#what if Regulus and Sirius stayed close

[everkait]

regulus arcturus black headcanons heavily featuring sirius black (obviously)

this is kinda a lot and also all over the place but i really had to get it out, so here we go. feel free to disagree and all that but please keep it polite. edit from after i finished it all: this is kinda more like a summary of what i imagine his entire life to have been like than a few headcanons but who cares. have fun reading. also, english is not my native language so i’m sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes you may find.

when they were kids, sirius and regulus were really close. like, stupidly close. reg idolized sirius and sirius wanted to protect his little brother at all costs. they were each other’s favourite person and were always together. they had an age gap of roughly one and a half years, with sirius being born early november ’59 and regulus being born in late may ’61. while they were close as children, it was also obvious that they were completely different people. sirius was extroverted, loud, rebellious, self-confident, loved attention and would always speak up if something wasn’t to his liking, he didn’t mince his words. regulus on the other hand was more the quiet, reserved type; he was introverted, almost but not quite shy, unwilling to step out of his comfort zone, had a fear of disappointing other people and shied away from confrontations. he wasn’t self-conscious but he also wasn’t as self-confident as sirius was. both of them however, could be quite vicious and cruel with their words if they wanted to be. that was something they learned from both their mother and their cousin bellatrix.

regarding their relationships with their family, while i do think that walburga and orion black were abusive, i’m not entirely certain how severe that abuse actually was. definitely not as abusive as some people make it out to be, like regularly using the cruciatus curse on the kids or something like this, but some kind of abuse was there. i also think that the black parents definitely preferred sirius to regulus. sirius was the older one, the clever and self-confident child, the perfect heir to the black family. regulus knew of this but it didn’t really matter to him because he wasn’t interested in being heir in the first place. oftentimes people make narcissa regulus’ favourite cousin but i think in the early days it was bellatrix, who he liked most. he didn’t really get along that well with narcissa and andromeda because they both kinda saw him as a little kid who wasn’t worth their attention. bella on the other hand never treated him as anything lesser because of his age which is why he liked her best. but another crucial point and reason why reg adored bella was the simple fact that she was a lot like sirius. and seeing as sirius was always regulus’ favourite, he felt most comfortable with bellatrix because she was so much like sirius.

and then came hogwarts. when sirius went to hogwarts he would write a lot of letters to reg but they gradually became less and less over the course of the year. one name that was very frequent in all of the letters reg received from his brother was james potter. sirius talked a lot about james potter. so much so that regulus started to get annoyed by it. this only got worse by the time sirius came back for the holidays because the only thing he would talk about was his best friend james, james this and james that. regulus loathed james potter before he had ever met him.

the sorting however, is kinda complicated. let’s talk about sirius first. while walburga and orion were obviously outraged at his sorting i think, behind closed doors and never ever to his face, walburga was actually sorta proud of sirius for doing something no one in their family had ever done before. she saw it as him, a black, quote-unquote ‘conquering’ the gryffindor house. but she was still very much against it because it wasn’t slytherin and so those two sides were constantly warring with each other. she, however, made it very clear to regulus that there was no way he was going to be sorted anywhere but slytherin, she would let one non-slytherin kid slide, but there was hell to pay for him if he wasn’t sorted according to her wishes. i think with sirius, gryffindor was definitely his true house but i read a fic once where his true house was actually slytherin but he made the hat sort him into gryffindor as an act of rebellion. i immensely enjoy this idea but in the end i decided against incorporating it in my own headcanon because i think sirius fits better with gryffindor than slytherin. i still think he could’ve made slytherin work if he wanted to, but gryffindor was where he belonged. now, regulus’ sorting. his sorting is less complicated i think. for him there was never really a question to begin with. he always knew he was going to go to slytherin. simply because that was the way to go to not disappoint his parents and disappointing his parents wasn’t something he could take. i like the idea of a ravenclaw regulus so i think the hat would’ve wanted him there but regulus was enough of a slytherin so that the hat sent him there without needing much convincing.

the sorting is also what kinda caused their relationship to rapidly deteriorate. cracks had already started to form during the one year sirius spent alone at hogwarts but after regulus got sorted is when it really fell apart. i think regulus himself didn’t have that much of a problem with sirius being sorted into gryffindor. he may not have liked it, but it didn’t make sirius any less of a pure-blood, less of a black. so when sirius was so incredibly disappointed with regulus’ own sorting he didn’t understand it and felt betrayed by his brother. it didn’t help that james was always around and regulus refused to have anything to do with him at all so their relationship slowly got worse until they eventually just stopped talking. of course, it wasn’t just the sorting and all that, it was also regulus’ views on muggle-born’s and the dark lord, which were more aligned with their parents’ views than sirius’ own. which is something sirius couldn’t accept but since regulus was unwilling to change his mind, their interactions became less and less. this is also when he got close to narcissa. cissy is born in ’55 which makes her six years older than reg. which means, depending on when she was born, she was either in sixth or seventh year when regulus started hogwarts. since she was his only cousin still at hogwarts and since sirius was a gryffindor, she took him under her wing and the two sort of became friends. she was a lot like him, also being quiet and reserved and not liking conflict, so he liked spending time with her. i don’t think he had a lot of friends, i think of him more as a loner. there are barty crouch jr. and evan rosier who people often hc as his friends and while i certainly think that’s possible, i still think he didn’t really hang out with a lot of people. he spent most of his time in the library because he really enjoyed magic and all the things there were to learn about it.

snape is also something i’d like to talk about real quick. i’ve seen different opinions on his relationship with reg everywhere on the internet but i personally think their relationship was one of mutual disinterest, bordering on dislike on snape’s side. i think there is no way for snape to actually somewhat like reg. look at how much he loathed harry for being james’ son. he’d hate reg on principle for being sirius’ brother. so no, they weren’t friends. the lupin thing comes next. i’ve read a fic once where everyone in slytherin knew remus was a werewolf which i thought was a bit farfetched. i like the idea of reg knowing about it and i think a case can be made for it. even though reg liked to pretend otherwise, he did care about sirius so he would oftentimes scrutinise the things the marauders did and so he would eventually find out about remus being a werewolf. it didn’t really endear remus to him, but nothing could trump his dislike of james. the pranks the marauders pulled also didn’t help with his opinion on them. and even though he hated their behaviour he could never quite manage to completely hate sirius because sirius was still his brother. so he started to blame james instead and held him accountable for everything that, in regulus’ opinion, went wrong with sirius, because it was a lot easier to hate james than to hate his brother.

regulus’ grades were never bad, but they were also never as good as sirius’. everything came easy to sirius, while regulus had to work hard to get good grades. and as much as he might try, he was never as good as sirius, which greatly frustrated him. he started to feel inferior to sirius somewhere around his third or fourth year because it felt like it all just didn’t matter in his parents eyes, he could never be as good as sirius. even though sirius was a gryffindor and rude and rebellious and not the heir his parents wanted. and because he and sirius weren’t close anymore, his parents and their opinion was the only thing he had left. one of the only things that he had and where he genuinely felt it was his own, was quidditch. a lot of people make sirius into a quidditch player as well, mostly a beater, but i think he didn’t play. quidditch was always regulus’ thing and he started to play as a seeker for the slytherin team somewhere between his third and fourth year.

now sirius’ fifth year and regulus’ forth year, the school year of 1975-1976 begins. a lot of stuff happened in that year for sirius, but regulus was less affected. first comes the prank. and while i really want regulus to know about it, purely for the angst and disappointment, i just don’t see a way for him to actually know. (to explain why i want him to know, while reg doesn’t like sirius’ friends it is obvious that sirius cares about them, and since reg hasn’t completely managed to get rid of his idolization of his brother from their childhood, even though he usually ignores it until it goes away, it would devastate him to find out that sirius would betray his friend like that.) as i said, i just don’t think it’s feasible for him to know. like, i want him to. but how? it’s not like snape is gonna tell him. and i don’t think sirius, remus or james are so keen on telling him about it either. so how would he know? there is no way for him to know and as much as i want otherwise, this is how it’s gotta be. he doesn’t know and he never finds out about it. the next major thing that happens is snape’s worst memory at the end of the school year. and for that, regulus simply wasn’t present. he was at the library and heard about it later and since he isn’t close with snape i don’t see him having such a big problem about it.

during the summer between regulus’ fourth and fifth year is when it gets juicy. this is the summer when sirius runs away to the potters. i’ve thought a lot about this and how i wanted to do it. i like the dramatic route where regulus basically makes sirius go without him because he knows that sirius is absolutely miserable here at home. but i just don’t really think that fits. i went with what i think could be the most realistic route according to what we know from canon, sprinkled in is of course some self-indulgence because i couldn’t help myself. sue me, i don’t care. so, it’s summer, everything is as it always is. sirius has some kind of argument with walburga and it gets very heated. when he leaves and goes upstairs he vents about his mum and how horrible everything is. he happens upon regulus who’s currently on the way back to his room and overhears him vent. regulus, who in this moment really cannot stand his brother, maybe they also had an argument beforehand, maybe something else happened or maybe it was just suddenly too much for him, kinda explodes. he gets really angry at sirius and tells him something along the lines of ‘if it’s really this awful, why don’t you just fucking leave?’, and sirius stands there, dumbstruck, while regulus goes back to his room. and sirius thinks, why don’t i? and he just can’t seem to get rid of the idea to leave and he doesn’t feel like there is anything left for him there, so eventually he packs his bags and leaves. and just like that, he is gone.

this is obviously not what regulus intended when he said that to him and now he doesn’t know how to feel. part of him thinks good riddance, another, smaller part, the one that knows that sirius despised their home, hopes that his brother is happier now and is glad that he is gone, but the largest part of him feels betrayed. he feels betrayed because sirius just left, because even though they haven’t been getting along these past few years, that doesn’t change the fact that they are brothers and that has to mean something, right? right? he also feels betrayed, because sirius didn’t even talk to him, he didn’t say goodbye and he didn’t ask regulus if he wanted to come with him. regulus knows he probably wouldn’t have wanted to come but he would’ve appreciated it if his brother had at least given him a choice. because he doesn’t want to deal with these thoughts and feelings he mostly represses them and refuses to think about them. (okay, so in case you hadn’t noticed, the self-indulgent part is when i make reg be the one to give sirius the idea to run away because just imagine him having to realise that sirius ran away because he basically told him to. imagine the pain and guilt and betrayal that it’s going to make him feel. such joy. am i evil? no, i just love to hurt my favourite characters a little. hurt/no comfort at its finest. and really, canon sirius & regulus are a fucking gold mine for hurt/no comfort. i just really have a thing for complex sibling dynamics full of hurt, angst, betrayal and love. i’m not really into romantic ships all that much anymore and sirius & regulus are just like catnip to me. ah, i love them. but, i digress, back to the text.) then there is of course walburga and orion to talk about, because i don’t think they would’ve just let sirius go without a fight. they are a witch and wizard and sirius’ parents, there surely is a way for them to get him back, by force if necessary. so regulus goes and convinces them that it’s better to let sirius go. he would never agree with them and fight them every step of the way and regulus knows he isn’t their first choice but isn’t it better than trying and failing with sirius? eventually, they reluctantly agree but walburga threatens him to never ever step out of line. the whole sirius debacle has severely damaged their reputation with the other pure-blood families already and they cannot afford for it to get any worse than it already is.

then regulus’ fifth and sirius’ sixth school year starts. and sirius had somewhat of a change of heart during the rest of the summer and feels a bit guilty for not talking to regulus before he left. so now he wants to speak with him. but regulus doesn’t want to speak to sirius. he still feels betrayed but he also feels like sirius should be thankful to him because he convinced their parents to let sirius go and an even smaller part hopes that sirius is happy. but regulus bottles all that up and ignores it and when they eventually do speak to each other he is an ass. they have a big argument and nearly start cursing each other and at the end of the argument sirius says something along the lines of, ‘james is a better brother to me than you ever were’, and that deeply hurts regulus and sirius kinda immediately regrets it but he can’t take it back now that it’s out there and regulus leaves him standing there and from then on doesn’t allow them to ever talk again. a few days later james corners him because he thinks regulus said or did something since sirius has been really sad for a few days and reg basically tells him to, ‘fuck off, you already stole my brother from me, what more do you want?’, and that’s really the end of it. this is the only time james and regulus ever talk to each other and afterwards regulus hates james even more.

something else, that regulus is kinda proud of because his brother never managed it, is the fact that he makes prefect. there is only really one reason i made him a prefect though and that’s because i wanted him to have some kind of relationship, connection or whatever with lily. i wanted regulus black and lily evans to know each other and the most likely way for that to happen is for reg to be a prefect. lily is a prefect as well and they get assigned some patrols together. and at first he’s really against it because she’s like a muggle-born and all that and i know, i’ve mostly been avoiding all that until now but it really wasn’t relevant. because he simply never really interacted with other people a lot. he spends most of his time in the library and while he certainly has some blood supremacy views he’s kept them mostly to himself since he doesn’t really interact with other people outside of slytherin all that much. lily evans is kinda the first time he’s really been confronted with a muggle-born and while he doesn’t like her because of it he is also perfectly courteous towards her because he doesn’t see a point in being rude. he isn’t stupid and he knows she is a brilliant witch who’d probably be able to kick his ass, so he doesn’t really want to be on her bad side. over time however, he starts to get used to it and begins to actually somewhat enjoy their conversations because she’s witty and clever and he finds himself liking her to his utter horror. he develops a similar attitude towards her that snape had during most of their friendship (minus the crush), in that he still retains his blood supremacist views but starts to think that lily might be the exemption to the rule. other muggle-born magicals might be bad but she isn’t. he of course would never talk to her with other slytherins present but alone, just the two of them, they can have a nice polite conversation. and even though he doesn’t notice it really, talking to lily actually starts changing his perception of muggle-born’s a little bit. it’s not enough however, because at the same time talks about the dark lord become more frequent and he gets more and more fascinated.

regulus is now sixteen and summer holidays come around. he learns more about the dark lord and starts hanging up paper clippings in his bedroom. he’s really into the whole thing. when school starts again, he still occasionally goes on patrol with lily, but she and james are now together, which kinda sours his opinion of her since he still despises james. and then christmas holiday rolls around, and that is when he finally gets to join the dark lord and his cause. his once favourite cousin bella somehow caught wind of his admiration of the dark lord’s cause and pulled some strings which allow reg to join earlier than is common. he is still only sixteen which means the trace is applied to his wand, meaning he can’t really do much for the dark lord’s cause. he’s also still at school so he’s severely hampered in what he can do for the dark lord. regulus feels like he should be doing more but it’s not like he can change his age and make himself grow up faster. he eventually accepts his place and becomes responsible for spying at hogwarts to the best of his abilities and also starts researching things like obscure spells and rituals for the dark lord, who notices his passion for all things magic. he goes back to school and ends his non-friendship with lily, both in an effort to protect himself from the dark lord’s wrath and to protect her as well although he refuses to admit that to himself.

regulus may have joined the death eaters now, but he still hasn’t entirely grasped the reality of what it means to be one himself. that, however, changes, when he turns seventeen and, during the summer holidays, joins a raid. he witnesses his fellow death eaters kill, maim and torture with pleasure and it makes him sick. he manages to avoid most of the raids during the summer holidays by claiming to want to study to get the best grades possible to be of as much use to the dark lord as possible. the dark lord also prefers to have him research things for him, mostly in the extensive black library, which regulus has navigated since he was a child and which is protected from interference through people not of the black family. but regulus cannot avoid all raids and during one of them he accidentally kills a man when he burns his house down, thinking nobody was in the house any longer. this deeply traumatizes him and when he goes back to hogwarts for his seventh year he becomes very reclusive. he is still knee deep in denial though and tells himself he should get stronger and to learn to stomach all of the things that are happening. he buries himself in prefect duties and studying and all in all has a pretty miserable time. and like, this is it. he’s in his seventh year now. it’s 1978 and he’s gonna die in 1979. and i have this idea, which i really like, which is, that he dies on the day that lily and james tell sirius that they are expecting a child. like, nobody would ever know that that was the day he died but it’s really tragic in my opinion. so, yeah. but we’re not there just yet.

and then the christmas holidays happen. and that’s it, the beginning of the end. for regulus. i feel like there definitely would be a lot of research involved for reg to find out about the horcrux because i don’t think voldy would have told kreacher everything about it. and i haven’t talked about kreacher at all yet, i know, so here we are. after sirius left, aside from his parents, kreacher was the only one reg had left so i feel he got even more attached to him. when they were kids, walburga would usually take care of sirius because he was the heir, while she left reg in kreacher’s care, which is why they became so close. but still, their relationship was never an equal one, and as much as they may have loved each other, kreacher was still a servant to the black family who, above all, had to listen to walburga black. so, back to voldy and his horcruxes. when the dark lord asked for a house elf reg volunteered kreacher, because he didn’t really think anything would happen to him. yes, the dark lord was cruel to muggles and muggle-born’s but they deserved it, it wasn’t like kreacher had ever done anything except serve. but then, when kreacher, on regulus’ orders, finally returned, regulus had to realise that the dark lord didn’t care at all. it was this, an attack on his beloved elf, what finally opened regulus’ eyes. he had told himself that it was alright and that it was okay and that it was right, but he could no longer believe in it. regulus had witnessed the dark lord torture some of his own followers and had told himself they were just rightfully being punished but after seeing what had happened to kreacher he couldn’t deceive himself any longer. he thought about brilliant and kind lily evans and that it was all wrong. he thought about his brother who had been right all along. and he thought about kreacher who had never done anything wrong in his life. he, however, decided to give the dark lord one last chance to kinda quote-unquote ‘redeem’ himself, at least in regulus’ eyes. regulus’ last hope is, that whatever the dark lord did that left kreacher so injured, was important enough to make it right, although in his heart he knows that this is not the case.

so, after acquiring all possible information from kreacher, he spends the rest of the school year researching. he’s immensely overworked because at the same time he also has to study for his exams but somehow he manages it all. i don’t see him figuring the horcruxes out at hogwarts with only the hogwarts library at hand but i’m toying with the idea of having him find out the dark lord’s real identity. i kind of like that. once he’s back home after the exams he finally has a break through and figures out that what riddle hid was a horcrux. and i’m of the opinion, that the word horcrux isn’t entirely new to him. like, he’s part of the black family. they are as dark as they come. i’m sure he’s already heard about horcruxes before. and not even the blacks are mad enough to mess with soul magic. so yeah, regulus is not impressed with the dark lord. like, not at all. the idea of one horcrux is already ludicrous enough so i don’t know if he should be thinking that there could be more of them. but on the other hand, maybe he suspected there could potentially be more but since he had no idea where to even start looking for them and only knew the definite location of the one and didn’t see another way for this to go down and him surviving since there was no way in hell he would let kreacher die. and he also couldn’t ask anyone else because he wasn’t sure sirius would actually trust him since it had been like three years since they’d last talked and he also didn’t want to get his brother in danger.

anyway, after finally figuring out the horcrux during the summer, this leaves reggie shocked. he doesn’t know what to do. he kinda by now low-key wants the light side to win but he now realises that they can never win, because the dark lord made a freaking horcrux. he can’t be defeated. and regulus really wants to talk to sirius now because sirius is his big brother but there is no way this is happening. he just can’t. he’s scared that sirius doesn’t believe him but he is also scared that he does and he just doesn’t know what to do. the only thing regulus knows is that the horcrux needs to be destroyed. he thinks about running away. he’d kinda really like to run away. but then he has to think about sirius and about lily evans who are both fighting this war on the right side and he feels guilty. and he thinks about kreacher who was hurt by the dark lord’s actions. and so he makes a decision. he decides to retrieve the horcrux. he doesn’t really care about a lot of people but he feels guilty about the things he has done and so the decision to steal the horcrux is made because he wants to do something right and good for once, but he also does it for kreacher, for sirius and for lily evans. he wants revenge for kreacher and he wants sirius, and to a lesser degree lily, to live in a world free of the dark lord. and for that to happen the horcrux needs to be destroyed. so he makes his plan.

harry was born at the end of july ’80, meaning he was conceived late september ’79. i don’t really know when people tell their close friends that they are expecting a child? but since the war was going on and there were maybe missions i think it’s fair to say they might not have been able to tell him immediately. so they told their friends they were expecting a child in between late-november and early-december in my opinion. and the day they finally told sirius was also, coincidentally, the day regulus chose to go to the cave and willingly walked to his own death.

so, that’s it. okay, not quite. something else i wanted to say, i once read a really interesting tumblr post that proposed the idea that regulus didn’t actually die in that cave because voldy wouldn’t want to immediately kill whoever tried to steal his horcrux. he’d want to incapacitate them and eventually interrogate them and then kill them himself. so… reg might still be alive in something like a stasis charm down on the bottom of the lake, sleeping, waiting to be found. okay, now i’ve made myself sad.

something that didn’t really fit anywhere chronologically but is still a headcanon of mine and i wanted to mention it since it involves sirius and regulus. so, when lily married james her name changed from lily evans to lily potter. i like to think, that occasionally, sirius would still call her evans and it was his nickname for her. he also called her lily and lils more often than not but occasionally he’d call her evans. and if regulus were to ever accidentally meet her after she had gotten married, he’d also call her evans. he doesn’t even know his brother does it. regulus would just do it automatically because he’d refuse to call her potter since he kinda loathes james but he also somewhat likes lily but he also wouldn’t call her by her first name, so evans it is. and this would remind lily of sirius of course and she’d think it’s cute that they have this similarity. and also, when she gets together with james and starts to learn a bit more about sirius she’d notice a lot of similarities between him and reg. she kinda was somewhat non-friends with reg for a year after all. and it would make her sad.

okay, this is it. more than 5k words about regulus black. didn’t think i had it in me.

