#what a time to be alive lol
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thinking back to the first time i realized what fanfic was.
i was in fifth grade. i just finished reading the hunger games trilogy and my mom and i were obsessed with it. one day, my mom was making dinner and i was using her phone for whatever stupid reason, i searched for more hunger games information and proudly told her i found a book written by peeta’s perspective
it was a fanfiction on wattpad. i sat on the kitchen counter and read fanfiction to my mom while she cooked and eventually, she said very gently “i don’t think suzanne collins wrote this”
i continued reading out loud anyway
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hii everyone !! i’m super excited to be doing this again ! i know i’m putting this out a bit later than usual in the holiday season, but hopefully the form being open for a bit longer than last year will help balance that out lol.
you can fill out this form if you’d like to receive a christmas / holiday card from me this year :)
friendly and important reminder that no one will see any personal information that you choose to enter on the form besides me. also! some things are the same as last years’ form but there are also a few new things i added. i’ll be shipping internationally + domestic. if anyone has any questions, feel free to dm me or send me an ask !!
(also yes i drew the banner myself i am artisté™️ thank u very much) (jk procreate is just a goddess that allows me to be adequate)
#holiday cards#christmas cards#im so excited!!!#allwaswell16#alwaysxlarrie#now that i actually have my license rather than a permit#i can actually drive to the post office whenever i want without having to wait for my mom to be available#AND i don’t work in retail anymore so i have MUCH more free time to do these#what a time to be alive lol
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CONCEPT DOODLES for an AU I dabbled in with a few friends after the winter king episode but kinda forgot about after the Fionna and Cake finale... I decided to revisit it and explore a little more after coming to terms with everything LOL... So, it's another "Winter King doesn't die immediately after his crown gets nuked" AU, but THIS TIME he's just dying really slowly (like Simon in the Betty episode) and ALSO joins Fionna, Cake, and Simon on their search for magic crowns. There's no logic behind this tbh, we just wanted to put him through The Horrors. And make them all friends. But mostly The Horrors. :) (he only gets to live as a treat, because I think he's funny).
Bonus (old screenshot), because this is still funny to me:
#adventure time#atimers#fionna and cake#winter king#simon petrikov#fionna campbell#cake the cat#shared custody au#winter stowaway au#fan art#digital art#flat color#2023#this is my blog so whatevers man... ima just post what I want now... and what I want rn is silly simon AUs LOL...#so expect more of me releasing my stash tomorrow#this AU makes the story like 500x more messy but it's fine it's funny that's the point don't think too hard about it#this is their fault for killing him now I gotta make up scenarios where he is alive#his design is inspired by some doodles my friend crayon did#ALSO I wanted to keep some of his features different from default simon so they're easier to tell apart...#like YEAH they're the same character... but also I just think it'd be fun... if they had subtle differences... because alternate universes#ALSO HE'S PALE BECAUSE HE'S DYING. JUST MAKING THAT DISCLAIMER... HIS SKIN TONE IS KINDA CLOSE TO DYING SIMON IN THE BETTY EP#BUT IN NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES HE'D BE CLOSER TO SIMON'S COLORS
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Alright, so this is basically...an art dump for all the pics i drew when i was trying to draft the ending i wanted my Odile looping Au 'Like a Wheel Ever Turning' which...is not even SLIGHTLY how this fic is going to end now, but while figuring that out i still like draw all this and had to do SOMETHING with it.
So figured I'd post it and be like 'hey! fun Odile looping act 5 boss fight vibes not connected to anything else!' since like...that basic IS what they are at this point lol.
The one cool idea i loved that i think is now FIRMLY ditched is the act 5 boss fight starts when Odile uses wish craft to splinter herself into two halves.
The 'old/current' her that is meant to be her coldly logical side, and a younger 'copy' version, which is meant to be the childish irrational side...that is what's stopping her just shutting down the time loop because she can't figure out how to be happy with her friends leaving.
I mean, if you murder the part of you that WANTS the wish to come true, that's basically a 'get out of time loop free card' right? Right! Totally sound logic!
Yes the 'young' version of her firmly believes that she's real, and also also got memories going up to about age 21, and also that she ought to be in Ka Bue not HERE among these french weirdos.
