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ladylooch · 2 years ago

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Another Round of Me and You- Adrian Kempe

A/N: I've been trying to write out this idea for about 4 months now. I think I've written this concept out three or four different times and finally one stuck. So, before I talk myself out of this one, I'm posting it! Happy 2023!

Warnings: Mature Themes (18+) It's not really smut, it's more so for some of the words that are used. Adrian is a dick. Angst. Swearing.

Summary: Friends with benefits totally works out with your ex... until it doesn't.

Word Count: 4.8k

“We need to talk.”

The words fly out of my boyfriend’s mouth before I can even register that he’s back from Edmonton. The Kings just lost in the first round of the playoffs after a hard fought series. A game 7 L that feels more devastating after clawing their way back into hopeful territory.

“Hi.” I shake my head, confused, stepping aside for him to walk into my apartment. Besides his opening remarks, his knock at the door is strange. He’s had a key for the last year and usually uses that to enter without waking me.

Adrian steps in, hands stuffed into the pants of his designer suit. His cheeks are tight with tension. I walk towards where he is standing, looking out the window of my living room. It’s dark and there isn’t much to see now, but in the daylight, the Pacific Ocean glitters in slices between the buildings across the street. I reach for his back, rubbing a comforting hand along his wide shoulders. He pulls away from my touch. Awareness of his mood shifts my body to prepare for fight or flight.

“I don’t think you should come to Sweden with me this off-season.”

I’m taken aback. We have been planning this since January. Everything was ready to go. We signed a month to month lease. Rented a car. The company I freelance for knew I wasn’t taking assignments until September. All we had to do was get on the plane.

“What? Why?” I ask.

“It doesn’t feel like the right step for us.” His stance is rigid as he speaks.

“Can you look at me?” I ask, trying to lace our fingers together to pull him my way. He removes his fingers immediately. “I’m confused.” I shake my head at him.

“It feels like we are on different pages and want different directions for things. I have so much more I need to do in my career and you want marriage and babies and I don’t want any of those things right now.”

“Okay…” I trail off. “I don’t need any of those things right now. As long as you see that in your future, we can wait until the time is right for both of us.”

“I don’t.” His voice is harsh as he finally turns towards me. “I don’t want to get married. I don’t want to have kids. I want to compete at a high level without any distraction off the ice. We lost tonight because my head wasn’t where it needed to be.” I blink in disbelief.

“Are you… blaming the loss on me?” Everything about this conversation is coming completely out of left field. I feel like I’ve been slapped across the face by him or reality or something else I can’t put words to.

“No, but it was a wake up call about what I really want and it’s a Cup. That’s it. That is all I have the capacity to want at this stage in my life. And I don’t think it’s fair for you to come to Sweden knowing I can’t give you the things I thought I wanted.”

“A, I think it’s just been an emotional day. Let’s go to bed. We can talk more in the morning.”

“I can’t stay. I’m leaving for Sweden tomorrow night… without you.” He won’t even look at me as he speaks of his changed plans. Coward.

“So, you just decided all of this and came here to tell me after the fact?” The hurt presses my voice into a tight vice.

“I just… I can’t give you what you need.”

“You’re wrong.” The conviction in my voice is powerful despite the obvious wavering of my words. “And you’re not even trying to. You’re just giving up.”

“Because I know I don’t want this with you.” His words suck the air from the room. I stare at his face, willing his eyes to me. It takes a moment, but when our gazes connect, I can see the decisiveness in his features. I purse my lips, trying to suppress the sob gripping my chest.

He grabs his keys from his pocket, unhooking my apartment key from the ring. He walks to the kitchen counter, setting the gold metal on it. The clink of contact might as well be my heart shattering on the wood floor beneath my feet. My confusion lifts completely. This is real. This is happening.

“Baby, don’t do this. Don’t go. Please.” The tears melt into my throat making it hard to breathe. “Just stay.” I have to try one last time.

He pauses at the door, contemplating, hesitating. My heavy breathing fills the space between us.

“I don’t want this.” He insists to me, but his words barely reach my ears with how hard they shake coming through his lips.

The soft click of the door allows two years to go up in smoke.

^ ^ ^

I don’t see Adrian again for months.

Somehow, life continued on.

The sun rose and set on 138 days. A whole off-season passes until the oppressive California heat begins to release it’s grip on us. When I bump into him on a random, downtown street in September, we share a few casual ‘how are yous’, with loaded and stolen glances, then continue on the separate ways we were heading. I thought that was it, but a knock sounded at my apartment door a few hours later. Against my better judgement, I allow him in for one drink. It only took a brush of his arm against mine to throw caution to the wind and dive back into the tumultuous sea of his desire.

From there, the fuck buddy arrangement began. Full of hot nights, cold morning sheets, and a roller coaster of trying to move on and hold on all at once. I know at any time I could take back control, step out of the chaos. But the thought of losing him completely keeps me here, wrapped in his arms with his lips on my neck.

“Mmm, you smell like vanilla. Makes it tough to smell pastries without getting hard.” He nuzzles his nose deeper into my neck before sucking the slice of skin into his mouth. His erection strains against his zipper as I grind my hips into him. “This road trip was so long.” He groans to me, shifting so I straddle him fully on my couch. His hands grip the hem of my shirt, lifting it off me. “Only wanted to be back here with this view.”

I bite my lip, allowing his words to steep into the scars marring my heart. If I close my eyes and focus to the sound of desire in his voice, I can almost pretend that I’m really his. That his words hold something more than a physical need.

“It was a long one.” I finally agree with him. I reach around for the hooks clasping my bra together. Adrian swats my fingers away to do it himself. As the band releases, he buries his face between my ample breasts. I sigh, bringing my hand up to his long locks and threading my fingers through the soft strands. “Was I your first stop?”

“Yeah, after coffee.” He grins, nodding his head to my forgotten mermaid latte from Lucky 7.

“Kinda weird seeing you in daylight.” I say as I pull his t-shit over his head. I toss it to the floor behind me. “You look good in the sunshine.” He leans forward, enclosing his lips over my nipple. I grip the back of his neck as he works the bud over with this tongue. He pulls back, still enclosing it in his mouth with a delightful suckling. His blue eyes meet mine filled with a need we both want to satisfy.

“So do you.” He whispers, breath dancing across my taunt nipple. The light shines the perfectly pink bud in a glow that we both admire.

“As good as a game winning goal in OT?” I muse to him.

“You watched my game?” He asks, pausing his kisses along my collar bone. I give a single nod that brushes my temple against his. His lips stretch into a smile against my skin. “Thought you were over hockey?”

“Guess not.” I shrug. “We going to keep chatting or are you going to use these thighs for something bad?” He chuckles as I squeeze his thighs between mine.

“We can be done, but let’s go to bed. I want to slam that headboard against the wall until Brian bangs back for us to stop.”

“We told him that wouldn’t happen again.” I remind him as he lifts me up.

“Yeah and he told you he was done smoking weed in his apartment with the windows closed. I can smell it now, so fuck him.”

I throw my head back and laugh. My long time neighbor, Brian, had come stomping over in his robe during our last hook up, banging on my door. I had opened up after his persistent pounding with Adrian hot on my heels ready to throw hands. Both Brian and I had made concessions for the betterment of our communal living, but it looks like we both ended up making promises we can’t keep

“I’d much rather fuck you.” I murmur to Adrian as he tilts his chin up to me with a cocky smirk.

“Better get to it then.” He lays me against the bed then thrusts his legs into the bed, causing the headboard to smack against the wall loudly. I clasp my hand over my mouth and giggle.

How could I give this up again?

Following a few dunks into the abyss, and a hostile visit from Brian, Adrian and I are laying in bed, sweaty and satisfied. I give his chest a kiss before rolling over, heading to my attached bathroom for a brief visit. After, I open the door to the view of his bare chest and tattoos peaking out from my blue comforter. I lick my lips, glancing at the clock and wishing we had time for another round before my night plans. But, if I’m going to be anywhere near presentable, I need to get in the shower soon.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been seeing my friend’s coworker, Kyle. I agreed on a particularly lonely night when Adrian was on the road, posting Instagram stories where I could clearly see high heels and long blonde extensions. I felt sick to my stomach and looked for the closest bottle of wine, and friend, to feel better. She suggested Kyle. Texting him helped me forget about Adrian and who might be with him in his Ritz Carlton hotel room. Despite that, I’ve felt guilty about not telling Adrian. Now, Kyle and I are about to have our sixth date. He’s a sweet man, with a steady 9-5 job who calls and texts when he says he will, who wants marriage and babies and a bungalow on a quiet street. I could see a future with him. I can’t say that about the man in my bed.

“Want to order in and do that a few more times?” Adrian muses as I wander back to join him in bed. I lay on my stomach, chin perched on his chest. His fingers drag along my bare back. They travel inches lower to tease along the curve of my ass. He wants another round too.

“Um, I can’t. I have plans tonight.”

“Blow them off.”

“No.” I say to him. He wrinkles his nose at my defiance. “We are going to Radici. I’ve been dying to try it.”

“Radici? That’s kind of fancy for a Tuesday night.”

“Well, it’s a date so…” I trail off, tracing squiggly lines onto his pec. I hold my breath, eyes focusing on his skin, too unsure to meet his gaze.

“Oh. First?” His tone is filled with uncertainty.

“No.” I murmur, hesitantly drawing out the word.

“Oh.” This one is flat, void of any emotion.

My blue eyes dance up his chest to meet his gaze. His expression is purposefully blank. Unbothered. Detached. An instant flip from the warmth I felt when he watched me across the room moments ago. He rolls his eyes towards the ceiling. With a clear of his throat he begins to move, so I shift off of him.

“Cool, I should go anyway.”

“Okay.” I say, grabbing the comforter and pulling it up to cover my body.

He is quiet as he dresses. My gaze is watchful on his face.

What I want to see, I couldn’t tell you. All I know is it’s not there.

^ ^ ^

At dinner, my blue eyes dance across the full cheeks of Kyle as he excitedly tells me about a story from high school. His expression is full of life and enjoyment as he laughs loudly, finishing his beach volleyball story by admitting he flashed the whole beach because his swim shorts fell off his hips. He has brown eyes that dance with interest as he listens to my laugh.

“I think we can all commiserate with swimsuit mishaps in the teenage years. Why did nothing ever seemed to fit right?”

“Yeah, I wish that was the only time that happened.” He admits. “The second time was a little more fun though.”

“Scandalous too?” I catch his insinuation that it may have been during a passionate moment.

“Definitely.”

“Who knew civil engineers could be so naughty.”

“Stick around and you can find out.” His boldness has me bitting my lip while my cheeks tinge red. Maybe I will. I try to picture it. Kyle with his brown hair and slim body. His long fingers trailing up my thighs and gripping my hips. But when I get to where his face should be, it’s Adrian’s. I blink, sliding my gaze back to my menu.

“So what’s good here?”

We each order a couple of drinks along with a burrata and caprese appetizer. The freshness is to die for and sets the stage for our entrees. I choose Penne all Vodka while Kyle steers towards a linguine dish with an assortment of fresh seafood.

“So, tell me, if you could go anywhere in the world- time and money aren’t an issue- where would you go?”

“Hmm.” I murmur, contemplating. My hands wrap around my glass of water, gaze drifting to the bar behind him. The moment the cool liquid touches my lips, I see him. I choke as I gasp the water into the back of my throat.

My eyes meet Adrian’s as he is in mid-sentence with Sean Durzi. His lips continue to move but his eyes are melting in obvious desire as they dance along my cleavage. His amusement is ended abruptly when he takes in the man across the table from me. His expression says ‘Oh yeah she’s here with him’. Then his gaze gets squinty, a disapproving stare darkening the blue of his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Kyle asks, sitting up a bit, reaching for my hand. I pull back harshly from him. His eyebrows dip in confusion.

“Ah. Yes. So sorry. Um, I just need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” I stand abruptly, hating the obvious scrape of my chair echoing through the quiet restaurant.

I’m handling this well.

The bathroom offers me solace to gather my thoughts. Not that it will matter. The second I leave here, I’ll be confronted with the love of my life watching me with someone else. I suck in a breath tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling. Why does this have to be so hard? Why can’t I just let him go like he did with me? Why can’t I build something new without him haunting me?

Probably because he visits your bed every night he’s in town. I roll my eyes at my internal critic. She’s a real bitch tonight.

When I step from the bathroom, Adrian is there. He’s leaning against the wall across the hall, feet casually crossed at the ankles, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his black pants. He’s wearing a white, Balmain t-shirt that exposes the lower half of his tattoo sleeve. His hair is neatly tucked into a bun. The combination of him screams of bad decisions and hot moans. I shake my head slightly to forget how my tongue licked the lines of his skeleton tattoo hours ago.

“That guy is not it.” He laughs incredulously as the door closes behind me. “I’m falling asleep just watching you two from the bar.” I push out a sigh.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had to come see for myself who won your attention over me tonight.” He licks his lips. I can tell he is irritated. Anger is burning in his eyes while his nostrils flare out slightly. “I think we’ve both seen enough. Let’s go back to your place, fall into bed and forget the world.” He steps closer to me and I back farther away.

“You know, the best part about our arrangement is that you don’t get to tell me what to do.” I snap at him. He steps closer to me, backing me up until I’m pinned between him and the wall. I glance down the hallway observing the empty space.

“Really? Cause I’m pretty sure it was me telling you to come on my cock this afternoon.” His hand comes up to cup my neck, brushing over my rapidly beating pulse. “Tell me he makes you feel like this and I’ll leave.” I stare into his blue eyes watching as they deepen to a navy blue with his hands on me. Warmth begins to pool between my legs. My nipples tighten against my dress drawing his attention. The smirk that dusts his face has my throat tightening with each stroke of his thumb against it. He leans down, placing his lips against my cheek. I hate how I melt into his lips, hands reaching for his hips involuntarily.

But what I hate more is knowing that he’s pulling me away from Kyle because his ego is bruised. He just wants a quick fuck to re-establish our arrangement. Not because he wants forever with me. My hands drop back to my sides before they reach him.

“I can’t keep doing this with you.” I whisper to him, wrapping my fingers around his wrist to pull his hand from me. “It’s killing me. I need someone who sees a future with me.” The pain lacing my tone causes him to pull further away to give me space. “So, no, he doesn’t make me feel like this. But it doesn’t matter because this isn’t what I want.”

“You’re wrong.” The irony of him saying that to me almost a year after we ended makes tears mist my eye lids.

“You were right last year. We are both going different directions. We want different things. It’s time to stop kidding ourselves that this could ever be something again.”

“Anna-”

“Have a good night, A.” I murmur, giving his arm a squeeze and continuing back into the main area of the restaurant. He reaches for my hand to pull me to a stop, but I slide it away.

“Babe.”

The word almost gets me to turn. Almost.

But I know I’m not that to him anymore, so I take another step towards a different future.

By the time I reach the table, our food is sitting untouched on our table. Kyle stands at my approach. I assure him I am okay and begin digging in to my pasta. Adrian walks right by our table. I can feel his displeasure flowing in waves off his shoulders as he sits back at the bar with Sean. It’s distracting, but I flex my mental muscles and attempt to continue my good time with Kyle. As we are finishing our last bites of dessert though, I know I’ve handled as much as I can for one night.

“Hey, do you want to come over after this? My place isn’t that far from here.” Kyle’s eyes sparkle in giddy anticipation. This is the first time I’ve invited him over.

“Yeah. I’d love to meet Brian, if he’s around.” I try to laugh but it comes out as a snort. I hope Brian is out tonight considering he definitely heard and saw Adrian with me this afternoon.

While Kyle is paying the check, I take a peak at Adrian. I glance to where him and Sean are at the bar. My blood cools in my veins when I take in the woman to his right. She’s California beautiful with blonde hair, blue eyes and shiny, plumped lips. Adrian leans in close, enclosing the two of them in a secluded discussion. Even from here, I know he can sense my eyes on him. It’s evident in the way his shoulders square up. I watch as he reaches out to brush his fingers along her hand resting by her wine glass. He leans in even closer, moving her hair to the side. I can imagine the way his lips brush her ear as he whispers to her, breath dancing down her skin until goosebumps form. Excitement stretches her cheeks. I guess her lips will be kissing his tattoos tonight. I feel like I could puke.

“Ready?” Kyle asks without looking up. I chomp down on my tongue, demanding the sloshing in my stomach to cease.

“Yeah.” I pray my voice doesn’t break as I stand, tossing my YSL purse, a gift from the man at the bar, across my body. Adrian glances up and he laces his fingers with the blonde as he stands. She moves with him as we head towards the front door.

We intentionally meet in the entrance, just how Adrian planned it.

“Go ahead.” Kyle motions politely for them to walk in front of us in the small doorway.

“Thanks.” Adrian grins at him. To someone who doesn’t know him, it’s dazzling. To me, its menacing. He gives me a glance like he couldn’t care less about my hand laced with someone else’s while the visual of it for me slices open every scare he made.

“You showed me.” I whisper to Adrian. I know the tears in my eyes are visible, but I don’t care, just like he doesn’t. He gulps a bit before he tugs the blonde closer to his side.

“Just following your lead. Enjoy your night, Anna.” His hand moves to the small of his date’s back and he encourages her forward. I stay rooted in my spot as Adrian slides into the car the valet has waiting for him. His BMW roars to life as he tears away from the restaurant with someone else in my seat.

“You know Adrian Kempe?” Kyle asks, impressed, as we wait for his Honda CRV to appear. “Do you think you could ask him to sign my jersey?”

What the hell just happened?

^ ^ ^

No amount of yoga can calm my fucked up chakras on Saturday morning. But damn did I try.

My second attempt to soothe my aching heart is coffee.

Lucky 7 looks relatively empty as I walk to the door. My hand hits the metal handle and I pause. Sitting at a table directly in front of the door is the Los Angeles King who’s persistent calls and texts I’ve been avoiding since late Tuesday night. When he should have been cuddling up to his latest lay, he was blowing up my phone as I tried to salvage my night with Kyle.

“Maybe you should get that.” Kyle murmured to me after I pressed ignore on Adrian’s twentieth call.

“It’s not important.” I say, grabbing the phone, hoping he didn’t see the name. When I look up at him, I know he did.

“Anna, I really like you, but I get the feeling you’d rather be here with someone else. You should call him.” He left me on the couch after a friendly kiss on the cheek.

The source of the ache in my chest looks at me through the glass. His expression is sullen, but damn does he look as good as ever. I seriously contemplate turning back around, but the barista I like, Holly, waves enthusiastically from the cash register.

Fuck.

I open the door, diverting directly to the counter to order.

“Adrian already got your latte.” Of course, he did. “But we have the chocolate croissants you love.”

“Ah, yeah I’ll have one of those.” I mutter. I swipe my card and grab the pastry bag after tossing a dollar into the tip jar. I feel trapped into a confrontation with him. I slowly turn with my croissant to head in Adrian’s direction.

“I’ve been waiting for you all morning.” He says quietly as I approach. “Wasn’t sure you were coming.”

“I took a later class.” I respond, glancing at the second white cup in front of him.

“Ah. Well, this might be cold.” He chuckles sheepishly, pushing it towards me. “I can grab you a new one.” He begins to stand.

“This is fine.” I grab the cup, taking a delicate sip. “So I won’t pick up the phone and you decide resorting to stalking is the next best step?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not sure if it’s stalking or you’re just predictable.” He looks down, running his thumb across the lid of his cup. The metal of his rings shines in the sunlight streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows. When our gazes meet, there is a vulnerability I haven’t seen from him before.

“I’m sorry about earlier this week. I was a total dick. Nothing happened. I just took her back to her place and left.”

“It’s not my business.” I shrug. “We aren’t together.” I don’t bother filling him in that it was the same with Kyle.

“Yeah… and that’s the problem. I want it to be your business. I don’t want this arrangement anymore either. I want us again.” I can’t help but roll my eyes in disbelief.

“You were fine with it before you saw me with someone else.” I point out flatly. I watch him closely as he fidgets from my words. His hair is pulled back into a bun, crips white shirt perfectly hugging his biceps as he moves. Ugh, I hate how fucking good he looks apologizing to me.

“That’s fair. But it’s not like this week was the first time I thought that. I… was actually going to bring it up to you when I got back from the road trip. But you told me you had a date and I didn’t know what to say. It’s like everything I planned disappeared.”

“How do you want us now but didn’t a year ago? What’s changed for you?”

“Nothing. You were right.” He says to me. “I can’t live without this. I can’t live and never kiss you again or hear your laugh or live in this country knowing you’re grocery shopping or getting dinner with someone who isn’t me. I want everything. I want homemade breakfast in our kitchen. I want fighting for this because we believe in forever together. I want sleepy Sunday morning sex that almost makes me late for morning skate. And I only want it with you, Anna.”

I stare at him while tears fill my eyes.

“I should have turned around. I should have walked right back through that door last year. I’ve had a million chances to tell you this and I haven’t. That’s on me. But I’m telling you now. If it’s too late, and you’re really done, I’ll find a way to accept that. I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you from a distance, if that’s what you want. It’s what I deserve.”

Maybe I give in too easy. Or maybe this is how it was always supposed to be.

“You know you might have to marry me to get all those things.” He grins at me, standing and pulling me into his chest. We both melt into each other, snuggling in close, tight grasps that have our nail beds turning white from the greed.

“I was thinking a beach wedding. With pink and lavender flowers. I’ll wear navy. We’ll invite Brian, get him loaded on White Claw, so when we finally fuck that headboard through the wall, he’ll be too tired to care.” I hide my burning red cheeks in his chest with a squeal. His arms tighten further around me as he chuckles into my hair. “Hopefully that will give us our first kid. A girl- who’s everything like you and nothing like me. She’ll be the perfect big sister to her two younger brothers. Spaced appropriately apart with a few dogs mixed in.”

