#whatever the fuck the guy in blue is doing

[tactical-jellyfish]

The Mistakes That Have Been Made

Part 2.5 (bonus for the people. I think you guys need some good soup, from moi <3)

Warnings!: Angst, angst, and more angst. Reader will be MAD sad for most of this. Poorly-practiced, unhealthy polyamory. Reader will experience a LOT of gender and body dysphoria over the course of this (though I will do my best to keep it gender-neutral throughout, bear with me), but there WILL be comfort over that.

The team dynamics of the 141 have always been messy, ugly things, but this is ugly. You wouldn't wish it on anyone, really.

When you'd walked back to your own room, you'd heard Soap railing the daylights out of Gaz, cussing your name beneath his breath as the other sergeant groaned, high and throaty.

As awful as this feels, at least he's not doing that to you.

Johnny's always been a bit of a... rough bed partner, you know that, he's so eager to get into the heat of it that he never gives himself the time to warm up or cool down. Tends to be so enthusiastic that he doesn't offer much aftercare before he falls asleep, either.

Still, walking past Gaz's room brings back memories of that nasty, sick feeling that follows every intimate experience you've ever had.

It's the feeling that your body is somehow wrong, too tight in some parts and too loose in others, like the very existence of your form is a contradiction that just can't stand a second longer.

The way you hold your laptop shifts, pressing the metal into your chest to somehow remedy this ill. How? You're not sure. It doesn't work very well.

You try to shake it off as you open your door and sit on your bed, but the moans still breach your walls.

God, since when did Gaz sound like that? It feels like it's choking the air out of the room.

You put your best effort toward minding your own business, but you felt like you were losing your mind a half-hour into that endeavor, and instead thumped your fist on the wall, loud enough to send the message. Learning how to sign and trying to ignore... that was simply not a feasible task.

The moaning and creaking stops shortly after, and the sigh you heave is like no others, though you know damn well those two will definitely be pissy with you tomorrow.

Finally.

Plastic buzzing against the "wood" of your nightstand (shitty plywood painted white, as is standard issue) draws your focus away from that, if only for a second.

Heyhey! Do u wanna train together tmrw?? I think you'd do good if you took it easy w/me 😊 <33

The rubber and plastic of your case isn't all that comfortable in your hands, but you hold the magical little glass box in your hands anyway, peering down at the screen before chuckling to yourself.

Why should I?

Is your reply. It doesn't strike you that it might have been a bit on the nose, or that Gary might have read it differently, until the text bubble appears and disappears several times in a row, and you re-read it.

Oh no, you sound like an absolute asshole.

Sorry. I do want to, I just wanted to tease.

He's typing for another few seconds, before the bubble disappears one more time, and it starts to make you panic. More than you want to be panicking over him.

Don't be mad please, I'm sorry. I want to train with you.

How the mighty have fallen.

Look at you, desperately prostrating yourself before a rookie because you're absolutely moronic, praying that he'll offer you a reply. Whatever happened to four times the love?

Fuck. Don't think about that.

im not mad, ur fine just thought you might be a little grouchy from the meds or smth, wasnt sure if i should ask

You breathe a real sigh of relief at the returned messages, already more than tired by the day, but slightly soothed as you look down at the blue light of the screen, and send your last message of the day.

I'll see you at 0630. Goodnight.

A little red heart appears over your message, in the top left corner of the rounded bubble.

You plug in your phone and try to ignore how something in your chest squeezes at being deemed worthy of making plans more than two hours in advance.

It's a shockingly new thing, but goodness does it feel good, even if it brings on a sting of a more somber feeling.

Gaz and Soap sure as fuck didn't do this. Ghost either. You never expected Price to do that for you in the first place. Did they just... not think you were enough to make plans for? Was this pity?

You try to shake off the feeling as you bunch your blankets around your body, allowing your tired form to sink into the mattress and rest. The morning will clear your thoughts.