Also yes again, a 'young' Odile is EXACTLY as unhinged about this as you'd expect a 21 year old to be upon finding out that apparently the 'real' her think murdering her is the correct solution to this problem!
The shift of the fight was meant to have the inverse 'colors' shift from one version to the other by the end, wrapping up with the point where the 'original' Odile is forced to have a heart to heart with the personification of her perceived 'worst' qualities.
Pretty sure the vibes for this ending was a lot more focused on the resolution of having deeply complex feeling about EXPRESSING emotion directly to other people. That along with a side helping of how isolating it is to be perceived as a 'real' adult such that you can't be weak enough to ask anyone for help. Because really if you can't even be that then why are you any different then when you were irritating mess of a youth?
Not saying any of that isn't still present in the story, but like...there is a LOT of other stuff going on, and those themes are now linked into many other ones too, and that's not even TOUCHING on how Loop's been...somewhat complicating my redrafting lol.
...Also I might have drawn/plotted this version before i knew about two-hats lol. THAT also is a factor.
Anyway! Still liked all of these enough to want to do SOMETHING with them, and figured this worked, so i could like map out my thoughts on them, even if i never got to write this.
#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#odile looping au#I might have written out like...way too many edgy and utterly disjointed notes for this fight too?#but none of THAT compelled enough for me to want to try and even reread it lol#drew all of this in fever state of creativity back in like september i think?#kept having the thought of 'oh i'll make SOME of it work in the main story'#HA no i didn't - that was the denial and wishful thinking talking#Like there was even a version where the 'young' odile had to do the whole final loop with the group#and that's what forced Loop to join them - to keep her alive no matter the 'other' her's attempts to kill her#while 'old' odile took the place of the king during that final run#'young' odile was DEEPLY weird at the rest of the group for the record - while they were also weirded out + low key endeared#Also before the even knew who the 'final battle' was against young odile HAD loudly declared she was willing to die for 'you weirdos' soooo#Ah to be young unhinged and realised people CAN love you despite that...and that apparently this is reason to commit a murder to AVOID#...if i had a nickle for everytime i wrote a odile looping au where she tried to murder herself#i'd have two nickles#which isn't a lot but ect ect#this one is WAY more serious with it tho lol#my art#like a wheel ever turning au
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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Happy one year Anne-iversary to the end of Amphibia!
A fantastic finale to an unforgettable show. I'll always remember watching "The Hardest Thing" at 2 am with my siblings and crying my eyes out :'))
#Amphibia#amphibia fanart#marcy wu#sasha waybright#anne boonchuy#my art#... I actually watched it in January while waiting for the next Owl House episode to come out so it still feels fresh lol#kinda cheesy but I was reading some interviews with Matt on the finale and how it references other media and it struck me#Shows like these don't just die when they end... they live on through their impact and influence on everything that follows it#Imagine what the next generation of writers and animators will make!! I'm sad it's over but also so hyped for what comes next#I'm so happy to be alive at the same time these kinds of stories are being told through animation#Whew okay rant over
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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sole survivor!shepard and ashley’s friendship is so important to me. two people who survived an impossible situation, lost almost all their friends, and just. kept going. neither of them really had time to mourn, to process anything. shepard shipped off to N training, and ash is reassigned to the normandy and it’s just go here, on to the next mission. you survived. you’re fine. so what if you don’t feel like you deserve this? so what if your “success” cost you your friends? you’re lucky. right?
no one really gets it, and people bring it up like it’s something you should be proud of. and you can’t really blame them, how could they know? you lived, that's impressive! no one understands what it feels like to be the last person standing, surrounded by the bodies of people you failed care about.
but shepard knows. ashley knows. they don't have to talk about it much, but it's nice to have someone who understands. who you can turn to with your doubts and your questions and your grief. someone who can hear you out and say "i've been there" and mean it. someone who knows WHY you have to push yourself, why you have to be good enough— you have to be worth the lives of all the people who died to get you where you are. (how far are you going to drive yourself? are you trying to be a martyr?)
but no matter what, one of them dies. even if it’s temporary in shepard’s case. the only other person who got it. another friend, gone. whether shepard loses ashley on virmire or ashley loses shepard on the normandy, one of them is left behind. ash outlives two of her closest friends only a few months after losing her entire squad.
it makes me think about foundation, where after ash talks to rasa/brooks, she remembers one of her squad telling her "luck is for the lonely." i really think that would be on her mind again after both virmire and the destruction of the normandy. sure, she keeps getting "lucky" but always being the last one standing is pretty damn lonely too.
