#what a fucking inconsiderate and self centered bitch

[crimsonender]

Context: we had an emergency alert for a missing elderly person in Nova Scotia. We get a quick, two second siren on our phones.

How fucking callous do you have to be to get this tilted over a fucking noise that could save someone's life? Two seconds of minor discomfort is not "Psychological Assault" and is worth the chance someone could (and in this case did!) find this man who could have died if he wasn't found!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for deliberately running into a guy?

🥰 to recognize

I recently spent a weekend in a well known party town - to the point the street in the main party area is closed to cars after a certain time. I was walking back from the party area (no bars nearby but still a lot of foot traffic) with friends when I saw there was a guy standing in the middle of the sidewalk on his phone. There were plenty of places he could have pulled over, but it looked like he had just stopped and started texting. After a night of dealing with inconsiderate people and being tired and, admittedly cranky, I decided “fuck it” and ran into him. Which I know is rude and, normally, I would feel horrible about immediately after and would think about for weeks from then on.

Instead, I kept walking without saying anything and after a moment I heard “oh, did I run into you?” I could pick up on the tension and kept walking without saying anything. This man then proceeded to follow me, falsely apologizing for about a minute before switching to insulting me and yelling at me. The phrase “this fat bitch ran into me” was screamed multiple times.

I kept walking and didn’t interact with him, and he followed me for at least two blocks, (it was about 10 minutes), yelling the whole time. One of my friends did tell him “sir, you’re an adult and you need to use adult words” at one point but he didn’t have a good response. He also demanded I say “excuse me” in between insulting me, which I didn’t do. Eventually he lost interest and stopped following me.

However, at the next stop light an older couple (mid 60s?) condescendingly told me “you know, when you run into some one, you do say ‘excuse me’”.

Thankfully, my friend who had yelled earlier leaped in to tell them he had been standing in the middle of the sidewalk and should have expected to get bumped. They were unimpressed and the woman of the couple kept making up scenarios like “well if I got tired and stopped, would you run into me?” And I wasn’t entertaining hypotheticals from a person who watched a man follow and yell at me for the last two blocks and did nothing besides decide to scold me, so I just told her “yes, you’d be self-centered and rude” to any of her various, increasingly wild scenarios.

I wrote this off, but recently I was retelling the story and someone agreed “well, that was very rude of you” and I feel like I’m loosing my goddamn mind. To me, any amount of rudeness I had was vastly overshadowed by that man’s actions. I feel like he should be run into more, to build character - I personally wish I had piledrived him into the ground. I know I was initially the asshole, but I feel like that man (especially) and that couple (more minor) were such huge assholes it’s cancels out my initial assholness. But what does the internet think?

[amateurasstrologer]

THE PLANETS #4 JUPITER (IN THE HOUSES)

Ah, Jupiter. This gentle giant. This moon hauling mama. As always, Miss Red is misread by the mainstream. Let's break it down.

What do we know about Jupiter? Something about luck, philosophy, risk taking, joke making. Alright - kind of, but not really.

Jupiter has nothing to do with stand-up and everything to do with growing up. This mammoth orb is the maturity maker. Wherever Jupiter falls in your chart shows you where you’ve got some growing to do - it’s the area where you need to learn how to manage your energy better, so you can shed that self-centered baby shit you got going on and learn how to cooperate with the big bad world and connect with deeper shit you got inside you.

Miss Red helps you organize and understand your life - Jupiter helps you take your giant, gooey glob of experiences and structure all that shit into a story with a meaning. This is why we associate Jupiter (and Sag) with philosophy - not because Jupiter is some stormy brain in the sky eating grapes and thinking thoughts for fun, but because the meaning you take away from your fantastic farrago of experiences becomes your “life philosophy.” You don’t just wake up all fresh and newly born with a deep, dimensional understanding of life, you develop that shit over time, through having and processing experiences. 

We think of Jupiter as a jovial, risking taking baddie, but the deeper dimension to this risk taking trope is that the more you put yourself out there, the more you solidify your understanding of you are. Yep, you’ve gotta live - however "living” looks like for you - because it’s through getting out there and gathering experiences that you start to figure out who the fuck you really are and what the fuck you’re actually about. Jupiter is the planet of getting your mf shit together - learning, maturing, cooperating, and developing into a fully functioning member of society.

Really, Jupiter is a bridge. It helps you move away from being a self-centered bitch and move towards being part of the bigger picture. But in order to be part of it, you gotta see it to begin with. Let Jupiter show you were you got the most potential to mature.

As always, particulars for the party people:

JUPITER IN THE FIRST (1) You better think about phasing out your insecurity fueled need to push yourself away and stop deep-throating rigid beliefs, so that you can grow into one seriously deep bitch capable of knowing, trusting and relying on herself, her feelings, and her findings above all else.

JUPITER IN THE SECOND (2) You better think about phasing out your ego-trip induced belief that you own and control shit, so that you can grow into one seriously wise bitch capable of managing and expanding all kinds of wealth - physical, mental and emotional.

JUPITER IN THE THIRD (3) You better think about phasing out your inconsiderate, unaccountable, rigid ass way of thinking, so that you can grow into one seriously focused bitch capable of intentionally directing and organizing your mind, relationships and environment.

JUPITER IN THE FOURTH (4) You better think about phasing out your weak ass definitions of “real” and your inability to deal with even a single one of your feelings, so that you can grow into one seriously grounded bitch capable of having the most stable, secure, nourishing relationships to ever grace the Earth.

JUPITER IN THE FIFTH (5) You better think about phasing out your radically incorrect self-perception and emotionally irresponsible behavior, so that you can grow into one seriously charming bitch capable of leading others, creating dope ass shit, and really, truly believing in herself.

JUPITER IN THE SIXTH (6) You better think about phasing out your self-sabotaging “it is what it is there’s nothing I can do besides blindly accept my fate” monologue, so that you can grow into one seriously aware bitch capable of refining her values and making actual moves towards creating a truly fulfilling life.

JUPITER IN THE SEVENTH (7) You better think about phasing out your insanely selfish need to avoid responsibility and emotional maturity in relationships like it’s the fucking plague, so that you can grow into one seriously fearless bitch capable of meeting other people where they’re at, ready to get your fucking change on through relationships.

JUPITER IN THE EIGHTH (8) You better think about phasing out your superiority complex “I’m deeper than you” manipulative emotional hedge fund persona, so that you can grow into one seriously real bitch capable of reaching the deepest depths and bringing all kinds of mfs together through empathy, knowledge and understanding.

JUPITER IN THE NINTH (9) You better think about phasing out your delusional, never seen a fact “I’m right and everybody else is wrong” narrative, so that you can grow into one seriously open bitch capable of long game planning and management and spiritual understanding.

JUPITER IN THE TENTH (10) You better think about phasing out your “nobody understands me” bs that continues to excuse your unhealthy, secretive behavior, so that you can grow into one seriously powerful bitch capable of holding herself to the highest standard and fucking living by it.

JUPITER IN THE ELEVENTH (11) You better think about phasing out your endless list of excuses as to why you can’t rise the fuck up to the occasion and make a single difficult decision, so that you can grow into one seriously visionary bitch capable of standing the fuck up for what’s right and putting your genius plans into action.

JUPITER IN THE TWELFTH (12) You better think about phasing out your unaccountable, tree-in-the-wind filled need to get blown around by everybody’s energy, so that you can grow into one seriously perceptive bitch capable of emotionally holding her own and subtly and effectively managing the group vibe.

Peace, bitches. Happy charting.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY

[self-loving-vampire]

@melancholygirlfrien said:

I have a Child Development Associate so I am literally professionally certified to tell you that yes, taking children and babies to places so they can learn how to function and see that they're a part of a world bigger than they are, is important to their social, emotional, and language development. It helps everything from motor skills to social skills and cognition Just because you find babies' cries annoying doesn't mean parents are selfish just for wanting to take their children outside. Children shouldn't be raised indoors all day in a fucking bubble because that's how developmental issue happen. If a child is isolated they can develop serious issues.

Note that there are more appropriate places you could be taking them to, for starters. Places where people can avoid the noise more easily and where it might be less disruptive.

Like, you have options beyond “indoors 100% of the time” and the kinds of locations I mentioned in my first reply to you. Like, you can still take them to places like parks, malls, and other locations where it would be less of an issue.

No it's not fucking self centered for a parent to take their baby outside because they're just doing what they gotta do , not everyone can afford child care especially people of lower socioeconomic status. There are many single mothers who have no other option but to take their baby everywhere because that's what their situation calls for. The only fucking person being self-centered and not considering the struggles of other people is you.

Again, notice the kinds of places I mentioned in my post before going off on straw arguments. My complaints about others involve places like restaurants, the movies, and airplanes.

These are not only places where a child crying can ruin other people’s experience and be inescapable, they’re also places where many of the people there are not poor and had other options for what to do about their situation.

Like, I would think differently about someone who brought their baby to a clinic’s waiting room (for example) as opposed to a flight to Miami.

Black and white thinking is not going to help you understand what other people’s issues are.

No I wouldn't tell someone whos scared of my snake to go suck it, even though I would have every right to. Like I said I understand when people have phobias of certain animals. There might be people out there who have a phobia of dogs but does that mean people who take out their dogs are being selfish and don't care about people who have trauma/phobia associated with dogs?? Fuck no, those people are just being responsible dog owners and doing what every dog owner should which is take their dog out for a walk. Just bc some people might be annoyed by their dog doesn't mean they're being self-centered and bad people.

And yet there are places where they probably should not take their dog because it would be either inconsiderate or outright banned, and if they insisted on doing so then they probably are self-centered.

Like, if you want to take your babies out for a walk or something around the house that’s not nearly as bad as what I was actually complaining about.

your life isn't gonna be fucking ruined from hearing a baby cry in public. The most you'll be is annoyed and anxious for a few moments and then it will go away. Suck it up.

Did I ever say anyone’s life was going to be ruined? Why do you make everything some kind of exaggerated strawman?

Here are some exact quotes you already forgot about:

“It’s not the worst thing but it’s still kind of inconsiderate“

“No one said anything about stopping them or suspending their rights in any way, only that noise is annoying (and especially painful to autistic people with sensory issues).“

“Um… what do you think I do? Activate Karen Mode and go bother the parents about it? Nah, I just judge them silently. I am free to complain as much as I want on the internet though.“

So:

1- I am not treating it as a huge, life-ruining thing, just a sort of dick move. Like people who cut in line or something.

2- I do “suck it up” when it happens but am 100% allowed to complain about it online anyway.

Tbh I can't keep talking to you, I think people like you should be ushered into a dark warehouse and humanely put down.

Empathy-havers are so humane they advocate genocide against autistic people apparently, over a post about baby noises being kind of annoying. I’m not even surprised because you all keep doing this every single time without even thinking about how it sounds.

Maybe you should think about how the things that make children annoying (they're egotistical, they have a hard time empathizing with  others because of their self-centered world view) are traits that you have yourself. The difference is that most children develop and grow out of that self-centered world view

If you actually read my post, the primary annoyance I pointed out was that they were Portable Sensory Hell. I made no comment about their ability to feel empathy and actually find low empathy people significantly less annoying than others so that’s clearly not it.

You're a child in my eyes tbh. Your mentality is childish. Say what you will but I would like to remind you again, at one point in your life, you were a baby, and you shit your pants, and someone had to clean up all that shit after. Or else you wouldn't be here.

You know, if you’re going to go around advocating genocide over a post about people not liking baby noises then I am 100% sure my literal child self was morally and intellectually superior to your current self already.

You know what would make me respect you more? If you owned up to the fact that you judging parents when their babies cry is a result of your low empathy and self-centered world view. I would respect you SO much more if you just said "Yo, straight up. I'm just a selfish person. I know babies can't help that they cry and it's not the parents fault but I straight up do not like that shit. I have low empathy as a person and therefore I can't really bring myself to care about babies, children, or the parents and their situation so I just judge parents because I want to. Because their kid is annoying the shit out of me. I don't care about the reasoning tbh I'm just kind of an asshole."

> Implying I care about whether or not you respect me.

Also, this isn’t even correct. At my current point in life I pretty much never have to interact with babies in any way, if I was completely selfish then it would not matter to me now whether or not people bring their crying babies into airplanes and the like. The issue just isn’t a very significant part of my life.

But the thing is that while I am low empathy that does not change the fact that I value other people’s well-being and know that crying babies make their lives worse even if just in a small, temporary way.

The kinds of parents I am complaining about don’t even think about that.

You know you're just incompassionate. So be a self-respecting sociopath and own up to that shit, please, I would respect a stone cold evill mf  SO much better than a little weasel who tries to give excuses as to their own egocentric way of thinking.

I am a narcissist, not a sociopath. Of course, if cluster B disorders are just standard insults to you then you might think all low empathy conditions are the same.

Furthermore, you haven’t shown that you understand anything at all about what low empathy conditions are actually like.

Also I find it really telling that you would prefer unrepentant evil selfishness over someone who merely understands and sides with others who are negative about loud babies. Like, actual morality is not something you seem to be valuing here.

"iF I wErE iN tHaT sItUaTiOn I wOuLd jUsT sTaY hOme!" No you wouldn't you stupid bitch because parents have to go out to buy groceries, and run errands like every other adult.

Again, you seem to be treating all of “outside the house” as an interchangeable space with the exact same norms.

Like, do you realize how it might be different to bring your child out for necessary grocery shopping than to bring them to a restaurant or the movies? Do you really think I would treat those things as exactly the same?

MOST parents, especially working-class, poor, or single parents, DON'T have that option, as I already stated. And you are showing a clear lack of regard for people who are in a tougher situation than you for judging parents when their babies annoy YOU. You are literally not putting yourself in their shoes at all bc you have no idea of even half the shit parents have to do in order to make ends meet and look after their babies.

Oh, I am well aware of how having babies will multiply your suffering, especially if you’re poor. It’s precisely why I’m never having any! 

I understand it’s a huge pain and people with children are always going on and on about how their lives became significantly more miserable as a result of it.

I think you should honestly love that screaming toddler on the plane because in a few decades she might grow up to become the nurse who will take care of you when you're old and ill.

This argument just doesn’t work one way or another. If the baby is going to help me then I will be grateful once that actually happens, not based on a hypothetical so unlikely I might as well live my life not considering it.

[gecko-s-greenhouse]

congratulations?

dear 1,

apparently i’ve bitched out so many people recently that i’ve run out of reasonable initials and have to resort to numbers. oh well.

anyways. you have the dubious honor of being the person who’s finally convinced me that i’m too old to have roommates anymore. which is funny since you’re 11 years older than me.

there are so many things that i want to address that i don’t even know where to start. i find you an inconsiderate roommate, and as a person, very self centered. i guess let’s start from the beginning.

we’ve now lived together with our roommate 2 for about a month now. in this time, you haven’t helped tidy around the house at all, you haven’t taken on a single chore beyond washing your own dishes (congratulations?). you didn’t unpack until last weekend and only then because 2 found you too helpless and basically forced your hand and did it all for you. in our bathroom, there is only one towel hanging bar and 2 and i are considerate enough that we don’t hog the bar and instead hang our towels in our rooms, but somehow you’ve interpreted this to mean that you can just hog the only towel hanging spot all the time. when you need a dish from the drying rack, you only take that one dish and leave everything else in the rack. on weekend mornings you hop into the shower without asking if anyone needs to do something quick, at a time when everyone is moving around (9amish), and i sometimes need to leave the house in order to make a meeting where i won’t have bathroom access for the next 2 hours. when you load the drying rack, your one plate takes up the space that any other person would put multiple plates. see a pattern yet? i do. i’m peeved by your inconsiderate behavior around common spaces. i wish that you would think about the ways that others use the common spaces, and tailor your own actions accordingly.

the first time i tried to bring this up with you, you cut me off so many times that you misunderstood what i was trying to say. i wasn’t saying that i want you to do my house duty of emptying the dishwasher, but rather that you could extend some courtesy to others who use this common space when you are getting your things.

this is actually a common thing, i’ve noticed. i say something that is bothering me, and you turn it around and make it about you. i got harassed on the street? oh, you also got harassed on the street but the difference is that you provoked them first by saying fuck you.

2 says that you respond better to being told what you can do in the future rather than dwelling on what you did wrong. so i’ll give you an example. we have shelves in our bathroom where we store our toiletries and toothbrushes. do you think i enjoy having to reach over my head to grab my toothbrush? of course not. i put my stuff there because i know i’m the tallest person in the house and it is more convenient for me to have this shelf space than for anyone else.

let’s see. what’s next. oh. my cat, 3.

you spend so much time bragging about how many animals you grew up with as a kid. great! but at this point it really sounds like to me what you’re saying is, “oh i definitely know how to handle 3!” no! i don’t trust you to handle 3. it’s not that i don’t want you to be friends with 3 eventually, but i want it to be done on mine and his terms. i don’t want you feeding him at 5am just because he asked you to, i don’t want you to teach him that he can be fed at whatever hour he wants just because he yells. i have no interest at getting up at 5am to feed him for the forever future, and i’m the one who has to continue taking care of him after i move out. sure, it’s cute when he runs out the front door but it’s an annoyance to get him back in.

ok for everyone else this is what happened. yesterday morning i was in the middle of a zoom meeting, and 1 wanted to leave the house. the day before, 3 had sprinted out the door when 1 was leaving and that was evidently so entertaining that 1 decided to try to goad 3 into doing it again. i had no interest in entertaining this so i picked him up and restrained him so 1 could get out the door. instead, 1 lingered and i eventually had to yell at them to “just leave.” later, when i brought up that i was angry about this, 1 said “i had no idea you were upset, you could have said to stop.”

let’s take a second to think about this again.

you wouldn’t say this to someone who had just been raped, so why would you say this to someone who had just been clawed by her cat while trying to help you?

first of all, i did tell you to stop, i yelled at you to leave.

second of all, you could apologize for victim shaming me.

this made me so angry that i decided that if 2 and i are ever out of town at the same time, i would rather pay $100s per night to put 3 up in a cat hotel that he would probably hate instead of letting him stay at home with you.

and finally we get to your age-old excuse for getting out of literally everything. “work is my first priority.”

fine. you’re allowed to have your own priorities. but the thing about living with roommates is, when you agree to have roommates, you’re also agreeing to be respectful of them, their belongings, and your shared common space. it is implicit that you agree to pull your weight around the house/apartment, and so far, you and 2 have ganged up on me to gaslight me into thinking that i’m being unreasonable with this expectation.

and if we’re going to get really nasty here, i think if you spent half the time that you spend complaining about how much work you have actually unpacking or helping around the house, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

just saying.