First | Previous | Next

[girldriveroscar]

i have a very important question for you— long or short hair oscar? What length do you like best?

OSCARO HAIR DISCUSSIONNNN guys. I think I have a controversial opinion here... FROM THE FRONT. I think The best he's looked (eliminating post-race because that's a Diff Category) was Monza 24, post Charle's mom cut.... Yah. speaking w my chest this is The cutiest Oscar look. I think I like it sm because its just like. Prema Oscar but beefed up. like he looks so innocent and boyish idk corruption kink go brrrrrrr. truly a mother's vision... not interrogating what that means for me....

that being said Obviously there's a very convincing case to be made about his long prince hair.

and Yes I do like it. but. I have three qualms. one. the longer it is the more obvious it becomes he doesn't bother with styling- its Really hit or miss... occasionally he'll grate on my ur a millionaire pls put urself together nerve. SORRY! Secondly. and kinda building off that. sometimes the conditions are Not There. and the back becomes such a solid thick block of hair. reminds me too much of ur first masc haircut when the hairdresser Doesn't get u Don't wanna look Like a Girl and she fucks ur shit up. LIKE im not asking for a taper fade just don't leave it so thick... example below...

and final qualm. idk. sometimes it wigs me out when he's too hot. like crossing the border into Formula One Driver People Thirst After territory. I like. his Some Guy-ness. sorry #parasocial.

kinda why even tho Charles is Arguably. my favorite driver (gasp) I don't rly care abt ogling him because physically its like Duh hes attractive. but hes attractive to me 9/10 times in the like. Lucky Blue Smith Wattpad face claim way. insert Wow that sure is a shirtless man meme. Oscar has a certain.. how u say. penis say qua .... about him when hes got RA narc hair.

GOING BACK. the reason However,,, that I'm clarifying from the front on the Monza cut. is because.. the back... is... uh. a different story. you need a Bit of a fade or Texture or something.. so its not just. a Line. in the back. to me the ideal Oscar cut wld be short with the back thinned out and faded a Bit. whatever it is. as long as it's not A. sitting like a Thick helmet on the nape. or B. a flat line... it's Good to me... THIS PRESENTS. the other thing about oscar's hair which is Very Enticing.

my final talking point- his hair texture post-race or in sweaty conditions. 50/50 the sweat/moisture makes him Insanely hot or uh... a lovely contribution to my oscaro gatekeeping. but when it does curl up. and he's all red faced and slick. Peak.

all that being said. nothing can be worse than this.

a whole mess. ur excused go home.

[mxstly-melancholy]

a TON of random SFW William hcs! ✮⋆˙

William is actually really good at playing guitar. I mean, Spring Bonnie plays a banjo so- it only makes sense he’s super good at both!!

Speaking of Spring Bonnie- he has an attachment to the suit because he feels better being hidden from everyone. He never has to worry about people looking at him when he’s Spring Bonnie.

On his days off I imagine he just likes to sit down and have a few beers, maybe a couple cigars… watch a movie, read a book, play guitar..

He doesn’t really like looking in the mirror :( not because he doesn’t like himself, but because he’ll get too fixated on “I’m getting older and time isn’t slowing down.”

He has adhd, and really bad fixation problems. He will not eat, drink or even think of himself for a whole day until he is done working on an animatronic, and suddenly - “oh fuck I’m starving, I’m really thirsty and I need to pee.”

Him & Henry have a lot of inside jokes- and employees look at them like they’re crazy when they say them- and laugh super hard together.

William loves dressing really nice. He loves suits, button ups, bows and ties. He loves super sleek black shoes as well. It makes him feel good about himself.

Other than purple, his favorite colors are yellow, pink, and baby blue.

His parents always kind of left him to do whatever he wanted. They were kind of weirded out by him- his behavior was “crazy,” but only because he was an undiagnosed neurodivergent child.

Because of that he has a hard time letting anyone in, he’s very shielded off from anyone but his partner and Henry.

