#what a journey for him i hate him
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My issue today is how Hua Cheng went from painting huge gorgeous murals of Taizi Dianxia with a tiny little gremlin Hong in the corner, to sculpting one Hua Cheng to match each Xie Lian, like an acknowledgement that his presence is something Xie Lian has always needed. And not even just Crimson Rain at his best, but all Hua Chengs. Even little Hong'er offering a flower. He was needed at every stage of their lives. He always had value.
#I AM UNWELL#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#hualian#invented love#what a journey for him i hate him#tgcf#heaven officials blessing#hua cheng
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Imagine the entirety of the heavenly army pulling up to huaguoshan and this is who theyāre mad at
Qitian dasheng design update ver 2
#at first I was like am I digging a little TOO deep into the empress dowager vibes with this one??? :/#but then the more I thought about it the funnier I found it and the more it made sense to me#like technically he should be younger in this than in my current pilgrim sun design so like#he looks like a very young queen married to someone twice her age#I held back on the excessive tassels in this one lads š it wouldāve looked too crowdedā¦#I kinda hated the silhouette balance on the first one so I took a crack at it again and I like this one better#I know a lot of designs make him look more like the heroic warrior king type but I went for something a little more young and feminine#cuz Iām not like other girls apparently#his headress is like a combo of an empressās and an opera performerās cuz what is swk if not a theatre kid#digital art#my art#qitian dasheng#monkey king#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#journey to the west#jttw fanart#jttw#when youāre mad at me this is who youāre being mad at btw :3c#swkās twink era#WHO SAID THAT#this is still concept art btw lol I wanna draw some studies of this ver later#I love you procreate symmetry tool <3
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This was home.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#blood#Good bye Jiang Disciples. May you live on in the Lan Wangji in lotus pier AU.#This is going to be the start of a bunch of sad scenes I desperately try to undercut with humour.#You may ask where Elle Woods is considering her help was requested.#The canon answer is that she didn't make it there in time. This is the reason why WWX has the pink phone in present day.#It is a favour she owes him out of apology.#I am also making it canon that Jiang Cheng hates Elle Woods for not being there. His two Nemeses in PD-MDZS are Elle and WWX.#This is why Jiang Cheng doesn't have the phone. He would hunt her down but Bruiser bit him really bad last time he tried.#His pride is too hurt to try again.#I don't think I've done a wordless comic in a while - what a fun challenge!#I'm getting lots of practice with backgrounds in the last few comics - I really feel like I'm getting more comfortable with it!#Obviously I still have a long way to go but this is a journey B*)
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*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.
I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.
Point 1: An irresistible opportunity
The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.
In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:
So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (š), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.
What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.
Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.
Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.
When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.
(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)
To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.
Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:
Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?
Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.
Point 2: The potential implications of the setting
Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.
There's a few things that make this theory plausible:
(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.
(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.
(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.
Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.
Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.
And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.
Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.
Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character
So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.
It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.
It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.
@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?
This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.
Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...
Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.
He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.
And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.
In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.
And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:
Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.
...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.
Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.
Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.
Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.
