#what a terrible place
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Gente, what do you listen/watch while you draw, for me is hindi movie's soundtrack or murder cases... anyone else?
Of course I listen other music, like glee, you know real music, but I'm on my Bollywood Era right know, and I love it.
Murder cases are my fav specially from DinoVlogs, though I also listen to movie reviews or analysis.
This is my subtle way of telling you I am a little weird and also trying to draw again, until now...its been hard, but hopefully I would share some drawing with you soon.
(Also love the Tom Holland LipSync but it distract me too much, if you dont know what am I talking about you dont dereve to know)
#useless info dump#me trying to get out there again#by out there I mean the internet#I hate outside#what a terrible place#any one else watch#hindi movies#?#is a tag so maybe?
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On your most recent From the Couch post... is that a dragon tattoo I see poking out of Zuko's collar? ...................may we see more of it?
You may see all of it.
#dema answers#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#atla art#prince zuko#tales from the couch#atla modern au#atla au#zuko art#zuko fanart#atla zuko#Tattooed Zuko#For context!#He got those tattoos during what would be S2 in this AU#This was right before being accepted back home. So he got them during a—let's say—crossroads of destiny *wink wink*#Those are his shame tattoos. He's terribly embarrassed by them so the Gaang tease him about them. (He's secretly very proud of them tho)#It's all about the duality inherent to fire (and himself!) as well as protection.#The red dragon has his back at all times. It protects Zuko from his past—from everything that he has left behind and is walking away from.#The Blue dragon guards him front unknown threats. It curls over his left arm (his most vulnerable side) and rests its head over Zuko's heart#It's all very symbolic#Zuko loves his tattoos but is also embarrassed and ashamed of how he got them. He was in a very bad place at the time.#If he got the chance to get his tattoos done *now*—he probably wouldn't do it.#He wouldn't change a thing tho. They're part of who he is. A reminder of who he was.#Also they're kinda hot#So that helps#Also...I forgot to draw the blue dragon's body on the back of his shoulder so... Oops?#Let us all ignore that and focus on the sun/starbust tattoo on his chest instead#the gaang
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have been in a qijiu/qiyuan mood lately, and i was thinking about an au where shen yuan, upon transmigrating, actually loses his memories. he wakes up and has no idea who he is, where he is, who the man at his bedside is. not a clue. the only thing he has is his muscle memory, his sharp recognition senses (he's experiencing a lot of déjà-vu), and blurry fractions of memories that he can't quite make out.
thing is, the memories of both shen yuan and shen jiu aren't actually gone, they start to intermingle, to mix up, a little sister in princess pajamas beside an older brother wearing dirty rags, a bright screen that displays mountain peaks and glittering caves. he's kind and generous the way someone who has never had to worry about food or money is, but he gets vicious and defensive when someone gets too close. sometimes he says cruel things and doesn't even understand why himself.
neither identity fits anymore, both names right and wrong at the same time. it's just... shen qingqiu.
and while everyone else might adjust to this just fine, yue qingyuan does not. because that is shen jiu, but it isn't, but it has to be, but not always. he gets flashes of his childhood friend when shen qingqiu gets viciously defensive over nothing, when he scowls and scoffs and rolls his eyes when he thinks people can't see, but then he smiles, and laughs, and tilts his head in a way that is completely foreign. he likes beasts. shen jiu never liked beasts. but he loves tanghulu, like shen jiu. sweet sugary things. the first time xiao jiu cuddles up into his hug, he cries.
the way he sometimes clings to yue qingyuan when he has a bad day can't be him, but then he says "qi-ge" exactly like shen jiu would and damn near snarls at anyone who gets too close, and he's aggressively possessive the way he was when they were kids. but then he pulls away and apologizes, like shen jiu would never do.
and he never demands anything, scrubbed clean from roughness and filth and selfish want, will act perfect and smiling and pleasant, never burdensome. like he's completely forgotten where he came from, what he was. like the pampered nobleman's son who could afford to be kind. the only time his old self comes fully back up is when he feels threatened or scared or angry, like a trauma response that kicks in to protect himself. and then yue qingyuan starts to wonder if maybe it is. maybe the shen jiu he knows was only ever fear and self-preservation, and the one he is now is a shen jiu without the chains and shackles and scars.
yue qingyuan doesn't know if he's happy for him, if it's for better or for worse. he does know that he feels protective and responsible for this new version xiao jiu has become.
meanwhile shen qingqiu, even when he regains enough of his memories to realize he was once a different person, doesn't know who he is anymore. both, maybe. or neither. he feels bad for taking away yue qingyuan's friend, but in his heart he can't help but think qi-ge is his brother, and no one else's. when he manages the peak he feels like he's taking credit for another's accomplishments, but he remembers suffering for it, he remembers what it took to get there.
