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ganondoodle · 4 months ago

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got this reblog on one of my posts were i talked about being anxious about the future of the zelda series after totk and-

i even went back and unblocked them just to check my own post and check twice what they meant exactly- but i still dont know how they got to these conclusions

i never said i 'want a good uwu ganondorf' (bc that would mean hes aligned with hyrule bc thats how goodness works!!!!11!1!!!), i also dont think of any of the zeldas as 'whores' (seriously, where did that come from?? neither me nor the addition of someone agreeing with me said anything like that??? did they think bc the addition called tloz misogynistic means we think zelda is a whore????? huh???)

its also funny how they say they want zelda to stay a simple fairytale rather than have 'people like me' bc .. one point i talked about in the og post was how the evil arab thing VS good white people media likes to do so much is so normalized here that its simply seen as a simple harmless fairytale trope instead of a big underlying issue in general media and the writers might not even realize it (which is worse) bc the most 'generic' appeal is to people who dont think of it as a problem in the first place, because it is so normalized

(huh, i wonder about what kind of person that part was about .. hmmmm)

(ALSO funny they mention princess hilda as nuanced villain ... like ... wow they are so nuanced about purple haired people!!- like guess why we want a nuanced/less badly/less flat written ganondorf and what he, in particular, has not in common with other villains! its not his hair color! .... or was that point supposed to mean .. look we have one female character that is a villain, its not misogynistic! idk honestly)

(and the classic, "you just call it this/dont like it bc its not what you wanted !!!!!!!2!"1!112!!")

also funny how its 'never gonna be progressive enough' like asking for the franchise to maybe put a little more thought and nuance into their white divine right vs evil desert man simulator instead of making it worse is already asking too much

(i dont know what the last point has to do with anything??)

(also yes totk is racist, like most if not all of the franchise and a alot of other media as well, shocker- you can still like it though, i and plenty of other people are still fans of it, we just wish they did a little more with their stuff and maybe not make the racism problem WORSE)

(also yes the hyrule monarchy is also evil :))) )

(and also not so secretly so either :)) )

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #ganondorf #wanted to search my blog for the post at first and tumblr showed me two posts and their reblogs #i have so many more posts in this tag #the fuck #.....im sorry to all the zelink shippers with a brain but i cant say im surprised that they were one #i could go through every point in their addition but tbh its not worth any more of my time really #needed to say something though bc .....#yeah no wonder nintendy dont have to put any work into their story if thats how some people react to mild criticism of it lol #who are you fighting for little man?#defending the big corporation from mild criticism from people that want the media they produce to be better??#....... in the end i kinda did go into every point #or what point i thought they were trying to make which ... was rather unclear to me #anyway #wild to come across people like that here #only had one other i can remember but they went straight to insults lol #(was there ever a divine prophecy that said only gan can be king??? how was urbosa or riju on the throne then??-#(wait was that meant as “see? the gerudo have the divine right thing too!! samey as hyrule so they not bad!!”#i am genuinely so confused

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softcryz · 6 months ago

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WE'RE MAKING IT THROUGH THIS ARTFIGHT I PROMISE

https://artfight.net/~SOFT_CRYBABY

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peridots-pixiwolf · 10 months ago

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[Start ID. A redraw of the official icons of the ten named slugcats from Rain World, arranged in two rows: Survivor, Monk, Hunter, Nightcat, and Gourmand in the first, Artificer, Rivulet, Spearmaster, Saint and Enot/Inv in the second. Each is drawn in roughly the same pose as in the original art and fitted with speculative interpretations of their biology, and the second image is a “dead” version of this. For example, all ten have slug-like rhinophores in place of ears, cuttlefish-like colorful eyes with strangely-shaped pupils, cephalopod-like beak "teeth", expressive barbels or oral tentacles at the corners of mouths, spiny radulas, and the frilly mantle fringes of sea slugs, though otherwise their faces are squishy, simple and mammalian-shaped.

