#what if he was useless and got tied up by the characters I have a crush on?

[allseeinganalyst]

One way I know that my self-imposed “get your shit together, focus on what brings you joy and ditch the baggage before you’re 30” challenge is working is that I’m thinking about bringing back my old self-insert character from that fanfic I wrote in 2012 that I was so ashamed of.

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ good one | thomas hewitt x reader

♡ fandoms; Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 + 2006)

♡ characters; Thomas Brown Hewitt

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; references to extreme violence, stockholm syndrome i suppose?, kidnapping

♡ notes; this was literally supposed to be porn but instead here’s some weird sappy stuff lol

anyways hopefully more fics soon, writers block and rehearsals have been a bitch and a half

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

It was a wonder you were still alive. That’s what you thought about, sitting and fidgeting in the strange bedroom with your ankle shackled. Was shackled the right word if it was tied with rope? Whatever. It didn’t matter. You were fairly certain you’d fall prey to the crazy folks running around the place soon enough. The group you’d hitched a ride with was already long gone- one you’d watched get shot point blank by the bullshit sheriff. The others….well, you heard the chainsaw and the screaming. It was an easy conclusion to come to, especially after you saw the bloody smears on the hardwood downstairs.

You weren’t sure why you hadn’t been hacked into bits yet. You’d been indistinguishable from the others- just another wandering twenty-something with tight clothes and next to no money. The only thing you could think of was that gas station. Your companions had been such dicks to the lady at the counter- of course you apologized to her. She’d been just as kind in return, she even snuck a candy into your bag of sodas and snacks. She was the one who’d sent you that way, towards the farm house.

You stilled, train of thought lost as you heard footsteps. Heavy and slow- they were somehow more intimidating than any angry stomping could have been. You curled your legs up defensively, eyes trained on the door. The person stood there more than a second, silent and just as still as you were holding. If you hadn’t been listening so intently, you would have thought they turned and walked away. But then there was some quiet mumbling- a woman’s voice, maybe?- and the door creaked open.

“Go on Tommy dear- I found a good one for you.”

You’d never seen a man so tall- with shoulders so broad or arms and torso so solid. He was massive. He was terrifying. And he was attractive. Once your eyes unglued themselves from his figure you finally took in the rest. Dark, thick shoulder-length waves. A mask that seemed useless as any sort of medical device thanks to the open mouth. Eyes that were dark but not brown. Maybe blue, maybe gray..maybe just pure black. Like a shark’s. In other circumstances you'd be reduced to a puddle on floor over him. But the bloodstains on his shirt didn’t go unnoticed.

You watched him closely, and he watched you just as alertly, stalking forward like some jungle cat…No. Wait. That wasn’t right. He didn’t look scared, but he was cautious, keeping some distance. Maybe a better allegory would be he looked like he was trying to corner a feral kitten- not wanting you to swipe or dart away. As if doing either was possible. You were frozen with fear, though found the courage to lean back a bit as he stepped forward. He grunted softly and persisted, nearly trembling as he brushed a strand of hair from your face.

Love at first sight was a stupid fucking concept. That you’d always believe. Maybe something in you just broke that same moment, maybe you were just too exhausted to think even close to straight. Maybe both. But when you and this massive man locked eyes, there was an instant understanding. He was already yours- and more importantly, you’d be his. He just had to stake his claim.

“…you’re Tommy?” You practically whispered. He nodded quickly. You got a sense he didn’t speak much, but you told him your name in return and tried to think of anything to talk about to stall the inevitable. “…you killed those people?” You blurted for some godforsaken reason. He tensed, still hovering over you. “It’s okay.” You added quickly “I didn’t actually know them. They were kinda mean.”

He furrowed his brow just a bit and searched your face, for any signs that you were lying. Before he came to a conclusion, you gave a soft sigh, instinctively leaning into the hand that had raised your face to him. Something immediately softened about him, and he rubbed your cheek in awe. The sleepy giggle it caused seemed almost to startle him. It was like no one had ever been that soft with him. Maybe they hadn’t. “….this is your room right? Can we sleep?”

Tommy still seemed in shock but carefully nodded, undoing his apron and seeming at a loss of what to do next. He frowned a bit as he noticed your bindings and quickly undid the knot that kept you stuck there. His guard was down- you could try to run. But you didn’t want to. Doing so would only be tiring. You wanted to let go. So instead you smiled softly and simply opened your arms, letting him cuddle up with you. It took him a minute to get settled, and all the while treating you so delicately… like you were made of glass. He looked up at you, again searching your face in near confusion. He grunted in surprise as you pecked his forehead. His mama really did find him a good one.

[hannie-dul-set]

AN UNLIKELY FANMEETING.

p — LEE JENO x female! reader. g — gang leader! jeno, actress! reader, humor, tension tension tension, jeno gets kidnapped by his celebrity crush, this is stupid, this is dumb, don't take this seriously. w — swearing, kidnapping, morally dubious characters HAHHAHA. 935 words.

note — happy birthday jeno. to the anon that sent the trope list curated for me, this is your fault. take responsibility. the prompt "accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss" suddenly terrorized my brain while i was studying. enjoy.

when lee jeno opens his eyes, a dull ringing in his ears, he sees nothing but the faint impression of a lightbulb burning through the sack covering his head. it’s dark. there’s an echo when he grunts and tries to move, but upon feeling the rope pressed against his wrists, the stiffness of his shoulders and the metal scratching of the chair against the rough ground— he’s quick to understand the situation he’s in.

the last thing he remembers, he was about to board a plane to japan. to spend a few months lying low after the particularly risky job his gang had to undertake not too long ago.

seems like someone managed to sniff him out before he could flee.

splash!

“wake up, you slimy son of a bitch.”

cold water hits, seeping into the fabric covering his face and crawling down to his collarbones. now, considering his line of work, jeno isn’t too fazed by this situation. he has a lot of enemies. maybe this one’s from a rival gang. could be a relative seeking revenge for a brother’s cracked skull, or some shit. doesn’t matter. he’s not gonna stay sitting for long anyway.

“did you really think you could cheat on me and run away scot free?”  

cheat? the sack gets thrown off from his head, a hand yanking a handful of his hair to pull his head back and he lets out a grunt. the chair is tipped back. jesus fucking christ, that felt personal. but when the sudden illumination stops blinding him, and he can finally see who the hell had the guts to jump and kidnap him, he’s a little taken aback.

jeno has a lot of enemies. the list goes on and on.

“use your fucking mouth, bast—”

but he’s pretty sure that the darling angel of south korea’s film industry isn’t on that list.

jeno watches as the vivid scorn and disgust in your eyes slowly meld into confusion, then realization, then a slow but sure descent into panic alongside the loosening of your grip.

“oh.”

must be the skills of an award winning actress. he feels almost a hint of disappointment when you stop pulling on the roots of his damp hair.

“oh, shit. one moment.”

clang! the chair he’s tied to settles once more into the ground with a clatter, and jeno watches as you quickly secure a distance between you and him, pulling your phone out of your sweats while biting the tips of your thumbnail. it’s a little funny seeing the nation’s sweetheart pacing back and forth all jittery in what looks like a basement— maybe your basement. as far as jeno can remember, you’re always casted for romance films. those feel-good, slice of lives and the pocari sweat commercial you once did echoes in the back of his head. but maybe you have a hidden knack for some thriller.

he starts fiddling with the ropes tied around his wrists right at the moment you screech into your phone. dispatch would have a field day if they see this.

“you got the wrong guy! my ex isn’t this hot!”

his fingers slip. his skin scratches the rough threads of the rope.

“i paid you useless fucks a shit ton of money to get the job done, but you can’t even get— ugh! nevermind. just go and bring me the actual son of a bitch i asked for this time.”

the knot is almost loose. this is quite the show. it’s better than all the movies he’s seen of you.

“what?! hello?! what do you mean you can’t help me anymore, what about our—”

drop. jeno gets up from the chair. he stretches his joints, neck cracking, watching as you sputter out a trove of profanities at your phone. his clothes are still damp from the water you splashed him earlier. maybe he should have a bit of fun first before leaving. it’s not everyday that you get to meet your celebrity crush.

“hey, dollface,” he calls out. you freeze. you look at him with the drop of a needle, eyes growing a little bit wider when you realize he should be sitting down. damn, they really need to cast you in a grittier film. “you should pay a bit more attention when you have someone hostage.”

a beat of silence. 

“uhm,” your voice croaks. jeno takes a step towards you. you take a step back. “listen, haha, there has been a misunderstanding.”

your steps stutter a little, moving back and back and you swallow nervously, looking at him with almost sheepishly— a sense of feigned bravery in the midst of retreat, teeth tugging on the skin of your lips. “oh, yeah?” he says, and you visibly rattle. you’re prettier like this than when you’re batting your eyes and flirting at the camera. you’re definitely prettier.

“yes, ahaha, there was a minor switch-up, you see i— i didn’t mean to...uh, escort you from the airport, i actually meant to target someone else, and— o–oh, and there’s a wall behind me. oops, haha. do you mind backing away a bit, um—”

“how about i help you with the ex boyfriend problem you have?”

the tables turn. it’s him digging his face up against yours this time, but the mention of your ex strikes a chord. you’re looking at him, gaze unbreaking. he can feel your shallow breaths on his skin.

“who are you exactly?”

“someone who can do the job better that the fuckers you sent me, definitely,” he chuckles. “how about it?”

he won’t ask for much. maybe just an autograph in return.

AN UNLIKELY FANMEETING. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[dollypopup]

bridgerton season 3 part 2 spoilers

I want to preface this with saying that I have loved Polin for two years. Two years, hundreds of thousands of words, and almost 50 stories. I have loved this couple through fan edits, through fics, through rereads, through songs. I have loved this couple so deeply and earnestly and endlessly

And so my disappointment in Part 2 stems, predominately, from the fact that I just wish it had been better.

I wish it hadn't been as cut through with plotlines that went, ultimately, nowhere. Will and Alice with the tension of 'I don't want to give up the club' 'Well, you should to suit the status quo' 'Oh, okay'. Benedict with his 'I love being free. Let's shag freely!' 'I may have feelings for you' 'I still just want to shag freely, but now I'm opening up more options' (tho, congrats on the bisexuality!) Violet and Marcus who are just being set up for the final season. Cressida, who's story tugged my heartstrings so much, and ended up in the dirt.

But more than anything, I wish Colin had gotten more. There were so many moments where he could have been expanded upon, where his character could have shined, and I truly want to commend Luke Newton, he did a phenomenal job with the crumbs he was given, but was ultimately shoved to the wayside for the Lady Whistledown plot.

In truth, this is a writing problem. The actors are phenomenal. They have chemistry, they have passion, and they are all believable, but the writing fell flat. They gave too much time to side plots and, frankly, to Debling, who was such a nothingburger and didn't even return that it was evident he only existed because the series was afraid to lean fully into Colin's complexities. You know what is more compelling and more worthwhile to explore than 'Oh, I could lose her to someone else?'

Losing her to herself.

Colin spent part 2 ultimately SAD. And he had every right to be. But instead of fully exploring that, he was relegated to the sidelines to support Penelope's storyline. And I understand completely that this season was for the Pen stans, but damn, I wish he got SOMETHING. Kanthony's advice to him was useless, Colin started the series knowing he couldn't open up to his brothers and still not doing so by the end. Colin saying that his ultimate purpose was to support and love Pen was a horrific cop out and a disservice of his character. It's a bad plotline when a woman says so for a man, and it's a bad plotline when a man says so for a woman.

I love these two so much, and I feel like they could have had so much better. Penelope now writing the same gossip, tying herself to Mayfair, but under her name now, thus ensuring that people are aware and being different around her for the sake of her publication is bad. To imply that her dreams are Lady Whistledown is lazy- Lady Whistledown is a plot device the writers are unable to let go, not Penelope's ultimate dreams.

You want me to believe that this woman's biggest dreams are to continue writing gossip? Not novels? Not stories? Not an autobiography? Not to travel? Not to make more friends? But to have a baby and write about parties? They tried giving legitimacy to gossip as if Penelope ever had any peer review, as if she is the be all end all of what is and is not true- she cannot possibly know fully.

