#wh noir

[driftwoodmfb]

@mushroomfusion245 and I wrote a short White Hair Noir AU story Noir belongs to @desultory-novice Heehee, more Noir propaganda for @kirbyoctournament

Context: This most likely deviates from the AU somewhat. This takes place in Dream Land 3; Noir is still on his own, but this is after Adeleine/Dark Matter Painter sacrificed herself for him. This takes place instead of the Ado fight from canon kdl3

Kirby smiled as he held the last heart star he and Gooey obtained in Cloudy Park. He looked out onto the horizon, and just in the distance, he could spot Iceberg in the distance. He had the biggest grin on his face as he beckoned Gooey to take a look at the view. Gooey bounced over, holding his parasol in his tongue. Though he almost dropped it at the sight.

Once they were able to make their way down the mountains from the cloud they were on, a cold sea would stand before the two, and Dedede’s castle was just a speck in the distance.

The two weren’t able to dawdle on the view for long, however, as a large figure dropped down from above, looming over the two of them.

“Wh-Who are you?” A human boy with snow white hair and soft purple eyes stood in front of them. He cautiously approached the pair. 

“Hai!” Kirby energetically waved. “Didn’t know someone lived up here!” 

“I don’t-” He shook his head with a sigh. A rainbow sword flew into his hand and he pointed it at Kirby. “What are you doing here? Who are you?”

“I’m Kirby!” Kirby grabbed the boy’s free hand and furiously shook it. “What’s your name?”

Kirby’s enthusiasm hit a soft spot. “... Noir.” He lowered his blade. “They don’t seem to be hostile…” Noir crouched down to Gooey’s level. A small, strained smile crossed his lips. “And what is your name?” He placed his hand on Gooey’s head, only to recoil backwards. He quickly got to his feet, sword flying to his side.

“Noir?” Kirby reached his hand towards him.

“STAY BACK!” He was visibly shaking. “You- you- you-! Dark matter…”

“Wh-what?! Gooey’s not like that!” Kirby bubbly explained.

“Liar…” Noir growled. “If dark matter could be good, then Adeleine… It’s your fault (it’s my fault). Why did you have to take her? (Why did I give her that stupid brush!?)”

Gooey cowered behind his parasol; a look of shame crossing his face.

“We don’t need to fight.” Kirby mumbled. He smiled wearily while looking at Noir. “We can just tal-”

“SHUT UP!”

Kirby’s eyes went wide seeing the sword pointed directly at him. “Is that…?” Kirby stepped closer. “Noir-”

“NO! I won’t let you dark matter… monsters leave this spot alive! I won’t…” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I won’t let you kill anyone else.”

“B-But your sword!” Kirby pleaded.

A dark smog covered his sword, masking all the light and color from it, and the clouds around the three of them turned gray.

Noir didn’t hesitate; his sword flew in the air and launched at Gooey. Kirby chucked a cutter blade, intercepting the blade. Kirby glanced at Gooey, not wanting to take his eyes off his opponent for too long. “Is it too late to reason with him?”

Gooey nodded, seemingly answering Kirby’s thought. He readied his parasol.

Looks like they weren’t doing this the easy way…

Noir raised his hand out, and the sword flew through the air like a hawk, dashing and swerving past the two of them, While Gooey was able to guard another shot with his parasol, Kirby used the opening to try and throw his cutter blade at Noir, only for the sword to come in and block the shot.

Kirby rubbed his head once the blade came back to him. Once the sword was coming towards him this time, he jumped out of the way. He threw another cutter blade behind himself, letting it barrel towards Noir on the return trip.

Noir just barely dodged out of the way, only to get smacked in the back multiple times by Gooey’s parasol.

“Get off of me!” Noir yelled, kicking Gooey off of him. Gooey was knocked back, and Kirby rushed to his side, throwing another cutter blade at Noir.

The sword knocked the blade into the ground this time. Noir loomed over the two of them, the blade raised into the air, but he stopped upon seeing their helpless faces. “Adeleine…”

Gooey tried to reach out to Noir, accidentally snapping him out of it. 

Noir smacked Gooey away and grabbed his sword. “I won’t… give in.”

Kirby gazed at the sword with worry.

“Stop. Stop looking at me like that!”

Noir slashed at Kirby, but Gooey guarded him. Kirby dashed and grabbed his knocked away blade, throwing it back at Noir.

Noir knocked it back with more power than before, and Gooey smacked him across the head. “I’ve had enough of you.” He pierced the parasol and threw it to the ground.

“Gooey!” Before Kirby could react, Noir sliced at Gooey.

Kirby ran up behind Noir and hit him straight on with the cutter. 

“Ack-!” Noir stumbled, holding his arm. “Having two of you is really annoying…” 

Kirby stood in front of Gooey, on guard. “Gooey.” He whispered. “Head to Iceberg, I’ll catch up with you.”

Gooey furiously shook his head. “No! I can still help!”

While Kirby’s guard was down, Noir dashed to Kirby and hit him hard, causing Kirby’s copy ability to fall and break.

Kirby’s eyes furrowed. “I can’t hold back, or Gooey and I will…”

Noir prepared for another strike, but Kirby dodged. The impact of the sword hitting the ground formed stars that Kirby inhaled and shot back at Noir. “Ow, how?”

