#whatcha thinking about

[unblissfulawareness]

TW: hospital, drugs, panic attack

Currently thinking about my last hospital visit and the single eye-opening moment for me that got me out of there.

Every time I’ve been in the hospital I’ve brought this little frog with me because I’m not a social person and I have these shut downs in unfamiliar environments that render me physically unable to speak until I get comfortable in someone’s presence.

This last one was a doozy because I didn’t talk to my roommate for the three weeks I was there but she was really sweet and had a son my age (overheard) and tried so hard to get through to me and was generally overprotective of my very being which to this day I look at with so much fondness.

When I got there I was coming off a really bad overdose. I wasn’t there for addiction and I think that tells you all it needs to about the context. First week I didn’t eat a damn thing. Four days in, three nurses (in probably the least professional fashion) surrounded me and started hounding me to no end because I said no to lunch and it bothered another patient (we’re living different lives, I wasn’t judging them for theirs, I was just mad that they were affected enough that I was the one who had to be dealt with). These nurses were grabbing me, and demanding I get up, demanding I say sorry to this patient and then eat lunch with them?? Trying to take my frog and treating me like a toddler that I wouldn’t get it back unless I ate.

And I’m losing it. Not violently. Screaming. Crying. Shaking so hard I couldn’t control my hands and clinging to that damn animal with a fucking death grip. Full. Blown. Panic attack. And I hadn’t said a word to these nurses who were still demanding I was being dramatic and trying to take my stuff and force me into a situation when being stuck there was already a forced situation.

My roommate is yelling at them to knock it off and trying to calm me down but she’s not allowed to actually leave her bed during all this so it’s hard to get through to anyone.

And then the psychiatrist comes in and that woman was pissed.

I’d been in the unit for three days (spent the first day in a different unit) and I hadn’t seen her yet. She raised her voice just loud enough to be heard and those nurses booked it. Tells my roommate she’ll be with her in a minute.

She walks over to me and gets on her knees to look at my face. This woman’s probably sixty and she is getting on the floor to look at me. And she just smiles and says hello and asks what my name is. I’m still hyperventilating. She’s leading me through a breathing exercise and I’m not even realizing she’s doing it. And when I’ve calmed down enough to tell her my name and I’m clearly still uncomfortable she turns her attention to my frog. Asks me like twenty fucking questions about my frog. And I’m sitting there, calming down, spending like twenty minutes with this lady just talking about my frog.

She was so gentle and it was so stupid and she talked to me like I was a toddler the entire time but she got through and I endlessly admire that woman for the effort she put in to making sure I was okay through the eyes of a stuffed fucking frog. We had an appointment right after my roommate’s appointment and I didn’t get better at talking to anyone or going to groups in the three weeks I was there but every damn time she saw me after that she asked me how my frog was doing and I’m just thinking about that right now because it was literally the sweetest interaction I’ve ever had in a hospital and that woman earned her job and I hope she’s doing well

She got me eating. Got me hanging out in common area. Made me realize that I can be gentle with myself and work through it on my own when she wasn’t around. Gave me coping skills. Gave me strength. That woman was a godsend for me.

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Uuuuuuuuuh

…

I don’t like what this is implying

[vantablackdraws]

*COUGH* I uuuuuuuuh-

yeah

[allimili]

"For my Y/N !"

I think he overheard Y/N cookie mentioning they wanted to taste Pure vanilla cookie,,,,

[luciferslatte]

📻❓🩷🍎

[goldkirk]

hey this isn’t aimed at anyone in particular but I’m saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.

I get enough messages that it’s impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when I’m not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isn’t a moral failing, it’s a lifeboat for me on my own blog.

In my personal life I’m already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, it’s just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.

I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.

I’m all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. I’ve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I can’t be one of them.

If you’re extremely upset when I tell you I can’t share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. That’s what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.

Please don’t send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.

[anonymousweirdo]

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Jason: Hey Tim!

