#i like just realized i fucked up the layers on the text oops !!!! whatever

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

due to popular demand (1 comment)

[scullydubois]

baby, in your kingdom (for valentine’s <3)

read on ao3   tagging: @today-in-fic @iusedtoknowwhatawishwasfor @scullllaaaaayyyy

Mulder proposes to Scully during the Requiem bed scene.

So you may have seen the text post I wrote imagining a version of Requiem where Mulder proposed and didn’t go off to Oregon at the end...I couldn’t stop thinking about that, so it turned into this. This is my favorite prose that I’ve written for a fic, and it might turn into a series someday because this concept is just so rich and worth diving into. Happy Valentine’s Day, and enjoy a treat on me to numb the pain hehe. 

T, 1.7k, more angst than fluff (oops) but the tenderness is there too 

----------------------------

He needs to tell her one thing and ask her another. Should be simple enough, except it never is when it comes to words passing between them. It's in both their natures to leave the sweetest sentiments unsaid lest they lose their luster when voice meets air. And what he has in mind is not exactly the easiest of utterances, neither the former nor the latter. One is the kind of admittance we fear when the phone rings unexpectedly, the other a declaration the unluckiest people go to their graves without getting. Delivering both at the same time is a sin if he’s ever committed one. And for once, he cares what count God has against him. What if he isn’t able to see her again, even in the afterlife? 

He’s been weighing one decision for awhile, looking for the balance between his conviction and her virtue. He could have done it when she came back to him with her baby-faced blush, accepting the cross he clung to in lieu of her. Or when she showed him the x-rays, and they spelled out no hope. When he cried by her bedside and she didn’t stir--he could have done it then, she wouldn’t have known. But it means nothing unless it means everything to both of them, and she wouldn’t have--no, couldn’t have--given him the answer he wants back then. He holds this as the sacred truth that governed him then and will govern him now. He has no room for regrets.

The scuff of their shoes against the baseball diamond was the first time he realized that maybe, maybe this manic impulse of his had some basis in reality. Not a solid one, nothing they could cross a canyon with, but in time…

And then he was inside her brain, privy to her thoughts, and what was an unsound bridge had become a stairway to Heaven only they could climb. Fuck a safety net, he wouldn’t be needing that anymore.

Then he got the call from Billy Miles, and he thought of her ouroboros, and isn’t that what they’ve been doing this whole time? Circling some greater truth that they’ve always known? 

Every circle ends where it begins and begins where it ended. This is what he’s thinking when he spots Billy’s badge, and they glide over the X he painted when they didn’t yet trust each other (but so badly wanted to), and when he lays eyes on Teresa Nemmans and she is not Nemmans but Hoese, and there is a child in her arms. 

Seven years. And what do they have to show for it? What they mean to each other has changed, but it’s not like anyone can tell. He called Scully his partner then, and he calls her his partner now. Oh, the time they have wasted.

But it will be wasted no more. Seeing her with the Hoese baby, cooing a lullaby into its precious ear…seven years ago, he told her of the government’s conspiracy and how nothing else mattered to him. That is no longer the truth.

There is a truth they both know that is stronger than anything. When she appears at his door, flushed and shivering like a puppy left out in the cold, his head and his heart finally hit the same wavelength. He will shy away from fate no longer.

She doesn’t wait to be invited in, she knows his bed is hers for the taking. He lifts her shoes off her feet like he’s kneeling at an altar, wraps his arms around her as if it’s what he was put on this Earth to do. Contrary to popular belief, he has quite a reverence for domestic bliss. He’s been searching for it since his own reflection of it was shattered at twelve years old, and it has finally come to him.

He is scared to death that he’ll fuck it up, but not so scared that he’ll back away. In other words, his approach to everything in his life. It occurs to him then, with his lips on her temple, that he would set his own flame to the office and every X-File in it if she asked him to. If that’s what she wanted. He wouldn’t even have stepped foot back in that haunted place after its first burning if she’d given him an indication that it was not her desire.

“Scully,” he starts, nuzzling her neck, “I was thinking about when you asked me if I ever wanted to stop...if I ever wanted to get out of the car.”

“Uh-huh,” she breathes so faintly that he wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t felt it in her lungs. 

“Well, I do want that. I’ve always wanted that. Remember when we were in Home and I said I’d like to settle someplace like that?”

Scully chuckles against him.

“Obviously not in Home, but you know, some place with the small-town sentiment without the, uh, familial connection.”

“Mm-hm,” Scully murmurs, sensing a larger point that he has strayed from.

“I just never knew how to get to it--I never thought that I could get to it, because I grew up thinking my parents had that, and then I saw they never did at all.”

Scully tucks his open palm under her chin, listening contentedly. 

“So I spent my time chasing apparitions,” he continues, “things I couldn’t see, because I stopped believing in the things that I could. It’s like…the invisible things could surpass my expectations easily, but the visible ones could only disappoint.”

Scully feels cocooned, protected, and warm. She latches her attention to Mulder’s voice to keep from drifting off, kissing his knuckle to show that she’s listening.

“And I’ve realized, Scully,” he says, an edge in his voice, “that it’s a fucking waste of time to live like that. Like doing laps on a lazy susan and wondering why you’re never getting anywhere.” 

“I know,” Scully says, her voice quiet but certain. 

Mulder laughs lightly. “I know you do, that’s what you’ve been saying all this time...I just didn’t see it before.” He kisses her shoulder, lingering in the final moments before doing what cannot be undone. “And so I have something to ask you, but there’s something I have to tell you first.” Rawness permeates his voice. 

At the sound of this, Scully cranes her neck, her gaze falling upon his face for the first time since they laid down. She can barely see his hazel irises through the reflecting pool in his eyes. 

“What is it, Mulder?” she asks, concern pressing up against her urgent need to know.

He closes his eyes, the sight of her too much for him in this moment. What he wouldn’t give to feel like he could live with himself if he kept this a secret.

“I’ve seen a neurologist, I’ve had MRIs, it’s all conclusive. My brain is diseased from whatever Cigarette Smoking Man did to me. Fatal, my neurologist says.”

“Mulder…” Scully sits up, her whole being gravitating toward him. She runs her fingers along the space where she knows he bears his scar. 

“Who told you this? And when? Have you had symptoms…?”

Clearly, she does not want to believe him, and he understands.

“I’ve been going back and forth to appointments for a few weeks. It was just confirmed the other day, I didn’t want to worry you until I knew more.”

“And your symptoms?” 

He recognizes the darkness in her eyes and pucker in her forehead that forewarns tears. “Disorientation, dizziness, memory loss...sometimes I feel like I sleepwalked right through my day. “

‘Why didn’t you tell me?” her voice crackles.

He kisses her hand. “I thought you might go to some dark places if you tried to diagnose me.”

“Well, you’ve just turned the lights out on me with no warning!”

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m sorry...I didn’t know how best to approach it, I just knew I wanted to cause you the least pain possible.”

“You wanted it to be nothing so you wouldn’t have to tell me,” she notes, not accusing, just speaking plainly.

“Well, yes. That would have been ideal.”

She swallows back tears, wrapping her arms around his neck with grave sincerity. “But now I’m here to fight right alongside you.”

This is what they do--have done, for years. Make his pain her pain and vice versa. Hurt hurts less when shared.

Mulder pulls away first, and it feels like peeling off a layer of his skin. Still, this is as necessary as anything he has ever known. 

“That’s why I was wondering--and listening to it now, I realize this is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t know, I thought you might understand...will you marry me, Scully?”

Her breath catches and before she can think of anything else, she is careening toward his t-shirt to cover her tears. She clutches at the material, pulling it from his midsection to her face.

As far as Mulder’s concerned, there’s an elephant stuck in his throat. “I really don’t know what that means,” he stammers.

Scully lets him see her, tear-stained skin and all. “Yes, Mulder, my god yes! Do you honestly think I’d say no to you?”

“I would, especially in this situation.” 

It’s a classic Mulder comment, but Scully’s not laughing. She pulls him in again, just wanting to feel his skin against hers. Their breaths slow in time with each other’s, their heartbeats matching pace. Scully’s lips brush his mole.

She speaks into his skin. “You saved me when it was impossible. I will do the same for you.”

Mulder thought he might hold it together until those words slipped from her lips. The elephant in his throat turns to stifled sobs. 

With silent tears still streaking down her cheeks, Scully runs her thumbs along his lips. Just as she did when they thought his brain was getting better. The love in her eyes is equal to then too.

“My constant, my touchstone, remember?” she professes. “Then, now, and always.” She presses her lips to his forehead, and he thinks she must be healing him.

[chilling-seavey]

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - 4

A/N Oops early post. I couldn’t contain myself

Warnings: This story is centered around a murder so there will be graphic descriptions of blood, death/manslaughter, dealing with corpses, possible domestic abuse (physical/verbal), crime/covering up a crime, shock/grief, and other possibly heavy or triggering topics. Please read at your own discretion.

The muffle of heavy footsteps outside the front door had Jonah and I halting our breaths in our chests in anticipation. We were expectedly on edge. Thankfully, it was just the mail delivery and the security sensor at the front step set off a little notification noise from the main monitor that was set up on the kitchen counter. When the metal mailbox closed and the footsteps faded back towards the street, I moved over to the main monitor and typed in the code and scrolled through the notification menu. The film footage from the studio was still gone but it was listed as having been deleted around 8pm the night before.

“Anything of interest?” Jonah asked.

“Not really.” I mumbled and turned back to face him. “I’m going to look around a little more.”

“Alright. I’ll look around here.” he looked me up and down, “Maybe change your clothes while you’re at it.”

I glanced down at my white hoodie and white jeans, both pieces of clothing stained dark red all up the back from where I had been laying all night and my bloody handprint was smeared over the chest of my hoodie. Good idea.

I returned to the master bedroom and set my laptop bag on the bed and let my computer turn on while I headed into the walk-in closet to find clean clothes. The two garment bags hanging on the far wall in front of the mirror had me stopping in place with my hand on the light switch. I hesitated as if not having expected them to be there; even if I had known they would be returned home by Jonah and my brother along with the wedding gifts two weeks ago. I shuffled over to unzip the first black garment bag, dragging my hand down the smooth white dress that had been hidden underneath. A few smudges of red were left behind from my touch and I pulled my hand back quickly and wiped my blood-stained fingers on my pants.

I forced myself to swallow back any feelings as I zipped the bag back up and focused my attention on pulling black jeans from the shelf and a black t-shirt from a hanger. I took them into the ensuite bathroom and closed the door behind me as if I were trying to shut out something or suddenly needed some privacy. Funny that the only invasive things in the damn house was the weird feeling of guilt and realization and utter confusion that was eating me alive.

My hands were holding myself up on the edge of the counter and I was breathing hard, staring myself in the eye through the spotless mirror. Avalon always liked things clean.

Although I had been passed out on my studio floor for God knows how long that night, I still looked like I hadn’t slept in weeks. I seemed to have a layer of drying blood all over me and it matted my dyed blonde hair down in unattractive dark clumps and stained my white clothes evilly. The dark circles under my eyes didn’t seem like they were just from the flight home and the pale complexion that stared back at me didn’t even feel like my own. I ran my hand over my face, staring at how my slightly sticky fingers tugged at my skin, drawing more attention to my eyes and dry lips…honestly, who was I? My wife was dead – her throat slit and she was left to bleed out – and I was more worried about my face in the mirror.

I could see her eyes in my mind. Those lifeless brown eyes staring at me with all the unrevealable answers to the world. And yet, only days before, she was looking up at me with those same honey brown eyes, full of love and lust, on a king size bed in Costa Rica and whispering how much she loved me.

You have to understand, dear reader, that I had no clue what I was doing or what I was feeling. So you cannot truly blame me when the only reaction to my current situation was my body sending me to my knees in front of the toilet to throw up the limited plane food in my stomach as the metallic smell of blood flooded my senses. It was all too much.

I didn’t know what we had to do next, but I knew that whatever the plan was going to be, we had to move quickly. So I stripped out of my blood-stained clothes and into the clean ones, only stopping long enough to wipe any blood from my skin with a damp cloth until I looked reasonably tame in my reflection. I wet my hair under the tap to get the worst of the blood out of it and ruffled it with a towel before saying ‘good enough’ and headed back to the bedroom.

If I was in fact a murderer, no amount of water was going to cleanse this conscious.

I sat on the edge of the bed and typed in my password to my laptop. The screen loaded and brought up the last tab that was open; the flight information home. The site had updated and stated that the plane had landed on time at LAX yesterday evening and my credit card receipt showed the taxi payment for thirty minutes later. We were home around 7:00. Other than confirming the times at which we returned home, the laptop didn’t offer much assistance.

What did I expect? The screen to read out exactly how my wife was murdered?

Jonah came into the room, “Hey. Find anything?”

I glanced up at him before looking back down at the screen, biting anxiously at my fingernail, “No. Don’t remember anything more either.”

Jonah didn’t answer, letting me have a moment to collect my thoughts. I didn’t blame him; what do you say to your best friend who possibly just murdered their wife and doesn’t remember it. I swiped my finger over the trackpad on my laptop to bring up the other window that was open; iMessage. The last conversation thread that was up was between Avalon and me. I remembered it well.

I was down at the resort bar the night before we left. Jonah had sent me a recording that he wanted my opinions on and I had a few changes I wanted to make so I took myself downstairs with my headphones and my laptop and got some work in. Cocktail in one hand and mouse in the other, I worked until the notification popped up on the bottom menu of my screen.

It would be nice if you spent our last night up here with me.

I had ignored it, huffing and rolling my eyes at her constant pestering and minimized the window again.

God…stupid me. That would have been our last night together. And she didn’t even face towards me when I finally came to bed.

“You weren’t around me!” she yelled, tapping her hand against the cup in her hand so the sound of her ring against the glass punctuated each of her words. “What person wants to spend their honeymoon alone? Of course, I wanted to go home! I was basically there by myself and I was miserable!”

“I had to get some shit done! Jonah needed me to double check a few things while we were away. It’s not the end of the world and I’m sorry if you feel that way!”

I could see her visibly tense and she turned her head so she didn’t have to look at me, jabbing under her breath, “That’s always your excuse, isn’t it? ‘Always gotta get some shit done’. Well, I’m sick and tired of coming second to your work all the time.”

I made her miserable.

“Jonah.” I breathed, turning to look at him over the top of my laptop, “What if she killed herself?”

“She didn’t seem suicidal.” Jonah said.

“Yeah.” I sighed, turning back to the screen. I let out a heavy breath and closed my laptop and tucked it back in the case. “We have to decide what to do.”

“Alright. What are you thinking?” Jonah asked.

I thought for a moment as I set my laptop bag back on top of the untouched suitcase by the wall, “I don’t know. I need time to figure out what the hell happened.”

“Do you want to head to the lodge in Utah? It will buy you a few days and maybe we can figure out what happened by then.”

I nodded, letting out a deep breath, “Yeah, okay. That probably makes the most sense.”

