#what is bsd plot again?
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sherxplained · 9 months ago
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So, long awaited Fyodor's backstory.... Asagiri dropped the bomb on us just like that, huh?
First of all, he looks so fine. And we established he has a thing for being underground and chained up, et cetera.
For all we knew, he could be the very first ability user ever, or if he even the one who's created these abilities in the first place. Hence, his obsession and all these talk about "God, Men, and Devil" and why he's also there in alternate universe.
His existence is a crime and his punishment is to always continued existing.
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I do hope he won't be the classic case of "I'm immortal and I want to end it all" and that only can be achieved in a world without ability.
Or, he simply misleading Sigma and in extensions, Dazai and Agency (unlikely though)
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little-blurry-stars5 · 8 months ago
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dead apple summery cuz i recently bought volume 3 of it :3 (warning- SPOLIERS!)
gay gay homosexual gay, dazais a whore, big dragon made out of abilties??? rashomon eating up her appearance, chuuya on a motorcycle, fyodor came in at some point??? idk, uh dazai shoving chuuya into his crotch (the fog was NOT in the room with us), chuuya uses corruption !!, shin soukoku is gay as fucking fuck, atsushi goes like half tiger, some old dude who tourtred atsushi when he was like 6 ends up as skull or maybe he already was in the first place idk, soukoku is very gay, dazai meows a couple times i think, fyozai or something, uhh yeah i think thats it.
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nyxi-pixie · 7 months ago
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i love media that focuses more on character than plot and bsd does it so well. like every single character is so beautifully written and asgr treats all of them with such care. i know people complain about the death bait but i think its just. hes not going to kill characters unless that is what makes sense for their arc and their story has been told. its why odasaku is so fixated on not killing: because to him, a character is a real being and you cant be so loose with taking lives when you have full control of one.
even when characters die before youve really had a chance to get to know them properly (the flags, and bram now too, for example), asgr still does a rlly good job of establishing them quickly without leaving them one dimensional. they have a lot of life to them even with so little time to show it. contrast that to something like jjk where you could sit with a character for a while and still not feel like you have a good grasp on Who They Are, and. yikes.
I can emotionally attach to bsd characters who show up for a singular chapter of a backstory light novel. jjk gives a character a whole mini arc and theyre still just nothing to me bc gege, like a lot of writers atm, has characters as plot devices rather than people. and asgr does the opposite.
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lil-vibes · 2 years ago
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i would die if you wrote anything expanding on that post about chuuya being taken over by baki and just floating all over the place and speaking with an echo until he gets to dazai at the ADA office - that was a great idea, very cool
yooo thanks man !!!
here you go, a little more brainworms regarding that au!
• when Baki wakes up in a back alleyway and tries to stand up they overdo it and snap Chuuya's spine in the process. they try to walk and all of a sudden they are on the ground with mild pains from the vessel' legs. they aren't sure how a human body works, so for now they decide to just float.
• Baki, in my hc, is very curious for just about everything because it's quite rare that they 'view' the world through a humans' eyes
• piggybacking off of that, i think that they'd have trouble expressing their thoughts in the beggining (speaking in short, sometimes conflicting/unfinished sentences) because using human vocal cords without snapping them is difficult and also words have changed since the last time they were actively using them. Ranpo just chucks a dictionary at them and they absolutely ABSORB every word
• i also think that they'd want to sword fight with both Fukuzawa and Golden Demon/ Kouyou for fun
• they can make Dazai float and he just about gives up on life ( something something 'your human existence can not deny mine' yeah me thinks)
• i personally think that theyd be slightly more chill than expected, however when they get upset, or emotions generally run high, the control over the body begings to wobble. some examples of that being:
- the overlapping voices are the most common ones. they are a mass manifested through war and suffering and vengeance, thus Baki has to be extremely careful of how loud they speak because there's a great chance that someone's eardrums will explode.
- corruption markings are a damn near permanent fixture on Chuuya's skin, more so to help remind everyone that this isn't Chuuya in control right now (Dazai is constantly stressed about it, and has to consistently tell himself that it's fine), but they tend to grow and glow and move around like they are alive too, as if also taking offence that Baki is agitated. they also burn if touched directly
- people around an Agitated Baki feel like they are about to poof out of existence simply by being too close. Mori nearly dies once because Baki can see his general soul and is not pleased. it kinda feels like your blood suddenly starts running the other way, or your like heart is beating backwards and double in speed. not fun !
- sometimes birds fly into the windows. maybe the sky tints red, maybe there is ringing in the ears, static in the brain of those around them. maybe looking at Chuuya's form hurts a little, burns a little, blurs around the edges. what were his features again? what color were his eyes? his hair?
• Baki loves Chuuya and learning all about him :] ( "and his name? what is his name? we would love to know who our vessel is."
"it's Chuuya Nakahara.."
the entity thinks, hums for a bit, vibrations making the lights swim around it, then pleased, it smiles "hmm Chuuya... it suits him a lot" )
• disregarding stormbringer for a moment, when asked how exactly one traps a being like it, Baki kindly informs them that there are runes carved into every bone inside Chuuya. yes, they do mean every single one.
• also, and that's a little.... gruesome, but it's a misconception that Baki and Chuuya share only a consciousness. "it's like that most of the time, but right now what you are looking at is ... ah, let's say, our clothes. we are woven in-between his skin and bones and every blood vessel, but also we are separate. it's like a hand pupet? we are under his skin :)"
• Baki absolutely says unhinged things like its normal
• they also find it funny to tease Ranpo because they recognise just how smart of a human he is but also he's just that to them. a human
• i also have this scene when someone complains about the sun or something so Baki just,,, shifts either the Earth or the Sun a bit so that it's not shining directly at the person. everyone FREAKS abt this btw
• Baki also loves the Akutagawas and Kouyou bc Chuuya loves them :]
some skk things bc i love them:
• Baki tells Dazai, hand pressed against his heart, looking him dead in the eyes with that slightly unhinged expression "no wonder you hold onto warm things, for you have been warm once, then never again. no wonder you seek to be warm again" and Dazai just has to go through his day after that
• okay last thing off of the top of my head, but somehow they (the ada) get into the topic of worship and Baki casually drops that yes! they get prayers sometimes but nothing even begins to compare to the feeling of the worship from their most devoted person. naturally everyone wants to know who that is, and Baki tilts their head a little and then points to a Very Confused Dazai (Ranpo and Kunikida are exhanging money in the backround btw).
("but... i don't worship the hat rack?? what?"
"oh, but that can't be" they sway a little from their perch on Dazai's desk, appearing as if deep in thought. after the day, Dazai knows better. "but we can distinctly recal feeling a sort of warmth from you. say, how do you define worship? because it can be food offerings too. or thoughts about us or even just the pure, unrelenting faith that as long as you believe in us, your wish will be made into existence"
Dazai blinks at them, stunned.