Cream-colored Survivor and yellow Monk both share triangular, bicolored spots matching their eyes (which are tan and brown, and two shades of blue, respectively), small, bumpy fringes, and relatively neutral looks on their faces. Defensive-looking Hunter is mostly a dull orange-pink, though their blobby fringe is a more violent red and their back is purple and marred with lumps. Nightcat is navy blue and flecked with dots of yellow and teal, their rolled rhinophores are a lighter blue, and their shading fractures into stars in some places. Gourmand is almost uniformly tan, their wide, very ruffly white mantle fringe bordered by a spray of white spots, and their beak sticks out from either corner of their smile. Primarily red Artificer, snarling, has yellow markings of multiple sorts, a prominent yellow dewlap and their characteristic dark scar taking out a chunk of its face. Rivulet is a darker blue than usual, with long barbels, red gills and rings, countershading, and a cheerful expression, sticking out their radula. Spearmaster is purple with orange accents, eyes and spots, a large fringe and spines down their back. Saint’s green caryophyllidia are marked by small, yellow diamonds, and their long, thin radula extends far below them. Enot is decorated with mottled red stripes, blue patches, yellow stars, and an uneven and almost cartoonish imitation of blush, though generally the same deep blue as Nightcat, a passive or almost slightly smug look on their face and their rolled rhinophores out to either side.

In the second image, nine of the slugcats’ eyes are crossed out, indicating that these are death icons. They look fairly the same, with mostly expression differences. Survivor is caught in the beginning of a threat display, a karma flower sprouts from Monk’s side, Hunter is burdened with overgrowing, purple and blue rot, Nightcat’s rhinophores are pinned back, and Gourmand looks mildly disheartened. For the final row, Artificer bites its radula between small plumes of smoke, Rivulet drops their expression, Spearmaster looks very startled, Saint looks almost entirely the same besides half-open eyes and their markings greater in number, and Enot grins confusedly. End ID]

If you'll excuse the unusually lengthy ID: the arena meme introduced by @pansear-doodles at long last after a nearly year-long wip status (or, rather, finished a month ago today to honor my own first time playing it!)

Design notes and shout-outs under cut! :]

The following people are some of those who’ve inspired my designs most since I started this eight months ago (or just inspired me to get a little weirder with slugcat biology), among many others for sure, and I thank them for it–but this is simply to bring attention to artists I find cool, and in no way an obligation to interact or anything :]

> @saturncoyote , @carpsoup , @charseraph , @gallusgalluss , @bitsbug , @dopscratch , and @0hmanit (and a special mention to dddeerbo and hunterlonglegs, who’ve since deactivated)!

Survivor: Surprisingly the hardest to pin down the colors for, since nothing with its sibling's palette seemed to match up right (I did have to add in a little blue somewhere for Monk, the beginning of making it clear how much I’m simply going based off of vibes for the colors of scug innards). I consider them, Monk and Gourmand to be part of the same gene pool of slugcats, and even possibly the same colony even if the latter isn't really related, so took a bit of Gourmand's coloring and fit them in with their inspiration: Goniobranchus verrieri. They serve as a bit of an introduction to my ideas of scug traits (i find it really fun how many people have thought to add so many silly sluglike fixtures of biology completely independent of me, buuut here I’m mostly talking about species variation), and like in-game they’re pretty average! They, Monk and Hunter have a couple scars sourced from a piece of Joar's concept art that I'm failing to find, those across the bridge of the nose, under the eyes, and across the rhinophores, respectively, and my Survivor interpretation features many on the back of the neck, as a result of survived lizard bites.

Monk: Their coloring is primarily based off the fact that I associate them with blue fruits, honestly, a bit because I was compelled to establish a familiarity with Rivulet, and lastly inspired by the spots of Goniobranchus kuniei (and geminus, less important to me as one of my characters is a kuniei instead, but more fitting). Between the yellow + blue and the circular marking in the center of their face, they’re meant to bear a little resemblance to an iterator that shares similarities with the characterization I’ve given them, and similar coding of her sibling can be seen on Survivor’s markings around the eyes. As both a “default” slugcat and one whose campaign I haven’t played, though, I can’t say I have much more to point out about em.

Hunter: The whole rot thing made for a really fun time drawing them, and while the color change on their back is a result of this, it’s also an excuse to relate them to Babakina festiva, arguably my favorite sea slug (mostly for sentimental purposes). And to Spearmaster, a fellow messenger slugcat, and it serves as a gradient between Hunter’s pink and the “traditional” color of Rot seen in the DLLs. Aside from their affliction, they’d actually be the plainest in terms of design, as they don’t have any patterns or quirks of body type, just the red + purple and strange lumps + possible malnutrition. I can’t remember if NSH had created them in particular or just...caught + released or something, but it probably wouldn’t be strange for a lab-grown slugcat to be simple like that.

