#what do you mean this sent but another long post didnt.

[shadow-genesis-yay]

I'm bored so I'll do this lol - Galaxy Steve 🌌

🎉 - Idk uhh a year maybe? We only figured out we were a system when our host at the time (Naeus), felt heavily 'connected' to a character, only to basically see them in their head (i guess?)

💯- 197. God help us. Only like 1? is created/brainmade, ig. the others either split off of another headmate, were a 'fusion' (not the system kind, source thingy) of some that later became their own alters instead of jjst when two specific headmates front and 'fuse' in front, and then like maybe 6 OCs. IDK whats considered created?

🧠- Wasnt intentional. Like 90% sure it was due to either trauma, loneliness, and the universe saying "hey i'd think itd be funny if they became a system" or smth

💭- Our headspace is like a mix of a airline plane interior (the seats), a train like one you can 'live' in, and a ship (specifically cruse) that has small lookin rooms that are actually very big on the inside. Feels almost like a hotel lol. And the front area feels like a control room that changes theme to fit whos 'in control'. We called our system at the time, the Ph4nt0m-F1ight-Voyager system, and the changin space was from our old system name, Fiction Trick System

🌅- No clue. Our first headmate is either gone, was our OC Eilian, or Naeus.

⚖️ - Closest to a power imbalance is just one mf who can destroy the universe in the blink of an eye, to haha possessed car (assuming this is what you mean)

🦄- I dunno. traumagenic? whatever loneliness would be?

🏇- We barely get irl shit done we are the most non functional system /ij

🧬- No clue. (can you tell i suck at this/suck at answering stuff that isnt yes or no/true or false?)

🎭- We switch, and do have different speech patterns and stuff, but mostly mask it. The only really noticable stuff for those outside of us, are different foods we liked/used to like, and dress style

🕯️- Eh, kinda neutral. Some stuff sucks as we get very down when blurry, or when too many people are fronting (even if they arent 'in control')

🗣️- Assuming i know what you mean, we insult the hell out of eachother in headspace or online.

📚- Uhhh none

🎨- I'm hyper and sometimes whats called ditzy, compared to alot of our more serious alters, formal, or 'childish' alters

🌈- Unsure. We only used Simply Plural in June of 2024, and most of us are hosts/get front stuck alot. I'd say Naeus and Entity tho, but now its mostly Entity, as Naeus had alotta traumatic stuff happend that almost made them go dormant (for us ig its just shuttin yourself in your room and never comin out tho)

🕵️- Alot of our system terms are existin ones. I think the only ones we 'coined', are Analyzers and Observers. Observers just observe headspace and can almost be like a gatekeeper. While analyzers are kinda like a defense mechanism thing. They analyze situations and deal with them.

😡- No, but we've had the classic 'omg *factive headmate*, whens *question we dont know*?" for our Youtuber alters like Sb737 and ClownPierce. Like chat you wish we knew when Friend or Foe was back

📋- Yep! Alot of our headmates are from the same source, and we have alot of different things that didnt happen 'in canon' (its pissed alot of ppl off. its funny) I, Galaxy, remember spending time, forgiving and making up with my family, compared to my source counterpart who hates some of their guts/is hated by family/was unintentionally abandoned.

🧑‍🧒- We have like 3 littles, with another one age regressor. They're all children from source or regress due to trauma they have from source.

📺- I dont think so? I forgot what an introject is, + alot of headmates who'd prob be considered introjects dont feel like they are

🍝- I dunno

🌠- Not really. We were already the 'weird kid' so if we talked to ourselves when younger, it wouldnt help

🧱- no idea

🛸- Kinda? One person we did tell but dont think they cared/remembered cus they dont really ask or anything

🧁- A bunch of queers who are either funny block game Minecraft, TRANSFORMERS ROLL OUT, sentient fuckin car, or "whats up guys, today were going to-" (youtubers). Oh and we insult eachother alot

Created plurality ask game

These questions are meant to be answerable by both created systems and mixed-origin created systems.

🎉 - How long have you been a system? How do you define when you became a system?

💯 - How many headmates do you have? Are they all created?

🧠 - Why did you create headmates/create a system? Was it intentional or not?

💭 - Do you have a headspace? What's it like? Did you build it?

🌅 - Who created the others? Who is the first created headmate?

⚖️ - Is there a power imbalance in your system, especially between created and non-created headmates? What's the nature of this imbalance?

🦄 - What's your specific origin? Do you have more than one?

🏇 - Are you currently working on any system skills? What are they?

🧬 - How developed are your created headmates? How do you define this?

🎭 - If you can switch, do you have different mannerisms or speech patterns between headmates? Was this always the case?

🕯️ - How has having a created system impacted your life? Has it been a positive experience or not?

🗣️ - How do you and your headmates communicate? If you are mixed-origin, do you experience interaction with created headmates differently than non-created headmates?

📚 - What methods did you use to develop your headmates? Is there anything that worked particularly well for you?

🎨 - How different are you and your headmates from each other? Has it always been this way?

🌈 - Who's the most common fronter? Has this changed in the past?

🕵️ - What sort of terminology does your system prefer? Do you have any terms you've created for personal use?

😡 - Have you experienced discrimination or bigotry for having created headmates? What happened?

📋 - Do you experience exomemories? Are any of them traumatic?

👨‍👦 - Do you have any littles? Is them being little influenced by your created plurality at all?

📺 - Are any of the created headmates introjects? What kind of introject?

🍝 - Would you say being created origin is important to how your system functions currently? What does this mean to you? Has this changed over time?

🌠 - Do you wish you were plural earlier in life? Mixed origin systems, do you wish your created headmates could have been there earlier?

🧱 - What barriers do you have in your system, such as memory or thought barriers? Did you make them? Did you want them?

🛸 - Does anyone IRL know you're a system?

🧁 - Give me a silly oversimplification of your system and who's in it.

[siffrins-therapist]

🦇 ernrenephandre follow

lordjosephandreispoterianfightme reminded me of THIS batshit ask I got last year, so ofc I now need to inflict it on all my new followers uwu

I'll also go ahead and link my (very correct) meta post about Lady IJK's characterization, and since xe reminded me of this ask, here's Lord's post about why Issue 43.5 should be considered canon, despite what de Plume's forward says. Enjoy!

🫛 howaremysweetiepees follow

[Image description: Screenshot of an anonymous ask sent to ernrenephandretruther that says "Jsyk just BC you're the Savior of Vaugarde, doesn't mean anything you say about The Cursing of Château Castle is canon. Even though de Plume wrote Issue #43.5 with that Thank You in the forward, doesn't mean anything. They just wanted to appease your headcanons about that stupid side character rejoining the team and getting Lady Irene-Janine-Karine all weepy BC you can't handle the complexities of her character!!! I'd say stick to ao3 but if the events of 43.5 are anything to go by you're crab at planning anything, let alone writingg a full meta post or fic. So maybe just stick to your pilgrimage or whatever and spare the rest of us your fangirling." Ernrenephandretruther replies "2/10 anon hate. Too long-winded, de Plume themself says 43.5 is non-canon, and anon, I cannon (sic) stress this enough, I AM NOT MIRABELLE CHEVALIER. I AM LITERALLY MWUDU AND WAS TRAVELING IN KA BUE AND BAKTAN DURING THE FREEZING THERE ARE PICTURES ON MY BLOG, FEATHERS AND THREAD!!! End description]

Didn't like 90% of TCoCC blogs get that copy-pasta last year? Damn, I can't tell if anon's just salty about H. Mirabelle getting a whole-ass book written as a thank-you (FOR SAVING A COUNTRY, WHICH THE AUTHOR LIVES IN, ANON, MAKES CRABBING SENSE TO ME THEY'D WANT TO THANK HER), hated 43.5, or just another Lady IJK white knight who thinks any criticism of her characterization is a direct attack.

🦇 ernrenephandretruther follow

Probably all 3 ngl

🎃 changeoffates follow

Great Change I got the same anon! It's been sitting in my inbox for a year! I am still flabbergasted!!

And jw OP but why's your language set to Poterian?

🦇 ernrenephandretruther follow

Believe me, I'm still confused!

And I'm transferring to university in Poteria so I've been studying the language. I took it in school with Vaugardian but I'm kinda rusty :/ The only reason I know Vaugardian still is cause of ernrenephandre porn LMAO

🧂 lordjosephandreispoterianfightme

Anyone else get this ask since this was posted two days ago???

#fates and wells anon maybe learn to let go or w/e #i dont go here but ist that one of your Change teachings or something? #pretty sure your still going through it and should talk to someone not send out copy-pastas #tbh p sure anon is just a savior mirabelle hater idk why her antis are so fucking annoying #dont you all have anything better to do????

