#what? making a post about otps without even mentioning them before? it's more likely than you think

[rocketinthesky]

hey! in case if no one asked for norapinto in the ask game yet, here i am!! i know it's like a budding ship, but i really enjoyed your takes on the other ships as well, and i'm curious if you have some lingering thoughts about them? aaand if i could be greedy, i'd ask for gax as well, since i don't really know much about that pairing (yet) but you seem to enjoy them, so i might came to the right place? :D

ALSO! also thank you so much for sharing my silly little fic? it means a whole lot to me! 😭 ♥

Hello! Ty for mentioning two of my otps lmaoskjdjf (thank YOU for writing norapinto dude we need more content of them ugh thanks for contributing! <3)

As for the ask game i realise i highkey forgot to label the last two asks with the compel factor thing so i’ll do that this time hehe i’ll try to keep my ramblings short

Norapinto: makes sense and compels me very much

I mean yea franco JUST entered the grid and has been in like three races but we already have a LOT to work with for these two.

The reveal that Lando was the first one to text him at when the news broke that Franco was joining the grid?? CMON. Like. Lando?! Wtf?! That’s so fucking sweet. We overlook how much of a sweet guy Lando is and the fact that he was being thoughtful for this rookie who was joining in less than ideal circumstances, immediately doing everything to make Franco more comfortable and relaxed on the grid? CMON.

And ofc before we even had this bit of lore THE DRIVERS PARADE! Franco Yapinto and Lando heart eyes Norris? That pic is going down in fucking history LANDO U CANNOT HIDE FROM ME.

And ofc the post race moment where they were down to duet the interview and the way Lando’s gaze just lingered on Franco, the way they smile at eo, the general EASE in their interactions from what little we’ve seen.

Obv we haven’t seen much yet but like the little we have i just think they’re a fun, fluffy and sweet pairing. Like i just picture Franco the professional yapper yapping away while Lando fondly smiles at him while hanging on to every word. There’s the angle of Lando being a sort of support system for Franco, being a comforting presence to quell his anxieties, to make him feel wanted and less alone with the complicated situation surrounding him getting his seat. Lando who doesn’t wanna see a rookie get consumed by all the not-so spectacular sides of F1, and in the process finds himself falling head over heels for this dude who can’t stfu and is flirty with everyone and sounds hot when he speaks spanish. Then there’s Franco who came into the whole thing with the mentality of maybe staying strong, putting up walls, telling himself he can take all the pressure, but then when he finds Lando so readily offering him so much comfort despite being virtual strangers atp, he feels more relaxed and open.

Anyway they’re fluffy and sweet and total switches ty.

Gax: MAKES SENSE AND COMPELS ME SO MUCH I’M DYING ON THIS HILL

OK SO there’s a surprisingly amount of LORE to gax and i will sum it up without too much rambling: they’ve been racing more or less all their lives tgt in the same categories and stuff since their karting days. They were even teammates at one point in a junior category. The incident that most people know Gax by (and admittedly what got me into F1 to begin with) happened last year in Baku where they had a bit of an inchident with Max confronting him childishly and George just bein his goofy gremlin self.

ANYWAY. A lot of people like to see them as enemies to lovers which i mean hey its a delicious dynamic and i love that but Gax is more complex than that. They’ve have their quarrel but they’re actually really friendly? It’s a friendliness that comes with just knowing eo practically all their lives. They have a mutual respect for eo and always speak good things about one another, but it’s also clear from their racing and few incidents where they clash that neither of them are the types of back down. Max is definitely more explosive in his rage and arrogance but George is a more simmering fire. He will say things as it is with a smile, and i could see how their egos would clash hard cuz they’re both passionate about racing and winning. But they’re also not the types to hold a grudge, they’re able to separate racing from off-track relationships, which is evident in how quickly they made up from the 2023 inchident and went back to their friendly interactions.

I see Gax’s dynamic as something akin to comfort. They’re both sarcastic chaos gremlins who know how to banter and tease, but Max can be a bit explosive and sensitive about racing which might carry out off-track, but George is the type to calmly be both upfront about his stance while not being outright combative. They’d balance each other out in a way, though they’d still have their disagreements and arguments given how prideful they are as drivers.

Gax is a dynamic where there’s an understanding there from the years of being in each other’s orbit. They’ve never been the best of friends but there’s an attraction there, with sparks flying on track, the adrenaline persisting even off track and condensing into a carnal need. It’s confusing at first—they have people they’re much closer with you’d expect them to fall for but then they find each other? It’s unexpected for them too but they fall into the dynamic easily, their sense of humor clicking. They wouldn’t be overly sweet but they’d be pretty domestic imo, like have an easygoing, chill dynamic in their relationship.

The horniness needs to be studied tho esp Max’s obsession with George being shirtless like bro i am NOT kidding about the carnal magnetism between them. As for their bedroom dynamics i’m a 100% bottom max truther and George is such a service top so there’s that :D

Hope any of that made sense lol ty for sending in the ask!

[hibiscusangel15]

First dossier for All Ships Ship Week over at #ficwip! I had to start with my very first OTP. Nothing has topped their relationship for me. I still adore Ichiruki with all my heart.

Tell us why you love them:

Black Sun and White Moon

The Death and the Strawberry

The Sand and the Rotator

One Boy, One Shinigami, The Story of Destiny

All canon ship titles that Kubo gave them! Insane!

I shipped them so hard even before I even knew what shipping was. They were the gateway into so many avenues for me, and without them, I don't think I'd even be writing today. I've never loved a ship more than them (or since).

They're so, so good for each other. Ichigo brings out her more assertive side that she hardly ever gets to express, which also pulls her out of her self-sacrificing funks. Rukia dries the rain in his heart (canon metaphor for depression and helplessness) and constantly pushes him to care more about himself and the people around him.

Not to mention canon sun/moon imagery, a canon rescue arc with a twist (she refuses to be saved because she thinks she deserves to suffer for bringing him into her world), and hits like this:

And so many canon moments in-between! The entirety of the manga to me is their love story until the end.

Rewatch/reread your favorite moments:

I don't have the time to rewatch the first two arcs or Fade to Black again, but the ice-skating scene of Episode 342? Always. I love how tenderly he's holding her hand here GODDD:

I also still love the hug scene in Fade to Black:

As for smaller canon moments, the "That's the kind of man you are in my heart!" scene will forever have a grip on me:

Playlists:

I don't know what to add to a new playlist, but I've made several Ichiruki playlists in the past for ship events! They're here:

Here's the second one:

Fic Recs:

I made some fic recs here for the Ichiruki Fic Exchange:

Share a prompt/idea for others to share:

Roleswap!Ichiruki - Ichigo as the Shinigami and Rukia as the human. Yes, it's been done and was the basis for my first ever fic, but it's always so fun to see what people do with it!

Share a favorite headcanon:

The reason Ichigo doesn't practice Kido is because no matter what Kido it is, it just blows up in his hands because his reiatsu is too powerful. Rukia is helping him keep that in control slowly but surely.

Make a meme:

(Sorry for the poor quality)

Text: FIGHT ME

COME AT ME

HITS YOU

WITH MY LIPS

ON YOUR LIPS

SOFTLY

if this is how we're gonna fight can we fight all the time

And with that, we got blackout bingo, babyyy!

[anangelforsure]

(more ace ramblings…as I tend to do every so often)

My love for subtle romance is evident with everything I attach myself to. Venom. Good omens. TEOTFW. DSAF. And, until I realized that I am a demiromantic asexual, I didn’t realize how significant these type of relationships are to me.

(I have made past posts where I’ve gone on and on reviewing and analyzing the shows mentioned so I won’t restate all that, but I hope y’all understand where I’m coming from)

Venom (2018) was the first movie not meant for children I ever saw in theatres, back in high school. That day changed something in my brain. I had never been so taken with a movie before. I remember trying to articulate to my friend about the dynamic between Eddie and Venom “it’s like I ship them. But as friends” (denial is the first stage). I was all-consumed by this feeling. Eventually I got into fanart on instagram, and gave in to the fact that I do, in fact, ship them. I consumed so much fan content, read all about their comic-canon romance.. they were my first otp.

Good omens was my next fixation. Back in the day, the good omens fandom faced the controversy of alleged queerbaiting. And while these were perfectly valid concerns, I vehemently disagreed with them. Besides being completely biased in favor of the show, I genuinely adored their relationship. It made me feel something new. It was exactly what I wanted from a partnership. Somewhere around 2020, I started toying with the idea of being ace. With help from the internet, I headcanoned Crowley and Aziraphale as ace, and that was something special. That was me, the way I wanted to love, and millions of people liked it.

At some point in 2021, I ended up with a Netflix subscription to use up before the month ended. I watched The End of the F***ing World. I was almost put off by the subject matter at the beginning, but I stuck it out long enough to be absolutely gripped by Alyssa and James’ dynamic. The awkward, subtly expressed romance that forms between them had me dizzy. The struggle James has showing Alyssa how he feels hit me hard. Again, I felt something shift inside me, to me this was something significant, different from any other I’d seen portrayed. Like Good Omens, this was somehow a more meaningful relationship.

And then the second venom movie came out. That one played even harder into the romantic implications between Eddie and Venom, but besides that, there was Cletus. As random as it sounds, Cletus was my first ace headcanon with no influence from other peoples opinions. He would destroy everything for the chance to be with his girl (much like it seemed Crowley would for Aziraphale). Devotion for years and years without contact.. it’s not great ace rep, granted, but back then to me it was obvious. Driven by forces greater than physical.

And so with myself comfortably identifying as ace, I started to reflect a bit. One thing all my favorite media had in common was this theme of unconventional romance. I greatly preferred the implied, the subtle, subtext, relationships that took a little reading into, or those marked by hesitation. Outright romance and sexual relationships put me off, just didn’t feel as connected, I need a slow burn. Which, as a demiromantic, completely checks out. Asexuality (plus my anxiety probably) makes things complicated, because I show affection in ‘lesser’ ways than I assume allos do. These stories mean so much to me because people like me do exist, and our relationships are beautiful too.

[fuumiku]

What if we were both kids who had become entangled in dangerous things beyond our understanding, and you just want to be loved and take great care in upholding a cute persona to be liked, and I just want to be loved and uphold a persona to seek it through shallow relationships and being desired, and while you were protected and became a protector I was harmed and became harmful. What if we both need to be needed. What if we both craved attention and were overly willing to give it. What if we’re both sidelined and dismissed and whereas I came to loathe the world and want it reduced to ashes you see beauty in it everywhere, what if you brought me understanding and elation, an actual connection that I hadn’t had since my life became a cycle of pain and trauma and acting. What if I said I hated butterflies because they act all pretty and fancy but without their wings they’re actually really ugly, and you told me that they had to live as ugly caterpillars before earning their pretty wings. What if I was a caterpillar and you were a butterfly and I love you but I hate you but I love you but I hate how you might leave me. What then.

"When I’m with you I feel like a kid again." Alois just stab me, it’ll be less painful than hearing you say this to Lizzie

At first in my drafts I had these lyrics of Someone to Stay written all around them but if you’re not in an intense aloizzy mindset it looks crazyyyyy lol. I still made it an alt version and put it under the keep going line though. Also I made them wear each other’s eye color hehe, blue and green <3 Oh yeah man the sketch for this was from yearssss ago and the lineart it’s gotta have been a solid year as well… Look I just have tons of wips and I’m a slow artist. But yesss this is one of my guilty pleasure OTPs… Even as a kid I was a rarepair shipper gbdgdg. So uh this is my obligatory aloizzy post!! There will be more, hopefully

Fic recommendation!! Ice into intimidation is visceral and childish and timeless and universal. It touched me as a 11 years old and my appreciation for it has only grown as I became less and less childishly innocent like Lizzy and more acquainted with the horrors of the world that Alois has lived and seen. THIS FIC Y’ALL. CHANGED MY NEURONS. It’s like bruised ribs, an all-encompassing hug that softly hurts. It probably influenced my tastes in ships and fiction a lot gdbgdgd. I will never recover from it being discontinued, I will forever dream and wonder about what could have been. They’re so tragic. I’m gonna draw so much fanart of this fic when i can. Like just for his post I took the opportunity to go back and read the "butterflies are ugly" scene and the last chapter and many more excerpts and it makes me go rabid it makes me on the verge of tearssss, I could make a whole essay about this fanfic… Though! CW for ptsd, but otherwise it’s all very implied and not told. If you’ve seen the season and Alois’ character you know you have to prepare for actual dark shit. The fanfic isn’t graphic at all as I said, but if you know Alois’ backstory you know. As mentioned I did read this as a 11 years old and the dark stuff flew over my head it’s chill 👍

My aloizzy playlist!! I have a longer one but it’s 16+ because of aforementioned dark themes and I don’t wanna post it here. If you’re curious about some of my other playlist picks though, I recommend Appetite of a People Pleaser & Hansel by Soddiken

For better or for worse i don’t know But for what it’s worth I made you my whole world

— October passed me by, by Girl in red

[moonlit-orchid]

You already know who I'm gonna ask for😻 Astral for the ask prompt thingy?

Here we go!

Favourite thing about them

Everything His personality! I love how he is capable of being super serious and cold but also the sweetest guy ever! In the first season, especially near the start, he was the most sarcastic guy ever, and was just done with EVERYTHING, but under all that he's genuinely sweet, just look at him in Cross Duel XD

(I also really love his dub voice. It may sound a bit too old but it's really good, especially how he can sound like a fed up parent one second then a very loving brother the next)

Least favourite thing about them

What happened to him at the end. His way of getting Yuma to duel him in the final duel episode was a bit weird, and his attitude was not like him at all. I feel like it would have been more in character for him to be like 'I don't want to do this, but I have no choice, it's what I was entrusted to do...buuuuuut if you maybe duel me I'll have a reason not to' rather than the cold act he put on. I get that it was to raise stakes and all, but you can have a high stakes emotional duel without making one betray the others, like Joey and Yugi's duel in the Duelist Kingdom Arc. Also I am not happy that he was the only one who didn't get to stay on earth. If frickin' VECTOR deserved a normal life so did he!

Favourite line(s)

(Tired parent voice) "Two multiplied by four is eight"

"Oh, please. You snorer." (Yes he really did call Yuma this. Twice)

(Affection brother voice) "I believe that is called '✨detention✨'

The whole speech he gave when taking over the duel against 96 "Yuma, please know I will always be here to high five sky with you" (you hear that? That's me sobbing)

Also my favourite line (so far) in Cross Duel "I feel the same way about you <3" (this is just a dating sim at this point XD)

BrOTP

Him and Yuma! Obviously. They just ARE brothers, you can't convince me otherwise. I also like to think that Astral's mentally adopted Yuma and considers him his child. Aside from Yuma another one is him and Nelson- they're best friends post series and go off on anime rants at 2 am in the morning on the phone to each other and Nelson uses his connections to get Astral rare merch.

Also thanks to cross duel, him and Yugi are a brOTP (Astral likes how nice Yugi is and Yugi just wants to be there for him), as well as him and Yusei (he sees Yusei as a big brother, and he and Yuma remind Yusei of Leo and Luna, plus Yusei keeps an eye on him) and him and Yusaku (ptsd kids who help each other cope) and also him and Skye (they're both sweet kids and i love the idea of skye helping him calm down when he's triggered)

OTP

me None :)

I just don't ship him with anyone, he's very much aroace (i say that like i dont hc EVERYONE as aroace with only a few exceptions XD)

nOTP

(Hides) Him and Mist! I'm sorry, I know how popular that is, but I just can't ship them! I can easily see them as brothers, but not lovers. Not just because of them looking like twins but also I just don't think it would be a very healthy dynamic. (Also Astral and Don Thousand, because apparently that's a thing. Even if I didn't hc Don as Astral's father, that ship just makes me uncomfortable. Astral's clearly a child and Don is clearly an adult)

Random headcanon

Astral can drive despite being underage. Really really dangerously. He once had to drive a car because Kaito couldn't. In Kaito's words: "Never again!" Did they all live? Yes. Did Astral destory a lot of property? Also yes.

Unpopular opinion

I've already mentioned this one before: I can't hc Astral as nb/ using they/them pronouns. Canon has already established Astral as he/him, and while I fully understand if others want to hc him that way, I just can't, sorry.

Song I associate with them

Angel with a Shotgun (probably because of an amv I watched of him) and also Queen of Mean from Descendants 3 XD, I just think it suits the Sargasso events when he lost control. Also that bit in Happier than Ever, "I dont relate to you, cause I'd never treat me this shitty" sounds like him yelling at Eliphas.

Favourite picture of them

Any scene where he's smiling! (I have waaay too many screencaps to go hunting for one)

Example: THIS SCENE!

[vere-flores]

( SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE(S) SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG. )

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

That depends on who I'm RPing with. Obviously, I have lots of love for a certain ship, but I love all of Flora's ships and the different people she's gotten to meet/be with. My OTP out of Mandy's (@mandysxmuses) muses will always be Flora and Jemand because of that being our very first ship, and I've seen them develop the most. They've also had ups and downs all through their relationship due to how Jemand used to be and how the Void is. Though, I wouldn't say I have an OTP ship out of every ship Flora has. There are other OTP's I have where I have multiple ships with someone, but Mandy is the one that's probably been seen the most on my blog.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

I don't really mind, to be honest. Maybe it's because of the fact my mom is 5 years older than my dad, but age gaps haven't really bothered me. I can understand the issue with them, but I don't really mind as long as the ship is between consenting adults.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

Well, I will not post any NSFW on this blog, so if anyone wants to do that, then it would probably be best taken to Discord. But I've also struggled deciding this distinction myself. I haven't figured out how far it is too far for this blog myself, so I just try to avoid it entirely.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Not really. Most people have approached me for ships, which I kinda like. Because I'm the type who gets nervous mentioning about ships and whether someone wants to do that. At least I know that person is interested. The only thing I ask is that they've had some interaction prior so I can have an idea of their chemistry and develop an attachment.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Flora has many ships that I absolutely love! Like Dino from Shiro's @cioccolino, Xhilohrnia or Nia from @nascentwaves, Blaise's Kai from @voraxiia, Akihito from @thelazyeditor, and many more! I even have many more ships with @mandysxmuses and @eunciia. Most, if not all of Flora's current ships, are on her relationships doc, so feel free to ask about any of them!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Mm, it's not really a requirement or anything. If it happens naturally, that's just as awesome, too. I'm chill with whatever. If you want to establish a ship, let it happen naturally, or do a pre-established kind of thing, then I'm open to whatever you want to do! I might even, rarely, bring up shipping myself!

