest hurt, you couldn't leave it like this, you didn't want it to stay like this.

“I'm sorry ma'am, I have to go, it was nice to see you” You said politely, quickly saying goodbye to the woman and leaving the store.

You started walking through the streets of the town, it was starting to get dark and people were starting to go home, looking for shelter from the cold of the night.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see sevika, loading some groceries into her truck, without thinking you crossed the street, walking towards her, you didn't even know what you were supposed to say to her.

“Oh hi love, did you change your mind?” sevika asked calmly, about to take your shopping bags.

You didn't know what to say, you couldn't just say “oh I just heard your parents died, I'm sorry, I know it seems like I'm an insensitive piece of shit but I'm not!”

“Is something wrong?” Sevika asked with confusion when you wouldn't let her take the shopping bags.

“Ah? Oh, no, I just…” Shit why couldn't you stop stuttering.

“Do you want to come spend Christmas at my house?” You asked without thinking, your words coming out too fast that it took Sevika a few seconds to understand what you had said.

You immediately regretted it when you noticed that she didn't respond right away.

“You don't have to come, it was just an invitation, I was thinking of making cookies and baking something-” You quickly started to explain, your voice sounding more unsure than you would have liked, but Sevika interrupted you with a soft laugh.

“Love, relax, I would love to go, I was just taken by surprise by your invitation” Sevika said kindly as she noticed your concern over her response. “May I ask why the invitation so suddenly?”

You were quiet for a moment, hesitating how to answer, but simply sighed for a moment before speaking.

“I…I don't want you to spend Christmas alone, I'm here so I figured we could spend it together” You admitted quietly, unable to look Sevika in the eyes.

Sevika fell silent, the realization hitting her, you knew about her parents, someone had told you.

Sevika sighed lightly, bringing her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

“Who told you?” Sevika asked quietly, though she didn't sound upset, not with you.

“Mrs. Smith… I hadn't heard, I'm really sorry, I wish I had been here…been here for you” You said softly, feeling your chest tighten, you couldn't help but feel horrible, for not being there for her.

Sevika instantly shook her head, moving closer to you, bringing one of her hands to your chin, causing you to lift your head to look at her.

“You don't have to apologize, I know you didn't know” Sevika said softly, her tone more calm and understanding.

“I'm really sorry Sevika, I know they loved you so much” You said softly, this time looking Sevika in the eyes and for a moment you felt like you could see a momentary flash of vunerability, of pain.

You didn't know if it was the right thing to do, but you closed the distance between the two of you, hugging Sevika tightly, you wanted to show her that you cared, that you understood her pain.

Sevika was static for a moment, surprised by the sudden contact, she was never a fan of physical contact, but in that moment it felt so…comfortable.

In just a few seconds she hugged you back, sinking into the warmth of your body, for a moment she felt so vunerable, and for the first time she didn't mind.

Your embrace felt so perfect, so comfortable, after months she finally felt comforted.

Don't misunderstand her, the whole town had been there for her, giving her condolences and supporting her, but deep down Sevika didn't feel consoled, she didn't think anyone understood her pain, not like you.

You had been there in her childhood, you knew her parents, you knew how much they meant to Sevika, you knew and understood her, like no one else.

“Believe me I would have loved to have been here for you, I'm so sorry you had to go through this…. I know they loved you too much” You murmured softly, still not separating from sevika, you could swear she didn't want to separate either.

Sevika had no words, she couldn't say anything, at that moment she simply felt understood, your embrace alone gave her that comfort she was looking for, that she needed so much.

“My invitation for Christmas is still open, I'd really like to spend Christmas with you” You said softly, feeling Sevika separate just a little, just enough to just see your face.

“You don't have to feel pity for me, love, I don't want to be a bother in your house-” Sevika began to say, her tone slightly defensive at first, though still somewhat soft, probably because it was you.

You instantly frowned, shaking your head and interrupting her.

“Sevika, no, I'm not inviting you out of pity or anything, I'm serious when I say I want to spend Christmas with you” You said firmly, this time looking Sevika in the eyes, and she saw nothing but sincerity in you.

Still Sevika remained silent, there was something in her that was still defensive, that told her she couldn't let her guard down, that you were only inviting her out of pity.

“Let me take you home, love” Sevika murmured, finally letting go, even though she didn't want to, you instantly felt an emptiness, why did being in her arms feel so good?

The drive to your house was silent, neither of you said anything, you didn't know what to say or how to break the silence, and Sevika didn't seem to mind.

When you arrived at your house Sevika opened the door for you and brought down your groceries, making sure you got in the house.

“Thank you” You said softly, standing at the front door entrance, Sevika nodded slightly, before she could make the eagerness to turn around you spoke, '“My invitation still stands, just think about it, yeah?…There is no one else I would like to spend Christmas with” You admitted softly, giving sevika a small smile, you knew you were too direct, but at that moment you couldn't care less.

Sevika's eyes seemed to sparkle, she hesitated for a moment before she nodded slightly, you didn't know if she accepted or just simply gave in, but you didn't have the courage to ask.

At that moment you just watched Sevika leave in silence, getting into her truck without another word and disappearing down the snowy road.

Deep down and even if you didn't dare to admit it quietly, you hoped that Sevika would accept, that the next day she would show up at your door, you really wanted it.

Christmas Eve came, you spent the whole afternoon cooking all kinds of dishes, you didn't even know if Sevika would appear, but something deep inside you wanted to believe it, you desired to believe it.

The sky slowly began to darken, your house was illuminated by the Christmas lights that Sevika had hung.