Gooey wrapped his tongue around the sword, trying to pry it out of Noir’s hands. Noir squirmed in an attempt to shake Gooey off, visibly avoiding touching him with his hands. Kirby reached for the sword too, but grabbed one of Noir’s gloves, pulling it off. 

Noir froze as a purple, monstrous hand was revealed. Noir’s sword took advantage of this weakness, covering him in a dark fog. Gooey jolted and pulled Kirby away from Noir. Before Kirby could question Gooey, it became clear.

Noir’s shadowy form was cloaked with a cape. A visor was hastily wrapped around his eyes which now had a glazed over look. He was still human shaped, but dark matter was forming all over his body. Shadowy blades formed and shot at Kirby and Gooey.

Gooey grabbed one of the swords while Kirby inhaled three of them to shoot back Noir. 

He didn’t even try to dodge, even when Gooey followed up, slicing him with his own manifestation. His arm raised like a marionette and grabbed Gooey. 

Gooey looked at Noir. “You’re… actually a good person. I know that.” 

“No…” Noir was barely audible. “I’m not.” He doesn’t seem conscious.

Kirby grabbed the broken parasol and whacked the sword out of Noir’s hand. He whacked the sword one more time for good measure.

The dark matter disputed, returning Noir to his original form. He slumped to his knees, tears falling as he clutched his chest. “Whatever you want to do to me, dark matter spawn… just do it. I’ve already failed at everything else in my life…”

“Noir…” Kirby peeped.

Gooey approached Noir carefully, who was gritting his teeth anticipating whatever Gooey was about to do. Gooey held his tongue high to reach Noir’s face and… lightly licked his cheek like a dog, getting the tears off of his face.

“What?”

“That’s just how he says hello.” Kirby beamed.

Noir hesitantly picked Gooey up and put him at his side. “You… really aren’t like most dark matter, are you? What even are you?”

Gooey rolled lightly in confusion. “I dunno.”

Kirby came to the other side of Noir, hugging him as best he could. “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?”

“It’s a long story, you wouldn’t want to hear it.” Noir scoffed.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Kirby told him.

Noir merely smirked at the two in response. “Thanks for that. Maybe I can tell you some other time.” He looked over towards Iceberg, at the spot where Kirby and Gooey were enjoying the view earlier. “You two should get going. I’ve wasted enough of your time.”

“You didn’t waste any time!” Kirby said. “You needed help, just like everyone else we’ve met here!”

“If that’s the case, then you did a pretty good job. I’ll see you when you get rid of dark matter once and for all, okay?”

Gooey nodded, and Kirby waved goodbye as they went their separate ways. “Alright, take care now! Don’t be a stranger!”

With a new friend behind them, Kirby and Gooey continued on their adventure.

(PS: Dess, could we post this on AO3? We will of course credit you for the AU)

[whaliiwatching]

diagnoses u with fanfic tags

yeah i caved. welcome spideysona

their universe is 1990s san francisco. by day they work as a struggling writer for the bugle, sort of following in the footsteps of (movie-adjacent) eddie brock; by night they’re spider-scrawl, fighting systemic injustice, writers’ block, and the occasional mad scientist invention. his world is less rife with supernatural evils than most, but he’s also fucking with the government and corporations and all, so it balances out

their unique thing is that they have, like, shitty meta clairvoyance in the form of inherently understanding tropes, clichés, story structure, etc. like if cinemasins/wins were a superhero. they were approached to join the society because miguel thought they’d be chill or even helpful with canon events—unfortunately scribble here is not whatsoever into following rigid plot structure for the sake of unnecessary thematic suffering, saw the plot twist a miles away, and peaced. but not before snagging a day pass so they could watch atsv in person

they never take off their mask, and no one knows their name—he says it’s because he doesn’t want to lose his identity in a sea of spider-people, leading most to theorize that san-fran-spidey is some flavor of peter parker, but who’s to say for sure? the doylist reason, which he is in fact aware of, is that i don’t know either lol

[ceragondubs]

If anyone would like to support our channel directly so that we can keep making videos, we have a ko-fi and a Patreon!

We are introducing “half dubs” on the channel which are dubs where ONLY the love interest is being voiced. These will mostly be for voice actors that are no longer in our cast because I wanted their voice lines to still be used and the project files have been sitting on my laptop collecting dust for years. At the moment I also don’t have many VAs to voice the protagonist and extras that may appear in the spin-offs so I figured this was the best option for now, and once we have a full cast these videos will be remade!

[eye-burning]

WE JOPPING!!!!

Yes! I'm still on this! To be fair I did warn it would drag on.

Cyan Includes: Nox, Felix, Slightly Off Taffy, Cerim, Florin, Brunhild, Eress, Oberon, Saella, Zett and, Chocolate Cake

[mrs-lockley]

@soft-girl-musings

'Revenge is bad' to YOU. i love when a character destroys everyone who wronged them. i love when they get to bite and maim and tear and rip and scratch and kill. Sorry ur catholic about it but i'm different

[sillinessoverloadawa]

some fun facts(and redesigns) for my ocs! (Noir and Deidamia)

First is my Cat oc, Deidamia, and the second one is Noir, the bat! Fun(?) facts about them:

-Noir and Deidamia are exes, Noir broke up with her since she couldn’t handle Damias craziness.

