#whatever ill eventually post about them soon (and i mean that!!)

[perryisle]

for that one ask game: 10, 17, 16, 22, 13

answers below cut!!!

10.) if your story is titled, why did you choose that title?

critical damage!! was supposed to be a placeholder name but i got waaaay too attached to it lol. i named it that bc it Sounded Cool (and tbh a lot of the choices i make for crit dmg are just “whatever seems cool”). funniest thing about naming it crit dmg is hearing the words critical damage being said in any other context (like as a video game stat or something) and being reminded of my oc thing :)

17.) describe the "required reading" to understand your vision. be as pretentious as possible.

play/listen to all the stuff i mentioned in that crit dmg inspo post i made (+ read/watch csm cuz thats also very crit dmg-core)

also listen to these three songs too for the complete Critical Damage!! Experience™️

16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

oh man this ones a bit hard to answer!! if all the crit dmg dudes had social media (they most likely do) they’d all have the crit dmg equivalent of like twitter or tiktok or something (the really popular ones basically). but it would be funny if some bystander was liveblogging a fight they’re watching between vinny n mae and some hyperdemon on tumblr dot com

22.) you have been given unlimited funds to make two adaptations of some sort, however you cannot make any other adaptations of any other sort. which two formats do you choose?

if crit dmg wasn’t a hack n slash video game it would definitely be an anime with the same animation style as FLCL or something animated by studio trigger or something lol. if i was still allowed to make a video game of it but specifically not a hack n slash it could be a pretty good rpg

13.) how long have you been working on this project? what has changed from the outset?

ive been working on crit dmg since 2021! ive also had vinny for a little longer (made him 2020 as a stand-alone character). besides from like. redesigns and me getting better at writing.. uriels motives were COMPLETELY different back them (and also very poorly written) and there were two characters part of ENDS that i got rid of in like early 2023 I think? im not gonna talk about them now cuz this post is getting VERY long but i figured they didn’t contribute anything important to the story and decided to scrap them 🤷‍♂️ i might talk more about them in a different post if i feel like it

[retroaria]

hey! I'm not really into nsfw stuff- sooo would you like to do something soft with reo? 😭 like, idk, him as a husband or father so with a family? THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗

✮⋆˙ domestic reo headcanons ✮⋆˙

a/n: this is so brain rotted i can’t even lie i think reo is just so easy to romanticize. pure fluff.

• | BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy !! - aria 💜 | •

✮ I actually love this because i headcanon that reo would be a great dad :D at the very least he’d be extremely supportive of whatever his children wanted to do in their lives. He wouldn’t force them to follow in his footsteps like his father and he’d use whatever devices he could to ensure they can comfortably follow the path they choose.

✮ Would post about all his children’s accomplishments, or if you guys didn’t feel comfortable posting the kids he’d still take any chance to tell everyone about it - even his teammates who literally don’t care that his son got the highest score on the spelling test (they’re happy for him though). He secretly enjoys scrapbooking for his kids but they’re “your books” and he “just helps you with it sometimes”. (he’s the one who took almost all the pictures and saved every piece of paper his kid has ever drawn on)

✮ Reo is a charming husband, so charming and sweet it’s hard to be mad at him. He’s a bit lacking in cleaning/caretaking capabilities when it comes to the home but he puts in the effort??? He tries his best and if he does a bad job he always makes it up to you one way or another. In all honesty, he’s probably already hired people to do that (forgot this man is inheriting a multi millionaire dollar corporation).

✮ Reo is however very good at taking care of children. Once he has a clear grasp of their needs, he finds it to be really enjoyable and fulfilling. He takes a lot of pride in whatever happiness and comfort he can bring to his kids. He hates the sound of his babies crying, not because it’s annoying (though he complains about that too) but because it genuinely hurts his soul. He can be a bit too worrisome about it sometimes - he’s totally the type of person to look up his child’s symptoms and freak out over seeing all the worst case scenarios.

✮ The one thing that reo particularly excels at is taking care of you when you’re sick. He can always tell when you’re not feeling your best and he immediately harps on you. He doesn’t know how to cook very well but he knows how to make a few different kinds of warm foods to fill your stomach and give you a little energy. He’d absolutely refuse to stay away from you (unless it was a seriously contagious illness or if you guys had a baby that could’ve gotten sick). Doesn’t care if you’re sneezing and coughing and wheezing, he wants to feed you and hold you and kiss your hot head until it cools down and everything is better again. His goal is always to make sure you get better as soon as possible and won’t let you do anything but rest and relax until then.

✮ Reo is an incredible gift giver! I’ve certainly mentioned this in another hc post, but he is always out and about buying you little things that remind him of you. If you guys have a kid that’s just more gifts he’ll have to get and the thought of that honestly excites him.

✮ Anything can happen but…reo with a daughter…guys….

✮ he would be the sweetest girl dad! would do everything in his power to make her believe she’s an actual princess and he’s just one of her loyal servants. Spoils her rotten and doesn’t feel bad about it.

✮ You’d have to explain to him how this could negatively affect your daughter and it would break his heart. He’d go into theatrics trying to refute it because “What do you mean I can’t let her have everything she wants?” and “What if she cries? You want me to make my daughter cry?” he gets it eventually, but remains reluctant lol.

✮ He’d love playing sports with his kids. Would try to get them into soccer but if they end up liking another sport he’s still just as hype. Isn’t initially familiar with the concept of letting the kids win but soon realized he has to level with the speed of their little legs.

✮ I don’t have any specific hc’s for him as a boy dad but he’d be just as great of course - he’d make sure his son sees how women should be treated based on how he treats you!

✮ If he could find a way to make you the total world ruler he would because he truly believes you’re the most capable person. He’s the kind of husband who lets you run things for the most part but is always there to step in when you need a break or if you just want him by your side. Would call for an emergency flight back home from whatever country he’s training in just because you said you didn’t wanna go to parent teacher night alone.

✮ He loves doing mundane tasks with you, but always tries to “make it a bit more fun” as he says - which basically means he puts away the clothes you fold while you listen to him crack really bad jokes at you, gossip about his teammates, or try to sing and serenade you with his MANY playlists he’s made dedicated to you. On days you both have nothing going on he follows you around the house like a lost puppy, which is slightly annoying but it also means you have four hands to do stuff because he’s a participator above all else.

✮ Reo always makes sure to show his appreciation for how hard you work whether it’s at your job, taking care of the kids/house, or both. He takes time alone with you very seriously, even as your lives get busier and your family grows he always makes sure there’s time for the two of you to just be together and be in love. Always jokes about how you guys need to keep the romance going. He has small romantic gestures that he indulges you in throughout the day: kissing you on the cheek, brushing your hair out of your face/tying it back for you if you if you need (taking his hair tie out for you to use), hugging you a little tighter just before you get up, running a bath for the both of you, massaging your shoulders while you talk.

to be fully honest with you guys, i have never in my life wanted to have kids so it was a bit hard for me to imagine what being happy with children would be like LMAO but alas i did my best. stay safe and stay cool. - aria :3

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-four

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.5k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: yayyyy omg i didn't mean to wait so long to post this sorry y'all. also i think i have a coryo oneshot on the way soon maybe. unrelated to BOTH of these series, which is unheard of from me lol. oh, and i'm planning a few for this series for once it's done. (which is creeping up on us, somehow)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

"Coryo." Tigris says as he comes back from walking their grandmother back to her room. With the "horrible" news that a District girl would be living with them, she insisted she had to lie down or she may just die.

"She's fine." He waves his cousin off, brushing past her to grab your bag for you. "Just her typical theatrics, she'll love Y/N when she gets to know her. Don't worry."

"It's not grandma'am I'm worried about." She whispers, grabbing his arm to stop him.

"Y/N?" He frowns, pausing and looking at her. "Is she okay? God- I was scared of grandma'am saying something like that to her..."

"She's fine, but you called her 'love', Coryo. In the elevator. Is she your girlfriend now, or something like that?" Tigris asks, looking back down the hall to make sure neither you nor their grandmother were overhearing.

"I mean, kind of? Not really, I don't know." He stammers, avoiding her eyes. "We never talked about it."

"Coryo!" She hisses. "If grandma'am finds out she'll have a heart attack!"

"Okay, then she doesn't have to know yet. As I said, one, we haven't talked about it and two, grandma'am will get used to her eventually and it will be fine."

"I know that." Tigris sighs, taking a step back and rubbing her head. "I'm making up the guest room for her. Just... don't let grandma'am find out."

"Obviously not." He mutters, picking up your bag to carry into the guest room.

"But Coryo-" She stops him in his tracks and he turns, looking at her expectantly. "Don't think I'm not happy for you, okay? She's incredibly sweet. Just... keep it between you guys for now. Be gentle with her."

He nods, giving her a small smile before carrying on down the hall.

When Coryo opens the door to his bedroom, you're sitting in the middle of the floor, leaning over your crossed legs as you write against the floor. "Y/N/N." He laughs slightly, closing the door behind himself. "What are you doing?"

You look up, and can't help but smile when you see him. "Hi." You grin, straightening up and standing, unfinished letter and pencil still in hand. "I was writing a letter to Lennox."

"On the floor?"

"Yes."

"There's a perfectly functional desk right behind you, love." He points as he closes the gap between the two of you.

"Yes, well, I did not want to overstep or seem nosey." You explain, looking at the desk and then back up at him.

He smiles, placing his hands on your waist. "This is my room."

"Exactly."

"What I meant," He chuckles, thumbs running over the sides of your stomach on your top. "Is that you can do whatever you want."

"Oh, well, thank you." You nod, looking down at the bed. "I'm glad to hear that because Tybs has already taken over your bed."

When he follows your eyes to the cat sprawled out on top of his sheets, he laughs. "See? He's already made himself at home."

"I am so sorry, I tried to keep him off. His hair gets on everything." You quickly say, already reaching to pick up your stubborn cat again.

"I have a lint roller." He shrugs, grabbing your wrist to stop you and leaning down to kiss your cheek.

"A lint roller?"

"Oh, love..." He chuckles, crouching down slightly to be able to pull you closer as he lifts you and spins you in a circle.

You laugh, trying not to crush your letter as you hold onto him.

"I can't wait to show you everything. You're going to love it here." He grins, letting you back down onto your feet. "I know you will."

You bite your lip over a fading smile, nodding up at him.

"I know it's scary, I know that." He assures you, once again running his hands up and down the side of your waist. "But you'll get used to it, and you'll be happy here. I promise."

"How are you finding things so far?" Tigris asks, curious as you make eye contact with her while making an extremely conscious effort to not spill the tea from the cup in your hand. It felt so delicate in your hands, and you have never felt filthier- as if just sitting on their couch or touching their things would ruin them. "Not that you've seen much, yet."

"It's..." You start, deciding just to put the steaming tea down so you don't spill it on your lap. "It really is like I've never been here before. Which is nice, because I was scared to come back, if I am being totally honest."

"I can imagine." She nods in understanding.

"When, um, when I was last here," You clear your throat. "We didn't see much of anything. We were always moved in vehicles with no windows except for the funeral, so..."

We.

"You could see some of the city from the zoo, though." Coryo adds.

"I could." You nod, swallowing over the dryness suddenly overbearing in your mouth. "Tigris, Coryo says you're a designer?" Changing the subject was the only thing you could do to help it.

"Yes, well, I'm trying." She laughs.

"My Ma is a seamstress." You tell her. "She's made everythin' I've ever worn." The way your District accent seems to reappear makes Coryo smile to himself- that's who you were at home. He can hear the tension and nerves leaving your tone.

"Really?" She smiles. "That's amazing. I've made much of our clothes, too, but it's just so hard to find the time."