After hours in the kitchen you finally finished, looking at the table in front of you with satisfaction, there was food, cookies and so on, you tried to recreate all those dishes you had eaten in your childhood.

The doorbell rang and you practically jumped in your place, you stood there for a moment, thinking you had imagined that sound.

But after a few seconds you moved quickly to the door, fixing your clothes and your hair lightly.

You couldn't help but feel anxious, your heart was pounding too hard and your head was racing too fast.

The moment you opened the door your heart stopped, Sevika was standing in front of you, looking spectacular, in her hands was a bouquet of flowers and a gift bag.

“Hi, love” Sevika's voice was soft and sweet, you couldn't even say a word, to say you were gawking was an understatement, all you could do was invite her in, moving to the side and opening the door for her.

Sevika smiled lightly, stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

“I brought you this” Sevika said softly, extending the bouquet and gift bag to you.

You blinked a couple of times before taking both, but before sevika said anything else you walked over to her, wrapping her in your arms gently.

“Thanks for coming, sev” You murmured softly, feeling your cheeks redden.

Almost instantly sevika's arms were around your body, wrapping you gently, careful not to crush the flowers or the gift.

“Thank you for inviting me, love” Sevika replied sweetly, leaving a small kiss on your forehead.

To say you were happy was an understatement, you felt like an excited little girl at Christmas, you had spent all afternoon preparing a beautiful dinner and now Sevika was there to enjoy it, you couldn't ask for more.

After a few seconds you separated from Sevika, taking the gift and the flowers with one hand while with the other you took Sevika's hand, leading her towards the dining room.

Sevika couldn't help but smile at seeing you so excited, she didn't hesitate for a second to follow you, her eyes widening in wonder at the sight of all the food on the table.

That table looked like something out of a magazine, there was all kinds of food, desserts, sevika couldn't even recognize half of the dishes there, she just knew it looked delicious.

“I spent the whole afternoon cooking, I don't know what you like so I prepared many things…” You explained with a small smile, while looking at the table full of food.

“Everything looks delicious love” Sevika replied instantly, giving you the sweetest smile you had ever seen on her.

Almost instantly your cheeks reddened, you couldn't hide the smile on your face nor your happiness, everything felt like a movie.

After sevika admired the food you invited her to sit down, it was already dinner time and you were excited for her to try every dish.

The moment sevika put a spoonful of food in her mouth her eyes practically sparkled, a low humming moan came out of her mouth, showing you that she definitely liked it.

“This is delicious, my goodness” Sevika said with a smile, shoving bite after bite into her mouth.

You couldn't hide your happiness, you made her try all the dishes and left the desserts for the end, even though sevika seemed to be completely full, she didn't refuse to try any of your dishes, telling you how good each one was over and over again.

When you both finished dinner you decided to go to the living room to watch a Christmas movie, sevika hated them, but she didn't have the heart to tell you so she just nodded and sat with you on the couch, trying not to roll her eyes at every ridiculously romantic scene.

Without even noticing it, as the movie went on you and sevika ended up snuggled up next to each other, sevika's arm that was initially on the couch behind you, was now on your shoulders, tracing patterns on your arm gently.

You didn't hesitate to snuggle up next to her, until you were leaning against her side, feeling the warmth of her body sheltering you from the cold.

That position was the most comfortable, it felt so familiar and so real, your head couldn't think of anything else but Sevika and how good it felt to be this close to her.

At one point sevika's gaze wasn't even on the movie anymore, but on your face, staring at you and noticing every expression on your face, from your smiles to the pink color that appeared on your cheeks when the main characters kissed, sevika could only think about you and didn't want to think about anything else.

While you were watching the movie you were eating the cookies you had prepared, which sevika complimented a dozen times, saying that you had a lot of talent for baking.

Sevika's gaze fell on you when you took a last bite of your cookie and after a few seconds a smile appeared on her face, noticing that you had some icing on the corner of your lips.

You couldn't help but be surprised when sevika gently took your chin without saying a word, her gaze was fixed on your lips and you swore you couldn't be redder.

Sevika's thumb carefully ran over the corner of your lips, wiping away the icing that was there, you immediately felt embarrassed, feeling stupid for believing that Sevika was looking at you with other intentions, for imagining how good her lips would feel on yours.

Sevika seemed to notice the blush on your cheeks and her mouth curved into a slight smile, without another word her hand moved from your chin to your cheek, her hand caressing lightly.

You felt like your heart was pounding out of your chest, your eyes practically glowed at the sight of Sevika and she clearly noticed it, as her eyes glowed the same way as she connected her gaze with yours.

You both stayed like that for a few seconds, your faces so close that sevika could see every detail of your face, a gleam ran through her eyes and without another word her lips met yours.

Her lips felt like heaven on yours, they were firm yet so gentle, loving was the only word that came to your mind.

You instantly kissed her back, bringing your hand to her neck and pulling her closer.

Sevika felt like she could melt under your touch, your lips were the sweetest thing she had ever tasted, she could feel the sweet taste of your cookies and the strawberry flavor of your lipstick, it was the best combination she had ever tasted, the softness and sweetness with which you kissed her made her feel butterflies as if she was a teenager.

She didn't know how long you spent kissing until you had to pull away for air, sevika reluctantly pulled away, her hand still on your cheek, holding you gently.

The moment sevika saw your face a smile spread across her face, you looked absolutely beautiful, your lips slightly puffy and your cheeks flushed, your eyes shining with love, it was the best sight.

“You look absolutely gorgeous” Sevika admitted without thinking, her thumb caressing your cheek and feeling her heart melt as you leaned into her touch.