#more guilt for everyone!#yue qingyuan being so touch starved and desperate that he takes advantage the first chance he has#by cooking and making tea and holding his xiao jiu#shen jiu calls him qi-ge and he KNOWS what that means#but he can't bring himself to say anything when shen jiu is seeking comfort in him#he wants to be shen jiu's place of home and comfort so painfully desperately badly that hell take anything and not let go#and shen qingqiu struggles with the intense need to be close to yue qingyuan. to be held and comforted#because he feels so terribly lonely and rejected and abandoned#even when he knows that part of him has no right to feel that way because it has nothing to do with him#anyway i was in the mood for pain#hope you like it#svsss#scum villain#qijiu#qiyuan#shen jiu#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#amnesia au
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warlock wizard Wally scribbles... Thinkings! oh and a bonus bard-ish Barnabys in the corner for flavor
outfit ramblings:
first of all that is a Terrible rendition of what Home looks like in my head. i just needed to fill empty space </3
the staff was the toughest part honestly. bc it Had to be paintbrush-themed, but then halfway through scribbling i was like "oh shit. there are only so many ways to draw a paintbrush-wizard-staff and Weevmo already hit it out of the park." so if you're seeing similarities! you're right! i tried to make it as different as i could! there is Inspiration from their marvelous design, however accidental or subconscious! Apologies!
he gets a pointed hood instead of a hat because a) it looks great on him! and b) it has less of a chance of messing up his hair! also c) it helps muddle the difference between Wizard and Warlock. typically hoods have evil/duplicitous connotation - blur the lines! i want his long gloves and forearm wraps to have the same vibe. his neckerchief is a big help in hiding Home's seal!
his layered (loosely apple-themed) capelet (which the hood is attached to) has a nice high collar & hides the details of his loose shirt - eye embroidery! and some flowers on the shoulders but yk, mostly eyes. on one side of the shirt buttons has open eyes, the other side they're closed! there's also one big eye on his back!
his belt buckle is two halves of an apple! he wears tall thigh-high boots w/ low heels to feel Taller! he has a book-holster hooked to the back of his belt, which holds his grimoire! and he has a lil thigh-bag that has been magicked to be Bottomless and warps size! he can fit pretty much anything in there! canvases! paint! apples!
his half-skirt thing (idk what the word for it is!) is really plush, like a quilt - his capelet is the same fabric. soft, cozy. sometimes he'll use the skirt thing as a blanket in a pinch, or as a picnic placemat!
is his outfit a little Complicated? is it annoying to replicate? yes and yes. but im a maximalist at heart and Nothing But The Best for the blorbo <3 layers my beloved <3
#i know ive said it before but whenever i make an au its essentially an Exploration in a sense#and this fantasy au ~Bog Edition~ is basically me going#'so wally and his house huh. whats up with that'#and maybe im taking it a bit to the extremes#since home is pretty much warlock wally's god??? sorta? loosely??#well it literally gave wally life and a body. so.#and it also literally took the place of his heart - wally Cannot live without home#they have a fun 'we cant exist without each other now' codependent very devoted kinda unhealthy relationship#wally sometimes has to do terrible things for home#and home will do terrible things in return for wally. even when wally doesnt want them to#and they both love each other very much <3 what kind of love is it <3 fuck if i know! theyre Weird About It though#its the only dynamic an ancient lovecraftian horror & the puppet they gave life & tethered itself to can have!!!#wally wisely keeps home & his 'warlock' status a secret from his friends for as long as he can#they just dont understand his & home's bond smh#scribble salad#welcome home#wh fantasy au#gonna have to workshop barns....#i need to balance the fantasy + hes a distinguished fella + bard#hence the hat. the hat stays.#gotta find the right vest...#and then everyone else if i feel like it....#outfit design is so Grueling but i refuse to keep it simple#there have to be LAYERS it has to be IN CHARACTER i have to put ALL THE EFFORT INTO IT
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art vs artist 2023
#it's been a turmultuous year#this place above all other platforms feels like it's been especially kind to me this year though.#high highs and such terribly low lows#for me and the artist community in general#i can't complain. this year hs been kind to me despite everything#ah#but i miss the month of spiderverse where i felt full to the gills with inspiration and hope for the future#that energy has been severely tempered now#what else what else#i got a cat this year#truly a highlight#i got followed by one of my most influential primary artistic inspirations#on twitter#parasocial maybe but it mattered to me then#tumblr my love i hope you stick around#you're the only place i feel comfortable posting this to#archive
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Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.