I wanted more for her than to be a teenage mum tied to a gossip blog. I wanted more for Colin than to publish a book offscreen and take over an estate until his son comes of age. I wanted more for POLIN. Their beautiful moments were truly BEAUTIFUL. That first time scene was lovely- but how much lovelier would it be after he knew who she was in full and accepted all of it? Their reconciliation felt hollow because he was not truly given the time to process it. The pain of separation, sleeping on the couch as she took the bed, was hardly explored outside of a few quick scenes.

No montage of their letters, no Colin standing beside her, and that Lady Whistledown reveal where everyone clapped? I don't understand it. I wish so much that this show took a good story and made it better, and that's where my bitterness lies. Not because I'm a hater, but because I'm a lover. I wanted to love it so, so much.

And I know it could have been better. My couple is better than this. My couple is better than Penelope's ultimate goal being independence and Colin's ultimate goal being an accessory. My couple is a pair of equals. My couple is a pairing of two people who love one another so damn much they can't even stand it. Where is my Penelope who fights for him? Where is my Colin who announces to the world he loves her?

I guess that Polin ended up on the cutting room floor in the edits, because what we got wasn't enough for me

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: God

Overview:

God was said 69 times, by 10 characters, and in all 8 episodes.

Uses Per Episode:

Episode 1: 4

Episode 2: 8

Episode 3: 7

Episode 4: 1

Episode 5: 17

Episode 6: 7

Episode 7: 10

Episode 8: 15

Uses Per Character:

Charles: 5

Crystal: 32

Jenny: 1

Niko: 8

Esther: 8

The Cat King: 4

Litty: 2

Kingham: 2

Maxine: 2

Maren: 4

Percent of Total:

God is said 69 times, which is 21.4% of all cursing in the show.

Variations:

There are 5 variations of the word God used in the show, with the most popular being God, which was used 30 times.

God: 30

Oh My God: 23

Oh God: 13

Thank God: 2

OMG: 1

Rankings:

Total Uses: God comes in 2nd place for total uses, being said 69 times.

Number of Episodes: God is one of only four words to be said in every episode, along with Fuck, Shit, and Ass.

Most Uses of a Word in a Single Episide: Fuck holds 4 of the top 11 spots.

Total Characters: 11 different characters say God, landing it in 2nd place.

Favorite Word: God is tied with shit for Crystal’s favorite word- she says them 32 times each.

It is also the favorite (and only) curse word for both Niko (8) and Maxine (2), as well as the favorite for Esther (8) and Maren (4).

Curse Word Variations: With 5 variations, God settled in at 4th place.

Lines:

Episode 1:

Crystal: Oh my god, why can't I remember?

Crystal: God! I just need a second, okay?

Crystal: God, I just want to take their heads and just crush them together, I am so mad!

Crystal: Oh my god, I never even thought about the fact that they could still be alive.

Episode 2:

Charles: Oh my god, here we go.

Crystal: Oh my god, holy shit! (Niko collapses)

Crystal: God, I feel lonely too.

Crystal: Oh my God! Holy shit, how does today keep getting more disgusting?

Crystal: God (After Edwin asks 'And were there any graves or decaying bodies near her in the woods?')

Crystal: Oh my god, Charles back me up.

Crystal: Oh my god, Niko! (Niko starts seizing)

Niko: Oh my god. Are these your friends?

Episode 3:

Crystal: I just heard some people talking about it in the um, God, it was the… malt shop and it sounded super crazy.

Niko: Oh my god, he is so in to you!

Kingham: God! (Niko throws sweater over jar)

Kingham: God! I hate you!

Crystal: Thank god, there he is.

Crystal: Oh my god. Son of a bitch owned an electronics store.

Charles: God, that must have been mental.

Episode 4:

Crystal: God, it's driving me crazy

Episode 5:

Niko: OMG it's…(Jenny's secret admirer)

Litty: Oh my god (Niko comes in room)

Litty: Oh my god!

Crystal: Oh god. Cash and condoms. Thanks.

Maren: Brad was my boyfriend. God, I miss him so much.

Maren: God, I shouldn't have left.

Crystal: Oh, no it's porn, it's all just porn. Oh my god.

Maren: And oh God, they, they… ugh, they humiliated him any chance they got.

Maren: Oh god I… I almost did it to you.

Charles: I've got some heavy shit that I need to sort out. I get it. Just… God, I really wanted them to be good guys

Maxine: God, I've always done this.

Maxine: Like… like what your pillow smells like. Oh god, I can't wait to smell it for myself.

Niko: What's happening? Oh. Oh my god.

Charles: God, you knobs really don't get it.

Charles: Oh god, I'm worried that maybe I'm like Brad and Hunter.

Crystal: I can't keep him out of my head. God, he just keeps coming, I don't… I don't know how to stop him. God, what if I can't?

Episode 6:

Crystal: God, I just want to be normal.

Esther: Oh, God, well without her precious little dead boys she'll be snake food in no time.

Esther: God! You're not going gaga for the uptight boy?

Crystal: God, I feel totally useless.

The Cat King: Oh God, the handsome face, the little kiss, bullshit astrology.

Esther: God, I love final moments.

Crystal: Oh my God, are you guys OK?

Episode 7:

Esther: Oh, god.

The Cat King: Oh god, they say that I'm a pussy.

The Cat King: Oh God.

The Cat King: God, I am such a romantic, I hate it.

Crystal: God, Edwin is my friend too, whether he likes it or not.

Crystal: God, if you really won't let me go, then I'll find my own way to Hell.

Crystal: God, that's fucking insane.

Niko: Oh my God! You're both still dead, and didn't get trapped in hell forever!

Niko: Oh, thank god.

Crystal: God, I gotta figure out what I'm going to tell her.

Episode 8:

Crystal: God, it's like being punched in the face and the stomach.

Esther: God, you're nosy.

Crystal: Mom? Oh my God. Mom is that--

Girl in Crystal’s Memory 3: Oh my God, did you guys hear? James got hit by a car.

Crystal: Oh, my God. Oh, I'm a fucking awful person. Oh, God, I'm the worst.

Crystal: God, I was a bad person before him.

Crystal: Because if you did, God, you'd hate me

Crystal: Oh my God, Jenny are you OK?

Niko: Oh my God. Am I dead?

Niko: Oh my God. Is that where the magic eight ball kept saying "outlook not so good"?

Esther: Oh, God! Oh, God, no, my face… Is fine.

Esther: Oh my God, my own sacrificial knife? I'm impressed. But I'm not fucking around that you're also gonna patch that wall before you die too.

Jenny: God, that sounds so fucking procedural.

Notes:

Goddamn was said six times throughout the show. These have been included in the count for Damn, which can be found here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Lego Batman Family Matters is so ridiculous but I love it.

You will not believe how funny this movie actually is.

Is it out of character? YES, especially on Bruce and Damian's front.

Is it still batfam dynamic? Also yes.

In this movie, Bruce sells Wayne Enterprises because he believes that Bruce Wayne stops him from doing what's really important. Crime-fighting.

Harvey Dent hates Bruce because he believes that he has all this money and doesn't use it enough for good. And yes, he buys WE. Also, he works for Jason because they both think that Bruce owns half the city, yet he neglects the things he's supposed to love (This IS actually half of Jason's motivation. Gotham IS his city. It's just that it's more personally motivated)

So Jason sends Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl and Batwoman letters on where to meet him. There he gives them the location of four bombs. They decide to split up. When the bombs that Batwoman and Batgirl were supposed to handle were disarmed, he shocks them.

Btw, Babs and Dick have a fight going on because Dick didn't respond to her text. The reason? He didn't always want to write a thumbs up but something original, like a smiley face with a heart. When Barbara was under the influence of fear toxin, she saw a version of herself that claimed to be better than her and told her "he probably responds Starfire immediately".

He managed to shock Robin!Damian too, but Nightwing was with him and now they're trying to beat the shit out of each other. They even had a car chase, constantly made quips at each other and Jason launched a granate or something at his car so Dick will have to jump out, giving him the opportunity to also shock him.

Meanwhile Bruce is having a showdown with Two-Face at the theatre and Billy Batson, who wants to get an interview with him to earn money for the orphanage, is also there with him. In the end, BILLY had to disable the bomb because Bruce just straight up forgot about it???

By the way, he got to the theatre with another guy, but had to make the guys errands first, because Jason stole the tires from the batmobile. Bruce was so completely useless for this entire fight, he didn't even capture Harvey, he escaped. Everyone else DID. Sucks to be outnached by your family but my guy, I feel no sympathy.

So then Red Hood calls and says he has his family and they're gonna talk about this at home. So Bruce gets home, Jason says "Daddy's home" and rankd Bruce entrance as a 9.5 because the hero landing is so from last year.

Yes, so, anyway.

Damian, Barbara, Dick, Katherine and Alfred are all suspended in the air by their arms. Bruce reveals Jason's identity.

Damian: The second Robin? I thought he was dead!

Jason: You told them I was dead?!

Bruce: ... That's not what I said.

Bruce explains that he figured it out because the locations were personal clues tied to their civilian identity. And how one was the alley where Jason stole his tires the first time. Damian laughs and thinks it's so cool. Dick also laughs and imitates a lecture Bruce probably gave him after that.

Overall, a real nice bonding moment for the boys.

EXCEPT TWO OF THEM ARE HUNG IN THE AIR.

Aaaanyway, Jason accuses Bruce that he kicked Jason out, leaving him with no family, when in reality, Jason left because Jason rather wanted to play video games than go on patrol and one day Bruce pulled the plug. Jason had enough of "Bat-rules and Bat-curfews" and got on his bike and said "I'm leaving". He waited for a response, didn't got one and left.

Present Jason then told Bruce that if he'd cared, he would have stopped him. So Bruce shows him that he got daily updates from his satellite on Jason's adventures and Jason lets his family go.

My guy, a SATELLITE doesn't replace your parental supervision.

[a-zalea-garden]

How do you feel about the pride comic so far? :D

I actually hadn't sat down to read it until I got this ask, but the snippets I'd seen were ADORABLE. I'm writing this as I read it for the first time:

pg. 1: "Hypnosis was so much easier" HE WOULD! And him rehearsing with Whisp is so sweet. I love that they tied her and their friendship into the story more; I kind of thought she was done for good. Valentine hitting his face on the locker is SUCH a diary thing, too. I don't know if it was meant to be a callback or anything, but that's what it reminded me of. And Whisp saying "good luck!" while Kier is half-dead on the floor is PRICELESS. I love that he's still trying to make amends with Drac though.

pg. 2: Him blurting everything at once and then stopping to be all ✨composed✨ is perfect. UGH but the accent. Kieran, dear, she knows you're Romanian. I like the call back, though, and if you really look into it, it's a reflex because he's embarrassed and panicked. I LOVE the cut between him saying "it's fine" and him absolutely panicking, all zoned-out. It's such a simple thing that's meant to be comedic but it really shows us how he thinks and how vulnerable he is in a world without his prestige.

pg. 3 BIG SPELLDON REVEAL DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!! I love the small details of his character design that bring him to life, like the rings on his fingers and the mole on his lip. and the necklaces <3. Valentine IMMEDIATELY crumpling the paper in his big dramatic moment is so silly. And spelldon ignoring it and just taking a rose. It's such an easy, domestic kind of moment. And they're both so pretty ugh the close ups. "Like my soul" ok princess val 🙄 and spelldon worried, "You still love draculaura?" I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SPELLDON CAULDRONELLO

pg. 4: the moment of realization is priceless. Kieran is just in awe of this man. and Spelldon is just so enthusiastic about it (I love how he's just like 'this is dumb' but goes along with it anyway. Okay mr. malicious compliance). The height difference is also perfect to me. It makes sense that Spelldon is way taller because he's part (like 70% ish if I remember right from that time I did a pedigree) god. Casta's tall too isn't she? Valentine lost in his own little world ❤️ my little yapper.

pg. 5: Valentine trying to be over prepared, he's so me. And it's a nice (probably unintentional) callback to his diary where he says "better have it and not need it than need it and not have it." Spelldon's blunt humor is one of my favorite things ever. And him flattering Kieran about biteology >>> ugh they're so sweet. Val's facial expressions are so funny too he's so dramatic. Him trying to be humble and change the subject when Spelldon compliments him is so cute. AAAA they're so sweet.