#saw a post about style being one-dimensional and boring and I nearly had a breakdown because what are you TALKING about???#he's so perfectly messed up and terrible and unfiltered and WONDERFUL in all the wrong and right ways#and others have pointed out there's potentially even MORE to style's backstory because of the ācoincidenceā of Lilly meeting with#someone with the same name as the dog Style talks about in his story#listen the story telling in this show drives me inSANE in the best way and i'm baffled at some of the takes i'm seeing#can we at least... let his story play out maybe before dismissing or hating on Style?? its literally ONLY episode 3.#anyway yes its me your resident style apologist back to be unnecessarily emotional about style again#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk meta#style meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#style sattawat#fadelstyle#also FUCK ME dunk is just constantly serving every single episode and i've seen so many posts appreciating joong's acting (RIGHTLY SO!)#but not nearly enough love for the frankly INSANE performance dunk has been giving every single episode#i love him i love him I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY T_T#dunk natachai#ALSO (not that this means i can speak for everyone in a similar circumstance)#but as someone who lost my father to cancer as a teenager i DO understand and relate to the FURY Fadel must have felt in ep 3#and i DO think style was wrong to have treated the situation so lightly#but like literally WHAT in this show sets up any expectation for style to have the emotional maturity to do that?#and also this doesn't make him an inherently bad person ACTUALLY#it makes him an idiot and needing to be taught the right way to respond to people who are grieving. but guess what; he's NOT ALONE??#because let me tell you the amount of times i wanted to punch FULL GROWN ADULTS for giving me āwell meaningā platitudes at my dad's funeral#...but the thing is they DID mean well. they just didn't realise how hurtful their words were#and life is filled with imperfect people who make mistakes and part of our journey is learning from them and trying our best to be kind
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as a native chinese, i feel like some of yall are taking the gods in lego monkie kid a bit too seriously. i understand why it feels iffy to ship / make silly content of deities that people worship irl (eg. nezha, sun wukong) but itās a phenomenon on chinese social media too. c-netizens ship the fictionalized versions of these gods, which the gods of lego monkie kid are. they arenāt the actual gods people worship; theyāre slightly tweaked versions of the book characters, just like any other chinese adaptation or retelling of jttw (and such stories like fsyy) also, no, nezha isnāt a child, in lmk or jttw or sometimes irl. just because heās often depicted in child form doesnāt make him an immortal child. eros / cupid is often depicted as a winged baby, and he has a wife and kids. itās basically the same thing here. nothing in lmk suggests that nezha is a child (his voice, his appearance, his personality etc. all imply he is an adult), and while heās described as youthful in jttw, heās already 1700+ years old by then and gods can shapeshift. people only think heās an immortal baby because thatās a popular depiction of him, since one of his prominent myths is set during his childhood. but as long as youāre talking about the god nezha (fictionalized or the religious figure) and not the human child nezha, then thatās an adult [edit: the last sentence couldve been worded better. i would summarize it as āimmortal youth nezha is a valid depiction and is popularized by mythology, but adult god nezha exists too and they are NOT mutually exclusiveā]
#iām not even here for shipping discourse ie. āyou canāt ship nezha w anyone cuz heās a child!ā#i dont ship him with anyone thatās never been my focus#i just dislike misinformation#if you understand that cupid and eros are adult gods despite often being depicted as babies then why donāt you understand this#and in case i need to clarify i hate pr*sh*pping i dont support it#the fact is that any lmk nezha ship simply isnāt a pr*sh*p because heās a full grown man#never once in the show does he act or sound like a child so why is this such a widespread belief??#iād get it if the show was about him as a child going on his killing spree#but lmk is clearly set millennia after that#also abt the ādont ship deitiesā thing i understand seeing non-cn fans treat chinese gods like fairytale characters is frustrating#but to me since lmk characters arenāt very accurate to their real life religious counterparts they are not the same ppl#like i see swk fanart and think āswk the lmk characterā and not āswk the daoist godā yknow#but thatās only my opinion i wont say iām totally right i wonāt argue if youāre daoist or buddhist and find it offensive#lego monkie kid#lmk#jttw#journey to the west#lmk nezha#lmk swk#lmk sun wukong#age discourse#immortal child depictions of nezha do exist that doesnāt mean the god is always a child#and in FICTION. yknow SHOWS and STORIES. not worship. if the story says heās an adult then thatās what he is#so like. statue of baby nezha = baby#statue of adult nezha = adult. it does not mean every single depiction of nezha is a child#donāt generalize things and do not infantalize him
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[Avengers Academy: Marvel's Voices Infinity Comic (2024) #29]
The holidays are over and the darkest days of winter are upon us. The newly human Blackheart wrestles with the sins of his father ā and those of his own. Guest-starring Daredevil!