"It is extremely time-consuming." You agree, looking over at Coryo next to you as he pats your shoulder. He points to the tray of snacks Tigris had brought out, and you reach out to take a cookie. You hadn't eaten all day, which was likely contributing to your shakiness. Though, you also hadn't felt hungry at all since you left home.

"Your mother is very talented." Tigris says, taking a sip of her tea and gesturing to the skirt and top you were currently wearing. "Does she embroider too?"

You look down, taking note of the detailing on the trim of your sweater. "Yes. All by hand."

"I've never tried it, I wouldn't know where to start." Tigris laughs.

"Oh, me neither." You laugh slightly, shaking your head. You did know, you weren't as good at it as your ma, but she still put in the effort of teaching you the basics.

"Don't talk too much about this- Tigris will turn you into a human pin cushion." Coryo teases, looking back to the hall to make sure grandma'am hadn't somehow made an early recovery and come out of her room before he can place his arm over your shoulders.

"Oh, hush." She laughs, pretending to throw a cookie at him as you chew slowly on yours, smiling. They remind you of you and Lennox, almost. The way they talk to each other, and how much it's obvious they love each other. Anywhere in Panem, kids are just kids.

The wave of a sick, gut-wrenching feeling hits you so fast that you stand up before you can even think about it. "Would you excuse me?" You mumble, turning and retreating down the hall to look for the bathroom Tigris pointed out earlier without even hearing either of their responses.

By the time you gently close the door and slide the lock shut, you're near hyperventilating. You hadn't even said goodbye to your own brother. You wrote him a note promising to write him every week and call once they had the phone that Coryo left them money for, but it wasn't enough. The idea of him waking to find you just gone, again, was all it took to have you sliding down the wall and curling up with your knees to your chest.

You were alone, and you missed your brother. Your family, the Covey. You should have said a longer goodbye to Lucy Gray, you should have woken Lennox and faced his anger about you leaving because that would mean you could have at least given him a hug. You felt like an awful sister, and an awful friend.

Even as you screw your eyes shut to try and pretend you're in your own bathroom, it doesn't do a thing to hold back the tears that have begun to stream freely down your face.

You have to be quiet.

What helped last time? Last time, you ran over lines. Coryo asked you to talk to him. Coryo was there.

Oh, she tore the letter into a thousand half-pence; railed at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her. 'I measure him,' says she, 'by my own spirit; for I should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I love him, I should.

Thinking about it does very little as well, so you continue. With your forehead pressed to your knees, random lines and quotes flow through your head and are endlessly whispered from your lips. You don't have time to think of anything else.

You were getting better at managing your own panic attacks before Coryo came to Twelve, but since then you had been set back to square one. The games ended over two months ago now, and it still feels like it was only a week ago; the shock had worn off and you felt like you were losing your mind. Other times, other days, you were completely fine. As if none of it had ever happened, but would this move be the beginning of round three? Was this what your life was now? A never-ending cycle of feeling normal followed suddenly by the need to pull yourself up and out of rock bottom?

You didn't know if you could take it.

The nightmares came back day in and day out in that first week. You hadn't slept well, and you only left the apartment a small handful of times and even that was only for the sake of sending letters, getting things for Tybalt, and taking him to the vet.

Coryo really wanted you to get out with him for something you wanted to do or see, but at the same time, he understood why you wouldn't want to leave. When you finally agreed to leave with him, to go to the university campus with him to pick up an application and so he could give you a tour, he felt like a kid on Christmas morning.

"So, we live in The Corso. That main street we were just on, obviously. That's where all the Capitols Elites live, for the most part." Coryo explains, but you're having trouble paying attention. There were just so many people. You'd seen large groups of people before in Twelve, at the market or The Hob or the reaping, but never when everyone looked so different. At the same time, this also made it easier for you to blend in. Hardly anyone had stopped you, and you hoped it would be less and less from here on out. "Hey- you still with me?"

You look up at him, nodding. "Yes, that's lovely."

"You have no idea what I just said, do you?" He laughs, reaching out to gently fix the orange scarf you had draped around your neck and over your head that had begun to slide back over your hair. It was another effort to hide- it made you feel safe. You intended to return the scarf to him, but he insisted you keep it. Suddenly, you went nowhere without it.

"Sorry, it's just... quite loud. There's a lot of people." You explain, and he has to lean down slightly to hear you.

"Yeah, well, it is a Monday morning." He says, tucking his hands into his pockets. "Lots of people going to work."

You just nod, subconsciously drifting closer to his side as you walk.

"I was just saying that this is the route we'll take to get to school." Coryo grins, gently nudging your side.

"If I get accepted."

"You will." He assures you. "I don't doubt it for a minute."

Walking onto what must be the university campus, you already see fewer people. Classes for the fall semester didn't begin for a couple of weeks, Coryo said, so that allowed you to tour the buildings and property peacefully after you picked up your application.

It was another ornate building- outside and in, you realized as Coryo opened the double doors for you. You look around, eyes wide.

"Nice, hey?" He smiles, taking your hand. "Come on, the registrar's office is this way."

You follow him blindly down a few hallways, looking up at the tall ceilings and the paintings and out the windows and even at the architecture of the building itself. It was a lot to take in, but you were pleased it was so quiet. It wouldn't always be like this, and given that you do get accepted the way he promised, you wouldn't have time to process the beauty of it later.

Entering the office behind Coryo, you decide to keep your position mostly behind him as he walks up to the desk. There's not an ounce of hesitation in his gait- or in the smile on his face. He's all confidence. This is him in his natural state- it was nice to see him truly happy.

"Good morning, Mister Snow, what can we do for you? Did you want a paper copy of your schedule?" The woman behind the counter asks him, neatly stacking some papers and placing them down next to some books on her desk.

"Hello," He grins. "I actually was hoping I could get another copy of the application forms."

"Oh? Registration and acceptance closed weeks ago."

"I know that, but..." He steps to the side, nodding for you to join him. Nervously, you do, grabbing his hand under the counter. "This is Y/N, she'd like to apply. I know it's late but she just moved to the city so I was hoping we could work around it."

The woman's eyes widen. "I- Uh, yes, okay. Yes. We can certainly try." She nods quickly. "What program will you be applying for, Miss Y/L/N?" Of course she knew who you were, and maybe now it would benefit you.

You look up at Coryo, but he just nods at you to answer. "Oh, um, English Literature, please." You answer quietly.

"Arts." Coryo corrects you kindly, squeezing your hand and nodding to her.

"Alright, let me just grab those for you." She smiles, heels clicking on the floor as she walks toward a back room.

"And I would like my schedule, if that's possible!" Coryo calls after her and she turns to give him a quick nod before disappearing behind a polished dark-wood door. "English Lit will be your major, love, but you don't need to decide on that yet." He whispers to you.

"Gosh, I'm already embarrassing myself." You laugh slightly.

"No, no you're not. It's a little confusing. I should have told you."

"I didn't know registration was already closed, Coryo." You frown. "If it's inconvenient for them we should just go. I'll just find a job instead."

"Nonsense." He shakes his head. "Like I said, they want you here. They will make it happen, trust me."

"That's not fair though, is it?"

"It's more fair because you couldn't have handed it in on time if you wanted to." He says, dropping your hand in favour of sliding his onto your lower back.

"I suppose..."

"Okay! I've got it here..." The woman reappears and you paint on your smile, reaching out for the small folder as she walks up. "There's the application and some testing questions. If you could get it to us by tomorrow night that would be amazing."

"Yes, of course, I-"

"Tomorrow night?" Coryo asks, eyebrows raised at her. "Miss, respectfully, I worked on my application for weeks, and my tests were conducted by the school."

"You'll do just fine. Just try your best." She winks at you and he purses his lips, displeased that they hardly were even giving you a chance to submit an adequate application that would accurately reflect the extent of your intelligence.

"Thank you." You tell her honestly, clutching the stack of papers to your chest. "I shall have it done tomorrow."

Coryo assumes it must be different- shorter or lacking one (or several) of the essay portions. He grabs his schedule from her with a small smile, nodding before guiding you out of the room.

"Are you hungry or anything, love?" He asks you, sliding his hand up your back to rest between your shoulder blades as you move down the same empty hall. "I could show you around and then we could stop on our way back."

You chew your lip, papers clutched against your chest. "Perhaps you can give me the tour tomorrow when we come back to drop this off?" You ask, looking up at him. "I think it is more important I go home and get this finished, there is no time to waste."

He smiles, leaning over to kiss the crown of your head while you walk. "Yes, of course. Whatever you want."

'The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?'

Staring at the essay question on the page didn't make it any easier to answer. You almost wish you had started with this so you had more time, rather than filling out all the personal information on the first and second pages and the financial information Coryo helped you with.

The answer was painfully obvious. You didn't want to write about the games, how they challenged you both mentally and physically, and what you learned from them. A lot about yourself, very little about the city you now found yourself living in.

Tapping your pen against the desk, you roll over in your mind how you want to word this. It was a delicate line to walk- it had to be honest, but also favourable to the people who lived here.

"Coryo?" You call out, turning in your chair and standing up to head across down the hall to his room.

He had left the door open, laying overtop of his ironed bedsheets and reading one of the many books you brought for him. "Can you come help me, please?"

He smiles, dropping the book immediately. "What do you need?"

"The essay... I don't know what to write." Mostly a lie, you just needed clarification on the best possible route to take the paper.

"What was the question again?" He asks as he gets up.

"What is a challenge I faced, how did it affect me, and what did I learn from it."

"What about the games?" He suggests as he brushes past you, heading into your room as you trail behind.

"Well, yes, but I don't know how to best approach it. I feel like that is a very delicate subject from my perspective." You explain. "I want to be honest but I also want them to like it."

Coryo hums, leaning over your desk to look at what has been completed on the application so far. "That's... yeah that's tough." He agrees. "If you were to answer it fully honestly, no watering it down for them, what would you want to say?"

"That..." You pause, thinking about it for a moment. "That it ruined my life. I'll never be the same person again- and neither will my loved ones, and I learned that my morals crumbled quickly under pressure." And that it's better to die in the games than live to tell the tale.

"Okay, so... it gave you a new outlook on life and a more profound appreciation for the life you had before, and you learned that people can change quickly to adapt and overcome their circumstances," Coryo says, and you frown. "Not that it is necessarily true, but that's what they'd like to hear and you wouldn't be completely lying."

He was good at twisting words and telling people what they wanted to hear in order to get what he needed from them; after all, he'd been doing it his whole life just to stay alive. His future depended on it, but you had never noticed that before. Maybe that came with a Capitol education, 'people pleasing' could be a course they taught at his academy, you wouldn't know. Power is everything here, apparently.

"And... I suppose if I had to think of an honestly good thing, I did make some friends out of it." You say, smiling up at him hopefully.

"And I am so glad," He nods, patting your shoulder. You always tried to look at the bright side- he remembered getting that impression from you even just watching the reaping. "But you can't include that."

"Why not?" You tilt your head at him.

"They won't like it, love. I mean, I would, but unfortunately, it's not for me to read."

"I see. Okay." You nod, biting your tongue. Your priorities had to shift if you wanted to get into the university, and that is a condition you could accept with a bit of practice.

"Want me to stay in here?" Coryo offers. "In case you have more questions?"

"I would like you to stay regardless." You giggle, sliding your arms around his waist to hug him.

"Good." He chuckles. "I didn't want to leave."