The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos
#the kings return to do WHAT?#oh my god they put him in a situation#last year he was solving fake puzzles and this year he is shooting hordes of zombies while trying to chokse#which gate that looks like all the other gates in all the other shooting hordes of zombies games#ooh whats my little phoenix wright up to?#begging to be drooled on by a giant cyclops with gianter boobs?#hell yeah you go little pheonix knight#endure or divorce! what will she pick! blond bimbo and boo monstersinc freeze to death in the cold water#my heart will go on#after their nasty dad ate all the food! the tragedy#oh heres another trailer with that same nasty dad! hes snorkling? where is my daccoon eyed woman WHAT THE FUC#SOMEONE POURED (POOP?) INTO HIS SNORKLE THATS SO TERRIBLE#theyre running away wherre is the bimbo oh its all frozen#everythign froze so fast and now nasty dad is in a winter coat and also changed his entire physique#now hes gathering logs now hes buikding a settlement#damn guess we know what happened after the divorce!#and thats how you know the winter log game is by the same company as (one of many) repair the house game#thry got nasty dad model#and he is GOING places#if yiu ever hear 'i finally found a game that is exactly what they show in the ads!' no you didnt#i would love to play the fat guy fighting a horse for the last drop of water#hes like me fr#but hes too busy building underground rooms with the hot chick who may or may not die#SPEAKING OF HOT CHICKS i love that game where you romance a level 10 babe#not a crook or informant thats her whole job description#level 10 babe#she cqn be romanced by picking her off the ground or by showing her money (which you dont have)#but the other guy does!#i wonder what halpens to her#oh good shes upgraded to mafia wife! good for her and she has some buns in the oven too she must be so happOH NO
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please tell me there are other people obsessed with this show that first aired almost 25 years ago, i'm going feral over here
#the west wing#west wing#seriously guys is there a discord or something i'm losing my mind here#and i'm only on season two so that's clearly a terrible sign#what's a nice kid like me doing in a place like this
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“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!
#a buddy of mine is a server and is getting ROASTED on twitter for complaining about#how often nowadays people will just completely ignore her when she greets them and asks how they are and what can she get them started with#and when they DO finally acknowledge that she Exists they’re rude about it all#and how demoralizing and dehumanizing it is#and of course people have taken this and decided that being told it’s rude to ignore that your server exists is actually ableist#like jesus fucking christ you people can’t do anything huh#like i’m serious i’m ND and have terrible days where i go mute sometimes and you know what i do?#do my best to not go out places that require social interaction but if i Must then i’m not a prick to the people i come across#because my issues aren’t their fault. and i owe it to them to not make their lives harder.#anyway i’m so angry for bailey people are so awful grow up and have some fucking AGENCY
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So, so many queer people, I've noticed, can put themselves in precarious situations wherein they feel accepted by people and the queer person would do anything for those who accept them, even if it is harmful to them, even if it is scary. It feels like you are indebted to those who accept you because you know that isn't the case for every person you meet. To so many queer people, they are afraid to upset others who accept them (or "accept" them) because they are so scared of rejection. This is completely human and completely normal. But that doesn't mean you deserve to be taken advantage of. You deserve to be treated as an equal because you inherently are an equal - to everybody.
Please know that the people who truly, truly respect and care for you will understand when you can't do everything. They will still respect you, because you are a human being. Saying "no" is neutral at worst. You deserve to honour yourself, too.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#i felt this (and feel this) so hard as a trans person and i think that can easily become dangerous...#...because saying 'no' is vital i think. it's something i am so bad at in part because of my queerness and not feeling accepted by it...#...and yes we are responsible for this part of ourselves but also... it does make you vulnerable#genuine support is very important but that isn't the same as being indebted to people for being accepting you know?#i just worry for other queer people who also feel this way and i just want us all to feel more confident in our place and what we deserve...#...because we deserve good things! we deserve to let others down without worrying that we are terrible awful people who won't be accepted
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this one post from @poryphoria has been living rentfree in my head for months. it’s so true. i am so normal about this concept and this theme and this fandom.
alt ending below the cut, based off the project nexus ending. while it’s cool as fuck, i am not sure if it conveys what i wanna convey!! so it’s just here as bonus content
#madness combat#madness project nexus#hank j wimbleton#mc deimos#mc sanford#2bdamned#jebediah christoff#tricky the clown#actual art#i am but a sappy little bitch who just wants all my favourite characters to be happy#but genuinely just. smth smth what it means to be human#i think#because like#yeaj life is meaningless whatever#but not in a bad way#just in the way that there’s no inherent… anything to it#but that doesn’t make it any less worth living! doesn’t make it any less importang or special#that people are here and living#so for this fuckin series to also say much the same thing. because nevada’s all mean and terrible and morally grey yeah#but nevada’s a place full of people being people and making mistakes and living#idk man the original post says it better than i can. it’s just so important to me#is the (original) final segment SAPPY AS FUCK. Yes.#do i care. No.