103 Notes

🌠 loop-garou follow

If staff could stop terming me that'd be great

🥐 mysiblinginchange follow

u've literally been posting pictures of squiggles that give everyone a headache????

🌠 loop-garou follow

Skill issue.

382 Notes

☕ hauntedteacup

So was that list where people were trying to figure out which ao3 account belongs to the Savior deleted or...

#cuz i have a theory #dm me if you're interested i don't want to risk getting flagged or something

2 Notes

🎭 anguished-actor follow

Gonna kms that saviorship fic got so popular it was mentioned in the newspaper

🐌snailsforthesnailgod follow

OP don't you live in Ka Bue?

🎭 anguished-actor follow

So you understand my astonishment and horror

🌠 loop-garou follow

Here's the link to the fic for the confused people in the notes :)

🎭 anguished-actor follow

Your never satisfied until my activities page is unusable

🌠 loop-garou follow

You're* :)

#didnt someone print out and bind a bunch of copies of that fic? #and handed them out at cons? #not shocked it got mentioned in the paper ngl #there's even rumors h. euphrasie owns a copy

729 Notes

⚔️ saviors-of-vaugarde-news follow

The latest report from Dormont's House of Change states that people staying there are still seeing ghosts, but most recent accounts put these ghosts mainly in the corridors and common areas. They are no longer being seen in the dorms and classrooms, and reports are becoming few enough that Head Housemaiden Euphrasie told journalists she believes the ghosts should fade by next spring. However, she does admit that she isn't sure why the ghosts have remained for as long as they have but refused to comment on where her first estimation had come from.

-mod castle

🧭 saviorodilewhiteknight follow

"ghosts" when only savior siffrin's ghost is the only one being seen at the house

🏴 chess-cheater-deactivated

Someone posted an explanation here. Basically tl;dr it's Time Craft crab

🧭 saviorodilewhiteknight follow

they fucking got them

#does anyone have screenshots of whatever was in #the link chess-cheater linked? #it's gone now :/ #notes say claude hacked the site and deleted it

2,003 Notes

🧨 defender-offender

Everyone that asks me about Mirabelle is getting blocked. Leave her tf alone, she's been through enough without everyone trying to dig up her meta essays and fics.

#stasis and stagnation i'm this close to deleting everything #claude.exe

638 Notes

🐚 shesellsseashells follow

Disclaimer: I know Savior Siffrin never worked for the K*ng and that Savior Odile didn't actually believe this theory, this is a poll for fun.

#savior posting #voted for he forgot

4,218 Notes

🪭 justafan follow

So. Uh. Anyone else hear about that game coming out? The one about Vaugarde's Saviors fighting the King?

🥚 notreadytohatch follow

Didn't the dev claim to be a vessel for Vaugarde's change god?

🪭 justafan follow

Yeah but. Yeah not touching that one.

🎭 anguished-actor follow

Theres gonna be a what.

#hooboy idc what the game looks like i'll be making popcorn for all the discourse that'll be popping up #is there a kickstarter i wanna donate

🌠 loop-garou follow

🧨 defender-offender

How many accounts do you have?????

🌠 loop-garou follow

You're the one flagging me?? 🥺🥺🥺

🧨 defender-offender

I don't care enough to bother.

🧨 defender-offender

I'll tell everyone to leave you alone if you tell me one thing: Are you the one who gave Euphie a bound version of that fic?

🌠 loop-garou follow

DM me and I'll tell you :3c

🎭 anguished-actor follow

Stars, I swear if that was you...

#this... this is like #proof loop-garou and/or anguished-actor are the saviors #right??? #i'm not insane??? #like it makes sense right??? #and who tf is loop??? who is that in the picture?????? is this some joke from one of the saviorshipping fics?? #are they loop-garou's sona??? #and i swear to change if i only get a bunch of asks that only say 'tee-hee'...

958 Notes

[hikarry]

I'm not really on the team that swears to Jesus and beyond that Crowley lost his memories after the Fall. Yes, of course, he forgot some stuff because, ya know, he has been alive for more than 6000 years and if I don't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, Satan knows he won't remember every single second of his life, but he remembers the important things

"Ah, but what about him not remembering fighting alongside FurFur or building the thingy with Saraqael?"

Love, I give you two options:

Those are either some of the stuff he didn't consider important enough to remember OR he is just straight up fucking with them. He does remember, but why reveal it if playing dumb sometimes is good in the long run? Might be useful

Alas, I don't know, but I will die on the hill that he does remember

Which means he most probably remembers meeting Aziraphale. Not because Aziraphale was "important" at the time per se, or because it was love at first sight (because it wasnt, not for him. Bro was so focused on the nebula he didnt even introduce himself when Aziraphale did. He threw him a "Right. Nice to meet ya. Anyway, nebula time!"), but because he was there when Crowley created the nebula and, as he said, he had been waiting for that moment since "well, always". It's an important moment for him, so he remembers. Aziraphale just so happened to be present

I don't know if that was the only interaction they had in Heaven or not (and that's not the point I'm trying to get to so I will ignore that problem for a later post, maybe), but when the now Demon Crawley was sent up to the Garden, he did remember Aziraphale. That's why he approached him

Cmon, Crowley isn't stupid. Of course he wouldn't approach an angel on the wall just willy nilly and make conversation. He didn't know Aziraphale had given away the flaming sword yet. Just approaching an angel from behind and morph into a demon next to him out of nowhere could be a death sentence. Or at least an A Line for a good smitting

Yet, he did it. He had at least 3 other angels to choose from but he approached the angel that he remembered from back in the beginning that was kind enough to help him with the engine of the nebula. Hell! I even bet this was not the first time they saw each other in the Garden!

Bet they've seen and observed each other from afar a few times while they interacted with the humans (yes, cause I believe Crawley, before tempting Eve, tried to gain her trust. It's easier to listen to a friend than a random snake) or just around the Garden really.

That's why Aziraphale didn't get surprised when Crawley showed up at the wall, because he knew the demon snake had been around the Garden for a while. He probably even recognized him as the former Star Maker and hoped he was still a little bit of his old self so he allowed himself to engage in conversation

Anyhow, another clue? This:

He remembers how Heaven works. He remembers he was a high ranking angel. Satan, he remembers the bloody passwords!

Do you know what else he remembers?

Cause they didn't throw that line in there for nothing. No, gents. Cmon. Nothing is random in Good Omens

He knows who he was. He remembers being the Star Maker that hung the stars in the sky

He remembers why he fell, for goodness sake

And the fact that he remembers everything makes all of it so much more tragic, doesn't it? He remembers his life before the Fall, his supposed friends that dragged him into the pit with them, what Her love felt like, the "mistakes" he made that led to his Fall

And it must have hurt. It must have hurt so much when he found himself in a pit of boiling sulfur with his wings completely burned and without Her love because he remembered it all. He must have been so bloody confused for so long

He might have regretted it. All the questions and the company he kept that made him Fall. But he doesn't anymore.

He knows he doesn't need Heaven, he doesn't need Hell. They are toxic. All he needs is his pacific fragile existence on Earth with Aziraphale and yet...well, that's something else he won't forget now, is it?

*clears throat*

I rest my case

[traffytaffy]

OP Men and “confessing”

Ft. Law, Kid, Zoro

Hey! I was not expecting how the last post was going to go. So thank you so much! As promised, i made a follow up. Im sorry it took so long as well….i hit a writers block😙

So consider this part 2 to this post!⤵️

OP Men and being “told” they are in love with you

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Law;

This was an accident. An accident in which he wanted to throw Shachi, Penguin, Ikakku, and Bepo overboard.

You were ordered to organize medical supplies in the closet that was connected to the room he was in. You kept the lights off cause the light of the room Law was in lit up the closet so you could see just fine.

The group barges in.

“Captain, we dont know where your little crush is at. Have you seen them?” Penguin teases while asking curiously.

Law’s face goes cold. His eyes widen and his mouth opens and he does a “knock it off” motion with his hands.

“What? Your hands fell asleep?”

Law sighed.

“They’re right there.” He pointed at the closet door where you slowly walked out, a blush spreading to your ears at what Penguin had said.

Bepo, who was behind the rest slowly backed away. Law scowls at them. They knew where this was going. They have no chance to defend themselves before his fingers go up.

“Shambles”

~

You are left alone with Law. His eyes couldnt dare to meet yours.

“Dont listen to what they sa-“

“Is it true?” You interrupted him with slight hesitation.