He doesn’t think he’s husband material. At all. From his perspective, he’s awkward, weird & not the nicest person- so why would anyone want to be with him?

When he got his first animatronic up and running- he has never been happy like that day ever since. He was so proud of himself.

He got into making animatronics on accident when he was younger. I’d say about 23-25.

he was drawing one day, then suddenly it turned into a blueprint of Spring Bonnie. The ideas kept popping up-

He read so many books about machines, computers, everything and anything he could find about electronics, and the ideas kept coming.

He finally decided one day to go for it and he started tinkering with wires & plastic, molding and shaping clay and making casts of everything, and before he knew it- he had a whole animatronic.

He tore it down after some time and kept the information stored in his back pocket for later.

Growing up he didn’t have many friends. He spent most of his time just people watching.

When he was in elementary school- kids used to pick on him for his height. He was always so tall- standing out from everyone else. He hated it.

He got suspended from college once after some guy called him a loser, William didn’t like that. The guys head ended up being smashed into a table a few times.

As he gets older, his anger isn’t so strong anymore. Slightly thankful of that fact, he takes advantage of it to go do more things that usually would just piss him off.

He’s farsighted. It’s hard to see things up close. He really only uses his glasses when working on projects/reading.

He really loves music from the 70s/80s- and really only listens to that.

He faces towards the water in the shower.

He loves collecting vinyls & cassettes.

William only sleeps in his boxers. He can’t have anything else on or else he won’t be able to fall asleep.

It doesn’t matter how cold he is- he has to only be wearing his boxers.

Speaking of sleeping-

He can only fall asleep lying on his side.

He sleep talks here and there.

He tosses and turns a lot.

Unfortunately, he has a lot of nightmares too,

Often waking up in the middle of the night sweaty from them.

He has to have complete dark and silence in order to sleep, too.

His mind is constantly running and going- it’s the only way he’ll be able to shut it down.

He has a horrible, horrible sweet tooth.

I mean, constantly he just wants to eat sweets

He has had so many cavities.

He fucking hates the dentist but he goes anyways.

William exudes a LOT of confidence- but deep deep down he doesn’t feel confident.

He doesn’t - and has never really felt true empathy.

He KNOWS he should feel bad for certain people or things-

But there’s just a disconnect, and he doesn’t feel it.

Please let this man just info-dump on you about his little robot characters.

That’s all I got in me right now. :’) ik there’s more - I’ll probably make a pt2 at some point!

[ourfinalisation]

⟶ no one will ever know the way you and satoru love each other

cw: fem!reader, fluff drabble, reader is a liiittle nice this time wow

“How do you possibly bear him?” your friend asks, laughing over her glass of wine. “He’s like a kid! Don't you want a more serious guy?”

Your friend doesn't see the way he cares for you. Your friend doesn't know of the way he gathers you up in his arms, peppering wet kisses all over your face when you have nightmares. She could never know the times he follows you to the bathroom while you shower because he hates to be apart from you, or the times he makes you laugh so hard you pee a little.

She has no idea of the reverent touches he leaves you with every morning, or the bone crushing squeeze he greets you with in the evening. His enthusiasm to take up your chores, his boundless glee to spend even a single minute with you, the way his eyes seem to light up even further when you walk into a room.

“No, not really. He's wonderful,” you smile.

You wouldn't expect her to understand. Some people march into your lives and insist on turning it topsy-turvy, bringing a brilliant shade of blue into a greyscale world.

“She's boring as fuck, bro,” Satoru’s friend groans, slamming his beer back on the bar counter. Satoru snorts at his sloppiness. “Don’t laugh. She is. You need to find a younger chick, you know, someone more like you.”