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

i finished “all the young dudes”. brb gonna drown myself in my tears

(spoilers in the tags)

[ellecdc]

About the onde bed trope… since there aren’t a lot of those, I was wondering if you could write one with reader and wolfstar? Maybe a smut or just something fluff

hi babes! so I got this request right after someone had asked for recommendations for one-bed tropes, which I had only ever read one and shared it. SO, I wanted to remind everyone of the cute wolfstar x reader one bed fic I read by @longlivedelusion, and know that while I'm happy to contribute to this super fun trope with our lovely wolfstar, that it was more than likely inspired by their awesome work linked above!

poly!wolfstar x Potter!reader who have to share a bed [2.8k words]

CW: mutual pining, feelings of 3rd wheeling, fluff, potter family

The hotel was bustling with what appeared to be just as many staff as there were patrons waiting in the lobby.

Bags were being whisked away, key cards were being handed to waiting hands, and nearly every second person was wearing a Manchester United jersey. 

James was positively giddy and practically vibrating with excitement, Lily and Regulus had their faces shoved into Lily’s phone as they (re)read the itinerary they had planned for James’ birthday trip, Remus arched his shoulders as he let his duffle fall to the ground and Sirius murmured promises of a back massage when they got to their room, and you people watched. 

Your parents had given James (and all of his friends) tickets to the Manchester home game and a few nights stay at a posh hotel close to the stadium.

Lily and Regulus, being James’ dutiful partners, planned other things for the lot of you to do while you were here, too.

Right now, however, you wanted nothing more than to get to your room, take a shower to wash the train off of your being, and go to sleep.

Mercifully the check in counter cleared and your group stepped up to the waiting concierge. 

“Hi there! We’re checking in for Potter; group of six.” Lily offered primly as she handed the man a copy of the booking number. 

“Right! Okay, so Potter, two rooms, each with a king, for three nights.” The man read from the screen, looking over in concern when six varied protests sounded from the group.

“No, I’m quite sure it’s meant to be three rooms.” Lily corrected quickly, offering you a worried glance before she nearly leaned over the welcome desk to peer at the computer monitor as if she was ready to take over for the concierge. 

The man hummed as he continued tapping keys and clicking his mouse and scrolling and please for the love of God don’t let there be a mix up.

It was going to be you that was the problem; not Lily and Regulus who were counting on a romantic trip to celebrate their boyfriend, and not Remus and Sirius with their long-established relationship and promises of Remus’ massage.

“The booking is only showing two rooms, uhm, let me just confirm with my manager that I’m not missing anything.” He bumbled awkwardly before standing and all but fleeing from the group of you. 

“It’s probably just a mistake.” James offered quickly as he jostled your shoulder. “With this many people here, the system is probably just lagging.”

But it wasn’t just a mistake and the system wasn’t just lagging and there was very much only two rooms booked under Potter.

“Is there any way we can book a third room? It can go on the same card.” You asked meekly, nervously glancing between the manager and the computer. 

“Unfortunately, the hotel is entirely booked.” She offered you with a pained smile, and just from your survey of the lobby while you’d been waiting in line, you knew that had to be true. 

“Do you have any cots we could have sent up to the rooms?” Lily asked hopefully, earning another grimace from the manager which was all the response you needed.

You could feel the group looking at you awkwardly and you immediately regretted even coming; you should have just left James to celebrate his birthday with his partners and best friends and stayed out of it, but instead, you were the troublesome younger sibling who your parents forced the group to bring along. Maybe you could catch a train back home? Maybe you could catch a train a town or two over and just have your own mini vacation and leave them to their celebrations.

“Don’t worry, bug!” James said as he rubbed your arm roughly before reaching over you to grab the keys to the two rooms from the concierge who was clearly now only waiting for the lot of you to bugger off so he could help the people behind you. “We’ll make this work.”

“You shouldn’t have to make it work, Jamie.” You moaned as your group moved to stand against a wall across the lobby as you all tried to problem solve this. 

“Both rooms have just one bed each, right? Do either of them have a sofa?” Regulus asked first.

“The pictures online didn’t look like it; the rooms had the bed, one grandfather chair, and a desk with a rolling desk chair.” Lily responded. 

“Okay, well, both rooms have king sized beds, we can share.” Sirius offered simply, causing you to nearly whimper.

“I’m not going to impose on anyone’s beds.” You murmured as you stared resolutely at your feet.

“You can share with me! It’ll be like the old days when we’d have a “sleepover” in the living room!” James offered excitedly, and you had to hand it to him for his sense of adventure and enthusiasm, but you couldn’t help but notice the quick glance Lily and Regulus shared.

“It’s your birthday weekend, Jamie, you should get to spend it with your partners.”

“Okayyyy, uhm, what about the girls room together and boys room together?” He offered instead, causing Lily to furrow her brows at him.

“But then two of us will be sharing while four of you will be sharing.” She countered, followed up quickly by Regulus who stated he would not, under any circumstances, be sharing a bed with his brother. 

“No, you’re right, erm, well… Me, Pads, and Moony could share-”

“James, I love you, but you’re terrible at this.” Sirius interrupted before turning his gaze to you. “You should just stay with me and Moons; leave these three to their…canoodling.” He said around a theatrical gag. 

“You guys were probably looking forward to a romantic stay too.” You muttered somewhat petulantly, and that was what nearly brought you to the brink of tears.

Not that you were the figurative sixth wheel, not that you were left without a room and imposing on two relationships, and not even that you felt particularly out of place.

No, the thing that nearly brought you to tears was the fact that you were acting so petulant on your brother's birthday which he had been so incredibly excited for.

You would not ruin this for him, for any of them. 

“No, you know what, sorry, you’re right, Sirius. I’ll pile the extra bedding they keep in the closets and make myself a little nest on the floor, it’ll be like camping!” You decided, pasting on the widest smile you could muster. 

You swore you saw Sirius’ face fall slightly but powered on when James was back to clapping his hands together excitedly. “Brilliant! This will be so fun, and so worth it, bug. Don’t you worry.”

And you were worried, but he didn’t need to know that. 

ʚ ═══·୨ ꕤ ୧·═══ ɞ

“You’re not actually going to sleep on the floor, right doll?” Sirius asked after the hotel door shut with a click behind him as he glanced around the room. 

It was perhaps a bit tight, but if you set up your little nest underneath the window, neither boy should trip over you in the middle of the night should they need to use the loo.

“Oh it’ll be fine.” You offered in what you hoped was convincing nonchalance. 

“I really think the bed is big enough, dove. And Sirius usually latches onto me in the night so you shouldn’t even notice we’re there.” Remus offered gently, watching as you flung the closet doors open to procure the extra bedding. 

“S’not my fault, moons.” Sirius countered as he trailed right on your heels to where you were trying to make your ‘nest’. “You keep the thermostat so sodding low, I’d simply freeze to death if you didn’t share your body heat.”

He ignored your indignant “oi!” as he immediately plucked your pillows and blankets off the floor from where you’d placed them and moved them to the end of the bed. “And, I think you do that on purpose; you like cuddling.” He continued, gently swatting at your hands as you tried to reclaim your makeshift bed. 

“Oh, I love cuddling.” Remus agreed readily, clearly ignoring the fact that you and Sirius were currently in a petty squabble over linens. “What I don’t like is being jolted awake to your ice cold feet being shoved under my thighs at three o'clock in the morning- dove.” He gave you a pointed look with one arched eyebrow as you huffed petulantly and crossed your arms. 

“You are not sleeping on the floor, doll. Your parents paid for the sodding rooms.” Sirius claimed resolutely. 

“They were meant to pay for three rooms so that you two would have some privacy.” You argued.

“You’re really the only one upset about this, babes.” He stated, face softening when you nervously pulled your lip between your teeth. “If you’re worried about space, I’ll take the floor.”

“I don’t want you to take the floor.”

“Then I’ll take-” Remus started, but was interrupted when both you and Sirius spat “you’re not sleeping on the floor, Remus” and “like fuck you’re sleeping on the floor, don’t be ridiculous”, respectively. 

“So those are your choices, sweetheart; I take the floor or we share the bed.” 

After this many years of knowing each other, you knew when Sirius was bluffing, and you knew when it was better to fold; with the no nonsense look that currently adorned his face, you knew that those were, indeed, your only options.

You looked over at the bed wearily; it really was quite large…and you could use your own blanket so that you weren’t encroaching on their space or stealing their blankets. 

The problem was that the bed wasn’t the only problem. It also was very much the fact that you were pretty well completely gone for two of your brothers best friends.

Two of your brothers best friends who were very much dating each other. 

Two of your brothers best friends who were dating each other that you were completely gone for and now forced to share a bed with them. 

Awesome. 

ʚ ═══·୨ ꕤ ୧·═══ ɞ

Sirius just about died when you stepped out of the bathroom with wet hair leaving damp patches on your sleep shirt and your legs on full display thanks to the matching shorts.

He just about died again when you caught him staring at you.

He nearly died a third time when Remus’ pointed clearing of his throat was what finally broke him from the trance you had on him; both he and Remus now red in the face while you looked to be fairing little better as you hid behind your wet hair and fussed with your toiletries instead of looking at either of them.

Sirius felt horribly pathetic - years of living with the Potter’s did absolutely nothing to dim the flame he held for you, nor did the physical space that living with Remus in their own flat for the past few years offered him.

The only thing that made his infatuation slightly less embarrassing was the fact that Remus held a similar flame for you, too. 

So while this was sort of everything he’d ever wanted - spending the night in a bed with two people he was absolutely crazy about - he was equally afraid of making you horribly uncomfortable. 

“Smooth.” Remus muttered as he came up behind Sirius only after you’d gone back into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Sirius wanted to turn and sneer at his boyfriend. “I know I am” danced on the tip of his tongue; his usual suave blaseness in all its glory rearing its head at the insinuation that Sirius was anything but a certified charmer.

But all that managed to leave Sirius’ lips was a breathy “fuck” as he stared decisively at the space you’d been standing previously.

But before Sirius could spend any (more) time spiralling or Remus could offer words of encouragement (or commiseration), you were tentatively sliding into what the three of you had agreed would be your side.

Your side. 

The sentiment made Sirius stomach dip; after all these years he was finally getting a taste of what he’d always wanted.

Yet it wasn’t enough.

The lights were off and Sirius’ back was pressed into Remus’ chest as they both watched the steady rise and fall of your shoulders as you slept. They’d both felt so tired on the train ride here, yet neither of them could bring themselves to close their eyes when the alternative was getting to see you rest in their bed.

“Is this really happening?” Remus whispered quietly then, causing Sirius to snuggle impossibly further into him.

“Feels like a dream.” Sirius whispered back; his hand itching to reach out and twirl a lock of your drying hair around his finger, to encourage you to roll over so that they could see your pretty face, to pull you into him and hold you close. 

Remus tightened his hold around Sirius and pushed his nose into his shoulder. “We should tell her; need to tell her… this weekend.” 

Sirius shook his head, but it wasn’t in disagreement. Rather, it was in exasperation.

“I can’t believe she can’t tell how crazy we are about her.” 

And Sirius nearly died a fourth time in one night when you seemingly shot up out of a dead sleep and spun to face them. 

“You’re what?” You asked; no hints of sleep in your tone (nor your wild eyes) as you stared at them incredulously. 

“Fuck.” Sirius repeated eloquently as he and Remus both sat up, the latter leaning over to turn on a lamp causing both you and Sirius to wince as your eyes adjusted.

“I thought you were asleep?” Sirius accused then, but you didn’t take the bait. 

“You’re…what about me?” You whispered carefully.

“Crazy.” Remus responded quickly; whether he was braver than Sirius or opting to rip the bandaid off, Sirius didn’t know. “We’re crazy about you.”

You made a breathy sound, almost as if you were going to ask “what” or “why” or “when” before the question died on your lips. 

Sirius stared at you in wait; he didn’t know whether you were about to cry, whether you were going to demand they let you build a ‘nest’ on the floor so you could escape them, or whether you were going to call your folks and ask them to pick you up.

So when your face broke out into a slow, still disbelieving but equally relieved grin, well…he’d be damned. 

“Yeah?” You asked hopefully, eyes swimming with unshed tears as you nervously looked between the two of them. 

“Yeah…” Sirius let out with a breath, daring to reach across the expanse of the bed that the three of you had clearly decided would be a no-man zone and delighting when you eagerly accepted his hand in yours.

“We thought you were asleep, dove.” Remus offered gently, and a shy smile crept across your face as you shook your head, a lone tear trailing down your cheek that your free hand was quick to wipe away.

“Couldn’t.”

“Why not?” Sirius cooed pathetically, rubbing along your knuckles with his thumb as he took your inability to sleep to be a personal offence. 

“Was too busy thinking about how crazy I am about the two of you, too.” You admitted in a whisper, and Sirius wondered if he had even frozen long enough to share more than a 0.35 second glance with Remus before he bodily launched himself and tackled you to the bed before peppering your face with kisses as you squealed.

“You mean-” kisses “to tell me-” more kisses as you giggled “that we could have been doing this” you squealed as he nipped at your collar bone “this whole sodding time!?” 

“Oi!” Remus chided teasingly. “Don’t maul her!” Though his statement was severely undermined when he all but pulled you into his lap to press his own rough kiss to the side of your face. 

“Oh, I’m just getting started.” Sirius threatened with a beaming smile as you looked at him breathlessly; eyes bright, smile wide, and heart full. “We have lost time to make up for.” 

ʚ ═══·୨ ꕤ ୧·═══ ɞ

Enough was enough, quite frankly. The tiptoeing, the dancing, the shy glances, the longing looks - it was all too much.

Something simply needed to be done.

Was it temerarious? Perhaps. Was it conniving? More than slightly. But was it also necessary? Most definitely.

She only hoped that she hadn’t gone too far, is all.

But any worries that Euphemia Potter may have had vanished entirely the second that her phone buzzed with a text from James the next morning that simply read: it worked.

[my-castles-crumbling]

glue - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - word count: 257

"I think you've set a new record, Prongs!" Sirius teased James as the week came to a close, all four of the boys relaxing in their dorm. "A whole week without detention? Have you turned over a new leaf?"

"I've become quite mature, Padfoot," James grinned, sticking his tongue out at his best friend.

But in reality, his new, more adult outlook on life had been less of a choice and more of the result of a series of threats.

"If you miss one more of our meetings because you've gotten your arse thrown in detention," Regulus had hissed to him the last time he'd received a punishment for a prank, "you are going to wish you're scrubbing out bedpans in the Hospital Wing. Alright?"

So, slightly turned on and very afraid, James had been on his best behavior for seven whole days. And he was more than excited to meet with Regulus that evening. Until they finally did meet and the younger boy looked down and sighed, saying, "I can't stay long."

"What- why?" he asked, not even embarrassed that he was definitely pouting.

"Ihavedetention," Regulus mumbled, all one word.

James couldn't decide whether to laugh or scream. "What? Why? Reg, you never get detention!"

But Regulus just bit at his lip, an adorable shade of pink filling his cheeks. "I...I glued Snape to his chair. For calling you a prick."

Which made James laugh outright. "Reg. You call me a prick once a day!"

Regulus, however, just frowned. "It's only okay when I do it."

[777heavengirl]

spill your guts

sirius black x reader one-shot ! warnings: miscommunication? (apparently, that’s all ik how to write), friends to lovers, mentions of injury, no war AU! word count: 6,730 masterlist a/n: sorry I've been MIA uni is BEATING my ass and i rewrote this like 35 times, enjoy!

“I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with my quidditch bat” Sirius's clammy skin and the breeze that flew in from the window you had slightly cracked open when he awoke hyperventilating, caused goosebumps to crawl up his skin. You stayed quiet at his confession, your eyes trained on his face but his burned holes into your baby blue duvet. “And all he does is scream and cry for help-“

He took a sharp breath, this was one of those rare times when everything rotting inside him tried spilling out. For many years it was just James and Remus, Peter occasionally, but now he found that he couldn’t help but want to spill his guts to you. You stayed quiet as he spoke, scared to say anything that would cause him to shut himself in again.

”And maybe halfway through, I realized that it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself.” Sirius never spoke of his father. His mother usually plagued his nightmares and it was the abuse he was more inclined to share.

Not his father's.

”He was really pushing his luck-“ His dry laugh, seemed cruel, but you could see how his fingers fidgeted, playing with a small thread on the edge of his boxers. The need to light a cigarette flashed in his mind. 

You knew the man was dead. You were with Sirius and the rest of the marauders the day he was buried. After everyone else had left the funeral, the brothers stared at the coffin on the altar of the mausoleum the rest of their family rested in. Regulus didn’t speak a word but gripped Sirius’s arm with white-hot knuckles. Sirius put his cigarette out on the shiny, polished wood, one last act of defiance. His brother nodded, almost as if in approval, but not quite, and apparated away with their family house elf soon after. Sirius linked his arm with yours. You didn’t ask how he died, nor did you ask about the brothers' relationship now that both of their abusers were dead and buried. Now that everything between them rotted away.

You never wanted to push the boundary more than he’d let you. Your relationship, if that’s what you could call it, was already precarious as it was.

Tonight had started like many others, Sirius knocking at your door. The flat you shared with Dorcas in front of the one he shared with Peter and Remus. And you answered, you always did.

“you look good tonight-“ You thought the way too small sleeping shorts were the reason he said so, it wasn’t the mismatched socks or the oversized muggle band tee you had stolen from their dorm fifth year. Definitely not the messy, bed-ridden hair. He had only seen your face, the glint in your eyes, and the pull of your smile. That had been enough for him to decide you were the most beautiful creature on the planet. “can I sleep in your bed?” You said yes.

You always said yes.

You didn’t have sex. But you slept together, his fingertips digging into the supple skin of your waist as he slept with his face buried in your neck. You often played with his hair, tracing spirals on his back until he snored softly. You wouldn’t have guessed that tonight would end up with him waking up, in a cold sweat and gasping for breaths, much less confessing his dreams of murdering his already deceased father.

You didn't hold that against him.