pg. 6: Spelldon being all nonchalant while Val is literally falling over is so them. That is such a fun dynamic for them to have and I love it so much. I don't even know how to describe or "analyze" it because it just feels so naturally them that there's nothing to point out as "unusual." AAA Spelldon catching Val is such a sweet moment in the comic. Poor Val has his eyes closed, he can't even see Spell's face when it happens. And his hand is HOVERING over Val's back; he's not even touching him and he's blushing like that. I don't even think I need to mention the smirks (they're so precious)(Spells had an eyebrow slit this whole time and I just didn't see it??😭)

pg. 7: EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA Val you're going to give poor Spelldon a heart attack leave him alone. He's so dramatic clasping his hands like that. The mausoleum is really cute though, I approve. If I were a vengeful ghost, this would be my haunt (get it?). Spelldon having this whole plan thought out to get the ingredients when he's the one who thought it was a useless plan to start with 🤨 okay Spelldon we all see what you're doing. Especially since the whole plan is to get Val clinging to him. Scarah to the rescue!!! Not the return of the accent val STOP PLEASE. I'm glad they're talking about it, though. And he doesn't do it to spelldon 👀 because he's being himself with spelldon and doesn't feel the outside pressures to be someone else. He subconsciously knows that spelldon will accept who he is. Spelldon's face when Val admits that is priceless. BUT SPELLDON NOOOOOO WATCH OUT!

pg. 8: Val regretting the potion because he's in loooooove is so cute to see. "A couple thousand years" you want to spend a couple thousand years with your feelings for Spelldon awww. And he doesn't even act like he needs them to be reciprocated. Like, duh we all know what he's doing, but he never spells (pun unintentional but fully embraced) it out. The bracelet too from the Val's rose is a sweet little detail. Especially since they chose to give us THAT angle for that panel. They wanted us to see that in this moment. Valentine voicing his development is perfect. He really has grown and learned so much. SPELLDON WHAT?????? NOOOOO! and Val immediately regretting this whole thing because oh nooo Spelldon won't love him (🤨)

pg. 9: Okay Spelldon you trickster. "You really think i'd let you excise your emotions like that" (okay mom) "Yes? I asked you to!" Bro. That's super sweet though, he's been looking out for him this whole time, but couldn't just tell him no. Awww he wanted to spend time with him. AWWW VAL. I'm surprised Val didn't feel the love but maybe i've been reading his powers wrong. And then we have The Moment™ of course. Aww

pg. 10: Aw he and Drac made up. I'm glad they got closure from everything (the Pit Incident... and everything beforehand). WOAH val is so pretty, that turning panel??? Spelldon watching silently from the sidelines all proud. We have to remember that he met Spelldon BEFORE Whisp (and long before the two of them had their makeshift therapy sessions), and the day of the dance (where he failed his attempt to fix everything) from the original comics. He was still a mess then. He has been here since then, and got to see him grow. KIERAN VALENTINE FULL NAME RAHHHH COME OUT YE BLACK AND TANS COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN🇮🇪💪i'm glad they're pushing that because so many people think Valentine is his full name, it's actually crazy. Whisp wanting to meet Spelldon 👀 I need to see that now too! And Val ignoring her to hold Spelldon's hands, he's so clingy. I guess he has been this entire time with his yapping. And they walk into the sunset!!!

THE END!!!

I don't know if I wrote WAYYY too much, but I wanted to make sure I gave my full reaction (because lets face it, we've been starved for a while. thats why I got into fanfic like three-ish years ago). The notes got progressively longer as I went 😭

All in all I absolutely adore the comic. It's such a sweet glimpse into Valentine's growth and development, and I'm so glad to finally have a real Spelldon. The entire thing is such a good slice-of-life story that just feels calm and domestic and unforced, like there is no antagonist or unneeded tension to force things along. It's just Spell and Val.

[aluria-sevhex]

THE KING FUCKING ONE-SHOT ME

notes:

-why am i being so anxious lol. if i die i can loop again it's fine

-i love this game's music

-wtf is the stuff all over the place and the gate

-i love how when Sif forgets terms for stuff like the kiln the others will remind him

-a mirror...

-"everyone say fromage!" F R O N C H

-Siffrin has a lot of pocket space

-aw, Odile's eyes light up when she's learning things

-woah this Sadness is just giant hands

-I FOUND MIRA'S ROOM

-ooo Mirabelle likes horror

-the barrels. are EVERYWHERE

-discussion of crafting your body has led to the wonderful sentence "High heels hurt my feetsies..." thanks Isabeau

-woah Sif's cloak is magic

-Isabeau's so considerate of the fact that Sif doesn't like being touched :]

-ok where the fuck is Siffrin from and how did they get the cloak

-FUCK. LOOP KNOWLEDGE BLUNDER

--aw that's kinda cute how Odile will ask questions about stuff she already knows to get the emotional component

-huh. this gate has weird writing that they can't read. and the gate looks like... stars... hmmmmmmmm

-CREST TIME

-i picked the wrong way :( WELP TIME TO EXPLORE THIS ROOM

-ah yes the "handsome young men falling into beautiful heartbreaking madness" horror anthology

-THE SCHADENFREUDE!!!!!!!!!

-openphrase123

lol

-aight i'm looping now

-um. Loop. what would happen if you saw the others

-what's up with that book Bonnie was reading...

-WAIT FUCK I MEANT TO CHECK THE LOCKED HOUSES I'M GONNA HAVE TO LOOP AGAIN

-the world would be inside of the universe...

-yeah i can't be assed to search the entire House for the book rn that's like 2 floors i've cleared. i'm looping forward.

-the little nodding Siffrin when he zones out is cute

-woah. observatory...

-hmmmm Mira can't remember who studied in the observatory. maybe this is tied to Loop? or the starry gate? or the disappearing island?

-trying to read the books gives you a headache

-istg this is some Gaster shit

-COLOR? WAIT THE WORLD IS MONOCHROME. HOW IS THERE A BOOK ON COLOR THEORY

-Siffrin where the fuck are you from

-welp. looping time

-lol the crying key is in the super duper cool notebook

WAIT THAT'S A MEAN THING TO DO. THE GAME IS BEING MEAN LMAO

-loop-de-doop-de-doop

-might as well go do some things in Dormont if i'm looping anyway

-ok time to loop forward to floor 2

-uh-oh. Sif is having a crisis over not being good at their job. :(

-looping forwards. round and round and round we go...

-"if you hadn't picked up the key wouldn't we be stuck?"

Live Siffrin reaction: (Yes.)

-lol bathroom break. fictional characters NEVER go to the bathroom

-Sif whaddya need to do alone?

-lol

-Sif is SO glad to have the loops

-:0 intact Change God statue

-KEYKNIFE

-what the- they got teleported! this is sus...

-feel like the bit where Sif laments the loss of the keyknife and thinks they could've found another use for it might be foreshadowing...

-FUCK FUCK FUCK MIRA IS KO

-fml Odile is the only one left standing

-first game over damn

-jesus fucking christ this is a bleak game over screen

-is he gonna finish himself off

-fuck that's bleak

-ok he finished the Sadness off

-WAIT DO I HAVE TO GO THRU FLOOR 3 *AGAIN*??? THIS IS BULLSHIT

-grinding for exp

-had to go to dinner. back

-it's nice when Bonnie gets to deal the final blow :]

-time to try again!

-I DID IT :D

-uh-oh. Mira is freaking out at the sight of another frozen person :(

-oh her roommate :(

-Mirabelle you're not useless :(

-HOLD UP. THE *HEAD HOUSEMAIDEN* GAVE MIRABELLE THE ABILITY TO NOT GET FROZEN?

-hehe Odile is hungry. SNACK TIME... maybe *i* should eat more.

-love how crab is used like a swear word

-Siffrin's like "i"m fine!" and i'm like "ARE you?"

-hey King why do you have stars on your gauntlets

-THE KING JUST REFERENCED SIF SPECIFICALLY?

-...what does he need to remember...

-Siffrin is sus

-DID HE JUST FUCKING 1-HIT US?

-this is one hell of a game over

[huihuiheart]

Queen's Conch - Pirate! Ateez - 2 - Behind the SEAnes

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Queen’s Conch Masterlist

Pairing:  Pirate! Ateez x Fem! Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Mystery and Thriller if you squint

Summary: The man who had been spending his time with you on the beach was not who he seemed to be. Not that you knew that of course. It simply meant things were not as simple as they appeared to be.

Warnings: Deep sea, spells, magic, violence in future chapters, smut in future chapters, cursing, very minor character death.

Word Count: 1138

Johnny knew he was fucked, more than fucked when you disappeared. Breaking into the breach house, staking out places, all sorts of things, hoping he was wrong. With a sigh he finally accepts the reality of the situation, going back to his home. Locking the doors up tightly and shutting all the blinds. He then pulled out a gold doubloon he had hidden in a drawer, it appeared that it hadn’t aged a day, flipping it into the air. By the time it has landed in his palm, he’s on a pirate ship, centuries in the past.

“Captain! Johnny is back!” Someone shouts from behind him, catching an older man’s attention.

The man is scuffed up from a hard life at sea and many battles. Someone most certainly not to be trifled with. Johnny gulping as he makes his way over to him. 

“You have news?” The captain asks, puffing smoke out in Johnny’s face.

“One of your descendants disappeared offshore. A young woman.” Johnny confesses, tensing as the captain grabs his collar harshly, jostling him around.

“You had one job! To keep my descendants in that time, where no one could get to them and you can’t even do that!” The captain yells at him before shoving him onto the deck, “Fucking useless!”

Johnny pales when the captain’s pistol is pointed at him, “Captain Lee, please.”

Johnny is nearly resorting to begging despite knowing that a quick death would be the captain’s only way of showing mercy.  He flinches when a gunshot goes off, only it’s followed by a thud and he’s untouched.  Looking up wide-eyed as Taeyong stands there his own firearm smoking as he stands over his father’s lifeless body.

“Johnny tell me about this woman who got through, and someone clean up this mess. Captain’s orders.” Taeyong barks out, leading Johnny to the captain’s quarters that he had just ‘acquired’. Johnny followed quickly behind to divulge everything he’d learned about you in the days that you were together. 

“Well.. at least we know where they are going. It just means we cannot blow them straight out of the water.” Taeyong sighs and Johnny’s brows furrowed. Not that he wanted you harmed, but they didn’t exactly have a reputation for caring about blood ties… or any kind of connections here. His curiosity led him to ask which had Taeyong laughing humorlessly, “Because if the bloodline ends the curse breaks, and who knows what would end the bloodline? I’m not about to risk it.”

“That does complicate things.” Johnny agrees, “In good news, I gifted her a little something, so once she’s close I’ll know it.”

Taeyong smirks, “Well done Johnny. Keep me updated and change our course. We need to go protect what is ours.”

Johnny nods, rushing out to obey the new captain’s orders. Eager to redeem himself and make a better name with Taeyong. Hoping to avoid more wrath from the Lee dynasty of pirates. Jumping on any task that Taeyong relayed. Including sending messages to the rest of the fleet. 

The other ships are moving to join the new captain either en route or at the destination. Taeyong intended to make it even more impossible to steal from him. Already knowing that he couldn’t expect anything to make Hongjoong or his crew back down.

“Johnny we need to make a stop on the way,” Taeyong calls, stomping his way up to the highest area of the deck. 

“Aye captain, where to?” Johnny asks, grip tightening on the rudder as he awaits the command.

“Siren’s cove.” Taeyong’s direction makes everyone freeze. Not having any desire to defy the captain’s orders, but also having no desire to get twisted in with sirens. Johnny isn’t about to risk vocalizing that though as he silently follows directions. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief when upon arrival Taeyong says he’ll go to the small inlet alone. The crew watches with bated breath as he lacks any hesitation, rowing himself to the sand and then walking into one of the caves.

As Taeyong walks deeper into the cave any siren who hisses or attempts to lure him is met with a harsh glare. The man soon reached the center of the cave system and bowed his head to the woman on the throne.

“It has been far too long Taeyong.” She says beaming at the man as she gets up to walk towards him.