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

Don't get me wrong, I looove ships and romantic relationships with Flora, but I wouldn't call myself ship obsessed. I'm just chill with whatever! I love all Flora's ships and am happy to discuss more if that interests people! Just hit me up, don't be afraid!

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

Yes! Flora is multi-ship! She has multiple ships in different verses at this point!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

I am not in any fandoms atm, ^^ Not that I am, personally, against RPing with canons. I just haven't done it as much these days.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Just ask! Especially if you think our two muses could get along really well! Or if it happens naturally, then that's just as awesome, too! I just wouldn't want someone coming into an interaction, basically assuming a ship is gonna happen, especially without mentioning it to me first. It really just depends on the chemistry of the muses, but, honestly, Flora is not a hard person to ship/get along with, imo, ^^

I'm also chill with any sort of ship! Whether that is romantic or otherwise!

Idk if you're supposed to tag people in this so uh... you can steal it, too, like I have from other people on the dash, lol

[tsuzuruchipalace]

what are your favorite ittz (or maybe even ittz play character) headcanons?

hmm I feel like my headcanons are not really the traditional type 🤔 they're more like "how I interpret their dynamic" than cute or domestic hcs, so this list may be a bit boring soz 🙏

Also, I don't have a lot of consistent hcs because I think of so many scenarios for them that it depends on which scenarios to which hc applies to. The ones below are just the most universal ones I think about

More under the cut because I ended up writing too much again lol

My biggest and most favorite one is that they are character foils that hold an unconscious admiration for each other, but can't quite complete one another. I'm sitting on a draft that explains this in more detail, but it's the foundation of why they're my OTP. It's the reason why in almost all my fics, a constant theme is one reaching for the other, only to pull back before they get too close.

Itaru looks up to Tsuzuru and Tsuzuru trusts Itaru the most.

Tsuzuru is warm. Itaru is cold. Tsuzuru is the morning sun. Itaru is a lone star. Tsuzuru finds Itaru unfairly beautiful. Itaru finds Tsuzuru unfair in general.

If Tsuzuru doesn't make the first move, Itaru would never reveal his feelings.

From my twt: "They're two sides of the same coin. But when Tsuzuru yearns, it's timid and hesitant. But when Itaru yearns, it's hopeless and doomed."

I don't think they do pet names. Even after they get together, Tsuzuru continues to call him "Itaru-san" and Itaru simply calls him "Tsuzuru." Idk it just fits them.

Neither of them have had their first kiss yet because they're both LOSERS (affectionate)

Itaru is touchy when he's drunk and Tsuzuru just gets really into his feelings.

Itaru is more in love with Tsuzuru than Tsuzuru is with Itaru. Why? I like the pain :)

I only really have one play headcanon which I've mentioned before, which is that Merlin and Lancelot are two souls bounded by fate. Lancelot is the only one who can bring justice to Merlin's evil deeds. And Merlin is obsessed with bringing Lancelot down. It's kinda like a Batman and Joker situation. Even if they are sworn enemies, they cannot exist without the other.

I hope that these count as "headcanons" cuz I'm not entirely sure ahaha. I feel like at some point, I'm just saying words;; I have some more explicit headcanons as well, but I'd rather keep that in its own separate post.

Thanks for the ask! 🙇‍♂️

[a-master-procrastinator]

I saw @vespertine-legacy​ doing this and my stupid brain immediately demanded to do the same. I tried to resist, but failed miserably.

Bonus: Jaria isn’t exactly in a relationship, but she definitely got this message once.

[candy-man91]

Ships I Ship: Golden Trio Edition

In the HP fandom there are an innumerable amount of pairings between one or two characters. In this post I'll go over the ships that I like or have like in the past regarding the characters inside the Golden Trio. Be aware that all of this is only my opinion and in no way do I think that other ships are invalid because of what I like. This is just for fun.

Harry Potter

I always felt that Harry needed someone fun in his life. As someone who is constantly pessimistic and a "realist" regarding the future of his life Harry is sometimes unable to have a positive thought unless absolutely necessary (Patronus Charm).

There's a reason he enjoyed Ron's company a lot more than Hermione, Ron was there to remind him not what necessarily mattered, but what was also important in any person's life: fun.

So who better for Harry Potter than his best friend:

RON WEASLEY | Rarry

Who else but the first dynamic duo that Harry was a part of? Ron has been with Harry from the start. He has never been afraid to call out Harry when needed and he was even Harry favorite person.

The two could play Quidditch together and spend time doing things the two love doing seeing as they're almost two peas in a pod. And I'm about 92% sure that at some point Harry had a crush on Ron.

However, if Ron was not available for Harry or played for the other team there is a person who is just like him. Only with longer hair:

GINNY WEASLEY | Hinny

Just like Ron, except Ginny has boobs. I think from a standpoint she is one of the few people who could truly understand what it's like to have Voldemort constantly in their mind. She understands him in a way that Ron never could.

This is my OTP for Harry, but Rarry comes a close second. And what comes third is a bit more interesting. Harry needs someone that can take off his mind from Voldemort, someone who understands him as well as someone who knows what it's like to live through what he lived through:

LUNA LOVEGOOD | Lunarry

Luna and Harry have a lot in common, but one thing that Harry could relate to the year he met Luna is being an outcast and an outsider.

Even in his previous years Harry had always been an outsider, someone who outside their choice became someone not relatable and uneasy to comprehend. Luna was an outcast because of her choice to be eccentric.

Who else would know what it's like to lose someone in front of your eyes but Luna?

Ron Weasley

Ah yes, the youngest of the Weasley boys. Ron is someone who is always positive, funny and quite optimistic. Like we previously mentioned he is good for Harry, but is Harry good for him? Ron is not necessarily attracted to looks in fact he advised Harry against choosing someone purely for their look at the end of OoTP.

Ron is quite insecure and always needs someone who is aware of his achievements and what he's capable of. Someone who notices who he is and doesn't think he's just Harry's sidekick:

HERMIONE GRANGER | Romione

My OTP since I was eleven years old. Brains and brawn. Beauty and beast. Opposites attract. Friends to lovers. Is there something these two lovebirds can't do?

Hermione knows Ron, he has seen him at his worse as well at his best. He knows truly just how brave and courageous he is, as well as how kind and loyal he can be. Wether it was the moment they met, or during the disastrous Yule Ball, Ron was destined for Hermione and vice versa.

Someone who reminded him of serious important stuff, someone who challenged him without making him feel inadequate or stupid, someone who could calm his nerves before his first Quidditch match.

However, there had been times where Hermione has been too blunt or simply doesn't acknowledge Ron as a person. Who is someone that could be more perceptive:

LUNA LOVEGOOD | Runa / Red Moon

What else is there to say? From the moment the two of them met Luna thought Ron was funny and even expressed interest in having gone with Ron to the Yule Ball last year. Ron for his part thought she was... Looney.

That opinion however changed and throughout his fifth year and her fourth year he became aware of just how amazing she was. He even said so himself. Luna thinks well of Ron and has seen him in the face of danger, however she is also aware of his bluntness and isn't the type of person to stay quiet when it's clear he is less than nice.

But perhaps this is not enough praising? Who else could honestly praise Ron's achievements even more?:

LAVENDER BROWN | Ravender

To be honest I'm in the fence about this pairing. On one hand I love Ron and Hermione together and Lavender puts a wedge between the two. On the other I like the fact that Lavender likes Ron for who he is and isn't afraid to show her affection for him.

Unlike Hermione she didn't waste the chance to show her feelings for Ron by kissing him right after his first Quidditch Match. At the time I think Lavender was good for Ron as she took notice of him when Ron thought not even Hermione did. I think if Hermione was out of the picture she would be a really good partner to Ron.

Now, let's not forget something in common with this girls: Wisdom and intellect. Hermione, Luna and Lavender are all incredible clever at something in particular. Wether is books, wise advice, or Divination, so it seems that Ron is attracted to brains, how ironic considering his scars.

An honorable mention goes to Romionuna (A Ron, Hermione and Luna Polyamorous Pairing) I once stumbled across this ship in a fic and it left me quite a good taste.

Hermione Granger

The brightest witch of her age. Hermione was definitely the hardest of the three to pair with with as she is quite a special character. I think hers is probably the shortest of every list here.

RON WEASLEY | Romione

And that is because there is only one name on this list. Ronald Bilius Weasley is the only one for Hermione Granger and that is a fact. Even though I despise The Play That Shall Not Be Named I need to give them props for one thing only. The way that Ron and Hermione interact with each other. Even in a world where they never get together Hermione still pines for Ron and vice versa.

He makes her laugh, relax and is the source of most of her fun in the Wizarding World. He loves her and she loves him and guess what. It's canon. That's right, it doesn't matter if you dislike it because it happened and it's perfect and this presentation is done.

[blorbosexterminator]

I believe a lot of fanfic writers would be massively disappointed if they were to try and publish their fanfics (having changed the most identifying characteristics to present it as original work). bc one of the reasons why we never say anything when someone's writing is full of spelling mistakes or bad grammar or, imo the most serious flaws - plots, characters, the low quality of the story itself, the themes, the subtext, the deeper meaning, etc - the reason, besides the whole participating in fandom communities and the fact it's free, is that we easily overlook some of those things because we get to read more about the characters we already love. I know my ff standards are fairly low. and who hasn't found themselves in a situation where they've read through everything they initially wanted to read and then started reading even the fics they first disregarded bc they can't get enough of their otp. do you know how many times I've scrolled past some especially cringy parts of fanfics, but I still love them. when you publish it, you immediately lose that aspect and most reviewers and readers won't be particularly generous. I just think publishing ff has a very high chance of being a mistake, and if publishing houses are approaching ff writers, I don't think they're looking for high quality and I wonder how much they'd invest in serious editing. IMO those who write ff and want to be published should consider working on an original piece of work, or at least reworking their ff significantly. thanks for reading through my message.

Again, I can't say I disagree at all. Fanfiction doesn't hold a grasp in all of those aspects you mentioned against actual published books [and of course nothing at all against the few of those books we would actually dare to call literature] and we allow it and are fine with it, not just because it's free and about the community and about the basic delight in sharing more of the characters we care about, but because none of those things are the primarily function of fanfiction. You don't judge Ikea and an apartment you're going to rent in the same mannar. Ikea isn't a house. At least to me, fanfiction is only about the source material. If there is a fic that has a well-thought out plot and decent prose, but the characters are mischaracterized and/or the dynamics are inherently misunderstood, then it still fails at being a good fic to me. Because, simply, if what I'm looking for is a good plot and decent prose, then I'll just pick any, even a mediocre, book [and it'll be better than said fic]. So not only does fanfiction fail by large at competing in those elements, in the average ratio of good to bad fics, it's also the fact that even a good fic that does all of those things decently still won't hold a chance against an actual good book.

It's the same from a writing's perspective too. It's not exactly about effort but what sort of effort it is. If I feel like it, I can just post a fic because I want it out without spending millenia editing it. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But the point is, with fanfic I have the choice and it won't matter. And it's not just about the editing, the grammar, etc.

Anyway, yeah. They aren't looking for quality. It's still a capitalisic endeavor. Bad books, unfortunately, do sell. Fifty Shades of Grey made millions to an average fanfic writer. Doesn't make it a good book [and I doubt even a good fic before that]. And it's understandable with this current twitter and tiktok book market; honestly the things twitter authors write and tiktokers promote aren't at all that much better than fanfics. They are well aware of what makes them money, and if they're pursuing ao3 writers then they know the money they'll put in editing, they will get back tenfold. But if anyone thinks that's a win for fanfiction, they are mistaken. It's just an insane downgrade in published literature. And dare I say [while risking sounding like a Harold Bloom-like boomer] it's an insane downgrade in the generation/public's reading taste.

[funkypoacher]

OTP asks #5 😊

Boilerplate intro: I truly don’t have an OTP. If I try to single out one ship, another starts making angry noises in my head. Which begs the question: why do I ask for prompts on these OTP things? Without an answer, on with the show.

"Describe their cozy night in"

I interpreted ‘cozy’ as ‘comfortable’, and I think the most comfortable these two would be is post-resettlement of Edgewater when they’re mostly back at work, and with a few kids. Also I turned this into a prompt, go figure. 

Reed Tobson/Margaret DeLoughrey-Jung Edgewater, 2361

Three heads, none measuring taller than four feet, marched out the front door upon which Margaret laterly rested her brow when it was shut. Hand continuing to cradle the knob, she contemplated the quiet, such a thing portending issue were circumstances otherwise, but that was Halycon these days: a place in which to appreciate the unfamiliar as much as the average.

“What was that you mentioned to Ms. Wilkes?” 

Margaret turned to her husband. Reed stood at the threshold between sitting room and entrance hall, a small, buttoned sweater in hand—no doubt what one of the children had been wearing formerly, before Reed squeezed them into something more appropriate for an outing.

“Nothing. It was… Why, it was nothing!” Margaret offered this explanation smilingly as she walked past him, sitting on the sofa with a relieved sigh. “I simply mentioned how grateful we were for her help in taking the children for the evening. What with so many chores around the house to finish, and you—”she avoided his eye mischievously—”with so much paperwork.”

“Margaret!” Reed scolded.

“It was a white lie, I know,” Margaret defended, sprawling out luxuriously on the cushions while watching Reed fold the sweater, which he then tossed on a side-table. “But you do need a moment of quiet, you know. From the cannery, and from the children. And the new fashion is to let the body rest rather than ‘fortify the spirit with over-time’, and all that old-world nonsense. So sit”—she padded the sofa beside her—”take a break, and relax.”

Stiffly, Reed joined her. Postured taught on the cushion, he reported, after a full minute of tensely gripping his knees, “this is torture.”

“Dear, you’re not even trying,” Margaret remarked from behind closed eyes. Her head pillowed dreamily on the couch; her back-pain melted. While she disliked sloth, the rest given to her feet and ankles was equally delicious. This reverie was startled, however, upon feeling Reed leave the couch.

Green orbs opening blearily, she spotted her husband at the gramophone.

“Not one of mine,” she groaned.

But her husband, when set-about something, was positively bull-headed.

“Come,” Reed said, offering a hand. Margaret frowned at the invitation to dance, and frowned further when she heard the music start.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing,” she reminded him, voice sounding much like one of their children pouting.

“Then help me to do so,” Reed said with a small, charming smirk.

Accepting his offer, Margaret allowed her husband to take her into his arms, one snug around the small of her back, the other clasping her hand to his breast. Relenting, she moved in close, her heeled height keeping her head from pillowing on his shoulder; instead, she let his head rest on hers, and she sighed to feel his breath on her neck.

Margaret’s joyous sounds turned to grumbling as her own voice started spewing from the gramophone.

“Oh, I hate this one,” she complained.

“You hate all of yours,” Reed reminded, spinning them slow across the floor.

“I’m so pitchy. I remember suggesting another take,” Margaret recalled, as though fearful she might be blamed for crimes against decency. “And the slogan—it isn’t one of their better ones.”

“You sound lovely, Madge,” Reed assured her, a tinge of leisure and repose in his tone, at last. “You are lovely." His lips were warm on her throat. "Most lovely.”

And so the couple enjoyed their cozy night in, the children well taken care of elsewhere, the cannery momentarily forgotten, and the closest thing to saltuna to be seen was Margaret’s fishing for her husband’s compliments.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x16)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 16: You Picked the Wrong Weakness

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: did someone just go and tell the otp about the otp?

Word Count: you know that feeling when you have had a bad experience on some project or assignment or homework before. And you know that thing is going to come around again next month or something like that. And you just age yourself by giving yourself anxiety by thinking everything that could go worse in that area. Yeah. So, I kinda shut that off for a few hours and wrote this.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The Interview Room The camera is recording empty seats as a pair of voices grow louder with every second. "...it's like they don't even care about what the other person wants!" "...no, why would they. These rich daddies and their rich egos think they are the only ones thinking about the world." The camera swivels a bit to watch Peter and Scott enter with a new guest following them with a Caprisun in their hand. Peter: And why did you have to go ahead and help them? Shuri: *sits between Scott and Peter* *takes a long sip of her 'sun* What. I'm not going to give up any opportunity that involves space and weird energy boxes. Peter: Why did your brother even agree to it?? Shuri: *shrugs* all your sugar daddy had to say was 'what if it was Shuri'. And my thicc-head of a brother lost it like a rhino in a mating challenge. Peter: *scrunches his nose at the example* Scott: Great *sigh* now we'll never get to see them together. With your brains, those dads are probably already in space now. Shuri: Not so fast! They don't have the codes to neutralise the pandora's box yet. Peter and Scott: *look at each other*  Shuri: So teleportation might be delayed as long as I am kept happy?  Peter: *takes out a notebook* Scott: *takes out his phone and a card labelled Avengers Black Card* The camera pans in on a smirking Shuri sipping on her Capri sun.

