#also the part about painful memories..... is maria going to show up in a game for the first time in like a million years

[d3lly1000]

I think I brought up some interesting topics! But maybe I misunderstood some of my views on some things by the way I pointed them out

The Sonic 2006 Gang forgot what happened:

Everything was recreated from scratch and resumed at the beginning when Sonic runs through the festival. The feeling Elise has is "familiar" but she doesn't remember the events! The images you showed demonstrate my point about it, it's as if the characters have Deja-Vu about past events, but they can't remember 100% of what happened. Sonic has the same thing, apparently, he tries to remember but the feeling is a "distant memory" just like Blaze, Silver and other characters! They don't remember, it was erased, but they feel something "strangely familiar." (deja-vu)

The issue of the ship:

Personally I don't like it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to like it! Again in my opinion it was built in a way that was too rushed for the development of the story. It didn't unfold naturally, there are many parts that become a bit embarrassing due to how the game ended up in the final version. And Elise being human and Sonic being a hedgehog is also a reason for me to find it strange, but that's just my point of view.

The kiss:

I always thought that even if it was another character, it would be better not to have it. Even though it was based on the fairy tale, it would be more symbolic and impactful if it was a tear from Elise causing Sonic to wake up. Bringing up the issue of her finally being able to cry, with her tears being the symbolism for rebirth!

The issue of the glitch:

There are videos on YT about this! The game was very poorly polished, so there are several glitches similar to this. I mentioned the fact that even if you choose Elise, you are forwarded to Amy's decision. As if it were supposed to be her instead of Elise. The fact that this trial ultimately doesn't change anything in the story is also very complicated, but following the 2006 direction, again: They basically wanted the player to quickly become attached to Elise, so that it would be plausible for Sonic and her to be the romantic couple.

2006 an obscure game:

Yes, but personally more for the technical flaws. Was it poorly executed and rushed? Absolutely. There's no denying it! The story has holes and errors as I mentioned, but it still has a good campaign like Shadow's. Even with the same problems mentioned, his Campaign is considered the best precisely because of the way the character was worked on and had a good ending! Silver the same, even with the problems above (and the fact that we don't understand Blaze is there). Sonic's Campaign for me is the "weakest" for the simple fact that it doesn't go as deep as the other two (and the battle against Silver is painful).

About the dynamics of both and the "Romance Arc"

Parallels in the Sonic franchise are nothing new! Just look at Sage and Metal Sonic, being parallel to Shadow and Maria. Blaze and Cream (or even Marine) being Sonic and Tails, Shadow and Sonic being parallel to each other and so on! The dynamics wouldn't need to focus on the issue of a type of love. Elise is a character who is aware of her kingdom, and she has always made it clear that they were her priority. Her love being directed at several people in a responsible way would be a mature and very interesting topic to address! As I said, just like Maria was for Shadow, I would personally find it interesting if it were the same for her and Sonic! And again, I don't hate Elise. I hope she returns to the franchise in a better way, she is a character with a lot of potential and I believe she will appear again at some point!

About the Takeovers being "Canonical"

As I said, I consider them Semi-Canon! They focus on having fun and entertaining us, but they are questions selected and thought of by the team as a whole, not one person, or two, it is the team that develops them. As I said, most of them are just for entertainment, but in this way, they are content that adds to the fandom's questions! In the screenshots I took of the managers of the official Sonic account, they themselves point out "What people are most curious about" And that's my point: They are answers to expand the franchise further. They make it semi-canon because they are more details about the characters for us fans!

I hope I answered what I found strange!! They are just my point of view on :') Thank you for understanding! 🤍

About Sonic and the others forgetting the events of Sonic '06 + The Twitter Takeovers are semi-canons

Okay, here we go... I saw some people mention this answer about Sonic forgetting Elise and being upset about it, and thankful that the Takeovers are "not canon", so I'll share my point of view on that and talk about why the Takeovers are semi-canon! (oh boy a long post-) ~~~~

To start: "But Sonic forgetting Elise is absurd! He was the one who put out the flame with Elise, they both should have known about each other." No. They shouldn't have. From the moment the flame went out, everything was reset and started at the point where Sonic was going through the festival. There was no invasion by Eggman at that moment, Elise was not kidnapped, there were no Events of 2006 EVEN though the game is canon. THIS has ALWAYS been a fact since the game's release. And it keeps gaining strength with new media (Sonic x Shadow Generations and mentions that Sonic make in external media).

And I dare even more, not even Silver should know about the events. But if he knows, it's only him and Mephiles, who was ERASED from existence and ended up in WhiteSpace, the Limbo of Sonic's Universe. (As for Silver, he constantly travels through time, he could be the only one who remembers, but I doubt it a little) But the point here is: The representation of the flame going out at the end of 06 is that everything was rewritten in a new way. Things didn't happen that way and that's it.

"But it's absurd. Sonic would never forget Elise, they liked each other!"

I know that in some way there are fans of Sonelise, but I don't think it's right to support their romance so much when it was rushed and totally done in a hurry to make us get some kind of "emotional attachment" to Elise. Elise was the one who showed the most interest in Sonic, even kissing him (geez...), while Sonic, even choosing Elise in the "Trial Of Love", sometimes the game still throws you to Amy's option in a strange glitch. Which doesn't make much sense since theoretically he "would be in love with Elise."

Elise had the potential to be an excellent character and I still believe in that! She was introduced in an obscure game (just like Silver) and we can't deny that fact. She always couldn't cry because she had sealed the Iblis Trigger in herself, she lost her father and had no mother and yet she was the governess of the kingdom of Soleanna. Have you ever thought how much she could have stood out by working on this issue of pressure that she suffers in a deeper way? Instead of Sonic's entire campaign revolving around a somewhat embarrassing romance, have you ever thought how incredible it would be if it focused on how far the line of our responsibilities goes and the fear of failing everyone? Elise could potentially even be an incredible parallel for Blaze being what she is, even if indirectly! There's the other idea of ​​Sonic and Elise being a parallel of sisterhood like Shadow is with Maria, and that's much more captivating than a romance, and I'm sure we'd get much more attached to her knowing that!

Sonic 2006 and plot holes...

Sonic's campaign is the weakest;

Elise is a character who has potential for much more than what we were given;

the time travel issue has many holes like the Blue Chaos Emerald being with Elise the whole time;

Blaze is in the game and we don't even have an explanation for it;

We're very vague about Silver and his future; So, the fact that Sonic and the others "forget" the events is something canonical since the end of the game and has always remained that way.

Now, about the Twitter Takeovers:

The Takeovers are silly and focused on humor, but that doesn't mean there aren't writers behind them!

(Social Media Manager for Sonic's official Twitter account.) This same script is thought by the entire team, since the company's characters are acting! There is a lot of work behind it, which must be recognized! In other words, the information becomes "canonical", since it covers and gives us answers about things that we don't have in the games yet. It's an expansion of the characters, the universe and the story that hasn't been told or fully explored yet, and that's fantastic! The questions are selected based on what they can probably tell us. Whether it's just about Sonic's fur or Shadow's taste for coffee, or even about the Super Transformations and the relationships between the characters. They are Semi-Canons. They are information that adds to our knowledge as fans, but they are not necessarily real, like Sonic breaking the fourth wall. As a fandom, we have to know how to separate some things! That's what makes the Sonic universe unique. Everything can be considered more clues to add to the franchise, but we need to know how to understand the reasons and whys behind it!

Conclusion

I still hope that if Sonic '06 gets a remake, they'll do a good redemption of it, because it deserves it! And who knows, maybe we'll see more of it in the future?

If you want to comment, feel free, this is an open field for that discussion. Just keep it respectful and friendly! I'd love to read and participate too!

Thank you very much for reading! Sorry for the bad English... Stay determined! 🤍

[sonknuxadow]

just saw the steam description . you now have my full attention

[emyluwinter]

In connection with the news about the schedule for February.

Most of the fandom. - LEONA!!WE WILL GET THE SSR CARD OF LEON IN HIS NATIONAL CLOTHES!!WILL WE SEE FARENA?!

I'm yelling and chirping in the background somewhere out of the way. - Are we going to see all those gorgeous amazing women?? Who is afraid of Leona and Ruggie?!Will we see the Queen and Leona's daughter-in-law, Cheka's mom?A community of Lionesses?! Will we see a Royal guard consisting of strong trained women?! Will we see traditional national costumes?! Will they tell us more about the cult ent and the history of this country?!Will they show us some local festivals or national holidays?!