I walked past Jonah and out of the master bedroom, stopping shuffle through the mail that had been collected by Jonah and Christian throughout the last three weeks and placed in a decorative bowl on the front console table. I ruffled through a few bills and random mailer coupons, just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything that I might want to take with me out of state. My search stopped dry at one crisp white envelope, addressed to our house and labelled with simply Avalon with no surname. I frowned and slid my finger under the sealed flap to tear it open.

“Bro, opening other people’s mail is a federal offence.” Jonah stated as he joined me by the table.

“She’s dead, Jonah. I don’t think it really matters anymore.” I answered flatly and pulled out the folded piece of lined stationary from the envelope.

Avalon,

Things are hard right now and I get that but shutting me out isn’t going to help anyone. You can’t give up on me. I really want to see you when you get home. Please let me know when you get this. I need to make things right.

-J

My heart felt like someone was pushing it through a juicer and I frowned down at the paper as I read it a second time. The second time didn’t make it hurt any less. I rubbed my hand over my chest and then ruffled it through my damp hair.

“What the fuck is this?” I breathed. I looked at Jonah, “Who’s J? Is it you?”

“Me? Why would I write her suspicious letters when I can just text her?” Jonah replied.

“Yeah.” I sighed and looked back down at the letter. I clenched my jaw and swallowed back the hurt and strange glimmer of jealousy that was bubbling up inside my empty stomach. “Maybe there’s something on her phone.”

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee​ @randomlimelightxxx​ @stuffofseaveyy​ @hopinglimelight​ @tempus-ut-luceant​ @br4nd1s​ @xkelsev​ @hiya-its-amber​ @sexyseavey15​

[bratkook]

clairvoyant. (m) part seven.

masterlist.

pairing: taehyung x reader (briefly) jungkook x reader 

word count: 15k+ damn my bad

warnings: nsfw, spanking, dirty talk, unprotected sex (dont do this) but otherwise pretty tame at the end

authors note: i know i said this would go up monday but im clearly a liar i stayed up late last night writing this and it’s partially edited so if something looks fucked up dont come for me :( ill edit it later i just wanted to get it up lmfao im thinking another chapter left, maybe 2 anyways lmk what u think

Its Monday afternoon and you’re sat at your desk at work, your fingers mindlessly tapping on your mousepad as you retouch a portrait on your desktop. To be honest, you weren’t really paying it any attention, your mind kept drifting over to the text Jungkook had sent you the other night while he was drunk. Sure he had asked you to help him get his dick wet and a part of you knows he meant help as in_ help me find someone new_ but the perverted side of you hoped he meant help as in let me fuck you.

“Okay, unless you’re trying to make her skin look like plastic you need to ease off.”

Your hands jump at Yoongi’s voice and you realize the monstrosity you created on the models face, wincing as you delete the layer entirely to start over.

“Oops, thanks.” Yoongi just laughs, resting his arm on your shoulder and slouching over your seated frame as you resume editing with a slightly clearer head.

“Did you sleep okay last night?” He had been watching you during your entire shift together, today was an easier day, only slight organizing and retouching being the things on the to-do list but you had been very spacey. You were misnaming files and not being able to find them on the desktop, forgetting basic commands on photoshop that were second nature to you and you had mistakenly put coffee grounds instead of instant coffee in Yoongis morning cup and hadn’t realized.

Your hand came up to scratch your temple as you thought back to yesterday, waking up at three in the afternoon hungover as fuck in Jimin’s bedroom. Both of you had managed to go to sleep in the same exact clothes you went out in and your body was stiff which lead you to believe whatever sleeping position you chose had been very unfortunate.

Both of your phones had died in the middle of the night since the pair of you had been way to drunk to even think of plugging them in and when Jimin finally waltzed in from the bathroom, his hair damp from the shower, he suggested going out to eat so you let your phone remain dead in your pocket as you went about your day. You were blissfully unaware of Jungkook’s text sitting pretty in your inbox.

In turn Jungkook was sat in his own bed, a massive headache pounding so hard he swore his eyes were vibrating from the force. He remembered the text, hell he remembered jacking off in the shower before sending said text. So when he was finally able to sit up without wanting to vomit he was expecting his phone to have a notification from you, your typical response backed with a handful of suggestive emojis because you knew it made him blush.

But when there was nothing he felt his eyebrows furrow together, his finger locking his phone and tossing it beside him in bed as he lay back down. Had he crossed a line? His message was tame enough to leave it open to interpretation but Jungkook knew how he meant it when he sent it, he may have been high off his orgasm but he knew.

He continued to lay in bed for the majority of the day, only leaving to go to the cafeteria with Taehyung once he finally awoke, equally as hungover. He ate as much as he could stomach, not accustomed to hangovers that left his stomach feeling queasy. Unlike you who was currently stuffing as many breadsticks in your mouth as you could in the restaurant you and Jimin occupied, only leaving once your stomach was at capacity. You didn’t get a chance to see Jungkook’s text until eight o’clock that night and when you did see it your mind first went to sex. Jungkook was asking you for sex.

Sort of.

Slapping perverted thoughts from your head you responded with a simple of course i’ll help you. Leaving it at that, you knew he had sent you the first text while wasted so you were giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Those cursed perverted thoughts haunted your dreams though, images of you riding a shy Jungkook on your bed until he came noisily playing over and over and over you were surprised you hadn’t woken up with your underwear covered in remnants of an orgasm.

You hadn’t slept well at all.

You tell Yoongi this with a tight lipped smile and he nods sympathetically, “What are you doing after this?”

Looking at the clock you see there is twenty minutes left before the end of your shift, Taehyung had already messaged you earlier in the day asking to hang out and whether that meant actually hanging out or hanging out you weren’t sure but either way was fine with you. You needed a distraction to help you stop seeing the image of Jungkook cumming replaying in your mind.

“I’m seeing Tae.”

You don’t look up to see Yoongi’s reaction, not wanting to see any facial expression of judgment when you mention Taehyung’s name. Thankfully he only hums in response, watching you save your current file and start to shut down the computer and going to his own workstation to start doing the same.

When the time comes to leave you say your goodbyes, Yoongi getting into an uber to head to Jimin’s, telling you if you wanted to join them after you were done with Taehyung you were more than welcome. You hug him and tell him you’ll think about it before hopping onto the bus and heading back to campus.

The weather was getting colder in the day, its nearing the end of the first week of October and the fallen leaves decorating the sidewalks made that obvious. Once you hop off on campus you take note of the flyers plastered on bulletin boards, big posters taped on the sides of the buildings to announce the various Halloween themed events going on and you grin at all the activities that you love. This was always your favorite time of year.

As you trek your way into the boys dorm you greet Baekhyun at the front desk before entering the elevator with your phone in your hand. Your eyes are downcast as you scroll through your campus portal, skimming through the various assignments you had due this month and starting to feel the small tingles of stress creep up on you.

The elevator dings and you step out, your fingers tapping on an assignment due later tonight. Your eyes are glued to your device so you don’t notice Jungkook stood a few feet away, frozen in spot as he sees you. It’s not until you’re about to run into him that his shadow snaps you out of your daze, your eyes flicking up, “Oh, Jungkook!” You throw him a charming smile as you wrap your arms around him in greeting.

Jungkook relaxes when he feels your embrace, the nerves he’s felt since sending you that text vanish, his own arms wrapping around your body with a gentle squeeze. “Hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”

In retrospect he knows what you’re doing here but he needs to hear you say it. He needs to remind himself that you’re not here to see him to fulfill any sick desires he has.

You pull back still smiling, slipping your phone into your back pocket to give him your full attention. “Taehyung text me wanting to hang out so,” you spread your arms out widely, “here I am.”

He can only grin at that, of course you weren’t here to see him. You were here to see Taehyung. The man you fucked. Constantly. Not him.

You take note of his appearance, a giant black hoodie swallowing his frame and his school bag draped over his shoulder, “Are you heading out somewhere?” You speak again when he says nothing in response.

“Yeah, just to a study group at the library.” His eyes give you another once over, he wants to keep talking to you but it’s clear you have other things to get to, “I don’t want you to keep Tae waiting so I’ll be off.” He shoves his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie with a small smile and steps around you awkwardly.

You can only mutter out a small okay because he’s acting a little strange but thats typically how Jungkook acts. He’s relatively shy, only speaking when spoken to and whenever he has bouts of confidence where he jokes and laughs and says things you’d never imagine him saying it only lasts for a moment before he’s back to shy Jungkook.

You wave at him and continue walking down the hallway to Taehyung’s room. Jungkook manages to take two steps towards the elevator before stopping and turning back around, “Y/N!” He shouts, flinching a little at his own voice and cringing when he sees you jump for a second, turning around with a curious face. “Do you think we could hang out soon? Like…” he rummages in his brain as he thinks of something else to say, “maybe after all our classes tomorrow?”

You think for a moment, you have a few classes after the creative writing class you share with him and another work shift right after so that won’t work. “I can’t tomorrow but after classes on Friday I’m free.” Jungkook doesn’t even think about his schedule, shouting out that Friday works for him as well and now your beaming smile is back and Jungkook can feel his stupid heart skip a beat at the sight.

Now he can finally leave in peace, a small pep in his step as he enters the elevator but that doesn’t stop him from aggressively jabbing his finger against the close door button so he doesn’t have to see you walk into Tae’s room.

Luckily the week passes by quickly, Jungkook had nerves bubbling up in his stomach the entire time. It wasn’t like he had never hung out with you one on one, you guys usually hung out during the free period you had after your shared class but it was something that was sort of routine. This time he had explicitly asked to hang out, he wasn’t sure why that felt so different but it did so as his professor recites his final sentences Jungkook is totally zoned out, only coming back when he hears he’s dismissed. And then hes shooting up out of his seat, throwing his backpack over his shoulders and speed walking out of the building and onto the quad.

He passes the stupid cafe and ducks his head, walking even faster to avoid the possibility of Jisoo spotting him through the giant windows. When he feels he can no longer be spotted he lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing and his pace slowing down. That gross feeling he had in his chest after Jisoo had slammed the door in his face hadn’t gone away, he still felt like he had done something horrible even though he knows he hadn’t but the small glares Jisoo would send him whenever she would spot him on campus just made that feeling linger.

He was counting down the days she would graduate, or at least until she’d set her eyes on someone else because he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. She hadn’t resorted to shouting things at him or anything too out of pocket but it was clear to Jungkook that she was telling her circle of friends that he had done something despicable and they were telling their friends. The whispers and small huddling that would happen when he would pass them on campus or in the rare occurrence that they shared a class made that obvious. He hated it.

Once he finally makes it into the girl’s dorm Joy greets him with a smile and he tries his best to return it. Letting her simple question erase the worries in his mind, “Are you going to the bonfire tonight?”

He grabs his id back from her and looks up with a nod, that was actually what he was going to suggest the two of you do. He had seen the abundance of posters around campus advertising the event and it sounded like fun. “Yeah actually, I’ve never been.”

Joy smiles with a clap of her hands, knowing it’s his first year at this school, “It’s a good time, lots of snacks and someone always finds a way to sneak booze in. You guys will like it.” She refers to you when she says that, already knowing thats who Jungkook was here to see. Jungkook can feel someone behind him so he shuffles away to let the person sign in, waving at Joy as he makes his way up to your room.

The hallways of your floor are covered in fake spiderwebs, skeletons draped over some girl’s doors while others had plastered colored paper and drawn up their own version of spooky designs that reminded him of his years in elementary school. It was cute and honestly the boy’s dorms could take some notes because the only decoration they currently had was a skeleton sitting on one of the toilets in the bathroom.

As he stands in front of your door he takes note of the white board you and Wendy have hung up and he laughs softly when he sees whats written on it. In red marker it says *dracula voice* we want to suck your blood with some poorly drawn fangs underneath it and in the corner beside it the word dick is written with an obnoxious arrow coming up to point at the word blood to replace it.

His knuckles knock on your room door, hearing shuffling from behind it and some laughter before it’s thrown open and you’re greeting him with a smile, “Hey Jungkook.” Your lips shimmer back thanks to the clear lipgloss you’re currently wearing and his eyes zero in on them.

“Hey.” He mumbles out and you catch his eyes giving you a once over, finally making eye contact when you step to the side to let him in. He steps into the room and notices that you and your roommate must really love this holiday because you both have decked it out in halloween decorations. There’s a giant spiderweb rug in the center of the floor between your beds and a string of bat fairy lights hung behind your beds where you pinned more polaroids onto it. Theres a soft orange glow that fills the room and he notices you two have even gone as far as sticking led tape to the ceiling for the ambiance.

“Love the commitment.”

You chuckle, pointing over to your roommate with a smile, “She’s a slut for halloween and so am I so we had to. It’s not fully finished yet, we gotta grab some more stuff don’t we?”

When he looks over at Wendy’s side he spots her sat on her bed as she ties her shoes, “You bet your ass we do, I’m thinking we need different curtains or maybe a full on skeleton like Yeri has hung on her door.”

Jungkook can’t imagine how much more effort you two could put into your room but the determination set on Wendy’s face shows that she’s not joking. “Alright I’m off to go be a slave to the systems of education, pray I make it through this four hour lecture.” You laugh and clasp your hands in faux prayer, laughing harder when she rolls her eyes at you with a smile, telling you and Jungkook goodbye and dragging her feet like a child as she leaves.

“What did you wanna do today?” You ask him as you go back to your mirror to finish fixing your hair up. Jungkook sets his bag on the floor beside your bed, rolling his shoulders as he sits on it and shuffles backwards until he feels the cool of the wall against his back.

“There’s that rooftop bonfire happening later on, I was thinking maybe we could go to that?”

Your face perks up when he mentions that, immediately saying it was a good idea. That yearly bonfire was always the best, last year they had managed to bring up a giant blow up projector and played some classic halloween movies while everyone sat around the bonfire and made s’mores. Jin had snuck in a few flasks full of vodka so you and your group had been nice and drunk, bundled up in blankets while Hocus Pocus played.

“That actually sounds perfect, did you wanna head down to the store to grab some stuff?” Your attention was back on the mirror, your fingers coming to wipe at the corners of your mouth to fix any smudges of your gloss so Jungkook felt like he could stare at you and not get caught. You had your hair in messy waves, one side tucked behind your ear as you leaned forward and the cropped grey crewneck you had on wasn’t going to do much to protect you from the cold but it was obvious the outfit was for purely aesthetic purposes.

“Sure, lets go.”

The both of you head back out onto campus, two reusable bags in your hand to help you carry whatever you decide to buy. The bonfire usually had enough snacks for everyone but it was always good to go out and buy stuff you knew you liked as a safety net. The walk was nice, the sun had finally set, the last remaining hues of purple peeking away behind the buildings, allowing the floor lights to illuminate the path you were walking on.

Jungkook seemed to be out of his usual shy shell, his hands flailing around as he talked to you about the project he was working on in his intro to ceramics class. He swore he had no talent in it and was only taking it since he needed the units the class came with but you found it hard to believe since the photos he would post online said otherwise.

“You’re so full of shit.”

