#what have you done drunk me
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Guess how many AirPods I have???
Did u guess? The answer is four.
Four pairs? HA no I am not that rich.
Four individuals? Yes yes.
So.. two pairs? FALSE! Again..
I have one left AirPods and three right.
Yes.
My pair, my backup and the reject.
#airpods#apple#lore dump#my life lore??#I simply lose things#i simply cannot#find the others😔#where are they#where#I lost one of them drunk..#drunk me#what have you done drunk me
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Chat have we discussed drunk chess with cherik cause i just think. That would be the darnedest silliest thing they could do
#xmen#xmen first class#xmen dofp#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#sorry still thinking about dofp and i reminded myself of the plane scene#the idea of drunk chess sounds so stupid fun i wish i could play drunk chess#‘snap how do you play drunk chess’ simple !!!! every piece you lose you take a shot#anyway i think itd be silly …….#id like to do something with that idea but i still have to decide on execution#omg xmen fandom hasnt seen my twelve million ‘i wanna draw this so bad’ tags yet#but yeah i sy tht a lot </3 so many things i wanna draw all the time#either that or write …. but i draw more#i love comic makin. and i blame these damned comics for gettin me into it what tha hell !!!#ok im done rambling i wish i had more to say but i dont#i lied i do. this doesnt have to be after erik apologizes on the plane this could be lit any damn time they play#i just live for the progression of them Trying to play semi seriously for a solid twenty minutes before they lose it#and now they wont stop giggling and being stupid asses#theyre still trying to play but ‘trying’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting#imagine it with me chat … itd be so beautiful i could cry frankly#ok my classes are done for today im gonna sit in my room and think of cherik#maybe ill TRY to draw this … if not then def somethin at least
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#she’s the best characterization I’ve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because that’s what you’re told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because it’s not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole ‘gifted kid jinx’ thing (not me but ya’ll do you) but ya’ll—#YA’LL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VI—#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but I’ll expand on it later ‘cause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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I fear Kevin Day is the type of person whose struggle always came second. He funcioned enough that while everyone knew he wasn't alright, it was also nobody's problem, as someone else was actively having a harder time and they took precedence. He internalises all his problems and keeps going and going but he is fueled by alchool and sheer desperation a 100% of the time. If he were to stop for even a second he wouldn't know how to start again.
Did he ever, at somepoint in his life -away from the ex foxes, a pro player, married to Thea- wish he had it worse, just so that maybe it would have been his turn being saved? Being first? How badly would he feel, just one second after thinking it, because he knows damn well he has enough trauma to fill a stadium and he isn't actually jealous of his friends that had it worse, he isn't . That's a fucked up thing to think, stop it, stop it.
Would he still drink himself into a stupor to shoote the ache, to banish the thought? That's the help he got, when he was at his worst, a drink, and then two, and then a thousand. And it worked, it made him go, it picked him up when he was down, and now he can't get down without crashing.
Did he wish to be saved? Did he hope somebody, anybody, took the time and put in the effort to help him, just because they saw him down, not because he begged, but because they noticed he could use a hand. Or two, actually. Was it torment, to always be under the spotlight, yet never been seen? Did he run toward fame hoping the more eyes on him meant it would be easier to be noticed?