You took a hesitant hold of his trembling fingers, he seemed to welcome the touch as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

He pulled you close to him again after he laid back down. The window remained open with the nippy night breeze flowing in, but his skin eventually lost its goosebumps and his grip ultimately loosened, he was soft and warm and moldable now. He melted onto your side and you couldn't help but stare. At his perfect nose and perfect lips, the weight of the world that he held on his shoulders faded away when he slept, even if just for a few hours. 

You reveled in the fact that it was your bed he felt this comfortable in.

You hoped it was only yours.

-

Even the mornings where he had crawled out of your bed and your flat, the ones where you awoke alone and cold, he stayed in your head. He had imprinted himself on your mind, he had made it his home. Sirius Black, the man you were not dating, but the man you shared your bed with, occasionally made breakfast with in between fits of laughter. The man who had declared very loudly, and very drunkenly, that you'd make the perfect girlfriend at a party four months ago, and yet continued to ignore any hint that there might be something else between the two of you. Your bed felt cold the rare nights he didn't knock at your door, at this point your entire apartment called for his presence. Dorcas joked that he was your third roommate.

You always wondered if he had found some muggle girl to woo for the night, sleep in her foreign bed, and disappear in the morning. You wondered if he ever stayed 'til the morning in their beds, if he enjoyed them more than he enjoyed you. If your bed and your embrace weren't enough.

Until there was a knock at your door, the clock marked 1:27 am.

"A long time ago, my great-great-great-great-grandfather took something that did not belong to him," You wondered if this would also become ritual, him baring his heart naked. Baring his family's sins, his sins, to you. As if your divine acceptance would tip the scales, and that it would weigh his heart as pure. Your skin was the one riddled with goosebumps this time, as the cold that seeped through the window nipped at the thin material of your shirt and you duvet stayed discarded at the foot of the bed. You didn't mind it. He blew the smoke of his cig out the open window and turned to look at you again, unapologetically staring into your eyes. "And that is why I kind of look the way I do, 'm part Veela," you wondered if his confessions were a new level of intimacy you had gained access to. 

"As if I couldn't tell," he gave you a crooked smirk, the type he gives you when he's about to make some obscene, dirty joke. He didn't this time though. You visibly saw his shoulders relax when you made a quick quip, ignoring the heavy atrocity of his ancestors. It wasn't him after all, why would you hold it against him? He hummed, reveling secretly in your compliment. Maybe you genuinely did think he was beautiful. Regardless of the tattoos that now littered his body, or the scars of abuse that would never leave him, or even the random bruises that sometimes stained his porcelain skin, from his bike, from Moony's transformations, from everything. Maybe you even saw past the commitment issues, and unspoken words, or the fact that he left you to wake up to an empty bed often.

Maybe, somehow, you were able to look past all of that. All of him.

Sirius knew it was wishful thinking.

-

“Don’t look at me like that Moony,” Sirius said with a groan as he stood at the door, still holding the handle from closing it. Remus glared at him from the top of his cup as he sipped his tea, Sirius really wanted to skip the whole lecture, you woke up early meaning he also had to, and had to make the treacherous journey across the hall. He glanced at the clock on the wall, it glanced 6:30 am back at him. Why was Remus even awake?

“you’re a prat Padfoot-“

”I needed some sleep, it's not like we're-“

“It doesn’t matter, what you’re doing to that poor girl is horrible, if you really can’t sleep drink some tea, go to a physician” Remus turned his back to Sirius, angrily cleaning his cup in the sink, although he couldn’t see him, Sirius knew Remus’s face was twisted into one of disappointment and anger. “you know she loves you, and you use it instead of telling her there will never be anything between you-“

”I love her”

”You’re not in love with her, are you?” He turned the water off, turning around with a glare as Sirius stayed quiet. “She is.”

Sirius didn’t know what he felt for you if he was honest. He loved you, though. He had always loved you. From the days you ran around with the four of them around Hogwarts, when you passed notes in class, when you accompanied him on secret trips to the kitchens, when you helped clean his wounds at Potter Manor the summer he ran away. Sirius has always loved you.

Remus might think that’s worse.

”Stop sleeping with her and having breakfast with her the morning after, Merlin-“ he took a deep breath, his fingers coming up to rub his temples in frustration and the Welsh accent seeped into his words, “What the hell are you thinking Sirius?”

Remus knew he was being tough, but he felt bad. He felt bad about the way your eyes always trailed after the boy, and how you always stared at Sirius’s closed bedroom door when you were over for tea. You needed to be able to move on with your life. It didn’t help you and Dorcas lived right in front of them.

”Alright Moony,” 

“You’ll leave her alone?” Sirius refused to meet the taller boy's eyes.

”I’ll try”

- 

Sirius did not listen to Remus. 

He never did really, but he felt guilty now. He stared at you from your bed, you paced around stripping away the day, being a healer at St Mungo's was an arduous job most days. Some it was just kids with dragon pox and their mothers who came with worry stitched in their souls, doing rounds with residents that had been there longer than you, the older ladies always gave you candy. You didn't know where they were getting it from. Most nights you dragged yourself into your apartment late enough you might as well say it’s morning, and dropped, ruined and exhausted, on your bed. The worst days, it was back-to-back shifts of trying to heal curses, creature attacks, and mysterious maladies that left you drained and hopeless. Ones that made you fear the magical world that surrounded you. These nights you would've sought Sirius out, the way he did you, but you didn't need to. He was always there, somehow knowing and waiting outside your door. Sometimes, he was just exiting his apartment, going to knock on yours when you came up the stairs, other nights, like this one, he waited for you. He sat on the floor with his back against your door and his eyes closed until he heard your footsteps. He stood and greeted you silently with a kiss to your temple.

He trailed after you, into your room and onto your bed. So he sat, his back against the wall and the bottom parts of his legs hanging from the bed. He didn't say much, he observed as you sighed and sniffed, wiping your eyes as you muttered to yourself. He watched in awe as you took off the green healer robes they made you wear, your buttoned shirt coming off with it. 

“I don’t understand how hard it is to keep your kid away from places like those, the kid was barely five and now he has all these welts-“ you huffed in frustration as you stripped off your pants and walked into the bathroom, the door open so you could continue to ramble “how does a five-year-old get cursed? I had to call the Ministry-“

Sirius didn’t think he could deny the fact that he reveled in these moments, he couldn't hide it for the life of him. The ones where you were so comfortable with him, walking around in your mismatched underwear angrily rambling about negligent mothers and how now you have to testify at the Ministry next week. It was laced with domesticity and a cloying sweetness that covered his skin. He wanted to stop you and kiss you silly. To sleep with you, in all your naked glory, and not care because you’d be together. He shook away the need to keep you for himself. He shuffled close to the edge of the bed, his feet finally touching the floor and he picked up a trinket on your nightstand. He bought it for you when he visited France last summer. He promised Regulus he'd gone to see him a few days. It went well, he realized. He also thought of the fact he didn't tell you that's what he went to do.

”Sirius?"

"Hm?" he finally focused back on your words, his eyes flickering back to you and the small smile that formed on your lips when you saw what he had in his hand. 

"I said, what'd you reckon will happen to the kid?" your smile faded, and you picked nervously at your cuticles as you thought about him. Would they take him away? Would he be put in an orphanage? It was protocol you had no other choice but to call... and yet you couldn't stop thinking about it. You started moving around your room again, like a bee collecting pollen from flowers. Bees were cute, right? Sirius hoped you wouldn't think he was silly, Bees were cute, he decided. You grabbed a couple of items of clothing, collecting them in one arm as the other one massaged your scalp. 

"I dunno," he remembered to answer now, "I had never thought about it,"

He could hear you turn on the shower, but you padded back into the room as the water warmed. You looked at him, still in your underwear, the eye bags underneath your eyes were visible, your makeup long faded by now. 

"You never went because of your mum?" He shook his head, and you shuffled closer, the side of your leg pressed against the bed and your knee knocking with his as you looked down at him. Your hand went to caress his hair instinctively, his soft glossy curls sliding through your fingers easily. "I'm sorry no one noticed Sirius," this part was a whisper now, you feared overstepping a boundary you weren't aware of. He smiled at you, his hand coming up to pinch your naked side. 

You yelped and batted his hand away with a laugh. 

"She's good and dead now, I reckon it doesn't matter anymore-" He gave you a saddened smile, his nimble fingers grabbing a hold of your hand pulling you closer to him again. It was private moments like this, that confused you. The intimacy of it all, the way his lips pressed against the back of your hand and looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You were suddenly hyper-aware of how naked you actually were. You had been friends for the majority of your life, shame was long gone, but when you were so close you could feel his breath across the stretch of your tummy, it felt different.

"I reckon it does matter," You pressed a small kiss to his forehead and unpeeled yourself from him, "don't bury it all inside you, Mr Black"

You floated away now, in the sea of your anxiety over your actions, closing the bathroom door behind you. 

Sirius had a lot of destructive behaviors, he knew that. The smoking since he was fifteen, the reckless way he rode his motorcycle around, the growing collection of tattoos on his body, the tumultuous relationship he had with his brother, Merlin definitely the excessiveness in which he drank, not to mention the way he showed up at the Potter's every once in a while seeking James's comfort and unconditional love, ignoring the fact that the man was a father and had a million things on his shoulders. Lily didn’t seem to mind. At least he was a decent godfather, took care of Harry to perfection, it took a few tries but he got it. Loved him with his entire heart. But you, Sirius, thought you might be the worst of it.

The worst thing he’s ever done to himself is allow for this domesticity between you.

You came back from your shower with your hair slightly damp and smelling of your signature body wash scent, sweet and enveloping. The oversized shirt that covered your torso was almost long enough to cover 'til your upper thighs. It made Sirius’s lips curl into a lopsided smile that he tried to repress.

He was lying down now, starfishing on your bed as he stared at the ceiling.

”Are you coming to bed?” The clock blinked 3 AM at you, and Sirius reached his hand out. You walked closer to him, a small smile playing on your lips. You sent the towel you had been using back to its spot with a swish of your hand. Basic handless magic was a difficult skill to gain but Merlin so gratifying. 

“I forgot my pants silly,” he shook his head no, and reached for your hand with a bit more effort, grabbing a hold of it and pulling you down with him.

”Let’s just sleep, you don’t need those-“ He covered the two of you with your heavy duvet as you laughed, he leaned over you to turn off the lamp on your nightstand.

Yes, Sirius thought as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and threw one of his arms over your torso. You were the worst thing he had ever done to himself. He would never be able to let go, your hands stroking his hair until one of you fell asleep, the small ‘night that slipped past your lips just as your eyes fluttered shut. He'd never get enough of your saccharine scent that enveloped him like a blanket, comforting and warm. All-encompassing and suffocating, in each other’s arms every night, in the comfort of your room. 

Sirius knew it deep in his heart, what he had been afraid of for so long. Maybe Remus had it all wrong, maybe he was in love with you.

Because what else could this feeling be?

-

You tried to ignore the ache in your heart when you woke up to an empty bed. You tried to forget the fact that you’d probably do it all again tonight, and the next night too, all to bear the fruit of nothing. 

Dorcas shook her head and she pushed a cup of coffee towards you. 

“Don’t look at me like that Dorcas -“

”I love Sirius as much as the next guy but-“ you picked up the coffee and sighed at its warmth “He’s being a prat honey-“

”It's not like we’ve been having sex, he just needs some sleep” You shook your head and looked away, afraid that your eyes would betray you, “hell I needed sleep too”

”It doesn’t matter, Y/N you’re a healer get him a stock of sleeping draught and yourself some too while you’re at it…” She furrowed her brows but you stayed quiet, not daring to meet her gaze “I know you love him, but I’m not so sure he sees you that way-“

” I’m not in love with him”

“I didn’t say you were in love,” Dorcas sighed now, placing her cup on the sink and walking towards the small chimney in your flat. “Promise me it won’t happen anymore, that you’ll try to break it off”

”I’ll try Dorcas,” she didn’t believe you much, you didn’t believe yourself either, the Floo Flames engulfed her body.

It was hard to, separate yourself from him that is. Sirius Black was addicting, simply from the way he moved. Just watching him is entrancing on its own. Speaking to him, with his suave words and low tone. Everything about him, everyone craved to have a simple conversation, have even an ounce of his attention. Sleeping in his arms though, heart to heart? Now that was in a league of its own. 

-

You dragged yourself into your building, the day bearing down on you. You half hoped that Sirius would be waiting outside your door again, sitting waiting for you to lay in his arms. Disappointment added to the sack of bricks you felt like you were carrying when you turned to see the empty hallway. You sluggishly made your way up to your door, hoping to see Sirius's head pop out of his apartment door. Giggles came down your hall, as you fiddled with your keychain trying to find your key. The drunken whispers got louder and just as you grabbed a hold of your key you heard your name echo softly down the hall.

You dropped your keys in surprise as you took in the sight. Sirius stood rather close to a short woman, her bubbling laughter and her roaming hands didn't stop when he let his arm drop from her shoulders. All color drained from his face and his drunk, loose smile fell quickly from his lips. The girl that clung to him like gum to a shoe hadn’t noticed your presence nor how Sirius seemed to sober up at the sight of you.

You scrambled to pick up your keys as the blonde started whispering in his ear, starting to pull at him again. He called out your name one more time, moving towards you now, dragging the poor girl down the hallway with him.

“have a good night Sirius-“ 

You miraculously managed to get your key in the hole swiftly, turn it, open, and lock yourself inside just in time. Pressing your back against the door, your heart felt like it might leap out of your chest. You had always hoped that he wasn’t seeing other people, or meeting anyone else. And the absence of encounters just like this one had solidified that thought, you were properly convinced. Now though. You had just been lucky enough to not encounter them. You thought back, it was impossible not to feel like Sirius’s look had been one of guilt. Like he got caught. But the two of you weren’t anything.

You were painfully reminded of that fact tonight.

You hadn't noticed how fast or how hard your heart was beating. You felt like it was ready to break through your ribs, leaving you shattered and with a void in your chest. But it didn't do such a thing. No, you stayed perfectly intact, even as you felt the panic batter your chest and the notion that you were definitely not the only woman in his life torturing your heart.

"What's wrong?" Dorcas said in a whisper as she looked up, her large glasses sliding down her nose. The yellow lamps that decorated your apartment gave Dorcas's dark skin a low golden tone, like the type you'd see in paintings of candlelights and sultry lounges. Marlene was over today, her short, bleached blonde strands fanning over her face as she slept with her head on Dorcas's lap, her arms wrapped around the girl's waist.  If it had been any other time you would've run for the muggle Polaroid camera Lily bought you, flashing a picture of the two of them.

"Sirius was just outside with some girl," Dorcas gasped now and shot up, dropping Marlene's head on the couch. The blonde groaned awake and asked what was wrong.

"Sirius brought home a girl" The blonde shot up as well and the girlfriends ran to the door, trying to look through the peephole. "Well this whole thing has gone arse over tit hasn't it?" Marlene pushed Dorcas off for her turn at the peephole. 

"There's no 'thing' between us anyway"

"Well, shit" The blonde outside kept pawing at Sirius, trying to reach his face, to eat it Marlene guessed. He stared at the door, trying to hold the girl who stuck to him back. Marlene felt as if she was in a staring competition. She knew Sirius couldn’t see her but she still liked the thought that she’d win.

Dorcas was the first to peel herself off of the door and pull you into a tight embrace. Her hand rubbed circles on your back and Marlene followed, embracing the two of you. They smelled coconut-y and sweet, even the remainder of Marlene's stronger perfume wafted over you ever so slightly. It was grounding, really, to be hugged tightly by your closest friends, the smell of home, the comfort of knowing that you were loved, even if it wasn't by him.

"I'll hex him for you if you want" Marlene's suggestion, although serious, wasn't necessary. You shook your head sighing. 

"He didn't do anything-" Dorcas flicked your head now, a frown forming on her face as the three of you parted. 

"Like hell, he didn't-"

"He doesn't owe me anything 'Cas don't be harsh"

"He's been sleeping in your bed for the better part of six months I reckon he owes you a lot" Dorcas gave you a look of pity now, like you were a wounded abandoned animal.

"I say we set his motorbike on fire," Marlene suggested casually like she was talking about the weather. You slowly peeled your layers off, as you dragged your feet towards your room. You knew the girls felt bad for you, but it was your fault. Who in their right mind would let Sirius Black so into their hearts, knowing that no commitment would ever come from it? 

You. 

You would. 

From his muscles softened under your touch, his warmth spreading to your body, to the way he mumbled in his sleep. It was something your soul craved to see, to feel, to hear. He had bewitched you, without you wanting him to, without meaning to allow him. You threw yourself on your bed, starfished and in your underwear, freshly showered. The water did not wash away the regret nor the hurt. They only made you think of coming back to Sirius in your bed, smiling and pulling you into his arms. Your sheets were cold, and tucked in neatly, very unlike the cozy mess Sirius usually made of it. So you stared, long and hard at the white of your ceiling. You prayed sleep would take you, you were exhausted. Like your body had been beaten, like your heart had split in two. 

No such sleep would overtake you. Instead, you could hear frantic knocks on your front door, your muscles twitched but you didn't dare move, like if you breathed he'd know. You heard Dorcas rip the door open, the force of it reverberating through your small flat. 

"You got some balls coming here," It was muffled, but you could still hear the venom in her voice. She didn't let him speak. "You're going to die cold, sad, and alone Black— don't you ever forget it" She threw the door closed now, the bang shaking your room again. It was jarring to hear that, especially from someone as sweet as Dorcas was, and she meant it. Hell, you felt like she would make sure of it, no matter the cost. 

"Sweetheart-" Dorcas spoke through the door, her knuckles grazing the wood but not quite knocking. You didn't answer.

A muffled she must be asleep, and you felt like you could breathe again. You knew Sirius wouldn't end up alone. If he did romantically, the friendships in his life would fulfill that void anyway. He had a family. Most of your friends were his, and you knew, that you could never ask any of them to walk around the uncomfortable wall that seemed to form between you, or god forbid pick sides. It was stupid, you knew there was no reason you should be upset. You were not together. You weren't anything to him, and he wasn't supposed to be to you.

But oh he was. He was everything.

-

On nights like these, you thought you might reach your limit and have to be admitted into the psychiatric ward of St Mungo's yourself. You felt sweaty, and the stuffy healer robes didn't help to ease the heat that crawled up your skin. Your hair felt frizzy and out of place, and your buttoned-up shirt felt like it was choking you, but you couldn't stop. You couldn't afford to nor could the patients that kept coming in. The St Mungo's emergency room was nothing short of a battleground, it was vile and the worst turn to get. Especially during the overnight shift. These were the types of shifts that made you second guess your career choice, the ones that made you want to throw in the towel and drag yourself back into your apartment and never come out. 

"Y/N come on, they're bringing in a flying vehicle accident-" you frowned as you let your turn partner drag you towards one of the newly entered patients. For the first time that shift, you felt dread crawl up your throat, your heart skipping a beat as you saw Sirius lying unconscious on the bed. For a second you thought you had forgotten how to breathe, your fingertips felt numb and your ears rang. His perfect nose was bloody, his perfect lip bruised and split. There were scrapes on his cheeks, and his jeans had been ripped and stained red. It wasn't noticeable at first, but the metallic smell and the caked-on blood on his black jacket became visible as you approached, it all made it clear, it had been bad.

You couldn't understand what your partner was telling you, the ringing in your ears too loud for you to make out the words, but as they moved Sirius onto a proper bed, it all came crashing down again. Repeated prayers of no's rang through your head along with pleas to a higher power to let this be a nightmare, one you'd wake up from cold and sweaty but knowing he's safe. No such relief came, and your fingertips buzzed with electricity once again, moving so fast it was like you moved at two times speed. You couldn't think of anything but prayers, to what? You didn't know, but you did so nevertheless. To the stars, and the heavens, or the magic that ran through your blood, through his. You didn't know. But you muttered words of hope and love, as you cleaned his wounds, hoping he'd hear you.