His mouth dropped open, his arms freezing in the position they were currently in as he tried to show you the motions of making a mug, “I swear. I’m gonna make you a mug and it’s gonna be the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen and you’re gonna have to love it because you doubted me.”

That just makes you laugh and he smiles down at you, “I’d love that, make it extra big too. Big enough so I can pour two cups of coffee in it and I’ll treasure it forever, no matter how ugly it is.”

He nods in thought, his lips pursed together because he was definitely gonna do that now. He really wasn’t the worst at ceramics but now he was determined to make you a half decent mug to drink your morning coffee. “Deal, give me a week.” He pulled the door open for the store and let you slip in first, the bells dinging up ahead to notify the worker of your presence.

You went for the chips, stuffing two bags of spicy tteokbokki chips into your bag as your first choice. Jungkook roams over to the sweets, grabbing a few of the chocopie for himself, calling your name out as he holds one up and when you nod he grabs a few more for you as well. It takes you both a few minutes to raid the shelves, huddling in a corner with the bag pulled apart to inspect the damage, “Is this enough?”

Jungkook hums as his eyes scan the contents, spicy chips, seaweed crisps, chocopies, some sausages, two small containers of banana milk for himself and a few cans of sparkling soju crammed at the bottom for you two to conceal. This seemed like enough, and you kept saying there would be more options once you got there so he didn’t think you should load up on too much. “Yeah, I think we’re good.”

Satisfied, you pay for your goods and make your way back to your building where the event would take place. You hop into the elevator and click the very top floor, he could see your big smile in the reflection, your feet tapping excitedly and he feels a smile spreading on his own face, happy that he chose an activity that made you this giddy.

When the doors open to the roof you step out onto the hallway and walk up three steps through the doors that lead to roof access. Jungkook had no idea either of the dorm buildings even had roof access so he’s amazed at that fact alone. The entire perimeter is blocked up by a cement border to prevent anyone from falling off, a plethora of plants covering it up to make it look more pleasing to the eye. Right in the middle of it all was the bonfire, thin and long and already lit up with people sat on the surrounding couch.

Besides that were a handful of bean bags and comfy chairs in case there wasn’t enough seating on the couch and if that wasn’t enough either there was a giant space open up in front of the blow up projector for anyone to lay a comfy blanket down to chill.

The snack and beverage table was placed to the left which was where you were currently dragging Jungkook to. You pulled out a few of the treats you had bought to leave them for anyone to enjoy and Jungkook couldn’t resist grabbing a piece of chocolate that was meant for the s’mores, letting the candy melt in his mouth as his eyes roamed the place some more.

“Hey, isn’t that Jimin?” He spoke slowly, not wanting the melted candy to drool out of his mouth. You were munching on a cinnamon cracker, your head turning to where he was pointing and low and behold it was Jimin. He was currently sat on the grey couch in front of the fire right next to a girl you recognized as Chaeyoung, she was holding a marshmallow on top of the fire, laughing as Jimin surely teased her for burning it.

“Yeah it is.” You smiled to yourself, seeing your best friend behaving uncharacteristically flirty, accepting a bite of the slightly burnt marshmallow smushed between the chocolate and crackers in Chaeyoung’s hands, licking his lips and plucking the snack out of her grasp to feed her the rest of it.

Jungkook walked towards them, seeing a few empty spots to their left on the smaller couch by the fire, he noticed the metal basket by the couch containing blankets so he snagged one out before he took a seat, handing it to you when you sat beside him.

“Y/N, Jungkook!” Jimin notices you two the second you sit down, popping the tip of his finger into his mouth to lick away the sticky residue from it.

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be here.” You tease him, setting your bag in front of you and Jungkook and draping the blanket over the both of your laps for some added warmth.

“I wasn’t going to but this one,” he drapes his arm over Chaeyoung and she blushes at his display of affection, covering up a side of her face, “convinced me to come. Something about them playing The Lost Boys.”

She looked up at him and smiled, “It’s my all time favorite movie, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.” Jimin just shrugs, a teasing smirk on his face and you wanna scream at how cute hes acting but you really don’t want to embarrass him. Park Jimim was not one for dates or romantics so seeing him on what could arguably be described as a date blind sided you.

“Oh, I’m Chaeyoung by the way.” She leans out of his embrace and reaches over with an extended hand. You lean over Jungkook to reach it, a giggly handshake being exchanged between you two, “Y/N. You’re a third year right? Political science major?”

“Yes, I am! I saw your photography exhibit by the way, super amazing.” Your hands come up to cup your cheeks at her compliment, suddenly feeling like you two are drunk strangers at a bar ready to spit compliment after compliment at each other.

“And you’re Jungkook right?” She speaks again, sitting back in her seat as she stares at him with an unreadable expression and you can feel Jungkook tense up slightly at being recognized because how the fuck would a third year know who he was. He wasn’t a social butterfly at all, he only knew you and your group and his other small group of friends that he studied with.

“Oh, yeah I am.” Jungkook reaches his own hand out to greet her and she does the same. Pulling her hand back after a moment and crossing her leg over the other in thought, “Weren’t you just dating Jisoo?”

There it is. Of course thats how she would know who he was. And that only proved his suspicion that Jisoo was spreading his name around.

She had a defensive cast over her gaze, her eyes boring into Jungkook to analyze him. It clicked instantly that Chaeyoung and Jisoo were best friends so theres no doubt that right now Chaeyoung is ready to chew Jungkook out for being what she thinks is a dirtbag.

You can see how wide Jungkooks eyes get at her question, readjusting himself on the couch while his mind sorts through any possible answer he can give her. How could he clear his name without sounding like the jerk she thinks he currently is?

“Uhm,” his eyes drift over to her for a moment and when he sees her unwavering gaze he looks at Jimin instead, seeing him with his lips pressed in a firm line, “we just went to dinner and the art exhibit. We weren’t dating.”

Chaeyoung’s look softens at that, his answer being a stark contrast to what Jisoo had told her. She had said Jungkook had made her his girlfriend and went on this amazing date and when she didn’t put out he told her they weren’t dating.

Jungkook continues to ramble, thinking that answer doesn’t satisfy her, “Jisoo’s a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong. We just weren’t compatible so it was best if we…moved on?”

Your hand comes up to pat his thigh on top of the blanket, comforting him slightly because you can see how nervous he got. His own hand comes down on top of yours, fingers gently wrapping around it and giving it a squeeze.

“Totally fair,” Chaeyoung finally speaks, “just wanted to make sure you didn’t dump my friend and quickly moved on with Y/N.” Her eyes flicker over to your hands and then up to you with a smile. Jimin cleared his throat beside her, his own hands coming up to rub together to try to clear any awkward tension.

“Okay,” he starts, eyes coming down to look at the plastic bag set by your feet, “please tell me you brought any sort of alcohol.”

You lift your hand off Jungkook’s thigh, leaning forward to rummage through the bottom of your bag and pulling out colorful cans of soju. You wave two of them in your hands in offering, tossing them both to Jimin when he cheers obnoxiously, pulling out another two for you and Jungkook to enjoy.

The four of you crack open the cans, bringing them together in cheers to prepare to down the entire thing as fast as you could before anyone could possibly rat you out. You manage half of it before having to pull back, the carbonation in the drink burning your nose and throat more than the soju in it, “Fuck, why did you get these?” Jimin coughs, fingers coming up to rub at his nose.

“They look like soda cans, I was trying to be inconspicuous.” Jungkook laughs at your pained expression, setting his drink on the floor to get up and grab some of the snacks to make s’mores.

Chaeyoung raises her finished can in the air in victory, licking her lips with a slight grimace, “Done!” She crumples up the can for dramatic effect, you and Jimin staring at her in shock and then looking at each other to see who could finish the rest of their drink faster.

Jimin manages three more gulps until he pulls back again, “Nope,” he coughs, letting out a burp as he pounds onto his chest, “can’t do it.” You finish your own can, tossing it into the second reusable bag you brought thats not being occupied. Chaeyoung jokingly calls Jimin a baby, taking his own can to finish off herself.

When Jungkook returns with his snacks & two metal skewers they fall into their own conversation and Jungkook is thankful because even though Chaeyoung seems okay with him he still feels like if he says the wrong thing she’ll turn and call him a fuck boy or something of that nature.

You reach for a skewer, popping a fluffy marshmallow onto the top of it and leaning forward to reach the fire. He mimics your actions, the both of you giggling when he drops his hand too low and his marshmallow burns a little too hot for a moment.

“Do you like your marshmallows well done?” He asks you as he looks at your fluffy snack hovering over the fire way too low since you were focused on staring at his, a teasing grin on his face, “‘Cause that shit is charred.”

You gasp as you pull back your now black marshmallow, frantically blowing on it when you notice its now entirely burnt and Jungkook cant help but laugh at the frown on your face. He pulls his own perfectly toasted marshmallow up towards your face to mock you, only laughing harder when you bring your own burnt one up beside it to compare them.

“I can still salvage it.” You try to convince yourself, your fingers trying to scrape and pluck away the burnt edges but Jungkook knows as well as you do that it’s beyond repair. While you focus on your failed attempt Jungkook prepares his own s’more, putting two pieces of chocolate around the gooey marshmallow and sandwiching it between the cinnamon crackers.

When he brings it up to your face with a sweet smile the frown on your face deepens at the nice motion, you take a small bite of it and let out a sound of satisfaction when the sweetness hits your tongue, “So good!”

He motions for you to finish it but you just take it from him and force feed it back to him, your hand cupping his cheek to push his lips open and its not until he lets out another laugh that you’re able to pop the rest of the treat into his mouth with no resistance. His cheeks are puffed up and he has a bit of chocolate smeared around his lips, looking absolutely adorable and you really can’t stop yourself from cupping both of his cheeks like an annoying auntie and cooing at him which only makes his cheeks warm up, his mouth coming to life to munch away to get his cheeks to deflate again.

“Cute.”

The following week goes on like normal except for the fact that now you’re slammed with work and school, barely getting a moment to see any of your friends between the chaos of it all. Jungkook has a small moment where he thinks he did something wrong since you seemed to drop off the face of the earth after the bonfire. You had both had a great time, a small buzz coursing through you from the soju and you had convinced him to cram with you on the oversized bean bags to watch the movie playing but your lack of communication even after your shared class has him slightly worried.

He’s currently sat at his desk, fingers tapping on his laptops keyboard as he tried to finish the last 300 words needed for this essay. Taehyung is sat at his own desk and it’s not until he starts to groan and furiously key smash that Jungkook stops what he’s doing to turn around and check on his roommates mental health. “You okay?”

Taehyung groans with his cheek pressed against the buttons on his keyboard, a constant string of the letter f being typed onto his own essay, “Sorry.” He apologizes when he realizes how loud he’s being, “If this is way more information than you were looking for I don’t care, but I haven’t gotten laid in over a week so I’m dying.”

Jungkook just laughs at the vulgar behavior that just comes naturally to Taehyung, until he realizes that his roommates statement of recent celibacy means he hasn’t seen you either. Taehyung lifts his head up, his fingers coming up to scratch as his faded red hair, deciding he should get to work and stop distracting his roommate with information on his personal life.

The tapping continues and Jungkook slides his phone out to send you a text to see if you were doing okay since he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t seen you recently. He sets his phone down after pressing send, letting the screen stay lit up as he goes back to his work, his eyes constantly darting back to check for any sign of life on your end.

When it vibrates against the desk he peers over to read your response, saying that work and school were ending your social life along with a photo of your current view at work being a desktop lined up with photos you were sorting through, a few textbooks to the left of it to show you trying your best to multitask.

Yoongi looks up from his own spot, peering over his computer to watch you stop whatever it is you’re doing to grab your phone the second it vibrates, small giggles leaving your body as you banter back and forth with Jungkook for the remainder of your shift. Yoongi knows you’re a sucker, he’s just waiting for you to realize it too.

It’s not until nearly a week and a half later that you have a minute to spare, your time already being occupied by Taehyung since he had begged and pleaded for you to help him with his hair dilemma. He’s determined to be Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul and desperately needs to bleach out the faded ass red form his hair while also tackling his roots.

You’re sat on his desk chair while he sits on the floor between your legs with a bowl of bleach being held in his hands. You have teeny tiny foils in his hair to focus on the red ends first, your hands coming down to dip the tint brush into the thick bleach to coat onto his hair and then securely fold up the foils. “I really hope this comes out.” You mumble out as you fold up the final piece of foil, placing the brush into the remaining bleach for later.

“Me too, that costume is the only thing holding my life together.”

He reaches over to set the bowl onto the desk beside the two of you, coming back to get comfortable again between your legs, “Whys that?”

He whips around dramatically, an exasperated look on his face, “Whys that?” He mocks, his fingers coming up to grip your thighs, “I haven’t fucked you in ages.” He whines out, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs harder. The foils on his head crinkle as he drops his face onto your stomach and you just roll your eyes at how he’s acting because it’s only been two weeks.

“You have a hand Taehyung.”

“It’s not the same!”

“Wow,” you laugh out, your hand coming up to awkwardly pat his tinfoil head, “I’ve just been overwhelmed with my current work load.” You explain your current situation, how all your professors were assigning massive projects back to back combined with the extra work at your job, it was taking its toll on you. You enjoy your classes and love your new job but you haven’t been able to catch a break lately.

“Let me help you ease your stress.” He mumbles out against the fabric of your shirt, his hands trailing up from their spot on your thighs up towards your center.

“I’m not fucking you while you have that shit in your hair.”

And just like that he deflates, his arms dropping like deadweight as he crumbles back to the floor like a child. “Fine.”

He stays in that same position, letting you pat your hand on his head as you both scrolled through your phones, only standing up after you had applied the bleach to his roots and deemed it ready to wash.

You make your way to the boys restroom, Taehyung shoving his head underneath the weak stream of water coming from the sink as you help him rinse the bleach from his hair. He stays with his head bowed forward, his eyes squeezed shut as you applied the purple toner you had mixed.

When you step away to rinse your hands he stands back up to stare at his reflection in the mirror, the skin around his hairline is red from irritation thanks to the bleach and the toner had turned a very scary shade of purple but he trusts you so he doesn’t panic.

“Just fifteen minutes max and then you’re good to go baby.” His eyes move to stare at you from the reflection, seeing you staring at him with a smile, he looks so cute with his hair balled up on top of his head, his eyes wide and curious.

“Then we can fuck?” Yup, and that cute innocent look is gone, but that tiny smile spreading on his face makes you crack, “Yes Tae, then we can fuck.”

So when the timer goes off Taehyung rips off his clothes, surely staining his shirt with the dye on his head but thats a problem for a later date, the shirt laying forgotten on the floor in the corner as he approaches the showers with his hand wrapped around your arm. “In here?” You shout out, your voice bouncing off the tiled room. It’s currently not occupied but you’re not sure how long that’s gonna last for.

“Why not? I don’t wanna wait any longer.” He shrugs, throwing open the shower curtain and letting out a loud scream when he comes face to face with that cursed skeleton everyone on his floor keeps moving around. You burst into laughter and he joins in, his hand clutching his chest to try to slow his heart beat. “Okay, that one’s occupied.” He closes the curtain and moves to the very last one instead.