“I wish my visit were under better circumstances though Mother,” Taeyong responds, basking in the attention his mother is giving to him.

“What’s wrong Taeyong? Did something happen?” His mother inquires, leading him to go sit with her.

“I killed father. He was about to ruin everything, so I killed him. It was too soon though… there's not enough in order.” Taeyong sighs, running a hand through his hair, “There’s another problem too… one of our descendants made it through to Hongjoong. A woman.”

“Oh? A woman? How intriguing.” His mother smirks at the thought, “What do you need from me?”

“Our troops will station with our treasure on the off chance that they break the curse, but if you could throw some more thing in the way to at least buy the fleet more time I would appreciate that.” Taeyong requests and his mother nods.

“That’s no problem son, leave that to me. Also this woman… do not worry too much about her. She might just be the final nail in Hongjoong’s coffin.” His mother assures him, “Just allow me time to think about that and set my eyes on her.”

Taeyong nods, “Thank you, mother. I’ll be sure to do my part in cleaning up this mess too.”

“You will do well my son, I am sure of it. Now go make me proud.” His mother says before dismissing him. Taeyong bowed before taking his leave. Returning back to his ship to continue on toward their final destination, the heart of their treasure. 

Something that had been acquired not simply by means of man’s power, but with sirens as well. Getting themselves both a source of food and also a collection of magical vices. As well as precious items, not that things of human value were their concern. They simply had what they did of that for the beauty of it. Taeyong’s mother is the one who welcomed them into this era of power in doing so. An empire she’d now have even more control over now that her son had killed his father. The only potential wrench is you being on Hongjoong’s ship. If you were their descendant though then it meant you had siren blood in you. Something that she knew there was a good chance she could use to destroy the crew of the Eternal. She just needed to know how much of their power-hungry spirit you had inherited. 

[gold-rhine]

Xiao x Gn! Reader

Warnings: not safe for work, but this one turned out much softer than usual. Sub\dom!reader undertones are still kinda there, but give it a try even if you’re not into this dynamic. First time, handjob, anal sex, mentions of voeyrism (kinda? briefly through the dream), I’m gonna say “cock”, but it stands for strap too, it’s just awkward to keep specifying. 

Wordcount: 4,3k

A\N: Repost bc my previous blog got shadowbanned. I was not sure if I knew what to do for Xiao, but then I remembered that one of his themes is dreamwalking and that’s legit my JAM. It turned out less smutty and more of a psychosexual character study, but I’m still quite fond of it. It’s pretty cheesy, but you know what, Xiao deserves a break. There will be some filth under the cut still. Shoutout to “Nothing to no one” by Gin Wigmore and Placebo’s “Protege Moi” for carrying me through this one.

Xiao is curt and intense to the point of coming off as rude, but never more harsh to anyone but himself. Longing for connection, but consciously denying it himself time after time, severity done like a mask to hide the broken, bleeding bones of gentleness, no time for “trifling human matters”, but enough to return a stolen doll to a little girl. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling, babe.

And it’s not like he doesn’t know what he wants, oh no, he does, he just won’t admit it even under torture

Friendship lvl3: “Desire? Ha. Do not judge adepti by your mortal ideals. I have no desire.”

Friendship lvl5: “Hiding? I'm hiding nothing. I just won't speak of desire to others. Do mortals not have a rule about spoken wishes never coming true? Hm? What do you mean that's not the same?”

So you admit it, you just fucking lied at lvl3 when you said you “have no desire”?? You just gonna casually go from “Foolish mortal, I have no desires unlike you” to “Of course, I have desires, I want them so badly I won’t even speak them out loud for the fear of jinxing them.” yeah, no, that checks out, SURE.

In Xiao’s world, you don’t communicate what you want, you bottle that shit up and hide it deep inside, and you don’t even admit this bottle exists, let alone tell anyone what’s inside. You don’t believe these wishes will ever come true and you don’t think you deserve it, but because deep down you know you are a weak, corrupted creature, you still hope against all hopes and despise yourself for this foolishness. 

Speaking of which, Xiao collects reasons for self-hatred like it’s his ascension material.

Like, “My only worth is as a weapon, so normal people should not interact with me because I only bring corruption and I am good for nothing outside of bloodshed”

This prickly pride of being a skillful weapon is a double-edged sword of discarding himself as being useless for anything but battle.

Like you have their little training course interaction with Ganyu during her story quest, which btw she receives positively and is grateful for his help, and Xiao’s line about it is:

“You believe a Yaksha who knows nothing more than how to massacre countless souls and emerge unscathed is a suitable mentor for such an individual?”

… babe, can you chill for like, three seconds? You made a defense mini game with like 20 slimes for her, it’s not gonna turn a cocogoat into a cold-blooded killer,

And this dismissal of self-worth outside of combat ties in nicely with bottling up a volatile mix of yearning, loneliness, frustration, despair and innate sensitivity that couldn’t be dulled down even by centuries of self-hatred and pain, and only letting it all out in an incandescent rage in battle, which leads to

“I only feel alive when fighting, which means I’m a monster who only thrives on bloodlust,” despite like, refusing himself all positive stimuli 

“Thriving on bloodlust” somehow not contradicted by the fact that he yearns for beauty and hates this miserable existence so much that he’s legit jumping at the first opportunity to go out in the blaze of glory if it even has a chance to be helpful to other people, and could only be stopped by his dad's Zhongli’s intervention and all off his new friend group going “we’re would be really sad if you died”

Then he’s like “ok i’ll keep on living i guess :\”

(i’m still so salty that they didn’t let Itto talk at all, his story quest speech about sacrifice being an easy and cowardly way out to discard responsibility that doesn’t fix root problems fits Xiao’s situation SO WELL argh) 

Yeah no, all other yakshas talked about wanting peace and his own namecard describes dreaming of peace and donning the mask to dance instead of killing, but yakshas are inherently bloodthirsty species, so there’s no hope for him, that checks out, sure.  

So to summarize, despite how direct Xiao seems at first glance, interacting with him is actually a complex navigation between things he says out loud that he knows are not true, things he says that he can’t admit to himself are not true due to self-loathing, and just general tsundere bullshit. You’ll need a LOT of patience.

Like, does he want to be accepted and loved? Desperately. Will he accept someone trying to do so straightforwardly? Absolutely the fuck not. 

If you try to straight up compliment him, he’d be like “L+ratio+you foolish mortal + You think a killer who devoured countless souls can be cute? + you have bad taste actually + that's disrespectful to the ways of the adepti”

Echoing being unable to voice his desires, Xiao can only accept warmth in indirect, stolen moments, half-glances, throwaway remarks, because connection feels too fragile to be named directly. And remember, spoken wishes never come true

The rituals are *very* intricate

You’re not just walking on eggshells around him, the eggshells are aggressively throwing themselves under your feet and biting at your ankle to make you crush them, so he can be like “see? I don’t deserve love anyway, i was right to hate myself”  

like one comedy article said, “It’s good if a man is skittish and terrified of affection, like a beautiful horse that appears on the edge of a frozen lake one day and you have to tame it by bringing it a handful of food every day until it slowly comes to learn your scent (but with sex)”

That’s Xiao in a nutshell, but you’re bringing seeds to a bird-feeder and the bird has chronic pain and is scared to hurt you

Here’s the thing though. You’ll know he’s yours when he starts showing interest in your perspective on everyday things. He’s curious by nature, but never lets himself wonder, unless he’s sure beyond the doubt that his participation is wanted. 

“Xiao: I have no intention of getting close to the lives of mortals.

 Xiao: But I know that you often enter and leave the city, walking amidst the crowd.

 Xiao: The stories of these times, or their joys... If I don't experience such things myself, it'll be hard to understand your thoughts.

So... you're doing this for me?

 Xiao: Yes, to understand you.

 Xiao: I had a feeling that it would be difficult, but after having such thoughts, I can't simply sit back and do nothing.”

He’s inquisitive and quick thinking, but very socially awkward and prone to hiding his true desires. So even before asking you to include him, he starts scouting your dreams.

It’s nothing invasive like devouring dreams or dragging projections into the real world. Just catching brief, fleeting glimpses,carefully pressed against the soap bubble of your dream. Even in short flashes, it helps to see things from your point of view.

…and sometimes, rarely, he catches images of how you see him, so bewilderingly different from what he’s used to, not the corruption-ridden creature with ugly lines of the fanged mask etched onto his face and blood staining his hands, but instead…

Sharp turn of his head when you call out his name, and the sun illuminates him from behind, brilliant halo shining through the messy dark hair, and he can’t even recognize himself in this memory, golden-eyed and gorgeous, so he bundles up this vision, hides it deep inside among other unattainable, undeserved, unspoken wishes. 

It’s self-indulgent, a bit pathetic for the adeptus, but ultimately harmless, like a weakness for the almond tofu. A spark of sweetness to get him through the misery of his everyday life.

Until one night he catches a dream where you’re fucking him.

It throws him off balance so hard, he flees immediately, not just from the dreamspace, but teleporting to an isolated mountain peak.

But the image is seared into his retinas nonetheless.

It’s because he’s offended, he tries to tell himself. How extremely disrespectful. As if an adeptus like himself, who has no interest in the foolishness of mortal desires, would want to be sprawled under you, dizzy with pleasure, held and kissed and caressed, like he’s the most beautiful and wanted thing in the world, like touching him brings joy, like…

He has to teleport again, but it doesn’t help. Horrified, he realizes he’s aroused.

It’s a tough couple of weeks for the both of you.

He’s even more sullen and jumpy than normally, and when you ask him if everything’s okay and if there’s anything you can do to help, he gets a panicked look of a deer in headlights and vanishes.

You decide it’s probably some yaksha angst and it’s better to give him some space

You don’t remember your dream, and even if you did, you wouldn’t think much of it.

He can’t stop thinking about it. It resurfaces, uncalled, in the most inopportune moments, no matter how hard he tries to push it down. The obscene view of himself, arms over the head, parted lips, back arched and legs spread wide with you between them. 

He didn’t stay long enough to catch more, but even this is enough to drive him up the walls, sometimes literally, to make him want something he can’t properly name. He was used to tolerating the constant gnawing pain of the corruption, but this needy ache is maddening, fading and reappearing when least expected to throw him off kilter.

He alternates from watching over your dreams intently to being unable to even glance at them, but on the nights when he does look, there’s nothing similar.

Which is good. It means you were not serious about it, it was just a fluke. Minds of mortals are notoriously fickle, especially in the dream state, and can produce all sorts of ridiculous fantasies and ideas that mean nothing.

Of course it meant nothing, who would seriously see a weapon for eons steeped in blood and corruption as a lover?  What pleasure could you expect from someone whose very nature and purpose is slaughter? It could only lead to disappointment. Repulsion, even. It’d be preposterous to even think about it.

Which is why it’s outrageous that he *is* still thinking about it.

But now it’s been a few weeks and the pulsing want dulled down, lost a terrifying thrill of possibility of being reciprocated, and is almost ready to become another weak, shameful yearning, bottled up and shoved into a dark corner. 

And then his heart jumps into his throat when he sees you dreaming of Wangshu Inn’s balcony drowned in moonlight, and he’s in your arms as you’re sitting by one of tables, he’s straddling your thighs, your mouth and hands wandering over his naked chest and collarbones.

The half-drowsed ember of desire roars back in thrice the force, and feverishly, he thinks of an idea. What if he took place of his own image? Then he could learn what it feels like. He could finally stop wondering what would happen and just get over this maddening sickness. And you won’t even notice the switch. You’ll probably end up unsatisfied because he would not be able to give you the pleasure you expected, but it’s all a fleeting, momentary dream for you anyway, not worthy of remembering in the morning.

He spent centuries hunting dreams, but never tried to become a part of them, so he doesn’t realize a simple truth: a dream cannot be entered without being shared equally.

The first thing that changes in your dream when he becomes a part of it is actually the sky, but you don’t notice it because the responsive, pliant body in your arms suddenly becomes woodenly tense. At the same time, your awareness deepens, dream becoming almost lucid, as you gain control over yourself, but not surroundings. 

What confuses you even more is a barrage of strange emotions coming down at you out of nowhere: anxiety on the verge of panic, fearful anticipation, needy, smoldering fervor of desire. 

