#what the fuck would be healthy yaoi

[kirexa]

Toxic Yaoi

Versus

Healthy Yuri

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me

[k-martins]

Updating mine

MY TOP TEN FAVORITE JJK SHIPPS!!!!

10. SHOKOHIME

They stole Jogo and Hanami's place because I got it into my head that Jogo is like the grumpy grandfather and Hanai is the vegan aunt of the curse family! I like them. I think it's a ship with a lot of potential. I need to consume more content, but I love the fanarts!!!

9. HIGUNANA

This crack grew in me and now I'm suffering for them after the last chapter. In a kind universe, Higuruma and Nanami adopted Yuji and they live happily and happily!!! I think the two go together a lot and the fanfics are adorable! These Old Yaoi will be the death of me!!!!

8. CHOSOYUKI

They've come down a little, but man I still love them!!! Even more so now because my thirst for Choso awakened and I started reading fanfics of him being a good big brother and I fell to my knees! I still want to write more and explore his relationship with Yuji. And God, YUKI IS AMAZING!!!! THEY DESERVED TO STAY TOGETHER, AKUTAMI YOU DAMN IT!!!!

7. HIGUKUSA

A friend on twt is feeding me higukusa art and, god, this crack (not so crack, because that "I'll protect you even if I have to die for it" from kusakabe hit me hard) has taken root in my heart! I'm also obsessed with Higuruma, so I combined the useful with the pleasant!

6. INUOKKO

THEY ARE CUTE OKAY!!!! I AM OBSESSED WITH CREATING HCS FOR THEM!!! I don't consume much of their stuff, but all the fanart I've seen is cute and their participation in the itafushi fics I read is always welcome!!! It's kind of strange to read something where they're not together…

5. NOBAMAKI

MY OPINION HAS NOT CHANGED, OKAY??? NOBAMAKI IS WONDERFUL AND I WOULD KILL TO HAVE MORE OF THEM!!! But since I saw Nobara's flashback I've been wondering if Fumi wouldn't be a good ship too? Does anyone have a fanfic/fanart of him, by the way??? ANYWAY, NOBAMAKI IS STILL MY FAVORITE!!!

4. KIRAKARI

I'M IN LOVE WITH KIRARA!!!! SHE AND HAKARI ARE THE ONLY HEALTHY THINGS IN THIS MISERABLE MANGA!!!! I love imagining what their relationship is like, writing hcs slice to life minis and drawing Kirara! But I'm getting worried because I saw someone saying that Kirara could appear in the Hakari x Urame fight to help her boyfriend and I know what's going to happen and I don't want it to happen! GEGE GET THESE DIRTY CLAWS AWAY FROM MY BABIES!!!!

3. SATOSUGU

YOU RUINED BLACK AND WHITE FOR ME, YOU DEPRESSED BITCHES!!! My friend is obsessed with them and boy can I understand! These two are tragic, with a beautiful dynamic and a happy ending(?). Plus they fucked up my Christmas Eve. I hope these two bitches are causing terror in heaven!

2. ITAFUSHI!!!!

If you've known me for more than a second, you'll know that I have an average of five outbreaks a day because of these two. This whole thing about always trying to save others even if it condemns them destroys me, okay??? Fanfics and fanarts also feed me! And I'm going to convince all my friends to ship this too so I can yell at 2am at them about little details of their dynamic! AND THEY MATCH SO MUCH!!! Of course, no more than our first place!!!!

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EVERYONE X THERAPY!!!

Please let the deaths stop and this become canon

Honorable mention for _ Tojikuna (more because a twt artist is obsessed with them and that rubbed off on me) _ Hainana _ Toji x Mamagumi _ Okkofushi (Yuta was Megumi's first crush and you can't get that out of my head) _ Uraume x Sukuna (one-sided) _ Yuta x Maki

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: ก่อนดอกไม้…บาน / 花开有时颓靡无声 / Meet You at the Blossom

Meet You at the Blossom is a 2024 joint Thai/Chinese adaptation of a Chinese danmei novel. Marketing itself as an "uncensored BL," it tells the love story of the world's dumbest boy and the absolute psychopath he has the (mis)fortune to fall for.

Note that "uncensored" doesn't mean you're going to see somebody's little blossom or anything like that. It just means that the love story is textual and canonical. These boys declare their love for one another. They hold hands. They smooch. They have soft, unfocused scenes where one of them climbs on top of the other and then everything fades to black. They are two boys and they are in love ... and sure, one of them thinks the other is a girl for longer than is probably reasonable, but what relationship doesn't have its share of misunderstandings?

This twelve-episode drama is a bodice-ripping melodrama with a bottom-barrel Harlequin novel plot. It is the most soap opera I've seen something that isn't a soap opera be. If you are the kind of person who enjoys this sort of thing, you are absolutely going to enjoy this sort of thing. If you're not ... well, it might still hook you anyway. Here's five reasons I think you should watch it.

1. Perfect toxic yaoi sludge

Do you only consume media about healthy relationships between consenting equals, where people have conversations and are always honest about their feelings? Great. Turn this off immediately.

Meet You at the Blossom is the show for people who yearn for the days of Kizuna. People who still think longingly about Zetsuai 1989. People who will not be convinced that Tokyo Babylon is anything but peak romance. People who have seen Gravitation more than once and of their own volition. People who have looked the trashiest yaoi out there dead in the eye and shouted BRING ME MORE.

I keep using the word "yaoi" because that's what it is. It's a gay relationship begun under false premises, consummated under sketchy circumstances, longed for despite serious reasons to stay broken up, and then all somehow worked out in the end. I have described the main pairing as, what if Wen Kexing fell in love with a labradoodle? Carried out to its logical conclusion, this relationship would be good for neither Wen Kexing nor the labradoodle. But for the purposes of a catastrophically badly paced twelve-episode series, it's all the dramatic fuel you need.

Nothing about their relationship is ever reliably safe, sane, or consensual -- and that's the fun of it! Look, the first time they fuck (in episode two!) is under the influence of sex pollen, and they come out the other side of it awkward but definitely not traumatized. I've seen people say they wish the show had treated the noncon bits with more gravity, which ... look, there's no noncon here. Actual noncon-wanters would be sorely disappointed by what this show offers. There's some impaired judgment and overblown irrational jealousy and aggressively pinning one's very drunk partner to the bed, but it's that kind of perfectly okay force fantasy that works in fiction, because in fiction everyone's okay with it. You know they're okay with it. The writer wrote it so they're okay with it. Everybody is getting exactly what they want.