-Damia is willing to date multiple people, as long as they are willing to not treat her like… cat garbage.??

-Noir is trans, m to f. Her deadname, is Caleb, calling her this is the only time she will say a swear word.

-Noir is lesbian, She/They (and trans, as the previous fact says) , and Damia is Aro/Ace, and pan, She/Her.

[kmchdr]

Old doodles of Whitney x My PC (Noir). The last one is a scenario where Wh lend his hairpins bc my PC's hair is getting longer. He asked for a reward later for being "so romantic".

※ Reupload to any other platform is prohibited. No AI usage in any way. I don't allow my work to be used without my permission.

[rodolfoparras]

RODOLFOPARRAS MASTERLIST

MDNI, 18+

♚ Top Male reader ♔ Bottom Male Reader 🎲 Gender Neutral Reader ♞, verse male reader

🎲 ♚ GN but suitable for top male reader 🎲 ♔ GN but suitable for bottom male reader 🎲 ♞ GN but suitable for a verse male reader

HEADCANONS

König w/ a size kink | x ♚

CONTENT TAGS: SIZE KINK, DEGRADATION, BLOWJOBS, RIDING, KÖNIG W/ A SMALL COCK, SEX TOYS, MIRROR SEX, SDH

Sex w/ Gaz | i, ii, iii, iiii♚

CONTENT TAGS: MENTIONS OF BLOW JOBS, CUM PLAY, MENTIONS OF FACIALS, SPITPLAY, BALL GAGS, ROUGH SEX, BREATH PLAY, RIMMING, POWER DYNAMICS, MIRROR SEX, FACIALS, HOMEMADE MOVIES, BRAT!GAZ, FTM!GAZ, NIPPLE PIERCINGS, SLIGHT EXHIBITIONISM, DRUNK SEX, POSSESSIVENESS KINK, BRAT TAMING, HAND JOBS, WATERSPORTS, SENSORY DEPRAVATION, THREESOMES

DRABBLES

In which you and Keegan get up to some fun of your own while at work x| ♚

SPITBALLS

What it would be like…. Rimming w/ Gaz while he sleeps x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: SOMNOPHILIA, RIMMING

What it would be like…. rimming w/ Gaz x | 🎲

CONTENT TAGS: RIMMING

What it would be like…sex w/ Gaz while he wears nothing but…. x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: JEALOUS!GAZ

What it would be like…. free user reader w/TF141….x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: THREESOME, OVERSTIMULATION, FREE USE

What it would be like… alpha reader w/omega TF141…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: A/B/O, POSSESSIVENESS, EXHIBITIONISM

What it would be like… barrack bunny reader w/ TF141…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: OVERSTIMULATION

What it would be like…dating barrack bunny Soap…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: WRITTEN DEGRADATION, BJOBS, FOURSOMES

What it would be like… Rodolfo w/ a high sex drive… i, ii | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: OVERSTIMULATION, GUIDED MASTURBATION, USE OF TOYS, ORALSEX, COCKWARMING, SCENT KINK

What it would be like…Ghost as a dad…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: BREEDING KINK

What it would be like… baby trapping w/ Graves…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: BREEDING KINK, ATTEMPTED BABY TRAPPING

What it would be like… baby trapping w/ Gaz…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: BABY TRAPPING

What it would be like… Alex w/ a mommy kink…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: MOMMY KINK

What it would be like…secret relationship w/ Alex…x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: JEALOUSY, RIDING

SERIES

Thinking about…

Thinking about all the times you’ve made Ghost cry x | ♚

Thinking about how Alejandro is the type to tease you for your weapon of choice x | 🎲

Thinking about how Soap would never outright confess that he likes you x | 🎲

Thinking about being in a Polyamorous relationship with Ghost and Soap x | ♔ 🎲

Thinking about how sex with Soap is absolutely ridiculous (in the best way possible) x 🎲

Thinking about old Soap and new Soap x | ♚

ONE SHOTS

Remedial Work x

There seems to be a consensus among your classmates at the police academy that you and Leon don’t get along. However, they couldn’t be more wrong. | ♚

MISC

Soap Alphabet x | ♞

SPITBALLS

What it would be like… titty fucking Peter x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: TITTY FUCKING

What it would be like…… Miguel with a breeding kink x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: BREEDING KINK, BULGE KINK, LACTATION KINK

What it would be like… Miguel during spider mating season x | ♚

CONTENT TAGS: MIGUEL W/ TRAITS OF A SPIDER, INAPPROPRIATE USE OF WEBS

DRABBLES

In which you and Spot try something new….x | ♚

SERIES

Thinking about Miguel and the kinks he likes to indulge in x | ♚ 🎲

Thinking about The Spot and the kinks he likes to indulge in x | ♔ 🎲

Thinking about all the ways you can be intimate with The Spot x | 🎲 ♔

Thinking of all the ways you can be intimate with The Spot x | 🎲 ♚

Thinking about Noir and the kinks he likes to indulge in x | ♚

ONE SHOTS

Finish line x

In which Peter learns that a little bit of encouragement goes a long way | ♚

Color show x

In which Noir wants to learn about colors and you’re more than happy to help | ♚

Laundry day x

In which Peter discovers some unusual perks with laundry day | ♚

Detective’s work x

In which Noir tries to keep you off the streets and you try to keep him inside the sheets | ♚

