#wet paper bag
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jestroer · 2 years ago
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Not something you’d think about usually but I REALLY love interactions between Jimmy and Cleo this season. The absolute comedy. The dynamic is RIGHT THERE.
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dyingsnail · 10 months ago
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The main character of the fanfic that i'm reading is making a really stupid decision. The fanfic is so good and I really want to finish it BUT GOD DAMN IS HE BEING A DUMBASS RN
He truly has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag
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themancorialist · 2 years ago
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Newton Street, Manchester.
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moganamog · 1 year ago
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wet paper bag
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the-joju-experience · 2 years ago
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I mean sure you *could* vote for Scott Smajor, but wouldn’t it be funnier to see Jimmy read more comments about him in an exasperated tone?
Vote Jimmy Solidarity. Recycle that wet paper bag.
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himbosandhardwear · 2 months ago
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"Look who's talking, Mr Ponytail and a Crop Top," Steve says with a smartass grin.
Eddie looks down. "Huh?"
"You," he waves toward Eddie's general vicinity, "looking like some kinda Metal Cheerleader." He noticably swipes his tongue over his bottom lip.
Okay. This is it, this is the perfect moment to tell Steve he's sending signals that he definitely doesn't understand he's sending.
"Steve," he has to clear his throat before continuing, "I need to tell you something."
He leans in, wide eyed and focused. "Yeah?"
That's not helpful. "Um. So, to guys like me... Gay," he chokes out, still hard to say aloud even though he knows Steve knows, "sometimes you say things or do things that come off as...flirty. And I know you didn't know," he rushes to explain, "but I wanted to make you aware. To not do that. You know, in case the wrong person overhears it. It's a safety concern," he finishes lamely. Safety concern! Ugh. More like 'You're breaking my heart, I can't take much more of it.'
He waits for Steve to say something but he's just blinking owlishly.
"Steve?" He prompts, concerned.
"......yeah?" He finally seems to come back to himself. His eyes drift away, over Eddie's shoulder. "So...you want me to stop flirting?"
"Yeah, just in case, you never know who-" Wait. What? "What?"
Steve still isn't looking him in the eye. "What?" He mumbles.
"Did you say..." He can't even repeat it, it sounds like putting words in his mouth, but he did say that, right?
"Yeah. Sorry. I'll stop. I didn't realize it was bad, I guess. I thought... It's stupid. Nevermind. I'm gonna, um, take off actually. I'll see ya around, maybe."
He hops off the back of the van and actually starts walking away, like they're not 6 miles from his house. That snaps Eddie out of the paralysis spell he was under, adrenaline taking over like a bump of cocaine.
"No!" He shouts, like an insane person, and then takes it one step further by jumping up and tackling Steve into the grass.
"Uggff," Steve grunts when Eddie accidentally shoulders him in the gut, but he ignores the embarrassment in favor of crawling up his body so they're eye to eye.
He gets Steve's face between two hands and smooshes it. "Were you flirting with me on purpose?" He shouts.
"Are you serious?" He mumbles, half coherent, through pursed lips. "I'm gonna jump into the quarry."
"Answer the question!" He rattles Steve's head a little bit, for good measure.
"I work for Scoops Ahoy." Steve deadpans, unamused.
Eddie is going to throw one hell of a tantrum in a second. "Steve."
He smacks Eddie's hands away from his face. Doesn't bother to move out from under Eddie, he notes absently. "Yes, dude, obviously I was flirting with you on purpose! I thought that was, like, an understood thing that was happening. Why are you surprised?"
He feels like he's losing his mind. Why are you surprised the grass is made out of taffy? Would've made more sense as a question.
"Because you're straight." The duh is implied.
Sensibly, he asks, "Why would I flirt with you if I was straight?"
Eddie becomes very aware of every inch they are pressed together. Aware of the sound of the leaves rubbing together in the wind, aware of Judas Priest still playing through his speakers. Love Bites is a hell of a track to be having this revelation to.
"You're not straight?"
"No."
"And you were flirting?"
"Yes."
"With me?"
He rolls his eyes, not an ounce of bitchiness lost to his embarrassment. "No, Eddie, with the crusty blanket on your van floor. Yes, of course with you- Mmmphh!"
They probably shouldn't be making out on the ground at Settlers Quarry in broad daylight but, honestly, the shambling corpse of Jason Carver could show up right now and Eddie would not give two shits. Steve slides a hand down the back of Eddie's pants, grabbing what little bit of ass cheek he has, and Eddie thinks, Hope you're watching from hell, you bastard. Enjoy the show.