This is a drama about people having Big Feelings that would be terrifying in real life, but are fun as hell onscreen. So you are promising me right now that if you watch this, you will not overthink it, because overthinking this show is like being that raccoon that failed at washing a piece of cotton candy. Don't try to clean up this delicate sugary mess. Eat it dirty.

2. Some fascinating faces

This is going to sound like such a backhanded compliment, but I swear it's not: There are some really interesting-looking people in this show! I can't swear this is because of the Thai production elements, but I have to assume that the different cultural beauty standards at work at least somewhat influenced the casting choices.

A thing about c-dramas is, the majority of the under-40 male actors look like their base model came off of one of the dozen or so approved production lines at the Pretty Boy Factory. While I enjoy these production lines, combine it with my natural touch of faceblindness, and I've had some hilarious moments where I have been certain two characters were played the same person, when they were in fact very much not.

This show is full of a bunch of actors you'd be hard-pressed to mistake for anyone else. There's like one guy who's conventionally c-drama handsome, while everyone else brings a lot more variety to the table than you tend to find in productions like this.

Li Le, when he's all done up as Zongzheng Huaien, is strikingly beautiful in a way that reminds me of old film starlets who maybe should've stopped about one nose job ago. I've seen pictures of him when he's dressed like a regular modern boy, and he's lovely, sure. But with the hair and the outfits and the constant haughty ice-cold stares he's leveling at people, the final look is stunning. And then he smiles and it's just the cutest goofy grin! Anyway, there's a whole big deal about Huaien's parentage, when the obvious answer is that the fey folk dropped him off and said, good luck with this one.

Meanwhile, Wang Yunkai, who plays Jin Xiaobao, has perfectly plump, kissable lips and a wide, soft nose that together with his giant eyes give him the perfect air of an innocent bisexual dumbass currently in the process of figuring out the whole "bisexual" part. He's so cute and cuddleable that you feel extra-bad when you see him in pain, which works for the show, because he spends a lot of the back half of the series being in both emotional and physical pain, as per conventions of the genre.

As for the rest of the cast, there's...

store-brand Huang Youming!

pouty Thai princess!

slimy kite dude and his terrible 'stache!

these precious dipshits!

...and a couple guys I just straight-up can't find pictures of, even though they're important named characters, because this may be the first thing they've been in? Look, this is not a show of well-known names, nor is it something that's probably to launch any careers to prominence. I'm not even going to say this is a show where everybody looks like everyday average people, because no! They obviously do not! They are very attractive people! They are just attractive according to a set of criteria you do not often see on Chinese television, and I think that's great.

3. You don't have to say NO HOMO every time you touch another dude

Really, truly, the greatest thing about an overtly BL property is how touchy men can be -- and not even the romantic pairings! Loyal servants get to hug their masters! Coworkers get to fall asleep in a two-man puppy pile! Childhood besties get to wrap comforting arms around one another! Brothers in arms get to catch their fallen comrades! Friends get to tearfully bid farewell to one another before leaving on journeys! Cousins get to embrace to the point one of the cousins really wishes they would stop!

Mostly it's that once you've removed the fear that gay shit might get your show censored, you can have your male characters engage in a perfectly regular amount of human physical contact.

Like, one of my favorite funny things about c-dramas is the amount of wrist-gripping that happens, as though dragging someone else along by their wrist is a real-life thing that happens often, or even at all. It's the perfect example of how paranoia about depicting physical intimacy leads to substitutes that are just bizarre. We can't possibly have these two people hold hands! So let's make up another gesture and pretend it's a thing people do voluntarily and (more importantly) heterosexually!

But when you've already outright put the YEP, IT'S GAY sign on your production, that paranoia vanishes. What are the censors going to do, get mad at the part where two friends are sleeping tangled up with one another? Three minutes ago there was a scene where one guy kissed another on the mouth! Let those boys snooze!

Alas that the scenes that are supposed to be sexy come across as mostly awkward -- largely because those two leads don't really seem all that keen on sticking their tongues down each other's throats, which, you know, I get; it'd be weird if I had to kiss my coworkers. But what they are good at is snuggling. I almost wish -- and keep in mind this is me saying this -- they'd cut the scenes that were trying to be horny and leaned more into the tender, playful moments they get together. Those are the ones that made me squeal happily and kick my little feet.

I have to mention this one: There is a little cheek kiss that I absolutely love. (I can't find a screencap of it, and my own attempts at screenshotting it were hilariously unproductive, but it gets played as part of gay flashbacks pretty much once an episode, so you can't miss it.) Huaien is being menacing in an attempt to be offputting, and Xiaobao is stubbornly refusing to be anything but charmed by it, and as soon as Huaien turns his head, Xiaobao takes advantage of the moment and plants a quick little mwah! on Huaien's cheek.

And it's SO GOOD. I said out loud, in that moment, do you know how many shows would be improved if one guy could just give another guy a little kissie on his cheek? It should be like how getting a PG-13 rating allows your movie one "fuck," but instead every c-drama gets one moment where a guy gives another guy a little peck. Not even on the lips! Like how Aragorn gets to give Boromir a farewell forehead kiss. Sometimes a scene just calls for a little kissie! Sometimes everything would be better if a guy could just kiss the homies!

You're thinking now of all the places you'd use your single little kissie in various dramas, aren't you? Yeah, so am I.

4. side pairs side pairs side pairs~

Yeah, main couple, true love, happily ever after, whatever. SIDE PAIRS SIDE PAIRS SIDE PAIRS [banging rhythmically on table]

You know the genre, so you know there's always going to be That One Guy that threatens to steal the pure-hearted one away from the psycho by being handsome, rich, well-intentioned, and generally emotionally stable. You also know it's not going to work, because no matter how much healthier that relationship would be, it's not the tasty toxic flavor we're going for here. Anyway, sorry, Su Yin, but you never left the childhoodbestfriendzone.

That bratty prince wants to fuck his cousin so bad. His cousin is not going to fuck him, not because of cousin status, but because the bratty prince needs to be tossed out the nearest window and not let back in until he can legally drink.

I was ready to ship Jin Xiaobao's two little guard buddies -- but no! The littler of the two guard buddies has his own love interest who shows up later in the show, and I'm so upset that there's not more of these two, because that's an unexpectedly hot setup. I'll say no more; you should enjoy this one as it happens.

Now, do not presume that this is a Kinnporsche deal, where fiction has created a magical world in which every man is at least a Kinsey 2. There are still straight men in this show (and a few men who clearly think they're straight but have not yet gotten the memo) who experience varying degrees of befuddlement about the homo drama happening around them. Most characters are at least casually anti-gay, but in sort of the same way you might expect a big cattle-ranching family to react if their son started dating a vegan -- it's not unthinkable or illegal, but, like, why?