"so now, has your answer changed?" )
• LAST one. Ranpo asks them if Dazai has ever nullified corruption with a kiss and Baki is like we think so? but Dazai denies that hard. Baki counters by saying that every place where 'coruption' has been nullified burns to this day. twice on left the wrist, once at the forearm. once at the right hand, once at the cheek, and once ot the lips. Dazai may or may not work harder to resolve the issue after that (he's never gonna beat the gay accusations)
(end of skk things hh)
• when it's time to surrender themselves back to Chuuyas will, Baki tells the ada + the Akutagawas and Kouyou, that when their time finally comes, when Chuuya is either one of them or dust in the wind, they will remember the kindness they have experienced. that they will live forever in the mind of a god
• Chuuya is so, so confused after waking up
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sskk-manifesto · 8 days ago
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#God this episode is so so good.#Tachihara sweetie I'm sorry I never talk about you. I swear I love him so so much he's an amazing character. I love his story and conflict–#so much.#This arc is peak bsd writing / meta literature plot. The tearing page moment is insane. The sentiments expressed here are so–#deep and emotional. The theme of the ordinary man. God and the force of human spirit.#Fighting against one's own destiny and finding the reason for own's existence. It's all subjects that are so interesting to reflect over–#and they're elaborated on in such a cool and compelling way. I love Dazai's quote on the strength of humans who–#“are caught in the tempest of contingency and scream‚ run and shed blood” so much. It moves me deeply.#The animation was really neat. A lot of detailed sequences. The wind was animated beautifully. The colors were so pretty and the stained–#glass visuals still go so hard.#Again I love Tachihara's conflict so much!!! I'm so into tachi/gin too... I know it's more of a Tachihara x oc since. Well.#We know little to nothing about Gin. But there's still so much spice to it... What do you MEAN Tachihara stabbed Gin !!!!!!#I'm so into the drama. AND the kind of relationship born from the big brother complex™ they both (may) share. AND the work partners.#AND the hiding their true identities to the other. How could I not love them...#Still believe season 4 should have ended where episode 11 ends but spreading it all in 12 episodes to allow it all better pacing.#I really think this season is great but the pacing really is its weakest point.#Of the sky casino arc they could have made a movie if they wanted to. Or just a cool arc at the start of season 5 that can work too!!#(((and not put ch 84-88 at only ep3. And then animate it grossly. But that's another talk.)))#Anyways 100000/10 what a good episode. This really was peak B/ungou Stray Dogs. And Akutagawa isn't even in it!!!#random rambles#Very hot take but I don't think Lucy should jump off a sky casino for a man. Sorry#My feelings for atsu/lucy are so fluctuating. I could write a whole other tags rant on it.#Actually I will
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note-boom · 1 year ago
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Just putting in my two cents for this episode.
One? Fukuchi is ANNOYINGLY op, sorry, but in a really interesting way so I'm also not too mad. I also get slight (just slight) vibes that he's also on the good guys' side? Either he will be defeated as a villain by the end of this or something will come up that actually, he time travel-orchestrated all this all along and he was always on the side of the good guys, idk.
Two? "Sorry, I skipped literature class"
Tachihara, you are PART of literature class
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doctorweebmd · 1 year ago
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unfortunately bungo stray dogs is the epitome of a show/story that would be so good if it was good
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is this mori slander,,, possibly?! but hey at least i put kouyou in a blurb
mori: “and you be careful madam or you’ll turn my pretty head with your flattery.”
kouyou*girlbossing*: “i’ve often wished i could turn your head…. on a spit over a slow fire.”
all the other silly ppl at that long ass table mori conducts his silly little plot altering, earth shattering unreasonably devious meetings: “oh?!!?”
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inkykeiji · 1 year ago
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me: yeah, i’m totally done with genshin, so bored of it, never ever playing again
childe: so this is how justice is done in fontaine
oh fuck off
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threadmonster · 1 year ago
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I don't really know how to describe the feeling? FOMO somehow, maybe? I don't like it though.
It's like when there's two or three popular anime series and everyone is only talking about them and you just sit there after giving them a try like, "yeah, okay I see the appeal but... *munches on some popcorn while rewatching an anime from 10 years ago*"
I don't hate the series that this applies to. I kinda feel like maybe I just don't get it? I have felt this way even in middle school about books.
This is more about experiences outside of tumblr.
#{domino rambles after dark}#that post about how saturated each season is these days and there's no time to watch them all or enjoy them or remember them?#and you have THAT MUCH being aired throughout the year just to only see talk or hype about maybe 5 tops?#again outside of tumblr if i can easily control what i see then it doesn't count#bsd s5? only see it here#a lot of the hype this season is jjk and i get it! i enjoyed s1 and it got me actually watching anime again! but also ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠`⁠)⁠┌#i don't have that much interest is s2 and so somehow it's like watching out the window while everyone is having fun#am i also having fun? yes! but still...#that's my 5:30 AM two cents because i was starting to fall asleep#since i am at work falling asleep would be bad#after work i guess i'm gonna go to the stupid store and get some ingredients for ice cream#i wanna make ice cream i have a theory and want to prove it right#it's getting exhausting have to stop periodically to recap a book because i then have to remember the important plot details#when i'm distracted by my love of the character interactions and development#i worked 4 nights in a row and have somehow only read 1.5 books partially due to that#it's fun! but i also lose interest quickly that way#this is when i would like to say 'okay that's enough i'm going to sleep' but alas (⁠╥⁠���⁠╥⁠)#this is also primpted by apparently the ceo of mappa saying yuri on ice didn't bring them enough money#but simultaneously not conforming whether the movie is actually being worked on or just canned.#okay now i will shut up because i think this is a lot for the tags to handle
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faux-ee · 2 years ago
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i like almost every bsd character bcs they r insane and mentally il. so is every drrr! character but i hardly find any appeal in the latter. Its bcs drrr characters are sort of archetypal in their craziness but bsd characters are true tumblrinas
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wintersettled · 1 year ago
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Deciding to choose peace (now pretending beast doesnt exist and never happened)
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littleminxofspades · 1 year ago
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Sometimes I wonder if No Longer Human actually gives Dazai a kind of immortality in a Deadpool-esque way*. I didn’t think this until the last episode and now that 111 confirmed he didn’t die and does say “you can’t kill me”…
Idk it’s just it’s such a specific way to say that in that context. Not “I didn’t die” or “you didn’t kill me”, it’s “you can’t kill me” - which iirc he’s only ever said before this when someone tried to use an ability against him. But a gun to the head isn’t an ability and Fyodor avoided using abilities on him, so it doesn’t make as much sense here. Maybe I’m just talking out my arse tho lmao
*Note: I know Deadpool isn’t fully immortal as his ability is regeneration, which is why I used him as an example. It would make no sense if Dazai was fully immortal but if he is just really fucking hard to kill? That would make sense
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chapter 1 -> chapter 111
bonus: ch. 101
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thewickedjazzy · 24 days ago
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Special week: Blurred Lines for Kinktober.
