#what’s the point of living and being alive when nothing gives you any happiness

[doctor-wombat]

.

[gaysindistress]

Things that I feel like would happen when you’re in a relationship with Simon Riley.

Simon Riley masterlist

1. First off he hates the word ‘boyfriend’.

Maybe it’s because he’s in his mid thirties or something but he can’t stand being called your boyfriend. He’s more than that but also not at the same time. You live together, have access to each other’s bank accounts (which is only because he hates it when you try to fight him about him giving you money), and you’re each others emergency contact. He thinks of himself as your husband. The man wears a silicone ring when he’s home and a necklace with the ring that’s totally not a wedding band when he’s working. Price has seen the chain once or twice and smirks, shooting him a knowing look but never says a word.

Simon cannot stand it when people get nosy and want to know what your relationship status is. You’re together and that’s all that matters. No one needs to know that you’re the beneficiary of his will and life insurance policy or that he’s put you on all of his accounts. No one needs to know that he buys you anything you want but has only ever bought you two rings; a thin gold band with a flower engraved on it and its twin a matching emerald ring. No one needs to know that when he gifted them to you, there were tears and promises of safety, love, and happiness whispered against feverish skin. No one needs to know that he has your name woven into his chest tattoo.

No one needs to know any of that because your relationship is between him and you only.

2. You are not some submissive little house wife. You are a strong independent woman and he prefers it that way.

I know this one goes against what most people say but hear me out on this. Simon has been independent since birth practically. He’s only had himself to count on for years. Even in the military, he’s only been able to rely himself. Sure the others watch out for him but if it came down to it, he’s the only one who’s going to get himself out alive.

The thought of someone else relying on him in that way is terrifying. He can’t even fathom what it would be like to look at another person and fully trust them in that way. Half the time he feels like he can’t even be trusted to take care of himself let alone another human. In theory a sweet docile housewife is great with the meals and clean house but not for him. He needs to know that you can hold your own. He needs to know that you can be independent and carry on without him if something happened while he was working. He needs to know that you will be okay if he doesn’t come back.

You have to be okay without him no matter how much it pains him to think about it.

Like I said before, he’s made you the beneficiary of everything so he knows you’ll be set financially but that’s not enough. He’s made Price promise to keep an eye out for you. He’s made you promise to let Price do that and you agreed because it’s Simon who’s asking but you’d tell anyone else to fuck off.

In addition to all of that, he’s installed the best security system the government has to offer in your house. You have a very expensive and large safe in your shared closet that he’s instructed you to only open if you feel unsafe. While you might not like it, you agree to go shooting with him so he can sleep at night knowing that you could protect yourself if he’s not home. He’s gone as far as to make sure you have all of the licenses and certificates that are needed to legally own firearms in the UK.

He’s not leaving any opportunity for you to be vulnerable or have your ‘safety checks’, as he calls them, taken away.

3. Simon Riley is a godless man…until he meets you.

Now this is entirely my own headcannon with no evidence to support it so bear with me.

Simon had a shitty childhood where his mom would pray to a god who never listened and his dad would shout verses at him when he was drunk. God was a mythical figure that he was told stories off with nothing to show for it. He did believe at one point but then his dad never got better, his mom wore bruises of every shade, and his brother found comfort in drugs.

He found himself praying when he was being tortured by the Mexican cartel. Between the flashbacks of his abusive past, he prayed to a god who had failed him so many times before to help him. He prayed again as he dug himself out of that Texas grave with the major’s jaw bone. He wailed his prayers when he found his family executed after Sparks tried to kill him.

After that he deemed himself a Godless man. Years of praying had passed with nothing. This god had decided that Simon was not worthy of a miracle so why would he continue to worship him?

That was until he met you. He finds himself praying before every mission, every time he has to leave you, every time he’s on his way home, and just about any other time he thinks of you. He doesn’t know what exactly he’s praying for other than for you to be there when he gets back.

He whispers his prayers to an absent god against your skin as he worships your body, soul, and heart. He promises to be devoted to you until his last breath and vows to find you again in whatever afterlife awaits you. He pledges to find solace in you and only you when his haunting nightmares return. He makes an oath to your heart that it will never weather another storm alone again for his will take whatever beating that comes your way. He shows you that he will love you in the same manner as a Hozier song; putting you above all else because you have become his religion, his faith, his beliefs, his life.

You have become all that he is and he thanks the god he once believed in for you. He prays again but to you, his heart, his love, and his beacon through the enteral storm of life.

[adieutristana]

Hi hi hi! Was wondering if you could do a jinx x reader fic where instead of ekko saving her from blowing herself up it was the reader

Tyy <333

of course! thank you for the request <3

two out of three finals knocked out, then one more tomorrow and im free 💔

summary: fem! reader saves jinx from blowing herself up.

characters included: jinx

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, suicidal ideation, mentions of poor mental health, s2 spoilers, (some) fluff at the end, reader does not have ekko's time traveling skills (sorry)

men dni.

jinx stands on a ledge, dark tears staining her pale cheeks. long, blue braids gone. her shoes taken away, nail beds raw. she stands, with one of her own bombs, pulling at the safety pin. testing her own fate with each pull growing stronger and stronger.

pulling, pulling, pulling.

until she hears your footsteps, slowly looking over her shoulder. jinx looks through you, her eyes so utterly blank and dull. she looks so… defeated. she’s out of energy and out of resolve. she doesn’t say anything to you, though, only turns back to the bomb in her hands. pulling the pin one more time-

until you wordlessly sprint towards her, throwing your arms around her in a way that miraculously didn’t throw her off her balance. clasping both hands over hers, physically restraining her from putting the bomb to use.

“please, jinx, can we talk about this?”

you plead, your eyes desperately searching for any kind of reason. her eyes are downcast, her face relaxed. too relaxed. her voice comes out in a soft yet exhausted whisper.

“leave me alone, (y/n).”

“no.”

jinx tries to wriggle her hands out of your grasp, her shoulders thrashing with the movements and face contorting. she’s impatient. she wants to do this and get it over with.

“you’re too late.”

she says, still trying to escape your hold. still grasping her bomb, desperately trying to find any kind of purchase. anything. she’s given up, she’s done. there isn’t a point.

“too late for what?”

you gasp, now in a full wrestle with your girlfriend. wrapped around jinx from behind, your hands over hers, sharp nails scratching your skin and jinx writhing. grunting. she’s so frustrated yet so empty, and it makes your heart ache inside your chest. with the loss of isha, being thrown in jail, losing almost everyone she had… you understood jinx. finding motivation to keep living was already difficult enough for her, but almost all of those things had been ripped away from her.

it rips you into pieces seeing your girlfriend like this. you’ve seen it all: her breakdowns. screaming and crying because voices and hallucinations won’t leave her alone. her trying to act as if she doesn’t care when she gets blown off by her sister. coming home with bruises and cuts from god knows where after a mission, or even worse, coming home an inch from death. but never have you seen jinx like this.

jinx’s knees buckle under her and she falls to the ground, but your grasp is still strong.

“drop it, jinx.”

“no.”

“drop it.”

and to your surprise, she does drop it. you hoped to whatever was out there that this was the end of it, that she would give up. she would go home with you and finally tell you exactly what brought her to this point. stationery, the bomb falls on the floor, rolling away from the both of you and jinx staying in that kneeling position.

until she doesn’t.

“i’m tired of talking.”

she mutters under her breath, making her way to a ledge without so much as looking back at you. your senses are blown into full panic mode as you spring to your feet to sprint towards her, reaching for her braids to restrain her from stepping over- but they’re gone. your hand shot to the clasp of her top. holding jinx in place as if her life depended on it, probably because it did.

“jinx, baby, please. i know that things have been hard, you’re not happy. but you have to stay alive. for me, if nothing or nobody else. please.”

you plead. you circle jinx to stand in front of her, placing your hands on her shoulders gently. almost afraid that she’ll break if you handle her too harshly, especially after just restraining her to stop her from killing herself. your eyes are filled with tears just waiting to spill, your lips pressed into a thin line. and then you feel jinx begin to tremble.

like a bridge that's lost its foundation, shaking and threatening to combust. her breathing is getting quicker, her eyes are darting from place to place to place, but never once settling on you.

"jinx."

you squeeze her shoulders, looking into her eyes, desperately trying to get through to your girlfriend. there has to be something you can do, surely. how come nothing is working? you've already pulled out all of the stops, what more could you do? what, if anything, would be successful? the tears in your eyes spill over, but you don't make any sound. you can't. you have to hold it together for jinx's sake.

jinx swallows tentatively. quivering.

"i... i can't do this anymore."

"of course you can," you whisper. reaching up to cup one of her cheeks with your hand, but she jerks away.

"everyone i get close to dies. or they leave. mylo, claggor, vander, isha... will you be next?"

she asks, finally locking eyes with you. it's clear that it's a rhetorical question- jinx doesn't want an answer. she wouldn't be able to handle an answer, not right now.

“no. no. i’m not leaving, jinx- and i don’t plan on dying any time soon. please, listen to me.”

you beg her, still looking into her eyes, half-lidded and glowing pink. one hand coming up to try and cup jinx’s cheek again, and this time, she allows it. this is a good sign. you’re getting somewhere.

“i have to break the cycle. i have to do something to fix all of this,” she says. “i’ve done so much i can’t come back from. what else is there to do?”

“walk away.” you whisper.

“what?”

“walk away. you don’t need to die, jinx, walk away. go somewhere. take me with you. you can still break the cycle without doing this.”

your thumb is brushing her cheek, your own cheeks stained with dried tears.

“what is your death going to fix? if anything, it’ll cause more pain. zaun will be fine if you walk away, but could you imagine what would happen if you died?”

jinx looks down, and another tear falls from your eye.

“please, you have to stay. i’ll come with you. i’ll do anything. just please, baby, don’t die. i don’t know what i would do with myself if you did.”

you plead with jinx. desperation is obvious in your tone, her jaw quivering, threatening to cry herself. she’s spent.

you feel jinx’s hand slowly, hesitantly coming to rest atop yours on her cheek, and all she does is nod. slowly.

“let’s go home.”

you whisper, brushing a lock of hair from out of her eyes.

“what do i do from here?”

jinx asks, her voice low and unsure.

“we’ll figure something out. i promise.”

[niningtori]

cruel intentions | part one

part two out now!

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: you live your life (un)comfortably in the shadow of your bright and beautiful best friend, chaeyoung. when campus heartthrob, beomgyu, takes an interest in you, you can't help but feel like it's just a way for him to get closer to your beloved best friend. in reality, his intentions are far crueler than that. or, beomgyu agrees to get with the campus' resident dark cloud in order to win a bet with his friend.

genre: romance, angst, campus life, clichés and melodrama (as per uje)

warnings: brief mentions of reader's abusive household, reader has almost comically low self esteem

word count: 7.8k

notes: hi... r u mad at me? i know i've been gone for a month or so and definitely have other projects i've promised to work on, but i've had a lot of personal stuff going on and couldn't focus on anything. i love this trope so much tho and couldn't stop myself from wanting to try my hand at it. i'm not expecting much from this seeing as how it's devoid of any suggestive content, but i figured it'd be better to post it so you all know i'm alive. if people want a part two, i will gladly make one since i really like this trope, but i do want to know if that's the case before i write anything. anyway, i think that's it. enjoy, my lovely friends :^)

you’re okay. you really, really are. you wouldn’t say you’re happy, per se, but things are alright as they are. there are worse things than living in the shadow of your bright and beautiful best friend, whom you love very, very much. chaeyoung is nothing if not dazzling, so much so that everyone falls flatly at her feet in the wake of one of her smiles. you are, as a matter of fact, no exception. chaeyoung has been like a savior from your unstable home life ever since middle school. she has stood up for you when you were too afraid to stand up for yourself and has become more like your family than your family ever was. even so, are you envious of the way that everything seems to go her way? you’d be lying if you said it doesn’t bother you at times, but it becomes more and more bearable every day. besides, you can’t blame her for it; she has no idea that you’re considered as little more than her sidekick and, for lack of a better term, a mob character in the colorful campus life you’ve grown to accept as not your cup of tea. 

being chaeyoung’s best friend comes with “perks” such as invites to what would otherwise be completely exclusive parties you wouldn't even dream of being considered for, but you can’t count how many times you’ve been approached with the intent of getting closer to her, so you refrain from any such affairs and opt to focus on your studies and fulltime job. in the beginning, your feelings would be hurt when men you were interested in feigned mutual attraction in hopes that they’d get closer to chaeyoung, but you’ve come to accept things as they are and you’re now known for your flatout rejection of anyone who attempts to woo you. 

these past few years, what with your heavy coursework, demanding job, and feelings of inferiority, have been grueling, to be sure, but you’re finally in your last semester and closing act of this entire charade you’ve come to call your college career. in a few months, you'll be a free woman and you’ll be able to begin your life as a fully fledged adult. chaeyoung will remain as your best friend, you know, but you won’t have to be compared to her every second since you two are set on very, very different career paths. life, as it is, feels so small and unvaried to the point of suffocation, but all of that will be over once you’ve entered the post-college workforce. or, at least, you hope it will. 

-

heeseung is lovesick, to put things in the simplest of terms. 

“i just don’t see why chaeyoung won’t give me a chance! i really, really like her,” he whines.

“i know,” beomgyu says with a roll of his eyes. 

“so why can’t you help me out?” he pouts.

“what the hell am i supposed to do about it?” beomgyu asks with a hint of irritation.

“gyu, you sit next to her and her friend in class! put in a good word for me!” he pleads.

“she’s always talking to that girl, so it’s hard to even say two words to her. you know that.” 

heeseung is, again, pouting, but the machinations in his head are firing in overtime as he searches for a solution. suddenly, his face alights as if he’s found the perfect plot. beomgyu’s wariness increases tenfold as he waits to hear whatever fucked up plan heeseung has put together.

“i know! what if you distract her friend so i can actually talk to her? and you can find out what type of guy chaeyoung likes.” he looks so earnest in this moment, but beomgyu cringes at the idea.

“dude, no. that’s fucked up,” he says.

“c’mon, i know you can do it!”

“well, yeah,” beomgyu nods in agreement, “but i’m not pretending to be interested in somebody just so you can fuck her friend. that’s wrong.”

“oh, please, gyu. we all know you’ve done worse.” he’s right. still, beomgyu vehemently disagrees. heeseung, in his desperation, can only think of one way to force him to give in: attack his pride.

“what, are you scared she won’t fall for it?” heeseung teases. “well, i can’t blame you. i heard people calling her the ‘iron maiden’ and that she won’t let anybody near her. why would she fall for you of all people?” beomgyu scoffs at his insolence.

“i could get her if i really wanted to,” he replies. “i just don’t feel like it.” 

“sure, whatever. i know you’re just scared she’ll reject the ‘great beomgyu’ and you won’t be able to keep saying you’re the hottest guy on campus.” beomgyu actually rolls his eyes at this.