Honestly, I laugh so much from my naive side of expectations, the essence of which is that … this game is filled with male characters…

But I'm passionate about how I want to see WOMEN.

BECAUSE IT'S YANA TOBOSO. SHE MAKES THEM SO THAT MY HEART MAKES BONK. and then another flip with a U-turn.

Seriously, I can't….they are so amazing. Najima? - stole a snack from Jamil. Told embarrassing facts from his childhood.

Is Epel's grandmother Maria? - in the past, an amazing sled racer.And her frisky nature is simply charming. Epel followed in his Grandmother's footsteps~

Eliza, who took out most of the student body with one blow with one hand?Caused complete chaos in one day? (she made me laugh with her actions, because I imagine Yuu watching all this and quietly whispering, "she's brave.I like her.")

The Fairy Queen at the Fairy Gala? Just 100000000/10.

forgive me my weakness.

And also….

Leona has gathered almost EVERYONE with whom he does not get along particularly. HA!!

Except Kalim. He is the sun, very rich in the heart of the bright sun. Everyone has their drawbacks. but he's still a charmer.

Just a Lilia….LILIA IN THIS EVENT WITH LEONA?! Excuse me for a moment, they were not very friendly with any interaction on my bad failed memory. Fight-fight-fight-fight.

Kheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem.

Vil-sama, I'm so glad that I can get your card. Even if she's R rank. I can already imagine how his eye is starting to twitch from Leona's behavior.

And one more question.

Yuu, my sweet darling……by what incredible miracle, you will be brought TO THE ROYAL PALACE, APPARENTLY?!

So the List of Yuu Visit the residence of the mansion of one of the richest families in the world, Al-Asim.Where simple poor students with a cat will definitely not get to just like that - done. Visit the royal palace of the Leona family without having agreed an audience through any of their ministries or officials/councils/parliaments. - done. Visit the Thorn Valley of Tsunotaro - ?????

Maybe Yuu and Grimm don't have a special status or money in their pocket…. But these two are traveling, which any student would envy. Their connections begin to grow with the scale of the spider web.

OH!! And the second part of Chapter 7 at the end of the month!!! I think according to the scenario it will be a good move or go to the preparation of subsequent actions. With details and more gaining momentum of actions. If the plot uses the three-act system so familiar to everyone. Or Toboso can just twist the story as we don't expect at all, that is, change the pace and apply a roller coaster. There seems to have been talk that the story here will somehow be told differently. From a writer's and creative point of view, I'm burning with curiosity!!!

But the most painful thing……………………………………..

WHERE DO I GET THESE F*CKING KRISSTALS.

I STILL HAVE TO SAVE UP FOR AZUL, damn IT. f*ck!!!

somebody help me…

[ultraericthered]

Anime Update V2 51

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 - Have seen the next two episodes, and I’m noticing that Yuki getting lost from Mirai and Mirai having to call out his name seems to be a once an episode trend now, as are the aftershocks and tremors causing more random destruction and casualties, and the newscaster lady giving a report after every credits that clues you in on what’s to come in the next episode. Episode 4 was particularly notable, with Mirai’s petulant stubbornness giving me serious cringe (just use the portable disposable toilet already, girl!) as well as her continuing to be a terrible big sister to Yuki, a really gutwrenching scene with her and Yuki both sobbing over missing their home and parents, and oh yeah, Tokyo Tower falling down!

Hunter x Hunter - At last, the end of Greed Island. I was glad for Gon, Killua and Biscuit that they were able to achieve the win, am going to miss Biscuit if she’s really going to be away for a while, and damn, every new thing I hear about Ging really makes him come off more like a jerk. Getting a guy’s name wrong for a more convenient game title and not retracting it ‘cause you find it funny? Major dick!

Fruits Basket - Another solid episode for Yuki’s character growth.  We found out that Machi is actually the younger half-sister of Kakeru and that she struggles with having independence. Yuki also got locked in a closet for a bit and had to conquer more painful memories of Akito’s abuse in that time. But by far the episode’s most important development is that Cinderella has been chosen as the play for the upcoming school festival, with the roles cast as such: Saki as Cinderella, Kyo as the Prince, Minami as the evil stepmother, Tohru as the evil stepsister, and Yuki as the Fairy Godmother. I. can’t. wait!

Re:ZERO - This is no doubt going to be an unpopular opinion but, aside from Subaru’s continuing character arc of mental and moral degradation, I’m not particularly liking this arc compared to the ones before it. It had such promise at the very start, but rather than maintain focus on what it started with - the different campaign camps of the Royal Selection - it’s veering in a different direction that seems intent on throwing as much bleak, miserable, mean-spirited and edgy shit at you as it can. And if it was working dramatically, I’d be more forgiving of it...but I didn’t get “drama” from this episode, I got unintentional comedy gold. The Witch’s Cult shows up and we meet a character named Betelgeuse (yes, like Beetlejuice) and not only is he just about the most Extra psychotic weirdo I’ve ever seen in anime, but how he’s set up in the plot as Subaru’s new arch enemy comes out of nowhere. He kills Rem and torments Subaru about his “sloth!” (and Rem’s sloth too since she’s gratuitously in love with Subaru but hasn’t really acted upon those feelings) sending Subaru into a mental breakdown where he’s all  “RAAAWR I’LLKILLYOU, I’LLKILLYOU, I’LLFUCKINGKILLYOU!” and even screams his name:  “BETEEEELGEUUUUUSE!” There’s just no way I could take this seriously. The actually effectively creepy part was the very end with all the snow and the outline of giant monster Puck appearing, and then the evil, furious look on Subaru after time has looped back.

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works - Once again the part of the story where Shirou, Saber, Rin, and Archer face off against Ilya and Berseker for the first time, but this time with more details that the Deen anime left out such as Rin combating Ilya directly at one point, and there was even a scene of Kirei talking to Gilgamesh. Oh yes!

Symphogear GX - Another new start with another new enemy showing itself, this one being some creepy witch girl and her doll-like underlings who are after something from someone because they want to destroy the world. It’s not really clear yet, but I just loved seeing everyone again, especially with Kirika and Shirabe hanging with the main heroines now, and Maria doing her community service.

Eureka Seven - Finally got started on this, it’s been so long since I last saw any of this series, but Dai Sato, the head writer on it, is also the head writer of the currently running Pokemon Horizons, so the timing was serendipitous. Episode 1 spends a lot of time around Renton Thurston, a whiny 14 year old boy living in a small village who bitches about how much stuff in his life “sucks” but is also the son of a famed hero and who’s voiced in a very Tom Holland-ish sort of way by Johnny Yong Bosch (ironic since Holland is the first name of his idol), and some conflict with his grouchy old grandpa. It all changes when the Nirvash Type 0 shows up, piloted by a really weird girl with green hair and purple eyes named Eureka (pronounced EHUH-REK-UH), followed by Holland Novak’s crew in Gekko State and an assault from the United Federaton Military (which includes the cruel Captain Juergans and twerpy intel officer Dominic Sorel). So much is established within these two episodes I can’t recall it all off the top of my head, but damn does Sato’s strong writing make it fun!

Gintama - This episode took Gintoki and Katsura away from any of the other main characters as they’re roped into a temporary job that requires they crossdress and pass themselves off as women under new feminine identities. Yeah, one of those episodes, and easily the weakest to come out of this show at this point, though not without enjoyable moments. The plot with the ashamed son of the bigender owner of the place trying to prove himself a man led to something I had not been anticipating, and that in turn led to a laugh-out-loud ending joke. But for a cours concluder, they could’ve picked better.

AND

Oshi No Ko - For whatever reason, this anime was allowed to lead with a goddamn movie, one that despite its length is recommended viewing for determining whether or not this series is for you. And for me, it’d be a “nope!” Not because it was bad, I actually was quite engaged in it a good deal. But for a story with a premise this batshit crazy and totally ungrounded from the reality it’s depicting on-screen, it can only work if A: it’s a comedy, and B: Ai remains in the picture, as she’s the main selling point and the character with the most intrigue to her. Well, guess what happens at the end? It suddenly goes full “deep” and dramatic and serious, and it does so by having Ai get murdered at her home in front of her children by some rando stalker who may or may not have been brought there by the kids’ unknown father. Leading to a last minute swerve where Aquamarine vows to scour the entertainment industry for their father and whoever else might’ve had a hand in AI’s death, and get revenge! Yeah no, I think I’ll pass. I can see myself maybe checking back in with this every rare once in a while, but it’s not something I could get into. 

[maboroshi-no]

Hamefura LN11 - Katarina’s post-confession talk with Geordo

Hello! 