Gourmand: Like the two above, they’re rather plain in terms of coloring and adaptation, and like the two above, I find that fun. I decided it would be nice to avert the “all slugcats being of the same body type, and Gourmand’s out of place as the exception” thing by just...adding more fat to all of them, really. I did want to emphasize their sheer bulk even so, both fat and muscular (not like I couldn’t have still gone further with it, of course, but slugcat anatomy can be a little obfuscating sometimes, and they were intended to look rather plush considering personal size headcanons and therefore the lack of proper gravity), and the thick and flounced mantle looked like a good addition, as per their sea slug Glossodoris hikuerensis. Unlike Survivor and Monk, I didn’t attempt to hold their resemblance to any particular other character (which means a little less to balance out the “default gene pool” thing), so those are all the design notes I have for em.

Artificer: The second slugcat I’ve ever played, or finished the campaign of, my favorite for at least a long time, and the first thing I did was give them yellow accents, the shape of which have troubled me slightly (not quite like the spots or stripes of the others). They’re both a little more appealing and more explosive-looking to me, and considering how early on I played Arti, actually present in some of my older art. It does give them a little resemblance to Saint (completely intentional, two slugcats with strange relations to karma), as well as the fact that its radula is green for familiarity with one of its children (at some point it was going to have all-green markings, even!). I’m generous with their scars, partly because it was fun to overemphasize the one on their face and partly because it does seem like a reckless slugcat, on top of the dangers of its explosive abilities–I’ll probably just keep adding more forever. Mostly-red sea slugs aren’t too common, but Hexabranchus sanguineus works for sure. The ridged, yellow dewlap can expand for combustion purposes, or something along those lines. Arti’s where I began experimenting with a lot of the mildly-offkilter features seen in my interpretation of slugcats, as they’ve once again been a favorite from the start.

Rivulet: I've obviously given other slugcats spots, deeply enjoy the bubbly-soda markings of other peoples' slugcats, and thought seal riv would be cute. Despite not too closely resembling it, they've been government-assigned Hypselodoris bennetti, for color reasons and for a couple sentimental ones. Originally, the colors of every scug were meant to match up with the custom colors I gave them at the beginning of their campaigns, (though Arti, Gourm and Spearmy are the only three who actually apply here, since I've only played through half the slugcats: I gave arti the yellow as mentioned above, gourm brown eyes and spearmy light pink spears, furthered by the outskirts pearl accompanying me and that palette all the way to moon. Tolerance training for eternity in hell cause I already knew about the maroon pearl quest). I initially gave them the colors of the bi flag for fun... but with the limited palette of this image, I was left without pink for a while and decided to see how they'd look in red. I then realized how they now wonderfully matched Moon, and besides, red's a sort of camouflage in deep water! As a side-note, the difference between their eyes and those of others always bothered me a little for anatomical purposes, and the cephalopod eyes were probably influenced by this!

Spearmaster: Inspired as much as possible by @notyourfunnyman ’s wonderful spearmy: designed in a way that helps it fit in with scavengers, at least between the long sensory tentacles, big ruff, back spines and slightly thin/distended anatomy, a form of defensive mimicry. I always had annulate rhinophores in mind, for a little diversity sure, but mostly because the shape reminds me of radio antennae and communication towers (seems fitting for the comms array and being a messenger slugcat)! I started searching for a real-life slug to give them just by looking up their rhinophore shape...and was met immediately and coincidentally with annulate-topped nudibranchs that fit them more perfectly than I could've imagined: Flabellina and surrounding clades, I think Paraflabellina ischitana works very nicely. The orange was completely unplanned, but there wasn’t a place for light pink among the other slugcats’ palettes, and importantly it likens them to both Hunter and Seven Red Suns a little more.