Inside a Spaceship: Destination Unknown You and Loki were captured by the little drone flying at the same speed as the spaceship (which clearly had seen some remodelling, thanks to your rainbow buddies). Both of you were staring at something in front of you that lids by your waist level- something the outside drone was not able to capture because of the limited view in the spaceship window. The expressions on your face were serious. So was the arms-crossed stance. "Are you sure it wasn't just a noise?" Loki now had a finger on his lips in deep thought as he heard your words. "I am pretty sure of what I heard," he acknowledged without missing a beat. "So-" your voice faded as your fingers twirled in the air with a mind of their own- "that means he has...another..." "You really can't say it?" Loki looked at you with a questioning brow going up quite smoothly. You tsked. "It's my baby," you mentioned while Javier's camera watched you point down at slumbering Lulu. "I cannot just casually say he might have another hole and I think he farted through it. I cannot hurt my baby's feelings!" Loki scoffed. "Your baby's sleeping." "He still has ears." "You think he understands what a fart means?" "What do you think I've been teaching him when you, me or Javi pass the gas?" Loki's casual demeanour suddenly changed to an offended one. "I beg your pardon?" You were quick on your feet, already walking towards the front of the ship. "So, where exactly are we heading now? Aellae's next of kin? Though I find it hard to imagine she would have left your essence with anyone other than herself." Loki came and sat next to you, still pissed at that comment in those narrowed eyes. "I am going to circle back to your words-" he inhaled while you acted all innocent- "and no. We are not looking for anyone related to that witch." "Then are we looking for another one of your exes?" "No, we are n-" Loki stopped short, his lips right in a thin line as he stared at you. "Why are you so interested my exes?" You simply shrugged and raised your brows. "On the contrary, it seems your exes are still pretty interested in you." That casual expression turned into a familiar judgment as your head turned to look at him. "Though I wonder what did they find so-" you hands moved haphazardly- "interesting about you." Loki swivelled his captain seat towards you, locking your legs between his while grounding your armrests with his hands. Clicking the control button on your armrest, he moved your chair a bit closer to him, his face in close proximity to yours. Javier's camera panned in on the gulp moving down your throat while your eyelids did a flutter at this uncalled movement. The 4K caught those goosebumps rising right where his arm barely grazed yours and in the background, Lulu played an arousing violin piece. "Something you can only dream about, darling," he whispered. The violin picked up the charge in the air within its quick clean high notes. The only noise leaving you was the escape of the air stuck in your throat, shivering on its way out. "Of c-" you cleared your throat. trying to sit back up in your seat- "of course I can only fantasize. The reality makes me want to puck. Ugh!"

Loki: Y/N thinks space is all fun and games. What she does not realise is that just like earth, this universe too has an underworld. Ten times in size and twenty times as brutal. And Aellae was just the tip of the filthy iceberg. *camera zooms in on his tensed features* looks into the distance* Wonder who else she told about her. *looks back* *blinks* I'm taking her somewhere we can lie low for now. *rolls eyes* that is if she understands what lying low means. *sighs* 

You: *eating bread like a peasant famished for days* Hm? What? No *shakes head* 'm nod nerbous. *takes another bite* debinidly nod becoz o doki. He wash jus playing wee me. *viciously bites into the bread* *growls and buries head in your lap* 

"I am still telling you to ask for their help. It's not too late," you suggested in a composed manner, sitting in the co-pilot seat. "I am not calling seven alien boys just because you have a fetish for Korean pop bands." You thwacked his leg with yours. "I do not! And don't you dare talk shit about k-pop." Loki chuckled. "Why? What are going to do?" "I won't. But you know what k-pop fans are like, don't you?" The smile on Loki's face suddenly started to flicker away as he looked at the camera. "Remember that Vegas trip?" Clearing his throat, he adjusted himself on his seat, while you shared a devilish smirk with the camera. "We're going somewhere safe. Where I have a chance of getting my powers back and hopefully a gateway back to earth." You sat up. "Why didn't we go there in the first place?" Loki blinked, not really answering. You and the camera noticed the tension in his jaw. "It's not a place I like to talk about." The asteroid belt cleared in front of the spaceship to show the part of a planet covered in grey clouds shadowing frozen blue mountains and dark valleys. "Jotunheim," you whispered to yourself, letting the gloomy yet majestic scenery of the place reflect in your eyes. “Loki,” all humour in your voice seemed to dilute as you looked back at home, “we don’t have to go there. We-uh...we could go to one of Peter’s hideouts? Or maybe we could call the Boys and ask them to direct us to one of their safe places? You know, till we find a lead on your essence.” A smirk built upon the God's lips. "Is that concern I hear in your voice?" Those worry-laden brows suddenly dispersed all emotion to make way for anger. A slap made way from your hand to his right side of the back. The thwack was loud enough to wake Lulu and force a sincere 'ow' from the God's throat. "This concern is for me and my babies you awful animal," you growled, your voice considerably higher, "you think they'll survive there?"

Jotunheim If the mountains seemed to carry an eerie aura about them, the valleys were a straight suggestion of being pits straight to hell. To add to the effects of arriving at the gates of hell, the snow falling was harsh, to say the least. As soon as the door to the ship opened to let all the passengers feel the heat, the drone travelling outside took in travellers covered in thick fur. Javier carried Lulu on his front, both of them visible just with their faces- not to mention the former's blue eyes standing out over everything else in his surroundings. Loki too embraced the thick skin, looking quite the part of a Jotun till he picked up the hood of your coat to put it over your head without saying much; only smiling when you looked like a fluffed up birb in that Viking overcoat.

Loki: *smiling sheepishly**looks at you standing next to him* Angry birb *looks back at Javier's camera* Sam taught me that one. *camera pans at you simmering under that fur*

Lulu had already picked the background music for his pack's entrance. The Viking beat had just the right amount of weight and horror of the unknown in it as this place did. Just ahead of the pass lay the structure carved in the mountain itself. It could be called a palace or a temple. But that was not what sought your attention.  Eyes. The camera caught eyes in the dark staring at the unwanted guests. Blue. Piercing. Murderous. And more than one pair. The drone panned in on that one subconscious movement of your fingers gripping the fur of the coat on Loki's back as the God walked gallantly- as if he owned the planet. But your eyes did not stop to observe the alien movement around you. "Remember-" Loki's whisper brought you out of the daze your own thumping heart was creating for you- "do not show them your fear. Show them that you are to be feared." It may have been his words or just his voice that started to melt the fear visible on your features, lasting for five seconds before a loud thump vibrated the land beneath your feet, making you all come to a stop. And when that was not enough, the audience saw the feet first, then the legs and then the whole length of a Jotun appearing before them. Some necks were really going to feel it tonight.

"Who dares enter the land of Jotunheim?" came the thundering and low growl from the Jotun that stood towering over you all. "The one who is alive and stands on this land," Loki announced, "with the blood of Laufey in my veins, I have come to claim what is mine." There was nothing but an uninviting smirk on the Jotun's face. "I am Loki, son of Laufey, son of Odin, ruler of Asgard and your King," he commanded with ice in his voice, "and you...need to bow...before your King." The dead silence proceeding his threat of a speech was enough for you nearly bury you inside your own overcoat. And when that did not seem enough, your body- on its own- moved a step closer to Loki's side. "Oooooh Gooood," you whispered with quite the shudder while your face was plastered with a no-fucks-given wave, "we're gonna die." On the contrary, the silence was followed by many Jotuns coming out of the shadows to surround your group one by one before bowing down. Even the ones who looked quite young did the same. All of them except for the one Jotun who had greeted you first. "Allir fagna konungi!" they chanted in unison. "All hail the king," Javier translated it for you. "Didn't know you were into Nords," you quipped, "the language, I mean." "Honey, I am all into Nords," he signed before looking around with a smile, finding a buff Jotun that caught his eye. He did not take another second to blink at him and leave that giant a bit confused and flustered at the same time.

Inside the Palace The throne was sculpted out of ice that seemed as old as the mountain. Alongside it had been made seating arrangements for the family, running parallel till the doors of the throne room, all greyish blue stones marked with Jotun carvings. You and Javier believed they might be names of dignitaries. Lulu thought they are just doodles by other babies and proceeded to contribute to the stone they were standing next to. A little female giant sat down and looked at Lulu's doodles with curious wide eyes. Loki stood rightfully in front of his throne, admiring it before turning to his subjects, most of them adults who were exceptionally taller and blue-er than him. The drone captured the magnificence of the throne room that had fire pits next to the seats at intervals right alongside the stone pillars and right in the middle, a few feet in front of the king. But none of them were lit. And the giants were visibly annoyed by the drone while the kids wanted to catch it and play with it. "An Asgardian announces himself as our King," the one giant growled as he stood at the steps of the throne, "why would we believe you to be our King, son of Odin." He nearly spat the last part. The drone captured that bit of concern breaking out on your composed features but Loki just smirked. Pulling his overcoat to the side- as magnificently as he believed himself to be- he sat down as if he has done it ever since he was born. The authority exuding from his presence certainly put the murmurs going around the hall to a standstill. "At ease, Helblindi," he stressed to the giant with a purr and directed the rest of the audience to take their place. "Not you." Everyone stopped short to looked at their king. And he was clearly looking at you. You pointed a finger at yourself in question. "Don't you know your place....pet?" he commanded ever so slyly, discreetly pointing his finger at the stone next to his throne.

You: *look around to make sure no one's looking at you* *anger about to explode through your eyes* *whispering* Pet?? PET?? I swear gonna just *gestures to grab the air* grab his throat and *punches the said air repeatedly in her palm*  *camera pans out to focus on three baby giants looking at you in pure horror before their mother carries them away murmuring something* *camera swivels to show Javier looking disappointed* Javier: *signs* she said 'stay away from the crazy human'. *sighs* *shakes his head*

“Come-“ Loki’s fingers gestured at you to come over to that stone couch of a thing next to him- “sit.” Taking a breath to compose your usual embers of rage at that comment, you smiled and walked up the stairs to stand next to him. The camera recorded the little gracious bow you gave the God but not before your back was to the spectators and you signalled an insult with your middle towards him, nearly making him chuckle. And with one heavy inhale, you sat down next to him, clearly not at the same level as him. “Is this what Lulu feels like?” “I would’ve made Lulu sit in my lap,” Loki acknowledged with a smirk. “You’re welcome to join me anytime but for now-“ he adjusted himself on his seat and raised his voice to address the court- “let us have a feast tonight and raise our mugs in union of the Jotun king and his subjects.” Helblindi scoffed and spat on the floor. Loki did not look but he was surely observing his every move. “In union of an excuse of a giant who does not even resemble-“ “I would like you to stop there my brother-“ Loki announced as he got up, letting the whole room take one united gasp at the scene- “before you start regretting your own words.” You blinked at the reactions to turn and look at Loki. Now the lights from the ceiling did a stupendous job of catching the widening of your eyes while your pupils were dilated in an emotion only known to you when you witnessed- for the first time in your life- Loki's skin change its shade and features. The flawless paleness gave way to a blue so deep over those arms he rarely displayed in public. The colour ran up his neck as well, covering him all the way. And along with this shade came ridges on his skin which apparently every Jotun had; running up his face and down his limbs. Those smaragdines and whites around them were now replaced with red. “This Jotun-“ his voice was low, but with enough weight that it echoed to the last corner of the room- “has seen enough lives to know what is hatred and what is fear. So next time you try to question my right, Helblindi, know that I have no qualms in exploiting them in a way which seems necessary for me.” Helbindi did not seem to stand his ground much now. Not after a few Jotuns who stood up to speak against the giant who had been torturing them for a while with his reckless and greed-ridden laws. Javier's camera was stuck on your reaction in the middle of this mild chaos. Your parted lips, wide eyes, stare lingering all over the God's body, your throat feeling the urge to swallow the dryness; it really was a sight, an emotion that many fanfiction artists would want to take inspiration from. Loki- who was smirking at the warm welcome he was receiving through the roar against his brother- turned around to look at you. His smirk disappeared and his usually focused gaze was interrupted with those unsure blinks at your features. Before he could explain himself, one giantess blocked his way to you with a bow. "We have prepared the Bath for you and your companions, your grace," she announced, still with her head held low. His gaze was running between you and her. To make it easier for him, you got up from your seat and walked down to the giantess who wanted to show you, Javier and Lulu to the Bath. "Nandi," Loki finally looked at the giantess. "Yes, your grace." "I need you to choose four of your most loyal companions to guard them." "They are all ready to escort your companions where you please." Loki smiled at Nandi. "I owe it to your mother to protect you, your Grace, like she protected me and my children." "My mother had a loyal friend in you," the God appreciated before walking down the throne and away from the crowd. The drone followed him.  The graceful composure of the God crumbled like a dry sand castle as soon as the doors closed behind him and he was alone in the icy corridors. His pace got faster by the second, his eyes searching everywhere. "This isn't fair, you know." Loki stopped at the echo of your voice. The pause of one breath, and he knew where to turn to find you standing in the shadows. Javier stood by the pillar next to you two with his camera, capturing this strange tick on Loki's features. You stepped out of the shadows, your gaze uninterrupted, looking right at those red eyes. "Do you know the amount of chaos it would create on earth if people knew that you look like..." "Like what? A monster?" Loki's voice was heavy. "Nah don't say i-dammit! Now I cannot stop imagining the term monsterfuckers." Loki blinked. His brows furrowed at you ever so slightly. "I mean-" you sighed with frustration- "was it not enough that you looked like a literal God in a human form that you had to now go and reveal that you are one buffed up alien? Look at you? You are one breath away from starting a cult of monsterfuckers! Do you realise that? Look at-" you grabbed that one barely naked blue arm and tried to squeeze it- "this firm, cold, arm that is people are going think about in-" you tried to breathe, your gaze still stuck on his shoulder- "their bed at night. God, why do have to be so-" you pointed at all of him with a frustration-filled, longing look of...disgust- "you." By now Loki was raising his brows in question and shifting his gaze between himself and you, clearly confused by your reaction. It even seemed he was a bit flustered at one point. You winced, looking at his body again. Your eyes followed the ridges on his face to his neck, plunging down his v neck t-shirt. With a frown you turned hastily, flinging your body involuntarily in the direction of the bath. "I bet they go all the way down," you whispered to yourself in between your sobs and walked away.

Loki: *still stands there* *blinks* *looks at the camera* what...*looks in her direction* *looks back* *does this two more times* what just happened?

The Resting Chambers: Next Day One of Javier's drones followed you from the balcony you were standing in to witness the first light of the nearest star in this frozen land. The snow-clad mountains were a majestic sight in their own stature. Even the smile emanating under the warmth of the star could not deny that. The giggles coming from inside the room broke the sweet hum of sync you were having with the weather, walking back in to find Skandi and Kolga, Nandi's daughters setting up the table with Jotunheim's specialities- snowberries, Kruweed- fresh seaweed from the frozen lake- and Lulu's favourite, spiked abalones. "What are you girls snickering about?" Lulu was already jumping on the table to sniff everything placed for his liking. Once he had inspected every single item, he went over to his bowl of abalones.

"Nothing," Skandi cooed, "just discussing how Loki-" Kolga elbowed her sister to correct herself- "how his Grace, keeps looking at you." Your hands paused for a fraction of a second near your mouth before the snowberry found its way in your mouth. "Look at me how?" "He looks at you as if you might vanish any second if he does not keep his eye on you," Kolga added, sitting down next to you. Her face had gentle tones all over it. Her eyes seemed to sparkle whenever she talked to you. "Are you being punished for something?" It took you some time to realise she was genuinely curious. "What. No. Why would you think that?" "Because his grace keeps you under guard. I thought pets were kept in cages in Midgard." Skandi turned to Kolga with a gasp. "He caged her last night then?!" The camera captured your furrowed brows sitting there confused in between the sisters. You opened your mouth to speak but lost to Kolga. "You mean when he told off Helbindi that she will be sleeping in his quarters." Skandi nodded vigorously. "He could not have kept her in a real cage." "Maybe he chained her to the bed." "Ah. So he could keep an eye on her at night." "Is that what happened, y/n?" You hid your face behind the mug of tea that did not seem to leave your lips while your free hand seemed to check your cheeks for their temperature. "This tea is good," your burned throat appreciated the drink. "He seems quite...what is the word... possessive of her," Skandi commented. You shared a look with the drone- your face devoid of any emotions. Kolga hummed in agreement, popping a snowberry in her mouth. "I thought Kruge would die last night by his hands." Now that seemed to catch your attention. "Kruge who?" "Helbindi's guard. The one who nearly pushed you into the wall last night." "When you went inside," Kolga continued, "his Grace took Kruge's staff and struck him in his limbs and threatened him to never touch you again if he wanted to stay alive." "Kruge should be glad he did not use his powers on him lest he would be a part of the dark pit's icicles by now." Kolga and Skandi stopped talked to watch you lost in deep thought while your hands scratched Lulu's back on their own, making the floof purr quite loud. "Is she making this little creature vibrate?" Skandi asked her sister in a whisper. "It looks like it," her sister whispered back in awe.