This is not a scanlation, but as I was reading Volume 11 of the Hamefura light novel, I felt the need to translate the scenes where Katarina decides to give respectively Geordo and Keith some kind of reply in regards to their previous love confessions.

So first, Geordo’s ! Enjoy!

Context: 

Katarina had a talk with her father the previous day. He advised her to figure out her feelings sooner rather later, else she might realize one day she has already lost the one she loves.

Katarina and Maria had been summoned by the King who wanted to tell them about the succession struggle which occured when the previous king died, and how dark magic had been leaked then

Before meeting the king, Katarina had met a gorgeous blond young man at the shut-in uncle building, who told her she is a horrible person who toys with Geordo’s feelings. Katarina wonders if he might be the shut-in uncle.

After they meet the King, Geordo and Alan met up with Katarina and Maria. 

Geordo and Alan were worried Katarina and Maria might despise them after hearing about what their relatives did. They felt relieved when Katarina and Maria told them they don’t think of them differently

While they escort them to their carriage back, Geordo tells Katarina she has forgotten her bag (which contained the Dark Covenant), so the two of them returns to the parlor to retrieve it.

Katarina’s POV

Katarina: "Thank goodness my bag is here! Thank you for coming with me, Prince Geordo."

I said this after taking back my bag . Prince Geordo smiled, and

Geordo: "No, it's quite alright. I did it on purpose, so please think nothing of it."

he said. Huh? "He did it on purpose?" But what? Looking at my confused face, Geordo made a suggestive smile.

Geordo: "Actually, I realized when we left the room that you were not carrying your bag, but since I wanted to have some alone time with you, I pretended I didn't notice."

I can't believe it! What a schemer! I was taken aback and then Geordo continued. 

Geordo: "*chuckle*. I would also like to thank you once again for the words you said earlier. Since it was you, Katarina, I thought things would probably be alright even after you learn about the royal family's unsightly struggle, but hearing such gracious words really made me happy.

As he said this, his smiling face looked truly happy, which left me dumbfounded. Oh, so that's why! He just wanted to thank me once more! This is what I thought, but

Geordo: "Really, I fell in love with you all over again."

As he said this, he smoothly grabbed my back and stared directly into my eyes.

Katarina: "Eh?!!"

I involuntarily let out a weird yell but Geordo ignored my reaction and with his dazzling prince's smile,

Geordo: "My fiancée is the best! I want to hurry up and marry her!"

This is what he said. I could feel the temperature rising on my face at once. At the same time, what Father told me the other day popped into my head: "Supposing that in the future Prince Geordo really ends up being the one you love, if you keep delaying your marriage then he might break off the engagement in the meanwhile and marry another person. This is even more true since Prince Geordo has to uphold his position as a royal.", "You may lose the one you love while you are still figuring out your own feelings, so you should give it some serious thought so that it won't happen." I couldn't figure out my feelings... But I...

Katarina: "Umm, Prince Geordo, I..."

As I got flustered, I opened my mouth to say something and...

Geordo: "Are you scared?"

he said.

Katarina: "Huh?"

As I stared back at him in shock, his face didn't show his princely smile from earlier anymore, but an expression which looked somewhat painful.

Geordo: "Are you really scared when I approach you like this? I didn't notice it at first but since you shrivel more and more as I approach you, I started to think that maybe you are terrified of me. Am I wrong?"

I was lost for words as the "terrified" word stuck deeply into my heart. From my reaction,

Geordo: "Based on your reaction, I guess I was right. So you have been scared of me approaching you. I am sorry for not realizing it until now.

As he said this, he looked like he was about to cry. Looking at Geordo, this time it was the words of the young man I met earlier that crossed my mind.

Young man / Uncle Stuart?: "Even though he is begging for your love, you always ignore it, hurting him without even knowing it. You are the worst."

He is right. This can't go on like this. I readied myself and said:

Katarina: "Umm, no that's not it. Well, no, you are kinda not completely wrong... The thing is... I am not scared of you approaching me, I..."

For the first time, I expressed in words the feeling that I had buried deep inside my heart all this time.

Katarina: "I am scared of falling in love."

Geordo opened his eyes wide out of shock. Well, that's a given. Of course he would be shocked hearing such a puzzling answer. But this is the truth which has been inside me. At 8 years old, I regained the memories of my past life and soon after, I realized that I was inside an otome game and that I was the villainess in it. And also that my future was filled with doom flags. Katarina's doom was caused by her love for the prince. Seeing the prince she loved falling for another woman (the protagonist), she became jealous, engaged in cruel harassment and doomed herself. After realizing this, this is what I thought. Katarina's love led her to her doom. That's why Katarina must never fall in love. If she falls in love, she may become mad. And then this would be the end. Even while I was completely unaware of it, this feeling had always been deep inside my heart, and because I could not allow myself to be affected by love, I kept away from it. I, no, Katarina Claes can support the love of others, but she will never fall in love herself. She must not. This is how I had been doing, and then Geordo suddenly confessed to me. The prince I had been yearning for before I regained my memories confessed to me. But this feeling, "Katarina must not fall in love. She will be doomed if she falls in love.", had always been deep inside my heart and so I completely dismissed Geordo's feelings. That is why I unconsciously chased away from the corner of my mind the feelings that he had finally confessed to me. And then before I knew it, I forgot about it. I was scared of it. Falling in love, that is. And because of this, I made Geordo sad. It is just like that young man said. I am truly the worst. I must precisely tell him my feelings. I will not run away anymore. This was the first time I saw Geordo with a hurt expression like this, like he is about to cry. Looking at him I hardened my resolve. I picked the words to face the person who went to great trouble to confess his feelings to me.

Katarina: "I have always thought I might be doomed if I fall in love."

Geordo made a puzzled face, but still kept quiet and listened.

Katarina: "This is still true even now. I am scared of falling in love. That's why I couldn't face your feelings and ended up chasing them from the corner of my mind. I am really sorry."

Since I couldn't tell him about the otome game, the content of my explanation was filled with vague terms and I even thought "What is that supposed to mean?!". Even so,

 Geordo: "Thank you for telling me, Katarina. I feel relieved knowing you are not scared of me."

 he said, smiling at me gently, so I felt relieved.

 Geordo: "But the fact that you are scared of love is quite troublesome."

 He was right. "Katarina's love is a scary thing which is connected to her doom". While holding this feeling all this time, I didn't want to recognize this weak part of me and pretended I didn't see it. I did this unconsciously. That's why, even after Father asked me to seriously think about it, my fear took precedence and I delayed the task. But thanks to Geordo I have now fully realized it, so I want to change.

Katarina: "Until now, I had locked my fear in my heart and pretended I didn't see it. But I won't do this anymore. I will properly face my feelings... And then I'll do all I can so that I can face your feelings too, Prince Geordo.

As I said this, Geordo was beaming with happiness. As for me, whom he was looking at, I was now feeling embarrassed. I ended up feeling bashful and then I realized something. I declared I would properly face my own feelings, which is great and all, but then I remembered that right now, I had my doom in sight. The doom I am met with in the FL2 game. If I get doomed, I won't be able to face my feelings. Or more precisely, if things don't go well, I will just disappear from this world. Even at my best, I am the kind of person who can do only one thing at a time. Right now, I won't be able to face my fear of love upfront. 

Katarina: "Umm, Prince Geordo, even though I just said I would face my feelings, I am actually facing some serious trouble right now, and it is only after I overcome them that I will be able to seriously get down to it, so..."

Suddenly taking back my words after making him this happy made me feel terrible, but after I said this, Geordo smiled.

Geordo: "Oh, that's right, you seemed somewhat uneasy since you joined the Ministry of Magic. I don't mind. I have waited all this time already, so a little more won't make a difference. So please rely on me whenever you are in trouble, okay?" 

 Hearing him say this, I felt relieved and thanked him. He had noticed the anxiety I felt since I joined the Ministry, along with my inner feelings. I was shocked. He was a bit off regarding my deeply hidden fear of love that, myself, wasn't aware of, but he still guessed right. It seems like, more than I thought, Geordo has always been watching me. He has always been by my side since I met him at 8 years old. One way or another, he has always helped me whenever I was in trouble. Even if I am now aware that I have been connecting love to my doom, I am still scared of love and I still don't understand it really well. But looking back, Geordo definitely is someone very precious to me. That's why, even if it is embarrassing, I want to tell him my honest feelings. I mustered all the courage I could and then said:

Katarina: "Umm... I am scared of love and I still don't understand this feeling very well, but your confession made me happy. I was really happy that someone as wonderful as you would tell me he loved me."