You pick up his shirt and ball it up to toss it on the bench in front of the shower stall he chose. Your eyes roam the room again, seeing the coast was clear as Taehyung fidgets with the water temperature. He peeks back out to slip out of his sweats and boxers, wiggling his eyebrows as he kicks them to lay beneath the same bench his shirt was on. Your mind was made up, your hands lifting your shirt up and off of you, sliding down the comfy lounging shorts you have on and Taehyung groans when he notices you don’t have any underwear on.

“You knew this was gonna happen didn’t you?”

You kick your clothing over to join his, “Wishful thinking?” You respond with a smirk, squealing loudly when his arm wraps around your waist to drag you into the awaiting stall.

“Wash that off first!” You warn him, pushing his face away from yours. He sighs and crouches down, tilting his head back so you can help him rinse the toner out of his hair. When he’s all clean you pat his cheek, letting him stand up properly and tower over you. He’s giving you that half smirk, his body backing you up against the shower wall, his back successfully blocking the stream of the shower from you because he knows you’re really not trying to get your hair wet.

“You know, you look kinda hot with silver hair.” His eyebrows raise up at your statement, his head tilting slightly, “Kinda like-” You gasp when his fingers make contact with your waist, starting to trail them down, that teasing smirk still on his face as he waits for you to finish your sentence, “like a real life anime character.”

He hums, “Oh? Does that turn you on?”

You just nod, your teeth chewing on your bottom lip as you stared up at him. When his fingers pass your hips and dip down to part your lips his mouth opens up in fake shock, “Messy baby, you weren’t lying. You’re so wet already.”

The groan you let out hardly gets muffled by the noise of the shower but thats the last of your worries right now, your mind too focused on the feeling of his fingers gathering up your arousal, trailing up and down your slit teasingly, “I can’t help it, it’s been too long.” And he knows this, stepping even closer to lock your lips in a heated kiss, it’s been way too long.

He starts to circle his fingers around your entrance but you shake your head, your lips pulling back from his with a small gasp, “No, just fuck me please.” He rests his forehead against yours, his cock throbbing at how desperate your voice sounds. Something about how eager and hungry you always were for sex fueled him, always kept him wanting more.

“Whatever you want baby.” He plants a small kiss on your forehead as he places his hands on your waist, twirling you around and pressing your chest against the cold tile. Then theres a loud wet smack echoing from his palm connecting against your ass, another squeal being heard as a giggly but hushed sound of his name leaves your lips.

And as Jungkook stands at the sink, washing his hands after using the bathroom, he feels his heart stop. He had walked in a minute or so ago, hearing the sounds of a couple talking with the shower running and he knew they were gonna fuck because thats honestly a common occurrence but he didn’t know it was you.

The tap keeps running, his hands still stuck under it as his neck cranes to look to the far left where the shower section was. He sees the ball of clothes you two must have kicked off to the side. The white shower curtain being short enough to see the two pairs of feet in the shower and the position they were currently in made it glaringly obvious that Taehyung was pounding into you from behind and as if he needed more confirmation, you just moaned out for him to fuck you harder.

It was when another loud smack echoed out, mixed in with a grunt from Taehyung that he decided he needed to get the fuck out of there. So he did, not bothering to wipe his hands dry as he scurried away, his cheeks burning up and a mysterious feeling in his chest that he could feel spreading to the rest of his body. He never let you guys know what he had witnessed, not even when you both walked back into the room with your clothes clinging on to your still damp body.

The next time you see Jungkook is a few days later as you’re about to enter the cafe. You don’t speak to him because you spot him a few feet away, walking out of the arts building and in the direction of the schools cafeteria. It takes you a moment to even realize it’s him because his hair is no longer black and you have an inkling that Taehyung is the one that helped him with this.

You decide you’ll find him after you get your coffee and enter the shop. Instantly you spot Jisoo stood behind the cash register and she looks flustered when you make eye contact. Regardless you walk up to her and order a caramel macchiato, adding an americano to the mix since you plan on seeing Jungkook right after this anyways.

Jisoo raises her eyebrows when you order the americano, no doubt knowing its for Jungkook since thats always been his drink of choice here. “Thank you by the way.” She speaks up after you finish telling her your order.

Her comment catches you off guard, “Thank you for what?”

She scribbles on the cups before handing them off to her coworker to get started on. The cafe doesn’t currently have anyone else waiting to order so she stays at the register to chat. “For helping Jungkook with our date.”

You’re about to play stupid but she raised her hand to stop you, “Look, I know you’re the one who suggested both dates to him so thanks.” You’re stunned to silence, not really sure how you should respond but she keeps talking, “It’s just a shame isn’t it?”

“What is?” Your arms are now crossed defensively across your chest.

“That all boys want to do is get in your pants, no one likes romance anymore. I thought Jungkook was nice, goes to show all men are pigs.”

You don’t know why that irritates you as much as it does but you can’t stop yourself from snapping at her, “I’m sorry what exactly did Jungkook do to you that was so horrible?” That wasn’t the reaction she was hoping for, her eyes widening slightly at the sharp tone in your voice, “Because from what I know he took you on two very nice dates and you were the one that cornered him in your hallway, beyond ready to get into his pants without even speaking to him. Sounds like you’re the pig here Jisoo.”

Her face blanks, obviously not thinking you knew the details of the date. She was expecting to be able to spill whatever fake warning she had been telling all of her friends to stay away from Jungkook. “If he was truly as horrible as you’re making everyone believe he is he would’ve slept with you and left the second he got what he wanted.” At that moment her coworker came up with both drinks in hand and a grimace on his face at the interaction he had witnessed. You gripped them both and thanked him before walking out of there as fast as you could so you wouldn’t do something irrational.

Your face felt red, not from embarrassment but from holding in your anger. Jungkook didn’t deserve to have someone talk about him like this, he wasn’t a pig, he was the furthest from that. He was a very sweet gentleman who went out of his way to be as polite as he could. Jungkook was very much boyfriend material and it wasn’t fair that Jisoo could bad mouth him all she wanted because she was salty about being rejected.

You were marching down your campus, some of your drink was sloshing out of the opening in the lid, splashing onto your hand and burning the fuck out of it but it wasn’t processing in your mind as you entered the cafeteria and hoped Jungkook was still here.

You pause at the entryway to scan the room, it was full at this hour since most students came here after their 6pm class to catch a bite for dinner. Eyes roaming over each table you spot the new half blonde and half red hair that belongs to Jungkook, he’s sat next to two other boys all of them laughing and goofing off with their trays in front of them. And now you’re unsure if you should approach him, his back is towards you but one of his friends glances up and makes eye contact, offering you a weird smile. Jungkook notices and cranes around to see what the hell his friend is staring at, noticing you standing awkwardly with your two cups of coffee. You expect him to just give you a half assed greeting before he turns around but his smile gets bigger and he’s waving you over.

You shyly smile and make your way over, slipping between the occupied tables to sit in the spot beside Jungkook. “I uh, I saw you coming this way so I got you a coffee since you know.” You motion with your hands and he understands, he hadn’t had his favorite coffee in weeks because he had been avoiding the cafe like the plague.

“Thank you.” He accepts the cup and takes a gulp, exaggerating a moan to show how much he missed it. That makes his friends and you laugh as you mumble out a no problem, your hands cupping your own drink. At the thought of coffee he pauses, grabbing his bag and sorting through it to pull out the mug he promised you.

You gasp when he hands it over, its a slightly bumpy jumbo mug that he had glazed in black, the inside of the cup being glazed white with a small bat being put on the bottom. You flipped it over to analyze it some more, your thumb grazing over the engraving of his initials he put underneath it, “Oh my god, its perfect!”

Jungkooks friends see the way his ears redden the second he handed you the gift and they want to tease him but theyre scared of the beating they’ll get when you’re gone.

“It’s big enough for two cups.” It definitely is, it was deep and pretty wide. You would be putting it to use tomorrow when you needed a morning cup at work. Jungkook watches the way you stare at the mug like its your newest prized possession and he smiles, picking up his cup of coffee again to take a sip.

“Jisoos a bitch by the way.” You blurt out before you can help yourself and the entire table stays silent, your eyes wide in shock that you even said anything at all.

He holds the coffee cup by his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and the cutest pout on his lips, “What do you mean?”

You push your cup a little bit away from you, tugging your sweaters sleeves over your palms, “I mean she’s a bitch.” Point blank period. “When I ordered these she tried to take that opportunity to talk shit about you to me, called you a pig or something.” You fake disinterest, “So I went off on her.”

His friends holler at that, no doubt knowing what happened between him and Jisoo, one of them offers you a high five which you awkwardly accept. Jungkook just stares at you, in disbelief that Jisoo was trying to make him look bad to you of all people, but he was even more surprised that you had been so quick to defend him.

“You didn’t have to do that, but…I appreciate it.” You shrug, a small smile on your face which he reciprocates.

“Oh,” he puts the coffee down again and gestures towards his friends, “by the way, Y/N this is Mingyu and Eunwoo.” They greet you respectfully, Mingyu whispering something into Eunwoo’s ear before he nods and they both start snickering and then Jungkooks swiftly kicking one of their shins under the table, causing the cheap thing to shake.

You jump at the action and Jungkook glares at his friends before looking at you, “Sorry, weird spasm. Are you hungry?” He quickly changes the subject, desperately trying to get you away from his friends before they say some shit to embarrass him in front of you because he knows they will. They had been the ones subjected to the endless texts in the group chat where Jungkook went on mini rants that switched from trying to convince himself and his group that he did not have a crush on you to asking them for advice on how to best approach you.

At his question you realize you are in fact hungry so you get up with him and follow him to the food options, his now empty tray in hand, you grab a tray from the stack in the corner as you see what catches your eye. Jungkook reaches for the mozzarella sticks, plopping a good handful onto a plate and setting it on his tray with a smile. You copy his actions and grab another plate, putting a regular cheeseburger on it along with some fries. Since Jungkook had already had a burger before you got here he settles for a few chicken wings instead, grabbing a drink for himself and another for you when you motion that you want the same one.

“I like the hair by the way.” You finally speak when you’re both swiping your student cards.

He picks one hand up to ruffle his freshly dyed hair, the red and blonde strands falling slightly over his eyes, “Thanks, it’s for Halloween. I was just gonna spray paint it but Tae convinced me to dye it.”

Just as you figured, “Who are you going as, Todoroki?”

He nods quickly, his face showing his obvious excitement, “Yes! Thats exactly who I’m supposed to be. Have you thought of your costume yet?”

With both trays in hand you start the walk back to the table, “Yeah not as nerdy as yours and Tae’s but close enough.” You tease him, not aware of the stares Jungkooks friends were currently giving you two, “I’m dressing up as Raven from Teen Titans.”

He gulps at that, Raven’s costume wasn’t down right in your face sexy but something about you being in a tight black leotard with your legs bare and a cape covering you up has Jungkook’s weeb ass sweating.

And he didn’t have to wait long to see it since Halloween landed on the upcoming Saturday. All of you were gathered at Jimin’s apartment, all in full nerd gear with shot glasses in hand. The party was being held at one of his friends places which meant expensive booze and a nice house, a drastic change from the dirty parties at the delta fucking whatevers so needless to say you guys were all pumped.

It was currently 10:30 at night and you were about to order a few ubers to head over, your body was buzzing from the two shots you’ve taken, enough to loosen you up.

Jimin is currently dressed in full Joker attire, the new version, his blonde hair is temporarily dyed green with paste, slicked back off of his face and it kills you that hes able to rock any look. “You’re the bane of my existence.”

He has his hand wrapped around you with a smile, raising his eyebrows and making the painted red ones lift up too, “It’s not my fault I was blessed with beautiful genes.” You just roll your eyes, declining the third shot he hands you and he just shrugs and takes it instead, keeping his arm around you as he grimaces and slams the shot glass down on the counter in front of you two.

Jungkook is sat on the couch in the living room beside Yoongi who’s dressed liked Naruto and you finally realize what a giant bunch of losers you and your friends are. Namjoon is stood over by the record player that has music filling up the room, dressed up as Gudetama in a comfortable looking onesie, beside him is Jin and his girlfriend Arang who are dressed in matching pumpkin costumes looking adorable as ever. Hoseok is stood next to Taehyung by the liquor bottle a few feet away from you and Jimin, dressed like an inmate, a pair of handcuffs wrapped around one single wrist for show.

Your eyes move back to Jungkook, he’s decked out in full Todoroki gear, a blue tracksuit on with the white accents and belt, even similar boots and the damn burn on his face to finish it off. The way hes sat on the couch with his legs spread out is like an open invitation to be sat on, you always forget how buff Jungkook is but seeing his thick muscles pulling the fabric taut around his thighs is making your mouth water.

“I knew it.” Jimin whispers in your ear when he catches you staring at the younger boy.

“What are you talking about?”

“You are into him, Yoongi mentioned it to me and I noticed it a while back but I didn’t believe it.”

You trust Jimin, he’s undoubtedly your best friend but you’re not ready to admit to feelings you aren’t even sure you fully have yet so you shrug indifferently, “Honestly, I’m just admiring his juicy ass thighs.”

He peers over and stares at them as well, humming in appreciation, “Well you’re not wrong.”

Taehyung pours himself another shot, letting it overflow a bit as he watches you and Jimin staring at Jungkook. He has his Kaneki face mask partially tugged down to not interfere with his ability to get hammered so the weird grimace he sports is visible for anyone to see. He got it, Jungkook was attractive and muscular and Taehyung had offered to help dye his hair for his costume in hopes that it would land him a chick tonight so he’d back off of you but his plan seems to be backfiring on him.

Taehyung hates that he feels the jealousy blooming in him when he sees you walk over to Jungkook, offering him a shot with a grin, sitting down beside him and laughing at the way he crinkles his nose. He swears he doesn’t feel jealous because he likes you deeper than the current arrangement you both have, its just that stupid territorial mindset he never fully grew out of taking over. He was currently still sober enough which is why he was trying so hard to squish it down, thats all it was.

He knows if you turned around and decided to stop sleeping with him and moved on to Jungkook for that or even a relationship he wouldn’t fight you on it because you could do whatever you wanted but he was hoping what you two had would have lasted longer than a few months and you wouldn’t be setting your sights on his roommate of all people or at least had the decency to tell him. Its not until Hoseok swats his arm, giving him a weird glare, that he snaps him out of blatantly staring at you and Jungkook.

When the ubers finally come you all split up to make yourselves fit into them, Taehyung lucking out and getting stuck in the uber you, Jungkook, and Jimin were in, leaving you sandwiched between him and Jungkook in the back row while Jimin occupied the passengers seat. Taehyung is tense in his seat and you can feel it, his hands clenched and resting on his lap as he stares out the window, counting down the seconds until you all pull up in front of the giant house party.

“It’s my friend Taemin’s house, he’s honestly probably hammered already.” Jimin says once your whole group is gathered on the front lawn. He takes the lead and walks up the path laid out, opening the door to enter the booming house, loud house music being blasted from the giant speakers in the corners.