“Hmm, a Swede wants the American dream. It seems you’re sure this time.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I’m so damn slow.” He murmurs into my ear, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I turn to capture our lips together.

“It’s okay. You have forever to make it up to me.”

Nothin’ I won’t do for another round of me and you.

#Adrian kempe #Adrian kempe fic #los angeles kings #nhl fan fiction #hockey writing #NHL fic #hockey fic #fan fiction #my writing

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tanoraqui · 2 years ago

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I know Maker's Marks is being put aside until you figure some stuff out (which! i'm very excited to see your eventual decisions!) but i MUST ask because i've been burning with curiosity: is legolas involved in the fellowship and how does That go in terms of this, essentially, redneck baby elf and celebrimbor interacting???

Legolas is ABSOLUTELY still involved in the Fellowship! I need to include some short conversation that's like,

Legolas: I'm sorry for playing the 'the Noldor can't be in charge of everything again, it's not fair and we'll probably all die' card. I don't actually bear any grudges, and nor does my father. I just really wanted to be involved in this quest to determine the fate of the world.

Celebrimbor: Aren't your woods infested with spiders and wraiths? Surely you know that quests are terrible and fate is worse.

Legolas: That may be. But for my people and myself, I still want to be involved.

Celebrimbor: You're innocent and ignorant but okay, fair enough.

...basically, I think they're both quite competent in very different areas - woodcraft, archery, hearing and speaking the slow and quiet Songs of nature, vs. creative craft for art and war, Songs put to use - and can recognize that and just kinda...be co-workers? With the mutual recognition/understanding of unrelated royal princes who would rather pursue their own work than do diplomacy, and have mostly been able to do that.

My vague headcanon is that Legolas's non-reaction to the Star of Fëanor on the Doors of Durin means he's heard of the guy, sure, and what horrors the Oath wrought, including against Legolas's, like, grandparents...but Thranduil generally took a "the past is in the past, let's focus on our beautiful woodland realm rather than dwell on it" approach to his son's education, so Legolas doesn't really think of it as relevant to himself. Which, after all, at this point in time, it's not! Some older elves still hold grudges, but damn, Legolas has spiders to fight!

Celebrimbor, meanwhile - well, he does look down a little on anyone who doesn't pursue creative arts, but not in a mean way? "We can't all be classically educated jewelsmiths with a natural affinity for the most interesting and important things in the world :/", like.

Legolas is actually older if you don't count time spent dead, which you arguably shouldn't, because (I headcanon) he was born in the early Third Age when Sauron's defeat had left everyone in what seemed like ultimate peace. He has spent literally about 2000 years guarding his realm against Dol Goldur. But Celebrimbor lived through All The Shit going down; there is Light in his eyes and Darkness in his memory, as well as fire, Wrath, creation and torment. So overall Legolas is like, "hey, this guy is pretty neat!" and Celebrimbor is like, "this guy hasn't seen the level of shit we're going to deal with, but he's seen some shit, so I'm glad he's on watch each night", and if left alone together they'd either do their own things in companionable silence or swap stories of weird, shadow-warped shit they've each fought.

#celebrimbor #legolas #maker's marks #eldar #my fic #random anon asks

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shamelessrabbithole · 2 months ago

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Have you ever heard about the artistic temperament, Bunny? I find it's a very interesting concept in an academic sense in general, but it also feels like it might apply to him. From what I've seen online, it seems like he feels very deeply. He wants to live many different experiences, to meet a lot of people, to try a bit of everything. New experiences also mean a big chance to get your feelings hurts.

I was thinking about him and comparing myself a bit. I'm in my mid twenties as opposed to his early thirties and it feels like we are on different places in life. Everything I want in life is peace (meaning a stable job, health for me and my family, the economy not being too messed up...) Him being older, having worked from a very young age (so having lived many experiences at an earlier age), I'd expect him to want to live more of a calm life. I don't mean settling down, getting married or whatever. I mean maybe taking things a bit slower, now that he has the means for it. Noel, for instance, is someone who, for me, feels like he has reached that place in life where you are just _calm_ Yeah, maybe he isn't booked in a thousand different things but it doesn't seem like it burdens him. He gets to take the jobs he wants, he works on his friends projects, etc. I don't know how to explain it but even his aura feels a bit different.

Cam gives me the feeling of always being a bit unsettled and trying to overwork himself to maybe not think too deeply about things. Like his blog post about breaking his leg after going way too hard on himself doing sports. He never allows himself to do things in a more casual way. When he was into music, he got really into it. The same thing with photography. Idk. Him being into trying stuff is a good trait but I hope he can find whatever it is that will give him peace and satisfaction.

Again, I'm just babbling about two dudes that I don't know in real life but. It's just a feeling.

I understand the feeling. I think that actors often talk about loving the craft more than anything and that the paycheck they get is just a nice bonus. I don’t really believe that for most. I think they’ve got a deep void in them that aches for attention and validation from others.

So then they go and all move to the same town, where they’re all carrying around the same insecurities and desire to be seen, then compete against one another for their next jobs. Add to that the fact that younger, more attractive people are constantly coming up behind them and it ends up being a very emotionally draining life they’ve chosen for themselves.

So, I feel that definitely factors into some of the behaviors we see from Cam. We’re desperately looking for the “normal” and keep seeing all of the “extra.” Maybe he’ll mellow with age or he’ll just keep setting the goalposts further back so he never seems settled. When he speaks, though, he often sounds very sensible and grounded. It could be an act, because ya know, he’s an actor. Or, he’s just doing his thing and he’ll always operate at this level because it’s just who is. I’d be willing to buy either.

#shameless tea #shamelessrabbithole #ask me stuff #ask me anything

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donnerpartyofone · 9 months ago

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I'm so unable to trust myself for so many legitimate reasons that I actually went to a search engine to look up "pitcher" like maybe I've been living a lie for 40 years and nobody thought to correct me. But now I'm having flashbacks to this sort of class/discussion group I was in where one of the instructors was this heavy hitter disrupter-type person who, despite an apparently high level of intelligence and competence in many areas, just would not accept any arguments that AI/algorithms/machine learning ever does anything erroneous. Which is like, patently untrue and one knows this from even the most casual use, and I think it's also a dangerous position to assert that anything you're attached to is "perfect" especially something that the world sees as new and still developing, like why do that to yourself? But inevitably someone brought up what a mess autocorrect is. Like if the machine learning behind your phone keyboard is so unimpeachable why does it force you to use the wrong "they're/their/there" even when it can see the whole grammatical context, why is it capitalizing random words, why is it changing common words to similar-but-different brand names and surnames that you have never heard of in your life, why does it sometimes use a language you don't write in? And this part is human error-based but why is it so anxious to institutionalize typos produced by bad ergonomics? So because this woman said everything AI-related is perfect instead of still growing but basically a net gain, she wound up in this gnarly argument with a student who was just trying to say that all the different phone keyboards she's used have been really frustrating. The instructor vehemently insisted that whenever autocorrect is not technically right, it is still A Perfect Reflection of Our Changing Cultural Values; essentially the "mistake" is based on a completely accurate replication of deliberate human behavior which may not match the old time rules and regulations, but it is still "right" according to the emerging world of the future I guess. And the student kept saying this isn't about colloquial variations in grammar or slang or whatever, the keyboard is just WRONG, sometimes it outputs literal gibberish and I have to manually correct it all the time, I can't even tell what it's thinking about. And the instructor just kept getting angrier and angrier and explaining that the machine is never wrong, it's not even repeating human errors, it is acting in perfect accordance with the evolution of human culture.

This was so fucking crazy to me, like as a scientist or entrepreneur or whatever--someone who is theoretically interested in progress and advancement--how are you supposed to "disrupt" anything if you can't admit that your favorite thing can still improve and is not already in a state of immutable perfection? This is what happens when your special interest turns into a fetish I think, study gets replaced by idolatry and then you can't trust the fetishist to think critically or speak truthfully. Unsurprisingly she also brought up Elon Musk all the time, on a first-name basis, in this combative tone of voice like she could tell that some of us were secretly thinking mean unfair things about him even though nobody dared to voice anything like that for obvious reasons. Anyway according to her the word "pitcher" has become a casualty of the march of progress, so I should probably just stop trying to type it.

Someone please tell my keyboard to stop fucking gaslighting me about the spelling of basic English words, WHAT IS THIS SHIT.

#PS CAM (2018) is a great movie and you should watch it this instant!

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yandere-daze · 2 years ago

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hello!! i’ve been lurking and reading your self aware yandere ensemble stars au!! all of the ideas are so fun and creative that i can’t help but thought of one myself jsjsjsjjs

the characters probably become so happy when you put them on your team! they get to perform just for you and they get especially happy when you set them as the solo…you want to see THEM perform not the other characters in your team…i bet they all get so jealous…

and if you don’t play with the 3dmv they get a bit sad that you don’t want to watch them perform but i think they’d understand that you could get distracted from your combo and they really want the live to succeed because they really want to see the happy look on your face!…doesn’t mean they wouldn’t want to be put as the center so that you could look at only their card illustration alone tho <33 maybe not having 3dmv on is better…

also you know how setting someone as solo will give you more of their character gem thingy? just like the gacha they might also compete for that! the more gems you have of them the higher the chance that you will build their card you use them in lives more right?

also if it’s ok i’d like to send future ideas as ❄️ anon >< (if that’s taken then 🎁 anon is okay too)

Welcome, welcome! Always happy to see a new face in my inbox!! ❄️ anon isn´t taken yet so you can use that when you wish to send in my asks ^^

gn reader

tw yandere

How the characters feel when you put them as the center of your team

You´re quite right with that! Getting put on your team is just one more possibility for you to show your favoritism alongside other game mechanics. Every time you pick a song they´re all anxiously waiting for you to select your team with the cards you want to use. They´re all there, just waiting and hoping that you´re going to let them perform for you this time.

You chose a song from their unit so obviously you´re going to put them on the team now, right? Omg on that note what if the characters themselves are creating these missions in a tour event where you have to use the original members while playing the song, just for a chance to get to be used by you?

They´re definitely especially happy when you let them perform the solo! You want to see them over anyone else, you must love them so much! Don´t worry, they love you too!! Just let them show you how much they appreciate you by trying their absolute best as you play the song!

Imagine how the others must be sulking though. Like sure, they´re happy they were put on the team but they absolutely dread the moment when the spp comes up because they know the game and you will focus on just the idol put as the solo for a few seconds, completely removing the others from the screen. There´s absolutely nothing they can do except stand to the side as that one lucky bastard gets to have all of your attention for a bit.

Let´s not speak about all the characters that didn´t get to even be on your team, they´re either furious or very sad and disappointed and they can just stare at everyone else in jealousy. They want to stand on that stage and dance for you! They want their chance too!

And yes, if you happened to put your live settings to 2d only they would be a bit disappointed at first because they can´t show you their beautiful outfits or their dance moves this way but they try to be understanding. The MVs take up a lot of storage on your phone and it can be very distracting when you´re trying to get a full or perfect combo. The one huge benefit to this is that you will only see the cg of your center card, meaning that they are the only thing you see for the entirety of the song. It´s like the others don´t even exist and you and them are the only thing that matters. It´s a wonderful feeling to be the only one you look at, even if only for a small amount of time

And yes, the character gems! What if instead of just something you can use to level up your cards, they see it as a sort of token that shows them the amount of affection you hold for them? I mean, the more you put them in the center, the more you will get of that character´s gems. It only makes sense to look at it as some sort of measurement of who out of them you like the most, right? They´re all kind of fighting about this, being happy when you have a lot of their gems and being sad when you don´t.

#yandere ensemble stars x reader #yandere enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #yandere enstars #yandere ensemble stars #ensemble stars self aware au #yandere self aware ensemble stars au #yandere self aware au #❄️ anon #gn reader #yandere #cw yandere #yandere x reader

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bl00dgutsgl0ry · 3 years ago

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Since your requests are open i shall throw my brain rot at you <3

Slightly mean(bc he is a tease and is having the time of his life bc of the current scene in front of him) Kaeya that watches his virgin s/o try to fit him inside but she fails ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

And finally after some time he agrees to help out.

(uh also if u are accepting anons, may i be the ⚠️ anon?)

Pairing - Kaeya x Fem!Reader

Warnings - Degradation kink, praise kink?, very slight dollification

Word count - 1.7k

Other comments - Dude your Kaeya brainrot is always welcome here I love him. You’re so smart, mean kaeya is next level. And of course everyone welcome ⚠️ anon! Also this one is a little shorter, i just wasnt in the mood to write the build up i just wanted s e x

Your body was hypersensitive with nerves. It was your first time so of course you would be anxious about this whole situation. What wasn’t helping was your boyfriend's relentless teasing. It was aggravating and embarrassing, but part of your body was getting off to it as well; your body getting even more sensitive as time passed.

Right now, you were trying desperately to ride Kaeya, but he was just way too big and you didn’t know what you were doing so nothing was going well on your end. Kaeya on the other hand was having the time of his life watching you struggle.

“God if you hadn’t told me you were a virgin, I’d have never known seeing as how you're whining like a little slut right now cause you can’t ride me.” You shot your boyfriend a glare. God you just wanted to shut him up.

“Watching you struggle like this is quite amusing my dear… Maybe I’ll just sit here and force you to keep trying. You're destined to get it right at some point hm?” You heard him chuckle as you groaned out. There was a feeling that was beginning to bloom deep within you. You couldn’t quite name the feeling but all you knew was that you needed Kaeya’s help and you needed it now.

“Please Kaeya. This is driving me crazy. I need you Kaeya.” There was a needy rasp in your voice that made his only exposed pupil blow wide. There was a low rumble in his chest that only made this feeling intensify. You didn’t know what you had done, but you knew you weren’t going to regret it.

In less than a second there was a punishing grip on your hips, Kaeya’s long slender fingers holding so much strength in the iron grasp he had on you. Effortlessly Kaeya had you hovering over his pulsing cock. You whimpered in anticipation.

“Such a pathetic useless slut, always in need of my assistance. Hold yourself up like this so I can line myself up. You’re competent to be able to do as simple of a task as that right?” You nodded quickly, biting your lower lip instinctively out of mild anxiety. Once again, despite it all, this is still your first time. Your position did not waiver when Kaeya pulled away one of his hands. You could still feel the imprint of where it was on your hip.

“You’re okay right (y/n)? We’ll take this first part slow so as to not hurt you too much. This isn’t going to be amazing at first but just trust me it’ll get better. Then we can get back to having real fun.” The change in Kaeya’s whole tone and demeanor gave you whiplash; a stark contrast to the dark look he held only moments ago when degrading you. Instead he held a warm, almost concerned and genuine look on his face.

You took this moment to really admire him. The way his dark blue hair fell over him, shining in the pale light of your lamps next to the bed. Your breath never ceased to be taken away when you looked at him like this, cherishing the way his tanned skin contrasted the shining pale blue eye he had exposed. You guessed you had been staring at him for a little too long, with the way his expression started leaning more towards concern than anything.

“I always trust you Kaeya, this time is no different than the others.” A gentle smile formed on both of your faces. There were no words for how much you guys trusted each other, having this unexplainable bond. Somehow you both knew more about each other than yourselves.

Kaeya nodded before he nudged the hand that was still on your hip down, signaling for you to start lowering yourself. There was still an unease in the pit of your stomach, but it was much less noticeable now. You jumped slightly when you felt the tip of Kaeya’s dick intrude, causing him to chuckle quietly and begin rubbing comforting circles into your hip. You continued down, wincing as you felt yourself begin the stretch around him. It ached, and Kaeya was right, this certainly did not feel amazing, but you trusted him. After a few more painstakingly long moments of lowering yourself, you were fully seated on his lap. You could feel every pulse and twitch of his cock, and slowly the pain began to fade; leaving a burned need to feel more in its wake.

You squirmed on his lap, not trusting yourself to talk at the moment, in fear of saying or making some abhorrent noise. Kaeya’s punishing grip returned, holding you still on his lap.

“That didn’t take very long. Are you sure this is your first time? You’re really acting like a slut now.” The antagonizing tone returned to Kaeya’s voice, and it was really affecting you now. You desperately needed him to move. You let out a whimper as you futilely tried wiggling around in his grasp. A dark smirk graced his face as he tightened his grip even more.

“What was that my slut? What do you need? How am I possibly to know what you need if you don’t tell me. I’m not a mind reader darling.” You groaned, your face lighting up red with embarrassment with the knowledge that you were indeed going to have to beg this man to move.

“Kaeya…. I need you….to move please. I need to feel you in me. Please Kaeya help me.” You saw that familiar darkening on Kaeya’s face that made you melt, and an ache began deep within you.

“Your wish is my command, my beloved.” Before anything else could be exchanged, Kaeya hoisted you up until only the tip was still inside you then almost dropped you back down. You repeated this motion over and over and you let out loud moans and cries.

“That’s right. You’re my whore. I’m the only one that ever gets to see you this way or make you this way. Let everyone know who you belong to. Who exactly is making you whine like a bitch.” You cried out at a particularly hard and direct thrust into that one special spot that made you see stars.

“Say my name you little whore, say it out loud so we can all know whos fucking you this well.” You cried out once again, your moans being interrupted with the loud gasps of his name on your lips. You chanted his name like a prayer to the Archons above. In this moment, he was your archon, your divine being who you followed with unwavering devotion. What else were you to think when he was bringing you such pleasure.

“That’s it my darling. Even though your only use is being my fucktoy you are such a good one. You just keep sucking me in so well, this feeling is addicting.” You moaned out louder at the words he was throwing at you. Only moments later your legs began getting very tired from the constant up and down. You placed your hands on his toned chest as you began slumping over, not being lifted up quite as easily.

Suddenly you felt yourself being tipped over before Kaeya quickly pulled out, rolled you onto your back and caged you in with his strong arms on either side of your head. Without warning he thrusted himself in again, much easier this time.

“We haven’t even been doing this for very long and you already seemed so fucked out. Of course I shouldn’t be very surprised seeing how pathetic you are.” You could feel tears beginning to fall from your eyes from the pleasure that was wracking through your body. The tears only egged Kaeya on, as his thrusts became even harder. You could sense how sore you were going to be, you might have to stay home tomorrow. Kaeya began to let out strained grunts and groans, gritting his teeth in pleasure. He could feel the way you were squeezing him, and how you were about to fall over the edge any second now. He needed to ruin you.

The tears began to fall faster the closer you got to the end, a huge knot threatening to break in your core. After only two more targeted thrusted your back arched off the bed, smashing into Kaeya’s torso above you as you screamed out his name along with a few other profanities. Your vision flashed white as the feeling of your orgasm crashed over you like unrelenting waves in the sea.

Your cries quieted down as you slumped down onto the bed trembling, tears staining your deep crimson cheeks. Kaeya had grown much louder over those few moments and before long we was shoving his throbbing cock as far as he could get it and cumming. His orgasm took him by storm, nothing ever feeling that incredible before. The noise he made as his body shook above you and his sweaty forehead fell into the crook of your neck only made you tremble more. Before too long Kaeya gently pulled his softening dick out of you and slumped down onto the bed next to you. You were immediately pulled into him as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. This skin to skin contact filled you with the fuzziest feeling in the world as you snuggled as deep as you could into him.

You guys stayed in silence, the only sound being the rhythmic breathing of the two of you. You were both tangled in each other’s bodies before you quietly heard Kaeya mumble a soft ‘I love you’. You smiled and kissed his chest, not having the energy or willpower to speak. Not long after the two of you were lulled into the deepest, most peaceful sleep of your lives.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagine #genshin impact imagine #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #smut #kaeya #genshin kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya smut #kaeya imagine #kaeya x reader

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tokidokitokyo · 2 years ago

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2022年7月31日

July is over, so it's time for a goals check-in. This month I wanted to focus on how to set goals for studying Japanese. During my Japanese study this year, I've been checking in with myself about once a month to see if the goals I have set are still attainable, still what I want to focus on, and if I think my study methods are getting me to these goals. I think it's important to keep checking in and making sure that what I am doing is realistic and meets my expectations for language learning.

This month I thought I would go into a detailed goal-setting checklist so you could see my thought process. I hope this is useful, and remember to adapt it to your level, time commitment, and what you want to do with Japanese (or any language really).

7月がもう終わった？！？そして、目標のアップデートがきました。今月はどうやって目標を決めるについて書こうと思っています。今年の勉強の途中で毎月目標をもう一度見て、変えないといけないかどうかを確認しておきます。今でも目標を実現できそうなの？今でも目標を目指したいなの？勉強方法はまだまだ目標に進んでいるの？毎月また確認して、目標を変えたりして、勉強を進むためにちゃんと考えておきます。

今月は詳しく目標を作る方法について書こうと思ってて、自分の考え方を発表しようと思っています。役に立ったら嬉しいです！皆さんは自分の目標を自分の勉強方法に合わせて頑張ってください。

How to Set Japanese Learning Goals

Why Learn Japanese?

What is your reason for learning Japanese? This can be as simple as "it sounds cool" or "I like anime" or as far as "I want to work in Japan." This is a long-term goal so it can be as basic or as complicated as you like, but make sure you are being honest with yourself. Writing down some reasons will give you motivation that you can look back on when you are tired of studying Japanese and remind you why you were so excited to learn it in the first place.

My reason for learning Japanese has changed over the 10+ years I've been studying it. When I started my reason was that I wanted to read the children's books my uncle sent me from Japan when he lived there. When I was in the middle of my learning journey, my reason was to be able to talk to my Japanese friends fluently. Now my reason is to teach my son to speak, read, and write Japanese fluently. The changes in my reasons has led to changes in the way I approach my study, and that's why determining what your Why is for studying Japanese can help shape the approach you use.

What Level Do I Want to Reach?