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[lanawinterscigarettes]

I see the post about the Master(s) caring for a sick reader and raise you: reader having to care for sick Master(s)

if you think they're a lot to handle before just wait until they have the timelord equivalent of the flu kicking their ass

The reader taking care of the Masters when they're sick

Characters included: Simm, Missy/Gomez, and Dhawan

Warnings: being sick (obviously), pretty sure that's it

Simm! Master

He's not sick, he can't be sick. He's a Timelord, and Timelords don't get sick

That's what he insisted to you over and over again, but it was a bit hard to take him seriously with how nasally and congested he sounded

At first he wants you to leave him alone (because he's not sick, thank you very much) but once it becomes clear whatever he's got isn't going away anytime soon he very begrudingly allows you to care for him

Acts like he wants to be left alone but then whines very loudly if you're gone for too long, so you're basically stuck watching him the entire time

He has terrible manners in general, which are made even worse when he doesn't feel good, so don't expect him to say please or thank you unless you press him for it

Complains about something every two minutes without fail. He's cold, so you get him a blanket. Then he throws it off because he's hot. Then he gets cold again and needs you to tuck him back in

Eventually you get tired of listening to him whine so you put on The Teletubbies in hopes that'll distract him long enough for you to sneak away and get some peace and quiet. When you return a half hour later, he's passed out in bed, sleeping peacefully while the TV continues to play in the background

Missy/Gomez! Master

She would also refuse to believe that she's sick at first, but it takes her much quicker to cave and accept your treatment

Wants to be pampered and treated like the sophisticated Timelady that she is, meaning she fully expects to be waited on hand and foot for the entirety of her illness

Such a drama queen, honestly. You so much as suggest she blow her own nose and she goes on this long rant about how she can't believe you're making her do something while she's sick, and she's much too weak and helpless to care for herself, and don't you love her?

If it works it's only because you want her to shut up (despite how nice her voice sounds, I imagine it must get to be quite tiring to hear her do nothing but whine)

After awhile she gets bored of laying around and doing nothing (despite you being there to take care of her) so she tries to sneak off and cause some trouble, hoping you won't notice

Unfortunately for her, you'd gotten used to hearing her call out your name every couple of minutes and soon grow suspicious when she doesn't. She doesn't make it far before you catch her and usher her back to bed with a firm scolding

Dhawan! Master

Oh boy. Out of the three of them, he is the whiniest, clingiest, and biggest baby yet

As soon as he wakes up and can tell he doesn't feel good, he immediately calls out for you. It could be as minor as a sore throat or the sniffles and he'll act like he's dying

At first he tries to act just as intimidating as he usually is but it doesn't work because a) you don't find him that intimidating in the first place and b) even if you did he's definitely not when he's wrapped up in multiple blankets and cuddling with a stuffed animal

Speaking of which he begs you to cuddle with him, even if it's likely that you'll catch what he has. Honestly, the two of you usually get sick back to back because of how clingy he is: if one of you has something, the other is bound to catch it at some point

He doesn't want to have his every whim catered to in an arrogant way, he's just so pathetic and pitiful when he asks for something that you can't help for feel sorry for him and find it near impossible to say no

Needs to be near you the entire time he's sick. If you disappear even for a second he begins to practically whimper with displeasure, like a small puppy who's been abandoned

End notes: I hope you liked it anon 💗

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

Main masterlist | Doctor Who masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23 @super-just-because

[the-s1lly-corner]

can you make headcanons for all the tadc cast with a reckless reader?

also, have a good day :)

-daz

TADC cast x reckless! reader!

last post for this batch! ill get right back to answering stuff soon! my cinnamon roll dough is almost done with its first rise and ill have to shape them soon! also gotta make the frosting..! short post since the base of one of my thumbs is getting a lil sore idk if its because ive been typing so much these past few days or if i just slept on my hand wrong; maybe both

CAINE:

youre in luck reader! you cant really get hurt in the digital world...! well, not... traditionally.. you can definitely still feel pain, thats for sure, but i dont think your digital body has any bones to break or skin to scrape..! so hey at least you can kind of be as reckless as you want without consequence...! except, there are consequences. caine is not at all happy at your recklessness.. i mean sure yeah some of his IHAs can be more... intense, i mean zooble almost got turned into a gloink, but..! i think he tones down his adventures just so you wont throw yourself into the danger

POMNI:

tries to stop you but her words fall short as you run in yelling into whatever the threat is without a second thought. "i- wait- er..." and youre gone, leaving pomni to hurry and try to catch up with you. she probably has to drag you to safety, assuming this isnt a case where you got all glitched up by an abstracted circus member.. shes gonna have to work herself up to get you to chill out; perhaps ending in a whole emotional thing where she just. explodes? perhaps

RAGATHA:

just because you cant get hurt doesnt mean shes not going to fuss over you. if there were a need for it i think she would keep a pack of Band-Aids on her. however, because you guys cant get hurt in that way, she tries to keep you in bed when you inevitably get knocked a little too hard and need to rest it off. dont even think about trying to get up out of bed, shes going to give you this stern look that only a few percentage of people can muster.

you know the look

the stern one

scolds you too if you get caught up in something real dangerous

only really softens up if you threw yourself in danger for the sake of another person, because i think ragatha would do the same

JAX:

"bet you cant make that jump"

"bet i <> can!"

que you absolutely eating shit after you fail to make that jump, comically flipping over yourself and face planting. you probably have cartoon birds circling around your head. jax laughs at you before eventually coming over to help you up. he will not let you live this kind of stuff, down

KINGER:

he gets so so scared when youre not in his sight, i think if he knew you were willingly throwing yourself into harms way? this man would have a heart attack! like really, or he would if he still had his organs and stuff...if he could he would keep you in his pillow fort with him forever... but he cant, so he has to settle with following you around with meek attempts to try to stop you

ZOOBLE:

zooble would do similar stuff as jax, but when you actually. go to do the dangerous thing they just pull you back. "dude. i wasnt being serious"

bro has to keep you on one of those kid leashes because your first instinct someone says "bet" or "no balls" or anything in that vein, you need to prove yourself

GANGLE:

her comedy mask probably falls off from the sheer shock from how easily you just. launch yourself into things. on one hand she worries for you, but on the other hand she cant help but feel a little jealous; i mean shes just ribbon and a mask, shes not really... tough... strong.. durable... she wants to be able to run around and do the things you do but theres that fear of being immediately broken down or overpowered, you know? didnt mean to get silly there; anyways i think she would try to keep in you bed to sleep off the soreness, like ragatha

[lu-sn]

Gremlin Macau for the prompt ? Or ramble on about Macau? 😬

huh. how the heck did you know i think about macau 24/7 😂

here's a post-canon headcanon for you:

neither vegas nor pete are any good at taking photos. vegas will obediently point a camera in macau's direction whenever macau asks ("uh, yeah, hia, i can and will shove all fifteen of these marshmallows in my mouth, are you doubting me") — but vegas doesn't have the instinct to take photos on his own, and the only selfies he's ever taken are thirst traps and dick pics as part of his ill-advised seduction attempts (not that macau knows this, bless his soul). pete, on the other hand, wasn't allowed a cellphone as a bodyguard, and cellphone technology evolved eight times over during his tenure, so pete can't take a good photo to save his life. stray blurry fingers in the corners of photos, light glare, terrible framing, that sort of thing.

what this means, of course, is that neither vegas nor pete have a ton of great photos of each other.

but macau is a fucking pro at this shit, okay, macau has studied the blade. so macau takes more than enough photos for the three of them, because he's great, and someone needs to document all the shit they do, and hia and phi better be thankful—

and they are. they'll linger over his shoulder as he's going through his photos, and they'll go "macau, that one's really good," and "can you send that to me?" and macau will start to sense a pattern. namely, his brother and his (soon-to-be!) brother-in-law are gross sappy dorks, and are farming him for photos of each other.

so macau, because he's the bestest little brother ever, starts to deliberately sneak shots of each of them to send to the other. totally unprompted, he'll send vegas these stunning candid shots of pete — pete playfully biting into a chicken skewer, pete waving at macau from a distance while leaning casually against their car, pete smiling off into the sunset. and vegas is down bad for these photos, macau sends him one when they're in the same room and gets to hear vegas make the most embarrassing strangled noise when he opens the notification and macau busts a lung laughing at him about it. (vegas does not put him in a headlock over it, because vegas is an addict, and vegas knows better than to piss off his dealer.)

the catch?

the photos that macau is sending to pete, of vegas... are terrible 😂 meme-worthy levels of cringe. vegas caught mid-snore, vegas's face scrunched up mid-blink, blurry chipmunk vegas with his mouth full of some food or the other. macau even manages to get a shot of vegas tripping and almost faceplanting over a loose branch on the sidewalk, and macau and pete cannot stop giggling about it for a straight fifteen minutes. (vegas is extremely suspicious, and also doesn't want to know, thanks very much.) pete eventually starts setting these photos as his phone lock screen and it drives vegas insane, but of course in the end he lets pete do whatever pete wants. of course he has no idea macau is the real culprit. (this con goes on for years.)

(but macau loves his brother too, so every once in a while, he'll do his brother justice. and he'll send something to pete, and he'll see the most gentle smile spread across pete's face, and he'll think, hell yeah. nailed it. best bro award goes to ME.)

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 14

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

While it is an anime-only story, the episode where Yor brings Anya her gym clothes helps establish the current state of Yor's character, since it will be challenged soon. We see how hard she tries to be a supportive wife to Loid and a good mother to Anya. But despite the fact that they show appreciation for what she does and don't harp on her mistakes, her self-doubt makes her continue to be unnecessarily hard on herself.

This helps set the stage for Nightfall's introduction a few episodes later, which brings the first real romantic tension in the series…a tension that will eventually force both Twilight and Yor to take a step forward in their relationship.

When Nightfall first visits the Forgers and initially spends time alone with Yor, Yor is understandably nervous – this is the first person besides Yuri and Franky whom she's had to entertain at the house while keeping up her wife/mother facade (plus Loid isn't there to help her this time).

Twilight's first reaction upon seeing Nightfall in his home is that of concern, since it's unusual for WISE agents to interact with each other without good reason. But when she starts laying on the condescending comments, especially in terms of Yor not doing his errands for him, he becomes irritated. Similar to when Swan was making misogynist comments about Yor during the Eden interview, and Twilight insisted on sticking up for her, he reacts the same here (though he has to be more subtle about it so as not to let on that Fiona is a fellow spy). In both cases, it would have benefited his situation if he placated them, but it seems like he can't hold back whenever Yor is slighted, whether by a stranger or a fellow WISE agent.

The two spies exchange glares, with Nightfall stating that they should review whatever tactics he has going on for the operation, and Twilight retorting that it's not her place to make such a decision.

As Yor prepares their drinks, the meaning of Fiona's last statement – that Loid complains about her at work – starts to sink in. Even though she knew nothing about Fiona prior to that day, her inner insecurities already start creating extreme scenarios in her head. She imagines Loid wanting to take Fiona as his wife instead because he thinks Yor is so useless. And of course, her lacking self-esteem makes her unable to blame him if he really does feel that way.

At this point in the series, she's already stated that she's grateful she married Loid and is happy to be in the Forger family. And while she did have internal conflicts along the way about whether she's fit for the role, this is the first time something external, something she has no control over, is threatening to take her newfound happiness away.

There's no concrete evidence that Loid complaining to Fiona about Yor is a lie, but there's plenty of reason to assume it is. I've discussed about Twilight being a non-judgmental person who never speaks or even thinks ill of others, so I can't imagine him suddenly complaining to a coworker, especially a coworker who's in on his mission. There would also be no reason for him to react the way he did to Nightfall's condescending remarks about Yor if he was in agreement with her.