Workload x

In which you find ways to spend time with your boyfriend Miguel even though he’s busy| ♚

One More Time x

In which both Peter and you learn that one more time doesn’t always mean one more time | ♚

Pillow Talk x

In which Peter, a married man, gets off to the thought of being with someone other than his spouse | ♚

Lights, camera, action x

In which you make it your personal mission to ruin Noir’s career by fucking him | ♚

ONE SHOTS

Nothing compares x

In which it’s your first time with Eddie | ♚

Brainrots, fic ideas, nsfw discussion about characters and hc discussions with my lovely anonies, mutuals and followers x

[miraclechatbug]

Chat Noir: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Ladybug: What did you just say-

Chat Noir: Foetons! *laughs*

Ladybug: Wh-what?

[thenaphantoms]

"We should probably get going, Paris is kinda quiet tonight."

"Yeah, or! Counterpoint!" Chat Noir's face splits into a big, cheesy grin. The kind that she hates, but actually secretly loves. "We could hang out? Just the two of us?"

She stares at him for a moment. His dazzling green eyes are so bright. He doesn't really mean it as a serious suggestion. It's like he's *looking forward* to the inevitable rejection.

A little smirk tugs at her lips. "Sure," she says.

His smile grows on a loud laugh. "One day, M'Lady, I'll--" The smile slips. "Did you just say *sure?!"*

"Yup." Her smile grows, despite herself. "Picnic at the Trocadero. Five minutes. I'll bring the food, you bring something to drink."

"Wh-bu--"

She kisses his cheek and pulls out her yoyo, swinging it high above her head.

He watches her swing away with an impossibly big smile.

[driftwoodmfb]

AH-HAHAHAH! More Noir propaganda! @kirbyoctournament Even though this is an AU version of Noir.

@desultory-novice Meta Knight takes WH-Noir under his wing, so Noir is probably part of the Meta Knights, so! I drew some bits of Noir in Meta Knight's Revenge. I think it would be funny if this was the first time he met Kirby.

↓ Higher quality, text, and details below ↓

Text: Yes, sir! That's Kirby? Master, I refuse to lose anyone else!!

"That's Kirby?" - Noir has heard Meta and Co talk about how dangerous and powerful Kirby was, so he wasn't expecting this terrifying creature to a cute little pink puffball.

"Master, I refuse to lose anyone else!!" - This line triggers at the end where the Meta Knights stay with Meta Knight to defeat Kirby instead of evacuating. Noir can't handle loosing anyone else close to him.

I really like the idea of WH-Noir and the Meta Knights interacting.

I think it would be neat if Noir and Kirby start off as enemies just like Meta and Kirby. This would add more drama of Noir having to help Kirby in Crystal Shards. He expects Kirby to hate him, but he doesn't. In fact, Kirby is stoked! Much to Noir's bewilderment.

All the Meta Knights are... well knight. (Expect Vul and Sailor) so I think Noir's knight name should be Rainbow Knight since there's already a Sword and Blade Knight. But something like Opal Knight, Monochrome Knight, referring more to his hair and name respectively, are also some good options imo

I'm on a Noir high once again. I should draw more MariPav again soon,,

[whaliiwatching]

How DO you think universe signatures work? I don't think I've seen many theories or discussions on it but I also haven't been looking for them either

HOHOOO UNIVERSE SIGNATURES. ok. as i was rewatching scenes so i could write this, my theories fucking blinked out of existence :) there is as much consistency to universe signatures as there is to the atsv timeline.

alright lets see how incoherent this gets

btw i’m not using the word ‘dimension.’ incorrect scientific terminology in an animated spider man comic movie franchise about the multiverse? couldn’t be me. i already let them keep their holograms*

itsv came out in 2018 and is reported to have taken four years to make. in 2014, we couldn’t have made atsv; the technology hadn’t been developed, because there wasn’t yet a movie to demand it. (usually when the question comes up during production, the team has to invent an answer. like animating violet’s hair in the incredibles in 2004, or water in finding nemo in 2003, or fur for sully in the monsters inc movies, or the entire animation process of 2019’s klaus, or reflections on the cars in cars—) this, combined with itsv being set entirely in miles’s own universe, means that the b team’s (noir, peni, ham) universe signatures changing between universes can be attributed to 1. less worldbuilding than atsv and 2. lack of technological ability in 2014-2018 (no diss to the og animators obviously, itsv is fucking gorgeous)

but that’s a boring doylist analysis. i wonder if we can get watsonian. atsv, which was likely produced from 2017 or so to 2023, explores four more universes, rather than sticking to miles’s. surely it’ll have more answers!

i went through the entire movie to see what changes. not gonna bore y’all with a scene to scene analysis, so i’ll summarize: the only person who substantially differs between dimensions is gwen (abstract in E-65, solid but still pastel in E-1610, slightly more painted in E-50101, abstract again in E-928 during emotional scenes). hobie’s collage changes to match the tone or color palette of the universe around him, but doesn’t take on its signature. other than that, the only effect any universe has on every character is with its light, and the only effect to overpower a universe signature is a portal.