Do I... ship Matt/Blackheart now...? š¤
#Marvel#Daredevil#Matt Murdock#Blackheart#Avengers Academy#Infinity Comic#Matt took his mask off and gave it to Blackheart at the end which is... I don't know what it is. Intimate?#Maybe he just offered to hold it while Matt sat down but still#To be clear: I'm not into this ship suddenly because Blackheart is... a hot guy now? (idk I have not been following his journey)#I think him having a monster form makes it even better. (āæāāæā)#Ever since reading Nocenti's run I thought he was a really interesting concept#A manifestation of human suffering concentrated upon one evil hill??? That's cool#Kinda weird that Matt once made out with his dad though#I both love and hate the format of infinity comics#I may have to read this series now though#Just to see how we got here#I like the philosophical/theological discussion#Anyway I ship this now#āHe was so beautiful...ā#My brain made the sound of a car throwing on its brakes
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Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:
Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them
Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later
Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night
Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things
Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol
Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner
Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway
Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong
Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"
Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them
Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing
Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him
Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)
Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her
Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back
Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out
Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance
Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat
Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)
Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe
Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword
Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn
Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear
Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her
Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1
Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj
Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1
Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack
Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that
Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box
Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base
Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead
Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)
Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)
Things that did not happen:
Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner
Martyn and Cleo hating each other
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
#Listen. listen. I understand. but consider... them#Zombiewood#ZombieCleo#Martyn InTheLittleWood#Limited Life canon: Cleo making Martyn godfather to her kids#I 100% support everyone taking their own interpretations from the episodes-#but I often see ''Martyn and Cleo hate each other'' and I wonder ''Did we even watch the same thing?''#and with so many POVs that only see them from the outside perhaps we did not!! So consider... them. Let's rotate them <3#This post is about the sheer amount of 'Martyn dumps Cleo for Ren' fics tagged Martyn/Cleo vs. minimal affectionate fics. help??#also fics where Martyn/Mumbo was canon but Martyn claims he was never attracted to him- only Ren?? Fascinating.#sir can the whole plot be about that because hold up I feel like we should unpack your loveless marriage before you date Ren#I will 100% read a story about you charging into marriage with Mumbo and then going ''Uh I just made a big mistake.'' hilarious#I mean I'm not Ren but if my crush confessed he never loved his husband in the first place I feel like I'd have Questions#To each their own! And I for one greatly enjoy how much Martyn will chase Cleo without humbling himself. lol. idiot. get wrecked.#but just to be clear I am a huge fan of break-up 'fics and choosing to be with someone you want. ergo my interest in Grian/BigB#This post is about Martyn/Cleo and Grian/BigB being fandom rarepairs despite having canon interest in each other#which is 100% fine because everyone should write what they want but!! Come rotate them with me because they are so fun and silly#Grian the man who deliberately cuts comments about Grian/Scar and Martyn/Mumbo from his vids but pursues BigB?? hilarious#In-universe this man went from ''Romance? I do not see it'' to ''Actually I want the cute cookie man'' and took the leap??#Yes king tell me more about this journey of self-discovery. I am aspec-beam'ing you.#Anyway. Need more Martyn/Cleo in my life which is why I'm writing fics of that and other people write fics about what they like <3#but sometimes people don't like it when I pair Martyn and Cleo because ''They hate each other'' and I laugh sfdlkj
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i was skimming some of my old WOT liveblogs and i've found what i believe to be my first ever recorded Gawyn Thoughts. an important historic relic! pretty sure it was from TGH or TDR.
look at my innocent little self assuming that popularly-maligned WOT characters must surely be popularly maligned for justifiable reasons. i had so much faith in the fandom back then!
#'so many people wouldn't hate him without good reason' oh girl they would like you wouldn't even believe!#it's giving 'you really think someone would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?' djkjfg#and then up through LOC i was SO apologetic every time i expressed even a wee bit of fondness for or interest in him#i'd be like 'i'm sorry but i kinda like him in this scene i'm sorry don't hate me'#tracking my Gawyn Journey you can really see what a strong hold the already-known fandom opinion had on me!#until i finally went 'nah fuck it i love this silly boy idc what anyone else thinks!' and embraced it#and the rest is history :')#wot#wot book spoilers#gawynposting
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if there's a tag that's 'past lwj/wwx' and the other tags aren't 'breakup and make-up' or something to that effect I swear to god...