The insight we get about Nightfall, both from her own inner monologues and from Anya reading her mind (and discovering her unhinged obsession with Twilight), reveals that she would be the exact opposite of Yor in terms of the support she could offer Twilight. All she fantasizes herself doing for him are either related to his work, or the typical wife responsibilities like laundry and cooking…all of which are things he's capable of doing himself, albeit if he had a little more free time. But Twilight had specifically said that he's counting on Yor to be everything that he's not…namely, giving Anya and, though he won't admit it, himself, the affection and emotional support he's not allowed to give. But Nightfall, being a hardened spy like him, can only think of a wife role in "for the mission" terms too, and to her, that means doing all the tedious chores and errands so he doesn't have to. She can't imagine Twilight would actually enjoy doing something "mundane" like walking the dog for example. The kinds of things Nightfall wants to do for him are things a personal assistant would do – complete surface-level fulfillment, but lacking interpersonal, soulful understanding.

@queenofapeacefuldawn describes the contrast between Yor's and Nightfall's relationship with Twilight perfectly in this reblog. To quote:

"…Yor sees him as an actual, flawed human being, and knows that as a person, he needs emotional support too, especially in raising a child, something that Yor relates with. She wants to be there with him, and although their marriage is more of an agreement, (at the beginning, anyway), she wants to be a partner to Loid, for his emotional support, and for Anya's wellbeing.

Meanwhile, Nightfall sees Twilight as a perfect, god-like figure, who can control his emotions easily, and won't need any emotional help. She thinks that all he will need are material comforts, not emotional comfort. In Nightfall's spiel, she never once thinks about Twilight's emotional stance, which is a kind-of implication that she thinks his emotions are secondary— according to her training. She does not intend to— or maybe doesn't even know how to, given her training— provide emotional comfort."

@connoisseursdecomfort also brings up the fact that because Twilight has such a disillusioned view about romantic relationships, it's not possible to win him over by romance alone, which is exactly what Nightfall is trying to do. However, while Yor tries to comfort and help him whenever she can, she also keeps a respectable distance from him and his personal affairs. But probably the most important thing she does in his eyes (and is something he'll tell her in full later) is being a good mother to Anya. Loid never asked that she remain Anya's mother after the interview, yet she chose to anyway, with her upmost sincerity. And despite that, as Connoisseursdecomfort also mentions in her post, Yor never uses Anya as a way of getting closer to Loid. The main strike against Nightfall is not that she sees the role of a wife as more of a servant to Twilight than anything else, but she sees the role of a mother that way as well. As such, unlike Yor, Anya's personal happiness is secondary to how she can become a "stella procuring machine" for the sake of Twilight's mission (even Twilight admits later that Nightfall has no parenting skills).

Nightfall can't imagine that Twilight's happiness could be tied to anything besides the success of his missions, like the happiness of his (fake) daughter for example (ironically, Twilight felt the same way back when he was pressuring Anya to study, until Yor stepped in and made him see things a different way).

As expected, Anya wants nothing to do with such a harsh mother and does what she can in the moment to thwart Fiona – she lovingly nuzzles Yor's lap and says she loves her mama (of course, Yor practically melts at this unexpected show of affection while Twilight is just puzzled). She then goes a step further by saying how lucky she is to have a mama and papa who love each other and how grateful she is to be in the Forger family. After hearing Anya say all this, Yor can't hold back her insecurity any longer – she can't let Anya's happiness in the Forger family be compromised by Loid deciding to marry Fiona because she's so useless (as is typical of her, she thinks of others first and doesn't realize that her own happiness is at stake too). She turns to Loid with a face full of resolve, much to his surprise, and exclaims that she'll try harder to be a better wife.

It's ambiguous as to whether the compliments he proceeds to give her are genuine or not, since Nightfall notes that his smile is fake. However, she also notes that she can see traces of real emotions seeping through. So, as is becoming usual for him, he thinks he's lying, but more truth than not ends up being revealed. Since Nightfall is someone who was not only trained by Twilight, but has "studied" him for a long time and knows all his various fake identities, I think we're meant to trust her assessment of his emotional state (also, as we'll see later on, Twilight's comments about how hard Yor already works and how much Anya loves her are not lies).

When he chases after Nightfall in the rain to give her an umbrella, she flat out tells him that he's gone soft. And once again, just like the times Franky warned him that he shouldn't grow attached to his (fake) family, Twilight doesn't deny the statement at all.

Why would he not deny something so detrimental to his spy profession, especially to a fellow spy? If he was confident he wasn't actually developing feelings for his family, there's no reason for him to not say so and put her mind at ease. So the only other explanation is that, deep down, he is starting to feel attached. But due to his lack of emotional comprehension, he never realized he could ever have such feelings, so when someone points it out, he's at a loss, which causes him to either change the subject or just not say anything, like in this case with Nightfall.

Continue to Part 15 ->

<- Return to Part 13

[obsessedtomone]

Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 6 - The Exposé▸Shigaraki x femReader

Chapter Summary:

◤“Are you serious right now? Me being scared shitless means I’m into him? Did you hit your head on the way here?” you ask, starting to feel actually annoyed.

“But it’s not just that and you know it!” They smack your arm, beautiful eyes boring into yours and peering at your soul. 

Of course it isn’t just that, but you’d never admit you feel anything for this fucked-up asshole to anyone, let alone your own damn self. ◢ Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tags TW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.

AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics

Chapters: One • Two • Three • Four • Five • Six • Seven

Chapter 6 - The Exposé

All the noise, the chatter, the people—they drown out the silence as you sit like a loser in the corner of the busy shop, waiting. 

With your leg bouncing—one of your many nervous tics—you cast an anxious look around you, unable to shake the feeling that everyone is watching you, even off campus. You’re hiding behind the safety of your hood, blankly seeing people going about their day, while you were waiting for Taylor to show.

“Girl, if we’re going to discuss fucked-up shit again, I really need something to sweeten it up” is what they told you over the phone, after your little mental breakdown in the hallway. 

So they picked their favorite—and unfortunately a really fucking popular—bubble tea store in the area, for the both of you to have a talk in. 

You’re torn between periodically checking your watch, your phone, or your surroundings, visibly on edge as you alternate doing so.

Conjuring whatever your therapist—or reddit post—told you to do when you’re having a huge panic attack and you’re not home, you begin taking deep breaths. You focus on the things around you first, the different smells, the people. The wallpaper that's slightly torn, in the corner where you’re sitting. 

You look around, try your goddamn best, and unsurprisingly—it doesn’t fucking work.

It doesn’t, because save for your three different types of anxiety medication you take every day, nothing fucking works. You stopped taking heavy meds after you figured the worst of everything had passed, after life finally became somewhat stable, somewhat bearable.

 So instead, you ride that nauseating wave of anxiety pulsating within you, and wait as patiently as you fucking can for it to just stop.

Shigaraki managed to do a number on you today, because you made sure you took off as soon as he’d left, not having the stomach to bump into more horny, borderline assailant creepy jocks anymore. 

It was more than enough that your phone was blowing up with an incredibly stupid amount of assholes, messaging you, harassing you at regular intervals, and sending you enough dick pics to last you a lifetime. All in the span of a single fucking day.

You wanted to turn your phone off, but unfortunately, it was also the only way to contact Taylor outside the comfort of your PC, so you ended up just muting it, turning the notifications off and sucking it the fuck up until you got home today.

Your friend still had classes that they were eager to skip, in order to hurry and meet with you, but you managed to convince them to stay by compromising—hence your sitting down in an overrated bubble tea store, right in the middle of a crisis.

With a sigh, you sip on your plain black coffee, scrolling through social media and passing as much time as you can before you even have to think about dealing with him. Luckily, it didn’t take more than an hour, and the movement you see from the corner of your eye is a familiar one. 

Taylor is dressed up in a slutty black mesh crop-top and a high-waisted pair of black leggings. A few flashy accessories and a pair of sunglasses sitting snug on top of their head, are complementing their skimpy club outfit nicely.

“You do realize winter starts in like a month, slut?” you ask, a knowing smile playing on your lips, pure relief coating your gaze at the sight of them before you. 

You’re not alone, you’re not alone, you’re not alone.

Not this time.

“Oh yeah? Well how about—you shut the fuck up? It’s fucking winter all year ‘round for you, bitch!” They smile back at you, but a thought seems to cross their mind and their expression slips back into one of concern. “Are you doing okay, babe?”

“I’ll manage. Do you wanna order now, or?”

“It’s fiiine, I can always steal from yours and order later.” They wink at you, yoinking your drink before your very eyes, and you watch in horror as a major crime is about to unfold, right in front of you.

“Hold! Dude, it’s—”

“Eeww! Gross! How can you even drink this shit?!” Your friend basically throws the drink back at you, splashing some on the table and immediately getting back up to order. 

You look at them through half-lidded eyes and speak in a bored tone, “If you would’ve asked first, I could have told you what it was.”

Taylor shows you the bird, mouths a ‘fuck yourself’ and makes their way to the counter to order. “Aaand we don’t know what he’s talking about? Like, at all?” they say, sipping on their milk caramel white tea diabetes and asks you.

“Nooo fucking clue. He kept talking like a goddamn psycho about this ‘pReSeNT’—” you reply, doing air quotes and mocking his stupid fucking voice, “—he’s got for me. I don’t know where, or what it is. Half expecting to find a dead body in front of my place today, tbh.”

“Hmm, guess we’ll have to wait and find out. Sucks, but there’s not much we can do, babe.”

Then, your friend starts eyeing you curiously, seemingly weighing something in their mind. You roll your eyes. 

“Shoot. You’re not done.”

As if possessed, Taylor instantly lights up and throws a series of incredibly inadequate questions at you.

“Okay, okay, so—what did he smell like? Everyone says he looks like he doesn’t shower, and wears the same clothes all the time! Is it true? I’ve only seen him from a distance. And, and, oh! Do you think he’s interested in you? There’s no way he’s not, right? I mean he was fucking with you, but I’ve never heard of him interacting with anyone like that—getting all close and personaaal, pinning them to the freaking wall! Two times?! C’mon!” They go off, giggling, as if Shigaraki was truly just a misunderstood guy, a hopeless romantic, and not a rich psychopath who gets off on breaking people's bones and making girls cry.

If your friend notices the blatant shock on your face, they don’t react to it.

“So, I have a theory, okaaay? I think… that he kind of likes you? I mean I heard he’s beaten the shit out of female students before, for literally less than the shit you pulled, so he’s definitely cutting you slack. Oh, right! How come you didn’t pepper spray his ass? You never hesitated before.” A snicker escapes them when they can’t help but imagine it. “Bet it would’ve been so fucking funny to blind Shigaraki Tomura! He’d literally fucking kill you. Gasp! Do you think he’d screech?!”

You sigh, shaking your head and looking out of the window. “I fucking can’t with you.”

“Well?” They cast an expectant glance in your direction, waiting for you to respond until a frustrated exhale escapes your lips.

“Fuck, okay. You’re lucky I’m short on friends,” you say, as if you had any friends at all, and your gaze turns into a playfully irritated one, making them wiggle their perfectly-shaped tattooed eyebrows at you. “First of all, you have to stop humanizing him. He’s literally just a psycho.”

“A psycho you’re into,” they shamelessly add, batting their fake eyelashes innocently. You blink at them, taken aback by their audacity. “C’moon, all these years I’ve known you and this guy is the first who’s doing a number on you? Just look at you! You’re not acting like yourself! Be fucking for real, girl.”

“Are you serious right now? Me being scared shitless means I’m into him? Did you hit your head on the way here?” you ask, starting to feel actually annoyed.

“But it’s not just that and you know it!” They smack your arm, beautiful eyes boring into yours and peering at your soul. 

Of course it isn’t just that, but you’d never admit you feel anything for this fucked-up asshole to anyone, let alone your own damn self.

“Listen, you can lie to yourself as much as you want, babe, but I’ve been around for way too fucking long for you to be able to hide that shit from me. Just sayin’.”