There needs to be a word for a gentler state than homophobia. Something like homobefuddlement, a social condition where falling in love with another guy is about on the level of getting a face tattoo or naming your child Optimus Prime. There's nothing stopping you, but you know somebody's roasting your ass on Ancient Chinese Fantasy Reddit.

5. A budget of three dollars and a ham sandwich

I am firmly on record as being charmed by productions that make do with skimpy resources, and Meet You at the Blossom's resources are skimpy as heck. I highly suspect this is one of those situations where if they'd known it was going get the attention that it has, they might've put more money into it from the start -- but they didn't, so they didn't.

I keep coming back to "soap opera" as a description, because that's about the production level you should be picturing here. If you played this on a TV with motion smoothing enabled, the effect would be complete. Everything is done to the cheapest possible degree. Characters legitimately toss smoke bombs and disappear like they're anime ninjas, probably because renting a fog machine has got to be way less expensive than the rigs for wirework. That's the type of shoestring budget we're talking here.

The greenscreen is Not Good, my friends. I mean, not that you expected it to be, but however far you've lowered your expectations already, lower them more.

They got to borrow a brothel set for like half an hour. It's the most people you see in a single room at the same time, and it represents drunkenness by spraying raspberry soda over all the lights.

If I had a nickel for every time Huaien is in some terrible predicament that seems impossible for him to get out of, and then he shows up somewhere else like two scenes later, and we never find out exactly how he got out of that terrible predicament, I would have multiple nickels in my pocket, is all I'm saying.

You know, if my wigs/beards and wig/beard glue were that bad, I would simply refrain from frequent, intense close-ups of the parts where people's fake hair joins to their faces. And if my actors all had that much foundation caked on them, I would probably refrain from close-ups, period. But that's just me.

Actually, no, there's something else about the wigs: They're styled so badly that it actually wraps around (ha ha) to being charming. I'm used to wig situations where the topknots are combed tight and oiled into place within an inch of their lives. But here, everybody who has an updo has kind of a messy one? Especially little Jinbao, where you can see the ends of his ponytail stick out the back in a scruffy fashion, giving him the vibe of a little ragamuffin who's never learned how to do up his hair quite right.

There's a plot, sort of. It's basically the thinnest possible series of excuses for the action in the show to happen, told in occasional five-minute bursts of exposition given by characters you forgot about between now and the last time they appeared. Don't worry if you can't keep track of which prince is which, or who is whose dad. Man, there's even a "curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" near the end that's played up as some big shock, and I was like, have we met this dude before? I think pretty much every time the grownups started talking, we stopped paying attention. Look, I know this is based on a novel I haven't read, and I'm sure the plot comes off better when it's all packed together in a couple of pages of dialogue you can skip without consequence on your way to the boy-kissing, but in the show it just comes off as perfunctory and clunky. From what I've seen, people who've read the book tend to be way more into the intricacies of the narrative, but I haven't, so I'm not.

(Wait, in the novel, Jin Xiaobao is supposed to be fat? Well, now I feel I've been robbed! ...Eh, it's fine, I'm not sad to skip a sequence where the side benefit of trauma is that you get skinny.)

All this, to me, is charming. If you demand higher production values from your entertainment, this will not be what you want. If cozying up with some low-budget tomfooloery with a big heart feels like comfort food to you, you are among friends here.

And speaking of friends, let me strongly recommend that you watch this with some, if you can, because there are parts that are just begging to get riffed on. I would not have had a tenth as much fun watching it alone as I did goofing my way through it with my wife. It is a show that is only improved by the jokes you make about it along the way. It has no dignity, nor are you obligated to treat it as though it does. Cuddle up with your buddies, grab your favorite snacks, and sharpen your shadiest claws.

Want to meet this show somewhere?

It's conveniently up in a lot of places! Pick your poison:

GagaOOLala

WeTV

iQIYI

Viki

YouTube

Look, I'm going to say it one more time for the people in the back row: This is not a serious, thoughtful portrayal of healthy relationship dynamics. If you expect it to be, you will be sorely disappointed. It is a tale of a bunch of dudes (and, like, two women) whose emotional volume knobs are stuck at eleven and emotional intelligence doesn't go above a two. Go into it knowing what you're getting into, and you might just have yourself a pretty good time.

Get that little kissie!

[zan0tix]

I yap so much about the comic and the importance i find in its contents but i hope when i write dirk or jake or rlly any of them it doesnt come off as me dumbing them down😭

I know the core internal mechanisms at which they all operate from otherwise i wouldnt understand why they even do what they do and why they speak how they do since that is so crucial to analysis of their behaviour and Why they were written.

But i mostly write silly scenarios so the deeper messier parts dont get to show much😭 working on deeper things tho rest assured i am locking in🫡🫡🫡

I try to match the tones of how i believe the characters would act continuing off the ending of homestuck. With dirk and jake specifically i try to write them to where they still both kinda dont say everything they need to but they dont have the weight of narrative destiny on their shoulders anymore so they can admit they like spending time together and have actually confessed like normal people and got out those apologies they kept yammering on about in the last half of act 6

I try to reinvoke the ridiculous nature of the one time we really see the real dirk and jake talk (which was actually a dreambubble memory. jake is so gay.) but i try to make it feel how that did, they really do love spending time together and just being weird and cringe and bantering about stupid shit ❤️(the most we see dirk type laugh in the comic)

(Always Highly recommend reading this log if you havent in a while. Its just such good writing theyre so funny) https://www.homestuck.com/story/4844

I feel like the Best Bros part of dirkjake kinda gets lost alot of the time considering THEY NEVER SPEAK DIRECTLY (which is insane that hussie could craft this universe bending gender norm shattering yaoi with no fucking interactions wtf anyway) but there is alot you can gleam from jakes interactions with hal and this one log to tell us how they usually speak

Dirk always veers into making homoerotic comments because.. i dunno he might have feelings for jake or something whos to say. and when jake presses him dirk immediately diverts. I think from being around dave and everything daves realised thats bullshit about masculine standards and heroism that let him have a healthier relationship to masculinity, hearing abt that would loosen dirk up about Actually being affectionate to jake

But hes still somehow trying to no homo his way out of things that are incredibly homo just in a subtler way, not immediately going “Haha, what? I never said that. Anyway.” (Its both out of his fear for what his true identity means about him as a man but also because he doesnt think he deserves to get such affections cough thinks himself an evil)

And jake was always going with the flow. If his friends socially decreed something as okay to talk about then the fucking damn burst open and he couldnt keep it in anymore but they had to Very Clearly Clarify with him about it. So i think dirk going down a more positive road would lead jake there too seeing that if its okay for dirk to be less restrictive with his feelings jake can be too.