Your hand went to sevika's on your cheek, holding it sweetly as your eyes closed for a second, enjoying the warmth of her touch.

When your eyes opened your gaze was fixed on sevika, roaming over every detail of her face, her lips, her shining eyes, every little scar on her face.

“You're staring, love” sevika murmured softly, her lips curving into a small smile.

“I know” You replied without looking away, instead you moved closer, leaving another soft kiss on her lips, which sevika responded to instantly.

“I love you” You said softly as you broke away from the kiss, sevika's hand stopped on your cheek, looking at you in disbelief for a second, those words felt a thousand times more powerful coming from you.

Sevika pressed her lips to yours again, this time in a sweet and gentle way, before pulling you into an embrace, holding you against her chest.

“I love you… More than you can imagine” Sevika murmured softly, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

At that moment you felt your heart melt, you could hear the beating of her heart and feel the warmth of her body, at that moment you knew you didn't need anything else, this was all you had wished for.

That night was beautiful, you could only call it a lovely Christmas.

a/n: All I can say is that I love this!!! I think I got a little excited and made it too long but I really love this, I know it's very cliché but that's literally the point! I hope you liked it and remember that reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, have a merry Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas, love u, xoxo.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

What is the first Christmas outside of the factory like for the toys? Do they celebrate it?

Normalcy and other weird things you never heard about

Hiiii! Decided to write something short for this one. I'll be working on all the other Christmas stuff possibly tomorrow! Thanks for the ask, Anon!

As always: 2nd person POV because Angel refers to themself as "you" instead of "me". Also not as always, but this isn't proofread!

"This is weird".

Bunzo holds the comically large Santa Claus hat, wriggling it around. You carefully grab a few extra chocolate boxes to put on your already full cart. "Why?", you ask the bunny as he almost hits his head against another person's legs. "Eyes on front, not the floor!"

"Why would anyone believe a single guy can give presents to all the kids in the world?"

"Parents tell their kids that so they can have more fun during Christmas time", you respond, stopping the cart to now realize you forgot the milk. Again. "To have some magic, I guess".

"Kids are dumb", Bunzo then tries the hat on, ignoring the price tag clashing against his head.

"You are a kid".

You chuckle at his indignant expression before being surprised by a pair of comically long yellow arms. Ollie emerges from the other corridor, milk on hand and a tired expression on his face. "You forgot that again".

"Thanks, Owl".

The long legs then stares at Bunzo and rolls his eyes. "You look like a dumb kid".

"Hey!"

"Please don't fight at the grocery store again", you sigh. "Where's Dogday?"

"Here!"

The pup appears, wheelchair adorned with Christmas decoration and a red scarf wrapped around his neck. He's holding a few items on his lap, while Delight walks next to him with a very proud expression on her face and a cart full of things. "We completed our list!", she announces. "Did you finish yours, Angel?"

"Ollie just grabbed our last items".

Bunzo climbs your back. You dont even react. "But I helped!"

"Heck yeah, you did", a well-deserved head scratch for him. Bunzo stims in satisfaction, much to Ollie's disdain. "Alright, kiddos, guess this is everything on our part. Any news on Marie's group?"

"Last time I saw her, she and Poppy were debating on which pears were looking the best...", Dogday's voice tone is enough to tell you everything you needed to know: The perfectionists are doing their thing. "... They all looked the same to me..."

Still, you chuckle a bit. "Looks like they want everything to go well for our first Christmas together, eh?"

And indeed, they were.

-

Grabbing the girls away from their perfection crisis was sure a moment, but in the end, you are all able to leave the grocery store after challenging the final boss (read: The waiting line). The van becomes full of bags, and for a moment you're a bit scared y'all wouldn't fit, but years of playing Tetris have sure done a good job to you.

Together with the kids, you head back home. Miguel and Amy, wonderful babysitters as ever, are out in the backyard with the mini toys as Catnap looks over them. Your brother smiles when he sees you, and you feel very, very happy that he and Amy didn't have to deal with the kids trying to burn the house down again.

Bobby watches from her chair as you, Marie, Delight and Kissy put the groceries away. "Is that... All for Christmas?", she asks, confused.

"Heck yeah", you nod. "Christmas is for eating a ton of stuff, Bobs. Gotta go all out now that we have 87 of you!"

"But...", she bites her bead necklace. "... All of that for one day?"

"To be fair, we normally can't eat it all in one day. We cook a ton and it can last for a few days! And then after that, it's New Year's eve, and off we go to eat a ton of stuff again".

"Woah...", her eyes are shining. "A-and the cookies?"

"You're going to be the one helping me bake them".

"Yaay!"

-

You stare at the pile of gifts you got the kids. It's... A lot, and you're not even counting the stuff people donated to them. You're lucky Miguel and your parents accepted giving up their garages to fit it all in. A surprise is still a surprise, even if the kids don't believe in Santa.

Your mom is excitedly chatting with Dogday, teaching him how to crochet a scarf. Crafty listens closely, excited. When the three of you eventually have to leave that house, the kids completely oblivious to the gift plan. "Y... Y-your mom is really nice, Angel", the unicorn mutters, staring at the ground. "Really nice..."

"Don't be weirded out, Crafty. She loves all of you, like a grandma would".

"But she's not our grandma..."

"Well, f'course not, she's my mom and YOUR grandma".

"That's not what I meant...", but she's smiling, so the joke worked. "Uh...?"

"Excuse me!"

The three of you stop when a man pops up. He's probably in his mid 30s, if not maybe late 30s. You cross your arms, noticing a notebook he's carrying around. "Yes?"

