#when all ive ever asked
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Another day foaming at the mouth thinking about richard siken's Wishbone poem
#long story short#my teenage-hood bestfriend tried to do the worst comeback ever#and forcing himself into my life#when all ive ever asked#is that he stops forcing me#shit is a whole soap opera#with side characters#i pretended to be a dutch person for a while#so he thought he had the wrong number#...it worked#even worse the guy who gave him my number#thats fucking reprochable#and then i spoke with a friend#and she said how differently this thing couldve been handled#if he just did not start his first message with#(first in 3 years of no contact)#with “i hate you i hate you i hate you”#i held so much love and compassion for him in the past#but he keps demanding for me to be someone i am not#he wants from me things i do not want to and cannot give#i will never be able to love you romantically#i am a lesbian#and he has never forgiven that#he just#kept threading over it#and now i am a monster because i dont want him in my life#but he wants me to be someone tamed and obedient to his desires#which i cannot be#no person can ever be#i hope he learns that
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could i get a fabian pretty pls… possessed would be cool but anything with him is fine
based on that one fake bad kids twt thread that i Cannot find for the life of me
#my clerical gnomance logo made by veddabredda#<- forgot to add this a while ago aaah sorry#i already had the possession wip in my files when u sent this ask#so i decided to draw another fabian ehe#idk if uve seen it anon but i did end up finishing and posting the possession piece :D#IF ANY1 FINDS THE ORIGINAL FAKE TWT THREAD PLEASE TELL ME BTW ILL RB IT#in my head he's talking to jawbone but this might be the most uncanonical thing ive ever drawn#fabian has not thought once in his life that perhaps he needs therapy. Perchance#fabian seacaster#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#my art#guys i will get to all....most....(some) art rqs eventually in uhh due time#i get distracted drawing other stuff xd#asks#reqs
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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Just saw the post about stan raising shermie in selfish shellfish and the addition of protective shermie and it made me think:
By the time the two are reunited with the other Pines shermie is likely around the age to have started school or close to. What about that thing kids do when they learn something new, be it a new fact or rule, they have to share and make sure everyone knows. I imagine that stan managed to get a motel for them at least a couple of times. You know what motels have? Public access tv -> little kid shows that teach little lessons and morals.
Little Shermie watching an episode of something on people pleasing and how that's not always a good thing. Looks at stan and the others goes "huh..." Shermie having a tantrum at these adults and stranger who looks like his big brother for how they're treating Stan. And shouting Sesame street like teaching at them. About how stan never puts himself first and always takes care of him.
I just had to share the mental image of a toddler quoting something like elmo and having a better understanding in that kid logic way
Selfish Shellfish AU - Masterpost
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Oh. That would be the CUTEST!
And what is Stan supposed to do against this? Argue back? He tries, but the toddler refuses to listen to reason.
“Nuh uh, Wrong wrong wrong! Elmo said so!”
“Look, Shermie. That’s only true for good little kids like you. I’m all grown up and you’re my responsibility so I have to think about you first, got it?”
“NO! Wrong!” Shermie throws his toast at Stan and refuses to eat unless Stan eats first.
If Stan wasn’t so frustrated with this whole development, he’d be proud of Shermies manipulation tactics.
Stan tries to ban Sesame Street after that but Shermie cries so much that he has to compromise. Shermie is only allowed to watch it together with Stan.
And so they keep watching it all cuddled up under a blanket. And maybe there is a special episode dealing with child abuse/neglect in very simple terms and Stan just starts crying. It's hitting too close to home.
The stupid muppets tell him that it’s not his fault and that he has to reach out to someone he trusts even if it's scary.
Stan hugs Shermie tightly from behind, who is too enraptured with the show to notice his quiet sob.
“Hey Sherm, did you know we have another brother?”