This will help you to create a more specific goal in your learning than "I want to learn Japanese." How much do you need to know to satisfy the reason you are learning Japanese that you came up with? If you want to work in Japan, you will need to attain a much higher level than if you want to understand most of what you hear in anime. You will have to learn kanji, specialized vocabulary, and be far more proficient to work in Japan than to simply catch phrases and storylines from a TV show. Neither one of these goals is "better" or "more worthy" than the other, but again, it's a good idea to be realistic about what level you would need to attain the goal you have in mind.

Another way to judge the level you want to attain is with the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT). There are 5 levels, N5 being the lowest and N1 being the highest, and here is a summary of the competencies required for each level.

My specific goal this year is to improve my Japanese to attain proficiency at the upper level of JLPT N3. This would probably be considered upper intermediate, and although I don't plan to take the test, it at least gives me a good idea of the level of resources I should use to improve my Japanese.

Determining Your Time Commitment

How much time do you have to commit to Japanese? How quickly do you want to progress? Be realistic, but determine how much time you have to commit to Japanese. If you are a student of Japan Studies or a similar major, you probably have quite a bit of time to devote to learning Japanese. If you are working a job, have a family, or have other commitments on your time, the amount of time for Japanese study will consequently be less. How long it will take you to learn Japanese will depend on the time you put into it and the goal you want to achieve, but as with every language you need to study it every day.

I make sure to include Japanese study in my day every day, even if it's only for five minutes or a half hour. I'm realistic about the time I have available, and I don't chastise myself for missing a day to take some time off when I need it.

Setting Small Goals for Yourself

Now that you know what you want to achieve, and how much time per day you actually have to achieve it, the next step is to set small goals. For example, if you're just starting out learning Japanese, your first goal should be to learn hiragana and katakana. At the same time, you could start writing out vocabulary for a few minutes per day to practice the kana you've learned.

It is easiest to break up your goals into sections such as those in most textbooks:

Speaking and Listening

Vocabulary

Grammar

Reading and Writing

You can set small goals on a daily basis (e.g. learn 5 kanji a day, learn 5 vocabulary words a day, learn 1 grammar point a day, etc.), a weekly basis (e.g. learn 3 grammar points per week, watch one show with no subtitles every week, complete one chapter of Genki per week, etc.), or a monthly basis (e.g. learn 3 grammar points every week for a month, learn 30 kanji per month, complete one lesson in So-Matome N3 Grammar every day for a month).

Make sure that your goals are attainable, realistic, and something that you want to do. Also continually check in with yourself and make sure that they are the goals that will get you to your end goal. Otherwise, you might burn out and feel overwhelmed.

Another important point to consider when setting small goals for yourself is the priority of each part of Japanese. If you just want to learn to understand anime, you don't need to focus as much on reading and writing (although you might go from watching anime to reading manga...) and so your priority would be listening and understanding spoken Japanese. You'll still need the fundamental basics of grammar and vocabulary, but you could add in more listening to your daily practice. If you want to learn the linguistic properties of Japanese, you would spend more time focusing on that rather than listening practice.

Pick Out Resources

Now that you have your goal in mind, you must find resources to study Japanese. This can be overwhelming, because there are a plethora of resources available. There are free and paid resources, and of course the quality can vary with free resources. Many beginners have started out with the Genki textbook, and many advanced learners use the JLPT level-specific resources such as So-matome and Kanzen Master. There are also graded readers for those just starting out to intermediate and advanced, as well as many YouTube videos designed for Japanese learners.

This isn't intended to be an exhaustive list, but it's important to try out several different types of resources and to discover what most interests you. If you don't enjoy textbooks, the Genki route might not be for you, so you might have to look around to find other resources that suit your learning style. But if you don't enjoy the resource you are using, you won't enjoy the learning process. If you are stuck, try looking at studygrams or studyblrs or just googling to see what other people are recommending for your level.

Staying Motivated

Some days you will not have the motivation for studying, and some days you will feel like giving up. It's normal, it happens to the best of us. I had a year or two where I didn't actively study Japanese, and when I came back to Japanese study I really enjoyed it again. So it's ok to put it aside when you need to. It doesn't mean you are a failure or that you can't do it. Be kind to yourself!

That being said, if you just aren't motivated, try something different to see if you can get back on track.

Take a break - sometimes you just need a day off

Try something different - try watching an anime you like without the subtitles and see how much you understand

Go back to your main goal - why are you studying Japanese? What was it that made you start in the first place? Remember that original excitement and see if it sparks your motivation

Find someone else to be your accountabilibuddy - find someone who speaks Japanese or is studying Japanese and talk about Japanese with them

Change your small goals - maybe you aren't getting what you expected out of a resource, or maybe what you are studying doesn't interest you anymore, so instead of doing 5 kanji a day try just one, or change your daily goal to vocabulary instead of grammar

Try deadlines - if you need a deadline to motivate you, try giving yourself a deadline and communicating it to someone else

Whatever you do, don't give up! Be gentle on yourself and come back when you're ready.

My Goals This Month

Now that you've seen the way I go about setting my goals, here are my goals for July and how well I did achieving them. Underneath each goal I've indicated what the goal will help me with in terms of Japanese learning.

Kanji flashcards daily (but now I need a new online flashcard app cos now Quizlet is charging money...) 〇 Keeping up with kanji practice

Read 夜カフェ (Yoru Cafe) Ch 1-3 〇 Improve my reading skill in speed and comprehension

日本語の森 (Nihongo no Mori) N3 Grammar videos 2-3 times a week and take notes 〇 Learn and review N3 grammar whilst practicing my handwriting

Watch news or read an article 2-3 times a week △ Practice listening and reading comprehension

Read a children's book to my son once a day △ Practice reading speed and precision, bond with my son

〇 = completed, △ = partially completed, ✕ = did not complete

If you look at my June Goals Progress update, you'll notice that most of these goals are completely different than what I thought I'd be doing this month. They changed so drastically because I had less time, so I had to alter them to things I could do in smaller time chunks, and because I spent less time at home I couldn't access my study materials or sit down and spend a lot of time with my study materials. I would say that my goals changed partway into July, but I just kept going with the flow and made sure that I achieved something that was reasonable, interesting, and that kept me focused on my larger goals.

Let me know what your goals are for August! またね！

#日本語 #japanese #japanese langblr #japanese language #langblr #studyblr #日本語の日記 #japanese diary #japanese goals #japanese goals july 2022 #japanese goals 2022 #tokidokitokyo #japanese studyspo #tdtphoto #my photo

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mbti-notes · 3 years ago

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Anon wrote: Hello, ENTP here. I fear I'm in a Fe loop and maybe a Si grip. I entered college and made friends with an ISFP and an INFJ. We're getting pretty close and we share a lot of ideas, but I can't trust them with myself. I'm afraid that once I show any sign of disagreeing with them, they will turn their back on me.

I know I'm being influenced by past experiences. I had friends that didn't respect my boundaries and expected me to be there for them all the time. For example, I'm not a touchy person, I dislike touching a lot. Those friends knew that because I explicitly stated that I hate being touched, yet at any given moment they would. I also couldn't talk about my problems or anything related to myself, they would interrupt me and talk only about themselves. I don't want to play victim here, they had their own issues, I don't blame them and I understand now that true friendship is different from whatever that was. I'm telling you this because it's important to know where this fear comes from.

Anyway, the things is that I don't know how I'm supposed to act around my new friends. I'm walking a line between trying to soften me up for the sake of their feelings and speaking about what I think, with the risk of hurting them. But I'm doing it all wrong. I'm starting to mirror their behavior and suppressing my opinions for their approval. Yet, I can't come up with a new strategy and can't help but being tied up to the past. I don't want to screw this up, they're different people and they don't deserve whatever was left of me. I fear I will become needy and repeat the same mistakes, ending up in self isolation. I'm not living up my full potential and I know it. How can I overcome this?

-------------------

Yes, you've got some Fe and Si problems. In a nutshell, you're behaving like a cheap imitation ISFJ. Trying to be something you're not is the road to self-destruction. Your past experience makes you believe that you have to twist yourself into some unrecognizable form in order to keep your friends. But when you take these kinds of shortcuts, you just end up sabotaging your intended goal. How can a friendship be healthy when people never get to see and know the real you? How can you be healthy when you constantly neglect your own needs and desires? How can you be open, trusting, and giving when you are always in fear of what might happen?

Why take a shortcut that does so much harm and actually leads you away from your intended goal? Because you lack the SKILLS to do otherwise, and this is related to poor Ti development. Ti development means building a proper understanding of how things work, as well as learning the skills that are necessary to navigate systems competently (in this case, how socializing works and how to socialize successfully). Immature Ti is very limited in its knowledge because it is far too small in its scope, basically only capable of seeing cause and effects at the most superficial of levels. For instance: "If I keep my mouth shut, I won't say the wrong thing and get rejected by my friends". This superficiality leads to adopting ineffective strategies.

It's good to be open and honest about your needs and desires. It's good to be respectful and considerate with other people's needs and desires. So, how do these two things meet up in a relationship? Is there really nothing at all in between the extremes of aggressively imposing your needs on others versus passively sitting in neglect of your own needs? The middle ground is found in assertiveness. In ENTPs, this involves exercising Ne adaptability and Ti strategic planning based on the facts.

Being assertive means taking the initiative to put yourself out there AND being responsive to what happens after you do. It's true that maybe not everyone can handle what you put out, but it's better to know than to wonder forever, isn't it? Wondering forever leads to you staying in relationships that aren't healthy for you. Once you know the facts, you can make a well-informed decision about what your next steps should be. Not every relationship will work out as you hope, and that should be okay, because there will always be more opportunities to come. This is what healthy Ne should tell you.

Socializing is an art, not a science, which implies that you have to be nimble and make sure that your expectations are realistic. There is no way to speak such that you never offend anyone. However, there is a way to speak your mind responsibly, and there is a way to be flexible and adjust your approach as necessary to mitigate negative reactions. To accomplish this, you need to do some skill building (for the sake of Ne+Ti development). The relationship related skills that you lack include:

optimism: seeing positive possibilities (not just negative ones) and believing that there will always be another opportunity (in the event that this particular one doesn't pan out)

presence: approaching new situations without past baggage

trust: giving people the benefit of the doubt

courage: the willingness to face up to truthful feedback

confidence: believing that you can handle whatever comes because you are committed to learning from your mistakes

assertiveness: being open and honest about yourself

communication: using respectful language to express opinions

conflict resolution: de-escalating tense situations

emotional intelligence: understanding how to navigate feelings and emotions that result from social interaction

impartial critical judgment: knowing when to persist (because there is potential for a better relationship) versus when to cut your losses (because the relationship is a lost cause)

Some of these topics have come up before, do a search. Also check out the book recs on the resources page. Yes, there is some pain in learning difficult skills, making mistakes, and changing the way you do things. But confronting your deficiencies is the road to realizing your potential. In the bigger picture, the pain of growth is less painful than living with loneliness or living in constant fear of abandonment.

#entp #entp relationships #fe loop #si grip #relationships #communication #assertiveness #trust #ask

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bvidzsoo · 4 years ago

Text

No one like you

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: light swearing, overload of fluff for the light hearted

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

Word count: 15, 074

Summary: On a very important day you get a call from your sister asking you to babysit her daughter. She knows how important the project is for you and wouldn’t have bothered to ask you if it really wasn’t urgent. And you know that, so you reassure her that you’ll babysit Jieun. However, you get a little surprise when Kim Mingyu, your brother-in-law’s best friend, shows up unannounced, did I mention he’s also your ex?

A/N: Holy moly what a ride this one shot was writing! I had no idea I had the capacity to write something as fluffy as this bUT! THIS IS KIM MINGYU! and I love Kim Mingyu too much, so this is me channeling my inner love haha. Hope you enjoy it and I would love to read your feedback!

The studio has been buzzing with people the whole week. The new exposition was going well and I was proud that my works gained so much attention in so little time. I have been painting ever since middle school, a small and innocent passion became the job that allows me to put bread on my table every day. I never imagined that one day I would become a well-known painter, it just seemed surreal. But it happened, in my sophomore year, I painted a little piece for a contest and I won, gaining a lot of attention. Ever since then things changed, but they really only changed after I finished high school. I didn’t go to college, like many of my peers, I downed myself into the world of art and went around Europe, researching and learning as much as I could about the painters. Somewhere along the way, in Switzerland to be exact; I was actually taking a break; is where I met my manager. Hansol Vernon Chwe. He had a fine eye for art, very sophisticated taste and unique views. Through him, I met Xu Minghao, my second-in-hand. Minghao was mesmerizing, his mere presence could capture your whole attention. Everything about him was delicate, his taste was even finer than mine and he was ruthless. He knew what he wanted, always, and wasn’t afraid to demand it. Only wanting the best, always striving to be the best. I’m a perfectionist, I rarely let loose and I’m obsessed with order. Minghao and I clicked instantly, it was love at first sight, in a very platonic way. Ever since Vernon introduced me to him, we’ve been working together. Minghao is a painter as well, his style rigid and very colorful, meanwhile mine is warm and homey. We run the studio together, he’s a few years older. It was his idea to work together, to build the studio together, to give it life together. It was his project of a life time, his very own dream, and when he shared it with me, asked me to join him, I knew I couldn’t refuse him. It was great exposure to the both of us and it wasn’t a big surprise of how well it worked.

I was busy talking to a client when my phone started ringing, cutting my words off. Vernon threw me a displeased look, they were clients from France and they wanted a contract with me, some of my paintings would be exposed in their art gallery if I went through with the deal today, but when my phone rang for the second time, I knew I had to excuse myself. I wouldn’t have to, if it wasn’t my sister calling. She had a different ringtone, on purpose, and she knew I was busy today, so, she wouldn’t have called unless it was something very important.

“I’m so sorry for bothering you!” Were her first words as I picked up, eliciting a chuckle from me.

“Yeah, I’m talking to some very important people, right now, Joohyun. What’s wrong?”

“Wonwoo and I got stuck.” Her sigh was loud and I listened closely, eyebrows furrowing.

“Where?”

“On the highway, we are still three hours away, traffic is insane, again…”

“Okay, what can I do?” I asked, already knowing it involved Jieun, my 4-year-old niece.

“Jieun’s nanny has to leave in an hour, something came up for her…can you go over? Look after her until Wonwoo and I get back?” I bit my lower lip, thinking hard. Can I leave the studio in an hour? The event goes on the whole day and I am supposed to stay. But if Jieun needs me, our parents live on the other side of the country they won’t be able to come in such a short time, I had no choice but to make it work.

“Yeah, sure, don’t worry. I’ll go babysit her.” I reassured Joohyun and she sighed out relieved.

“Thank you, Y/N, you are a life saver!” Came Wonwoo’s deep voice through the speakers, no doubt my sister was using the car’s Bluetooth to speak on the phone.

“Sure thing, Won, see you later. Drive safely, brother-in-law!” After my sister and her husband bid me their goodbye’s I hung up the phone and went to find Minghao and Vernon. Vernon just finished talking to the French clients and as I neared him, he shook his head.

“What could have been more important than this deal?”

“My sister.” I deadpanned and Vernon sighed as he nodded his head.

“Well, I made the deal. So, if you want to back out, we can’t anymore. The paintings we talked about will be shipped off to Lyon next week.”

“That’s alright with me. For how long is the contract?” I let my eyes run over the people inside the studio, eyes falling on Minghao. He was standing next to one of his painting’s, a glass of red wine in his hand as he spoke to three blonde females. They were giving him suggestive smiles but Minghao paid little to no attention to them as gazed at his painting proudly.

“Contract is for two years, Y/N.” Vernon answered me and I nodded with my lips pursed, waving Minghao over once we made eye contact. He excused himself and jogged over, a bright smile on his lips.

“Everything good?” He asked with his honey voice and Vernon nodded.

“So, uhm…” I cleared my throat and looked at them apologetically, “I have to leave in an hour.”

“Oh?” Minghao asked surprised, looking at Vernon to see if he knew about this already, but he didn’t.

“Joohyun called and asked me to babysit Jieun, her babysitter has to leave in an hour.” I explained to the guys and Vernon’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Is there no one else that could go?”

“No, I’m sorry, I really want to stay, but I just—can’t.” I sighed and Vernon nodded in understanding.

Minghao’s eyes lit up in sudden realization as he pointed his glass of wine at me, “Mingyu.”

“Uh…what about Mingyu?” I asked confused, looking at Minghao with furrowed eyebrows.

“Call him and tell him to babysit Jieun instead of you.” He proposed his idea and I took a second to think.

“I’m sure Joohyun and Wonwoo thought of Mingyu first.” Minghao went to cut me off but I raised one finger at him, “Joohyun knows it’s important what we are doing today, she really wouldn’t have called if Mingyu was available, okay?”

“Sure.” Minghao muttered with a sigh and Vernon patted my shoulder reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything. Minghao will entertain the guests, no doubt.” A teasing grin came onto Vernon’s lips as he took the glass of wine from Minghao.

“Why can’t you do it, huh?” Minghao snapped back, glaring at Vernon when he took a sip from his glass.

“And this is why I didn’t want to leave…” I muttered with a shake of my head, making Vernon chuckle as Minghao shot me a glare.

“We are very competent of running things on our own, Y/N, thank you very much.” I gave Minghao a look before he returned it, challenging me. Sometimes our personalities would clash together, one more stubborn than the other.

“Chill, guys,” Vernon raised a hand in the air to get our attention, our mediator in tense moments, “Y/N, you should greet Mr. Yoon’s grandmother before you leave, she’s been looking for you.”

“Of course!” My face lit up at the mention of Grandma Yoon, the old lady having been a very loyal customer of mine. I met her through the contest back in high school and ever since we’ve kept in touch. She used to think Yoon Jeonghan, her charming nephew, and I would become a thing. She was really convinced she could make us date, but Jeonghan and I were too different. And to be fairly honest, I’m not someone very interested in relationships. I’m fine on my own, I don’t mind not having a partner. It was long since someone held me in their arms and kissed my forehead softly, but my art required a lot of attention and time that I wasn’t willing to sacrifice for someone else. I’ve been on a few dates since high school, but they never worked out. I blamed them on my atrociously high expectations but those weren’t the reasons for my failed love life. It was a person that I never truly got over, he ruined me in the best way possible, and now I just can’t find anyone that could live up to his level. No one. And it was frustrating until I realized I didn’t actual need someone to feel completed and happy. Excusing myself from Minghao and Vernon, I went around the studio with a smile on my face, searching for Grandma Yoon and Jeonghan.

The car ride to my sister’s house took a lot longer than usual, traffic at noon was horrible in the city. I was at least fifteen minutes late by the time I pulled in their driveway, quickly getting out of the car, big bag full of supplies almost falling from my hand. I locked my car and rushed to the front door, ringing the bell. It took three seconds and the door was thrown open, a relieved look on the nanny’s face.

“I’m sorry, traffic was really bad today.” I shot an apologetic smile to the nanny and she opened the door wider, to let me step inside.

“I understand, thank you so much for coming!” She bowed her head as she pulled on her coat, stepping outside the door, “It’s really urgent.”

“Hurry, then…” I motioned for her to leave with my head and she bowed a bit before rushing away, leaving me shaking my head. I closed the door and threw my heels off, music coming from the living room. I smiled to myself when a girly voice echoed to the hallway, singing along to the lyrics. I left my green, thin, coat hanging on the hanger and gripping my heavy bag with both hands, I headed towards the living room. My sister’s house was big and beautiful. Her and Wonwoo have a simple yet sophisticated taste. Their house looked a thousand times better than my apartment. As clean as I am, my apartment could be a mess from time to time. Especially my art room, where I paint, that one was always a mess. But for me that mess was order, I always knew where everything was and found whatever I was looking for within seconds. As I walked down the hallway to the living room, I gazed at the pictures in white frames that were hung up on the white walls. The pictures were of Wonwoo, Joohyun and Jieun, mostly. There were a few family portraits from both parties, Wonwoo and Joohyun, and there were even some of me and Mingyu. Actually, the one who took almost every picture was Mingyu. He has had a passion for photography since high school and continued to do it as a side job, even currently. He was borderline an artsy, borderline a jock kind of guy throughout high school, maybe that’s why he attracted all kinds of girls. Myself included.

“What a nice voice you have, Jieun!” I exclaimed as I let my bag fall to the floor once I made it into the living room’s doorway.

Jieun’s head turned away and a big gummy smile, nose scrunched up, spread on her soft face, “Auntie Y/N! You came!”

“Of course, I came, auntie wouldn’t miss any chance of spending time with her favorite girl in this whole world!” Jieun started giggling loudly as I spoke in a funny way, jumping my way towards her.

“I’m really your favorite girl?” She asked with another giggle as I reached her and scooped her up in my arms. Her weight wasn’t something I couldn’t handle; she was only four after all.

“Well…it might be Joohyun, but—”

“Auntie, bad auntie!” Jieun whined with a pout and I grinned at her, kissing her cheek.

“Bad auntie, I know.” I muttered and she pressed a soft kiss to my cheek, so I placed her down, “What were you doing with your nanny?”

“We studied a little bit of numbers, then I wanted to watch cartoons and she promised to make some French fries for me but—she’s gone now.” Jieun’s lips formed a pout and she oddly resembled a little bunny, cheeks puffing up. I laughed and crouched down in front of her.

“So, here’s my plan…” I motioned for her to lean as if I was sharing a secret with her, “Auntie brought some of her painting stuff over…so, after we paint a bit, I will make French fries for you. Cool?”