You look up at Xiao’s face to see him looking almost severe if not for the heavy blush and refusal to meet your eyes, breath held nervously, and realize in an instant - this is actually him, not the figment of your imagination, it’s his thoughts and emotions you can now glimpse like he usually does with others when dreamwalking.  

And also, that if you even try to acknowledge this, he’ll bolt to the other end of the world, so you don’t say anything.

It’s tempting to claim his mouth, but he’s too petrified, his jaw clenched tightly. Instead, you trail the line of kisses down his throat and feel the sharp pang of his relief at supposedly not being discovered. 

You caress him slowly, carefully, moving tenderly over his arched neck, sharp curves of the collarbones, chest that rises fast and feverishly in shaky breathes, taste nervous flare of his pulse in the deliciously delicate hollow of his throat, until the warm pleasure spreads under his skin, melts frozen rigidness into a different kind of tension, a taut bowstring, drawn tightly, trembling at every touch. 

When you nuzzle at the underside of his jaw, he moves his head abruptly and presses his mouth against yours, tense because he wants this so badly, but doesn’t know what to do with himself, an awkward angle and all teeth. But you take your time, slide your fingers into his hair and tilt his head, kiss his lips until he finally relaxes and opens up. When you slide your tongue against his, he makes the tiniest noise, barely audible tremble caught in his throat.

He was worried about how inexperienced he is, but when he’s too lost in the kiss, desire takes care of this easily. Without realizing, he’s arching in your arms, grinding against your legs. When you slide your hands lower, over his stomach, hips, stroke his thighs, he moans into your mouth and opens his knees wider, thrusts against you, already hard.

You slide your hand into his pants and close your fingers over his cock and he shudders, breaks the kiss, realizing what you are doing, what he was doing, how easily he’s losing control, his wild yellow eyes wide and uncertain.

“It’s okay,” you tell him softly. “Everything is going to be okay. Let me take care of you, baby.”

He catches your affection, shared through the dream, and the narrow vertical slits in his eyes widen, blackness flaring up against gold. With a short, shuddering draw of the breath, he relents, leans into you to nuzzle at your cheek. You can feel his blush heating up against your skin, flutter of the eyelashes. 

You start stroking his cock slowly, holding him with your other arm, whisper sweet reasurings into his ears, understanding how hard it is for him to show vulnerability, even under the supposed disguise. 

His hips start moving again, now in rhythm with your hand, and you quicken the pace. Suddenly, you realize he’s naked except for the gloves, because the dream lets things happen easier, removes inconveniences, requiring nothing but mutual intent. You can’t help but smirk, press a wet kiss to the side of his jaw and twist your hand over the head of his cock. He lets out a stifled gasp, his tip throbs and starts leaking in your palm. He lifts his arms as if to grasp at your shoulders, but stops before he can touch you, lets them drop. 

But you notice that something is wrong with his hands - the gloves are a part of him, darkness etched painfully into his flesh, and instead of the slender fingers you know he actually has, his hands end in ugly sharp claws, covered in splotches of dried blood. Your heart breaks a little when you realize this is how he sees himself, this is what he thinks his touch would feel like. But you cannot argue directly, can’t say that it’s not true without breaking a fragile silence between you, acknowledging that it’s actually him.  

So instead you catch his chin in your free hand. “Hey, look at me.”

He meets your eyes, his own hazy, feverish with need, but he looks at you intensely. “You are so good,” you tell him quietly, holding his gaze even as his eyes widen, your hand over his cock moving faster and faster. “You are so beautiful, baby. I wouldn’t want anyone else in the world here instead of you.” 

He cries out, sharp and surprised, almost pained with helplessness, like a hawk shot in the air midflight, and comes undone. When he unravels in your arms, his old, half-forgotten, buried dreams spill out too. 

So when he falls back, tugging you with him, he lands not on wooden planks of Wangshu Inn’s balcony, but on the soft cover of tangled lush grass. Tall green stalks meet over your head, as if trying to protect, hide a secret from the world.

A strange word from the ancient, dead language surfaces in your mind, a word that meant “sea of wind” - a name of vast grasslands that once covered these plains, endless green waves that rolled under the breeze from horizon to horizon. 

His body is pale under you, dappled in moonlight that manages to get through the hover of softly wavering grass. Flickering light of the fireflies, green and lemony-yellow, doesn’t illuminate anything, but only makes the dark emerald shadows deeper in-between the narrow stalks where they move. But his golden eyes are very bright, still quietly shocked, searching, never leaving your face like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he looks away.  

You smile, lean down to catch his mouth, and he kisses you with abandon, still awkward, but with sweetness that neither you nor him knew he was capable of. The air smells faintly of warm earth, fresh grass and bittersweet Qingxin flowers. The moments stretch for eternity like only dreams allow for, full moon halting in the dark starry skies above. 

He wants more, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it, doesn’t have the words. But in this state of bewildered, warm haziness, drunk of both lust and certainty of your desire, his shame evaporates. He remembers the first dream he saw, the image that haunted him for weeks, and recreates it - arms thrown over head, arched back and spread legs.

Except he looks infinitely better, countless details that the fantasy could not account for, - breathless, tangled in green shadows and silver moonlight, lithe and wiry-muscled, heavy flush of his cheeks contrasted to the eager, glowing gold eyes, arm flexing under tattoo as he clutches at the grass to keep himself still, subtle tremble of his open thighs, hard, pulsing cock, leaking on the tense stomach, already stained with cum.

In the waking world, you’d spend considerable time preparing him, given how inexperienced and sensitive he is. Even without that consideration, another time you’d want to go teasingly slowly, make him writhe on your fingers, plead for mercy.

But right now, in these stolen moonlit moments it feels too ugent, too desperate, and the fever of a dream lets you skip the steps, sweep right into sliding into him. This time he arches under you not for show, silent gasp and widened eyes.

You pause, letting him adjust to the feeling of your cock inside of him, ravish him with kisses in the meanwhile, feel him squirm, overwhelmed and gratified by both sensations and your hunger for him. When he finally bucks his hips against you, you start moving, first carefully, then turning to the hard, firm pace, and it runs through him, echoes in choked grunts and feverish drum of the heart. The dream bends to this steady beat, light of the fireflies pulsing in tact, and somehow he’s both on the grass beneath you and rising up, in the same rhythm, sharp cyclical thrusts upwards.

Suddenly, sky spills all around you, the lights of stars mingling with the fireflies in between the narrow grass stalks, and golden wings of the wind that takes you upward beat in the rhythm of your movement. The sky around you is too vast and sharp, the depth and freedom you’ve never seen before, and you realize this is what it feels like to taste the joy of a creature born to soar.

He’s too lost in the pleasure, looking up at you, the sky opening up for him with every thrust, every lunge. He can’t remember the last time when he took flight just for the joy of it, when he looked up instead of down to track the enemies and come crashing in a flurry of broken spears. All these centuries of being sure he was made for violence, and suddenly it sheds off him like dust, all this time thinking he can only feel alive during battle, and now his body sings so easily, so naturally, and it sings of wind and starlight, not of rage and blood. 

When he reaches the peak of the ascent, time slows down for a weightless, breathless moment, a precipice after which he usually turns flight into a controlled, violent plunge. Instead, with a quiet, helpless moan, he closes his eyes and lets himself fall.

Stars burn under his eyelids, ancient, forgotten constellations flaring up, mixing with the current ones, until it’s impossible to tell them apart, entangled like your bodies in the soft grass that was destroyed centuries ago, a new celestial atlas that exists only for the two of you.

Even as he curls against you after, soft and sweet, you can feel bitter, ashen current staining the dream: he thinks this is the only time he gets to feel happy. And in the moment, it seems absolutely ludicrous to keep the pretense of not knowing that it’s him and let him wallow in his angst.

“Xiao,” you tell him quietly, gently stroking sharp knobs of his spine, “it’s okay. You can be mine. The world is not going to end.”

He freezes for a second, his eyes going wide in panic, and then vanishes abruptly. Dream shatters into a thousand shards, and you wake up with a gasp.

You give him a few days to process and then, on the moonlit Wangshu’s balcony after all the guests have left, you quietly call his name.

He appears on the other side of the balcony, arms crossed, looking sullen and severe, which could look intimidating if you didn’t know him and if not for a little detail.

“You don’t have to stand that far, I can still see that you’re blushing.”

 He scowls. “What do you want?”

“I thought we should talk about what happened.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was foolish. For both of us.”

“Talk for yourself.”

“No, it was extremely foolish for you too,” he says with sudden, agitated passion. “You knew what I am, I’ve told you from the start to keep your distance. I’ve never asked you to… I’ve warned you to treat me as a weapon, and…”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap again! I’ve tasted your sky. I know the violence is not your only nature.”

He chokes on his breath, looks away, then says quietly.

“It may not be, but it is the only thing I’m proficient with. So what does it matter what was once my nature? There are many others, more suitable for you to…”

“Well, that’s not for you to decide. You don’t get to tell me who I want. You can only choose for yourself.”

He glances at you very quickly and looks away again with a quiet “Hmph,” but you can tell how torn and unsure of what to do he is.

“Xiao,” you say softly, reaching out to him. “Come here.”

He looks at you for a long moment and then vanishes. You curse under your breath and flop down on a chair in frustration. But then suddenly the air smells sharply of ozone and in a flurry of teal and black, Xiao appears on top of you.

He looks incredibly irritated and refuses to meet your eyes, but he’s straddling you, so you grin and grip his hips. His hand instinctively moves to cover yours, but he stops himself before he can touch you. This time you don’t have to pretend you don’t notice.

You catch his hand and gently pull off the tight-fitting black glove. He finally looks at you, surprised. 

“What are you doing?”

“Hm?” you fake innocence, because two can play the ‘not acknowledging true subtext of the actions’ game. “I don’t know what your plans were when you landed on top of me, but sex generally requires undressing.”

He frowns in confusion, then freezes when you bring his hand to your mouth. His pale fingers are long and bony, and you hold his gaze while pointedly kissing each angular knuckle. It only fully hits him when you turn his hand and press your lips to his scarred palm, then move them down to the tender skin of his wrist.

He doesn’t say anything, but his narrow pupils widen in an instant, and when you kiss him, you can feel his hands slowly, hesitantly sliding over your shoulders.

[tenderhungering]

veep headcanons? :3

oh this will take a WHILE……i love veep so much. i’m about to wrap up season 6 right now ! i think i’ll do little headcannons / analysis for each character ! i might do a part 2 because i want to also do some more supporting characters. like you know damn well im gonna wanna write for catherine and marjorie as a whole,,,

Selina

named catherine “catherine” like her mother in order to be able to yell said name in anger the way she never could yell back at her mother

the severe mommy issues make her need every single one of her staff to be emotionally involved in her. if she isn’t the center of their life, she gets anxious about it, even angry. she needs to be validated

depends heavily on spellcheck,,, i just think she hates phones for some reason.

she can tell EXACTLY how someone is feeling by making it up in her head and believing it ❤️

got arrested once in her youth and it was wiped off the record. #supportwomen’swrongs

Amy

would do super super well taking up something that makes her adrenaline pump. they keep trying to get her to relax by making her get massages, meditate and be in quiet. she needs NOISE. she should be allowed to beat someone up at least once a day

had a little gray cat whenever she was younger. she likes them ! they’re similar to how she is whenever it comes to boundaries.

bisexual but she has a stressful job so she doesn’t have time to think about that rn

she would benefit from me in her life actually

actually really liked dan bc dan seems to personalize the relationship to the person (dan is so kind ❤️) so she was into him but suddenly got the ick.