You: *whispering at Javier* What? No, it's okay. We can record here. No one can say anything. *sits on the stone seat in the gallery that seems empty to the camera* *adjusts hair* is it recording? Of course. It's always recording. *clears throat* *at normal tone* So, clearly...*inhales* *raises brows* things are barely standing still right now. And it is clearly not helping that Loki is having sudden urges to pick a fight with whoever bullies me. *Javier's drone catches him discreetly signing at you to lower your voice a bit* You: *irritated* I mean does he want me to get bullied more? Bullies are always going to pick on the weak one in the group for fuck's sake! And evidently, I am the weaker sex. *the camera catches a movement behind you, turning to focus on the source* You: and his highness does not seem to realise that it will be too easy for these giants to torture his weaknesses out of me. Does he not see that? *squints at Javier* what? The drone is recording Javier aggressively telling you to cut it out while looking pale as his gaze goes far behind you. You turn to look where his gaze is going. Javier's camera automatically focuses on Kruge standing next to the last pillar, throwing daggers in your direction through his bloody eyes for a moment before disappearing somewhere. You: *turn around with a shade lighter yourself* *the camera is panning over your face now as you look at it* *whispers* Fuck!

Five Minutes Later One of the drones buzzed against the ice that separated the balcony and the bedroom, tapping itself repeatedly on the transparent frost till the door to the room opened. It turned around to record you and Javier rush inside- the latter placing his camera in his bag and packing his stuff. "Okay, relax, relax!" you stressed to the hyperventilating boy. "We need to get out of here," he signed. "Javi, take three deep breaths? Yes? One? Two? Good. Three. Now think about it. As long as we are with Loki, no one will dare harm us. Okay? Not to mention he has allotted us our personal security team." Javier was on the verge of sobbing. "What about when Loki is not around. What will we do then?" "Javi, don't think like that," you nearly fumed at him. "Loki is in the throne room right now. You take the guards with you and go to him and when you find a window let him know what happened, okay?" Javier was still taking deep breaths while sweating through his fur coat. He nodded. "What about you?" "I...have Lulu." You pointed at the floof sleeping with his belly bared and his paws out. "I won't leave the room, don't worry." Once convinced you'll be fine, Javier hurried outside, leaving you in a silence only filled by light snores of your baby. The drone recorded you biting your lip and tying your hair up in a bun. "Okay," you whispered to yourself, "now we wait." It also recorded the sudden change in the shade of one section of the wall opposite to your back. With the focus still on you, the section of the wall appeared to open out, revealing the pitch blackness lit by a pair of red eyes. The next thing you knew, the drone was lying on the floor, its barely working lens recording your muffled screams and boots struggling to find the ground as a pair of blue feet walked past the lens before it went black.

One Hour Later The camera sat on the stone seat, recording the periodic tapping of Javier's foot from outside the frame. Loki still had audience. The Jotuns discussed every aspect of Jotunheim with the king. Loki sat patiently, listening to every word before advising them necessary steps. The majority was satisfied with the King's suggestions. Many were even in awe. There were a few who were dissatisfied no matter what the God mentioned. "Well-" Loki sat straight, addressing the whole court- "this concludes our day then." "Your grace," one giant bowed at the steps, "there are a few more issues that need your kind attention." Loki sighed, his hand resting on the armrest, his fingers running over his lips in thought. Not sure about Loki, but the camera recorded the patient that ran out of Javier. He got up from his seat, immediately catching the God's eye, who was quick to raise his fingers just for the boy to stop taking any further steps towards him.  "You have stalled me enough," the God acknowledged, catching the giant off guard. "Helbindi should know it better than anyone that a coup against me would be a futile attempt." Loki did not budge where he sat, just his finger drumming on the arm rest. "And I am in no mood for a mutiny."

.

The one drone who had been playing with the Jotun kids picked up the damage to a drone in the resting chambers. It buzzed through the halls, trying to pick up your trail, finding corridors and corners to fly through, walking down dark pathways with no windows and steep stairs spiraling deep into the mountains. On its way it found Lulu howling and meowing in a frantic daze, walking down the same path where he found your scent. And it seemed like he found you through the same dark pathway that ultimately reached an opening.  There was nothing but ice all around and in every form. A section of the mountain that opened to the outside with a catch. There were cells cut into this ice for prisoners. Shackles of cold metal rested in every cell. Each of them had metals bars to keep the captives in and an opening in the ice to keep any grain of warmth out. And to add to it all, this entire prison cell rested on a frost chunk hanging at the edge of the mountain. "Stop, please, you cannot do this!" Your voice and footsteps could be heard echoing through this section. The drone buzzed and landed on the wall to record the Kruge stripping you of your fur coat with a maniacal grin on his face. "Hey! HEY!! Give me back my coat!" Kruge stopped you from going for your coat by his hand coming for your throat. His grip made it hard for you to breathe as you struggled to get out of the hold, your nails trying their best to dig into that stubborn cold skin of his. Lulu ran and growled at the giant, scratching at his ankles till the latter kicked him away. "What do you want?" you barely managed to get out of your mouth. "We want Loki out of Jotunheim," he growled in your face, smacking your back in the ice wall behind you before letting go of your throat. You fell down with a thud and a groan, taking in as much air as your windpipe allowed. "Okay," you wheezed, "okay. You let me talk to Loki and I will convince him to leave Jotunheim. I promise. I pinky promise." You even raised your pinky. But Kruge was already closing the bars on you. Lulu ran and jumped through the bars to stop by your side, sniffing and crying, wanting to make sure you were okay. "No no no no," you crawled to the bars, trying to wrap your fingers around them but failing once your skin felt the vicious cold personally, "please don't do this. You have to stop. Now." "You said you know Loki's weakness," a voice boomed from the shadows where you had been dragged from. A very familiar and ominous voice. The drone turned to capture Helbindi stepping into the ice prison with a stature fit for kings. "His essence is lost. It is a secret no more, you quim." You looked at Lulu in confused defeat. "Why does it feel like he called me a whore?" you whispered. Lulu threw his own curses at the giant. "Listen, sir, Mr Helbindi," you began, "you want the throne, right? And I want to get out of here alive. How about I take Loki with me? You get back your kingly rights, I get my friends back and we go our separate ways. Everybody wins!" Helbindi came down on his knees in front of you. A smile rested on those cracked lips of his. His hand went past the bars- to your surprise- and landed on your cheeks. Your gaze kept shifting between his eyes and his hand while your body tried to move away from his hold. But he was one stubborn bastard. "He must have kept you alive for a reason." Helbindi was talking to himself now. His thumb rubbed against your skin, something that was visibly making you uncomfortable. "Ah...he keeps you to satisfy his nightly needs." You pushed yourself away from Helbindi, only to be forced into the bars by his hold around your skull; his chuckle resonating through the prison. "Do not worry my little whore," he whispered right in your ear while his icy breath ran over your skin, "you will be my pet soon. And unlike Loki-" he licked your cheek with his tongue, driving you mad with disgust- "I prefer violence even in my chambers." Your breaths were shallow. A single tear falling from your eyes as you did you best to maintain your features. "You are making a grave mistake," you whispered through your teeth. Lulu tried to claw at Helbindi too but Kruge was already kicking him away, earning a death stare from you. The giant struck his nail in your throat, driving it deep till there was blood. "The only mistake that was made was by you coming into my land. And you all will pay for it." Dropping you back into the snow, Helbindi got up and walked back into the darkness.

.

Loki watched the doors open to let Helbindi in, his gait ever so dominating as he walked past the judgmental eyes of every other giant in the court with his own little battalion following him, carrying weapons of all sorts. "A king with no powers has no right to sit on the throne, Laufeyson," Helbindi roared, ground his staff a few feet away from the stairs to the throne, creating a crack in the ground. "And a Jotun with Asgard in his blood has no right to stay alive in Jotunheim." Weapons were drawn at anyone who was not on Helbindi's side. Javier was already on his feet, running by Loki's side with his camera. Loki still had his mouth covered with his hand, as if in a tired trance. "Everybody out," he commanded ever so smoothly to his audience- who was hesitant at first, but left as soon as the God's eyes pierced through every last one of them. Left alone with his brother's radical followers, he sighed out loud, his fingers still drumming. Javier felt a buzz in his pocket, making him take out the little tablet he used to control his cameras. "Your actions with every passing moment make me more sure of your inability to rule over the subjects, brother mine," the God simply commented. The seriousness on Javier's face was turning into a field of fear. "Oh, I am not asking, brother mine," Helbindi snared at Loki, "I am taking what is mine." "And why would I give you anything you want." "Ask your little plaything," Helbindi smirked. The drumming of those pale fingers stopped. Silence eroded in the throne room. And slowly a shallow panting was audible from the God's side. The camera suddenly lost its balance and fell down on the armrest before toppling on the throne behind Loki, his back still in the frame. Light reflected through Javier's eyes, more precisely through his tears, as he moved the tablet towards Loki. "Stop, please, you cannot do this!" your voice echoed through the tablet, and all the lines on Loki's face disappeared. His body got up from the throne, his eyes still stuck on the device, looking at the aftermath of Helbindi's actions. There was no emotion on the God's face while he witnessed everything recorded on the drone. He did not even budge till the recording finished. Once the screen blacked out, he swerved the tablet for Javier to take back. His gaze was apparently still stuck on the black stones on the floor, his jaw threateningly sharp in whatever light coming from the nearest star. "If you want to see her alive again, go back to your ship before the star drops fro-," "You touched her." His voice was just a decibel higher than a whisper; his shoulders stiff. The silver bracelets were visible on his wrists, more so with the light reflecting from them. His pale fingers now turned into fists. "You hurt her."  Nothing but the resonating crack of a metal reverberated through the hall and everything went black.

.

The drone sat over the bars, recording the visible shivering breaths coming out of you while your skin turned pale, your fingers blue and your hairs were already collecting frost over them, despite moving your legs as close as you possibly could to your body. "P-plea-hease," your voice shuddered, "s-s-stop hi-im. T-there is-s-s st-i-ill time." "Your master is quite possibly begging on his knees by now," Kruge cackled, gulping down the mead and pouring more from the barrel next to him. Lulu was trying his best to keep your warm with his little body, wrapping himself around your neck while whimpering for you. Kruge was about to finish another mug when his ears caught a snicker that slowly turned into a weak laughter. The drone recorded you chuckling through the pain of the blight. "What is so comedic," Kruge snarled at you. "You thought I was telling you to stop for Loki's sake?" you laughed a little more, making the Jotun simmer with building rage. "I was telling you to stop your master before it's too late, you sewage rat's tick." The lens panned in on your features, all those helpless tears replaced by a smirk that could put the devil to shame. "You master thinks I am Loki's weakness." Your eyes glistened with a tint of some hidden darkness inside them in contrast to all the white around you. "Because I made him think that, you buffoon." "He is nothing without his essen-" "Count your peaceful breaths, you son of a bitch," you stressed, never batting your eyelids, "because you are not going to die an easy death today." You smiled turned into a chuckle before your eyes turned heavy and you fell down. The drone- in its last few minutes- went dark, but not before recording Lulu's cried, mewls, howls that slowly turned into a blood curdling roar echoing till the end.

[akitokihojo]

Stay

Woah, two posts in one day? Yeah... yeeeeeeah. I don't usually post so late, but as I sat here staring at this document, I realized that if I don't post it now, I never will.

Okay, look, this story is extremely personal for me and I want to give a warning about that. If you know me or have been following me for a while, you may have noticed I tend to keep to myself, I'm quiet, and I'm private. But, as most humans, I have things I battle, too. I've been through things, too.

My coping mechanisms are humor and "add to cart." My therapy is writing. I decided to give this a shot. I've gotten personal with older fics before, but it's vague and I sort of lightly mix it in there like food seasonings. "Everything's Okay" and "A Moment" are examples of which. This story is largely based off something real. The emotion behind it is real. Very real.

Now, I will admit, the comfort added isn't. It's something I've realized over the past couple of years that I both crave and deserve. It's something that would help me incredibly, and maybe it's unrealistic, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I want it. So bad. So, I wrote. I made it happen.

I decided to project everything into my comfort otp, so if either Kagome or Inuyasha seem out of character, it's because they are. Sorry about that. It was difficult to keep their characteristics in tact. Particularly, Inuyasha. He's unbelievably soft here.

This is sloppy. I did my best to edit, but like I said, the longer I sat on it, the less likely it was bound to be posted. Just consider it unfiltered emotions if it seems messy, because that's what it's supposed to be.

Some disclaimers that I'll open up about: Yes, all of those negative things have been said to me by a past ex. What Kagome tells Inuyasha is very real for me. Also, replace "abusive father" with "abusive mother" and you've got it. :) I just didn't feel comfortable disrespecting mama higurashi with such slander, so since Kagome's father isn't in the picture, it was simpler.

Okay, I'm done. Thank you. If you read this, thank you. Again.

---

“Come on, Kagome. Show me.” Inuyasha encouraged supportively.

Kagome sighed, adjusting the shorts a bit better around her waist as she stared at herself in the mirror on the inside of the door. She’d comfortably tucked herself away in the walk-in closet of her boyfriend’s bedroom, preferring the space she had and the length of the mirror as opposed to the bathroom that only showed her up to her hips unless she bounced to her tippy toes.

“Houston, we have a problem.” She spoke.

“Define ‘problem.’” Inuyasha proposed. “Because, I realized a long time ago that you and I have two totally different definitions of the word.”

No, this was a definite problem. Unfortunately, it seemed she’d purchased clothing from one of the retailers that didn’t quite grasp that some woman had thicker asses and thighs. The shorts fit, but they hugged her in places she needed a little more room in. God forbid, she sit down. Then, they’d fit her like underwear.

The band was comfortable along her hips, but felt a little better if she pulled it up a smidge toward her waist. But then the underside of her booty cheeks popped out, and that for sure wasn’t something she could sport in public. Or, she could. She just wouldn’t be comfortable doing so. It wasn’t her style. She preferred a hint of more modesty. Not to mention, the shorts were very tight against her lady bits, and that was definitely something she didn’t want her clothing riding up on.

“Babe.”

“Curse these thighs.”

“Oh, see what I mean?” He chimed from the other side of the door. “That’s the exact opposite of a problem.”

“It’s a problem if the shorts don’t fit, Inuyasha.”

“Show me.”

“They don’t fit.”

“Okay, we’ll return them. But, show me first.”

“Why do you want to see them if they don’t fit?” She laughed lightly.

“Why wouldn’t I? Do I have to spell this out to you every time?” Inuyasha asked, making it obvious that he was feigning irritation.

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“Alright, first of all, I know you’re ridiculously critical of yourself. I have a more objective point of view, and therefore that makes my opinion the only valid one here.”

“Hey -“

“I’m not finished. Second, I love seeing you in tight clothing. That’s a given. You don’t have to keep it, and you should always wear things you’re comfortable in, but at least do the right thing and let me see first. I think I deserve that much. Third, and most importantly, ass and thighs. Your ass and thighs.” Inuyasha made a chef’s kiss motion even though she couldn’t see, losing himself in the thought of some of his favorite assets of hers. “You know damn well how much I love them. So, please - please - come out and show me, Kagome.”

Behind the door, she fought her smile, losing so quickly it was as if she hardly stood a chance against it. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her body, but he was right. There were some imperfections that had her self-conscious at times, and he knew without saying when they started dating over five months ago that her thighs were one of them. And, she could tell the half demon she called hers genuinely adored everything she deemed unworthy.

Giving a minor adjustment to make sure the area between her thighs had enough room to breathe, she sighed out any apprehension and opened the door. Inuyasha sat on the edge of the bed waiting, golden eyes instantly on her. He skimmed over the way she’d tucked her shirt into the underside of her bra to keep it out of the way, gazed at her tummy for a small moment, then drifted his sights down to the shorts hugging her snuggly.

He barely blinked, his expression practically blanking, and Kagome’s cheeks went red hot.

“Inuyasha?”

“Shh. I’m concentrating.”

Kagome laughed, turning away from him bashfully.

“Shit, no! I wasn’t ready for that!” He cried, pressing the heels of his hands into his temples as if he were in a panic. Her ass. It looked phenomenal. He wasn’t mentally prepared to see just how plump it looked in those bottoms, and it sent his mind reeling.

“What!?” She gasped, her hands instinctually falling to cover her butt as she spun back to face the way she’d originally been.

“Oh my god.” Inuyasha mewled. “Are you kidding me, Kagome!? Where’s the problem!? Where’s the mother fucking problem!? Because, I don’t see it!”

It was thought to be impossible, but she felt her face flush even hotter. So hot, she wanted to hide it, knowing full and well her embarrassment was visible and prominent. She kind of tucked her head down slightly, hoping the dim lighting in his room would be her ally and shade her blush while she presented her issues with the garment of clothing.

“Well, it’s tight on my thighs. See, when I do this -“ She explained as she lifted her leg slightly as if she was going to take a step forward. The bottom hem of her shorts tightened against her quad, squeezing around the plush before riding up an inch. “It’s not very comfortable. I like a bit of a looser fit. And, then my butt. It’s suffocating. I’m scared one wrong move will make these shorts rip.”

“God forbid.”

“Inuyasha, seriously.” She deadpanned.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m listening. Anything else?” He apologized with a grin, conceding.

“Yes. I can’t sit in these.”

“Why not?”

“Too tight.”

“So, you literally can’t sit?”

“No, I mean I’m sure I can. It’s just not a good idea.”

“Because, they’ll rip?”

“That. Or, they’ll turn into chonies.”

“What?”

“Underwear.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you got such versatile clothing. I could have sworn we were nowhere near the lingerie section.”

Kagome laughed through her groan, tossing her head back in minor exasperation due to her boyfriend’s sarcasm. It was going to be hard to describe, and she was sure if she attempted such he’d only throw more jokes her way, so she shut her mouth and decidedly took to demonstrating her vexation. She crossed the floor, hoped for the best, and plopped into a seat right next to Inuyasha. Her thighs fluffed out and her shorts effectively rode all the way up, giving her legs the attention they apparently demanded.

Inuyasha’s eyes were glued to her thighs and the way her clothing wrinkled along her anatomy. He’d had to press his lips into a tight line to prevent their proud and joyful crinkle, but it was so desperately difficult to fend off. Kagome was quick to notice and her brows pinched together, a small pout forming.