“Cool!” Jieun exclaimed loudly, clapping her hands together. I winked at her and went to grab my bag from the doorway, dragging it to the coffee table. I glanced at her as I opened the bag, her big eyes shone with excitement; she loved drawing and painting; and her nose scrunched up in the most adorable way as she smiled. She was an oddly mix of both Joohyun and Wonwoo. Sometimes, the two would start bickering about who she looked more like…in those time, of course Mingyu and I would have to interfere, and of course Mingyu would be on Wonwoo’s side meanwhile I was on Joohyun’s, just to balance out everything. But when Jieun smiled, she was the exact replica of Wonwoo, nose scrunching in the same way and eyes disappearing almost. When she was serious or pouting, she looked like Joohyun with her big eyes and delicate lips. Her beautiful dark hair reached her shoulders and she’d always brush her bangs out of her eyes, especially when she was frustrated with something. And oh my God, she was one of the most stubborn kids I’ve ever met. She knew how to manipulate people, even at the age of four, and most of the time got what she wanted. She inherited Joohyun and Wonwoo’s calm natures, never being a hyper child, nor too loud. She could be a little angel but she had her moments when she was hard to deal with.

“So…” I looked at Jieun as she kept smiling at me, “Do you have anything in mind that you’d like to paint?”

She sat on her knees close to the coffee table as she stared down at the smaller white canvas I placed on the table for her. All kinds of brushes and colors lay on the table, Jieun’s eyes running over them eagerly.

“Nothing special, maybe some trees…a blue sky…green grass…something nice.” She mused, more to herself, and I chuckled quietly as I shook my head. One day, my little Jieun, would turn into a big painter herself, making her auntie proud.

“Sounds excellent,” I raised my thumb up at her and she giggled, “Should we start?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed and quickly claimed her brush, asking me to pour some blue paint onto her palette. I did as I was asked and watched as her tongue darted out and eyebrows furrowed as she mentally imagined where she’d place the sky.

“Auntie, will you not paint?” She gave me a quick glance before swiping her brush against the canvas.

“Not today, I’m taking a break.” I answered her as I leaned against the sofa, watching her paint, “Auntie has worked really hard the past three months, I need some rest.”

“Don’t you paint though because it makes you relax?” Her eyebrows rose as she tried to lighten the blue color she placed on her canvas.

“That’s true, but I’m wearing white pants…” I trailed off with a lame excuse, making Jieun throw me an amused glance. I giggled when she shook her head, it made me feel like I was the kid and she was the adult. Jieun, sometimes, would act really mature for her age, saying meaningful things without realizing the weight of her words. Mingyu always blamed it on Wonwoo and Joohyun, who would never fail to remind their daughter certain things that would form her into a decent human being later on in life.

“I’m so excited!” Jieun giggled as she pointed at the yellow paint, and I took and pushed some of it onto her palette.

“Do you like painting so much?” I chuckled and Jieun nodded, “That makes auntie really happy!”

“Yes but no!” She exclaimed and I raised my eyebrows at her as she attempted to paint a big sun onto the blue sky she just painted, “Uncle is coming over too!”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked surprised at the little girl sitting next to me, Mingyu is coming over?

“Did you speak to mommy and daddy, Jieun?”

“Yes, they said uncle Mingyu couldn’t make it in time so they will ask you to come instead.” She hummed and grinned at me before turning back to her canvas.

“Ah, so Mingyu isn’t really coming over…” I let out a sigh, pleased to hear he wouldn’t show up today. I haven’t seen him in over a month, and meanwhile it was a long time, it was actually refreshing. I didn’t have much time to spend time with my family as I was busy with the studio and the project Minghao and I have been working on. Mingyu was considered family, even though he wasn’t related to anyone. It’s just the way it is, Wonwoo and him grew up together, it was only natural Wonwoo considered him his brother. So that made him, indirectly, Joohyun’s brother-in-law and my…well, brother-in-law? I wasn’t really sure, it didn’t matter, I didn’t consider Mingyu really family either way. It was just weird, to look at him and think ‘oh yeah, he’s like my bro’, because we have dated in high school before, for two years. Two years of bliss and pure happiness, two years I wish I could time travel back to.

“But uncle is still coming over though…” Jieun muttered to herself and my eyebrows furrowed, but I ignored her comment. She just misunderstood what her mom and dad told her. Mingyu couldn’t make it today, so they called me instead. Just like I suspected, I knew Joohyun wouldn’t have bothered me if she had other options.

Painting the canvas went well and in-an-hour Jieun was finished, happy and proud of her work. She asked me to critically asses her painting and so I did, entertaining my little niece furthermore, her giggles filling the living room. She was so loud that I didn’t even hear the front door opening, a mistake on my part as I forgot to lock it, and the deep voice made me jump upon I heard it.

“And what do we have here…” My eyes were wide as my heart beat quickly, a loud squeal leaving Jieun’s lips before he was up on her feet, dashing towards the giant standing in the doorway. Mingyu was grinning down widely at Jieun as he scooped her up in his strong, and well-built, arms, his sharp canines showing off when his smile widened more. His black hair was disheveled, probably because he continuously runs his hand through it, and the sides stuck to his face, still wet. He was wearing black shorts that reached his knees and a sleeveless blue loose tank top, a silver chain dangling from his neck. I quickly caught myself ogling him and huffed as I rose to my feet, arms crossing in front of my chest. Truly, who knew not seeing him for a month would make him look more attractive? Mingyu, no doubt, had an incredible glow up since high school. If he would’ve looked like this during high school too, I’m sure all the girls would’ve lined up in front of his classroom to bring him all sorts of things. But even as handsome as he was now, I found him plain. Maybe because I’ve known him for a long time now, and don’t get me wrong, plain not in a bad way…he was just, plain, transparent.

“Look how excited you are to see uncle!” Mingyu teased Jieun as he poked her stomach, eliciting a loud shriek. I couldn’t help it but smile, having a big weakness for Mingyu and Jieun together. And alone, just…when it came to Mingyu, after all those years, he was still my one and only weakness. It amazed me how I never got over him one hundred percent, I just couldn’t. But I didn’t want to either, not when his flaws seemed perfect too.

“Because I love uncle!” Jieun grinned at Mingyu, nose scrunching up making Mingyu giggle.

“Of course, you love me! I’m the best uncle ever!” Jieun cheered with Mingyu as he started dancing around with her still in his arms, Jieun poking Mingyu’s cheek.

“Finally, uncle and auntie are together!” Jieun cried out as Mingyu started tickling her sides, making her laughter echo loudly in the house. It seemed like realization dawned on him upon he heard Jieun’s words, he seemed to realize that there was another person there with them, standing a few feet away, smiling at them. Mingyu stopped moving and Jieun giggled quietly, trying to catch her breath from being tickled, throwing her arms around Mingyu’s neck to give him a tight hug. Mingyu’s gaze locked with mine and I kept my smile on as he returned it.

“Look who finally showed up!” He teased and put Jieun down, acting as if his muscles were sore from holding her and he earned a light slap from Jieun.

“Well, hello,” I said with a chuckle as Mingyu walked further inside the living room, headed my direction, “Long time no see, old friend.”

“A month, to be exact.” Mingyu said, suddenly serious, as he stopped in front of me, “Are you ignoring us now?”

“As if you don’t know…” I rolled my eyes and undid my arms that were in front of my chest, to turn and walk away, but Mingyu was fast and he was already pulling me in a hug. His body was bigger than mine and whenever he hugged me, I felt like I was melting into him, disappearing from the world. This time wasn’t different, in fact, it felt like his body swallowed mine all up as he gripped me tightly. One month was really that long of a time, huh. I returned the hug, suddenly realizing his tank top was damp and he didn’t smell exactly the most pleasant, at least his usual cologne was less strong, “I was busy with the studio and—are you sweating?”

“Right now?” Mingyu started laughing and his chest rocked against mine, my eyes widened, realization hitting me. He just finished work!

“Ew, Kim Mingyu, get off!” I shrieked and tried to wrestle myself out of his bear hug, but he squeezed harder and started laughing louder and louder, “You’re sweaty, no, stop!”

“Too late, dummy!” He said while laughing and twirled me around, very amused that I couldn’t get away from him.

“Don’t make me kneel you where the sun doesn’t shine!” I threatened with a deadly voice and in two second, he let go of me, “You’re disgusting!”

“That’s not something nice to say to someone, auntie…” We heard Jieun in the background say very lightheartedly.

“That’s right, Jieunie…” Mingyu said with a pout, leaning his face closer to mine. I quickly pushed it back and it made Mingyu snort before he glanced at the canvas on the coffee table.

“Oh! Did you paint this Jieun?” He asked, eyes wide and mouth open.

“Do you like it?” Jieun asked happily, bouncing on her toes.

“Love it! It’s so beautiful!”

“Thank you!” Jieun giggled and I patted her head as she came to stand by my side, grinning at Mingyu, “Next time I could paint you!”

“Oh, uncle would love that!” Mingyu winked at Jieun playfully as he looked back at me, “Missed you, Y/N.”

My heartbeat quickened and I snorted, very unladylike, as I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, sure…Can’t say I missed you very much, I guess—Yeah, kinda? A bit, yeah, I missed you too, idiot.”

“Wow,” Mingyu breathed out, an amused smile on his lips, “That sounded like you got a brain malfunction, glad to see I still make you flustered, Bae.”

“Don’t call me Bae.” I snapped at him, eyes narrowing as Mingyu went to the doorway, picking up his discarded backpack.

“Isn’t that your family name, Bae?” A sneaky smirk crossed his lips, he knew what he was doing. Of course, that is my family name but he is using it knowing it has double meaning.

“Go take a shower Kim, you stink.” I pinched the bridge of my nose with two fingers, making Jieun laugh loudly as she pointed at Mingyu.

“Auntie is making fun of you!”

“Didn’t Wonwoo hyung teach you to not point fingers or make fun of someone, Jieun?” Mingyu’s voice turned stern, but his expression remained light. Jieun, however, knew Mingyu was being serious and scolding her.

“Sorry,” She muttered with a pout and hid her face in my pants as she turned her body into me.

“Go shower, before I cut off the warm water, you dick—” I sucked in a deep breath at the almost slip, it was already bad that I let dick slip, as Mingyu started hollering with laughter.

“Good luck explaining that to Wonwoo and Joohyun later, bae.” He called as he walked down the hallway and towards the bathroom, laughter following him. I cursed in my head as I looked down at Jieun, a big smile on her lips.

“Dick?” She asked with a giggle and my eyes widened in mortification.

“Jieun, no! Never ever say that to anyone, okay?!” I snapped, eyes narrowing at her as I leaned down to be eye level with her, “Auntie will cry if you do, I swear, Jieun.”

“Auntie will be sad if I say…dick?” She giggled again and I glared at her, trying to make her understand she couldn’t say that. How do you make a kid stop from saying a bad word? Help?!

“Auntie will bawl, Jieun, not cry, bawl!” I emphasized the word, knowing how much Jieun hated seeing people cry.

“Okay, I won’t say it at all,” She raised her pinky finger and hooked it with mine, “Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise.” I echoed after her, biting my lower lip nervously. This will come back and bite me in the ass later, I know it, and that’s when I’ll really be bawling. Especially if Joohyun will be shouting my head off with Wonwoo throwing daggers at me, dear God, what have I done?

Jieun was beyond excited when I told her that I would have to cook lunch for us now, and she even volunteered to watch some Barbie movie while I do that. She knew I didn’t like other people in the kitchen with me while I was cooking, I always worked better alone. Mingyu was in the shower still, his phone blasting some upbeat song that we could hear clear and loud from the living room, hallway, and even a little bit from the kitchen. I shook my head as I turned on the Barbie movie for Jieun, Rapunzel, and walked to the kitchen while throwing daggers towards the closed and locked bathroom door. Mingyu always had weird habits but ever since we finished high school, he started developing some even weirder and annoying ones, like blasting music while showering. Maybe if it was Mozart or some jazz music it wouldn’t have bothered me, but the kind of music he listened to were men and women screaming and throwing out nasty words while saying them fast, that’s not music in my opinion. But I learned not to question him about many things, his rants would leave me with a headache afterwards, he always spoke too quickly which messed with my brain. He definitely wasn’t a very patient person and it showed in many ways.

I opened the fridge and took out everything I needed for lunch. I promised to make French fries for Jieun so that was the first thing I started working on. I washed the potatoes before peeling them and washing them again, then I placed them in a bowl and started cutting them up into long, thin, sticks. Without realizing, I found myself humming a ballad I heard a while ago while preparing the studio. It was a beautiful song about a man who regretted letting go of its lover, realizing too late what an amazing person this was. I could relate, almost, but it wasn’t me who broke up with Mingyu. He wanted us to break up, so I didn’t have much choice but to move on. Something I actually failed doing, only partially though.

I prepared the oil for the fries, placing it in a pan and putting it on the cooker, waiting for it to boil. I washed some vegetables and started cutting them, preparing a salad with some yoghurt and lemon dressing. I placed the first round of fries into the pan and hissed when some hot oil collided with the skin of my wrist, I always hated cooking with oil, that shit hurt when it burned you. As I moved around the kitchen, trying to find the salt that seemed to always be in a different cupboard, I became aware of the silence coming from the bathroom. Mingyu must have finished washing up, I strained my ears and was able to hear the Barbie movie still playing in the living room. I went back to the fridge and took out the meat that Joohyun placed there last night to defrost and took it to the chopping board. I took out the sharpest knife from the drawer bellow and started slicing up the meat into, somewhat, even pieces. I always found the cleaning and slicing of meat disgusting, nowadays, I didn’t even cook it anymore for myself. But Mingyu and Jieun really liked meat, and it seems like Joohyun had in mind to prepare it today, so I sacrificed myself to cooking it, not that it’s a big deal.

“Mhm, smells good in here,” The male voice made me flinch, I always get scared from the smallest things, “What are we cooking today?”

I heard shuffling from behind as Mingyu walked further inside the kitchen, his big feet thudding loudly against the marble floor.

“I’m cooking today.” I said as I proceeded to cut off the excess fat from the meat.

“You really don’t expect me to sit back and watch you cook?” Mingyu sounded amused and I knew I couldn’t really argue with him. He loved cooking and he was really good at it too.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind…” I trailed off as I crouched down to open the cupboard and take out a bowl, “You know I don’t like people bothering me when I do something.”

“Yeah, and if it wasn’t for me, your first round of French fries would’ve turned into ashes.” I rolled my eyes as Mingyu took his position at the cooker, taking out the French fries and dumping them into a deep bowl.

“I was about to check it…” I muttered as I proceeded to season the meat, licking the mixture from my palm. It tasted fine but I needed to mix it better so I proceeded to do that.

“From what I can see, you do need an extra pair of hands here…” Mingyu muttered with a chuckle and I felt him passing behind me to wash his hands in the sink, “Not that I wouldn’t mind sitting and watching you move around—those pants really do their justice to your ass—”

“Kim Mingyu.” I snapped and rolled my eyes, refusing to look at him and let him see the redness of my cheeks. I swear to God, he says things like that on purpose just to make me flustered. And they always work.

“What? I’m just giving you a compliment here!” He said defensively and passed again behind my back, coming a lot closer and I clenched my jaw.

“Slap my ass and I will cut off your fingers.” I warned, knowing him well enough, and Mingyu started giggling as he quickly ran past me, coming to a stop in front of the cooker. He placed the second round of potatoes into the boiling oil, no complaints coming, unlike from me. His technique was always better. I licked my finger again and hummed contently, about to wash my hands when Mingyu spoke up.

“Let me taste it!” He whined and I rolled my eyes, heading for the sink.

“When it’s done.” I muttered as I turned on the water, hand almost underneath it, when a large hand gripped my wrist and raised it up.

“Mingyu—” I choked on air when he proceeded to such off the mixture from my middle finger, knocking all air out of my lungs. He hummed with his eyes closed, lips in a pout as he released my finger from his mouth. My heart went crazy and my jaw hung open, I shifted from one leg to the other, saliva pooling in my mouth. What the fuck?!

And then my eyes proceeded to travel lower and now I was definitely turned on, “What the fuck?!”

His eyebrows rose and he looked confused as he followed my eyes, which were currently on his well defined six pack. Jesus Christ, woman, as if you haven’t seen men with six packs before! Yeah, but those men weren’t Kim Mingyu…The hand he was still holding twitched and I snatched out of his hold, mustering up my most frightening glare as my eyes connected with his. It took a lot of power to punch his biceps instead of his, very firm looking and broad, chest.

“Go put on a shirt, Jesus, Jieun doesn’t need to see you shirtless.” I scolded him and quickly turned around and washed off the mixture, before he decided to lick my whole hand clean.

“I don’t see Jieun around though…” I could hear the smirk in Mingyu’s voice and I scoffed as I rolled my eyes aggressively.

“Here or not, go put on a shirt, dickhead, no one is curious of your body. This isn’t the gym, Mingyu.” I muttered aggressively, avoiding to look at him as I reached for the towel to dry my hands, knowing well if I looked at him my eyes would be drawn to his chest instead of his face. I tensed and groaned in annoyance when Mingyu’s front was suddenly pressed up against my back, his warm enveloping mine. I hate how easily he could tease me and how easy it is to make me react; how easy it was for him to play around. I knew he only teased me because he lived for my reactions, but deep down I always hoped it was because there were still some lingering feelings for me. Maybe not, he broke up with me, after all.

“You left the water running, Y/N,” He muttered, voice low as he was so close, his breath tickled my exposed shoulder and I tried not to cover away, “Joohyun and Wonwoo won’t be too happy when their bill comes.”

“Yeah, well, how about you learn what personal space is?!” I snapped as I placed the towel down forcefully, wanting to turn around but knowing I couldn’t resist looking at his toned body, I stayed put instead.

“And miss all the reactions you give me?” He giggled as he placed his chin on my shoulder, making me sigh out loud, “That would be a total waste of my time.”

“And a lot of saving of my energy—your potatoes will turn into ash soon, so how about you move?” I raised my elbow and let it collide with his abdomen, not too harshly though. Mingyu giggled again and suddenly a new voice rang through the kitchen.

“Uncle, you’ve finished showering!” I panicked as I didn’t want Jieun to see us like this, she would tell her mom everything and I didn’t want Joohyun and Wonwoo smirking at us the next time we’ll have dinner together, “Why didn’t you tell me you’re cooking?”

Jieun was pouting and I hissed when Mingyu did nothing to move, looking at Jieun with a smug smile, “I want to help too!”

“Sure, sweetie, uncle was about to make some sandwiches, do you want to help?” Mingyu cooed at Jieun and I elbowed him again, harder this time, to make him step back. He groaned in pain and finally put distance between our bodies, when suddenly I felt teeth sinking into my shoulder.

“What the fuck?!” I couldn’t help but cry out and turn around sharply to slap a smirking Mingyu. I started back at him wide eyed as he started cackling, unphased by my slap to his side this time.

“Uncle will go and put on a shirt if he wants to live.” I said with a forced smile as I gave Mingyu a look, eyebrows raising at him, “Or do I have to make you wear one? Like a little kid?”

“Oh, bae, I can do that fine on my own.” He laughed as he walked to the table, where his grey shirt, with a deep V, was thrown down on.

“What is fuck?” Jieun asked, eyebrows furrowed, and my eyes widened as Mingyu started hollering with laughter again.

“Yeah, auntie, what is fuck?” Mingyu smirked once he was able to speak, hid laughter having died down, “I’m really curious too.”

I glared at both Mingyu and Jieun, placing my arms on my hips as I took a deep breath, “A very ugly word that only adults can use, alright?”

“Well, that’s unfortunate for you, Jieun.” Mingyu said with a shrug as he went to take the bread.

Jieun stuck her tongue out at Mingyu and I smirked as I walked towards the oven to take out the roasting tray, “I said adults, Mingyu.”

Jieun started giggling loudly and Mingyu threw me a glare as he paused slicing up the bread for the sandwiches he planned on making.

“Hand me some ham, cheese, tomatoes and lettuce, Jieunie.” Mingyu asked the little girl, watching me still as I stuck my tongue out at him before I started placing the meat into the roasting tray. Jieun pulled a chair to the fridge, climbed on it and started taking out the items Mingyu asked for.

“Thank you.” He thanked her when she waltzed back to him, grinning at Mingyu as she sat at the table, chin in her palms. I grinned at Jieun, she looked really cute. I quickly remembered the French fries and placed another round into the boiling oil, making me hiss when it went on my skin, again.

“You okay, auntie?” Jieun muttered as she threw me a glance, her eyes going back to Mingyu, who was assembling the sandwiches now.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry.” I smiled towards the girl before turning up the heat in the oven and placing the meat inside. I turned around and leaned against the counter and watched Mingyu work. His back was a bit hunched as he is very tall, his muscles flexing from time to time as he used his hands to make the sandwiches and he kept making faces at Jieun. He beaconed her over and let her place the round tomatoes into each sandwich, poking her nose and praising her once she was done. I sighed and checked on the potatoes again, stirring them a bit around.

“I have an awesome idea,” Mingyu spoke up, canines showing from how big his smile was, “Let’s have a picnic!”

“A picnic!” Jieun exclaimed, jumping up from her seat, “Auntie! We are having a picnic!”

I chuckled and nodded my head, looking at Mingyu with an impressed smile, “Seems like we are having a picnic!”

“I’m having a picnic with my favorite auntie and uncle!” Jieun shouted as she ran out into the hallway, “I will go and change! I want to wear something pretty!”

Mingyu and I laughed quietly as Jieun ran up the stairs, her feet thudding loudly upstairs as she went to her room to get changed. My eyes fell back on Mingyu, he was already looking at me, and he smiled warmly. I returned it and before I turned around, he sent a wink. I winked back and shook my head as I went to open the cupboards, looking for a tablecloth.

“I’ll prepare what we need for the picnic.” I informed Mingyu and he hummed.

“I’ll finish the rest of the potatoes, how long until the meat is done?”