"Are you the Angel from the PlayCo. Case?"

You eye the kids, annoyed, and they eye you back, also annoyed. "Yes".

"Oh, that's wonderful to hear! You see, I'm a-"

"Reporter?"

"Oh?", he seems surprised. "Yes, yes! I have been meaning to talk to you, miss, about what you plan to do with them for this holiday season. You see..."

"Nah", you walk past him. "Not interested in exposing them more during their first normal Christmas of their lives. Goodbye".

-

Christmas eve is chaotic.

Huggy wakes you up at 5 in the morning, too agitated to go back to bed. You end up being used as a plushie by him as the others sleep, the house being too crammed with living toys for you to have the luxury of proceeding with your day. When most of them awaken, you tell them about the plan.

You have to use the van a few times, but by the end of things, you're able to bring all the kids to your parents' house. After some time, they all organize in small teams in order to "help" with the very important jobs they were given. Huggy, Kissy, PJ, Boxy and Bunzo, being the youngest of them, are tasked with taking care of the snow (read: playing outside), while most of the minis don't need to be coerced into having fun.

Poppy and you get stuck in the kitchen. Your father is helping Marie with making some of the many dishes, and Bobby, Crafty and many minis are having the time of their lives with baking cookies. Catnap sits outside, "guarding" you all. Dogday goes to check on him from time to time as he tries helping you with making some good Christmas soup.

Piggy ends up helping Marie the moment she comes back from sulking outside. She's shy, but Marie's grumpiness with only having one harm is enough for her to try to help. Not that she can do much without her hands, but Delight makes a "hook" with some textiles laying around so Piggy can at least hold a spoon by herself. The three girls and your dad talk nonstop, and you and Poppy try your best to not laugh at them.

Bubba seems grumpy for not being able to do much. Despite how well the toys heal from their wounds, Bubba is a special case. A very special one. So he watches, and ask questions, while Dogday runs from place to place trying to organize the house and the extra decorations the kids insisted on buying.

Hoppy and Kickin are having their third argument of the day as they try to make pastéis. Never have you ever ate a pastel for Christmas, but the kids loved them and you didn't want to force them to follow any traditions. Ollie is merely going from place to place, helping everyone a little bit and pretending he isn't excited about it all. Eventually, your aunts and uncles pop up, and the chaos bubble pops.

They overflow you with questions, of course, but they also dote on the kids a lot, so you accept answering some things. Nando pops up right behind you, and you jump before rolling your eyes. "Fuck off, you idiot, I'm cooking", you growl.

"Parent of 87 kids and still using the same foul language", your cousin rolls his eyes at you. "Nice to see you too, dipshit".

Poppy, who's busy cutting things for you, seems curious. "Hello, sir!", she nods at him. "I'm Poppy. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Thought you were bigger", he jokes, and you hit him with your elbow. "Hi, Poppy. Name's Nando. I'm your dad's cousin, nice to meet you. Good to know at least someone has manners..."

"Cut it off, Nando", Miguel FINALLY pops up, snow on his hair. "Leave them alone".

"Them who?"

"My kids", you reply, smiling. "You're bothering them".

"I'm not doing anything to them!"

Another elbow hit. Poppy chuckles, understanding the situation.

-

More and more questions arise for the kids. You avoid some, the kids avoid others, and some of them have answers. The 87 toys become the theme for the Christmas eve, and when night arrives, you help everyone dress up for the occasion, sweaters and silly hats for all of them, no exceptions.

Miguel's oldest kid helps you so, so much through all of this. She's pampering her new friends, of course, while her baby sister is catching everyone's attention, including Catnap, who cannot stop staring at her. She tries grabbing his ears, and, strangely, he allows it.

Your mom takes pictures of everyone. Literally everyone, no exceptions, including one of the whole family, which had to be taken outside. When you all finally sit down to eat, many of the toys try to show off how they can finally sort of use forks and knives now. Kickin and Hoppy annoy each other to the point you have to tell them to cut it off, and Amy giggles, saying they remind her of Miguel and you.

"Really?", Kickin asks, smiling. "Didn't know that guy over there was like that".

"I'm not", you reply.

"You are", your parents, Miguel AND Amy cut you off. You shake your head. Humiliated by your own family, it seems.

Gift giving is equally chaotic. First, the human part of the fam opens their gifts. Then you open the garage's doors, and the kids all seem so, so surprised. It's... Cute, almost, to see the way they all react, and how much they help each other grab and open their gift wrappings. Dogday, especially.

Of course, not all the presents are opened here. Instead, during the following day, you put everything back at your own house before going back to your parents' to grab the kiddos.

They're happy. Surprised, yes, but extremely happy, and this is what matters most to you.

... Despite all the plushies they obtained, however, they still insist on using you as one when they have to go to sleep again.

[cozymochi]

With all this Nyoka talk, are you lowkey tired? I fear with all these Nyoka asks might become annoying to you. 💔 Or when there’s too many asks about a specific thing or person.

WAAAAA?? If anything, I have the exact opposite fear. Everyone else being annoyed by seeing him so much from me.

I bring it up and allude to it sporadically, but It’s not like I’m unaware that the majority of people would much much rather have me go back to posting art about the canon cast. It certainly has more mass appeal.

Though if anyone followed my bluesky or looked at my kofi they would see all the WIPs of that exact thing. But, that’s not my main, so it probably doesn’t count, does it? (I don’t really like posting WIPs on main.)

It’s a very VERY high privilege to be able to indulge in a non-canon character at all, more specifically at the behest of other people asking for it. Like, genuinely.