“i bet you i could get her to fall in love with me by the end of the semester if i really wanted her to,” beomgyu argues petulantly. 

“prove it,” heeseung challenges with a raise of his eyebrows. now he’s got him.

“not for free,” beomgyu says with a smirk.

“... fine. what do you want?” 

“i want you to pay my half of the rent for the rest of the school year.” heeseung whines in response, but he quickly makes the calculations in his head and decides it’s worth it when he takes into consideration how fucking hot chaeyoung is. 

“deal.” 

“deal.”

and so it begins.

-

beomgyu, like most people, hasn’t really paid much attention to you before now. he barely even has an idea of what you look like, to be perfectly honest, but he can immediately figure out who you are just by looking to chaeyoung’s side as she's walking through the classroom door and seeing who’s sticking there. he takes in your features as if he’s seeing you for the first time, and he kind of is, frankly speaking. you’re not nearly as pretty as chaeyoung, and you definitely lack the aura she has, but you’re not bad by any means. your clothes are ill-fitting and your entire demeanor is soaked with an air of exhaustion, but if he looks carefully, it’s not like you’re an eyesore or anything. still, he’s considerably better looking than you are. this should be easy.

“hey,” he says softly in his baritone voice when you slide into your usual seat next to his, chaeyoung sliding in on the other side of you. to his surprise, you say nothing in response.

“hey,” he tries again, a little louder, thinking you just didn’t hear him or something.

“oh. hey,” you say confusedly before turning back to look at chaeyoung and continuing your conversation with her. well, that’s not nothing, he guesses, but heeseung sends him a knowing, goading glance from his seat and beomgyu feels himself growing irritated. 

when the professor enters, you turn to face her with a focused face and immediately pull out your pen to begin copying whatever she says down with solemnity. 

beomgyu is staring so intently, he’s surprised you don’t feel his eyes boring into the side of your face, but you don’t seem to notice a thing. before long, your professor announces that there will be a final project that will require a partner. chaeyoung excitedly grabs your arm with a grin, to which you answer her with a soft smile of your own. 

unluckily for the two of you, your giddiness is short-lived when she pairs chaeyoung with the person sitting on the other side of her, and you are stuck with the boy who randomly greeted you earlier. 

“i’m glad we’re partners,” beomgyu says with a smile as soon as the professor is finished relaying the details of the project with the class. 

“why?” you blink in confusion. 

“‘cause you’re really smart, right? and cute, too,” he chuckles. 

“oh, i guess,” you say flatly after a short pause. “when do you want to work on the project?” there is no wavering in your voice when you speak to him, and you look directly in his eyes, which is a far cry from the sweet, trembling voices and shy glances he’s used to. do you not find him attractive or something? no, that can’t be it. he’s everybody’s type. 

“i’m free tomorrow after 5. do you want to come to my place?” you tense up, but he keeps pushing. “you know, so there are no distractions?” you’re wary, of course, but you see no hint of sinister ulterior motives. besides, he can’t possibly see you in an impure way, so you agree with a low hum. 

“great. i’ll see you then.”

-

you arrive at his doorstep with your usual exhausted, haphazard look. some part of him thought you might try to doll yourself up to some extent, seeing as how you’re coming to the apartment of the hottest guy on campus and all, but he can sniff out no such effort. your hair is carelessly thrown up and your face is devoid of anything but the barest amount of makeup. your eyes are tired and there’s a permanent crease in your brows. still, he figures that complimenting you is worth a shot.

“hey, you look pretty today,” he says warmly. you do nothing but stare with a withering glance, but the grin never leaves his face.

“hi. where did you want to start?” you ask while following him to his living room and setting your bag on his couch. if he feels slighted by you ignoring his compliment, he doesn’t show it. 

“i thought we could review the rubric first and go from there,” he shrugs.

“okay.”

he makes several attempts at small talk, but they go nowhere. you are laser focused on the project and don’t even hesitate to reject any and all advances from him to the point where he’s beginning to grow frustrated. maybe you aren’t called the iron maiden for nothing, but the prospect of having his rent paid for the rest of the year is enough to keep him from giving up. he decides he’ll try a different approach.

“do you want some coffee? you look tired,” he says gently. you’re actually surprised at his observation, and he can tell. 

“yes, actually. thank you.” 

when he finishes making your coffee, he hands you a mug and you thank him while sporting a shy, grateful smile. momentarily, he’s stunned. he’s never cared enough to look for your smiles, and even if he had, he’d never see them unless you were with chaeyoung, but he realizes you look infinitely prettier while wearing one. 

“of course. if you don’t mind me asking, is there something wrong? you look really tired lately.”

“i-i’m just working overtime these days. th-thank you for noticing,” you sputter nervously. seriously? his feigned consideration of your personal circumstances is what makes you flustered? well, whatever. he can work with this.

“work is important, but your health is more important. don’t spread yourself too thin.” if your cheeks felt hot before, they’re scorching to the touch now. 

“i… i’ll keep that in mind. thanks.”

he doesn't probe much more deeply than that for fear of scaring you away, but you seem to have opened up just a bit in light of his thoughtful words. when you two decide to wrap up for the night, he walks you to his doorway.

“thank you for tonight,” you mumble with another one of your rare smiles. 

“you’re welcome,” he replies with a grin. 

you’re about to walk through his doorway when you turn back suddenly. before he can ask about it, your next words come tumbling out.

“chaeyoung likes confident men, but not to the point where they’re obnoxious. she hates movie dates because she wants to talk too much during them, but she likes stargazing, preferably with a picnic, too. she won’t text first, but she’ll respond quickly if she likes you back.” he’s stunned into silence and tries to stutter out something to the effect of “i wasn't trying to get you to tell me about her”, but all you do is give a knowing stare and he realizes he’s been caught. you leave his apartment and he’s left reeling. so much for being discreet.

-

the next time he sees you, he knows he has to apologize, but it isn’t until you meet again for the project that he decides the timing is finally right. 

you’re sitting on his couch, scrolling through your laptop as you proofread what you two have written so far when he musters up the courage to say something.

“listen,” he begins cautiously. you lazily look up at him and he tries to swallow the lump in his throat. 

“i… i think i owe you an apology and an explanation. i’m sorry for making you feel like i was just being nice to you so you could tell me about chaeyoung, but i really have no interest in her, i swear.” well, he’s half lying and half telling the truth, but he means it when he says he couldn’t give less of a shit about her. he can’t say he wasn’t just being nice to you in order to get his rent paid, though.

you look confused for a moment, as if you don’t even know what he’s referencing, but realization dawns on your face as you finally remember what he’s talking about.

“oh, it’s okay. it doesn’t bother me, anyway,” you reply with a shrug. 

“i’m serious,” he says firmly. “i really have no interest in her. to be honest, i’m interested in someone else at the moment.”

“oh,” you respond flatly, and you turn back to your laptop as if you’re bored and couldn’t care less about the most popular guy on campus actually having feelings for someone, for once. he snaps your laptop shut and you look up at him in surprise.

“i mean it. the person i actually want to get to know more about is you.”

your jaw drops in pure shock. 

“m-me? why?” you say, as if you can’t possibly believe that anyone could take a genuine interest in you. for some reason, he feels a pang in his heart at your sheer incredulity. sure, you’re no chaeyoung, but it's not like someone liking you is so rare of an affair as to throw you off kilter like this, right? 

“what’s wrong with me wanting to get to know a pretty girl like you?” you scoff and roll your eyes. you know you’re no trophy by any stretch of the imagination, so you have a hard time believing he means a single word.

“yeah, right,” you snort derisively. “the cutest guy on campus has a crush on me. you can’t honestly think i’d fall for that, can you? if you’re trying to flatter me to get me to do this entire project by myself, keep dreaming.” he’s surprised at your insistence. well, you’re not entirely incorrect. his intentions are impure if nothing else, but for some reason, he’s determined to prove you wrong. 

“oh, so you think i’m the cutest guy on campus?” he teases with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows. as if you didn’t realize you said those words yourself, you look more flustered than you’d care to admit.

“w-well, i —” 

“i’ll take it. and no, i’m not trying to get you to carry our grade on this. i genuinely just want to get to know you better.” and he doesn't know how much of that sentiment he really means, but he does know it means more than it should.

-

after a few more meetups, you’re pretty much convinced that beomgyu truly has no interest in chaeyoung. he never asks about her, and even when you offhandedly comment on her, he never pushes to know more. he just hums in recognition or perfunctorily answers. as for believing that he sincerely has interest in you? you’re not sure you believe that, but when the project is finished within a week and he asks you out on a date, you can’t help but seriously consider this previously inconceivable thought. 

“what did you say?!” chaeyoung asks excitedly once you relay that beomgyu, of all people, has asked you to go to dinner with him. 

“i said i’d think about it,” you sigh.

“you should go! text him right now and tell him you’re going!” 

“i don’t know, chae. you’ve heard the rumors about him. he’s a player…” 

“who cares about the past?! i haven’t heard anything like that in a while. plus, it’s worth taking a chance, right? you haven’t been on a date in god knows how long. if you don’t text him, i will!” she exclaims. “gimme your phone, i’ll do it right the fuck now!”

“no!” you counter, clutching your phone to your chest protectively. “i… i’ll do it myself,” you mutter.

“that’s my girl,” she says with a sweet grin.

-

“i feel stupid,” you mumble as chaeyoung applies the finishing touches to your hair. 

“well, you don’t look stupid, i’ll tell you that much. you’re absolutely gorgeous,” she boasts. 

“as if,” you mutter, but you know she truly believes it. chaeyoung has always argued that you’re beautiful, even though you know that the rest of the world, including you, doesn’t think so.

“i’m being serious!” she says with a playful smack to your shoulder. “you look hot! i bet he’s gonna drool when he sees you.” 

“alright, you’re going too far,” you say with a shy smile.

“go! you’re going to be late,” she chastises. you check the time and realize she’s right. you hurriedly grab your things and scramble out the door. 

beomgyu offered to pick you up, but you vehemently denied this on account of the restaurant being a 5 minute walk from your apartment. you need the walk to calm your nerves, anyway.

when you enter the restaurant, all bright-eyed and beautiful, beomgyu looks up from his phone in sheer shock. he knew you were actually pretty cute under the exhausted veneer you have permanently placed over you, but he never knew just how stunning you are when you don’t look like life has run you over. you’re actually wearing form-fitting clothes for once, too, and he likes what he sees.

when you lock eyes with him, you actually smile, which you have been doing a lot more lately, and he can’t help but return it with a smile of his own. it’s a little more eager and sincere than he realizes.

“you look gorgeous,” he remarks when you sit down in front of him. 

“you’re exaggerating…” you mumble embarrassedly. 

“i’m not. you’re stunning.” and he means it.

“th-thank you,” you say, and the air is thick with tension before you clear your throat and ask him if he's already ordered drinks.

the date goes surprisingly smoothly, all filled with laughter and banter. he already knew you were smart, but he realizes how funny you actually are when you’re not so tense. you match his mischievousness with your own and it feels so much like a real date that he forgets why he’s doing this in the first place. 

he’s surprised to hear that you’re actually quite interested in music. you share a mutual interest in a lot of bands and you even offer up some recommendations of your own, which he earnestly writes down in his notes app. when he mentions that he actually plays the guitar, your eyes light up in interest. 

“will you play for me, someday?” you ask excitedly. 

“of course,” he smiles softly. a lot of girls have asked him to play for them, and he has always happily obliged in order to get in their pants, but this time feels… different somehow. like he really just wants to show you how much he loves music and creating his own.

as you leave the restaurant, he grabs your hand and laces it with his. to both of your surprise, you don’t pull away and even let him gently swing your hand back and forth. you actually look like a real couple. you feel like one, too.

-

dates with beomgyu become a happy, regular occurrence. you’re not necessarily together as of now, but it’s been about a month and you’re genuinely considering something serious with him. he seems to eagerly reciprocate this sentiment if his constant invitations are of any indication. 

he suggests walking to the nearest park to sightsee, and you agree before you can even fully consider it. as you walk through the trail and take a seat on a bench in front of the pretty, sparkling pond, he locks eyes with you. you look so beautiful like this, eyes devoid of their usual exhaustion and wariness, replaced by a sense of peace. he can’t help but try his luck and lean down to, hopefully, join your lips with his for the first time. usually, he’d have tried this a lot sooner, but for reasons unknown to him, he’s treated you with a lot more care and reverence than he’s ever treated anyone before. a sudden ringing interrupts the moment, though. you casually take out your phone and all the aforementioned contentment in your eyes flushes out as you see the contact information. 

“h-hello?” you say unsteadily as you unlace your hand with his and walk away. 

he can’t quite hear what you’re saying from the distance you’re at, but he can see how wound up you are. he tries to be considerate and tune out your conversation, but when he hears you yelling and the person on the other end of the line yelling back, he can’t help but be engrossed. you’re borderline screaming now about something related to money. something about a sibling of yours, maybe. something about how you’re tired of being taken advantage of and how the other person is being unfair. you’re angry, he can tell. indignant, even, but all of that leaves your demeanor when you deflate with insincere apologies and a sense of relenting out of sheer defeat. after the explosive call ends, you walk back to him with the same exhaustion permeating through your bones that he’s become so familiar with. even though you’re dressed and primped so beautifully, nothing can cover the tiredness of your entire person.

“i’m sorry you had to hear that,” you say in a monotone voice. 

“o-oh. it’s alright. is… is everything okay?” he tries tentatively.

“yeah,” you say with the most forced smile he’s ever seen. 

“do you… do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

you sigh. normally, you would not. normally, you’d brush it off and just call chaeyoung to blow off some steam, but for some reason, you’re so frustrated that you can’t help but want to tell somebody other than chaeyoung because you know you rely too much on her for comfort. as for that somebody being beomgyu, you, for some reason, somewhat trust that he won’t go around telling everyone about your family troubles. you also vaguely feel that he won’t judge you, either.

for his part, beomgyu genuinely seems concerned. he seems like he wants to listen. he’s shown you, in the past month that you’ve known him, that he really does notice when you’re tired and cares enough to ask about you. he tries to cheer you up with coffee and snacks even though you have refused to divulge any of the details of your personal life thus far. what’s the harm in trying to trust him? you feel like you can tell him about this, so you do. and once you do, it’s like you can’t stop.

you tell him all the dirty details of your home life and just how fucked up it is. you tell him about how you’re forced to work a full time job on top of being a full time student to help with your family back at home. it’s not that you mind helping out, but they show you no consideration or care and you’re always left feeling like you’re just there to be their workhorse no matter how many times you tell them that you’re tired. the only time they ever contact you is to try to wring every last penny out of you. your sibling, of course, is the exception, and is the only reason why you keep doing it aside from your unfettered guilt that you were practically born feeling. your need for validation has not sprung from nothing, and it seems like your money is the only way to get it from the people you reluctantly call your family. you don’t delve into details about the abuse you’ve endured, either, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. still, you can't help but love them. you just wish they loved you, too.

when you’re finished speaking, you don’t even realize that you’re crying until beomgyu gingerly wipes your tears away. oh no, you think. you’ve said too much. he’s going to be scared off just like every other guy you’ve told about your emotional baggage. who would want somebody whose life is in shambles? your self esteem is low, your financial circumstances are almost as equally dire, and you have no redeeming qualities you can think of. what have you done?

you hurriedly apologize for your outburst and wipe your tears away in a frenzy. 