..

p.s. sounds in the common room carry. when i’m in my room and my door is open, i can hear everything from one end of the house to the other. so if you want to have a private conversation when i’m “asleep” (aka my door is open so my cat can get in/out), the common room is not the place to have it.

p.p.s. i’m moving out at the end of 1 year, if not sooner.

[miraculouslysam]

(1)Okay, this is just something that keeps bugging me and I can't let it go apparently so have at it. half the reason I'm mad at Adrien about "lila's lies are harmless" and "tAkE tHe HiGh rOaD mArInEtTe" is the fact that her lying is totally not harmless. I'm not even talking about how it hurt Marinette and he's so inconsiderate wtf, though that's true, it's that it clearly harmed Adrien /himself/. the book? that she stole? and threw in the garbage? which was going to get him grounded for life?

(2)she was the last person he saw it with. it didn’t take too big of a leap in logic at the very least to /suspect/. especially when he knew that she’s a liar. then again, did he even know that it was actually returned and not just his father being lenient on him for once? which reminds me, there was literally no reason for Marinette to lie about how she found the book — she saw lila throwing it in the trash then heard chole crying about how Adrien’s gonna be locked up now cause he lost a book.

(3)Made a fool of herself in front of her idol for Adrien and that’s nice and all but why??? I really don’t understand the point in making Marinette lie when it could be avoided. also if she just used the mundane truth at least gabriel wouldn’t suspect ladybug. anyways, Adrien doesn’t even have a third of the story and they’re really trying to paint him as the Wise One™ in that episode? I’m just. buh-bye bitch. I would really like Adrien to take the high road AFTER knowing the fucking facts. 

____________

Me, when I should be working on my Kagaminette fic (next chapter is almost done I SWEAR): let’s just talk salt instead

I’m also going to say here that I’m not going to take many salt requests through Friday. I’ve had a lot of bad personal stuff happening over the past few days and would prefer more positive stuff while I re-center myself. Please feel free to send me fluffy fics, HC requests, or cute art! I’d really appreciate it.

Anyway, the short answer to this is going to be in three points I’ve made before. 1) The writers feel that Adrien always needs to be right. 2) The writers are very anti-Marinette. 3) The writing is just… bad.

The long answer is going to reside in a full meta about how these characters behave in the Volpina and Chameleon episodes.

So, let’s start with Lila. She is, after all, the catalyst for all of the issues in these particular episodes. I’ll start by saying how Lila’s character is handled really infuriates me too, but that @emblian has some really great thoughts on the subject that I couldn’t verbalize nearly as well.

Here we see Lila manipulate both Adrien and Marinette. Adrien in Volpina by stealing the book, Marinette in Chameleon by threatening her. But the problem isn’t her manipulation. (I mean, it isn’t a good thing by any means, but it is for creating conflict and establishing the lengths she is willing to go to.) The problem is the suspension of disbelief required to make her lies plausible. Eventually, I’m going to create a list of all her lies, but I’ll discuss a few key ones here.

1) In Volpina, she claims to be best friends with Ladybug, and Adrien believes her. This is,,,, so dumb. Adrien knows when he received a miraculous and that Ladybug received hers at the same time. He knows that Ladybug has consistently been there for the akuma attacks. And he KNOWS that she takes her job incredibly seriously. Basically, believing she would have been in Italy, hanging out with Lila as her superhero self (or, if we’re being honest, he probably believes that Lila knows LB’s identity, when LB won’t even share it with her partner), is really fucking idiotic.

2) Also in Volpina, Lila changes her tune and says that she’s a superhero with a miraculous that she inherited from her grandmother. And not just that, but she’s stronger and better than Ladybug. Again, Adrien knows the rules of the miraculouses. He knows that his was anonymously gifted to him. And he is very aware that miraculous-holding superheroes DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES reveal their identities.

But those both rely more on Adrien’s character than Lila’s because, well, she’s new in Paris and she’s not an actual miraculous holder. They’re just the lies that set up the chain of events. So let’s look at one that is purely dumb.

3) In Chameleon, Lila tells Max that she had to catch the napkin because it would have stabbed his eye out- she’s seen it happen firsthand. First of all, it was rolled into a ball. He probably would’ve flinched and it would’ve rolled harmlessly away. Secondly, he was wearing glasses. And I’ve gotta tell ya, I’ve worn glasses nearly every day for the past 11 years (except for days I’ve worn contacts, obviously), and the worst thing that has happened when they’ve been hit is the lenses have gotten dirty. No person in their right mind would believe that lie. This is probably one of the best examples of the Lila Problem because of its sheer ridiculousness. Suspension of disbelief is a great thing, but it doesn’t work for something this ridiculous, where the lie is dumb but EVERYONE believes it without a doubt.

So, Lila’s lies are easily googled and disproven, but apparently search engines don’t exist in this universe????? As I said, the problem here lies mostly in Adrien.

We see Adrien believe things he should know are wrong from his personal life. I already summed up the lies, so I’m going to say it isn’t a stretch if he just… doesn’t recognize the connection between Lila and the book. Sure, he sees that Lila was there when he last saw the book. Yes, he knows he was going to be prevented from going back to school. But what he doesn’t see is that the two are connected, so he doesn’t know that her lies have harmed him.

Onto Chameleon, when he starts saying they should take the high road and that her lies haven’t harmed anyone, he doesn’t know that Lila has threatened Marinette. Marinette doesn’t tell him, either. He’s also been trained as a superhero to not hold someone’s akumatizations against them. Everyone would be in prison if they were held accountable for that. He doesn’t know that she chooses to become Chameleon. So, he genuinely believes her lies aren’t harming anyone.

I’m also going to use the abuse problem here. As someone who has been a victim of it, I understand pretty well how abusers keep their victims in check. Adrien has been shown to be passive time and time again, whether with Lila, Chloe, or his father, because he’s been trained to stay silent. His father punishes him for every little thing, as seen in Volpina when he is willing to take Adrien out of school because Adrien has lost a book. That doesn’t make Adrien’s response right, but it’s one of the few consistencies in the show.

Now onto Marinette. She has to lie to her icon. Truthfully, this is one of the first moments we see Marinette be unnecessarily punished in. I don’t know why she lies. I don’t. Do they want to make her look like a hypocrite? My more positive spin on it was that she wanted to eliminate any trail where he could assume she was Ladybug. She knows he’s previously been interested in her earrings. So, I’m just going to assume for my sanity that she figured he would have too many questions about why she had pulled the book from the trash. But it’s really just senseless punishment of the MC.

Overall, it really comes down to the writing. The writers really love Adrien. We know this. He’s been called “perfect” by them so. many. times. They want him to be the moral compass, but then he’s too naïve to recognize the obvious. Marinette’s treatment results from an ingrained sexism that I won’t get into here because I will be ranting FOREVER and will get off-topic from the Lila episodes. Adrien is too naïve to fully recognize the facts, but they will still let him preach to Marinette if it makes him the moral compass, and especially if it makes her look wrong. It kills two birds with one stone.

[kae-karo]

Exile - Fic Update

i feel a bit britney spears here but oops i did it again n left another cliffhanger lmao soz?? but not really?? uhh anyway enjoy ;) tysm as always to @daliensgrandads for being such a lovely beta <3

Summary:

Exile’s a fucking bitch

Dan finds himself kicked out of town and searching for literally anywhere out of the rain - somehow, he must have just enough luck, as he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of the forest.

Except it isn’t abandoned, and the resident isn’t exactly…normal…

Read on AO3

Chapter 66: Phil - 2.2k

My breath hitches at his words in my ear, low and husky and full of promise, and my cock strains against my jeans - it's not like I've never bottomed before, but the way Dan had acted, it seemed like he just...wanted to, preferred it, and-

My mind goes completely blank then, when his lips move just under my ear to suck at the skin there; then his hips grind down into mine, a rough friction that isn't nearly enough for what I need, but I match his movements anyway. My hands slide up his sides, rucking up his shirt until I can dig my fingers into his back, keep him close against me.

A part of me wants to hang onto the nerves of asking for this, wants to wonder if Dan really wants it, if I'm being self-centered or selfish or inconsiderate, but he works his way down my neck to suck at the spot just at the edge of my shirt collar and I suck in a breath, far more focused on that than on whatever nonsense wants to run through my head right now.

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[jiminniethemarshmallow]

What You Deserve (M)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 17k

Summary: Best friend to boyfriend scenario

“Is that how you feel? Did you feel like this the entire time we were dating or is this a new thing?” You crossed your arms and glared at the man before you, previously your boyfriend and now the man that just shattered your heart.

“I- well it’s not really new…” He glanced off to the side, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Your face was bent out of shape and you could tell it was making him uncomfortable, but that was the least of your concerns. He let out a heavy sigh. “I swear I actually did feel something for you when we started dating. It’s just, I lost interest.”

“Lost interest?! Then why the hell didn’t you break up with me sooner?! You wasted your time and mine with this relationship; you should have broken things off as soon as you started feeling like that instead of leading me on then cheating on me!”

“I know, you didn’t deserve that, but I just couldn’t work up the nerve to say it to you.”

“So you thought this would be easier?”

“I didn’t want you to find out this way. You don’t understand how tough this has been on my conscience.” His conscience?! He had some nerve. “I got too attached to you. It’s like telling a lost puppy that’s been following me around for months to go away and never come back. I’d feel so bad breaking up with you.”

You almost choked at his words, unable to hide the shock on your features. A big lump formed in your throat, but you pushed it back down, fighting the angry tears brimming your eyes. “Finding out like this is way worse than telling me yourself. Not only did you hold back MY life with this relationship, but then you didn’t even have the balls to break it off yourself and had your side whore say it instead!!” You were in public and you didn’t want to cause a scene but your anger was becoming too much.

“My life was held up because of this too! Do you know how many girls have been waiting for us to break up so they could get a chance to date me? There are girls who are much better looking than you that are throwing themselves at me but I couldn’t say anything to any of them because of you. Instead I had to tolerate you and your worrying and nagging because you’re an overprotective attention seeker.” There it was. The side of him that you’ve only seen once. Normally he was kind and bashful around you, but finally you get to experience the selfish, inconsiderate, rude side of the man you had been dating for a little over a year. Was sex all he thought about? It was becoming clear to you that he never had his priorities straight in the first place.

“Considering the situation, I had a right to be overprotective. I knew I couldn’t trust you and so did my friends but I had faith in you. They warned me that you were a fuckboy and now I see what they saw.”

“Whatever.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes at you, exiting out of the conversation like he always tended to do when you said something he didn’t like. He always chose not to listen to the truth and it pissed you off more than anything.

“I should have known dating a self centered asshole like you would end up like this. Is your head so far up your ass that you can’t see how any of your actions affect the people around you?” He turned his head from you and you knew he had stopped listening. As soon as he started walking back to the girl that was waiting for him, you followed and spoke loudly so she could hear. “If you’re leaving me for her, don’t set your standards too high. You might lose interest too quickly and then you’ll be forced to choose from that long line of women waiting to fuck you.”

The look on the girl’s face was priceless as she turned toward him. You couldn’t figure out why she was surprised to hear that he had other side pieces, as if she wasn’t one herself. After collecting herself from her shock, she turned back to you.

“Hey, don’t talk to him or me like that, ever.” She squeaked, her voice annoying you more than before.

“What makes you think my conversation was about you? You’ve never been the main of anything in your entire life.” You didn’t know where all of this sass was coming from, but it made you feel big. You assumed it was a natural defense mechanism to compensate for your bruised ego. Suddenly the shorter girl approached you and drew her hand back, quickly making contact with your face and leaving a stinging mark behind.

Rage shot through your body and you felt your face get hot. Every fiber in your body told you to fight her, you weren’t a wimp and you didn’t take shit from anyone, but miraculously you were able to contain yourself and hold your temper. She wasn’t worth the effort and she definitely wasn’t important enough for you to go to jail for beating her up. Stepping dangerously close to the woman’s face, you spoke lowly so only she could hear you. She cowered at your proximity but didn’t move away.

“Listen bitch,” You spat. “If you put your hands on me ever again, I will not hesitate to drag your raggedy ass up and down this park until the cops take me away.” The deadly look in your eye sent shivers up her spine but she kept a tough look on her face as you backed away and looked to the man beside you. He looked like he was prepared to break up the fight and you almost laughed. Despite everything, he still knew you well and understood that you would fight someone if necessary. You had never been pushed as far as starting a fight before, but he knew what you were capable of. A hard glare was thrown in his direction and he stepped back because of the intensity. You were scary when angry. “Fuck you.”

With that you brushed past both of them and walked out of the park to your car. Your face was red hot and you were sure you were getting looks from the patrons of this park, but you couldn’t care enough to look back. You wished with all your heart that this had happened in a less public place, but there was nothing you could do about it, it was over.

As you drove down the road to your house, you prayed that something bad would happen to them. It was unlike you to wish misfortune upon someone, but you were in your feelings and all you could feel was hatred toward them. You couldn’t get what he said out of your head. He got “too attached”? Why shouldn’t he be attached to someone he had been dating for a year? And did he actually think of you as a lost puppy? Was he just dating you out of pity? It wouldn’t have been the end of the world for you if he had rejected you when you first told him you had feelings for him. Your crush wasn’t even that big, you simply thought he was cute, it wasn’t like you were obsessed. He was hardly ever the first thing on your mind, but now that you thought about it, he seemed to think you saw him that way. He always did things to get reactions out of you and tried too hard to show off. Maybe he thought you were desperate for a relationship. Maybe you were. It had been a long time since you dated someone seriously and you wanted one so bad. That probably played a big part in why you fought so hard to make things work. Of course you saw he was slowly becoming less passionate about you, but you did everything you could to stay together with him, and despite all of that, he still cheated on you.

His words echoed in your head. “Instead I had to tolerate you and your worrying and nagging because you’re an overprotective attention seeker… There are girls who are much better looking than you.” Nothing he said should have gotten to you the way it did. Sure there would always be someone who’s prettier and nicer than you, but his words still hurt. He made it seem like he didn’t think you were pretty enough for him, ugly even, like you were at the bottom of the barrel. He was wrong about the overprotective part, however. You gave him his freedom whenever he requested it, maybe even a little too much, and you never coddled him. You only nagged and worried when he disappeared for long periods of time without contacting you or telling you where he went, and you pieced together those pieces very quickly when his side chick walked up to you and him this morning. Never in your life had you been an attention seeker and it was bothering you that he felt that way. The only requirements you had in your relationship were that he take you out on dates regularly and show affection when you needed it. If he thought that was too much then that showed how little he actually cared.

Your house appeared faster than expected and you sat in the driveway, gathering your thoughts for a moment. It was over. He was gone from your life and you didn’t want anything around that reminded you of him. Getting out of the car, you quickly entered your house and began cleansing it of him. You snatched pictures of him off the walls and shelves, took all of the clothes you stole from him out of your closet and carelessly tossed them into a pile, tears streaming down your face as you rampaged your home. Your bed sheets were washed to rid them of his scent from when he spent the night just last weekend. You took pleasure in ripping up cards he had sent you, breaking every gift he gave you and throwing away the evidence. Figuring he might come back for the items he left when he slept over, you threw all of his stuff out of the front door haphazardly, ignoring the odd and concerned looks from your neighbors. You left it sitting there on your lawn and you couldn’t care less if it got stolen. Matters like that didn’t concern you anymore.

It was done. All evidence of him was out of your house and you were left to sit there sulking. You couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to set foot in your house when he was unfaithful. How dare he sleep in your bed knowing that he didn’t have feelings for you anymore. It was stupid for you to even be crying over him. He wasn’t that great of a boyfriend in the first place so why were you upset? It was probably just the thought of getting cheated on that was bothering you. But he is a grown man that made his own decisions and you couldn’t blame yourself. He was out of your life so it was time that you stopped thinking about him. He had held you back long enough.

“Are you ok? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

You found yourself at your best friend’s house, watching him play video games to take your mind off things. You put on a grand facade, equipping yourself with a fake smile and a bag full of various snacks to help hide your emotions. You knew you didn’t have to smile, but you read somewhere that smiling can increase happiness so you were willing to try it. Unfortunately, Jimin could see straight through you.

“You’re not saying much, is something bothering you?” He turned his attention to you for a few seconds, long enough for you to catch his gaze, before returning it to the game.

“Nope.” You shook your head even though he wasn’t looking anymore and stuffed your face with a hand full of gummies. Jimin paused the game, squinting at you as you threw him another smile.

“Don’t lie to me in my own home.” He lowered his voice but made it softer, concern showing on his features. “Did something happen?”

“What gave it away? Was it the smile?” Sighing in defeat, you turn toward him and place the bag of snacks on the coffee table in front of you.

“And the comfort food… and the puffy eyes.” He looked you in the face and his expression put you at ease. “What happened? What’s the real reason you’re here? And don’t just say you wanted to hang out.”

You pursed your lips and looked away. There was no way you could lie to him about this. He had the right to know and you wanted him to, that was the only way he could help you.

“I had a bad day.” When he gives you a look, you elaborate. “My boyfriend and I broke up.” You hear a small gasp as Jimin’s mouth falls open in surprise. “Yeah, turns out the bastard was cheating on me, so it’s over now.”

“How did you find out?”

“We were supposed to be going on a date to the park this morning, but when we got there his side chick came up to us and exposed him. Can’t say I was surprised though.”