You roll your eyes and click your tongue.

“Whatever, you asshole.” 

Taking a sip of your bitter drink, you start mentally preparing yourself to entertain your crazy bitch of a friend. They nod excitedly, waiting for you to continue. 

It’s like they completely forgot the entire reason you’re here right now, but you brush it off because this is nothing new to you. You’ve known them long enough to know that, despite their perfect popular appearance, they still have flaws. Major flaws. And frankly it didn’t bother you. 

“Dunno. I don’t think he doesn’t shower—and who the fuck cares if he wears the same clothes everyday? I do too? Are people seriously that fucking shallow?” you ask, brow furrowing at the nasty shit that Taylor and their peers seem to talk behind his back. “He smells fine. No B.O, just cigs and uh… cologne, maybe.” 

You leave out the part where you don’t think you’ve smelled any sort of perfume on him before today, looking warily at your friend, who’s toying with the rim of their cup, using the tips of their forty dollar acrylic nails. 

“And how the fuck should I know if he’s into me? He’s fucking weird all the time. His eyes are—when he looks at me… I don’t know. It’s intense. Like that bastard already knows everything about you and still expects you to disappoint him in some way. It’s really fucking weird, I’ve never met anyone like that before, so he is special, alright,” you scoff before continuing, “Also, kind of fucked that you believe some rumors and parrot the same shit your friends say. You literally said you don’t know him personally, and I bet none of your fake ass friends know him either.”

You shouldn’t defend him. You know you shouldn’t defend him, but you can’t fucking help it when you’ve been through the same shit your whole life. People just like to say things, and maybe some of the things they’ve said are true, but—

“What? Bitch I literally know someone who just looked at him wrong, and came back the next day with a broken arm and his dad losing his job. Don’t give me that.”

“Oh? Looked at him wrong, huh? He for sure didn’t say he looked weird, called his outfit shit, or made fun of his scars and skin problems, right? No way he’d said something disrespectful to his face, like the fact that he maybe doesn’t shower. The fuck you on? I’ve seen the way people look at him at school.”

Taylor narrows their eyes at you, scoffs and looks away. 

A pang of anxiety replaces your irritation and you’re about to try to smooth things over, when they finally reply.

“Okay, fine. The guy thought it would be funny to steal his watch and prove he can get away with it. He lied to us too, by the way. But it’s not like he didn’t fuck with you too! He’s literally pushed you and invaded your privacy, threatened you and acted like a creep! And god knows what he was referring to earlier!” They fold their arms defensively.

Your friend is right, he does seem like an unpredictable individual, and you shouldn’t defend him over them. After all, you still haven’t told them about the ugly bruises. 

“Sorry,” they begin, a remorseful look on their face and your eyes widened. “I shouldn’t have said all that. I know people acted like shit around you too in highschool. Still think that you should be careful, though. He’s violent and scary and I know I was messing around earlier, saying he’s interested in you, but I said that because no one has seen him with anyone on campus. Not unless they got into a fight. He’s acting super weird around you.”

You glance at the (now cold) drink in your hands and your shoulders slump forward. “It’s fine. I’m… sensitive because he’s scared me, and it pisses me off how weak I am. I thought I got over most of my mommy and daddy issues, but it only took a bigger asshole to bring them out of me again.” 

Honestly, you wish you had the courage to beat his ass even if it meant he’d be beating yours in return. That way it would at least feel like you’ve tried.

“Honey, no. No, no, no. You’re not weak.” Taylor replies, your eyes becoming wet as they take your hands in theirs and their soft voice melts your heart. “You’re like, the strongest bitch that I know.”

“Shut up.” You look away, frowning with a blurry vision, as your tears threaten to spill over.

They squeeze your hands softly, expression full of understanding. “I’m serious. We’ll figure this whole thing out, okay? Sorry for being nosey, that was really fucked of me.”

“It’s fine, that’s not the issue. I’m just really tired, I think.”

It’s definitely not fine, but you know they mean well.

Your thoughts were running at a hundred miles per hour now, exhaustion catching up with your foggy brain.

─────────

Click —

You unlock the door to your apartment and look around to see if anything’s out of place. Maybe even for a dead body that wasn’t so out of the question anymore.

You double and triple check, going into every room two or three times. Everything’s where it’s supposed to be, and no one seems to have broken into your apartment yet.

If you somehow went back to the version you were this morning, you’d find the way you act right now to be kind of silly.

You were not, though, not anymore, and you know better now. After a well deserved warm shower, you sit down on your cheap thirty-dollar IKEA chair and boot your PC up. You decide that for the next few hours, gaming will be your best coping mechanism for all the stress you’ve gone through today, while you sit around, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

You only manage to get through a couple of hours though, watching the timer of your League queue go up when your phone goes off. After pushing one side of your headset off of your right ear, you pick up.

“Yeah? I thought I saw you like five minutes ago, did you really miss me that much?” you joke, but it falls super flat when you hear Taylor exhale your name shakily. 

Alarms were suddenly going off in your head.

“What? What’s wrong? Are you okay?!”

Did he do something to them?!

“H-Hey, um. C-Can you check—S-Sorry, it’s really hard to speak right now,” they choke up.

Your own voice starts shaking and you frown at your white walls. “That’s okay, it’s okay. T-Take your time, I’m here. I’m listening. Should I come over?” 

“N-No, hold on. Okay.” They take a deep breath before going on, “Do you remember t-that social media platform for college kids in our city? The popular one. T-The one where I hooked up with that douchebag who asked me to peg him, five minutes into our date?” Taylor took a pause and sniffled. “You didn’t wanna make an account because it was ‘normie shit’ and ‘a waste of time’, r-remember?”

“Yes? Taylor, what the fuck’s happening? Get to the point, please.”

“W-Well, I’ll send you my login info now, and you can c-check it yourself, hold on.”

You hear plastic nails tapping in quick succession on what you assumed was the screen of their phone.

“Can you tell me alread—”

“Hold on! Y-You have to see this, I—I really can’t,” they say, sniffling again and your brows pinching even more.

While waiting, your leg once again starts bouncing anxiously and your phone finally gets pinged. You put your friend on speaker, quickly typing in the address and login on your PC.

“So? What am I supposed to see?”

“J-Just keep scrolling, you’ll find it. I’m so fucking sorry, honey. We’ll go to the dean’s office, or the police… w-we’ll—fuck—we’ll get this sorted out, okay?” your friend attempts to reassure you, but they sounded like they needed it more right now.

You scroll for a while, still having no clue about what you’re supposed to find, listening to Taylor mumble some more and scrolling through random post after random post of annoying frat guys your friend follows, exes, friends, etcetera.

“I still don’t know what I’m supposed to—”

Until your eyes zone in on it, your first and last name displayed at the top of the post. [ Hiiii everyone!!! I’m the hot emo chick in your computer science class at Weston NexTech! ]

* Click Image Attachment

You swallow emptily, clicking on the first attachment.

Dread fills your lungs and suddenly—you’re unable to breathe.

What greets you is your barely legal self. Staring back at you. 

It’s a selfie—your selfie—arm hooked under one of your legs, and pulling it upwards, while you use your other to raise the strap of your thong, teasing the viewer… your ‘boyfriend’ at the time. 

It all clicks at once and you immediately understand what this is—

Revenge porn.

[ So, I bet that got your attention, right? Hehe! You better read closely now! 

I’m making a post here because I’m suuuuper fucking bored, 

and I was hoping you guys could cheer me up! :3 ]

* Click Image Attachment

“Babe? Y-You okay?”

“Hold on,” you reply snappily, feeling the tips of your digits turning painfully cold.

Your bare ass is on display in the second image, bent over the bed and looking back at the camera. Your stomach twists with heavy nausea.

You remember these pictures.

[ I’ve never done this before, but I looove attention <3 and 

since you guys have got nothing to lose, we should all play

a game, okay?! Yaay! 

I’ve always been shy and I thought it 

would be fun to get to know everyone before

I graduate, so this little honor student 

is going to cut you a deal, yeah? ]

* Click Image Attachment

You thought that maybe Taylor hung up on you, but in reality you just stopped being able to hear anything.

With your heart pounding wildly, you glance at the engagement and notice there are about two thousand people who’d liked the fucking thread. 

Two whole thousands, and the thread doesn’t even fucking end there.

[ At the bottom of the thread you can find my email

and phone number! :D

And who knows, if it’s going really well, maybe I’ll even invite you over to my place!!!

Or depending on how this goes, I could share my 

address with everyone! Wouldn’t that be fun? ]

* Click Image Attachment

Suddenly, a lot of today’s events start making sense to you. 

The random phone calls, the spam emails, the people looking at you funny and jocks almost sexually assaulting you on the way to class.

[ You better hurry now, before it’s too late

and I change my mind! Hehe! 

I’ll be posting new clips every Tuesday, at 11 PM, 

make sure to watch them all!

So please, please, please! Text me, call me, or

hit me up IRL! I’d like to get to know as many of you hotties as I can <3

Keep in mind that I’m shy and I like assertive guys, 

so don’t worry if I say no! I really, really like rough roleplay 

as you can see below!

Till next Tuesday and thank you for the likes!!! <3 ] 

* Play video

You must’ve shifted realities, because your body stopped feeling like your own. 

Why were you here again?

Ah, because you decided to cut Shigaraki out of your project.

Or maybe because he’d asked to play with you and you were too stunned to respond to him.

Would you have played with him if the stun wore off that time, if he’d asked again? Probably not.

So then, you’re here because the two of you met at the convenience store, way back.

What had you said to him that day? Couldn’t you have just gotten out of the way like a normal human being? But he wasn’t mad the next day when he’d met you in class.

That means you must have fucked up badly, multiple times, right?

This is your fault. It’s always your fault.

But there’s no time for that, because you partially tune into reality again, and now you can hear Taylor crying softly on the speaker of your phone.

With a shaky grip on your mouse, you press play on the clip and the first noise you hear is your dealer fumbling with the camera, trying to set it up.

It’s been years. 

This was a different time of your life, one that you’d like so desperately to erase from your brain, from your history.

You were high, and not on life, no.

You’re high on something crazy, like heroin. It was one of the first videos too, you remember. You can tell by the amount of scars and bruises you can see on yourself. And you’d let your dealer… your sort-of-ex, take pictures of your body as another form of payment, after sexual favors became too boring for him. 

But it didn’t stop at that. 

No, that was only the start. He’d started recording videos of the two of you fucking—really low quality amateur pornos—and then, as the months passed, he’d realized he could talk you into trying pretty much anything if he dangled the right prizes in front of your eyes. 

You were way younger, really fucking stupid, always under the influence, with no safety-net and constantly daring life over and over to really mess you up. It meant you didn’t give a fuck about your situation, of some insignificant videos or pictures… at least at first.

If anything you used to like the attention from him. 

From anyone.

But that all had changed, once you started cleaning up your act, once you were able to become confident again. You made him delete all of them, you really did, but the bastard must have had backups, something that did cross your mind at the time, but you thought—hoped—that he at least wouldn’t share them with anyone. He was a coward and a criminal after all. One that you had a lot of dirt on, in case he decided to fuck you over. 

It should’ve been fine, you should’ve been safe.

Unless someone like Shigaraki managed to get a hold of him, threatening or paying him off to get what he wanted. Yeah, that must’ve been it.

But you haven’t gotten the slightest clue as to how he put two and two together to find your ex. You’d almost completely changed your identity since. 

However, that must not matter for someone of Shigaraki’s caliber, because you’re now staring at the evidence that more than half of your university has had access to.

“Taylor,” you say in a monotone voice, a quiet tear escaping you.

“Y-Yes? Hun, I’m s-sorry. I’m r-really so-rry.”