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galaxymagitech · 11 months ago
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Jason’s allergic to asking for help from Batman, sure. Maybe he thinks Bruce won’t help without an agreement to follow his code, maybe he thinks Bruce will help and is afraid of that, but for whatever reason, he’s not going to ask Batman for help. But he’s also not incapable of realizing that he really, really needs help right now.
So he calls up his replacement and tells Tim that if he helps out with this one trafficking ring before they leave Gotham tonight, he’ll stop trying to kill him.
Well, Tim agrees of course, and he sees an opportunity. Not to increase his own likelihood of survival, but to bring Jason home. All he needs is a foothold, and Jason just offered it up on a golden platter.
The mission goes off without a hitch. Two days later, Tim shows up in the middle of Red Hood’s patrol with a flash drive of information. And Red Hood tells Tim that he better go away, because promising no lethal force doesn’t mean he can’t do any damage. Tim just shrugs. Jason doesn’t know it, but he’s already lost.
Two months later, Tim is sitting in one of Jason’s safehouses that he wasn’t supposed to know about, while Jason is making cookies and ranting about George Wickham. Suddenly, he freezes. It occurs to him how insane this is. Two months ago he wanted the Replacement dead, and now he’s making cookies after they teamed up to play a revenge prank on Bruce. “How did this even happen?” He asks Tim in horror.
Tim grabs a cookie, takes a bite menacingly and says: “You know the book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? I’m the mouse.”
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majosullivan · 2 months ago
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Lenore: [holding her gun to Will’s back] Guide us to where Duke is
Will, internally: Play dumb!
Will: Um..who’s Duke?
Will, internally: Not that dumb!
<(76/??)>
[read more]
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farmersfieldwolf · 21 days ago
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imma be real with you lamb your wife is bleeding out you need to get your shit together and go home
divergent from fic but i like both so they can coexist- i think part of it is a do very little description while writing just lots of feelings and thoughts so like a lot of thing does kind of happen they're just saying words more here cause i can't like psybeam narrative out through an image
did i forget to colour in the lamb you ask? NO- they don't see themselves as a person anymore, which does mean that i guess i kind of committed to the visual metaphor in this and need to keep it up is i keep making these little comics
anyways i have things queued for a few days and then i go back to work, we see how much art i continue doing once i am back
okaytyty, split close up below
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ditzybat · 10 months ago
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Jason prowled deeper into the tower, it was a struggle to get the speedy kid down, but after multiple tranquilizers (that could put a rhino into cardiac arrest) the kid finally managed to knock out.
He went over his monologue speech in his head, scanning his eyes over this, honest-to-god, pig-stye of a room (seriously, wasn't this supposed to be the meticulously organized Robin? Jason could barely see the floor before him). Finally, gazing out one of the large window panes, on the phone, was his target in his robin costume - sans the mask.
Tim mumbled a tired goodbye into the phone, seemingly exasperated by the phone call, he picked up on the words 'Bruce' and sneered from beneath his mask.
"You sleep in that thing or something Timmy? That's pathetic" Jason growls out from his place from the threshold of the room.
For his part, Tim spins around with a flutter of his ridiculous cape and a twitch of his muscles "Hood, I-"
Jason lurches forward, beginning his speech, counting the sequence of events like he used to in drama class.
"I was raised on the streets of Gotham." 1. Taking off his hood. "Trying to survive." 2. Tearing his clothes to reveal his homemade Robin getup, "Until Bruce took me in." 3. Cornering the brat, only a step or two away in arm's reach - good, "I trained -"
One thing Jason did not account for was Tim to make the first move and interupt his origin story speech, stabbing the side of his neck.
"Did you seriously just fucking stab me with a hello kitty knife?"
Tim has the gall to flush, "I told Cassie and Bart to stop tampering with my equipment, it's unprofessional! I bet Kon put them up to this!" he squaked, Jason reaches up and takes the knife from his neck, putting pressure onto the wound, and examining it.
"You could've hit an artery!" Tim gives a frog blink and sleepily grunts.
"Damn, which side is the artery on again? I don't really know my lefts and rights, I'm ambedixtrious."
"Do you mean dyslexic?"
"No I'm bisexual." Tim looks genuinely confused, a pout forming on his features as he squinted at nothing like he was trying to figure out an especially difficult puzzle.
Jason, with the pit madness slowly receding from his vision, starts to become a little more concerned.
"Kid, when was the last time you slept?"
"Monday."
"It's Thursday."
"Okay??..."
Jason sighs and picks up his jacket, slipping his pants over the tights and scaly shorts. "I'm going to stitch myself up, then I'm going to make you eat something - you're so itty bitty, like an 8 year old with a six pack - then you're going to take a nice long nap while I wait for B to come and I'll lecture him on the importance of keeping his Robin's alive and healthy."