I never really bought the idea from a few people calling me “big” or “popular” given I never really talk to anybody off my own posts (sans IRL friend), and the only art that ever seems to truly pop off and cycle everywhere that I can see tends to only happen when when Malleus or Leona is in it (mainly the former, regardless of the quality im disatisfied with). In a way, I still don’t fully buy it.

Those two are already popular with built in fanbases, so that’s a given.

But then Nyoka dropped and he’s popping off to nearly their levels and I haven’t gone too long without somebody asking about him or his mouth

SO THAT’S A WAKE UP CALL.. Something that made me go “huh. maybe they were right about me…” or at least… Something happened with him specifically that clicked for whatever reason. I MEAN. MY TOP POSTS SPEAK FOR ME.

LOOOOK! He’s playing with the big boys??

One oF MY FRIENDS WROTE AN “X READER” FIC UNDER MY NOSE. AND IT DID WELL ouTside of our goofy asses. ThAT’S INSANEEE

Understand this though, while I do have the autonomy to not answer asks about him— If I was really tired of it, I wouldn’t keep answering. I answer so long as I receive them.

Cuz, Idk if anyone’s noticed, but I’m not the best at bringing up my own stuff on my own accord. If I do, there was a high chance I was pushed into it by somebody else, or I might have liked the art a little more than I should have to the point I think giving it it’s own post is justified.

I’ve always had Tia as my defacto Prefect, but she’s the Prefect. A character that can be anything and anybody (and almost everyone has one). And I never really brought her up willingly too much. I don’t even bother making her cameo in scenarios where she could be there. I just use Grim as a stand in. I don’t even post or talk about 80% of her junk out of nervousness and fear.

I AM GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THE ASKS I RECEIVE AND THE ENTHUSIASM 💖 I know I’m not the best at showing it since I haven’t ascribed to the keyboard smash + crazy image in a while, but i AMMMM. I go feral.

(ALSO bear in mind, I had Nyoka for almost two years before he ever went public. 😭👍 I think we’re good.)

…Still, with all that said: The self-inflicted-but-possibly-justified pressure still exists. With every new ask I answer about Nyoka or some other non-canon guy, I feel like the others who only really followed me for the more canon specific art are certainly getting annoyed watching it unfold and are just waiting for me to get back to it.

(Again, haven’t stopped. Bluesky/Kofi.)

I mean for example, I doubt it was intentional, but I got one reminder the other day when I was asked about updating a Leona WIP after that whole gacha pull bet thing.

That shows me somebody is waiting for something not Nyoka related. Though, given the nature of the material, they’ll probably be disappointed (its not even all that big). I took it in stride the other day but upon reflection it’s starting to gnaw at me. I only really posted the WIP to break up all the Nyoka stuff so people don’t get upset. Otherwise, I would have kept it under wraps properly.

So, I can only imagine what others are not saying.

And if I’m paranoid enough (which i am), it’ll only be a matter of time before somebody hits a wall and decides that enough is enough on my behalf. Hype backlash is a real thing, and while I don’t know when it’s coming, It’s inevitable. So, if anything I should slow down.

But then I get left in a position where I’m not posting any art at all.

Granted, not posting enough art and especially ones that are more generalized gnaws at me all the time regardless.

Getting Nyoka or other non-canon character stuff is honestly the most freedom I can get. There’s a lot less stakes involved, and I just have an easier time. I do genuinely like thinking about them!!! I LikE DRAWING THEM!! Again, being prompted by OTHERS IS especially a high privilege to be able to do.

Don’t get it twisted though (no pun intended), I also enjoy the canon cast and I put them above my own junk any day. Heck most are easier to draw than the non-canon freaks, but... Idk I do more self comparison to other artists more than people think, and it mostly comes down to me believing that I can’t draw them that well nor can convey anything high-concept or even LOW concept about them in an appealing enough way.

There’s just sooo many other artists to choose from. And better stuff at that. It’s also why I don’t fully believe people if they value me above other ones. With the stuff I put out, it doesn’t make any sense as to why that would be the case.

And while I am trying to compile a bunch of work *cough kofi/bluesky cough*, I get stumped really quickly while working on them. There’s a bar of quality I want, and with each characters built-in fanbases and stans it’s very taxing trying to not potentially let anyone down.

With Nyoka and the others no such bar exists. He and the others fall into a category that most people don’t put much stake in to begin with.

I think it’s a different beast when following an artist who sticks to drawing or writing about the same canon character all the time. There’s a niche for it and a built in audience who wants that, so nobody is going to get up in arms. (Well except maybe a bad apple who gets territorial about two cakes.)

As opposed to a non-specific artist/writer who suddenly posts an OC and for the next few weeks that’s seemingly all they post about, even if it is mostly from asks. There’s nothing backing that up. They came for cakes, why tf is this chef making stir fry?!

Yeah, some people may be cool with it since it keeps being asked for and I like making it. But, sooner or later someone is going to go “when are you go back to baking cakes? Wasnt this the whole point?”

TL;DR: NO, IM NOT TIRED OF HIM. I don’t exactly lose drive for my own little batch of chaos and I’m super thankful for it 💜💜💜💜💜 But I do have a very real fear of others getting annoyed by it.

Even this ask has me raising my eyebrow a little. I can’t imagine anyone being tired talking about their own stuff.

…But I can imagine the opposite.