#Selfish Shellfish AU#gravity falls#relativity falls#stanley pines#shermie pines#ask#child abuse mention#and then Stan is the one who reavhes out first#who knew all he needed was a toddler and a muppet telling him hes wrong#i don't think ive ever watched one full episode of sesame street so if they wouldnt talk about stuff like that#now they do#when theyre on their way to meet with Ford and the rest Stan tells Shermie that ford is much smarter that him#shermie tells stan hes wrong#stan is smarter#and he will never stop telling stan that 😌
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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does anyone else regret every single thing they've ever said or done or am I just cooked
#ive always had really bad choice paralysis and when i was a little kid having a meltdown in the grocery store bc i couldnt pick a cereal#my mom would try to help in what i think was actually a rare w for my mom by asking if this decision would matter in a week a year a decade#occasionally for very very small decisions (specifically ones that could easily be reversed) this would work#but for the most part it didnt bc i could honestly answer yes to all of those#i am still kept awake at night with regrets for things i said and did when i was like 7#literally how am i supposed to do anything when im never ever ever satisfied with what ive done
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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i have to say i love cherik canonical love/hate mpreg brain baby child... it's just so funny that chatles got angry and made A NEW PERSON OUT OF HIS AND ERIK'S POWERS JUST WTF MAN
btw is there a possiblity you will draw them...
big
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#charles xavier#onslaught#snap sketches#i love how you can carbon date these asks THEYRE SO OLD IM SO SORRY#i did wanna draw onslaught when we were talking about him ... i was just .. how you say ... busy jEARLKEAJERKJ#but here ye. the goofiest doodles for the goofiest thing ive ever read in comics (so far)#if i ever do a proper drawing of onslaught itll be a miracle this all we gettin rn veJLEVJAELKVJV
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viktor prev 🤖
#i forgot 2 flip the canvas back but his mole is on the correct side i prommy .. first time ive ever kept it accurate lol#im chipping away at ths sooo slowly …#unimaginable number of drafts and im just opting 4 the most simplistic one instead#umm fav viktor moments . his im from the undercity remark & slapping jayces hand away. lets gooooooooo#or that scene of him mel and jayce at the table where hes fiddling w jinxs bomb i like tht whole exchange#when he transforms into the machine herald#when he transforms in2 the machine herald (2)#ans when he transforms into the machine herald😁 THE FACE SPLIT IS JUST SOOO FRWAKING COOL#wht else . guys can i be honest can i be brave and honest w u all. hated the sky plot . hated#the scene of him crying over her i was like scratching my neck n pulling at my collar like u guys seein this … 🧍#the story never developed sky enough to make her death impactful#she only exists in the context of viktor and how she can further his story or personify his emotions ykwim . boringg#i think the timeline is such a big issue 4 arcane writing in general bc#they try to pass off their quasifriendship as something genuine bc theyre partners or have known each other for years#supposedly but they dont show it let alone say it . like i cant tell u the amt of times i saw something after watching that was like#oh this timeskip was a year or seven years or idk and aside from the obvious timeskip we see w charas aging up in s1#or the montage once cait takes power its just not . discussed . rmbr after the arcane anomaly ambessa was like theyve been missing for 6#months or something and if you didnt hear that one throwaway comment u would just be like wht is going on#all that to say they want you to believe they have a strong foundation 2 make her death and later reunion meaningful but they dont give you#anything to actually Feel it#so . MY TWO CENTS !!!!!!!!!!!ok#sorry im blowing up the tags in ths random post that never asked for this 💔#lg doodles#arcane#viktor#well ok bc im going on and on i will say . i thought singed was pretty interesting in the show but never rly cared for him#until i played him in aram n im like oh so ths guy is awesome actually#HAHHAAH#dude and b4 they got rid of the hectech chests i pulled his arcane skin . bsooo much fun#i also played jinx for the first time and now i understand why ppl like her gameplay so much . soo smooth w it like she feels soo polished
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guys. guys i just recreated the art heist, baby painting. wtf
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#sometimes i think about how small he must have looked by the end of CL and want to cry a little bit
Aren't their frames in no more birthdays that show this? /genq
DONT REMIND ME
#ask#canary continuity#ive mentioned this before but cc!leo's motivations become a billion percent more understandable when you think about how like#he had to confront donnie's injuries head-on. he was almost solely responsible for it#splinter could only help in what amounted to field medical care#seeing him like that irreversibly changed him. especially coming out with all of that ptsd due to being responsible for it#of course he's gonna be weird and standoffish and overprotective. he never wants to see any of his family like that EVER again.#especially not donnie
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when you cycled by

here began all my dreams

the saddest thing i’ve ever seen.