Satoru thinks about punching him, but he decides it's a worse fate to never know your true nature. After all, it's not like his friend sees the way you pretend to not notice when he sneaks candy into the shopping cart, or whenever he catches you stifling a laugh at his antics. His friend doesn't see the times you're spontaneous, taking a day off work because you “just missed my fiancé, okay?” And he certainly doesn't see how you always let him pick the movie, and watch with rapt attention because you like whatever he likes.

Satoru is the only person who gets to hear your low voice talking him back to sleep, or your sleepy “get off of me, you whale,” when he wakes up draped over you. The way you kiss him, the way you interlock your hands with his, the way you ruffle his hair whenever you're standing over him. It's all his.

“She’s better than me,” he grins, throwing back the rest of his drink.

Some people, he muses, are designed to bring a much-needed sense of straightness and order to an otherwise chaotic life. Someone to be the rising sun of a new day, casting a soft morning glow over where the moon has kissed.

Perhaps, some are born to meet each other.

[doctor-bus]

I tend to have extremely vivid (sometimes lucid, though I don't have much control) dreams, but there are two that really take the cake for me. Under a readmore because they're long

The first one was a nightmare I had once while taking a nap. It was a really long dream, and most of it was just me going through my daily life, doing things like sitting at my desk on my computer, talking to my mom at home, attending class, ect ect ect. All super mundane and not scary at all. Except every so often my ex would call me, and I didn't want to talk to this ex so I was ignoring the calls.

Except later on, I was rushing across the university campus I was attending at the time and not really paying attention, so when my phone rang I answered it on reflex. Instead of my ex, it was a robotic, automated sounding voice listing off a description. Things like "He is: blonde. He has: blue eyes. He is: 6 foot 5. He is: 200 lbs." It was weird and creepy, so I quickly hung up before the message ended. I sent a couple texts to my mom and friends about this weird ass spam call I got and then just went to class.

The rest of the day in the dream, I kept getting the calls and ignoring them. I knew that it would be the same voice if I picked up, and I really didn't want to get involved in whatever weird bullshit that was.

Then it was evening, and I'd just gotten out of the shower. I remember the sensory detail of the steam in the hallway being extremely vivid (I think just because I was overheating under the blanket). I stepped from my bathroom into my bedroom (in nothing but a bath towel, as I hadn't finished drying off yet) and immediately grabbed my phone off my desk to check it, but my hands were still kind of wet so I fumbled it and accidentally called the number back. It fell on the ground and I had to kneel down to pick it up. By the time I did, it was already partway through the message

"He is: blonde. He has: blue eyes. He is: 6 foot 5. He is: 200 lbs. He is: right handed. He is: 15 ft away."

And at that moment I realize that I am supposed to find this person, and that this person is coming to find me.

My bedroom only had two possible points of entry, one door and one window. I was near the door, so I backed up a little and angled myself so that I could see both at the same time.

My closet door opened behind me.

I scrambled back from the closet towards my desk and window, and this guy slowly climbs out of my closet wearing a tattered, old, incredibly creepy dinosaur costume. It looked sort of like a cursed, hand-sewn doll, stained + faded blue fabric and black bead eyes. He has to sort of bend down to get the long neck and head out, but then he stands upright and is absolutely looming over me, and I'm still kneeling on my floor pretty much naked.

I know with full certainty that whatever the voice sent him here to do will not end well for me. So I quickly grabbed a dagger off my desk (one I'd looked at online right before the dream but didn't end up buying) and stabbed upward at him, right into his crotch.

And out of the wound came dozens and dozens of hands, all grabbing me and pulling me into the split seam.

Then I woke up and spent the rest of the day going "what the absolute fuck was that?!?!?" lol

The other one was less scary, but very emotionally moving.

I dreamed that I was an actor, and that I played the villainess on a power-rangers type show. It was kind of hokey and cheesy, but I was part of an evil power couple with another character, both themed after pollution (for the good guys to beat back, ofc). Like I think I was styled after oil and he was styled after industrial smoke or something???