#it's rare to see 'not wx endgame' in fics but it DOES happen' and it just goes to show#even the best supported romances have ppl who don't Get It#I do have it blacklisted tho. this is a wangxian endgame household!!! no neither of them are dying either what the fuck are you talking abt#like way to sap all the life and hope and joy and tenderness out of the story. kill off the MAIN CHARACTER who had this entire arc#of coming back to life and finding love and meaning and a life worth living and ppl to trust again#or killing off the love interest who is CRITICAL in that journey for him and is the source of so much of the trust and love and support#the mc experiences. like they're happy in the end together despite all the horrible things that have happened#it makes no sense to kill either of them off....just for cheap angst ig. or if you really hate one of them š#ficblogging
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*skipping like a lunatic around my room*
JUST figured out how i can incorporate another of amyās idle dialogue into my cryptic castle ficccc <3
#bee blabs#shadamy#yippee !!!#she says sumn abt wishing SONIC of all ppl were with her#which ig makes sense :/#she talks abt him like he's her safe person#but I absolutely hate the idea of her needing him to get her out of this#especially since she's NEVER thought abt him before this ??#(I avoided speaking abt him for this reason but also bc he's not relevant to a journey that is AMY'S)#but !! she thinks she'd prefer sonic to support her thru this adventure#then she realises maybe not all things considered#sure shadow isn't all peppy and wtvr but he has more of a quiet supportive quality#and he's delivered and defended with few questions#and he had an OPTION to ignore her. but didn't#ofc sumn feels off with him and she knows it but she ends up preferring and grateful for some sure help for once#and she gives back once she realises exactly what's up with him#it's not much but it will be to him#look guys listen i am scheming >:)
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Iām being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?
Iām probably not going to be watching anymore.
I mean it when I say that theyāre literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like āIdek these characters I need to watch this show and see whatās going on over there.ā
And like, itās a fun show, Iām not saying it isnāt, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they donāt have Buck & his bi arc, but Iād still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.
I donāt need them right now, Iām so down for the slow burn, will-they-wonāt-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out heās queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think Iām gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.
#911 abc#buddie#demisexual eddie diaz#also pls donāt come at me with āyou donāt care about bi representationā. heās already bi#heās always been bi & Iāve loved watching him on this journey#but his & Eddieās relationship is literally the only reason I started this show in the first place#and again if they find good LIās & bring them more into focus#the time spent on the Buddie relationship will decrease. thatās just how tv & time limits work#and if my favorite relationship on the show goes away then why would I continue watching it religiously?#also I know Iām a bitch & would therefore hate any person they brought in to be the HEA for them & thatās not fun for anyone#not that I would bully the actor/actress bc im not an ASSHOLE#eddie diaz#evan buckley#I literally watched Booth & Bones take like 9 seasons to get together I am IN IT with a slow burn#unless they do what they did last season & shoehorn 2 LIās in at the last second on the last episode then I guess I wouldnāt have a choice#Tim wouldāve pulled a fast one on me#also I will watch literally anything else Oliver Stark is in SNOOKUMS I love you so much. come home the kids miss you š#& probably Lou also bc heās so freaking cute irl I wanna die#with his curly hair and his silly faces and his muscles and his wanting to be held in the dark#LOU BABY ILL HOLD YOU IF THE POWER GOES OUT#I have spent too much of my life & time & energy to get 0 payout and itās honestly unsustainable but thatās a whole different problem
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[wipinf] thinking bout that one part in jttw96 where nezha and hong hai er fight in a dream
#I think they would fucking hate each other#sorry guys Iām sick of working on this lol#wipinf means wip Iāll never finish -w-#or2#I still really like my designs for them tho even if figuring out the colors are a pain in the ass#ignore that ugly samadhi fire I wanted to make it multicolored to show that it wasnāt regular fire#I couldnāt figure out what method to use tho lol#btw I fucking HATED hong hai er in 84 I deadass almost stopped first season cuz of him and his stupid parents ššš#girl just make a new kid throw this one away#child who actively plays a part in their parents divorce so they can have two birthdays#kick his ass nezha#digital art#my art#journey to the west 1996#nezha#red boy#jttw nezha#jttw red boy#hong hai'er#I adore the small buns they put in young child hairstyles back then tho#so cute :3#nezha you have so much shit on you itās crazy#various accoutrements could you spare a few#me walking around jingling with every step cuz of the multitudes of keychains I have on me