♡featuring: jjk & bsd x afab! reader.
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ᡣ𐭩PHASE 1: geto & chuuya x reader
♡synopsis: being a movie star in the jjk world has its perks and pitfalls, especially when you find yourself face-to-face with four swoon-worthy men. to make things even more complicated, you end up sandwiched between chuuya and geto in one night.
♡warnings: ņsfw, mdņi 18+, established plot, smųt with plot, characters are aged up or in their 20s, threesome, double penetration, cum mentioned, double cream pie, unprotected sex, fingering, degradation 'slut' ... not proofreaded, ig that's it?
♡word count & a/n: 5.2k, a special thank you & a smooch to @remlionheart for helping my ass write this and feeding my brain with her sweet ideas. it was so amusing and fun to write that i couldn't stop giggling. this fic is dedicated to my bbg @bittysuguro
[check the jjk & bsd special week masterlist]
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“what do you mean my card got declined?!” a furious voice echoes across the pristine, high-end louis vuitton boutique.
you pause mid-step, glancing over your shoulder. the boutique is one of the most luxurious on omotesando street, and you haven't expected any kind of outburst here, of all places and you can’t help but arch an eyebrow, pondering if he's trying to pay with monopoly money or if his bank account has suddenly taken a nosedive.
the subject of the chaos stands by the counter, fuming—he’s a redheaded man in a black designer coat with a flat cap pulled low over his striking blue eyes. he looks like he just walked out of a fashion editorial, except for the part where he is practically roaring at the terrified cashier and waving a gold card like a weapon.
you find yourself blinking once again—what in the world is going on?
“sir, i ran it three times, and each time—” the cashier stammers, flinching as the redhead leans over the counter like he is about to blow the place up.
“i know there’s money on it! RUN IT AGAIN!” he growls, and you swear you can see veins popping in his neck.
before the poor cashier can even protest further, another man saunters into view, tall, lean, and wearing the most obnoxiously casual yet designer outfit. white hair peeks out from under a pair of dark sunglasses, and despite the clear chaos, he is wearing the cockiest grin you’d ever seen.
“tsk..no need to get so worked up,” the white-haired man drawled, arms laden with five louis vuitton bags. “your poor is showing.”
the redhead whirls on him, eyes blazing. “what did you just say, you asshole?”
the taller man stands there unfazed with his shit grin spreading wider. “you heard me, short stack.”
the redhead’s whole body stiffens, and you half expect him to launch himself across the store. you are only a few paces away, casually browsing the new bags collection, but now you find yourself watching the scene unfold like a deer caught in headlights.
“oh, please,” the white-haired man replies with a chuckle, waving his hand dismissively. “you sure you wanna do this, kid?”
at that moment, the shorter guy’s feet literally lift off the ground as he floats up toward the white-haired man, arm cocking back for a punch. it's like some weird gravity-defying stunt, and you can't help but stare, unsure whether you are hallucinating or if this is a really elaborate prank. you half-expect someone to jump out and yell, “surprise! you’re on candid camera!” while someone else films your bewildered expression.
the punch swings forward but… stops. midair.
“what the—” the redhead sputters, his fist hovering a mere inch from the smug man’s face, like an invisible barrier is blocking it.
“oh,” the taller man snickers, “you actually tried.”
just as things are about to get out of hand, a third man appeared—a taller figure with dark hair tied back wearing a serene expression as if he just strolled in from a yoga session. he places a hand on the redhead’s shoulder, gently pulling him back to the ground.
“hey man, let’s not destroy the boutique today, alright?” he says, tone weary yet unbelievably calm, like he is used to this kind of chaos. his gaze shifts to the white-haired man whilst rolling his eyes. “saturo, stop antagonizing everyone you meet. people are staring.”
the redhead grumbles something under his breath, glaring daggers at the taller man—saturo?—who simply chuckles back at him.
just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, the fiery-haired man still glaring at gojo, like he’d just stolen his lunch money—suddenly turns his gaze toward you as if he can feel your eyes boring into him. “what are you staring at?”
he takes a step toward you, and you feel your body tense up like a live wire. you can't help but blink back at him, because honestly, what are you supposed to say? "oh sorry, just trying to figure out why a five-foot ball of rage is levitating in a louis vuitton boutique?"
before you can formulate any semblance of a response, a smooth voice cuts in, dripping with nonchalance, “now, now, chuuya, no need to take your frustration out on innocent bystanders.”
the ginger-haired man—chuuya, you think you heard—glare flickers with surprise as a tall man with messy brown hair sidles up next to him, his brown trench coat swaying with his lazy steps. you barely register him before he sweeps his hand out, pushing chuuya aside like a piece of furniture. “pardon my associate’s behavior. he’s always a little testy when his card gets declined.”
you blink. “huh…?”
the brown-haired man gives you a dazzling smile, the kind that should come with a warning label. “ahh but you…” he trails off, letting his dark eyes roam over your figure with a look of pure delight. “such a wonderful sight. how can such a radiant beauty even exist in this world?” his voice dips, smooth and syrupy, and you can practically hear the faint sound of violins playing in the background.
chuuya’s eye twitches as he scowls at dazai. “are you seriously doing this right now?”
dazai ignores him entirely, stepping closer to you. “osamu dazai, by the way. and you must be the goddess gracing us with your presence today. It’s an honor to bask in your light.” he flashes you a grin, the kind that looks practiced but somehow genuine, and you’re not sure if you should be flattered or call security.
“i—uh—” you stammer, caught off guard by the sudden shift in the situation.
before you can utter another word out, the white-haired man—saturo, you assume, based on the way the other man addressed him—suddenly whips around, his sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose just enough to reveal his gorgeous icy blue eyes, narrowing his gaze on you.
his entire demeanour shifts in an instant, going from casual smugness to absolute starstruck fanboy in 0.5 seconds. “wait… wait a damn minute—” his eyes widen, and he practically leaps forward, shoving dazai to the side like an afterthought. “you… you’re—no way, it's you! you’re my favourite movie star!”
dazai, now comically stumbling from the shove, frowns, “hey, i was talking first!”
saturo doesn’t even hear him, his attention laser-focused on you as he runs a hand through his white hair, grinning like an excited puppy. “holy shit, i’ve seen all your movies! you’re incredible! i mean, not just pretty—you’re talented too! that last film? chef’s kiss. truly. pure brilliance.”
you stare at him flabbergasted by the sudden barrage of praise. “uh… thanks?”
saturo claps his hands together and then turns to dazai with a smug smirk. “sorry, what were you saying? something about basking in her light?”
dazai, ever the smooth operator, recovers quickly, “wait a minute…” he muses, leaning slightly closer to saturo, “you know, your voice is kind of… nice.” he cocks his head as if discovering a new piece of an intriguing puzzle. “almost like i’ve heard it somewhere before… perhaps in a mirror?”
saturo's eyebrows shoot up, a look of surprise briefly crossing his face before his smug grin returns again. “well, well, aren’t you observant?” he says, hands casually stuffed into his pockets as he looks dazai up and down. “i guess i should compliment your taste then—great minds and great voices think alike.” he chuckles, and you can almost feel the mutual smugness radiating off the two men.
chuuya, who has been silently simmering through the whole exchange, finally explodes. “are ya both fuckin’ serious right now?” he growls, fists clenching at both his sides. “first, i’ve gotta deal with him”—he jabs a finger toward dazai—“and now this jackass too?” his foot taps impatiently on the boutique's polished floor, like he's ready to fight both of them.