And I know I get this reply constantly with “Oh just post what u want it’s your blog” I can only give a look that I can’t translate into text. 💃

[sunshinemoon3341]

I JUST LISTENED TO THE ENTIRE ITHACA SAGA SO SPOILERS AHEAD

The Challenge:

We start off with a Penelope song! And I swear she eats this up!!! She only has 2 songs but she goes crazy with the vocals!!! Her voice is genuinely like lotus, I am just absolutely entranced and just cannot stop listening for even a moment!!!

Penelope saying “husbands old bow” while the suitors say “old husbands bow” is subtle but so meaningful and shows how differently they think of Odysseus!

The “Waiting” callback from the underworld!

————————————————————————-

Hold Them Down:

I’d listened to sneak peaks and snippets from like a year ago but hearing the actual version!!!! Antonious’s voice in this song is insane!

Don’t you dare hurt my baby Telemachus!!

What is their problem with his bones!!! “You’ll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through”(Little Wolf) and “Hold him down while I slowly break his pride, his trust, his faith, and his bones”(Hold Them Down)

The way they talk about Penelope gives me worse shivers than the beginning of Thunder Bringer. But it’s also very telling of what the suitors actually think of Penelope!! They don’t care about her as a person. They just want the crown, and the power.

Bye bye Antonious!!

Overall great villain song. One of, if not, the best I’ve ever heard. I feel conflicted about liking this song because the lyrics are so dark but the song itself is sooooo good!!!

————————————————————————

Odysseus:

Right off the bat, I love the name. The only names in song titles are monsters(Polyphemus, Scylla, Charybdis) so the title being “Odysseus” indicates that he has become some sort of “monster” and that’s a really cool form of symbolism to show it!(you can also hear the monsters names in the background throughout the song)

DO NOT talk about his family like that!

I like the “Where is he?”(Legendary) reverberation. It’s a nice touch!

He stole their weapons!!! This is some Athena level stuff!!

“You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!” no notes! That line is one of the most perfect lines to ever grace Spotify!

It’s interesting that the suitors asked for mercy. They know as well as Odysseus does that if he didn’t show up who knows what they would have done!! It’s more of an attempted trick than it is an actual apology.

The way the suitor suggests “open arms” and Odysseus doesn’t even let him finish!!

Odysseus shows his cleverness and why he deserves the title “Warrior of the Mind” in this song.(though he is clever in many other songs).

DONT YOU DARE TOUCH TELEMACHUS!!!!!

Again with the bones!!! “I’ll break the kids hands”. Just leave the kids poor bones alone!!!

That voice after Odysseuss says “mercy”!!

This song was brutal, perfect and I get why Athena told Ares the Odysseus “wanna gonna make everybody b|eed”

————————————————————————

I Can’t Help But Wonder:

Heartbreaking!! So cute!!

They both just want to be good enough for each other!! They missed each other soooo much!!

I’ve never cried during any movie, play, book, anything and got almost got me

ATHENA!!!!

The Queen has returned!!!

All the “Warrior of the Mind” callbacks!!

She’s sorry for what’s she did to him! She feels like she turned him into this. This is the the closest thing Athena’s ever gotten to an apology.

He forgives her(or close enough)!! He’s not gonna dwell on all the things he could have done differently, he just wants to see his wife!!

————————————————————————

Would You Fall In Love With Me Again:

Again Penelope ATE THAT UP! I still cannot get over her voice!!

She acknowledges that he’s a bit different but to her he’s still the love of her life!!!

THE WEDDING BED!! Odysseus seems hurt when she asks him to move it. She proved that he’s still the same man!!

The “Waiting” callback again

So cute, so romantic, so beautiful!

————————————————————————

Perfect ending. After everything he sacrificed he was able to get back to the people he did it all for.

10/10 no comments, no suggestions, absolutely nothing!

I’m so excited to see what everyone does next!! I hope Epic grows bigger than I could ever imagine!

I still think the play should have ended with “And that’s my Journessy”

Tysm for reading my little rant

[tangents-within-tangents]

Ugh, yes! Lol I should try to find that journal when I get back from holiday stuff, bc I'm pretty sure I wrote about that too (and this was pre self-discovery of my aspec identities lol).

I don't want to date someone who would take me away from my friends, in fact I'd like them to get along with and be friends with my friends. And vice versa, I don't want to take them away from their friends either. I think it's totally possible to prioritize while still having a healthy balance. It's completely socially acceptable, or even expected, that you will maintain your familial bonds when you are in a romantic relationship, so why not your friendships? Like if getting married to someone makes them a part of your family, why can't dating someone make them a part of your friends? (with boundaries as needed ofc)

And of course everyone has their own needs and preferences and stuff, but I think generally it's important to have a full social circle. You can't really put all your social needs onto one person. My sister had all this drama in her friend group when two of her friends got married and isolated themselves, then lashed out bc they were lonely. Friend of mine got married and still seeks me out all the time (bless!) bc it's affects her in the opposite direction, like people think she doesn't need friends or doesn't want to hang out just bc she's married now. My parents say the same thing happened to them, so I guess this has been a thing for awhile. And what about my other friend whose husband got deployed overseas a few months after their wedding? What's she supposed to do?