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rewatching the road not taken animated short on the train was a bad idea
#just genshin <3#hahaā¦ haā¦ aā¦#ā¦ā¦..#i hate it here#THE PARALLELS OF LUMINE AND DAIN AND THEIR COLD DISTANCE BC BOTH ARE GRIEVING AND CANT FIND IT WITHIN THEM TO COMFORT ONE ANOTHER#COMPARED TO AETHER AND PAIMONS WARM COMPANIONSHIP BC THEY DO HAVE THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY TO HELP EACH OTHER#DAIN EITHER WALKING AHEAD OR LINGERING BEHIND WHILE PAIMON IS ALWAYS BESIDE AETHER OR TUGGING HIM ALONG#OHHHHHH I HATE IT IT MAKES ME SICK IM SICK THIS IS SICKENING RAAAHHHHHHH#and lumines progressive breakdownsā¦. her often stopping while aether moves onā¦. the snapshots of what was probably when they were both awake#before they tried to leave teyvat and were separatedā¦.#throws up i need the whole of the pre-failed teyvat escape into the 500 years journey lore/anime STAT#also i really hope the anime covers the events before main timelineā¦. plsā¦
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Because I'm seeing cakegate on my dash again, let's stir up some old drama
#playchoices#the freshman#choices tf#the royal romance#choices trr#I'm gonna say itāDrake's was dumb as hell but you can't deny it was p in character for him#them rewriting it + trying to make him out to be a non-toxic masculinity icon later on was what wasn't consistent#(& you cant say the latter was character growth because they never presented it as a journey they just pretended the other never happened)#and see if he didn't want a pink cake just because he doesn't love the color that's valid#it's that he specifically said it was because it was girly that makes it a fragile masculinity thing#and by extension it's also a sexism thing and even a homophobia thing if you wanna view it that way too#the Abbie thing made people mad enough to give it a name (cakegate) and it sure is the icing on the cake for an already loathsome character#anyway I'm voting Abbie cause I hated it but I still think the fuss about the Drake one wasn't really warranted#like yeah I maintain it's a problematic comment but idk what to tell you man that's just the dude you romanced#like what aspect of his characterization leading up to that moment makes it take you by surprise or think it's ooc#and I say this as someone who originally married Drake and had him as one of my favorite LIs but that was Drake being Drake honestly#unconquered queries
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Okay, so I'm being completely self-indulgent here but I went on a little foray and dug up a load of old posts n' such to go thru Wyatt's journey n' pick out some important moments/juicy tidbits so uh.. here it is if you're interested š
Major Somnium spoilers if you haven't read it yet tho so be warned...
The first hint of genuine emotion/doubt we see cross Wyatt's face, and it's about his father.. hmmmmm, also to be noted is that even if he did up sticks n' go to work with Ash, he wouldn't have been free of anything, least of all his father's judgement!
The infamous Silas scene, yikes.. two things here, anytime he mentions it, it's not Wyatt's reach, always Arturo's! Like Oscar said recently, he doesn't have any connections now that he's gone (and Ashton, so.. oops) Second of all, Bruno DID understand.. which is interesting. Wyatt's family may not have been any relation to Bruno by blood, but they were still his found family for a long time and he n' Wyatt didn't much care for each other either, but they knew one another pretty well (what they showed each other anyway aha..) So yeah, he didn't LIKE it, but he UNDERSTOOD.. much to Ivan's dismay š
Wyatt pretty much admits here that he's pretending his way through life.. which is SUPER fun to look back on, 'cause we all took him at face value here, but who's to say it wasn't just another act? š¤·āāļø He learnt to look at the world through calculated logic at a very young age.. and he's kinda right, if you observe everything & everyone else from a neutral standpoint, it's pretty interesting what you can see that you might've missed if you were too angry, sad etc.. to notice...
Did anyone believe Wyatt when he said he would leave Joslyn's kids out of it? 'Cause he was telling the truth.. maybe she should'a called his bluff. An easy bargaining chip, never to be played.
After learning of Oscar's plan, Wyatt decides to help him.. why? I don't think he's sure at this point, he just knew he'd had enough of his father's disrespect and wanted to fuck him over.