Saint: I am very much a non-furred slugcat enjoyer, with respect to those who aren’t, so figuring out the only visibly furred slugcat was an interesting challenge. I’ve decided that they likely have other, milder adaptations for help in the cold, mainly just more efficient fat storage, and what looks vaguely like fur is instead a bunch of tubercles (called caryophillia, for the second reminder out of three). Their inspiration doesn’t have these, however, Miamira sinuata’s numerous yellow and blue spots (not to mention...whatever’s going on with that shape) and general effect of being the only really green nudibranch I could find were probably perfect for a strange green echo. Not pictured, but their beak-teeth are tiny and flat to make a surface for grinding soft food against with the lack of a functioning radula, which is tipped with a specialized spiny “grapple-hook” for better traction/grip (not to mention the numerous little teeth running down the whole thing).

(Best part of hiding this under a readmore means edits will be seen by all reblogs, I'm mostly sure, because I completely forgot to mention! The spots on their forehead are simple eyes. Their camera eyes appear closed in-game, I like to believe their complex eyesight is rather poor anyways or otherwise reason that they aren't seeing out of those, and while this was far from her REASON for attunement with the world, it does help compensate for mainly viewing it through a canvas of simple light and dark. This, and the fact that their swapped-out "fur" is not only to commit to a lack of hairs but contributes to sensory input!)

Nightcat/Enot: I guess you could say I found the “these two are technically the same person” compelling. (E.g. similar colors, both very strange and enigmatic, and Enot/Inv/Sofanthiel’s remark during the dating sim about getting removed from Arena Mode.) I doubt they’re the only two slugcats in their body, considering humans with DID tend to have more than a few (and I find it very funny that a slugcat bearing resemblance to Nightcat appears in Gourmand’s ending. They’re allowed in the colony and Enot isn’t </3), and I have to credit @faelingdraws ’s art for being what convinced me on it! Their design inspirations come down to trying to balance a few different ideas: making the patterns and palettes of both look oddly similar (special mention to the stars, since those are fun to draw), basing them off of Felimare sechurana and juliae respectively, using blocks of color with the same placement as in Enot’s official art, and specifically making Enot look...biologically reasonable and imperfect, whilst also clearly trying to imitate human displays of emotion (what with...the eyes and blush on that one piece of official art).

Lastly, here’s just a lineup with notes on body shape and size. Most of the nicknames (existing to give a little more space, that’s all) are obvious, and while I can’t remember why I shortened Nightcat to Nox, it is in honor of my friend by the same nickname :]

#survivor rain world #monk rain world #hunter rain world #nightcat rain world #gourmand rain world #artificer rain world #rivulet rain world #spearmaster rain world #saint rain world #enot rain world #slugcat rain world #rain world #peridots-art #< feels like too long since that last tag's been used. i can say with certainty that the majority of the reason i haven't been just as #active here (not to mention not drawing as often since that's relevant) is just due to my life getting busier with a new school year but i #do miss putting my stuff here! and would like to reblog more on top of that.... so forgive not remembering exactly how to tag everything #(and how to write everything up there but to be fair it's not like long textposts were a staple of mine. i mostly just rambled and it was #fun hehehe.....some of those notes (parts of riv/spears mostly) were written around the beginning of the drawing itself)#OH i messed something up with the drafting and really did not mean to post it while tags were in progress! but regardless. i would've liked #to post it tomorrow to mirror how i was going to post it on JAN 29 a month ago......but it's not like i'm unhappy with this outcome :]#to sum it up really though it's been strange working on this for so long.....unfortunate to not get a chance to let it be seen and keep #experimenting with odd biology much earlier but i'm just glad it's out now cause i am proud of these!! it's been a lot of fun and slugcats #are still my go-to doodles :] if i had to end this off promptly though what's up with that secret pipeyard shelter as gourm that's not on #the maps. connected to vs_a04. doesn't appear on the miraheze or interactive maps for anyone strangely but i've only been there as gourmand #anyway! i'm sure there's a lot i could've said in the rush but goodbye dear reader anyway :]#i forgot spearmy initially. i'm so sorry #peridots-described #< NOOOO THAT DOESNT SHOW UP THERE'RE TOO MANY TAGSS.......