“Holy shit.” Namjoon speaks out, his eyes taking in how enormous the house was. The ceilings were stupid high, an expensive looking chandelier being the main focus in the current room but it was clear the home owner didn’t pay it much attention considering the shiny diamonds were currently covered in those fake cobwebs.

“How many people are even here?” Arang speaks up as you all make your way deeper into the house. The place is swarming with people, all in their own costumes and you don’t believe that Taemin even knows everyone here.

“Probably a few hundred people, a thousand if he’s fucking insane.” Jimin laughs, his hand coming up to point across the room as he finally spots Taemin in the second living room area he had. He was sat on the couch, looking pretty drunk but the second he spotted Jimin he sprung up and met him halfway in a clumsy hug.

“Thanks for coming out you guys.” He speaks up like he actually knows who you all are even though you’re all strangers, “Feel free to drink whatever you want, theres no rules just please don’t break my shit. Theres also a costume contest happening at midnight with some cash prizes.” When he finishes his little host speech he bows dramatically before someone else calls out for him and he’s gone.

You and your friends don’t need to be told twice, instantly gravitating towards the drinks to get as drunk as everyone else seemed to already be. The array of pricey liquor has you wanting to cry, you absolutely loved the rich for this reason only. The one thing you’re all good at is getting absolutely sauced so it doesn’t take long for you guys to catch up.

Little by little everyone slowly splitting up when the night progresses, there was too much going on in all the different areas of the house, along with who knows what happening in the backyard but you’re pretty sure theres a pool out there, something you would definitely be avoiding because it was freezing.

Hoseok and you end up together as you usually do, being designated party buddies. You’re stood at the back of a room thats currently having a very drunk karaoke concert going on, a very dramatic rendition of Dont Stop Believing being the song of choice and you’re both clapping your hands anc cheering along when the six foot tall Ash Ketchum goes out of his way to make his own adlibs.

You tell Hoseok you’ll be right back as you venture back out of the room to go grab another mixed drink. On your way there you spot Jungkook sat on the couch beside Namjoon, a very pretty girl stood beside him, trying her best to get his attention but he’s either not interested or completely oblivious to her advances because he brushes her off and starts a conversation with Namjoon instead. You’re pouring your drink into your cup when the girl walks away from him with a roll of her eyes, saying something to her waiting group of friends before they all make their way outside.

Just as you’re about to go over to him Taehyung pops up on your left, slinging his arm over you in the sloppy way that lets you know he’s been throwing back way more shots than you have. “Can I ask you something?” He slurs into your ear, choosing to stand in front of you, putting you between him and the counter behind you.

“Sure.” You say as you take a sip of your strong drink, your eyes looking up at him and seeing them glazed over, a hint of uncertainty in them.

He looks down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you, the three tequila shots he just took minutes ago doing nothing to stop him from squishing down his emotions now, “Are you fucking Jungkook?”

You quickly swallow the liquid in your mouth so you don’t spit it out, your face showing how absurd you think his question is, “What? No?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you, not entirely believing you because of how you two have been acting recently, he sees the way Jungkook acts whenever you text him and he knew you two had started to hang out more on your own. And he would’ve thought it was a normal hang out until Jimin had uploaded a video of the bonfire and he had seen you two making cutesy eyes at each other as you fed him a s’more.

You can see the gears turning in his head but you speak up again before he has a chance to say some stupid shit, “How drunk are you?”

“Drunk enough!” He shouts back and thats confirmation enough for you to know that whatever conversation he thinks he wants to have right now will have to wait.

“Okay you weirdo, get a grip please and back off.” His current attitude was getting on your nerves only because it’s something you’re not used to dealing with when it came to him. Even though you’re half kidding at your statement there’s still some truth to it and he hears it loud and clear, stepping back like a toddler and giving you some space. He mumbles something out about going to find Jimin but you don’t pay it any mind, just nodding along as you drink more of your concoction and go back to join Hoseok in the karaoke room again.

Another hour passes, a few minutes shy of midnight so you know the costume contest will be taking place soon. You and Hoseok have drifted away from each other, him deciding to go join the dance floor at the front of the house where as you find yourself watching an intense game of guitar hero being played. The giant flat screen lets any onlooker clearly see the battle happening and you don’t notice Jungkook beside you until he’s nudging you with his hip, a goofy smile on his face when you stumble over slightly.

“You really suit this character.” He’s standing there with his arms crossed and for one of the first times since you’ve known him he has this very confident aura coming from him. Maybe it’s because he’s had too much to drink to care or maybe it’s because he feels like he’s in his element in this dorky costume but confidence looks good on him.

“Should I just live my entire life as Todoroki then?”

His eyes are glassy from the alcohol and his cheeks are pink but he can tell you’ve had a bit more to drink than him, your tongue becoming too loose to hold anything back, “I definitely wouldn’t mind it.” When he notices your eyes raking up his body and back down, stopping at his thighs once more before looking at his eyes again, he just blushes and chooses to uncross his arms to take a sip of his drink.

He’s been noticing your constant eyeing of his thighs, having caught you staring at them at Jimin’s place earlier tonight, and now that you were drunk you were doing a worse job at trying to play it off. “Has anyone ever told you that your thighs are beautiful?” You finally address it.

Jungkook raises both of his eyebrows, looking down at himself, shifting his weight between both legs and stretching one out. “Can’t say they have.”

“Just wanna bite em…” You mumble under your breath and he chuckles, catching your words but not speaking on it. The shots are definitely seeping further into your blood because your hands are coming up and out, grabbing the meaty skin of his right thigh and he’s yelping from the shock, jumping slightly before balancing out so his drink wouldn’t spill.

You’re grinning sweetly as you give his thigh another quick squeeze and retreat back. You only hum in thought, your mind wondering what they look like under the pants he’s currently wearing. Jungkook is still too caught off guard, any words he wants to say getting stuck in his throat as he observes the room to see if anyone saw that.

The reality of what you just did slowly sinks in and he catches the switch, your eyes sharpening up and you take a very small step back, “Are none of these girls good enough for you?”

“What?”

You nervously swallow more of your drink which probably isn’t wise because look at what you had already done with the alcohol already in your system, “I promised you I’d get you laid by the end of this month and i’ve seen like four girls come up to you and you blew them off.”

That was true, he had done that all night but it had been such an automatic response that he wasn’t sure why he had, something about sleeping with a complete stranger in another strangers home felt wrong. That and the fact that he wanted to sleep with you was also getting in the way, but his inner self currently had that thought in a headlock, a very loose and slowly weakening headlock but a headlock nonetheless, so he was ignoring it.

“They didn’t even know who I’m supposed to be.” He lies as an excuse and it makes you laugh, tipping your cup up and pouring the rest of its contents down your throat.

“Is that you’re only reason?”

He nods stubbornly, sticking with his horrible excuse until it turns around and bites him in the ass. “Well I know who you’re supposed to be, so what does that mean?”

He blanks at that, really not expecting the turn this would take. You watch him, his big doe eyes only getting bigger at your words. He rolls his lips together in thought, his mind sorting through all the appropriate responses he could say. During his distraction he doesn’t notice his inner self releasing the headlock grip he had on his feelings until it’s too late and they’re spilling out into the open.

“It means I wanna fuck you.”

Yeah. That wasn’t what he wanted to say, at all, but his filter had clearly been lost a few shots back and when you don’t immediately slap him he doesn’t think he fucked up entirely.

“You wanna fuck me?” You repeat slowly, stepping closer to him. You had a feeling he did based on that drunk text he had sent you but you had to make sure he really wanted to and this wasn’t just a nervous response. Jimin and Yoongi were right in their observations of both of you, you wanted to sleep with him, you have ever since that night in your room and the realistic dreams involving him haven’t stopped so maybe once you sleep with him everything will mellow out in your brain.

This isn’t a crush, you try to convince yourself, this is just your hormones talking. It’s not your fault that imaginary Jungkook would moan such sweet praises in your ear while you dreamed, thats why you were stuck wearing i’m horny for jungkook glasses, and once you slept with each other all would be fine.

His eyes look around, he could see Tae and Jimin stood near the kitchen, Tae doubling over in laughter at something being said and when you see who he’s looking up it only annoys you. Taehyung didn’t have this claim on you and you knew Jungkook was just worried because he didn’t fully believe no feelings were involved between you and Tae but you were sick of people thinking you belonged to him.

You raise your hand up to cup his cheek, bringing his attention back to you, “I asked you a question Jungkook.”

He looks back over to you, seeing your own eyes staring up at him and he finds himself nodding his head. Sure you both aren’t sober at all and will he be embarrassed about this once he is, probably, but he knows he’ll regret not being completely honest tomorrow morning if he says no.

At his confirmation you smile, you had spotted the staircase nearby, knowing there would be rooms you two could occupy but when you start to tug him in the direction of it he resists.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel right using someone’s room to do this.” Jungkook wasn’t a virgin so you knew he wasn’t wanting this to be a certain way for his first time but he’d only ever been intimate with one person and it hadn’t gone the way he wanted at all so if he didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with you in this house it was fine by you.

“Do you want to go back to mine then?” The urgency that usually came with party hook ups was missing, you didn’t feel rushed to get in a room and tear his clothes off without speaking to each other, he wasn’t just a hook up.

When he nods his head you don’t think twice to pull him in the direction towards the front door, a loud tapping noise stopping you both in your tracks. Everyone stops talking, turning towards the source of the noise and seeing Taemin stood on top of his coffee table with a microphone in hand, his finger tapping the top of it to check it.

“Okay, fuck it works dude!” Jimin shouted out, everyones hands coming up to cover their ears when Taemin just laughs loudly into the mic.

It was time for the costume contest and as much as you wouldn’t mind seeing who won or even potentially winning the cash prize yourself, the thought of finally getting to sleep with Jungkook wins. You look back at him, your eyes asking him if he wants to wait but he shakes his head, his fingers giving your palm another squeeze. You choose not to notify your friends that you were leaving, they were all drunk enough and were already planning on sleeping at Jimin’s after this anyways so you had a few hours before they even noticed you had both disappeared.

Jungkook feels oddly calm, the nerves that had overtaken him when he was in this position the very first time not coming up, even the small sense of uncertainty he felt when it came to Jisoo was gone and he likes it. He likes the feel of your hand in his as you wait for the uber. He likes how you rest your clasped hands on your thigh, your thumb rubbing the back of his palm soothingly and when you finally manage to sneak into your building he likes the way you push him against the elevator wall, your lips slotting between his in the first sign of urgency.

When you lick your way into his mouth he tastes the strong tang of tequila that he’s sure you can taste from him as well but he doesn’t mind it. His hands coming up to wrap around your waist, the thin material of your leotard letting you feel his touch as his fingers dig into your waist to pull you closer to him. You’re on your tip toes and he’s leaning over to match your height, the sound of the elevator ding making you both pull apart with heavy sighs.

You twirl back around, your head peaking out of the elevator to make sure the coast was clear since you technically weren’t allowed to have Jungkook over at this time. Once you saw the hallway was clear you wrapped your hand over his wrist, tugging him to your door in a haste to get out of the open. You make it a few feet when the sound of the bathroom door opening makes you both freeze, Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut as he waits for someone to start to scold you both. You’re waiting for it too, especially when you turn around and spot Jihyo, your RA, standing in the middle of the hallway right in front of the bathroom door.

She’s currently rubbing her eyes, tipsy and in a revealing Sailor Mars costume. When she spots you and Jungkook looking just as tipsy and your lips swollen she just sighs, throwing her head back dramatically, “Go, hurry up and get in your room. I didn’t see anything.” You throw her a thankful look and she just shields her eyes as she makes her way back into her room, you don’t waste anymore time as you slide your key card out of your bra and unlock your room.

“Wait, your roommate.” Jungkook whispers, just now realizing that she existed. He’s stood right on the door’s threshold, refusing to come in until you literally force him, your hand tugging him in. His hands grasp your shoulders to not knock you over from the force of your pull, he finally gets a chance to look around when you flick your light on and he notices Wendy is no where to be found.

“She’s went out of town for Halloween, we’re fine, now please kiss me.” The door shuts behind Jungkook, that answer satisfies him, his hands moving off your shoulders to cup your face and bring you in for another kiss. Your mind feels like its floating as he starts to walk, leading you backwards towards your bed.

Your hands slide up his chest as you make your way to your bed, your fingers clasping the zipper of his costume and tugging it down, revealing his bare skin. He had decided not to wear anything underneath his tracksuit, he always got hot and sweaty when he was drunk so he didn’t want to add more layers than necessary, and luckily it worked in his favor.

Your fingertips leave a hot trail on his skin as you work on getting this article of clothing off of him, his hands coming away from your face as you push the sleeves down his arms, the material falling onto the floor in a heap. His lips never part from yours, his actions getting more confident, his kisses getting more urgent because he can’t seem to get enough of you.

His hands trail up to unclasp the cape around your shoulders, letting the crushed velvet garment join his top on the floor, and then its a race of getting the rest of your clothing off. You pull back from him your lips smacking together one final time when you step back, your eyes finally getting to see him shirtless for the first time.

Is he for real? Was he sculpted by the fucking gods themselves because this wasn’t fair. You always knew Jungkook worked out like a madman but you never expected him to look like this. His chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath, the muscles in his arms rippling as he fidgeted with the stupid belt he had on and when he finally got it off and was able to slide out of his boots and pants your wishes were granted in the form of his thighs.

You had forgotten about sliding out of your leotard and belt, your boots were kicked off to the side but when his thick thighs were exposed you dropped to the floor in front of him. Jungkook wasn’t expecting that, part of him thought you might of passed out or something from how suddenly you collapsed but when your hand come up to trail his thighs he knows you’re fine.

“Are you joking?” You mumble out, your mind acting on it’s own accord, you press open mouth kisses on his thighs, your fingers giving them small squeeze as you kiss your way up to the band of his briefs.

Jungkook had fantasized about this so many times put now that you were sitting right in front of him on your knees, your mouth kissing his dick over the fabric of his briefs, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from blowing his load the second you put it in your mouth.

“Have you ever had a blowjob Kookie?” The nickname is new but he likes it, especially when he sees how you look at him when you say it, your eyes widening slightly when he shakes his head. No he’s never had a blowjob and as much as he wants to experience his first one from you he won’t ever let himself live it down if he cums before he gets a chance to fuck you.

“Can I be honest?” He mumbles out as your fingers slip underneath the band of his briefs, beginning to tug it down slowly, his legs stepping out of the material as it bunches around his ankles.

His cock springs out without the restraint of his briefs and your mouth salivates at the sight of it. Of course Jeon Jungkook would have a beautiful big dick, its veiny with a slight upward curve, the girth of it making you bite your lip in anticipation of it stretching you open. Your eyes move back up to him and you smile gently, “Yeah of course.”

He moves his own hands to cover your smaller ones, his fingers wrapping around your fingertips to lift them off his skin. “Can we…do that next time,” it slips out before he can catch it, indication of this happening again and you take note of it, the lust clouding your mind not being against that happening, “I just really wanna fuck you.” He confesses, his body bending over, his arms hooking under your arms to scoop you up from the floor with ease.