Pain thrums through your cells and your chest hurts. You don’t know how to comfort them.

You don’t know how to comfort your fucking self.

“It’s… not the full video. He’s—he’s splitting it into parts. He’s planning to fuck with me by posting them week by week before class, so that he’ll be able to gauge my reaction. Like an actual psychopath.”

Your eyes glide over the thread quickly once more. Then, again. Reading it over and over.

Ah, he’s insane. Completely, utterly, off-his-fucking-medication insane. 

You thought maybe your stupid fucking brain was playing tricks on you but no.

He’d left you a message. In the thread.

He’d actually left you a message.

You open notepad on your PC and write it down, side by side.

[ I bet that got your attention, right?—You better read closely now—I have got nothing to lose—We should play a game—I’m going to cut you a deal—It’s over—Depending on how this goes—I’ll share your address with everyone—You better hurry now, before it’s too late and I change my mind ]

You lose. Game over

Taylor is calling your name. You blink. Twice.

“W-We can go to the dean, right? T-They should understand. W-We’ll go together and—”

“No,” you interrupt, a feeling of numbness washing over you. “I’m not sure they’ll believe me. Plus his dad’s a big shot.”

“Please, we can—we can go to the police! He—He can’t get away with this!”

“It’s fine. I’m hanging up, okay? I’ll try calling him and if that doesn’t work then… I don’t know. I’ll just try calling him.”

“What? No! Don’t! We need the police—please, please, let’s go to the police!”

“You know I can’t do that, Tay. I’ll talk to you later. It’ll be fine,” you lie, cutting them off and hanging up.

Your hands are shaking, as you stare at his name in your contacts list.

‘You lose’ he’d said. ‘Game over’

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay, you chant in your head. You’ll be okay, you’ve been through worse, you’ll be okay.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring—

“Yeah?” a hoarse voice replies with a curse under his breath, seemingly distracted, as sounds of a mechanical keyboard bleed through the phone speakers and up against your ear.

“It’s… It’s me.”

Then there was silence.

Until you hear a strange sound. It takes you a good second to realize that he’s fucking giggling.

“Uh-huuuh. What did you want? I’m busy,” he says while your hearing attunes to him mashing his keyboard louder. 

You take a deep breath. “Take it down.”

“Hmmm? Take what down? You should be more specific, I’m not really following.” Shigaraki smiles and you could fucking hear it in his voice.

Your eyes screw shut, anger already bubbling within yourself. “You know what I mean, stop playing dumb. Take. It. Down.”

“Aaah, I don’t have time to play games with you, so either get to the point or—”

“What do you want, Shigaraki? Hm?” you growl, quickly losing your patience. “Do you want me to blow you? Sleep with you? What do you want from me?”

“Whoaaaa, what the hell? Chill! Do I look like some desperate fucking loser to you?” he says it, like he doesn't know. “Only idiots would think to fuck ugly bimbos like you, and it seems like you’re pretty much used goods at this point anyways, haha. Honestly, who’d fuck you at all ever again? I’ve seen all the shit your ex did—” He inhales sharply, key taps becoming frantic on the other side of the line. “Fuck! They’re on B, planting! Spinner, fucking TP there, stop wasting time, FUCK! HEY! Do you want to win, or what? Oh, you do? Then fucking LISTEN to me.”

After a long second of him huffing and puffing in your ear, it finally clicks in your brain. 

Shigaraki is gaming, playing with his buddies, relaxing while you feel like your life is falling apart for the 1000th time this month.

“Okay,” you finally say.

“Okay? Okay, what?” he scoffs. “You know, you should try a little harder, moron. I told you what to do before, if you want me to help you.” Shigaraki pauses, focusing on his game for another moment. You watch your animated wallpaper turn into a dark screen due to your inactivity—until he snorts. “Yeah, maybe you do enjoy this kind of thing, after all. I wouldn’t really put it past you. After seeing those vids, boy, gotta admit.” He whistles and his mic peaks. “Didn’t think you were the type! Ahh, does the faculty even know? I wonder how they’d react, knowing their adorable little honors student was spending her free time fucking low-level druglords, getting high and recording shitty rape-porn!”

“What I do with my life, in private, is none of your fucking business!” you yell into your phone. “Do you even know how old I was in those? What I fucking went through? Did you not fucking see? Yet you still decide you wanna go ahead and dox me?” you ask desperately, voice cracking multiple times. “What kind of monster are you? How low can you fucking stoop, like actually?”

What were you trying to do? Appeal to his humanity? Does a guy like this even feel empathy? The last few ones in your life didn’t, and they were all really fucked up too. What’s the chance he’d listen? Probably none, but what’s the point in holding back anyways?

“Damn, don’t get emotional, man. Not my fuckin’ problem you let your shitty ass boyfriends fuck you up like that—Fuck, shut up! Wasn’t talking to you, idiot. Yeah, I’m in a call, focus on the fucking game!” he yells at his friends before continuing, “Listen, got anything else to say besides bitching and whining at me? Last I recall, I gave you two fucking options, and so far you’ve chosen to ignore both. So explain to me why I should do anything for you, hm? Make it count, too, ‘cos I’m really tired of hearing you cry in my fuckin’ ears.”

Wow—he was just… wow.

“I’m sorry,” you say honestly, breaking that apology record after all.

“Mm? Come again? Couldn’t hear ya.” 

Tomura smiles expectantly.

At last, the breaking point. He’d hoped that ideally, it would’ve happened in class, with you kneeling before him in front of all NPCs to see, but this was okay too. He’s going to cut you a little more slack, you didn’t know who you were dealing with, after all. 

See? He can be merciful as well.

Your jaw tightens, eyes becoming glassy with wet sadness for the nth time today.

“I’m fucking sorry, o-okay?”

The weight comes crashing on you all at once, and you finally break down crying in front of the devil himself. 

You hear him saying ‘BRB’ and after some shuffling, the line becomes completely silent, save for your pathetic sobs. 

Is he just listening to you suffer? Was he that fucking cruel?

“I-I’m sorry for being such a—such a bitch to you in the store—f-for talking to you in class and g-getting you in trouble with the professor. I-I’m really fucking sorry. I didn’t know better,” you sob. “I shouldn’t have—shouldn't have talked out of turn, shouldn’t have upset you—” Your voice cracks and you choke, “I-I wish I’d never talked to you. I was stupid. R-Really, really stupid to cross you. Will you please, please take the thread down? I’ll make sure I’ve learned m-my place. I won't bother you again.”

You sound so pathetic even to your own ears, as you descend into the beginnings of a panic attack. It’s over. It’s all over. Your life is going to be destroyed after this. You’ll lose your scholarship, Taylor will leave you and you’ll finally buy that rope and fucking hang—

He should be feeling thrilled, ecstatic even, now that he’s finally gotten to crush you.

You, with your filthy fucking mouth, always cursing at him, always talking shit and trying to piss him off. You, who are like everyone else in this world, who’ll sneer and think you’re better than him. He’s put you in your place where you belong, like everyone else who tries to fuck with him. 

Held back, even.

That’s right, he’s holding back right now. He’s given you a choice and you finally used that stupid brain of yours to take it.

He should be feeling on top of the world, but instead he feels something twisting within him, hearing the broken desperation in your voice.

Ahhh. Anger. He’s feeling anger.

You wished you’d never talked to him? To never bother him again?

Shouldn’t you wish to be nicer? For him to forgive you? For him to like you?

The fuck kind of apology was this? Why were you so fucking clueless?

“That all?” he replies to your sobs, bored and indifferent.

“What?” you whisper.

“Is that fucking all, I asked. Are you fuckin’ deaf now or something?” He raises his voice at you and you flinch.

“I-I don’t u-understand, I’m being genuinely—”

“I DoN’t unDerStaAanD! Fucking—cry more, bitch,” Shigaraki mocks you. “You’re wasting my fucking time, so if that’s all you have to say, I’m hanging up.” 

Fuck, he’s let himself become defensive. He’s being irrationally angry right now, losing his cool.

This hurt feels new to him, and he’s only ever felt it around you. That’s right, it’s your fault.

It’s your fault you disrespected him when he’d asked to play with you. It’s your fault you thought you could get away with getting him in trouble, it’s your fault he’s feeling this way right now.

It’s your fucking fault, and he’s angry, so very angry that someone like you is able to get to him, to hurt—

You feel your knuckles turning white from the pressure of your fingertips against the plastic case of your phone.

“Can you stop being a fucking child f-for one f-fucking second, and talk to me so I can understand?!”

“There’s nothing for you to understand. You’re fucking retarded, and I’m gonna make sure you can’t set a single fucking foot outside your house, without feeling scared that rapists and stalkers are camping next to your door. Stupid bitch, maybe I’ll post the entire fucking thing today, give ‘em your address and get it over with,” he grunts, voice low and cold. “I lost the game too, ‘cos of your sorry ass.”

“—really fucking hate you, Shigaraki! But you’re used to people feeling like that about you, aren’t you? Fucking with my life—with people’s lives like you’re some—what? Some god?” you spit, abandoning all your reasoning. 

If he’s going to destroy your life too, might as well go down with a fight, right?

“You’re not, though,” you laugh bitterly, million thoughts racing through your head and you feel like your brain is gonna split. “You’re really not. You’re just a… you’re just a pathetic unoriginal asshole, and I can’t fucking believe how stupid I was to let myself—to ever think—to stoop so low and fucking feel like you’re—to fucking like someone like y—” 

There’s silence.

And then you hear Shigaraki inhale softly.

Blood drains from your face. 

Were you just about to… were you confessing to him?

Stupid, stupid, fucking stupid.

Your thumb hovers over the ‘end call’ button. Fuck this.

“What? What did you—what were you saying?”

“Fuck off,” you whisper, shoulders slumping.

“HEY! Repeat? What did you say? You can’t believe you what?” His voice is eager as he presses you, but you’re already checked out of the conversation.

“I said, go fuck yourself asshole. Pray I kill myself before I have to see you again.”

“If you fucking dare to hang up now, I swear to fucking GOD,” he yells, volume peaking again and you just end the call, turning your phone off and slumping in your chair.

Then, you giggle deliriously at the memory of you defending him a few hours ago. 

What were you even saying? Ahh, right! ‘Don’t pick on him because of silly rumors. Don’t say stupid shit if you don’t know him!’ 

You’re so fucking stupid. Why the fuck did you friendly fire at your best friend of all people? They were right. He’s just a piece of shit. You’d even cried in front of him, begging him to stop. You’d fucking apologized.

Pathetic. That’s all you are. Fucking pathetic.

“Fuck this whole world, honestly,” you whisper to yourself. 

Getting up, you grab your phone and use all your force to throw it across the room, hearing it smash against the wall and then fall to the floor. You hope it splintered and broke, the way you feel like your life has.

[aster-is-confused]

"tiktok tourrette's," from the perspective of someone who experienced it

i want to talk about "tiktok tourrette's" as someone who was affected by it. almost all of the discussion around this that i've seen hasn't actually involved the people affected by these sudden-onset tics after watching tourrette's creators, likely because most sources dismiss them as attention seekers or fakers. while i know some people may be intentionally faking tics, mine were definitely not intentional, and i'm sure i'm not the only one. so i'm going to share my side of the story.