His eyes finally met yours. He didnt have to say anything for you to understand what those yellow orbs were saying to you. And most of all, he knew he couldn’t lie to you at this point.

“Yes…” he says softly.

“Like….wise?”

He gasps softly and immediately looks up. His feet move on their own as he was no longer in his chair, but instead right in front of you.

“You mean that?”

You nod. More sure than anything.

Law leans close to you… he didnt know if what he was thinking was the right choice. Every little thing he did was thought for. It all had a plan, no matter how small it was. But there were rare occasions of impulsiveness…this was that occasion…He decided to take that risk.

His hand cups your cheek, your lips were caressed by back and forth swipes of his thumb.

“May I?” He asks, you can hear the boost of confidence in his voice behind the loud beats of your heart.

You don’t hesitate for once and nod. When your lips go crashing into one another, you can feel a few pair of eyes watching at the edge of the doorframe. They had somehow ran all the way from where they were sent so they didn’t miss the show. Law doesn’t pull away from this moment. A moment he waited ages for. But he does lift his hand up.

“Uh oh”

“Shambles”

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Kid;

“Huh?” You raise your eyebrows at his declaration towards Killer. “What did Killer do?”

You had a soft look in your eyes. You were worried that you had done something or that you were unwanted in his workshop right now. “I can leave..”

“No,no. Stay.” Kid said with his usual rough voice but it had a hint of softness in it.

“What did you need me here for?”

“For nothing.” He said bluntly.

His lack of answers and short responses was making you feel stupid. Did he want you here or not? Frankly, you were starting to get a bit annoyed.

“Are you trying to mess with me or something?”

“What? Why would i do that?” He says as he turns back and does sketches for an upcoming design for some new machinery.

“I don’t know. You’re busy right now and killer sends me in here just for you to say you don’t need me! Did you want company?”

“No.”

You scoff. Kid notices his behavior and decides to tone it down.

“I-i mean yes. Company… sure”

You roll your eyes.

“Im leaving.”

But before you can walk off, a calloused and warm hand catches your wrist. A calloused and warm hand lifts your chin to meet his gaze. A calloused and warm hand cups your cheek. A calloused and warm hand goes behind your head and pulls you closer.

He studies your face. Making sure you were aware of what he was going to do. Making sure you were comfortable enough for him to proceed. When you give a slight nod, his red lips crash into yours… it was soft… testing-out-the-waters kind of soft until he decided to really get into it.

It isnt when he pulls away and you look up at him in shock that he gives you a smug smile.

“You can go now.”

You smile and begin to walk away, but before you do, you look at your face in a nearby reflection. Your lips had his lipstick stains and you look back at him.

“Damn. You need some kiss-proof lipstick”

You wipe the red smears off your lip.

“And you need to go to hell.”

But he did what you suggested. He bought kiss-proof lipstick…for you.

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Zoro;

The crew was all gathered at the table for breakfast. A usual routine in the morning. But….everyone was at the table except you and Zoro.

Nami thought she hit jackpot with your late appearances. She leaned over towards Sanji and whispered in his ear. Sanji listened intently and did multiple “uh huh”’s in agreement before his eyes widened.

“HE’S WHAT!? ZORO’S IN LOVE WITH-“ He shouted out in which Nami quickly covered his mouth just in time.

“Shut up idiot! Thats why we’re asking for your help!”

“I’ll do it. Just to see y/n reject him” he smirked devilishly.

Nami face palmed and Robin giggled.

Soon enough, the plan was whispered to the entire table, and as soon as she sat back down, you walked in with Zoro right behind.

You sit down, Zoro right next to you as Sanji served breakfast. But just like Nami’s plan… and a touch of his self. He swooned over you. Every compliment in the book was thrown at you. You couldn’t help but blush and thank him.

Zoro on the other hand? He was fed up.

He could only take so much. But once he saw that Sanji was getting to you? He slammed his fist on the table, stood up, and faced Sanji, face to face.

“You trying to do something cook?”

“Like what? Serve my fellow crewmate?”

“You know damn well-“

“Why are you so mad anyways? You in love or something?” Sanji snapped back with a mocking tone at the end.

“Oh im going to end you!” Zoro unsheathes one of his swords.

“Try me!”

Zoro and Sanji both position themselves to fight each other. You stand up and get in between them.

“Enough! Sanji! Zoro! What has gotten into you?”

Zoro walks out the room with a huff. Everyone is left silent. You look around,a bit embarrassed before dashing out the door to catch up with Zoro. The cool breeze of the wind hits you as your eyes dart around the ship. He wasn’t in the crows nest. Not at the railings. Where was he?

But suddenly you can hear the sounds of knives sharpening. You turn the corner and see the green-haired man you had come to admire and love. You see him sitting in a corner, sharpening his blades. He can feel your presence and he immediately turns away.

You walk up to him and sit down.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Don’t play dumb”

He sighs, knowing he couldn’t run away from this. He literally couldn’t run away, considering they were in the middle of the ocean and he was too tired to throw himself overboard at this point.

“Why were you so defensive of me over Sanji?”

“Don’t play dumb” he repeats the words you had told him just a minute ago.

He places a hand on his heart and then with that same hand reaches to your chest and touches your heart. He gives you a look that says “do i have to say it out loud?”

Your eyes widen in realization. Was he saying that… he was in love with you? There was no doubt about it.

“Oh i see.”

Your short response made him scoff.

“Just forget it”

You notice that your reaction was getting to him. You had to fix this. You had to let him know that this wasn’t something to easily dismiss. Your hands instinctively reached out to his heart. His shoulder became a resting spot for your head. And his ear was all you needed to voice through to him.

“Im not.”

He softly gasps as he looks down at you. His face revealing a blush of a tomato.

“Shut up”

And all you do is giggle. Cause you..only you knew there was alot more care and heart in those words.

[aliaology]

WANT ME DEAD

summary: loving and being loved by jack hughes was supposed to feel like a breath of fresh air— but the air was quickly stripped from your lungs when you realized it was never real

pairings: jack hughes x fem!reader

warnings: heavy angst, one sided love, bets, death

uhm heavily UNEDITED LOLL she kinda sucks but

you knew jack was the one for you the moment he came up to you after one of his games just to apologize for someone in the crowd accidentally pouring their beer on you— someone who he had no idea existed.

you knew jack was the one for you when he would make an effort to call you every night, always waiting for you to answer before saying, “hey, pretty girl.”

you knew jack was the one for you when he came to your house the night after your brother got into a car crash. he held you tightly— whispered sweet nothings into your ear as his hold never loosened.

you knew jack was the one for you the moment ‘i love you’ slipped through his lips; like little secrets only he wanted you to know.

but, your entire relationship wasn’t private— no it was entirely public. not public in you posting each other, but public in him telling every little detail to his best friends: trevor and cole.

you realized jack was a shitty man the day you overheard him on the phone. his voice; the one you grew to love, was speaking to trevor.

you realized jack was a cruel man the day you heard him admit out loud to his mother how this was all fake. you realized his mother was an admiring woman the moment she started to yell at him. you realized jack would never be a good person the moment he lied to you.

“was any of it real to you?” you whispered as you looked at his back. you watched him tense up before turning to you.

“what—what do you mean?” he was acting oblivious— sinking into it.

“how much of our relationship was fake to you, jack?” you spoke, your eyes held pain in them as you teared up.

“where is this coming from, baby?” he asked.

you let out a scoff mixed with a choked sob. “why are you still performing in front of me? im not stupid jack, ive heard you! you called me stupid for believing this. you just told your mom it was just because you wanted money.”

“baby..” jack spoke lowly. his eyes held guilt, anger.

“were you sent by someone? someone who wanted me dead? because you are fucking killing me, jack. ive been back and forth with myself, trying to convince my head that you were lying; or even just joking. ive tried for defending you against my head for so fucking long, jack.”

you watched as ellen stood there; clearly torn apart by the entire thing. of course she loves her son, but he was ruining you.

“you knew i loved you— you knew that and you still did this? you couldn’t have a fucking heart and just reject me?” you were desperate— desperate for his love, even after this.

“i didnt want to hurt you..” he trailed off.

you let out another scoff. “good fucking riddance”

you had tears running down your cheeks. you turned around, trying to not let him see you cry. you felt his hand touch your shoulder— which you quickly shrugged it away.

“dont you dare— you have no right.. no right to touch me right now.” you were a mess— a full on mess. “you— i let you see all of me, all of it.” you brokenly whispered.