“What did you do? What did you say?!” He seemed more in shock than you were. It was probably just disbelief that something like this happened to you.

“You’re probing.” You needed some boundaries, he understood that.

“Sorry.” He looked away from you until you spoke again.

“I didn’t do anything.” Your voice came out quieter than you expected. “Listen, I just came over here because I didn’t want to be alone, I don’t want you to think you have to get involved or anything like that.”

“You know that I will if you want me to. You’re not burdening me.” There was a moment when you both stared at each other, communicating with your eyes and understanding every unspoken word.

“Can I just sit and watch you play for a while? I don’t want to think about this right now.”

It had been five days since the break up and you still weren’t feeling much better. You had gotten over the initial sadness and feelings of betrayal, but there was still a lingering emptiness that you couldn’t quite explain. You were beginning to realize how much of your time you spent on your ex, finding holes in your daily routine that you didn’t realize would be there. Having deleted his number from your phone, you hardly had anyone to text, most of your friends usually were at work around this time so you didn’t want to bother them. Later on that night, however, everyone agreed to do a group Skype call.

“(Y/n), you should definitely go to the party with us tomorrow night.” Jungkook smiled through the screen and you sighed.

“Yeah, friends are the best cure for loneliness.” Taehyung stated and everyone nodded.

“I am not lonely.” Your weak defense earned you a few groans and rolls of the eyes from your friends and you questioned them.

“We heard about your break up, (Y/n), and considering you’re not gushing with emotions, I’m guessing that you’re keeping your thoughts and feelings bottled up. Whether or not you tell us what happened is up to you, but going to this party should do wonders for you.” The other female member of your group, Hani, chirped in and your face became hot. You didn’t say anything, just glared at Jimin through the screen and he gave you an apologetic smile.

“Sure I’ll go, but I’m not "bottling up” my emotions. I just don’t want to talk about it.“

"Well you aren’t acting like yourself. Normally you’re the loudest one out of all of us, but today you’ve barely said a word.”

“Jungkook, that’s a lie, we all know you’re the loudest one.” You retort and everyone laughs.

“I can drive everyone to the party. My house is the closest to the place so if we could all meet up here everything would be a lot easier.” Jimin volunteered and Hani and Taehyung agreed quickly, Jungkook giving a single nod. You weren’t mad at Jimin for telling your friends your business, you just wish you could have told them yourself.

“Maybe you’ll find a new man there.” Taehyung wiggled his thick eyebrows at you.

“I literally just broke up, I’m sure hooking up with a stranger at a party will not fix any of my problems.”

“You never know.” He shrugged.

“Repeat after me, (Y/n),” Hani started abruptly. “Men. Ain’t. Shit.”

“Hey!! One man does not define an entire population.” Jimin protested and you snickered. Hani sighed.

“Okay correction: *He ain’t shit. I don’t hear you repeating.”

“He ain’t shit.” You roll your eyes but you can’t help the small smile tugging on your lips. It felt good to say that out loud.

“That’s right- and don’t you forget it!” Hani pointed a finger at the screen and everyone laughed.

“He doesn’t deserve your tears, you’re too good for him.” Jungkook interjected and the others agreed.

“There are no tears but okay. Thanks guys.” You were grateful for their support and you had to admit, they did lighten your mood. You hadn’t cried since the day you broke up, but there was still some sadness in the back of your mind. You were glad they could see through your bullshit.

Hani came to your house early so you could help each other get ready and you asked her for advice on which dress you should wear. Of course she chose the most revealing one, but you didn’t have a problem with it. She picked out a sexy push up bra and a thong for you to wear underneath and that was when you questioned her.

“Look, I know you aren’t exactly on the market just yet, but you still need to look good. Tease the guys a little, make them drool, there’s nothing wrong with showing off.”

“I get that, but what’s the thong for? Nobody’s gonna see it.”

“Exactly. You’re wearing a tight dress so you don’t want your panty line to show. Plus, you never know what could happen.” She gave you a pervy smirk and you rolled your eyes at her, hesitantly complying and walking into the bathroom to get changed. You both did your hair and checked each other’s make up, picking out a cute pair of heels from your closet before heading out of the door and to Jimin’s house.

When you got there the three boys were already ready to go and upon seeing you two walk through the door, their jaws dropped.

“Damn,” Tae grunted as he eyed you both, eyes lingering on your cleavage and silky legs. “I’m trying so hard not to get hard right now.”

“Don’t be nasty.” Hani squinted her eyes at him but she couldn’t help the grin that crossed her brightly colored lips. You were used to his dirty comments so you paid little attention to them.

“I thought you said you weren’t trying to get a man?” Jimin walked up to you and stopped a few feet away, resisting the urge to grab your hips and pull you to him. He got a closer inspection of your outfit and makeup, visibly trying not to gawk at how perfectly your tight dress hugged your curves. He nodded in approval after a while and you smiled back at him.

“I’m not, this wasn’t even my decision.” You motion to your outfit.

“Well it might get you some attention.”

“Jeez Hani, put those away.” Jungkook complained from behind Jimin as he shamelessly checked out Hani’s all too revealing dress. It was an A-line dress with a V neck that reached down to her naval, making her already big breasts way more noticeable, showing all the side boob a man could ever ask for. The silicon bra cups she had suctioned to her breasts pushed them up and the sight was enough to make any man drool. It was clear what her intentions were tonight and you admired her for having the guts to dress like that.

“Seems like you’re enjoying it though, Kookie.” She smirked at him and watched as his face turned a light shade of pink. He tried to hide it with a cocky comment, but she brushed him off.

“I’m hanging with Hani tonight. Her boob is definitely gonna fall out and I wanna be there to see it.” Taehyung joked.

“All you have to do is ask.” She winked in his direction and you all laughed at his shocked expression, asking if she was serious and getting ignored.

“So how far away is this place anyway?” Jungkook asked when he was finished drinking in both of your appearances.

“Um, about 15-20 minutes.” Jimin glanced at his watch before looking back at the group. “Are you ready to go?”

“I guess.” You grumble and head to his car.

Jimin drives and Taehyung sits in the front, simply because none of you trust that he would be able to keep his hands to himself sitting in the back with two females. You sat in the middle and watched the road in front of you most of the ride. There was a conversation going on around you, but you couldn’t hear any of it. Your thoughts were too loud for you to focus on what they were saying, so you zoned out and had an internal monologue.

What if he’s here? He knows the same people that I know, why wouldn’t he be? What if he brings his side piece? I don’t want to be that person who fights in the middle of a party. My friends don’t even know what happened between us, they’ll start asking questions and then I’ll have to explain everything in front of everyone. Why am I even going to this stupid party with them? I bet we’re all gonna split up as soon as we walk through the doors anyway. The car erupts into laughter and pulls you from your thoughts momentarily. When did I become so melodramatic? My friends are trying to help me get over him, so I should at least try to be happy. I love parties…. generally… so I’ll just try my best to enjoy this one. Get it together (Y/n), the world is not going to end. Remember: He ain’t shit.

Taking a deep breath, you try to enter the conversation. The ride feels shorter when you’re talking, and before you knew it, you were parking in the lot of a crowded club.

“The party’s in here?” Hani asked, expressing exactly what you felt. From what you had been told, this was a party for someone that you had only met once or twice before. Apparently he got a promotion or something and was throwing a huge party, inviting almost everyone he knew to celebrate. When you got inside, you saw that there was a section reserved for the party with a table of food sitting on the side. That’s probably where you would be most of the night if you were being honest with yourself. Jimin and Taehyung greeted a man inside and reintroduced you, Hani, and Jungkook to him.

“Oh yeah, you do look familiar. Well, thanks for coming, um, the club is open and so is the tab so have fun! Food’s over there, bar is that way, try not to die or kill anyone.” With that, the man walked away and left your friends to party. Immediately Taehyung pulled the group to the dance floor.

After about 2 hours of dancing, you called it quits and left to entertain the free buffet. You were okay with getting checked out by your friends, but the stares you were receiving from people, female and male alike, were making you uncomfortable. For some reason, it felt different than when you were in a relationship. When people used to hit on you before, you were flattered and took it lightly, feeling protected by the fact that you were dating someone. But now that you were single, every person that approached or touched you seemed like a predator. There was no “I’m taken” excuse to ward off the hands that wandered too high or low on your body. Of course you could lie and say that you were, but that would just remind you of your horrible break up and make you emotional and you didn’t want to be the person crying at the club.

You stayed close to Jimin and Jungkook while you danced, feeling more comfortable dancing around them. They were both great dancers and you would consider yourself one too, so you three stole the show. You never touched them and they never touched you, but you were all pushed close to each other as you danced provocatively, visibly affecting Jungkook even though he didn’t stop you. A few women tried to flirt with you three as you swayed your hips to the music, complementing your dancing and, ultimately, your ass in that dress. Countless men tried to grind against you, but every time someone would get too close you would turn your butt toward Jimin or Kookie or just sandwich yourself between them, using their bodies as a safety cover.

Jimin couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as you moved fluidly, body flowing to the music like water in a stream. You were a distraction to his thoughts, a constant reminder of what he couldn’t have, but he wanted to touch you so badly. Would that be too much? Probably. He tended to think of you as a fragile being, someone who could take care of herself, but often needed back-up in sticky situations. He cared for you and he cared about you and made a mental vow to be your personal bodyguard, but the way you were dancing was setting his heart on fire. Every now and again you would turn your back to him and occasionally you would brush up against him. Of course everyone was smashed together in the mass of bodies, but he could always tell when you were the one that touched him. He would stare for a bit, hoping you would make a bold move and grind on him to relieve some of the tension growing between you two, yet he feared that he wouldn’t be able to control his actions if you did something like that. Why was he being like this? He shouldn’t be having inappropriate thoughts about his best friend, but his body said otherwise. Thankfully, you decided to leave the dance floor to cool off a bit and he was quick to follow, keeping a close eye on you.

When you finally left the crowd, you were dripping with sweat. It was so hot in there that it was getting hard to breath. You spotted Hani and Taehyung at the bar, downing drinks before going back onto the dance floor. Taehyung was standing unnecessarily close to her but she seemed to be encouraging it, her face showing that she was flirting her ass off and you laughed.

“They should just date already.” Jimin’s voice sounded alarmingly close to your ear and you turned to him quickly, not having realized he followed you out of the crowd.

“I don’t know why she keeps saying they’re just friends, we can clearly see they have some benefits situation going on. We’re not blind.” You turn your body toward him and are surprised by his proximity. He steps back as you reach over him to grab a plate and begin to pile it with food.

“I haven’t eaten all night, I should probably get something.” Jimin picks up a plate too and you wait for him to fill his plate before walking over to an empty table. The motion of the sea of people rocking in front of you is almost nauseating as you stare into it, making you wonder how you survived being in the center of it. You frown.

“I can’t believe we were in there. There are sooo many people here.”

“Yeah, this is probably the most crowded it’s ever been.”

“Where’s Kookie? Did you leave him all alone?” You take a bite of your hamburger slider.

“Oh he’s not alone.” Jimin laughs. “Just when you left he started dancing with this girl. She was basically fucking him with clothes on in the middle of the floor. I was surprised he was okay with that, but when I told him I was leaving he didn’t even care.”

“When will you learn that Jeon Jungkook is not as innocent as you think he is? I’ve seen that boy do some nasty things.” You and Jimin just chat as you stuff yourselves with food. After a few hours, you start rapidly declining and you wonder what time it is. It had to be late. Eventually Jungkook found where you were sitting and he stole some of Jimin’s leftovers, but soon he was up again, disappearing into the pulsing mass of sweaty bodies.

You and Jimin continued to talk and somehow the conversation looped back around to your friends.

“I think they would be perfect together. Hani is a little… out there, but so is Tae and they could probably work. They can’t keep pretending we don’t know she sucks his dick whenever she goes to "hang out” at his place. He’s really bad at lying.” Jimin leaned back in his seat.

"Do you think you’d be able to hide it if I sucked your dick?” You didn’t know why those words slipped from your lips, but they did and you could see the shock on Jimin’s face, but he quickly recovered.

“I just wouldn’t say anything about it. But that question is irrelevant because I don’t believe in friends with benefits arrangements, so I would never let that happen.” You shrugged and both looked at the crowd for a bit until a man approached you.

“Heyyyy, can I buy you a drink?” The man was tall and skinny and clearly intoxicated. The way he wobbled as he stood and slurred his words told you that he had been drinking all night, not to mention the nauseating stench of hard liquor on his breath.

“No thanks, I’m not drinking tonight.” You tried to be polite because you didn’t want to upset him since you had no idea how he would react.

“Well do you want to dance?” He held his hand out toward you and you glanced over at Jimin, unsure of how to respond.

“Actually, I just got off of the dance floor so I think I’m going to rest here for a while, but thank you.” He retracted his hand and leaned against the table. His face was uncomfortably close to yours and you feared that he would try to slide into the small booth with you. You shot Jimin another look, hoping he would save you, but he looked equally as stunned as you were.

“Listen, you’re really hot.” The man giggled and a tight frown pressed into your lips as you anticipated his next words. “I really only came over to ask you one thing.” You raise your eyebrows and he continues. “Is you fuckin’?”

“I-” Your eyes widened and your lips parted in shock. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that Jimin had a similar reaction.

“Cuz I see you in that dress and all I can think about is bending you over this table and fucking the soul out of-”

“UMMM n-no I’m not… fucking…” You were at a lost for words. Another look was thrown in Jimin’s direction and this time he actually did come to your rescue.

“Actually, she’s with me tonight.” It seemed like something caught the man’s attention and he finally noticed your friend sitting across from you. He squinted at Jimin, focusing his eyes on his figure, trying to determine if he was real or not. Then he looked back at you.

“Oh. Are you two..? Damn, I’m sorry.” He turned back to Jimin. “You shouldn’t let her out of the house looking like this. Every guy here wants a piece of that.” His tongue ran slowly along his lips and you cringed, wishing you could unsee that as he walked away.

“That was so fucking embarrassing.” You groan, covering your face. Jimin tried to laugh off the awkwardness. His thoughts were less than appropriate and he fought hard to keep his head straight.

“If anything, that should have been flattering.”

“What, having a stranger say that he wants to fuck me in the middle of a dirty club? How romantic.” You roll your eyes sarcastically.

“Not that. All I’m saying is that you look great and you shouldn’t be embarrassed that other people recognize your beauty too.” You blush at his words and take a sip of your soda. He regretted saying that last word, hating how it sounded like he was flirting, but you didn’t seem to notice.

“I imagine you’re used to getting hit on.” You meet Jimin’s gaze and he questions you. “Don’t act like girls don’t hit on you all the time. It’s kind of inevitable when you look like that.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, you look like… you. You’re mochi sexy.”

“You think I’m sexy?” He cocked an eyebrow up at you, a faint smirk on his lips.

“Mochi sexy. But you’re missing the point. I’m saying that you probably get hit on a lot because girls find you cute and/or hot, so this probably doesn’t bother you as much as it bothers me. I’m not used to this kind of attention.” He was flattered by your compliment, but decided to turn the conversation back to you.

“Really? Either you’re oblivious or blind because you get attention everywhere you go.”

“I ignored it. But now that I’m single it feels like everyone’s eyes are on me. Maybe it’s because I can see them too now…”

“Get used to compliments because I’m sure you’ll get hit on a lot more since you’re single now. And if your ex didn’t see how hot you are before, then you should show him what his missing.”

“I’m not going to date someone just to spite him.” You looked away, but you couldn’t say that the thought didn’t cross your mind. You deserved happiness and a small part of you wanted to show him that you had a line of people waiting too.

The night dragged on and the music only seemed to get louder. The conversation was reduced to judging the increasingly rowdy party goers as they passed. Jimin pointed out who he thought had been drinking the most and you tried to come up with backstories about the patrons as you watched their night unfold. When you saw a drunk woman slip and fall on spilled alcohol, exposing a breast and her bare bottom under her dress, you and Jimin stopped inspecting the crowd and focused on talking about Hani and Taehyung again.

“How much do you wanna bet she wore that outfit just for him?”

“How much do you wanna bet they’re fucking in the bathroom somewhere?” Jimin responds and you laugh.

“I hope they aren’t, I’d like to leave soon if we can help it.”

“Do you want to help me find them so we can go? It’s already 2am, we’ve been here for about 5 hours.” You nod and follow him back onto the dance floor, only to see Jungkook making out with the girl Jimin saw him with earlier. She was pulling at his hair and looked like she was about to tear his clothes off any second. You and Jimin snapped pictures of the hot make out session for future blackmail use before almost literally pulling them away from each other.

“Get her number, we’re leaving.” You shout over the music at him and he shakes his head.

“No, she’s coming home with me.” The dirty looks they give each other make you want to vomit, but you just nod and keep pushing through the people, searching for your other two friends, assuming they’re not off fucking in some secluded area.

You come across the pair leaning against a wall on the side of the dance floor. Jungkook spots them first and leads your small group to where they were standing, clearly looking disheveled. Taehyung’s hair was mused much like Jungkook’s and telling from the smear of red lipstick on his face that matched Hani’s, they were engaged in similar activities before you found them. Upon seeing you and Jimin walking up to them, they each moved a bit farther away from each other, wiping the corners of their lips as if you hadn’t already seen the evidence.

“Ready to go?” Jimin asked as his friend ran a hand though his tousled hair in an attempt to fix it. Jimin gave him a knowing look but the other male ignored it.

“Yeah we’re ready.” Taehyung threw a glance in Hani’s direction before they both pushed off of the wall and walked past you. In passing, you grabbed Hani’s arm and spoke to her as quietly as you could over the roaring bass.

“You look like you had fun.” She rolls her eyes at you.

“The party hasn’t started yet.” You want to ask what she means by that but you could probably take a pretty accurate guess. She latches herself onto Taehyung’s elbow and they walk ahead of everyone else, suddenly in a rush to go home.