#this spurred from a series of posts about kevin always fumbling the men in his life#and yeah. he really is always second place#he supposedly ends up with thea which. what the fuck.#to me that alone speaks volumes about how out of everyone in aftg he is the one that starts and end basically at the same level of struggle#this is also about the part in the EC where he talks to wymack about Bee#and look i love bee and Andrews’s relationship he really does deserve her#but kevin is right to say that she is his and he can't have her#they text each other#kevin needs and deserves to have his own therapist#someone that is his alone#it breaks my heart to think about this boy#he wont even ask for it#he says: she's Andrew's#and that's it to him#it is true and unchangeable and nothing can be done ablut it#and never thinks okay maybe someone else could be to me what she is to him#and no one else says it either#im sleep deprived this is killing me i had to get it out#kevin day#you deserve the world#nobody even wanted to listen to you talk about history#you are easier to deal with when drunk#you don't have to words nor will to fight them on either of these fronts#you ask once and when you are denied you neverask again dont you#aftg#these are the types of people that end up killing themselves and everyone is surprised at first and then goes...oh yeah he had a hard time#but we couldn't imagine it was that bad#we wish he told us
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i would've loved zayne's card 64729x times more if he wasn't drunk
#look drunk confessions and decisions can add so much fun to a story when done right imo#personally i just think it's SO much hotter if an always composed character like zayne snaps out of it from sheer despair#like. chiping away from his composure painfully slow. over the span of months years lifetimes you get it.#really grinding him down with the littlest things. making him twist in agony from barely contained desire#idk i'm not a zayne girlie so ignore me if you are. not trying to shit talk your mans here 🤚#the scene was very hot alright. the glasses okay yeah. i giggled and gasped. maybe i rewatched it 5 times so what#just think it would've been one thousand times hotter if he snapped while sober and not from eating one (1) liquor chocolate lmao#but again. not a zayne girlie. have mercy with me. just had a little “huh” moment today while playing#gonna go back to rafayel and sylus now. don't come after me 👁️👁️#-`♡´- tulip mail
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I think Google might have missed a history lesson. Or ten.
#merica#american flag#google gone wrong#funny#funny to me#go home google you're drunk#what happened#the british are coming#apparently#???#i am so confused#how#how have you done this?#someone needs to be fired#i don't know who#nor do i care#it possibly may have been ai#ai needs to be fired#google#work with me#that is NOT the american flag
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Does it piss anyone else off that barely anyone holds garmadon accountable for his actions and then they give people crap for being upset with him after he's hurt them
#thinking of lloyd in crystalised and wu in toe.#like.#how dare they be upset.#im sorry but 'youre no sensei and you never have been' is NOTHING compared to what garmadon did are you SERIOUS#youre like the teacher snapping at me.for telling a girl in high school not to spa#speak to me like im five lmao#jesus christ#'it wasnt his fault 🥺🥺🥺' doesn't matter#stuff still happened. people still got hurt.#and theyre ALLOWED to feel hurt goddammit#real 'you cant blame them they were drunk' vibes here ngl#its funny cause even garmadon acknowledges he did those things.and takes responsibility for them#which is. why he sacrificed.himself to sabe everyone#because he knew he couldnt make up for all the bad he had done but at least he could do this#jelp save everuone and right a wrong of the past in the process#but noooo nothing is his fault and wu is awful.for being upset that he stole his letter broke his trust and lied to misako#im really.#tired of this fandom sometimes#shout out to garmadon fans who actuqllu hold him accountable for what he did youre the only ones that dont drive me up a wall 👍
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dont watch white collar unless you want to be systematically dapperized at once. man i'm used to be normie-to-casual-butch. now im like okay how soon can i get some loafers to replace my sweaty old navy moccasins and how do i know when a vest fits they're fucking. dandyfying me
#okay i DO have occasional forays into femme as a dressyup kind of thing#but my general day to day is jeans. whatever shoes aren't covered in grass or mud. tshirt. done#and now im like. what IF i wore ties to work. what IF#i wouldnt. thats ridiculous. i work at a public library and my boss is obsessed with *community outreach* so if i started wearing ties#he would absolutely give me job duties i am not trained for and do not want on the basis of if you look fancy you can talk to the mayor#but . im wine drunk and enjoying the vision of me as a dapper guy all of a sudden#q