Handsome, brilliant, kind, reliable. There is no way I would not be happy if such a dreamy man confessed to me. That's right. At that time, when Prince Geordo confessed his feelings to me, I was actually happy. But my fear of anything related to love was stronger, so I immediately locked this feeling deep inside my heart. After I somehow managed to tell him this after all this time, I got so flustered that I dashed out of the parlor, leaving Geordo behind just like that. I want to do something about both my fear of love and this strange bashfulness that I feel because of my lack of immunity to love. My face is burning hot. It must be bright red right now. I ran full speed because I felt so embarrassed, and when I joined up with Maria and Alan, they thought my face was red because I ran. I was glad they did. "Where did Geordo go?" Alan asked me with a quizzical look, "It seems like some business came up", I lied. Right now, I was so embarrassed I couldn't see their faces really well. Finally, Maria and I left the castle and returned to the Ministry of Magic. The feelings that were deep inside my heart that I realized after Geordo pointed them out. I remembered that there was one more person whom I had to convey these feelings to. But I wonder if I'll be able to do it properly. With all the embarrassment I got today, I got a fever so high I could be bedridden.

Geordo POV

I, Geordo Stuart, was summoned by my father the King, Owen Stuart. He informed me that he would tell my fiancée, Katarina Claes, and the Wielder of Light, Maria Campbell, about the royals' unsightly succession struggle which took place in this castle before I was old enough to understand, how dark magic was used and leaked then, and how he would apologize to them as a royal from that time. It wasn't long ago since I heard, got shocked and felt ashamed as a royal about the details of how dark magic was leaked. Hearing this, I also felt terrible in regards to Katarina. I have admiration for my father as a king, I respect his attitude showing resolute fairness, and as a prince, I thought that what he is doing this time too is wonderful. But as simply "Geordo Stuart", my feelings over this were complicated. This is because, upon learning about the errors and the shame of the royals who are also my relatives, I thought Katarina would maybe hold me in contempt or give me a look full of mixed feelings. I had talked a little before to Katarina about the previous king and how there had been deaths occurring during the struggle. At that time too, I was afraid she would hold me in contempt, but with her straightforward eyes, Katarina told me: "You and the previous king are different people. Even knowing about the previous king doesn't change how you are in my eyes". I was so happy then. So things should probably be fine this time too. This is what I hoped. But would she really say the same thing even after hearing about these unsightly killings among relatives? If it were me, I am not sure I would be able to look at the relatives of the people who caused this struggle without holding it against them. As I thought this, my face naturally turned stiff. The time felt horribly long while the King was talking to them. And then, finally, I heard the King leaving. Right after, I and my younger brother Alan who, like me, had been waiting in the room, headed towards the room where Katarina and Maria were. I felt tense just knocking on the door. It was the first time that I felt like this. After hearing familiar voices from the inside of the room, I opened the door. When I entered the room, Katarina and Maria had their faces close, talking about something. They didn't seem to have realized right away that it was us when we entered, so when they saw our faces,

Katarina: "Prince Geordo! Prince Alan!"

Katarina shouted with a surprised face. I told the two of them with my usual smile the words that I had prepared. And then I did what I had to as a royal: I apologized to them for dark magic being leaked as a result of the unsightly struggle of my relatives. I couldn't allow this to end with only the King apologizing. My younger twin Alan also felt the same way. As both Alan and I lowered our heads, a dignified voice replied to us.

Katarina: "I accept your apology."

All while thinking it was extremely improper in such a situation to feel charmed by Katarina's resolute look, Alan and I both expressed our gratitude. And then, as "Geordo Stuart", I asked her a question I personally needed her to answer. 

Geordo: "And so, what do you think of us?"

Alan added to my words.

Alan: "You heard the story, right? That was some horrible stuff. Do you despise us now?"

Silence fell for a moment in the room. I couldn't see Katarina's face.

Katarina: "I already said this before when you told me about your grandfather, but the two of you and the royals who took part in this struggle are different people to begin with. My opinion of the two of you cannot possibly change after hearing this story. Besides, I know each of your personalities very well." 

Her answer was the same as back then. In her eyes that were looking straight at us, I couldn't see any falsehood, nor the contempt I was so worried about. Ah, Katarina really was the woman I imagined.

Maria: "I share the same opinion as Lady Katarina. Hearing this story didn't change my opinion of the two of you."

Maria, who was next to Katarina, also said this, which made me feel relieved once again. We thanked the two of them and told them their carriage back was ready. I escorted Katarina back for the first time in a while, and during that time I noticed she had forgotten the bag she was carrying. At first, I thought of telling her and picking it up myself, but then I reconsidered after this came to mind. If things went well, I could have a chance to be alone with Katarina. And then, things did go well, and my plan to be alone with Katarina succeeded. 

Katarina: "Thank goodness my bag is here! Thank you for coming with me, Prince Geordo."

Katarina picked up her bag, and as she innocently looked back at me, I smiled and

Geordo: "No, it's quite alright. I did it on purpose, so please think nothing of it."

As I said this, she looked extremely shocked. Katarina is so pure, she could have never expected this.

Geordo: "Actually, I realized when we left the room that you were not carrying your bag, but since I wanted to have some alone time with you, I pretended I didn't notice."

As I said this, smiling, Katarina froze up with her mouth agape. This face too was cute.

Geordo: "*chuckle*. I would also like to thank you once again for the words you said earlier. Since it was you, Katarina, I thought things would probably be alright even after you learn about the royal family's unsightly struggle, but hearing such gracious words really made me happy.

After I said this, Katarina's mouth was now closed and she seemed lost in thoughts. She was probably thinking I wanted to be alone with her only because I wanted to apologize. It would be troublesome if she thought that, so I continued with this.

Geordo: "Really, I fell in love with you all over again."

As I said this, I grabbed her back and stared directly into her aqua blue eyes.

Geordo: "My fiancée is the best! I want to hurry up and marry her!"

In front of me, Katarina was now bright red. It seems like I could properly convey my intentions, so I felt relieved. However,

Katarina: "Umm, Prince Geordo, I..."

I sensed "that sign" from the now flustered Katarina, which made me sad. And then I finally asked her about the thing that I had been worried about.

Geordo: "Are you scared?"

As I asked this, Katarina yelled "Huh?!" with a shocked face. 

Geordo: "Are you really scared when I approach you like this? I didn't notice it at first, but since you shrivel more and more as I approach you, I started to think that maybe you are terrified of me. Am I wrong?"

Since I confessed my feelings to her, Katarina would often stiffen up whenever I approached her. I was happy at first since I thought it meant she was now conscious of me, but lately I have the feeling that this stiffening withering condition is a manifestation of her fear. I couldn't accept a reality where the person I love the most in the world would be scared of me, so I always pretended I didn't notice it. And today I realized this was wrong. Even after hearing about this horrible story about my relatives, Katarina didn't look at me differently and wholeheartedly accepted it, like it was natural. So I want to properly accept her feelings too. Even if doing so would be oh, so painful to me. So I finally confronted her about what I have been averting my eyes from. I'll ask her myself and get hurt. And then, looking at Katarina who was lost for words, I knew my guess wasn't off, and I felt like my heart was torn to pieces. While I thought I might shamefully end up in tears, 

Geordo: "Based on your reaction, I guess I was right. So you have been scared of me approaching you. I am sorry for not realizing it until now.

As I said this, Katarina looked like she realized something and then said this.

Katarina: "Umm, no that's not it. Well, no, you are not completely wrong... The thing is... I am not scared of you approaching me, I..."

Katarina thought a little and...

Katarina: "I am scared of falling in love."

This is what she said. I was extremely shocked by this completely unexpected answer. She is afraid of falling in love? To begin with, I have never seen Katarina being scared. She has always been cheerful and bright, and acted like there wasn't anything she was afraid of. Besides, she reads romance novels and has been enjoying them. As a result, given she is dense whenever it comes to love, I just thought she was a late bloomer like her adopted younger brother. But it seems like it wasn't all there was to it. Katarina continued with a resolute face.

Katarina: "I have always thought I might be doomed if I fall in love."

"She will be doomed if she falls in love"? What kind of thinking process could result in such a conclusion? This is just so strange. However, since Katarina is making such a serious face, I kept silent and waited for the rest of the explanation. 

Katarina: "This is still true even now. I am scared of falling in love. That's why I couldn't face your feelings and ended up chasing them from the corner of my mind. I am really sorry."

