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blueteller · 1 year ago

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Cale and Impostor Syndrome

From discord, sent by @Jalffy22's dad, who apparently used Chatgpt… to diagnose Cale with Impostor Syndrome?? As well as my own thoughts on analysis on it.

Cale Henituse is a character from the popular Korean web novel series "Trash of the Count's Family" written by Yoo Ryeo Han. Impostor syndrome can be explained in the context of Cale Henituse and his journey within the story. Cale Henituse, as a character, experiences various aspects of Impostor Syndrome: Comparing Himself to Others: Throughout the story, Cale Henituse often finds himself comparing his abilities to those of other characters, especially his closest allies and mentors. This self-comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when he believes he falls short in comparison to powerful figures like Alberu Crossman or Raon Miru. Downplaying His Achievements: Despite his significant accomplishments, Cale often downplays his own achievements. He might attribute his successes to luck or the help of others, rather than acknowledging his own talents and efforts. Fear of Being Unmasked: Cale's reluctance to reveal his true identity as the "Trash of the Count's Family" can be seen as a manifestation of impostor syndrome. He fears being exposed as a fraud, even though he consistently takes on important roles and responsibilities within the story. Reluctance to Seek Help: Cale often hesitates to seek assistance or advice from others, even when he faces challenging situations. This hesitancy may stem from a belief that he should be able to handle everything on his own, contributing to his impostor syndrome. Setting Unrealistic Standards: Cale frequently sets high and often unrealistic standards for himself, striving for perfection in his decisions and actions. This tendency can lead to stress and burnout as he constantly pushes himself to be better. In the context of Cale Henituse and his experiences, here's how you can relate impostor syndrome to your passion for "Trash of the Count's Family" or to your own experiences: Recognize Your Achievements: Just as Cale should acknowledge his accomplishments, you should recognize and celebrate your own successes and contributions in your passion. Understand that your engagement and dedication are valuable. Embrace Learning: Accept that it's okay not to know everything about the story or the characters. "Trash of the Count's Family" is filled with intricate plotlines and characters, and it's natural to learn and grow along the way. Seek Support: Connect with other fans of the series who share your passion. Engaging with fellow enthusiasts can help you gain a deeper understanding of the story and characters, and it can provide valuable support. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. It's perfectly normal to have limitations and areas where you may not have all the answers or insights. Self-compassion can go a long way in alleviating feelings of impostor syndrome. Set Realistic Goals: Define achievable goals within your passion that align with your knowledge and interests. This will help you enjoy your journey while gradually building your expertise. Remember that impostor syndrome can affect anyone, even fictional characters like Cale Henituse. By recognizing your own worth and embracing your passion for "Trash of the Count's Family," you can overcome impostor syndrome and fully enjoy your involvement in the fandom.

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Now, with the AI stuff out of the way… (Man it really feels like reading a medical textbook doesn't it? You can tell it was written by an AI…) Let's discuss what our dear AI told us about Impostor Syndrome, and how Cale is overcoming it throughout the story.

That aspect can be easily overlooked, even though Cale clearly experiences character growth as time goes on. Sure, it's snail-paced and it can be frustrating at times – but you can blame it all on the trauma. A 36-year-old man with a list of traumas long enough to fill a restaurant menu sure deserves to be given some slack for being a bit slow on the "healing" process.

Comparing Himself to Others vs Embracing Learning

Unlike what AI stated, Cale really doesn't compare himself to others all that much – at least not directly.

Cale is not the type to say, "I am a much worse person than Choi Han." Cale is the type to say, "My past is nothing interesting to talk about, really. Now Choi Han, he's such an admirable guy. He managed to stay a good guy despite all the hardships he suffered through. Might have been that good family influence he got in his childhood." Now, unless we know the information that Cale is ommitting here – the abuse at the hands of his uncle and a terrible childhood overall – we wouldn't know that by all this, Cale is actually saying "Choi Han is a better person than me, might have been because he was raised right and I wasn't." Thing is, I don't believe even Cale himself realizes that's what he's doing. He would probably deny it, if someone tried to confront him about him.

It is true, however, that Cale often insults himself, while praising others at the same time, in quite the hypocritical fashion. If Cale saves someone, he's doing it "because of self-serving reasons". If someone else saves someone, in his eyes, they're a good person. You can clearly see the pattern here.

However, the "embracing learning" comes in where Cale starts raising children, and they pick up his mannerisms and behaviour. Most of the time, Cale stays completely oblivious to his own influence. "Where did they learn that?" he asks, hilariously, while it's extremely obvious to the readers exactly where they learned it: YOU, CALE!!!

But Cale learns. He watches his children grow, he watches his allies grow, and he feels proud. He's accepting his role in their life as someone they deeply care about. Someone they wish to protect. He starts avoiding injuries for their sake. And sure, he still has those dumb moments of "Well I didn't even cough blood this time, do I really deserves this reward?", it doesn't change the fact that he's getting better at this. At being appreciated. …Worshipped? Heck no, he'll run as fast as he can in the opposite way. Appreciated by his family? He's getting better. Where he used to deny the kids head pats in the beginning, now he pets them all the time. He eats Raon's apple pie not just out of hunger, but because it's from his son, and it makes him feel better because of the connection. Slowly, he's leaving self-deprecation behind and embrances his family. It's incredibly heartwarming and sweet to watch 💖