The Epilogues has a highly specific premise and was being manned by caliborn and calliope 2.0 cranked to the max in the deranged fanfic behaviour so. Of course it would not be a healthy environment for characters to grow💀 anyone who takes it as full confirmation about how theyd act or become as adults and ignores the fact of its premise Being “Homestuck but Sick and Twisted; The Fanfiction” is kind of stupid its like saying homosuck was in character. Ofc everybodys lives goes to shit because the two running the show dont know how the hell to be good puppeteers 😭

Said it on twitter but you can tell how much a dirk hates himself based on his relationship to a jake. Because tho ult dirk wouldnt ever admit it jake is dirks anchor of self worth just as dirk is jakes. When they show compassion and kindness to one another its a step closer to self acceptance because Jake is quite frankly a living embodiment of EVERYTHING that is “wrong” (queer, cringe, sincere, feminine) about Dirk to himself in his saviour complex surrounding manhood. (See Everything caliborn says about jake) jakes always waiting for dirk. If dirk were to step down and admit his own humanity itd mean hed have to accept he is capable of growing and isnt inherently evil, and jake would be ready to embrace that about himself too

Anyway all that to say. Even in my simple silly writing i at least do try to retain dirk and jakes strange emotional dodging olympics but also its just on a smaller level since theyve inching their way to fully internalising that Its Okay to be Cringe and Gay Together❤️ because the World isnt Ending anymore. Its in the little things they dont say because haha im the one who makes them say words.

Dirk and jake hate themselves because theyre not men in the right way but their love is because of them not being men in the right way so.. nerm.. Whos flying the plane?

[swifty-fox]

From the angst writing prompts list: “ you’ll fuck me but you won’t [go out with/date/marry] me. ” for Buck x Bucky?

prompt list

let's do some Hockey AU! Old Men Yaoi time Buck and Gale are in their late thirties here.

Saturday evening's argument starts out in that silent way of theirs. A slight downward curve of Gale's lips, a scoffing eyeroll from John. A decision not to sit beside each other on the plane ride home.

John shuts down the goal on Gale during practice, a pointed petty over-exertion of routine practice.

Gale uses the last of the creamer and doesn't replace it. He doesn't even like creamer in his coffee.

By Monday night they're in a full-blown Fight.

It makes the rookies uneasy, the tension between their Captain and their Alternate. The way the two men snipe at each other from the showers, from the locker room, from puck drop to final buzzer reminds the other veterans of their debut year on the team. Before they'd figured things out and decided they made a damn good team on the ice and romantically to boot.

The Buckies didn't fight. It was an irrefutable fact of the universe, like how Biddick always ate a nerds rope between second and third periods and the way Little Mac always had dog fur in his duffel bag.

Tuesday they lose their game because Gale is too busy chirping John for leaving the crease yet again and so John tells him to care about his own game and lets in three points diving for the puck halfway to the blue rather than trusting their Dmen.

Wednesday is a double OT Win and John goads the teams into a line brawl because it would be exceptionally bad form for him to punch his Alternate in the face.

Friday Coach Chick Harding sits them down and tells them to figure their shit out or be benched for the foreseeable future.

At home they cook dinner and don't talk about it. John does the dishes and Gale does the laundry and they don't talk about it. They have bitter, biting, angry sex and hold each other in the aftermath but they don't talk about it.

They're both healthy scratches for Saturday's game and Brady loses a tooth trying to fill Gale's skates. Curt corners John in the owners booth after, sticks a blunt scarred finger at his nose and orders him to fix this.

John, who'd always been the slightly more emotionally intelligent of the two, and also the elder, and also the goddamn Captain, sighs like a scolded teenager.

Lying in bed after another bout of wonderful sex where they don't talk about it and don't talk about anything else either John stares up at the ceiling they'd painted together and purses his lips.

"We have to talk about it."

Gale grunts, twists to pop a couple advil in his mouth and passes the bottle to John. They both were living with their aches and pains more prominently these days and their medicine cabinet had long been well stocked with compression bandages and OTC painkillers and packs and packs of IcyHot. "Talk about what?"

"Oh fuck off, eh? You're not stupid and you're not a fuckin' liar Buck."

"What is there to say?"

Throwing his hands up John makes a wordless sound of frustration, rolls to pin Gale with his thighs and glare down at him. Both their bodies were mid-season lean, packed with muscle and bruised from rough play that would only grow rougher as teams fought to qualify for the playoffs. "You're content to fuck me all these years but you won't marry me?"

Gale, lines around his beloved face that were not there even five years ago, grey creeping through his hair unnoticed for the paleness of it, avoids John's gaze.

"Isn't this enough? We got a house and we got a team and it's each other we come home to at night. We live like we're married already Bucky, what's a document got to do with any of it?"

"If it's just a document it should be no big deal right?" John asks sweetly.

Gale frowns up at him and John jabs him in the center of his chest, drawing a grunt from the other man.

"You're being a puss and you know it. I just can't figure out why."

Pale blue eyes close, muscled cheekbones flexing with tension as Gale sighs slowly. John strokes down Gale's chest, over the seams of his stomach muscles and along the ladder of his ribs. Even angry, they'd lived too long together to not be at ease.

"I don't want the end of my career to become a political statement. I don't want to be a martyr or a symbol, I just want to play some good fucking hockey and then retire. And then when it's no longer our Job to be talked about I want to marry you quietly and privately and play beer leagues with you so you can finally have your Goaltender fight."

there's a long period of silence in which Galer's face screws up tighter, eyes squeezing shut as if waiting for his partner's ire. And then John is laughing, loud and incredulously and from the belly.

"That's it?"

Gale opens one eye and finds John looking down at him with his signature toothless grin. His salt and pepper hair falls around their faces as he bends down to kiss Gale soundly, "You spent the last week stressing out all the children because you were too scared to ask for a long engagement?"

"Engagement?"

John rolls back off Gale's body with a groan, stretching his body out, "Yeah. Unless I heard wrong you just said you wanted to marry me, which is as good as asking in my book. So sure Gale, I'll marry you after you retire."

"Hold on, John, fuckin' hell, we're not resolving this that easy are we?"

"I mean it ain't the most romantic of proposals, but there's time for you to do it right."

[sanchezsimp]

Okay, I'm just gonna be reeealll straight and honest with y'all here-

Billford.

Warning: I'm not going to tag this post, because there aren't any actual spoilers in it, but these were my thoughts after reading it. Read if ya want.

I, personally, never shipped it. I also never had a problem with others shipping it. I respected it and still do. Perhaps more now. It was sort of a "whatever, do what you want, like what you like, don't care" ship for me. BUT!