“chuuya tsk.. tsk you're just upset because your little card got declined.” he shakes his head chuckling, “i didn’t know the economy would reject you specifically. but you know, you could always start a gofundme or maybe, uh i don’t know, pawn that fancy hat of yours?” he smirks playfully. “i hear they pay well for vintage."
saturo chuckles, clearly enjoying their little banter chaos. “hey, i like this guy! he’s got jokes.” he leans over toward dazai. “you sure we didn’t cross paths before?” then, turning his attention back to you with a teasing glint, he adds, “don’t worry, sweetheart—i’m still your best bet if you’re looking for a hero.” his eyes glimmer with flirtatious arrogance, as if he’s already planned your honeymoon by now.
chuuya throws his hands up in exasperation, shooting dazai an accusatory glare. “this isn’t funny, dazai! how the hell are we even supposed to survive in this weird-ass world when my damn card doesn’t work? not to mention that this is your fault for bringing us to this ridiculous place!”
the bandaged man sighs briefly, slipping into a serious look, “you're right. but I guess it's time to become a street performer. i mean, with your size, you’d make an adorable little tap dancer. might even make some decent pocket change.”
“you son of a—”
“enough!” the hot black-haired guy, who had been silently observing, steps forward, placing a firm hand on chuuya’s shoulder again. “we’re in public. can we try to act like civilized people for five minutes?”
chuuya grumbles, his fists still clenched, but the black-haired guy’s firm grip on his shoulder seems to anchor him enough to stop an all-out brawl. he glares between the two idiots in front of him—dazai still grinning like a smug bastard and saturo, who looks like he’s already planning his next punchline.
saturo straightens, his grin shifting slightly. “ugh suguru..don’t be such a killjoy.” he gestures lazily at dazai, “i was just making a new friend.”
chuuya scoffs. “friends? yeah, right. who the hell are you guys anyway?”
“just… tell them your name already. this isn’t a fight club.” suguru rolls his eyes.
saturo shrugs, turning his attention back to you and flashing that million-watt grin. “well, since suguru insists.” he dramatically puts a hand to his chest as if introducing himself for the first time. “i’m gojo satoru. the strongest sorcerer and uh apparently,”—he glances at dazai with a smirk—“your newest competitor for this sweetheart's attention.”
you sigh, clearly having enough of this shitty situation that feels like the setup for a sitcom episode. the ginger looks more frustrated by the minute, and the sight of him glaring daggers at the so-called companions makes you feel slightly bad for him.
“alright, chuuya,” you say, pulling him toward the cashier, ignoring the stunned look on his face. you feel suguru follow, maintaining a calming presence beside you. the cashier looks just as frazzled as chuuya, but you’re determined to end this nightmare once and for all.
“wait, what are you doing?” chuuya protests, glancing back at you with wide eyes. “you don’t have to—”
“It’s fine, really. it happens all the time,” you insist, shooting him a reassuring smile as you pull out your own card. “this is on me. plus you can pay me back in another way, though.”
dazai, overhearing this, perks up like a dog hearing a treat bag crinkle. he sidles over with that ever-present smirk on his face, leaning closer to you. “oh, you accept other ways? you naughty naughtyyy tsk!”
you roll your eyes, feeling your cheeks warm slightly, and ignore him completely. instead, you focus on the cashier, who looks thoroughly confused but also relieved to see the drama coming to a close. “just run this through, please.”
chuuya crosses his arms, clearly still disgruntled but unable to resist the tide of your determination. suguru shoots him a look that seems to say, “just go with it,” and chuuya huffs, lips pressing into a thin line.
as the cashier processes the transaction, you turn back to huuya. “it's fine, I really get it—everyone has rough days. uh how about you let me help you out a bit? i actually have a project coming up that could use two male leads.”
“it’s a vampire movie,” you explain with a grin spreading across your face as you watch chuuya’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “and honestly, you two fit the aesthetic perfectly. everyone i’ve auditioned so far has been terrible. i could really use your looks and… personalities,” you point toward the redhead and the hot black-haired man.
chuuya raises an eyebrow, skepticism etched across his features. “a vampire movie? seriously?”
“actually, I think you’d be perfect for the role. your features and that hair of yours are perfect for it.” suguro chuckles, nudging chuuya slightly.
you watch as chuuya’s expression softens, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smirk. for the first time, he chuckles, rolling his eyes at suguro. “you wouldn’t believe it, but I’ve had to dress up like one just to save that idiot dazai’s neck.”
suguro chuckles back, shaking his head. “guess it’s time to redeem yourself.”
chuuya huffs but a small smile betrays him. “fine, i’ll consider it. but only if you promise i don’t have to wear any ridiculous costumes.”
“i can’t make any promises,” you say with a teasing grin.
suguro smiles, leaning against the counter. “i’ll accept the offer, too.”
you beam, feeling a wave of relief wash over you finally. “great! i’ll send you both the details later.”
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“ugh, why is this so hard?” you can’t help but chuckle at his struggle, it’s not like you're defusing a bomb here—just rehearsing a kiss for a scene.
“chuuya, it’s just a kiss. how hard can it be?” you tease, raising an eyebrow, watching him pace back and forth through the rehearsal room like a caged tiger.
“just a kiss? have you seen your face?” he gestures wildly, and you swear you can see steam rising from his ears. “you make it look way too easy!”
you giggle glancing up as you hear a faint creak from the door only to see geto strolling in and casually leaning against the door frame. you can tell that he just got out of the shower as he holds a towel drying his luxurious black hair. you part your lips trying to take a deep breath as you see his damp hair clinging to his neck in a way that’s... well, distracting, and you're not above admitting that. but as he shakes the water from his hair, your mind drifts back—against your will, mind you—to that moment from a week ago.
technically, it was a regular day. nothing special. just you trying on a costume in one of those annoyingly small fitting rooms. and of course, it had to be the tightest, most ill-fitting costume known to mankind. the zipper might as well have been laughing at your misery as you wrestled with it, stuck halfway like it had a personal problem against you.
after what felt like an hour of struggle, you finally managed to peel the outfit off your body like some weird victory over fabric. and that’s when geto decided to make his grand entrance.