You busied yourself and basically assigned yourself to his care, after they moved him out of the ER, into one of the beds in the rows of other patients divided by sheets. You barely left his side, just to shower and change into the spare clothes Dorcas had brought you reluctantly, mildly upset you were taking care of Sirius. You ate next to him, talked to him, read your favorite poems, and hummed his favorite songs. He mumbled here and there, and his eyes would flutter sometimes which you took as a good sign but the tension didn't leave your shoulders, and your prayers never ended.

James, Remus, and Peter passed by, dropping some baked goods off and comforting you with teary hugs. 

"I told him that bloody bike would kill him-" Remus said as he shook his head and sat next to Sirius for a bit, his hand on the boy's knee.

"How's he doing doc?" you rolled your eyes, amusement played in James's eyes at the pull of your lips. He had always secretly been a worrywart, but he played it off well as if his heart didn't almost beat out of his chest when he got the call.

"As long as he wakes up he'll be fine-" He smiled genuinely now, "Few broken bones," He hummed, looking at Remus and Peter huddled next to Sirius's bed.

"few broken bones hm? wouldn't be the first time." You talked for a while, each one of you ignoring the nagging feeling of worry. Sirius's boisterous laugh was poignantly missing from the conversation. But soon enough, James's father's duties called and he pressed a kiss on Sirius's forehead and one on yours very fatherlike and apparated away, Remus and Peter gathered themselves up as well not long after.

"Call if anything, okay doll?" Remus pulled you into a tight hug, his lips pressing against your temple as well. Peter gave you a small hug, his eyes trailing over Sirius's form sadly. 

You were left alone again, the window panes that surrounded the hall letting some moonlight in. Time felt like a thick jelly, your eyes staring at the clock as you ran your hands through his hair, the exhaustion was quickly catching up to you. But the thought of another coffee made your stomach churn and your eyelids felt heavy like lead. So you gripped his hand tightly and laid your head against his arm.

If he woke up, you'd be there.

-

Sirius felt like he might be in heaven, the second his eyes fluttered open you were there. Your face pressed between his forearm and the bed, your hand tightly clutching his. He could feel the ghost of your lips on his skin and goosebumps threatened to crawl up his spine, his thoughts straying to your pout. Your closed eyes and your steady breathing made it clear you were sleeping, Sirius couldn't help but smile. He very rarely got to watch you like this, by some miracle he always fell asleep first and woke up second. You were so lovely, with your soft skin and the angelic glow from the light of the moon glaring against the curve of your face. If it wasn't for the stinging in his face or the way his ribs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, Sirius would've sworn up and down he had died and gone to heaven.

He squeezed your hand, and the weight of the realization that you had been taking care of him fell on him. Guilt clawed at his throat, he had broken your heart and you still took care of him. He'll never forget the look on your face, the surprise, and the tears that threatened to fall. There was no other word to use besides heartbreak, and it had been his fault. He didn't know why he had brought her home, he didn't particularly fancy the girl, but the alcohol made his veins feel warm and she smiled at him and the impulsiveness and self-destruction within himself were a shoot-first ask-questions later duo that ruled his brain. He realized that you deserved more. More than him, more than the empty bed he left you with, or the avoidance of feelings. Sometimes Sirius wished you'd forget him. It would be better for you.

To forget his face, forget his name.

Your eyes began to pry open, and he couldn't help but spill his guts again. 

"For so long I hoped I'd fall asleep at the wheel and crash my motorbike on the ride home-" Your heart jumped to your throat, your head shooting up at the realization he was awake. His words were raspy and as much as he tried they were barely a whisper. "But then you came back from your apprenticeship, and moved right in front and it felt like-" he looked away now, his fingers fidgeting with yours. "Like you were that light at the end of the tunnel." Your hand was still pressed against his. 

"I stopped wanting to fall asleep on the bike, I just wanted to fall asleep with you"

"You are an idiot Sirius Black" The frustration gathered over the last two days flushed your system, tears threatening to fall over "you are so reckless and so utterly stupid-" tears flowed down your cheeks but you wouldn't let them fall, furiously wiping them away with your sleeve. He looked at you heartbroken. 

"I know love"

"No," you shook your head now and stood up, his hand falling back to the bed "You don't know, all I do is worry and care, and you don't!" your laugh came out crueler than you meant but it came out nonetheless "You never care Sirius- Oh and imagine when I don't see or hear from you for days, and suddenly you're dragged in here looking like you're seconds away from dying-" you paced around as you went on, your hands running through your hair in frustration.

"I didn't think you wanted to see me" he stared at you now, hoping to catch your gaze. Hoping to see if you meant it, hoping to see, something. Something that would tell him what he so desperately wanted to know. 

"I always want to see you" You locked eyes with his, his stupidly gorgeous stormy eyes. And he knew, from the pain in your eyes, from the way your pupils blew the second you looked at him, from the way you softened, anger dissipated when you looked at him. You didn't understand how anyone could look like that, how even scratched up he looked like he had been carved out of marble. "All I want is to see you," you were close enough for him to reach for your hand, even with pain shooting down his ribs, he did.

"I'm sorry,” you sat on the edge of his bed, closer than you had intended, as he spoke, looking at your intertwined hands. “and I’m sorry about the lass too-“

You scrunched up your nose, “I reckon that is none of my business” and he wondered how long you had to tell yourself that until you believed it.

”I sent her home, nothing happened-“

“you can go out with whoever you wish”

”I only want you” 

You looked at him again, into his eyes, into his soul. Hoping to catch a flicker of truth. His eyes looked at you with hope and want, and you knew. Sirius would never lie to you, he might be a drunk, and emotionally unavailable, and Merlin knows that he’s a mess, but Sirius Black was not a liar, especially to you. He squeezed your hands, pulling them close to his chest, pressing them against his heart.

”I’m so in love with you, you drive me mad,” he said this last part with a laugh, pulling a teary giggle out of you. You couldn’t help yourself, the wetness of your eyes and cheeks coming without you meaning it to. He swiped a thumb under your eyes, a nervous laugh threatening to spill from his lips, a watery smile forming instead.

“I am regrettably, in love with you as well” You smiled now, looking away from his scoff. His lips curled into a full-fledged smile now, as did yours.

“Am I that awful?”

”I fear so Mr Black,“ you glanced at him teasingly, the glint in your eye he loved so much returning. 

“I reckon you wouldn’t want to kiss a tosser like me then,” You couldn’t help but smile, as the both of you subconsciously leaned closer. His hands cupped your cheeks as your foreheads pressed together. “Can I—“

You didn’t let him finish, finally closing the distance between you. He kissed you shyly, a trait you didn’t know he possessed. You kiss him soft and open-mouthed, a small hum coming from his chest. His fingers hold on to your face, desperate to keep you close, and and you revel in the fact that his kiss turns hungry like he’d never get to kiss you again. 

You part with a small satisfied sigh, foreheads pressed against one another and eyes fluttered shut. Sirius thought about the many times he wondered what this would feel like, to press his lips against yours. He had dreamt of this for months; when you walked around your room in your underwear ranting or every time you opened the door, he dreamt of kissing you in the mornings and late at night.

Sirius realized, as he pressed another kiss to your lips, he had dreamt of kissing you for years.

[moonstruckme]

hi author !!! if it is okay with you i wanna request a fic in the same universe as the Big Brother!Sirius one where in reader gets a (secret) boyfriend and then they break up or whatever u want i just want hurt/comfort 🥹

Thanks for requesting <3

big brother!Sirius + little sister!reader ♡ 996 words

When you hear the door to your dorm open, you assume it’s one of your roommates or Regulus coming to shame you for missing dinner, but then your mattress shifts with the weight of someone else sitting down and a familiar teasing voice says, “If you’re dead under there, everyone’s going to think it was me.” 

You peep your eyes out from under the covers. “How did you get in here?” 

Sirius isn’t even looking at you. He’s making himself comfortable at the end of your bed, both legs crossed under him and hair falling in his face as he unwraps dishes and utensils. 

“Reggie let me in. He seemed to think you might need some company.” 

“He’s such a narc,” you grumble. 

Your brother only snickers. “Sit up, I brought you dinner.” 

You’d much rather stay under the covers, but know Sirius would only wrestle you into an upright position anyway. He always gets his way. 

“Yikes.” He makes a face as you sit up, revealing your bedhead and swollen eyes. “You’re having a rough one, huh?” 

“Shut up.” You glower at him and take the plate. “It’s not that bad.” 

Despite your grumbling, a bit of vulnerability sneaks into your tone. Sirius softens.

“No, it’s not,” he agrees, reaching forward to brush a piece of hair away from your face. “We’re always pretty; it’s in the genes.” 

You can’t help the small smile that fights its way onto your face. This is exactly the sort of thing your older brother would say when Regulus was twelve and sulking over getting his first pimple or when you nearly broke down in tears trying to style your hair. Despite his tomfoolery and general ridiculousness, Sirius’ levity actually provided a voice of reason in your family, reminding his siblings and cousins that things weren’t always so dire. 

“Thanks for bringing dinner,” you say.

“No problem,” Sirius replies softly, as though worried his gentle tone will be overhead and his rapscallion’s repute thusly destroyed. “Is it good enough that you’ll tell me what’s gotten you so upset?”

You blink at him in surprise. “Reg didn’t say?” 

Sirius’ mouth twists, dissatisfied. “He didn’t. I guess I would’ve been more likely to find out if I’d just pretended I already knew, huh?” 

That makes you chuckle. “Probably, yeah.” 

“Well, come on. Now you’ve gotta tell me.” 

You feel your shoulders hunch inwards. “Do I really have to?”

“Yes.” Your brother’s voice is firm, but his eyes are hopeful. 

You want to tell him, you find. You don’t suppose any harm can come from it now. 

You eye him carefully. “I broke up with my boyfriend.” 

Sirius’ eyes pop. He nearly topples your plate leaning forward, like you’re back in your childhood beds trading secrets. “You were dating someone?” 

“I was.” You can’t quite look at him, focussing on cutting your meal into small bites. “Or I thought I was. It doesn’t matter. I’m definitely not now.” 

“Wha—how did I not know about this?” 

“Because obviously I’m not going to talk about my dating life with my brother,” you huff a laugh down into your lap, and you swear you can feel the force of Sirius’ eye roll burning into the top of your head. “No one really knew. He wanted to keep it private.” 

Sirius tilts his head, slotting a piece of his hair behind his ear. “Private in an avoid-the-gossip-mill way or private in a dirty-secret way?” 

You close your eyes, shame curdling in your gut. Even your idiot brother knows enough to be suspicious of something like that. Maybe if you’d told him all those weeks ago, you wouldn’t be where you are now.

“In the second way,” you admit in a whisper. “I, um, sort of assumed it was because of the first, and I liked the idea of keeping things private too, but it turned out he had other reasons.” 

You try to take another bite of food, but it feels soggy and unappetizing in your mouth. You set your plate aside. 

“What happened?” Sirius asks. 

Your face feels miserably hot. “He just didn’t like me as much as I liked him. He didn’t want his friends to know.” Tears burn in your eyes, and when you try to speak again they show up in your voice, too. “I feel really stupid.” 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Sirius sits up on his knees, bending over you to fold you into a hug. His hand presses reassuringly between your shoulder blades, and you let out a little sob. “That doesn’t make you stupid, it only makes him a prat.”

You hug him tightly. “I just feel so silly being upset when he probably doesn’t even care.” 

“You are being silly,” he chastises, but there’s fondness in your brother’s tone. “Of course he cares. He may not be regretting things right now, but I’d bet ten galleons he will be by the end of the month. Trust me, babe, boys are idiots. We don’t know how to act, we almost never know what we want, and we’re ten times more likely to fuck something up if it’s important to us. Just ask Remus.” 

Your laugh is a soggy thing. Sirius rubs your back encouragingly. 

“So, what’s the sod’s name?” 

“Oh, no way.” You laugh even harder, pulling out of the hug to wipe under your eyes. “I’m not telling you.” 

“What?” Sirius throws up his hands. “But we were doing so well!” 

“I’ve handled it, Sirius. I don’t want you to go and turn his skin green or make him sprout nose hairs down to his chin.” 

A giddy grin. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Does Regulus know who it is?” 

You fix him with your sternest stare. Most other people would soil their pants, but because he’s your older brother, Sirius only raises a brow. “If he did, he wouldn’t tell you.” 

“That’s alright.” He steals a roll off your plate, biting into it insouciantly. “I’ll find out.” 

[aithusarosekiller]

The girls (Valkyries and Emeralds girls) totally just adopted regulus out of nowhere

And at first he was confused but now the Stockholm syndrome has kicked in and he's just part of the girls' club

One day Dorcas was like 'can I introduce you to my friend Mary?' And suddenly he knows their deepest secrets, has been added into their hypothetical wedding plans, and has met all of their parents (not that his parents can ever know he's so close with them)

This is also largely because he spent so much time with his cousins growing up that the girls were like 'no no, I can sense it, this one is alright, he stays' and he's too broody and quiet to argue with them

It makes no sense to everyone else, especially not poor reg but he just goes with it anyway bc they're all amazing

Sirius: can we join you guys?

Lily, Marlene, Pandora, Dorcas: no. It's a girls night, find your own hobbies

Peter, pointing at regulus: THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE

Regulus: 🤷‍♂️

Mary: he's ours, now fuck off, we're talking shit about you

-

Lion animagus Reggie being the gryffindor girls' trophy pet that gets passed around the group every so often and scares the hell out of everyone else (Marlene tries to dress him up in stupid ugly outfits for laughs but he changes back and they end up physically fighting each other)

[mischievousmoony]

𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜'

⟢ james potter x black!reader (fem)

⟢ summary: after your parents cross the line, you and your older brother sirius find sanctuary at the potters' . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 2.6k

⟢ warnings: abusive parents, blood, cuts, head injury

⟢ part 1 ⟡ part 2 ⟡ part 3 ⟡ masterlist

note: i wrote this for fun and never expected to be posting it so i hope it's not bad... i actually never expected to be posting ever again but here i am ;) anyway i’d like to give this a part two (or more!) but i’m not sure what should happen next

An eerie silence overtook 12 Grimmauld Place on what had so far been an unremarkable summer night. 

Not even the usual sounds of activity fell upon your ears. No creaks from the old floorboards in the hallway outside your door. No scratches against your window from the oak branch that desperately needed trimming. 

No cracks from your father smacking one of your brothers for ‘disappointing’ him. No shrills from your mother fussing about whatever she decided would upset her that night. 

Nothing. 

It was complete, utter silence—a silence that would send a shiver down most people’s spine in a house like this. 

As ancient as it is, the walls had witnessed countless tragic displays from the Black ancestors who came before you. These walls are soaked in dark memories, and any visitor would attest that they seep negative energy, drowning those that stay too long. As a resident, you’ve grown used to the sinking feeling in your stomach that comes with being in this house of horrors.

Silent nights like this were something to be grateful for. You could lie in bed, close your eyes, and imagine you were anywhere else. Tonight, it was Hogwarts that you longed for. 

Perhaps you were in your dormitory, about to drift off after a long day of classes. 

Or perhaps you were in the library, studying in the quiet lull of busy students focusing on their work. Perhaps you were even there on a study date with a certain brunette Quidditch captain. Your brother would certainly have a conniption if he knew this particular boy invaded your daydreams. 

You almost drifted off to sleep as this fantasy played like a film on the back of your eyelids. Were those hushed voices you could hear? Had your imagination become so powerful that you could hear students whispering about their assignments? 

Certainly not. The voices were real and coming from somewhere in the house. Your brows furrowed and you strained to listen. Not to eavesdrop, but rather to determine where exactly these voices were coming from. 

You held your breath to listen more closely. Had the voices stopped? Just as you were settling back down to lose yourself in your imagination again, a long, blood-curdling scream jolted you upright from where you lay in bed. 

If you learned anything at the hands of your parents, it was how to discern what was happening just by the sound of your brothers’ screams. You could tell that the scream belonged to a very much in pain Sirius. But the intensity of it was nothing like you’ve heard before. You itched to run to his aid. 

"Don’t do anything."

A memory of Sirius’ voice echoed in your mind. 

"No matter what you hear, you stay in your room and you wait for one of us to come to you."

You always did what you were told, no matter how much you ached to check on your brothers in moments like these. After all, as your brothers claimed, it would only hurt them more if they had to watch what happened to them happen to you, especially if it was just because you wanted to see if they were okay. 

You were the youngest, technically only by two minutes when it came to Regulus, but still, both of your older brothers were fiercely protective over you.

Another spell of silence settled over Grimmauld Place after your brother’s scream. The only noise you could hear now was your heart beating out of your chest. 

That’s what you listened to for twenty long minutes. Your heart rate maintained its rapid pace, as it always did until you saw one of your brothers in the aftermath of the assault. 

Apart from your trembling hands, you sat completely still, waiting and waiting for one of them to come. The longer it took, the more fear built up in your stomach. 

Finally, the sound of booming footsteps landed on your ears as someone barreled up the staircase. Two steps at a time, heavy, and fast. This step pattern was easily distinguished as Sirius’, and you finally stood up from your bed, staring at your door impatiently. 

Sirius burst into your room like a bullet escaping the barrel of a gun. In one swift motion, your brother hauled your empty trunk out from under your bed and dropped it on top. 

He unlatched it and tossed it open, “We’re leaving. For good. Pack only the important stuff.”  

“What happened?” You reached for your brother's arm to force his attention toward you. He hadn’t looked you in the eye once since entering your room. 

His clothes were completely disheveled. As you scanned every thread that was out of place, you noticed that his body was twitching every now and then. His hands trembled, and there was blood on his fingertips. Looking up at his face, you saw the source of blood—a wound hidden behind his hair. He had smeared away what blood had trickled down his forehead with his hands. 

“You need to sit down.” You worried he could have a concussion. 

Sirius took you by the shoulders and thrust you in the direction of your wardrobe. “What I need to do is find out where our parents hide the bloody floo powder. Pack.” 

Sirius’ tone was authoritative and his grave expression made your mouth run dry. Before you could utter words of agreement, he was gone. 

With a wave of your wand, your school books and supplies packed themselves. Meanwhile, you tore through your wardrobe, grabbing the essentials. You moved on quickly to grab whatever else you couldn’t live without: photographs of you and your brothers, letters of love that were hidden behind mirrors, gifted trinkets that you’ve grown attached to, and an ancient bracelet adorned with emeralds. 

As you clicked your trunk shut, Sirius appeared once again with a crystal jar under his left arm, which also balanced his own trunk. His wand was held defensively in his other hand. 

“Let’s go,” Sirius said flatly.

You followed him closely down the stairs to the drawing room. 

Sirius placed the crystal jar on the mantle of the fireplace. You glanced back in the direction from which you came.

“And Regulus?” You asked, wondering where your twin brother was. He would be joining you, wouldn’t he?

Sirius had an unreadable look on his face as he paused to answer you. Before he could, the shrill voice of your mother interrupted, “What do you think you are doing!?”

Sirius grabbed you forcefully by the arms and shoved you into the fireplace. Your right elbow scraped across the brick like chalk as Sirius was acting too fast to be careful. 

“Don’t you dare!” your mother bellowed and began casting hexes straight at you and your brother, aiming to maim. Luckily, Sirius was quite skilled with protego after all these years. 

In between casting protection spells, Sirius shoved his hand into the crystal jar and collected a heap of floo powder. He thrust the soft, emerald powder into your palm. “Go to the Potters! I’ll be right behind you.”

As always, you did what your brother told you to. In a flash, you were stumbling into the cozy living room of the Potter's house in Godric’s Hollow. 

Your eyes and mouth were filled with soot, and you nearly tripped on the carpet as you stumbled blindly away from the fireplace. Instead of falling, you ran right into something solid. Calloused hands landed on your upper arms. You blinked soot from your eyes to meet the gaze of James Potter. 

“What’s happened?” His tone was laced with worry as he scanned your body for injuries. He gently picked up your right arm, inspecting the scuffed, bleeding skin. He winced as if the injury was his own. 