Dan

trigger warning for SA and grooming: i think dan’s relationship with sex is so affected by the fact he slept with his teacher whenever he was younger in exchange for a good grade. it has made him view it was an exchange, a transactional affair. it’s why he’s so shit at intimacy, he doesn’t see to her anything out of it.

watches all the latest movies but it’s only because he keeps taking women out to go see them:

has a really sensitive stomach,,,,he says it’s something he ate but i feel like whenever he gets anxious it happens to

catholic guilt galore but he’s busy so he CANNOT get into it

he’s so the type of boyfriend who does baby talk and when he’s recorded he gets real mad about it. get that camera OUTTA here

Mike

he is like a baby duckling to me that’s why he wanted to raise them actually

has so many useless apps on his phone. why do you have a flashlight app you have a flashlight BUILT into the phone. its okay though bc he watches lot of youtube tutorials

probably wanted to vlog at some point but he got yelled at by selina in a clip so he stopped

the personality hire,,, everyone loves him but god he can be so bad at his job sometimes. everyone gets mad but never enough to fire him

because he started dating wendy, he started to dress up a little more ! ties and handkerchiefs match. i love you dad

Jonah

he so ran one of those private meme accounts whenever he was younger but he got so bad at everyone saying they were lame he just posted a screenshot that said SUCK MY DICK SON and blocked everyone

his incessant gross comments are a result of being around a bunch of rich white men that happen to be politicians that tend to laugh at them. he has daddy issues. he needs the validation

his little curls going missing are a result of him getting his hair straightened because he wanted to look more professional actually. he burnt his hands so he begged his mom to help him

gets really anxious about his health CONSTANTLY and has a will written out already because he’s scared one day it’ll (he doesn’t know what) catch up to him

Gary

he knows the lyrics to every new pop song ever. he loves it. he used to play Just Dance whenever he was in college or something i don’t know i feel like he might’ve even been in a club that requires that

has an extensive skin care routine. he puts on those fluffy headbands sometimes but stopped bc he realized it was to keep your hair dry and his is so short lmao

definitely has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. he just pops a pill of whatever and hopes that it works (it doesn’t)

needs heavy validation from authority figures,,,like badly,,, i think that’s why he enjoys it so much whenever any of selina’s boyfriends acknowledge him as a person (or anyone gives him any importance)

he needs someone to tell him what to do because he is so lost on having any identify that isn’t directly tied to someone else ? he’s not even really sure what he himself likes anymore. uses “we” more than he uses “i”

[crepes-suzette-373]

【Dengeki Blue Game Stream】Battle Fruits Nine w/ Stealth Black - Dengeki Blue carries the level while Stealth Black is Useless as always [off-camera view]

A kind of fanfic version of that one drawing I made of Niji and Sanji being Vtubers. There's no real plot. Just modern AU chaos and rambling and general silliness. Everyone's normal/happy, the Vinsmokes are a good family, no sad, no angst, no painful drama.

This all basically just a big joke because "Nijisanji" is a Vtuber company name.

[AO3 Link]

----

He’d brought this upon himself, Sanji had to admit. The last time Niji nagged him to “guest” in his livestream, Sanji said he’d do it if Niji got him Vegapunk’s new mini combi oven, just to get Niji off his back. All Vegapunk appliances are expensive, and even if their family was well-off he figured it’s still high enough up there in price to make Niji leave him alone for a while.

The oven showed up in the brothers’ shared apartment within 2 days.

Sanji wasn’t sure if he was more baffled about Niji having that much money to spare, or that Niji wanted him on the stream that badly. He still felt guilty about it, though, so he’d told Niji he promised to agree to be a guest without protest 10 times, as long as he’s not tied up with more important things to do.

Naturally, he got ambushed the very next day.

That was how Sanji found himself sitting and waiting for Niji to set up whatever it is that was required to have a second person on his livestream, and hoped that it wouldn’t be a “talk stream” session that day. Chattering idly with anyone for an extended amount of time without there being some other activity involved, like eating or watching TV or him cooking, always made him feel awkward. With a gameplay stream, at least there was the game they’d be playing.

Not to mention, “his” virtual character apparently had a specific backstory associated with it, and being on a talk stream tended to involve having to adlib some kind of fictional story on the fly. Fortunately, he wasn’t required to keep up play-acting the character the whole time, no, and he left most of the wild details to Niji. He still had to include the fictive anecdotes, though, because of… some reason he much preferred to not know.

It was very confusing the first time he got dragged into this. Niji sat him down and explained in great detail about the backstory of his virtual persona, and Sanji still had no idea why he didn’t immediately run away then. It was a complicated setting with superheroes (or was it supervillains?) called Germa 66, mad scientists, clones, and quite honestly he wasn’t sure he remembered all of it.

Niji did set up their characters to have mundane daily lives, like all good classic superheroes do. That way they can also mention some things about things they did in reality and pretend that was part of the mandatory “lore”-talk, and not have to constantly make up random stories about aliens and robots.

They still had to be careful not to reveal things that are too personal or private, though. Sanji almost called Niji by his real name instead of Dengeki Blue a couple of times at first, and Niji kicked him in the shins every time that happened. As thankful for the save as he did, he still always kicked back.

“Aaalright, and here ya go.” Niji finally finished fiddling around the computers and handed Sanji a controller and headphones.

“What’s the game gonna be?”

“We’re continuing Battle Fruits. Still remember how to play that?”

“Of course I do, damn you, I’m not a techno-peasant!”

Niji cackled. “If ya say so,” he said with an oh-so-smug voice, putting on his anti-glare goggles and rolled his chair to face the screens.

Sanji doesn’t reply. Yes, he played by random button mashing and can’t remember any skill combos. Yes, Niji usually does most of the work in clearing the missions. He still knew what button does what, though, so that still counts as knowing how to play. 

“Starting in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… And—Loyal Germa fans rejoice, Dengeki Blue is back with everyone’s favourite guest: Stealth Black!”

There’s a reason why Sanji was very glad his character was just a static image, and not a moving model like Niji’s, because he doesn’t have to worry about his movements making the model behave weirdly. Niji’s opening babble were always ridiculous, and he could never not have the urge to cover his face and groan.

The character image was not actually him, but some of his friends were regular viewers of this stream, and they will make fun of him for any character hiccups. There was that one time the image was for some reason displaying upside down, from the top of the screen, and Usopp then called him “ninja” for days upon days after.

“Black, say hi to yer fans.”

Sanji removed his hands from his face, and saw that it was not the game screen that was on, but the setup normally used for the talk stream. Immediately suspicious, he asked, “Aren’t we playing Battle Fruits?”

“It’s just a little chat. I’ll open the game in a sec. Just say hi for a bit.”

“Do I have to?”

“They already heard ya talking, so ya might as well. Come on, say something nice, or yer fans will cry.”

It was an annoying testament that he had been here for too many times when he looked at the chat box and actually remembered and recognized a lot of the names among the flurry of comments. Still, he wouldn’t deny it was flattering to see the excited welcoming remarks.

Oh, there’s Usopp. The name “GodSogeKing” flew by, and he said, “Hello SogeKing” instinctively.

“Oooh, ya said someone’s name!” Niji crowed, “Ya done did it now.”

“What? Why?”

“Yer not playing fair. The others are really mad jealous now~”

“How is that any different from saying ‘Hello everyone in the chat’?” Sanji protested.

Niji shrugged, grinning. “I don’t make the rules.”

The chat was, indeed, now peppered with new comments saying the varying forms of “Stealth Black say my name too”. Once again, it was somewhat flattering (if a bit weird), but he would never loudly admit that.

“Say, what if we make that a chat donations thing? Nothing special, ya can just say ‘thank you whoever’.”

“Are you trying to use me for cash bait? No!”

“Fine, fine, but speaking of yer fans though, ya ok with having merch of ya, at least? One Dr.Death has been a pest about Stealth Black merch forever.”

Sanji huffed a laugh. “Dr.Death? What kind of edgy junior high online username is that?”

He immediately realised his mistake, but it was too late. Niji was already hysterical beside him.

“Ya heard that Dr.Death? He said your name! I know yer there. Bet yer drowning in happy tears, aren’t ya?”

“What the hell? Did you just trick me to say that? What merch are you even on about?”

Niji shook his head, still howling with laughter. “No, really, that right there is your biggest fan. Back me up chat, tell Black what Dr.Death said. And here’s merch.” He then pulled out his phone and showed a picture of a little Dengeki Blue keychain.

Well, if it was just the illustrated character and not him having to dress up, then it’s no issue. “Okay by me, about the merch, but...”

“Yes!”

Niji proceeded to go on about the logistics of the merch, so Sanji looked at the chat box again. Lo and behold, there actually was a Dr.Death in there. The aforementioned user was vehemently denying the barrages of comments providing so-called proof that Niji was right and other teasing remarks.

Dr.Death: Hey, Black, if you’re seeing this, I was NOT like that!

It was immediately followed by a ton of more comments, all saying “lies lies”.

SuperFrankyR0b0: Bro, the previous stream chats are all still there. Everyone can see it.

Damn. With even Franky saying that it was true, Sanji decided it was definitely too weird and ignored the chat until Niji finally started the game.

Despite even the game’s tutorial recommending using different Fruit Battlers for each stage, Sanji always picked the Orange Battler. She was his favourite and no amount of whingeing from Niji or the viewers about her being useless in certain levels could change that. Niji selected the Banana one this time, probably because that’s the actual best character for the level.

“The banana matches your hair,” Sanji said.

“Shut up!”

That was true of both Niji and Dengeki Blue, so Niji couldn’t kick him. Rather, he shouldn’t have a reason to, but still tried to kick anyway. Sanji dodged it.

Many minutes into the game later, the conversation topic had turned to future streaming plans, which was mostly answered by Niji.

Someone suggested another cooking talk stream, and this was the only kind of talk stream Sanji had no problems with. One stream session long ago, he’d been dragged onto a talk stream that he’d tried to leave multiple times, until somehow the viewers and Niji conspired to finesse him into talking about cooking. He ended up staying for 3 hours. Aside from the chat being flooded by people whingeing about getting hungry, it otherwise went pretty well.

(The viewers in that session, of all people, happened to include Luffy and Ace, who both came to him demanding to be compensated with real food the first chance they got.)

Another suggested a live cooking stream. That would be a no; not unless there’s some empty kitchen they could borrow or rent. Everyone in the apartment agreed that the livestreams should never show their building. Not even inside Niji’s room.

“Winch Green? Eeh, probably doable soon. No promises on Pink.”

Then the topic turned to guests. There were frequently requests for the other “Germa 66” members to show up. Niji had set up Dengeki Blue as a part of a team to make it easier to cover up slip ups when he accidentally mentioned overly-revealing real life things in his early streaming days. The 4 of them brothers share an apartment, besides. The backstory served as a handy excuse in case of noises of people walking around or talking can be heard through without breaking character. Yonji, especially, can be rather loud.

Getting Reiju to come on the stream was naturally difficult, since she lived with their parents and had full time work, but she was otherwise very agreeable. With Yonji, it’s only a matter of catching him between homework and classes and bribing him with a ton of food.

Ichiji, well…

It was just then that Sanji looked at the chat that he had been ignoring, and noticed that there was a wall of comments about “Sparking Red”, a.k.a Ichiji.

“Why are these people so obsessed with Red anyway?” he asked, “Is it because he’s the only one who’s never been on stream?”

“Oh that…” Niji said distractedly, his fingers hitting keys furiously to execute a combo attack, “I never told ya, huh? Hold on.” He didn’t speak again until after the Banana Battler on the screen mowed down a field of enemies, and “Objective Cleared” flashed on the screen. “Red came in yelling at me once, and everyone heard him. Chat’s gone insane ever since. It’s like those crazes over trying to catch a phantom beast or something.”

That was news. It was one thing to just hear about a character through the lore talks, but Ichiji has actually been heard clearly and not just vague noises through the door.

“How long ago was this?”

“Maybe almost two years ago? Around… around after that time ya crazy weirdos kept saying I was a zombie.”

Ah yes, the Zombie Niji incident—wait a second. Sanji straightened up. Wasn’t that also around the time when…

“Red’ll murder me if I ask him to come on, but eh, figured there’s still ya guys,” Niji babbled on. “The chat love it.”

That was about the time when Niji started pestering him and Yonji to come on the streams. To think that the entire reason for it was Ichiji—Ichiji!!

Sanji fumed. He decided it would be his mission to somehow, by hook or by crook, drag Ichiji on to the stream as well. Damn it all, even if it actually would make Niji and his weird chat group happy, he would still get it done. Ichiji caused it, so he should get to experience it too.

Maybe he’ll get Yonji and Reiju to team up for this mission later.