“oh, uh... wrong room,” he said and in that split second, you swore your heart had leaped out of your chest, seeing his eyes go wide, flicking down clearly taking in the delicate lace set you had on and oh, the way he stares makes your cheeks flush hotter than the sun on a july afternoon.
you are friends. just friends. well, maybe more than friends. the three of you are getting along—maybe a little too perfectly, if you are being honest. it is in the small things like how geto always have a lighter handy for you and chuuya, even though he doesn't smoke. you have no idea why, but somehow he’d always flick it open when you reach for a cigarette. that, combined with the lingering glances and casual touches that seems far too intimate to be strictly platonic, says something about where things are heading.
chuuya, on the other hand, is... well, he is oblivious. not that you mind it. he is just so focused on the roles you are rehearsing together that he hasn't picked up on the fact that you’ve been flirting with him for a while now. hell, geto had caught on, but chuuya? the poor guy needs it spelled out. you are going to have to make your moves more obvious—or, in chuuya’s case, maybe drastic.
and if you think back to certain moments—like that night when chuuya got himself absolutely plastered. that redhead brat went from zero to blackout drunk in record time, and of course, it fell on you to drag his sorry ass home. you just couldn't see him stumbling out of a bar, half-laughing, half-cursing, completely out of it and do nothing. to be fair, this all came after his impulsive bank robbery—yeah, you heard that right. a bank robbery. apparently, after the whole boutique incident, chuuya decided he was tired of being broke.
so there you were, guiding this drunken menace through the streets, and contemplating how you could spring him from the charges he was facing. he was barely coherent, mumbling something about the "best wine ever" and how the stars were "calling his name." romantic, right? wrong.
by the time you finally got him inside, chuuya, in all his sottish wisdom, decided clothes were optional. without a word—no hesitation, no second thoughts—he started stripping. pants off, dress shirt shirt flung across the room, and he was about to lose the rest when you jumped in.
“whoa, okay, let’s maybe not do that right now?” you managed to say, trying your best to avert your gaze but also wondering why the hell the universe had put you in this situation. because, let’s be honest, as much as you didn't want to stop him... you really, really should.
and you did stop him, somehow managing to wrestle him back into some kind of decency before he could make things even more harder for you. needless to say, he was so out of it, that he passed out immediately after—half clothed, thank god.
and you thank heavens that he doesn't remember a damn thing the next morning about his one-man strip show.
you blink as the sound of geto’s teasing voice yanking you from your thoughts.
“what’s going on in here? i could hear chuuya’s desperation from down the hall.”
chuuya glares at him. “shut it, geto. we’re just—”
“rehearsing a kiss,” you finish, unable to resist the urge to jump in.
“exactly,” chuuya huffs, crossing his arms defensively and pouting—god he's so adorable. “just a stupid kiss.”
geto smiles softly and steps further into the rehearsal room, “well, it can’t be that bad. show me what you’ve got.”
chuuya rolls his eyes, obviously being tested by geto’s teasing and you can see him mentally gearing up, “alright, but don’t laugh if I mess it up.”
you try to flash him an encouraging smile to ease him a little bit. “just breathe. it’s literally just a kiss.”
he nods stepping closer, you notice his cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. he gets within a breath’s distance and suddenly seems frozen, his confidence evaporating as he stumbles over his own thoughts. “uh... so...”
you can't help but chuckle softly, leaning in a little closer to coax him. “come on, chuuya. just focus on my lips. you can do this.”
geto—who had been watching from the side with a knowing smile—decided to step in. “you know, it might help to ease the tension. let me give you a few pointers.
chuuya blinked, caught off guard but quickly nodded. “yeah, sure. anything to make it look… believable.”
without uttering a response, he strides over and gently cupping your sweet pink cheeks, leaning in to press his soft lips against yours, and oh god, it’s perfect. the world fades away, and for a moment, it’s just you and the warmth of his lips. you let out a soft gasp as he slips his tongue between your puffy lips, tilting his head for better acess making your heart race as your mind wonders if you’ve just been seduced in a rehearsal. honestly you’re taken aback by how natural it feels, how perfectly his lips fit against yours.
geto loses himself completely in the kiss, his fingers brushing through your hair as if he’s trying to pull you closer, as the kiss deepens a low hum escapes his wet lips. you feel a rush of pleasure floods through your entire body, and just when you think it can’t get better, he pulls away, slightly breathless and blinking as he locks gaze with your lips for a bit before averting his gaze to chuuya.
well as for chuuya, the ginger stands there, wide-eyed, his lips slightly parted as if he hasn’t fully processed what just happened. “uh… was the tongue really necessary?” he stammers, cheeks flushed an adorable shade of crimson.
geto chuckles, brushing it off with a wave of his hand. “now you try.”
chuuya blinks again, still looking all flustered but still wants to get it right. he turns to you, hand sliding to your waist in a way that is awkward but endearing.
“fine… i got this.” his voice is hushed as his take your lower lip between his pink ones, trying to mimic what geto had done. it was just a kiss—chaste, careful, like he was still holding back. but then something clicked within you, the ginger's eyes snaps open before growling into your mouth as you slip your tongue into into his before twirling the two pink muscles together. you glide your delicate fingers through his messy strands, pulling him closer for a few seconds before he pulls back, breathing heavily.
“okay, that was… not acting right?” he says, his brows furrowing as he tries to catch his breath. “is that how it’s supposed to feel?”
geto sighs loudly, shaking his head in exasperation. “chuuya, how didn’t you notice? it’s been going on for a few months already. didn’t you realise it? because if you really want us to… you know...”
“ugh, thank you!!! finally someone who can read my hints,” you exclaim, shooting geto a grateful look.
chuuya blinks a few times, his brows knitting together as he processes what’s just been said. “wait, hold on,” he splutter, looking back and forth between you and geto. “are you both... serious?”
“god, i’m such an idiot. i thought we were just—” he pauses
“just friends?” you finish for him, giving him a playful nudge. “come on, chuuya. i thought i was dropping some pretty big hints.”
the redhead runs a hand through his messy hair, looking both at you and geto. “ so..uh..you really want us to fuck you?” he mutters, lips forming into a slow grin.. “like...both of us?”
“uh, yeah?” you say, biting your lip to suppress a smile watching chuuya and geto exchange glances more like a silent understanding seems to pass between them, and before you know it, geto strides over and lifts you off the ground effortlessly.
“wait, wait, wait!” you squeal, laughter bubbling up as you squirm in his grip. “what are you doing?”
“just a little detour to somewhere more private.” he says, glancing back at chuuya, who raises his eyebrows with a sick lustful grin plastered on his face.
“seriously, you guys, i can walk!” you protest, but the thrill of being swept off your feet makes it hard to sound convincing.
“good, ‘cause we'll make sure you won’t be walking straight for days.” chuuya says as he opens the trailer door, stepping inside with geto following suit.
the sound of a zipper being pulled down is the last thing you hear before you’re instantly pressed between the two men, their eager hands working quickly to strip you bare. the fabric falls away easily revealing more of your skin to their hungry eyes.