let’s pretend that in an infinite multiverse, such a thing as a standard can be set, and that standard is Comic Style. comparing it to itsv, where peni and ham gained depth from previously 2d-esque universes, it seems as though some things don’t change—general color palette and extreme stylistic divergences from the aforementioned standard, eg when atsv peni is styled in 2d—and some change universally—like universe-specific volumetric light, eg in itsv when E-1610’s halftone-style light gives peni depth and in atsv when E-928’s holographic-style light does the same in a different way.

then portals. they distort the space around them in their style of origin: organic portals always have miles’s universe’s signature because that’s where they were born; any portal opened with an E-928 watch has miguel’s orange holographic hexagon, no matter who uses them or where they open to; portals opened with hobie’s homemade watch are always collage, though they take on the color palette of the universe they’re opened in. that means portals have to be watch-specific, prolly based on the materials’ universe of origin, but in that case, hobie’s would look a lot like miguel’s since he harvested most if not all of the parts from E-928. so it has to be specific to either the person who made it or the universe it was made in.

but neither of those make sense! the degree of separation from universe/person that apparently applies to the watches doesn’t apply to items left in other universes. E-1610’s rubik’s cube retains its color and volume in noir’s universe, but the sweater gwen leaves on miles’s bed isn’t abstract, and the shoes she nicked from E-138 aren’t scrappy. even hobie’s watch is rendered in strangely crisp 3d, brightly colored and noticeably not collage.

and of course, both universe-specific light theory and portals-overpower-all theory aren’t totally consistent. hobie’s only properly illuminated when he’s in his base colors. but maybe that’s a quirk of atsv? he doesn’t glitch like paper in the radius of a portal—renaissance vulture didn’t glitch like paper either, maybe that’s just how glitching works! maybe it’s always that tv-signal-bright blocky mess! maybe there is one concrete rule in all this!!!!!

noir’s universe (during his intro scene, at least) comprises of three solid colors: black, light gray, and white, and volume/shadow is communicated through the intensity of halftone used. in itsv and in atsv he’s always in black and white, no matter the color of the light around him. he’s also the ONLY CHARACTER who glitches differently. noir breaks down in black and white!! when the team is lit up by gwen’s portal in atsv’s final scene he’s the only one not distorting in color!!!!! what the fuck man!!!!!!!!!

there isn’t one cohesive multiversal rule for how universe signatures act and interact with different universes, much as i’d love to have one. it raises too many questions and doesn’t give quite enough evidence to study. the closest i can theorize is color/style generally sticks and lighting/spatial physics generally doesn’t, and since that’s relatively simple, i’ll use it. gwen gets her photo-booth-app watercolors and peni/pav/ham/noir get just a little more rendered.

theories i have seen floating around that i also enjoy

gwen’s universe requires people to be in tune with it, to reflect their emotions—implying that the floaty abstract art during her scene with her father is diagetic. so when she’s not in her universe, she’s not like her universe.

hobie’s universe signature necessitates that he doesn’t conform to any other style

on that note, so would ham’s, because cartoon logic defeats reality logic

hope you enjoyed!! or at least were amused by my suffering <3

*do not get me started on holograms

[mistigrisunshine]

spuffy fic rec

figured all the time i spend scouring EF and ao3 might be useful to someone!

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

Scooby Crew, Where Are You? by Twinkles [9k]

In a not comics-compliant post-series universe where spuffy have been reunited and everyone else is drifting apart, chaos drops by for a visit. Or a nefarious scheme. I guess we'll find out XD

To Apprehend Air by Quinara [19k]

Two days after LMPTM, Spike's soul is stolen. But that's OK; they can get it back, right? Simple. How hard is it to hop dimensions, anyway? Or storm a castle…

Wild and Wonderful by solstice [23k]

Dawn is nine and three quarters. She is resilient, strange and sharp as a tack. She's a credit to her big sis. But she's just been kidnapped by one of the most notorious vamps of all time - Drusilla. Things look bad. Enter Spike, her very unlikely hero. Spike's relationship with Drusilla has been on the rocks since the Acathala debacle and the morsel in the crate is her double-edged gift to him: a chance to make things right, and a chance to be really bad. Kill the girl and make it hurt. But for some reason he. just. can't. Instead, he tosses the niblet into the trunk of his Desoto and hits the road, leaving his one hundred year relationship in tatters, and grinding his reputation into the dust. Buckle your seat belts nice and tight. We're in for a bumpy ride.

World Enough, and Time by toooldforthis [23k]

“You came back wrong,” he told her, all those years ago. He was right, but it took them a very long time to realise exactly what that meant. It meant a hundred more apocalypses, a thousand battles. It meant a journey, a prophecy, a war. They’d lose one other, and find their way back, and choose, again and again. And all the while, the earth was failing. There are a lot more people than you think who are here for the long haul – like, the really long haul. This is a story about two of them.