This is suuuper interesting, mostly because of Bruno's "no".. he's a bit of a hypocrite ngl, cos he knew more than Wyatt, and for longer, that what he, Artie n' co. were up to was wrong, yet he stuck with them, protected them and continued to work for them anyway. The difference between them tho, is that Arturo respected and trusted Bruno enough that he would've let him leave if he wanted to, but he didn't.. and Wyatt never had that luxury ā_ā
In this scene we (I think?) first got a glimpse into Wyatt's brain, and I particularly like this part...
Although he wanted to prove to Arturo that he had been right, he knew he couldnāt risk it. Doing so would only reveal his own betrayal. ItĀ shouldĀ have been satisfying, but Wyatt could already feel himself shrinking under his fatherās cold, piercing gaze as he realised his own son had deceived him so immeasurably. He didnāt need to know; his demise would be satisfying enough, it had to be.
Simply because as it turned out, it wasn't satisfying at all.. and Arturo was already well aware of his own son's involvement at this point, double yikes.
So everything's gone to shit but Wyatt/Darien are still sitting pretty with Ashton.. but why is it sad boi hours? Why doesn't it feel right? Hmmmmm.. I like this scene because Wyatt's pretty much lost his whole family and yet.. is he sad? He doesn't think so, not really. It's kinda the start of him "waking up" so to speak, with no one left to live "for" and no one to impress, please or serve he's lost at sea! It's fun, because honestly at this point he could have slotted neatly into life in Del Sol. He could've worked with Ash, business as usual, new connections and protections, lotsa women, lotsa money and power..... and yet.. it doesn't feel right? š¤ HMMMMMMMMMMM
Thanks to Brynn's help, Wyatt finally comes face to face with the reality of his actions. It's interesting for so many reasons.. first of all, he'd always kept the details at bay, 'cause that's what he was used to, what was easier, what he was taught to do.. business isn't personal, right Pookie? š and Ashton hadn't exactly told the whole truth either, making out like the girls would work for him (which ig they would in a way, at least some of em.. but it's definitely worse than Wyatt assumed, which I think can show how naive he could still be sometimes) but with no daddy around to answer to/impress, and no one left to pretend to, Wyatt suddenly NEEDED to know and there was no one left to persuade him otherwise.
Love this scene.. Wyatt's still a little demented isn't he, taking sadistic pleasure in fucking someone over, but at least this time he's on the right fkin side. Look at that smirk.. ohhh Ashton you are fucked, but please enjoy your sauna whilst you can š
So it's been a few years at this point and Wyatt's had a hell of a lot of time to think, and a lot of distance from his old life. He doesn't really know who he is at the moment, but he's kinda learning to just BE instead of pretending all the time.. kinda scary, tho a little less so when you've adopted a cute old neighbour who invades your space with his genuine care and good advice. Something Wyatt's definitely not used to, but he doesn't completely hate it.
Not only does bumping into Brynn again make Wyatt realise how grateful he was for her help, but it also kinda forces him to stop ignoring his past. Her visit and their brief time spent together really made him start looking back at his old life n' tryna figure out how it fit into his new one. He still has no idea who he is or who he should be and it's particularly disconcerting to him how comfortable Brynn is around him, given what she knows...
He'd just about managed to keep it at bay until this point, but it's time for an existential crisis š¤øāāļø
Ahhh baba Ichi is so kind š would he still be so keen to help Wyatt if he knew about his past? Who knows.. but he sees someone struggling and he wants to help! I think it's interesting that Wyatt trusts him/likes him enough at this point to actually admit his doubts/feelings, which is more than he'd ever done before. He might not see it yet, but it's still progress.
Brynn's back, and she's about to fuck Wyatt's shit up (in the best way).. I love how he's been so wrapped up in his own misadventures that he hadn't even stopped to think about hers. If we're gonna look at things in black and white (which we don't do here but just bear with) they're both "bad" people who've done terrible things and made terrible decisions; driven by necessity, both perceived and literal. They've taken lives without regret, stolen from people who didn't deserve it, fucked people over for their own survival or for revenge ETC ETC.. and yet, Brynn knows she's not black and white, she knows she's still capable of being a good person and she can see it in him too, even if he's like ??? about it himself.