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khihi · 7 months ago

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if you dislike rpf and think a normal response to someone just having fun with rpf is to steal their hard work and paste it on a more public platform where the real people in question are more likely to see it then i don't think there's much help for you, i think you're probably just addicted to performative morality and are more of an asshole than you realise

#joost klein #putting it on the main tag because i know some of you who are like this lurk here apparently :)#did you know it's so easy to keep scrolling and backlist content and block people!!!! and guess what!!!! it's also free!!!!#listen it takes a lot to rile me up but not only are you an art theif stealing from people with more talent than you have in your pinky #you're also just a dick !#i sure hope you're a child who learned all their morality from tiktok because if you're an adult going around like this then. jfc.#sorry followers and moots etc i am piiiissed offfff rn

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marcelineuntitled · 5 months ago

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fanart for This Is Not The End by @kings-highway

potentially my favourite fic ever!! <3

#my art #uh i am so sorry but i'm gonna tag you in a few more posts also because #i keep getting inspired to draw stuff by your writings #this took SO long but i finished it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at last!!!!!!!!!!!!#those fence posts are my mortal enemies but at least they're done now #really glad i actually stuck with this #i started it three weeks ago!!#hm anyway i'm really really in love with this fic like seriously - if it was a published book i would buy it so so fast #everytime a new chapter drops i just go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then message my friend to yell about it <3 #haikyuu #haikyuu fanart #haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart #this is not the end #right so; in order:#azumane asahi #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #kuroo tetsurou #takeda ittetsu #ukai keishin #ushijima wakatoshi #i put too many tags before and it deleted them nooooo i forgot what i said- oh! it was about starting this when only 3 chapters were out #and now there's so many characters which i haven't drawn here but i want to draw at some point so probably will okay loveyou bye <3

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lyculuscaelus · 3 months ago

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Day 6941 of pondering over Odysseus’s hair color again. Dark will forever live rent free in my head but red is gorgeous and brown is so commonly accepted and auburn as a mixture is beloved but then dark is still living rent free in my head…

Basically, depending on how you interpret the color of ξανθός (xanthos, for his hair) and κυάνεος (kyaneos, for his beard) to be

#tagamemnon #the odyssey #greek mythology #odysseus #homer’s odyssey #the iliad #homer’s iliad #Homer literally went like: Xanthos! Ok I’ll leave it to yall #textbook interpretation for xanthos is “yellow/golden” but you know how “cursed” the image of a blonde Odysseus is?#not that I hate it it’s just that it’s a spectrum covering more shades than merely “yellow”#but what would you do with a spectrum?#have his hair changing colors or smth?#his beard is easier to decide cuz kyaneos is dark indeed #but xanthos doesn’t go into the spectrum of “dark”. It’s lighter as in shade #besides his hair doesn’t necessarily have to go like his beard cuz they could have different colors according to genetics #although…could you imagine an auburn-haired Odysseus with a dark beard?#that’s probably the closest design to this description that I can imagine #but then iirc xanthos being used for auburn hair is quite late as in Romans’ times?#but then Homer is not being any useful here since xanthos is quite a broad term so accuracy doesn’t even matter in this case #why am I putting these in the tags I have no kriffing idea #Lyculī crustula

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wannabe-minion-of-chaos · 2 months ago

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Don't mind me just

Smacks Gregory over the head with burnt out gifted kid syndrome™

#am i self projecting?#nooooo #okay maybe a little #but just hear me out i could do a whole ass ramble about how this could work #Gregory putting a fuckton of pressure on himself to be perfect to uphold the reputation of the 4.0 gpa hes oh so proud of #so hes determined to be perfect at everything even if that means overworking himself to achive the results #you could even make the argument that his parents expect him to be some sort of prodigy or smth if you wanna go that route #so because of their expectations or (what he interprets as) the expectations of his peers he just puts more pressure on himself and #FUCKKK SOMEONE TELL HIM ITS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES PLEASE PLEA SE #ack sorry im rambling here but yeee #i guess you could say they have great expecta-💥💥💥#okay now im done #sorry if this ramble seems ooc or smth just #hell yeahhh pushing my feelings onto a fictional character to cope :'D #South park #south park headcanon #i need to make a tag for my own headcanons tbh #Gregory of yardale #sp gregory #sp foreign kids

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forbiddentaako · 5 months ago

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more monochrome practice I suppose

#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey #so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes #i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet #but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that #honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin #but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train #bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of #their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so #making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but #like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl #love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but #they still love and care about each other and will never lose that #this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many #tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops #anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions #lucilith #hazbin hotel #lilith morningstar #lilith hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lilith #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lilith

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surreal-duck · 1 year ago

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live drama adaptations (1/?)

