#what an idiot ]

[iatnen]

If he believes it then it must be true…

More Daniel getting absolutely prankt by Seb — Divination edition

I didn’t color it this time cuz I got lazy….. IT’S NEARLY 3AM LEAVE ME ALONE !!!!!

[asukiess]

>be Nathalie

>boss’s wife/your friend of thirteen years that you’ve fallen in love with is dying

>she entrusts you with her son’s safety (lol) and to keep an eye on her garbage waste of a husband (lol) in videos you cry to in the dark (lol)

>wife dies

>aforementioned garbage waste of a husband orders you to destroy these tapes after you show him

>you don’t

>he immediately starts trying to get her back and ignores his son in the process

>you find this endearing. I guess. and help him. despite the videos. that you cry to. cannot stress that enough

>fall in love with husband

>fake marry husband to control the son you were meant to protect

>try to kill husband. actually try and murder him in front of her corpse

>you die

>he dies

>she dies. again

[cottonlemonade]

Plan B

word count: 1015 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Kuroo x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff, pining

warnings: none

synopsis: he is trying to convince you to go out with him

The café was in its typical morning lull when you came in. After the coffee rush of the business crowd and students on their way to class there were now only a few people seated comfortably around the small round tables, chatting idly and enjoying a piece of quiet in the hustle of a new Monday. This was your favorite time of the day. The early spring sun was shining happily through the large front windows, making the dark wooden walls appear as if dipped in honey. The smell of freshly brewed coffee mixing with the soothing scent of cookies, all amidst the faint sound of traffic humming underneath the soft clanking of spoons gave you a deep sense of calm.

After the daily round of hellos and how-are-yous, you put on your black apron and got to work in the kitchen, starting on the preparations for lunch.

“Manager?”, an hour later as you just put the finishing touches on a batch of orange drizzle muffins, one of your baristas poked his head through the door and gave you a look. You sighed and joined him in the front by the cash register. Sure enough the tall man waited for you, a wide grin across his handsome face.

“No.”, you told him before he even got the chance to say anything.

“And good morning to you, too.”

“No.”, you said again, beginning to prepare his usual order of simple green tea.

“Just one cup of coffee, we don’t even have to leave the premises.”

“400 yen, please.”

He counted out a small stack of coins on the counter and crossed his arms.

“Where is your cheer squad today?”, you asked, referring to his usual companions of a broad guy with spiky gray hair and a smaller one whose smile rivaled the sun in brightness. Needlessly supervising the last drops of hot water in the to-go cup, you made sure to add the exact amount of tea leaves to a little bag, just so you didn't have to look at him and his ridiculously confident smirk.

“Eh, I think they got tired of you rejecting me.”

“Interesting, any chance that’ll happen to you, too?”

“Sure, I’ll stop”, he slid over to where you were finishing up his order and lowered his voice, “when you stop blushing whenever I ask you out.”

He accepted his order with a wink. “Thank you. See you tomorrow.”

When the door closed behind him, you found your barista leaning against a counter with a cocked eyebrow.

“That makes seven!”, he announced, pointing to a small blackboard on the back wall where you usually wrote down the groceries needed that week. In the lower left hand corner he and the rest of the staff had begun to keep a tally of how often the guy had asked you out so far.

Seven times in three weeks. You smiled against your better judgment. You knew not to take him too seriously. Knew it was just a game to him. When he came in for the first time you had almost dropped a mug, because how could someone look this casually seductive?!

It wasn’t that you didn’t have the urge to say Yes just for the hell of it. But you weren't in the mood to be a short-lived plaything for a guy who probably only thought chubbies were easy. And thus began a regular routine of rejecting him. You didn’t know whether you actually wanted him to stop or if saying No to him had just become a reflex. A wise one probably.

Kuroo groaned and gently hit his head against his desk. Of course the thought that he might be an actual creep for asking you out so much had occurred to him but when he made his initial attempt, you had said Yes at first before immediately changing your answer to No. How on earth could he prove to you that he wasn‘t kidding when he told you that you were on his mind all day? Your smile, your voice, your exceptionally squishable body all brought new amounts of cute-aggression into his life.

At this point he was running out of options. Maybe… maybe he should just wait until you approached him instead - if you ever would, that was. He needed a new idea.

And so, one misguided day, he listened in on the gossip of his coworkers who talked about what mundane things they found attractive in a guy. And that’s how we got here:

Kuroo sat at a large four seater table in the corner of your café. Papers were strewn about, magazines lay open for references. He had loosened his tie and opened the top two buttons of his crisp white shirt; his reading glasses were pushed back onto his nose in regular intervals. It was warmer today. So warm that he had discarded his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, wristwatch glinting in the soft glow of the afternoon sun. He gave a little frown and absentmindedly bit his bottom lip as he consulted one of the articles, sometimes silently mouthing along to paragraphs he read, twirling the pen in his long fingers. He lifted a page to read the next, making a note on a separate sheet, the muscles in his forearm taut while he wrote.

He looked up at nowhere in particular, then closed his eyes and stretched his tired neck, the open shirt tightening around his broad shoulders, the line of his jaw highlighted by the golden light beaming through the large windows…

"Sir.", a waitress stepped professionally to the table, a towel neatly tucked in the waist cord of her apron, hands politely folded in front of her stomach.

"Yes?"

"The manager isn’t here today."

His cheeks started to burn, "Why- I mean… what?"

"And while we do appreciate what you do for the ambiance", a subtle gesture pointed out the girls, women and the barista staring, some even holding up their phone camera, giggling behind their hands, "this isn’t a library, so please order something or free the table."