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#tw vent#ew yucky vent lmaoo#Love waking up in the morning to my dad#drunk#being accused of things making cry 5 times and hyperventilating when he hells at me for#crying#and saying should be grateful I have a dad#also love how he admitted to me he was shit#i defended him#he told me to stop and he could tell i was lying and that i hate him ( i dont) then later hes said the same thing#(didnt defend him that time) and he got super mad at me for not defending him and called me a bad daughter#he told me he could change if he wanted to but he doesn’t think there's anything to change#he's literally such a narcissistic it's insane#that day was wild#cried 6 times had a panic attack and relapsed after month crazy ass day#what do you mean you could've took me away to Albania without my mother and raised me like a Hitler but you didn’t because you're a good da#he was fine the next day though so idek i feel like i can't complain i feel like such a baby#he's like all you need to raise kids with is love i don't do anything for you guys (me and my brother) i don't know anything about you guys#but i loved you and look how you turned out! (my mother's doing love her shes the best) but also like saying u love me and then yelling at#me and mot caring about my life or putting in effort for me has given me a fucked up idea of what love is#and i also have no idea how to differentiate a good person and a bad person#so thats great lmaoo#i have hope though my mom is amazing a he's not that bad tbh he's gonna give me a really messed up view of trust ik cause i already have it#but it's okay lol I'll fix it all and it'll all be fine I'm still young and optimistic#forgot this also not to shit talk but why are you threatening your daughter if she breaks up you and your girlfriend?? when shes hasn't#done anything to indicate that she wants that in any way? why is it my job to save the relationship you messed up 💀#anyway bye lol peace :3
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i had a conversation yesterday about hpv and the gardasil vaccine with a colleague that's a couple years older than me after learning that a colleague might have cervical cancer. i told him how lucky my sister and i had been to have parents who were super open about sex education and health. some of our friends didn't have that chance, that led us to get plan b for some, get them tested for stds or even our mom driving one to the hospital for an abortion. anyway, he told me that his parents and his family never ever would have talked about it because of religion and how they think they shouldn't have these discussions. it's wild to me that people are willing to have kids but won't protect them by having a couple of uncomfortable talks with them. whatever happens kids will be kids, they'll grow and have their first experiences if you want it or not. you can just try to make it so that when the time comes they're as safe and prepared as possible. who cares if that's uncomfortable? against your values? do you think children always respect the parents' values? lol no! they'll do everything behind their backs and put themselves in even more danger. if they don't want to have talks about sex condoms stds and consent then get a younger uncle to do it or something idk. it's your duty to educate and keep your children safe.
#i don't want kids for a lot of reasons but if i learned something bc of what my sister put our family through#is that kids do stupid shit whatever you do if they've decided to do it they will#just make them safe#and do everything to keep their trust#at least i hope im gonna be a good aunt#same thing for picking kids up#i knew that anywhere at any time no matter what id done drunk or taken i could call my parents and they'd come pick me up#no matter what#my sister had to call my parents once she was drunk out of her mind at one of her bf's friends' neighbour house#and they guy was really drunk and started playing with a chainsaw#before that he had insisted on showing where the bathroom was to her and she was freaking out#her bf was also super drunk neither could drive#my parents drove 40km at 3am to go pick them up#and that was a couple of years ago when they were already adults#if there's anything i don't want to mess up is telling my nieces and nephew that no matter what when or where they can call and i'll come#no questions asked nothing#kids need to have adults they can trust and that won't scream or punish them#this was a late night saturday ramble#good night
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so weird how everyone lies to you when they think you’re beautiful
#a bit drunk so bare w me but actually crazy how people just saw whatever to flatter you when they think you’re pretty#not that I’m stunning but I’m a young girl in a group of 40-50 year old men and I know what the vibe is and they all told me I was a great#dancer when I know for a fact this is the worse I’ve ever done and there’s no way on earth if I was someone they found unattractive would#they say that to me#I know it sounds self centered and believe me I’m the last person. to think I have pretty privilege but just like damn make it less obvious#anyways#delete later
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. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying
#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too#i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as#a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done#putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning#this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks#everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from#recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's#science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said#and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life#breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful#things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to#restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of#this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the#except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you#have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him#and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met.#tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most#extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going.#you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another#phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts.#i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know.#i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied.#you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up#i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.
