#what drink am I?

[hinamie]

post-graduation trip airport looks

[scribefindegil]

When you encounter a person who does not do something that you consider normative, you need to understand that they could be either stating a barrier or expressing a boundary. A barrier is "I would like to partake of the normative activity, but I can't due to other factors." A boundary is "I have made a decision not to participate in the normative activity."

Many people do not believe that boundaries actually exist! This is why it's so common to give a clear "No" on an issue and get inundated with people saying "But have you tried-" They can't conceptualize that anyone might actually want to avoid X thing, so they assume that you totally want to do X and you would love X so much if only they could figure out a way around whatever pesky obstacle is getting in your way. But humanity contains multitudes, and for any given experience you consider vital for happiness I promise there are people who are Just Not Interested.

If someone is stating a boundary, do NOT talk about how sad their life must be, and do NOT try to push them! Just accept that their life experience is very different from your own, and isn't that a beautiful thing?

Barriers are different. Barriers suck. With boundaries, the only problem is other people being dicks. With barriers, the problem is the barrier itself . . . and probably, additionally, people being dicks. There's really not a way to win in the people being dicks department when you don't do something that other people have decided is Necessary For Humaning.

If someone is talking about a barrier they face, still don't talk about how sad their life must be, although it's fine to commiserate with a friend if they're complaining. It's hard! Some barriers are pretty insurmountable; the person might not ever get to do X even though they want to. And a lot of people don't believe that this kind of barrier exists either; we're very much taught that you can do anything if you try hard enough, when that is simply not true. If someone tells you that they can't do something, listen to them and respect that.

The only reason for not doing X that people really acknowledge as real are the surmountable barriers. And these are real, but even in these cases you should always assume that the person knows themself best and not give advice unless they've specifically asked for it. But if they have asked, it's chill to try to brainstorm solutions with them.

As someone who has both things going on, it really sucks that people tend to assume that everything is a) a barrier issue and b) that they personally have the solution to it. Don't do this.

The only way you can tell if something is a boundary or a barrier is to listen to people and believe them.

Example:

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "No thanks . . . I haven't really found anything that I like yet," (barrier, potentially surmountable) it is probably cool to ask them if they're open to trying something new, and if they say yes ask about their tastes to try to find a drink they would enjoy! They might like it or they might not.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I can't, it interacts with my meds," (barrier, insurmountable) you can say, "Aw, that sucks!" and offer them something nonalcoholic.

If you offer someone a drink and they say, "I don't drink," (BOUNDARY) you should give them a mocktail and shut the fuck up.

[squuote]

this was meant for an ask my friend sent about what if stanley wasn't actually stanley's name but tumblr DELETED IT and now i am pissed take this comic from my hands NEOW

[triona-tribblescore]

conversation with a friend went a little like this

[cimicherrychanga]

do NOT approach this guy at the pub they WILL talk about ninja turtles for two hours

[theythemmer]

phinktober day 11: ur fav AU

i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo

(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)

ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3

[eleu22]

Task Force 141’s go to Tesco Meal Deals

the tescos outside my uni is never fucking stocked i want the sandwich on ghosts so bad but that shit is always gone

John Price

- gets water as his drink (criminal)

- gets the mixed nuts as his snack (criminal)

- he’s smart tho he always gets the boujie water because the meal deal price is set

- the wrap is valid

- usually will also grab another snack bc this isn’t enough maybe like a bag of dried mango or some shit (old)

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

- my headcanon continues to live

- the healthy energy shit tastes like ass but he pretends its good

- does not usually shop at tesco, he’s a waitrose boy

- sometimes indulges in the odd crunchie bar but rarely

John “Soap” Mactavish

- horrifying (i love pepperami sm everyone disses me for it bc i pull that shit out in lesson and it stanks)

- protein to the max ig

- the whole meal fucking stinks

- uses gaz’s club card because he’s too lazy to get his own

Simon “Ghost” Riley

- absolutely classic

- everytime he gets it mentions how cost of living prices have made them more expensive

- grenade bars are disgusting but he loves them for some reason (masochism imo)

- the sandwich is the best one they have bc the bread is always so moist its so fucking good

- the monster bc yall saw the ghost monster can we all know

[sunflowersinheaven]

new festive 🌶️ post on my patreon!

[dailycupofcreativitea]

I went to a cafe that prints images on photos and got the blorbo printed 🥹🥹🥹

[moeblob]

Capri Sun... I miss you... (it still exists).

[hinamie]

so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it

insp

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[lilithofpenandbook]

I firmly believe that Snape 1) never believed in blood supremacy 2) was forced into the Death Eaters 3) never hurt a single person and 4) was never truly loyal to Voldemort.

Why?

Because Severus Snape is never the thing everyone thinks he is.

The entire plot of Philosopher's Stone is literally Snape not being what Harry thought he was. And every single time someone thinks he's up to no good, he's not. Even when he murdered Dumbledore and that seemed to be the surest proof of who he was, turns out that was not it at all.

He's never what he seems to be.

So his death eater past probably isn't what it's supposed to be either

[rainybraindays]

Not to be that bitch, but if you're out here still saying Colin never apologized for the whole "I would never court Penelope Featherington" i think you need to maybe actually rewatch episode 1.

He very much does, as soon as he can once hes aware he hurt her. He addresses literally everything Penelope said hurt her about it. He says what he said was cruel and hurtful, he says that hes not embarrassed by her, he tells her hes changed and regrets doing something that hurt her. Its the most genuine apology anyone in this show has given.

How any of you have walked away from that seeing it as a fake apology makes me genuinely question what you think an apology is. Is he meant to fall on his knees crying and begging her to move on? Thats not an apology. Is he supposed to go "I'm sorry I fucked up, you're actually soso cool and so much better than me and everyone else" because thats love bombing.

Colin did it right, he came to her privately, apologized, addressed how he hurt her, reassured her he's not embarrassed of her and views her as his best friend, and said that he'd changed. Thats the correct way to apologize, thats how adults communicate. Everything that happened after that was in response to Penelopes frustration at her inability to be someone viewed as desirable in their society, and Colins want to prove how much he cares about her.

If we want to talk about non-apologies in this show, Colin is far from the first character in that line.

[jadecantcreate]

highly pixelated gricko & torbek doodles ! (yes the trend is dead but i haven’t done it yet so)