“s-sorry. just ignore me,” you say with a shaky breath and he can see you folding into yourself. 

“why would i ignore you?” he asks, cupping your face. “you haven't done anything wrong. i’m so sorry that you’re being treated this way, and i’m even more sorry that you feel the way you do. you don’t deserve this, you know?” 

your eyes snap up to his at his words. does he really mean them? his eyebrows are knitted in concern and he seems like he really does care. 

“it’s… it’s okay. i’m fine. i should be used to it by now, but i’m just so, so tired all of the time. i feel like everybody on this planet just wants to use me,” you sob. “everybody besides chaeyoung a-and now, maybe, you,” you admit, grabbing one of the hands that holds your cheek. he feels like he’s been electrocuted as your words resonate in his heart. he is using you. he is planning on throwing you away at his earliest convenience once he’s done with you. 

but he’s increasingly unsure if he wants to do that, anymore. with every day that you spend together, he finds himself wanting to soak up every part of you. he wants to know everything about you. your likes and dislikes, what makes you tick and what makes you smile, and, now, what makes you feel so sad all of the time. he wants to be the one who takes away all of your exhaustion. he wants to be the shoulder you can cry on. he realizes that he never wants to see you sad ever again, and, more than that, he realizes that he’s felt this way for a while. when he began to genuinely care about you, he doesn’t know for sure, but it may have been the moment you told him how to win chaeyoung over as if you never expected anyone to be kind to you for good reasons. he realizes that he’s wanted to prove you wrong and that you’re worth giving a fuck about ever since then. 

“sorry if that’s too much,” you say in lieu of his pensive silence, pulling away from his touch, but he pulls you into a tight hug before you can fully separate yourself from him. 

“don’t be sorry. i want to hear about these things, if it makes you feel better. i want my girlfriend to trust me,” he says softly. 

“your girlfriend?” you ask incredulously. 

“well, yeah? i mean, if you want to be, of course,” he says sheepishly. 

“of course i do!” you say excitedly. you throw your arms around his neck and pull him into a sweet kiss. your lips are soft and so, so warm. warmer than anything he’s ever felt before.

-

it’s a mere month before graduation, and you and beomgyu have been together for a few months now. every day is blissful. he convinces you to relax, and his mere presence is enough to soothe your nerves. the exhaustion that previously hung around you like a curse is pretty much gone and a spark of life has finally entered your countenance. he feels proud when he thinks that he helped put it there.

every time you’re overwhelmed at work, he seems to notice before you do, and he always stops by with a meal because he already knows you forget to eat when you’re stressed. by the same token, you reciprocate this sentiment by showing up to his apartment and helping him through some of his harder coursework with no complaint, even though your workload is considerably heavier. he resists, at first, but you insist on helping as much as you can and you tell him it makes you happy just to help him a fraction of how he’s helped you. 

you don’t realize that you’ve helped him just as much. you’ve made him into a better person, unconsciously or not. you’re so considerate of his feelings and always make him feel important no matter how busy you are. he’s never felt this way about anyone or anything before, but he’s so grateful you’ve shown him how much love has to offer. love. he never expected to find it in such an unconventional way, but he knows it when he feels it. 

-

heeseung, for his part, is pretty satisfied. after months of chasing, chaeyoung has finally agreed to go on a date with him. he has promised her a picnic and a night of stargazing, which she happily agreed to. when she tells you about her upcoming date with heeseung, you’re a little surprised. what are the chances that beomgyu’s friend knew what you had suggested to beomgyu when you thought he was interested in chaeyoung? but they’re friends. best friends, even. it’s not shocking to think that if heeseung expressed interest in dating chaeyoung, that beomgyu would share what he knows. you snuff the light of suspicion out with a vengeance. hasn’t beomgyu shown you how much he really cares about you? how could you doubt him like that? you’re a bad girlfriend for even entertaining that thought.

-

it’s another dreary day in the library for beomgyu. he just wishes you weren’t working so you could hang at his apartment and make out, but he knows you’re swamped with work these days, so it’s all just a fantasy. that doesn’t keep him from indulging in it, though. when heeseung pulls up a chair next to him, he audibly groans.

“what’s with the attitude?” heeseung playfully chastises. beomgyu doesn’t need to rely on his almost preternatural intuition to know that heeseung is over the moon right now.

“oh, i know. you’re thinking about your little girlfriend, aren’t you?” he teases. 

“so what if i am?” beomgyu snaps, a little too defensively.

“hey, man, i’m just kidding. you’ve done a great job on bagging her for me. my date with chaeyoung went great, by the way. thanks for asking.” beomgyu just rolls his eyes at heeseung’s obnoxiousness, which, if he recalls correctly, was one of chaeyoung’s turn-offs. 

“i’m glad it went well,” beomgyu says sarcastically, devoid of any sincerity.

“for paying your half of the rent for months, it better have! it was worth it, though. so, so worth it.” 

“what the fuck are you talking about?” a sudden voice cuts in from out of the blue. chaeyoung. oh no. 

“n-nothing,” heeseung says hastily, looking like a deer in headlights. beomgyu can only stare with widened eyes — too shocked to do anything else.

“bullshit. you said you paid his rent because he ‘bagged her’ for you. were you talking about who i think you’re talking about?” heeseung rushes to deny it, but she turns her hardened gaze to beomgyu.

“were you fucking talking about who i think you’re talking about?” chaeyoung repeats through gritted teeth. beomgyu feels his heart sinking to his stomach. his whole world has come crashing down around him and he feels like he could just die from the shame. he wishes he could deny it, but her eyes are teeming with a sense of knowing. 

“y-yes,” he says softly while breaking eye contact with her and looking at his hands, which he didn’t even know he was wringing. a sudden burst of pain on his cheek tears his gaze away from them, though, as chaeyoung slaps him square across the face.

“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? she trusted you, and you know how hard it is for her to do that. you’re fucking filthy,” she says in rage and disgust. the librarian has now come to investigate the disturbance, but chaeyoung quickly says she’s already on her way out. before she goes, though, she sends one last damning look at beomgyu and leaves her parting words. 

“just you fucking wait until i tell her about this, you son of a bitch.” 

-

beomgyu is anxious beyond words. he doesn’t know if he should call you, text you, or show up to your apartment groveling on his knees. he doesn’t have the time to do any of it, however, before he sees a text from you saying that you’re coming over. 

when you arrive, that same old tired look you always had before meeting him is there, and it has increased exponentially. gone is the vigor you two had fought so hard to restore. oh no.

he tries to greet you, but you just hold a hand up to stop him in his tracks. you take a seat on the couch and look so tense you could explode at any moment.

“chae already told me, but i want… i need to hear it from you. is it true?” you ask shakily. 

“baby, listen, i was—” 

“is. it. true?” you repeat impatiently. 

“... yes, but i—” 

“i see,” you say with a solemn nod and a tight-lipped smile. his mouth feels dry as he waits for you to elaborate, but after a long, long silence, he realizes that’s all you have to say in the face of his deceit. he wishes you would cry, or be angry and yell at him for lying to you. it’s infinitely worse, somehow, to see you accepting it as if it was a matter of course. and, to you, it is. of course he wouldn’t like you — let alone love you. of course it was all a sick, cosmic joke. that’s what you are. this is what you deserve, and you’re an idiot for expecting anything different from him or anyone else.

“well, i guess you’ve won the bet,” you sigh, rising from your seat and smoothing down your skirt. “congratulations.” 

his eyes are watery now, but you perceive it as the reaction of a child getting caught doing something he knew was wrong in the first place. you have accepted things with the type of resignation only a truly defeated person would have, and it breaks him more than he ever supposed anything could.

“don’t be sad,” you can’t help but add when you notice his upper lip trembling. “you can smile; i know you want to. now you won’t have to deal with me anymore. i’m sorry for wasting your time.” your words snatch him out of his entranced state and he’s rushing to get his next thoughts out with a desperation he can only describe as primal. 

“n-no, that’s not it at all! and don't be sorry! i… i’m the one who’s sorry. i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean —” 

“it’s okay,” you cut in with a knowing smile, which shatters the last remnants of his heart. “i understand. i really, really do. i know you’re not a bad person. it’s my fault for taking this whole thing too seriously.” your smile is still there, but it has twisted into something truly ironic and teeming with disgust. not toward him, he realizes, but toward yourself. “i should’ve known better.” 

he’s rendered speechless once again, but you don’t give him a chance to collect his thoughts before walking away, closing the door lightly behind you. what words can he say to you to undo what he’s done? he wishes he could dig out his heart so you’d understand his true intentions. they were ill at first, yes, but they’ve evolved into something different entirely. something so sincere and pure he doesn’t dare to show it to anyone other than you. and you’re so calm about this entire situation, it’s driving him mad. how could you think so lowly of yourself as to see this coming? how could you think his actions were anything less than appalling and cruel? and, oh god, what has he done?

-

you’re okay. you really, really are. living in the aftermath of what you had foolishly believed was love is painful, to say the very least, but there are worse things, after all. what those things could be, you can’t seem to think of at the moment, but you know they exist even if you don’t have the energy to ponder them at present. chaeyoung, as expected, is more loving than ever. she rarely leaves your side these days. she’s always been clingy, but there is a level of doting and care she reaches without complaint on her part. beomgyu, to his credit, has seemingly taken the hint and fucked off. he doesn’t show up to your shared class and you took the liberty of blocking him on everything you could possibly think of. even it he hadn’t gotten the memo, chaeyoung is by your side like a rabid dog and she will gladly bite if he approaches. you’re grateful for that, you guess. him essentially cutting himself out of your life has made pretending like he never existed much easier. there are still traces of him, though, and they haunt you viciously. 

-

there’s a party celebrating your impending graduation, and you would rather die than go, to be honest, but chaeyoung makes such a convincing argument that you can’t help but relent after hearing her drone on and on about how you deserve to have fun and let loose since your college years are ending and you have yet to fully put yourself out there in terms of student life. you will, in all likelihood (and with any hope), never see most of these people again, so will it kill you to just let go for once? on top of that, it will be a welcome distraction from your downward spiral that inevitably comes when you think of beomgyu. 

you don’t really know what you’re doing when it comes to dressing up besides the basics, but chaeyoung knows more than her fair share and is all too willing to doll you up in a way you previously thought was impossible. after her flitting hands while doing your makeup and careful choices in wardrobe, you barely recognize yourself. for once, you feel good. you feel confident. you even almost feel worthy of standing alongside a drop-dead gorgeous girl such as your best friend, so when you enter the door of the house party, you don’t feel as small as can be under the scrutinizing gazes of all the usual party goers. one familiar pair of eyes watches you in awe, though, even if you don’t notice. you’re much too engrossed in the atmosphere of pure fun to recognize anything else.

you’re not really one for dancing — far too awkward and uncoordinated to really try it — so you sit as comfortably as you can on the decidedly uncomfortable couch and sip on what must be your third drink this evening. you’re smiling in contentment at the sight of chaeyoung dancing with her new crush. if you can't be happy, you’ll be satisfied with her happiness, instead. this is how it should be, you think. this is how it always should’ve been. 

you’re so stuck in your thoughts you don’t even turn your head at the feeling of the couch sinking as a boy sits next to you. that is, until he clears his throat and you’re snapping your eyes up to meet his.

“i’m taehyun. i’ve never seen you around before,” he casually remarks. he’s really beautiful, like, fresh off the runway beautiful. you almost wonder if he’s talking to somebody else for a second, but his expectant eye contact with you tells you otherwise. you shyly introduce yourself and mumble something about parties not particularly being your scene.

“really?” he smiles. “that’s a shame. i wish i’d seen you before tonight.” you can’t help but blush. “i’d like to get to know you, if that’s alright.” you’re not so stupid as to fall for a man with honeyed words, at least not again, but you find yourself caring less and less about the repercussions as your head feels foggier and foggier. so what if this is a sick joke? you’re almost out of this hellish purgatory you call school life, anyway. even if taehyun doesn’t end up liking you, what’s the harm in indulging in a little fun while you can? you’re not going to put your heart on the line again — you’re too jaded for that — but maybe you can enjoy his company for what it is, no matter how fleeting it may be. so before you can think any better of it, you agree. 

or, at least, you try to, but your sentiment is cut short with a sharp tugging of your arm.

“beomgyu, what are you doing?” you hiss as he leads you to an unfortunate-smelling bathroom.

“i-i need to talk to you,” he replies sheepishly. 

“what’s there to talk about?” you ask with a sigh. “i’m not mad at you. i forgive you. so what else do you want from me?” you actually seem a little annoyed, which he has never seen before from you. it causes him to sputter and almost lose his train of thought.

“you know what i want to talk about…” he says meekly. 

“oh? the fact that you dated me and said you loved me because of a bet?” you can't help the bitterness that laces its way around the edges of your words.

“yes, it was for a bet, but then it wasn’t about that,  anymore. i really did fall for you. i… i love you.” 

“i don't believe you.”

“b-but i mean it! how can i make you trust me?” his voice is overrun with desperation, but you quirk your eyebrow at his words.

“you can't make me do anything. i don't know what you're getting out of this, maybe some sick satisfaction that you can pick me back up again at your leisure? maybe you just feel bad for me? whatever it is, i don't care anymore.”

“no! listen to me, i really do care about you! i know i hurt you, but let me be there for you. i… i'll prove to you how much i care. how much i love you.” you're quiet for a long, long time. an excruciatingly long time. you seem to consider every syllable he just uttered, but you don’t seem fazed by his sincere words at all, and he worries he's losing you for good. before he can stop himself, he gently cups your face in his hands and tenderly runs the pads of his thumbs across your cheeks. you don't push him away and, for that, he’s grateful.

“alright. alright, i do believe you. i believe you love and care about me,” you admit with a sigh. he lets out a shaky breath he didn’t even know he was holding in before he presses his forehead against yours. thank god you believe him. maybe you don’t trust him yet, but he’ll do everything in his power to earn it back.

“i believe you, but it’s not enough,” you say resolutely, grabbing his hands and prying them off of you. his heart sinks and he can’t help but feel the sting of tears in his eyes.

“i forgive you, i really, really do, but you can't treat people however you want and expect things to go back to the way they were just because you’re sorry. i can’t… i won’t accept that.” he winces and he makes no move to stop his tears from falling now, but he bites his lip to stop the whimpers.