NEVER, in a million years, did I think the Book of Bill would get me into it rather than the goddamn fandom.

Okay, let me be more specific here...

I didn't see them as properly being in a relationship. It's not my OTP or anything like that, and it sure as hell wasn't healthy or sweet.

Bill was abusive, and Ford was a victim.

But I do believe that, despite using him, Bill actually felt connected with Ford, and they had some good times... And he was real upset when the only person he felt that connection with left him.

That doesn't make it any less toxic or wrong.

I wouldn't say I ship it now, per se, but I definitely see it, because it feels canon.

To me, it was a one-sided, maybe-romantic thing with Bill, and he was hurt. This does not excuse the fucked up shit he did.

Maybe it wasn't truly romantic, but there was some element in there, if you ask me.

To anyone who disagrees and thinks it definitely was or definitely wasn't romantic-- Alright! You're entitled to your own opinion.

But, y'all, I did not expect the Book of Bill to be about Bill and Ford's toxic yaoi, and hell, I'm not opposed.

It was great, I cannot explain more how much I fucking loved reading it.

Tumblr, please don't hate me-

[necrotic-nephilim]

i think stephcass could have been potentially interesting if fandom let steph be herself and not ultimate uwu girl boss erasing all her negative traits. where is her jealousy? unhealthy obsession with her crush and complete lack of understanding of the concept of boundaries ESPECIALLY if that person is already dating someone? where is her almost manic urge to push away other potential love interests (and at this point i realized she would NOT have been so chill with ives if tim had come out much earlier yikes)

BIG AGREE OH MY GOD YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS.

because i love TimSteph for the reasons you listed!! there's something very unhealthy and teen girl-ish in the way Steph approaches relationships. she's angrily jealous and she thinks about Tim in a possessive way. like she is just so consumed by him and it's meant to be male comic writers writing how they think teen girls write about boys in their diaries- but it comes off as incredibly toxic. it's one of her deepest character flaws and what endears me so much to 90s Steph. she throws herself so deeply into romance when she has it, like she's afraid if she lets go of it for even a second it's going to leave her. and god forbid you be the person she falls for bc you will never maintain a healthy relationship with someone she views as competition, she *will* sabotage it. and to me these are all pros of her character. i *like* seeing how vigilantes struggle to maintain normal relationships- *especially* teenage vigilantes. Steph struggles to balance her "regular" life with being Spoiler and what things deserve a Stephanie Brown reaction and what things deserve a Spoiler reaction. and when she's dating, it's almost *always* going to be a Spoiler reaction and she shades her relationships through that lense. it's why civilian partners for Steph never really interest me. (besides the fact they always feel forced and clunky, like Steph's recent think with Maps' older brother?) it doesn't explore the way Steph loves to her fullest extent and how far she goes when she's into someone. there's no sweet puppy love for Steph, when she's all in, she's *all* in. she will do what she thinks is best for Tim oftentimes by her own will without his knowledge or approval, and sometimes massively fucks things up for him. bc she's just so wrapped up in what she believes is best, consequences are secondary.

and sure, she maintains healthy friendships. bc most fodder with StephCass is very healthy and soft. bc it's a *friendship*. and it changes radically when Steph is involved romantically. it's why there's such a difference in how Steph regards Tim when they're just friends as to when they were dating. she loves him and he's always going to be important, but that obsessive passion isn't what drives them anymore. so it's something you have to consider with *any* Steph ship in which it's a character she's had a friendship with- that how she interacts with them as a friend doesn't necessarily inform how she'd regard them as a lover. and that's the issue with StephCass. even the StephCass content that *is* comics informed (tho, a lot of it isn't and while i don't think fanon needs to be based on the comics to be good, i do think Steph and Cass are difficult characters to tackle if you aren't at least semi-familiar with their canon content bc of how warped they are in the fandom-) comes off with such a rose-colored lense that sours it for me. hell, even on Cass' side, things she's *canonically* done have been weird and obsessive about Steph. but that's never explored.

(tbh dare i say it's something to do with the phenomena in fandom that yuri is morally pure and perfect and yaoi is always dirty and bad- there's this almost sanitizing of sapphic ships sometimes to make them perfect and cute together and while i'm not here to yuck someone else's yum, i do think it's *telling* that women in fandom never get to explore the complex depths of unhealthy and toxic love in the way men do bc if you make a woman evil, it's misogyny. if you sexualize a woman too much it's misogyny. if you write her doing morally fucked up things even with the understanding it is her canon character, it's misogyny and you're villainizing her. i can sit here and say Tim is canonically shitty at relationships and ppl will not. if i say the same about Steph, then i'm critiquing a woman and holding her to an unfair standard. it's exhausting. it feels like StephCass only ever exists to depict Steph and Cass as morally pure and in love angels kissing in the background while the men get to do complex and nuanced and fun things in the foreground. this thought has probably been far more explored by others with more developed nuance on it, but i just wanted to point it out bc it's a very real thing i keep seeing *especially* in the Batfam fandom-)

and equally i think Cass' reaction to this intensity and obsession from Steph could be interesting. Cass historically has had poor reactions to knowing everyone is attracted to her and thinking about her, so that level of intensity i think could cause some negative reactions out of Cass that would add some very layered conflict to the ship. some of Steph's most negative traits *do* clash with Cass' wants and needs. it makes the ship more fun! it puts Steph's flaws on display as well as Cass' flaws and her internal issues surrounding romance. StephCass could be so weird and fucked up. but it's been defanged by this fandom in a way that turns me off to it. i love both Steph and Cass and i love exploring sapphic Batfam ships, so it *should* work for me. but the irony of it being popular in anti spaces combined with no one being able to acknowledge the flaws either of these characters have for the sake of making them kiss just. bores me and it's sucked any interest i could have out of it. bc god forbid women just be a little fucked up. </3

[danganphobia]

but they stay with laios until he falls asleep anyway they barely get any sleep later in the morning themselves.

this is honestly so sweet they r his lesbian parents… AAAAH man laios angst is rlly real. i love farcille sm they are thee understanders TM theyre so sweet,,, theyre probably out here having fun and silly theatre or opera dates … the :3 to me

also also u mentioned chilshi. what r they up to. are they old men yaoi. r they professors or just . job havers. bar owners or smth

oh mah god i havent thought much about chilshi. my beloved old man yaoi. that's ok we're going through my thought process together.

if i were to think about it chilchuck sounds like a miserable medieval history adjunct professor. he's divorced. he sees his daughters like twice a month and they're the reason for his will to live, when he doesn't see them, he hates everything and everyone. he doesn't really like his job. he has tenure. he can do what he wants. when his students ask him if he could repeat the assignment he just says "No." and tells them all to leave his class because lecture time has ended and he refuses to go another minute over. his class exam average is below 40 percent and he doesn't give a fuck. he's waiting for his next paycheck to buy drinks at the local pub.