“Yeah,” you breathe out as he stands you up, his hands cupping your cheeks with care, his thumb tracing your skin as he stares down at you, “we can do that next time.”

You reach out and let your hands touch his waist, the feel of his bare skin making you realize he’s the only one naked right now. You turn him around so his back is facing your bed, your hands gently pushing him back onto it.

He catches himself with his palms, sliding back onto your bed until he’s laying against the pillows you have set up. He watches as you reach back to unclasp the ruby belt you have, letting it fall with a clank as you move on to unbutton the top of your leotard, slipping the skin tight fabric off of your body.

Jungkook can feel his dick twitch against his abs at the sight of you, you crawl onto the bed, your fingers trailing up his thighs as you straddle him in a similar way that brings back memories of a few weeks ago. The feeling of you sat on top of him with no barrier is something he never thought he’d experience and when he feels the slick glide of you grinding down on his cock his stomach caves in, a groan leaving his lips. His fingers come up to grip your hips, your own hands wrapping around his neck as you smile down on him.

“Feel good?” You ask him, a tiny gasp escaping you when you repeat your actions and his cock nudges your clit.

His eyes move down to stare at the spot where you connect, seeing how shiny you’re leaving him as your arousal mixes with his precum makes his mouth drop open in awe. “Yeah, feels good.” He whispers out, his hands gripping your skin tighter to make you rut on him faster.

You can see the desperation growing on him, the shy Jungkook you were so accustomed to nowhere to be found as he rolled his hips up to meet your motions, his head dropping back into the pillows with a moan. With his neck wide open you lean forward, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, your teeth gently nipping at his skin, making his hips stutter.

Blame mistake number one on you wanting to see Jungkook fully fall apart underneath you but you’re not thinking too much when you reach down and grasp his cock, letting the tip of it nudge your entrance. You know you’re clean and on birth control and unless he’s been lying to you, you assume he should be clean as well.

His head snaps up at the new sensation, and Jungkook may be inexperienced but he’s not stupid, “Wait–“ You think he’s stopping you because you haven’t pulled out a condom so you pause, giving him a curious look but his mind is too full of want that he doesn’t even process the fact that there isn’t a condom “it’s gonna hurt you.” He wants to finger you, stretch you open and let his fingers explore your body until you falling apart.

“It’s okay, I like that.” You admit, giggling when you see his cheeks flush. You go back to nudging the tip of him into you, the feeling of it breaching your entrance has you moaning and Jungkook drops one hand off your hip to clutch your comforter instead, his fingers clenching around the fabric as your walls wrap around the tip of him.

“Fuck,” you groan out, he was big but the feeling of him stretching you out had another gush of arousal slip out of you, only aiding in letting you slide down another inch or so. Your hands come forward to rest on his stomach as you wait a moment, Jungkook can feel you clenching around the first few inches of him, his eyebrows furrowed together tightly at the feeling of your warmth enveloping him all around.

You relax your muscles, letting the rest of him slide into you, the tip of him just shy of nudging your cervix when you’re fully sat on him. You give him a moment to adjust, waiting until his eyes open up again, “Please move.” He croaks out, his hand coming back up to your hips to get you to do anything because the feeling of you just clenching around him was killing him.

His desperation turns you on and you start to move instantly, grinding on him to let yourself get used to the size of him before you start to lift yourself up, slamming back down, the slap of your skin connecting filling up the dorm room.

As you stare down at him you have to pinch yourself because the visual of him whimpering underneath you is an exact replica of the dreams you’ve been having. A needy Jungkook kneading the flesh of your hips, rutting his own hips up to meet you, his big eyes blown out with lust and adoration in the same damn way you’ve been dreaming about and you know you’re done for.

Jungkook can say the same, the countless times he’s dreamt of you doing this to him has him thinking he’s stuck in a dream, ready to wake up to his roommate tossing a pillow at him but it never comes because you’re actually here. You’re here on top of him, riding him like it’s something you’ve always wanted. His hand trails up from your hip to grasp your bouncing boob, giving it an experimental squeeze, his thumb and index finger tweaking your nipple and enjoying the way you moan from it.

He can feel your arousal dripping down his length every time you lift up, the remnants of it pooling around the base of his cock, he can see it as his eyes are glued to the way your lips part to take his length in. He can feel you start to get tired from the constant motion, your movements slowing down slightly so he takes it upon himself to wrap his arms around you and bring you closer to his chest, successfully flipping you over underneath him.

Your hair fans out around you and you stare up at him in shock, never thinking he’d do something like that but it only lasts a minute before hes sliding back into you. His hands are by your face, caging your body underneath his as he pounds into you.

His jaw is clenched tightly when he feels you wrap your arms around his shoulders, your fingers trying to cling onto his back from the force of his thrusts. “Do you want it harder?” He grunts out, looking down at you to see you nodding frantically, your legs wrapping around his waist to push him deeper into you.

“Please ple–“ you gasp when he slides out before rearing back into you, starting a brutal pace that you didn’t think he was capable of. “Just like that. God Jungkook.” You cry out and he feels his chest fill with pride. You were moaning out his name, he was the one making you feel this way.

You can feel him graze your bundle of nerves every time he thrusts forward, a high pitched moan leaving you and he does another experimental thrust to find the exact spot, angling his hips until you’re gasping and then he’s grinding right into it every time. Determined to get you to cum before him he keeps it up, he can feel his climax creeping in on him, you’re squeezing him so tight its almost impossible to thrust into you but he can tell you’re close when your hand comes down to rub your clit and he almost cums from that sight alone.

Seeing you squirming underneath him as your fingers worked to push yourself over the edge just made him thrust harder into you, a deep groan leaving his mouth when you gasped out, your walls clamping around him even tighter than before as you threw your head back. You had enough sense to clasp a hand over your mouth before you moaned out at as your body twitched from your orgasm, the feeling of Jungkook continuing to pound into you only making more muffled whimpers leave you from the overstimulation.

“Fuck you feel so good.” He mumbles out, his head dropping forward to rest between your neck and shoulder as he starts to rut faster into you. Your toes are curling from the after shocks of your climax, the tingles all over your body being the cause of mistake number two, “Cum inside me Jungkook, please.”

His face lifts back up at your statement, checking to make sure you mean it and when you nod and press your lips against his for another heated kiss he doesn’t hold back. His hips rolling into yours with new found energy, your body being jostled up at his action but you don’t care when all you taste is him, your kisses swallowing the desperate whine that leave him as he nears his end. His thrusts get sloppier until he’s groaning out deeply, his hips stuttering as his cock paints your walls white. You moan again at the feeling of his warm cum inside of you, letting him roll his hips a few more times as you kiss him gently to bring him back down.

His arms fail him, his body flopping on top of you in a heap, his muscles absolutely crushing you but the way he wraps your arms underneath your waist and nuzzles into you makes you forget about your inability to breath. His face is pressed against your neck under your chin, his soft dick is still inside you and he really doesn’t want to pull it out, he’d be perfectly content with going to sleep and waking up in this position.

You keep your legs wrapped around his waist, your fingers gently playing with his damp hair, “I miss your black hair.” You mumble out, breaking the silence that fell over the room.

He hums against your neck, kissing your skin gently in content when you scratch his scalp, “I’ll dye it back for you.”

You don’t know why that statement makes your heart swell but it does, your lips coming down to kiss his hair before laying back down. The both of you catch your breaths like this, Jungkook having his cheek pressed against your skin and you gently massaging his head.

He can feel the sweat on your skin start to get sticky so he decides nows a good time to pull apart, his skin peeling off of you and you’re both grimacing when he finally slides out of you, a small gush of his cum dripping out of your entrance and you squeeze your thighs shut at the feeling.

Jungkook wants to sit there and stare at his cum staining your skin but he can tell you feel icky from your face so he stands up from the bed and looks around your room, spotting your towel by your desk. He picks it up and comes back to you. His fingers gently pry open your thighs as he starts to clean you up, tossing the towel aside and motioning for you to move so you can get comfy in bed.

You shuffle around until you slide your comforter down, letting him adjust himself so you both fit comfortably. The small feelings of being tipsy are gone, your muscles completely relaxed and sleep starts to overtake you as you feel him move behind you, his arm lazily draping over you as you both start to slowly fall asleep.

“You know,” he gently speaks up, “you promised me you’d get me laid by the end of October.”

You hum in acknowledgment, and he’s smirking into your hair, “It’s technically November though so.”

You giggle softly at this, turning around in his grasp to face him, your leg slipping in between his as you get closer, “Oh how could I ever make it up to you for breaking my promise.” He lets out a fake gasp as your sarcastic response, his fingers wasting no time coming up to playfully jab at your sides, succeeded in making you squirm and laugh until his lips are kissing you again, the urgency and heat from before missing but he likes this way better.

He likes the small laughs in between kisses, the shy licks of your tongue and sighs you let out and in that moment Jungkook feels content.

Jungkook doesn’t think of whats going to happen tomorrow morning when you both wake up and the initial lust is gone. He doesn’t think of the conversation that’s gonna have to happen once the sun comes up. No he lets himself enjoy this, lets you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. He’ll worry about that when it comes.

[violetbeachpod]

TRANSCRIPT: 14 - OTHER SIDE

listen here

ANGIE: I don’t know why I agreed to end this.

It feels wrong, like—almost—I don’t know. It feels immoral to just talk about what’s happening and not—not do anything. I mean. We’ve done things, we’ve—we’ve—

[sigh]

People are dead. Not us, not—anyone I’m still close to, uh, in the present moment. But people are dead. I’ve—I went out to get coffee this morning and I saw five bodies—not what killed them, but—five bodies. Some from here, some from the other place. And we’re getting used to it, just—a few weeks into this, and I’m used to it.

One of them taught music at Corelli when I was a kid. I dunno why she’s dead, like—she—

She influenced me so much, and, uh.

Shit.

So. Anyway. I decided, uh, fuck coffee, I’m gonna try and do something. I’m gonna stop the apocalypse. And if you’re hearing me, uh, I guess that I succeeded. Or that I’m dead. But if I failed and I lived, I’ll record a different thing with, uh, something more concrete. Doing it live seemed a bit more badass. So. Cool! You decide which happened; choose your own damn adventure. Also, side-note, those books were absolutely the best, do they make them for college students? Please say yes or, if not, start making them, please.

So. Anyway. I’m in town hall right now. It’s empty, save for a conference room—my dad was on town council, when I was a kid, I know my way around here.

It was—orbs of light that allow transport. I was talking to Robin about her new obsession, all of this—well. We know. Weird occult shit—and she mentioned that light was, uh, powerful. Not evil or good or whatever, she said, uh, don’t be reductive, Angie, haven’t you ever read a book, which proves that, hey, being into the occult and having your wife go missing doesn’t mean a person’s changed completely, huh?

But. Anyway. I’m looking for orbs of light, and I’m listening for static, because those are our two big clues, right? Because, uh. Well. None of us can—

Obviously, Elaine is on the other side.

[beat]

Wait, no, that implies she’s dead. No. She’s—she’s alive, Other Teresa made sure we knew that, but, uh. She’s in that other place. You know, uh.

It’s just—we’re in this whole place of—

There’s no right thing to do, and I hate it! I hate how it went from fun-monster-of-the-week style stuff to feeling like I have to save the universe. And I—I guess that’s where Elaine went wrong, trying to save the universe, but, uh, if we can’t do that, what can we do?

My hands keep shaking. I’m not sure why. I guess—I’m nervous, that’s why, Obvi, but—I’m not normally so shaky. I’m a pretty stable person. Physically, I mean. Not—like, stable’s a tricky word, but that’s not the subject of this paragraph, even.

I just—I’m scared.

Hot take, maybe lukewarm take, but it’s cathartic to say that out loud, that whole I’m scared. I don’t think I’ve said that since sophomore year of high school. I didn’t say it when I should have said it, back when I, uh. Left That One School, but I’m saying it now, and I mean it. I’m scared.

This place is so empty. I don’t know how to deal with it. I can’t stand—I can’t stand quiet, I gotta talk or else I feel like I’m dead. Is that melodramatic? Probably. But that’s me, so. At least I’m self-aware, right? At least, at least, at least.

It’s just—

Okay, so.

I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared. That’ll drown out the silence in a jiff, yeah? Yeah. It will. I tried to be, like, the ultimate epitome of punk rock for years, and here I am, just saying that I’m afraid, and! It feels fine. Love it. Unironically and wholly, I love it.

Oh!

I just saw someone walk by. I couldn’t hear footsteps, couldn’t see a shadow, but it certainly was someone, so that’s noteworthy! That’s—the meeting’s adjourned, or whatever, and. Well. Neat!

No one else has come out of the meeting yet. Just this one person. Woman, forties, tall, thin, pale, uh. Pencil skirt, suit jacket, high heels, you get the gist. Overly tight bun that’s giving me a secondhand headache, like it’s stretching her hair off of her skull. You know the type.

Okay, I’ll be back soon.

[static]

[whispered]

Okay, cool, so, uh. I did get noticed, and I am in a waiting room right now, waiting to be yelled at by a villain, which, in concept, rad, in execution, terrifying and I really might die, so, hey. I’m kind of living my worst life right now. And until now, I thought I was living my middlest life, so, uh, it’s kind of a bummer to realize that I’m a few tiers below that, I guess. Should I try and be jokey, right now? It feels inappropriate—it’s like laughing at a funeral, I guess, kinda normal but weird and frowned upon nonetheless.

It’s not my worst coping mechanism. I’ve done far worse in bad situations. One time I had an anxiety attack at Hershey Park and I just, uh. Stole one of those big-ass carnival game bears, plus the rings from said carnival game, and then I darted back to the car and just left. It was probably the most I ever ran, which, uh, is kinda sad. More than kinda. Very.

Please don’t rat me out to the theme park cops. I was, like, thirteen. They, uh. I haven’t returned to any theme parks since; I skipped a Glee trip in high school because I was afraid.

[a door creaks open]

Oop! Time to die, folks. See y’all on the other side for real this time. Or—

Okay. Here’s what we’re gonna do.

Oh, it’s—it’s my MP3 player. It’s—it’s in my bag, okay?

Hello, ma’am, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

[And we hear a new voice--well. Voices. One layered over the other, but with the same words. Clearly, something is Wrong, but, uh, who knows?]

WOMAN: Who are you? Why are you here?

ANGIE: Well, uh. My name is Angie, I’m—I’m a student at the university, a student activist, actually. And a musician. I have, uh two albums out, if you—no, you’re, you’re shaking your head, I get it. I just wanted to talk to whoever’s in charge, and I’m assuming that that’s you?

WOMAN: I’m sure you can guess.

ANGIE: Oh, wow, so—you’re his daughter, I’m assuming? Wow, I’m—I’m honored, ma’am, that’s very impressive. Well, uh, me and my friends, we’ve been—we’ve been concerned about the events of these last few weeks, uh. Can I call you Andrea? I heard from Mae, your, uh.