And like not to jump to extremes or anything, but there's a reason why abusive/toxic people isolate their SO's. But it can also happen with relationships that aren't abusive, and can similarly have a negative impact. My roommate/best friend basically disappeared when she started dating someone, and when he left her at the altar she ended up moving back home and finished the semester online. Bc she did everything and went everywhere with him and only him, so everything hurt her now. (And like... by the end of the year she was married to someone else and the only time I heard from her is when she asked me to pet sit -_-)

But anyway, to what you said about it being a turn off for relationships. It's interesting bc for me it actually ended up kinda wrapping around to the opposite. Like I have this whole thing™ where due to losing friends to relationships/marriage, as well as just time and proximity, it's become really hard to fully invest myself in friendships even though I love and cherish and crave those close bonds. I just really struggle with that impermanence, uncertainty, and lack of reciprocation (especially with cases like the above-mentioned best friend, bc I always thought she felt the same about me and that we both would strive to maintain contact even when we eventually got married and moved away). So I kinda landed on this realization of like, is that the appeal of marriage for me? Is that the solution? Do I want to get married just so I can have a friend who I (ideally) won't ever lose because they will stay with me through life changes and will be just as dedicated to me as I am to them?' (but then there's all the romance and dating hassle you have to go through to get to that, which is even harder as a demiro bc it takes awhile and real specific circumstances for me to feel that way about anyone, just for them to possibly end up not being a good match anyway, esp with added compatibility complications from being ace lol rippp the struggle is real)

I need a fellow aroace friend to complain romance about because how the hell do I explain to an alloromantic that I'm absolutely jealous because my best friend has been stolen from me by her current boyfriend without sounding like a selfish bitch

[femmefighter]

Hi, fellow Sabine fan here.

What do you think Sabine’s favorite sex toy in the collection of toys she most definitely has is?

I’m thinking prolly something with a nice color combo to it

I think I'm getting too much of a reputation for being a Sabine or Ahsoka smut writer. Is that a bad thing?

Hello fellow Sabine fan!! Let's be friends and scream about Sabine's sex toy collection together.

I feel her favourite changes as frequently as her hair does. She has some that she has certain nostalgic attachments to. Did Kanan and Hera give her a strap as an 18th birthday present as a 'welcome to adulthood' present to watch her blush, but also as a subtle hint to Ezra that Sabine prefers the women? You bet they did, and she will never get rid of it, even if it hasn't matched her own aesthetic in years.

But as far as which ones she favours? For toys she uses on partners, she's a classic strap and harness gal, but they have to match her current hair/armour colour scheme. Hence why she has a collection.

For toys she uses solo? She favours dildos/vibrators that remind her of her current crush. Are her thoughts wrapped up on that Alderaanian princess she once rescued? She's using some fancy, elegant glass dildo she imagines Leia would own. Got some weird obsession for that murder-kitten Force wielder that stabbed her in the abdomen? She's using a glowing-orange vibrator that heats up. Thinks the Togruta Jedi that hangs out with the Ghost crew from time to time is a babe but doesn't know much about Togruta biology, and so is guessing what Ahsoka has under her skirt? She's using some bulbous alien dildo that the Holonet advertised as 'Togruta dick'.

She also has her sex toy collection booby-trapped with a ink bomb, especially when she was living on the Ghost. Ain't no way she's letting Ezra or Zeb gain access to that.

Thanks for the ask!

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[briefcasejuice]

unfortunately i have the kind of autism that makes people have to explain things to me/i have to bounce my ideas around with people who know things before thoughts become anything for me

[starpros-sunshine]

You know. I'm part of the fraction "to each their own and let people handle their lives however they see best fit". But I do feel the need to say that I have seldom seen such an idiotic assumption as that breaking up with someone four days before someone's birthday when you also want that someone to do something for their birthday even though you know you and your soon-to-be-ex will both have to be there won't end with that person just not doing anything with anyone for their birthday. Partially because nobody wants that kind of awkwardness after a fresh breakup and also because the soon-to-be-ex has the lovely habit of wallowing in self pity and making everything about how they have it so bad. You know I just think in such cases you should've waited a week with the breakup. I don't care how much you want to fuck that other guy but I really think you should've waited a week.

[aromanticannibal]

The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.

Which could be nothing right

yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).

All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).

[raspberryzingaaa]

I actively try to forget celebrity knowledge. Who are they? Don't know. Oh they're dating someone? I don't care. Their sexuality? What, am I marrying them? Their interests? I simply do not see.

[tracing-lines-in-the-infinite]

Any episode of Person Of Interest can make you cry if you think hard enough about it

[disdaidal]

I don't want to brag or sound too optimistic about it, but after three weeks of training at a private college, I think my lessons with this one particular immigrant student (who has serious motivational problems lemme tell ya) are finally starting to get through and there's been improvement.

Only slight improvement so far but I have spotted some, so maybe not all hope is lost yet.

Remains to be seen I guess.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

The I feel like she sees me line being said to Eddie who is the person that truly sees Buck for all that he is. Are we supposed to take this line at face value which would indicate piss poor writing because they needed to rush to a horrible ending or do we take it as Buck being an unreliable narrator? What was the audience supposed to interpret from Buck saying that, were we truly supposed to believe him or we supposed to be pissed at Buck for saying this to the one person that truly sees Buck?

Good morning to me, I guess.

I'm assuming you haven't really seen people's reactions in the fandom on tumblr because I feel like I saw this said in quite a few posts going around, but you are absolutely not supposed to take this line at face value. I'm surprised that people think you should. 9-1-1 has from the beginning had a habit of turning friendships into romantic relationships (Bathena and Madney) and taking their time with these things rather than having an instalove situation. Even Karen and Hen, who meet when they're set up on a date together, don't instantly fall in love. I do not think they would set Eddie or Buck up for an endgame relationship with a woman by having them date that woman immediately, even if they didn't plan to make Buddie canon.