senshi's a culinary professor. he loves cooking and he loves teaching people how to cook. he's been doing it his whole life. he cooks for the gang during dnd meetings. whenever he's in a kitchen he makes it his own, even if the kitchen doesn't belong to him. if it weren't for him everyone would probably die of dehydration or live on cup ramen and frozen food for entire semesters. he leaves pastries on chilchuck's desk because chilchuck has to mentally prepare himself to help teach a class of 50 uninterested people that do anything but actually pay attention for nearly 3 hours. the pastries are actually what keeps chilchuck going. chilchuck is the one that asks senshi if he wants to go drinking. senshi is a really good listener, chilchuck finds that hot, and tries to sleep with him, but senshi stops him and asks if he could just come over to his apartment and senshi will cook a nice warm meal for him instead and take it slow, because he's a gentleman.

chilchuck actually agrees to it and has a good time. they sleep together but don't have sex, and he wakes up in the morning like damn, i actually have a crush at my big age? that's crazy.

this becomes a regular thing for them until chilchuck can't take it anymore and grabs senshi by the beard and is like "WE NEED TO FUCK. RIGHT NOW." and senshi goes "okay :) after dinner with me first :)" (they have sex).

"how did they get into the dnd club van" falin slapped a bunch of posters around campus with cute doodles and senshi saw it on his way to his classroom. he asked chilchuck if he wants to join sometime in case he's sick of teaching hopelessly unmotivated students. chilchuck thinks about it for a long time but one day when he's so stressed from teaching he joins a meeting and promises it's just "one time only" and ends up becoming a regular.

he brings his daughters to the dnd meetings and marcille is so happy because they're so cute. most of the time they just want to play minecraft and are on their expensive smartphones but they're nice girls. sometimes namari and kabru buy them fast food behind senshi's back when they don't feel like eating healthy.

[unhetalia]

I think what's fascinating about Arthur and Alfred is that the concept of immortality plays a huge part in the relationship between them in a way that it doesn't for other Hetalia ships.

In a way, this adds to the idea that Nations are 'other', and this is actually what's made them a less popular ship in fandom over time. People are uncomfortable with the fact that they met when Alfred was a child and Arthur was an adult. They're uncomfortable with the fact that there was a time where Arthur could be considered Alfred's caretaker.

If these two characters weren't immortal, there would be very little room for their relationship to grow beyond that of an adult and child, caretaker and charge. BECAUSE they're immortal, however, it's not only possible BUT we get to actually see it, which is rarer than you'd think in Hetalia.

Even though we as fans understand that history and time can change the relationship between two nations, we actually rarely see this in action. For example, Francis and Arthur have always been portrayed as rivals, and the intensity of that rivalry has stayed pretty consistent in canon despite the difference in their two countries' relationship. We know that Kiku and Alfred must have have had some difficulties between that first meeting and them being best friends in modern times, but we don't really see that either.

Arthur and Alfred's relationship, however, gets a really gorgeous, seriously written nod to the breakdown of the caretaker and charge relationship AND we also get to see them-as-equals in the present. When Himaruya used to do more ship tease, we even got to see it leading to a will-they-won't-they kind of thing.

So, it's really fascinating because it's a relationship where you can see that passage of time for them as Nations. I also think it allows for me to explore something that I don't believe in when it comes to real relationships - the idea that 'love is enough'.

This one can apply to everyone in Hetalia, but is particularly juicy with the canon we see for Arthur and Alfred. In real life, I stand by the adage that love is not enough. Love does not equal compatibility, it does not equal solving your relationship problems and love is not worth sacrificing yourself for. Basically - you need more than love to make a relationship work.

If Arthur and Alfred were mortal, they wouldn't have enough time to sort out all their issues in order to make a relationship work. That's my true opinion. A lot of accepting and moving on needs to happen. If they were mortal, I'd say ... just leave it. Experience the world! Find a love less intense but more healthy.

BUT THEY'RE NOT MORTAL. They're gonna get to a point where they've experienced as much world as they can, and the less intense but healthier love will literally die, and then who is left but each other, and every other immortal they have issues with? THIS is when love can be enough. This is when you can work on all the things that aren't worth working towards as a mortal. Eventually, we have a forever-young less toxic yaoi of my dreams.

And that is fucking amazing.

[ageravena]

You know what, the Fairly OddParents fandom has been quite tame. Let's spice things up a little bit.

Doesn't anybody else get that silly feeling when you see fanart of Peri being like a father to Dev, like... where's the rest of you 😍? Don't be shy, show us where Dale is. Or are you too scared? (I wouldn't blame you, I was too at first)

Small warning: this post includes slight swearing and many brain-numbing headcanons. I'm not responsible for any mental anguish you may experience

I would like to quickly apologize to the 6 people shipping Peri with Dale. I thought I was the only one but it seems like I've finally found my people. Anyways, back to the topic.

Now that you're here, I may as well show some more art of these two goobers +some silly headcanons. These are my AUed* versions of the two in my odd semi-realistic style that I completely ditch whenever I don't have the patience to draw faces (I often suck at drawing them. No wonder all my OCs are furries)

Note: him being slightly chubby and him having mobility issues are both headcanons I have shamelessly borrowed from others in the fandom. Also am I the only one who thinks Peri WOULDN'T be 6 ft tall? In the series he's like 5 apples tall, so wouldn't it make sense for him to be a bit short?

Note: there's like a bunch of lore explaining the reason why Dale looks so fucked up in my version. I scarred him for life, oopsie! But at least he has Peri now who "forces" him to go to therapy 😍. I may need to make a seperate post where I only talk about him and his past if I have the motivation.

I know a lot of you don't even know the pain of trying to convert a stylized character into a realistic style and still making them look good and kinda recognizable. I envy you who have less realistic art styles.

*And yes, I did say AU. More specifically I'm talking about the "Missionaries of Eden AU" (by me). I'm not gonna go into detail now, but basically it's a semi-biblical and more serious take on FOP, where the fairies are angels, anti-fairies are demons and pixies... I think they can stay as pixies, or maybe they're ghosts, bees? (There's a lot of things I still need to figure out) Their tasks are to work as missionaries on the planets of Eden (planets where life exists). There's a bunch of other lore (some of which I've explained on my casual/personal account on Instagram), but it's best I leave it for another time.

Btw: if you've seen me talk about a "Below the Stars AU", "Bible AU", "Ager DLC" or something else, it's all just the same thing. I just had a hard time coming up with a good name for it lol.