“Forty-five more minutes.” I said after I glanced at my wristwatch, going around the kitchen to get the plates, utensils’ and what we else we needed.

When forty-five minutes were up, the three of us went outside in the little garden behind the house. It was a good day, the sun high up in the sky with a few clouds here and there, and it was warm enough that you could wear a tank top and a cardigan over it. Spring was always a season I enjoyed the most. The pleasure of seeing everything bloom to life once again brought great joy for me. Taking walks in parks while the trees and grass turn once again green is a certain satisfaction you understand only if you experience it.

Meanwhile Mingyu prepared a few more dishes with Jieun’s help, I placed a blanket onto the grass and started carrying outside plates, utensils, glasses, apple juice and the food that was prepared, one by one. Jieun bounced around me the whole time, talking loudly and quickly as she told Mingyu to hurry up and bring the meat out so that we could start eating.

“Jieun,” I spoke up, looking up from my kneeling position on the blanket, “Go put on your denim jacket, sweetie, you might catch a cold in a simple t-shirt.”

“Do I have to?” She whined, lips jutting out and eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes, you do.” I gave her a look that she knew she couldn’t argue with, so she rose to her feet and ran back inside almost crashing into Mingyu when he appeared in the doorway.

“Woah, chipmunk!” He exclaimed, clutching the plate close to his chest, “We almost lost the meat!”

I giggled and shook my head at Mingyu, his eyebrows were furrowed as he turned around to shout back inside the house, making sure Jieun heard him. I sat down on the blanket, sighing out as I massaged my sore knees, I kneeled for too long.

“Stop being dramatic and bring that here.” I said when Mingyu turned back around, shaking his head in displeasure, exiting the house, “You hang out too much with Jeonghan.”

“I don’t,” He scoffed as he handed me the plate before taking a seat on the blanket, “I haven’t seen him in three weeks.”

“Oh no, did he finally ditch you?” I teased with a grin and Mingyu rolled his eyes.

“You wish, he’s my most loyal client!” Mingyu exclaimed, a proud smirk on his lips.

“Is he becoming as buff as you are?” I found myself asking absentmindedly, hating that I was confessing to having checked him out many times. It’s not my fault, his body is eye catching. The whole existence of Kim Mingyu is eye catching. You’d be a fool to be in a room and not notice him, his sole presence is powerful and like a magnet.

“Oh, so I’m buff?” I rolled my eyes as Jieun came running out the house.

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, smiling when Jieun plopped down next to me, “Ready to have lunch?”

“This is the best day of my life!” Jieun screeched and I chuckled, poking her cute cheek. Mingyu giggled quietly, grabbing a plate and starting to put various foods on it. Jieun watched him eagerly and so did I, failing to notice the fond smile on my lips.

“This one is for the princess,” He deepened his voice and did a little bow as he handed Jieun the plate, “From your loyal servant, Kim Mingyu.”

“No!” Jieun giggled, taking the plate excitedly, “You are uncle Mingyu! Not my servant!”

“Let me spoil you for a second, Jieun…” Mingyu said with a sigh, grabbing another plate. I handed Jieun her fork, she still struggled with her chopsticks, and placed a napkin on her lap.

“Don’t stain your pretty skirt, okay?” I asked and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

“Don’t pressure her, Y/N,” Mingyu shot me a look, “Don’t worry about that, Jieunie, just eat freely!”

“You really do spoil her too much…” I chuckled, leaning forward to grab a plate but Mingyu slapped my hand away, “No wonder Joohyun complains about you.”

“She does?!” Mingyu made an offended sound and I watched as the, now, plate full of food was handed at me.

“Thank you.” I muttered with a smile, suddenly feeling shy at the look he was giving me. I looked away and turned my head quickly, reaching for my chopsticks. Mingyu remained quiet and I could feel him still looking at me but Jieun spoke up.

“The French fries are so good!” She exclaimed, making a ‘mm’ sound as she stuffed her mouth with more, “You cook better than mommy and daddy!”

“We do?” I asked with a laugh, glancing at Mingyu, who was smiling smugly.

“Of course, we do!” He gave me a look, “You’re sitting next to Korea’s biggest chef!”

“You wish.” I snorted meanwhile Jieun started giggling, shooting finger guns at Mingyu who winked back at her. It was heartwarming to see Mingyu and Jieun interact, their personalities were weirdly quite similar. Except, Mingyu was acting like a child sometimes as an adult and Jieun was still a child, she had an excuse. I liked spending my time with the two, I felt refreshed and full of positive energy afterwards. Even Mingyu’s teasing could feel pleasant after a long and tiring day at the studio.

“How’s the studio going?” My ears perked up when Mingyu spoke up, eyes on me.

“Oh, pretty well,” I said after swallowing, “The exposition is going well, I wish I was there…”

“Yeah, sorry,” Mingyu scratched his chin, shooting me an apologetic smile, “I thought I wouldn’t be able to come look after Jieun today, that’s why I told Joohyun to ask you. I had three more clients that were supposed to come in but Jeonghan is apparently sick, the other pulled a muscle two days ago and can barely walk and well the third one—I forgot.”

“You always forget things, uncle…” Jieun said with a giggle, dipping her French fry into ketchup. I leaned over the bowls placed in front of me on the blanket and grabbed the one with the salad.

“You have to eat vegetables to stay healthy, Jieun, not just junk food.” I said as I pushed a bit of the salad on Jieun’s plate, making her scrunch up her nose in disgust.

“You’re like dad, ew.” She muttered, shooting me a cute glare. I giggled and put the bowl down, turning towards Mingyu.

“I get it, don’t worry…” I reassured him with a smile, eating more of the meat from my plate, “I just worked so hard for this exposition and—you know Vernon and Minghao! They always find something to disagree on and to be honest, I hope they can keep it together at least until the event is over…”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed as he nodded in understanding and he placed his right hand on my thigh, giving it a small squeeze, “Don’t worry, Vernon and Minghao know how much this means to you. And, besides, they would be jeopardizing themselves too if they fuck up, so…maybe that’ll make you sleep better at night—”

I started laughing, loudly, as I squeezed my eyes shut the food still in my mouth. Mingyu paused talking and his eyebrows were raised as he exchanged glances with a confused looking Jieun. It made me laugh more and I had to place my plate down and swallow carefully, my body rocking with laughter.

“Uh—I’m sure what I said wasn’t that funny—” And then Jieun started laughing too and I couldn’t help it but laugh harder. Jieun was clapping her hands excessively as she kept pointing her finger at Mingyu’s face, unable to say much.

“Un—uncle—you—” I tried to take deep breaths and calm down. Mingyu’s confused face turned into an angry expression, plate sitting on his thigh, as he crossed his arms in front of broad chest.

“What.” He snapped, eyes falling on me now that I stopped laughing.

“You—” I took a deep breath, calming my racing heart and clutching my stomach, “Have salad stuck between your front teeth, I’m sorry—”

I started giggling again and Mingyu’s eyes widened as he started chuckling, sticking his finger in his mouth to take care of the stray salad stuck between his teeth.

“Ew, uncle!” Jieun screeched, closing her eyes, “Cover your mouth when you do that!”

“Yeah, did your parents never teach you that’s disgusting?” I threw him a disgusted look and Mingyu grinned once he cleaned his teeth.

“You dared to laugh, at me,” He pointed at himself, straightening his back, “The great, Kim Mingyu?”

“Please…” I rolled my eyes with a scoff and gave Jieun a look, a look she returned with an amused grin.

“You shall face the punishment now!” I scoffed again and Mingyu leaned over the food and started poking Jieun’s sides, making her laugh again. She swatted at his fingers, throwing him a glare when he stopped.

“That’s not funny…” She muttered to herself as she resumed eating and I chuckled about to eat as well, when I felt a jab in my side.

“You don’t want to do this, Kim Mingyu,” I warned him, pointing a chopstick at him, “We both know you are more ticklish…”

“A punishment is a punishment, bae.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname but of course, Mingyu quickly started tickling my side and I started jabbing him with my chopstick wherever I could.

“Fight, fight, fight!” Jieun started chanting playfully and I huffed as I caught Mingyu’s wrist and stopped him.

“Seriously, don’t.” He pouted and pulled his arm back, throwing me a glance.

“You’re no fun.”

“Do you want me to tickle you?” I raised my eyebrows, wriggling my fingers when Mingyu glared.

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Halfway through the meal, Jieun said she had enough and got up and ran to the little swing they had for her in the garden. Mingyu and I remained on the blanket, splitting what Jieun left on her plate and eating that too. Once we were finished, I poured him some apple juice, then for myself, and we drank it quietly while watching Jieun run around. I chuckled when she started playing with a small butterfly flying by, handing my cup to Mingyu when he asked for it. He gathered our plates, the bowls of food and put them on the far end of the blanket, away from us so that it wouldn’t bother us. Mingyu was leaning back on his forearms as his eyes followed Jieun around, a fond smile on his lips. I sighed and glanced at him, my eyes falling on the black camera resting by his thigh.

“How’s that business going?” I spoke, getting Mingyu’s attention. He followed my vision of line and nodded his head lightly.

“Pretty well,” He said, picking up the camera in his hands, “I’m collaborating with a high school currently, so I’m taking graduation pictures of their seniors.”

My lips formed an ‘O’ shape and I gave him a smirk, “You must be pretty famous around that high school.”

Mingyu chuckled and nodded his head, “Can’t say I’m not, Y/N.”

“Right, can’t remember a time you weren’t famous…” I trailed off, the two of us sharing a knowing look. Mingyu nodded solemnly and then raised his camera, turning it on.

“Two weeks ago, I had a wedding, that one was a big hit, made a lot of money!” He said with a grin, looking into his camera as he pointed it up towards the sky. I looked up and saw the sky was covered with more clouds now, but the sun was still shining brightly.

“I wanted to ask you to come to our studio for today, but Vernon and Minghao apparently booked a really famous photographer so, you know…I didn’t want to say no to them…”

“Yeah, that’s fine!” Mingyu shrugged and started grinning as he took pictures of Jieun, “Your events are way too prestigious, I might have turned down your offer either way.”

“No, you wouldn’t have, Mingyu.” I chuckled, raising my eyebrows and making him glance at me.

“You sound so sure…why not?”

“Because it’s me asking.” Mingyu’s finger paused mid-air and he gulped before nodding his head wordlessly. It’s moments like this one that give me hope, hope that he still feels something for me. Even if it’s been five years. It was enough time for us to get over the other, but having to spend so much time together again made me realize that I wasn’t even far from being over him. Maybe it’s the memories we share, the time spent together, the pleasant moments, the hardships or the person I shaped into while being with him, but it was really hard to look at him and not feel something more than just platonic feelings. It came as a shock after we finished high school to find out that Joohyun and Wonwoo have been dating for two years in secret. No one ever saw it coming, they never left any hints for us to pick up on, it just seemed like they got along due to Mingyu and I dating and always being together. Turns out, they were dating too at the same time with us, except their relationship worked out. And I couldn’t have been happier, they were perfect for each other and they blessed us with little Jieun, the sweetest kid. When Jieun turned two, Joohyun and Wonwoo decided to get married and tie the knot for a lifetime. I was a little jealous when we got the news of their marriage, I always thought I’d be the one to get married first as Joohyun was closed off and wasn’t ever interested in dating or having a family. I guess it was just a matter of time and person.

My eyes widened when the camera made a sound, this time directed at me. Mingyu was grinning as he kept snapping picture after picture and I raised my middle finger at him while sticking my tongue out.

“Hey!” He gave me a glare before turning the camera back to Jieun, snapping a picture of her as she was playing with the flowers, making a crown for herself, “Look at this!”

Mingyu’s canines showed again as his grin spread bigger, he scooted closer, “Joohyun will love this shot!”

It was a close up of Jieun, she was crouched down with yellow flowers in her hands, her dark hair falling around her shoulders and lips in a soft pout. I smiled and looked at Mingyu, “Why don’t you drop the gym and turn into a professional photographer? You are so talented.”

“Y/N,” He gave me a grin and a scoff, as if I already knew the answer, “You know photography is just a hobby for me—”

“Doesn’t it pay better than that smelly gym you work at?” I interrupted him with my eyebrows raised. He chuckled and shook his head as he turned around to take more pictures of the nature.

“Smelly or not, I really like working there…” He muttered and Jieun shrieked, alerting us.

“Jieun?” I asked loudly, eyebrows raised when she turned around, she was holding something brown between her fingers.

“It’s a caterpillar!” She exclaimed excitedly, waving the small animal between her fingers.

“Say hi and put it back into the earth, okay?” I called back and Mingyu snorted as he looked up from his camera.

“This one goes for Wonwoo…” He grinned to himself, looking at me, “His daughter ain’t a pussy like your sister—”

“Mingyu!” I threw him a glare and punched his arm, “Irene hates every little insect, you know that. It’s not her fault—”

“It technically is though.” He gave me a pouty look and I snorted and shook my head. I extended my arms over my head and stretched, hearing the camera go off again, before laying down on the blanket. I groaned loudly as the tension eased from my lower back and I relaxed into the earth, closing my eyes to breathe in deeply the warm air. It was tranquil, the moment felt nice, Jieun’s laughter and chatter faded nicely into the background. I let my muscles relax and enjoy the moment of calmness, that is until weight was dumped on me. I yelped loudly, eyes opening and muscles tensing as I went to sit up but Mingyu’s hand pushed me back down.

“Don’t get up!” He exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed, “Why’d you move?!”

I threw him a glare as I watched him whine more, pushing his ass against my pelvis and sitting on me.

“Mingyu, I don’t know if anyone has made you aware of this, but you are heavy!” I exclaimed again, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I won’t get off until you give me the same expression you did a few seconds ago—”

“How can I do that when a man is literally crushing me?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingyu scoffed, pushing up onto his knees but still straddling me.

“Happy?”

“Not until you completely get off.” I gave him a sweet smile and Mingyu threw me a glare as Jieun’s loud laughter came from behind him.

“Why are you sitting on auntie?” She asked giggling.

“Good question, Jieun, I think he wants to crush auntie—”

“I was just trying to take a picture of auntie, Jieun, but she’s stubborn and wants to upset me.” Mingyu said pouting, giving Jieun a sad look.

“Well, hurry up auntie then, I want to go inside—I’m tired.” Just as she finished speaking, she yawned and pouted.

“Five more minutes and we go take a nap, okay?” I smiled at Jieun and she nodded before running back to the swing. I looked back up at Mingyu and gulped as I stared into his eyes, the butterflies in my stomach kicking off.

“Make it quick, okay?” I sighed out and closed my eyes, willing my body to relax and let go. Forget that Mingyu is straddling me and dangling his camera in my face like all those times when we were still dating. The camera went off and so did my heart, it started beating faster and faster as all the memories swam in my mind tauntingly.

The basketball court was full of students as everyone was in recess. I was sitting with my friends on a bench underneath a tree to hide from the blazing sun as we all ate our lunch and gazed out onto the field, where the basketball team was shooting around. All guys were tall, the team consisted of mostly juniors and seniors, but Yuto, a guy my age, made it into the team due to his height.

“Ah!” Yuna exclaimed next to me, eyes following a boy, “Look at Wonwoo! He’s so handsome!”

“He’s a good player…” I muttered as I finished up my lunch.

“He could be the worst and I’d still love him!” Yuna mused and the rest of our friends agreed with her. I rolled my eyes when someone from behind us scoffed.

“So, you only watch the basketball team because the players are handsome?” The voice was sharp and I rolled my eyes, turning to face my sister.

“You’re still moody?” I asked her and she shook her head, coming to stand in front of me and blocking my view of the field.

“No, I passed my chemistry test, I’m feeling better.” She gave me a wide grin and extended her arm. She was holding a small cartoon of chocolate milk and my eyes lit up.

“Unnie!” I gave her a big grin and stood up to give her a brief hug, “Thank you!”

“Yeah, mom told me you forgot to pack one.”

“You’re the best.” Joohyun chuckled and pinched my cheek aggressively.

“You only say that when I give you something or do something for you—”

“Joohyun—” My friends shrieked and both Joohyun and I jumped as a ball hit my sister’s back. She hissed and turned sharply, the ball bouncing on the ground.

“Joohyun—” My friends started but Wonwoo running over shut them up quickly.

“Are you okay?” His deep voice was laced with worry and Joohyun glared the boy down. She was a lot shorter but her gaze could always make her seem powerful and scary. She leaned down wordlessly and picked the basketball up.

“Be careful next time, Wonwoo.” Her voice was soft, a contrast to the look on her face.

“Sorry, Joohyun.” Wonwoo bowed his head a bit, hands extending to take the ball from my sister. She glanced down at the ball before handing it over, their hands brushing against each other and small smiles appearing on their faces. The snap of a camera distracted me from throwing a suspicious look at the two in front of me. A tall guy, taller than Wonwoo, was holding up a camera to his left eye as he grinned.

“Yah! Kim Mingyu!” I exclaimed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Yah! Bae Y/N!” He imitated my voice, pushing his lips out into an exaggerated pout.

“I don’t look like that!” I snapped at him with a glare as Mingyu walked closer.

“Yes, you do.” He taunted, the camera hanging at his side. Wonwoo and Joohyun chuckled behind me and I glanced back to see them lost in their own conversation.

“Stop pouting, you’re too cute.” Mingyu cooed and I punched his bicep as he started leaning down.

“Why do you keep taking pictures of me—” My words got muffled when Mingyu pressed a small kiss against my lips, a smile appearing on my lips.

“What were you complaining about?” He whispered as he pulled back just a little bit, making my smile widen.

“Nothing.” I muttered and as I went to press another kiss against his lips, his camera went off again. My eyes snapped open to find Mingyu giggling as he was looking down at the picture he took, cheeks rosy.

“Yah! Kim Mingyu!” I exclaimed and raised my arm to punch his arm again but he suddenly jumped back. He stuck his tongue out and I glared at him.

“You two are so immature.” I heard Wonwoo saying from behind me.

“He won’t stop taking pictures of me!” I snapped, watching as Mingyu was slowly raising his camera up again, “Don’t you dare—”

Snap. Oh, that’s it, he asked for it. I took off running towards him but Mingyu just giggled loudly and took off too, running ahead of me.

“You can’t catch me!” He shouted as he turned his head before running faster.

“Screw your long legs!” I shouted after him as I chased him around the basketball field, underneath the blazing sun.

“I love you!” He shouted while trying to take more pictures of me, almost falling when he tripped on a rock.

“You’re an idiot!” I screamed after him, laughing when he almost fell, “I love you!”

“I know you do!” He winked cockily and slowed his running, making me think I’d finally catch up. But when he was in arms reach, he sped up again while cackling evilly. I let out a frustrated cry and continued chasing him, unphased by the looks the students were giving us.

The click of the camera brought me back to the present and I opened my eyes to find Mingyu with his eyebrows raised and a small smile on his lips. His personality didn’t change much since high school but his looks did. It’s not like that mattered much, I didn’t like him for his looks, it was his personality that drew me in at first. His looks were just a plus.

“I want to go in!” Jieun came running to us, whining loudly.

“We are going.” I smiled at her as she looked down at me with a pout and I looked up at Mingyu with raised eyebrows. He blinked and looked at me for a second before he realized he was straddling me, so he got off and helped me off the blanket as well.

“Can you please clean up? I have a Yoga class in half an hour.” I said after looking at my wrist watch.

“And Jieun?” Mingyu asked as he started gathering the things we gathered on the blanket.

“I’ll put her to sleep, don’t worry about her.” I gave Jieun a smile and crouched down, opening my arms, “Do you want auntie to carry you to your room?”

“Yes!” Jieun exclaimed, her droopy eyes widening as she climbed into my arms quickly. I patted her back and walked inside the house, towards her room upstairs.

Jieun took longer than I expected to fall asleep, leaving me ten minutes to get ready for my Yoga class. I closed her door carefully after drawing her curtains closed and raced into the master bedroom, opening Joohyun’s closet. We go to Yoga class twice a week together so I have my clothes here, in case, I don’t have time to go home from the studio. We were supposed to go together today but since I had to be at the studio, we decided to postpone it. Thankfully, our Yoga instructor does online classes in the afternoon for those who couldn’t attend it in the morning. I quickly got dressed in my olive khaki green leggings and matching sports bra, rushing downstairs quietly, to Joohyun’s study room, where we kept our mattresses. She had enough space in her office, so I decided to lay out the Yoga mat underneath the window and quickly turned on her laptop, logging onto the platform of my instructor. In the big rush, I forgot to close the door and I could hear Mingyu coming and going from the garden, bringing everything inside like I asked him to do. I pulled my hair in a low ponytail and took a comfortable seat on the mat as the instructor started the class.

“Good afternoon!” She greeted with a big smile on her lips, her voice raspy but honey-like, “Good to see some familiar faces around; Y/N…”

I smiled and turned on the microphone, “Nice to see you! Joohyun and I couldn’t make it in the morning, we were both busy.”

“Is she not joining us today?” The instructor asked as more cameras got turned on, there was a total of ten people in today’s class.

“No, she’s not at home, at the moment.” I answered her and as the backdoor was closed, loud singing rang through the hallway. Mingyu’s deep voice bounced around the quiet house and my eyes widened as I quickly shut off my microphone, embarrassed when I saw some ladies smiling through their cameras. I glanced out in the hallway as Mingyu passed by the office, unaware that I was inside, as he bobbed his head to his own rhythm while he continued singing. Did he forget I put Jieun to sleep? He’s going to wake her up. But before I could quickly go and shut him up and close the door to the office, our instructor alerted us that we were starting the session.

“I prepared a relaxing Yoga sequence for today, a thirteen-minute-long practice,” She said with a smile as we took a comfortable seat in Lotus pose, “It’s the middle of the week, but we might be feeling burned out a little bit. I know that I do!”