(this is not to start an argument, engage in discourse, or refute any specific claim. i just want to present my own experience. this means please don't reply to this post with discourse or accusations. also obligatory disclaimer that i'm not a psychologist, neurologist, or any kind of expert on tics. i honestly haven't even done a lot of research on this phenomenon, because the way people with experiences like mine are talked about is awful sometimes, and it's hard for me to read.)

i was pretty much your classic case of "tiktok tourrette's": young adolescent (13-14 years old), assigned female at birth, active on tiktok, poor mental health, self-diagnosed with several disorders (adhd, autism, anxiety, depression, OSDD; i've since recovered from my anxiety/depression and decided not to medically label my plurality), and seeking refuge from my mental health issues during covid lockdown by going online. after maybe a month or two of the tiktok algorithm showing me tourrette's content, i started feeling twitchy every time i saw a video with tics in it, and soon that evolved into involuntary neck twisting, face twitches, and/or simple vocal tics whenever i saw a video or anything else reminded me of tics for whatever reason. it was often worse and more easily triggered when i was stressed, and as time went on i had a more difficult time getting the tics to stop once they'd started. suppressing them felt very similar to how i've heard it described by people with tourrette's, like i could stop it temporarily but it took focus and felt like it was building up in that muscle, and if i failed it would come back stronger.

this continued for probably a year, but i was able to keep it hidden from my family and at school since it almost exclusively happened when i saw someone else ticcing, usually on tiktok. i didn't want attention for it and i didn't want it to get worse, because i knew dealing with tics in public would be a nightmare. however, sometimes they would start to flare up when i was having a severe panic attack. eventually, i learned to quickly scroll past tourrette's content on tiktok, especially in public, because it would just end in a flare up.

my tics hit their worst point when i was hospitalized for mental illness reasons and switched to a new adhd medication, which had the side effect of making my tics worse, and of course the massive stress of hospitalization contributed to it too. i wasn't allowed my phone during this time, and i don't remember anyone around me having tics that would trigger mine, but i still spent a large portion of my stay having tics, especially when i would get overwhelmed with noise. i was put on clonadine (anti-anxiety and anti-tic medication) as needed to help the attacks, but the doctors didn't look further into it at all, which is surprising looking back.

since that hospitalization, my tics have gradually but completely gone away. switching adhd meds again helped significantly, and then it took a few months for my occasional mild tic attacks to stop. since then, it's pretty much like i never had them. as i've been writing this, all this talk of tics has caused a bit of muscle tension and the very occasional neck twitch, but i know 2 years ago i wouldn't have been able to write a post like this without a full flare up, so i've made super significant progress just by not engaging with tourrette's content on social media since i know it can be a trigger.

i decided to write all this up and post it because i've tried to learn more about it, but everywhere you look there's doctors just chalking it up to intentional faking for attention. obviously this may be the cause in some cases, but certainly not all of them. one theory i find believable relates to mirror neurons, but there's just not enough actual research on this issue beyond "here's 2 case studies and my opinion" type of articles and then popular news outlets citing those opinions as facts. we need more involvement from the actual people struggling with this, and we need to believe and support people struggling with sudden-onset tic symptoms.

if you want to hear about other people's experiences with this issue, here is another post i found with similar experiences. i couldn't find any others with the crappy mobile search on tumblr.

if you're experiencing this yourself, try to distance yourself from triggers, whether that's social media or something else, and seek medical attention if you're able to, especially if you have other neurologic symptoms like seizures or new/worsening OCD-like symptoms.

[triumphantfury]

Hi!!! Just dropping by because I was missing your fics so I reread them and now I have to tell you how much I love you. I love you a lot, by the way. Like literally every time I read a chapter of yours I love you more because GAH the writing is so damn good. Ahem anyways thank you so much for the update on Wrapped in Red and I still have to fan myself every time I look at Upside, but I've been thinking the most about "To Suffer a Witch." I don't mean to put any pressure on you or anything but may I inquire on the next chapter's status? Or perhaps just request a snippet? Also when you asked the readers whether or not they'd like an eventual lemon I'd like to vote yes to the lemon. Please. Possibly-Demon Hiccup is hot as hell and I'm greedy. 😅

Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful writing with us and I hope you have a wonderful day, week, and at least a virtual cabin in the woods where you can relax, read, and at least think on writing!

Oh boy….

It’s taken me forever to get around to answering this ask, but as the new chapter update is almost complete (after way, WAY too many rewrites), I feel like I can finally post this reply with some measure of confidence. Sorry it’s taken so long. I wish I had a good excuse, but my brain sometimes just shuts me out.

Anyway, after much anticipation, and likely a little cursing, here’s an excerpt from the soon to be posted next chapter of TSaW:

*The next couple days seemed to drag by for Astrid. She felt trapped between a longing to see Hiccup again just to prove she wasn’t mad, and a strong urge to just write it all off as a delusion. Perhaps one brought on by some bad grain or curdled milk. Countless times she’d been sure she heard hoofbeats outside, only to have them grow into a roll of thunder the next second. Or she’d catch a glimpse of a dark shadow approaching on the road, only to have it melt from her sight a moment later as if swept away by the driving rain.

Some small part of her was starting to worry she was actually going mad. Her mood darkening as she channeled her other feelings into straight anger so as to help herself deal with it better. It wasn’t as if she could really speak of it to anyone, anyway. She was still too confused about it herself.

Resigned to bear this burden alone, Astrid had kept to herself as much as possible while trapped inside. Waiting impatiently for a break in the weather when she could distract herself with repairs outside instead. The Lord knows there was always plenty of work to keep her busy. That, and manual labour was better than wasting time dwelling on… Whatever it was that had occurred here the other night.

Fortunately - or maybe unfortunately - she’d soon discovered that the storm hadn’t done anywhere near as much damage as she’d expected given its ferocity. The house, shed, and barn had all weathered fair enough at least. An old tree had toppled near the back of the pasture though. She’d gone out to repair the section of broken fencing yesterday. Her brothers helping her as much as she would allow them to - which mostly meant keeping the opportunistic goats from escaping through the hole while she worked.

It had been while she was winding the last of the rope around the newly set post that Ruffnut had approached her from across the field. Somehow always keyed in to the local to-dos, Tuffnut had heard from one of their other neighbours that some people had started to fall ill in town. The worst of which was little Argh — Mr. and Mrs. Ack’s youngest son, who was not yet a full year into this world.

“Gunnar thinks it’s because of those witches that Trader Johan was talking about the other day,” Ruff stage-whispered over the fence. Her thumb gesturing towards the home on the far side of Mildew’s plot as she glanced around, as if to make sure no one else was within earshot.

“I’d be rather foolish to agree,” Astrid huffed. “It’s likely just been brought on by the rain. We all know that a chill in the air today sets a chill in the bones tomorrow.” Looking away from her gossipy neighbour, she dressed the knot as her father had taught her before pulling it good and tight. Then she stood and gave her work a proud once over. Nodding, as if to show her approval to the craftsman.

“Maybe…” Ruffnut’s hesitant reply trailed off thoughtfully, and she was chewing on her lip when Astrid at last looked her way again. It was almost as if she had something she wanted to say, but wasn’t sure if she should speak it aloud.

“Go on,” Astrid grumbled. “Whatever it is, spit it out.”

“Well, Gunnar told Tuff that Trader Johan said the evil, or what ever it is, would arrive first in the form of a black shadow on horse back…”

“Trader Johan has always enjoyed adding plenty of dramatic nonsense about ghosties, ghoulies, and other such things to his tales,” Astrid felt the need to point out. “He seems to think it makes the stories more exciting.”

“I know,” Ruff agreed. “Thing is, Tuffnut swears he saw a stranger dressed in all black when he was out in the woods yesterday. A stranger riding atop a huge black horse. When he tried to get a better look, man and horse were already gone. Maybe the horse was just really fast, but… Tuff said it gave him the creeps.” Her eyes were shifting all around again as she leaned closer over the fence, and she looked unexpectedly nervous.

“Oh, that was probably just…” Astrid’s words died on the way to her mouth as she thought better of it.

Astrid knew how Tuff felt. The unease of not being sure exactly what you had just born witness too. This did not mean that she should necessarily encourage him to repeat his tale. Especially when she didn’t yet know what to think of the whole thing.

Would it truly be wise to mention it to someone else? The twins had never been known for their discretion, and Astrid’s words would simply confirm Tuff’s suspicions — which he would then feel required to share with every person he came across. At best, it could cause a slight scandal that a young man had spent the night in their home. At worst, the superstitious townsfolk may think the Hofferson clan had entertained something entirely inhuman, instead.

No, it was best to keep what she knew of Hiccup Haddock to herself for now. Surely the others would learn of him soon enough. “Just… because Tuff was busy snacking on unknown mushrooms in the forest again.” Astrid finished awkwardly. Covering her near slip-up with an eye roll, just to be safe, and hoping Ruffnut wouldn’t notice.*

If anyone wants to read it, here’s a link to the rest of the story. Or at least the beginning…lol

[bisquuet]

notices + happy dev ! :D

please read! if you want! + TLDR AT END!

this is technically long but its nothing crazy and FRANKLY, i dont use tumblr alot so pls bare with me (thats just an overall statment for anything i do on this place sob)

OTHER OCS + ELDERS:

i know i dont show the others of the rwar family as much but if theres someone that you guys want to know more pls lmk! (whether by name or image) i would love to share about them since i have to either way eventually :D speaking of, the rwar clan has elders. i wanted to share them when they are done but i might just drop em as i go!

ASKS + NEW ART?:

sorry i havent done the asks or new art. i explained on my bsky but basically my wrist has been CRAP. since i use it for hw a lot, it gets already worn out so when i finally have a chance to draw after,, i can only do so for like 30 minutes before needing a break :sob: i still have the drive but the motivation and time... is lacking which makes me a bit sad. I really love devlin and the story around him and all of my friends oc, i think about them all the time and I wish i could just show that whenever i could D: but like. SCHOOL AGHHH . (the demise of it all)

OTHER PROJECTS:

as you may or may not have seen, i posted the calling to the MAP that I am hosting :D this is one of many projects i have in the works. unfortunately, none are mariuma-oc adjacent. some other projects are of my other ocs, such as dubbing and animation work. as well as im working more on my comic, After End! if you are at all interested in that then feel free to follow me on bluesky at bisquuet, my most active social atm! (linked) if u want to see my other socials click here for my linktree

This is about to get a bit personal so feel free to skip!:

this is really just a slightly related rant, but also..im afraid i seem a bit self-centered at times becuz, i dont draw my friends characters AS much or share about them and yet im here so happy whenever they draw for me and you know.. INVOLVE themselves into my ocs! i cant help but be a bit guilty that... im too involved with my own ocs..? like its weird to explain this feeling. 😭 and i frankly dont want to get TOO much into it just cuz this is a tumblr for silly demon ocs of mairuma not a ranting/personal acc lol but. it HAS happened where i am too involved with my fandom oc and it gets 'popular' and then someone 'calls me out' for pushing my ocs into others and that. kinda killed it yk? like i dont want to push devlin either onto everyones faces but im also scared that it gives off that its all i talk about (which is kinda true? idk) 😭 like eventually i just melted away from it a bit, to. prevent what has happened before. i rarely draw that other fandom oc becuz of that. and like i said, i love devlin, i dont want that to happen. I want to keep creating but, my personal feelings and my physical limits, and even my mental state stops me and it SUCKS!! rahh! anyways, i need to get more into the habit to just posting whatever on here cuz i srsly have a lot backlogged but i just hold back from posting them cuz i think they are 'ugly' or well, unappealing ><... ill get to it eventually!

devlin is very personal to me. in a way, he reflects me haha,, but also i cherish it if others relate to him, thats kinda the purpose almost. I also really love mairuma!!

no need to affirm me or anything, just wanted to get some things across, since i have a hard time stating my feelings! feel free to share if you kinda relate to what i mean tho if ya want

CONCLUSION + TLDR:

feel free to ask about my other rwar ocs, im happy to share info about them. I will be sharing more soon down the road,,,, asks will be answered oh so slowly cuz of time(school), motivation and wrist pain! i have other projs like mairuma map! my other socials if u wanna follow too besides mairuma oc stuff: linktree err my feelings ig, dw about it tho fr, i love devlin and im happy if you do too! OKAY thats it! thanks for reading if you did, i cant promise when more art will be shared on here. I will say that a school break is coming up! but as of now i need to LOCK IN!!!! ROARR okay byeee <3 🦖

[lerry-hazel]

The long-ass Thomas Barrow post that needs to stop living in my brain

Part 2: The Sad Ones

Be as it may, if the bad stuff was all we ever got to know about Thomas Barrow, eventually I would have accepted, that, nope, he's just evil, – and moved on.