Once You Eliminate the Impossible by yellowb [30k]

Icelandic noir. Inspector Summers of the Reykjavik police force has finally got her big chance: she’s in charge of a murder case.

sometimes enough by taxicab12 [35k]

“Tell me everything,” Willow said, not sounding particularly like she’d been asleep. “Are his friends cool?” Buffy blinked. “Some of them. There was this one British guy—” “Ooh, accents, hot.” “—who wouldn’t stop staring at my boobs,” she finished. “Ew, men, gross.” “Spike,” Buffy said with a scoff. “What kind of name is that?” Or, Buffy falls in love and in love and in love. For some reason, life keeps happening anyway

ever waiting airports (full of the love that you deserve) by womanaction [41k]

Buffy catches up with Riley's helicopter, solving one problem and introducing a host of others. How is she supposed to rebuild their crumbling relationship in the face of an angry hellgod out for blood, an emotional teenage sister who spent millennia as a glowing ball of energy, and a weirdly helpful vampire? Season 5 rewrite from "Into the Woods" on.

GTFO by Girlytek [54k]

Spike doesn’t take the extra hundred bucks to be the decoy. Ethan doesn’t hang around to gloat. With the Initiative on their tail (just a little one), and Ethan needing a good being killed, Spike and Fyarl-Giles get out of town. There’s nothing like a road trip to put your demons in perspective.

Care by Sigyn [72k]

While under her Will Be Done spell, Willow just happened to say “I don’t care about anything,” and as a result, wanders blithely off as a vengeance demon. Spike and Buffy are left to protect a threatened Xander and a blind Giles while under the effect of a powerful love charm. But all is not happy in paradise – they’re still constantly fighting, and Angel is determined to end the spell they’re under. In a desperate attempt to collect the tattered remains of all their lives, ex-watcher Wesley Windham-Pryce is called in to try and play marriage counselor between the vampire and the slayer.

The Soul Lies Down by the_moonmoth [73k]

"As a child, I used to dream of a man in black and white, spinning in the desert like a dervish, sword flashing in the moonlight as he danced with death." Dawn travels back in time to save the vampire who saved her life. It's not purely out of sentiment, though -- the fate of the world is at stake (again) and somehow Spike is at the center of events. If only he can stay on the right side of Buffy. A sequel to Angearia's "Fin Amour".

Summer’s Lease by Iamblichus [86k]

Buffy thought it would be just another night of slaying lame-ass campus vampires, but one green demon, some unexpected help from Spike, and a spurt of fluorescent blood later, she finds that her world has acquired a novel complication.

Indigo Overture by Rikki_oko [119k]

Spike's just a drummer, content to live in lead singer Angel's shadow. But when a certain blonde strolls in on Angel's arm, will Spike be content to take the backseat forever? Loosely based on the eighties song, Jesse's Girl.

[ceragondubs]

We are introducing “half dubs” on the channel which are dubs where ONLY the love interest is being voiced. These will mostly be for voice actors that are no longer in our cast because I wanted their voice lines to still be used and the project files have been sitting on my laptop collecting dust for years. At the moment I also don’t have many VAs to voice the protagonist and extras that may appear in the spin-offs so I figured this was the best option for now, and once we have a full cast these videos will be remade!

[hedgehog-moss]

Top 3 Annoying Translation Mistakes I’ve Read This Year (from least to most annoying):

Category I - lazy calques that let you feel the original text under the translation, not in a good way

(English -> French) In the French translation of Hugh Howey’s Sand (Outresable), the word “robe” at one point was mistranslated as... robe. Come on! In French that’s a dress, the English “robe” is what we call a robe de chambre. And it matters! The protagonist is knocking at his mother’s door and she opens it wearing a robe rather than clothes, which (in context) suggests that she was having sex; when you translate it as opening the door in a dress, the reader pictures her looking put together and wonders why her teenage son is feeling angrily embarrassed. Sure there will be more context clues in the rest of the paragraph, but your translation is not supposed to make it harder for the reader to form an accurate mental picture.

Category II - clunky sentences that make the text unpleasant or confusing to read

(I almost used the French translation of Julian Fellowes’ Past Imperfect as an example, but I suspect the original of being clunkily written as well. Still I gave a couple of examples of clumsy sentences at the end of my review that really should have been noticed and fixed.)

(Japanese -> French) Some sentences in the French translation of Masuji Ibuse’s 黒い雨 (Pluie noire) were so clumsy I had to re-read them several times, including the very first sentence. In English it is translated very neatly as: “For several years past, S. Shizuma had been aware of his niece Yasuko as a weight on his mind. What was worse, he had a presentiment that the weight was going to remain with him for still more years to come.”

In French we get this: “S. Shizuma avait depuis plusieurs années le cœur lourd au sujet de sa nièce Yasuko ; et pas seulement depuis plusieurs années, car il sentait bien que ce poids indicible doublerait, triplerait avec le temps.”

If the idea is that this past worry is likely to persist or worsen in the future, “et pas seulement depuis plusieurs années” is a confusing (and repetitive!) way of phrasing it. It suggests something that extends further into the past, not the future... In contrast, the Spanish translation uses the exact same “what was worse” phrasing as the English one: “Y, lo que era peor, tenía el presentimiento de que esta carga seguiría agobiándole indeciblemente aún durante muchos años.”

Another example (among many) where both the English and Spanish translations use the same simple phrasing while the French translator seems to get tangled up in her own syntax:

EN: “In the event, though, he proved to have shown more care than wisdom.”

SP: “Sea como sea, el caso es que demostró tener más prudencia que sabiduría.”