Buck is clearly struggling post-death. He's lost and once again looking for the answer from a romantic partner. He did a lot of growth in regards to his family relationships this season but not his romantic ones. Remember, his couch ended up destroyed and he asked his latest girlfriend to pick the new one out for him. Again. He's still not picking his own damn couch. After being unable to sleep on the one his mom gave him but passed out instantly on Eddie's where he ran to feel safe.

If people think this is all, somehow, an accident or the writers are doing this without knowing what they're doing, then I can't help you. Do you also think the symbolism I put into my fanfics are a total accident? Do you guys think I picked the name of the poem "Fuchsia Emerald Alizarin Rose" just because the colors are fun and they accidentally spell out F.E.A.R. or do you think maybe I did that absolutely 100% on purpose and was waiting for someone to realize?

Buck saying that to Eddie is 100% supposed to make the audience raise their eyebrows. Especially when we see Eddie's reaction. He's confused and he's hurt and he's annoyed. Eddie then spends his next few lines showing Buck (and us) that he sees Buck. Buck misses it, it goes right over his head, but the audience is shown that Buck is wrong and Eddie sees him.

I think there was a lot of internal stuff going on behind the scenes way high up the ladder that meant Buddie didn't happen this season. No, I don't mean that in a tinhatting way, I just mean that they knew Fox wouldn't renew them, they didn't know if they'd get picked up somewhere else, Fox hasn't promoted or cared about this show the way it has its other shows in a while, and I think it's pretty clear there was shuffling and changes going on with 6B. So I think things had to be put off. Similar to the pandemic, where I genuinely wonder what kind of season four we would've gotten if we'd had the full 18 episodes and hadn't had to work around Covid. I think that when we know there was a big shift going on behind the scenes, we need to have some grace and patience in how that will effect the story that's told on screen.

But I think that this default to "everything good we see on our screens is an accident and the writers are making shitty choices" is a horrible bad faith argument, and it's exhausting. Aren't you exhausted? I'm exhausted. Fandom shouldn't treat the writing and production team like their enemies any more than the writing and production team should treat the fans like their enemies in some kind of war they have to win (looking at you, GoT showrunners).

We are supposed to be annoyed that Buck is missing the point. We are supposed to see Buck's yearning to be a husband and a father, and how he's missing what's right in front of him. We are supposed to put two and two together and see that Eddie was hurt by Buck's words, that Eddie sees Buck, that Eddie is Buck's safe place, and that Eddie in that moment decided he might not have a chance with Buck and needs to move on, because previously we saw Eddie admit he wants romance again but he doesn't want to go out on dates, we saw his aunt say she met her husband through work, we saw him say 'we have time' and then we saw him immediately after Buck tells him about this new girl who "sees him" flee to visit his mother and then immediately actually try dating. On a meta level this is also because Eddie needs confidence in himself as a romantic partner and needs some more experience under his belt before he's ready to take the plunge with Buck, but in Eddie's mind, I think it's pretty clear he feels Buck will never want him back and he's trying to find the love he wants somewhere else, even if his heart is still Buck's.

So that's what I think. I think it's not explicitly spelled out for a few reasons, but frankly if one of them was a woman we wouldn't need it explicitly spelled out and personally I kinda like that it's not. Something that annoys me with M/F pairings is the constant "we all know you two like each other" talks from third parties that half the time aren't about the characters but are about the audience, to either tell the audience SEE THEY LIKE EACH OTHER THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT or to give the audience some fanservice while the characters aren't ready to get together. I don't need to be pandered to that way, thank you, so I'm a fan of the slightly more subtle approach that I, personally, see going on with Buddie.

If you or anyone else disagrees with me and feels it was just "piss poor writing" then that's entirely your right. I'd just appreciate it if people who feel that way would stop watching the show, and stop putting their complaints into the inboxes of people who clearly do enjoy the show.

TL;DR - You answered your own question, Buck is an unreliable narrator (and always has been) and we are supposed to be frustrated he said this to Eddie who has proven time and again (and does so in that very scene) that he sees Buck.

[storm-of-silver]

POINTS AT YOU

hi

tell me a fact about final light that you're really excited about so far in development. it can be anything

EHEHE HI!!!!

Development-wise, not so much sadly. I'm learning about UI and dialogue systems atm and I'm thinking of reusing an old WIP I had to test it out, learn, and practice, but otherwise not much on the FL project itself. Just a bunch of learning and tutorials. I've been chipping away at 3D models too but my laptop hates blender with a passion.

Future Development-wise, I really really want to see the story tunnels in-game. There's a few areas I can vividly imagine and I really can't wait to realize in a game (the Colony of Fireflies and Bone territories), but I want the story tunnels to answer a few questions the player might have about the world and it's past, since from the entrance to the end it's just full murals of the history of the colonies. I also just want it to look cool y'know.

The Commander's Maw is also high up on the 'I want to see this in-game' since it's a camping/shelter location- when the player finds a shelter to stay at, they'll be able to roam the shelter to craft, talk to their follower, organize inventory, etc. So, they'll be able to sit at the maw's opening and look over the entirety of the world there. The Colony of Clicker's settlement would also be a shelter but since there's protection (clicking ones) you'd be able to roam the entire settlement- I really want to push the idea that this is a thriving community that is actually living rather than just surviving.

Super super small thing-wise but I'm still somewhat excited about? I'm close to getting the full character roster filled out, and completing the goal of having almost every character gotten for free. I just got two new characters with super nice art, which I'm also happy about!! This would mean only Arrow and Frost of Heather wouldn't be entirely free- I got those two in exchange for some art I did for their original owner.

Prophet of Opossum (left) is by Buzzing_Honey_Bee on TH, and the guy on the right (no name yet sadly) is by @/ribtear!