WOMAN: Of course you heard from her. She’s my niece. She’s no knowledge of the situation at hand. You know how young people are. Sure, I’m young people myself, but. Hardly.

ANGIE: She’s your—unimportant. I heard from your niece, I guess, that, uh. You don’t intend to hurt any of us, but you genuinely have been, and my friend Elaine is missing, now, and her wife’s really worried, so—

WOMAN: I don’t care about your nonsense. You—leave me. Now. You have no right to be in here, and I do not take well to special guest stars.

ANGIE: Yes, yeah, I get you, I got you, uh. Okay, so, I think I’m just gonna, uh. Hit the road, right, like—um. Can you maybe not banish people to the shadow realm, or whatever? Because, uh. Well. That’s sort of. A bit off, morally speaking. Also, uh—do you guys not have Yu-Gi-Oh over there? Or, like, 4kids? Okay, whatever, you just—

WOMAN: Are you making jokes right now, ma’am? You clearly don’t understand the gravity of the situation, do you?

ANGIE: I joke to cope, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be—to be informal, or anything, I promise, I—I’m just afraid that you’re gonna kill me, maybe, kind of? So, uh. Please chill out.

WOMAN: Leave. Now. Or there’ll be hell to pay. I’m certain you’re aware of this much.

ANGIE: I mean—what are you?

Shit!

[click]

Okay. Okay, I’m back. I’m—I’m okay, I’m back, he, uh. Threw me out. I dunno if it caught any of that, but for lack of maybe being killed and murdered, I’m gonna assume yes, for now, so, uh. Cool. We’re all on the same page, hopefully. And if not, uh, I might not share out of fear of being killed and or murdered.

Okay, so. I think that my arm’s broken? But I’m also very much in shock. Y’know? So. Not really sure how to handle this situation. Does Uber still work? There’s only like, two drivers in town right now, but, uh. I don’t think I can bike back to campus.

So.

[beat]

No, no service.

Damn. Uh. So. I’m in the hall of town hall, trying not to panic, and there’s something in the corner of my eye that I just can’t place. How wild is that, folks? It’s pretty goddamn wild. No need for you to answer, I got you. I got my handle on that one. Can assure you, one hundred percent, that it is pretty goddamn wild right now.

Okay, so, uh. I’m gonna get up, and I’m gonna go. Gonna go back to my dorm, gonna take a nap, and, uh. Pray that this is all a dream. Like I’ve been doing for the past two weeks. You know how it is, right?

Hah. I’m—Uh.

Wow, that’s—

That’s one of the light things, isn’t it.

It’s coming towards me, it’s, uh. Like it’s beaconing me, almost, I wanna walk toward it and touch it, it—it’s doing the walking, though, it’s almost—almost human, but not quite. What a thing it is, huh?

I feel like I—

Look. Teresa survived it. Why can’t I? She’s definitely a little tougher than me, I’ll admit, but. I’m punk rock. And I can admit that I’m scared. Those two things combined mean that nothing can go wrong, right?

And, look, other than you guys—it’s not like folks’ll miss me. And you can still ask Other Teresa about how I’m doing, and—and I’m not gonna die! I’m gonna come back, I promise you, it’ll—I’ll fix everything, and then we can all be happy again, and the world will stop ending, and I won’t have to embarrass myself in front of Anderson Cooper ever again.

That’s a fun line, isn’t it? I’m just—I’m gonna keep recording. Gonna see how long this lasts. Uh.

Okay, let me text Teresa real quick, uh.

My recorder might be in city hall. Period. Not sure. Period. Please pick it up. Period. Be back soon. Period.

I love you. Period.

Heart emoji. Heart emoji. Heart emoji.

Send.

Okay. So, uh. Let’s see if this thing can survive dimensional travel! By this thing, I mean my body and my recorder, thanks. I’m all about entendres. You know me. Okay.

Once more into the breach, I guess. Is that the phrase?

[long static]

Okay. So. Here, uh. Here I am. I’m—I’m okay, I’m alive. And this thing is still on. And I didn’t lose any audi—

OW!

I just tried to dab. My arm is definitely, uh. Super, super broken. Because I’m a dumbass. Oh my God, why did I dab—

The room is empty. It’s—it’s the same room I was just in, but it’s got some different paintings on the walls, a different pattern of tile on the ground. A chandelier, instead of ceiling lights, which, admittedly, is super rad. Very daring choice, aesthetically speaking. And the room is empty. It’s just—completely and totally desolate. Acoustics aren’t so bad aloud, I dunno about recorded, but. It sounds nice to talk. Like—it’s different than it was a moment ago.

I’m sitting on a bench. It’s—cold. To the touch. Got cushions, uh—black ones. Which, again, commitment to an aesthetic. I respect it. Very high school production of the Addams Family, but, hey, it’s commitment.

Uh, shit. Shit.

I’m—the light is gone, which means that I have to find another way out, which means that I have to find a different way out, once all this is over. That should’ve been obvious, but, uh, I was looking out for some kind of good luck. I’m not lucky, usually.

I’m, uh. Here. I’m sitting on this bench, and I’m in another universe.

[laughs]

Holy shit, I’m in another universe. Oh my God, now—Okay, imagine when Teresa put it all together, when she got over here for the first time—she probably kicked her legs in the air like a little kid, so excited and—she’s so great when she’s excited, I—

Oh my God, what if I—what if I can’t see her again—

Oh my God, I made a mistake. I fucked up.

WOMAN: Hello, Miss Thompson. Imagine seeing you here. Can I see what’s in your hand?

[1-975-1975]

an unyielding love

HOLY SHIT THIS IS LONG

It wasn’t the first time that you and Matty hadn’t spoken for a while.  There were times previous to this where you two went on about your lives without talking, without seeing one another, but you didn’t feel as awful about those times that you did now.  Weeks and weeks passed by like absolute torture, like salt being poured into the bleeding, gaping hole that Matty tore into you, misery.  

But you were too stubborn to cave in to him, to be on your phone trying to give him a ring,hopeful that one day you might wake in the middle of the night to a text from him or a missed call.  Hopeful that the night of your fight he would have turned around and came back to you, apologizing, but it never happened.  And it ruined you.  You craved him, his touch, his voice, his taste.  It was an insatiable urge that getting drunk off your ass off cheap bottles of wine or fucking your neighbor’s son could no longer sate.  

Deciding one night you needed fresh air and away from your parents who were driving you mad, you made your way to your brother’s flat he moved into with his girlfriend.  Bridget swinging open the door and pulling you in for a tight squeeze before you could even mutter out a “hello.”  

“Teddy my little doll, I’ve missed you!”  And she’s dragging you by the hand into the flat, empty beer cans scattered around, something smelling of weed and patchouli floating in the air, Pearl Jam playing in the background.  And your brother greets you with another squeeze once you get into the flat, totally blown away when you tell him that you’ve picked up smoking weed, him practically tossing you into the couch and shoving the bong into your hands.  Bridget climbing up over the side of the couch and grabbing at your hair, insistent that you let her plait it because she “can’t believe how long your hair is now and needs to play with it.”  Telling her that you quite like what she’s done with hers, the startings of dreadlocks on her bottom layer of hair, a mix of turquoise and brown beads placed through her long, blonde locks.  Vibrant orange streaks adorning her hair and you tell her that she should put pink in yours sometimes, and she’s too busy plaiting to really hear what you say so she just kind of hums in response as you take a big rip from the bong.

Small talk between the three of you, how’s mum, dad, that boy you’re always with…”Matty was it?”  Your brother fiddling with the cap from his beer bottle, not noticing your head slumping a bit at the mention of Matty’s name until he’s not hearing your voice start rambling on about him.  

“Ooh, trouble in Paradise I take it, T?”  A little chuckle falling from his lips, tossing the cap onto the floor, and you try to keep it together while you tell them both about how you two just ran your course, that’s all.  But you think it might be a mix of the few hits from the bong you’ve had and the disgusting shot of Black Velvet Kenny gave you but you feel yourself start to lose it.  A little tear swelling in the corner of your eye, tiny sniffles that make the both of them look up at you.  But you don’t come clean about the full blown argument you and Matty had, just sat there looking rather pathetic with your head down, tears stinging your already red cheeks.  

Bridget tells you she has just the cure for you, getting up from the couch and walking over to their stereo, fiddling with the stereo, and the music switches from Pearl Jam to Britney Spears in an instant, Kenny rolling his eyes but you giving Bridget a sly smirk, you’re favorite album, Oops!... I Did It Again.  Attempting to dry your tear-matted lashes with the back of your hand.

“We’re still having a party, right T?”  Your brother, yelling over the music from inside the kitchen.  And at first you’re confused as to what he’s talking about, but remembering that your mum and dad have their anniversary coming up, and they always take a trip for a week when each year.  

“That’s perfect, Teddy!”  Bridget bouncing up and down a bit next to you on the couch, giving you a wild look in her eyes, very reminiscent of the hazel that Matty’s eyes are painted with.  “You should invite one of Matty’s mates to the party, make him jealous, yeah?”

Kennedy poking his head out from the kitchen, telling you both you’re right bitches for even thinking that.  And although you couldn’t help but be a bit taken back by Bridget’s suggestion at first, you did admit to her that you thought the drummer in Matty’s band was proper fit and you surely wouldn’t be opposed to him showing up at your party.

“Do it! Shag him, Teddy, hard!”  Shoving your hands of Bridget’s mouth before she could spew anymore vulgarity out of her mouth. 

 And although you didn’t really plan on getting off with George the night of the party, you were hoping that the text you sent inviting him would make it’s way to Matty somehow.  And if it did you knew that Matty would surely come over to throttle you and make a scene about you trying to fuck his best mate, but at least it would give you the chance to have some sort of interaction with Matty.  But George didn’t reply back to you with anything more than a “Thanks, love”, giving you random bouts of anxiety that anytime someone opened the door, it would be Matthew, fucked off and ready to start another argument with you.  Instead it mostly ended up being your brother's friends, giving you eyes as they came in, Kennedy having to make a public service announcement to the whole house that if anyone touched you they would have their fingers plucked off one by one and hands sliced off at the wrist.  

Part way through the night, after two rounds of you failing miserably at beer pong, you became less and less anxious.  Forgetting even what you were so worked up over in the first place, stumbling around your house in a drunken haze, eventually wandering your way up the stairs into the bathroom connected to your room.  Trying to concentrate on your reflection in the mirror, fixing bits of smeared eyeliner, trying to smooth all the frizzy hairs on your head, tiny fits of giggles realizing you were much more drunk than what you thought, having to sit on the side of your tub to stabilize yourself.  And you told yourself repeatedly throughout the night to not pull out your phone while you were drunk, but the urge to check and see if you had a text from him was killing you.  But there was nothing, and your heart sunk just a tad at seeing that.  Wanting so badly to call Matty up and beg for him to come over, tell him you missed him and wanted to see him, but knowing that your fantasies wouldn’t come true.  Matty wanted nothing to do with you.

Pulled from your thoughts when you realize someone is knocking on your bathroom door.  Thinking it was probably Bridget or your brother, yelling at them that there’s a million other bathrooms in the house “So go use one of those.”

“Well, that’s rude, Teddy.”  Deep voice from the other side of the door, soft chuckles between words.  And you kind of recognize the voice, tripping over your feet as you open up the door, brow furrowed, thinking you knew who it was but…

“George!”  Tall frame on the other side of the door, warm eyes looking down on you.  Tossing yourself into him, not able to wrap your arms around his neck because you were well over a foot shorter than him, so you just kind of hold onto his shoulders as he puts his hands on your sides.  

“I didn’t think that you’d show up!”  Excited to see him, trying to not act wrecked but you were failing.

“Of course I was going to show up.  Your house is massive, by the way!”  And you can already smell subtle hints of alcohol on his breath, asking him when he got here and he says he showed up a little over an hour ago, not realizing how long you had actually been in the bathroom for.  And he has this look on his face that’s a little unsure, taking your hand and leading you out of your bathroom, back into your bedroom.  Giggling and staring wide-eyed at him, asking him what’s wrong.

“Matty’s here…”  Not making much eye contact with you.  Wave of nausea flowing over you, feeling like your heart was going to fall out you ass.  “And ehm...he’s brought a girl.”  Buzz you had going on from your drunk almost completely diminishing at his words.  Wanting to rip open your door and run down your stairs to go look, go see what type of girl he had with him this time and watch him do whatever he could to make you crazy, just the thought of him being in your house now with someone else was driving you insane.  Instead, deciding that being in your room was the better option right now.  Quiet, away from everyone else, and even though you had initially texted George to piss Matty off, you were really quite fond of George and happy the he came over.

Trying to play it off like you were upset, shooting George a toothy grin and changing the subject, asking him what record he wants to listen to, name it and you’ll play it.

And his lips turn to a smile asking if you have any Fleetwood Mac, rummaging through your collection, shooting a “duh” over your shoulder at him.  

 Sitting on your bed while George sits on the floor, reassuring him that he could come and sit on the bed with you, giving him a wink.  Telling you he doesn’t mind the view from down here, realizing that your skirt you had on was slowly riding up higher and higher, quickly adjusting it before telling him that he could fuck off.  

And you were fully aware that the two of you were being a bit flirtatious with each other, not sure if it was your state of sobriety that was compelling it, but you two weren’t doing more than sitting, chatting, and discussing music.  Listening to George talk on and on about how he idolized Mick Fleetwood as a drummer, and you admired how passionate he was about music.  Like Matty.  You could see why the two of them were such good friends. Resting your chin in your hand, watching how he would get really invested in a topic then start laughing, eyes crinkling when he smiled, taking hits from the blunt he rolled.  

Getting up and telling him you’d be back, you were going to sneak downstairs and try to get a bottle of whiskey without Matty and his little bird seeing you, George saying he’d go with you.   And in truth, you kind of wanted Matty to see you, wanted him to see that you were still happy and smiling, arm locked with George’s as you two teetered down the stairs together, giggling and trying not to lose your balance.  

Parting from George once you got down the stairs, guiding yourself to the kitchen, holding onto the walls while he went to try and go snag another bit of weed from your brother, wherever he was.  Coming to terms with the fact you might actually not see Matty at all because your house was a tad on the enormous side.  But as you near the kitchen you hear a familiar raspy giggle and your heart starts to crack again.

Matty.

Mentally running through the scene in your head.  How he would look when you saw him, telling yourself to act like he isn’t there, just walk to the counter, grab the whiskey and then go.  But it was hard not to notice him once you walked in, standing in a little circle with a few of your brother’s friends, arm around the waist of some girl you didn’t know.  Sandy brown hair, short, really itchy, ugly looking jumper on.  Matty’s head perking up when you walked in, tightening his grip around the girl’s waist when he saw you.  Keeping your eyes focused on the bottle on the counter, feeling Matty’s gaze burning into you, but you didn’t look at him.  Fingers grasping the bottle, hugging it in your arms and quickly turning out of the room, hearing one of your brother’s mates calling out your name, but it only made you shuffle faster out of the kitchen and back up the stairs into your bedroom.  Locking the door behind you, trying to keep yourself from crying by taking a big swig from the bottle, sting in your throat, sputtering some onto your shirt.  Crawling into your bed and laying your head into your pillow, sniffling, telling yourself not to cry, he’s not worth it.  