----

The quadruplets are still in uni/college, and they live in this apartment away from home. Ichiji working at the family company, whatever it is, part time. Reiju already working there full time. Niji is a Vtuber on the side when not in school. Sanji works at Baratie part time. Yonji is just a student full time. Sora still alive. Not sure how Judge would be like TBH, maybe just a normal standoffish dad, but otherwise okay.

I'm so sorry Law, but the meme of him being a Germa nerd is too funny.

[artbyblastweave]

As a big superhero guy, I have a question: Why do you think it's so common to show Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Hank Pym, Hank McCoy (ESPESCIALLY those last two) as, at best, morally ambiguous and at worst, downright awful in modern portrayals? Is it standard American anti-intellectualism, tied into our growing distrust of science and technology, or is it just that they seem kinda bland?

I don't think it's anti-intellectualism per se. For three of the four I think it's just a consequence of contemporary writers being Allowed To Notice And Unpack Things.

For Reed Richards, it's the result of fans and writers applying a level of scrutiny to early plots and character beats that weren't intended to stand up to any real level of scrutiny. He's a guy who got all his best friends horribly mutated by taking them up in an untested spacecraft. He's a guy who brainwashed a bunch of captured skrulls into thinking they were cows. He's a guy who keeps whipping up extremely specific technological solutions to the problem at hand, which never seem to trickle down to the consumer market- hence the "Reed Richards is Useless" trope. And he's gotta dodge and weave around patriarchal accusations vis a vis a lot of the casual sexism of early FF, where Sue had limited combat utility and was often in the mix as the Damsel-in-distress classic. And obviously excising the unconsidered sexism from the dynamic is the right way to go, but treating that early recklessness/ruthlessness/callousness seriously, as an actual personality flaw that he has, and has to work around, is significantly more interesting than just rewriting the character to not behave like that.

For Iron Man it's the result of people starting to take more seriously the moral implications of the fact that he's an arms dealer and a billionaire. (Apocryphally, Stan Lee did this to see if he could create a character who would be popular with his left-leaning audience despite being everything they hate ideologically, but I take this with a grain of salt.) Another element, I think, is that in preparation for the release of Iron Man, Marvel made him a headliner in Civil War in 2007; the nature of Civil War lent itself to him doing a lot of authoritarian bullshit, and said bullshit sort of set the bar for his capacity for extreme behavior when pressed. Put Iron Man in any situation, try to determine the extent he'll go to in order to resolve it, and you have to take into account that time he was sticking his colleagues in virtual-reality prisons on behalf of the government. A demonstrated willingness to do atrocities for what you think of as the greater good does add some flavor and tension, I have to give them that!

For Hank Pym, it's totally down to the midlife crisis arc from 1981, where he rebranded as Yellowjacket, got drummed out of the Avengers for using excessive force, and battered his wife Janet when she tried to. You know. Talk him out of building a robot to perform a false flag attack against the rest of the team to get back in their good graces. The whole arc was supposed to be a very deliberate tragedy about his mental breakdown but it kind of poisoned the well on the character and became the thing future writers endlessly relitigate, either doubling down on it (The Ultimates, Marvel Zombies) or trying to repudiate it (Mighty Avengers, Avengers Academy.) Even before that, though, he had a pointed loose-cannon mad scientist situation going on even in comparison to the others on this list- his debut was a Twighlight zone-style horror story where he nearly gets himself killed testing the shrinking formula, and he also created Ultron and nearly got everyone killed that way!

I have no idea what's going on with Hank McCoy. I don't think I want to know what's going on with Hank McCoy. Every time I turn my ear in the direction of that corner of the fandom these days, all I hear is screaming. Are you guys alright

[wolfscarr]

Asmodean Crystals’ mere existence is the issue.

https://www.tumblr.com/wolfscarr/713871219805601793/helluva-boss-the-grimoire-useless-pointless?source=share

^ To see how the Grimoire is now really just a big PAPERWEIGHT and making Stolas a useless character as a result.

https://www.tumblr.com/wolfscarr/749044157770825728/helluva-broken-narrative-and-the-most-useless?source=share

^ The Broken Narrative.

Just a small bit here, but I’ve see some try to give an explanation as to why Blitz doesn’t just have an Asmodean Crystal and instead went with the Grimoire. The thing is, even if one of these explanations are true, it doesn’t fix anything. The mere existence of these crystals is the issue. Let’s look here for a moment.

1. “The Crystals are tied to whoever is using them.”

All in all this is a reasonable explanation, hence why Blitz didn’t just mug the incubus for his and forced him to open the portal in the latest episode. But if that’s the case, it just raises further questions. Like why doesn’t Blitz just hire someone with a crystal and do it that way? Let’s be real for a minute folks, you replace Loona as the receptionist with some just random Hellborn with a crystal and what changes other than Loona not being a receptionist?(Just make her part of the Assassin team) Nothing, because we don’t really see her do her job, in fact you can literally just make an offhand comment about this because they hardly ever show I.M.P going through portals anyway in the episode, except for a few times, but you never explicitly need to show what actually opens said portal or who opens it.

Or why can’t Blitz just hire someone to get a crystal for him and deliver it? Because apparently Stolas is going to Asmodeus for one, even though I don’t see why Asmodeus would want to give him one in the first place, considering he has his own means to get to Earth.

So then if it only ties to the User who first uses said Crystal, then all Blitz has to do is get someone who knows how to get one and boom. 

Also it’s logical for these random crystals to be tied to a user, but not an all powerful grimoire that anyone can use? Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but ok.

2. “The Crystals are hard to get.”

Are they really though? Consider for a moment that random back alley incubus had a Crystal and I doubt this person is anyone of importance to actually need one....this suggests that they wouldn’t be hard to obtain. Now for Blitz? It might be considering Fizzarolli, who more than likely told Asmodeus about what happened between them and thus, he wouldn’t get one. (Which also questions, why again would Asmodeus give Stolas one, given Stolas is seeing Blitz.)

But this just goes back to the 1st point, why Blitz can’t just hire someone or have someone get one for him? 

Also Barbie Wire, an imp out of rehab has one. Now sure you could say that perhaps she has a better relationship with Fizzarolli(considering all 3 of them grew up in the circus). But between 3 imps(Blitz, Moxxie n Millie) and a hellhound(Loona), they wouldn’t be able to figure out a way to get one in some form or fashion?

Even moreso folks, wouldn’t it be more interesting to see the first couple of Episodes of S1, in HOW I.M.P got the ball rolling? You could make these first few episodes in showing how these lowly imps and a hellhound, get access to this Crystal that enables them to run a successful company. This also would help with establishing worldbuilding and so forth. But no, instead it’s just....a sex deal.

Edit: Oh and lookiee here, at the end of the episode of Oops, Fizz says that Blitz has “earned a crystal” thanks to reconnecting/saving his life. Sure....yeah, so guess it’s not so hard if all Blitz had to do was reconnect with Fizzarolli. Stolas is a literally pointless character, if all Blitz had to do was reconnect with Fizz...which makes for a far better narrative!

Edit: Another thing, why is Stolas being the one to give Blitz the Crystal? Can’t Fizz or Ozzie just...you know, mail it to I.M.P.? Call up Blitz for it since they have his phone number? Or they can just send one of Ozzie’s servants to I.M.P, or Moxxie or Millie or Loona goes and gets it? Stolas is a useless character at this point, only being shoehorned in to do stuff, but he’s not needed for.

Conclusion

So you see the issue here. There isn’t any real explanation(not just these ones either, I just chose 2 randomly) to just allow these Crystals mere presence to NOT affect the story. The mere existence of them at all, is the issue here, especially when you could write something better as far as both worldbuilding and character building this way.

[tsukimefuku]

Right, wrong and the in-between (Part 3)

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You and Higuruma were assigned to investigate the disappearance of women around Shinjuku. This led to a dicey situation regarding what place Jujutsu sorcerers occupy in this world and what is their role to play when non-sorcerers get involved.

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". There is currently a sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a fic I'll eventually write (eventually). To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :)  The "Right, wrong and the in-between" will be a 4 (maybe 3) part short-story set in this AU. I hope you enjoy! The tags below will be applicable to every chapter.

Tags: oc/f!reader, soft/implied Higuruma x reader, soft/implied Nanami x reader, slow burn, mentions of violence and non-con/abuse among side characters, canon typical violence, some angst, some fluff, just characters being themselves driving the plot (and me) insane. Some philosophical debate will be in place.

WC: 2.7k

NECESSARY DISCLAIMER: This chapter is DARK and involves depictions of death and hints of s*x*al abuse. If you do not wish to read this part, you can jump to the "+++" sign below and read from there.

"Here you go, princess!" Toshio said, throwing you inside a very dark room. You had both of your hands tied to your back, and your feet were tied together as well. This room was right beside the interrogation office they had you in moments earlier, and you suspected this was in one of the buildings internally connected to the club. "Behave, or I'll fuck you up, got it?" He warned, right before slamming the door, and yelling for Yukiko. You figured that was the woman's name.

Propping yourself to seat upwards, you scanned around the room, as you could barely make out anything, but the stench was even worse inside this place than it was previously. There seemed to be some mattresses spread across the floor, and that was when you saw them — the kidnapped women laying over the mattresses.

According to Jujutsu Tech's reports, there had been 5 women kidnapped (6 if you counted the one you and Higuruma saw), but you could only make out 3 that were actually laying on their beds, and from what you could tell, they were covered solely with a paper thin white blanket. They seemed to be drugged, since none of them reacted when you were thrown inside the confined space. As you were searching for the remaining three women, it suddenly struck you, sending ice-cold shivers down your spine. Oh, no.

The smell. 

You fought back the urge you had to throw up, as you saw a mass that could amount to three bodies, all stacked together, barely covered by a black tarp. "Oh my God!" You exclaimed. This was bad, very bad, and you had to get out of there as soon as possible. Shit, shit! Fuck! It was everything you could think at this very moment.

+++++++++++++++

"H-Hey." A tiny voice muttered from one of the mattresses on the floor. You looked its way, and it was the girl you and Higuruma had seen earlier that day. She still had her clothes on, maybe because they didn't have the time yet to do anything to her. The woman crawled her way to you, with some difficulty, and tried to sit beside you, having to remain supported by her two arms on the front of her body.

"Hey." You answered. "What is your name?"

"It's... My name... I'm Kaoru." She was clearly still loopy.

"I'm here to save you girls." You answered. "But I'm going to need your help."

She was waning off slowly. 

"Hey!" You whispered strongly in her direction, eliciting a slight eye widening from her. "Kaoru, I'm going to need your help for untying myself."

"You untie yourself?" She asked, puzzled. "That hag, she told me to follow her, and then..." She sighed deeply. "What then?"

This was pointless, she was still completely useless. You started to look around and see if there was absolutely anything you could use in order to cut the ropes they had used to immobilize you, but apart from the darkness, there didn't seem to be anything helpful inside that bedroom. You had to use your technique, it was the only way, but you were afraid — and rightfully so — of making too much noise with a tiny grenade and bestow upon these women and yourself the wrath of the duo. 

"Shit. What the fuck can I do?" You muttered to yourself. You finally had the idea to lay over your arms, right on top of one of the mattresses, and just pray it would be silent enough not to garner any unwanted attention.

Taking a deep breath, you laid yourself on your back and slowly pushed yourself through the ground, using your tied up legs and elbows, towards a mattress. Then, you managed to squiggle your way on top of it, and held your breath as you summed the tiniest grenade you could, just to rupture the rope keeping your hands together.

It was a little louder than expected. You heard footsteps in the room's direction and the door bust open, revealing Toshio's worked up face. "What the fuck are you doing?" 

"I was trying to lay on the mattress and I fell." You said, as it was the first thing to pop into your mind.

He walked towards you and slapped you viciously across your face, managing to somehow hit your ear as well, leaving you to see stars and temporarily deaf on that side, as a ringing echoed all throughout your skull. "Be quiet, or I'll do a lot worse, princess." He said, puling on your shirt disgustingly. You mustered all your strength to not spit in his face as he got up and made his way out, slamming the door loudly yet again. You were relieved, though, for your plan had worked, and you managed to liberate your arms from the cords contraption the hag had conceived.