“damn,” chuuya breathes seeing your skin pebble once they hit the cold air. “you’re even prettier than i imagined.”
your eyes flutter shut as your head falls back on geto's shoulder and you relax for just a second before you feel chuuya's mouth encircled your nipple, his jot tongue swirling around your areola tasting your sweet skin as he groans softly against it.
“hngh—chuuya…” you whimper fingers tightening in his messy hair.
he releases your nipple with a slick pop, then brings his large palms to knead your pillowy breasts. as geto lifts you slightly, guiding your hips down to press against his hard cock. you open your eyes to glance down, breath hitching at the sight of him resting between your slick folds. you can't help but let out a soft gasp seeing how massive he is, tip coated with pre-cum and veins popping and soaked by your essence. you let out a soft moan as he peppers your neck with hot, wet kisses, goosebumps rise across the plains of your skin.
chuuya leans down easing you into geto's embrace and spreading your plushy thighs wider.
“look at her pussy—fuck s’pretty..” chuuya drawls as he spits on your swollen clit drawing lazy cut shapes on it, the warm fluid drooling between your puffy folds.
he then plunges his spit-slicked fingers past the swell of your plump lips, coaxing you to get even wetter for them as geto's large, gritty hands grip your ass, pulling you back and forth on his throbbing, leaky, fat cock.
“such a good slut, sucking my fingers so well,” your cunt clenches eagerly sucking on chuuya's long fingers, once he's truly satisfied, he pulls out of your cunt before smearing your juices all across your folds.
geto grips his cock in his palm, the leaky tip smearing your juices as he positions himself between your chubby cheeks. you never tried anal before and you never expected yourself to gasp that loud feeling the rush of spit pools against the pad of your tongue from him stretching your hole so perfectly. you cry out in surprise before chuuya swiftly plunges his tongue into your mouth swallowing your lewd noises.
“ffuck, i’ve been waiting for this, babe.” you hear geto's soft moans against the shell of your ear from behind, “... thinking of you in those lacy little things... mngh, you have no idea how many nights i couldn’t sleep, wanting to feel you... s’warm and tight around me.” he grips your juicy ass cheeks tighter, thrusting you down against him, as if he can’t wait any longer.
“ready for me doll?” chuuya breathes against your lips.
“yes ahh please chuu—mngh” you try to respond, but your words dissolve into a moan as you feel him slowly push inside your heated core. you had expected him to be gentle—just not this gentle. he languidly slides deeper and deeper, his head dropping forward to rest against your soft breasts, growling as he buries himself inside you.
you dig your nails into chuuya’s shoulders, forming delicate marks on his pale skin as you use him for leverage to push yourself back onto geto's cock. each thrust sends shockwaves through your body, making you shudder as chuuya fills you completely.
“god, you feel s’ fuckin’ good, doll,”
your moans get higher and higher mingling with their grunts and growling, chuuya finds himself thrusting faster than usual, his cock is pulsing from watching you nastily taking him and his friend's cock so perfectly.
“y-you okay doll?” chuuya breathes, his voice laced with awe as he watches your eyes roll back into your skull.
“ffuhmk—yes please more,” you cry feeling geto's pace starting to match chuuya's fast and hard ones, your body tenses up, pleasured from all angles, both with their girthy huge cocks filling you up to the brim, your vision blurs seeing through haze chuuya's eyes roll back, his fiery strands sticking to his face and neck, red hue blossoming under his skin and rapidly spreading to his chest.
“jesus f-fucking christ, you're so hot.” geto breathes against your skin tilting your head so that he can bite down your bottom lip gently before drawing circles with your tongues making the pair of you an even greater mess, both his hands reach up to cup your pillowy breasts squeezing them as they jiggle between the palm of his hands, “mmngh—sugu~ahh” the two of you moaning in unison.
before you can catch your breath, chuuya grabs your cheeks with two fingers, forcing you to meet his gaze. his lips crash against yours with a bruising intensity in a sloppy kiss, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth as his fingers roughly toy with your clit, drawing sharp, almost painful pleasure from the sensitive nub. “you gonna cum for us, mngh? gonna be a good slut and cum?” he growls, cupid's bows wet from your searing kisses as his fingers cut circles into your clit, pushing you closer to the edge.
the world around you blurs as you're finally pushed over the edge with the repeated brush of their cocks against your spongy spots—a blinding white light floods your vision, static crackling in your ears. chuuya watches in awe, like he's witnessing a miracle, as you cum, your body convulsing with pleasure. at the same time, geto spills inside you, his warm release filling your womb to the brim. the intensity makes you feel like you might pass out, a scream ripping from your throat as the knot in your lower belly unravels with chuuya's twitching cock inside you as he too rocks inside you multiple times riding out his sweet release with force that makes your body shake as he paints your walls with his hot shooting cum filling you up perfectly. you three reach your peak together, perfectly in sync.
the world gradually comes back into focus, as you three try to calm down from your release. geto is the first to pull out, and as he does, you feel his cum slowly drip from your body. chuuya follows, watching in awe your ruined holes leaking with their seeds as your legs tremble from the overwhelming pleasure.
chuuya chuckles breathlessly, wiping the sweat from his brow, and gently rubs a hand over your thigh. “i’ll get the bath ready for ya doll,” he murmurs, voice still rough from the intensity of his orgasm, before standing up and heading towards the bathroom.
you nod, watching his bare form head to the bathroom as geto leans in close, pressing gentle, reassuring kisses to your lips while his strong hands tenderly massage your trembling legs. “relax, baby” he whispers between kisses, his lips still deliciously sloppy, “you did so well. let me take care of you.” he strokes your skin soothingly, bringing you down from the high as you try to catch your breath.
you give geto a tired but grateful smile, your chest still heaving, “t-thank you, sugu,” you murmur softly, watching his lips curl into a satisfied grin, and he continues to massage your legs, his fingers easing away the lingering tension.
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TAGS: @a-smol-bean @violetbutterflix @amanoava @falloutjuli @embersweapons @warriordemigosworld @cathias @v15aexe @vasarii @pe4rl-diver @sukidenks @dazaifavbandage @chuuminn @fyodorsprettynun @ace-0fspades69 @irasamu @trippyserval @alyszuha @bittysuguro @writingandmusing @corruptedwrathkitsune @thedamselzelda @fyodorssimp1 @vikkinakahara @laylabuurr @whiteelovex @dottedhalfnotes @victoria1676 @ghostedwriting @a-trashbag @bakedpotato12 @ambervanth @sakui1 @iams0up @osamucide @lighthoonie @chuuyascumsock
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504 notes · View notes
mncxbe · 11 months ago
Note
I'm not sure if your requests are open, but if they are, could you write BSD Men (please include jouno, he is so VPIUZHS) reacting to you not being able to stand after a spicy night.