“i let you in— you came to my brothers funeral for fucks sake, jack! i cried on your shoulder— you told me, you said so many things.” you cried out.

jack watched you break down, his brows furrowed as guilt washed over him.

“i took you to my moms grave.” you whimpered out, your lip quivering as you shakily spoke.

ellen came over, her arm wrapping around your shoulders. “come on sweetie, lets get you outside.” she whispered.

you sobbed into your hands as she began to lead you outside. “mom—“ jack tried to speak but was immediately cut off by the look she gave him.

that night, you declared ellen hughes as your savior. that night, you declared jack hughes as the shittiest man to exist. the smallest man who ever lived.

i need to make a new taglist bc i forgot everyone and it was so messy last time 😭😭 lmk if u want tags from now on babes!!

[floralhuqzz]

Sexual tension (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader) smut

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Warning: smut, degradation, choking, petnames, virgin reader,, DONT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18🔞

🦇author: the edit thats in this post is not mine,, all credits to crystalcaskle on tiktok!!! :) I also apologize if theres any misspelled words english is not my first language!

♱

I woke up around 7 am when i decided to make myself some breakfast before i start streaming,, ive started youtube 1 year ago, around that time when i met Johnnie. Ive been living with him and Jake for the past 3 months and honestly its been going pretty good.

“whatcha’ making?”

“oh god dont scare me like that!” i slightly punch him in the shoulder

“sorry sorry.. it smells really good” he puts his arm around my shoulder and i blush.. i had a crush on him since when we first met

“you want some pancakes?” i look at him

“yeah, thanks” he pats my head, making my hair look like a mess

“i hate you” i roll my eyes

“you love me” he laughs as he sits down

‘i do..” i thought to myself

i make some coffee and more pancakes as i sit down next to Johnnie.

“are you doing something after?” he asks me while he keeps eating his pancakes

“yeah..i have to stream right now,, but im free afterwards” i smile

“wanna go out?” he finally looks at me,, he looked so beautiful,, his blue beautiful eyes.. his makeup he forgot to take off before bed that somehow still looked good on him.

“yeah..i would love to” i smile a little

i stand up

“i better go now, ill see you in 2 hours johnnie” i smile as i walk to my room

1 hour later*

i started streaming and i decided to react to some videos that my followers sent me,, they were usually sending edits of me or they will even sometimes send me memes. They all kinda supposed i had a crush on Johnnie, i just didn’t want to say anything just yet. They will sometimes send me edits of Johnnie and see my face turning red.

As one of my followers sent me this edit

When i watched that edit i said something that i will be definitely regretting later

“i volunteer..*cough* i mean what?..” i laugh

“WHAT DID SHE SAY” “DID WE HEAR THAT RIGHT?” “SHE JUST SAID I VOLUNTEER” “TELL ME THAT SOMEONE CLIPPED THAT”

“chat you are all crazy” i laughed

after another hour i decided to end the stream as i said my goodbyes

i walk to the living room as i see Johnnie sitting on the couch looking a bit serious

“you okay there?” i chuckle

“i need to talk to you”

oh no.

“yeah what is it?”

“mind explaining me this?” he shows me a clip of my reaction to that one edit on my stream

"oh um." i blush as i look away

"hm?" he stands up and walks towards me "cat got your tongue?"

i didnt say anything. i just stared at the floor

"i asked you something" he puts his hand on my chin

"it- it was just a joke, you know?" i chuckle awkwardly as i felt like i was about to pass out from embarassment

"it didnt seem like a joke to me" he stares at me

"yeah umm..." i start to walk back as he started to walk towards me, almost like trying to intimidate me

"whats wrong?" he smirks

"n-nothing" i finally bump into the wall behind me

"if you wanted to get fucked by me you couldve just said so"

"w-what?"

"dont play dumb"

"i-im no-" he grabs my neck

"lying to me wont get you anywhere" he stares at my shirt as he starts to put his hand inside my shirt

"j-johnnie what are y-" i could literally feel my heart beat racing by the second

"dont tell me you dont want this” he now started to kiss my neck

i felt like i was literally about to pass out from how hot i was in that moment. i couldn’t believe this was actually happening,,

“come here” he picks me up in bride style and sets up on walking to his bedroom,, he opens the door and throws me to his bed as he climbs on top of me

“fuck,, i wanted this for so long..” he starts to take off my shirt,, i felt hot between my legs

he started to kiss my stomach going down my hips. he slowly took off my pants and threw them on the floor

“johnnie wait!” he stops

“whats wrong? did i go too far??” he looks at me worried

“no no…its just that…its my first time..” i blush

“oh…” he smirks “ill make you feel good alright baby?,, you just have to trust me with this okay? can you do that for me?” he caresses my thigh. i nod as he then continued what he was doing earlier. he starts to kiss my chest going down my stomach, and finally reaching down to my panties.

“can i?” he started to kiss my inner thigh

“mhm” i nod

he slowly started to take off my panties as he then began to slowly eat me out. I’ve never in my life had been touched this way by anyone,, and knowing that the first person to take away my virginity was johnnie, it relieved me. i started to whimper as he suddenly started to go faster. his tongue was reaching all the right spots.

“fuck-“ i whimper as i felt him moan, sending vibrations to my core which gave me even more pleasure. i look down as i see him staring at me as he kept eating me out “johnnie fuck i-“ i moan

“come on baby, be a good girl and cum on my face” him calling me a ‘good girl’ sent me shivers down my spine.

“oh god oh god oh god-“ i throw my head back as i came

johnnie looks at me and caresses my thighs once again.

“you did so good baby..” he gets up and starts to kiss me. I see him unbuckling his pants.

“do you want this?” he asks

“yes…yes i do” i was so turned on by now that the only thing i wanted was him..and only him

“you will have to beg for it or ill leave you like this…needy…and you dont want that right princess?” he smirks

“n-no…” fuck he knew what he was doing. He waits for me to continue

“p-please johnnie..” i whimper as he lined himself to my entrance

“you can do better than that..” he looks at me dead in the eyes

“please johnnie i want your dick inside of me..” i beg,, i felt so embarrassed but turned on at the same time

“thats a good girl” he gets inside of my without a warning as i moaned from the sudden feeling

“for how long you’ve wanted this y/n? hm? tell me.” he began to move

“for a l-long time..” i moan, it felt like i was on cloud nine

He started to thrust harder and faster,, i felt like i was about to cum.

“j-johnnie i-im~” i whimpered and he put his hand on my leg and place it on his shoulder for better access which made the feeling 100 times better

“i know baby i know…fuck y-you feel amazing” he thrusted faster, “come on princess cum with me…” he moaned as we both cummed. We started to breath heavily,, with our hair sticking to our foreheads because of the sweat,, messy hair and red face but he still looked beautiful

“youre absolutely gorgeous..” i blush at his sudden comment

“i dont know if this is the right time but…i really like you..” he confesses

“i like you too johnnie…ive liked you for a very long time..” i smile at him as he kisses my forehead and we both fall asleep in each others arms.

[vaultedoverthehorse]

CherryCola fic inspired by @damthosefandoms ‘s post!!! this is my first time ever writing a fic, so any advice is appreciated!!

Cherry Valance was sitting and watching the sunset from the perch by her window. Her gaze lingered on the way the leaves seemed to look gold as the beams of light hit them. Ponyboy Curtis would have loved this if he was here. In her opinion, this was the best spot to see the sunset in the entirety of Tulsa.

She liked to sit up here and think. She usually does so when she’s overwhelmed, but recently this has been her only solace. With the war overseas, she feels as if all the peace in her life has been uprooted. Boys from her city were being sent over there to…she doesn’t like to think about it. She’s seen the families morning lost brothers and sons. It makes her feel sick.

A soft tap at her door snapped her out of her thoughts. Cherry turned as the door opened, revealing her mother. There was a package in her hands.

“Darling, someone sent this to you. Someone named Sodapop..?” Her mother said, her voice light and cautious, yet slightly judgmental.

Cherry felt her breath catch as she heard his name. Why was he writing to her? She remembered briefly overhearing that he was drafted, but she never expected him to send her of all people a package. Why wouldn’t this go to his brothers? Her heart started racing uncontrollably. That was a feeling she hasn’t felt since her sophomore year of high school.

“Sherry, do you know him?” Her mother asks. There’s a slight tone of distaste in her voice - which makes sense for her, as she disliked the idea of her daughter being with a greaser.

“Oh, sort of. I mean, he was a classmate.” Cherry brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I never really talked to him much.” She dreaded the way her mother spoke, and the way she looked at her. The disapproval was evident.