In the car, you sit in the front with Jimin to avoid being smashed between the couples. Taehyung offered for Hani to sit on his lap, but Jungkook insisted that his “date” sit on his lap instead because his thighs were “firmer” and “made a better seat than Taehyung’s”. They agreed on that arrangement quickly without complaint and you were surprised Hani didn’t make a dirty comment in response. It might have had something to do with the fact that everyone was already onto her and Tae and she wanted to keep it a little low key for a while.

The ride home was much quieter in comparison to the way there. You could hear the couples speaking to each other respectively, but nothing was above a whisper so you couldn’t make out what anyone was saying. Jimin took this opportunity to have a conversation with you.

“Are you driving back to your place or staying the night at mine?” He couldn’t think of anything else to talk about.

“Uh, I’m most likely going to spend the night with you because I have a feeling Hani doesn’t need a ride tonight. Taehyung’s the only one who can give her the kind she needs.” You look back and see Taehyung with his hand on her thigh, steadily moving it up as he spoke lowly into her ear. Curiosity got the better of you and you turned so you could see Jungkook in the seat behind you. His face was hidden by the woman’s hair but you could tell he was nibbling on her ear and whispering sweet nothings just from her reactions. There was no doubt in your mind that she was sitting on his erection.

“As long as they don’t fuck in my car, I don’t mind what’s happening back there.” You turned back around to face Jimin, but he kept his eyes on the road. He focused all of his energy into driving to keep out the thoughts of fucking you in the back seat. The drive home was much shorter than the ride there and you were relieved when you reached his driveway. Before Jimin even had a chance to pull out his keys to open his front door, Jungkook began walking toward his car, gripping the girl’s wrist tightly as he pulled her along.

“Goodnight guys, talk to you tomorrow.” He waved in your direction before digging in his pocket for his car keys.

“Bye Kookie.” You laugh as he opened the passenger’s side of his car for her and then jogged to the other side. He was most likely trying to hide his boner from his friends.

“Someone’s in a hurry.” Jimin mumbled as he held open the door for the remaining three of you. As soon as you got inside, you kicked off your heels, dragging yourself over to his couch to relieve the pressure on your aching feet. Everyone gathered in the living room for a while and talked about your night, but their attention was mainly on you as you told them how you got hit on by various people.

“He said that?!” Hani laughed.

“Yes he literally said ‘is you fucking’. In front of Jimin!! I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.”

“It wasn’t even that bad.” Jimin brushed you off.

“Oh please, you were surprised too.”

“Yeah, it kind of caught me off guard.” He admitted.

“Did you see the way Jungkook let that girl inhale his face though? That surprised me.” Taehyung interjected and you nodded.

“He must be either really into her, or in desperate need of some sex. I guess your hand can only work for so long before you get bored.” Hani shook her head as she leaned back.

“Oh trust me, the hand never gets old. It’s just that sometimes fucking another living thing feels way better.” You all grimaced at Taehyung’s remark.

“What about you?” Jimin started, smiling evilly at your other friends. “You seemed to be having adventures of your own away from us.”

“Nah, you just walked in at a bad time.” Hani’s protest wasn’t very convincing and you wondered how long she would keep their relationship a secret. It was clear they were into each other, but you didn’t understand why they didn’t want to admit it. You hoped it didn’t have anything to do with your friendship.

“Sure. Tell that to the messy lipstick smeared all over his face.” You gestured to Tae and he blushed, fighting back the urge to wipe his face just in case you were bluffing. Jimin snickered at the look on his face and Hani avoided your gaze.

“Whatever, don’t pretend that you guys didn’t spend an entire night together too. I would have thought you were on a date if I didn’t know better.” Hani smirked and you rolled your eyes, not noticing the slight blush on Jimin’s cheeks.

“Well it’s time for us to go.” Taehyung stood abruptly and motioned for Hani to follow. It was obvious that they were going home together to “hang out” or whatever they did.

“You’re not driving are you?” Jimin got up as well and looked concerned at the two. You guessed you should stand as well.

“No, we called an Uber before we left the club. Neither of us is sober enough to drive.”

“I hope you had fun tonight, (Y/n). You look great.” Hani smacked your ass when she walked past you and you glared at her.

“Goodbye.” You pushed them out of the front door before anyone could make a comment about how you looked or ask if you were feeling better. You shut and locked to door behind them. “Guess it’s just us tonight.”

Jimin got a bit tense at your words, but he said nothing as he turned and headed toward his bedroom. You followed and called taking a shower first, hating how sweaty you were underneath your dress. It felt like there was a river flowing down your back and if you had to wait another minute to shower you would have gone insane. Upon reaching his bathroom, you stood in the mirror and looked at yourself. You had to admit, you did look pretty good. Tonight wasn’t as painful as you thought it would be and you were actually glad your friends dragged you along to this party. It was fun.

As soon as you started getting ready to clean yourself up, you ran into a problem. Your zipper remained elusive from your sweaty fingers and after minutes of frustrated fumbling, you gave up. Shyly stepping out into Jimin’s bedroom, you found him sitting on the edge of the bed looking at something on his phone. He looked up at you and raised his eyebrows.

“Can you help me unzip my dress?” He stood and walked over to you as you turned your back toward him. You hadn’t really thought this plan through all the way because you failed to avoid the sequence of events that followed.

When Jimin began pulling on the zipper, he found that it was stuck. Adding a little more force, he tugged on it until it came free and slid all the way down the length of your back. His moment of triumph and your moment of relief was cut short when the strapless garment fell from your body and landed in a pile around your ankles, leaving you exposed in nothing but your push-up bra and butt floss. His eyes widened as he stared at your back, gaze unintentionally falling to your ass that he discovered was bare. He took a step back because suddenly you were standing way too close to him and he couldn’t handle what he was seeing. Since you hadn’t brought out a towel to wrap yourself in, you had no way to cover up and you would rather die than pull your drenched, stinky dress back up your body. Thinking as quickly as you could, you turned toward him so your backside was out of view, but that led to Jimin getting a full show of the lacy front of your thong along with the see through material of the bra you were wearing. Your hands flew to your body, one covering your privates and the other arm crossing your chest to hide the nipples that Jimin has probably already seen by this point.

He tries his hardest to look at only your face as you stand there in shock, eyes boring into each other’s, until you step back toward the bathroom.

“Thanks.” You bend down to pick up your dress and he can see straight into the space between your cleavage, a sight that finally forces him to turn his head away from you. When he hears the bathroom door close, he plops down on his bed, covering his face in humiliation.

What the hell?! You think as you look at your now bare face in the mirror after you finish wiping off your makeup. You felt so stupid. Why weren’t you holding onto the front of your dress when he unzipped it? You knew that would happen once he pulled the zipper down. Why weren’t you thinking? Jimin must have been so embarrassed seeing his best friend practically naked, but you were mortified. It was the second time tonight that you had been embarrassed in front of him. He’s seen me in bikinis, what’s the big deal? Bikinis were different though, very different. Bathing suits weren’t see through. They covered what was important and allowed someone to keep some dignity. This was an entirely different situation, however. You might as well have been completely naked because you were sure Jimin saw everything. Stepping into the shower, you tried to ignore everything that happened. As you washed yourself you thought of your behavior tonight. Were you flirting with him? If so it was completely unintentional or at least you didn’t realize you were doing it and you hoped Jimin didn’t take it the wrong way. But suddenly the thought of seriously flirting with him didn’t repulse you, and that scared you. How could you think of your best friend like that? You shook those thoughts away immediately. He probably didn’t think tonight was that big of a deal so you shouldn’t worry about it too much. Like Jimin did with most embarrassing things, you would just brush it off.

Park Jimin was having a meltdown. Literally. His face was so hot and red he thought it would melt right off. What was happening to him? Why was he so upset over this? He tried to figure out everything that was going through his head, but his body was being flooded with hormones. All night he had been trying to ignore it. He had pushed down his feelings for you since Day 1 when you put him in the friend zone and he was doing a pretty good job at moving on. How could all of those feelings that he thought he erased suddenly resurface in just one night? You must be doing this on purpose. From the moment he saw you in that dress, he knew he was doomed, but he put up a valiant effort. You had on his favorite color, minimal makeup, and that faint scent of perfume that he adored so much. The way you danced at the club and stayed so close to him was a tease and he had to look deep inside himself to find the self control not to touch you. Your comment about sucking his dick and the fact that you thought he was sexy did not go unnoticed and it was surely a test to see his reaction. And when that guy came over to you and said he wanted to bend you over, Jimin couldn’t stop his mind from imagining himself doing that exact thing, having you moaning his name as he took you right then and there in front of all those people. Seeing you practically naked was the tipping point for him and he didn’t know how much more he would be able to handle.

A hand dragged through his hair as he tried to calm down. Jimin knew you and you wouldn’t do anything like that on purpose. He was probably just overreacting and he felt bad for that. You had just gotten out of a relationship and you needed someone who would be there for you, not someone who was glad that things ended poorly because he secretly hoped he would have a chance. It was a long shot and you were not looking for that at the moment. You would probably feel betrayed if you found out your best friend had inappropriate thoughts about you. Gathering himself, Jimin sighed and swallowed everything that he was feeling. He mentally apologized for even thinking of you that way.

After you finished your shower, you were faced with another dilemma. What on earth were you going to wear? The shirt Jimin gave you was adequate enough as a top, but you didn’t have anything to wear under it. You hated the idea of wearing that uncomfortable thong to bed, but going commando was out of the question. You rummaged through your purse for anything that could possibly help you. Miraculously, you found an extra pair of emergency underwear at the bottom of it that you always kept. It was for if there was ever an “accident” of some sort or if your panties ever got ruined and went missing after a suspicious visit to a nearby bathroom or closet with your now ex. You thanked your past self for forgetting to take them out and quickly slipped them on. It didn’t matter that you weren’t wearing shorts underneath because the shirt would have covered them up anyway.

Jimin rushed into the bathroom once you came out and quickly shut the door. You would never know that it was because he didn’t want you to see his boner. When he came out after a cold shower, he found you already under the covers, arms sticking out so you could watch something on your phone. You didn’t even look up when he entered the room and walked around. Not even when he slid into the bed next to you did you acknowledge his presence and he assumed you were either upset or embarrassed. He was quickly proven wrong as the video you were watching ended and you turned your body toward him.

“You going to sleep?” You asked. You said it as if everything was fine, so it was. Clearly you weren’t upset with him. He could relax.

“Not yet.” He turned his head to you to see that you had placed your phone down on the bedside table and now had your full attention on him. “Why?”

“I almost fought her,” You blurt out and his eyebrows rise ever so slightly. “My ex’s side piece I mean.” It didn’t take long for Jimin to figure out the context of the conversation and he was quick to signal you to continue. It wasn’t often that you opened up about things like this so he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to get the whole story. “I would tell you everything that was said but that might take awhile.”

“We have time.” He was not going to let this moment pass.

“Where do I start?” You groan, shifting in your spot to get comfortable. He did the same and turned his body toward you, preparing himself to hear your story; it would probably be a long one.

“Start wherever you want. The beginning, how you started your day that day, when she came up to you, anywhere.” With a sigh you begin.

“I guess I’ll start from about a month back.” You told him all the ins and outs of your relationship, the small details that he didn’t know, the things you were feeling throughout this time and your thoughts now that you had insight into everything. In hindsight, the signs of cheating were clear, you were just in denial. You told him that every time someone would ask where he was, Hani would give you a look, as if she knew what was happening or at least figured it out. Jimin listened with an open ear and a closed mouth as you spilled your guts about how you liked him and wanted things to work out but that you didn’t really see a future with him. You said that since there was nothing past dating for you and you knew it, that you wasted his time too and you played a bigger role in this breakup than just being the victim.

“Don’t say that. He played you. You can’t blame yourself for any of this because even though you felt that way, you tried for him and gave him an effort when nothing you did was reciprocated.”

“Jimin, I’ve thought about this from every prospective; I’m not 100% innocent in any of this.”

“Yes you are.” His voice was firm but low. “Because you didn’t cheat. And even if the relationship was falling apart, he did all of the damage.”

You were thankful for his words and you forced yourself to believe him. You saw his point, but there was still a bit of guilt in the back of your mind. Maybe if you had been different he wouldn’t have felt the need to cheat? Maybe if you had broken things off when you realized you were driving a dead end street, you would have avoided this heartbreak.

“We were supposed to go on a date that day, it was rare that he would do something romantic like that, but I didn’t question it. When we got to the park he refused to hold my hand; he said he hated PDA. Now that I think about it, he probably just didn’t want any of his side pieces to see us together like that. I imagine he kept them in the dark about us. His efforts were pointless because about 5 minutes into the date, this bitch in heels comes stomping up to us. Who the fuck even wears heels to the park? Did she know we were going to be there? Does she have a tracker on him? I don’t know.”

Jimin laughs at your commentary and it lightens your mood slightly. It keeps you from getting angry all over again. You take a breath and continue.

“So this girl– we’ll call her Candy because she looked like a stripper– so Candy comes up to us and she starts yelling at him like I’m not even standing there. I really don’t know what she was saying because her voice was too annoying for me to focus on anything. Then she turns to me and says 'He doesn’t want you, he’s with me now. He should have told you this a long time ago.’ And I look at him and he doesn’t say anything! At this point I’m piecing it all together. At first I was like "he can’t be cheating on me with this hoe”, but then everything starts making sense from the past month and the reality hits me.“

"He didn’t say anything?”

“Hold on I’m getting to that. So I pull him to the side for a somewhat private argument because I don’t want that bitch in our business and, frankly, her presence was annoying me. Basically he tells me that he "lost interest” in me and that he was going to break up with me soon.“

"If he felt that way then why the hell did he wait so long and why did he even bother to take you on a date?”

“EXACTLY! That’s what I said, then he compared me to a dog.”

“He called you a bitch?!” Anger flared in Jimin’s eyes for a moment, but you were quick to respond.

“No, he compared me to a lost puppy and said that he would feel bad if he shooed me away. He also said that I worried too much and was too overprotective and that there was a "line of women” waiting to get a piece of him.“ Jimin scoffed. You hold up your hand. "But it gets better. Now this part is kind of on me, I should have just left then, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“Oh God, what did you do?”

“I didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, I just stated facts that Candy got upset about. I told him not to set high standards because he might lose interest in her too quickly.”

“And?”

“And… I may or may not have called her a side chick. In my defense, that is the truth and she shouldn’t be mad at me for just stating an observation. I think my exact words were "you’ve never been the main of anything in your entire life” and that set her off.“

You let Jimin get his giggles out, complementing you on your comeback. When he settled down, you told the climax of your story.

"Apparently that struck a nerve in her because Candy the Hooker got brave and decided to slap me in the face.” The anger bubbled up in Jimin again and you were thankful that he cared that much. “This was the moment that time froze for me. I was faced with two choices: Pop those fake boobs of hers and drag her ass until the cops come, or walk away.”

“Since you’re not in jail, I’m assuming you chose to walk?”

“Actually I’m on the run from the authorities, thanks for letting me crash here.” He looked concerned for a moment and you laughed. “Nah I’m just kidding. But walking away was the hardest choice of my life. I was tempted to just give her a quick sucker punch: a hit and run, but I decided against it and let her off with a warning. I should have taken the shot when I had it.” You said, shaking your head.

“Do you want me to find them and beat them up?” Jimin asked playfully, but you knew he would if that was what you really wanted.

“No. For the same reasons I didn’t; they aren’t worth it. Going to jail for them shows that I care and they aren’t important enough for my time and energy. As long as I never see them again, I think I’m okay.” You rest your head on the pillow and stare at Jimin, who is mentally reviewing the story. You study his face from your angle and realize how perfectly beautiful he is. Butterflies flutter in your stomach and you don’t know why. You choose to ignore them.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m very sure, now let’s go to sleep, I have a headache.” With one more hard look for confirmation, Jimin gets up and flicks the light switch, engulfing the room in darkness aside for the moonlight streaming in through the windows.

Sleep finds you quicker than you anticipate and before you drift off, you roll over, instantly feeling strong arms wrap around your middle comfortably. You realize just how long it’s been since he’s been able to hold you like this. He’s a cuddler, you’re used to being the little spoon.

As he held on to you, watching you sleep, Jimin became restless. All the information you had told him didn’t add up in his mind. How could anyone possibly be unsatisfied with you? You seemed like the perfect girlfriend; you were kind, passionate, caring, and you could stand up for yourself and others if needed. Not to mention you were gorgeous. How could someone be so disrespectful to you, who cared for and loved him so much? How could someone throw that away? There was a shadow of a thought hidden in the back of his mind, fueling the anger he suppressed. It told him to find your ex and beat some sense into him, but he knew that wasn’t what you wanted. He wasn’t worth it. Jimin looked at the back of your head and determined that you were sound asleep. There were a few things he needed to get off of his chest and now felt like the perfect time to do it.

“I know you’re asleep and probably can’t hear me, but there’s so much I need to tell you.” He whispered, voice calm and low, careful not to disturb your peace. “Firstly, I’m sorry you had to go through that break up. He didn’t deserve you and you didn’t deserve the way he treated you. He shouldn’t have been able to give you half effort when you gave him your all.”

You were unsure of how long you had been asleep, but you were awakened by soft words being whispered into your hair. The grip around your waist had gotten tighter and you could feel your back molded into Jimin’s firm body. You soon noticed that Jimin was speaking. Was he talking to you?