#mass effect#ashley williams#commander shepard#female shepard#oc: alexa shepard#and i think that's part of why ash sounds so hurt on horizon.#thinking about how lonely the last two years must have been. she doesn't want to let anyone get too close#look what happened last time. now shepard's back and she KNOWS how much it hurts to lose all of your friends#and shep STILL didn't tell her she was alive. extenuating circumstances but still!#not only is shepard working w/ terrorists--your friend would never just let you think they were dead. . . right???#alexa's standing there trying to think why the hell she didn't try harder to reach out (for both VS ofc but esp. w ash)#all her reasons seem really hollow when ash is standing right in front of her :(#ANYWAY i'm rambling i'll shut up now lol
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Varadha touching his nose ring while looking at Deva, remembering the time when Deva himself that put it there for him with his own blood in his hand, remembering the fact that it was Deva who protected and kept his "little honor" intact.
#salaar#varadeva#prithviraj sukumaran#varadha rajamannar#devaratha raisaar#what deva didn't know was the fact that putting a nose ring on a mannar yourself in front of many people as their witness#was considered as wedding ritual#that's why Varadha was holding his breath because there's also blood in deva's hand to seal the oath#lol in Varadha's heart he considered himself a married man#but Deva didn't know that#no one told him#this is obviously made up custom I think in my head lmao#funny scenario in my head is that Varadha was staring so intensely at Deva wondering if he should stop him or not#contemplating in his head if he wanted to be married at such a young age#but in the other hand he didn't want to embarrass Deva in front of many people because he was determined to put the nose ring himself#every mannar knows that Deva was Varadha's husband as well#the only one who's left in the dark was Deva perhaps if he told his mother about the detail his mother might tell him#he clearly told the event after his mother asked him how did he got the electric scars#but of course between Deva and Varadha both never mentioned the part where Deva put the ring on#that's why the first thing that he did when he met deva was to run into his embrace#he was like I didn't have to feel like a widower anymore my husband is here after 25 years alive and healthy#then he also didn't hesitate to sleep on Deva's lap#he is his husband after all#who's going to tell Deva that he's a married man#thinking about older Varadha trying his best to give a hint for Deva to consummate their marriage#they have waited long enough#25 years he has been waiting for him and he only has a little patience left especially if his Deva has grown into such a fine strong man#Deva of course never shy away from Varadha’s touch#but he also never do it more than that only a cuddle and a kiss on his neck one time and never more was he not into varadha the same way#just imagine the misunderstanding the chaos the pining and just how confused they both feel like bad communication at its finest
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Oh my GOSH YIKES
NOT LIZZIE BORDEN AAAAAAHH 😨😨😨
I was waiting to hear anyone else say something about this but I haven't seen anything yet and then here is the Epilogue and It looks an awful lot like he is writing the NAME again AH 😩😩😩
#identity v#idv#her story has given me the heebiejeebies since I first heard it as a kid UHG plz noooooooooooo#she is like technically alive during the alleged time period these manor games are going on sooooooo uhhhhhhhhhhhhh 1860s-1920s#that would be so weird i dunno about this lol#i mean there is jack the ripper too but he is anonymous and unsolved and here is Borden like uuuhhhhggggg#i mean her involvement is unsolved too but like -side eyes- that is some big 'sure jane' vibes. she had to have been involved in some way#helped plan the dang thing or something#but who knows maybe she was innocent 🙃#i did think it was odd that they were like 'weird nursery rhyme' bruhhh she is like literally still alive rn with yall what do you mean
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LESBIANS STEP ASIDE MY MAN IS FINALLY HERE
#honkai star rail#honkai#hsr#hsr sunday#sunday#honkai sunday#honkai star rail sunday#im skipping everyone for him#my wife is so pretty 😭#what a fucking time to be alive#AND ON MY BIRTHDAY TOO???#oh yeah its my birthday lol#this is an excellent gift i want 7 of these
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~ Batman: Knightfall
Jean-Paul really traumatized these kids, and he was actually trying to be a good Batman. Poor boy.