“You tricked me.” She murmured. “You wanted me to sit down, didn’t you?”

“I’ll admit, it was a lot easier than I expected it would be.” He said, gently stroking the pads of his fingers over the softness of her legs. “Again, I find it important to remind you that you and I clearly have very different definitions of what a problem is. This… this is not a problem. Not at all.”

“Well, see, I sort of wanted to be able to wear these outside of your apartment.” Kagome giggled, inadvertently melting into his touch. It was so light, it almost tickled, but she felt his warmth radiating from his hand, she felt his attraction, she felt his good-natured and honest feelings toward her body, and it was nothing short of what she both wanted and needed right now.

“I know, I know. We’ll return them and get a larger pair. Still, not a problem.” He grinned, planting his whole palm on her thigh and sliding it inward, shoving it to sit in the heat between. He leaned over and kissed her temple.

“Don’t even think about it.” Kagome hummed, leaning into his tender touch.

“Hm?”

“You’re about to lay down on my thighs, aren’t you?”

“What? I can’t?” The half demon pouted with legitimate shock on his brow.

“The moment you’re down, you’re down. You know damn well you’re not getting up if I let you, and I want to get out of these shorts.”

“But, Kagome -“

“Boy, if you knew exactly how these are constricting certain areas, you’d understand.” She laughed, playfully shoving his hand off of her as she stood. Before walking toward the closet where she’d left her skirt, she turned to face her boyfriend, bending at the waist and pushing his bangs from his forehead to plant a kiss against his skin. “I should get going soon, anyway. It’s getting late.”

“Don’t go, then.” He said, tone gruff as his amber eyes met hers. “Stay with me.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d asked her to stay the night, impromptu. Far from it. Every time, though, caused something in her chest to stir, something in her stomach to flutter, something in her bloodstream to effervesce in both a wonderful and unsettling way - the unsettling part deriding from a different emotion she’d recently noticed planting its roots somewhere inside of her. Inuyasha grabbed her hand, running his thumb over the tops of her fingers while his expression shifted to one of seriousness. No jokes, no funny business, no sarcasm was present any longer.

“I don’t feel like I got all the time I wanted with you. Since we were out and about most of the day, I feel like I had to share parts of you with the world, so now that it’s just you and I, I’m not quite ready to let you go. Will you stay?”

Internally, Kagome was telling herself to keep it together. It was such a small gesture, such a tiny request, but it was always the little things he said to her, like this, the mannerisms he displayed when he was sincere, the way his amber eyes met hers when he waited for her answer that had her feeling unstable. Like, she could cry. Like, she was more afraid than she was thirty seconds ago, or an hour ago, or when she saw his smile earlier this afternoon when they met up, or last night, or when she crashed and burned upon realizing what, exactly, it was she felt for Inuyasha a month ago. She swallowed, forcing herself to show none of that as she made a small smile appear on her face.

“Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?”

A grin sprouted on Inuyasha’s lips as he kissed the hand he held, standing to cross over to his dresser.

“You want your favorite, or a different one?” He asked, ignoring the twitch his own sensitive ear gave as the wood scraped open.

“Whichever. Can I take a shower?”

“Of course.” He said in a manner that suggested she knew she didn’t have to ask by now. He was well-acquainted with her routine and how she preferred showers before bed as opposed to first thing in the morning. That, and they’d recently gotten her some extra toiletries to store in his bathroom for times she stayed over. He was equipped for her company, and sooner or later, Kagome was bound to learn that she was more than welcome to treat his place as her own. Her scent, her voice, her contagious laughter were all he needed, and if his apartment was filled with it, Inuyasha couldn’t think of anything that would make him happier.

Kagome took the large band tee the hanyou offered with a grateful smile and snagged some boxers from the top drawer he’d just opened with a playful, little scrunch of her nose before ambling over to the closet to pick up her skirt and reach for a towel on the shelf.

Why? Why was her heart thumping uncontrollably? She was so happy. So, so, so content. But, yet a crippling sensation was crawling its way up her esophagus to make home in her throat; to grow large, and dense, and sit there to make it impossible to swallow any longer. Ever since that night a month ago, when she’d hung up the phone after a goodnight call with Inuyasha - who was traveling at the time for work, was beyond tired, spoke to her in that husky tone she was utterly weak for, and who’d called out of mere courtesy to let her know he’d made it to his destination safely - she hadn’t been feeling secure. Not because of him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, despite their little, bickering spats and his tendency to get a bit jealous over guys she spoke to, he was doing everything right. He wasn’t the one giving her reason to fear. It was her.

It was what she’d been through.

It was something she was so terrified he would turn around and say to her, that it practically debilitated her rational mind.

But, still, the feeling it stemmed from grew and expanded, the tree roots burying themselves in the soil of her heart, and Kagome was positive by now, after thirty days had passed with no decrease but, instead, the exact opposite, that there was no convincing herself that it wasn’t there. Because, every time she saw him smile, every time he held her hand, every time he expressed himself to her, it banged on her walls like an innocent prisoner demanding freedom.

When she was sure her emotions weren’t superficial, when she was positive there was no changing anything on her end, Kagome had to really look within herself to figure out how to maneuver about things. Did she openly tell him? Was there a right time to say these things? She even debated never saying anything at all, and for a good while, she was settled on that option. It wasn’t the right thing to do, though. It was like she was allowing her past, her previous broken heart, to dictate how she expressed affection toward others, and the potential ‘others’ who hadn’t done her wrong didn’t deserve that. Kagome had always been the type to wear her rather large and vulnerable heart on her sleeve. The cage she held it in now, it wasn’t locked. She wanted to put it back where it belonged, but she was so scared, it made her nauseous. The cage door was opened, held cracked from the inside, the weary organ protecting itself behind a barrier that just needed some encouragement to come out from.

Again, she’d wondered to herself countless times: was there a right moment to say something like this? Was there a procedure she needed to follow? She’d said it first last time, and nothing ended in her favor, so maybe she shouldn’t be the one to initiate this topic? Maybe it applied too much pressure? Should she just keep it to herself behind lock and key? Was he going to be receptive? Was it going to scare him away? Please, don’t scare him away. Please, please don’t leave.

And, countless times, she ended up in tears from the crushing weight of it. Kagome knew the truth. She didn’t have to consult anyone to know what the right thing to do was. It didn’t matter how many nights she stared at the ceiling obsessing over right and wrong, this or that, pros and cons, yes and no’s, because in the back of her mind, the answer was right there in big, bold letters. She was just trying to dance around it. It was so stressful. Something that was depicted as a happy and liberating occurrence was reduced to horrifying and anxiety-inducing for her.

The fact of the matter was, no one should have the power to change her heart. More so, Kagome shouldn’t give anyone that power. The way she felt so deeply was, in fact, a good thing. It was. It was. It was a fight just to get herself to understand that again, feeling like she was convincing herself of something she no longer believed, but she knew the only way she would, once more, feel that freedom was to open up. Stop hiding.

The thought was heavy. It didn’t sit comfortably with her. There were certain things Kagome was okay talking about, and there were certain things Kagome would rather eat up, swallow, and take to the grave. But, that was vulnerability, and she understood that if anyone deserved that part of you, it was your partner. Inuyasha was her partner. He was patient. He listened to her about things that made her uneasy, he took into account how she could be both a social butterfly sometimes and introverted during others, how when she was overwhelmed she had a tendency to shut down, how physical touch was her love language, and he even went so far as to ask her how she would prefer he respond to certain predicaments if she were to ever get overstimulated with him around.

Inuyasha had proved time and time again that he not only wanted to experience every side of her, but that he deserved it. He deserved it.

It jostled her to the core as she considered telling him now, her stomach churning, her heart pounding erratically, her bottom lip quivering as she’d learned to expect rejection. It was why she struggled initiating anything. It was why she had trouble saying the words to anyone but herself, “I want.” It was a learned reaction to her past trauma, but Inuyasha, the half dog demon she called hers, the silver-haired man who always did everything he could to make her feel safe while with him, the person who treated her as special as he’d insisted she was, wasn’t the one who’d hurt her. So, she’d decided over a week ago, she was going to do it. She was going to do it and let him know. Best case scenario, it was always nice to hear you’re loved and he may end up appreciating her confession. Worst case, things were going to get awkward and tense and it may end their relationship for good.

Kagome wanted to be Kagome again. Not the person she was before she’d met her ex. Not exactly, at least. She still wanted the lessons she’d learned with him to be applied to who she was. They were valuable, and not everything she learned had her closing off. As an open-minded thinker, she realized that not every wound left a scar, so not everything that happened made her a victim. Some things are just incidents that taught her lessons to take into tomorrow. So, she wanted to return to Kagome, the bright girl who faced her fears, who wore her precious heart on her sleeve, her loved with everything she had no matter what, but who was just a few experiences wiser. But, no one could do that for her. No one could give her that push she needed. It all came from within.

Of course, so did fear. So did nausea. So did that anxious part of her brain that said, “Let’s do it tomorrow, instead. Or, the day after that.”

Kagome took a deep breath, trembling as it may have been, and looked over to her boyfriend. He’d just removed his shirt from over his head, his short, tousled, silver strands appearing slightly messier than before once he was free, and he glanced over his shoulder her way, most likely feeling her eyes on him.

“Inuyasha,” She tried to come off as stable as possible, but there was an obvious waver in her tone that gave her trepidation away.

“Hm?” He hummed, the corners of his lips twitching downward before he dropped his shirt on the floor and faced her better.

“Can I - um…” It was impossible to hold her eyes steady on him, her deep, brown gaze falling to the floor every time she picked them up to look at him. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay. I’m all yours.”

Kagome took another breath, willing her body to stop fidgeting. It was Inuyasha. It was just Inuyasha. As soon as she realized there was no stilling her fingers beneath the clothes and towel she held, or the way she bit hard into the inside of her bottom lip, she felt the best course of action was to simply carry on; wavering eye contact, trembling fingers, quivering lips, and all.

“Let me first preface this with: please don’t say anything. Just let me get it out there. I don’t expect anything from you in return, there’s no pressure whatsoever, and I would rather you not say anything at all. Like, at all. Okay?”

Truthfully, Inuyasha was freaked out. Had something happened? Was she about to admit to something bad? Kagome looked about ready to breakdown and cry, and the fact that she was asking for him to remain completely silent only told him she was afraid of judgement. Never had she asked him to stay quiet before. And, he hated how apprehensive his girlfriend looked right now. His instinct was to solve the problem, so what was he supposed to do here but agree to her terms?

“What’s going on, Kagome?”

“Please?”

“Alright. I won’t talk. Now, spill.”

She pinched the back of her wrist to stay grounded, to keep from crying. God, she was so pathetically nervous, and three times now, she’d almost convinced herself to back out and pretend it was a joke. That wouldn’t be right, though. She wanted to cry so bad and she hadn’t even said anything yet, so she pinched herself harder, her nails incidentally digging in. As soon as she felt a degree of control fall back into her grasps, Kagome leveled her gaze at him.

The words sat on her tongue, weighted with the shackles she’d placed there herself. A lump had formed and solidified in her throat, clinging for dear life and making everything so much harder than it needed to be. God, she was really shaking. Her breathing was becoming unsteady as if she’d already started crying and she could feel her expression crinkling into something terribly sad. She knew that was how she appeared only from the way Inuyasha’s lips parted, how his brows curved in worry, how he wanted to reach for her but seemed so confused that he could only stand there and wait.

Like a bandaid. Once the words were out, it wouldn’t be so bad anymore. She just had to get through it.

“Um - I - I - I am -“ The stammering was relentless, and out of sheer obstinance, Kagome shied away for one moment, took a short breath, huffed it out, then faced him again. “I’m in love with you.”

There was a slight arch to his brow, and his chin inched to the side minutely. Very slowly, Inuyasha’s lips sealed and his gaze hardened, falling to the ground. Hastily, Kagome followed her confession with disclaimers, irrevocably panicking.

“A-and, I don’t expect you to say it back! You don’t have to say a word about it! There’s no pressure at all, Inuyasha! I swear!” With each statement, he seemed to be growing more and more tense, and Kagome was terrified she was only making matters worse, but she blinked profusely so her tears didn’t have the chance to breach the brim of her lids. “I just wanted you to know. So, yeah. Now you know.” Her voice had fallen to a hitch just above a whisper at that point, admonished.

Inuyasha kept his promise. He didn’t speak. Kagome was stiff in her spot, not quite knowing what move to make next. She hadn’t thought this far ahead. It was hard to think beyond her admittance in the first place. It was too quiet, and she could hear the clock in the living room loudly ticking seconds by.

“Just nod or shake your head; do you still want me to stay?” She asked sheepishly.

Finally, Inuyasha’s glowing stare rose to hers again, and it frighteningly seemed to grow harder, more tense. She saw the rigid muscles of his jaw clench, and his chest rose with the very slow inhale he took through his nose. Steadily, the hanyou responded with a firm nod. In the next moment, he gestured for her to head down the hall to the bathroom with a notch of his chin, which she wasted no time in complying to. Kagome bit her lip, hard, shakily turned on her heel, and left Inuyasha alone in the room.

The second he heard the bathroom door lock and the shower turn on, Inuyasha dropped his seat on the bed, crumbling forward as he braced his forehead in his hands, elbows jabbing into his thighs. His chest was physically aching, his throat tight, and Inuyasha felt thoroughly crushed. He could literally see the fear in her eyes, the anxiety holding her by the neck. Why? Had he given her some reason to worry? Had he made it seem like that was a taboo topic?

It didn’t take long to rationalize. Logically, he knew it wasn’t him. It wasn’t personal. And, he knew that because he knew exactly how it felt to be afraid of unadulterated vulnerability. It felt like you were naked, exposed to the world, trusting someone with something so valuable and important when you weren’t even sure if you could trust yourself with something like that. It was hard. It was nerve wracking.

But, there was something deeper to it.

Why else would she insist he didn’t respond? It was clear as day. He knew that feeling. He’d been hurt before, too. They’d been together for almost half a year, he knew a good portion of her story, and she knew just as much about his. It was impossible to know it all quite yet, though. Five, six months may seem like a long time to some, but it’s honestly nothing in retrospect. They’re just scratching the surface. He knew the general aspects about her abusive father, he knew she had an emo phase in high school, he knew the superficial shit like her favorite colors, foods, drinks, what medications she needed to take and how often, he knew how she tasted, her tickle spots, where the heating pads were stashed in her apartment - because she had multiple for easy accessibility depending on what room she was in while she was down for the count on her period, and he knew she’d had her heart broken before. But, he didn’t know every little detail about certain things yet.

Inuyasha had had his heart broken before, as well. He knew that feeling. He knew how gruesome and tedious it was to start over, how awful the idea of opening up all over again was, how awkward and weary it felt to tiptoe around specific subjects until you felt comfortable enough describing them, so on and so forth. He knew. Just, apparently, not as well as Kagome did. He was willing to guess that her heart wasn’t just broken. It was trampled on.

His most recent relationship was up and down. He and his ex were never on the same page. He fell quickly but his feelings were unrequited. Then, later on, she began to show more affection, but he’d become closed off by the time that came. Nevertheless, neither of them spoke those words. They never truly opened up about what they felt, how they felt, or why they felt anything, especially romantically. Up until now, Inuyasha had never heard the words, “I’m in love with you.”

Up until recently, Inuyasha had never felt the urge to say, “I’m in love with you.”

No.

That’s wrong.

Sure, recent was a broad term, but it happened several months ago. Several months too soon, he’d deemed. Kagome was playing with his niece, teaching the six year-old how to use a toy compass she’d brought home from class, and congratulating her excitedly whenever Rin got something right. His niece wasn’t shy by any means. She was talkative, playful, bubbly, and bright. But, she had this thing about being touched. She didn’t like it. Only certain somebodies could hold her, hugs were off the table unless you were one of four people, high fives were a maybe, and yet he watched the little girl ask Kagome to watch a movie with her when she was done with the compass, cuddle up next to her on the couch, and fall asleep on her lap without persuasion.

That was it. Kagome respected Rin’s autonomy and boundaries, and Rin let her in by the third time they’d met.

And, Inuyasha fell. Hard.

Again, too soon. So, not saying it was easy. No big deal. After a while, it sort of began spilling out in his idiosyncrasies, in the way he touched her, worshipped her, in the way he craved the knowledge on how to properly care for her. In his terms, he was being painfully obvious. It was almost humiliating how obvious he was being.

It just looks like it wasn’t obvious enough. How could he have expected her to understand? It’s not like she was fluent in his body language or habits. At this point, if she needed it spelled out to her, he’d happily do so.

Because, despite her overwhelming and damn near crippling fear she’d just waded through, Kagome still told him the truth. Kagome courageously stood there, attempted to look him in the eyes, and told him she loved him, no matter how scared or nervous she appeared. If he needed to say it back in order for her to understand, he could return the gesture without hesitation.

First, though, he needed to comprehend what was going through that head of hers. He wasn’t going to jump to conclusions. This wasn’t the time to do so. What she was feeling, that look in her eyes, it stemmed from something deep, something that wasn’t quite healed. He needed, desperately needed, to know what happened. He’d promised to keep his mouth shut earlier, but he hadn’t promised how long he’d hold that. She may have meant about that topic entirely, but that was something he couldn’t and wouldn’t agree to. There was no way in hell he was going to let this slide. Eventually, they were going to have to discuss this.

Now was that time.