“But I can’t say I’m not happy that you’re single now. Not only because I hated your boyfriend, but because I love having your attention. I know it sounds selfish but you’re so beautiful and so loving and it’s an honor just to be around you and to be your best friend. I bet you didn’t know this but for the longest time I wanted to be your boyfriend.” You felt your cheeks heat up at his confession but you stayed still. “I know you probably think it would be disgusting to date me, so I keep it to myself. I push those thoughts away to be a good friend for you when you need me. Tonight was a little hard for me though. You looked stunning and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, especially when your dress fell down.” He paused. “That’s a little creepy I probably shouldn’t have said that.” You fought the urge to laugh so you could listen to what else he had to say. “We always talk about Tae and Hani getting together and it makes me think about us. Would it be so crazy if we got together? Everyone already thinks we’re dating anyway. If I was your boyfriend I would never do anything as stupid as cheat on you. I would never make you cry and would only be supportive. You already have all of my attention and you would only get more of my love. I would buy you anything you wanted and would make sure you were taken care of because that’s what you deserve and I want to give you the world. I would love you forever. The only problem is you I guess. I understand that my feelings aren’t reciprocated, but that doesn’t do anything for my imagination. Oh, if you only knew what kinds of thoughts run through my head every time I see you. I’m sure we wouldn’t be friends if I told you half the things I think about doing to you at night. I wish you felt the same way… And I’m sorry for thinking about all of this when you’re still struggling through a break up, that’s a little insensitive of me; from now on I’ll just focus on comforting you and making you happy. Even though I can’t show it in the way that I want, I’m still going to try my best for you everyday because I love you.” At the end he kissed you gently on the top of your head and you felt like you were going to explode.

Your heart was beating so loud you thought he might be able to hear it. Jimin loves me? You didn’t know what to do. Should you just lay there and pretend like you didn’t hear him, going on like this for the rest of your life? Should you say something? What if he gets embarrassed and can never face you again? And if you were to say something, what would it be? You thought for a moment, feeling Jimin’s body relax behind you. He was probably falling asleep. Shit. You had to think fast. On one hand, you were flattered that he felt that way and wanted to try dating him because you finally realized your attraction to him and how good you guys would be together. On the other, you didn’t like change and kind of hoped that things would stay the same between you two forever. What if you broke up? Would he still be your best friend? You doubted it. But he had just poured his heart out to you– even though he didn’t know you were listening– and you would be foolish not to do anything about it. You decided to do something risky, maybe even a little stupid; you turned around. If you were going to say something, you would be as straightforward as possible and would act with no regrets.

When you turned to face him, your eyes were still closed. Jimin held his breath as his eyes shot open to inspect your face. When your eyelids began to crack open, his heart stopped beating. Did you hear? He could only wait to see what you did.

“It wouldn’t be crazy at all.” You say after a few moments of dense silence and he grows pale. So you did hear.

“W-what?”

“It wouldn’t be crazy if we dated. And no, the thought doesn’t disgust me; it actually sounds quite appealing.”

“What are you saying?” He gulps nervously, trying to wrap his mind around what you meant because you couldn’t possibly be saying what he thinks you’re saying.

“I’m saying,” You scoot impossibly closer to him, a centimeter away from his face. “I wouldn’t mind being your girlfriend.” You were tempted to say “I love you too” but you weren’t ready for that yet. The wounds from your break up were still fresh and it felt wrong to admit that to someone so soon, even if it was true. Even if it was Jimin. He didn’t know what to say or do so you made the next move and leaned in, planting your lips on his. As soon as they connected he responded, pulling your body into his and kissing you passionately. Somewhere along the line his hand made it to your hair, holding your head in place as he deepened the kiss by slipping his tongue past your parted lips. He couldn’t believe this was happening. You were making out with him in his bed. And you said you wanted to be his girlfriend. This had to be a dream.

He pulled away first, reluctantly, and stared at you for a long moment, allowing his eyes to adjust in the darkness. You looked like an angel in the moonlight and it was killing him. Little did he know, he looked even better in your eyes.

“Well that escalated quickly.” He breathed, biting his lip as the taste of your mouth lingered on his tongue. You were a much better kisser than he imagined. Your hand ran up his back and shoulder to travel across his neck and rest on his jawline. Your thumb played with his lips as you spoke.

“What do you think about doing to me at night? I’m curious to know.” Your voice was suddenly very seductive and playful and you didn’t know where all of this was coming from. You decided to roll with it. There was a bit of hesitation on his part, but eventually he spoke up. You assumed it was because he thought you might be offended by what he was about to tell you.

“You really want to know?” You nodded. “I dream about fucking you in every position I can think of. There are so many things I want to try with you it’s driving me insane. And I know how flexible you are so I can’t help but imagine all the ways you can bend for me.” The way Jimin was looking at you made you feel naked, but for once, you didn’t mind. He was undressing you with his eyes, and from what he saw earlier, he probably had a pretty vivid picture of what you looked like.

“I don’t know about the being bent in half part, but you can do whatever you want to me.” You said this with confidence. You trusted Jimin with your life so you weren’t worried about what he would do. The more you thought about him fucking you into the mattress or possibly being kinky, the hotter you got. Your panties were probably already wet.

He took your words as an invitation to your body and didn’t waste any time getting started. Your ex was the only person you had fucked in almost two years. The last time you had had satisfying sex, however, was over two months ago. Somewhere during that time, he had stopped caring about pleasing you and became selfish in bed, only focusing on himself and leaving you to take care of your own orgasm afterwards. Somehow you knew that Jimin would be different.

He hopped from the bed and turned on the lights again, allowing you to see that he had already discarded his shirt on the way there.

“I want to be able to see how beautiful you are.”

You slipped your panties off from under your oversized shirt and threw them onto the floor, smiling when Jimin came back to hover over you. He pulled the sheets away from your body and fiddled with the hem of the shirt, fingers dancing lightly over the skin on your thighs.

“May I do the honors?” You guessed it was more of a rhetorical question because he did it anyway before you could get any words out. He slowly pulled the fabric up, allowing you time to arch your back so he could move it higher, and when he got to the bottom of your breasts, he stopped. “Arms up.”

You followed his instructions, noticing how deep and sharp his voice became, wondering if he was going to be ordering you around like that the rest of the night. Not that you minded at all. In one quick swoop, Jimin snatched the shirt over your head and threw it off the bed. His eyes were transfixed on the way your breasts jumped at the sudden movement and jiggled for a moment. His mouth practically watered at the sight and suddenly he was overcome by the need to explore them. Before you knew it, his mouth was engulfing one of your hardened buds, tongue flicking over it once, twice, making you suppress a groan as your back arched into his touch.

Jimin’s nimble fingers played with your nipple on the other side and groped your breast gently, causing another moan to bubble in your throat. He noticed how you strained to keep quiet and released your flesh from his mouth with a loud suction noise.

“You don’t need to be quiet, I always imagined you moaning and screaming my name.” He planted kisses on the other breast that travelled down your abdomen, kissing every inch of skin along the way, occasionally stopping to suck light marks. “I’ve heard you scream before…” He continued worshiping your body and you never thought it would feel so good. Your ex never took time to do things like this. “I’ve heard you scream so loud at a concert that you lost your voice…” He stops to give you a hickey on your hip bone, to which you groan. “And ever since then I couldn’t stop thinking about if you lost your voice screaming for me.” The last words were whispered as Jimin spread your legs and pecked the inside of your thigh, his tongue peeking out to tease you. A shaky sigh left your lips as you took in the sight in front of you. Your best friend was now sitting between your legs staring at your bare core, giving you hickies on the inside of your thighs as he inched toward where you wanted him.

“Aren’t you going to take off your pants?” You manage to get out, eyes staring intently at the bulge in his pajama shorts as if you would suddenly be able to see through them. Somehow that took priority over what he was about to do to you. You bit your lip in anticipation as he sat up on his knees and yanked his shorts and boxers down impatiently, his cock springing up to slap against his taut lower abdomen. It felt like the wind was knocked out of your lungs as you gazed at him. Jimin was more fit that you remembered. Sure he goes to the gym practically every day, but you had never seen his body like this. Is this what he’s been hiding under all of those baggy sweaters and boyfriend hoodies? He truly looked like a god. The muscles in his arms and pecks flexed with almost every movement he made and you wondered how you had just noticed them. His chocolate abs were complimented perfectly by his honey skin that looked so soft on top of his tense muscles. His thighs were always on display no matter what he wore but they looked even better uncovered. Your eyes trailed down to the deep crests of his V line that led you to the most shocking sight of all. His erection stood tall against him, veins protruding along the length of it, making it so hard that it almost curled with arousal. Honestly, you didn’t expect Jimin to be this big. Based on his fingers and feet, you assumed that he was pretty average sized, but he was bigger than your definition of “average”. His member wasn’t the longest you had seen, but what it lacked in length, it made up for in thickness. The girth of his penis was surprising to you and a pang of nervousness shot through you. It’s a cliche question but you truly wondered, would it be able to fit? He was definitely going to stretch you out.

“Are you okay?” He asked, snapping you out of your trance as he threw his clothes to the side and came back down to hover over you. Your eyes were still locked on his lower half and he looked down at himself as though to see what you were looking at. “What? Were you not expecting this?” Instead of sounding cocky like you thought he would, he sounded slightly concerned, teeth nibbling nervously on his bottom lip. You realized your silence was making him feel uneasy.

“Well, no. Fuck.” His eyes grew wide for a moment and even though he looked like a sex god, you couldn’t help but find him cute. “I’m… impressed. You’re way bigger than what I’m used to, are you sure it’s gonna fit?” It was hard for you not to think about how guys were able to hide their dicks in their pants. Did they tuck them away somewhere? It was amazing to you how he was this big and you had never seen any sign of it, even when he wore tight pants. You came to a conclusion: guys are magicians.

Jimin seemed to beam at your praise, his confidence returning when he heard your concern. He smiled and bent down to peck you softly, effectively calming your nerves. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle, I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to prepare you well.” You trusted him so you nodded, heart beat relaxing slightly when you were reassured.

He wasted no time as he climbed back down your body, head once again between your legs, mouth oh so close to where you wanted it. The slight movement of your hips was enough to make him dip down and lick at your core, tasting how wet you were for him. He hummed and licked you again, this time slower as he dipped his tongue into your entrance a little to collect your leaking juices. Your throbbing clit was only teased with three fleeting flicks before the warmth of his head was gone again. You groan impatiently.

“You’re not going to eat me out?” You couldn’t help the disappointment in your tone.

“Nope. I have other plans.” Jimin moves to your side and leans on his elbow by your head. He slips one hand down your body and shoves a finger into you without warning, causing you to moan loudly, your sweet voice music to his ears. “But you like this too, don’t you?” He comments, adding in a second finger after a few short pumps. You were so wet his fingers slid right in. “Fuck (Y/n), are you clenching around me? You’re so fucking tight.”

All you could do was moan in response because you honestly didn’t have any words for him. Before tonight you had never really thought about him in a sexual way– ok maybe once or twice– but you definitely didn’t see yourself ever doing anything sexual with him, and now he had two fingers shoved deep inside of you, commenting on how tight you were. And you loved every second of it.

“Do you know you’re beautiful? Gorgeous actually.” Jimin whispered while staring at your face. You turn to look at him and immediately lock eyes, his stare heating you from the inside out. There was so much love in the way he looked at you that you felt yourself blush. Or maybe it was lust that you saw. “I’m not sure if your ex ever told you that, but I think it every time I look at you.”

He pressed his lips to yours shyly and you found it sweet how he could be so bashful with you even in a situation like this. How could you not realize that he felt this way about you for so long? His fingers explored the inside of your cavern, searching for something, wiggling and prodding at your walls until you gasped and grabbed his wrist. A thin smile crossed Jimin’s plump lips as he curled his fingers into the spot, observing the way your back curved at the feeling. A sense of accomplishment filled his chest as he worked at your g-spot with a consistent pace, amusement in his eyes as you moaned his name and squeezed his arm.

“Jimin, that feels so good.” You whine when he runs his thumb over your nub in pace with his fingers. A familiar warmth grew in the pit of your stomach and you almost wanted to fight it. There was no way he was that good. You couldn’t possibly be this close to coming already. Hot lips found your neck and you groaned at the sensation of him sucking on your tender skin. The way your walls begin to contract around him alerts Jimin to how close you are.

“Are you close? Can you cum for me?” He asks, voice almost teasing as he adds more pressure on your clit and pushes his fingers into you harder. Your eyes flick to his body laying next to yours, your eyes finding his cock, neglected and pink, patiently waiting to be put to use. The thought of it being inside you pushed you closer to your rapidly approaching orgasm and you bit your lip as you tried to imagine what it would feel like. It seemed much bigger than the fingers that were lodged in your entrance. Jimin must have thought the same thing because before you knew it, he was pushing a third finger in alongside the others. The way they stretched you had you gasping for air and bucking your hips up into his hand. He twisted his wrist as he moved in and out, biting his lip, thinking about how close he was to finally fucking you.

Your furrowed eyebrows and tightly closed eyes made it look like you were in pain but your moans let him know that you were feeling nothing but pure bliss. It was amazing to you how good he was at this. From what you knew, Jimin didn’t sleep around often, but his skills told you that he had a lot of experience. Anticipation built within you as you thought about how his hips moved on the dance floor, your heart pounding as you imagined how he would be able to use them to pleasure you. Your walls began to clench around his fingers when he bent down to take one of your nipples in his mouth again, the heat shooting straight down to your core. The butterflies were going wild in the pit of your stomach and you could feel that you wouldn’t last long.

“Mmm I-I’m close, fuck.” You whimper as he pushes his fingers harder into you. The wet sounds that fill your ears drives Jimin crazy and only makes him go faster, caressing your spot endlessly, desperate to push you to your high. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” You rush. Soon enough, your body tightens up all at once and rippling waves of pleasure shake you as his thumb continues to work at your swollen bud. Instinctively, your legs curl upwards and you try to clamp your thighs around his hand, body becoming sensitive as he keeps his steady movements. You peek open your eyes barely enough to see the look on Jimin’s face. It’s a look of amazement and disbelief, as if he had just witnessed a miracle, soaking in the fact that he had just watched you cum around his fingers, that your pleasure was all because of him.

You push his hand away eventually when you can’t take it anymore and he snaps out of his trance. He’s sweating and breathing just as heavily as you are.

“Wow,” Without a moment’s hesitation, he shoots up and reaches over you to dig in his nightstand. He retracts his hand holding a foil package and your eyes light up once you realize what was about to happen. He was about to fuck you. Were you ready for this? Were you sure you wanted this? Is he just your rebound? No, no, no, absolutely not. You were disgusted by your last thought as you quickly shake it away, your heart arguing with your brain that you actually do have feelings for your best friend and aren’t just doing this in the spur of the moment. You stop him before he rips the package.

“I’m on the pill.”

Jimin sighs in relief but looks at you. He didn’t really care all that much at this point, he just wanted to be inside of you, but he also wanted to make sure you were sure. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to control himself once he was close so he needed know you trusted your decision before things got started. With a final, more confident nod, you gave him permission to proceed and he placed the condom to the side before hovering over you. He looked in your eyes as he lined himself up with your entrance, teasing your slit with his engorged tip, pulling a gasp from you. You rolled your hips when he slid himself between your folds, grazing over your already sensitive clit with his hot skin, sending shivers down your body. He smiled at you as he repeated this a few times, getting a reaction from you with every movement he made.

“Jimin~!” You whined, not being able to handle his teasing any longer. He silenced you by slapping his length against your dripping core, causing you to whimper and flinch. Finally, he decided to give into his desire and give you what you both wanted. With a reassuring smirk, he placed his tip against your slit and let your juices lubricate him, taking advantage of your post-orgasm wetness. Slowly, he pushed himself all the way in, watching you for any signs of discomfort as he struggled to keep his body under control. There was little resistance as he slid inside of you, the stretch feeling more amazing than you could have imagined. Jimin held eye contact with you the entire time, watching to see your reactions as you both moaned at the feeling, the intimacy making your heart flutter and face heat up.

“Oh fuck, (Y/n),” He moaned when he was fully sheathed inside, gentle hands rubbing soothingly up your sides. “How are you still so fucking tight?” Jimin pulled out until only his tip was connected to you, before pushing himself back in with a grunt. You moaned as he moved with shallow thrusts, testing the waters to make sure you were fully adjusted. He bent down to capture your lips, nipping at the flesh as he took his time getting used to the sensation of you wrapping around him like a warm velvety blanket. The way he was gently fucking you felt good, but you both craved more. The shakiness of his breaths told you that he was holding back and that was exactly what you didn’t want him to do, so you bucked up into him harshly to let him know what you wanted. He stuttered for a moment, looking into your expectant eyes as you raised your brows at him. With one more gentle thrust, he adjusted himself and let go of all restraint.

Building up a fast pace almost immediately, he moved your legs so they were up in the air, his hips smacking into the back of your thighs with each thrust. He leaned back on his haunches and threw your legs over his shoulders, grabbing a tight hold on your waist. The look on his face sent shockwaves through your body. He looked like he was in paradise as he watched himself disappear in and out of your dripping entrance.

“Jimin, you’re so big,” You whimpered as he dared to go deeper. The sensation of his member was different from what you were used to, but you had to admit, it felt a whole lot better than when you were with your ex. He continued to stare at you as he bit down on his bottom lip, a ocean of emotions crashing down on him. He couldn’t believe that this was real, but just in case it wasn’t or if somehow you would regret this in the morning, he would make the most out of the opportunity and enjoy every second. You threw your head back when his hand made contact with your ass, the slapping noise resonating within the confines of his room. Your walls tightened unconsciously around him and he almost came right then from the unexpected tightness.

“Oh shit, (Y/n), don’t do that or I’m gonna cum. I want this to last…” He whispered, fingers digging into your sides. He slowed down the pace a bit but he still shook you every time he plunged into you.

“I c-can’t help it, you feel so good.” You stuttered out, thoughts already leaving you. He grinned at the expression on your face, lips parted and eyes squeezed shut in bliss. One of his hands snaked down between your legs, running the pads of his fingertips along your clit, teasing you with light touches. The other hand ran along the length of your torso to pinch at your nipples. Taking one of your breasts into his warm palm, he massaged you as he began to accelerate the pace of his hips again. You moaned as you felt him on all of your sensitive areas, knowing that he was watching your every move with darkened eyes.

The sound of his skin slapping against yours resonated throughout the room, mixing with his soft groans and your whimpers. The feeling of him inside of you was electric and when he crossed your legs in one hand, he seemed to get bigger, filling you up heavily with the added tightness. And when he slowed his pace to rotate and grind his hips against you, you couldn’t stop moaning his name. He reveled in the sound of his name on your lips, pushing him to squeeze your breasts harder and thrust into you faster.