“you know me. you know how hard it is for me to… to believe that i’m worth loving.” he flinches at your self-deprecating words and he wishes he could kiss your face and erase any doubts of your worthiness. you are the most lovable person in the world to him. he wants to shake you and demand that you see it, but what right does he have to do so? instead, all he can do is shake his head furiously in denial of your sentiments.

“and everything you said, everything you did, just makes me believe that i’m right about myself. even if you mean it now, i can't get over the fact that it was all a lie from the start. if you love and care about me like you say you do, don’t you think i deserve better than that? better than having to be reminded that the person i love the most in this world only chose me because he wanted to get his rent paid?”

“i’m… i’m so sorry,” he repeats with a whine. “i wish i could go back in time and redo everything.”

“but you can’t,” you say softly, and he whines again, like an animal. 

“i promise… i promise that i really love you, okay? and i’ll wait for as long as i have to for you to see that,” he says between sobs. you can’t help but feel sorry for him. you’ve seen beomgyu cry from stress, but never from the pure, unadulterated amount of pain he’s feeling as of now. you almost want to acquiesce and let him have his way, but you can’t do that. you don’t have much dignity to speak of, but even you can’t tolerate a betrayal this sizable. maybe, before you met him, you would have, but ironically enough, his presence has taught you that you should never compromise yourself like that for anyone. not even for the one you love the most.

“thank you, beomie,” you say softly, “but i don’t want you to wait for me. i want you to be happy, okay?” you ask as you stand on your tiptoes and press a goodbye kiss to his forehead. “and i’ll try to be happy, too.” without waiting for an answer, you leave the bathroom and shut the door behind you. 

“i don’t want to be happy if it’s not with you,” he mumbles bitterly, but you’re too far away to hear it.

notes pt. 2: is this cheesy? YES. do i care? ONLY A LITTLE BIT. anyway like i said lmk if u want a part two <3

taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @zzhyuu @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @defnotleee @midwinterblizzard

*if you would like to be added to my permanent taglist or my taglist for the (maybe) upcoming next part, lmk!

[bwat5-blog]

Why Didn't We See Cait Tell Vi About Jinx?

**Spoilers For Arcane***

There has been a tremendous amount of conversation regarding Jinx's fate in the end of the show. I think by now, most of us seem to agree she is alive. There is a significant amount of evidence. But one of the conversations I have enjoyed reading different takes on, is did Caitlyn tell Vi her suspicions? should she? and why didn't we see one way or the other? This will be fairly short compared to my usual work, I just wanted to delve into these questions, offer my thoughts, and hopefully get some good discussion out of it!

THE EVIDENCE: (In no particular order)

The Shimmer streak right as the explosion occurs

I have seen some argue that it's simply the purple inside the bomb. This is possible of course but it seems extremely directed.

2. Caitlyn's investigations

When it is all said and done, we have a quiet moment with Caitlyn investigating the cooling/vent system of the tower where Jinx died, as well has holding the mostly intact head of her monkey bomb. the implication here is quite clear. But of course it is not definitive. They are only telling us she reason to be thinking about Jinx being alive.

3. Full Circle

The second shot is the last one of the show.. if we didn't have the first shot to fall back to it would feel quite random but if you think back to that, it seems quite clear what they are implying. Additionally although I don't have a good way to share it here, the score in this moment is variation on "Dear friend across the river" which we hear Powder singing to open the whole show.

4. Glitched The End

That is the very last shot we are given and the animation is very in line with the glitch style of Jinx we have come to know so well.

5. Arcane Afterglow For Act 3

Skip to 1:19 if that is all you are here for

________________________________________________

There are others for sure. I saw someone in the community post some pages from the artbook showing things like "i'm still here" I believe it was. And I know there have been other interviews and such. This is just what I am personally aware of. And while of course I am just a regular fan and I don't know any better than any of you, this is all enough for me to feel confidant saying she's alive. I am of a similar opinion to many I have seen. I do not think Caitlyn had told Vi by the end of what we saw, but I think it's because she herself is not 100% sure yet.

Why isn't she sure?

Well even using the evidence I listed, only one out of those five points is something Caitlyn would be aware of. Now I do think she is probably fairly confidant, as the implication of her investigating at all was very clear. But keeping in mind that she knows how badly Vi wanted to save Jinx, and the enormity of the guilt Vi must feel given that Jinx had to save her (Vi was legitimately having a dissociative episode born of her PTSD and there was nothing she could do. Don't start with me Anti-Vi'ers), I think Caitlyn would be very careful to not give Vi false hope.

Would Caitlyn Even Tell Vi and Risk Her leaving?

I think so. And my reasoning is that she has done it before. When she paved the way for Vi to free Jinx, there was every possibility the sisters would vanish into the night and Caitlyn would never see them again. With that in mind, and their dynamic in general with Caitlyn probably feeling she has a tremendous amount of trust to keep rebuilding between them, I seriously doubt she would risk hiding something so large from Vi if she felt confidant Jinx was alive. Jinx wanted Vi to live free of their past and find her happiness. I think Caitlyn would honor giving Vi the choice and hope for the best. Especially taking into account the whole dynamic around Caitlyn showing Vi how much she loves and respects not only her, but her heart. She cherishes the heart that drives Vi to protect those she loves. I don't see Caitlyn betraying that by trying to control her.

Is it better for Vi to know?

This one is tough. On the one hand, we have to factor all the things we already discussed in. We know Vi wanted them to be together. We know she is probably torturing herself over her sister's perceived death. But, we also have to consider the other side. Because by the end the Sisters are family again. So why would Jinx leave and not tell Vi the truth?:

Jinx herself will never know peace in Piltover or Zaun (at least as things are now). I'm not doing a whole thing here, but in Zaun they all want her to be their symbol. And in Piltover, regardless of her heroism or the reason she did what she did, there will always be stares and whispers for her crimes. Not to mention the whole process of whatever resolving the issues of her crimes would mean in the first place. It would not only be trouble for her, but probably for Vi and Caitlyn as well. She gave Vi permission to move forward with her life, and we saw Vi take it which is a reason to be hopeful. But if I were Jinx, and I had decided to leave, I would be very aware of the possibility that Vi would feel honor bound to leave the love she had found, and turn her back on the peace Jinx tried to convince her she deserves. Because while Vi is full to the brim with wonderful qualities, her journey to believing her own self-worth is still very new. And I think Jinx wisely would be worried Vi could not let her go alone. Just as Vi has to start finding herself free of their past, Jinx needs the same. It's not that she doesn't love Vi. I think she has made it EXTREMELY CLEAR that she does. But in terms of her mental state and her arc, I think she has resolved the conflict between the shattered ghost of Powder, and Silco's terrorist daughter. she IS JINX. She is no longer A JINX. And I think to find out what that means, she has to step away from the shadows of her past and start completely over. Just as Vi has to start finding out who she is without the crushing guilt and pain of their childhood. Listen yall, I know I can be quite harsh on Jinx especially because Vi is my favorite. But let me bring you back to something I first realized in my deep-dive on the sisters relationship.

Vi is a courageous, loving, and loyal sister who would fist fight the devil himself with one hand tied behind her back for her loved ones. But she is still only a person. And as always, the brilliantly heart wrenching writing of this show tells us exactly how Jinx feels about her older sister in the opening of the show, and proves it again at the end:

Even when they were little girls on that bridge, Vi walked tall, trying to shield Powder from the horror around them. But when it became too much, when the horror, and the pain, and the loss overwhelmed her, Powder threw her small body over her big sister trying with everything in her to be that shield for Vi.... Just as she would the next time Violet needed her...

I am firmly and completely convinced she would not leave Vi like that unless she truly felt it was the right thing for both of them. She has come to far and been through too much. Agree or disagree, I think she is doing her best to be that sister Vi deserves once more. Even if its painful.

What I Hope:

My hope, is that Caitlyn shares her information with Violet when she feels she has enough to not devastate her beloved with false hope. And that hearing that, Vi will choose to honor her sister's decision, as well as see the truth that she herself deserves love, and peace, and safety, and be at peace. My hope is that in the end, Vi can see Jinx's decision was not one of neglect, or abandonment, or crisis. But just as Vi had always tried so hard to be Jinx needed, in that moment Jinx saw what they both needed, and made the hard call, to give them both the chance the world tried to steal from them.

Thank you all for reading. I know I have been a tad feisty lately and I wanted to get back to talking about what I love about this show! These characters and this story connect with us all on such deep levels because of their humanity. Their flaws, their strengths, the moments they succeed and the moments they fall short. Ultimately, we can't know if Violet will do the right thing if and when she finds out. But she and Caitlyn give me hope. I hope this has done the same for you.

Never stop standing for the stories that matter. See yall next time!

[deliciousnecks]

Ok, let me start with this by saying that I'm not writing to change anyone's point of view, because honestly? don't care and I'm tired. I just want to share my opinion over this matter. everyone sees and experiences things differently, so with that out of the way...

Like I knew before the season started that there was going to be issues with people if nandor & guillermo went canon, because it wasn't going to happen how they wanted it, if the characters didn't ended up kissing or fucking or the usual, and here we are now..

Anyway! people saying that "we're settling for scraps" let me tell you that we're not. You want a explit love confession, but this is Nandor, that was not going to happen. Now, people say "oh, but he confessed his love to the guide, to all those other people" he didn't, because he was not in love to begin with, he said all those words but there was no feeling or real meaning to them, it was only a rehearsed speech that at this point he has repeated more than 1300+ times. what he feels for guillermo is love, selfless, caring, genuine, love, and this is why this relationship between them feels so different to the other relationships he have with those around. Him giving Guillermo another one of those "I love you" confessions would have made him just another one in the list, but he's not.

This "Unbreakable alliance" speech, has more meaning than any other "I love you" that this dude has been parroting and saying to the first stranger that crosses his way and decided to be nice to him. Also, I know that some people were like "but there's no kiss so it doesn't count" I'm sorry, but like... I'm gonna be honest with you, i think that would have been a bit OOC for both characters to all of a sudden kiss, in front of everyone and the cameras and all that shit. I have always imagined these two having their first kiss in a more private setting and perhaps away from fucking cameras, but hey! that's me.

Let's also not forget in all this, that we have never seen Nandor like this. Nandor all this time has been nothing buy a depressed sad potato even when he was been "in love" with all those others, but finally after so many years, he's feeling alive, because being with Guillermo, having this bond with him, having him as his equal and in his life forever, has given his entire existence a new purpose and a new meaning. He can't see himself living without guillermo now. Guillermo has brought meaning to his life after who knows how many centuries, and he's willing to become a better person for him.

Also! a bonus here! people saying that all the progress of the season was lost and we're back to s1 just because Nandor told Guillermo to let go of his hand, like... are you fucking kidding me? are we for real here? that's just nandor being nandor, that's his personality. what? did you think that just because the guy found the meaning of his life in guillermo (the love of his life. yes. i said it it) he's about to change his entire personality within seconds? it doesn't work like that, no relationship works like that.

so, no, we're not settling for scraps, we're not being delusional. if you're not happy with this, that's ok, but don't assume that everyone is going to feel the same way you do.

For those that are happy with this moment, this was more deep and meaningful and intense than a simple "i love you" or a "simple hand clasp". These are two characters that have realized that they want each other in each other's life, and not because it's a MUST, but because they have chosen for this to be this way, because they want it to be this way, and no one or anything can break this, not even all these difference they have going on between them, one being a vampire, the other being a human & slayer. nandor literally said "fuck that" and let's be together forever.

[noircheols]

🪓୨୧ — THE MONSTER AND ME . . . ♡

synopsis. scenarios of seventeen and their monster!s/o

genre. fluff, established relationship, horror (ish) prns. they/them cw. NOT PROOF-READ, gore (duh), death, being murdered (decapitation, fire), the ring movie reference, I PERCHANCE HAVE APPROPRIATED WITCHCRAFT IM SO SORRY TO ANY WHO PRACTICE, pet names (sweetheart), toxic relationships, cheating, allusions to suicide, GROSS!!!! in a sappy way

an. happy (belated) halloween!! I COULDNT COMPLETE THIS SMH CUS I HAD MEETINGS FOR A WHOLE WEEK

THE VAMPIRE. ⸺ seungcheol, mingyu, seokmin, seungkwan, chan

he thinks it's cute; your love of fashion. how every outfit you manage to coordinate is always so emblematic of your personality and the long life you have led.

"where's this one from?" he asks, gingerly twiddling the cool metal of the necklace dripping just below your chest. he could pretend all he wanted, but 400 years of living didn't fail you when it came to hearing the surge of blood pumping through his heart. and it certainly didn't help that he was slightly blushing. it makes you happy to know that even after three years of living together, you still had that impact on him.

"this one's from 1894!" you moved closer to him, wanting to feel his warm skin against your cold flesh. "long story short this random guy who stole from the nearby village came to my cabin to hide but i kinda-sorta-maybe decapitated him!!"

"that's nice sweetheart WAIT WHAT"

he also thinks it's cute how desperate you are for cuddles. he is more than aware that you love the sound of blood flowing and how much you love being pressed into him, because it meant you could hear it up close. he knows it has nothing to do with you viewing him as your next meal, but the reassurance that he was still alive. he was not gone yet, like all the others in your life. he knows you would never dare to go as far as graze your teeth against his skin. although... he wishes you would. what? he goes crazy for your teeth poking out every single time you smile. why else do you think he puts so much effort into being funny?

the most cute thing about you though? when you pout over pictures. what's the point of mirrors and phones if you can't see if you look good or not? if you can't record the most precious moments of your long life? how are you supposed to know if purple is your colour? but he simply laughs when he hears your complaints, kissing you deeply and telling you "you are everything i could ever have wished for."

THE GHOST. ⸺ jun, wonwoo, minghao, vernon

he knew something was wrong with his house the day he moved in. when the wires were still intact, the TV kept switching from his desired great british bake-off to the deluded brain-rotted show that was dance moms. what? can you blame a guy for wanting to see what they had in store for patisserie week? it only got worse from then on. he knew he had reached the boiling point when he had left for groceries, only for the magnets to be arranged ever so crudely.

TV

sorry, but he didn't have the budget to buy more magnets. in this economy too? whatever, maybe mindlessly scrolling through netflix would give him purpose. as he settled himself into his couch once more, he noticed another set of eyes. big, doe-like eyes, but haunting. his imagination, right?

another click, and he noticed an elbow tear through the screen, slightly distorting the actor's face. he wished he had the strength to get up from his seat, but something about you was pinning him there. you were like a predator staking out its prey, the way you focussed on him. but good lord you were hotter than anybody else alive. maybe everybody else unalive too. he knows now that he doesn't regret sitting there. legs began unravelling themselves as you slithered out the TV screen, crawling on all fours. you stood up as you unfurled your hand towards his chest, he braced himself, hands digging deep into the sofa. his eyes still remained trained on you. was it right to think you are attractive?