FR: “Or, ces doubles précautions avaient produit un effet en quelque sorte aussi stupide qu’elles avaient été avisées [...]” This character tried to do the wise / cautious thing and it resulted in something bad, I get it. But the English & Spanish translations are objectively neater and less syntactically muddled than “his double precautions produced an effect in some way as stupid as they had been wise.”

Category III (the worst) - mistranslations that actually influence the way the reader experiences the story or characters

(French -> English) The English translator of Valérie Perrin’s Trois (Three) seemed either confused by or not able to recognise a lot of French slang, which she translated literally. At one point the word “pisseuses”, a derogatory term for girls (yeah it comes from piss) is translated very literally as girls “who wet themselves.” It’s like if the English word “bitches” was translated as “female dogs” in another language where the term is neutral, instead of using a word with equivalent sexist connotations. The word ‘pisseuses’ here is part of a misogynistic character’s internal narration. He’s an adult man thinking of teenage girls as bitches; instead the inexplicable translation “girls who wet themselves” just leaves you baffled.

The same issue pops up again later on, when the same character thinks of an old woman as “la vieille bigote”—bigot means very religious in French, but here it’s not to be taken literally, it’s used as a generic derogatory term for an old woman. The English translation is “the pious old woman”—too literal ! It sounds almost respectful? Or at the very least neutral, when actually the male narrator is thinking of the woman as “this old hag.” Also their exchange had nothing at all to do with religion so you’re left confused as to how he came to think that she was pious.

It sounds like nitpicking but these are pretty big mistakes in that they not only make things confusing but also impact characterisation. You’re not supposed to turn a character’s negative thoughts into neutral ones. The translator does it again to a female character later on, this time with the opposite effect—making her less sympathetic. She is describing her life (married to a rich but controlling man) as “des vacances à perpétuité.” In English, her life becomes “a never-ending vacation”, thus erasing the very strong connotation of prison carried by the French phrase 'in perpetuity’. You could have found some phrasing around the idea of a “life sentence” maybe—we’re supposed to empathise with this character who consciously experiences her life as a gilded cage, and softening the phrase in the translation reduces the reader’s ability to do that by making it sound like this rich woman is just bored with her life of leisure. Sometimes even small mistranslations can end up having a significant impact on how the reader reacts to a story and its characters.

None of the above are awful translations if you take the book as a whole, but all four of these books are by best-selling authors so if they get so many poorly-translated words or sentences what hope is there for the rest...!

[ledalasombra]

The Granddaughter - Chapter 5 - The Pain of Loss

Mari: I'm home. I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have.

Mari: See you tomorrow. Goodnight.

Alfred sighed when he received the message. Marinette tried to show that everything was fine during the night, but the fact that she couldn't keep her emotions in order only showed that she was more and more on edge. He didn't want to have to leave her alone, but he knew she wouldn't want anyone after her before she felt more emotionally stable. As much as he wanted to, he would have to wait.

Grandpa Al: Don't worry about it sweetheart.

Grandpa Al: sleep well my dear.

After send a reply, he finished arranging the things that were still pending in the kitchen, going down to the cave, to check if the family still needed anything else. The older one heard some voices in addition to the sound coming from the computer. He couldn't help being surprised when he saw the video that showed what appeared to be the last meeting between Ladybug, Chat Noir and some other heroes with Hawkmoth.

Everything happened very fast. The group was fighting Hawkmoth, Mayura and some Akumas, when the butler could see Multimouse being attacked by Hawkmoth's sword. Ladybug managed to pull the sword that was hidden in the villain's staff to her, disarming him and starting to fight him, while Chat Noir runs after the heroine who was on the ground.

Alfred immediately caught his breath, freezing as he watched Multimouse die in the video in front of him.

Ladybug approached Chat Noir, putting her hand on his friend's shoulder:

“We need to go, she'll be fine once the cure is called. If we stay here, we'll lose it... Mayura has fallen and the others have defeated the Akumas, only Hawkmoth is missing."

Chat Noir placed a light kiss on the forehead of Multimouse's lifeless body, passing his trembling hands over her face.

“I will return my princess…”

For a long ten minutes, all the videos went black. The cameras were broken and were back up and running once the cure was called. Multimouse who was on the ground, sucked in air quickly, trying to breathe as she looked around frantically. She had a lost look, not understanding what was going on. A few minutes later, Chat Noir runs across the room and hugs her, helping her to get up. The recording ends right after.

---------------------

Dick was in the cave, talking with the others about the strange encounter he had with Marinette and how she and Alfred seemed to have a connection beyond what was seen. Everyone was waiting for the butler to arrive to try to clarify the whole situation.

“What is Tim doing?” Dick asked when he saw the youngest opening different files on the computer and selecting a specific video.

“Searching for information… maybe the files will give us some clue as to what happened. If she's connected to Adrien Agreste, there's a good chance she knew what was going on." Tim commented without taking his eyes off the screen.

“It's pretty obvious that she knows something about what happened. Let's wait for Alfred and ask him to explain” Damian commented, making his presence visible already in his uniform.