“You like this, baby girl?” He asked, a sinful smirk painted on his lips as he eyes you with a lustful gaze. “You like the way I fuck you?” A side of him that you had never seen before was revealing itself to you. He looked dangerously sexy and the more he got carried away in the feeling of you, the more dirty words spewed from his luscious lips.

“Mhmm,” You nod, lacking the oxygen and words to form a proper reply.

“Let me hear you say it, baby girl. Or should I stop?” He teased and you protested in an outburst, eyes shooting open to look at him pleadingly.

“No!! Don’t stop baby, I fucking love it.” Hearing the words fall from your mouth, Jimin thrusted harder into you, causing you to moan out.

“Has he ever made you feel this good? Has he ever treated your pussy right?” Jimin asks, dropping your legs so he can lean over you to look you in the eye.

“…Who?” If you were being completely honest, you had no idea who he was referring to. All thoughts of your ex boyfriend had been replaced the moment Jimin entered you and now all you could think about was being wrapped in his embrace. He chuckled, taking your reply as an answer to his questions. One hand slid down your side, down your ass to your thigh, and lifted it to wrap around his slim waist while his other hand found yours and intertwined your fingers. He used his nose to nudge the sweaty hair from your neck before leaning down and littering it with kisses and marks.

“You deserve so much better than him. You should be treated like royalty.” He whispered huskily as he nibbled on your earlobe. The deep sound sent shivers down your spine as you panted in his ear, giving his hand a squeeze as he hit new depths inside you. Jimin was possessive, you knew this, but you never thought he would be this possessive over you specifically. The way his voice lowered and how his body trapped you underneath him, told you that he wanted you all to himself, that he wanted to be the one to treat you right. You couldn’t deny it though, this side of him was turning you on beyond belief, as if you weren’t already dripping wet.

The rolling motion of his hips against you was heavenly. With his body pressed so tightly against yours, you could feel his every movement, every muscle flexing as he fucked you deep and hard. His pelvis rubbed your clit nicely and the sensation made your toes curl, a hand flying to grip his hair. Wet lips sucked on the sensitive skin of your neck, just below your ear, until he couldn’t take it anymore and lifted his head to satisfy his hunger for your mouth. Jimin slipped his tongue past your lips almost immediately, moaning at your taste. The feeling of his mouth on yours and his hand kneading and smacking the flesh of your ass was almost too much for you and you felt the knot in your lower belly start to tighten again.

“H-harder Jimin,” You moan onto his lips, eliciting a deep growl from his throat as he pulled away. He moved your leg from his waist and held it out to the side, pushing himself off of his elbows and onto his hands for leverage to pound into you. The headboard hit the wall each time he rocked into you, adding to the cacophony of noises filling the room. Skin slapping, sweat dripping, you were a mess of bodies tangled on his bed sheets. He enjoyed the way your breasts jumped with the force of every slam of his hips and how you bit down on your lips to stop yourself from screaming. Suddenly he was pulled into a trance, studying your body as it reacted strongly to everything he did, the sight of pleasuring you way more satisfying than even his most vivid fantasies of you.

“Fuck, baby girl, you feel amazing.” Jimin moved his grip to your hips and lifted them off the bed as he rose to his knees. There was little time for you to adjust before he was slamming into you at full speed, fingers wound tightly into the sheets, moans going up in both pitch and volume. He was panting above you, sweat cascading down his long neck and sculpted torso as he concentrated on pleasuring you.

“Ah~ Jimin, like that!” You barely had enough breath to whine out the words, his cock stealing the air right out of your lungs. The angle that your hips were at allowed him to deliver mind blowing pleasure every time he inserted himself back into you, his fingers digging bruises into your hips to keep you in place. The sounds he was making only drove you closer to the edge, his loud moans and grunts of your name making you clench even tighter around his throbbing member.

“Shit, (Y/n), I can feel you pulsing. You gonna cum again?” He asked, a small smirk spreading across his lips. You moan out something close to a yes and you can see the way his jaw clenches at how sexy you sound. “Tell me: who’s making you feel so good?”

“You Jimin, I fucking love your cock!!” He hummed in approval and rewarded you with an extra hard thrust. You wouldn’t even be able to imagine how many times he’s dreamed of hearing you saying that.

“That’s right,” He growled. “I’m the only one who can make you feel this way.” He breathed between pants.

“Oh God, I’m g-gonna–” You trailed off as you completely lost your train of thought. He was pounding into you mercilessly and you felt like you could explode at any moment. All that was leaving you were helpless moans of Jimin’s name as you chased after your second high. At some point your hand traveled between your legs and now found your clit, working at it feverishly. Jimin groaned at the sight.

“Go 'head baby, cum on my cock. Let me feel you.” He encouraged as your fingers worked faster. His hands lowered you slightly to accommodate your trembling limbs and the new angle sent you flying over the edge with a loud whine of his name. Your walls squeezed him hard and he almost doubled over at the feeling, your fluttering walls dragging him deeper into the depths of bliss. He slowed down slightly for you as you shook violently, vision blurring in the blinding wall of ecstasy, and you weren’t sure if you were breathing anymore; hell, you didn’t care. When you couldn’t take it any more, Jimin pulled out and dropped your hips.

“Your mouth,” He sounded frantic as he gripped his dick and pumped it harshly, waiting for you to scramble onto your wobbly knees in front of him. You looked up at his face and took his tip into your mouth, causing a moan to rip from his throat. His hand movements got faster as you used the tip of your tongue to tease his head, licking over the slit lightly and circling around it before taking it between your lips.

“(Y/n),” He strained. “C-can I cum in your mouth?” As soon as you nodded his muscles tightened up, his veiny hand pulling out his release with every stroke. The white liquid spurted out onto your tongue and you opened your mouth to let him see the view. Jimin grunted your name as he came undone, groaning when your mouth wrapped around him again to suck every last drop from him. He removed his hand and you gave him a couple of deep sucks before you released him from your mouth, a trail of saliva and semen connecting your lips and his tip. With one big gulp, you swallowed everything he had given you and stuck out your tongue to show him the evidence.

“Mmm,” You hummed as he came down to kiss you.

“Why are you so fucking hot?” He groaned as he plopped down on the bed, pulling you on top of his chest.

You sat in silence for a while, letting the reality of what you had just done sink in. You and your best friend just fucked. What did that mean? You hoped it was something good. Jimin was the first one to break the silence.

“Please say something.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know, just, something.” He sighed. “We just fucked, (Y/n). There has to be a million things running through your head right now.”

You didn’t say anything for a minute, feeling his heart rate go up as you held him in suspense. “I just don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” You look up at him. “You already know how I feel, I just want to know how you feel; If this was a mistake.” He looks away from you and your hand comes up to his cheek.

“No. What we just did was not a mistake.” His gaze falls back on you. “You just gave me the best orgasms I’ve ever had and made me feel more loved than I’ve ever felt the entire time I’ve been with my ex. You did nothing wrong.” You smiled up at him and he returned it easily. You wondered how he was so effortlessly perfect and why you had never realized it until today.

“I can make you feel like that every day if you want.” The flirtatiousness in his voice made you giggle and blush, but you’d take him up on that offer any day.

“I thought you said you didn’t do friends with benefits situations?”

“I don’t, I want you to be my girlfriend, not my fuck buddy, silly.” He laughs and you feel your heart skip a beat at the thought.

“And I want you to be my boyfriend.” You, becoming Park Jimin’s girlfriend. Dating your best friend that you’ve probably been in love with forever. It felt good thinking about it.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear those words.” He beams, closing his eyes as your words echo in his mind. “Every time I saw you, I imagined myself as your boyfriend. Holding your hand, telling you how much I love you, going on dates, taking you home afterwards…” You roll your eyes. “I was so jealous of that asshole because he had you and he treated you like you were less than your worth. You deserved better, someone who can make you happy.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true! And I can be that better person. I can be the person that makes you happy and supports you; I’ve been doing it for years. I just want you to accept that I love you; more than just a friend. And I don’t want you to regret this.”

“Jimin, the only thing I regret is not realizing this sooner. And considering I’m still laying in your bed naked, I think it’s safe to say that I’m okay with this whole thing. More than okay.” You trace a finger down his chest and it gives him goosebumps.

“So… are we dating now?”

“Yes.” You laugh. “And in case it’s still unclear, I love you too.”

Reaching up, you plant a kiss on his lips to seal the deal and he gladly reciprocates it, relishing in the comforting feeling of your lips on his. “I love you a thousand times more.”

“Pft, cheesy.”

“Shut up.” He laughs.

You roll off of him so he can get up and turn off the lights, realizing that it was way past your bedtime and actually almost morning. He comes back and pulls the sheets over your bodies, allowing you to cuddle into the warmth his side.

“Oh God, what are we going to tell the others?” You groan, thinking of all the teasing you’ll get from your friends later, especially Hani.

“Well, you can tell them how big you think my dick is and I’ll tell them about how I made you scream my name.” Jimin grinned through the darkness, giggling when you hit him on the chest. “What’s wrong with telling them we’re dating?”

“It’s not that, I just don’t feel like being teased about all the hickies you left on me.” You complain. 

“I can give you more if you want.” Before you knew it, Jimin’s lips were on you again leaving playful marks for the whole world to see while you laughed along, enjoying his company, feeling truly loved for the first time in a while as he held you in his arms.

A/N: Ya girl just finished her first month of senior year and things were a little crazy for a while. Since I never really had a schedule in the first place, I’ll probably just post randomly whenever I can get anything written and edited (wait, don’t I already do that?) but I’ll try to keep writing and working on my skills. Feedback is appreciated :) Hope you enjoyed!!

[multiverseofmiracleshq]

After taking him into custody at the C.R.A.D.L.E. Facility, it became clear that former X-Men: Blue member turned Dark X-Men Jimmy Hudson was suffering from some kind of mental manipulation. It took a meeting with his ex-girlfriend and former teammate Jean Grey to start the process of setting things right, further solidifying that there was a telepath working against the Island.

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL COMPLETE CHAT LOG COVERAGE OF THE MINI IC

JEAN: It had taken her a while. Jean knew that was wrong, but there were a thousand excuses she could have given as to why she had been dragging her feet. Things between her and Jimmy had ended on a strange note, to say the least. Life had turned, for the lack of a better word, into a complete and utter clusterfuck. She had Phoenixed out, died, resurrected as an amnesiac, nearly become a living sacrifice and somehow rallied to defeat the cosmic entity that had taken her older self out for a decade. Good job, Jean. Way to somehow make the end of the world about you but still manage to scrape your way back. Throughout the mess, there was someone Jean thought would be there holding her hand. She had loved Scott for a long time. For almost as long as she had met him, actually, even if she had hated him too. Scott and Jean had made a promise to each other as teammates, best friends and eventually something more. There had been a lingering fear the first time she had given herself to him fully - the first time she gave herself to anyone -  but intimate relations hadn’t been what had pulled them apart. That was the future they had walked into. So, no. It wasn’t Scott holding her hand. It had been Jimmy. Jimmy, who had been nothing but sweet, supportive and kind. Jean had been desperate to reclaim a sense of self after she had clawed her way from her grave and Jimmy had been sucked into the vortex. She had chosen to sleep with him. She had chosen to be with him. She had chosen to offer a weak ‘thank you’ and run off hand in hand with Scott when he told her that he loved her. It wasn’t entirely uncalled for, Jean had reasoned with herself. It was understandable. They were in danger of being forced back into the past they had been stolen from. Jimmy wouldn’t fit in her life if she had none of her own to speak of. So, she planned to try and get in touch but first they were on the run and then they were attempting some reckless scheme that somehow worked. Fresh out of a pod with a literal new lease on life, Jean had kissed Scott and told herself she’d find Jimmy later. Even when she heard he wasn’t on Krakoa she kept telling herself that she’d find him or at least his mind, but she was a hypocrite. She couldn’t go around with Scott like they were the golden freaking couple of the X-Men when she knew she was being inconsiderate and potentially a little cruel. Maybe she deserved to go on ice. A collar around the throat got her down initially, the cooler at the C.R.A.D.L.E. Facility Center doing the rest. Scott had tried to explain it some as he wrapped her in a blanket to help her thaw out. Power dampers, inhibitor collars and a tube below freezing to keep the mind slow and easier to sedate. She hadn’t come to until after they got to Krakoa, snuggled up in her bed twenty-one days after they had initially arrested her. Being restrained and unconscious for a month was a kind of discomfort she was unfortunately becoming familiar with. What was unfamiliar was the news that Jimmy had been there. Jimmy, her missing ( technically ) ex-boyfriend who had apparently been more than a little angry. Feral, if Scott was to be believed. Laura had apparently been going through some stuff of her own and nearly ripped him to shreds but he was alive, healing and being held in Krakoa. Awesome. After taking time to get her head straight and get her telepathy working without a migraine she finally decided to show her face. There were promises made that if he somehow got out she’d call for help because Scott would come instantly, but Jean didn’t want it to come to that. She had helped Laura escape her trigger scent telepathically. Hopefully this would’t be as intense as that. Pushing the door closed with the heel of her boot, it felt a little too formal to be in her uniform but it was too late to go change now. “We were really worried about you, you know.” If she had pockets her hands would have been in them, so instead she just wiped her palms on her pants. “I know I need to apologize, but first I have to ask: what the hell happened to you?”

JIMMY: It was easier to Hate. It was easier to maim, attack, kill, punish. Kept him away from his thoughts. Kept him from laying in a crying mess on the floor. A scared boy that was ripped away from his family too soon and had his world torn apart as he just stood by watching. It took him ages to take his own destiny by the throat and not just run in fear as an outlaw, but more importantly it took one person to push him there. To make him a man worth respecting. Turn the no good troublemaking under achiever known as Jimmy Hudson into something worth being, someone who helped found a nation, found love, and destroy those who would seek to destroy his people; Kitty Pryde. But Jean couldn't just be satisfied with taking his home, dashing their hopes, destroying Rogue's best friend, and killing his friends and family, no, she had to take Kitty too. She was the person who made him into a good man, into Wolverine. Jean only destroyed his life at every turn and it seemed like she wouldn't be done until he was dead. He had to be strapped into a seat. They knew better than to just keep him in a cage. Knew a Wolverine couldn't be contained. He managed a few near escapes between ripping bands and nearly gnawing off his own limbs to escape but they caught on to quick and stopped him. How the General of Utopia had fallen. As her sickening stench burned his nostrils he looked to the red headed devil in front of him. His teeth instinctually became coated in metal, claws piercing through his flesh as he lurched forward in his seat. "Don't even try putting on that bullshit act." He snarled as his claws slowly receded into his body. "You know exactly what happened to me. Who you took from me."

JEAN: When you’re a telepath they teach about boundaries. Sometimes you can look into minds, sometimes you can’t. It’s a weird set of rules that are hard to explain to people who don’t know what it’s like to have the ever present temptation of knowing more than what someone may be saying. Jimmy’s presence was a wave of anger. Jean had expected some, but not the dark cloud that was being emitted. “I know I was a dick, but my act isn’t bullshit.” She tried to keep the hurt from flickering in her voice. “But you and I are on very different pages.” Walking towards him, Jean’s eyes flashed for only a moment to get a glance inside his mind. Blood. Pain. Loss. And rage. So, so much rage. Eyes snapping open, Jean hissed and lightly brushed her temple. Head tilting to the side, a strong sense of unease rose up in her. “Who do you think I am?”

JIMMY: Feeling her touch in his mind he was disgusted. His skull encasing itself in metal to try and force her out as he used the techniques Kitty taught him to keep telepaths out. What disturbed it most of all was that if only for a moment he felt some comfort from the touch of her mind. "Keep your dirty mind the fuck away from me, Jean." He spat out. His hands clenched so tight his nails cut into his flesh as drops of crimson slowly dripped to the floor. "I don't know what you're trying to do here, but don't think for a damn second that you can make me forget all that you've done to us." His tone lost its extreme aggression but it was cold and concise. The way he looked at her, studied her, wasn't as if they were once friends but as if he was studying a target. Looking for the right chance to kill them. He survived her Phoenix once and he could do it again.

JEAN: “Okay, asshole.” Now, she was angry. Both hands landed on her hips as she stared him down. “We had sex, you told me you loved me and I ran off with my ex-boyfriend. I’m selfish but my mind is’t dirty and you need to cool it. Someone did something to you.” She rolled her shoulders back. “But you didn’t quit on me when I forgot who I was and the Hellfire Club tried to use me. I love you. Maybe not like you loved me, but we’ll work this out.”

JIMMY: Jimmy scoffed. He remembered having sex with her, in her floating towers of Tian. He hated every second of it. He wanted to claw his own eyes out for even seeing her like that. However it was the price he had to pay for bringing Tian down and it was worth it. "Oh would you just shut the fuck up?" he replied as he leaned forward in the seat putting strain on his bindings. "No one could ever love a rotten, traitorous, murderous bitch like you. Only friends you ever had were either scared of you or manipulated by you and I'd rather have you tear me apart with your space canary right now than pretend that we were ever close."

JEAN: Stay calm, Jean. Clench your fists and don’t let your hair float around your face. She didn’t default to crying. Jean had never been one to automatically go there. Usually she got mad before there were tears. Right now she was fuming. “You shut the fuck up.” His chair telepathically bumped backwards slightly. “Believe it or not, people love me for some weird reason. I don’t get it either.” Hank, Scott, Jimmy. Logan in the future. People were drawn to Jean but she didn’t get it. She just hurt everyone no matter what version of her it was. “I have friends, and I have people who love me so I’m not going to let you break me down. I’m also not the Phoenix anymore, which you knew when you had a functioning brain cell. There’s no Phoenix period. It’s gone.” The energy she let curl around her fist as an example was pink, no red or gold sparks in sight. “You want me to tear you apart, Jimmy? Fine. I’ll tear you apart if it fixes whatever’s wrong with you.”