Thanks for hearing me out, and I hope you like this req <3
ofc nonnie and I totally agree, Jouno is pookie I just wanna squish him. hope you like it♡
°☆○
Losing the ability to walk♡
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑱𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒐, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓, 𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊
"aww 'donna's got some troubles standing? maybe you should come back to bed with me"
dazai's such a tease, flashing you that shit eating grin of his
after he effectively gets on your nerves with his snarky comments he's gonna be such a sweetheart, carrying you around the apartment and peppering you with kisses.
and ofc you can't stay mad at him
the next day when the muscle soreness eventually sets in, he's back to teasing you
and in the evening when you're back in bed he wastes no time prying your sore legs open and eating you out to "make up for what he did last night"
𝑱𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒐
he's such a meanie at first
when you get out of bed and your legs wobble he can't help but chuckle darkly. you think he's not aware of your state because he can't see? wrong, he can hear your muscles straining
jouno can't deny he gets a sort of sadistic satisfaction from seeing you like this, but he's still a sweet guy so he takes care of you
he's gonna bring you water, help you shower if you wanna, offer to give you a massage all that. then he cuddles you to sleep
𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓
"don't complain, myshka, you asked for it"
fyodor's by far the meanest and gets the most satisfaction out of it; seeing you struggle to walk gets him all hot and bothered again
too bad his anemic ass can't handle another round💔
he's gonna keep you in bed with him tho, run his slender hands along your thighs, chuckling whenever you tense up under his touch
"c'mon love i'm just trying to make it better. won't you let me?" plot twist he just wants to see you squirm
𝑻𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖
this green flag of a man is gonna feel so bad
at first he's scared he'd somehow hurt you but when you tell him that it's normal considering the way he fucked you he relaxes a bit
immediately offers to help you in any way he can; brews you tea, brings you sweets, runs a bubble bath for you ♡ he's truly an angel
from then on he's much gentler with you in bed
2K notes · View notes
chaiihuo · 18 days ago
Text
୨ৎ 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 . . . ft. fyodor dostoevsky
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fyodor dostoevsky x f.reader. hurt -> comfort-ish. bsd spoilders from ch. 53 on. brief mentions of a somewhat codependent relationship.
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fyodor doesn't like leaving you in the dark. he can't tell you everything of course, though only for your own safety. he does try his best to tell you everything he can, so at least he knows you're worrying about him even just a tiny bit less.
but there are some things, albeit very few, that are out of his control. his capture and arrest had completely blindsided him, and he had no possible way of letting you know where he was, or what was going on, from that moment on.
his arrest was one of the few times in his entire life he felt genuine fear. not from being arrested. it was a type of fear that he felt deep in my bones, twisting like a boulder in his gut. it felt like the fear he had caused his whole body to shut down. he was afraid he'd never find his way back to you. you'd be left in the dark about where he was, if he was hurt, if he was even alive. and he'd have to sit in a cell knowing he could do nothing to ease your suffering.
his arrest was also the first time in his life he had felt such desperation. he pleaded, practically begged, the officers at meursault to let him write to you. but they all denied his pleas. even seeming to enjoy that they were able to deprive the fyodor dostoevsky, one of the world's most wanted ability users, of something he so clearly was desperate for.
it was pathetic, he thought, how every guard he encountered behind the prison's walls seemed to giggle gaggle about his situation. despite the fact that everyone in the room knew that if fyodor had been able to wield his ability, they'd all cower in fear.
but now they chucked and whispered amongst themselves as they stripped him of all of his belongings, including his wedding band. which he watched as it was tossed so carelessly into a bag, and he knew he'd probably never see it again.
they were harsh as they slammed the steel cuffs on his wrists and shoved his head down as they guided him to his cell. the cramped space that would essentially be his home for the foreseen future.
fyodor thought about you every moment he was awake. every passing thought he had would eventually come back to you.
when he was brought his meals, he'd think about all the meals you made him. cooked with so much care, and thought behind. making the best meals possible to help with his poor health. every soup, or sauce, or marinate soaking with that silly iron fish you were so fond of. but you swore boiling it in with his food would help his deficiency. and it could have been the iron fish, or it could have been love, but he did feel the healthiest he's ever been since he's been with you.
when he was laying down to sleep, he'd think of you. how he had taken for granted how comfortable the bed he shared with you was. how the mattress was so soft his body sunk into it. and he never thought he would miss such a thing, but he longed to have to move the obscene amount of plushies and decorative pillows off the bed before he could lay down.
even when he was plotting and scheming a way out, the thoughts mostly revolved around coming home to you. he promised himself he'd get out. of course he would.
there was no question that he'd slip his way out, the way it's certain that a rat would squeeze through the smallest of cracks. it was certain that fyodor would make his way back to you. the question was how, and when. the only sure thing about his plan, aside from its inevitable success, was that the very first thing he would do would finally return home.
. . . .
you learned of fyodor's arrest through the newspaper.
he hadn't returned home the day he promised, and while you were worried beyond measure, you had managed to convince yourself — somewhat — that he would be home very soon.
you missed him dearly, but life needed to move on. that's what fyodor always told you "i may be away, but your life must still go on, milaya"
you saw the paper on display in a shop while you were picking up groceries. out of the corner of your eye you saw the front page, and immediately recognized fyodor.
it felt like the headline had crushed you immediately, and despite the words from fyodor that you tried to live by when he was away, the whole world seemed to freeze in its place. at least your world did.
while the whole world moved on around you, it felt like you were stuck in place. pinned down by a weight that felt like a hundred tons blanketing your whole body.
for almost a year fyodor was gone, and you barely managed to keep things moving. doing the bare minimum to keep things in your home running. everyday seemed to bleed together, and day and night no longer had any difference to you.
the dependency you had on fyodor wasn't something you were completely proud of. but you couldn't really help it. even before him something in you felt hollow. you got on just fine, but it always felt like something was missing. a feeling that only went away when your life had collided with fyodor's.
you and fyodor had connected so deeply from the moment you had met each other for the very first time. your lives and souls so intertwined that fyodor being gone felt like a part of yourself had gone away with him.
most days you spent laying on the couch. you had moved to spending most of your time in the living room. the bedroom was too big for just you. the bed was too cold and empty without fyodor to share it with, so you had taken to the couch. spending nights lulling yourself to sleep with fantasies of fyodor returning home, and your days staring at the front door. hoping that the door knob would turn, and fyodor would come in.
a day dream you had fallen so deeply into at times that you had managed to convince yourself it would really happen. sometimes finding yourself practically sprinting towards the front door at the slightest noise. it was always a disappointment that left you in a weeping pile on the living room floor.
eventually you somehow managed to stop yourself from making a scene at every little noise. but despite your best efforts, you just couldn't get yourself to accept that fyodor would never come home. you still had hope that you'd be with him again.
this day was just like every other day before it. you barely managed to get through even the smallest of household chores before you took to the couch again. staring at the front door, zoning out as you tuned out the random talk show you put on in the background to pretend that you had company. though it did very little, almost nothing, to ease your loneliness.