You didn't answer. Instead, you turned to watch the fireplace. Feelings of anxiety swirled in the pit of your stomach as you waited for your brother. You thanked Merlin when he arrived just a few moments later. 

He was coughing when he stepped in and fell to the ground almost immediately.

James regarded you briefly, holding his hands out to you as if to say “hold on” before leaving your side. He rushed to his best friend and yelled for his parents as he tried to determine the problem. Sirius’ skin began to swell and turn sickly shades of red. You recognized this as the effects of your mother’s stinging jinx. 

James’ parents rushed into the room with panic written across their faces. They were in their nightwear and had their wands at the ready to defend their boy from any trouble he might be in. As they took in the scene in front of them, they discarded their wands and quickly came to yours and your brother’s rescue. 

Fleamont Potter offered to take you to a guest room, insisting that you shouldn’t see your brother like this. You refused, wanting to stay with Sirius as Euphemia worked quickly to counteract the stinging jinx. Fleamont, like James, couldn’t hide the worry from his face as you settled in on the couch. 

Your eyes were trained on your brother, but you began to feel sick watching him in all that pain. You shifted your gaze to the empty fireplace and wondered if Regulus would be the next to come through. You tried to shut out your other brother’s groans and cries as you stared desperately into the fireplace. 

With a mix of Euphemia’s healing spells and the application of some herby poultice that was perviously prepared by Fleamont, Sirius’ swelling subsided and his groans turned into occasional whimpers. 

You were able to stomach looking at Sirius again, but your face still showed levels of worry and unease. 

Almost as soon as your eyes fluttered back to Sirius, James took notice of your worry. Confident in his mother's ability to tend to any other injuries Sirius may have, he to came you. 

He moved slowly, as if approaching a frightened cat. You didn’t notice him until he spoke.

“Y/N,” He called gently, his voice barely louder than a whisper, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You tore your gaze away from your older brother to look into the young Potters’ eyes.

“I don’t know why Regulus isn’t here,” you told James. You just wanted someone else to share this concern with. 

James chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Well… when Sirius is better, we’ll find out what he knows about that. Okay?”

Your lower lip trembled as you choked out, “I’m scared for him.”

James offered a sad smile, “I know. We’ll find out as soon as we can, alright? But all we can do for now is make sure you and Sirius are okay. Let me take care of you, yeah?” 

You let your gaze drift away from James and back to your brother once again. He seemed to be in good hands with Euphemia and now Fleamont. 

You nodded, giving James the okay. He had a gentle hold on your upper arm as he led you up off the couch. You followed him through his house until he guided you into the bathroom and sat you down on the lid of the toilet. 

James sifted through the bathroom cabinets until he pulled out a yellowing pouch, stained with age, and a washcloth which he saturated with warm water. 

James held out a hand toward you. “Can I take care of that elbow, m’dear.”

You placed your forearm in James’ palm while his other hand got to work on cleaning your cut skin. As gentle as James was being, you winced anyway. Seeming fearful of causing you more pain, James managed to be even gentler.

Once satisfied, James lost the washcloth and dipped his hand into the pouch that he recovered from the cabinet. The contents he pulled out look considerably fresher than the bag itself, thankfully. 

First, he took out bandages, followed by a clear jar that contained a sticky looking yellow jelly. He scooped up a generous amount on his pointer finger and applied it to your skin. 

As he worked, he kept stealing glances at you, building up the courage to ask what all the Potter’s were surely wondering that night. He decided to bite the bullet, “Do you think you can tell me what happened?”

You explained all that you knew, detailing the events from the moment you heard your brother’s scream to the moment you fell into James’ arms. 

“Don’t know what they did to make him scream like that.” You shuddered at the possibilities. 

James was applying a bandage to you now. “‘S okay. He’s doing better now. My parents probably have him all tucked in bed and fast asleep.” 

James endearingly tapped your nose, “Let’s do the same for you, yeah?”

“I wanna talk to Sirius,” you protested. 

“Like I said, my parents probably have him in bed by now. Come on, I promise we’ll get all your questions answered first thing in the morning.”

You sighed but agreed. James led you through his house once again: up the stairs, down the hall, and through the third door on the left. It was a small room with just a bed, a desk, and a wardrobe. 

“Just a moment,” James said and disappeared into the hall. Seconds later, he was back with a Gryffindor t-shirt and some sweats. “Here, you can wear these. I’ll bring your trunk up in the morning.” 

James dipped out of the room once again to give you privacy to change. As you removed your shirt, you noticed bloody fingerprints on the shoulder and sleeves where Sirius had held onto you. You threw the shirt into the bin under the desk. 

Once dressed in James’ loaner clothing, you sat on the bed. Light knocks peppered the door and you called for, presumably, James to come in. James entered with a glass of water in hand. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, taking a few sips from the glass before handing it back. He placed it on the desk for you. 

James then helped you settle into the flowery, purple sheets, “Comfy?” 

You nodded up at him. 

“I’m, uh, just across the hall, alright?” James turned to leave. He stopped by the light switch and looked back at you. 

He took notice of your expression, which brought a frown to his lips. Your eyebrows were drawn in as you stared straight ahead at the wall and the corners of your mouth were turned down slightly. You barely even blinked as James studied the far away look in your eyes. 

James wanted to be by your side. He wanted to kiss you and hug you and tell you everything would be alright. But something about kissing you while your brother, his best friend, lay injured and clueless down the hall made him feel guilty. 

James sighed and flicked off the light. The door was pushed into its frame, but James hadn’t left the room. Instead, he approached the bed and sat on the edge of it by your feet. You pushed yourself up on your elbows to look at him curiously. 

“Gonna keep you company till you fall asleep, that okay?” James whispered an explanation. 

You’re not sure if he could see your nod in the dark, but you were too tired to use your voice. 

You sank back into the pillow and allowed your eyes to shut. A light pressure could be felt on your calf. James had rested his hand there, over the blanket. He slowly dragged his hand up and down, and you let his stroke lull you to sleep. 

The last thing you heard before drifting off into a dream was a quiet whisper from James' lips, "'M gonna keep you safe here."

next part

[kiwi2229]

Mother’s Day

(James Potter / Regulus Black | 620 words)

The calm morning at Potter’s manor gets interrupted by a loud noise of the doorbell. James looks at his parents with questions in his eyes but they both shrug clueless about who it could be. James gets up and walks to the door. He speaks through the window only to see Regulus standing there. He opens the door a wide smile already on his lips.

“Reggie, I didn’t know you were coming over,” James says and places a quick kiss on Regulus’ lips. The boy doesn’t respond with the usual enthusiasm. Instead, he is stiff like someone petrified him. James looks at him closely. He is dressed in a formal shirt and trousers, his hair neatly styled, and he is holding a huge bouquet in his shaking hands.

“Reg?” James asks again which pulls Regulus from whatever trance he was in.

“I’m not here for you. Is… is your mother home?” He asks. Even when Regulus is excellent in masking any nervousness from his voice, James spots how it slightly wavers.

“Yeah, sure.” He gestures towards the house letting the boy in. “Mum?” He calls.

He leads Regulus into the living room. Both of his parents immediately smile when they spot Regulus. James leans against the wall still clueless about what is happening but ready to support Regulus with the task he set himself up to.

“Miss Potter,” Regulus says. He is standing in the middle of the room shifting from one foot to another anxiously.

“Effie, dear. I told you a million times.” His mum smiles and sets the yarn she was knitting with next to her.

Regulus nods but doesn’t address her with her name. Instead, he reaches his hand with flowers handing it to Effie. “I just wanted to thank you for raising James and taking care of Sirius. They both deserve a great mother like you. It… it means a lot to me.”

James doesn’t even try to hide how he melts at the scene. The heart in his chest gives an almost painful thud when his mum gets up and hugs Regulus. He is so in love it sometimes doesn’t feel real.

“Do you want to stay for lunch?” Effie asks already eager to tug the boy on the sofa next to them.

“I… no, thank you. I don’t wanna be bother. I just wanted to give you the flowers.” Regulus smiles politely.

“Oh, don’t be silly. You are always welcome here.” Effie insists and Regulus quickly searches a room for any help. James can see how he is rubbing his hands over each other behind his back. An anxious tick he knows at this point.

He quickly closes the distance wrapping his arm around Regulus’ shoulders. He can feel how Regulus immediately leans into the touch as a relieved sigh leaves his lips.

“I think Regulus reached his level of social interactions for today. Right, love?” James says giving his mum a look. “But we can schedule lunch for another day.”

Regulus looks up at him in gratitude. He says a quick goodbye and James is already leading him to the door.

“I love you; did you know that?” James whispers as he brushes the curls from Regulus’ eyes. Regulus just nods and stands on his tiptoes to kiss him.

“You did great, thank you,” James says reassuring the boy. “When you are done hiding in your corner at home, call me, yeah? We can talk before we go to sleep. If you are tired, we can just meet tomorrow like we planned.”

Regulus just smiles at him. James is used to Regulus not talking sometimes. It’s okay, he understands him nevertheless. A soft kiss to James’ cheek for goodbye and Regulus is gone.

[hoaxriot]

I KNOW YOU

pairings. regulus black x potter!reader

synopsis. regulus ran away with sirius to the potters, he was fragile especially seeing you.

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right now you were laying on your side watching the vinyl turn on your record player, softly playing music as the only light comes from a lamp on your desk you were to tired to stand up and switch off.

usually you would be in james’ room hanging out with him but you were too upset, you and regulus had an argument before break and he ignored you on the train saying he didn’t want to talk until after coming back to hogwarts. so you had been miserable at home.

james was flabbergasted when he found out about the two of you, of course sirius was more angry then anything but once he saw you two together he just made jokes around y’all. you also knew what they went through at home because of sirius, he came to you a lot more than he thought he would when he needed someone. then regulus told you what went through his mind, it was hard to even sleep on break’s because your mind was always on them.

you felt your eyes close slowly since you had been thinking so much, but your eyes flew open when banging was heard on your front door. jumping up in your bed throwing your legs off the side, you sat there for a second before you heard james’ name being yelled then his running footsteps. you heard the panic in your mothers voice making your heartbeat quicken.

then you heard your mum call your name causing you to stand up quickly and ran across your room to open the door, since your room was the last one you ran down the hallway then down the stairs.

you heard commotion by the door causing you to slow down as you started to walk towards it as your heart got quicker. james turned his head towards you, the light was on so you saw the tears in your eyes causing your heart to feel like it was going to burst out of your chest.

then you saw sirius cuddled into your mothers side, it felt like your heart stopped and dropped into your stomach at the sight.

then you saw him, regulus. he was stood in front of your dad as he checked him. you were beyond confused at what was happening but you were still worried.

“sweetie,” euphemia noticed you stood a few feet away still holding onto sirius. she was going to say something but sirius heard her and knew who she was talking to making him pull away from her and look at you. his eyes were full of tears that were still falling, he had a large mark on his face but you couldn’t figure it out.

you didn’t have time too before sirius started to make his way too you, knowing what he need you met him halfway and caught him in your arms. sirius never understood why but your hugs always calmed him down so as much as he loved the motherly hug he needed you, his little sister that he always needed.

he mumbled something into your shoulder but you couldn’t understand, looking up to your brother who was helping your parents with regulus, you tried not to stare as sirius needed you but he looked so fragile.

“what’d you say, sirius?” you whispered, he sniffled as he pulled away still holding onto you. “can you, um- call moony, please?” sirius kept his voice low, “i really need him.” you understood him immediately, he had confided in you about the two of them.

“of course.” you smiled up at him, squeezing his hand before letting go, he watched you walk passed your parents and his brother. regulus watched you too, he really wanted you to hold him but right now your parents were dragging him and sirius to sit on the couch.

“what are you doing?” james appeared behind you as you walked into the kitchen, “calling remus.” you answered shortly continuing to the phone hanging on the wall. james stayed behind you as you dialed the phone before he decided to go with sirius.

the ringing lasted until the last ring when you heard him pick up and his tired voice speak into the phone, you told him as much as you knew causing him to get of bed.

you hung up and made your way back into the living room meeting eyes with regulus’ dark and sad ones. he had a permanent frown on his face, silently begging you to sit beside him. thankfully, you did even though there was more spaces. there was space between the two of you because you wanted to comfort him but you didn’t know what he wanted.

until, you felt his hand capturing your own as he scooted closer to you. holding onto you like his life depended on it. there was a short conversation about the black brothers staying here but there wasn’t enough extra rooms, your mum said they could talk about it tomorrow.

“you can sleep in my room tonight, sirius. i’ve got some of your clothes.” james spoke up as your parents left the room, sirius solemnly nodding before he looked towards you. you nodded with a smile causing him to stand up and following james.

it was silent in the living room for a few moments, regulus still held onto you. he brought your hands that he still held onto, he laid them on his lap causing you to watch him. he lowered his head on them making you frown.

you then heard the small sobs, the shaking of his shoulders. you pulled your hand from him then quickly grabbing his body and pulling him onto your lap. regulus grabbed onto your arms that hugged his chest, he continued to cry harder and harder every second as you brought your chin to his shoulder.

“reg, come take a shower.” you whispered into his ear as he started to calm down a bit, he breathed in heavily. feeling him nod against your arm with a small ‘mhm’ you helped him stand up and walk up the stairs.

walking down the hallway you both heard james and sirius talking, he grabbed your hand tighter once he heard sirius explaining what happened at their house. he felt you squeeze his hand back as you opened your door then closing it behind him.

“do you need help or…” you questioned him, he nodded his head, “okay. i’ll, um, ask james or sirius if they have any extra pajamas.” once again, regulus nodded in response before walking into your bathroom.

you stood in silence as he closed the door, turning around and walking back to james room. knocking softly, hearing the conversation quiet down, “come in.” james spoke from behind the door making you open the door and walk in.

“do you have any extra pajamas for regulus?” james sat up in bed as sirius followed suit on the makeshift bed on the floor, “yeah, hold on.” james stood up walking to his closet. sirius stared at you.

“rems coming in the morning.” you told him knowing what he was thinking, he smiled at you as james shut his closet door.

“here.” he handed you a pair of clothes, smiling at your brother as you grabbed them and walked out before saying i love you to the two of them.

walking back to your room and closing the door, not hearing your shower running but letting regulus be. you set your clothes on the bed as you sat down next to them.

sitting down on your bed for less than two minutes until you heard a crash in your bathroom making you shoot up and run to the door opening it.

regulus was sat against your bathtub, knees brought up to his chest as his hands held his head —sobbing. you crouched down in front of him, gently putting your hands on top of his knees. he didn’t acknowledge you he continued to cry.

“reg.” whispering his name softened but he still doesn’t rise his head. you grab his hands from his head, but he still continues to keep his head down. letting out a sigh, you bow your head onto his knee kissing it before situating yourself beside him and holding him like you did in the living room.

“it’s okay, baby. it’s okay. you’re here and safe.” you said softly as you started rock him back and forth a bit. he gripped onto your forearm tightly but you didn’t care.

after a few minutes, he leaned up. “i’m sorry.” regulus spoke, you furrowed your eyebrows. you shook your head in confusion as he continued to apologize.

“nothing to be sorry for. c’mon, up.” you started to stand, he followed without saying anything. you started to pull of his clothes for him, he put his hands up for you to pull off his shirt. once you pulled everything off, you turned on the bath.

he stood in nothing but is boxers waiting for you in silence, watching as you gathered soap as the water started to rise. regulus wanted you to say anything about the argument at hogwarts, yell, scream, push. but you weren’t, you were taking care of him like no one has.

“alright, in.” you nodded your head towards the bath, he stripped completely naked stepping in as you brought your step stool beside the bath as he sat down.

you grabbed the soap and a rag, rubbing it over his body. he let you as his eyes closed in relief, then you grabbed a cup from the ground and filling it with water rinsing the soap off of him.

once you finished, you grabbed the shampoo rubbing it into his scalp. regulus sighed in content with his eyes closed before he exhaled and opening his eyes.

“when are we going to talk about the argu—“ regulus spoke but you cut him off.

“later. this is more important.” regulus didn’t agree with you, he was going to speak again but you warned him to close his eyes, rinsing the shampoo out. he then decided to wait until he got out.

you finished his bath draining and he water and handing him a towel, “here, i’ll get your clothes.” he grabbed the towel from you wrapping it around himself, watching you walk out of the bathroom then back in putting the clothes on the counter, walking out again.

you waited on the bed, turning your music off as you did.

when regulus was finished, he walked out meeting your eyes stopping right outside of your door.

“can we talk now?” he questioned tossing the towel in your laundry basket, you sighed again. “please?” he took steps towards you leaning down at your legs as your eyes stayed on your lap.

“regulus, why does it matter? you should sleep, we can talk tomorrow.” you tried to ignore the conversation again but regulus brought his hands to the outside of your legs, “no, i want to talk tonight.” he spoke in a more demanding voice.

“i shouldn’t have been like that and i shouldn’t have ignored you when you tried to talk to me, nor should i have walked away without hearing you.” regulus spoke as he looked up at you.

“why does this matter? this shouldn’t be a matter to you right now.” you did want to talk about this until he showed up, hurt and upset.

“because, we argued. we can’t just leave it be. i want to say sorry for the way i was.” regulus said bringing one hand to your chin so you would look at him.

“i know, i’m sorry too.” you spoke quietly, he smiled at you as he stood up and sat beside you, hugging you. the two of you held onto each other for a long time, regulus desperately needed you all night but he hadn’t expected to be able to.

he pulled away, hand still on your waist as the two of you put yourselves under the covers. then he cuddled himself into your chest as you scratched at his head to help him sleep.

the two of you eventually fell asleep in each other’s embrace.

regulus had nightmares multiple times, ever since he was a kid. he began to put a silence charm in his bed because he started to wake up evan and barty some nights. some nightmares were horrid where he would wake up screaming, some he was just shoot up in bed covered in sweat.

right now, he was watching his mother torture you. he watched as you begged him for help but he couldn’t move. he started to move in your bed, starting to sweat as his mother was laughing in his face.

you were a heavy sleeper so him moving hardly beside you didn’t wake you up, until you felt a hard kick causing you to open your eyes slowly. regulus started to whimper in his sleep making you turn around to see him.

“no!” he yelled out in his sleep, shooting up to throw his legs over the bed. “reg.” you called out softly as you saw his body move up and down trying to catch his breath. he put his hand out for you not to move to him making you confused.

you sat up throwing the covers over your body and stand up, he was so lost in his mind so he didn’t notice until he saw your legs come into sight.

he cried your name in desperation, you didn’t say anything but brought your hand to the back of his head bringing it to your stomach. regulus wrapped his hands around you tightly as he cried again, your chest became tight at the sounds of his loud cries and the way he held onto you so tightly.

someone must have heard him yell because you heard footsteps carry to your door, then the door opened making you turn your head to see sirius looking at the two of you.

“reggie.” he called out making his way to him, he pulled away keeping his hands on your waist. regulus looked at his brother with teary eyes, then you saw sirius eyes fill with tears.

“i’ll leave you two.” you said before kissing regulus heads then walking to the door spotting your own brother watching sirius sit down next to his brother.

james met your eyes as you walked in front of him, he brought his arm around your shoulder in comfort knowing how hard it is for you to see someone you love hurt. it was for everyone but to you, it felt like you could feel their hurt.

“they’ll be alright, they’re here now.” he spoke softly so he didn’t interrupt the other siblings, you nodded into his shoulder.

the rest of the night the other two boys stayed in your room, talking all night, telling funny stories about each other.

regulus held your hand the whole night.

[ultravioletbrit]

“dead” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 357 words

Part 3/5 (part 1, part 2 / part 4, part 5)

“What are you doing?” James asks Regulus after he lets Sirius into the flat.

“Trying to escape.” Regulus says like it’s obvious as he’s trying—and failing—to open James’ window.

“Why?” James asks in a tone that clearly says, ‘what now?’

Regulus stops trying to open the window but doesn’t turn around.