I chuckled as I straightened my back, aligning head over heart, and heart over pelvis, “You can turn on your microphones as we are about to take deep breaths together, let us hear each other.”

I quickly reached over and turned on the microphone, as did the other ladies, whom I were familiar with from other classes, “Good, now let’s take five deep breaths in, tuck your chins, straighten your backs and close your eyes, empty your mind.”

I did as I was told, willing my muscles to relax as everyone took deep five breaths, emptying our lungs out loudly. It was a relaxing motion and it always helped me focus on the task I was about to do, my mind was a buzzing place 24/7. But my tranquil moment ended when Mingyu’s voice rose a few octaves and he started sputtering words after words. I opened one eye to see if the others could hear him as well, but upon seeing no reaction, I quickly closed my eye and took one more deep breath to relax again.

“Let us stretch our side bodies now.” With eyes open, I followed the instructor, breathing deeply still, “This is a great moment to take a step back from your busy lives and reflect on yourselves. Get lost in the silence and the guidance of my voice, trust your bodies and meet me in a tabletop position.”

I smiled and slowly moved into the position, cracking my lower back in the process, “Let’s do three rounds of cat and cow now, everyone following their own rhythm. We are not here to rush today.”

Closing my eyes, I arched my back into a cow position, letting out a quiet sigh when a few vertebras popped, then starting from the tailbone, I curled up into a cat position. I did that two more times while breathing deep, hearing the other ladies do the same calmed my nerves a little bit. I got lost in my own world, finally, blocking out sounds from the outside that didn’t serve me in this moment.

“On your next breath in, bring your big toes together and widen your knees as big as your mat, then meet me in extended child’s pose, with active fingers.” The instructor spoke up, and we followed, “Let’s wake up the muscles in our upper backs while opening our heart space, okay?”

The skin of my lower back and upper back were getting a good stretch as I gently rocked from side to side at the hips, loosening up the tight joints, breathing deeply.

“Make your next inhale the longest breath you’ve taken all day long and, on your exhale, let go of everything that doesn’t serve you by using lion’s breath,” I filled my lungs with air to the brim and paused at the top for three second before sticking my tongue out, eyes looking at my third eye and letting all the air out, similar sighs coming through the laptop.

“Carefully moving, let’s meet in downward dog, but only proceed from a tabletop position.” I raised back into a tabletop position and carefully, knees bent and arms placed at a wide distance on the map, I raised into a downward dog position, heels coming down on the earth.

“Let’s pedal it out,” The instructor said, “Your heels don’t have to come down to the earth straight away, pedal them out first, feel your muscles stretch and when you did all that, grow heavy in your heels and come to a still position for three deep cleansing breaths.”

I moved my legs as if I was walking, in one place, pedaling them out and sighing out when my hamstrings got the stretch they so desperately needed. I ground my heels down and stilled my movements, taking deep breaths. As I took in my last set of deep breath, the floor creaked in the doorway and I opened my eyes, seeing Mingyu upside down from this position, standing in the doorway. His jaw was hung open but when we made eye-contact, a wide smirk spread on his lips.

“Damn,” He muttered as he leaned against the doorframe, “If you only had this ass back in high school too—”

I gasped as my cheeks flushed, the sudden laughter coming from the laptop making Mingyu jump. His eyes widened as he looked towards the screen, and as I lowered from the downward dog, I caught the faint tint of red on his cheeks. The ladies were still giggling, the instructor’s eyebrows raised curiously.

“Uh—I’m really sorry—he didn’t know my microphone was on—”

“Good evening, ladies,” Mingyu smiled charmingly, they could see him well through the camera, “Sorry for interrupting, I’ll quickly head out.”

“Now, now,” The instructor said with a chuckle as Mingyu slowly left, throwing me a smirk that made me glare at him, “We needed that laughter, didn’t we, ladies?”

There was a chorus of agreements and my cheeks flushed again as I chuckled in embarrassment, “Sorry, he’s—”

“A charming young man, indeed,” The instructor interrupted me with a small smile, “let’s try to focus once again though and repeat our downward dog before we proceed with our practice.”

And we did proceed with our relaxing practice, but the problem was I couldn’t relax with Mingyu continuously walking in and out of Irene’s study room and always whispering things at me. At first, he was asking for some books Wonwoo recommended him to read, then he took a seat on Irene’s couch and started reading out loud but in a whisper, meanwhile I kept throwing glares at him. Does he know he’s supposed to leave me alone? By the time the class took an end I wasn’t anywhere relaxed, instead I was angry and irritated. The practice was supposed to make me feel light and relaxed but due to Mingyu bothering me, it didn’t work out. When we were talking leisurely after we finished the practice, Mingyu dangled his head into the camera. The ladies started laughing again and he had a heartful conversation with my Yoga instructor, to which he even got an invitation to her class after he complained about his muscles being stiff after a long day at the gym. When we were saying our goodbye’s, a lady had the audacity to call Mingyu and I, a cute and playful couple, which I wanted to deny but before I could, Mingyu was nodding and thanking her making my heart pump quickly. Once the call was over, Mingyu sat back on the couch and I proceeded to roll up Irene’s mat and placed it back to its place, throwing a glare at a grinning Mingyu. My eyes fell on the book he tormented me with and I took it in my hand and whacked him over the head.

“Hey!” He exclaimed and started rubbing his head, “What are you doing?!”

“What are you doing?!” I snapped, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “I took the Yoga class to relax a little bit but thanks to you I just became more irritated!”

“You did?” He raised his eyebrows and I went to whack him again but he caught my arm and quickly jumped up, “Okay, okay, I get it! Sorry, I won’t do it next time!”

“Of course, you won’t. There’s no next time.” I rolled my eyes and let Mingyu take the book from me and place it back onto the shelf.

“What are you saying?” He asked with a chuckle, becoming amused when I sighed and looked at him expectantly, “I got an invitation to your instructor’s next class and I’m definitely not going to miss it—”

“Hell, no.” I snapped and turned around to leave the office, but not before opening the window to let fresh air in, “So that you torment me there too? No, thank you.”

“Come on! I won’t!” Mingyu whined as he followed after me, closing the door behind me, “I’ll take it seriously!”

“You won’t, I know you too well, Kim Mingyu.” I said with a snort as I started walking up the stairs, Mingyu still following close behind.

“Please?” He looked at me with puppy eyes when I glanced back, “I’ll let you drive me around, okay?”

“As if I want to do that.” I scoffed as I walked to the master bedroom to get my clothes before I head to shower.

“I know you do,” A smirk crossed Mingyu’s lips as he blocked my way, “I heard from Wonwoo you bought a new Mercedes, I just know you’re dying to show it off to me.”

“Am not.” I said with a scoff, biting my lip afterwards. Oh, and how right he is, I can’t wait to pick him up from work and drive him here, in my new light turquoise Mansory S-Class Cabriolet, the next time we are having dinner with Joohyun, Wonwoo, and Jieun.

“You do,” Mingyu cooed and I rolled my eyes as I side stepped him, heading out the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom.

“Now, stay quiet and don’t wake Jieun, I want to shower.”

“Go, go,” Mingyu ushered me inside the bathroom, gripping the handle, “Relax now, since you couldn’t while doing Yoga.”

“Dickhead—” He cut me off by closing the door in my face and I could hear his giggles as he walked away, his footsteps still loud. I groaned and quickly put my hair in a bun, turning on the warm water in the shower stall. The bathroom upstairs was bigger and it was divided in two in such way that if someone was showering another person could still come in because you wouldn’t see them, as the shower stall was just behind the other wall.

And there’s a reason why I usually avoid showering upstairs. It’s so big that the person won’t even hear the running water and often times would walk in, it happened with both Joohyun and Wonwoo while I showered, when they newly bought the house. Like I said, they still couldn’t see you, but the thought alone was enough to drive me away from showering upstairs and just using the downstairs shower. And that same thing happened while I was massaging an exfoliating soap onto my skin. The door opened and I heard feet thudding inside loudly.

“Jieun?” I called out, straining my ears to hear the person inside, “Did you have a nightmare and wake up? Mingyu is downstairs sweety, I’m showering, you can go to him—”

“Yeah,” My eyes widened at the male voice and I quickly turned around in the shower stall, making sure he didn’t already approach me, “Mingyu is upstairs, actually.”

“What the hell are you doing inside, Mingyu?!” I exclaimed, frozen as I listened closely, “I’m showering!”

“Uh, yeah, I know, you told me and I hear the water running—”

“What the fuck are you doing inside then?!” I exclaimed again, eyebrows furrowing when Mingyu cursed loudly.

“Fuck, I stubbed my toe!” He hissed and I scoffed as I quickly rinsed off the soap, “And I know, but I was bored downstairs alone…”

“So, you just come and intrude on a woman while she’s showering? Because that’s fine?” I snapped; eyebrows raised even if he couldn’t see me. I heard the toilet making sounds and realized Mingyu closed the lid and sat on top of it.

“Hey, don’t make me sound like a creep!”

“You are being a creep right now, though.” I pointed out as I took my regular, tropical scented, body lotion and spread it on my body.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I can’t even see anything, you know that, I just—” He let out a long sigh and my eyebrows raised as I paused.

“You just, what?” I asked curiously as I let the warm water wash off the body lotion.

“I was wondering, like, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, actually, you know…” There was a pause as Mingyu cleared his throat before he continued, “Just…after we broke up, you know…did you date anyone else? Like, had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or something…”

My eyebrows furrowed at the odd question, not expecting it from Mingyu, we never talked about relationships or partners. We always stayed away from the topic that involved our personal lives for multiple reasons, so it was a surprise that he finally asked about it, especially when I was showering.

“I mean…” I let out a breath, standing underneath the warm water, “It’s been five years since we…broke up, so…yeah. I had��three…boyfriends.”

“Oh,” Mingyu sounded surprised and I grimaced waiting for him to continue speaking, “Yeah, I had a lot of flings during college, then a serious girlfriend that lasted for a year only, so…”

He chuckled, but I could hear he didn’t take it lightly, it bothered him that it didn’t work out. Something was bothering him still; I could hear it in his voice.

“Well, you know, I don’t know if Joohyun and Wonwoo talked about me and if they did and Wonwoo told you, but…” I took a deep breath and turned off the water, reaching for the long towel, “You pretty much broke my heart, no joke.”

Mingyu remained quiet as I placed the towel around my body and secured it tightly at my breasts, “I don’t blame you now, with this mentality, and I don’t hate you either anymore.”

We both chuckled at the same time and Mingyu sighed as we both stayed put where we were standing, “Honestly, I was a big dick back then. Breaking up with you because I wanted to get the whole college experience—I was a fucking idiot, to be honest.”

“You still are…” I muttered and Mingyu chuckled before he sighed again, “Actually…you know, how I was supposed to come with a plus one to my sister and Wonwoo’s wedding?”

“Yeah, and then you showed up with—”

“Minghao,” We said at the same time.

“Yeah, Minghao, and everyone was fucking confused from your family.” Mingyu continued talking, “Even Wonwoo…I still don’t get what the fuss was about.”

“I was supposed to come with my fiancé—”

“Fiancé?!” Mingyu choked out and I giggled, “You had a fiancé at the age of twenty-one, what the fuck?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“We met when I was nineteen, actually, but back then I was kinda playing around with two guys, you know…still not over you, dickhead, but then him and I got closer and we got engaged three months before the wedding.” I explained, enjoying when Mingyu gasped.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know?” I asked with a chuckle, leaning my head against the wet tiles of the shower stall, “We realized we were too different? I don’t know, honestly, but I’m glad we broke up. I don’t think we were a good match.”

“Yeah, I’m glad too.” I scoffed and I heard shuffling, meaning Mingyu stood up, “Why did even Vernon show up at the wedding? He wasn’t even invited—”

“Two drunk calls from Minghao and I were enough to bring him around—”

“And then I had to drive the three of you home, yeah, I remember.” Mingyu didn’t sound amused and I started laughing.

“Well, if you were dumb enough to come by car and not with a cab like everyone else…”

“Yeah, whatever,” Mingyu scoffed and he cleared his throat again and hesitated to speak, “So, uhm, I was thinking…let’s go on a date?”

I blinked once and then twice and paused. Kim Mingyu was asking me on a date? Or was I hallucinating?

“I really should have waited after you finished showering, not seeing your face is frustrating.” He groaned to himself and I chuckled.

“To your information, I’m gaping right now,” Mingyu chuckled and I pursed my lips, “You want to go on a date with me?”

“Yeah, I think we are both mature enough to start things over, if we wanted to,” He sighed and I licked my lips, pushing off from the wall, “At least, I want to if you’re not against it.”

“Did spending your day with me make you nostalgic, Kim Mingyu?” I asked with a chuckle and he just hummed. I didn’t know how to feel. Did I still have feelings for him? Yes. Did he hurt me already once? Yes. But as he said, we are adults now, we view things differently now. I’m still unsure however.

“I can’t give you an answer right now,” I decided to be honest with him, he deserved it, “Give me time to think.”

He hummed quietly and I knew he wasn’t expecting that answer and he was disappointed, but he quickly spoke up, “I’ll go wake Jieun so that we can prepare dinner together.”

And he was out of the bathroom, leaving me alone with my conflicting thoughts. Did I want to go on a date with him? Yes. Was I afraid we wouldn’t work out anymore and I’d lose him forever? Yes.

After Jieun woke up, the three of us went downstairs and prepared dinner together, spending a good hour in the kitchen. But it still wasn’t dinner time so we snuggled up on the couch in the living room and watched a family movie together, Mingyu bringing us a big blanket to keep us warm. Jieun was snuggled up into his side, putting Mingyu into the middle, and I threw him a curious glance when he kept shifting around, until his arm was around my shoulders and his body was leaning onto mine.

“It’s comfier.” He whispered, keeping his eyes on the TV and I shook my head before looking back towards the TV and feeling my cheeks heat up. It felt nice being snuggled up next to him, his warmth enveloping mine and creating a feeling of calmness and safety. If there was a feeling I missed after Mingyu left me, it was the safety I felt whenever I was with him. His bigger body and the way he carried himself and even interacted when he was with me made it obvious to me that he’d do anything to keep me safe and that I shouldn’t worry. So, in the middle of the movie I cleared my throat and glanced up at him to see him already looking down at me.

“Let’s go on that date.” I whispered quietly at him and instantly Mingyu was grinning from ear to ear, squeezing my shoulder tightly for a few seconds before he sighed out happily. I chuckled and placed a palm against his beating hart, cheeks flushing when I felt his quick pulse. A feeling of fulfilment filled my senses and I couldn’t help the smile spreading onto my own lips.

After the movie was over, the moon was high up in the sky, and we headed to the kitchen to have dinner. Jieun excitedly told us stories about her encounters with other kids in kindergarten and how she kept tricking her nanny into giving her candy without her mom and dad knowing. Dinner was filled with giggles and Mingyu throwing me glances every few minutes, eyes warm and happy. Jieun even pointed it out at some point, asking us if we were hiding a secret or surprise from her. When we reassured her that no, we weren’t, she pouted and settled on finishing her dinner quietly while Mingyu and I conversed about what we did the one month we didn’t meet up, laughing at the memories we shared in high school when one brought it up randomly. After dinner, Jieun had a warm bubble bath and I braided her hair in two, helping her into her pajamas before Mingyu and I tucked her in bed. We were both sitting on each side of her bed, her bedside lap turned on and we chatted for a little while, until she fell asleep.

“You know,” Jieun muttered sleepily, her eyes already closed, “Uncle and auntie act just like dad and mommy. Will you have babies too? I’ll have someone to play with forever…”

Mingyu and I shared a look as I chuckled and leaned over Jieun, cradling her cheek, “Auntie and uncle aren’t like that, Jieun. There’s men and women who are just friends, who love each other but never make babies, because it’s not that kind of love, you know?”

“Don’t worry, Jieunie,” Mingyu leaned closer too, a devilish smirk crossing his lips, “Uncle will convince auntie to make babies so that you’ll have someone to play with, okay?”

Jieun’s eyes opened and she grinned widely as I threw Mingyu a glare, “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise!”

“Hey!” I exclaimed quietly as the two pinky promised in front of me with grins on their lips as if I wasn’t even there, “It’s not that easy to make babies—”

“We’ll figure it out.” Mingyu cut me off with a wink and I scoffed, leaning down and kissing Jieun’s cheek.

“Sweet dreams, angel.”

“Sweet dreams, chipmunk.” Jieun grinned as Mingyu pressed a quick kiss against her forehead and then we got up, turned off her bedside lamp and turned on her fairy lights. Quietly closing her door, we descended down the stairs and I could feel Mingyu smirking next to me, his hand continuously brushing against mine.

“Stop giving Jieun false hope, dickhead.” I snapped finally, making Mingyu giggled. He was expecting my reaction, as we walked back to the living room.

“I was being serious, Bae.” I groaned as Mingyu turned on the TV, putting on some random movie as we sat down on the couch, pulling the blanket over us again. We remained silent during the movie, enjoying the presence of the other, and my heart started racing when Mingyu interlaced his fingers with mine underneath the blanket and placed our hands on his thigh. I didn’t realize I wanted this until it happened, and I couldn’t be gladder. Because in this world, there was no one like Kim Mingyu, and he was mine.

My one and only true love.

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saucylittlesmile · 2 years ago

Note

Since competitive figure skating is full of politics, was there ever any mention that VM’s rise in seniors and gold in Vancouver was more due to politicking and less to their talent? I do not mean to offend but this is my sincere question. Also do the skating judges get held to standards of integrity because if not it is not professional or ethical.

Keeping in mind that I was a new fan in 2010, I’d still go with no, there wouldn’t have been much (if any) talk about it. I’ve got a lot of little thoughts here so I’m going to number them to keep myself straight lol.

VM were young, both in age and in terms of senior longevity. But they were already known to be great talents and had racked up a string of medals through juniors and then seniors on their way to Vancouver. There was a little bump moving into seniors but still great finishes, and they addressed the lifts that were perhaps holding them back a little, and with their skating skills there was no reason to try and hold them back like it was 6.0 era.

Teams that were/would have been in the conversation were having some other situations. Domina/Shalaban - he was having well-known knee issues that was impacting their skills, and trying to compensate with questionable choices (their entire OD; the lifts in the FD via part of her costume). Delobel/Schoenfelder had just barely come back after she had given birth. Belbin/Agosto had relatively recently switched coaches and were being challenged by DW. Meanwhile VM were on a trajectory of back to back World medals, and their names were rightfully in the mix to win Gold.

This was the last Olympics that had a real split between teams that had competed most of their lives under 6.0, and teams that had grown up with CoP. It was an advantage, to be more familiar and comfortable with required elements like twizzles and no-touch step sequences. CoP, for all of it’s issues now, was a way to shine light on the technical side - fulfill the needs of the level, get the level. VM were incredible technicians - they were rewarded with high levels.

VM were only 20/22 but had been skating together for over a decade - experience together is always an advantage. They had a great awareness of each other on the ice that really helped the programs resonate with audiences.

I mean, I’m also speaking from a Canadian/North American viewpoint. I’m not sure if, overall, Russians for example (who of course were the undisputed champs in ice dance for decades, save for a few blips), would have felt the same. Perhaps to them, they could appreciate the talent and the Russian-born coaching, but suspect that there was a push to have a North American team topping the podium for the first time - a time when VM were really a great way to have tgat happen. Or that there was, in particular in Vancouver, the advantage of having a ’home’ audience cheering them on.

But VM were clearly a once in a generation talent - it quiets a lot of grumbles when even detractors can’t deny that, lol.

———

Judges are expected to give marks that will fall into a range that is both acceptable given the team/skater, and comparable with other judges. Admittedly, the range is quite large, relatively speaking, but if you are clearly out of line (higher or lower) than others, then the ISU can and does take measures. It doesn’t happen often, that we know of (who knows what is said behind closed doors so to speak). Just a few seasons ago, at least one judge was sanctioned after very obviously being biased against teams while favouring their own country. It is very, very far from perfect, but it does have some standards.

#ask

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hepalien · 4 years ago

Text

Shrunkyclunks (Modern Bucky/Cap Steve) Fic Rec

Hate Sex & Hair Protocol by @maddiewritesstucky - Mature, 1.8k

SHIELD Agent Bucky, UST, Enemies to Lovers (in Steve’s head), Humor

They’re all full of shit, Steve decides.

His team don’t have a clue what they’re talking about, running their mouths about the way he and Bucky look at each other; the tension that seems to be at a constant near-snapping point between them.

'It’s called annoyance' Steve wants to yell in each of their faces, loud and one by one. It’s the pain of having to exist every day in close proximity with someone who drives you out of your fucking mind.

---

In which Steve discovers that ire and desire may just exist side by side in his brain.

Stop interrupting my grinding series by @rohkeutta - Teen, 2.5k

Nurse Bucky, Wrong Number, Fluff, Humor

“I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

“Someone who’s watching you live on TV,” Bucky tells him as the tiny patriotic figure on the screen takes the turns like he instructed. Bucky should probably be a lot more freaked out about this, but honestly? After a tour in the Middle East and six years as a nurse in New York, even this isn’t enough to ruffle him. One sees a lot of shit in the ER. “Also, you better hang up now, that thing is behind the next bend.”

“Uh, okay,” Captain America says. “Thanks?”

“Whatever,” Bucky says, disconnects the call and turns the TV off to get ready for his shift.

Save a Horse, Ride a Captain by @galwednesday - Teen, 2.7k

War Vet Bucky, Meet Cute, Fluff, Humor, Modern Howlies

Bucky tapped him on the shoulder, swaying back and forth a little as he waited for the man to turn around. “Hello,” he said, and then promptly forgot what else he was going to say, because this guy was fucking beautiful. “Wow. Good face.”