"chill out, i'm a ghost." you smoothly responded, trying to hide your smirk from the startled man sitting in front of you. "although... you don't seem too scared of me. what are you? are you also a ghost?" you mused, floating just enough to try and touch his hair. it looks so soft, you mused to yourself. when's the last time you played with somebody's hair again? he yelped a little, shutting his eyes for what was about to happen. to your disappointment, your hand went right through his head.

"so you're the one messing around with my TV- putting on all those trashy 2000s reality shows." he huffed, brushing himself off. weird. you put your hand threw his head but he doesn't feel anything.

"guilty as charged." you sighed, spinning around mid-air. you swirled around the man, fascinated by the newest tenant. "can you blame me for being nostalgic?" you explained how you had moved into this house with your then-boyfriend. things began to go sour and you never knew why. all you knew was that every single time he came home angry and slamming the door behind him, you knew it was time to turn on the TV and melt the world around you. soon enough you realized he was cheating on you, and when you confronted him about it, push came to shove. your last memories were the TV engulfed in flames, and you choking on smoke as the door quietly closed itself. "i used my ghost skills of manipulating electric currents for the first time by turning on the news and realizing that the police ruled my death as a suicide."

you have both developed a symbiotic relationship. he would let you watch your TV shows and re-introduce you to the joys of the mortal world, like reading books and making soup. he didn't banish you from your house, but looked after your every need (its shocking how many things ghosts need), and for the first time, loved.

as a ghost, you could touch whatever was important to you when you were alive. the TV, fruit tarts, and the magnets you would hang your to-do lists on. weirdly enough, you could touch your new roommate. "maybe i'm becoming super important to you." he teased. "would that make you feel weird?" you remarked, as you entwined your fingers among his. "no at all." he hummed, enjoying the way you traced the warm skin of his palm. peering up to look at him, you eagerly asked. "am i important to you, then?"

more than you could ever know.

THE WITCH. ⸺ jeonghan, joshua, soonyoung, jihoon

as a witch, the burning of incense and candles were familiar spells, intended to expel bad energy. but right now, you need more than to expel bad energy. you needed a guarantee from the universe that the life you lead now would be like this forever. being a witch was isolating, devoting time to a continuous cycle of researching and perfecting non-stop. like being a phd candidate, only minus the glory of being called "doctor." normally, witches have familiars, or "animal friends" as disney would like to call them that substitute the regular human's need for friends. but you didn't have one of those either. it was why it was such a blessing when he had entered your life by accident. all you remember is him asking for your number and the next thing you know you spent your days lounging in his studio apartment, with the coffee table scattered with copies of old esoteric spells from a bygone time.

as you heard the apartment entrance creak open, you knew your beloved was back. likewise, he knew you were doing well. the smell of cinnamon burning was comforting to him because it meant you were at your best condition and continuously experimenting with new spells. it was your way of saying "i've been thinking about you." that you spent hours concocting the best spells to guarantee your and his eternal happiness. it was an absured thought to him, for you to be slaving away when you already had what you wanted.

"i'm sure you don't need to worry, we're just fine without magic." he remarked, flopped onto the couch. he gazed into the kitchen, noticing you submerging a piece of paper in a bottle of water.

"have you ever thought that magic is what's keeping us together? and you're taking it for granted?"

"touche. but i still think-"

you could argue his spells were just as effective too, and that maybe he was a better witch than you could ever be. the way he brews your coffee just right in the morning, like an effective energy potion singing through you and keeping you awake. maybe that coffee also contains a love spell in it, because it makes you think about him non-stop. after all, the only reasonable explanation for the blooming feeling your chest had to be magic. "when will he come home?" "he's gonna be so excited when he figures out i made his favourite!" all those dumb, sappy, romantic thoughts plagued your mind. it's humiliating, but... maybe love is a force that not even the greatest of witches can control. wait- why did you catch him looking at your spells? did he take a peek at your notes?

@noircheols DO NOT RE-POST/COPY/TRANSLATE

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf

A Vision of Never

Pairing: Robb Stark x F!Baratheon!Reader

Length: 5.2k

Warnings: recent childbirth, talk of pregnancy and labour, past character deaths, fluff, child rearing

Notes: A little "what if" about Robb having lived, in this version of the story the world isn't ending and Luwin is still alive, just pretend it makes sense. Previous Main Chapter Here, Series Masterlist Here

Things had only accidentally worked out well this way. The timing of his sons outburst correlated perfectly with Robb pressing his lips to your forehead, and muttering for you to sleep. It hadn’t been as long this time, and while going just as smoothly, it was far easier on Robb’s mind not to have you labouring for so many hours, only so much Maester Luwin being able to do to ease the pain in your state. Still some time, but not as many hours luckily. The first labour near two years ago now, Robb had as much time as he needed to stay by your side.

The war had moved fast after his Uncle Edmure had married Rosalin Frey. Robb had been as relieved as his mother to find Arya alive, but none too happy that The Hound was the one with her, and subsequently had assumed Robb would pay for his own sisters return seconds after learning she was even still alive but it was you who simply tossed a bag of gold at him, knowing that men of House Clegane were none too pleasant nor peaceful to argue with.

One by one both his sisters were found alive and safe and once word reached shortly to them that not only was King Joffery dead, but Tywin Lannister too, they all knew there was nothing left for them here. No true war to be fought and with the Frey’s loyalty through marriage, what scattered remains of the Lannisters were never making it anywhere near close enough to reclaim the Riverlands nor even consider branching North. They, for now, could go home. And the timing couldn’t have been better.

You were able to spend your final two moons pregnant in Winterfell where you belonged, and while Robb and his siblings prepared the North for a rule that had not been seen for some three hundred years, his mother helped you prepare for your labour. And yet somehow, near two years passed after that and the situation was much the same.

Only now more snow properly fell on the ground and stuck, and the healing of everything passed was getting a little easier, making celebrating this just a bit better.

Much like you two discussed, your child was born a boy, and named promptly after the father you both went to war to rescue in the first place. Normally Ned was well behaved, but Robb suspected he could faintly hear you in labour and that made him upset. Staying with his uncles and aunts, eventually Arya had to be the one to gently knock on the door, poking her head in interrupting the moment trying not to run in and fawn all over the newborn this time, saying that Ned was beyond fussy at this point and none of them could get him to calm down.

That worked out, you were barley awake any longer, your much exerted strength leaving you as Robb had a chance to go find his son, asking his mother to watch over you all while you slept. Something she was more then happy to do, being a grandmother suited her well. Robb suspected too, it somewhat helped fill that hole in her heart that Eddard Stark’s death had left behind. It made him glad, she was never happier then reuniting with her children, and it made her happier so to have a grandson, one named after the husband she lost. He was too young to understand yet, but little Ned helped heal this family more then he knew.

Now though, while giving you a chance to sleep, Robb had worried his sons fears about hearing you in pain that it was over and when you woke up he could come see. For now, he kept him distracted and Robb did that well.

None in Winterfell could say that being King took away his duties as a father. By the time his son was able to start walking, it was easier for you to share raising him. Robb could now do his work with his men, and his son there and not need every ounce of attention on him as a small infant needed. Nearing his second name day was even better. He could walk, and was speaking so much more. You insisted otherwise, but Robb knew his son was so smart just because of you. The moment he uttered something resembling a true word, you had started to encourage it everyday, and here he was. A small boy of two, and when he wanted to be, a talkative little thing.

Currently stood behind him, the main hall was empty, as he held his son upright to stand on the table with his support, mimicking better the sight he’d see. Talking to him quietly about what it was Robb would do as King, and explain more then he could grasp, but Ned enjoyed when his father taught him these things. Turning partially, the sun shined through the windows just at the perfect angle that the reddish auburn of their Tully side matched in their curls. “Do you get bored?”

A grin shined on Robbs face with a laugh, “Do I get bored? What? In meetings?” His son nodding his head, Robb moved to stand a little more to the side where he kissed the side of his head. “Aye, I do. But listening to people I’d rather not, is one of my duties as King. If I can’t fix the small problems my people are having, how do they expect me to fix the big problems?” His face scrunching for a moment, Ned shook his head, Robb being able to understand he was agreeing with him.

More quiet now, Robb looked over his sons shoulder, seeing a more heavy blink in his eye. Asking, “You tired, pup?” Nodding, Robb smiled softly. “Yeah, you want to see if your mother’s awake before you have a nap?” He nodded again, and Robb prompted him to turn around. Scooping his son up into his arms, as his little ones held on meekly, his head falling more into his shoulder.

The path there Robb couldn’t hear it as well through the thick stone walls, but still faintly as the bells still rung. Not many places you had grown up where the bells rung for anything but horror and Robb had been determined to change that. He hadn’t considered just how much like his own father he was, the birth of his second child, a daughter, as the bells rung all day. The sound at least faded the further near his bedchambers he got, his son barley perking up much at the sound of your voice chatting with his mother. You sounded much more energetic then you had before.

“I’m surprised we didn’t know, Maester Luwin had said he was certain of everything.”

Catelyn sounded bemused herself as Robb turned the corner, approaching the door as you all came into sight. It had been quite the shock for everyone, and another reason it was such a suprise, the fact that this labour had gone so smoothly. Maester Luwin predicted it would be a girl, and he was right. But, he later had said that was sometimes uncommon but not impossible, that a mother could carry two children in her womb and none could tell. Your belly grew to be the same size as the last, being able to eat much better the entire pregnancy then catching you up in the last two moons, but none knew until his daughter had been born and you still laboured another child.

It was no wonder you had been so exhausted.

You looked bright eyed over at him as he walked in. The midwives had stayed to help to clean your appearance up despite Robb insisting he didn’t at all care that you looked a mess. Your loose dress had been pulled down as one babe was feeding from your breast. The other likely had been done already, swaddled, bundled and asleep in Catelyns hold. Your voice was still a bit raspy from the energy you had been shot of, but enthusiastic as your sons head perked up right away. “There’s my sweet boy.”

Instantly Ned had moved in Robbs hold, having predicted it as his arms stretched out “Mama,” Robb hushed in his ear to go easy on you before putting him down onto the bed. Making his way over carefully, he could stand only for as long as it took to match what he saw Robb do all the time, press a kiss to your cheek gently before his little legs gave out and sat down. Looking down at the baby, his bright green eyes just like yours looked back to you. “Daddy says I have a new sister and brother.”

Nodding, your gaze trailed down to the babe in your arms. “You do, this is your little brother, and your grandmother has your little sister, Lyanna.” Looking between you both, you nodded your head over to where Catelyn had begun walked to the bed, “Go on, she’s asleep but she really wants to meet you.”

Letting a free hand go long enough to push his curls off his forehead and press a kiss there before he begun moving to meet his sister. Robb had circled around to the other side of the bed where you were, sitting gently to face you as his eyes trailed down to the baby. “Going to be a lot harder to feed them yourself now that there’s two.”

Your grin was gentle and still a bit weak, but just as playful in your eyes. “Maester Luwin assures me as long as I have the patience for it, that won’t be a problem.” Robb only rolled his eyes in a jest before leaning closer. Cupping your cheek gently as he moved to press a kiss to your lips. Chaste and lingering but uncaring with only his mother in the room. Leaning back only enough to meet your eyes, his thumb ran over your soft cheek as you muttered, “I have a feeling this one will be the needy one.”

Nodding down to the baby, Robb smiled. Leaving your cheek to brush his hand over the baby’s back just soft enough that it didn’t interrupt him. “Are you insinuating our little Ned wasn’t needy with you as it was?” Protesting back that it was never as bad as he liked to joke it was, but Robb only laughed. “Maybe, I suppose we’ll see whose the needy one in the next few weeks won’t we? Who knows, with three wolves crying for your attention now, the needy one might be me.”

Halfheartedly hid Robb hear his own mother snap out with bemused ease, “That has always been the case.” Turning with his face twisting in mock offence asking what exactly she meant by that, his mother was sharing a highly entertained look with you behind him, knowing you gave a look that matched how amused she was with herself. “Out of all my children, you had always been the neediest as a baby.”

His gaze dripped downward to a look mocking of disapproval but she could read right through Robb. Especially when he could glance down and watch his son gently holding onto the edges of the blanket little Lyanna was wrapped in, as if knowing he didn’t want to interrupt her own sleep but watching with wide eyes. You caught him right away as he turned back, your own gaze unbearably sweet as Robb looked back.

Just in time as the baby finished, Robb helped you carefully lift him up to burp taking no time at all before his head dropped down a bit into your neck and shoulders much like Ned did with both of you. The baby though hid a bit in your hair, you could read the question in his eyes if you wished for him to take the baby but you shook your head. Happy to keep the little one close as Robb only fixed your dress for you, before leaning to kiss the back of his newborn sons head.

Sensing a figure coming up beside him, Robb turned partway to see Ned crawling over before grabbing him and picking him up onto his lap. Holding him gently, he muttered down, “You want to stay and nap in here?” The little Nod warmed both your hearts as you shifted, your arm raising enough so that he had the space to crawl into your side, curling into you right away and still small enough that he wasn’t in the way of the baby.

Turning to glance at his mother, Robb nodded to the other side of the bed. Moving to sit next to you, but not before reaching over, to gently take his daughter from his mother, holding her close as he smiled fondly at the sight. “I’ll let your men know not to intrude for the time being.”

Muttering a genuine thank you, Catelyn smiled with shining affection in her eyes. Her husband may not be here to see it, but she was so grateful that she was here to see it for him. Their first boy together, now with a growing family of his own. Twins, if she could tell Eddard now. That Robb didn’t just have his second child, but it was twins. Mother protect her, was this castle going to be full of chaos in no time with three Stark toddlers running around.

She could recall standing outside of the Twins right before Edmure’s wedding, and seeing how happy Robb was at your side and wishing for nothing but to be able to go home and try to rebuild. It felt almost out of reach then, but it was here, and she closed the door gently, watching as Robb carefully held his baby girl while sitting beside you. The family she always wanted Robb to have.

Your eyes trained down on your two young boys, you felt Robb warm at your side as you gently shifted just enough to lean somewhat against him. His warm voice so soothing in your ear, “Have I mentioned that I’m proud of you yet.” Muttering that yes he had, many times, Robb grinned. “Aye, but I will say it again. I’m so proud of you.”

Turning to meet his bright blue eyes, you both felt a comfort wave over you before looking back to your newest son. A whisper on your lips, “What are we going to name him?” A hum of question came from Robbs lips, so you clarified. “Your son, we’ve had Lyanna’s name picked out for years now. We never talked about another boy name.”

You could feel Robb grinning, but didn’t know why. “Yes we did.” Turning to look at him, while gently shifting the baby now that he was fast asleep to lay out in your arms, his head covered by the top of the blanket next to Lyanna’s, Robb continued. “We agreed on a name the same night we picked out the name for these two.” His head nodding down to first Lyanna and then Ned, who too had fallen asleep so quickly.

Your brows narrowed in thought, and Robb knew with a playful, bemused grin exactly the moment you recalled it. Your face dropping amusingly flat as you rolled your head to the side with a raised brow. “Robb, he is not going to like that and you know it.”