But also, Leslie is really looking for a way to blame Bruce (she doesn't know it's not Bruce under the cowl). The kid was talking of what could have happened IF Batman DIDN'T save them, and she's like "So, it's Batman's fault".
#leslie thompkins#bruce wayne#jean paul valley#batman#dc comics#my ramblings#I'm in my era of speaking up about my beef with Bruce's surrogate parents#leslie thinks the worst of bruce like girl be nicer to your son he's a good man#also thinking about that fic I fell upon that one time where Leslie sided with Jason killing people lol#like no grandma Leslie would destroy Jason for what he is doing she doesn’t excuse the tiniest amount of violence#and she has been working in Crime Alley for longer than he has been alive#knightfall
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Hi gang sorry I like burnt out and exploded here's a wip + Gabriel face headcanon. Righteous hands of the father or whatever.
Don't look too hard at the hand anatomy it'll get fixed like. Eventually.
#ultrakill#my art#gabriel ultrakill#wip#having like a Bad Time irl bc I can't get a job and have no income among other things#which is like fine bc I live with my mom but also it keeps me from being treated even remotely like an adult lol#Ig my point is art is really hard when being alive is already really difficult. Or something.#The autism makes me burn out just existing even when things are going well. So. You can probably imagine what it's like when they aren't#Not that I need to justify anything to a bunch of people on the internet I don't know but hey if you care about what's going on I guess
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Anyone still calling late game Katsuki an abuser in 2024 is just not paying attention. Full stop.
#bkdk#bakudeku#every time I see an anti post they try to define bkdk shippers as just masking their hate of Izuku#or as inappropriately labeling them as childhood friends and that being the basis of the whole ship#or as of acting on the hand hold scene LIKE KATSUKI DID FOR ELEVEN PLUS YEARS IN CANON without realizing that it went sour that first time#or as abuse apologists#they like to whittle katsuki down to the black and white bully even now#in 2024#after everything he’s done#all the growing#they like to whittle Izuku down to a helpless child who can’t find it in himself to stand up for himself#even though canon Izuku not only tolerates Katsuki’s moods#he appreciates him and understands him#and finds joy in being around him#literally I get it if you see them as platonic only#that’s so super chill and an excellent dynamic#but people throwing hate at bkdk shippers only ever out themselves as not understanding or comprehending or even knowing the source material#at all#on the surface Katsuki yells at izuku for literally nothing and it definitely rubs you the wrong way if you are only paying surface level#attention#but after dvk pt 2 he literally only yells because it’s familiar#it’s easier to respond that way than to cope with the guilt that’s eating him alive whenever he sees how happy Izuku is just to be around h#he’s flustered#he’s got a crush#but doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to understand what it is or how to deal yet#Katsuki Bakugo is a flawed character who puts in the work to change and if you’re not acknowledging that you are not paying attention#anyway#lol the post a while ago that said ‘if you ship bkdk just admit you hate Izuku and move on’??????#lol I love him so much AND I ship bkdk because canon tells me that’s what he wants#at least I’m paying attention enough not to think he has to be babified
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this literally refused to post for a few solid minutes. i miss him.
#epithet erased#epithet fanart#rick shades#wizard.png#BROTHERRRRRR#something that pissed me off sm while drawing this#while coloring i use a color to fill in everything#and go over it l8r#so i grab a random purple i think vibes close enough to his color#im thinkin#it should be fine to color over i probably wasnt that close#i grab an image of rick shades to colorpick from to kinda get my colors together#like i havent drawn this man in forever i cant remember the last time i did#literally fucking#like 1 degree of hue and saturation off from the purple of his hair#i had to change my fill in color#which like cool i guess i can do that??#made me so mad man#tbf i play what the hex for funsies#and spend like half my time alive staring at color palettes#anyways i gotta. sleep.#i have work and it is 6am LOL
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