Her mother looked at her with a suspicious glint in her eyes. “Alright, well…I’ll just leave this here.” Her mother placed the small box on Cherry’s dresser and sent her daughter another look before leaving. Cherry understood why she wouldn’t believe her - she hardly believed it herself. Why would he want to send her something?

She just sat for a moment. She wasn’t upset like she should be - why is a greaser writing to a soc girl? - instead, she felt more confused and…longing, almost. Finally she gathered the courage to stand up.

She carefully crossed the room and took the package into her hands. It was slightly heavier than she expected. What could be in here? She sat on her bed, keeping it on her lap for a long moment. She just stared at it, a million thoughts racing through her brain. Almost too many to decipher.

Finally, with the dying light cascading through her window, she opened the box. Inside was a folded piece of paper and a small Bible. The sunlight caused the gilded pages of the book to shine. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she questioned again why she wouldn’t believe be sent this. She pulled out the piece of paper, carefully unfolding it. She scanned the words quickly, taking in the shaky handwriting - which made her smile, as she recognized it immediately as his - before she started to read.

Cherry,

Hey, how ya been?. I bet youre shocked. Im shocked too. I said id never write to someone again, at least till I knew I was heading home. But I saw something out here that reminded me of you. I put it in the Bible to keep it safe so you could see it. It really kept me going out here when it was really bad. I get why ya dont like fights now. Theres no point to all this. It’s just pain and hurt for no reason. Back in Tulsa things were simpler and fights didnt mean much. Now its just plain bad. I miss being a kid. I miss first grade before all this mattered because I knew you. I miss you Cherry. Ive missed you for a while, not just while Im here. I miss you helping me with school and me drawing you horses. I just wanted that again. I found myself looking for traces of you everywhere. Even in Tulsa girls. Theres a nurse here who reminds me of you. Shes the nicest one.

Dont tell my brothers or anyone I wrote to you. I havent been able to send them anything for a while because I dont wanna give them hope. I love them too much for that, ya know? And I wouldnt put you through this either but you get it. You know it dont mean im okay. I just wanted you know how much youve helped me since i met ya. I dont know you well these days but you mean a lot to me. I hope if I come back I can see you again.

Sodapop Curtis

Cherry felt a lump in her throat as she held the letter in her hands. Soda…he may not know how to write correctly, but he sure did know how to express what he wanted to. She reread the letter, wiping her eyes while she did so. The paper felt comforting in her hands. Like she was holding a piece of him.

Gently folding the letter back up, she placed to the side so she could grab the small Bible. Holding it carefully, as if it were a baby, she flipped through until she saw what he sent her. Between its pages was a small, pressed cherry blossom.

Seeing that, she couldn’t help it any longer. She sobbed into her hands, mourning a boy who wasn’t even dead yet. She remembered their childhood. He was the first boy she’s ever liked. Even when she was dating other boys, she left a space in her heart for him. Now he’s so far away, he’s scared, and he’s alone. Cherry just wants to bring him home, but she can’t. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t reach across the sea and carry him back to his brothers. To her. She feels helpless. She ran her hands along the page of the Bible, scared to touch the flower in fear of hurting it.

Cherry wishes she would have told him how she felt. Told him that she’d have run away with him had he asked, that he’s not crazy, that he used to brighten her day. Her parents would disown her, but she doesn’t care anymore. She could’ve told him that day in the lot before the rumble, but she talked herself out of it. And now it may be too late. Why could’ve she have just been brave?

Drying her eyes with her sleeve, Cherry gathered up the gifts from Soda and walked over to her dresser. She pushed through the socks in one of her draws until she could see the bottom. She placed the Bible and the letter right next to a small drawing of a horse that she’s had since she was six. Nobody else knows who it’s from. Her friends assume it’s something Bob gifted her when they were younger, and she hasn’t corrected them.

Cherry closed the draw after making sure the items were hidden. She sent one last look out her window, catching the final moments of the sunset. That’s when she made up her mind. She’d write him tomorrow. If he could send her a present in the midst of him fighting a war, she could send him something from her peaceful little home in Oklahoma. She could remind him of home.

[starzzangell]

https://www.tumblr.com/starzzangell/766640644581097472/im-sorry-i-dont-wanna-be-mean-but-how-can-u-post?source=share

then what about yall preaching "im limitless" but have blockages like make it makes sense bruh?? no wonder yall haven't shifted yet. "im the creator of my own reality" ding dong you create your own blockages too!!!

"loa professional" yet got kicked out from school? PFFTTT be fucking real now smh ur cringe yikes.

👁👃🏿👁

🖕🏿👅🖕🏿

guys my first hate omg !!

so basically this is super immature and i think you need to get over yourself and grow some balls cause doing this anonymously is so pathetic if youre gonna hate at least do it without hiding behind a screen. perhaps you do this cause you love being degraded idk..

ive been severely depressed and struggling for a long time now and that really affects my shifting journey because im rly bad with not letting things get to my head or wtv.. i am aware that i create my own blockages but part of the journey is to move past them which im still working on, and idc how long it takes me im gonna do it.

i love how you sent this without knowing the full story its so funny how you think you know everything about the situation when all you know is like 3% of the info. i havent rly practiced loa consciously in a while because i was under so much pressure and while i was trying my hardest i made a few mistakes and thats why thats how it ended. im not ashamed of this and they didnt even really kick me out they just were scared of another person killing themselves in the dorms so they said i had to go somewhere else.

anyways this was not fun and i dont like defending myself to random people online who dont even know me but ill do it if i have to.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’ve got one more request in my brain and then I’ll stop for a while…maybe

So this one is an solo? I.H.A where y/n is doing stand up! Halfway through Jax is egging on reader and going “boo get off the stage” which causes y/n to stop and rail into Jax in the vein of “that’s why yo mama dead” this goes on for 10 minuets, everyone shocked and Caine’s jaw in the earth. Then y/n drops the mic and walks off. If it’s possible could I also add the others reaction to this? Thanks! ❤️❤️ ps your writing is great

Stand up Comedy where you get back at a rude audience member

wasnt too sure what to name this since its not exactly a shipping thing, maybe, i think... i dunno!! this post may be a little short, may not be, we shall see! erm!! warning i do not have good humor i think, like i am unfunny finally getting to requests for today; took me a little longer than usual since i went out to go get some breakfast and i threw together some dough for cinnamon rolls today also gentle reminder ! currently requests are closed so i can catch up on my inbox and take a short break! i dont have a set time for them to open again, but i aim to reopen in a few days! any new requests sent in will be void; its nothing against you my inbox is just flooded rn and i need to empty it out </3

caine thought it would be a good idea for you guys to do a little comedy night; be it for bonding or for entertainment you werent sure

however throughout the night, jax was calling out to whoever was on stage and trying to either steal their show or simply being mean

so far, pomni had gone (who froze up on stage the second the lights were on her), gangle (poor girl was bullied off stage by jax), kinger (who just rambled about cool bug facts)

needless to say so far the night was a bit of a disaster

currently, zooble was up on stage, not even making an attempt to do jokes. any jokes they did make were a bit on the darker side; and of course, jax was loudly cutting in

"you know what? <> this!" zooble drops the prop mic and storms off the stage, the air being a tense afterwards

you feel caine nudging your side, alerting you that you were up next

you internally sighed, you really didnt want to do this, in fact it seemed like just about everyone didnt want to do this

jax immediately started on his bullshit before you even had a chance to open your mouth, already booing. from on the stage you could see ragatha giving him a look

you tried to begin again, before jax made a comment on how quiet you were

"oh course you'd know about sound, seriously have you seen how big your feet are? you slap the floor instead of stomping"

silence

zooble lets out a choked laugh, and you can see caine jerk forward as he tried to contain a surprised laugh

jax narrows his eyes, and he opened he mouth

"hang on wait when was the last time you brushed your teeth? i mean come on man, youre teeth are yellow. maybe the reason no ones been laughing is because theyre choking from how bad your breath smells"

gangle holds her hands over her mouth, seemingly in shock. kingers eyes darted between you and jax, and pomni held a similar expression to gangle... jax, of course, was fuming, trying to rattle off a come back, ultimately failing and stammering that his teeth are meant to be that color

you had to admit, it was odd seeing jax finally being knocked down a peg, but it was satisfying in its own way

you kind of ragged on him for another minute before seeing yourself off stage

the entire room was silent

caine pulled his lower jaw off the floor, and regained himself, before letting jax know it was his turn up next

tonight was going to be a long night...