Tim yawns and nods his head, sinking into his cape so he's just a bobbing head in the shadows.
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homelanderbutbig · 5 months ago
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hey!, I may ask last time but, I was wondering if homelander was giving us the puppy eyes and we said “I’m not call you a good boy after (you can put any reason) because I see all over twitter and tumblr and I was wondering if you could do it, if not, then I’ll just give homelander another frog and run away
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Homelander would do heinous shit like murder people, expecting the reader to be happy with him, but of course they'd be pissed. And then the big boy would be left pouty and sulking until they forgive him.
And under the cut there's an additional lil' doodle of Homie clinging to the reader begging to be absolved of his crimes. 🥺
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representative-democracy · 1 year ago
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gotta know one thing about the HMS Terror which its got three flavours of lieutenant: dandy, homophobic homosexual, and the saddest, wettest man you have ever had the displeasure of seeing
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mothinflamesdoodles · 9 months ago
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Crossbones The Starlight Savior and his archnemesis Koffin K
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thegaynessarchives · 1 year ago
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Hey guys I may have made something based off this (the top) image from this post from @sydneighsays
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:]
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weepingtalecowboy · 3 months ago
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Wars got tuned lol
Usually Tune never says anything to Wars during Hyrule warriors (because timeline and everything)
But what if Tune was just thinking that he can win his older bro over without telling him they once were brothers
Because Warriors managed it as well so he would figure it out too he will just be affectionate and shit (Warriors was doing the same so he obviously has to prove that he can do it better)
So when Wars met Tune
Tune was just acting like they already knew each other for years and then proceeded to wipe the floor with Cia
(he overheard time and Warriors talking about her and now that he is in on the conflict he ain't letting her into a 30 mile radius of Wars if he can beat her beforehand)
So Wars pushed him away in the beginning out of anxiety because his only other stalker was Cia and he knows how that turned out (an entire war)
That convinced tune to try harder because he ain't losing to baby time at being the best younger sibling
So Wars had to deal with Tune giving him fairy food (which made wars question how and why he has the exact same measurements of HIS own personal fairy food recipe )
Creepily hovering next to his window with his face pressed against it and awkwardly attempting at making conversation with him (Tune was busy fighting Lana for this spot lol he EARNED the right to protect his brother from her likes)
Break into Wars apartment and then raid the fridge like he lives there yet leaving when asked because he respects the other’s privacy (considering how much he breaks in he might as well be no matter how often Wars changes the locks )
And asking if he can be friends with him at every single opportunity
Wars was NOT enjoying Tune's company at all (Tune was hearth broken lol)
But because Tune was reliable and unsettlingly ready to DIE for him when necessary and loyal to an undesirable degree (like Lana but more effective)
He would just have to accept that he is friends with a lunatic who has a very bad habit of asking him if he can join him in his fucking bed (Wind wants comfort he really doesn’t realize that he sounds like an absolute maniac)
But accepting Tune is a force that can’t be stopped gives him a few advantages
For example Lana is afraid of Tune so if he stays close to the maybe serious criminal then she will stay in line
That applies to every single person in Hyrule who has a crush on him
At first he thought that Tune also has a crush on him but Tune quickly corrected him because in his words “that is fucking disgusting you are so disgusting ew,… ewwww”
So because it is not a creepy crush he really has no idea what that guy's deal is
Because what else is there that would explain why the other wants to go kill somebody for him just because
But at some point he decides that the pros of having someone crazy that asks very intrusive questions but respects decisions like NOT getting to stay at his place
Are better then the cons of having no crazy friend to scare away undesired other crazy people
So Tune forcefully got to make friendship bracelets with wars
Wars pointing at Tune : sometimes you need a crazy friend to scare away other crazy people
Tune not explaining shit to him : We are friends finally :3
Wars : how the fuck are you still in my apartment !?,”,!? I changed the locks twenty times already!
Tune : ;) friendship
During linked universe Warriors had the biggest realization of history because why the fuck was Wind so bad at keeping their relationship from the future (past..it’s complicated) a secret
He obviously was much much better at it (.. he isn’t Wind just has no sense of boundaries and doesn’t care if a random guy is offering him a scarf in his sadness so warriors is correct in his books)
Time is disappointing in every single aspect of their life but learned from his own adventures that telling those idiots that they are idiots doesn’t diminish their idiocy
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marclef · 6 months ago
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BOX.
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been wanting to draw @pizzabox-box's Boxinno for a while..... here is the delightful little creature ✨
i do not think my Fake Peppino would like them very much though.... they smell like Clone and are shaped like pizza. not a good combo.
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(but it DOES give me an excuse to try and draw a spookier Fakey 😁)
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