and the doorknob jiggled.
this was really a new low for you. had your day dreams become so vivid out of your desperation that you had actually started seeing them ? how pathetic you'd become. you wondered if fyodor would be ashamed of how desperate you'd become.
and the doorknob shook again.
there was a muffled mumbling outside, accompanied by a series of the door knob twisting and shaking. like someone on the other side of the door had stuck something in the lock in place of a key to try and open the door.
you sat up right on the couch, staring at the door. your mind rushed with a thousand thoughts. a break in ? your landlord wondering where you've been ? maybe someone had mistaken your apartment for their own ?
a thousand thoughts ran through your mind, but one stuck out that made your stomach light up with butterflies and nerves all at the same time. surely... this couldn't be fyodor.
you sat up straight as a pin, staring at the door with wide eyes, like a deer in headlights, as you watched the lock turn and the door open.
fyodor closed the door behind him, and time felt like it was standing still as he stood in front of the door. neither of you moved. you couldn't believe it was real. or you wouldn't let yourself believe it.
"milaya.." fyodor finally said. he spoke the word with a heavy exhale, like he had been holding his breath for so long, only letting it go when he said the name.
hearing him was all the confirmation you needed. lunging up from your place on the couch, and cried out his name, colliding hard against his chest, it was almost painful, but you didn't care. you didn't even think about it.
your legs latching around his waist. it knocked fyodor back, using his hand to brace himself against the wall, and holding you up as tight as he could with his other arm. his time in prison had left him in the worst physical state he's ever been in.
you tried hard to form words, but all that came out was a mix of heavy sobs and cries of his name. and fyodor didn't bother to start a conversation, leaning his body against the door to be able to hold you.
he absolutely reeked. the smell of dried blood, build up of body order, and stale water all mixed together. but just in this moment, you wouldn't have been able to tell that scent from the smell of a basket of freshly picked berries, or the top of a baby's head. to you, with your face tucked into the side of his neck, he smelled like the sweetest thing in the world.
"im home, milaya" fyodor said as your cries turned to soft sniffles and whimpers, his voice was raspy and weak, he sounded out of breath and sickly.
"you're home" you repeated, your own voice shaky, on the verge of breaking into sobs again.
"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."
fyodor's apology was simple. but 'sorry' was not an emotion fyodor often had the need for. so when he said it, when he said it to you, he meant it.
his apology was met only with another quiet sob, your tears running down the side of his neck, soaking into the collar of the prison attire he was still dressed in. fyodor felt his own eyes burning, his own tears threatening to make an appearance.
he could only imagine the suffering you'd been through this past year. but he knew it was tenfold worse than his own. while he knew that you were alive and well at home, as he was rotting in his cell planning his escape, you had no idea what the state of his well-being was. you spent the last year wondering if your husband was dead or alive.
he never wanted that for you. he took your marriage, his vows to you so seriously. you had been joined in the name of god, and it was his job to protect you from such suffering. he felt like he had failed. fyodor never failed. at least never on something he held so deep in his heart.
"i'm sorry" he said again
there was another long moment of silence, your sniffles and fyodor's shaky breaths as his own tears ran down his face being the only noises filling the air.
it was a while before you took a deep breath and spoke again. "you stink," you said. your blunt words were an attempt to lighten things up. it was a joyful reunion of course, but the heavy fog caused by the suffering of being apart for so long had not yet been lifted.
"i know" fyodor nodded, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve, trying to regain his composure.
fyodor kept you in his arms as he made his way towards the bedroom, using the wall to assist him. his steps were slow, and his legs were shaky, but he didn't once ever think of putting you down until he was able to set you down on the edge of the bed.
he squeezed your hand, firm but gentle, before going to the dresser to grab a fresh pair of lounging clothes.
"i'm filthy, milaya"
"you gonna shower ?" you asked him. he nodded in response. "i didn't get rid of any of your things," you said, getting up to follow him into the bathroom.
"i know" he said with a slight nod, and a little smile. "i know, you didn't"
you sat down on the closed toilet seat, your knees pulled up under your chin as fyodor turned the shower on and began undressing, tossing the prison uniform in the direction of the trash can rather than the laundry hamper.
your heart sunk as you saw the state his body was in. of course you noticed how unstable he was when he was carrying you, but his physical state was a wreck. his skin was shades paler than it usually was. it looked drained of all colors. leaving his body a sick gray color. and he had become so thin, like he had become nothing but a skeleton wrapped with skin. his rib and hip bones stuck out. his body looked like he was a dead man walking.
"i'll be okay, milaya" fyodor reassured you as he stepped into the shower, like he was reading your mind.
you stayed in your place on the toilet seat as you waited for fyodor to shower. you still felt a deep seated worry that this was all in your imagination, and if you left the bathroom fyodor would simply disappear again.
it took fyodor quite a few washes of his hair and body before he finally felt clean. by the time it was done, most of his products were empty.
he turned the water off, and slid open the curtain "could you hand me a towel, please ?" he asked
you nodded, quickly getting up to grab a towel from the rack in the connected bedroom. you handed it to fyodor, who was shivering as he stood naked in the shower, hair dripping wet.
he ran the towel over his head before wrapping it around his waist, and stepping out of the shower. you took your place back on the toilet as he brushed his teeth, scrubbing maybe a little too rough with his toothbrush.
he spit into the sink, spitting up globs of blood along with spit. you watched as he used his hand to rinse out the sink and his mouth with water, before filling a cap full of the mouthwash from the cupboard.
everything in the house was still in the same place as it was when he left home the last time. his hand gripped the side of the sink, groaning in pain as the alcohol based mouthwash burned the tiny cuts in his mouth from brushing so hard. he spit in the sink and rinsed it out one more time before turning off the water, and dressing himself in the comfortable lounging clothes he had pulled out before.
"do you feel better ?" you asked
fyodor nodded, taking a deep breath that seemed to allow his whole body to finally relax as he exhaled it. "much better"
he nodded towards your bedroom "bed ?" he asked. you nodded eagerly, having been so desperate to finally be back in bed with him after so long.
fyodor made his way to the bedroom, taking off all the plushies and decorative pillows off the bed, and placing them down on the ground. and he honestly couldn't think of a single complaint about it. maybe he didn't entirely understand the need for the over consumption of anything and everything soft, but he understood now that this wouldn't be your home without them.
in almost comical, the synced movements you made as you both got into bed and under the covers. you moved as close as you could to fyodor. it still didn't feel close enough. you wished you could merge into him, to become one. you never wanted to be away from him again. you wanted nothing more in the world then to be with him every second for the rest of your life.
"i'm glad you're home" you whispered
"i'm never leaving again" fyodor responded, thin fingers running across your hair
"you promise ?" you asked, your voice shakey, on the verge of tears again.
"i swear my life to god. i am never leaving you again, milaya"
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