Now, prioritize. Cursed speech user, so I have to- you started looking for anything you could use to stuff inside your ear. One of the mattresses had some holes with foam bursting through the seams. You quickly grabbed two fairly sized balls of that white plush and jammed them inside your ears, before doing absolutely anything else. Now sensory deprived, you swiftly started looking for the end of the knot where your legs were tied, and it was a pretty difficult task that took at least 10 minutes to complete. 

You got up, grabbed Kaoru and laid her on the mattress. "I'll be back for you, okay?"

She nodded as she dozed off. 

You then went to at least check on the other women, and it was as you thought. They were covered in bruises, bites, cuts and scratches, completely unclothed under the sheets and doped beyond anything you could do to help all of them currently. You inhaled deeply, and absolute rage took over your body.

***

Nanami and Higuruma were making their way around the block, walking silently beside each other, and the tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife. It was already dark, and the streets were incredibly crowded with gamblers, drunk people and those looking for something else in the red-light district. However, no one dared to approach them offering any kind of service — probably because of Nanami's energy of fury, which was simmering just under a nonchalant expression.

"So, cursed speech technique. It really doesn't work if you can't hear what is being said?" Higuruma asked.

"Yes, it doesn't. When we arrive, insert the cotton balls inside your ears as deep as you’re able to, in order to properly isolate noise." Nanami replied.

They went to the rendezvous ahead of schedule. Since these people were clearly idiots and had no idea what they were doing, there was a pretty great chance that they provided the address to their current location as the place to hold this meet up. Nanami and Higuruma's thinking soon would prove to be very right.

Both men, when they got to the address, found themselves in front of a simple wooden door with two sets of locks. Higuruma started looking around for another way inside. 

"What are you… currently engaged in?" Nanami questioned him.

"This door is clearly locked. I'm looking for another way inside the building." Higuruma explained.

Nanami sighed, promptly grabbing his blunt blade and completely destroying both of the locks on the door with one single hit, pushing the door inside. "Our path is clear now. Follow me." He said, stepping inside the narrow corridor. Some people stared and them, and Higuruma took note of that.

"Discreet." Higuruma stated.

Nanami stopped in his tracks, not turning to face Higuruma as he spoke, forming a wall between the former lawyer and the rest of the way. "I strongly suggest you keep that attitude in check for the time being. Someone is in harm’s way, and it is your responsibility, yet another time."

Higuruma scoffed, knowing all too well that explaining anything right then would be a complete waste of their time, as both made their way up the stairs.

Then, Nanami and Higuruma fit the cotton balls inside their ears.

***

Suddenly, there was a loud noise of something breaking outside, and you heard Nanami's voice calling for you. That was your queue.

You opened the door, already bearing one grenade inside your palm, the one with the corrosive element within. Toshio tried to body slam Higuruma, and was gaveled away across the hallway, landing right beside the door to the women's cubicle.

The woman came running and screaming something you couldn't make out thanks to the foam you stacked inside your ears, and you jumped in her direction, choking her from behind and shoving your corrosive grenade inside her mouth, letting it explode —  the explosion was minimal, just to liberate the substance inside her mouth. Yukiko grabbed her neck with both her hands, falling to the ground, seemingly choking. Sighing, you kneeled beside her and RCT'd her throat, just so she wouldn't die, but the sigil in her tongue was destroyed, and so was her ability to manipulate any of you with cursed speech. 

You got up and walked back to the door, opening it, seeing Toshio laid on the ground completely unconscious. You kicked the guy, and while kicking him, didn't derive half as much satisfaction as you hoped to. Kaoru had managed to drag herself near the door, and you looked at her, laying beside that man. Your stomach turned unpleasantly.

Nanami and Higuruma started to make their way to meet you, but you signaled for them to stop.

"Don't come. There are women in here, the victims. They're... Just- don't come near. Let's preserve whatever dignity they still have left after this pigdid what he did to them." You kicked him again, this time in the stomach, and the man jolted awake in a world of pain. "Good. I hope you feel it and I hope it hurts."

You walked across the hallway and looked at Nanami and Higuruma. They both seemed slightly surprised as they took a closer look at you, and it was puzzling — was your face...? There was a small dirty mirror hanging near you, and then you saw. Nearly half of your face was covered in bruising, and there was no pain probably due to adrenalin.

Unexpectedly, you heard quick footsteps making their way towards the exit, and you three realized at the same time it was Toshio. Faster than you could think, you conjured and threw a grenade right above the door, letting all the rocks come tumbling down and blocking the way out. The man was terrified, but one of the rocks hit him in the head, rendering him unconscious yet again.

You felt numb, abused, invaded and infuriated like you had never before in your entire life. You conjured up a massive grenade in your hand and started to walk towards Toshio, blinded with murderous intent.

Nanami saw you conjuring it and promptly grabbed your arm, pulling you back. "What do you intend to do?" He questioned you. His grip was firm, but wasn't hurtful at all. He was completely in control, especially now that the crisis was averted, as it was to be expected of Nanami.

You looked back at him with the emptiest eyes you had ever showed up until this point. "What does it look like? I'm going to kill him."

"No, you are not." Nanami replied.

"Nanami, let go of my arm. I mean it." You growled, turning to face him.

"Unfortunately, I cannot oblige to such a request. We're not murderers, and we certainly do not take the lives of non-sorcerers. That is not what we came here to do."

"Are you really going to protect a rapist murderer piece of shit because he's a non-sorcerer? Seriously?" You were hanging for dear life to every little piece of respect, admiration, and affection you had for Nanami in order to not yell at him that moment. "Those women in there are mutilated!"

"You seem to be mistaken. I'm not protecting this man," Nanami said, gravely, "I'm protecting you."

You scoffed, completely incredulous.

"It won't make a difference." Higuruma interjected. "These charges alone — rape, aggravated assault, multiple murders and possibly even sex trafficking — would probably elicit a death penalty for this man. The evidence against him is abundant."

Nanami sighed. "Your input is unnecessary and unsolicited." Nanami made absolutely no effort to hide his distaste for Higuruma at that moment, and the former lawyer noticed it, simply scoffing in response.

"So you think the existence of a Court to prosecute this man is unnecessary?" Nanami questioned.

"Oh, I don't think that. I know it." Higuruma retorted. "He'll surely be prosecuted and convicted, sentenced to capital punishment for his crimes regardless of his defense. It's just a matter of deciding how and when he dies."

"We are jujutsu sorcerers, not judges, nor executioners." Nanami answered sternly.

"I beg to differ." Higuruma replied. "When we kill curse users, we're executioners, whether you like it or not."

"We only kill at sight already sentenced individuals, and in extremely specific scenarios, unless we're acting in self-defense." Nanami pointed out. "And it's beyond our scope dealing with regular citizens. We're jujutsu sorcerers, remember that."

"Nanami, you keep saying that like it has some inherent meaning!" You said, angrily. "What does that mean to you?"

He sighed, turning his gaze to you. "It means our role is not to choose what happens to non-sorcerers that get themselves involved with these situations. We have our role, and the judiciary system as well as other systems in place have theirs."

You grunted, and angrily pulled your arm from his grip. "Fine. I don't think I'm suited for this jujutsu sorcery bullshit, then."

"Do you intend on becoming a vigilante curse user?" He asked, standing between you and Toshio's unconscious body on the ground. His gaze was razor-sharp, and he clearly demanded an answer from you.

"No. I-" You were coming back to yourself, and diverted from his locked gaze on you to stare at the innocent woman who was drugged up by the door. "I just can't look away and do nothing because things that go beyond killing curses and fighting curse users are outside of my role." You walked towards Kaoru, kneeled beside her, and started to RCT her back to consciousness. "I'm not that kind of person, nor will I ever be."

Higuruma and Nanami were standing silently, for none of them had an answer to what you had just said.

"I will not ignore the people that get harmed along the way, and I will not cease to try helping the people I can outside from exorcizing curses and stopping curse users."

"You can't save every person in need of aid." Nanami pointed out, matter-of-factly.

"I didn't say I intend to, I'm not a naive child nor do I have some savior complex. But I'll help those I can and try to mitigate the ugly consequences stemming from our job. Otherwise, being here and working for Jujutsu High would just mean I'm wasting my time. I want a new Jujutsu world-" you remembered your conversation with Gojo, months prior, as you heard his words spill out of your mouth, "and I can't do that if I just stick to my designated role. I can and will do more than that."

He sighed, and Higuruma was attentively watching the both of you. Higuruma was right about you, after all. You were definitely not a cynical person. And he felt, as he heard you speak, that neither was he.

"If you got any problem with that, Nanami, take it up with whomever you need to." You said, ending the discussion.

Nanami sighed as he crossed his arms and relaxed his shoulders. "I won't file any complaint of the sort." He pondered for a moment, and grabbed his phone. "I'll call an ambulance and the police right now. We should leave before they arrive." 

"Hm...?" You heard Kaoru humming softly as she started to wake up.

"Hey." You said, looking at her. "You're safe now."

Tears started streaming down her face, as she held your hand that laid on her chest. "Thank you."

Next chapter will be the epilogue. There will be a lot of dialogue and interesting stances on the JJK world from our trio.

[totallybakedcake]

hello :) (if you recived another message sorry I don't know if I sent it bc my phone doesn't work) as I asked before like could you do a Aoi x Haruichi fanfict? also I'd like to read something that focuses also on Haruichi's family issue because I'm really struggling to think about something and I'd like to know other people's thoughts :)

Woo hoo my first character x character fic!! Really I do like to ship many characters together but don't have any motivation to write. I had fun trying to make a backstory so thanks:D

The joy of silence

There were no cute fanarts on them on google so settling with this one ig

Haruichi was just in his apartment, gazing at the mellow sunset while lost in thought. He had for the past four hours been opening his phone every five minutes, which even made the vice captain and instructors concerned, so he had to stop.

He didn't tell anyone; he wasn't bold enough to tell them that it was his father's birthday, and he had tried to call him multiple times, text him plenty of times, and even send him some gifts, but in response, he got dead silence.

He felt so annoyed and nervous at the beginning of the day that he worked way harder than usual, and now everything would hurt if he even moved an inch.

"I am hungry." He thought to make dinner, but during cooking, most probably his body would give out, so he diverted his mind and would think about that later.

This is the first time he felt so useless that he might cry from it, but what could even help him cheer up? Just then

The doorbell rang.

Usually at this hour, nobody came to visit him, though Haruichi did think of a certain someone when he needed to talk.

"Aoi?" Ah, yes, it was Aoi. He didn't outright say it, but he was glad that he had come to visit him.

"Talk." Kaguragi simply said that and settled on the couch. He damn well knew that Haruichi was very upset and wanted to confront him in private.

"Caught me, huh? Well,  what can I expect from you?" Haruichi didn't even hide the fact and just sat down beside him, offering him some ramen before digging into his.

He took deep breaths to calm down as he spoke. "I had a little brother; he was younger by 4 years. We played for hours and hours every day. Each day our parents would come home with gifts. He always wanted some sort of building set that helped him build weapon toys. He was going to be the one to inherit the Izumo family business. While I was 18 and he was 14, a kaiju attacked our home. He died; mom got an illness and died soon later. I was the one left that dad would leave the business to. My destiny was to become a defense force officer or maybe a captain someday, so I refused, and we argued day and night after that. Dad quit trying to convince me but also stopped talking to me as we both cut ties. Today is his birthday. I did countless things to reach out, but he just wouldn't reply."

The room felt silent as none of them dared to say anything else. Haruichi was and is still hiding his pain deep down, but the tears might start to fall and not stop.

Aoi pulled him in an awkward hug. He had never hugged anyone, but it was a great way to comfort a sad person. "At least you have us; I am sure in the future your father will forgive you; give him some time."

To say he was shocked is an understatement. Haruichi wrapped his arms around Aoi. He closed his eyes, muttering thanks over and over as he got comfortable in the warm embrace that was like a balm to his sore muscles.

It was a quiet moment where no words needed to be exchanged; just the relaxing touch was enough. They were enjoying each other's company.

Falling asleep with Kaguragi felt like heaven, but there was no way in hell that Haruichi was ever going to admit that.

"Oh Kaguragi, I love you," he thought to himself before joining in on the slumber.