As she said this, Katarina lowered her head. Honestly, I couldn't help wondering how she could reach such a conclusion, and there were also many points which bothered me, but even so, I felt deeply relieved.

 Geordo: "Thank you for telling me, Katarina. I feel relieved knowing you are not scared of me."

I felt something akin to despair when I thought she might be scared of me, but just knowing this was not the case greatly saved me. Still,

 Geordo: "But the fact that you are scared of love is quite troublesome."

 I am glad Katarina is not terrified of me, but I can't bring myself to approach her if she is scared of love like this. Katarina is really precious to me, so I don't want to scare her needlessly. As I tried to think of ways around this, Katarina said

Katarina: "Until now, I had locked my fear in my heart and pretended I didn't see it. But I won't do this anymore. I will properly face my feelings... And then I'll do all I can so that I can face your feelings too, Prince Geordo.

These were truly joyful words. A wide smile naturally formed on my face. My unrequited love started at childhood and lasted for so long, even though the one I love is my fiancée. I kept trying to convey my feelings, but they didn't reach her, and when I finally thought they did, she would just forget them. These had been such long days. She has finally said she would face my feelings and consider them. I have never been this happy in my life. I felt like I had finally been rewarded a little for keeping with this unrequited love. As I thought this, feeling deeply moved,  Katarina shyly said this:

Katarina: "Umm, Prince Geordo, even though I just said I would face my feelings, I am actually facing some serious trouble right now, and it is only after I overcome them that I will be able to seriously get down to it, so..."

Hearing these words, I remembered how Katarina seemed different after joining the Ministry of Magic. She seemed uneasy about something. I observed the same thing when we entered the Magic Academy. I noticed a long time ago that Katarina had some kind of secret she wouldn't talk to us about. Since she wouldn't talk about it, I pretended I didn't notice and just made sure she could feel at ease and that I could always help her if something happened. This time, I was glad that she talked about it for the first time. 

Geordo: "Oh, that's right, you seemed somewhat uneasy since you joined the Ministry of Magic. I don't mind. I have waited all this time already, so a little more won't make a difference. So please rely on me whenever you are in trouble, okay?" 

As I said this, smiling, Katarina looked relieved and thanked me. I have waited all this time already. A little more really won't make a difference. I was really happy I could hear about Katarina's real thoughts. As I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest, Katarina made a somewhat grim face. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but Katarina was faster.

Katarina: "Umm... I am scared of love and I still don't understand this feeling very well, but your confession made me happy. I was really happy that someone as wonderful as you would tell me he loved me."

Katarina said this, her face bright red, and then she ran and left the parlor, her face still red. I was left all alone... I remained here, unable to move. Katarina's words kept repeating in my head over and over again. My confession of love and my approaches made her stiffen up. There were days when I thought that this late blooming girl didn't really enjoy my approaches and that she may even find them bothersome. I realized that for her, my confession was "exciting, but not really something she was happy about". But then she said: "I was really happy that someone as wonderful as you would tell me he loved me.". As I muttered to myself that I needed to confirm that the words from earlier were not a figment of my imagination, my body suddenly became hot. Right now, my face must probably be so red there could be steam coming out of it. I have always loved her. This special girl who changed my gray world. This fact never changed even while growing up, and being with her, I steadily felt so many emotions I didn't know before. Today, I realized for the first time that being overcome with extreme happiness would render me unable to move.

[damn-stark]

The Trouble ch.7

A/N- sorry it’s taken so long to post but I plan on finishing this now, so expect more frequent posts. :)

Warning- angst, talks of death, ptsd, blood, light fluff

Pairing- Jesse x fem!reader

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

——

You could still see it, as clear as day. You could still hear the sound of the gunshots, and the sound of his body thumping the ground.

That’s the only memory you could see now. The memory of Jesse's face contorted into that single painful memory of his death. Everytime you tried to recall a happy and blissful moment, he appeared with his bloody face and the wound that killed him.

As much as you tried to forget, his death haunted your dreams and your mind every waking hour. It wasn’t as bad as it was in the first couple of months after you returned home, but you still couldn’t be the same. You could never be the same. No one who went and came back with you was the same.

Sometimes...you could even see him appear to you…it was so strangely vivid, it seemed like he was actually with you. But you knew he wasn’t, he couldn’t be.

“Y/N, hey kiddo….” You look over your shoulder and notice Tommy welcomed himself inside the house.

You weren’t even aware when he walked inside, or if he even knocked. He most likely did, you just didn’t hear. Albeit sometimes out of instinct, he just walked inside the house; it happened once when Maria was home, she didn’t say anything though, he was the only one embarrassed.

“...I thought you’d be holed up in here,” he continued as he set down the tupperware filled with food.

You turn off the sink and completely turn around to face him, leaning back on the counter and shrugging nonchalantly. “I was just going to go out, you just caught me in here before I could.”

Tommy rests his hand on the counter across from you and releases an airy chuckle. “Right, with which friends may I ask? Maria says you’ve lost them all.”

Your eyes flicker away from him and you scoff as you nod slowly. “They lost me...man,” tears fill your eyes and you feign a grin, “..they...lost me.” You clear your throat and raise your head, letting out a quiet sigh and changing the mood before the tension rose. “Anyway, what’s with the surprise visit? I thought we were meeting for patrol later this week?”

“Well,” Tommy says as he shrugs and averts your gaze. “Just thought you might like the visit.”

You cross your arms over your chest and nod stiffly, smiling softly and then clicking your tongue. “Sure did. But,” you begin to say as you narrow your gaze on him, noticing he looked strange; his stiffened posture, his perplexed expression beginning to show itself on his face. It was hard to tell, he hid his true intentions well, but you saw the truth. “...you’re not here just to visit are you?”

Tommy stands up straight and drops his head to shake it without having to face you. “No,” he mutters before he moves his hand to search the pocket hidden inside his jacket, slowly scrummaging through it to pretend he was looking for something, when in reality he only had one thing, a folded up map. “I wanted to show you this.” He puts the map on the countertop and unfolds it on the surface to flatten it out and show a part of some state, he doesn’t reveal it right away, he instead just waves you over and waits for you.

However you don’t move right away, first you let your eyes scan the wrinkled paper, noticing the marks and the city names. You didn’t recognize the cities so you didn't instantly catch what his intentions were—it could be just some city he needed some supply from, some part of the state where he wanted to visit for some reason, you truly didn’t know. If you were being completely honest you didn’t want to know. Something was telling you to not press further. But you did.

After a couple seconds of hesitation you walk up beside him and take a better look at the map he was showing you.

“First of all, before I get to explaining, I want you to know that I’m not asking anything of you, you don’t owe me anything, okay?” Tommy explains as he turns his head to look at you, waiting in silence for you to assure him. “You understand that?”

“Yeah,” you nod hesitantly. “I understand...why?” You lift your eyes from the paper and meet his gaze. “What’s up?”

“Well,” he swallows thickly. “Recently this guy who’s heard my story, shared to me that while he was moving through California…..” he pauses and looks back at the map, waving his hand around as he chooses to continue. “He traded with a woman that he described was built like an ox.”

“Okay,” you nod, feeling the explanation he gave instantly matched with the women that also plagued your mind, knowing that he was referring to no one else but her.

“He said she was traveling with a kid with scars across his face.” Tommy proceeded to then shift the map around, pointing to a part of land by the ocean. “He said they were living along the coast in a beached sailboat. Right here.” Tommy says as he points to the specific location. “That’s gotta be her.”

Your eyes flicker up to him as you let silence take over for a few minutes as you tried to collect your thoughts, as you tried to process the news and what he was really asking of you.

“Is this…” you ask slowly as your eyes remain away from him. “About Joel?”

“No,” Tommy instantly answers, “not for you anyway...this is about Jesse.”

“I see,” you nod as you step back, feeling your throat begin to burn and your eyes begin to cloud with tears. “I see.”

And it’s at the sound of his name that you see him appear close to Tommy.

Jesse looked so real, so insanely real that it really seemed like he was there listening to Tommy with you. But that was the point, right? The game your mind tortured you with.

The only thing that distinguished him from actually seeming real was that he appeared to you how he was when he died; with the bullet that punctured his face, and the blood that poured from it. Otherwise you’d have a hard time actually believing he wasn’t real, otherwise you’d always be looking at his illusion your mind created, unlike how you were now, you couldn’t even fathom looking at him for more than a second before you looked away in horror.

Tommy noticed that reaction but he didn’t hold back. He was too mad to do so.

“I went to Ellie about Joel, but she let me down.”