“I still think that’s an imposter and you could be dead any second. Then he’ll try to frame my brother, and he’ll be falsely accused of your murder, all because you opened the damn door when you shouldn’t have.” Regulus squeezes his eyes shut. He knows he’s making this so much worse, but he can’t seem to stop the nonsense that’s spilling out of his mouth.

“This is your brother!?” James asks and Regulus takes a deep breath and turns around.

“Reggie!? What the fuck are you doing here?” Sirius asks Regulus—justifiably shocked—before turning to James. “Do you know each other?”

“Oh yeah, we go way back.” James’ voice is dripping with sarcasm and he rolls his eyes at Sirius then turns to Regulus. “Wait. This is the brother you’re hiding from?” James asks.

“Hiding?” Sirius asks James.

“He barged in here and said he needed to hide from someone.” James starts explaining to Sirius. “He looked kind of panicked, and I thought he might be in trouble or something.” Regulus realizes neither of them are paying attention to him, so he starts to slowly inch his way to the door. “So, I let him stay, but I realized pretty quickly he wasn’t in any real danger. But then I thought he was kind of snarky and he’s gorgeous so…errm… I still let him stay.” James finishes while rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact. This gives Regulus the opening he needs to slip behind Sirius.

“You let a crazy person stay in your flat because you thought he was pretty?” Sirius asks, like James is an idiot. Regulus made it to the door and slowly starts turning the knob. “I swear to God, James, you’re gonna get yourself killed one if these days.” The door clicks open and, “Freeze!”

So close. Regulus thinks.

[dovesdreaming]

Caught between stars

Summary: You’re Sirius and Regulus’s sister and you’re in love with Remus. Your brothers protectiveness push away the person you love and nearly cause you two to never find each other.

Request

Masterlist

Word count: 4.4k (my biggest yet!!)

-

The cold, stone corridors of Hogwarts had always been your home, but as you walked along them today, they felt tighter, more suffocating. It wasn’t just the pressure of your studies or the usual burden of being a Black. It was something, or rather someone, else entirely. You had been in love with Remus Lupin for what felt like an eternity. But you were Sirius and Regulus Black’s younger sister, and nothing about your life had ever been simple. Your brothers were protective to the point of obsession, despite their own messy relationship. Sirius, always wild and free, had made it his mission to shield you from everything he considered beneath you, including anyone who might try to take advantage of your kindness. And Regulus, though quieter and less openly affectionate, kept his distance but still made sure you knew he was watching over you. And Remus? Well, he was tangled up in it all. Remus was one of Sirius’s best friends, a Marauder through and through, but he wasn’t reckless like the others. He was thoughtful, reserved, always the quiet anchor to Sirius’s storm. But to you, he was more than that. He was everything.

The problem was, you didn’t know how to tell him. Or worse, how to tell your brothers. You had grown close to Remus over the years, initially through Sirius, but your bond had deepened in a way you couldn’t have anticipated. You found yourself looking for him in every room, heart skipping whenever he smiled in your direction. But every time you thought about making your feelings known, the image of Sirius’s reaction, his protective anger, his wild disapproval, flashed in your mind. And so you kept it to yourself, trapped in the secrecy of your love.

It was a rainy afternoon when you found yourself in the library, pretending to study for Potions but unable to focus. The sky outside was dark and brooding, mirroring your mood. As you sat by the window, staring at the book without really reading, the door creaked open, and you looked up to see none other than Remus Lupin walking in. Your breath caught in your throat, as it always did when he was near. He spotted you almost immediately and offered that gentle, kind smile that always made your stomach flutter. "Mind if I sit here?" he asked, gesturing to the chair across from you. “Not at all" you said, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn’t want to seem too eager. Remus sat down and pulled out a book, but his eyes flicked up to meet yours before he opened it. There was something different about him today, an edge of weariness in his expression, a certain heaviness in his posture. You noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the way his hands fidgeted restlessly. The full moon had been just a few days ago.

"You look tired” you said softly, watching him closely. He glanced at you, his expression softening, but there was still that guardedness in his eyes. "Just a long week” he replied, brushing it off. "Anything I can do?" you asked, the words out before you could stop them. You cursed yourself inwardly, wondering if it sounded too much, too desperate. But Remus’s smile widened, and for a moment, he seemed to relax. "Just you being here is enough” he said. Your heart thudded in your chest, and you quickly looked down at your book, hoping he didn’t see the blush creeping up your cheeks. But his words stayed with you, filling you with warmth. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance he felt the same way. Maybe he looked for you in a room the way you looked for him. Maybe he thought about you late at night, wondering if you thought about him, too. But as quickly as the hope rose, so did the fear. Even if Remus did feel the same, what would your brothers say? Sirius’s laughter could be heard across the school grounds, but his temper was just as loud. And Regulus, though less vocal, would still expect you to fall in line with the expectations of the Black family, even if those expectations were less strict with you than they were with him.

You sighed, pushing the thoughts away. But before you could sink back into the quiet misery of your unspoken feelings, Remus’s voice broke through your haze. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something” he said, his tone more serious now. You blinked, looking up at him. "What is it?" Remus hesitated, his brow furrowing slightly. "I’ve noticed something.. You’ve been avoiding me lately” Your heart skipped a beat. He’d noticed? Of course he had. He was Remus. Observant, thoughtful, always paying attention to things others missed. “I haven’t-“ you started, but the look in his eyes told you he knew better. "It’s alright” he said, his voice gentle but firm. "I just... if I’ve done something, I’d like to know”. His words made your chest tighten with guilt. You hadn’t meant to avoid him, not really. But the closer you got to him, the harder it was to keep your feelings hidden. It felt easier to pull back, to protect yourself from the possibility of rejection or, worse, the wrath of your brothers. But now, sitting across from him, you realized you couldn’t keep running from it.

"It’s not you” you said quietly, glancing down at your hands. "It’s me. I’ve just.. had a lot on my mind”. There was a long pause, and when you finally looked up, you saw that Remus was watching you closely, his eyes filled with concern. "What’s been bothering you?" You swallowed hard, the words forming in your throat but refusing to come out. You wanted to tell him everything, to pour out your heart and tell him how you felt. But fear gripped you, making your mouth go dry. "Y/N” Remus said softly, leaning forward just slightly. "You can talk to me. You know that, right?". The kindness in his voice, the sincerity- it was too much. The dam you had been holding back for so long finally broke. "It’s my brothers” you said, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. "It’s Sirius. And Regulus. They... They’re both so protective of me. And there’s someone I..” You trailed off, your voice trembling. You couldn’t say it. Not yet. Remus looked at you, his expression unreadable now. "They’re protective because they care about you” he said gently. "But you have your own life. You can make your own choices”. You nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. He didn’t know the full extent of what you were dealing with, but he was right. You couldn’t keep living in the shadow of your brothers. “I just... I’m scared” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I’m scared of how they’ll react. Of what they’ll think”.

Remus’s eyes softened further, and for a moment, you saw something there, something that looked like understanding, like empathy. He reached across the table and gently placed his hand over yours, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt through you. “You don’t have to be scared” he said quietly. "Not with me”. Your breath caught in your throat, and you looked down at where his hand rested on yours, feeling the warmth seep through your skin. It was so simple, so small, but it felt like everything in that moment. But then, just as quickly as the moment had come, Remus pulled his hand away, and his expression shifted. He sat back in his chair, his face suddenly more closed off, more guarded. "I should go” he said abruptly, his voice tight. You blinked, confused by the sudden change. "What? Why?" Remus stood, gathering his things in a rush. "I just... I need some air”. And then, before you could say another word, he was gone, leaving you sitting there, heart pounding in your chest and confusion swirling in your mind.

-

The next few days were torture. Remus had been avoiding you just like you had done to him and it didn’t take long for you to realize that he had figured it out, he knew how you felt. Maybe it was the way your voice had trembled when you talked about your brothers, or the way you had looked at him for just a little too long. Either way, he knew. And now he was pulling away from you, just like you had feared. It hurt more than you had expected. Sirius noticed something was off, of course. He was as perceptive as he was overbearing. He kept asking if you were alright, his tone almost playful, like he didn’t expect anything serious to be bothering you. But you brushed him off every time, unable to deal with his curiosity on top of everything else. But it was Regulus who surprised you. One evening, after dinner, you were walking alone through the courtyard when Regulus appeared beside you, his quiet presence both comforting and unnerving.

"You’ve been distant” he said without preamble, his tone calm and measured as always. "What’s going on?". You hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him. Regulus wasn’t like Sirius. He wouldn’t fly off the handle or tease you relentlessly. But he was still a Black, still your brother, and there were expectations that came with that. "I’ve just been..dealing with some things” you said vaguely, hoping he wouldn’t press further. Regulus gave you a sideways glance, his expression unreadable. "It’s about Lupin, isn’t it?”. Your heart froze in your chest, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. You stopped walking and turned to Regulus, searching his face for any sign of what he was thinking, but as always, he remained unreadable, his sharp features giving nothing away. “W-what?" you stammered, trying and failing to sound casual. "What makes you think it’s about Remus?" Regulus raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a faint, knowing smirk. "You’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you think you are, Y/N”. Heat crept up your neck, and you crossed your arms defensively, wishing you could melt into the ground beneath you. You had always been closer to Regulus than Sirius in some ways, sharing the quieter, more thoughtful side of your personality with him, but he could still see through you as easily as if you were an open book. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” you mumbled, turning away from him and continuing down the courtyard path. Your heart pounded in your chest, and your mind raced, trying to figure out how much Regulus actually knew.

He didn’t let you escape that easily, though. With quick, silent steps, he caught up to you and gently grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. His touch was light but firm, enough to let you know he wasn’t going to let this go. "Don’t lie to me” he said, his voice still calm but with an edge to it now. "I’ve seen the way you look at him”. You swallowed hard, staring at the ground, your heart thudding painfully against your ribs. There was no point denying it now, not with Regulus standing so close, his sharp eyes fixed on you like he could see right through to your soul. You were caught, and the truth hung heavy between you, unspoken but undeniable. “I..." Your voice wavered as you tried to find the right words. There was no easy way to say it, no way to explain what had been twisting inside you for so long. But this was Regulus, your quiet, watchful brother, and you knew that, despite everything, he wouldn’t judge you the way Sirius might. “I think i’m in love with him” you whispered finally, the words trembling as they left your lips. It was the first time you had said it out loud, and the weight of it felt both terrifying and freeing. Regulus’s expression didn’t change, but you saw the subtle shift in his eyes, a flicker of something, maybe understanding or concern. He let go of your arm and stepped back, crossing his own arms over his chest as he studied you for a long moment. “I figured” he said quietly. "You’ve been acting..different. Sirius hasn’t noticed yet, but he will”.

The mention of Sirius sent a fresh wave of panic through you, and you clenched your fists at your sides. Of course Sirius hadn’t noticed—he was too busy with his pranks and his wild antics to pay attention to your personal life. But you knew that when he did, it would be disastrous. Sirius wasn’t one for subtlety, especially not when it came to his sister. “I can’t tell him” you said quickly, your voice shaking. "He’ll lose it, Reg. He’ll... I don’t know what he’ll do, but it won’t be good”. Regulus nodded slowly, his gaze dropping to the ground. "You’re right. He won’t take it well”. There was a long pause, the silence between you thick with the weight of unspoken fears. Regulus’s face was thoughtful, and you could tell he was weighing his words carefully. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer, more cautious. “But... does Remus know?"

You felt your heart lurch at the question, your mind immediately flashing back to the moment in the library, the way Remus had pulled away from you so suddenly. You had thought he might feel the same, but his sudden withdrawal had thrown everything into chaos, leaving you more confused than ever. “I think he knows” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "But... I don’t think he wants to feel the same”. Regulus’s brow furrowed, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly. "Why wouldn’t he?" You bit your lip, unsure how to answer. It wasn’t just about your brothers; it was about everything that came with Remus’s life, everything he had been hiding from the world- his condition, the full moons, the pain he carried with him. You knew he would never want to drag anyone else into that darkness, least of all you. “He’s... he’s afraid” you said finally, the words heavy on your tongue. "Afraid of what it would mean. Afraid of what Sirius would do. Afraid of hurting me”. Regulus was silent for a moment, his gaze distant as he processed your words. Then, with a quiet sigh, he shook his head. “That sounds like Lupin” he said, a trace of bitterness in his voice. "Always carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders”.

You couldn’t help but smile faintly at that. It was true, Remus was always the one trying to keep everything in balance, even at the expense of his own happiness. And now, knowing how you felt, he had pulled away, trying to protect you, even if it meant breaking both your hearts. Regulus must have noticed the sadness in your expression because he sighed and uncrossed his arms, his gaze softening. “You’ll have to talk to him” he said quietly. "If you want to have any chance of making this work, you’ll have to be honest with each other. And Sirius... he’ll find out eventually, whether you tell him or not”. The thought of confronting Sirius filled you with dread, but Regulus was right. You couldn’t keep hiding forever, not from Remus and certainly not from your brothers.

“I don’t know how” you whispered, feeling the familiar weight of fear settling in your chest again. “You’ll figure it out” Regulus said simply, his voice steady. "You’re stronger than you think”. You met his eyes, surprised by the quiet support you found there. Regulus wasn’t one for grand gestures or emotional speeches, but in his own way, he was offering you the strength you needed. It was more than enough. "Thank you” you murmured, your throat tight with emotion. Regulus gave you a small nod, his expression unreadable once more. "Just... be careful. Sirius is unpredictable. And Remus, well... he’s got his own battles”. With that, Regulus turned and walked away, leaving you alone in the courtyard. You stood there for a long moment, the wind brushing through your hair as you stared out at the darkening sky. You knew what you had to do now.

You had to find Remus. You had to talk to him. It wasn’t hard to figure out where Remus had gone. He had always found solace in the quieter corners of Hogwarts, and tonight, you knew exactly where to find him: the Astronomy Tower. It was his favorite place, where he could look out over the grounds and lose himself in the vastness of the night sky. When you reached the top of the tower, you found him standing by the edge, leaning against the stone railing, his back to you. His shoulders were hunched, and even from behind, you could sense the tension radiating from him. “Remus" you called softly, your voice trembling with nerves. He tensed at the sound of your voice but didn’t turn around. For a moment, you feared he would walk away again, just like he had in the library. But after a long pause, he sighed and turned to face you, his expression weary but resigned. “You shouldn’t be here” he said quietly, his voice heavy with unspoken pain. "It’s not safe”. You frowned, taking a cautious step closer. "Not safe? Why?” Remus looked down at the ground, his jaw clenched tightly. "Because..I’m dangerous, Y/N. I’m not someone you should be around”. Your heart ached at his words, and you shook your head, refusing to believe them. "You’re not dangerous, Remus. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever known”. He laughed bitterly, his eyes hard as they finally met yours. "You don’t know what I am. What I’m capable of”, "I do know” you said firmly, stepping closer still. "I know about the full moons. I know what happens to you. But that doesn’t change how I feel about you”.

Remus flinched, his eyes widening in surprise. "You... you know?" You nodded, your heart racing. "I’ve known for a while. I just didn’t want to push you to tell me before you were ready”. He stared at you, his expression torn between disbelief and anguish. "And you’re not... you’re not afraid?" “Of course not" you whispered, reaching out to gently touch his arm. "I love you, Remus. That doesn’t change because of what you are”. The words hung in the air between you, raw and vulnerable. For a long moment, Remus didn’t move, his eyes searching yours as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Then, slowly, he let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “I love you too” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can’t... I can’t do this to you”. You stepped closer, your heart aching at the pain in his voice. "Why not?" "Because of Sirius” Remus said, his eyes snapping open and locking onto yours. "Because he’s your brother, and I-“ His voice broke, the rawness in his eyes cutting through you like a blade. "I don’t want to betray him”.

His words hung heavy in the cool night air, a weight that threatened to crush you both. You had always known this moment would come, Remus’s deep sense of loyalty to Sirius was unwavering, just like your love for your brother. But this wasn’t just about Sirius. It was about you, too. It was about the way your heart raced every time you saw Remus, the way you felt when you were with him, like you were finally where you belonged. “Remus" you said softly, stepping closer to him. You could see the conflict tearing him apart, and it hurt more than you could have imagined. "You’re not betraying Sirius. This isn’t about him”. His jaw tightened, and he turned away from you, gripping the edge of the stone railing so hard that his knuckles turned white. "But it is about him” he muttered, his voice rough. "He’ll hate me for this. He’s always been so protective of you. He- he trusted me to look after you, not...not fall in love with you”. Your heart clenched at the anguish in his voice, and you took another step forward, until you were standing right beside him. You reached out, gently placing your hand on his arm. He stiffened but didn’t pull away, and that small mercy gave you the courage to continue. "Sirius loves me” you said quietly, your voice steady despite the storm raging in your chest. "But that doesn’t mean he gets to decide who I love. I know he’ll be upset, but he’ll get over it. He’ll have to”.

Remus let out a harsh breath, shaking his head. "You don’t know that, Y/N. You know how he is. He’ll lose his temper, he’ll-he’ll never forgive me”. A pang of fear shot through you, but you pushed it down. Sirius’s temper was infamous, and you knew he wouldn’t take the news well. But you also knew that his love for you ran deep, deeper than his anger ever could. “Sirius will always be my brother” you said softly. "And I’ll always love him. But I won’t let his protectiveness stand between me and the person I love. I won’t let him stand between us". Remus looked at you then, his eyes wide and filled with a mixture of hope and fear. His lips parted like he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He seemed frozen, caught between the pull of his heart and the fear of losing his best friend.

You reached up and gently cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at you. His skin was warm beneath your fingertips, and the contact sent a shiver down your spine. "Remus, please” you whispered, your voice breaking. "Don’t pull away from me. I love you. And I know you love me too. Isn’t that enough?" For a moment, he said nothing, just stared at you with those haunted eyes, his breath coming in ragged bursts. Then, finally, his resolve cracked. His hand came up to cover yours, and he leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering shut as if he was surrendering to the feelings he had been fighting for so long. “I’m so scared" he admitted, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper. "I’m scared of hurting you, of losing Sirius, of losing everything”. Your heart twisted at the vulnerability in his voice. You had always known Remus carried so much weight on his shoulders, more than anyone should ever have to. But now, you saw just how deeply that burden ran, how much he had been trying to protect you and everyone else by keeping his distance. “You won’t lose us” you promised, your voice trembling with emotion. "I won’t let that happen. Sirius will come around, and we’ll figure this out. But please, Remus, don’t push me away. I can’t bear it”.

He opened his eyes then, and the raw emotion in them took your breath away. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. You melted into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours as his hands slid up your back, holding you like he was afraid you might slip away. For a long moment, you stayed like that, clinging to each other in the quiet of the night, the tension slowly melting away. It felt right, like everything was falling into place after so long. When Remus finally pulled back, his hands still rested on your waist, and his eyes were softer now, though still clouded with concern. "I don’t know how to do this," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know how to love you and keep everyone safe at the same time”. “We’ll figure it out” you said, your voice filled with quiet determination. "Together”.

He smiled then, just a small, tentative smile, but it was enough. His thumb brushed gently against your cheek, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You’re too good for me” he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don’t deserve you”. You smiled through the tears that were now pricking at your eyes, shaking your head in return. "That’s not true, Remus. You deserve to be happy, just like anyone else”. He hesitated for a moment longer, his gaze flickering down to your lips. And then, as if a dam had finally broken, he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft, hesitant kiss.

The world seemed to stop spinning as your heart soared. His kiss was gentle, almost unsure, like he was still afraid to hurt you, but the love behind it was undeniable. You kissed him back, pouring every ounce of your feelings into that moment, every bit of longing and fear and hope. When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and you both stood there, breathing heavily, lost in each other. “I love you” he whispered again, the words filled with so much emotion it made your heart ache. "I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I love you”. Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you smiled through them, your heart swelling with so much love for him that you thought it might burst. "I love you too” you whispered back, your voice choked with emotion. "More than anything”. For the first time in what felt like forever, the fear that had been gnawing at your heart began to fade. There would be challenges ahead, no doubt. Sirius would be furious when he found out, and you would have to face that storm together. But standing there with Remus, in his arms, you knew that it was worth it. He was worth it. And together, you would find a way to make it work.