He only grinned more, kissing what of your head he could reach. “If he were bothered to come visit again before they were born, like he promised, he might have gotten a choice in the matter.” You muttered that he had a lot on his place, but Robb only settled that. “I know, love. I’m teasing, he has his reasons. But, we also have ours.”

Both of you looking to the baby, you could see it. How much the name would suit him, just as Ned suited your first boy, and Lyanna suited the little girl now asleep in her fathers arms. A laugh huffed through your breath as he asked what was it. “If you asked me what? Five? Six years ago, what my life would’ve looked like today, I’d never have said this.”

“Neither would I.” His thumb gently ran over his daughters cheek, both your sons has your green eyes, but Lyanna had his blue eyes. Ned was growing up to look like a perfect blend of both of you, but he was nothing but eager to see what these two grew up to look like, who’d look like who and everything else. “But I’d never want anything else.”

Meeting your gaze again, Robb leaned over once more as you tried to gently meet his lips. Nothing greedy or needing, but deep and lingering as your three small children slept all around you. Resting your heads against the other as you muttered more low, for his ears only. “Cersei tried warning me. About not to fall in love with you.” He tried looking at you closer, a scowl forming in his brows but you didn’t look away from where your thumb ran over youngest sons cheek. “Before we arrived in Winterfell, she tried to warn me. That you’d disappoint me one day, that you’d move on, not want me. To give you your children, and only ever love them because I’d never get it from you. She tried telling me something similar, if perhaps a bit less morose when I was a girl too. I’d think about who I’d marry one day, and never came up with an answer of a man I would genuinely love.”

Something distant but amused twisted in Robbs features as he spoke up, “Didn’t you sabotage Cersei once? When she tried publicly announcing a betrothal?” You laughed right away, the memory so clear as Robb joined. “Little did you know then, you were merely saving yourself for me.”

Sighing happily, you leaned back against him, his head resting more atop yours. “I should’ve known how easy I’d fall for you on our wedding night.” Elaborating at his further hum of question. “I was terrified of it all. If you’d want a bedding ceremony, the bedding itself. I was terrified. But you had convinced me to be comfortable in what? Minutes? It was strange how easy it felt to be willing to do it with you.”

His lips again pressed against your hair. “I know I seemed eager, but I really would’ve been alright if you didn’t want too. Would’ve helped you change into something more comfortable, and at least helped you get used to sleeping beside me.” You only muttered that you didn’t need help with that, and Robb laughed, trying to hold back not to wake Lyanna in his arms. “Aye, that was after I had taken you twice though. Hard to not fall asleep beside me when I had you clawing down my back.”

Hissing with an instant fluster, “I did not-”

Robb only cut you off, his face so bright and amused at your instant reaction as if you didn’t presently have three children together. “I had the marks for days to prove it, my love. You’re lucky I dress myself, otherwise you’d have come back to a reputation of yourself already being a little she wolf.” Flustered, you only muttered that he had given you that reputation in the army camp, Robb laughed again. “Wanted my men to know that nothing they could buy would beat what I had every night for free.”

Shaking your head, Robb could read the still flustered look in you but also something playful. He spoke again before you had the chance too, but with something he knew you didn’t expect. “I’m sorry it took so long. To give you a baby. You never said it, but I knew you were frustrated with yourself the longer it never happened.” He was right, you had never said it because you didn’t even wish to think it. You were scared to tell him when you finally were, thinking you’d burden him at the worst possible time.

But then you received the news. That Bran and Rickon were thought dead, and his own grandfather had passed. With Catelyn still imprisoned having released Jaime Lannister, and Edmure’s foolish search for glory leading to losing the chance both to kill The Mountain and aid in your fathers capture of Kings Landing, all felt lost. Robb felt he had nothing but you left, and only the small barley grown baby in your belly seemed like there was a shred of hope. Without that, he might have felt he didn’t have much left to fight for, and you dared not think what would’ve happened then. If Robb truly felt alone and betrayed by everyone around him.

Even now, sometimes you both pondered if this peace would stay. Word from the Riverlands of the happenings in Kings Landing would reach you both, and it seemed at least, that peace would not go away for some time. Your father still on a fight for the Iron Throne looked more promising now then ever before. With Tommen as King, young and sweet and inexperienced he held no chance. Cersei it seemed was busy making a mess of things worse for him, and part of you felt sympathy. She in a few weeks had lost her eldest son and her father, both of which were said to be done at the hands of her own brother. You knew Sansa was not involved. Petyr Baelish had helped her flee Kings Landing, but was intercepted by Dacey Mormont and a squadron of men.

Robb and Catelyn knew that he would try and hide her in the Vale with her aunt Lysa, and sent Dacey to retrieve her. Luckily, even without having met Dacey herself, going with a woman of the North, a woman whose own title was trusting, a sworn shield of Robb Stark, managed to get her back.

Once you were able to ride home, the Ironborn all but fled. They stood no chance against the full strength of the Northern army with Robb leading and yet you still heard no word of Theon. Bran and Rickon weren’t dead as feared, they had fled and returned once Robb had, but none knew where Theon was. You didn’t want to know, in truth. He had betrayed Robb, betrayed you, betrayed the Starks and the place that was more home to him then the Iron Islands ever would be and he ran like a coward.

He knew he didn’t have the Stark boys, and he must have feared Robb turning around to take his head. Torched the castle and fled, where he was now, Pyke, dead, or something far worse, you did not wish to hear of it. He chose his path, and he chose wrong. And he decided to live with the consequences. According to Roose Bolton, his bastard Ramsay had gotten to the castle after the Ironborn torched it and left.

But now? You all sat in Robb and your bedchambers. Winterfell rebuild, family all reunited again, and peace was found in the new again Kingdom. Your sweet son, little Ned with auburn curls just like his father and green eyes just like you, cuddled asleep in your side. The shining bright light he didn’t know he was, just your baby boy truly. In Robbs arms, his newborn daughter, small and sweet. Named after Ned Stark’s long passed sister, Robbs tribute to reunite them with new life as they reunited in death.

You had expected her. Maester Luwin said by the way you were carrying, and the sudden and frustrating new craving you had for sweets were all indications of a girl. Robb had been elated, not a single thought in his head but getting to have a little girl of his own. He had helped raise his little sisters, he would be perfectly prepared for a girl of his own.

Saying to you in these very chambers that night, you only a few moons in but showing earlier then you did even last time, Robbs hands were on your stomach all the time. He’d kiss your stomach saying goodnight to his daughter, then carefully bring little Ned to do the same, telling him to say goodnight to his sister. Only babbles at first, but once he started to speak it got better.

Even now, Robb had told him his sister’s name and he couldn’t quite say it perfectly. He knew the name, and how it sounded, but as he did with many words he could say them just not eloquently. “Lya” he called her. A feeling in you that would be her nickname for some time. Robb though, he had put his son to bed, and held you looking out the window as the snow fell that night many months ago, the same window you both stood together at, minutes before he pulled you into his bed.

One hand firmly on your stomach as he spoke. “I don’t want her growing up the way you did.” Silent as you let him elaborate, pulling you just a tad closer. “A distant father, not letting you feel loved the way a father should love his daughter. I don’t ever want our little girl to grow up feeling anything close to that.” You only muttered that you didn’t think that would be the case, but he insisted you listen. “Just because you know something, my love, doesn’t mean you don’t still worry about. Remember how you knew I thought you were beautiful all through your pregnancy and after, but you still worried I wouldn’t want you anymore?”

A laugh left you, Catelyn had to help you then. Telling Robb a sort of sickness of the mind infected new mothers and filled their heads with worries and doubts beyond reason and being a mother herself worked very hard to help you realize that you had nothing to fear. Even then, you still worried some days. Robb had you long passed that now, but that night he knew and understood why you’d think of your future daughter and fear her repeating your life.

But as Robb held little Lyanna now, an adorable baby girl who was at complete peace sleeping in his arms, Robb knew there was nothing to worry about. He adored Ned, and was very vocal about that fact and he’d be the same to his newborn child, both of them.

Seven hells, he thought. Twins. He wanted a large family with you, but the gods had just made that want so much easier for him to obtain. The confusion when you still seemed to labour after Lyanna only for Luwin to confirm you carried another babe in your womb, Robb almost laughed then. He was sat behind you to lean back against, a support as he refused to ever let the midwives tell him to leave. If you weren’t in such a state, he would’ve told you already how happy he was. It would be chaos, it would be quite something.

His son already about to reach two years of age, and now two newborn twins to the mix there was no easing either of you into this. It was here and you both would deal with it. His eyes glanced over to you, your newest son asleep in your arms, almost curling into you as if wanting to be close as possible to his mother, and little Ned asleep against your side. Your boys were all over you, and you would spoil them both he knew. Just as he would spoil Lyanna. His little princess would never go without feeling like one if Robb was to have his way.

Now with the birth of a second son, he had what some Lords referred to it as, an heir and a spare. He never cared to look at Ned like his heir, he was young, and new to the world and all that mattered to Robb was that they were loved. His two Princelings and his little Princess in his own arms, they were just titles. Things to present them to the court as.

In the everyday, his children would run amok in the corridors carefree and spoiled and happy. Thats all he cared about. After needing to lose his own father, and fight years in a war to have his children, he’d do everything he could to ensure they didn’t suffer anything close to the ways he did before having them.

Looking back over, you hadn’t yet taken your eyes off any of them. Swapping your glance between all three, even going so far as to shift how you held the baby, so little Ned could more comfortably rest his head in your lap. His little arms trying to wrap around you as if wanting to protect you in your sleep as your newest son snuggled close into your chest as if wanting to be as near you as possible. He grinned, you both were right, that one was going to be a needy child for your attention. And he knew you’d spoil him.

Many times already, he would gently or even playfully suggest that you let Ned breath a little, not coddle him so much. He was a northerner, a Stark. He was fierce and tough and you were bundling him to go out into the snow as if he were one a layer away from freezing to death. You wanted to protect him and show him love, and if he could only just barley persuade you to ease up with Ned, with this one, there was little chance of that.

Raising a daughter would be perfect for you. You half helped raise Robbs little sisters, you half raised your little sister in Shireen. You would do perfectly raising a girl, showing her the motherly nature that you never got in full that you should’ve. But, he had a feeling his newborn son was going to be attached to you at all times, a true wolf pup sticking to his mothers side. In a strange way, it was suiting.

What his little son would be like, and to whom he’d be like that with? He wouldn’t burden you with that thought. Already you refused to speak how disappointed you were. He had promised he would come back, come visit as he put it, “before you have the next one.” But, here you were, twins and not a sign that he was coming to visit. If Lyanna filled the memory of an aunt the Stark siblings never knew, and Ned shined over the castle to reinstate faith they hadn’t had since the boys namesake was killed, then naming the baby boy in your arms was suiting, if not for everyone elses sake, but for yours.

Something in Robb’s brother struggled to accept his offer to return to Winterfell where be belonged, and struggled further now to even convince himself to visit no matter how much they all, but more importantly, you, wished for him to. But you wouldn’t say it, and he couldn’t convince himself to come anymore.

Thus it felt right. Naming the needy baby boy in your arms, Jon.

[mymarifae]

these two are linked in some way. 100%. i'm hesitant to add mem to the theory board because idk if they'll be related to march too or just cyrene (being an entity that sort of embodies cyrene's... essence? like ELF elysia in hi3) but the similarities they have with Both are too big to ignore completely

unsure if they're about to go the route of cyrene and march being the same person or if march is simply like... a fragment of cyrene that was sealed and sent away to maybe give her a chance to live on since this girl is doomed to die in virtually every universe and iteration. amphoreus's time and space displacement is fucked up and it seems like we're going to be spending a lot of the adventure split across concepts of "past," "present," and "future." so that mayyyyy be why we were able to see cyrene interacting with and talking to stelle in the nameless faces video, if she's no longer "whole"/dead/...whatever.

she does appear to be emerging from a place of... non... physicality. also it's worth noting that in the first picture of her i included, she's sinking - into water or a water-like substance. that can presumably freeze over...... and become the ice block himeko and welt found march 7th in....... hm? 🤨

it's hard to say how much cyrene will have in common with elysia - it's unfair to expect them to be the exact same character, and maybe these points i'm about to bring up mean little in the end because we don't know for sure where the story is going to go, but

elysia was "born from nothing" which doesn't quite have the same connotations as march 7th's "birth" but you know. they both found themselves in a sudden state of existence with next to nothing to fall back on and they defined themselves

elysia is not humble about her beauty and speaks often of it (as she should; she is very pretty). similarly, march frequently boasts about her cuteness and describes herself as the cutest girl in the world (as she should; she is very cute)

"never forget your roots" is one of the mantras elysia lives by. this stands out to me because despite not... really needing those memories, march is pretty insistent on remembering her past. the lesson that the garden of remembrance and just the universe and her adventures in general have tried to teach her ("your present defines you; so long as you're happy here, you don't need the memories of your past, and retrieving them might destroy what you've come to love now") just doesn't appear to be sinking in. perhaps because she subconsciously has a core belief stating the opposite

as for how mem would fit into this i have nothing for you because we don't have anywhere near enough info on them for me to begin thinking about that. but it seems like they'll be a pretty big deal.

like i'm spitballing more than anything here. if march IS a fragment of cyrene i think it's also obvious that she has grown into her own, entirely separate person and her origins are inconsequential - though she might not think that if/when she learns this about herself. that might also offer an explanation for why the garden of remembrance won't let her have any part of her old memories, not even a hint. because learning that she's technically a piece of someone else might be too heavy a blow to her sense of identity and she'll be entirely too focused on all the wrong things. uncovering her past will slow her down at the most inopportune moment... make her vulnerable in all the worst ways. which might be why she appears so absent from the adventure.

it's also possible that like. all three of these guys - march, cyrene, and mem - are fragments of a titan (don't ask me which). or that march was given cyrene's coreflame (don't ask me which) before being catapulted into space. or march was the previous owner of the coreflame cyrene has now - if they can be passed on to other people - before being catapulted into space. or i mean, the coreflame cyrene HAD because i'm not convinced this girl's fully alive and well. mem IS the coreflame, brought to life/imparted with cyrene's memories and will.

do you see... there's just so very much to think about... looooots of story spoilers got thrown at us if we can just... untangle the mess... can anyone HEAR me

[lawofangie]

Hello. I just saw your post about your manifestation journey while struggling with depression and I’ll probably just be another rant about “how difficult it is to manifest”, but honestly I just want to talk a little bit.

I’m at work right now. I’m a trainee in a law office and my relationship with my boss is deteriorating gradually.

While I was at school, I would always think that I would be happier at a job, because I like to feel useful and competent. But now that I have a job, I just feel miserable.

I already received complaints twice about “being distracted” and “not doing my best”, which came as shocking because I’ve been doing my best. I have two bosses and while one looks like she really appreciates me, the other one might be the contrary.

I always fails to do what she wants me to do.