Wyatt not only admits his feelings to himself, but to Brynn too.. and goes against what HE wants n' agrees to her wishes instead, putting someone else first for like.. the first time EVER š³
Though he was glad to know the truth, Wyatt was less than thrilled with Brynnās plan; but she craved true freedom, and after everything sheād endured ā in part due to his own transgressions ā he figured he owed her as much.
What sorcery is this?!
Wyatt's not great with empathy or at putting himself in others shoes, but I loved this scene with him n' Oscar because now he's actually been forced into Oscar's well worn vans and he had no choice but to confront his previous decisions head on.. he did NOT like his own medicine and I think it's the first time he properly felt regret/guilt.. super important discovery.
Ahh the crux of the issue, daddy issues.. š
I'm not saying Wyatt didn't have free will or the chance to idk NOT partake in the family "bidness" but idk, he was indoctrinated into that life since birth. The fact that he eventually made it this far and didn't go totally insane in the process is still kinda impressive.
We don't have to forgive him, Brynn hasn't, and won't.. but people are grey and there's hope things will be different in the future. I love how much these two have been through in life, yet still managed to SOMEHOW end up with a second chance/a way to be & do better. Idk I think it's awesome (disagree with me if u want idc ahahakjsdksj) and I especially love that they literally know almost every nasty detail about each other but still perceive the other as "good" despite those details.. ough
With a dead dad (yay), plenty of distance, a lot of time and some forced introspection not only from himself but Brynn, Oscar, etc.. and ELLIS, Wyatt finally broke in the best way possible. It'll take time and it'll still be shit at times but now that everything's outta the bottle maybe he can piece everything together again. I especially love this part..
The moment Ellis had made his way into the world, something deep inside Wyattās soul had shattered, breaking into a million tiny pieces that pricked his heart with every shred of hurt, regret, and stifled guilt heād ever buried within its previously impenetrable depths. Try as he might, the tears refused to cease.
I think it was easy to believe that Wyatt was a psychopath (that was the point) but we only believed it with such conviction because HE did too. I think he's relieved to finally learn that that's NOT the case, even if it's scary af tryna figure out who he is from scratch.. but hey, he has a pretty good reason too now. Being the dad he wished he had... ;-;
Anyway.. thanks for coming to my pointless, long ass, self-indulgent TED talk, if you read all this please take a cookie on the way out and know that ily muchly š¤šŖ
#ramblings#and like.. i mean major ramblings#sdkjskdj#god bless any of u that read this in its entirety#idk how much sense it'd make without reading somnium tho.. another reason to do so ahueheuh#fib extras#wyatt#ahhhh what an interesting man#love him or hate him idk.. his journey is still kinda fun to lay out u kno#twguns#twtrafficking#twdeath#?#kinda
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i finished it!!!! šŖāØ
#dragon age the veilguard they can NEVER make me hate you!!!#what a journey!!! š„¹#i absolutely loved it!!!#at this moment (and bare with me i literally just finished it ok) the only things that i think were lacking were:#1) the romance (or at least lucanis' romance) the few scenes we had were SO GOOD but i other than that i didn't feel much interaction...#...between the two idk if it was a general thing for all romances or just lucanis' buuut... i wish we got a little more out of their dynamic#bc that first flirt scene was so so so goooooood and the final scene of them together too!!! like we seriously could've had it all!!!#and 2) the inquisitor's outfit lmao ššš like guys why would you put her in THATā¢#i had a curvy/chubby inquisitor and that outfit looked so weird on her ššš i didn't like it at all lmao#like she's a hero of thedas and that's all she gets... the disrespectā¢ šļøļæ½ļ潚ļø#and what did i say??? lavellan saved him with the power of the š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ#the ending was beautiful!!! i'm so glad we FINALLY got that closure (10 years later!!!)#anyway can't wait to do a second playthrough hehehe#i hope all my dragon age girlies also had fun playing the game šš« i loved sharing this excitement with you all my loves#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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