The next morning, you found yourself standing outside the Gryffindor common room, your heart racing as you prepared to tell Sirius the truth. Remus stood beside you, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back, a silent gesture of support. His presence gave you strength, even though you could see the tension in his eyes, the fear of what was about to come. “Are you ready?" he asked softly, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. You nodded, taking a deep breath. "I’m ready”. Together, you stepped forward, ready to face whatever came next.

-

Thank you for reading!!

[lexithwrites]

some moonwater nsfw for fun:

“Have you heard from Remus today?” Peter asked, fiddling with his keys as James bent down to tie his laces tighter. The last thing he needed was to eat shit on the way to the pub. Sirius would never let him live that down.

“He said he wasn’t feeling social,” James told him, “you know how he is. Prefers staying in.” They both glanced down the hall to Remus’ room, hoping he was feeling better.

“Should we ask him if he wants paracetamol or something? What if he has a cold? What if it spreads!?” Peter’s eyes went wide but James just snorted.

“Pete, you have the best immune system out of any of us, chill.”

“But I could be a carrier!”

“You’ll be fine, I promise.” James sighed as he stood up right. “Don’t bother Remus, leave him be.” James patted his back and nodded to the door, leaving Peter little chance to turn back now.

“Fine, but I’m buying him some tissues if he starts sneezing.” And they shut the door.

Silence.

A moan.

“Remus, they could still hear—“ Regulus gasped when he felt Remus rub deeper inside him and he slapped a hand over his mouth again, muffling the groan. Remus, lying across his back and looming over him, panted into Regulus’ ear.

“They can’t hear you…promise…please let it out, I want to hear you.” He nuzzled Regulus’ neck and his boyfriend sighed, letting his eyes roll back as Remus’ rocked his hips down. “Doesn’t it feel good?”

“Mhm.”

“Love.”

“Yes!” Regulus pulled his hands away to grip the sheets, fisting them as Remus reached places inside him he’d never felt before. “Oh god, you’re so deep—“

“I know, I know.” Remus pushed his nose against Regulus’ cheek and groaned. “I’m close.”

“Me too.” Regulus turned his head a little and pulled Remus down by his hair for a kiss, making him buck his hips hard. “Come on, puppy.”

“Oh—“ Remus’ snapped his hips forward again. “I’ll cum if you call me that.”

“Good.” Regulus smiled and Remus couldn’t resist him when he smiled. It felt too good, and being called puppy…it melted him. He moaned and gripped onto his boyfriends hips, fucking him into the mattress properly now that the others were gone. They’d silently been lying like this for almost ten minutes whilst James and Peter tottered about getting ready, and it had been almost impossible to not pound Regulus with how much he had been tightening around him. The fear of getting caught somehow turned him on, and Remus wasn’t complaining.

He liked the thrill of it too.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum—“ Regulus choked out from beneath him and Remus bit his lip as he fucked him a little harder, wanting to feel him go over that edge.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” He mumbled and groaned as he felt Regulus start to cum, which immediately triggered his own orgasm. They moved together, rocking and shaking as they slowly came down. Remus’ arms were struggling with his weight and Regulus smiled, gently tugging him back down so he was lying on him again.

“Feel better?” He teased, referring to his friends conversation. Remus chuckled, kissing across Regulus’ shoulders and neck.

“You’re evil.”

“I’m convincing.”

“Fucking when my friends are here is dangerous, you know.” Remus pointed out.

“Like they don’t get laid.”

“They do, but we’re louder.” Remus nipped Regulus’ ear to hear him sigh.

“You are, maybe. I can control myself.” Regulus leaned up for a kiss, knowing Remus would take that as a challenge.

What could he say? He was competitive by nature.

[supernova-stardust]

No One Has To Know What We Do

jegulus | 18+ | 5,602 words | kinktober submission

@jeguluskinktoberr day 26 - mirror sex

Regulus has worked his entire life to earn a spot at Juilliard in their ballet program, but one day he's late to class and is forced to teach the Columbia football team their monthly ballet lesson. Enter James Potter: handsome, cocky, and annoying. Obviously, Regulus hates him immediately and can't resist his charm.

OR

Regulus and James hook up in the ballet studio after class and make a mess of the mirror (and each other).

This fic was written specifically for Jegulus Kinktober 2024 and contains the following prompts:

cunnilingus/deep throating, marking, impact play, semi-public sex, punishments, praise kink, mirror sex, breathplay

entire fic after the break or read on ao3, minors: dni

Regulus had never been late to class in his entire life. In fact, he typically showed up at least a half hour early to warm up, stretch, and make sure that he always got his favorite spot at the barre. Ballet was a wonderful discipline and he prided himself on being the most disciplined. He was never, ever late. That’s part of what had earned him his spot here in the first place. Very few people made it to the college level for ballet, let alone men. Nevermind Juilliard. He had goals, namely to be a part of the NYC Ballet Company and perform until he physically couldn’t anymore.

And so, the fact that he was running late today felt so unreal, it was like an out-of-body experience. Of course every single thing that could have gone wrong did go wrong and as he entered the room huffing out of breath with everyone staring at him, he knew that he was in for the worst class of his life.

“Lovely of you to join us, Regulus. I was just telling everyone who arrived on time that the studio will be closed to private practices this evening to allow the Columbia football team to have their monthly lesson,” his instructor explained as he set his belongings down on the floor in the corner and made his way to the barre. Thankfully, his spot was empty. Dancers were creatures of habit after all. “I was going to ask for a volunteer to stay tonight and teach their lesson, but since you’re late, I believe you should have the energy to stay late today.”

Fuck. Of course the only time he was late he would get saddled with teaching the football jocks. It was well known that none of them took their lessons seriously.

“Of course, I’d be happy to stay,” he said instead of voicing his honest thoughts. He’d rather drown himself than stay late for people who didn’t even respect the work they did, but saying no wasn’t exactly an option if he wanted to maintain his instructor's respect.

***

As the football team filed into the studio, Regulus felt more nervous and exposed than he expected. Growing up, he always knew he was a man. He started testosterone the moment he turned eighteen, despite his parents disowning him for it and in his everyday life he never thought about ‘passing’ anymore. He rarely, if ever, experienced dysphoria anymore. No one he knew before transitioning went to university with him and really the only person who knew and he saw regularly was his older brother, Sirius. Despite all of that, being surrounded by muscular and extremely masculine men had him questioning his ability to 'pass' for the first time in a long time. Every guy who walked in made him feel more and more self conscious. His body was toned and muscular, he couldn’t dance for hours on end if he wasn’t fit, but where he was all lithe limbs and grace, these men were bulky muscles, sharp jawlines, and reminded him of the picture-perfect portrayal of masculinity. 

“Please spread yourselves out on the barre along the wall and stretch while we wait for everyone to arrive,” Regulus announced. He heard murmurings of jokes and complaints but didn't deign them important enough to respond. He scrolled through the music app on his phone, searching for his preferred playlist that he listened to for warmups when he was alone. He hoped that it worked well enough for the class today, but figured that the jocks in the room wouldn’t notice if it didn’t anyway. As he connected his phone to the bluetooth speaker in the studio, a man with dark, messy hair and richly tanned skin ambled into the studio. The man’s warm brown eyes crinkled behind golden framed glasses as he laughed loudly at something one of his teammates said as they came into the studio together, not caring about the etiquette of staying quiet in the studio to avoid disruptions.

Regulus hated him immediately.

The two men shoved at each other a bit before Regulus cleared his throat. The two of them froze and looked at him, the one wearing glasses raking his eyes up and down Regulus’ body. “There’s a time and place for… whatever it is you’re doing,” Regulus snapped at them. “This is neither. Please, take a spot at the barre so we can get class started. Might I remind you that this is a requirement for your training and your coach relies on my feedback to know whether or not you're participating properly.”

They went completely stone-faced and found their ways to the barre at Regulus' scolding, clearly wanting to make sure that they didn't need to repeat this lesson in order to continue to be a part of the team. Regulus went through the motions of showing the team a very basic combination to start and pressed play on the music. “Five, six, seven, eight,” he counted out and led the class into their warmup. Once he was sure that they had the basic combination down, he began making his rounds down the barre, offering subtle corrections and moving their bodies as needed. When Regulus made his way to the man with the golden skin and messy hair, he placed his hands on his hips and adjusted him properly.

“At least ask my name first, love,” the man joked, his eyes crinkling in that annoyingly cute way as he smiled wide. 

“Does it matter? Neither of us wants to be here,” Regulus retorted.

“Aw, c’mon. You don’t know that.” He tilted his hips again and Regulus swore it was intentional. “My name’s James, by the way.”

“James, you know what I want you to do?” Regulus asked as he corrected his hips again.

“What’s that, love?”

“Shut up and hold your hips properly.”

James hummed and looked as though he’s deep in thought for a moment before he replied. “I’d prefer if you held them, I think.” 

His teammate behind him at the barre stifled a laugh and looked away quickly when Regulus glared at him. Regulus groaned in annoyance and walked away, figuring that ignoring him was the better option for class to be able to continue with as few disruptions as possible.

After what Regulus swore was the longest hour of his life, he dismissed the class and informed them that he would be emailing their coach to confirm that they all completed the class and to schedule their time for the following month. The men all nodded and said their thanks as they grabbed their belongings and shuffled out the door. All except for one. When only Regulus and James remained in the studio, Regulus walked over to his bag on the floor and pulled on his oversized sweater and baggy sweatpants. He sat on the floor and peeled his black ballet shoes off his feet while watching James standing in the middle of the studio. His entire life he’d been under a microscope, having his body analyzed and critiqued for every slight imperfection, but he’d never felt more heavily scrutinized than while James was staring at him alone in this space. 

“You can leave now,” Regulus snapped. After ten hours in the studio, he was ready to leave and he didn’t want to entertain this immature man any longer than he had to.

“I just— You never told me your name.”

“That was intentional.”

James stepped closer to him and while normally being alone with a man like this might make him uncomfortable, Regulus couldn’t help but feel drawn to everything about him, his casual confidence pulling him in. If they were in different circumstances and had met in a more controlled setting where Regulus could make sure that he was cool with the fact that he was trans before any flirting happened, Regulus might have even wanted to date this annoying man. Or at least fuck him. He hated James for it.

“Are you really gonna make me beg? I’m not above getting on my knees, you know.”

Fucking hell, this guy.

“Regulus.”

The corner of James’ mouth quirked up in a smirk and he took another step closer. “Regulus,” he said in a way that made his name sound like sin. “I’ve never met anyone named Regulus before. A unique name for a unique beauty.”

Regulus scoffed as he stood, grabbing his bag and slipping on his slides as he tried to step around James. “Thanks. Picked it out myself. Are you done? I’d like to go home now.”

“Picked it out— oh, that’s cool.” James stepped into his path and walked backwards as Regulus continued walking towards the door as if James wasn't even there. When they reached the door, James pressed his back to it and smiled down at him. “Look, I’m gonna be really honest with you, I think you’re hot.”

Regulus glared at him in response, crossing his arms and pushing his weight into one hip. He said nothing while James seemed to squirm under his cold eyes before continuing on.

“I, uh, I don’t date,” James explained. “Too busy between football, school, friends, and work. Feels rude to demand someone’s attention when I can’t give them mine.”

“I have a hard time believing you care about being rude.”

“Says the meanest guy I’ve ever met, I mean, fuck. You didn’t even give me a chance to— anyway, you’re hot. For some reason, I think I’m into the whole mean thing. We’re here all alone and I’m sure you’re the one with the keys to lock up.”

“Are you trying to hook up with me?” Regulus raised an eyebrow in question.

“Are you flattered?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on,” James whined as he banged his head on the door behind him. “Have you ever had a hot quarterback want to fuck you in the dance studio? You can’t honestly tell me you didn’t think about it at all during that class. You had us all bent over, for fuck’s sake.”

“This is a learning environment,” Regulus replied. “I’m a professional, you know.” He refused to admit that he absolutely was staring at James’ ass every time he passed by, but now he wondered if the man had seen him in the mirrors lining the walls.

“Please, you’re not as subtle as you think.”

Regulus’ cheeks turned pink at that and he felt the blush all the way to his ears.

“I’ll move so we can both go home if you can honestly tell me that you don’t want to hook up. But I have a feeling that you want this as badly as I do.”

The silence that stretched between them was charged with desire. As much as he hated the guy, Regulus wanted James so badly it hurt. But he was also terrified of, well, everything. Being a gay trans man came with a lot of disclaimers beforehand, in his experience. He tried to hint at the fact that he was trans earlier and James said he was cool, but did he really know what he was getting himself into by continuing to hit on Regulus? If he told James outright, would he be safe here alone with him? 

Regulus let out a shaky breath before he spoke again. “I— I don’t usually hook up like this.”

“It’s fine, it can stay between us.”

Oh, why did that hurt? Why didn’t he want to be kept as a dirty little secret? What was it about James that made him… want? He’d never wanted anyone like this before. 

“It’s not that, It’s— I’m trans.”

“Okay?” James’ eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Don't take this the wrong way, but I’m not sure why that matters?”

Regulus gaped at him, unsure how to even respond to the confusing man before him.

“I think you’re hot,” James continued, saving Regulus from having to formulate a response. “I’m pretty sure you think I’m hot, though you haven’t admitted it. If I was a more self conscious man, I might feel a bit inadequate if I’m honest. We’re young and we have this place to ourselves for the night. I’m clean too, if you were wondering.”

“I’m clean,” Regulus responded without processing the rest of what James just said. 

James smiled at that. “So?”

“So?”

“You want to go home or can I kiss you already?”

Regulus dropped his bag on the floor next to him with a loud thud and crashed his lips onto James’, crowding his body against the door. Their first kiss was a cruel thing, the building energy between them finally boiling over into something physical. James’ arms wrapped around Regulus, one snaking down to his lower back and the other gripping the nape of his neck. When Regulus brushed his tongue along the seam of James’ lips, he opened for him and Regulus allowed himself to indulge in exploring James’ mouth.

Regulus reached a hand down towards the knob of the studio door near James’ hip and clicked the lock in place while they continued kissing. He felt James smirk against his mouth and pulled back, glaring at the taller man he had pinned against the wall with his body.

“What?” Regulus snapped. He would never admit it outloud, but really wasn’t sure why this man’s cocky attitude was so attractive. That smirk on his face made him melt and Regulus knew that he was in for a world of hurt after this was all over and James wanted nothing to do with him again.

“Planning on more than a kiss?”

“You were the one who—”

“I know, shh, I’m just teasing.” James placed a quick peck on Regulus’ lips. “I feel like I’m pushing my luck here by asking, but do you have a condom?”

Regulus felt his face heat. He normally wasn’t embarrassed by sex, honestly. There was just something about this Adonis of a man trapped against the door in front of him asking him for a condom that felt like an out-of-body experience. “Uh, I think so, let me check.” He dropped down to his knees and rifled through his bag, trying to ignore the heavy weight of James’ gaze on him. When he found the condom, he grabbed it and looked up, holding the condom up like a prize. James’ eyes were heavy with desire and when Regulus went to stand up, James buried a hand into his hair to hold him in place. 

“You look so pretty on your knees, Regulus.”

“I’d look prettier with your cock in my mouth.”

“Oh,” James tightened his grip in his hair and Regulus let out a wanton moan at the feeling. “You are a good boy, aren’t you?”

Regulus hummed in response and reached for the waistband of James’ shorts, tugging them and his boxers down just low enough to free his hard cock. Regulus leaned forward against the resistance of the hand buried in his hair and lapped at the precum beading at the tip. James groaned at the feeling and pumped himself a couple of times in front of Regulus’ face. Regulus raised himself up higher on his knees and dragged his hands up under James’ shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his abdomen and back before he licked at a vein along the underside of his cock and then sucked him into the back of his throat, taking as much of him in his mouth as possible. 

He bobbed his head a few times, relishing at the feeling of James’ hand threaded in his dark curls guiding his movements, then pulled back and ran his tongue up his entire length. He swirled his tongue around the tip once, twice, then pushed his tongue at the slit, moaning at the unique salty taste that was James. When he looked up under hooded eyes, they locked eyes and James gave him a pleased smile.

“Fuck,” James breathed. “You’re so good for me, you do look so pretty just like this, I knew you would. Can you be such a good boy and let me fuck your throat, hm?”

Regulus squirmed as he opened his mouth with his tongue flat, feeling hot wetness pooling between his legs. When he felt James slide his cock back into his mouth, he relaxed his throat and surrendered completely to the pace that James set. He felt James shift so he had one hand on both sides of his head and Regulus adjusted so that both of his hands gripped James' hips. He was slow at first, unsure of how Regulus would handle his size, but grew more confident when Regulus moaned around his cock. Soon, the pace was unrelenting and Regulus felt his eyes watering, tears streaming down his face. Spit ran down his chin and he found that he didn't care at all. He dug his fingers into James' hips, hoping to leave bruises. Evidence that he had James, if only for a little while. He barely had any room to breathe between the strokes as James continued to thrust into him, focused entirely on his own pleasure.

Before he knew it, James pulled himself out of Regulus’ mouth. He bent down to wipe the spit off of Regulus' chin with his thumb then languidly sucked at it before pressing the pad of his thumb against Regulus' bottom lip. Regulus swiped his tongue out and caught James' thumb in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around the digit. James smirked, pulling his thumb away and wiped at the tracks of tears on Regulus' face with his thumbs. Regulus whined a needy sound at feeling so empty, rubbing his thighs together in hopes that any form of friction would bring him relief. James leaned in to kiss him before pulling Regulus to his feet as he tucked his erection back into his shorts.

“Shh,” James soothed, pushing his hair away from his face and placing soft kisses on his cheeks. “Let me return the favor, c’mon.”

James grabbed his hand and dragged a boneless Regulus to the center of the room. When he got there, he held up one finger, signaling for Regulus to wait a moment. Regulus wanted to pout, but watched as James went to the corner of the room where a stack of folding chairs leaned against the wall. He grabbed one and carried it back to where Regulus stood, opened it up, then pushed Regulus into the seat facing the mirror covered wall. 

Regulus reached his hands out towards James’ hips and tugged him closer, hoping to return to having that beautiful cock in his mouth before James clicked his tongue softly. “I said I was going to return the favor, baby.” James knelt down and looped his fingers under the waistband of Regulus’ sweatpants. “Can I?”

“In front of the mirror?”

“Why not?” James shrugged. “It’s hot. Plus it’s not like there’s anywhere in this room without a mirror. Might as well make good use of it.” James playfully tugged at Regulus' waistband with one hand again as he removed his glasses with the other and set them to the side on the floor. “Are you gonna make me beg or can we continue?”

Regulus nodded as he shifted his hips so James could pull at his baggy sweatpants, then he heard James laugh as he pulled at the baggy shorts underneath his sweatpants revealing yet another pair of shorts, these ones much tighter and shorter. “So many layers,” James huffed. “Why do you need so many layers?” He pulled down the shorts and finally got to Regulus’ underwear. Pulling those down, he unbunched all of the layers of pants from around his ankles and threw them to the side. The cold metal of the folding chair bit into Regulus’ skin as he sat there in just his baggy sweater feeling extremely exposed.

“Keeps the muscles warm in between—” All thoughts of the logistics in layering clothing during ballet were lost as he felt James spreading his legs apart. James bit down on the soft skin of his innermost thigh as he slid his hands up to Regulus’ hips. He allowed James to pull him towards the edge of the seat, tilting his hips up to give James better access. 