“What?” You gasp as you snap your head up to look at him. “You went to Ellie? Why would you do that?” You demand with anger beginning to lace through your voice.

“Because she promised she’d do something about her.” Tommy remarked, making you shake your head and blink in disbelief.

“But why would you break that peace she’s trying to find? That’s why she and Dina moved.” You snap. “Why would you go to her with this?”

“That peace she’s trying to find his bullshit,” Tommy scoffs as he grabs the map and begins to fold it. “You know that.”

“That doesn’t matter!” You interject furiously, “why would you go to her?”

“Because she needs to do something about Abby, just like you do too. Are you really going to let her get away with killing jesse?” Tommy counters, instantly making you stiffen and feel your breath hitch at the sound of his comment. You wanted to talk back, but you were struck with disbelief and grief to manage to muster anything out.

All that you could show was the pain on your face, in your tear filled eyes. Tommy noticed that and hesitated, he stepped back and wanted to try and apologize, but he waited too long. Maria walked in and didn’t want an explanation, she recognized the pain on your face that she saw everyday since you returned. She, unlike Tommy, knew more of what you were struggling with and she wasn’t going to allow someone to just worsen the pain. Not even Tommy.

“What do you think you’re doing Tommy?” She demanded after she also took note of the map in his hand.

“Just came here to talk to her,” Tommy said as he hid the truth. “That’s all.”

“Well,” Maria scoffed, “then that’s enough for today. Get out.”

Said man didn’t argue, he stopped under the kitchen doorway to add one last thing to you. “Think about it y/n, you know I’m right. And then go talk to her. Do what’s right.”

You slowly look up at him and catch a brief sight of the anger burning on his face before he turns and limps out of the house, leaving you a scrambled mess and only causing you to see him again. It was brief, but you saw Jesse's dead figure under the doorway right before Maria broke you from your stupor and didn’t hesitate to embrace you, trying to comfort your withered soul. But not succeeding. Not like the times before.

——

“I’m giving you ten minutes.” Jesse informs you as he leans by the tree trunk a few feet away. “You better have your eyes closed already.”

“I’m already asleep,” you add sarcastically, “you just keep talking to me so.”

Jesse scoffs and keeps talking to you even after he gives you a time limit to take a very short nap. “We don’t have a lot of time to waste here if we want to catch up to Ellie and Dina.”

You pull the small blanket over your head and sigh. “If only we did have time. I’d love to stay here. It’s very pretty.”

You hear Jesse's feet shift and you imagine he was now looking at you over his shoulder, but you couldn’t know with your back turned his way. All the indication you had to know that he was still listening was the fact that he responded without thinking of his answer. “After we find them on our way back home, we could get “lost” and just arrive a few weeks after them.”

You open your eyes, but you don’t turn to face him, you keep yourself facing the forest you stopped in to rest and smile as you continue to play along. “They’d be worried.”

“Yeah, but we’ll go back, we’ll just be a few days, or weeks late.”

“You’re right,” you say as you turn back and close your eyes again. “And we won’t tell them that we just wanted to spend time together.”

“No,” Jesse agrees, “it’ll stay between us.”

“Sounds good,” you finish with a content sigh and a giddy smile. Jesse doesn’t answer, but you didn’t need him to know he agreed with you. You were content with the quiet comment he made a few minutes after the comfortable silence.

“Goodnight, y/n.”

——

“Goodnight...Jesse.”

You shift around in your bed and face the ceiling, wiping the tears off your cheeks and watching as the sun slowly begins to peek inside the room, slowly reflecting the soft light on the ceiling. You had gotten a few hours of sleep, but not so much, not as much as you would before. And well it seemed that Tommy’s words kept you up. You just couldn’t stop thinking of the fact that he had gone to Ellie, that he had tried to put salt over the wound.

You just couldn’t help but think of what she was doing. It had been months since you heard news of Abby, since anyone heard news of her, and it’s not like you or anyone else expected it, that part of everyone’s life was supposed to be over. That meant no chasing revenge schemes.

Yet here Tommy was, wanting people to chase after a woman he couldn’t. Knowing that he shouldn’t put such a heavy burden on anyone, knowing that you wouldn't do it, you weren’t that person….however that’s why he didn’t come to you first, that’s why he went to Ellie, because he had hoped she would.

Only you hoped she wouldn't….she went through so much, she has a happy life, a good family. Joel wouldn't want her to throw that away, not for some revenge plan that could end up with her dying this time—you hoped she knew that. You wished Tommy would realize that.

Yet...something told you she didn’t….shit—you let out a deep sigh while you sit up and swing your legs over the bed to quickly slide off. You hesitated continuing for a bit, but you needed to do this, you needed to talk to her.

No more holing up in your house, no more avoiding.

——

“This is it.” You mutter under your breath as you stop in front of the porch, looking away from the land that surrounds the house and looking at the house. “No more avoiding.” You draw out a small breath and walk up the stairs to make it to the front door, hesitating again but this time with your knuckles hovering over the door. Your eyes slide to your fist, and you’re tempted to pull it away and just walk back home since no one seemed to know you were here.

But, no. You needed to remind yourself that you were here for a reason. So you let your hand go and knock on the door and wait. And it actually didn’t take long before you spotted someone peeking out the creaked door, before they spread the door open and revealed their face.

“Y/N, hi,” Dina greets you with a very faint smile and swollen eyes. “What a surprise.” She steps forward and wraps you in a hug, seeming to use all the strength she could muster to keep you close.

“I know,” you smile as you return the embrace. “I’m sorry, it’s just been….hard,” you sigh, letting her be the first one to pull away after some minutes. “How’s JJ?”

“Good,” she assures you as she steps to the side. “Come in.”

You do so slowly to take in the nicely decorated space you’ve seen so far.

“He’s just sleeping,” Dina continues as she walks further into her house, while you come to stop in the living room and keep searching, this time for Ellie; “water? Tea?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine.” You assure her while you watch her peek her head out the kitchen. “Thanks. Uh, Dina, where’s Ellie?”

Suddenly at the sound of her name you see Dina stiffen once she’s out of the kitchen, she drops her gaze and shakes her head before she continues to walk and join you in the living room. “She’s...not here.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you take a step towards her to press for a clearer answer. “What do you mean?”

“I mean she left.”

“What?” You queried ere as you blink in disbelief, for the first few seconds not getting why. Not until it hit you. That’s when you let out a deep sigh and dropped your own gaze. “I’m guessing this had something to do with Tommy.”

“Something like that.” Dina scoffs.

You nod slowly in comprehension and clench your fists, choosing to share what happened to you too. “Yeah,” you scoff, “he came to me too. I came here to tell her not to go, to remind her that...Joel wouldn't want that for her.” You look up and see Dina was now closer to you, her eyes were watery and her frown was deeply formed. “But I’m late.”

“You know nothing would’ve changed her mind,” Dina shares as her voice quivers. “She’s stubborn.”

“Yeah,” you nod, “I know. But at least then I could’ve tried something else.”

Dina stays quiet for a moment while her eyes search your face, her own seeming to come to a realization. “Don’t do it, y/n. Don’t go after her.”

“I,” you pause and think to yourself; you didn’t even think of doing so at this ínstant, the intention didn’t cross your mind. But it was beginning to slowly break through your mind, you suppose she got that impression before you did. Now it’s the only thing you could think of.

You exhale deeply and your impulse answers for you. “My friends' problems are my problems."

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @protect-lev , @expecto-nox, @vintage-and-hypnotic , @kokomaesadie , @0j-b0, @itsyellow , @minheoly @traceylader

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

Additionally, your thoughts on Dracula and Adrian from the Netflix adaptation of Castlevania? I find Dracula really tragic, and the ending scene of Season 2 crushed me because I was not expecting Adrian to cry. He’s usually so stoic and calm that I didn’t think he would weep, I expected him to just shrug it off like heroes usually do, but no, when given time to process everything, the first thing he does is break down into tears. Sypha was right in calling him a brooding teen in an adult body.

Ohh man. If you just take a look at my writing blog (or anywhere I post my fanfiction) it’ll become pretty clear pretty quickly how I feel about them XD So far all my Castlevania fics have been about the Tepes Family. Adrian and Drac are my favorite characters in the series!! (Though I do love pretty much all the characters in it.)

YES YES YES!!