[nicomrade]

its honestly very hard to know what causes a blogs termination- even more so when its not urs or someone u actually know. still, after this day-long all-night vigil of self-reflection, ive tried to come to some sort of an answer

a year ago, most-american-ever's blog was deleted. it mightve happened for a number of reasons: mistaken for spam, the odd tumblr glitch, was secretely a russian spy masquarading as an american, broke TOS on another blog, and many more. whatever happened there is one thing we can be mildly sure of and its that they didnt manually deactivate, and whatever offed their blog i triggered it. nothing can change that.

and nothing can change the year i spent convinced id pushed someone over the edge and sent the one hatemail that finally made them think this site was no longer worth it. who takes a barely 100 notes post and calls the op a loser to their face on it? i did. i never saw myself as the kind of person who would. and yet, i did. i didnt even know the lore myself. if theres a babar poseur on this site, its me.

and im not uniquely evil for it. there is nothing that sets me apart from you, that makes me more capable of harm and less thoughtful. you are also one lapse of judgement away, one sleep deprived moment, one badly worded joke, away from hurting someone else with your actions and words outside of your intent. we must make efforts together to keep each other in check and remember that behind the screen we are talking to a real person. it only takes one click to post something you can never take back.

and yet today filled me with hope. i was hesitant to organize this as the offender in this situation it felt innapropriate of ME of all people to center myself like this. and honestly i was worried itd look like i was taking the piss and just having a laugh about my misdeed- "they deactivated over babar, how funny."

but i also knew no one else in my circle would hold this and i had to pay my respects. i didnt want my guilt to stop me from doing the right thing. so i made myself very vulnerable and honestly the reactions been heartwarming. i may never be forgiven but tonights made me see a brighter, kinder future. thank you

mistakes arent something to be shamed or ridiculed for. you may be truthful but it doesnt make it right.

and maybe one day we will know the truth behind this sudden deactivation. and maybe we wont. but we will never forget the story of a user who made the most wonderful and shareable polls just wanting to know who our favorite king is. and it turns out, most of the time, its babar.

if you are still out there most-american-ever i hope u r blogging having fun n still babaring (if u did like that elephant) that is my single wish. sorry about ur blog. sorry i was mean. do you even know or care?

#stopbullying

[outfoxt]

Affixes, Clitics, and Particles

i think that these parts of language are really cool! so im going to try to explain them :D also i definitely did not get sent down an hours long rabbit hole of linguistic papers and i also definitely didn't find out that the reason i wanted to make this post is actually a misconception :D i love ignoring things :D

Affixes:

the wikipedia article for affixes says that "in linguistics, an affix is a morpheme that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form."

in hopefully simpler terms, this basically means that an affix is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form.

some examples of these are the somewhat well known prefix and suffix, but also the beloved infix:

prefix: undone suffix: spotless infix: abso-fucking-lutely

sidenote: my favorite thing about english infixes is that they pretty much only work with expletives. in fact, there's a tom scott video about expletive infixations!

Clitics:

wikipedia defines a clitic as such: "a clitic is a morpheme that has syntactic characteristics of a word, but depends phonologically on another word or phrase."

in layman's terms: a clitic is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that has the function of a word in a sentence, but depends on another word or phrase based on the sound rules of the language.

a few examples of clitics can be seen in finnish (which also has a great many affixes but we're not talking about those right now):

-ko/kö -han/hän -pa/pä -kin

the spelling of the clitic depends on vowel harmony. if you want to learn more, this dissertation is all about finnish clitics!

you may be asking yourself how to tell the difference between clitics and other parts of speech. well this study has just the thing for you! quite a few tests are suggested by the author of this study if you want to be able to tell if something is a clitic or not, including some of the following:

a phonological test observe how the clitic forms a phonological unit with an independent word. (do not ask me how this one works i dont know) accentual test "clitics are accentually dependent, while full words are accentually independent." put simply, if you can't put stress on it, it's probably a clitic syntactic test a word can stand on its own and be subject to normal word processes such as tense changes while a clitic cannot do this

Particles:

"'Particle' is a cover term for items that do not fit easily into syntactic and semantic generalizations about the language[.]"

read: "particle" is a miscellaneous, catch all term for anything that doesn't fit into the above two categories (or any other word categories like nouns, verbs, etc.)

the author of this study (who i'm going to refer to as Zwicky from now on because it's easier) says that theres no such thing as a particle and that its distinction from affixes, clitics, words, and clauses is unnecessary. i think thats an. interesting take.

anyway even though Zwicky just said theres no such thing as particles (which, how could he do that? theres kids around! we dont want to ruin the magic!) he concedes that there is actually a group of words that are commonly called particles that he agrees are actually particles. but he decides to call them discourse markers instead. because fuck you.

i dont like any of the words that Zwicky included so i made a list of my own:

-ね (ne) eh (canadian english) innit (common transcription of "isn't it", british english)

the funny thing is im coming out of this still not entirely clear on what a particle is. i thought i knew, i did some research, realized i didnt know, and now i'm here. based on how Zwicky puts it, it feels like the category of "particle" exists to accommodate the fact that there might be words* that arent affixes, clitics, words, or clauses but it feels like Zwicky is just being contrary. I should probably have done more research but this post was supposed to be done 24 hours ago.

out of context highlights from my research process: - sanskrit - the panini rule - doch - verbosely long section titles

*i dont actually mean words, i mean a morpheme which is a letter or a group of letters that form the representation of one sound that carries meaning, but i didn't want to make that sentence long and unreadable

if i'm wrong, please tell me! i would appreciate being corrected, i know i am not an expert on this topic in the slightest.

[employee052]

ozzies long-ass TSP ramble

For context, a few days ago i was in a thinky mood when i watched this video on Valve catwalks. it mentioned death of the author, and while ive heard of it, I didnt understand what it meant until after the video explained it. So i got thinking. the following was a series of messages I sent to my friends on a discord server im in (with the exception of the last part bc i just thought of it now even tho im sick) that i compiled for yall into sections so its easier to read. these are just my thoughts and could be totally wrong, i just wanted to share aksjdh :P (plus this is my second time im posting this so there might be some inconsistencies)

(ramble under the cut so yall dont get a massive wave of text on your dash)

"smth smth death of the author smth smth reviews smth smth interpretations smth smth skip button"

like idk if this was obvious to everyone else n im just finally getting it or not, but the skip button ending being about the narrator seeing the negative reviews causing him to create the button in order to appease them, which said reviews ended up making him believe he was being preachy and obnoxious and unfunny, but as a result, he ends up believing it and trying to appease those interpretations rather than be more confident of his dialogue and what it means to him(whatever he may believe) and ending up dying at the end bc of it being a kind of literal version a death of an author of sorts

---

im just thinking about how timekeeper/settings person/432/whatever is really only interested in the player, but not stanley himself. and if the narrator ends up dying (or decaying at least in my interpretation) during the skip button, could the same be said about stanley as a character as well?

like we never see stanleys model as us, we dont see his feet when we look down, and the only time we see him in game is either as a hand during the bucket escape pod ending, the mariella endings, and the not stanley ending. and the last two are cutscenes. for all we know, stanley could have died at some point during the skip button after the narrator did and we would never know bc we cant see him

but since 432's desk being at the end of the epilogue which happens post skip button ending, i would have said that was the first time we ever see him interact with the game internally rather than asking for the time. but i do remember someone suggesting that the timekeeper was the one who removed the door in the skip button in order to kill the narrator off and get stanley/the player away from him in order to talk more

with that thought in mind, that would mean TK had to kill stanley and the narrator off in order to be able to lead the game, push beyond the barriers of a narrator and character and just talk to the player, one on one

---

it makes me wonder if what the curator said in the museum ending holds more weight

like, she talks to the player as well. both she and TK talk to the player themselves instead of stanley the character. and when she says "When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?"

stanley's function is a character in the narrators story, a literary device to propel the game forward. the narrator makes the race track, and stanley drives. without the narrator where would stanley go or do, without stanley who would move the story along?

"Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another? No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen."

and yet, hes dead, just like the curator said. because no matter what, he's never going to be able to truly make his own decisions. the confusion ending lays out how all the endings are scripted despite what the narrator believes and acts, its all predetermined.

and in a sense, the narrators dead too. no matter what stanley tries to do to change the story, or the narrator changes to the game in order for stanley to react to, its been planned long in advance for the eventuality. every word, every event. and with stanley's deaths, it ends up just bringing them back to the beginning again, "What exactly did the Narrator think he was going to accomplish?" if they always come back to the same preplanned paths, to the illusion of free will, it doesnt matter regardless. death doesnt become a statement, it becomes an inconvenience.