Two of the guy’s friends, a man wearing a suit that fit so well it had to be bespoke and a man with a cute little gap between his front teeth, started cracking up. The petite redhead sitting next to them cocked her head to the side and pulled her phone out of her handbag. Beautiful Face just looked kind of pained, so Bucky redirected. He was a gentleman. He could take a hint. No hitting on beautiful guys who were uncomfortable with that sort of thing, no matter how lickable their jawlines were.

“Hello,” he repeated, doing his best to mind his manners. “I’m very sorry to bother you. Can I have a piggy-back ride?”

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet by @musette22 - Teen, 3.8k

Chef Bucky, POV Outsider, Fluff, Humor

“I made soda bread.”

Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

more under the cut

Cafe Au Écoute by @littlesystems - Teen, 3.8k

Coffee Shop AU

No matter where Steve goes, there's always the chance that he'll overhear a conversation about himself - or rather, Captain America. This coffee shop is no different. The fact that he keeps eavesdropping well past the point of plausible deniability is another matter entirely.

#TweetMeDaddy by StarSpangled - Teen, 4.1k

SHIELD Employee Bucky, Misunderstandings, Crack, Humor

Coulson, for his part, stares up at Bucky with such a betrayed look of frozen horror that Natasha actually goes the extra step and presses another button, capturing the moment and airdropping the photograph to her phone for posterity. When he speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Why…?” He swallows and starts again, trying for some semblance of normality. “...Why would you tweet something like that?!”

“If you must know, sir,” and somehow he manages to make ‘sir’ come out with the same inflection most people reserve for ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, “it’s because I have a difficult time doing my job when my job involves monitoring the man with the best fucking ass in the United States of America.” He slowly lowers himself back into his seat until he’s at eye level, making extreme eye contact with Coulson until Coulson turns away to make mortified eye contact in Natasha’s general direction through the one-way glass. Natasha would take another picture, if she weren’t too busy catching Steve’s red-faced sputtering. “Sometimes, I vent to my Twitter followers. Sometimes, it’s about hot men with washboard abs. Can I go now, or do you need a graphic description of how I pleasure myself at night?”

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by @spacebuck - Explicit, 8.2k

YouTuber Bucky

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

Came with my cool (I dropped it) by @liionne - Teen, 9.2k

Yoga Instructor Bucky

"When you said I need to loosen up, I didn't think you meant literally."

"I meant it every way. Mentally, emotionally, and physically." Natasha says, and thrusts a yoga mat at him.

there once was a diamond by bloobeary - Teen, 11.3k

Fluff, Thanksgiving

"You," Becca seethes, and hits him with a wooden spoon. "Could have told me," Hits him again. "You were dating Captain America." Final hit, Bucky laughs. He supposes he deserves it, giving her no more information than the fact he was bringing his boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner at her house and then showing up with Steve.

Salt by littleblackfox @thelittleblackfox - Mature, 12k

Bakery AU

The cinnamon roll is gone in four bites. Four indecent, jaw-unhinging bites, and Steve sucks the last traces of lemon and icing from his fingers with a low, throaty sound of satisfaction. He glances up at Bucky, who is leaning against the counter and watching him with avid fascination.

“Um…” Steve says around his index finger. There’s still a little icing on the bed of his fingernail, and he stops trying to work it off with his tongue.

“You know those movies where the girl eats an eclair or something, and it’s really, like, sexually charged?” Bucky asks.

Steve pulls his finger out of his mouth. He’s never seen that kind of movie, but the thought of Bucky eating an eclair is certainly… well, it lingers. “Uh?”

“Yeah, well that was the exact opposite.” Steve scowls, and Bucky cackles gleefully. “You are something else, Steve.”

Leg Day by Brokenpitchpipe - Explicit, 12.1k

Gym Thot Bucky

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Art Nouveau by voluptuous_panic - Explicit, 12.2k

Bartender Bucky, Tattooed & Pierced Bucky

Steve's on the worst date of his life. At least the bartender's cute.

much tattoo about nothing by @deisderium - Explicit, 14.5k

Tattoo Artist Bucky

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

No Wonder There's Panic in the Industry by sprinkle_of_cinnamon - Not Rated (I’d say Mature?), 20.5k

Stark Industries Intern Bucky, Team fic, Humor

In which Bucky Barnes and his BFF, Clint Barton, are NYU interns for Stark Media Group competing to be Pepper's favorite.

Or alternatively, the time Bucky assisted the P.A. team on the Steve Rogers piece and ended up (adopted) with a contact list full of Avengers.

Life of the Party by @aggressivewhenstartled - Explicit, 21.6k

Superhero Impersonator Bucky, Mistaken Identity

“You know, kids,” Steve heard from the backyard, “one of the most common threats a superhero has to face is inside an active volcano! We’re going to have to work on your evasion skills, so for the next five minutes, the floor is lava!” This was met by a sudden spike in both volume and pitch from the small children as they scrambled onto every raised surface they could find and immediately launched themselves right back off.

“I’ve never seen actual lava in my entire life,” Steve said, vaguely offended.

“You got a superhero impersonator for The Falcon’s niece’s birthday party,” Sam said, incredulous. “The Falcon, who is an actual superhero.”

Trust Enough by @geneticallydead - Explicit, 23.3k

Misunderstandings

“Saturday. Yeah, that’s good,” Steve says, and actually scuffs his shoe at the ground. Like a ridiculous shy superhero damsel. “Say eight? I live-“

“Yeah, big building with the A on it,” Bucky says, and can’t help a big stupid grin. Steve stares at him, looking a little dazed, and after their whole conversation it’s only now that Bucky’s brain catches up and realises Steve finds him quite attractive. So. Win for Bucky.

“Let me get your number,” Steve says finally, after they’ve stared stupidly at each other for about three hours, taking out his phone.

So they exchange numbers, and then Steve says he should go, and Bucky agrees, and they kind of stare at each other for a bit more, then Steve actually does go, but not before taking Bucky’s hand and squeezing it warmly in a way that makes Bucky want to shiver all over. Then Steve is gone, and Bucky is standing alone in the alley, grinning to himself.

Right up until the moment he remembers that Steve thinks Bucky is an escort he’s just hired.

Well fuck.

The Roommate by layersofart, Niitza - Teen, 28.6k

War Vet Bucky, Roommates AU, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Team fic

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

Brooklyn Baby by sprinkle_of_cinnamon - Mature, 33.7k

Coffee Shop AU, Modern Howlies, Mistaken Identity, Team Fic

In which Bucky is just trying to live life and enjoy his unofficial official table at the obnoxiously hipster coffee shop but some guy named Steve stole his spot.

Or, the time that Bucky unintentionally befriended the Avengers and had no idea.

Never Talk to Strangers by mambo @whtaft - Teen, 40.4k

Grad Student Bucky, Slow Burn

Never Talk to Strangers: or; How a Forgotten Childhood Lesson Led Bucky Barnes to Appreciate Charlie Chaplin, Befriend an A.I., Slip on Soap Bubbles, Be Mistaken for a Succubus, and Try to Woo a Superhero.

Sinking Our Teeth In The Heart Of The Sun by fallendarlings @pressrestartwrites - Explicit, 102.8k

Single Dad Bucky, Kid Fic, Slow Burn, Domestic, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Steve has Autism

Bucky Barnes never intended to become a single father at 25. But life has always enjoyed kicking him while he's down and it's showing no signs of stopping. A chance meeting with a brick wall of a guy named Steve in the formula aisle of the grocery store leads to a friendship it seems like both of them need. If only Bucky could remember that's all they are- friends. If only Steve didn't slot into their lives so perfectly and look so good spoiling Bucky's daughter (and Bucky, despite his protests).

Oh, if only Steve didn't turn out to be Captain America.

Steve Rogers is wandering around a world that he doesn't fit into, fighting for a government that he doesn't trust, just because he doesn't know what to do with himself if he ever relaxes long enough to actually think about anything other than the next mission.

And then came Bucky Barnes and his newborn baby.

More recs

#stucky #stevebucky #stucky fic #stucky fic rec #shrunkyclunks #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #steve x bucky #my stucky recs #fic tag #mine #fic rec #mcu fic #tumblr ate this the first time [my longest sigh ever]#i read art nouveau for the first time last week and I've been thinking about it ever since

121 notes · View notes

ffwriterbts · 4 years ago

Text

Lunar- BTS Werewolf AU Part 6

AN: As I’ve said before, if slowburn BTS werewolf AUs that have springlings of angst, smut, and fluff, this is the story for you! Other than that, please leave a like or comment so I know you’re enjoying the story!! The sections should start getting longer as I keep updating :)

Also! Let me know if you want to be on a tag list for this story!

Word Count: 8.1k

Warnings: PARENTAL ABUSE; BEATINGS; mentions of gang activity; general angst; mental health issues; soulmate themes if you squint: seriously if you aren’t into angst don’t read this bc :)))) it’s angsty

Posted: 17 Jan 2021

Tag List: @happynightmareprincess

Masterlist

Previous Next

But as always, things don’t last forever. Good things rarely last for long enough to really savor them, especially around all of them.

It was during one of the lovely movie nights that YN’s phone started ringing. At first, YN tried to ignore it, not wanting to be rude during the movie, but when it just wouldn’t stop ringing, she made way too many embarrassed apologies as she went to the other room to answer it.

“Hello?”

“YN! My darling daughter! I’ve been calling and calling, don’t you ever pick up for your mother anymore?” YN blood ran cold as she heard the voice she hadn’t heard since she had fully moved into her uncles home.

“I- I’ve just been unloading groceries mom, I couldn’t get to the phone.” The lie falls far too easily from her lips, just like so many others had before.

“Well at least you’re eating, dear.” The sickly sweet tone made YN want to puke, even as she listened more to the woman she had the displeasure of calling her mother on the other end of the line.

“You need to come back to the house, your dear great aunt has passed and you need to come for the funeral.”

YN takes a deep breath before she responds, not wanting to sound too eager.

“Oh, Mother! Of course, I’ll come in! I can stay at the hotel do-” YN starts,

“Nonsense! I’ll be damned if my daughter stays outside of the home when she’s in my city! Your father will be absolutely tickled that you’re here again.” YN’s mother spoke with such assuredness that YN almost agreed without a second thought, not wanting to anger the woman.

“Of course Mom, I’ll stay at home.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, all the fight that is normally in her tone gone from it in an instant, even slipping into the same vernacular she had when she was younger.

“There you go dear, isn’t that much nicer? It’ll be a joy to have all you kids under one roof again, even if it is because of something so nasty.” YN could feel a headache coming on as she listened to her mother drone on about what the dress code was, and how she was so heartbroken, and on and on.

“Are you going to be bringing anyone with you? Huh? It’s been such a worry that you’re all alone up in those woods.” YN is snapped back to attention at the words, and she quickly says that yes, she will be bringing someone with her to the funeral.

Secretly, she has no idea if any of the boys will even want to go with her, but the prospect of going back to that house without one of them to protect her made her feel even worse than the clearly fake worry laced in her mother’s voice.

“Wonderful dear, I’ll be sure to make up your room so it’s nice for the two of you. I’m very progressive, you know.” YN can feel the hot tears making tracks on her face even as she says a quick yes to her mother, listening to the woman drone on as she tries to find a way out of talking to her mother for any longer than she has to.

“Listen Mom, I’ve got to get these groceries put away, when should I be at the house?” YN’s voice is shaking, timid. She’s forgotten completely about the boys in the other room, consumed with the fear of what was to come.

“The funeral is on Saturday, so you should come down Thursday afternoon, to make sure you’ve got time to talk to everyone before you head back out to nowhere. I expect you before noon.” YN’s mother hangs up the phone after she speaks, and YN lets the phone clatter to the floor.

YN is quick to follow, her legs giving out from underneath of her. She is expecting the jolt of hitting the floor, but instead is drawn quickly into the arms of one of the boys. She clenches her jaw, feeling like she’s just overreacting. It's not really that bad, right?

“YN, hey, it’s okay.” YN realizes when he speaks that it was Namjoon who had stopped her from falling to the ground. She could feel the words riverbreate in his chest as he told the others to go back into the living room and fully picked her up, taking her into the other room as well.

“We’re here for you YN, it’s okay. You can’t get hurt here, remember?” Jimin is off to one side, rubbing her back as YN curls up on Namjoon’s lap, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

She’s embarrassed. She feels like she’s overreacting, like the memories of what it was like living in that house aren’t really real and she’s just made the whole thing up. YN really wanted to believe the simple lies she told people of what her home life was like, but she couldn’t hide anymore. Not from them.

“I- I’m sorry.” YN’s voice is soft, all of the parts of her personality that made her who she was were completely gone as she balled her hands into fists. Absently, she noted how it hurt when her nails dug into her palms, but she didn’t make any moves to unclench her fists. She needed the jolt of pain just as much as she needed oxygen.

Hoseok ended up on the other side of her, and he moved to grab her hands, putting his fingers between her nails and her palms, making her unclench the firsts.

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry Mini, you can’t control the way you react to things like that.” YN barely registers what Taehyung says, smiling absently at the familiar nickname he had given her.

“Tell us what’s wrong, sweetie, let us help you.” It’s Hoseok who speaks this time, wiggling his fingers in her hands, trying to make her smile at least a little bit.

“Someone died.” YN’s voice is devoid of any sort of emotion now, and the boys share glances out of worry.

“I have to go back to that house. To those people. They hate me, because I’m not really theirs. Can-” YN cuts herself off, tears welling up in her eyes despite the fact her voice had a sort of trained evenness to it.

“Can one of you come with me? I- I told my mother that I’d bring my boyfriend but that isn’t exactly what we are and I can’t make the choice myself and I don’t want to go alone and I- I- I’m just- I just” YN chokes on her words, speaking too fast as fear swells up in her chest again.

She shouldn’t have told her mother someone would come with her, it was stupid of her to assume one of them would be willing to go into that situation. She could handle it by herself, after all. How many years did she deal with everything that came from that house completely on her own?

Without more than a couple seconds to pause, there are seven voices saying “I’ll do it.”

YN can’t help but smile to herself, internally cringing at the fact her mother is going to expect a certain level of intimacy. The thought of making any one of them uncomfortable... YN can't even bear to finish the thought.

“Um be-before you say yes, Mother is going to expect us to be, well, t-touchy. And we’ll have to share a bed and I’m sure she will make us kiss to prove that it isn’t fake and- and-” YN starts speaking too fast again, and the seven men look among each other again.

“I’ll still do it.” Again, all seven of them respond without any hesitation and this time, YN lets out half a giggle. With a few final sniffles, YN moves off of Namjoon’s lap and into one of the big, comfy chairs.

“I can’t take all of you!” YN gives a soft smile that is bordering on sad as she looks between the boys that have stolen every piece of her heart. She really didn’t know what she would ever do without them.

“You know what this calls for, don’t you?” Jin is the one to speak up, looking steadily between the other boys.

“Clearly, we need to compete to see who’s most worthy of being with YN during this time, hm?” Yoongi this time, also eyeing everyone up.

“Oh, you all can withdraw now, I’m sure I’ll win.” Jungkook speaks up, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Shouldn’t you be the one to withdraw, as the youngest?” Jin is being sassy to the younger boy.

“Why are you so confident, huh? Who says I won’t win?” Jimin speaks up this time, raising an eyebrow.

YN just giggled as she watched them go back and forth, feeling much more at ease, and like the whole thing was just some weird fever dream.

With a sudden shout of “rock, paper, scissors!” from Namjoon, the boys were off, engaging in the battle of the century to see who would accompany YN to the funeral.

After three intense rounds, Jungkook let out a yell, having been deemed the victor. Taehyung pouts, but the game stands, and Jungkook is officially the one that is going with YN.

Once the group calms down and everything settles back into a more normal state, the boys start asking questions.

“Um, YN, I hate to ask things that might be painful, but I thought you were close to your mom?” Namjoon speaks up again, looking at YN with a curious glint in his eye.

“Oh, yeah, well, um, basically, er-” YN is tripping over her words, her ears feeling hot as she tries to figure out how to explain what in the hell her home life was like.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to Mini.” It’s Taehyung again, shooting a look at Namjoon.

“No, no, it’s okay I just- I don’t know how to tell you that it’s, well, weird.” YN turns to look at her hands, playing with the blanket she was wrapped up in. “My parents and I didn’t have a great relationship for most of my life, because I was supposed to be their child when they couldn’t have their own. But then they did. My younger brother and sisters are the light of their lives, and I’m just…” YN trails off, trying to find the words to describe what it was like in that house.

“Well, I was there to make fun of. The bad example. The one to take the anger out on.” YN shrugged in a way that made it seem like the words she was speaking were nonchalant, normal conversation, though they were anything but.

“Dad used to hit me when I didn’t do what he wanted. And then make it up to me by buying me whatever I wanted. Nobody cared about the yelling, the screaming, the beatings. All they could see were the things . And Mother was on board with it all, until Dad started to find his pleasures in other women. Then she was suddenly on my side, picking fights with Dad that I always had to take the brunt of.” YN shivers, eyes wide as she grips the blanket tightly. She wills herself not to cry in the silence of the room.

“Mother tried to make things better between us once my uncle died. At first, I believed it too- I needed to, I think.” YN gives a little frown, licking her lips quickly as she unclenches her hands. The boys share looks with each other, the discomfort palpable.

“I believed that she really cared, you know. That she had really changed and things were different. And then I met all of you. I saw the way you cared for each other, the way you speak to each other. Even when you’re angry or upset or mad, you’re kind to each other. It was strange at first, seeing you all be so nice even when you’re clearly big enough and strong enough and skilled enough to hurt each other, if you really wanted to.”

YN’s words this time are punctuated by soft gasps, though she isn’t sure who exactly was reacting.

“Seeing all of you with each other, seeing how you interact with each other. Then seeing and feeling that you treat me the same way? I realized as soon as we became friends that my mother’s concerns weren’t real. You all have shown me more love and kindness in the past few months that I have ever felt in my whole life, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.” YN’s voice was soft again, though not because she was feeling anything overly negative. In fact, she was almost overwhelmed by the amount of love that she felt for the boys that had helped her realize how gentle people could be.

After a few solid beats of silence, Jimin goes and walks over and pulls YN out of her chair and into a hug.

“I love you too.” He says as he squeezes her, being careful not to be too rough. Before YN can really process anything, she’s in the middle of a group hug, with confessions of love being thrown her way from all sides.