Regulus writhed at the first feeling of James’ tongue on him and he let out a shameless moan that echoed around the room. He tilted his head back and allowed his legs to fall open in pure pleasure. James grabbed under his thighs to hike his legs up over his shoulders, giving himself more access as he continued devouring Regulus, licking and sucking at him. When Regulus glanced up, he looked at the two of them in the mirror. Watching James on his knees worshiping his body, he understood immediately why James said it would be hot. He had never seen a sight quite so erotic and between the feeling of James sucking on his most sensitive nerves and the reflection before him, he climaxed hard and fast. His orgasm rippled through him and James reacted by moaning as he pushed his tongue inside him, lapping at his release. 

As he came down from the orgasm, James slowed down and started kissing down his thighs, sucking small bruises along the way. Normally, Regulus would ask his lovers to avoid leaving marks like that, especially since they were so visible in classes, but something about James made him want to be claimed. He wanted people to know they were together, and for a time, be able to say that he belonged to James.

Just when he felt like he was coming back into his body, James pushed two fingers inside him and curled them up at the perfect angle, hitting the sensitive walls inside his body. Regulus felt his entire body jolt with pleasure as James’ tongue returned to between his thighs, circling the sensitive nerves and flicking in time with his fingers. 

“Fuck,” Regulus whined, feeling his body climbing rapidly towards another orgasm.

James pulled back to gaze up at him, his fingers continuing at a punishing pace. “I know you can cum for me again, baby. Show me what a pretty boy you are while you cum on my fingers.” He bit into his leg just above his knee and sucked a bruise, watching his fingers pumping in and out of Regulus’ body. His orgasm crashed through his body again and James moaned at the sight, dipping his head between his legs again and giving him one languid lick before pulling back and smiling up at Regulus. He sucked on his fingers and made a show of licking off every drop, giving Regulus a visual reminder of how skilled he was with that tongue.

“Think you can go again?” James asked from between his legs. Regulus had no doubt in his mind that if he said yes, the man would sit between his thighs all night long, and maybe if they hooked up again he’d get the opportunity to experience it, but for now he really wanted to know what he felt like buried deep inside him.

Regulus shook his head and pulled off his oversized sweater, then the white tee underneath until he was sitting in the middle of the room, fully exposed. “Your turn, you have a criminal amount of clothing on your body.”

James barked a laugh and practically ripped off his clothes as he stood. He grabbed Regulus’ hand and hoisted him to his feet, pulling him in close to his naked body. The feeling of their bare skin brushing against each other was enough to set Regulus’ overstimulated nerves alight. He moaned as he leaned in for a kiss, tasting a heady combination of the two of them on James’ lips.

“I’m going to grab the condom,” James said against Regulus’ lips, his breath hot. He kissed down Regulus’ jaw and neck before he continued. “Go stand facing the mirror for me.”

“I—”

“If you don’t want me to take control, tell me now sweetheart.” James said softly. He placed a quick peck against his lips. “Otherwise, I’m going to get a little bossy from here on out.”

Regulus nodded, then moved to stand facing the mirror while James dug through their discarded clothes for the condom Regulus had found earlier. When he returned, James stood behind him and gently grasped at his jaw, ensuring they made eye contact through the mirror.

“Familiar with the traffic light color system?”

Regulus nodded again and James clicked his tongue. “I’m going to need verbal confirmation here, baby.”

“Yes.” 

“Good, so if you want me to stop immediately you say?”

“Red,” Regulus answered without hesitation.

“And if I check in and you’re enjoying yourself?”

“Green.”

“Good boy. Last one, then we can continue. If you need to pause or something doesn’t feel right?”

“Yellow.”

James kissed his neck from where he stood behind him and smiled. “Very good. Now, hands against the glass for me. And they’re not allowed to move at all. Your pretty little ass will get a beating if they do. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes… Sir?”

James clicked his tongue and Regulus could tell that he was disappointed. "Come now, you can do better than that."

Regulus wracked his brain searching for whatever it was that James was asking. Finally, it came to him after he reflected on all the times James had called him 'baby' and a 'good boy.'

"Yes, Daddy."

James let out a groan at that, moving his hand down from Regulus’ jaw to his throat and squeezing slightly. Regulus keened and pushed his hips back towards James, searching for friction. 

“Fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me,” James said as he pulled back and ripped at the condom wrapper. Regulus whined at the loss of the hand around his throat and turned around. He draped his arms around James' shoulders and sought out his lips for a kiss.

With the condom not fully unwrapped, James froze and gripped Regulus’ throat, stopping him from the kiss he was seeking. “What did I say, baby?”

“Oh, please.” Regulus scoffed when James loosened his grip just enough to allow him to reply. “We hadn’t even started yet.”

James’ eyes darkened at that. “Did I or did I not tell you that if you moved your hands from the mirror, you’d be punished?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do you want to push me to find out how serious I am?” At the silence hanging between them, James smirked. “Now, turn around. Hands on the mirror. I’m going to spank you five times and you’re going to count out each one, thanking me for every one. If you stop counting or lose your manners, you’ll earn five more. Understand?”

“Yes.” Regulus followed his instructions, placing his hands on the cold mirror and breathing as evenly as he could.

“Yes what?” James kneaded his ass, making him even more sensitive to the touch.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good boy. Color?”

“Green.”

James hummed in acknowledgement before his hand slapped Regulus’ ass. Regulus let out a surprised yelp. 

“Count, baby. I won’t remind you again.”

“One,” Regulus cried out. “Thank you, Daddy.”

James’ hand smacked down again, the sound echoing in the room, and Regulus gasped at the shock of pain that rippled through his body. “Two. Thank you, Daddy.” Regulus looked up into the mirror, taking in James’ hungry face. 

“Maybe you can be trained, baby. Three more. You’re doing so good.”

With each slap to his ass, Regulus became more sensitive and felt himself slipping into a hazy headspace where everything felt like pure pleasure shooting to every nerve in his body. When he finally reached number five, James dropped to his knees behind him and rubbed at his cheeks before pulling them apart and licking all the way from his sensitive nerves to his ass. He circled the ring of muscle with his tongue and pushed in slightly.

“Fuck,” James breathed hot against him. “You did so good, baby. You’re fucking dripping for me. Have you learned your lesson? Will you be a good boy and let me fuck you now?”

Regulus nodded, a whine escaping his throat that he would normally feel embarrassed about.

“Words, baby.”

“Yeah— Yes, please. Please fuck me, Daddy. I need your cock inside me.”

James bit into one cheek of his ass before he stood up, grabbing the condom and rolling it on. “Anything for you,” James murmured as he lined himself up with Regulus’ entrance. They made eye contact in the mirror as James pushed in slowly, using both hands to grip onto Regulus’ hips and position him perfectly. “Color?”

“Green. Fuck, so fucking green.”

Finally, James moved his hips. Regulus had never been a religious man, but he swore that he found a new religion at the feeling of James inside him. James moved his hips in purposeful, deep thrusts, making Regulus see stars with each shift inside him. Regulus’ eyes closed and his head tilted back as he relished in the sensation until he felt a strong hand on his jaw. The grip was unyielding and Regulus knew that he’d do whatever the man this hand belonged to said.

“Eyes on me, baby,” James purred. “I want you to watch me ruin you for anyone else.”

Regulus cried out a moan and opened his eyes, taking in their bodies in the mirror. His hot breath fogged the mirror in front of him as James pounded into him from behind, both of them glistening with sweat. James’ face was smug as he continued to hold onto Regulus’ jaw, not offering him any way of avoiding watching their bodies. 

James’ pace started to slow, but he somehow managed to make it feel like he was impossibly deeper inside Regulus’ body. He snaked a hand down towards the bundle of nerves between Regulus’ legs and rubbed in confident circles, pushing Regulus closer and closer to the edge. Just when he thought he couldn’t possibly experience more pleasure than he was already tasting, James’ hand slid down from his jaw to his throat and squeezed. The restriction of blood flow to his brain made Regulus feel fuzzy as he dissolved into pure pleasure. His knees buckled and he arched his back, pushing his ass into James’ hips as his orgasm washed over him. A moment later, James let out a moan and Regulus felt him pulsing inside of him as he followed him over the edge.

James ghosted his fingers along the side of Regulus’ neck as they rode out the last of their orgasms and he kissed his shoulder. When he pulled out, he took off the condom and tied it off, then walked over to toss it in the trash can next to the door. Regulus turned to lean against the mirror, watching James stride back towards him. Regulus gave him a weak, hazy smile.

“You okay?” James asked. He placed a quick peck on Regulus’ lips and rubbed soothing circles on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I—” James interrupted him by kissing him again. “I thought you said this was a one-time thing?” Regulus questioned.

“That doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like shit, Regulus.”

Regulus gave him a flat look before he pushed off the mirror and walked to where his clothes were piled on the ground. He started pulling on his many layers and by the time he was fully dressed again, he glanced over to see James standing watching him, still completely nude. Regulus bent over to grab his glasses on the floor and handed them to him. “What?” Regulus asked.

James pushed his glasses on his face and for the first time, Regulus witnessed a flustered James. “Look, I know what I said, but can I have your number anyway?”

“I won’t be your late night, drunk booty call, James.”

“I just…this was a lot of fun. It’d be nice to do it again sometime, that’s all.”

“So, a sober booty call?”

“No, I—”

“Listen, how about you give me your number? If I’m ever feeling like having you boss me around again, I’ll give you a call. How’s that?” Regulus raised an eyebrow as he pulled his cell out of his sweatpants pocket and held it out to James in offering.

James hesitated to take the phone from his hand, clearly playing a game of mental chess on how to obtain Regulus’ number, but Regulus refused to be a pawn in his games. “This is my only offer, it expires once your pants are on. Take it or leave it.”

Sighing, James grabbed his phone and created a new contact with his phone number, then handed it back to Regulus.

“‘Daddy,’ really? You seriously put your name as ‘Daddy’ in my phone?”

James smirked, then began dressing himself. “I figured you’d remember me that way.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, but internally he might as well have been giggling and kicking his feet. He stepped forward and placed a chaste kiss on James’ cheek. “I’ll consider calling you, Daddy,” he said and then he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Clean the mirror and take that trash bag out with you, yeah? I can’t have my teacher finding out about this.”

“You got it, baby.”

As Regulus walked out of the studio, he thought to himself that he should absolutely not call James again. He made a bargain with himself anyway that if he was still thinking about him in a few months, he’d gladly fall back into that man’s arms again.

[srslyblvck]

run away, regulus black

pairing: regulus black x fem!reader

synopsis: regulus runs away from home, to come to you for help.

genre: angst, hurt comfort

warnings: slight mentions of abuse from family

word count: 1.4k

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TWO YEARS HAD PASSED, but it still felt like a secret. No one knew how it happened. How a pureblood Slytherin like Regulus Black could ever be with someone like you, a muggle-born Ravenclaw. You weren’t supposed to fit, and yet, here you were, bound together by something that defied reason. You were opposites, in every way the world deemed important. But there was a quiet understanding between you, one that no one else could touch.

In all those two years, there were no grand displays of affection. No hand-holding in the hallways or stolen kisses in dark corners. Regulus was far too cautious for that. The fear of discovery hung over him like a dark cloud, ever-present, and you understood that. He had confided in you about the constant pressure, the expectations his family held him to, the abuse that lurked behind the closed doors of Grimmauld Place. You had never pushed him, never demanded more than he could give.

Sometimes, you longed for the warmth of his arms around you, to feel his hand brush against yours, even if just by accident. But you didn’t ask. You never would. You knew better than to make him choose between his feelings for you and the suffocating obligations of his family. And that, perhaps, was what Regulus admired most about you—your ability to understand him in a way no one else did.

It wasn’t easy, though. The distance could be unbearable, especially on days when he seemed lost, his eyes heavy with something darker than he would ever speak aloud. You saw through it all, the brave front, the cold exterior he wore so well. You saw him when he was vulnerable, and when he allowed himself to break, it was only ever in front of you.

In those two years, you had come to understand Regulus in a way that no one else did. You saw beyond the cold exterior, the aloofness that he wore like armor. You knew the boy who was burdened by his family’s expectations, who carried the weight of being the “good” son while his brother Sirius had run off to live a life of defiance and freedom. You were there when Sirius left, and you remembered the look on Regulus’s face when he returned to school after the holidays—hollow, broken, and lost.

He had cried that day, something you had never seen him do before. Regulus wasn’t the type to show vulnerability, but with you, he didn’t have to pretend. He had crumbled in your arms, his tears soaking into your robes as he choked out the words: “He left me. He just…left.”

You had been so angry at Sirius for abandoning his brother, for leaving Regulus to bear the brunt of their parents’ wrath alone. The anger had simmered within you, threatening to boil over, but Regulus had stopped you when you vowed to confront his brother. “Don’t,” he had whispered, his voice raw from crying. “It won’t change anything.”

You had been with him through his darkest days, through moments of pain and uncertainty. Regulus never asked for help, but you always offered it. When he couldn’t face the reality of his family, you told him that if he ever needed a place to go—whether it was for a night or forever—your door was always open. Your parents were rarely home, and even when they were, they wouldn’t mind him staying.

He never took you up on the offer. At least, not until tonight.

As the rain continued to pour, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. You were alone in the house, your parents away as usual, and the storm outside only added to your unease. When your guard appeared, soaked from the rain, and informed you of a visitor at the door, you were confused. Who would come to see you at this hour, in this weather?

You stood, pulling your robe tighter around you, and made your way to the door. When you opened it, the sight that greeted you made your heart drop.

Regulus stood there, drenched to the bone, his usually pristine appearance a complete mess. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead, water dripping down his face, and his eyes—those beautiful, haunted eyes—were filled with something you couldn’t quite place. Desperation? Fear? Both?

In one hand, he held his broom, and in the other, his trunk. He looked as if he had flown through the storm, driven by something far stronger than the weather.

He didn’t say a word, just stood there, soaked and shivering, staring at you as if you were the only thing tethering him to reality.

“Regulus,” you breathed, stepping aside to let him in, your mind racing as you tried to understand why he was here, like this.

He stepped into the warmth of your home, but he didn’t speak right away. Instead, he set his trunk down and leaned his broom against the wall before turning to you. His expression was one of someone who had just barely escaped something terrible, and it made your heart clench in your chest.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t stay there anymore.”

You reached out, your hand brushing against his cold, wet cheek, and he closed his eyes at the contact, leaning into your touch. “You’re always welcome here,” you told him softly, your own voice trembling with the weight of the moment. “You can stay as long as you need.”

His eyes opened again, and you could see the gratitude there, but also the pain. The same pain you had seen so many times before, only now it seemed deeper, more ingrained. You wanted to ask him what had happened, what had driven him to your doorstep in the middle of the night, but you knew he would tell you when he was ready.

Instead, you took his hand and led him further into the house, away from the door and the storm outside. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I’ll get you something warm to drink.”

He nodded, silent and weary, and you felt a pang of sorrow for the boy who had been forced to grow up too fast, who had been burdened with too much. As you helped him out of his soaked cloak and led him to the bathroom to dry off, you couldn’t help but wonder what it was that had finally pushed him to leave the Black household.

When he emerged from the bathroom, dressed in one of your father’s old sweaters and a pair of flannel pants that were far too big for him, he looked almost like a child again, vulnerable and lost. You handed him a steaming cup of tea and guided him to the couch, where he sat beside you, silent and shivering slightly despite the warmth of the room.

You didn’t press him for answers, knowing that he would speak when he was ready. Instead, you sat there with him, your presence a silent comfort as the storm continued to rage outside. And when he finally spoke, his voice was so quiet that you almost didn’t hear him.

“They wanted me to take the Mark,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on the cup in his hands. “They said it was time.”

“I couldn’t do it,” he continued, his voice trembling. “I couldn’t become one of them. So I left.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you reached out to take his hand, squeezing it tightly. “You did the right thing,” you told him, your voice thick with emotion. “You’re not like them, Regulus. You’re better than them.”

He looked up at you then, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and for a moment, he seemed like he was going to break. But instead, he leaned into you, resting his head on your shoulder as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close.

The rain continued to fall outside, but inside, there was a quiet peace, a sense of safety that you knew Regulus hadn’t felt in a long time. And as you sat there together, you knew that no matter what happened next, you would be there for him, just as you always had been.

Because you loved him, and nothing—no dark mark, no family expectations, no storm—could ever change that.

[theprongspotter]

Terrify - Jegulus - @stag-microfic - Day 12 - 767 words

Regulus is nestled up against his husband’s side on the couch, flipping through Les Misérables. The book’s well-worn pages speak to the many times it has been read, each word a comfort to Regulus as he gets lost in the story. James sits beside him, gently combing his fingers through Regulus’ soft curls, humming along quietly to the classical music playing in the background. The warmth of the fire crackles in the hearth, casting a golden glow over the room, but James still pulls the fluffy blanket tighter around them, savoring the closeness.

“Papa? Dad?”

The soft voice interrupts the tranquility. Regulus remains calm, his eyes still on the page, but James jumps slightly, startled by the sudden sound. He looks up to see Harry standing in the doorway to the living room, his small figure illuminated by the flickering firelight. Harry’s eyes are glassy with unshed tears, and his hair sticks up wildly, more unruly than usual. It takes an awful lot to terrify their brave little boy, and the sight of him so shaken tugs at James’ heart.

“What’s wrong, Haz?” James asks gently, standing up from the couch. Regulus bookmarks his page with a thoughtful frown, setting the book aside as he watches the scene unfold.

Harry walks slowly to James, who bends down to pick him up, cradling him close. “I had a bad dream again,” Harry whispers, his voice trembling slightly.

James places a tender kiss on Harry’s temple, his heart aching for his son. “Do you want to talk about it, beta?” he asks softly.

Harry shakes his head, burying his face in James’ shoulder. “No.”

“That’s alright,” James murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on Harry’s back. “What would you like, then?”

Harry lifts his head, his gaze shifting to Regulus, who stands up and crosses the room to them. Without hesitation, Harry reaches out for him, and Regulus grins, his heart swelling with love as he takes Harry into his arms. Harry clings to him, burying his face in Regulus’ neck, seeking comfort in the familiar scent of his dad. James smiles at the sight, his heart swelling with pride.

“Dad, will you sing to me?” Harry asks quietly, his voice muffled against Regulus’ shoulder.

“Hmm, I don’t know…” Regulus teases, pretending to ponder the request, though he already knows the answer.

Harry pulls back slightly, giving Regulus the best puppy eyes he can muster. His bottom lip sticks out in a perfect pout, so reminiscent of Sirius that James has to bite his lip to stifle a laugh. “Please? Pretty please?”

Regulus can’t resist the pleading look. His smile widens, full of warmth and affection. “Yes, Harry, of course I’ll sing to you.”

“Yay! Thanks, Dad!” Harry cheers, his face lighting up with a bright grin as he throws his arms around Regulus’ neck.

Regulus’ smile softens as he carries Harry back to his room, James following close behind, his heart full at the sight of his family. Once they reach the room, Regulus gently sets Harry down on his bed, letting him get comfortable under the covers. The soft light of the bedside lamp casts a warm glow over the room, making it feel even cozier.

Harry looks up at Regulus and points to a spot on the bed. “Sit,” he orders, his tone firm but full of trust.

Regulus chuckles at the command but obliges, sitting beside his son. James leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching with a fond smile as Regulus brushes a hand through Harry’s messy hair, just as James had done minutes before. Harry nuzzles into the touch, his eyes drooping as he finds comfort in the warmth of his dad’s hand.

Clearing his throat softly, Regulus begins to sing Hymne à l’amour. His voice is soft and soothing, filling the room with the beautiful melody. Harry’s eyes flutter closed as the familiar song wraps around him like a warm blanket, his breathing slowing and evening out as he drifts off to sleep, feeling safe and loved.

When Regulus finishes the song, he stays still for a moment, watching Harry’s peaceful expression before quietly getting up from the bed. He moves carefully, not wanting to disturb his son’s sleep. As he reaches the doorway, James pulls him into a gentle hug, whispering, “That was beautiful, my love.”

Regulus smiles, his heart full, and pulls James into a tender kiss, the warmth of their love filling the room, a quiet promise that they will always protect their little family, no matter what terrors may come.