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this is legit the dumbest line of thinking but i kinda feel like i failed as a teenager for i guess not doing most things other people did as teens. or just in high school. like date, go to parties, do drvgs, have s*x, .. of course not everyone has done these things either and at least a couple are probably way less common than i think they are. i gather these things from friends and things i overheard at my own middle and high schools and reading other people's experiences when they were teenagers. but like i feel like i failed somewhere along the way for not doing any of these things due to lack of interest or finding some of it wrong. and now im almost 19, still havent done any of these things, im an adult and starting off as a failure. at least thats what it feels like
#kind of a vent#this feels like a stereotypical line of thinking too even though i dont mean it to be#i didnt do anything like hanging out with friends that much either. only at lunch but that was really it unless we had a class together#<- extremely rare#talking to online friends a year or 2 younger than me rn have talked about having gone to parties done drvgs gotten drunk.#even my parents did that stuff but i didnt#idk this is what my brain has decided ill be upset about this afternoon#of course these things aren't like 'you MUST do these things as a teenager' but so many people i know *have*#so like. did i mess up somewhere or. can i even redeem myself as an adult or am i just fucked#i always follow the rules and now im upset about it wah. everyone else has broken them so what is my excuse
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Sol Badguy became a parasite in my brain when he made a bunch of stupid analogies that didn't make any sense that everyone else was too polite to ask for clarification on because I do that too. My brain will make a comparison that makes sense to no one else but me and I have to file an executive order to keep it from coming out of my mouth before I come up with something that's actually coherent first
#textpost#I both understand entirely and have not a single goddamn clue what he was on about with that shards of glass thing in Xrd#In the whiskey drunk recycled walk animation 6p window punch Ramlethal scene#He just spews out nonsense and is like 'My work here is done. You now have all the information you need'#Like uh no get your ass back here#Actually the worst Sol Badguy thing is that I had a Back to the Future phase so 'that's heavy' became a permanent part of my lexicon#YEARS before I got into Guilty Gear btw. Literal ages#I have had to make a conscious effort to not say it lmfao It feels like that 'say the line bart' meme when I say it#....I do still say it though....#If Sol Badguy ever says 'groovy' Ash Williams style I'm going to throw up. He can't take another 1980s movie quote from me#I opened up the documents to work on the GGCA 08 manuscript but I keep goofin off and doing whatever this is instead rofl
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boy i love getting tipsy and then drunk and gushing about my special interest to people who cannot possibly care about this even half as much as i do and being deeply annoying and embarrassing myself and wanting to crawl into a hole once the harsh light of sobriety hits
#like i cannot stress enough that i want to die right now#it's not a physical hangover it's a mental hangover. a ''why am i incapable of shutting the fuck up'' hangover.#i become so deeply annoying when drunk that i should not be allowed to use my phone#i turn into the goddamned boom de yada commercial and inflict it on everyone in range#like i go off about the discworld series a LOT#one time at a party i cornered two guys who had no science background and tried to explain how avogadro's number was found#i gush about fullmetal alchemist or the story structure of everything everywhere all at once#i cry over interstellar or the cosmos series#my friends and family back home all already know this and give me their ''sure thing sarah now let's get you to bed'' looks#too few people here have been exposed to this to yet know how to stop it#eta: i should also stress that when i discovered that said guys did not know what vsepr theory was my reaction was not to stop#it was to get a piece of paper and start explaining lewis dot structures#eta again: you know after considering this long-standing history of doing this i feel paradoxically less embarrassed#like it will be very funny to explain the avogadro's number story and all the things i have done this about#like look i'm sorry i hit you with my special interest gushing but i have done this many times before to many people#the ''drunk!sarah highbeams of random essays and lectures'' is well-established and tbh kind of a rite of passage at this point
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so the coworker i went on the trip with asked me if i am mad and i said a bit and she said oh you'll get over it soon
#i would say... i don't think you know me very well at all.....#having to babysit a drunk person is absolutely fine for me#but not when the drunk person is also prone to violence and picking fights#and being openly racist on a bus and also disrespectful to strippers#so yea im.... done i have absolutely no desire to be friends with her#which might be awkward since we have to work together every day#and she's still under the impression that im forgiving#i couldn't lay it on her while we were still out of the country bc she was also just unstable and would have just stayed there#and done god knows what#so i got her home#but god i am fuming
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