So I have been having really tiresome dreams. I had one where they asked me to type a document and after a while it turns out it was a “you are fired document” and asked me to sigh it.

They laughed and said that “I wasn’t doing enough” and “I wasn’t attending my classes at college” which I WAS but it didn’t matter.

I actually can’t imagine my life better. It’s like my mind just blocks it from me. I feel like I can’t delude myself even if that’s what I want the most.

I really want to just escape and live happily but I just feel trapped and miserable. I think I can predict what you are going to advice me but…I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared.

this is actually kind of relatable. i've felt similarly at many points in my life, i struggled to function, i thought external things would make me happy, applying the law was difficult. i couldn't imagine my life any better either. i understand where this is coming from, i'll try to give less generic advice, but i'm going to be brutally honest, and, this still won't be anything special. its important to remember that regardless of what i say here, manifestation is still just assuming you have your desire and persisting in that fact.

anyways, it honestly gets to a point where you have to realize that you're just wasting your time feeling trapped and scared. you're doing yourself a disservice. no one and nothing can save you, nor is anything or anyone going to. as unfortunate as your circumstances are, you have to do it yourself.

you have to take what you want and prioritize that above how you feel, anyone's made you feel, and how anyone feels about you. your life is meant to revolve around you and no one else. its YOUR life for a reason.

you SHOULD NOT waste the best years of your life being miserable, feeling like a failure, like a victim, like you can't change, like you're trapped like this forever when that's completely illogical. everyone and everything changes. people change in age, appearance, personality, sexuality, preferences, etc. it's physically impossible to be incapable of change unless you're not alive. people change all the time.

you genuinely do not have the time to be so self loathing and miserable, not when you're going to literally grow old one day. and according to those who've made it there already, that day comes fast. do you want to look back at your life at 80 and see what you wasted it doing? when all this information was right in your face? when all you had to do was take a chance and have some faith in yourself?

changing yourself isn't impossible, you're just too scared to assume anything good about yourself, perhaps because you've gotten so used to being miserable. "changing yourself", by the way, just so we're clear, simply means to assume something new about yourself. for example, you already believe you are a failure, and to change would be to simply assume you're successful. that's quite literally it. you just believe in something without physical proof, that's assuming. we assume all the time. you're just assuming about yourself now. the law is extremely simple to utilize, but it's the simplicity that leads to people overcomplicating it themselves.

also, delusion is, by definition, a false belief that is resistant to change, even when presented with evidence that it is not true. an assumption, by definition, is a belief that is taken as true without proof or evidence. you need to realize the difference here. we are telling you to assume, not to delude yourself. we are promising you that the "proof" comes after you've fully accepted it as true. we're not telling you to actively deny something despite accepting it as true. what would be the point in that? if we're telling you that your assumptions, aka the things you believe to be true without proof manifest, why would we tell you to continue to accept something you don't want as true? does that make sense?

being delusional and making an assumption may seem similar in theory, but in practice, they are completely different. one is literally the result of a mental illness, the other is a very normal, very human behavior that we do every day. we make assumptions about ourselves, people, and situations. all. the. time. it seems like it's only a problem and called "delusional" when it's about yourself, and it's something good.

it's like being confident in yourself, believing in your abilities despite what others have to say about you. for example, you have a great confidence in a talent or skill, and the you believe that you will get better as you get older/more experienced/more knowledgeable, and you'll make it places and have great opportunities in the future. let's say some random person decides to insult you and say that you'll never make it anywhere in life. would it be "delusional" to not listen to them? to not let someone else dictate your future? or would that simply be having some faith in yourself and not letting others define you?

this is literally all we're telling you to do, believe in yourself even if your reality seems to be against you. don't fight it, just accept that the unfavorable isn't true and move on. continue to believe in yourself.

and besides, if any person successful to date operated with that "i don't see it so it's not true" mindset, they wouldn't have become successful, would they? would anyone accumulate any kind of success with a mindset like that? the people who have came from nothing and made it to where they were now, had an unwavering confidence in their abilities and the fact that they'd be something one day. despite what anyone's told them, or tried to project onto them, it didn't get through to their unwavering sense of self.

the point is, we are promising you something. all it takes is for you to have some confidence in yourself. to quit hurting yourself. is that so hard?

anyways, the point of manifesting is when you change yourself, the things in your external reality change.

assuming is easy. believing things to be true without proof is easy. you just have to get comfortable with the fact that you need to change before anything changes externally. again, instead of believing you are a failure, that you are trapped, you simply assume you are successful, and you are not trapped.

people also change their minds all the time, they grow to have a different opinion, they realize they were wrong, they want to give something else a chance, or without a reason, they simply change their mind. these things are not impossible, they happen all the time.

i'm saying this to say that manifesting isn't being delusional. to be delusional is feeling stuck and like things can't change, when they so clearly do, all the damn time. you're not special enough for the concept of change to not apply to you. for instance, you are certainly not the same person you were when you were 6 compared to however old you are right now. you changed, therefore you are capable of changing, and i proved it to you with that simple example.

you only feel stuck because you decided you are, you decided that you'll never be unstuck, and so you haven't been. the law is working, just not in your favor. everything you see in your reality right now, perfectly matches whatever you've assumed to be true. that is not a coincidence. it's important to remember that the law isn't a thing with feelings, it does not care about you or your situation. all it does is continue to operate. it's up to you to use the law's indifference to your advantage.

also, you seem to have a victim mindset. it's very obvious in the way that you try to explain yourself, that you were doing as you were supposed to, but it still 'didn't matter'. you're putting so many things (your job, your bosses, proving yourself) on a pedestal, over what really matters, which is yourself. do you even like your job? did you pursue something you were passionate about? because if not, then you have no business subjecting yourself to any kind of mistreatment, not when you didn't even want to be there in the first place. you should be putting yourself and your desires before even thinking about pleasing anyone or meeting any kind of requirement.

your own standards and requirements should come first. remember : you chose to work for them. you have a choice. you also need to remember that your bosses and colleagues are regular people. outside of work (and in the workplace if we're being honest) they have no kind of power over you. you shouldn't be letting such irrelevant people in your life have the power to instill so much fear in you, to the point where you're having literal nightmares.. about typing a document incorrectly.

also, about feeling useful and competent, that's something you have to decide about yourself. are you useful? are you competent? do you honestly feel this way about yourself? definitely not, which is why you're seeking validation from others. but at the same time, it is what's made you so miserable, because you're definitely not getting that validation. and any you get only gives you a short lived feeling of satisfaction. your opinion on yourself matters more than what anyone has to say. that's literally why confidence and insecurity exist. and either way, you still feel a certain way about yourself that outweighs anything anyone has to say about you.

here's another example, let's say you've been insecure about your looks from a young age. if one day, someone randomly tells you you're beautiful or they think you're pretty, is all the insecurity you've felt for years suddenly going to go away? or will your mind find reasons to reinforce the fact that you don't feel beautiful? and if someone confirmed your insecurities, saying you weren't their type, they didn't find you attractive, wouldn't you just justify that reaction in your mind since you feel that way about yourself already?

with that in mind, how much does anyone's words really matter? do the words of others honestly have any significance when they aren't reinforcing something you already believe about yourself?

your reality works in a similar way. whatever you decide to assume/ accept as true/ shift your awareness to/ decide is true/ feel is certain, your reality will reflect. as well as a bunch of reasons to continue believing whatever it is is true. the law is very indifferent and has no bounds. it does not care about your feelings, your specific circumstances, and so on. that's why i'm telling you, you only feel these ways and experience the things you do, because you decided you were. this goes for being miserable, being stuck, feeling useless, feeling incompetent and living in fear. there are no exceptions.

so, with all that said, what do i suggest? first off, you need to practice being secure in yourself. work on being confident in yourself first, then work on your self concept. i say "confidence" as in feeling secure in yourself within the 3d. so, your looks, your body, your social skills, your physical skills, etc. because "self concept" has to do with having confidence in your manifestation abilities. find a helpful method that works for you, like affirming, visualizing, scripting, rampaging, or just simply deciding something new about yourself and accepting it.

self confidence has to do with things like liking yourself, being your own validation, having optimistic thoughts about yourself, and self efficiency. you can't care about what others think, you have to put yourself first, and you can't let anyone dictate your future. be selfish. the only thing that should matter is you and how something makes you feel. nothing bad comes from putting yourself first and not worrying about others.

once you feel confident in yourself, or even while working on your confidence, practice using the law. you could start by manifesting something small, something specific that would prove to you that you can manifest, then work your way up. manifest bigger things or just a large quantity of things, just to prove to yourself that there aren't any limits. remember, manifesting is just assuming: believing something to be true without proof. i mean that in the most literal, simplest way possible. like the example of success i used earlier.

once you've proven to yourself that manifestation is indeed real, play around with it. also, work on your self concept. decide that things always go well for you, that you deserve good things, you're the creator of your reality, learn to mentally reject unfavorable things in the 3d, and so on. this is what i would do if i were you.

i know this was kind of long, but i hope you understand my words and find them useful. feel free to dm me or send another ask if you have anymore questions. 🩶

[furiousgoldfish]

Things that trauma does:

gives you health issues

gives you paralyzing fear of the future and of the past

stops you from reaching for a future you might have liked to take

gives you amnesia and general memory problems

makes your sleeping time an absolute hell

makes your awake time an absolute hell

makes you consider not being alive way more than you usually would

makes certain unavoidable situations terrifying and next to impossible to handle

makes it more difficult and straining to survive

makes you feel alone in every group

makes your relationships strained and alienating

makes your socialization either a performance or something you cannot even do anymore

forces you to see yourself as weak and breakable

forces you to admit that bad things can and will happen and you can no longer live in oblivion or optimism about your prospects, they will look bad even when they are not

makes you catastrophize the future or makes you believe there is no future for you at all

brainwashes you and builds your fears up to the point where you can't imagine there being a reality that isn't traumatic somewhere

gives you severe mental health issues and issues with how you view yourself and your body

makes you long for a moment without pain and fighting

makes you believe that you will never be safe, or loved, or happy, or that you don't even deserve any of those things in the first place

makes you feel abandoned by the world and like you have no place in anyone's heart

makes you alienated from any person who hasn't been thru trauma

makes you feel like nothing will ever be okay

what trauma doesn't do:

make you stronger

[one-vivid-judgment]

You know what I love about the Ichigang? That they were all alone and at rock bottom at some point, with no one to rely on for support:

- Nanba wanted to be like Nightingale, but then got fired because he took the fall for someone else, who ended up having lied to him for her own benefits. His brother was being watched by the Geomijul and then disappeared; Nanba spent a long ass time homeless and not knowing if his brother was alive or not. 

- Adachi lived with the Kusumi incident in his conscience for years, hating Horinouchi's guts and hoping to find something to take the guy down. First he's demoted to the license center, then he's straight up fired. No job, no retirement, man never got married or had a family. The Barkeep even says he's "not usually a happy drunk" and that "it's the first time in a long time I see him smile like that".

- Saeko's family life is a DISASTER. Her mom died, her sister wants nothing to do with her (to the point where they were both working for the same guy and Nanoha EXPLICITLY told Nonomiya not to tell her sister about it, even when things were tough and she could've used Saeko's help), her dad is old and dying. She is on her own and basically only has her girls and Nonomiya—until Nonomoya dies, and she's conflicted cause sure, he wasn't the best guy around, but he was still there for her when she needed, and now he's gone. 

- Yeonsu's life, man. Yeonsu's fucking life. His dad was a drunkard who abused his son and cared about him so little that he had no qualms basically giving Yeonsu up as tribute to the Jingweon mafia to turn him into their leader's double—mind you, this means he could've been killed at any point. He basically lived as the shadow of someone else for years, never being seen for himself but for Joongi Han. 

- Zhao's Liumang leader status was passed down from his dad. He was doing a good job although he's clearly more passionate about cooking and having his restaurant—that he doesn't mind a simpler life and even EMBRACES it and gets angry when anyone suggests he's "just some chef". He still lead the Liumang though. And then his men and right hand turn on him and try to get him killed and what do you know, suddenly there is nothing anymore. 

- Seonhee was a kid when the whole Jingweon mafia shit show happened and then it all came crashing down. Her people who managed to escape alive were left on their own and abandoned until the Geomijul was created. 

- Even Eri, the optional party member, was in a similar situation. She was tricked by Hosho and her company was at the verge of shutting down, and when she thought she had a chance to get back on her feet thanks to Nonomiya's help, she finds out he died, and basically, as far as she knows, all hope is lost. 

And then, Chitose and Tomizawa. I feel they are the perfect example of how easy it is to stray and go down the wrong path when you are in that type of situation, and how even the tiniest kind gesture can do wonders to you:

- Chitose was a sheltered rich girl whose whole life was dictated by her parents. She craved the independence and the freedom and she wanted CONNECTION—which is how she ended up falling in Eiji's trap and being blackmailed for years and manipulated into using people who actually cared about her and with whom she was finally developing that connection she always yearned for. As far as she knows, said people will push her to the side as soon as they find out about her betrayal, and then she'll be alone again. 

- Tomizawa was living the live with his girlfriend, a nice job and a kid on the way—until Dwight and the Barracuda pinned their crimes on him. He went to jail, Marie lost the baby and then disappeared, he's blacklisted from every bank and had to go to Yamai for help with his debts, and after that, he basically became a puppet who did everythint Yamai asked him to out of fear. He hates himself for being a coward who's not able to pull the trigger even when it's necessary, and he blames himself for everything that happened. He is a horrible person in his own eyes, and as far as he knows, there is no getting out of this situation. 

And then there is Ichi, who has seen nothing but rock bottom for so fucking long but still manages to see the bright side of things. He is a good person, sometimes borderline stupid and his choices end up making his superiors (aka Sawashiro) mad. But it doesn't matter how much life beats him down, he always gets back up because he has that "once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up" philosophy. And, although some of his friends have used him for their benefit or straight up assaulted him, Ichi never turns his back on them. Because he KNOWS how it feels to be alone and to not have anyone there for you, anyone that you can rely on, and if he can be that someone, then he WILL be. If he can change a single person's life, he WILL. 

Anyway, I love the Ichigang so much and these are the kind of thoughts I have about them at 1 a.m

[marymary-diva17]

The matchmakers for love

tsu'tey x reader

Being the second scientist and baby sister of the sully twins, was not an easy job. Yes it was easy at times but your brother could be overprotective and that mostly came in, when it was related to your love life. After one of your brother death it had become hard to live on earth, and when the chance came to head to pandora you and Jake left earth for a better chance out there. Life had did become better for you and Jake, he had found a new meaning in life along with love. You had need have a new meaning for life but you had yet to find any love, well your life of single hood was not meant to last forever.