JIMMY: "You've done it before? What's stoppin' ya now? Tired of getting your ass kicked after I heal up?" The sound of grinding metal filled the air as his jaw clenched. She was an extremist who needed to be put down. "Look, I don't know what kind of fucking game you're trying to play here but I don't care what you do to me. Just now that you'll get it back tenfold when I get the chance. Then once you're lobotomized I'll get Kitty back and we'll start over. President Osborn did what Rogers couldn't. He decriminalized being a mutant. Everyone's going to leave you once they know the worlds becoming a safer place and they don't have to cling to a tyrant for safety."

JEAN: “Done it before? We’re clearly living in very different worlds and I’m pretty sure mine is the real one. Let’s back up from threatening to kill each other and sort this out.” Jean moved to sit in the chair opposite him. At that moment it was a terrible time to have empathic powers. “The only Rogers we have is Steve and Cap died a year ago. President Norman got me and other mutants arrested because we’re under twenty-one. Right now we’re on Krakoa, where you’ve lived a year. It’s a sovereign mutant nation. They brought me here from the past and I can tell you the world is a lot more accepting than it used to be. We don’t even have one set leader. And Kate?” Jean cocked her head to the side. “Kitty. She goes by Kate. Red Queen of the Hellfire Club and Emma Frost’s prodigy. No offense, dude, but she’s never paid you any mind. She’s off drinking a little too much and being a bad ass. She hasn’t gone anywhere and I can prove it if you’ll let me help you.”

JIMMY: "More fucking mind games?" Jimmy groaned only growing agitated. "Yeah. President Steve Rogers, formerly known as Captain America. He died a year ago and now President Osborn is filling in. Stop trying to mess with me." He just ignored her as she went on about Krakoa. He could care less about where they were. The only place he ever felt was his home was Utopia, which Jean helped kill alongside Thaddeus Ross. But when she spoke about Kitty it hit different. His face drooped for a moment as his stomach sunk. His breathing grew heavy for a moment as he remembered dancing in the starlight of Utopia. One of the moments he felt most at peace. "You keep her name out of your mouth..."

JEAN: “Steve Rogers was never president, he was only ever Captain America. These mind games aren’t exactly fun, so even if you don’t believe me know that I’m not playing.” ...And there it was. Kitty, an apparent soft spot. It made Jean feel weird to consider her former professor being intimate with her only ex. “Kate Pryde is my friend. She’s a mentor. The older version of me mentored her. Jean would know what to do right now.”  The last part was muttered under her breath. “You’ve insulted me, spread lies about the world and clearly hate me but I’m sorry to tell you that you’re wrong on almost all accounts. None of those things have happened. Not here, at least. You and I met when you joined my old team, X-Men: Blue.”  She leaned forward and rested her head in her hands. “And you liked me. I know you did. Scott did too. He and I were together, but things changed. We went to war with the Avengers and you were there for me.” As she spoke telepathic thoughts floated between the two. Nothing forceful, only the ghosts of memories and hints of images that had come and gone. “You loved me. Maybe I didn’t deserve it, but you did. I’ve seen a side of you that I think is real and this isn’t it.”

JIMMY: None of this was making sense. Kitty was just about the same age as Jean. Maybe a year or two younger, but she was only a year older than him. She'd be what, 24 now? And now she's talking about another Jean? He didn't argue as much this time, he inhaled deeply through his nose, taking in her pheromones and listening to her heart. She didn't seem to be lying. "I've never heard of X-Men: Blue." He thought back to her. "I met you when you showed up at my school. News was out that I was a mutant and you promised to take me away so I could make a difference and so I wouldn't be arrested for being a mutant. Then you used me." The last phrase had some emphasis on it. "The only Scott I can think of is Scott Summers and he died when I was just gettin' my learners permit." He hesitated to respond to the comment of loving her. "The only woman I've ever loved is Pryde. You're confused."

JEAN: Maybe they were getting somewhere. “We’re a makeshift team. Hank McCoy didn’t like the world or how Scott and Emma were running around trying to start this group called Nation-X so he pulled the original X-Men from the  past. Me, Hank, Bobby, Warren and Scott. It’s why I’m twenty-one ( as of last month, so happy birthday to me ) and my older self is thirty-one. Blue was just a good place to stick us, and Kate took a chance. She didn’t try and force us to go back to the past. You didn’t want us to either. We were staying on Madripoor.” Jean bit her lip and straightened up, gnawing for a second. “If anyone was in trouble it would be us. We were never meant to be here. I couldn’t save you from arrest, but I could be your friend. My team has always been a family even if we got scattered. And Scott... You’re right. I did accidentally use you but definitely not in the way you’re referring. I’m kinda a lot, like, all the time. Sometimes it’s not my fault, but you were better to me than I deserved. You say you only loved Kate, but that’s not entirely true.” This time, Jean floated a memory with intention. It wasn’t meant to be entirely invasive but for one moment the image of them and that night appeared. Following it was the day Jean and the group had ran. She let the I love you be heard and her silence, her nauseating guilt over not saying it back to show it was real. “I’m confused a lot, but not here.”

JIMMY: "Bobby?" The words escaped him with some surprised. He owed him his life. He stood by Kitty and Jimmy when the Sentinels raided the south west and the mutants were forced to hide in tunnels. He hadn't seen him since but that man would always be a friend to Jimmy. "Okay... Sounds crazy... But I can smell that you're not lying." None of what she was saying rang any bells for him but the moment she sent the memory over he began getting flashes from the past. More of that night and the day of his arrest were filling in. Something in his mind was resisting and inflicting pain on him as he groaned, and his fangs recoated themselves in metal. "I...!" He groaned as his claws then proceeded to pierce through his skin. "Remember that night...!" he said through gritted teeth as the memories of burning from cosmic fire and the peace he felt with Jean that night.

JEAN: “Bobby. One of my best friends for as long as, well, as long as I can remember.” Jean perked up slightly, the exhaustion from having someone she cared about verbally berate her waning momentarily. “I guess that’s better than smelling my shampoo.” The chuckle awkwardly left her mouth. “I promise, Jimmy. I’m being honest. I should have found you a long time ago.” As he began to act distressed, Jean stood and slowly moved forward before hesitantly reaching out to see if he’d let her touch his hand. “Please, let me help you. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll unhook you. I’ll do what I can but if you sense I’m lying or doing something I shouldn’t you can do what you want. You’re my friend and I don’t want to see any friend suffer.” That was in addition to her own guilt that if maybe she had reached out sooner she could have found hm before someone got in his head.

JIMMY: "Don't...!" He said as he forced his chair to fall back and away from Jean. He was unpredictable right now, operating off of instinct. If this was true he didn't want to accidentally kill her. "Madripoor..." he groaned. "There was a festival... We stayed with Magneto..."

JEAN: “I trusted Erik. I trusted him before anyone else did, and so I convinced everyone to stay with him. Work with him. Lorna supervised sometimes. Bloodstorm joined, but she died. I was waiting to tell you.” When he moved Jean made no further motions to come any closer. “I didn’t think you’d stay with us. I mean, no one was sure how to treat us. That’s why they wanted to send us back. The last time I saw you, you and Laura were helping us escape. So, thank you. But Laura, do you remember her? She subdued you at the Facilities. She’s Logan’s daughter. Which, means you’re siblings. Kind of. No one has been themselves. They arrested us because of Osborn’s Laws. It’s where we found you.”

JIMMY:  "Logan..." He said with a heavy breath as he connected two and two. "James Howlett... My birth father... He's dead..." What she was saying made sense. Laura had a similar scent to himself and that could easily explain it. Osborn didn't lock them up because they were terrorists? What was going on? He thought to himself as a new wave of pain washed over him. "You... You found me in the Yukon... I was confused... Alone..."

JEAN: “Alive.” She corrected him gently. “Alive and almost made a baby with me. Older me, that is. Long story. We’ll go over it another time.” As he remembered he grew more anxious and Jean could feel it popping out of him. Thoughts were like bubbles she tried to avoid, but she continued to try and pass as many his way as possible. Not to rewrite, but to help remember. “Right. And you may be confused now, Jimmy, but you’re not alone. We’re going to work this out together.”

JIMMY: "Is... Is Rogue alive?" He called out in pain as he remembered her sacrifice herself for the rest of them during the convergence. All the pain she felt, how alone she always was. She deserved so much better. He twitched, his binds reaching their limits as memories of fighting alongside X-Men Blue came rushing in his head merging with his memories of skulking through the Deserts with Psylocke, Black Tom, and Storm. It was all getting so confusing for him. "I don't know what happened here and what happened at home, Jean." He said almost pleading, his voice being reminiscent of her Jimmy. "What about my other siblings?" He asked. "Did I kill Pietro?"

JEAN: “Rogue’s alive. Anna-Marie and Remy got engaged but they broke up. Gambit’s with Polaris but he and Rogue are still working with Betsy.” Hearing him distressed was nearly too much and Jean moved forward without thinking. “Pietro’s dead. At least, in this reality. We have one from Earth-616  and he’s a real prick. He and Erik don’t get along. Wanda’s fine. Better than fine, actually. She helped me end the Phoenix. Her Pietro is the one who died a long time ago fighting Ultron. Jimmy,” Jean ran a hand through her hair. “I’m not Emma or my older self but you have to let me help you. Someone did something, but I think I can take them.”

JIMMY:  Wanda was alive too? His world was so full of death that nearly every person Jean had named had long since been dead. Memories of the two of them began coming in more readily. All the little moments, all the times he sacrificed for her. "I... I trust you..." He said looking to her as he was forced to mix and relive his life in his own universe to his life from this universe.

JEAN: “I’m really glad to hear you say that.” Jean exhaled gratefully. This time she did touch him. Her telekinesis unhooked the bindings in a flurry of pink, a way she could try and  show him that she wasn’t going to hurt him. “I’ve been training with Jean.” She reassured him. That being said, the memories still hit her like a ton of bricks to the face. There were the memories she was familiar with and the ones she weren’t. For the half she had been privy to it was strange to see herself from the other side but the others were so full of tragedy and sorry. Those made tears run in salty rivets down her cheeks but she kept her eyes closed and kept working. One here, one there. It wouldn’t solve the issue of who he was but differentiating reality would be a good start. When she got near the end she saw it. Him. Mesmero. He had be there, in his mind, twisting it around. His psychic imprint cut through Jean’s own mind before she could wipe it away, the burn radiating through her mind. And then, she was done. The surgery - so to speak - was done. Her older self would have been faster, more efficient. Jean was just proud to have done it at all. As she left her hands fall from  the temple her body sagged to the side, tailbone colliding painfully with the ground as her chest heaved. “Fuck him.”

JIMMY: Jimmy laid there near motionless on the floor with shaky breath. Things were much more clear to him now but being forced to go through both of his lives took a lot out of him. For the first time since he could remember he wanted to cry, but his tears dried up long ago. It wasn't until now that everything hit him. Jean didn't love him but he still felt love for her. Kitty was gone. Dead with his entire reality and everyone he loved from it. One lover laid on the floor not far from him and the other was shattered and spread across the multiverse. He was heartbroken. Stabbing his claws into the floor out of sheer frustration. "Thanks Jean..." Was all he could manage. Still not able to look at her. "I owe you one..."

JEAN: While he took a moment she had drawn her knees up towards her chest, head buried on the green and black fabric of her pants. Jean loved Jimmy. It was complicated and it wasn’t to the extent that he had for her, but it was there. Right then, however, she was just tired. “You don’t need to thank me.” Her voice was muffled. “What Mesmero did was inexcusable. I’m just  really, really glad you didn’t  murder me while I was drugged up at C.R.A.D.L.E.” Lifting her head, she peeked over her arms at him. “Let’s just call it even. I’ve got a lot to apologize for.” Her eyes flitted downwards. “And I’m sorry.  About Kitty and Rogue and everyone else. I didn’t know. And I feel like I need to apologize for her. The one that hurt you. Me. We’re known for being power crazed and terrible, so I’m sorry.”

JIMMY: Hearing their names made his eyes feel like they were about to swell before he swallowed hard and forced down his emotions. They were gone. He needed to accept that. "He's going to die." Jimmy replied in a very matter of fact way, unusual to the Jimmy she was used to. This was the man he was before the convergence speaking. He rose from his floor and wandered to the unused cot in the room before sitting on the edge of it. "He's a traitor to our species and it's time for him to go down." In this world Jimmy hadn't killed anyone, but back home he had lost track. There was a lot he had to do for the sake of Utopia that he took no pride in. As far as he was concerned he wasn't a good guy. Just a weapon that could be used for good. "You're not her. Apology accepted." He added before rotating on the cot and laying down. "I'm not ready to see everyone. I'm going to stay down here for a while."

JEAN: “Something happened to Emma. Someone tampered with her mind. We weren’t sure if it was Madelyne, but I’ll tell them to look into Mesmero. You may have some competition.” His tone didn’t scare her, per se, but she didn’t like it. It was understandable but not preferable. Jimmy had grown a lot since they had met and now it seemed as if he was someone else entirely. He was someone else, in some ways. Jean nodded at his declaration but she knew she’d see it in her dreams: another Jean going mad. Pulling herself to her feet and wiping off her pants, green eyes tracked his motion. “You know where I am. Now that we’re allowed to stay we have a habitat settlement. Sometimes I go to the Summers habitat to help Jean with the baby, but I don’t stay there. If you need me, just think. I’ll be able to pickup your thoughts.” Jean took a few steps towards the door. “Jimmy, I’m really glad to see you again.”

JIMMY:  "As long as he's gone I don't care who does it." He responded, just wanting to be alone. He didn't want to come off as rude but it was hard not to in this moment. He was just so tired. "Understood. I'll reach out to you if I need to." He said knowing full well he had little to know intention of actually trying to reach out to her. Rolling onto his side to look at her he nodded with a half smile. "Glad to see you too, Jean. Take care of yourself." He responded before rolling over to his opposite side and facing the wall.

JEAN: With one last small smile Jean tugged the door open and slid into the sunlight. She’d explain what happened, what she had seen. They’d look for Mesmero and hold him accountable. And after a while, Jean would check in again. Give him a moment to grieve. Something was up on Krakoa and they’d need to figure it out.

[khaleesiofthegreatdairystate]

It’s okay when my jerk does it

I well and truly don’t care about Once Upon A Time anymore. I still watch it only because I get a perverse joy out of watching it get worse and seeing just how low the writers are willing to go. If I cared about this show, I might want to flip tables over the fact that this week they pissed on Nealfire’s grave in order to make Rumple sympathetic. I mean, seriously why do the writers hate his character so much? He’s dead. Why did they have to throw his corpse under the bus?

Anyway, it seems there are still a lot of people who care at least something for this show or rather care to hate on certain characters. The biggest targets of this hate are probably Rumple,  Hook, and Regina. Zelena gets a lot of hate, too but no one really opposes the “I hate Zelena” camp since she’s been an unrepentant villain who’s screwed over a lot of the characters and her fan base doesn’t seem to be too big so there’s not a crowd of people who clamor to defend her.

What’s funny to me about the fans who hate Hook are silent when Rumple stalks, traps, and terrorizes Belle when they’re so eager to call out the horrible things Hook does to Emma. Some of them even suggest that Belle is in the wrong. Yeah, the abuse victim is just so inconsiderate to her attacker. Rumple also lies to Belle as easy as breathing but then anti-Hook fans turn around and (rightly) condemn Hook for all the times he lied to Emma. It’s not a short list, either. It honestly kind of baffles me. Anti-Rumple people do the same thing, too. Hook has done some awful things, killing poor Robert for literally no fucking reason at all comes to mind. His redemption arc is crap because he still lies to people, whenever he has an excuse to be bad, either getting his hand back or becoming a DO, he’s right back to EVIL PIRATE MAN, he hasn’t apologized to anyone’s he’s hurt in SB, he still lies to people all the time, and he’s put his goodness entirely on Emma. He became “good” to get in her pants, not because he had this story line about self discovery and wanted to make up for his past wrongs. Spike or Angel he is not.

So yeah, I don’t get Hook or Rumple fans. Why do they not see when the other does horrible things it’s some how the worst thing ever but when their woobie pulls some awful crap, it’s totally understandable? Do they not see the hypocrisy?

Regina isn’t immune from this either. I like her character a lot but she hasn’t given the hearts in her vault back to their owners. To me the biggest whitewashing done to Regina is how she’s never really been taken to task for all the horrible things she’s done like raping Graham, manipulating Henry in the earlier seasons, and not apologizing to anyone for the curse or trying to make up for it in anyway. That’s not even getting into all she did in the EF. However, what you can say for Regina though is that she’s stopped doing bad things and she has one of the least selfish story lines right now. She doesn’t want to be with AU Robin and has accepted that he’s a different guy. All she wants to do is give him “his best chance.” She’s also no longer bitching about how unfair life is for her like she did in season 4 when Robin’s wife was in SB. I only started to like her character recently. I used to be right their with the anti-Regina people, so if anyone has a really solid case about why Regina hasn’t changed at this point, and she’s still a bad person with out comparing her to any other characters on the show. I’d be willing to hear it.

I will say this though. Lana Parrilla, Robert Carlyle, and Colin O'Donoghue are all good actors (Robert is a great one) and their talents are wasted on this stupid show. I’ll even say their characters are wasted on this show. I loved Rumpelstiltskin for the first 3 seasons and I think he’s a great villain. Regina could have had an Xena-like redemption story if she would have been handled properly. Hook could have been either a good villain or a character who became a hero with a believable redemption story line that wasn’t centered around becoming Emma’s arm candy. That didn’t happen though. The show has great examples on how to fuck up potentially interesting character stories, which is why I no longer care about it.

[youthoughtthiswasover-blog]

Dear Aural,

I hope you are doing better since I’ve removed myself from your life. But to be bluntly honest I don’t really care how you are feeling. I just wanted to explain why I look forward to never seeing or hearing from you again.

To be frank, you are one of the most toxic, self centred, immature, spoilt, self absorbed, selfish, inconsiderate, oblivious people I have ever come across. I honestly wish I had never agreed to invite you into my household. I deeply regret wasting my time and energy on trying to be friends with you. From the very start it’s always been an incredibly one sided friendship. One where I put in all the time and effort and you, take and give nothing back. I am in awe at how incredibly oblivious you are to anyone but yourself.