Inuyasha suddenly stood, filled with a rage that had surfaced as soon as she shakily asked him if he still wanted her to stay, feeling so irate that he could only clench his fists and pace the floor. There was a good fucking chance this originated with her ex. Maybe her father, but his gut told him otherwise. The things he knew about that relationship were vague. Kagome didn’t like to fixate on it, which was reasonable for anyone who’d moved on, and they never really found a good time to open up about nitty gritty details pertaining to failed relationships; they were more focused on one another and their individual lives. He was fuming. What the fuck had that motherfucker done?

He knew they broke up over two years ago. He knew he’d dumped her just before their anniversary. He knew their relationship wasn’t entirely horrible, but much like he and his own ex-girlfriend, they were rarely on the same page. That’s about it, though. He’d heard a thing or two about how she’d realized way after they’d broken up just how toxic their relationship actually was - one of those late night, shower-thought epiphanies - but she never much elaborated. Hell, she talked about it all so rarely, Inuyasha had even forgotten the fucker’s name. He was her ex-boyfriend so that naturally deemed him irrelevant, because Inuyasha was her current boyfriend and that was all that fucking mattered. But, now he wished he remembered because it would make it at least a little easier to track the bitch ass down and punch his lights out.

She’d opened the door, and he needed to know what was on the other side of it. Inuyasha not only craved, but found it a foundational necessity to understand what had her so anxious to tell him how she felt. First, he recognized he needed to calm down. He couldn’t approach this with heightened emotion because it would cause Kagome to feel insecure and unsafe, which he would never allow her to feel around him.

That was hard for him to do, though. To swallow his frustration, push it aside. He felt things passionately, much like Kagome did. For her, for the light he always looked to for a sense of peace and felicity, for the woman he respected and cherished, he would do it. He could do it.

It took a moment, but Inuyasha left his room and headed to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water to sip on and an extra one for his girlfriend. The shower had stopped running moments ago, and the hairdryer was now blowing. She was biding time. Kagome, more often than not, let her hair air dry. This was killing him. The fact that she was so afraid, so nervous, the fact that she felt anything but contentment in the face of pure and unbridled emotion. Inuyasha just wanted to burst through the bathroom door and tell her to stop, demand she look him in the eyes and say it again and watch how he would never turn away from her. What could he have possibly said that had her more content with silence?

Content wasn’t what she’d felt at all though, was it? Even after he’d kept his mouth shut, Kagome was still trembling, still incredibly uncomfortable.

He was going to the bottom of this.

But, something in his heart wrenched. Overall, he just hoped with everything he had that she didn’t regret telling him.

There was careful deliberation on where he should wait for her. He’d debated standing outside the bathroom door to guide her back with him, but that would apply a lot of pressure straight from a safe zone. There was always the option to sit on the couch until she emerged, but still, he was worried she’d feel like she was under a spotlight. No matter what, Inuyasha was going to be taking her back into his bedroom. It was cozy and comfortable, and he just wanted to fucking hold her. The best course of action was to let Kagome come to him. When she was ready. No matter how much patience wasn’t his virtue. So, he ambled back through the doorway with both water bottles in hand, placing them on the nightstand as he got himself into more comfortable clothing. He’d never finished changing after dropping his shirt on the floor. He grabbed his grey sweats off the end of the bed and shoved his legs into them after removing his jeans, then fished a black tank top out of his dresser, easily and quickly pulling it over his head.

It wasn’t a bad thing that she’d told him. Kagome should be proud of herself. Over and over again, she’d repeated that in her head, but she couldn’t stop herself from feeling like she’d done something wrong. Maybe she’d put him on the spot and made him uncomfortable. She should have at least given him the space to tell her he wasn’t ready to say it back if that was how he felt. That she would have completely and wholeheartedly understood without fault.

Now she was stuck in an unknown area, her head was foggy, her fingers kept trembling, and her eyes were puffy from crying like a baby in the shower. The goal was to tell him how she felt. It was a step in the right direction. A step toward who she truly was behind the protective walls. From this point on, depending on how Inuyasha was feeling, it might be best to pretend nothing happened. Sweep it under the rug.

Everything was so conflicting, so turbulent, and Kagome could bring herself to do nothing but stare at the bathroom doorknob. Her hair was dry, she was dressed in her borrowed outfit, smelling purely of Inuyasha, and even though he still wanted her to stay, she couldn’t believe anything other than the possibility that she’d ruined everything.

What would happen once she exited the bathroom? Would things be uncomfortable? Would he be laying down in bed, facing the wall away from her, silent? Would he ignore her? Would he say something she was terrified to hear right now? Or, was she trapped in her unhealthy thoughts? Was she preparing a response to something that wasn’t waiting for her outside that door? Was she not giving Inuyasha the opportunity to respond in his own, organic way, expecting all the responses she was trained to anticipate before?

With a deep breath, Kagome reached for the knob, twisting it to exit. The apartment was as quiet as it was when she locked herself inside, the clock in the living room ticking loudly as she slowly sauntered through. Lights were dim, but the bedroom, through the opened door, was inhabited. The lamps shaded the white walls in warm hues, and as she got closer she noticed a very soft hum of music playing through the bluetooth speakers he had set up in there, quiet but still melodic and comforting.

Though her heart was pounding and a jittery sensation within her chest was causing her to tread cautiously, she followed the path into his bedroom, spotting Inuyasha sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. He was quick to notice her presence, sitting up and glancing at her, and even though she faked a smile with a curious notch of her head, it was clear he saw right through her. How wouldn’t he? If he already didn’t know her so well, it was obvious she wouldn’t go from cripplingly apprehensive before her shower to sweet and happy immediately after.

Inuyasha noticed the pink in her cheeks, the stupidly cute but feigned upturn of her plush lips, the way her deep eyes bounced away from him before coming right back only to repeat the same motions. His Kagome. His sweet, hurting, beautiful Kagome.

With an arch of his brow, the hanyou wagged his finger at her, ushering her over to sit on his lap. She was hesitant at first. She knew what was coming, but still, despite her slight discomfort, he released a small, breathy chuckle so she knew he wasn’t upset with her.

“C’mere.” He requested softly, patting his thighs.

“What?” Kagome returned, unsure.

“I want you. C’mere.”

Slowly, she crossed the floor, accepting her boyfriend’s support as she straddled his lap and got comfortable. An uncontrollable pout formed on her face when he looked into her eyes, she felt it, and humiliation washed over her, causing her to hide her expression between his shoulder and neck.

Inuyasha was patient, making sure she was secure in her seat before his hands traveled over her. At first, he couldn’t help but hug her tight. In this moment, Kagome seemed so fragile and he could already feel her body shaking against him. She knew he was going to talk whether she liked it or not.

Still, he gave her a little more time, relaxing against him, her chest melting on his, her arms wrapped around his shoulders but accepting his full support as his hands rubbed over her back soothingly.

“You want to tell me what happened back there?” He asked, opening back up the topic.

“Did I do it wrong?” Kagome spoke, her voice small.

“I’m not worried about right and wrong here, baby. Can you look at me for a second?”

Carefully, Kagome leaned back, giving him the attention he requested. His large, warm hands cradled her jaw, his thumbs caressing her cheeks, his eye contact firm.

“I never want you to be afraid to tell me something, okay? Especially, how you feel.”

Immediately, Kagome began to crumble. Her cheeks grew hot and her lips twitched downward sadly. Tears too quickly threatened her eyes, and Kagome was hasty to hide her face in his shoulder again.

“I need you to talk to me, Kagome. What’s going on?” He asked, returning to rubbing her back. In the silence as he waited, he picked up the back hem of the large shirt she wore, pushing his hands beneath so he could gently massage her skin. The heat from her, the softness, he craved it right now. “Was it something I did?”

Kagome fervently shook her head against him.

“I’m never going to understand unless you tell me, baby. That wasn’t the normal amount of nervousness you’d expect when saying something like that. So, what’s going on?”

“I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to say it back if you weren’t ready.” Kagome sniffled, hugging him tighter.

“Okay, I get that. And, what else?”

“That’s all.”

“You can’t lie to me.”

“Can we just pretend nothing happened and go back to our happy date night?” She whined playfully.

“Unfortunately, no.” Inuyasha chuckled, catching her small attempt at laughing off her problems. “I can’t do that while you’re crying on me, Kagome.”

“I’m not crying.” She sniffled again.

“Oh? You’re not?”

“Nope. These are just allergies.”

“And, what are you suddenly allergic to?”

“Feelings.” Kagome giggled, though she began crying harder, only because her boyfriend was being sweet and obviously getting through to her. She both hated and loved it at the same time.

Inuyasha kissed her shoulder, holding her a little tighter as his hand slipped higher up her bare back. The curve from her little slouch against him had her spine popping out slightly, and ever so softly, Inuyasha traced his fingers over the bones.

“What were you so afraid of me saying?” He all but whispered.

Mustering up some courage, Kagome leaned back, using one hand to meagerly clear her messy face of tears. She took a few unsteady breaths before speaking, her eyes falling to the hem of the collar of his black top, and she allowed her fingers to distractingly drag along it.

“I didn’t want you to tell me you loved me if you weren’t ready or felt pressured, because I don’t want you to take it back later on.”

The hanyou’s brows furrowed inquisitively and he was unable to bite back the reaction of his head cocking to the side in bemusement.

“What?” He almost hissed. “Why would I do that?”

Kagome didn’t answer, continuing to play with the shirt he wore.

“Kagome, why are you afraid of that happening? Don’t tell me -“ Inuyasha had to tense his breath in his lungs to refrain from letting his upset get the better of him. “Did your ex…?”

She responded with the littlest nod, worrying her bottom lip incessantly. “Multiple times.”

“Multiple times?” He echoed on an exhale, his expression widening. His hands were holding her hips, squeezing as comfortingly as possible, but Inuyasha was struck cold. Not only had someone shattered her, but someone managed to look at this woman on top of him and take back their love on more than one occasion? This girl? How? He’d only had her for half a year and he was scared shitless of losing her, so it didn’t make any fucking sense that someone would just toss her aside like that as if she meant nothing.

Slowly, Kagome curled forward, tucking herself against his shoulder. It was like a safety net. Inuyasha was so warm, he held her perfectly every time she felt emotional and vulnerable. As much as she didn’t want to talk about this, she knew this topic would come up eventually. It was a staple of her by now, something she was clearly conditioned to expect after years of receiving it, and even before she fell in love with the man stroking her back beneath her shirt, she knew this issue would arise. It wasn’t going to be easy or quick to work through, that was a given, and she knew he was ultimately going to need to know some of the toxic occurrences of her previous relationship; things that were done to her and things she’d done, as well. She’d considered it was going to be something he’d want clarity on as soon as she admitted her feelings. It was fair. Being on the other end of things, he deserved to know what she’d been through and why she inadvertently responded the way she had.

It was just hard. It was hard to think about and hard to talk about.

But, if she could power through her fear of admitting her feelings, then she could give him everything else, too. It was another step in the right direction, no matter how unsteady the pathway seemed.

“I told him I loved him first, and he responded by telling me I shouldn’t. He was my first love, so I didn’t really know how to react or what to say to that. It’s not like I could just take it back or agree or something.”

“Right.” Inuyasha almost hummed, listening intently to her explanation as he kissed her shoulder here and there.

“Almost a year later, he told me he was falling in love with me. A few months after that, he took it back and said he wasn’t so sure anymore since we’d been arguing.”

The half demon couldn’t control his reaction to hold Kagome a little tighter. It was like an attempt to protect her from things he knew he couldn’t begin to protect her from. If he could control it, no one would ever speak to her like that. No one would ever hurt her this way. No one would ever be able to apply that pressure to her shoulders, because how could she not feel obligated to be perfect and compliant in order to feel valued and cherished?

“Then, I don’t know how long later, he told me he loved me again. It stayed consistent for a while. He’d tell me periodically, particularly when I did nice things for him or if I said it first. Then, again, he ended up taking it back. I had felt it that time and asked him if he still loved me. He said, ‘I don’t know.’ Followed by,” Kagome’s fingers clutched Inuyasha’s shirt, exhaling tremblingly, though she had been doing so well at keeping it together. “‘Maybe soon I’ll love you again, though.’ So, I idiotically stayed. I held onto that hope. I waited and waited until we got into this stupid fight and he broke up with me the next day. He made sure to emphasize that he didn’t love me. But, said he might in the future, we’d just need to stay friends. ‘You never know what the future stores.’”

God, Inuyasha wanted to kill him.

“There was one night after we finally found separate places, we were packing, getting ready to move out of our shared apartment, and we were talking about old things. He told me he never loved me. And, I just never understood why things went on for so long just because he wasn’t sure. Why would you say it if you didn’t? Why couldn’t he have let me go sooner? What good was I if he didn’t even want me there? I wasn’t strong enough to leave, but he was because he literally hung that over my head for most of the time we were together, threatening me with leaving if I didn’t do something right. I have so many things to work through because of him, so many trauma responses to correct, trust issues that I’m projecting unto you, and he walked away like nothing ever happened.” Kagome cried, once again shaking against Inuyasha.

All he could do was kiss her, hush her soothingly, hold her tight, rub the hot flesh of her back. Let her cry. He understood now. He got it. It was why she struggled to take compliments the first time around. It was why she second-guessed sweet gestures. It was why she assumed everything was sarcastic and insincere. It was why she thought her love for him was problematic. She didn’t want him to say anything because she was scared of the words, “I love you.” They meant nothing to some people, they were used as tools, and so easily, they could be erased. Sad thing was, Inuyasha was sure that even if he said the words right here and now, she wouldn’t even believe him.

“Of course, he’s obviously not the sole reason for why I am the way that I am. Can’t give him credit for everything.” Kagome gave a wet giggle, again laughing through her problems. Her coping mechanisms were all over the place, but it was still cute.

Inuyasha sighed defeatedly, laughing lightly as he rested his head on her shoulder.

“So,” He breathed. “You didn’t want me to say anything because you figured nothing was better than something I could hurt you with.”

Her silence was as good as confirmation.

Inuyasha pulled her in firmer, an arm supporting her low back as he picked her up, rotated their bodies, crawled a little further on the bed, and laid her beneath him on the mattress. He had a knee between her legs, but rested on her side, an elbow propping him up while he used his free hand to gently swipe her tears away.

“It was more because I didn’t want you to feel pressured.” Kagome finally spoke after moments of peaceful silence, taking the opportunity he provided to calm down before continuing. “But, then I started to panic. I felt like this is supposed to be a good thing, right? Not everyone is going to respond the way he does, right? I just wanted to tell you so bad. It’s supposed to be a good thing, but I got trapped in my head thinking history would only repeat itself.”

“Baby, are you sure you were ready to tell me?” Inuyasha inquired, dragging his finger along her temple to clean the tears that followed gravity.

She nodded, her bottom lip quivering. “It’s bad enough that I’m afraid of love. I didn’t want to allow myself to sink and be afraid to love, too. That’s not me. I feel like I’d only be letting him stick around in my mind if I did that, but I just want to love you. I do.” Kagome cried, eyes falling away from him. “I wanted you to know, and I’ve been holding onto it long enough.”

Inuyasha leaned his head down, kissing her shoulder. It wasn’t enough for him. He needed to feel her skin beneath his lips so he pulled the baggy collar away so he could leave a tender and invisible mark on her clavicle.

“How long?” The hanyou breathed.

“A month or so.” She matched his soft tone, trying to steady her lungs and bring herself back to a calm. “The night you went on your business trip.”

“Europe?”

“Mhm.”

“Not too bad. It was the groggy voice, huh?”

Though her eyes were still wet and the hair at the sides of her temples were soaked, her cheeks flushed, Kagome glanced back over to him with a hint of surprise. “How’d you know?”

“Because, I knew I’d get a response from you. Always do.” He smirked, planting sweet kisses against her cheek, and moving up to kiss tears away.

“You know I like that?”

“It’s my job to read you like a book, baby. I take my work very seriously. You’re subtle, but I see things I do that you like. You’ve got little mannerisms that give you away.”

“Like what?”

He hummed a decline. “I’m not giving that secret to you. Let me have this. You know what I will tell you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you promise to hear me out? No interrupting, okay? Just listen to me.”

There was an increase in the tension that climbed through her muscles, and her pout turned weary. Inuyasha took a moment to continue kissing her temple, her cheekbone, his palm finding its way beneath her shirt to softly stroke her tummy. When she relaxed a little, he leaned back to look at her.

“Remember that day Rin took a nap with you? I stayed up that night. Couldn’t sleep. I had you here next to me, and I just couldn’t stop listening to the sound of your breathing. I was scared shitless, but the crazy fucking part was, even though you weren’t awake, having you right here helped keep me calm. It was counterintuitive. I was both scared of you and at peace with you. I wanted you to wake up and do that thing where you tickle the small of my back with your fingers because, god, nothing feels better than that. It was like you held all of me in the palm of your hands, and you could easily drop it in the trash at any given moment. But, it’s you. I knew you wouldn’t. That was my night, though. That was the moment I realized I was in love with you.”

Kagome hardened slightly, and he could literally hear how hard her heart was thumping within her chest. She didn’t smile, didn’t frown, didn’t make much of any expression really, aside from her brows giving a minor, inward twitch.

“That was quite a few months ago. Nothing’s changed. If anything, it’s gotten deeper. I’m so worried one day you’ll walk out those doors and never come back. I don’t want to lose you just as badly as you don’t want to lose me.” He was the one to hide his face this time, tucking it within her neck as he threaded his arms around her back, holding her close. He hadn’t expected her to clutch him in return, but she did. Immediately. Kagome supported him through his own moment of vulnerability, but more importantly, he felt it was a way to communicate her reception. “I don’t care how many times I have to say it until you begin to believe me. I don’t care what I have to do to make you feel secure in our relationship. I’ll do it all. You know I don’t say shit unless I mean it.”