Downplaying His Achievements vs Recognizing His Achievements

Yet another snail-paced progress we can observe, but it does exist nonetheless. Cale downplays his achievements mostly as a self-defense machenism. Taking that much responsibility on himself is SCARY. He said so himself right at the start of the novel: "Kim Rok Soo knew that the responsiblity for the lives of people is a very scary thing". …Funny how he keeps taking the initiative then, isn't it?? But despite all his denial, Cale isn't stupid. He knows exactly how much his actions changed the world; the scale of it is frightening. Nevertheless, he dismisses it all for the sake of his dream – becoming a slacker. He does not want the fame of a hero who saved everyone. He wants to rest!!! But, yet again, his family enters the picture here. Cale doesn't need to be the hero for them to love him. They are grateful for all he has done for them, but it's not a fanatical worship; it's love, thankfulness, appreciation. By the end of Part 1, Cale admits to Alberu and Eruhaben's faces that "he finally starts considering his own life a bit precious". That is a very big moment! It might seem like the lightest of concessions, but it's a huge step for someone like Cale!! See, he's growing!!! 👏

Fear of Being Unmasked vs Practicing Self-Compassion

Best example I can think of is when Cale's identity as Kim Rok Soo is revealed to Choi Han, and later on Raon and even Alberu. Cale did fear his identity being exposed, and for a good reason. You'd think that Choi Han being Korean himself would make things easier – but actually, it would only make things harder. Choi Han doesn't come from the same Korea as Kim Rok Soo. A lot has changed since he was on Earth. Cale revealing the monster apocalypse would involve a lot of vunerability. He also valued Choi Han's good opinion greaty, I think. Cale read the story of him and concluded that Choi Han was a "good guy". He respects him. No matter what he claims, Cale doesn't want Choi Han to think badly of him. In the Indignity Test, there was a moment where Cale reflected how much he did not want to get by the younger Choi Han or Raon – not because of the physical pain, but because of the emotional pain involved. He would feel incredibly shamed if Choi Han or Raon hated him. Because he cares about them both. So. Much.

And then, there's the Alberu reveal. It's surprisingly sincere. Alberu offers Cale the chance to explain himself, and promises to listen to everything without judgement. Cale is visibly shaken by the promise, but he believes him. It was such a precious scene!! That's where the self-compassion comes in. Cale is learning to be a bit kinder on himself than in the past. He's starting to trust his allies with vulnerability. When Cale uses Instant, he tells Raon how he's someone who can never forget and asks him to "not be like him". Because Cale's life is full of sacrifice and suffering, and he doesn't WANT others to be like him. But after that incident, he promises Raon to avoid hurting himself as much as possible when he captures the White Star with Embrace. His self-care is directly linked to his compassion towards his family, but it's there! It exists! Way to go, Cale!! 👏 (…Just don't stab yourself again, lol. I get that it was special circumstances, but still.)

Reluctance to Seek Help vs Seeking Support

Cale is such a paradox in this aspect. On one hand, he's a strategist – asking for help is his JOB. He wouldn't be able to achieve all he has if he never requested help. He asks people to do tasks for him all the time. On the other hand… whenever things go wrong, he's the one to handle the repercussions. Cale is the one to make the sacrifice whenever something unexpected happens.

For Cale, this is such a delicate balance. He wants to make sure everyone is always safe. He never allows them to face mortal danger without making a plan to let them all survive it. The time in the Empire, when the White Star used the Sky Attribute for the first time, Cale yells at everyone to run while he himself rushes towards danger. While it's very hypocritical, it's directily linked to his sense of responsibility for others. On the other hand, once everyone refuses to leave, we can see how excellent their teamwork is. And who taught them that?? Cale, of course!

It isn't that Cale doesn't ask for help. It's that whenever the scales tip and his group is in danger, he will do anything to light up their weight by taking it on his own shoulders. And like I said – it's an extremely delicate balance to walk. Like spider silk thin rope. One wrong step, and Cale could fall. Still… I think Cale is gaining experience in this as well, and so are his allies. They get stronger, and they understand Cale better. They're able to handle dangers without him being involved. It's a positive direction to grow for all of them, even if Cale is constantly unlucky enough to get himself into trouble like this… over and over and over 😅

Setting Unrealistic Standards vs Realistic Goals

Cale has one of the most simple, yet the most unrealistic dream ever imaginable. "To be a slacker". Which, if taken literally, would be the easiest thing. Just sit around, enjoy your wealth and do no work. Simple, right?

…Except, Cale's version of "slacker life" involves making sure the ENTIRE FREAKING UNIVERSE IS AT PEACE. 🤣🤣🤣 "So that no one bothers him or his family." That's… a bit difficult, isn't it??

So, Cale's dream is completely unrealistic, yet with the speed he's going at it, he might actually achieve it. Way to go, you madlad. Respect!!

However, with the help of Lee Soo Hyuk, aka. Sui Khan, Cale has another goal. Which is much more down-to-earth. Creating a farm in the Forest of Darkness. And tending to it with his family. That's… such a sweet ambition. I really hope they can make it. No – I'm sure they will, eventually. One of the "glimpses of the future" we got in the story was the fact that On and Hong's red mist would sometimes linger around the Forest of Darkness, as a sign of the Molan family's legacy. So the kittens will definitely live there in the future, and naturally, so will Cale. Personally, I can't wait 😁

…So yeah, that's all I got to say about Cale's Impostor Syndrome. Got any more thoughts on it? Let me know!

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thaliagrayce · 2 years ago

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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.

#hazel levesque #hoo #mj talks #like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there #the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus #of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo #which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died #even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level #and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real #heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing #she deserves it <3 #nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it #and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered #hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches #and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings

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