(next)

#doodles #duck scribbles #minicomic tag #midoyuzu #sorry not really in this one but it leads up to it i promise #(tori does not tell him)#yuzumido #tori himemiya #yuzuru fushimi #midori takamine #enstars #lazier than my usual minicomics but GOD this week has been absolute hell for me this alone took too much out of me #but im hanging in there (i am Really Not) (pretend i am) (im fine) (lying)#ignore the bad manga title i really didnt know what to do w it i almost left it as ''some manga/drama''#nobodys asking but plot of the manga is a romcom drama between 2 cafe workers. side chara/love rival initially is set up to be going after #the FL but has actually been in love w the ML the whole time (i put too much thought into this for no reason)#anyways tori reads the manga himself after the revelation #i think abt yuzuru getting acting jobs a lot more post togenkyo often and here we are

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pinkinsect · 5 months ago

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if you're still doing femlock reqs.... could u do aryu or chigiri

couldn't choose so i did both... i put them in yukata for further display of their unique types of boyslay

#chigiri is wearing a women's yukata but it's patterened and colored in a way that's more similar to a men's yukata #and aryu is wearing a men's yukata that's pattered and colored the way a women's yukata would traditionally be #in chigiri official arts they like to put him in more nontraditionally patterned men's yukata or kimono so i thought id do the opposite in #this. also something yurious might be happening here idk. i think that aryu is a lover of those with boyslay.#my art #chigiri hyouma #aryu jyubei #femlock #femlock chigiri #femlock aryu #answered #tenedorcito #i was going to tag this with your bllkblr name and then realized that might put you in my snuffy tag.#y'know what. you deserve it.#marcsnuffy #anyway. i forgot to add but aryu is a goth girl (''girl'') who is masc in a goth guy way. gender goal is 90s atsushi sakurai. y'know.#i am NOT cutting fem (''fem'') aryu's hair! but it would be styled a little bit. layers and a little messier

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 1 year ago

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it does something incomprehensible to my little writer’s soul whenever alex articulates a phenomenon of the writing process i’ve always picked up on and then goes on to describe it in exactly the same way

#when i first heard him say this when i was watching the interview i legit had to pause the video for a moment #because it was like he’d actually taken my words straight out of my mouth #literally for years i’ve been fascinated by the little timeless pocket between dusk and dawn where there’s so much freedom #to explore creativity uninhibited and unobserved and without fear of consequence #the way it allows you to create things almost as if they don’t really exist #or like the rest of the world doesn’t #and the magic of that freedom #like if you create things on the cusp of dreams it’s almost as if they don’t count #they’re liberated from any usual self doubt or self criticism that invades the imaginative space during the daylight #why am i making myself sound like a creative vampire 😭#i’m going to stop rambling in the tags now sorry #i fear absolutely none of this makes sense #kudos to anyone who’s read the whole way through this #the gist of what i’m trying to say is that it’s such a special feeling when someone whose writing you adore and connect to so much #puts into words elements of the process that have always resonated with you #and this is just one example too #right i’m going to stop rambling now #but one last thing before i go #on a more superficial note: can we appreciate how softly spoken and soft fluffy haired he is here?? 🥺#alex turner #humbug era #arctic monkeys #alex vid #lulu posts

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some-pers0n · 6 months ago

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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist

#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags #Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up #How something like that can exist completely defies me #I don't know how something that perfect can exist #I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships #Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level #Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist #They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves #They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever #The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it #If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN #Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar #They think and exist on the same wavelength #In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires #If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day #I just can't...believe the ship exists #Like man how does this happen #You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions #You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it #Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff #I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance #They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much #They would do anything for each other #I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is #I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun #Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters #Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them #especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons #sp-rambles

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giantkillerjack · 7 months ago

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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

#social skills #i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag #original #maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title #in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am #challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment #for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the #most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than #most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny #(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by #being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating #i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate #I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to #really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would #go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people #it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them #stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in #order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially #autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules #and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules #but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too

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