#ask me anything#dead poets society#dps#neil perry#dps fandom#dead poets#dead poets fandom#todd anderson#anderperry#when you cycled by#here began all my dreams#the saddest thing ive ever seen#the smiths#back to the old house
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Morro design + a ton of notes.
#alek art#lego ninjago#ninjago#morro wu#lloyd garmadon#featured !#2024#the colors are soooo not going to stay consistent. just because i dont really work with green... ever... not the most happy with these#i need to do a ton of redraws its actually really fun... might open rqs#i know he was 15-20 when he died and its said he was a little younger than the ninja when it happened . and during s5 i see them as#18-20 so i will put him at 19 just because he gives 19 year old vibes (???)#i think i talked about the wings before. they can flap!! he does have ears !!! dont ask how it works. ninjago doesnt make sense#i say this when im the one overthinking how all their powers work and robot schematics. oops#i finished s5 .. i think we'll watch s6 tonight (queueing this on the 14th for reference) so prepare for stuff from that#art was kicking my ass and then i drew morro and all was fixed. morro my new muse ? i cant wait for day of the departed special#FUN FACT ive never seen it. and i like morro so im like itching for it dude. hes so mal core isk
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PLASEEE OPEN COMMS PLEAASEE OPEN A KOFI OR SONWTHING LET ME GIVE U MY MONEY 😭😭😭
my friend I have a kofi it's linked below but I will also be opening up commissions later today once I build up the nerves I need to do it
#ask#anon#i have the post for the commissions all ready#i am literally just building up some confidence to post it#i know it sounds silly#especially when you consider ive done commissions before#but that was usually people asking me at the right time#so i need to do it properly#if i do it once itll give me confidence to open them when ever i need the extra money#i might do the thing i used to do when i first started posting my art#and post it just before i go sleep#that way i wont have to think about it til morning
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said goodbye to him feeling weird!
#hes abt to go skiing w his friend im abt to go back to the uk to an ordinary life#he is perfect and I've felt appreciated none of the time and i think it's not his fault idk#not how racemic compounds work not how amphetamines work not how people work#french suits his mouth but german does a bit more i think . climbed to a very beautiful place#asked him to be my boyfriend then almost took it back yesterday. chemistry is not his strong suit#he carries things for me he catwalks he gives me his jumper when im cold he's good at kissing#he got me a beautiful necklace on a riverside in amsterdam he lights my cigarette with his#he holds my hand and his only complaint about me putting lipstick on his lips is that it wasn't evenly spread#his eyelashes are long and he's sharp and scarily productive and very good at navigation#always on time always the right place . i make a comment about being a beautiful collective and he says yes but it's odd that we havent#received the social benefits of it. what you mean? well when im alone or with friends people just...give me things. flowers baked goods#compliments a pack of cigarettes he says. he asks me if I've ever had to pay for a pack. i felt genuinely SO UGLY like am i. downgrading u?#ppl see me next to you and..what you get negative attractive points? gosh.#unfortunately shutting the fuck up is not my strong suit so i never let that go. he says nooo it's just you are So Gorgeous that you scare#people away. OK!!! he knows he's pretty and he uses this to his full advantage#you're cool and you're friends with all the club bouncers and you take such good care of me and you know#the state secrets and we can scheme murders together and i love that you love your friends#but when i joked we wont get to see each other in months and you said 'so?' that rly did smth very upsetting!!!!#twisting and backtracking is his strong suit but unfortunately seeing it happen is mine#and sometimes it's endearing and sometimes i want to kill him about it. he would be a very good diplomat#who the fuck stumbles gracefully on cliffs? anyway his voice is gentle and he says i don't want you upset#he holds my hands he says lets talk about it please i want you to know i appreciate you#he says all the correct things i believe 0 things out of his mouth and he can tell#i am snappy and terrible and calm. i tell him he's sweet and i want more i want to be missed#SHUTTING THE FUCK UP IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT! would you be ok being just friends? eventually.#and the next day ive decided what to do with you. what is that? you can still be my boyfriend. he says thank you.#walking is our strong suit so we go everywhere. i tell him about my best friend his head looks great thrown backwards#im afraid this is too good for me and I'm also afraid it's not enough. not asking questions is not my strong suit.
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