“We're not sure what she knows or if Alfred knows… We can't just assume the worst. Besides, if it was something Alfred didn't agree with, he would have intervened a long time ago." Dick commented, moving away a little to get the gloves and mask, while Tim opened the video. In a few minutes, Dick was able to realize that the video was indeed of the last battle, seeing Alfred enter the place.

"Shit" muttered the vigilant, noticing Alfred stop in front of the screen apprehensively. It was impossible not to notice how the older one became rigid and tense in relation to the video or how erratic his breathing became. In a few moments Dick was beside him, holding him lightly. The youngest can see a tear running down his adoptive grandfather's face. Alfred had seen videos like these before and he was never affected the way he was now. Dick noticed that Damian and Bruce were watching what was happening from afar, but that they didn't interfere. Everyone watched the video and Alfred's reaction, watching the footage come to an end and the butler put his hand to his chest as he tried to visually recover.

—----------------------

Alfred put his hand on his chest as he tried to compose himself about what he had seen. Marinette had told him that she was present at the last battle, but she didn't say details... He knew she was Multimouse and seeing her granddaughter die in the video was beyond what he could bear. He felt Dick put a hand on his shoulder and guide him to the nearest chair, seeing everyone looking at him with some concern.

“Alfred, did something happen? Everything is fine?" Dick asked, eyeing him with concern.

“I'm fine Master Dick. I just didn't expect to get here and see everything…” Alfred replied, still visibly shaken. The butler had always been in full control of everything, but at the moment he was trying to get his thoughts in order.

“Alfred, maybe you better rest…” Tim commented, handing the older man a glass of water.

 "I'm on my way, I just came to make sure you don't need anything else..." he commented seeing Bruce approaching.

"Alfred, did something happen? You were visibly shaken by the video.” Bruce commented, visibly worried. “What caused you so much stress? Do you want me to ask Leslie to come look at you and check if everything is ok?" 

Alfred took a deep breath looking into his eyes. "I'm fine Master Bruce. There's no need to call Leslie out for that. I was just a little shocked by what I saw. I didn't realize there was footage of what happened…"

"Alfred, I know this is not the time, but what does Marinette know about all this? Did she know about Agreste being Chat Noir?" Damian asked, which caused everyone in the room to look at him in silent questioning what he was doing.

Dick sighed, turning his attention back to Alfred, remembering what he heard Marinette say in the kitchen earlier ‘He thinks that because he couldn't protect me on the last day, because he saw me... he thinks that being by my side is putting me in danger.’

“I overheard part of your conversation in the kitchen, sorry about that. But why would Adrien Agreste or Chat Noir need to protect her?” Dick asked, looking the butler in the eye.

Alfred sighed heavily before replying "Because he saw her die in the last akuma"

"But according to the reports, the last akuma were in the last battle and as far as is described there were no civilians caught during the attack." Tim looked at him, pausing briefly and taking a deep breath "All the akumas created were directed to the team..." Tim commented looking at Alfred directly. He knew that magic was preventing him from making the necessary connections to understand what was going on.

Alfred sighed looking around at everyone. He pondered what to say, he couldn't say much, but he knew he would need to answer something… "What do you want to know Master Tim?" he replied after some time.

“What do you know, Alfred? She knows more than she says and played a more important role than she lets on…” Damian completed looking at the person he had the most respect for in the house “Magic is involved and as obvious as it is, we can't connect the dots….”

“Holy Shit!” they all heard Jason scream from somewhere in the cave. Calmer now, Alfred took a deep breath looking at them. "Was she Multimouse?" Jason asked looking at him in shock.

The butler was silent for a few minutes, pondering what to say. Taking another deep breath, Alfred sat back in his chair, looking Bruce in the eye. "Yes and I won't talk about it again."

“ How long did you know everything that was happening in Paris? We could have brought her here…” bruce argued

“I don't believe she would come, being directly involved. Let's just say I've known about her being involved with all of this some time.” Alfred replied. “She is stubborn and somewhat hard-headed like you Master Bruce.”

"You could have told us, we could have helped in some way" Damian commented, visibly shaken by the events, seeing the butler look him straight in the eye.

"She asked me to keep a secret. She confided the whole situation to me in a very stressful moment and made me promise that I would not interfere or comment with anyone." He stopped looking at each of them weighing what he would say "She is my only blood family and I respect her decisions, right or wrong, just as I respect everyone in this family. Talking about it with any of you would not be right with her. Now tell me, Master Damian, would it be all right if I talked about all this with her?” the butler gestured around him as he spoke. "Trust and loyalty is something we earn. I will not lose hers or each of this family by talking about other people's secrets." He ended up seeing everyone silent. He looked at each one of them, giving a slight smile. "So, if you'll excuse me, I'll go to bed and call my granddaughter to make sure she is fine before she goes to sleep." He got up and headed for the stairs, pausing and turning his attention back to his family. "I will not ask this again, please avoid any discussion of the Paris situation with her. She is recovering from everything that has happened and deserves time. And Master Dick" he turned his attention to him "I would greatly appreciate it if you could just avoid listening behind the doors again. I'm sure that wasn't the education I gave you." Alfred didn't wait for any kind of answer, leaving the place in total silence.

_______________________________________________________________

Hi everyone, thanks for the coments! Again, english is not my first language, so if something is wrong let me know!

I’m sorry if I forget to tag someone. 

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