Y/n " ......" Today you are outside in your avatar body collect some fruit near the human/avatar living area. There had been a feeling today was going to be quite day, but that all changed when you heard ikran calls.

y/n " oh it looks like my day will be changing" You soon saw Jake and tsu'tey getting off their ikrans, after they had landed. You had smiled as you ran towards them.

y/n " it good to see you both are here"

tsu'tey " y/n hello"

y/n " hello tsu'tey it good to see you again how have you been doing since the battle"

tsu'tey " oh I have been good it was thanks to your care and skills< I'm still alive here today"

y/n " it was nothing when neytiri and my brother brought all the injured back I went to help"

tsu'tey " well you had been a great help"

Jake " well I'm here to but no you two can keep talking"

y/n " there no way I can forget you big brother"

Jake " we came to see you and how everyone else has been doing"

y/n " well we are doing well Jake"

tsu'tey " it seems like your humans have been able to use the materials near you all to help"

y/n " yes we are going to need them for the long stay here, as going back to earth or elsewhere is no go right now"

Jake " well I'm happy you stayed baby sis I will hate it if you left"

y/n " we are staying together no matter what happens brother we made a promise"

tsu'tey " you two remind me of the relationship I started having with my brother ... thanks to your help y/n it seems like you are always helping the clan no matter what"

y/n " avorke is a good boy he just came around and wanted to talk, and we talked it seems like he having a good time with his life right now"

tsu'tey " oh yes he is the two of us have forge our now paths in life"

y/n " that good"

Jake " oh I have forgotten neytiri had wanted to give me some weaving lesson, as I haven't gotten better even some riding on dire horse"

tsu'tey " did she"

Jake " yes well you can stay here and talk I need to get going, before I'm to late and she mad at me"

y/n " okay see you later" Jake soon got on his ikran and took off leaving the pair together.

tsu'tey " so mind showing me around there is some new changes here"

y/n " sure comes along and please be careful where you step and touch, for your safety and others"

tsu'tey " sure" the pair soon started walking off together you had been sure to explain everything to , tsutey when he asked some questions or pointed out something.

tsu'tey " it seems like everyone had began to start rebuilding their lives after the battle that happened"

y/n " yes it will take time before anything can be normal again"

tsutey " well I hope one day everything will be good for both sides"

y/n " yes I hope so as well I came here seeking change after the death of my brother, and it did have that change"

????? " y/n y/n" the pair had heard your name getting called a small human child made it way towards you, tsu'tey saw you smile as you kneeled down and open your arms as the small human ran into your arms.

y/n " hey little dude it seems like you got out"

norm " spider get back here you need an adult with you"

y/n " I got him norm"

norm " okay het tsutey"

norm " hello" norm had soon left after knowing spider was in good care.

tsu'tey " who this little sky person"

y/n " this is spider and he what we human call a child"

spider " hello I'm spider"

tsu'tey " hello spider I'm tsu'tey" tsu'tey had kneeled down as well and looked at spider.

spider " I saw you outside and came outside as well, it fun to be outside"

y/n " yes it"

spider " I love climbing and running round and I can do it out here"

y/n " well go have some fun but stay at a good level and in view"

spider " okay dokie"

tsu'tey " are you sure this boy is not navi he could be one, the clan kids act like him"

y/n " that has been the topic of conversation with everyone"

tsu'tey " has neytiri and mo'at meet him"

y/n " yes and they acted like you it seems like they like the title guy"

tsu'tey " so im guessing her in your care"

y/n "well yes and no he raised by everyone here but mostly spends his time with me"

tsu'tey " you are doing a good job"

y/n " thank you"

tsu'tey " hey maybe you should bring him to home tree and we can show him around, and I can also help you with him when you did it"

y/n " I will love that and I think spider will as well"

tsu'tey " thank you" unknown to you and tsu'tey spider had looked back at the base giving a thumbs up to the adults watching, there see to a secret plan going unknown to you and tsu'tey.

many years later

spider " that how I got my mom and dad together"

tuk " that amazing story spider"

kiri " yes it was good"

lo'ak " you still using the match maker skills bro I will love your help"

kiri "spider will need a miracle to help you find love"

lo'ak " rude"

neteyam " that was nice of your spider"

y/n " yes he is our match maker"

tsu'tey" he makes us proud"

Jake " wait hold up it was not all because of spider I help as well leaving you two alone"

norm " yes we sent him out to help we help more the Jake" everyone was looking at Jake and the others as they were explaining, on how they helped the couple get together.

the kids " it was all because of spide"

tuk " yeah daddy it mean to steal other work"

Jake " tuk wait .."

y/n " yep it was all because of spider we got time to spend together"

tsu'tey " yes all because of him don't be rude sully"

Jake " I like my story better"

neytiri " stop acting like a child ma Jake I have sene spider was more the help of them being together" Jake and the others soon gave up feeling but hurt about, not being seen as the match markers for the couple. That the end of the day it didn't matter as you and tsu'tey had found love with each other.

[kissitbttr]

OOOH! I really wanna know what happened to frat!miguel when meeting reader’s parents? It must’ve been skeptical but wholesome in a way 😞

‘miguel, you’re sweating like crazy’ you point out with a raised eyebrow, watching how a few strands of his hair clinging onto his forehead,

he wide eyes, hand coming up to wipe the sweats off his skin ‘am i? shit, fuck. now i have to change into a new shirt’

rolling your eyes, you shake your head at him, ‘yeah no, you already changed into four different shirts, miggy. and we’re going to be late! what is with you anyway? they’re just my parents, no need to get nervous’

he fans his face with both of his hands as he takes one last look in the mirror. ‘you mean my soon to be in-laws?’ he asks and for a second there you think he’s joking but he’s actually serious,

you ignore the flutter in your chest and decide to smile instead, ‘you’ll be fine, baby’ a kiss planted on his cheek. ‘no need to worry, they’re going to love you’

and they do. took a while for your father warming up to him unlike your mom who already adores the hell out of him. but they sure hit it off rather quickly after that.

‘you’ve ever been in jail?’ your dad asks in a serious tone, glaring at miguel,

your boyfriend gulps. ‘no sir’

‘done drugs?’

‘no sir’

‘engaged to any sexual intercourse party?’

‘daddy!’ ‘sweetheart!’ both you and your mother exclaims at the same time with a gasp

and miguel is sweating like crazy, ‘never in a million years sir’

your dad hums. ‘my daughter is the most precious thing i have ever had. my greatest blessing. you hurt her, i’ll make sure no one will ever see you alive again, understood?’

‘i have no intentions on hurting your daughter, sir. i plan on being with her for the rest of my life’ miguel reassures with confidence, making your mother awe at the sight and for your heart to bloom,

for a while, your dad only stare at him before giving another firm nod. ‘good. so—‘ a hand suddenly clasps around miguel’s shoulder causing him to jump a little. ‘football huh? who are you rooting for?’

‘…giants, sir’ miguel responds in a quiet voice hoping that it’s the right answer,

he sees the skeptical look on your dad’s face, thinking that he might have lost his shot at winning your parents.

but then a smile breaks over your dad’s face, chuckling lightly,

‘atta boy’

—

‘i cannot believe that your dad is inviting me to go play ball! holy fucking shit! this is the best day ever!’ miguel whispers yell while the two of you sit in the living room as your parents are preparing dinner,

a chuckle escape your mouth, watching how cute your pretty boy gets when he’s all excited and blushy. it’s like that one time when you took him to see animatronics dinosaurs in florida and watched his inner child appeared.

a kiss planted onto his cheek, seeing his smile only grows more. ‘see? didn’t i tell you that it was going to be okay?’

he grins so hard that his cheeks are hurting, feeling extremely happy about how tonight is going that he knows for sure nothing could ever ruin this

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hai there, i was wondering if you could do a mandalorian x male child reader?

Can the male reader be a foundling and Mando finds us or something like that?

Like Mando is becomeing some sort of father figure?

If not, that's totally fine too!

I love your storys!!!

Din Djarin with a foundling pantoran reader

Headcanons

I can’t remember any of the Mandalorian language *scrunches up in pain*. Reader is Pantoran, cuz hehe blue and yellow tattoos.

Din would find you when he’s out on a bounty, sometime after he’s given Grogu to Luke. This means Din is still feeling extra raw and empty, lacking some purpose with his life other than just Bounty hunting, since he’s realized there’s more to life.

Imagine his surprise, when his latest bounty, some slave trader, is already down for the count when he arrives. Din quickly finds you, in all your blue skinned, yellow facial tattooed glory, glaring and barring your teeth like a wild Tooka.

In the beginning he doesn’t know what to do with you, since you end up telling him you have no one to go back too, since your parents sold you for being an affair baby. It aches in his heart to see someone so young, already so jaded by the world.

He might have already grown attached the moment he saw you, but he’s not gonna force any adoption or anything. But before either of you know it, you’ve wormed your way into his life and are living with him on his ship.

Boba and Fennec are in no way surprised when Din arrives on Tatooine with you following him like a baby duckling. They both have a good laugh when you launch yourself feet first towards an assassin though, both deciding if Din won’t take you, they will.

Because of your time as a slave, you have a hard time trusting, and Din doesn’t wanna force it. So, he gives you all the time you need to get comfortable. He definitely doesn’t start silently crying under his helmet when you fall asleep against his side for the first time.

He ends up changing up the interior of his ship so you can fit, giving you your own seat and bunk area, and making sure things you might need are in reach.

Din doesn’t realize he’s pretty much already adopted you in everything but adoption vow, until Boba points it out to him one day. Boba points out how Din has already given you a few armor pieces in durasteel and has been training you in the Mandalorian fighting styles.

Din becomes flustered and embarrassed, and mumbles something about not wanting to force it. Turns out, you don’t want to force it either because you still fear he will get rid of you like your first parents.

After some fighting, you sneaking along for bounty hunting, you almost dying because of this, and Din having to save you, you guys finally accept how much you have come to care.

Din ends up asking if you would be okay with being adopted by him, to join his small clan with Grogu, and to be his child. You tear up, and at first Din thinks it because you are so against the idea. But then you sob out a yes and cling to him, mumbling how you wanted nothing more than to have a family.

Din speaks the Mandalorian adoption vows, and he can now finally take his helmet off around you, as you are his child and that is the way.

You end up looking into the meanings of Pantoran tattoos with Boba and Fennecs help, and add to your already existing ones to show your clan and Mandalorian ways, as you are now Mandalorian.

Din takes you to meet Grogu, if you haven’t already met him, even if its just over a call or video chat. Grogu is extremely excited to have an older sibling, but also pouty that he cant go with you guys on adventures or get his own armor until he’s of age for his species.

You start getting your own armor as you get older. Its up to you if you follow the way, of never removing your helmet or not, Din just wants you to be happy and healthy and will support you either way.

If you meet Dins former clan, you always make sure to kick Paz in the ankles or the back of the knees (he’s still alive to me, idc idc), because he wronged your father in your eyes. You always end up roughhousing with Paz’s kid, the two of you beating on each other like Mandalorian kids do.

Because of your age Din slows down with his bounty hunting, and does smaller and less dangerous contracts, because he doesn’t wanna leave you without a parent. He’s definitely set up something with Boba and Fennec, that they’ll take care of you if he were to pass, just in case.

When you get older he takes you along with him, helping you become the kinda person you wanna be. If you end up wanting to be a bounty hunter, he’s the best trainer there is, and if you wanna be something completely different, he will find someone who can teach you.

Din is a tad bit overprotective, even as you grow older, its in his blood and he can’t help it. He just wants his kid to be safe and happy, and can’t bear the thought of you being hurt even though Din knows that’s just the way of the galaxy.

But no matter what, Din is a very loving father, even though he is a little awkward and tense in the beginning. He would do anything for his kid, and if you were ever in danger or kidnapped, he’s ready to destroy the entire galaxy to get you back.

[bobbydagen24]

little idea what if Brozone's parents did come back in the future alive but they look down on Branch for being Grey.

like they see it as something that brings shame on their family and that it shows that Branch is just weak willed.

as maybe that was an attitude often held in Troll society in the old days before the events of the first film where literally every Troll went Grey Briefly.

so even knowing about Grandma's death and him only being a child they still view him going Grey for such a long time that it became partly permanent as being because he's just weak or maybe some sorta freak.

like I would imagine it as maybe in this scenario the parents were overly strict and emotionally cold they were the ones who initially pushed the older members to be perfect.

and caused them a lot of stress and issues as a result namely causing JD to follow their example after the parents walked out on them one day.

and when they return in present day claiming to be changed and remorseful over the past the older Bros are Reluctant at first but maybe

Branch and Floyd being the youngest and the ones who Remember the least about how the parents were ( in Branch's case nothing at all since he was Barely Hatched when the parents left )

are more open and keen on giving the parents another chance and somewhat push JD Bruce and Clay to do the same

which they do in the end when the parents are able to convince them that they're sorry and that they want to be a part of their lives.

only for them to at first show a subtle Different attitude towards Branch and his appearance especially after they find out its a Result of him being Grey for most of his life.

and they start more and more showing a certain attitude towards him sorta leaving him out of the family when they are all talking or doing things together

and showing no interest in him as opposed to the others and when they are alone with him he tries to approach them only for them to just be Blatant

in their disapproval of him stating he's weak and an embarrassment and he's basically a walking permanent reminder of how badly he messed up in his own life

and they can't believe one of their own flesh and blood is forever a "" Grayling "" sorta saying it as a really filthy word that they can Barely utter from their mouths.

and Despite the older Brothers just initially being happy to have the parents back in their lives they eventually kinda can't ignore how different they Treat Branch.

sorta like when someone you know is just casually being Racist or Homophobic and you feel uncomfortable by it but you don't really wanna cause conflict so you just sorta ignore it and stay quiet.

but eventually the older Bros do stick up for Branch pointing out everything he went through and overcame from such a young age and everything he's gone on to do as an adult like helping Poppy save all of their Tribes music.

and they say his left over Greyness doesn't make him weak or anything like that and if anything they're proud of him

and who he became despite going through some horrible times without any of them to support or help him which they call their parents out on while acknowledging their own fault in that as well.

and in in the end they send the parents packing since they Realise they haven't really changed and they are all better off without them.

with Brozone all being Disappointed by just what major Jerks their parents have always and will always be and Branch being somewhat upset that they looked down on him so much

but he's also at the same time pretty happy that his Bros stood up for him against their own mom and dad and even said they were proud of him.

tho of course Branch tries to act casual about his Happiness over that last part but his colours Brighten slightly giving him away with the Bros light heartedly teasing him over it

in a way making him feel slightly less bad over his physical differences.

sooo yeah just a little idea I had kinda combining past ideas about the parents being crappy people who were Harsh to Brozone while adding in some Grey Troll Discrimination.

as I find that idea kinda interesting that maybe the few permanent Grey Trolls that there are would be looked down on by some sections of Troll society

and it'd be viewed as some sorta character flaw or even a Disgusting illness that makes people wanna avoid them.

FR I Hope we do see other Permanent Grey Trolls in the future I think it could either make for an aspect of an interesting main story or at least just a neat little bit of world building if we see them Briefly.