Also speaking of which, I have another post coming up (hopefully) where I explain my reasons for shipping Peri and Dale. It can honestly, out of context, seem like a toxic yaoi crack ship, but believe it or not but I managed to make it the opposite; plausible AND healthy. I want to enlighten you all plus I really want to yap about them.

It feels super funny to ship such a underrated ship. I'm used to shipping semi-popular ships, so to now be all alone feels kinda fun! They have so much potential and so few are seeing the vision?? Though to be fair I'm also glad it's not that famous lmao.

Ps. Ignore the fact I haven't posted anything here for at least half-a-year. All my mutuals are on Instagram, so I don't have a need to post here, though now I've decided to dedicate this account to hyperfixation slop so maybe you'll be hearing from me much sooner.

Ps. Ps. I currently have a 22-page-long google doc filled with lore and info about almost everything I've thought of for the AU, but it's 80% in Finnish so sharing it is useless.

Man, I love writing unnecessary long posts knowing I'm the only one reading them❤️😍 though if you HAVE gotten this far, here's a little treat:

My body refuses to draw Dale in his original outfit. I like to pretend Peri helped him change a bit (most notably taking off his goddamn shoes, though they do have some lore that I've created. GGHHRRAAA EVERYTHING HAS LORE ATTACHED TO IT GRRRR). Also Dev isn't actually grumpy, he just likes to act tough.

My art style looks probably so inconsistent❤️

[regretevator-confessions]

"Glevil x Mannequin isn't incest and it is healthy!!! :3"

Please get off the internet!! ^^

If them being made by the company makes them RELATED then they're fucking related.

"Oh but-" No excuses! Also I'm guessing Glevil is connected to the hivemind stuff and Mark felt fucking trapped and useless in it. IF THEY WERE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP IT WOULD BE A DISASTER!!! STOP DEFENDING THIS SHIT! >.<

"B-but what if i like toxic yaoi-" TOXIC YAOI MY ASS! DON'T ROMANTICIZE THIS SHIT. THIS IS CHERBONYL YAOI!! 3:<

"But its fiction-" Fiction my ass too! :3 Its not an exception from being morally incorrect and weird!!!! ^^

How about we all touch grass and burn this ship to the ground- i mean block the tags... Yea! ^^

.

[lockpickingliar]

Listen just listen

I know KomaHina and yada yada that's all well and good but like I feel like there's this KomaHina cast on the KamuKoma content, too and I'm like

No you don't understand. They're supposed to be toxic yaoi. A Despairkink-addicted codependent fail relationship.

The ideal KamuKoma rep I think is like. Servant hating the concept of artificial Talent--because at his core he believe Talent is something that you are Born With and it cannot be made--and thus hating Izuru as the manifestation of that artificiality. But he's been groomed by Junko into Despair-addicted Servantpilled trash so yeah even if he hates it he'll serve Kamukura just as mindlessly as any other Ultimate. Even MORE, even, because what Despair would that be to just devote yourself endlessly to the very manifestation of what you hate? He'd be Kamukura's dog for the Despair of it all.

And on the Kamukura end it's like. He hates everything Servant believes in with regard to Hope and Talent because it's that exact line of Hope-obsessed nonsense that drove HPA to create him in the first place, dooming him to a world of eternal monotony and robbing him of everything that made him feel like a person. And Servant's insitence that Hope is the most important thing pisses him off but it's SUPER satisfying to take all that repressed rage at the hopeful idiots on the steering committee out on this scumbag. If he wants to subscribe to the Talent heirarchy, then sure, Kamukura will HAPPILY enforce that and show him just how low Servant is on the pecking order here.

And it's fucked and messy and filled with so much Despair that somehow is kinky in a very uniquely Despair addict way that I cannot really describe but is also very sad in how if you think about it, they literally have the same beliefs and are falling into this Despair-induced dance for no reason other than absolute misunderstanding because at the crux of it Servant hates the hopeless artificiality of the Kamukura Project and projects that onto Kamukura himself, and Kamukura hates the hopeless dehumanization of the Kamukura Project and projects that onto Servant.

What a mess this shouldn't be healthy why is it hot.

[bunnakit]

4 minutes ep 1 raw reactions

idk if i'm gonna delve too deep into this and do my normal analysis so for now i'll just type up my raw reactions as i'm watching lmao.

the title sequence is fucking stunning, obsessed.

ooh he has a maine coon. rich boy maybe? expensive cat and nice apartment.

i really enjoy that the heartbeat sounds in the elevator scene sound like a heartbeat heard through an ultrasound. very interesting.

but umm. if you're having severe chest pain and trouble breathing please see yourself to the hospital my friend???

oh ok definitely a rich boy, hello fancy car.

AAAAAA BAS, IT'S BAS, LSKJGAI MY LOVE, GOD HE LOOKS SO GOOD

the music in this show is fucking gorgeous but like... also why so dramatic

ok so korn: transport -> investments (secret operation??? tf?) and they want great: university -> transport. got it.

ooh 12:39 okay i see you.

ooh 12:43 ok, 4 minutes, i'm listening.

OH. OH DON'T RUN THO

also like why was there a pedestrian in there???

OH. OK. INTERESTING.

i also hate that great initially ran bc now it's gonna take so much for me to like his char, which i'm sure is the point but still (；′⌒`)

aah. okay. i understand. it seems like she didn't want to do it tho. like yeah maybe suicide but... kinda seemed like suicide under coercion? or some form of intense external pressure.

HOLY SHIT JOB. THEY LET HIM OUT OF THE BE ON CLOUD VAULT. RUN BBY YOU'RE FREE.

HE'S SO THIN??? BBY ARE YOU EATING OKAY? i mean good for him if it was healthy and what he wanted tho.

this other doctor is so fucking hot tho who the fuck are you sir god DAMN. jaw for days.

ooh those dark spots on the ultrasound look like internal bleeding.

OH I'M SO SEXY AND SMART.

sexy doctor why shifty eyed??? i have a weird feeling about him. ok his name is tyme. as of rn we do not trust tyme.

more gorgeous music tho.

oh don't twirl your scissors like a douche.

he's got dead eyes and not much for facial expressions, he's freaking me out.

ew you don't even know your patient's name??? I DO NOT LIKE HIM SAM I AM, I DO NOT LIKE TYME EGGS AND HAM.

ok i dont like tyme but i WOULD like to see him and job's character fuck nasty. i am not immune to yaoi propaganda.