"But listen to me, you can still save these two. You can stop the program before they both fail. Push escape, and press quit. There's no other way to beat this game. As long as you move forward, you'll be walking someone else's path. Stop now, and it'll be your only true choice."

The only way to save both Stanley and The Narrator is by not letting the story play out to begin with. To beat the game, which means to let the game end after you win.

and yet,

the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is neve-

In a game where there is no ending that stops the game in its entirety, where everything will keep on happening again and again and the end is never the end, the only way to beat it is to make a choice as yourself the player, not stanley the character.

because he doesnt get a choice, the narrator doesnt get a choice. they think they do, but they dont. the only way to beat the game is to not play it. (which makes sense given that there are achievements involving not playing the game in both the 2013 HD remaster and 2022 Ultra Deluxe)

both Stanley and The Narrator are two sides of the same coin that make up The Stanley Parable, and the only way to use the coin is to give it away.

maybe thats why the true ending of the game with credits and stuff like that, is the Not Stanley Ending.

You the player have successfully broken the fourth wall from the outside in, even though that ending was planned like all the others (ie, the game allowing you to disconect the phone), you break the illusion of being stanley the character, which the game ends up booting you out of stanley as it cant handle the "narrative contradiction".

maybe thats why the escape pod ending has the sign that reads "both the player and the narrator must be present in order to leave". its not stanley, its the player, us.

maybe thats why that ending is one of the most cruel. the only way to get there is to leave the narrator trapped in the boss' office. there's no way to get him to the escape pod. the end is never the end.

---

(this part was the new idea i just had today so this might not make sense i appologize)

going back to the beginning of this ramble about the death of the author and such. perhaps there is a way to get the narrator out.

with thoughts about interpretations and with he idea of the "death of the author", all of us have our own interpretations of the TSP characters. whether its design, or relationship wise, or characterization, or what have you. The Narrator in my head is different from you reading this, and that narrator is different from another persons perspective, and definitely our narrators are different to the one that lives in Davey Wreden's head, or Kevan Brighting, or anyone who has even heard of the stanley parable.

and that's not a bad thing! there can be many similarities to the characters that our interpretations share, some more common than others and some that make no sense at all, but for the most part we all have different interpretations of the characters.

I read a book called Book Simulator (The Reader's guide to not reading) by Chris Yee on stream once. The VOD is gone now. But I discovered the book because I heard the guy writing/the narrator of sorts for the book was written like the Stanley Parable Narrator.

It didnt help that Kevan brighting voiced over the commercial for it too askjdh

but back to the book. this will contain somewhat spoilers for it since it brings up a moment at the end of the book so feel free to stop here if you dont want to be spoiled

---

basically, in Book Simulator, Booksi (The book's instructional narrator on how to fake read at the start of the book) is arguing with The Narrator (no not ours, but the general narrator who speaks in the third person), however, its revealed by The Narrator that Booksi has a plan to take over the world by inhabiting more book simulators and distributing them across the world. But, the reader could kill off the booksi that they have in their hands that they are reading, to quote:

"Or was he the original Booksi? Maybe not. Maybe the original Booksi had been vanquished long ago, and the reader was now facing one of the many copies roaming the world. Both Booksi and the Narrator knew the answer to this question, but neither would reveal the truth."

---

Taking from Book Simulator the concept of multiple iterations of one character existing in different copies of the media they originate from, maybe in a way that's how the Narrator may die in the stanley parable, forever stuck to repeat the same endings with the illusion of free will, but he lives on somewhat for everyone that has seen or heard of him in any capacity.

this may sound a bit preachy (oh the irony) but bare with me:

The Original Narrator from The Stanley Parable is dead, dead in the sense that he and Stanley are stuck within the game, given the illusion of free choice, and unable to leave nor do anything to try and escape, is also alive in the sense that we the players perception of The Narrator lives on in our minds.

The Narrator from the game might be stuck, but the Narrator i see in my head, the one i designed and draw and think of is perfectly fine and alive as ever.

and the same goes with you and anyone else who has heard of the narrator. their interpretation is still unique and different to them even if it all comes from the same media. he may not be exactly the same as the original, but hes still there. and in a way, hes free.

(man typing this last segment down makes me feel like a gd priest, and/or someone talking abt the barbie movie akjdhkjasdh so sorry if doesnt make sense at all :P)

[june-rambles]

i just have to tell u that i consistently go back to ur long post talking abt ocd emma because i agree with every single word and you understand emma swan so well LIKE U GET HER IN THE SAME WAY I GET HER. its lovely. i would love more rambles about it seriously

HI HI HI THIS IS SO. wjhjDSHJHDJHS? THANK YOU!!!!! genuinely didnt think anyone would care abt it but there are multiple people who do and im just shocked everytime..

i think my other long post was more focused on the savior aspect of it and how her family ties into it. i do have another rant i made specifically about the captainswan of it all. like i get into dark hook/dark swan stuff but the underworld arc was SO SO SO OCD EMMA. actually watching the underworld arc was when i was like this girl has something undiagnosed about her like actually: ok copypasting my rant that i sent to my friends who havent watched ouat bc its all i've got in the tank rn LMAO

"and then the darkness plot line:

emma is now trying to balance her feelings for hook and being a mother and being a daughter and being a sister and being the savior and trying not to give into the darkness but Hook, the fucking idiot, gets himself fatally hurt. so she fully gives into the power so she can save him.

because if she loses him, then its proof shes not supposed to be happy. if she loses him, she'll have to finally admit to herself that everyone around her DOES get hurt, and she wont do that. (im a survivor swan!). she can maybe see a future, if she squints, so she wont.

and so she does the very thing she swore not to do. the very thing everyone was afraid of happening. to save HIM. and she hurts the people she loves while doing so. but she promises to herself she'll make it up to them and she wont let them down after this. one last time. one last failure. and she takes everyones memories of everything that happened in the Old World.

also i like the parallel of emma saving robin for regina and its just whats expected of her but when she does it for killian everyone is hounding on her like THATS WHAT SHE DOES THATS WHAT SHE'S LEARNED SHE HAS TO DO. HER LIFE MEANS NOTHING.

THE WHOLE THING WITH THE DARKNESS IS THAT USING HER MAGIC MAKES IT WORSE. RIGHT?? WHEN SHE SAVES ROBIN ITS TO HER OWN DETRIMENT. BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT. BC SHES THE SAVIOR THATS JUST WHAT SHE DOES, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED.

SHES A LAMB RAISED FOR SLAUGHTER AUGHHHhh.

after hook gets his memories back and curses her family, she makes up in her mind to sacrifice herself to save her family and get rid of his darkness. like shes genuinely about to kill herself to do so. she talks to rumple and regina and all of that and shes dead serious.

and yeah, he stops the curse by taking in all the darkness and sacrifies himself. and emma is finally free of the darkness due to his

everyone else is moving on but emma is stuck there. she can't move on because hook was supposed to be her future. he said it himself. and regina is with robin and her parents have her baby brother and henry is still there but hes so much older now and shes just kind of. stuck. so she thinks its hook. the answer has to be with hook. getting him back would fix everything. thats her happy ending thats the only way she can finally break this cycle of losing the people she cares about (graham, neal, etc). she has the power to save him. like his parents save eachother all the time.

if she saves him then its kind of like this proof that she's her parent's daughter. because her parents never failed to save eachother. a lot of people dont like the line when she says "i will always find you" and mimicks her parents dynamic but i do really think it shows just how far gone she is? like shes so deep in her grief that shes holding onto the only identity she has left, which is being their daughter. (excluding being henry's mom because thats a whole kind of different thing yk)"

if i have more thoughts i will definitely share them fr frrr

[borderline-culture-is]

In advance; so so sorry for how long and venty/ranty this gets, i lose track of where its going :')

BPD + DPD + Autism + Anxiety + Tulpmancy culture is being so attatched to someone that you dont want to cut contact but one of your Tulpas suggests it because this person keeps hurting and actively hurting me on purpose to get me to hate them but i dont want to because we had the beginnings of plans that we were all excited about and now im confused if those plans are going ahead or not as they cut one line of contact but thats okay we have two other lines of contact and oh one they didnt respond to a message sent hours ago, okay thats fine maybe they were busy,

But also deep down knowing that theyre not going to respond but also deeper down hoping that they do so that those plans can happen because we were excited about it and they got us excited about it almost on purpose to make it hurt more when they left.... huh. . . Did they fucking plan this? Did they plan leaving this time by getting us excited to meet up and then ditch us or did they just not want that one line of communication because they've said before that that particular line can be touchy and potentially triggering to them (even though we've been careful this time)

Thing is, when they've left in the past I got really broken up about it because i considered them my best friend, like a big sibling and it felt like a betrayal but now, whilst i still consider them a good friend, it doesnt hurt as much as it used to, actually it doesnt hurt at all anymore and now i dont know if i do actually care about them (which i *think* i do and also *want* to) or if its just the emotions of some of my tulpas (who consider this friend to be family as well) bleeding over onto me

I wish i could let them go like they want me to, but i know that it could lead to bad things for them, so i feel almost morally or ethically obligated to stay?? i wish we could articulate why we care about them and fight so much for them but we cant yet we still do.