Tim: *distracted

Tim: …hi.

Jason: …

Jason: *pulls out his wallet

Jason: Here’s a penny for your thoughts…and a quarter not to tell me them.

[whimsicmimic]

Once again thinking about Meryl’s fear of worms in tristamp and how that can be taken as a one off “haha funny joke” or how it can be viewed as another way that Meryl’s (supposed) middle/upper class background impacts the way that she interacts with the world.

Worms are one of the few readily available/“staple” proteins (and just food sources as a whole) on No Man’s Land that aren’t sourced directly from Plants. That she reacts to worms with fear, and reacts to the idea of Eating worms with disgust/revulsion indicates either a lack of exposure to the idea of people eating worms (possible if we run with the idea of her being middle/upper class; perhaps the people in her social sphere can rely on Plant-produced proteins and other food), or a degree of separation between the meat she eats and the source from which it originates (something very common with middle/upper class-raised people. There’s a degree of separation between buying a plastic-wrapped steak at a supermarket and butchering a cow).

Either way, that she Is repulsed by worms shows her privilege as someone who can Afford To Be repulsed by worms — someone who maybe hasn’t had to rely on worms as a food source before — and I just think it’s a fun little detail to think about.

[tiramisu-tuesdays]

I drew this a while ago, specifically before learnkng how to draw short adults

[subbysage]

My Pleasers came in~

[madebysimblr]

Gemma: Oh! You're home early!

Matty: Yeah. Slow day.

Gemma: I wanted to talk to you about something.

Matty: [sighs] About what?

Gemma: You know the doctor's appointment I went to last week?

Matty: …. No?

Gemma: Oh. Well they called me to tell me some good news today. At least I think it's good news. I know we haven't talked about having another, but I'm pregnant!

Matty: You are? That's- Well that is good news!

Gemma: Really? You think so?

Matty: It's great news!

Gemma: I'm SO glad you think so!! I have another appointment next week. Ultrasound, all that.

Matty: I'd like to come with to that, if that's ok with you?

Gemma: Of course! I'd love that! You missed out on everything with Juliana.

Matty: Uh-huh.

[Juli starts crying]

Gemma: Oh, right. Time for her bath and to bed- After I put her down for the night you want to talk a little more?

Matty: No, no. You go relax. I'll put her to bed.

Gemma: If you say so.

Juliana babbling

Matty: [quietly] Finally.

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by my beloved no.1 chappell roan stan @cordiallyfuturedwight thanks my darling <33 i can only apologise for the lack of ms roan here... i swear good luck babe has been on repeat i don't know what happened

tagging the usual suspects, apologies if i've already missed yours: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @thvinyl @cosmicdreamgrl @visionsofgideontheninth @hoseeok @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi <333 and you dear reader

oh and see here for more of my self-proclaimed songs of the summer if you're interested in that kind of thing

[feraltwinkseb]

November 2, 2019 - Austin, USA Source: XPB/Press Association Images

[thunderheadfred]

My mom found out I love Ethiopian food and sent me a video on how to make injera, recommended by one of her Ethiopian co-workers, and it starts out with “now, this can be tricky even for Ethiopian cooks” and I’m like ok great cool can’t wait to try it at home

(Calls nearest Ethiopian restaurant)

[naomiknight-17]

Interacted with a blog via one of my side blogs then looked at their DNI and it was several paragraphs like

"If you ship ANYTHING, DNI. If you post NSFW/NSFT in any main tags, DNI. If I think you're problematic in any way DNI"

And they didn't elaborate on the last one

Honey. What does that mean

I'm a big fat loud queer with a history of making NSFW art including stuff some would deem problematic. I don't shy away from politics. How am I supposed to know what you think is problematic? Maybe you're fine with people like me and maybe you're not!?!?

But all you've seen of me is my cat blog so. My cats are not problematic (except when they get into the recycling bin or similar shenanigans) so I guess you're just gonna have to deal with me