Feeling sorry for yourself, playing the imagine of that girl in your mind.  Taller than you, prettier than you, obviously closer to Matty’s age.  Little sting in your chest.  Telling yourself he’s right, you are a child, getting upset over him like this. Feeling the tears dripping down the side of your face onto your pillow.  

And you think that you probably passed out for a little bit, because you woke up to your doorknob jiggling furiously, banging at your door.  

“Stop, stop it.”  Mumbling, barely able to process what was happening, hauling yourself up from the bed and opening the door.  And before you can even open your eyes wide enough to see who it was you feel a hand grab at your shoulder and push you back into your room, a slam of the door behind you.

Matty.

Reeking of booze, pupils blown out.  And you’re still half asleep so you’re not quite sure what’s going on, but Matty’s shouting at you, pushing you further into your room, one arm gripping his shirt to try and keep him from shoving you over and you’re trying to talk over him to get him to stop but he’s not listening.

“Heard you and G were having a nice little party of your own in here, huh, love?  You shag him too?  That’s why you invited him over tonight, right?”  His words coming out like poison shooting into your veins, absolutely livid with you.  Trying to hold him steady, eyes wide with panic, he was obviously high and that was prompting his attack on you.

Backing you into the corner of your room, incessant shouting and you can feel yourself starting to panic even more, lungs feeling like they were going to cave in because you could barely breathe.  You’d never seen him this angry and it was scaring you.  Trying to raise your voice over his but it wasn’t working, wanting to fight back and ask him what he was on about with that girl in the kitchen, but there wasn’t a chance for you to speak.  His voice roaring, calling you a whore, a childish whore like he always knew you were.  Telling you you’re not good for anything but a quick shag and the whole town knew it.  Every lad nearby’s probably already had a taste of you. Feeling the tears starting to brim in your eyes again, Matty’s voice getting louder and louder, and you couldn’t even feel your body react until you felt your hand connect with the side of Matty’s face.  A hard, quick slap, and he shut up quicker than he started screaming at you when he first pushed you into your room.  

Realizing what you had done, rush of pain shooting through your fingers because you did smack him quite hard.  Your hand trembling, his moving up slowly to grab his cheek, face already starting to turn red.  His eyes the size of dinner plates, face totally blank, almost looking more terrifying than he did before.

“Liar.”  A quiet whisper, your voice shaking as you look into his eyes.  

“You’re a liar, Matthew.”  His hand still holding onto his face, but you can see his eyes twitch when he looks into yours, wet with tears, sticking to your long eyelashes.  “You told me that you loved me, and you lied.  And I’ve given you...everything.” 

 Trying to choke back tears but you’re struggling to even formulate sentences at this point.  Telling him that you love him so much, and you would do anything for him, that you don’t ever feel this way about anyone.  Asking him why he’s doing this to you.  Why, if he thinks you’re such a child, did he even make it a point to place himself in your life in the first place?  Your voice raising now, Matty’s eyes still wide staring down at you.  Not saying a word.  

“You’re fucking awful, Matthew.  You don’t care about anyone but yourself, and it kills me, it really does.”  Wiping the tears from your eyes, sobs raking over your body, shaking under Matty’s gaze.  Telling him that he doesn’t get to do this to you, he doesn’t get to be the one to destroy you when you would do anything for him.

And you feel your hand wind up again to give him another slap to his face but he must have snapped back to his senses because his hands fly up to catch yours and push them to the wall behind you, his body flush against yours now.  Thinking it was your body that was trembling, convulsing wildly, but it was Matty’s.  His head slumping forward, falling into the crook of your neck, hands letting go of your wrists and wrapping around you.  His grip was tight on you and you could feel wet heat on your shoulder, he was crying.

And you can barely understand him through his whimpers, inaudible cries, only making out certain parts of his sentences.  Telling you he did lie, he fucked up.  His body going limp, and you can’t support his weight, ending up sliding down the wall onto your floor, your arms gripping his shoulders, holding him.  

Looking up at you, his eyes red, watery, probably about as miserable looking as yours, and he’s struggling to keep his breathing steady, not breaking eye contact with you, hands quivering around you, and he whispers

“I fucking love you, Teddy.”  

Words gushing from his mouth, telling you he’s a fucking idiot, and he didn’t mean to say any of that to you earlier.  

“You’re not a child, you’re amazing and darling, I’m so, so sorry.”

Reaching up, running your thumb over the visible hand print you left on his cheek, and it’s sudden but he closes the gap between you and presses his lips to yours.  Muttering into the kiss over and over that he loves you, he’s in love with you.  Unable to keep the words from flowing out of his mouth.  Sliding your hands around the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair, and pulling him closer to you.  

Peace, finally, his body stops shaking under your touch, hands a bit more steady around you now.  Sweet, tender kisses between the two of you, still clutching onto each other, not ready yet to let go of him, just wanting to live in the feeling of his body pressed to yours, forgetting how terrified you were just minutes ago.  Lips parting, his head resting against yours, whispering again that he loves you, he promises.  

Limbs tangled in your bed, sheets bunched around you, quiet chuckles passing between the two of you, telling Matty that you had forgotten that you had this in the fridge, but you’re glad you remembered before everyone ate it.  

“Yeah, but it’d be much better if the raisins were hot.” Stealing the bite of sticky toffee pudding you were about to shovel into your mouth.  Telling him that raisins are gross no matter what, earning you a little flick to your nose.  Humming to the Fleetwood Mac album that was still playing in the background between bites, content.  Euphoric, sure you both probably looked like hell, Matty’s cheek still puffy from where you hit him, but you were happy, missing the feeling of the boy you loved sitting in your bed next to you.  Telling him you wanted him to stay the night, forcing George to take Matty’s random girl home, deciding it was probably best to not ask him about who she was, just enjoy the scene you two were set in.

Body pressed to yours, warmth, Matty’s arms pulling you into his chest.  His lips by your ear, planting soft kisses to the back of your neck.  

“Teddy, love, I’m well pissed at you for hitting me but you’ve got a damn good arm.”  

Snuggling further into his hold, smiling contentedly, and you giggle a little under your breath and tell him that if he ever brings another girl to your house that you wouldn’t hesitate to throttle him again.  

Soft laughter, a little squeeze to your sides.  And now you’re almost positive, pretty sure, he loves you.

[lexxikitty-blog1]

Kiss the Girl by Melissa Brayden Series: Soho Loft: #1 Read: February 2016 Rating: 4.75 Stars

There are something like a million and one (or 14 to 78) brilliant reviews on GoodReads.  I'm not going to be adding much new to the discussion at this point.

This book is the first book I've read by this author.  I was 'pushed' into reading this book because of a group I am in that is currently running a 'pick it' group challenge.

I had been putting off this book because everyone and their pet donkey just absolutely loves this book.  And I didn't want to go in, after everyone else, pick at it and go . . . you know what?  I don't really like this here.  Yes, I felt self conscious.

The book involves Brooklyn Campbell, Hunter something or other, Samantha, and Mallory who jointly run an advertising agency in New York City.  They meet in college and they are roughly around the age of 28 (though I believe the prologue indicated some were older than Brooklyn).  Brooklyn is the main point of view for this set of friends.  Brooklyn was put up for adoption when she was a baby and went in and out of various foster homes until, at some point, she ended her 'tour' in a group home and aged out of the system at 18.

The second group of people this book involves is Jessica Lennox and . . . um, she's friends with her assistant Brent.  And is friendly her teenage neighbor Ashton.  Lennox is a hard charging head of an advertising agency that she started long ago.  It is also located in New York City.  Lennox is described as being a bitchy, ball busting, 'get my way or I'll cut you' type of person.  Oh, and she might be married to a billionaire who helps her find business.  Most of this is based on rumors and nothing but rumors.  Lennox, though, likes how the rumors help her in business, so does nothing to 'set people right' and 'fix' her image.  I'm using Lennox on purpose, instead of Jessica (or Jess).  Because I'm mostly referring to her business persona. Jessica/Jess, though, is nothing like what others see her as being.  Oh, and Jessica is really really old...er than Brooklyn.  10 years older.  38. Or, in other words, younger than me.

Before I move on - I rather like both Jessica and Brooklyn.

Okay then.  Brooklyn is having a rotten day - pulled over and ticketed for speeding, her car is towed, her heel on her favorite shoes break, and, to top it off, her birth mother has offered contact information through an organization that does stuff like that (Brooklyn had signed up with them when she was 18, i.e., 10 years ago).  Gazing around in despair, she contemplates what to do with herself.  Spots a neat looking place across the street from a print shop (there's a reason why she is there; oh - and the print shop line was super long - to add to her woes).

Brooklyn enters this lovely looking place.  Walks right up to the bar and . . . realizes her purse is in her car (which just got towed away, remember).  She kind of whimpers.

Jessica has had a tough day.  She decides to do two things she rarely ever does - step out earlish from work, and go home.  No the go home isn't the second thing.  The second thing is to step into this neat little bar that is near her home.  As she sits there looking around kind of happy she decided to step in, she spots a rather attractive woman step in.  And overhears her exchange with the bartender (um, I forgot to mention that, Brooklyn's 'realization' about her purse took place out loud).   Jessica offers to pay for Brooklyn's drink.

Brooklyn is reluctant but eventually agrees.  Jessica introduces herself as Jessica . . . Jess.  But without a last name, and makes a game of not saying what her job is (well, one of them do, I forget which one started the game of Brooklyn guessing Jess' job).  Both have a fabulous time.  It ends with Jessica acquiring Brooklyn's number, and giving a brief kiss.  Which expands into a really passionate kiss.  The kind that makes your toes curl and your hair stand up straight (or whatever it is that happens).  They part.

Jessica and Brooklyn meet again, as someone who read the beginning of this review might suspect, when both turn up for an advertising job.  Jessica Lennox is quite well known to Brooklyn's ad agency, but Brooklyn doesn't normally go on calls (and therefore doesn't know what Jessica Lennox, professional ball crusher, looks like).  Plus, Jess never gave her last name.  Jessica leaves a conference room.  Brooklyn spots her. They gaze at each other.  Brooklyn is now flustered and somewhat messes up her first ever attempt to talk to clients in a client meeting.  

Jess texts Brooklyn.  They kind of flirt by text.

The 'Cinderalla kiss' is mentioned by Brooklyn to her coworkers (well, it was mentioned, I forget the sequence now).  The idea of having any kind of relationship, friend/romantic or otherwise, with someone like Jessica Lennox is roundly booed by everyone of Brooklyn's friends.  Brooklyn kind of agrees with them.

Time passes.  The Foster account is fought over by both Brooklyn and Lennox's ad agencies.

Eventually Brooklyn uses that contact number she got for her birth mother.  Eventually her relationship with Jess advances . . . somewhat.  Meanwhile Ashton, the teenage next door neighbor of Jessica's, is having a rotten time with her alcoholic mother - Jessica tries to help.

There's a really intense scene in a stuck elevator between Jessica and Brooklyn (which occurred, I believe, actually before Brooklyn attempts to contact her mother; it's not related, I'm just fixing the chronology I messed up in my review).

At some point, while reading this book, I was seriously contemplating making a brand new shelf.  I would call this shelf something like '6 star books'.  Then put this book on said shelf.  Because this was, in fact, a really really good book.  Until it wasn't.

The 'it wasn't' part occurred when a specific incident occurred.  And I could immediately foretell what would then happen next.  And everything unfolded almost exactly as I thought it would.  About 99.9% exactly like I thought it would.  To be fair, everything that happened?  Did not seem like a contrived little thing to add to the book to add tension/drama/and conflict.  It did, in fact, seem like a natural extension of the book (which is also why I knew immediately what would happen after the fact, and was 99% correct - because everything flowed naturally).  Well damn. I was going to pinpoint the 'incident' at the beginning. Ah well.  It was when Brooklyn visited Jessica.  At her office.  A bag may or may not be involved.  I'm trying to be vague for those who haven't read the book, while giving enough for those who have to know what I'm referring to.  *inserts spoiler tags* <spoiler> (for fuck sake, you have a 'break the tension' group meeting with your friends; it is mentioned that 'business stuff' need to remain secret and . . . . you immediately visit your love interest at their office?  Okay, livable but . . . for no fucking reason I can think of, you give your fucking . . . right *tags inserted*  You leave your bag outside.  With an advertising executive.  For a rival agency.  You are currently in competition with. And you know she isn't the fucking receptionist.  And . . AND . . Jessica's fucking assistant is right there as a potential other person to give the bag too (don't); if you going to do this completely weird ass fucking thing - like bring your fucking back with you into Jessica's place of work (instead of say, leaving it locked tightly and hidden in car), don't fucking leave it outside; why? Why the fuck did she do that? No, I'm serious.  Do people do that? Do they leave their fucking bags with rivals (remember, she fucking knows that's not the receptionist?  Yes?  Well fuck me.  Learn something new every day.  She's visiting a fucking head of a company; what, did she think Jessica worked in a broom closet and therefore there wouldn't be any room for her bag and coat?  No?  Maybe it's some kind of 'oops, I brought my bag with me, I trust this non-receptionist rival advertising person with my bag instead of having it near me while I'm in the room with Jessica' thought process. Why the fuck does she even fucking have her fucking bag up in the receptionist area? SHE FUCKING DRIVES EVERYWHERE.)  Okay, I've moved from 'this is a natural progression' to 'what the fuck did I just read?'</spoiler>

The book was filled with a ton of tension/drama/etc. based on intergroup dynamics involving the Campbell friend group and their reaction to Brooklyn-Jessica link up; the ad agency competition; the drama over the birth family; and, most specifically of importance for a romance - relationship tension (both because of that issue of Brooklyn's friends not liking Jessica; being rivals; Brooklyn having commitment and trust issues; having to take things slow; etc.).  So, tacking on an extra layer, even if a natural development for the book, seemed like a layer too many.

Oh, and, you know (those who have read my reviews before), how I recently made a comment on another book recently read about how it contained that cliche of 'I'm a powerful woman.  I'm giving up control and submitting to another woman.  I think I like it'?  That cliche, once again, turned up in this book.  And yes, it once again pulled me from the story. Though I just kind of laughed and dove back in. See, this was when I still thought of this as a six star book, and that specific scene neither increased nor decreased the overall score given to this book.  (Though, I also admit (did I admit anything previously, dang it, I don't want ot reread my own review), Brayden handled that scene brilliantly).

So, for these and other reasons, I cannot break open a brand new 6 star shelf and shove this book onto it.  Nor, in good conscious can I add this to my super duper and special 5.5 star shelf.  I have currently placed it on no specific star shelf.  Though I've currently rated it 4 stars.  I am contemplating which shelf to add this book to.   3.5? Probably not.  4? Maybe.  4.5? Perhaps.  And, surprising, I know, I still have a strong desire to put this on my five star shelf 

Review Written: February 3 2016