They did an incredible job making Drac sympathetic and tragic. I don’t know if you know anything about the games, and granted, they couldn’t put a lot of story stuff in the games, but (at least as far as I’m aware) in most of them it’s like “ya, he was an evil dude who did evil things because he was evil.” So it actually would have been pretty accurate to the source to make him just an unsympathetic, irredeemable villain, but they didn’t and I LOVE them for it. Playing Symphony of the Night (Alucards game) after watching the series l was almost longing for that Drac I know and love from the series, (though it’s fun to see evil Drac too).

As I’ve said, I adore redeemable villains, and they did an amazing job with him, to the point where pretty much everyone in the fandom adores him, which is extremely tough to accomplish—even if you write a redeemable villain well, often large parts of the fandom don’t see it and hate the character. I knew that the point was that they were going to defeat Drac but I have to say, especially since I originally knew nothing of the games, I was hoping they’d save him by the end.

I think the fact that he liked and was kind to Hector and Isaac was evidence that he wasn’t too far gone. I mean, the only two people he genuinely trusted and liked in his court were human…that’s so interesting, I wish it was at least talked about, either in the show or in the fandom. I think he actually liked humans, partially or especially because of Lisa, he just...was so angry, and needed someone to blame. He probably ultimately blamed himself for not being there to save her, and it was just easier to blame the humans he once hated/didn’t understand, even if in reality he didn’t hate them as much as he thought he did...

Doing more thinking and research into the show for my “If These Walls Could Talk” fic I recognize now that symbolically it made sense even within the show that he died when Lisa died (which I can explain more about if you want but id probably end up going off on a long tangent so I’ll save it)...but I still thought practically, in the show, he could have still been redeemed.

Omg I LOVED that. The longer I take to sit with it, the more I realize just how much I loved that they put him crying instead of shaking it off.

It’s very interesting that Drac and Alucard are more openly emotional characters. I might be totally wrong, but as far as I remember, they (...and Lisa when she dies, and probably Isaac in a flashback), are the only main characters we see openly cry. It’s a pretty bold move to make any of your characters emotional like that, but especially your villain, and your bold handsome hero. It’s sooo easy to get emotional characters and emotions wrong…or just offputting to some people...but more on that later.

I think Adrian and Drac are both rather sentimental, in an odd way. Much of Drac’s motivations in the show and even in the games (the times his motivations are explained) had to do with his wives (yes he was married before Lisa in the games...unless Lament of Innocence was retconned...) which is interesting. So many of his decisions are based on emotion. He lets Lisa in just because he likes her, he goes to war with the world because of Lisa, he sits in his study mourning her loss, he let’s Alucard kill him… I also notice very often he digs his nails into his palms until they bleed, presumably because if he didn’t he’d hurt someone else (in the scene where he hurts Alucard, he does this). His sentimentality doesn’t diminish is power as a villain, which is SO difficult to accomplish.

 I am emotional myself so I absolutely love to see emotional characters, but for most people, seeing even a normal character be emotional diminishes them in their eyes, or makes them whiny, so making your villain even a little emotional, and having that not take away from the audiences perception of their power as a villain is sooooooo hard to do, and I applaud them for making a so well-beloved, and still villainous and intimidating, but also emotional (at times) villain.

For Alucard. I don’t see any problem with him being emotional, but it makes even more sense if he’s a teen in an adult’s body—which was indeed portrayed quite well.

Yes that was interesting when he cried when drawing his parents!! I wasn’t expecting that when I saw him drawing them. I was enjoying and intrigued by his story so much, then when he started crying I was caught off guard—but in a good way. It really made me feel for him, and understand that he was still grieving his mother, and that knew the gravity of what he was currently doing.

I think it’s kind of important to show that kind of thing in a situation like this. It’s easy to think Alucard hates his dad, and they need to show the emotion of the situation to make it clear “no he doesn’t hate his dad, this actually breaks his heart, he just knows he has to do this.”

I loved when he was telling Trevor and Sypha about how much the world would lose by killing Dracula. It’s really interesting that he hides his emotion with them, and that Trevor and Sypha are so stoic. The son of Dracula isn’t the guy you expect to be the only hero who cries.

In “For Love” when Trevor’s like “Don’t get weepy about it” I was sitting there, sobbing, like “No, please get weepy about it! Let the boy cry for goodness sake!! Give me some emotion!!” But I too was not expecting him to cry like he did, and in grieving the death of his parents...

I knew the crying scene was coming because I’d seen pictures of it on here and pinterest, but I had no context for it. In the end it wasn’t just the weeping itself that made the scene so impactful, it was everything surrounding it. I didn’t know it would happen when he was completely alone (and would be for the foreseeable future), and in grieving his parents, or about the ghosts/flashbacks before it (cementing his grief), or that it was literally the last scene of the season, or that there would be no music for both the scene and the credits thereafter.

And that was what really got me.

Because, firstly, we never got to see any flashbacks to his childhood, and that was what I was begging for the entire series (and hence why its what I write about). To finally get it, and it not to just be something the audience gets to see, but something Alucard himself is seeing... a happy memory he’s seeing when he knows that is completely gone, he cannot hope to have it again, and for him to now be in his father’s place…that’s heartbreaking. Like just having your character cry—let alone those kinds of full-on sobs—is painful enough, showing a son grieving his parents is a particularly heart wrenching kind of sadness, but showing that he is haunted by memories of those parents he lost—not only lost but one of which he killed, and, if SOTN is canon for the show, the other of which he could have saved—of a happy childhood, and he is alone with these memories for the foreseeable future...that is truly heart wrenching.

Also the scene with Trevor and Sypha in the wagon earlier in the episode was super sweet, they could have easily put the Adrian crying scene earlier, and had the Trevor and Sypha scene be the last scene of the season (and Trevor’s game actually does end with them looking into the sunset, so ending with the last scene of “For Love” would be accurate as well), and left it on a positive note, and the audience would have been left with a completeness. But they made a conscious choice put his crying scene last, and it was so powerful, because it made you remember that at the end of the day, he isn’t just our bold handsome hero, he was a son who lost both his parents, and that, to him, this isn’t really a triumph, but a loss. It also kinda confirmed that Drac wasn’t an "evil guy, end of story". That there was reason to grieve him, and to show his son grieving, and to leave it there because of it. It was a personal gravity too

In the end, it was the lack of music in the scene, and even more so during the credits, so theres only his tears, and all you are left with in the end is this amplified emptiness that really did me in. I think I literally sat there, tear tracks on my face, my mouth open when I hit the credits.

Playing Symphony of the Night after watching the show is really interesting in exploring his character. I knew there was very little story, so I wasn’t expecting much from the story, but I actually found that I was beyond excited whenever there actually was some story, and the few lines they did say are stuck with me.

Maria comments early on that Alucard’s not very good at talking. At first I just chalked it up to...weird translations or whatever. But the more I played the game and the more I thought about him in the show...I think she’s right. He’s not very good at talking, yet if and when he does talk he’s quite eloquent, and precise with his words. (This actually makes him a somewhat difficult character to write). I wonder if perhaps this has some connection to his emotionalness. He’s very careful with what he says, and this may spread to what he does—such as being careful when he shows emotion. I’m curious why he’s like this. It could just be his nature, but I wonder if as a kid he was ever hated because he was a vampire—maybe people made fun of him, and he cried, and they made more fun of him because of it—and he learned both to hide his emotions, and that he had to be very deliberate and show people he didn’t mean any ill will with his words. (And he looks older than he is so people might call him immature for acting his mental age). All very speculative, of course. But it’d be fun to write about!

Also, another thing from SOTN that is related to this topic, there was a fight that really struck me (enough I actually wrote a fic about it (inverted recurrence)). SOTN takes plays 300 years after the events of The Netflix Series (aka Dracula’s Curse). Most of the bosses don’t seem to have a lot of meaning story-wise, they’re just there for you to fight. The other day I (Alucard) walked into a boss room...and there were Trevor, Sypha, and Grant (who was omitted from the Netflix series). They were fake versions of them, of course. And there’s no dialogue in the fight so maybe I’m just speculating, but what struck me was that the fact that Dracula could use them against him probably means he still cares about them, even after 300 years. It probably also means that they’re some of the only friends he’s ever had. Granted, he was asleep for a good chunk of those 300 years, still. It goes back to that sentimental-ness I was talking about earlier.

I few years ago I watched the Gravity Falls commentaries, and from them I got a lot of the writing advice I still think about and use today. Alex Hirsch said something on this subject which I really liked which is “Hold your tears.” When a character cries they’ve broken, that’s as far as they can go. So if you make a character cry when the audience themselves doesn’t feel the weight of the scene, or it doesn’t feel like the character has broken yet, it can feel like too...much/cheesy, and distance the audience. especially with cartoons where the way it’s drawn can actually affect your sympathy for the character (it can look weird or accentuated).