GOD BAS IS SO HOT I CAN'T GET OVER IT. I'VE MISSED HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. i love bible a lot but bas is everything to me. i used to reblog the same picture of him everyday. that's my sweet cheese, my good time boy, my rotten soldier.

oh i don't like this set up tho. this feels human trafficky. or like a no way in no way out. mmmm baby what do y smell is it death? OH LMAO IT'S GAMBLING. same thing kinda.

korn seems sensitive to smells, or maybe just smoke. he's just like me fr.

oooh curly hair girl isn't here to gamble, she's here for info of some kind.

OH BOYFRIEND TIME. OHHH OH I GET TO SEE BAS KISS MEN. LIKE I KNEW BC I SAW THE GIFS WHEN IT FIRST STARTED BUT UGH. I WAS NOT PREPARED. FUCK HE'S SO HOT. I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. HELP.

the fact that he opens up to his boyfriend and talks about his troubles as much as he reasonably can o(T ▽ To)

oh my god get OFF HIM there's no way your refractory period is that short.

not a huge fan of how korn came over, dumped his issues, had sex, and left tho. not great.

obsessed with this asymmetrical collar of great's shirt tho.

yeah i do love that no one fucking asks if great is ok, how he's doing, etc. he just went through something horribly traumatic and he could've been hurt, like. yuck. and his mom seems sweet but the fake sweet, like saccharine.

ooh why does his watch say 11:00??? something's gonna happen, huh.

fuck bas has an fantastic ass. i know we saw it but it somehow looks even better in those pants, my god.

7:13...

ugh i love brothers that can only be (mostly) themselves around each other. i really hope that's the direction this is going. two gorgeous gorgeous men on my screen, just an absolute feast for my eyes.

omg wait. wait. korn doesn't like the smell of cigarettes and he doesn't want great smoking. is there cigarette trauma? or does his dislike of cigarettes come from his concern for his brother's health?

OH facial expressions from tyme!! what a little grandma's boy.

11 am....

exploring the psychological depths of near-death experiences. the '4-minutes' phenomenon.

INCHRESTING. was manee coerced into suicide by someone trying to obtain a real time test subject for this phenomenon???

ooh he took the stairs today.

4th floor... 1:10 (13:10)... room 4... 1:11 (13:11)... ran into tyme outside room 1... at 1:14 (13:14)...

so in theory is each cardiac event he's suffering technically a near-death moment which is triggering the 4 minutes phenomenon where he has an out of body moment where he can see future events???

oooh he ran into him again. perhaps to show some things are simply inevitable?

damn the end sequence is gorgeous too.

fuck. i might be obsessed. uh oh.

god damn it sammon, you got me again.

wait so back to when it was 7:13pm... 19:13... 9+1=10, 3+1=4 so more 1s and 4s ₍ ˶•̀⤙•˶ ₎ hmmm

idk if i'm cooking or burning the kitchen down but i'm excited to find out

[moistrodent]

Would you think it would be better if the new episode was purely Verosika and Blitzø just talking or what we got?

And honestly, the way S2 writes Verosika as supporting a toxic yaoi ship (cough, cough Stoliz cough, cough) is a bit strange and I feel like she should've at least gotten to know the full scope of the toxicity in that relationship instead of blaming Blitzø it like in the past and I know he stole her car/credit card for horse lessons... still, she should've at least not held the grudge for a long time it's not exactly... healthy...

What do you think?

I think Helluva Boss has stopped having characters just talk, there’s some form of inconvenience stopping the characters from actually have a proper conversation like mature adults.

Verosika and Blitzø have a small conversation which I guess is a nice change but the rest of it is bullshit, I wish an episode would happen where characters would just work out their problems.

And Verosika forgiving Blitzø in a very short conversation…I’m sorry she threw a yearly party and generally fucking hated him WHY DID SHE FORGIVE HIM SO QUICKLY?

Overall, Apology Tour would have been better if it was a normal conversation between Verosika.

[cushfuddled]

Thank you so much for speaking up about Sherlock & Co because I very nearly got tricked by the "sooooooo canon!!" buzz. I guess it's been long enough for tumblr to get amnesia about TJLC. As Holmes-inspired stuff goes, back to my toxic yaoi House/Wilson rewatch I guess. That might be bait but what a tasty bucket of chum.

Thanks for the ask! Hope you don't mind a rant haha! This got me all fired up because AUGH, the memories!

I think the thing that frustrates me most is that from my brief stint in the Sherlock & Co tag, it looks like we're STILL at the point as a fandom (and a culture, I guess) where it's socially acceptable to claim it's MORE progressive for Sherlock and John to NOT be gay.

I was on the Sherlock BBC train by the winter of 2010, and I watched this argument evolve in real time from the don't-ask-don't-tell "being gay is fine but don't shove it in my face" fish into the faux-progressive "our culture is so oversexualized that modeling healthy, intimate male friendships is more important than canon gay rep" land mammal abomination. The fact that both these arguments land queer fans and creators in the same gilded cage kinda gives the game away: Queer relationships are fine...so long as they stay out of sight and out of mind. A gay side character can be forgiven, but the main characters must remain staunchly platonic lest the Gay Sex Stuff poison an otherwise pure, healthy, and culturally aspirational friendship.

Even queerplatonic relationships are seen as deviant. Other erroneous character details are sprinkled around for flavor, but any clarification on ace or aro relationships are treated as unnecessary at best and burdensome at worst—like a detour which would weigh down the story. It's the "ew gay cooties" fire poker approach in a utilitarian hat: If people can't label the queer content regressive in some way, then it's framed as extraneous to the narrative. Suddenly the plot becomes a perfect crystal, compounded and polished until all but the most vital story beats remain. Of course silly relationship details wouldn't penetrate this barrier of Pure Plot.

Except that's a total fabrication. These stories always make time for extraneous gags and flings and miscellaneous side quests. They nurture long-form friendships and rivalries under short-form plots. And creators are happy to play jump rope with the canon material right up until queerness enters the chat. They play it off like their hands are tied re: canonicity and relevance when really they just...don't want to make their characters queer. Which is perfectly fucking fine. I just wish more fans and creators were able to go "eh, I like these two as best friends and nothing else, so that's what I wrote" rather than make value judgements on people who WOULD prefer a canon queer relationship.

I haven't seen any kind of hand-wringing bullshit from the Sherlock and Co. creators as of yet, which gives me hope they'll just be honest about their preferences when the time comes (rather than try and spin their adaptation as something revolutionary in its platonic approach).

Like you said...It's also hard to watch a new round of fans rally their hopes around a Sherlock Holmes adaptation. My gut has absolutely led me astray before, but as far as I'm concerned, the Sherlock and Co. vibes are a world away from canon Jonklock. It's a great podcast and I'm sure it'll continue to accumulate fans. But it's not gonna be Gay. And I would loveeee to see people take that at face value I guess.