Are we fighting a losing battle? Should I give up and let them go..?

Theyre the only other person (other than another ex-friend) that could also sense and communicate with my tulpas without my tulpas using me to communicate(i didnt even know that was possible until i met the friend this post is about) and im terrified to lose someone else i can fully and completely trust this with, i love my tulpas and i love my friend but im so conflicted on if i should let them go or not, theres no real reason for me to stay and there's hundreds of reasons for me to leave so why do i stay.. do i like the pain? Well, no, but it's also oddly... comforting..?? The almost rush of emotions i get when they trigger my DPD by leaving or showing signs of leaving is... It's not *good*, but it's also sometimes the only thing I'll feel for weeks or days. Do i like the fact that i know them well enough to know how to mot trigger them and to almost keep them near enough so that they *dont* want to leave and trigger my DPD..? The first bit yes, the last bit feels almost like manipulation and im so fucking conflicted on what to do here if anyone has any advice pls lmk

Yes, this friend is the only close irl friend i have atm, i guess also the closest thing to an FP i have rn also but i hesitate to even consider calling them that given how rocky our friendship has been, yes theyre practically emotionally abusive to me but i know they dont mean it and i havent exactly been an innocent little lamb here either, maybe we are too toxic for eachother, or maybe we're exactly what the other needs, either way i dont fucking know anymore

-🌌✨️

(I am so so sorry to the mods that have to read this, i got so far off track, reminder to hydrate and get some nutrition also posture, unclench your jaw and sleep well yall)

(thank you! take care of yourself as well)

[cannibal-nightmares]

did you know may is mental health awareness month?

text under the read more: an unreality ramble about my dog. he is a good boy.

have a peaceful song -

where do I even begin

I guess I'll start with that I don't like talking about my delusions. there's some I want to talk about but can't because they're either scary and/or too confusing in that theyre too real. or im "not allowed" to. but this one exists in a neutral space, so a neutral story this will be

I only got him when he was 1½ years old and he was kenneled at the shelter w another dog identical to him, but if he wasn't someone's service/emotional support animal, then he must have been in a past life. or he has a human consciousness. or something. my friends joke about the latter often but I'll get there in a second. the way he responds to my emotions and actions is uncanny. he is a rather quiet dog, but if he notices me freeze up and go quiet to an uncharacteristic degree, he will very blatantly try to get my attention. if I lie on the floor from anxiety, he will lie on my legs; if I lie on the floor in being depressed, he will get in my face. he's intervened self harm (namely hitting, but, if he's alert, he's interrupted trichotillomania episodes). The thing is, idk where he gets it from. I didn't train him to do any of these things

my friends joke that's he's "just a dude." "a man in a dog's body" etc. it *is* a funny joke. he likes people more than other dogs; his eye contact is oddly human-like (ask my friends). it *is* a funny joke, and the following isn't directly related, but I do have great fears about him. some of which the noise isn't going to let me say outloud here but. what I can: sometimes I fear it's true--an organic thought outside of what my friends have said, the two ideas don't feel the same--or perhaps that he was someone in a past life. or is a positive-neutral force sent to look after me. idk. it's hard to explain why while it would be/is theoretically positive, how it is still unnerving. and how it feels like something will change in one direction or another when I post this. I digress. He's just a guy. I have bigger fears on it, but that's the simple of it.

A coworker asked and suggested why I don't get a service dog. at first, I considered the question as courteous, but then realized... I struggle to walk my current dog, if I am honest. I do it, I take him out every day, etc, but as much as I got a dog to help me w paranoia, it has not curbed it. in ways, in ways, it has made it worse. countless of times I have tried to walk him around the block, made it halfway, and turned around due to feeling like a force was watching me, like something was waiting around the corner, like there were traps ahead, and many other more specific and pertinent things I am not allowed to say here (plus it'd be safer if I didnt). taking him outside is like flipping on a geiger counter to gauge the state of the day. I feel really bad for him in this. I can't imagine trying to get a proper service animal in these regards.

My friends like to joke that he's some sort of bending entity in that he's just shaped funny. I mean, he is. His legs are goofy-long, his nose is angled funny off of his snout, his ears are huge. Etc. But--again, separate from what they've said--sometimes I look at him and he doesn't feel real. It's difficult to explain. I look at him and it's like I'm missing something. Like how you can't reach into a tv and grab what's on the screen. idk.

The reason I'm saying all of this is because... As much as I am sometimes scared he isn't real to some degree, I consider that, even if he isn't, I think he's worth "wasting time" on. I love him, he's a good little guy, and so far, at least, everyone is pretending along. Sometimes I pick him up and feel like a question mark is above my head hahaha. Like I'm missing something. But he's worth my time. He's worth my time in the same way daydreaming can be fun. I don't know how to fckng word this. He is good. Real or not, he is good. I can't imagine trying to "prove" his "realness," and I also don't know how. I don't mind devoting time to him, real or not, because he is good. agh. I hope this makes sense. I've been sitting on these thoughts for at least three years now.

[vamprincelawrence]

i’ve seen many posts like “there’s no story like dan and phils” let me prove you wrong i have something in progress

bear with me this post is long and sounds like crazy self-insert fanfiction but i just want to share because i still can’t believe i’m doing this

basically there’s a blogger i’ve been following for a while. we have many shared interests and i had a dream of contacting him and had a very hopeless romantic mindset that we could become friends, but i never did anything because of my mental health issues that stopped me

but one time he had a livestream and i got bold enough to ask him if he was okay with fanart, he said yes. so i sent him a couple sketches and he was so happy about them that he reposted them to his blog, obviously crediting me and asking for permission first

since then i started commenting on his posts more and we had some small conversations, but it was still something

he also admins a community where goth people can post their pictures, and i appear there fairly often. he was at least aware of my existence before we had our first conversation. so one time i attached a link to my own blog. he never shares links to blogs he likes but for some reason he reposted the link to mine saying something like “hey follow a fellow vampire :D”. mind you, NOBODY ASKED HIM TO DO THAT and to this day i have no clue why i was the only person he promoted.

some time passed and i noticed that one of the commenters on my blog had a very similar way of speaking to him, so i checked out the account. it was him, just his personal account, so can you imagine my reaction to us being mutuals

more time passes, i posted something about making a new item of clothing. he comments, “i can send you a few books on historical clothing if you want”. of course i do what do you mean so he sends it and we have a normal conversation! which felt so surreal to me, like here’s the person i idolize and here’s us talking casually like we’re friends.

it was his birthday a couple months ago, and i made another piece of art for him which he also reposted. he also set it as his profile picture on some anime website??? and captioned his repost like “there’s the gentleman who made this, i’m not saying anything but you could probably commission something from him, JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE, NO OBLIGATIONS OR ANYTHING”

since then we both shared comments on our posts, and rarely had private conversations about sewing. he is always very supportive and interested in what i’m making, and so am i, so our discussions can last for hours.

then he recommended a movie out of nowhere, which i really liked! we had many conversations about the movie and he still sends me content about it, just because he thinks i’d like it (i guess), and he still recommends me stuff i might enjoy, still gives me sewing tips and generally treats me like a friend even if we never really established our friendship

but things got even crazier when he started mentioning me on his main. just recommending my blog or sharing my art is one thing, but he addressed me directly in one of his posts. for context, i once commented about his new earrings looking flimsy, i was worried they might break because they looked kinda heavy. this guy posts a video showing the earrings off, and it starts with addressing ME like “see, monsieur (my username), they’re just fine, no need to worry:)”. i did not ask for proof, i did not ask to be addressed but thanks i guess

another thing was him mentioning me alongside the blogs that promoted his content. mind you, we’re talking blogs with thousands of followers and mainly talking about the goth community, and mine looked so out of place with my 80something followers and mostly personal posts. and honestly, i didnt really promote him much, aside from the piece of fanart i did for him???

“there’s no story like dan and phil’s”, well guess who stalked their crush on social media and now receives friendly texts from them at one in the morning. believe in russian goth dan and phil and wish me luck on my journey to my dream