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silly guys I'm obsessed with
I took massive inspiration from oobbbear's fiddauthor rendition of this template !
#I actually think Sam has a bit more game than where I placed him but mimimimi#To me Gabriel becomes a bit more touch aversed after asmodeus#But he also made out with Rowena so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about#I actually had a lot of fun doing this#I want to hear peoples opinions *rubs hands together deviously*#Sam is smitten by Gabriels terrible flirting to be clear#sabriel#spn gabriel#gabriel spn#sam winchester#sam winchester fanart#spn#supernatural#spn fanart#mine
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What terrible monster made you this way?
#tower of god#jue viole grace#the 25th bam#rachel tog#my art#fanart#i love a woman who hurts cheats and lies to get what she wants. especially when it comes from a place of envy and self hatred.#rachel tog you will always be famous#this is me loving her forever. i love terrible women. we need more of them.
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SJ's internal changes (I recall it was the editor in chief, someone really influential) happening JUST at the same time it was announced the epilogue would be 5 chapters (same week) + the ending not bringing up huge plot points (where the other villains are, why theres no actual Himiko corpse and instead we got Ochako's grief over that assumption, what happened to Dabi, what was the All Might vestige, why the bkdk handhold was off screen when its a big deal for them, who is Deku's dad, etc), letting them linger in the air while trying to make an okay ending + that strange two week break because of "schedule conflicts" + choosing to end BNHA under even more pressure even tho its one of the most important manga in SJ + Horikoshi talking about the ending days after the official release and bringing up how grateful he is for being able to work in SJ, as in past tense (like he is grateful he worked here, but isnt happening again; I say this bc I expected him to say something around the lines of "I hope im able to create something good here again soon!", considering we already know he has another manga project, if I remember correctly)
Thinking about it.
Thinking about how he could let it as it is, or try to pick it up and confirm the things that do matter to his story.
Btw, im not talking about the handhold as a shipper -it was genuinely important for them, as it symbolizes both their new mutual understanding and an acceptance as the new All Might duo thanks to their respective heroisms. It wouldn't be weird to add it in the epilogue, especially considering so many characters hold hands in non romanitc ways, so to choose not to when its arguably the most important one... Idk, it felt really weird as it was the only thing I was sure would get sooner or later.
#grrr talking#I could picture him + his team deciding to not include so many things bc they dont want to waste them so quickly#i dont want to give hope to ppl who dont need it#but it felt weird to end it like that even if I can try to explain it away#the ending wasn't terrible but it skipped huge plot points#and I believe he wanted to explore them much better than 5 chapters#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#when he talked about being content with what he has drawn refers to the backstories of the OFA's users#literally in the same phrase he brings it up#plus he generally does that -he doesnt expand into everyone's backstories in the manga even if he knows the whole story#this isnt about making an open ending its about skipping big topics and themes on purpose#he could leave it as it is sure but if he wanted to actually write having more time and pages to work with#he could#again this isnt about backstories or explaining their world -its about themes he decided to skip like Dabi's and Himiko's fate#he directly didnt bring them up#he could have made the todoroki family visit a grave to finish his story but he didnt#he could have made Ochako bring flowers to a place implying thats were Himiko's corpse is but he didnt#he didnt close their stories#he implied spinner's but didnt close theirs#and the handhold it wasn't he secret he wanted to make them hold hands to symbolize the hero duo#so why not showing a small panel of it too instead of implying it?#shippers would eat it up dudebros would still see it as platonic and heroic
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Ekky Cup Day | 8.17.24 (x)
#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#IM SORRY HE WAS SHIRTLESS ON HIS CUPDAY AND IT ONLY JUST GOT POSTED NOW!?!?!?!#AARON EKBLAD YOU MF-#terribly embarrassing the squeak that wrestled out of my throat#DUDE WHAT THE FUCK#WHAT THE FUCK MAN#I NEED TO JUMP OFF A VERY HIGH PLACE
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hi
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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