YN can’t help but laugh and tell them that she loves them just as much as they love her, feeling more happiness in that moment than she thought possible.

~~~~~~

Thursday had come much sooner than YN had wanted it to. Sure, it had only been a couple days, but YN was still nervously twisting her hands in her lap during the entire car ride. She was thankful that Jungkook had offered to drive, seeing as her nerves were a wreck.

“Do you want to talk more about what is and isn’t okay?” Jungkook’s sweet voice brings YN out of her reprieve.

“Yeah, um, what sort of things are you okay with?” YN can feel the heat in her ears as she asks the question, silently hoping he will just tell her so she doesn’t have to think about it.

“I’m okay doing whatever needs to be done to keep you safe.” Jungkook’s voice takes on a bit of an edge as he speaks, and YN swallows hard.

“Um okay, well, you already know we will have to share a bed, which we did yesterday so it wouldn’t be so weird. And, well, um, you’ll have to hold my hand and stuff like that.” YN glanced out of the corner of her eye at Jungkook to see if he was reacting badly, but she found him sitting there with an adorable smile on his face, eyes focused on the traffic around them.

“And if she thinks we aren’t real and asks us to kiss?” He asks, turning to look both ways before he crosses over a road and seeming not to pay too much attention to YN or her reactions.

“Um well I-” YN starts, pausing to take a deep breath and steady herself. “I’m okay with it if you are.” Her words are shaky, unsure.

“We don’t have to, YN. It’s okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows slightly as he makes a turn, sensing YN’s discomfort but misreading it as a sign she doesn’t want that kind of intimacy.

“No- I-” YN sighs deeply, twisting the material of the sweater she was wearing between her fingers nervously. Jungkook takes notice of her nervous habit, and he grabs one of her hands in his own as he continues to drive. YN swallows again, feeling her ears burn hotter as she turns to face him a little more. To deny that it was an attractive move would have been akin to some sort of basal, universal mistruth.

“I’m not uncomfortable with it you know, but I don’t want to get used to something that won’t continue.” Her words are soft, the usual bite of her tone is gone, but they are the most sure sounding words he had heard her speak since the whole ordeal had begun.

“YN, baby, if you want physical affection in that way from any of us, all you had to do was let us know.” Jungkook lets out a soft little laugh, giving YN’s hand a small squeeze. Her heart flips at the pet name, so familiar as it falls from his lips.

“But it’s not my place to ask for something I don’t deserve.” The words are out of YN’s mouth before she can tell herself not to say them, that the appropriate response would be to tell the boy that yes, she would love to get more-than-platonic physical affection from them (though it could be easily argued their affection was never platonic in the first place).

“I- I mean that I would absolutely love that sort of affection if you’re willing to give it, um-” YN can feel her face growing hot as she withdraws her hand from Jungkook’s, lacing her fingers together and setting her hands on her lap.

“You deserve everything YN. And you most definitely deserve that kind of affection, we just didn’t want to overstep your boundaries. Any one of us would give you the world if you asked.” Jungkook’s words are simple, and YN can’t help the tears that well up in her eyes. She can feel plainly the love behind his words, and the entire situation is completely overwhelming for her.

She reaches over and grabs his hand again, smiling softly to herself as the car falls into a comfortable silence for the remainder of the ride. YN is grateful, in those moments, that Jungkook isn’t half as loud or crazy as he seems when he’s around Tae or Jimin.

Once they finally pull into the driveway of YN’s family home, YN lets out a shaky breath.

“Promise me you won’t let them hurt me Kookie, please.” It’s a half whisper and it comes out like a whimpering plea. Jungkook can feel the fear that has settled into YN’s bones, and it makes him want to rip the heads off of every single person who’s ever hurt her.

“YN-ah, look at me.” He pauses until she turns to face him, at which point he carefully traces her jawbone. “You’re safe with me. The boys aren’t far away, and nothing will ever hurt you again. You’re ours now, and we don’t let anything happen to our people.”

He looks her dead in the eyes as he speaks, seeming to search for something. YN is looking at him with those big, innocent eyes she always does. Her trust in him, in them, is greater than any fear she had, and he can sense that. And suddenly, their lips connect, soft and sweet. It seems to take all the breath from YN’s lungs and give them more oxygen than ever before all at once, and it’s cut off all too soon for her liking.

Jungkook softly rests his forehead against hers, breathing in sync with her. Absently, he thinks of how both Taehyung and Yoongi will be pouty when they find out he got to be the first one to kiss her, and that just makes him want to do it again and again.

So he does, and YN couldn’t have been happier about it. She wanted to slip into a world where it was just the two of them, nothing else going on, nobody else to worry about.

What she got instead was a very disgruntled looking mother knocking at the window of Jungkook’s car, calling for her to come out. Taking a steadying breath, YN plasters a smile on her face and hops out of the vehicle, to face her mother.

“YN, my dear daughter! It’s so nice to have you back in the home! And who is this handsome devil? Hm? You must really be something special to go for someone like my daughter with your looks.” YN’s mother moves from speaking warmly to YN, to snidely about her to Jungkook.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, it’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. YLN.” Jungkook gives a bow, and YN almost scoffs. She doesn’t like the way he’s being so respectful, though she never would have expected anything else. “And I assure you, it’s your daughter who is settling for me.”

YN gives a smirk at her mother’s slight frown at that comment. Of course he would have noticed the crude remark.

They make their way into YN’s family home, taking their bags up to YN’s bedroom before returning to the living area. YN is pleased to find that her brother had also brought someone, and that there were all sorts of family members milling about the house.

Jungkook stuck close to YN for the entire afternoon and evening, rolling up his sleeves to show off his tattoos at every chance he got. He also tended to stand between YN and either of her parents whenever the opportunity was given to him, which YN appreciated more than anything.

Jungkook also found that YN had purposefully let down the last bit of the barrier that was still in her mind so he had complete access to her thoughts and feelings. This meant that, as soon as YN felt threatened or like something wasn’t quite right, he was there to save the day. He had to admit that YN opening herself up to him like that made the Alpha part of him feel absolutely wonderful.

YN, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to curl up into Jungkook’s arms and have him take her away from there. She was dreading what would happen once everyone else left, seeing as her brother was staying with his girlfriend and neither of her sisters would arrive from college until the next afternoon.

As the people cleared out of the house, YN anxiety levels rose exponentially. The snide remarks were much less hidden as the people left, none of which are missed by either YN or Jungkook. Despite YN trying to field the situation and talk her parents into being a little nicer, they do nothing to mask their ill intent.

YN feels sick to her stomach at the thought of how she once believed that this was the pinnacle of what love felt like, seeking out Jungkook’s soft touches to ease her discomfort. Jungkook, on the other hand, felt more and more like pulverizing both of YN’s parents with each passing second. The anger radiated off of him like heat waves, and honestly, it gave YN more courage to stay calm and not pay attention to what her parents were trying to do. She knew, at the first sight of real danger, she would have Jungkook there in an instant to protect her, and three of the others outside within five minutes.

And so, things went as smoothly as was to be expected the entirety of those first few hours. YN and Jungkook even went up to go to bed without any real issues, which YN was more than grateful for.

The two decompressed in YN’s room for a long while, with Jungkook laying his head on YN’s chest so he could listen to her heartbeat as they both processed the events of the day. YN ran her fingers through Jungkook’s beautiful mane as she tried to figure out what her next moves were. She felt oddly safe, which she completely attributed to Jungkook and the rest of the pack.

It was nearing midnight when YN stirred under Jungkook, carefully moving his half-asleep from to the side so she could sneak downstairs for a glass of water. She hadn’t realized just how thirsty she was until she tried to swallow and her mouth was just completely dry, so down the stairs she went.

Jungkook, being the big baby he is, insisted on her giving him a kiss before she left, asking her if she needed him to come with. She just giggled, telling him not to be silly and to go back to resting.

YN was as quiet as she could be going down the stairs, not wanting to wake anyone up. She had gotten all the way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass for water when the deep voice of her father startled her.

“What in the world are you doing down here?” His voice is gruff and slurred. Turning around to face him, YN can smell the alcohol from across the room.

“Nothing sir, I’m just getting water.” YN’s voice is small and she can’t bear to look at her father as he stalks closer to her.

“I know what you’re doing with that boy upstairs. The only way some thing like you could have landed that boy was by opening your whorish legs for him. Did you even last a whole week before you were on your knees, huh?” His words bring tears to YN’s eyes even as she wills herself not to cry.

Upstairs, Jungkook’s eyes snap open as he realizes what is going on, feeling the distress coming from YN.

“N-No sir.” YN’s voice is so unsure, she even sounded like she was lying to herself.

“Yeah right” He spits at her feet, grunting as his grimy hand reaches out to grip her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “A bitch like you? If you didn’t open your legs, you must be running drugs for him. Is that it? Uh?”

YN struggles to break away, to deny the claims even as her father’s grip gets tighter on her jawbone. He takes another swig from the bottle he had been drinking, grunting and throwing it across the room when he finds it empty.

Harshly, he tosses her head from his grip, another crude grunt falling from his lips as he watches his daughter fall to the ground.

“I never understood why your uncle liked a worthless bitch like you so much. That house was supposed to go to us, and here you are, living in it like you deserve to live there! Like you took care of them! Like you wanted it!” His words get more and more harsh as his face turns blotchy, anger and disgust lacing his words.

As he raises his hand to strike the girl that is cowering before him, making claims about how this is all she will ever be good for, YN squeezes her eyes shut and prepares for the pain that is to come. She waits for the familiar sting, her heart seeming to beat out of her chest as one beat passes. Then another.

She hears a sickening crunch, but doesn’t feel... anything. Then there comes another, and another, and the various sounds of flesh hitting flesh. YN still doesn’t feel anything, so she slowly cracks open her eyes.

What she finds when she opens them is one seething Jeon Jungkook absolutely destroying the man who had tormented her her entire life. She can both see and hear bones snap under his sharp blows. She can see the blood pour from his split skin. She can hear the too-loud cries of her father as he tries to harm Jungkook in vain.

Despite the carnage in front of her, YN can’t help but let out a happy sort of smile as she rushes forward, not wanting Jungkook to kill the man. There isn't a doubt in her mind that murder is the only thing on Jungkook's mind.

“Kook, Kookie! Stop!” YN yells, dodging his elbows as she tries to get into his line of sight. “Don’t kill him!”

YN finally manages to grab onto one of Jungkook’s arms and tug him backwards slightly. He looks quickly at YN before turning and spitting on her father, growling out a quick “Don’t you dare touch our YN ever again ” before turning fully to YN and drawing her into his arms.

He was covered in blood, but in this moment, YN really couldn’t have cared any less because it all felt like it was over. She pulled away from him slightly, not caring at all that he had gotten blood on her clothes, and tugged him down to her level for a kiss. She could feel his muscles still flexing even as his arms fully wrap around her frame, though she knows she isn't in any sort of danger.

“Thank you” she breathed, tears slipping down her face even as she felt nothing but a wild sort of happiness.

“Come on baby, let’s get our things. The boys will be here soon, we can go home.” Jungkook presses another kiss onto her lips as he brushes the spot on her jaw where her father had gripped it, wanting to wipe away all traces of the disgusting man off of his precious Omega.

YN holds onto his hand tightly as they make their way upstairs, gathering the few things they had gotten out hastily. It dawned on YN that it looked almost as if they never really planned to stay there at all, with how little they had unpacked, and she was perfectly okay with that.

It wasn’t until they stepped outside of YN’s bedroom that they met their next challenger. YN’s mother was absolutely fuming as she ran up the stairs, screeching in that horrible high pitch of hers that they were going to pay for what they did.

“YN! You filthy bitch! You ugly whore! You scheming cunt!” The screeches come as YN’s heart drops into her stomach. She feels the way Jungkook tenses beside her, ready and willing to hurt the woman if she deserves it.

“What the fuck did you do to my husband? What the fuck is wrong with you! We took you in, we cared for you, we loved you! We fed you and clothed you! And this is how you repay us? Huh?” YN’s mother is too close to them now, though a sharp growl from Jungkook sends the furious woman back a couple steps. She may have been completely irrational, but she wasn't actually stupid.

“No I-” YN starts, at least trying to talk some sense into the woman.

“NO! NO!? You ugly little whore! You and that freak need to get out of this house, right now!” YN swears her mother is going to pop a blood vessel, and honestly, she’s not sure she would really care.

“Mom please-” Again, YN is cut off by her mother’s devilish voice.

“No! We never should have taken you into our home! We never should have signed the papers to make you our responsibility! You and that oaf you call a boyfriend are just a pair of worthless bastards!” At this point, even Jungkook’s warning growls and glares do nothing to make the woman back away, but it isn’t until she reaches out her hand to push YN that he really steps in. He captures the woman’s wrist in his hand with a practiced sort of ease, stepping between YN and her mother before he speaks to the enraged woman.

“Listen here you worthless hag, you are going to step aside and let our darling girl pass. You are going to attend to your dipshit husband before he bleeds to death, and you are never going to speak to YN again. Do you understand me?” Jungkook’s voice holds an edge that YN had never heard before. She can almost hear the way her mother’s wrist muscles strain, threatening to tear as Jungkook’s unrelenting grip tightens.

“I said, do you understand?” His voice drops into a lower register as he motions for YN to grab the bags and move past him. As much as he is sure she wouldn’t mind her mother getting hurt, he doesn’t want to do anything more in front of his sweet girl.

YN brushes past him with the bags, oddly calm for everything she had witnessed. She is sure that her lovely Kookie will take care of everything, and that there will be three other boys waiting for her outside, ready to whisk her away.

When she opens the door, she is immediately swept up by someone, the bags dropping to the ground as she is spun around. It had only been a few hours, but the events of the day had left the entire pack on edge.

“Thank the heavens you’re okay.” It isn’t until he speaks that YN realizes that it’s Yoongi who has hold of her. YN doesn’t say anything, instead clinging onto the boy like he was her world. Yoongi carries her to the car, going to put her in one of the seats until she looks at him with those beautiful eyes of hers and asks him not to go, and suddenly she is lovingly curled up in his lap.

Meanwhile, Jungkook is only just coming out of the house as YN is settled into the car. He spots Hoseok and Jin putting the bags in the back of one of the cars. The two rush up to him and ask if anything else needs done, to which Jungkook shakes his head. He silently hands his keys to Hoseok as he heads over to the passengers side of his own vehicle.

“I had to break the woman’s wrist. I don’t know if the man will live or not. We should leave.” Jungkook hops into the vehicle, collapsing down into the seat in exhaustion.

Hoseok and Jin share a sideways glance before they quickly switch keys. Out of the two people that had been in that house, Jungkook was the more likely to need medical attention, so Jin would drive him back to the mansion. Hobi would follow in the other vehicle, keeping an extra eye on YN and making sure Jin got updates as needed.

They all knew that there would be plenty of questions to be asked and answered in the morning, but for the time being, they were focused on getting YN and Jungkook home and rested up.

~~~~~~

Once they pull into their driveway, Jungkook and Jin go straight into the house, knowing that it would be their job to brief the others about what had happened. Yoongi refuses to let YN down, carrying her into the house as Hoseok opens the doors for the two of them.

“I’ll keep her in my room tonight, to make sure she’s okay. You go make sure Kookie's alright.” Yoongi speaks softly to Hobi when they reach the living room, giving the man a soft smile.

“You know what to do if you need anything.” Hoseok says simply, returning Yoongi’s soft smile as he gently rubs YN’s back. She hadn’t put the remaining barriers back up in her mind, so both boys knew that YN was absolutely exhausted and just trying to figure out what in the world the jumble of her thoughts were.

Honestly, her brain was a mess but it was clear that YN really didn’t want to be alone right now, which the boys respected.

Yoongi didn’t set YN down until he very carefully placed her on his bed, looking at her in the light properly for the first time. She had a very visible bruise on her jaw from where her father had gripped it and blood all over her clothes from Jungkook.

“Go take a shower princess, I’ll get you something to sleep in.” Yoongi’s voice is soft as he gently moves her head to get a better look at the bruise. He couldn’t deny that it made him angry that someone had marked his Omega. “It’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

YN just looks at him with those big eyes of hers, sadness in her gaze even as she felt comfort in his gentleness. With a little more gentle prodding, she makes her way into the bathroom, Yoongi getting her a fresh towel for when she finishes.

She spends quite a while in the shower, the warm water relaxing her as she tries her best to scrub every trace of her family from her skin. It took YN a lot of thinking to decide whether the entire ordeal had been worth it or not, but in the end she decided that it had been. If they wouldn’t have gone, YN didn’t know if she ever would have gotten the guts to admit that she wanted more intimate affection from the boys she loved so much.

As she stepped out of the shower and wrapped up in the towel, YN secretly hoped that Yoongi would kiss her too. She would be lying to herself if she said that she wasn’t incredibly attracted to everything about the man, but she couldn’t see herself taking that step on her own.

Securing the towel around her, YN stepped out of the ensuite and into Yoongi’s room. She found a pile of clothes on the end of the bed and Yoongi scrolling through his phone.

“I got you one of my hoodies to sleep in, baby. I know how much you like them.” Yoongi speaks without looking up from his phone, smiling to himself as YN grabs the clothes he had left for her. She changes quickly, a smile breaking onto her face when she realizes that Yoongi had gotten her her favorite pair of sleep shorts.

When she came back out of the bathroom, Yoongi had put his phone up on the nightstand and turned out the overhead light. He had the light on the nightstand on it’s lowest setting, which made her feel oddly safe in the already dark-themed room.

“I got your bunny, so you can stay here. I don’t want you out of my sight just yet.” Yoongi’s voice is deeper than usual as he stands and heads over to where YN had stopped. He could tell that she was unsure of what to do, and he was perfectly alright taking the lead.

Yoongi hands the small girl her stuffed animal, a smile gracing his face as she squeezes the thing to her chest. They had all noticed right away that she really liked to cuddle a stuffed animal when she slept, which they found to be completely adorable. Secretly, they had each made sure they had a small stuffed animal of some sort in their room for her, just in case.

“Thank you Yoongs. I-” She paused as she looked up at him with those same wide, innocent eyes. Damn, was he a sucker for those eyes of hers. “I really don’t want to sleep alone tonight.” Her voice is only just above a whisper, love and trust filling her eyes as she looks up at Yoongi.

“Kook is right, you know.” Yoongi says the words absently as he draws her into his embrace. “We would give you anything you ever wanted. You’re our darling girl, our princess, our baby, our Omega. You should have let us know you wanted more intimate affection.” He planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

YN pulled back slightly, brow furrowed slightly in confusion as she looked up at Yoongi’s face.

“Why?” Her voice was still ever so soft, ever so innocent.

“Oh darling, you know exactly what I mean.” Yoongi moves one of his hands up to trace her jaw, ever so careful of the bruise that had formed. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since that first day when you found me in the woods.”

YN can feel her ears heat up as her lips part slightly at Yoongi’s confession, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between the two of them but being far too chicken to actually do it.

Luckily, Yoongi really could read her mind, and he took it upon himself to bring their lips together. YN felt the world around her spin and fade away as the breath was stolen from her lungs. The only thing she could think about, the only thing she could feel , was the soft pressure of Yoongi’s lips against her own.

It seems like hours before they disconnect, drawing a soft gasp from YN as Yoongi lovingly strokes the side of her face with his thumb, watching her as those eyes he loves so much flutter open. In that moment, it feels like it’s just the two of them, suspended in time and space. Yoongi feels complete as he smiles down at the girl, the love and trust so clear in her eyes it’s almost painful for him to look at.

And just like that, the silent moment is gone as YN lets out an adorable little yawn, rubbing at one of her eyes absently.

“Come on princess, let’s get you to bed. Things have been rough for you today, hm?” Yoongi moves to the side and gets into his bed, frowning when YN doesn’t really move. With a quick assessment of her thoughts, he realizes that she’s unsure because she doesn’t want to assume anything or overstep her boundaries or- well, she’s completely overthinking the entire situation.

“YN, come ‘ere. I’m not going to make you sleep alone tonight.” Yoongi makes a motion with one hand as he draws the covers back for her with the other, a soft smile gracing his face. YN runs a hand through her hair, taking short, quick steps to get to where Yoongi was.

If she was really being honest with herself, she craved nothing more than the complete, devout protection that the pack gave to her. That Yoongi gave to her. It made her feel like she was really worth something, like she was cared for in the exact same way she cared for them.

Absently, as she curled up next to Yoongi and laid her head on his chest, she thought of how most other people would have thought what Jungkook did was too much, too violent. YN couldn’t have explained to anyone why she felt the way she did, but she honestly trusted him, trusted them , more now.

They had all told her many times that they would protect her, that they would keep her safe, that nothing would ever hurt her again, but she didn’t really believe them. How could she? Sure, she knew that they had done some unsavory things in the past, but that didn’t mean that they would actually do anything for her. Why would they? She was riddled with self doubt, even if she did her best to hide it away.

As YN lay on Yoongi’s chest, listening to the slow beating of his heart in time with his deep breaths and thinking about how she felt about everything that had happened, she slipped closer and closer to sleep. By the second, her eyes were more and more heavy, the calming scent of Yoongi enveloping her completely and calming her to the point it was practically impossible for others to tell if she was asleep or awake.

Yoongi is wide awake, on the other hand, breathing softly and mulling over the day as he plays with YN’s hair. For whatever reason, it calmed him greatly to have the girl there, on his chest. He felt like he was doing what he was meant to by having the Omega so close to him. He sighed to himself, wholly unable to tell if his intense liking for the girl was due to his Alpha nature or if it was because of who she was. He wanted it to be because of her, because of who she was instead of just because of their natures, but he couldn’t be sure . After all, he had felt very similarly when Jimin and Taehyung had first come into the pack, and while he loved them both dearly, part of that affection was because they were younger Betas and he felt he needed to protect them.

Later, Yoongi would blame his thinking of the two boys on them showing up in the room, but honestly, he wasn’t mad about it. Taehyung and Jimin burst into the room like a pack of wild animals, both of them wanting to see YN for themselves.

“Yah! No! Calm down!” Yoongi hissed out as soon as he realized what was going on, anger lacing his words as he accosted the younger men “YN is resting, can’t you see that?”

The two boys stop in their tracks and sheepishly actually look at the scene before them, both of them finding the way that YN had curled up to be adorable. Jimin was the first to apologize, rocking back and forth on his feet as he put his hands behind his back, blush tinting his cheeks. Taehyung sighed as he repeated Jimin’s apology, pouting as he looked at the scene before him.

YN had one hand curled up, gripping onto Yoongi’s shirt right next to her face, the other clutched her stuffed bunny to her side. Her lips were slightly parted and her eyes were softly fluttering open. They didn’t even have to read each other’s minds to know that it was difficult for all of them not to coo at the adorable girl.

“It’s okay YN, you can sleep. It’s okay.” Yoongi ran his fingers through her hair as he spoke softly, wanting to calm her.

“Taehunie? Minie?” Her voice was laced with sleep as she mumbled out the words, barely lifting her head even as she turned it to the door. Her eyes were glassy as she looked towards where the two other boys stood.

They were in sync with each other as they both moved towards the bed, kneeling down to look YN in the face once they were to the side of the bed.

“YN-ah, baby, are you okay?” Taehyung is the one to speak first this time, one hand reaching out to touch the side of her face softly. “We wanted to see you.”

YN looks at Taehyung with those same beautifully innocent eyes, a smile creeping onto her face at his words. “I’m okay Tae. Safe.” Her words were much more clear, though she didn’t speak in a full sentence. It took them looking into her mind to realize that she meant that she felt safe with them, not some other random thing.

“It’s good you feel safe! We love you, we always want you to feel safe with us.” It’s Jimin who speaks this time, reaching a hand out and laying it on her arm as he spoke.

“Safe. Mine.” Her words are back to being half mumbles as she snuggles back into Yoongi’s chest, feeling safe. Because of their mind link, they understood that she meant that she felt safe with them and that she was glad she was with them.

The two boys at the side of the bed shift their focus to Yoongi at the same time, matching pouts on their faces.

“Hyung, can we stay?”

“Please?”

“I don’t wanna leave her.”

“Yeah Hyung, me neither.”

Yoongi puts up one of his hands to silence them, sighing deeply. He knows he’s gonna regret it, but he looks down at YN and tells them that it’s her decision if she wants them to stay or not.

“YN~” They whine at the same time, doing their best to give her perfect puppy dog eyes. “Can we stay with you, please?” YN giggles at their antics, and nods into Yoongi’s chest.

“Yeah, you can stay.” Her words were muffled because of the position of her head, but the two boys had no problems hearing her.

Jimin is the first one to climb back into the bed, quickly shimmying under the covers and wrapping his arms around YN. Taehyung climbs in directly after him, doing the same thing to Jimin that he had done to YN.

Yoongi just sighs as he looks at the three other people that had gotten into his bed, a smile on his face despite his outward annoyance. He really did love them, and if he was being completely honest with himself, having the three seek him out for comfort made his Alpha feel absolutely wonderful .

YN felt incredibly safe and happy like that, wrapped up between the three. She felt loved, cared for, wanted. Within a minute of the two boys clambering into the bed, she was completely out, sleeping peacefully.

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