In the beginning I thought we were friends and that you were actually a considerate person. When you were over for sleepovers at Morgan’s parents place you seemed to be aware of other people and that your behaviours could affect them. I was kind to you when you came to stay with us on suicide watch. But you didn’t even notice or care what that cost me. Did you know that while you were there I didn’t eat for the entire week? Did you know that I had a minimum of 8 panic attacks during that week? Did you know that I still went to work, and that I used my breaks to lock myself in the bathroom to have an anxiety attack? Did you know that no matter how deep I cut my skin that nothing changed? I thought that maybe we had some common ground to stand on and that maybe we could be friends. I didn’t blame you for bringing up those things in my past.

So I put in the effort to be friends. I bought your favourite snacks and drinks. I invited you over to hang out and offered to do a girls day out, I helped you clean your apartment. I brought food to your house because I knew you were tight on money. I invited you to go to a con with Morgan and I, I made the effort to message you on discord and chat, I gifted you art, and an outfit to wear to the con. I tried to include you in ‘girly’ things and make you feel accepted and have a good time. I genuinely cared.

It seems almost glaringly obvious that you didn’t even really make the slightest of effort in return. You were happy to receive and give nothing at all back. I don’t know why I thought living with you would be any different. You wonder why people walk out of your life? Well here it is. You don’t care about them enough to make yourself even the slightest bit uncomfortable for them. You aren’t someone who can or will be there when they need it. You run from any form of hardship or discomfort faster then a spaceship. Even if it has nothing to do with you.

It was pretty clear to me that once I was no longer the romantic interest  of your friend that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Without so much as a word of comfort to me you stopped talking to me or even acknowledging I was there at all. You ignored me for months. That’s how you treated someone you once called a friend. You seem incapable of understanding that people other then you have stress and problems too. Unlike you, for the rest of us our failures have real life ramifications. If I fail to show up to work, I lose my job, my home, my cats, everything. You don’t have a job. You live off the government. You lose nothing, you have no responsibilities. You ask everyone to be quiet at 8pm on a Friday night because you’d like to sleep. You can sleep at anytime of the day or night, you could sleep while the rest of us are out of the house or at work. Because the two of us who help pay for said house have full time jobs. As well as cooking, cleaning and paying for pretty much all basic household items. You want to make food once in a blue moon but say “Oh, I’ll wait until the dishes are done.” Because someone’s going to wash them for you. When food is made you don’t say please or thank you, you complain about “oh well it has onions in it.” “It’s too hot/cold.” You come off like a spoiled little kid.

But you didn’t seem to care about the effort that others put in to make your life easier. You don’t seem to give a damn about anyone else’s life while you were loud late into the night, multiple times, every week, keeping me awake. Either ignoring when I knocked on your door or you never heard or cared when I made sure you were aware that I work six, sometimes seven days a week. Did you know that’s only 3/4 days off a month?

The funny thing is, if you are so bothered by the fact others can hear you, then why are you so obnoxious? You act like a spoilt toddler, throwing a fit when you don’t get your way. Remember when you got upset that we were being a little noisy at 11:45 on a weekend? That you thought I’d honestly do anything other then laugh at your outrage?

Do you remember when I got a little angry in the parking lot on your first day with us? How I apologized and even bought you a gift because I felt bad? That’s called taking responsibility for your behaviours and feelings. Something you seem unable to do.  

After I finally lost my patience with you, you waited almost a week to apologize for what you said. After keeping me up while I worked a 12 day week, in my house, that you rent a room in, from me, because I was trying to help you out. I thought getting you off the coast would be good for your mental health. This is what you said to me at 1:30am in the morning;  

“Then move out, bitch.”

I will make one thing very clear to you though, do not fuck with me, ever. I don’t have red hot rage, the rage I have is cold, slow and unstoppable, it’s is calculating and it will easily destroy someone as weak as you. But you aren’t even worth it, or I’d be posting this letter to everyone you know, in every group chat, to every friend of yours I can reach. You would be defenceless, the circumstances and your actions speak for themselves.

Your apology was bullshit at best.  Ignoring me wasn’t intentional? Liar. You took the first opportunity to remove me from the group chat, you went behind Morgan’s back to do it. Your response to me was to block me on discord... If I wanted to be angry with you I would’ve kicked down your door, evicted you and taken your room for myself. Which I honestly should’ve done.

But I will be satisfied knowing that this is the peak of your life. This is how you are and once people see that you don’t care about anyone but yourself, they won’t waste their time with you. Your feelings and emotions rule you and you don’t seem capable of seeing beyond the moment.

You try to shift and place your emotional responsibility on others. Remember when I held you as you cried? You told me that I “might have saved” your life. I’m not responsible for your feelings or your life. I cannot save you, no one can save you, you have to save yourself. Even Morgan won’t hand you any of his feelings or stress because he knows that you are incapable of handling your own feelings, let alone someone else’s.

You only show concern or get upset when it might have something to do with you. You are so self absorbed that you can’t see past your own feelings and instead of thinking about those feelings, you react. Much like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I’ve met young children who are more capable of thinking about their feelings and taking responsibility for those feelings then you.

What confuses me the most is your total refusal to put in any sort of real effort to go to therapy or see a professional. Something you so desperately and obviously need. You make everything into a huge show, having the police and an ambulance to come get you for threatening suicide? You need actual help, your friends and family cannot give you the kind of help you need. You are emotionally unstable. Do you remember threatening Morgan with a knife because he was scaring you? Why do you do nothing with all this support? You have people who love and care about you but to me it looks like you do nothing but spit on them. You treat everyone around you like they should cater to your every need and complain when things aren’t exactly how you like them. You’ve made no shows of basic decency or manners to anyone other then Morgan.

It’s laughable to me when you say that you have all these problems and stress in your life. Where? The government pays your rent, Morgan looks after the house and cats for you. Your family loves and supports you. I find it hilarious that you think your problems are half the size of those around you. Let’s recount, my problems while living with you;

Morgan and I parted ways after almost four years.

My horse suffered a devastating injury, costing me thousands of dollars.

I got to sleep on the floor for four months after Morgan and I ended our relationship.

I worked 6-7 days a week at a hard labor job that most people only last a few months at.

The kind words of understanding you expressed to me were “oh, yeah, that sucks.”

While you had your own bedroom, pretty much zero financial stress, the opportunity to go wherever you want whenever you want to, no household responsibilities or chores.

To some extent you can blame your mental illness, you can hide behind it. You can play the victim. Until you look at me, someone who has anxiety, depression, an ED, and a hell of a lot less support then you. Oh, you were bullied? Yeah, me too! You think you were the only one with problems growing up? My parents put my belongings into a bonfire because they didn’t like that I wasn’t ‘normal’ enough. My mother took my clothes and gave them to my brothers because they were “too boyish”  did you know that I’ve run away from home? That my mother used to scream into my face and throw things at me if I didn’t get out of bed because I wanted to die? That’s not even the worst of the shit I had to deal with. You aren’t the center of the universe, you are not the only one with shit in their life. From the outside looking in after everything, it looks like you hide behind your depression and anxiety. Using it as an excuse to say “I can’t do anything at all about this.” It looks incredibly over dramatic. Your depression and other issues aren’t an excuse to hide behind so you can run away from growing up and looking after yourself. You don’t seem like you want to even try putting in the effort into making any change to your life so that things get better for you. That’s just insulting to watch.

You can be angry at these words, you can try to twist them, but these are the truth. Like it or not. You are in the wrong. You are in the wrong when you thought that you could hide behind Morgan, he cannot defend you because he knows I’m right. You don’t deserve a friend like him. You have him, that’s something I will never understand. But he will move on, he will fall in love with someone else and I doubt that they will want to live with you for longer then a couple of years.

Here’s the thing. I don’t hate you, I pity you actually. I will move on and I will go forward with my life. I will work hard and earn the good things that come into my life. I will deal with my feelings, I will take responsibility for my actions. You, you will stay the same, your life won’t change very much and you probably won’t accomplish that much. A few things here and there maybe, but largely people will come and go from your life and you will play the victim. Claiming that you can’t do anything to change, help yourself, or that the other person was somehow at fault and that you did nothing wrong.  You are so wrapped up in your own head that you seem entirely divorced from reality.

Do you remember telling me about your families connections to groups like the hells angels? How you said that you could make a phone call and have someone hurt? I don’t think you thought that one through. A favour from people like them will cost you a minimum of 50,000$ and you would need to be working for them already. You sound like a delusional twelve year old playing pretend. No one in their right mind would do you any kind of favour like that.

You blame others for no longer wanting to be a part of your life, without actually looking at yourself.

With you, everything is somehow either a huge deal or an unsolvable problem, you don’t even try to take the smallest steps to making any sort of change in your life. You take offence to the slightest criticism. So I won’t be surprised if you feel rage while you read this. I also don’t care, as far as I’m concerned I am right about these things. I’ve known you long enough, I have listened and observed your actions. This is the impression you give off to me.

I am not saying these things to be mean to you, this is what I genuinely think of you. I honestly hope that one day you grow up and become an adult. That you take responsibility for yourself, and your feelings and actions. But for now (and the rest of time) I’d be happy to never see you again, never waste my time thinking about you, or never talking to you ever again.  

So this will be goodbye. This will be the last message I send to you.

[211iqclub]

Days 8 9 10 and 11

November 27. It’s only been 11 days since we broke up, and I’m still feeling sad.  At the end of the day, Yane kind of sucks. S/O to all the homies who keep trying to help me see that.

I think she really doesn’t understand how addiction or mental illness works. I don’t mean to blame her for everything, but I really think that being in a relationship (with her specifically, because she was also so fking hard to work with) exacerbated my issues. I also told her this explicitly, and she apparently was incapable of being understanding of it. She also never gave me feedback on what she didn’t like. She just baits me into pretending she’s ok with everything, then leaves me instead of telling me what she wishes she could have changed. Guess it’s just more reason to always invest in yourself rather than sacrificing for relationship.

She might think that our relationship was going south recently regardless, but I think it mostly had to do with her going to UCSB. It was a tough time in our relationship, and I was already depressed about it. I felt like it was important to just take that into account, instead of chocking everything up to the relationship being bad. I used to always let my guard down around her, but ever since we started doing distance I’d feel uncomfortable sometimes. Also again, I only did certain things because of her.

Silly analogy, but let’s say I had long hair, and asked if she minded if I got a haircut. Then let’s say in this analogy I got my hair cut short, and then she left me for someone with long hair. Then it’s sort of just like “holy fuck you could have just told me you don’t like short hair.”

That’s how I saw (fuck changing see to saw here triggered me) pretty much everything in our relationship. I thought things were only the way they were because we’d talked about them and agreed on them. 

I used to think the best relationships just take a lot of work. I still think that, but now I’m realizing maybe I also need to find someone who is willing to do that work with me. 

I’m just gonna get it all out here: yane sucks. She really really sucks. She broke my heart so much. I’m going to have trust issues for the rest of my life. She didn’t even care enough to tell me in person. She didn’t care about me enough to think about her decision to break up before making it. She didn’t care about my input or our history together enough to see what I thought. She didn’t think she was obligated to try working on the relationship the right way for the last week or two either. I just don’t understand how you can pretend to care about someone so much for two years, and then pull a sudden 180 so quickly. Literally the only explanation that would give me solid closure is if I found out she was a sociopath, which is still not out of the realm of possibility for me.

She’s so self-centered. So inconsiderate. Pretty sure she only wants this attention from guys cuz her daddy issues. If you don’t want my help whatever I guess I can’t force you to take it. 

Please never take Yane back. She’s never going to change. She’s always going to give you false hope, with her “believe in everyone” routine. She’s never going to treat you how you want to be treated, or how you deserve to be treated. I’m starting to think, just like nancy said about brian, maybe Yane isn’t capable of true love either. I don’t even think she knows what true love is.

ON THAT NOTE FUCK YOU BITCH YOU KNOW WHAT TRUE LOVE IS? TRUE LOVE MEANS CARING ABOUT SOMEONE; WANTING TO DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM HAPPY; WANTING TO KEEP THEM IN YOUR LIFE; NEVER WANTING TO HURT THEM; WANTING THE BEST FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT. Her actions pretty much didn’t ever reflect any of these things. Revealed preference is so strong, idk why I listened to her words over her actions. Talk is cheap. Jarret get 1v1ed noob. I can’t believe I’m at de anza for another year because of her. I thought we were going to live our lives together.

Also I’m actually 100% sure I’ll find someone kinder and better looking than Yane. I don’t know why I feel so certain. I guess it’s funny because I must have felt like I was hardcore settling with yane, if I felt so strongly internally that I could find someone better. I woulda been happy doing it though. Oh well, time to find a nice league playing girl that’s actually worth spoiling and likes me for me. 

[gemder]

aries: taurus: gemini: cancer: leo: virgo: libra: scorpio: sagittarius: capricorn: aquarius: pisces: sun: moon: rising/asc: mars: venus: mercury: jupiter: saturn: uranus: neptune: pluto: lilith: chiron: ceres: pallas: juno: 1st house: 2nd house: 3rd house: 4th house: 5th house: 6th house: 7th house: 8th house: 9th house: 10th house: 11th house: 12th house: Lol just answer them all.

fhdaskjl sorry this took so long!! work and school have take over my life. under a readmore bc this is a lot

aries: what are you passionate about?

writing! fiction and specifically sci-fi and fantasy…. theres so many possibilities its limitless

taurus: name 3 of your favorite books.

“anatomy of a girl gang” by ashley little; “mosquitoland” by david arnold; “fangirl” by rainbow rowell

gemini: what was the last text you sent?

i wished @thegreatmcmidget a happy shared birthday!

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be?

probably scorpio? i know they have a bad rep but i find i get along rly well with most scorpios ive met!!

leo: name something you love about yourself.

im resilient as shit!! im like a damn cockroach but not gross

virgo: what’s your #1 pet peeve?

self-centeredness in all the different ways it manifests; rudeness, being inconsiderate, walking slow on a crowded street, not giving up ur seat on the bus for people who need it more

libra: describe your dream partner.

someone with a big heart and a good appreciation for memes

scorpio: do you trust easily?

depends on the context of how i know the person + the vibe i get from them!! most of the time im fairly trusting tho

sagittarius: if you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be?

not to be That White Bitch but i rly wanna do europe!! specifically france and italy

capricorn: what’s your dream job?

either a novelist, journalist, or a social worker with better pay

aquarius: do you believe in aliens?

hell yeah?? not even in like a ‘roswell happened and the government is covering it up’ kind of way but its so self-centered to think that we’re the only somewhat intelligent life that could have ever managed to develop

pisces: describe someone you love.

kindhearted and so strong, but self-reliant to a fault

sun: describe yourself in 3 words.

fairy squad mother

moon: what’s your favorite song?

it changes like every week lmao

rising/asc: how would you describe your style?

very basic and trendy, but comfort is the #1 priority

mars: are you easily angered?

it varies; the exact same situation can piss me off beyond any help on one day but not bother me the next!! it usually depends on outside factors (whether ive taken my meds/how my life is going atm/etc.) but i try to practice mindfulness and patience

venus: what’s your aesthetic?

inner-city cosmic entity

mercury: what color do you talk in?

blush pink

jupiter: what moral do you live by?

“do no harm, but take no shit”

saturn: what’s your biggest fear?

that everyone i care about sees me as the helpless annoyance i see myself as

uranus: are you rebellious?

in theory? hell yes. in practice? only when i feel relatively safe

neptune: share one of your dreams.

to be self-assured. not to the point of ignorance or dismissing others but to feel like im qualified to make the decisions being asked of me

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life?

do your best, but don’t be disappointed when life fucks over your plans. take pride in how far you got yourself before that point.

lilith: do you have any guilty pleasures?

dude im still a homestuck blog in 2017 every one of my interests is a guilty pleasure

chiron: have you ever broken a bone?

one time i broke my wrist trying to fight an older kid at a park

ceres: are you a momfriend?

lmfaooo am i ever

pallas: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

my relationship with my mom is getting better as time goes on!! theres always gonna be unresolved tension and baggage but right here and now we’re good. my dad is a whole nother story

juno: do you believe in soul mates?

maybe?? but with the idea that there are many different people who are gonna be perfect for you at any given time in your life, and none of them are meant to be The One Forever. there’s no such thing as one true love but that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who connect with you on a whole nother level who you can have a long and fulfilling relationship with

1st house: are you confident?

i like to think so!!

2nd house: if you could only keep one of your personal items, what would you choose?

ngl my phone; my entire life is on here. i mean yes it would be tough to get rid of my childhood mementos and other things of sentimental value but i’d still be able to function without them

3rd house: do you like to read?

yes!!

4th house: what does your bedroom look like?

right now its mostly boxes still!! i moved over a month ago but ive barely had any time to unpack and not all of my furniture is here still. i do have the corner above my bed set up w my tapestry and all my ticket stubs and stuff tho!!

5th house: name your favorite movie or show.

homestuck is my favourite anime 😂

6th house: do you participate in community service?

i volunteer when i have time!! this will be my 2nd year volunteering for We Day, and i want to do a Big Brothers Big Sisters mentorship over the summer. however i don’t have time to do as much as i want to :/

7th house: if you could choose, what zodiac sign would you like your dream partner to be?

idc honestly

8th house: do you believe in reincarnation?

i don’t strongly believe in it but it is the post-death theory that makes the most sense to me!!

9th house: what’s your favorite quote?

for someone who loves reading and writing so much i actually don’t know a lot of quotes

10th house: are you good at public speaking?

fuck no!!

11th house: what sign(s) is your best friend/squad?

a lot of scorpios, a lot of capricorns!! a few virgos and 2 saggitariuses

12th house: do you like to be alone?

i like being alone but i dont like being lonely; i’m someone who needs to be by myself a lot to recharge and take care of myself but since i started living on my own ive found i do have limits