“I believe you.” Kagome whispered, a small hiccup at the tale end that jostled her chest. “That’s the scary part.”

He nodded again, pulling away to gently press his forehead to hers for a moment.

“I get it.” Inuyasha breathed before leaning back to look her in the eyes. “But, one of these days you’ll understand that no matter what happens, I won’t take a damn thing back. You’ll see that I don’t want it back. I feel like my heart’s safer with you, anyway.”

“Stop it.” She pouted, but he knew that was her way of conceding. Even as she cried a little harder and tucked herself into his chest so he couldn’t see it. “You’re being too sweet. Be mean to me again.”

Inuyasha chuckled, raising his hand, “As you wish.” He said, smacking it down against her butt.

The little yelp she released was so sad but adorable as she flinched away from the sting, but it inadvertently brought her to cuddle closer to him. The hanyou laughed, brushing his fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp.

“Can you do something for me?” He asked.

“Hm?” She grumbled into his chest.

“Tell me again. This time look right at me. Don’t look away, don’t fidget, just trust me. That was my first time hearing it. I gotta hear it straight.”

She hadn’t realized Inuyasha hadn’t heard the words before. She didn’t know that. This was big for him too, if not bigger. Was she his first love? Was she the first person he’d ever said that to? Kagome felt a warmth course through her, and even though she was slightly nervous, she didn’t feel unsteady. Not while he held her. Not while his amber eyes were above her, watching her with an emotion she’d never before seen. She came out of hiding with a level of ease she hadn’t felt a moment ago, secure, one of his hands lightly trailing her side beneath her borrowed shirt.

Her fingers had a mind of their own, reaching for his cheek as she softly caressed it, her thumb tenderly rubbing over his bottom lip. “I love you, Inuyasha.”

It was like a sigh of relief left his lungs, and the corners of his mouth inched upward. His eyes were hooded with affection, and he leaned down to kiss her, lingering on her soft lips.

“Your turn.” Kagome whispered as he pulled away, her brown eyes shifting from his eyes to his lips.

It felt incredible that she wanted to hear it now. And, though he knew everything was going to take time until she felt comfortable with the idea that he wouldn’t take a damn thing back, he knew it would take time to work through her trust issues little-by-little, he didn’t mind. Because, she was his and he was hers, and he was all too happy to hold her hand and walk by her side while they figured everything out. He couldn’t fix this for her. He hated that he couldn’t take her pain away. That’s not how it worked, though. He knew this. She knew this. Inuyasha was her partner through everything, and he’d be the best fucking partner he could be.

He grinned with their foreheads pressed together, his hand on her waist gripping tighter as he couldn’t help but chuckle from sheer bliss. “God, I’m so fucking in love with you.”

Kagome smiled, pushing Inuyasha over to roll on top, once more straddling his hips as she gazed down at him. She wanted to burn this image of him in her mind. She never wanted to forget that soft look in his eyes, or the way he reached up and tenderly wiped away any remaining tears that stained her face. He meant it. She believed him. And, she hoped with everything inside of her that he never took it away from her.

She curled down, cuddling into her chest and Inuyasha immediately turned his head to kiss her forehead. He held her close, gently stroking her hair back and basking in her incredibly comforting heat. He loved her. He loved her so goddamn much. His Kagome.

“What do you need right now, baby?”

“Nothing.” She hummed.

“What do you want, then.”

He knew she struggled with that one, but whenever he asked, she did her best to communicate properly. “Touch my butt again.”

Inuyasha laughed huskily, his hands gliding down her back to take a firm and wonderful hold on her ass.

“And, pizza.”

“Oh, see, I’m a step ahead of you on that one. Ordered a couple before you got out of the shower.”

Kagome gave a short half whine - half squeal of happiness as she cuddled in closer and kissed his neck. “Thank you.”

[cavity-core]

Satisfying Salad

Chapter Three

I post a lot of different stuff that is totally consumable for minors, but this space is not intended for minors, so if you fall in that category, please navigate it responsibly and respectfully... on that note.. keep scrolling to the next post kids. ^ ^

Despite the tag, this is not Kaebedo, I’m shipping Kaeya with the Fellflower because I’m an absolute psychopath... I call it crack but it’s my otp idk what’s wrong with me, cryo sugoi.

It is still updating but you can read the full fic here.

This is almost the same as the last chapter but from Taru’s perspective… yet even spicier. 🤔 Officially explicit, I say.

CW: this chapter has elements of mild dub con due to alcohol consumption

Everything seemed like it had been going well as “Albedo” exited the Knights of Favonius building and followed Kaeya along the streets of hard stone, no good for burrowing, to where he assumed would be Angel’s Share. It was important that he still kept his wits about him in case this was a trap. That paranoia probably added to the way he tensed at every little bit of contact Kaeya initiated. That, and the fact that a human touching him was making all of his instincts scream in staunch objection. Being this physically close to a human felt innately wrong, and dangerous.

The two of them made it to the tavern thankfully without incident. The new position Kaeya’s arm had assumed around his waist actually felt much less stressful.. perhaps because it wasn’t as stifling as having the weight of the man’s arm on him. It turned out to also make it easier for Kaeya to urge him forward though, as he was pushed through the doors into the noisy building full of loud voices he could already hear from outside.

Behind the bar stood a man with the brightest red hair he’d ever seen and skin so pale that Subject Three almost felt the need to retract his earlier observation, that the other humans in Mondstat donned complexions resembling fallen snow, as none came close to this fairness. Something about this man, however, made his skin prickle. There was something about him that felt very dangerous to Subject Three. Maybe it was the pyro vision hanging from his belt, out of sight behind the counter… or maybe it was something else.

The man at the bar held him with the same unyielding glare until Kaeya had dragged “Albedo” all the way up the stairs and out of sight on the second floor. This area was quite full of patrons as well, the large number of humans in the room putting him even more on edge.

Kaeya picked a table near the wall, more out of the way, and slid onto the bench. After observing the way he got in and feeling confident he could replicate it just as smoothly, he followed suit, sliding in beside Kaeya just as the knight had done. Very natural looking if he did say so himself.

Even if the other numerous humans in the room made him nervous, it was actually very fortunate that he had so many subjects to study and mimic for this outing. They all had mugs or glasses they were drinking from frequently between chatting and shouting. He had never seen Subject One shout much before though so he was pretty sure he didn’t need to participate in that part, but he also didn’t have a cup to drink from… that wasn’t any help.

Kaeya also mentioned his disappointment on how packed the venue was, though “Albedo” thought that was the whole reason he wanted to come.

Noticing he’d been paying too much attention to the other humans in the room rather than the one he was supposed to be blending in with, he began working on assuming a similar position at the table. Neither of them had a drink the way the other humans did after all.

While he was distracted keeping up appearances with Kaeya, someone else came up the stairs, making him snap to attention in the direction of the movement that he caught in his peripheral. It turned out to just be a man here to remedy both their lack of beverage. This would make mimicking the other patrons exponentially easier, what a relief.

The man left soon after placing their respective glasses down before them, taking a few things from some other packed tables and disappearing back downstairs. “Albedo” was relieved the scary red haired man hadn’t come up instead. He looked back to Kaeya, watching as he took a sip of his beverage before doing the same— and realising it tasted terrible.

He made a face, recoiling a bit from the glass as he set it heavily back on the table causing Kaeya to chuckle at his exaggerated reaction.. Ah, he needed to put up with it. No one else was behaving that way so he needed to suppress his reaction to the terrible way it tasted and the strange way it felt.

Kaeya was right back to questioning him once they were settled in with their drinks, and once again Kaeya’s hand was wandering over “Albedo’s” back and side while he tried to avoid answering too much too specifically by busying himself with his drink. It was getting easier to deal with the taste at least.

He was starting to notice though that the drink was also making him feel a bit dizzy, it was getting harder to hold his train of thought as he desperately tried to remember what Albedo had been doing on Dragonspine in order to justify his own story. On top of that, Kaeya’s hand feeling over him wasn’t making him as tense as before, yet it was somehow more distracting.

Whether it was the strange drink he had or the hand caressing his stomach and waist, his body had begun to feel strange. “Albedo” had dropped one hand down to grasp Kaeya’s under the table… yet he couldn’t bring himself to push it away for some reason. He’d have been more concerned this was a trap if the other humans around him weren’t slumped over or swaying as though they too were feeling the effects of the drink… Kaeya however seemed perfectly fine.

Clearly his senses were dulled and his wits were not exactly about him anymore because apparently the plain man from the alchemy bench had suddenly appeared as well and invited himself to sit with the two. He was already going on about something else ridiculous but it was too difficult to keep track of what he was saying.

Luckily Kaeya took it upon himself to handle the conversation while “Albedo” attempted to deal with the way his head was swimming and his body was getting hotter under the knight’s motions. He couldn’t even bring himself to do anything as Kaeya pulled him closer, only slumping against him a little, though not intentionally.

The plain man was still rambling but Kaeya had slipped his hand lower to “Albedo’s” thigh. The sensation here was different, it made his breath hitch and his cheeks flush… his stomach felt hot and so did his crotch. He knew everything that his corolla protected which was normally on top of his head had essentially been moved.. there… where Kaeya’s hand nearly was.

Suddenly Kaeya thrust him back into the conversation but unfortunately he’d been paying more attention to the feeling of Kaeya’s hand exploring him than whatever the two men at the table had been chatting about during this time. Even while he tried to get his bearings in the discussion, the hand on his leg didn’t let up in its ministrations, continuing to caress over his shorts that a part of him wished, more so than ever, weren’t even there.

It happened quickly. Kaeya’s hand slipped a little too high, brushing the slight tent in his pants with a knuckle ever so lightly, yet the sensation that brief contact sent through him made Subject Three jolt. Although he’d suppressed it well, he’d slipped up.

Kaeya noticed it first, drawing his attention down to the glass of now frozen liquid. Panicked, he’d snatched his hand back with a gasp. Albedo had a geo vision, he had no command over the cryo element, but here was Subject Three blowing his own cover by using cryo right in front of two humans who were close to Albedo! What a ridiculous blunder! How would he explain himself to his master for a slip up like this? Would he even live to explain himself?

He remained tense and still as he waited for their reaction. Could he fight them off? Could he get away? Did he stand a chance against this many humans? Even with the dragon blood his master had given him to make him stronger, he wasn’t sure he could do it… but… Kaeya... To his surprise, Kaeya said nothing. He even went ahead to claim he was the one who froze the drink instead.

Subject Three was still trying to wrap his foggy brain around what was going on as he offered the best input he could come up with. After all, who needed to wastefully take more fruit than they could eat anyway? Humans were truly a plague upon the land…

Apparently shooting him down didn’t work because the plain looking man was rambling again and Kaeya’s hand had resumed where it left off. Although that scare had frozen him like he’d been pushed into the icy lakes of Dragonspine, his body reacted easily to Kaeya again… perhaps it was because the other had just saved him from suspicion despite knowing he’d slipped up, or because the cryo energy made him feel comfortable.. and because Kaeya.. he felt good.. and smelled good… and “Albedo” just wanted that feeling again.

He grasped Kaeya’s hand more firmly now and pushed it towards the heat growing between his legs. His hand was in the wrong spot, it wasn’t where he knew he needed it. To his immense relief Kaeya obliged him, shifting closer and coaxing his legs apart to which Subject Three eagerly obeyed. How had his mind so quickly abandoned the focus of his discreet mission and fixated entirely on this foreign pleasure?

Kaeya’s hand was finally finding its way closer to where he wanted it, making his breaths come a little shorter as the heat pooled more noticeably in his lower body. He couldn’t hold back a whimper against Kaeya’s meaningful movements, luckily hidden under the timber of Kaeya’s voice as he finally talked their unwanted company into leaving.

They were finally alone —at the table at least— and Kaeya leaned down to him, letting “Albedo” relax into his chest, his breathing now noticeably heavier. Kaeya had said something against the top of his head but he’d either been too distracted or the tavern had been too loud to make out what it was. All of a sudden Kaeya stopped, pulled his hand back, flipped “Albedo’s” hood up over his head, and scooped the dazed whopper off his feet. Before he knew what was going on he’d been carried down the stairs and out the door into the cool night air.

“Ah— Kaeya..?” His voice came out more hoarse than he meant for but Kaeya hushed him.

“Shh, your disguise is already slipping little whopper, or did you think I wouldn’t notice?~” he taunted softly, making “Albedo” tense against him. Kaeya only chuckled at his reaction, never breaking stride as he carried him. “I suggest you keep quiet; after all, you’ll never make it out of the city alive now, not without my help.”

Was… that true? He was having a hard time reasoning through this situation… When would his master come to take his place? When could he leave the city and stop wearing stupid human clothes and stupid human shoes? His brain felt so slow, it was foggy with the intoxication of the alcohol as well as… as… did Kaeya smell this good when they first met..? Maybe it was their similar elements causing this instinctual attraction, as an elemental being himself.

He wanted to answer… or ask how that could be true.. everyone was sleeping or drinking.. wasn’t that just a bluff? But his mind was still lost in the smell and feel of Kaeya against him. Without his roots, he had no way to expel the toxins of the alcohol from his body… who knew how long it would have to last for then? The most he could muster was a whimper through his warm, damp breaths against Kaeya’s neck.

~*~*~*~

Kaeya’s pace was steady but brisk as he carried the mostly disguised WhopperFlower through the nearly empty streets, into the building, up the stairs and to the door of his apartment. Wondering all the while what the hell he was thinking. Still… he didn’t have all his information so.. he couldn’t stop yet, is what he told himself as unlocked his door and pushed his way inside. He finally detached the whopper from his neck and set it on the ground, grabbing the front of its coat and pressing it back against the door with his forearm.

“Now.. tell me again; where is the Traveller and the real Albedo?” He asked lowly, leaning in close to the mimic’s face.

Again it whimpered.. in that voice, Albedo’s voice, the one that went straight to his dick. “‘Don’t.. know..” it gasped out, clutching at his arm.

“Don’t think playing dumb will get you out of this.” Kaeya hissed.

The imposter shook its head. “He… didn’t tell me… they… they were in Dragonspine… when I left.. I don’t know what else happened…” he panted out, still looking half lidded up at Kaeya with a gaze that seemed to hold more lust than fear. He had also noticed a sweet smell coming from the whopper that had been growing stronger as the evening progressed, something he could only assume must have been some kind of pheromone… one he was worried might actually be working.

Clearly it knew more than what it was telling him, there was some very obviously omitted information in that statement after all. “And who is he?” Kaeya pressed.

The whopper shook its head firmly, though Kaeya could feel it’s heavy breathing and quick heartbeat against his arm that was braced on its chest. Still… it didn’t seem all that swayed by his threatening approach but there was always.. that. It certainly wasn’t as if he’d never done anything like it before, but he still had some moral reservations about bribing a plant with his body.

It was technically still pretty human shaped at the moment, he noted looking it over, taking in the whopper’s flushed face, heaving chest and obvious tent.. all on what resembled Albedo’s body; and technically it was a little different than just picking up any old WhopperFlower from the ground, seeing as this one was clearly sentient enough to have some awareness of its situation and what it was doing, Kaeya reasoned with himself.

After a few moments of struggling with the morality of his predicament, long enough that the whopper was hazily looking up at him again, he figured it was probably worth a shot. “Fine,” he said, dragging the monster from the closed door still by its coat and down the hall to his room where he shoved it back towards the bed.

The whopper stumbled, still affected by the alcohol no doubt, and fell back onto the duvet as its legs hit the edge of the mattress. “Now, I’m going to ask you again,” Kaeya purred, approaching the bed and leaning over the impostor, propped up on his forearm that was braced against the mattress just above the whopper’s head. “Tell me what you know.. and if you do a good job, I might just give you something nice.~” He slid his hand down its stomach to the bulge in its shorts, feeling it twitch against his palm as he cupped it lightly.

Even that small motion earned him a needy whimper and hands coming down to grab desperately at his wrist, trying to force him to move his hand.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Kaeya scolded, lifting his hand away to clasp the whopper’s wrists, holding them above its head despite the way it struggled. “This is an exchange, that means you give me the information I want, and in return… I’ll give you exactly what you want.~ All you need to tell me is e~verything you know about this Dragonspine situation.” Kaeya spoke softly, so close his lips brushed its ear.

“Mmh..” It was quiet for moment, if it’s ragged breaths could be considered as such, making Kaeya lift his head away when it struggled again. There wasn’t much fight behind its movements though, gaze flicking up to scan his face as it settled again, chest still quickly rising and falling. “My… my master… is in Dragonspine with Albedo and… the Traveller,” it finally panted out. Kaeya pressed its wrists into his other hand so he could slip his now free hand back down to the twitching outline in the other’s shorts, encouraging it to continue.

“Go on~” he prompted with a soft squeeze.

“He… he sent me here be.. because I was… he said I was.. causing trouble. I… I would get in the way..” it gasped, hips rising to meet Kaeya’s palm. “Making a mess.. a-and taking a small.. human was… too conspicuous.. he said. I… should be more.. s-sedated… fixed me… so I could.. go to.. the city… stay in the office..”

A small—? No, that wasn’t important right now and this wasn’t the info he was looking for. “And what of the Traveller and Albedo,” Kaeya prompted it again.

“My master… was going to.. to take my place h- ah.. here in the city… when he f-finished with.. them.” It shook its head. “‘Don’t.. know anything else,” it finished with.. a rather pitiful look up at Kaeya.

So there was something in Dragonspine that was after Albedo and the Traveller. On one hand, that was certainly concerning… but on the other hand, not only was the Adventurers’ Guild currently in Dragonspine with most if not all of its senior members, but those two were a pair Kaeya had the utmost confidence could easily handle themselves in virtually any situation. Frankly, he didn’t think this thing’s master stood much of a chance against one of those two, let alone both.