Anyway, our characters are in evil love or whatever, and we were kind of flirting too. Nothing had come of it yet, but we had really good chemistry and spent a lot of time making flirty banter in between filming scenes at this park in my home town.

(Also at one point we, and a bunch of our coworkers, kicked the shit out of a truck with awful transphobic bumper stickers and ran away lol.)

Anyway, I wanted to keep things going with this guy, but he was really hesitant, saying things like how I didn't really know him and I needed to understand; it's not just his character, he really is toxic. Saying that it's better if we end it there and whatnot.

But then the show got cancelled and we all got fired. (Maybe partially bc of the truck incident. We didn't get caught, but there were enough trans people and allies in the cast and crew that we were suspected. The guy may not have had a name but he DID have blue hair and pronouns, and he was super understanding that I'm non-binary even though I was playing a femme fatale)

I said that was stupid, and that I wanted to keep seeing him, and he kind of relented and said he wanted to keep seeing me too.

Throughout the rest of the dream, we'd meet up periodically. I was doing some other stuff too (there was a weird nonsense segment where I was astral projecting to a Thanksgiving feast and my cousin spilled sprite on the stove and I couldn't clean it up bc I couldn't touch anything??? but that wasn't really relevant).

Anyway, I kept meeting up with this guy, but some things were off. Like, I'd try to call him one day and it'd say it was disconnected, but then he'd call me back from that same number a few hours later. There was another point where I walked the apartment building that I thought he lived in, only to see it burnt out and abandoned, but then later when I walked by again it was normal and I could see him in the lobby through the window. So I kind of assumed that maybe I was mistaken? Maybe I'd gotten lost? But then google maps also said the building was abandoned. But I was like, whatever.

And I had a really good romance with this guy, like, it felt like we had a very serious relationship for months.

Then out of the blue, he says we need to break up. I'm emotionally devastated, asking why, crying, saying that I really love him and I thought we were happy??

And he looks me dead in the eye and says

"Because I'm not real. And the closer you get to me, the closer you come to not being real either."

And then I woke up, feeling a profound sense of loss for the life we had together. I still remember him fondly sometimes, even though it was only a dream.

Anyway if you read all that, thanks for coming to my TED talk lol. I have a lot of cinematic dreams like this, but these two are def the wildest.

I’m so nosy what’s the weirdest, strangest, most insane dream you’ve ever had?

[lacnunga]

i just love everything thats going on in here

[kg-clark-inthedark]

I open up my wallet,

And it’s full of blood.

(text used is lyrics from The Dead Flag Blues by Godspeed You! Black Emperor)

[blue-eli]

Ink October day 31: Backwards

In a manner such that the back precedes the front.

[beeduoo]

wonderful

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

pardon my shaky hands

[biillys]

hi au where billy and max are child stars

neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.

his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.

him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.

the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.

billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.

his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.

having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.

neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.

turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.

part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.

being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.

it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.

him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.

him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.

he never even got to tell her his news.

it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.

starting to resent it.

hating it.

hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.

hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.

hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.

him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.

growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.

neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.

rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.

his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.

neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.

emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.

going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.

doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.

the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.

deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.

hitting rock bottom.

getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.

her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.

them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.

her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.

them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.

billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.

neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.

too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.

he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?

before or after your dad took his cut?

billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.

ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

due to popular demand (1 comment)

[ghoul--doodle]

I couldn’t settle on one colour so this guy gets all of them

[effable-as-f]

Man wtf is real Oisin like if his pure-rage self is this cold and calculating

[tokyoteddywolf]

holding my head in my fucking hands i dont drink but by fucking god this stress may drive me to it- I'm not religious but surely this is some kinda cosmic joke, right? I am praying to whatever fucking deity is left that we don't lose this. Mom is half serious about moving to England and honestly mood.

Thank god we have a full alcohol cabinet because i think either way this ends with me slamming back the white chocohol in the cabinet.

[whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go]

Spot the difference level impossible is it me or frisk undertale