"…O-of course."

[part 2]

[icallhimjoey]

Where are those new quiet place pics from? I tried to look on alex wolfs insta and theyre not there

alex tagged joe as joe biden and then deleted the whole post and i cant stop LAUGHING

[protagonistically]

DC really gaslit us into thinking Tim was the smart one, when really he's just the family dog.

[the-ozzie]

When he calls you ignorant...

Sebastian Little Bitch Sallow has such a way with words.... sighhhhhhh

[mxtxfanatic]

I am still extremely baffled that someone wholeheartedly believes that JC could be LWJ's equal in any capacity. Someone in the notes said that it's hinted at because JC apparently inherited WWX's strengths after the core transfer but I don't think that's how it works at all. JC stans with their mental gymnastics for their "strongest" yet "most helpless babygirl" baffle me to no end.

Saying that Jiang Cheng “inherits” Wei Wuxian’s strength because of the golden core exchange as if everything that makes a person a good martial artist comes exclusively from having a golden core is the type of loser ass idea that Jiang Cheng would loathe to have associated with him. No place in the story really talks about Jiang Cheng's abilities, past or present. He seems to hold his own in most fights, but he is also never in situations where the fights are fair (like him accidentally attacking Lan Wangji while Lan Wangji is distracted by Wei Wuxian's qi deviation). He has also never been the equal of Wei Wuxian in either lifetime.

What we get is his post-“Wei Wuxian Resurrection” mentality surrounding picking his battles:

The thing that Jiang Cheng hated the most was to be disadvantageous during a fight. Without complete confidence in his success, he would not consider fighting with Lan WangJi.

—Chapt. 8: Arrogance, exr

And then we have the life-or-death battle between Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng, which despite Jin Guangyao being a notoriously weak opponent, Jiang Cheng still loses. So if we are even playing nice by saying that Jiang Cheng might be equal to Lan Wangji in raw power alone (a claim with no proof whatsoever), he is definitely inferior in strategy because he is easily distracted in battle and allows his enemies to use his weaknesses—that he made publicly known—to lead him to defeat. Jiang Cheng walked into Guanyin Temple, whip blazing like some sort of hero, and all it took was a five-minute convo he allowed jin Guangyao to bait him into to get him stabbed in the chest (chapt. 101 in exr if you want a refresher on the culmination of this man's character arc as a failure). Pathetic wannabe hero.

[kelluinox]

by your own logic didn’t everyone supporting Israel help kill every Palestinian civilian in Gaza? You can’t have it both ways

"By your own logic"

G-d, idiots gain access to the internet and suddenly believe they're Einstein level geniuses when they have the geopolitical intelligence and knowledge and moral compass that's worse than Putin's.

No, you know why? Because every single loss of civilian life is only on Hamas, therefore only those who support Hamas are complicit in death and destruction. Who started the war by slaughtering and raping 1200 people and kidnapping 251? Hamas. Who built a maze of terror tunnels that rivals the Moscow metro beneath Gaza civilian infrastructure? Hamas. Who builds terror bases in hospitals, civilian bedrooms, and schools? Hamas. Who shoots rockets from schools, hospitals, mosques, and from across the street of UN buildings? Hamas. Who hides hostages in the middle of refugee camps? Hamas. Who hides hostages in tunnels beneath civilians? Hamas. Who uses civilians as human shields? Hamas. Who continues holding hostages and thus prolonging this war? Hamas. Who steals aid and beats up civilians when they try to get to that aid? Hamas.

It's ALL Hamas. And every single Palestinian who supports and actively aids Hamas, including the "journalists" who hold hostages and then whine about "Israeli war crimes" in Al Jazeera articles.

But let's for a second entertain your "logic", shall we? Let's apply it to a different conflict since your jew hate and love of terror is inhibiting your already poor judgment.

Are you going to start crying about the "civilian suffering" in Kursk? Shebekino? Belgorod? Are you going to start condemning Ukraine for retaliating against a war of conquest Russia started? Who do you hold responsible there, hm? Maybe... oh I don't know... the piece of shit who started it because he wanted to build his empire and spread Russkiy Mir- Putin? Well? Are you?

"By your own logic"

You wouldn't know logic if you were hit over the head with it.

[walmart-miku]

Happy kim dokja death day

[postyxmendes]

that man is so fucking embarrassing my God…Sabrina sister the woman that you are bc that album got that man SHOOK 🫨

what dirt does that other girl have on him….

[ichangemyusertoomuch]

Gwen: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Jack: You people already know too much about me.

Ianto: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

[willifaint]

Casteel after accidentally falling in love with Poppy

[icallhimjoey]

JOE GOT CUTOUT OF THE GLAM BOT LMAOOOOOOOO

AS HE SHOULD HAVE because what the FUCK was he even doing?!

[susieskinner93]

you did say you could fish!!

[olympiansowl]

ALSO:

“We cannot give rings to men…the risk of corruption is too great” and it focus on Pharazon.

That man is going to get a ring, right? I thought it would be weird to get Sauron to go to Numenor AGAIN and AGAIN as a prisoner, so they might give Pharazon a ring and that will be the “Sauron back in Numenor” arc bc I can totally see this working its way on Pharazon’s mind and giving him the “I just had the brilliant idea of invading a sacred land” arc.

[miraclesnail]

70% into tsats and Will really did just pack a hoodie, food, the sun globe, but no weapon despite a weapon being the one thing that would help him be less useless.