The whopper drew his attention back when it squirmed again in his grip, making him reflexively tighten his hold on it. Though… he already knew what he needed to know, it had been gullible enough to simply tell him everything up front, so realistically he could just throw it out of the city now and be finished with it.

Still… How much did he really have to lose by indulging it? The whopper might actually leave quietly if he upheld his side, since it so readily believed him when he offered the deal in the first place.

“I see… then I suppose it’s my turn now.~” he murmured, pushing himself back up and releasing the whopper’s wrists so he could grab it under the arms and hoist it fully onto the bed, sitting it upright despite the way it slumped. “First, let’s get some of this out of the way.~”

Kaeya was actually surprised by how eagerly compliant the whopper was to help in discarding its clothes, although rather clumsily and not actually all that helpfully. At first he wasn’t sure if the clothes were a part of its disguise, but it seemed they were the real thing and it was merely dressed in them… how odd. Perhaps it was only capable of imitating organic matter.

As the coat and shirt came off, Kaeya was able to pick out a few other spots of discolouration on the skin where its disguise was still slipping, along with the symbol on its forehead growing more pronounced and a pink hue seeping into the colour of its eyes. Next came off the boots, shorts and what he’d always assumed were long, thermal pants, until the impostor’s... dick? Could spring free…

Kaeya could only blink down at the appendage that greeted him beneath all those garnets. He.. wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A penis probably, but he knew what he was bedding wasn’t human so perhaps he should’ve expected this. Whatever was standing to attention between the whopper’s legs didn’t exactly not resemble a dick, but it also reminded Kaeya distinctly of the pistil on a flower. The shape of the head was more like a stigma… and the texture of the shaft… It was intriguing, but he thought better of putting it near anything other than his gloved hand until he understood its anatomy a little better.

“Now… let’s fix this, shall we?” Kaeya crooned, seating himself back on the mattress and taking a firm hold of the whopper’s half human anatomy.

[kitkatixx]

kirukiyo headcanons (long ish)

If you haven’t noticed-- these two are my otp, and v3 did them both dirty... both in terms of plot and their few interactions (hi, utdp, i’m surprised they didn’t have an event with direct interaction)

I haven’t done these formally but figured I’d drop a few of my headcanons as of now, since the ideas I have for these two are fluid, but the base nature of their relationship remains about the same. You’ll see below the cut, they’re fairly in depth and give some flavor to the characters (especially Kirumi) 

general summary 

Subtle, subtle, subtle. 

These two are experts at keeping their relationship under the table, and it takes the rest of the class--perceptive ones included-- quite a bit of time to figure out they’ve been together, even though many a student (Kokichi, Miu, Rantaro, Kaede) have made jokes about their likeness to a married couple. 

While they are more than capable of adapting to the scenario, both of them are private individuals at heart, in spite how their talents require them to be around people nearly at all times. So for Kirumi especially, she prefers someone mature who can respect her desire to keep the limelight out of her personal life. After all, she prefers to keep her home and (incredibly taxing, chaotic) work life separate... 

That being said, it is no secret to Class 79 (what I’ve dubbed the v3 cast in my HPA AU) and the upperclassmen (SDR2, DR3, THH) that the Ultimate Maid is a stubborn workaholic.

Thus, it takes a specific type of person to ‘get through’ to her-- specifically requesting her presence at refreshments, politely stopping her in the hallway for a conversation, all as cleverly disguised ‘breaks’ without infringing upon her time and duties. Even if it’s only momentary, small steps, persistence, and patience are key with her, as there is a fine line between obligation and devotion to one’s craft. 

Korekiyo happens to be able to see past the professional ‘selflessly devoted’ front that Kirumi maintains nearly at all times, having had the opportunity to observe numerous types of people in his time as an anthropologist, and given what was seen in canon, it’s fairly evident that he was intrigued, speaking highly of her post trial (he even has a FTE in her lab!) 

Initially, her insistence on wholeheartedly embodying the values of a proper maid piqued his attention, leading to him to take an interest in getting to know her more-- what makes Miss Tojo who she is, exactly? What motivates her to behave in such a way? And what of the human side of the Ultimate Maid? Such were the questions he wished to answer, and as any good researcher would do, it was necessary to approach this in a straightforward, concise manner.

Because of this unorthodox approach to getting to know her (indirectly) for a scholarly reason, Kirumi had no reason to decline his invitations to converse or shoo him away from observing her everyday duties as she would have done under normal circumstances. This in particular gave Korekiyo an advantage over many of his other peers, who would have had difficulty a) approaching her b) maintaining a sizeable conversation with her before moving onto her next task. 

Eventually, the two would find they share similar interests (Victorian customs, tea preparation, etc), and get along well with each other; the meetings that began as strictly for research evolve into moments where two friends are talking. 

Down the line, someone catches feels. 

Now as for who that could be... let’s move to the next section to answer that.

a few typical who does/is relationship headcanons:

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Korekiyo does. While Kirumi eventually does develop feelings for him first, she won’t act on them out of concern that the quality of her work will be compromised, and stays quiet. Korekiyo, however, takes a little longer after mulling over whether his emotions can be chalked up to his general adoration for all of humanity or genuine feelings for her. He does pick up on small changes in her behavior and routine-- serving his preferred meals and tea at just the right temperature, being especially open to assisting him even when she’s terribly busy, and so on, which motivate him to make the first move. Very small, but incredibly thoughtful of her. He’s always liked the details. 

The anthropologist is quite capable of being romantic if he so desires, but decides that with her in particular, it would be best to be polite and to the point. Of course, this is Korekiyo we are talking about, so he’ll still put his own twist on it-- so most likely discreetly slipping her a letter with a proper wax stamp on it expressing his feelings and a carnation, which in Japanese flower language is associated with fascination and distinction. 

The letter’s contents include notes of the uniquely human aspects of her he finds especially beautiful, and are highly specific: the faint curve of her mouth that appears for a split-second (when she thinks no one is looking) after someone receives retribution for their antics, her deft, graceful movements as she slices into vegetables and pours tea, the glint in her eye that appears after a particularly challenging request is given... the list could go on and on, he writes, but it would be far too long to be appropriate for this letter, yet Kirumi Tojo’s identity is so much more than only the Ultimate Maid. 

Lastly, it finishes with an attached sketch depicting one of the moments ‘when she is the most beautiful,’ showing her in her element... broom in hand, small frown on face, and scolding someone (read: Kokichi) After all, while many miss it, Korekiyo has picked up on the angry micro expressions that flit across her face after something particularly irritating has just occurred, and he loves them-- they make her humanity shine through. 

Subsequently, it would prompt her to meet somewhere secluded in the evening if she reciprocates-- her missing presence would be more than enough for him to take the hint. Not that she intended on doing so.

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

You’d think it would be Kirumi, but no, Korekiyo is, beneath his unusual charm and charisma, by a margin. After the passing of his sister, it left him hesitant to get close to people at a personal level, which contributes to how he ended up choosing anthropology-- not only to travel and experience the world when she could not, but because it allows for one to be ‘close’ to humans in a removed manner. So while he can easily wax poetry about nearly anything about humans, cultures, or a person, he does this in a very ‘scientific manner’ at times, preferring to view things as an observer rather than a participator. Of course, this aspect of him was integrated into his identity long before HPA, but it is this distanced nature that contributed to his initial indecisiveness about whether his feelings are organic, and the occasional concern about how much emotional intimacy he is obligated to show in a relationship. Luckily, Kirumi isn’t the type to absolutely need direct communication in a relationship, and is more subtle in demeanor as well.

Having been in the service industry for years and hiding her own emotions (from herself as well), Kirumi is proficient at recognizing others’ needs, and picks up on these issues seamlessly. She isn’t exactly the best at opening up either (this is an area of improvement for both of them), but still makes attempts to directly talk to him about this. Generally, their form of communication is largely nonverbal, being highly in tune with each other-- to this couple, actions speak louder than words, but issues like these are best addressed face-to-face, with words, before they fester. 

3. Who is the most romantic?

The anthropologist takes the cake here by societal standards-- his love language is giving gifts and words of affirmation, whereas Kirumi prefers acts of service (no surprise there!) but both share quality time as a commonality, and are very attentive towards each other. Regardless of the gift, Korekiyo is always sure to pick something thoughtful and practical, the way she likes things-- though now and then there’s something more material with emotional value in the mix, which she secretly likes. Kirumi is not used to people being so direct in this department with her, so while she’ll politely cite her preference for gifts as something useful, the silk gloves and other paraphernalia he gets her are a nice way to validate she has an identity outside of being a maid.

Not to mention that he has a way with words, and is incredibly proficient at finding 50 unique ways to compliment her in public, much to her chagrin (and hidden embarrassment,) but he takes pride in, citing that she should be more proud of her accomplishments. Nevertheless, Korekiyo still finds her indirect way of showing affection endearing, especially when she attempts to politely deflect compliments as ‘doing what any maid worth their salt would have done.’ 

Some things never change... even though he and the other members of Class 79 have slowly gotten her to be more open about accepting assistance from others (she’s overworked herself and passed out once!) 

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Again, while both of them are capable of (and prefer) being lowkey in public, it’s free real estate in private, so once again, this goes to Korekiyo. His official love language isn’t physical touch, but he embodies all five of them quite well, this one very much included. 

Kirumi, on the other hand, doesn’t like PDA out of professionalism, which makes her a bit hesitant, even in the privacy of his or her room to be comfortable with it. This isn’t to say she isn’t curious or won’t even consider the possibility, but it takes her a considerable amount of time to warm up to it. Initially, the most you’ll see from them in public is subtle touches on each other’s hand-- little playful taps here and there-- which then morph into holding hands when no one’s around to see it. In private, they’re more willing to be physically close (think head in lap while reading), and Kirumi’s brushed his hair on more than one occasion. It should be noted that one of the most intimate moments the two have had was holding hands in private without any sort of fabric acting as a barrier. 

However, Korekiyo does have a cheekier side that slips out (more slyly playful to incite something interesting/fluster her) and is known to slip an arm around her waist, pulling her in close. If you squint, you might catch a faint flush on the usually unflappable Kirumi. Bonus points if this is during the evening, and a breeze blows by. Bonus bonus if this is in public, during broad daylight. 

The ‘class dad’ has to assert his dominance every now and then over the unruly children, no? 

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Love comes in a lot of different forms and of course, at each person’s pace. Both of them circle around this topic and have essentially said it nonverbally before, but the first to vocalize it is most likely still Korekiyo. It’s not in Kirumi’s nature to be direct about her emotions (but for duties and professional matters, absolutely), so it’s up to him to say he loves her first. 

It’s most likely uttered in private, accompanied with a small kiss, and very quietly-- so quiet you can barely catch it, but that doesn’t matter, because only the one who needs to hear it the most will. 

conclusion

Three words best describe this relationship: mature, meaningful, and synchronized.

Both of these individuals are aloof and formal on the surface level, but if one takes the time to truly get to know them, there’s quite the intense fire burning underneath in the form of being utterly devoted to each other every step of the way. Of course, this is all done in a very reserved manner, and if they don’t want you to know about it, you won’t. 

Well, if you got here, thank you for reading all of this. I’ve liked this ship for a while, and I remember being nervous to create content-- I’m sure know how volatile fandom life can be, no? Hope you enjoyed my take and spins on their relationship, and I might post more later. 

Feel free to request or drop something in the askbox for these two.

[cinnamon-shakes]

Ghostbot lore

Alright, so a lot of people have been joining Brian David Gilbert’s exercise streams lately and most of them are a bit confused about Ghostbotvoice and the lore surrounding them, so I’ve decided to release the knowledge out into the public.

It’s a pretty long read. Here we go.

 -On the 15th of August, BDG starts doing an exercise stream. The number of viewers is initially pretty small and manageable by his one mod, Karen, but after his weekend stream special that he advertised on Twitter, each stream starts to get about 500 viewers. Brian does not have nightbot, but says he will add it to the stream soon.

-On the 28th of September, viewers of BDG's stream discover that he has added in nightbot...without adjusting any of the very strict automod settings. This results in nightbot censoring people who use more than two emojis, many of which are the trans heart emoji used in the daily trans rights chat parade. Nightbot is deemed transphobic, and Brian norts it before the stream is even halfway done

-Chat adapts to there being no bot, but newcomers still occasionally attempt to use nightbot commands such as !rules or !uptime

-On the 11th of November, a user types '!uptime' into chat, and gets four immediate responses (one of which was by me, cinnamon_shakes) going 'no nightbot, but it's been about 21 minutes'. This garners responses such as 'be the nightbot you want to see in the world' and 'assigned nightbot by chat'. People begin impersonating what a real BDG nightbot would be like, preceding their messages with the words 'nightbot voice', such as "nightbot voice: honk if you like getting buff and working out" or "nightbot voice: don't forget to stretch and hydrate" etc etc. Eventually we have a chat with about 80% of people pretending to be nightbot.

-At this point, I decide to go against the crowd and send a message along the lines of "Human voice: I am definitely a human being with a real human heart, you can check it out in my cellar". User ProjectMarley decides to take a look in my cellar, and for a good ten minutes, chat watches as we roleplay me luring them into my cellar and them being oblivious and trusting. Once they get there, they mysteriously die and are ‘no longer in chat’. Everyone agrees that I definitely did not kill them and am entirely innocent of any and all blame. We all wonder for a few moments why Marley disconnected and mourn their presence. We can hear the wind in the chat, but no Marley.

-For the rest of the stream, Marley starts beginning their sentences with 'ghostbot voice' and says things along the lines of "Ghostbot voice: I can't exercise because I don't have a corporeal body, but it's time for High Intensity Biking".

-On the 12th of November (the day after the mysterious death of Marley), a new user joins the stream by the name of 'Ghostbotvoice'. They do not respond to commands like a bot, but do send a lot of nightbot-like messages. Many of these are built on a foundation of stream-lore-knowledge, such as knowing specific users' actual names and knowing what kind of messages regulars tend to send. No one knows who is behind ghostbotvoice, but it seems like a momentary funny gag

-On the 13th of November, ghostbotvoice is back, with more new messages. Chat speculates, and it seems clear that it is run by a human being who is copy pasting a set of preconceived messages with the occasional off the cuff ones. Ghostbot assures us that they are definitely a real human being with an actual human body who does human being things. Chat accepts ghostbotvoice as One Of Us. Someone gifts them a sub.

-On the 18th of November, Ghostbot lets chat know that they are now programmed to respond to commands. Chat goes wild and everyone thoroughly tests out the commands. Halfway through the stream, ghostbot stops responding or posting messages. We all mourn their second death. They do return the next day though, and all days after with more and more commands and secret unlisted commands. Chat enjoys discovering the secret commands a lot. We still have no idea who is running the account, but there are several suspects from amongst the regular stream-goers

-On the 10th of December, user Well_Spoken_Rambler shoots Ghostbotvoice a message in twitch chat, and user ProjectMarley responds to it as though they are Ghostbot. However, we as a chat (including Karen) suddenly find ourselves incapable of reading, and agree that we still have no idea who on earth could possibly be running ghostbotvoice. Anyone who suggests it is Marley is misinforming the public.

-Direct statement released by user ProjectMarley on the incident:

“That message was completely incidental and any perceived similarity to a ghostbot reply was not intended by twitch user projectmarley”

-Statement from Karen Han, on the day of the incident: 

-Thus far, Ghostbot has agreed with chat regarding the stance on Nightbot—negative. However, from the 11th-13th of December, Polygon runs a three-day charity stream. Nightbot is on the polygon channel but has limited messages and commands. Fortunately, Ghostbot decides to join in and does a frankly excellent job helping the chat community and keeping it chill! Additionally, people in chat start shipping Nightbot and Ghostbot (in a very jokey kinda way), and ghostbot’s !nightbot and !botbot commands change over the three days to reflect their growing feelings towards Nightbot, who is a stoic romantic lead who sometimes whispers poggers, revealing their softer side. OTP. The following shows most if not all of that progression:

- By the 16th of December, we have a lot of different secret commands for Ghostbot, including some that reference the polygonathon events. In chat, we are talking about how peat bogs are very important and make for good compost and someone jokes about wanting a !peat or !bog command. I ask why not a swamp command? I tell chat that I will make a shrek bot that only responds to swamp commands, an idea everyone hates immediately and which brings me great joy.

-The next day, on the 17th of December, user ProjectMarley cannot make it to stream and says, completely unrelatedly, that Ghostbot may not be there for the whole stream and might disconnect halfway through. Stream continues as usual, until I type !swamp in chat and reveal that user shrekbotvoice has joined chat. Chaos ensues. Shrekbot only responds to 3 commands (!swamp, !donkey and !union) so that their presence does not risk ghostbot’s continued existence as a community bot. 

-Over the ensuing weeks, Shrekbot becomes a rarely needed back-up bot for times Ghostbot isn’t available and he gets a few more community based commands but is still a very cursed experience. We won’t talk about botbotbot coz you’re very young and new. 

-Present day: Brian has gotten a lot more viewers now for his streams (nearly 1k usually) and a lot of new users are confused about ghostbotvoice and whether or not I am actually innocent. Let this statement prove once and for all that I have never in my life done anything wrong, ever.

 And that’s all the lore! Also, ghostbot’s pronouns are thex/theb/theyr (which has nothing to do with marley’s propensity for typos, not at all) but they are also fine with they/them (which is what I used for this statement to not make it more confusing for people reading). 

Additionally, Brian has mentioned thinking about bringing back nightbot with adjusted settings, so botbot may yet become canon.