However, the show also has those parts strategically blended in where we are supposed to feel for Thomas. Probably. Maybe. I guess. Right?

First, chronologically, we have the “blighty”: it was possibly meant as a squarely bad thing, in contrast with William, but I firmly believe no one who hasn't actually been to war gets to judge. Nevertheless, I admit it would have gone down better if we could have seen Thomas actually helping the wounded in the hospital, thus still pulling his weight and dealing with the horrors of war, albeit second-handedly.

*******************************************************************

Then comes the Jimmy thing.

A lot could be said about how, if it was meant to be “just a kiss”, it should have been written as just a kiss. But whatever, I remember vehemently insisting – when my outraged grandmother demanded how I could possibly like Judas in JCS – that it's possible to feel sorry for someone just because they are feeling bad, regardless of what they had done to deserve it. From that point of view, Thomas’ willingness to just take it lying down is sort of endearing – at least until you realize he didn't have to, like, hunt down a kangaroo to make the whole debacle go away: all it took – literally – was saying three words. Were it mentioned that at that point no one would believe Thomas over O'Brien, or were the insistence to have Thomas punished presented as Jimmy being done with O'Brien's fake placating and finally pushing back, it would have made way more sense. Of course, Thomas’ subsequent lack or gratitude to those who stood by him at those troubling times doesn't help either.

********************************************************************

Then there is “the treatment”, which surely seems appalling, as long as we assume it's chemical castration, or something equally horrifying that's making Thomas feel so ill. But, as soon as we find out what's actually happening – 

First, even though Thomas’ on-screen medical career primarily consisted of sitting on his arse looking self-important, it's hard to believe he doesn't know what an abscess is. And an abscess is by no means indicative of what kind of treatment he's been undergoing. In fact, Thomas should have assumed he hadn't sterilized the needle properly, and taken himself to hospital as soon as the pain became too much, blaming a rusty nail. Alternatively, he could have tried lancing the thing himself, realizing he couldn't see what he was doing and needed someone to hold a mirror. Or he could have put it off until he couldn’t stand upright anymore. But the way he actually brings Baxter in – to, what, tell him he needs to see a doctor if he's feeling unwell? – looks exceedingly less like he's learned to ask for help, and more like he is unsubtly manipulating her into showing him kindness: right after being pointlessly evil to her – again. Sort of "hate me all you want, I know you'll come running if I call."

And let’s not forget about egging the police on in the first place: mistakingly believing changing this one aspect of your personality will make your whole life better is one thing; literally going through considerable pain to turn your life around, yet still purposely doing things you know are wrong is another.

********Er, triggering content ahead? *****************

In a way, the same could be said about Thomas' suicide attempt.

I'm not making a list of most efficient ways to end one's life, but locking oneself in a bathroom in broad daylight wouldn't be anywhere near the top. Also, not undressing fully kinda suggests he didn’t want to be found naked; yet, were he thinking of those who would have to deal with the aftermath, he wouldn't have left them a bloody bathtub to scrub in the first place. Combined with the cryptic message to Molesley, of all people, it frankly looks less like an act of utter desperation, and more like a pity party.

Like, on the one hand, Thomas does seem to have enough reasons to hate his life. However, while finding love might be indeed tragically beyond his reach, it's kinda hard to disregard the fact that his looming unemployment doesn't come from lack of offering, but from his unwillingness to do too much work. Or that, instead of trying to reconnect with his colleagues by making amends for his past misdeeds, Thomas’ attempts to curb his loneliness come in the form of forcing his presence upon people who have no reason to welcome it (it so pisses me off when in fanfiction Carson and/or Mrs. Hughes are made to apologize for not letting him third-wheel on what was obviously their couple’s time).

If I could find motivation to rewrite this arc, I would probably rearrange it all together. Like, when Thomas is urged to seek employment elsewhere, he grabs the first offer that comes his way, because “he never wanted to stay in Downton anyway”. Then, finding himself in a house with virtually no other servants to rely on, or even talk to, and “upstairs lot” unwilling to put up with his shenanigans, he is starting to realise what a mistake he’s made, and is eventually driven to despair.

Wouldn’t be easy to bring him back, but in DA universe screenwriting miracles so do happen ;-)  

[qiangweirosa]

PINNED POST

hi! im qiangweirosa, i use he/she pronouns and i dont really care how you refer to me. rosa's just fine!

i write for whatever fandom and pairing inspires me enough - i mostly write canonxcanon (or platonic relationships between canon characters), but im not against trying out xreader writing if anyone's interested.

im on ao3 under the same username! so far these are my only accounts with this user (but i do have my personal accounts on other socials on which i do promote my fics)

masterlist !!

some more info in case you're ever interested:

i speak french and english fluently. i only write in english though

my ask box is always open for requests, reactions, suggestions, anything! when it comes to requests tho i cant guarantee ill get to them soon as my inspiration is very volatile

medias i (may) write for: tears of themis, genshin, dr stone, ninjago, tougen anki, persona 3-5

i have specific opinions on a lot of pairings in said medias, so if you request a pairing i dislike/don't care much about i probably won't write them

im mainly a twitter user unfortunately. im sure it shows but that may explain why i use this website in some ways

im also autistic! so that affects how i interact with people

taglist, for navigation:

all fandoms are tagged by their name

my ao3 works = works i transferred here that i wrote before making this blog. they're posted in reverse chronological order, meaning the first fics visible on my blog/on the tag are the oldest

my new ao3 works = works i've written after making this blog!

talking = simply talking about whatever, usually writing! feel free to mute if youre only interest in my fics

my tumblr requests = stuff i write based on requests. might transfer them to ao3 eventually

my headcanons = hcs i write!

any anon tag will also be tagged

[jordanianprincesses]

Thanks for answering me ,i'm the Jordanian🤭. I came back to tell you it was reported via her twitter account that she is arrogant,spoiled and very selfish. She cares for money and power and still loves to party ( opponents have done lots of researchs it will be shown soon) and that's why she accepted to be the wife of a man who will never like her. In her family she is the least smart, a title will give her the attention she wants.She's getting older , broke up with Abdulrahman in 2021 ,she has to marry . A deal was made and not with her father but with saudi arabia, it's even more deeper than what we think. Even if he comes from an open family Hussein isn't like her at all. Tbh if she was his choice i would say ok he took her it's all on him but it's not him he is really really ( for the people who follows him for years) not fine since their engagement. He is doing it forced but has to do it sadly. Now for the Queen part, being chosen now won't guarantee her that title and I pray God she will never be our Queen she doesn't represent us and will never be able to feel us or our way of living and she doesn't care. You say we have to be fair when judging her ,i get the point of course but it's clear you didn't see the backlash and don't know how in Jordan they're insulting ,really insulting her and Hussein for that choice. We're arabs and very conservative. Yes the RHC said and played too much on the she comes from a conservative family so we all thought great for once someone to represent our arab and conservative culture but noooo there are more things coming.Not fair for him when he didn't choose her but have to link his name to her . It will end badly ,too much of bad things.I wish for Hussein to find someone like Princess Muna or Queen Alia who were both 2 decent women and very loved by King Hussein. I wish him someone he loves and who will love him the same. He will re marry for sure.Rajwa and him will 100% end very quickly. Have you seen how he is? How much weight he lost,how depressed he looks? Even when he fakes to her in public he is doing it and suffering .I hope you understand my view if she wants to live her life she can lives it her own way but not representing my country. It's already hard having Rania as Queen you can't imagine people's fears now and we feel Hussein is the only one who cares really for his country and people, and seeing him like that just prove he isn't accepting all this ,just forcing himself but it looks bad ,very bad.

Hello well I totally understand your point. Specially that you are Jordanian and you have the right to criticize the ones that may represent you one day. About the arranged marriage maybe that's right I don't know and I don't want to jump into conclusions. Yet if it is true and as you said it's a DEAL then both of them are taking advantage of the other so that's it Hussein for the money and Saudi links and Rajwa for whatever reason. I've seen Hussein loosing weight so many times before .Even Meghan who loved Harry so much lost weight before her wedding and that's why her dress was ill fitted .hhhh About her being mean ,I don't wanna know about it because I am convinced that people can change and they eventually change.

I understand that I am being objective because I am not Jordanian and that it's different for you because you already disapprove of so many things within the family that leads you country and you are deprived the right to freely express your opinions .

As for me , Rajwa is today's years old and I don't care about her past.

Princess Muna was a good wife to K Hussein but he ended up divorcing her and fell for someone else haha it's not about being good or not. Q Rania apparently isn't loved by the Jordanian people but she and Abdullah didn't divorce ...

Regardless of whether she and Hussein are in love or not , I like her presence to be honest, she is charismatic and I want to make posts about her. Haha

It's only a fan page I like to make fun posts and all without judging any one.

[heatwa-ves]

izuleo and akiangel for the ship ask meme?

Izuleo:

What made you ship it?

tbh. I think the fics by nocturneatmidnight their izuleos and their knights fics in general are sooo good. I was reading these before I read that many of the actual game stories (a lot of my original knowledge of enstars came from fic so take that as you will) so I didn't know knights that well but their fics made me so interested in them particularly izuleo and. well. here we are.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

everything they've been through together. they have such an interesting relationship that is shaped by their past experiences and while their past wasn't always nice I don't think they'd change it because it made them who they are today and they're both at a point where they're proud of who they are and how far they've come. also I like when they r mentally ill together in second year

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

they would not fucking be romantic!!!!! they're both aro idc (aroace leo aro gay izumi if you're curious on my hcs) I wrote something on this a while back when I was talking to ashe about how they're secret fourth thing. anyway regardless of aromanticness I don't think either of them would even want a romantic relationship, at least not yet.

Akiangel:

What made you ship it?

gonna be real I think I was shipping it before I even read the manga (akiangel safe sex biohazard suit post) but chapter 40 was what really got me. aighhjhhghhhyjf

What are your favorite things about the ship?

umm I literally don't even know how to put this into words but like. the fact they've grown from someone they hate/want dead (aki to angel) or someone they couldn't care less about (angel to aki) to caring so much about the others life in a world where you can't afford to care about other people. aki who hates devils learning to love someone. angel who's apathetic towards everything having someone else he'd go out of his way to protect. aki losing part of his life to save a devil. angel expressing he wants aki to live. telling aki to run. im so fine and okay.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

its insane how many people just forget? or choose to ignore?? the fact that they can't touch as if that's not something that's so interesting about their relationship lmao

also they would NEVER have a romantic relationship. I don't even mean this in an aro sense like I do with a lot of my ships but I mean that even if they did both have mutual romantic feelings they wouldn't do anything with it. I had a post about this but I can't find it because tumblr hates me. personally I don't believe whatever they had going on was romantic from angels side (it could have been eventually but it was over too soon for them) but it was moreso caring about and having someone care about them in a way that angel hadn't experienced since his lover and family potentially centuries ago and aki was only just learning to have again. okay this is getting too long tldr they would not fucking be romantic

also if I see one more cute softboy angel take I'm killing everyone

anyway as per usual your assigned reading is single slow desire no I will never shut up about this fic.