They did such an awesome job with this by literally holding his tears until the very end. I don’t know how other, non-emotional people felt about it, but Ive don’t know if I’ve ever seen tears used so well in a show, pack such a punch. To have it not just be a part of the scene but literally the focus, and at the end...it was powerful.

Sorry for the long response, and more importantly, I’m beyond sorry for taking so so SOOO long to respond. I hope you enjoy my response, if you see it <3

P.S. For anyone else who made it all the way to the end, I actually have a Castlevania sideblog now: @symphonyofthewrite !! I’d be beyond happy to recieve asks like this over there, if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts!!

[darylandbethfanforever9]

Devil’s Backbone

Devil’s Backbone

Chapter 7 

Story Rating: Explicit, 18+

Warnings: Smut, violence, past flashbacks of sexual assault, and descriptions of torture. Racial hate, and forced abortion. Not Tony Stark friendly.

Relationships: Bucky/OC, Steve/Natasha, Billy/Wanda/Grant, past Clint/Laura, and Sam/Sharon. Eventual Clint/Yelena, and rank/Karen.

Summary: In the aftermath of the Blip, Bucky struggled to find his place among the world and the Avengers. However, when he is sent on a mission to Madripoor to investigate a young woman, he starts to realize that maybe his past isn’t too far behind him. Co-Written with WalkingPotterGirl14.

Natasha wanted things to go back to how they were with Steve before the Accords and before her miscarriage. There was a part of her that felt like she was betraying Alexei, Melina, and Yelena by loving Steve, but the other side wanted to retire from the spy life. Wanted to retire from everything. She was tired of the jobs, of keeping secrets from the people she considered family. She didn't even hate Bucky or resent him anymore, unlike Alexei, Yelena, and Melina. She just wanted Steve and the rest of this to go away. She wanted life to feel remotely normal again. She didn't want to lie anymore to any of them. Everyone had been lied too so much. She was only added onto the drama. Natasha ran herself a bath, pouring in her jasmine scented bubble bath, mixing it with the water. She sighed tiredly, trying to settle into the water, when she felt her phone vibrate. As she looked at it, she saw it was a text message from Melina. 'I need to talk to you, Alexei and Yelena tomorrow in Zagreb, Croatia urgently. It's about her!' The text message said cryptically. Natasha felt a sense of dread wash over her at the text. 'I'll need to make an excuse to Steve, Tony, and the others first,' she texted quickly. Melina replied four minutes later. 'We are your family, Natalia, not them!' Melina had messaged back furiously. Natasha closed her in frustration, breaking down in tears at her dilemma.

"Whoever hired that team to assassinate the mystery girl really wants her dead. Tell Barnes and Carter to get a blood sample from her so we can test it for DNA. Maybe she's in the international database," Fury recommended sternly. Everyone nodded but Tony shook his head. "We need to send someone else to watch over Barnes, Fury. I personally believe that he's compromised. His judgement is skewed because he's convinced that this girl might be the dead girl from the files. Who knows what he might have done with her if she was in the Red Room," Tony insisted harshly, causing most of the people to look at him in disapproval. "We can't send Belova or Romanoff? They've been sent on a mission in Zagreb, Croatia to track down a few remaining Flag Smashers. Who else can we send?" Grant asked quietly, his face bruised from his fight with a Flag Smasher during a mission in London, Great Britain. "Send in Steve. He's become really good at working undercover and Bucky trusts him," Sam suggested diplomatically. It couldn't be him, seeing as the Smiling Tiger was in Madripoor. Ross had an expression of disdain, while Tony was cold but grudgingly agreed to the arrangement. "Try not to mess up, Capsicle," Tony said coldly, before walking out of the conference room. Steve sighs a bit before nodding. "I can do that. I'm sure Bucky hasn't gotten super far. I could help him out together."

Morgan Stark was determined to make her daddy happy. He'd been sad ever since Captain America's best friend, Bucky Barnes, had been pardoned by the government and found not guilty at his trial. Her dad had gone into a rage, shouting that Barnes was a monster and anyone on Steve's side was to blame for Thanos winning. So she was going to somehow make him smile again. She was going to build an AI, like he did. She already had a name picked out for him as well. Her dad had explained to her that he had created Ultron to protect the world. Maybe she could do that again, and somehow bring him back to make not only her daddy happy but the world happy. All she knew was that she was tired of hearing him fighting all the time with the Avengers and she wanted to somehow change that. Maybe a new Ultron could do that? She had found his memory core not that long ago. Maybe if she followed his blueprints from years ago…she could, do it? She didn't want any more arguing or yelling…all she wanted was for this to end. So that was that. She was going to do it. One way or another. Daddy had a lab always near him. It would be the perfect time to do it. Maybe they could finally figure out how to end all the fighting. Maybe she'll be the cause of it. Daddy would be happy. They would see they were wrong about him. Somehow.

When Steve had arrived in Madripoor, it looked the same as it always had from before, with bright lights and big neon signs drawing in anyone from a mile away. However, his eyes were more focused on trying to get to Bucky's place. He had talked with Sharon about where to go and she had directed him willingly, leading him towards midtown where a lot of the higher ups in the crime world lived. It was also where the mystery woman lived, apparently. Hopefully they would be able to get through to this quickly. He had knocked on the door, and for a moment there was silence. He had been expecting that, considering Bucky was most certainly not expecting anyone to come by and greet him. But he slowly opened the door, and when he saw it was Steve his eyes widened.

"Where the hell did you come from?" He asks as he lets him in, giving him an embrace. When Steve stepped back, he closes the door behind him, turning to Bucky. "Lot has happened at the base while you were gone," Steve states with a raised brow. "I'm not longer in charge of the Avengers. Ross gave it to Tony." Bucky's brow raises. "You're serious?" "He did. They were upset about our choice in operation of sending you here." Bucky lets out a long sigh, going to sit on the couch at that. "We defended you the best we could, but at the end of the day, they had the last call. Sam suggested I come over here to fill out their needs." Bucky's brow raises once more. "Which are?" "Keep an eye on you." Bucky feels himself groan before standing. "How the hell am I ever going to be an Avenger in their eyes?" He asks, his voice rising a bit in anger. "Everything I do now, even after all the amends and everything I've done, it'll never work…all I want is to prove myself. I know I'm a piece of shit but…I'm fucking trying." "I know you are, Buck," Steve says gently, letting his hands rest on the man's shoulders. "I know you are. And trust me, we all see it. There are some that are just stuck in their ways that I don't believe are going to change soon. Those are the ones that, when they do inevitably open their eyes, they'll see the most change in you." Bucky snorts a bit. "That one of your little political speeches?" he asks. "No," Steve answers, shaking his head. "Trust me, I highly doubt I'm going to be doing much more than you are here. If anything, while I know how to stay undercover, if I get recognized here, it's game over." He gestures to you. "At least with you, not a lot of people know your face. Even this girl doesn't." He glances over at Bucky's hands and notices there seemed to be dried blood on it. "Speaking of that…" Bucky glances down at his hand and feels his cheeks turn red. "It's not on me, I swear – Maria wanted to interrogate the men that came, and she ended up killing them. Turns out they were sent by a woman named Melina Vostokoff. She wants to end the woman for some reason." "Well, we knew about the attack but your…hands?" Bucky sighs a bit. "I went over to help her a couple of days ago after she was attacked. Try and get more info on her. I guess I just didn't clean off all the blood afterwards." He looks up at Steve and shakes his head. "She is a mystery woman…definitely likes to keep her identity a secret." Steve nods before going to sit down next to him. "I want to ask you a question, and just respond the best you can." Bucky nods. "Are you sure that you don't know her from back then?" Bucky sighs, swallowing a bit. "I…feel like I do." He glances back at Steve. "If you saw the way she moves, and what she had – I mean, she's like a carbon copy of Nat but she's ruthless. She even had some of the same weapons. She had to be trained in Red Room…but I can't recall her for the life of me. That's why I'm trying so hard to figure out if she's truly Ana or not. Maria seems like a reasonable name but…don't know." Steve nods quietly. "Didn't you and Nat have a thing back when you were there?" Bucky quietly nods. He didn't like to think about it often. There was so much pain involved in everything there. "Do you think you might have known this girl like that?" "I genuinely can't remember," Bucky answers honestly, glancing at him. "At this point, all I'm looking for is for some way to figure out if she's truly who she says she is. Maybe after I can search more." Steve sighs but nods. "We got a lot of work ahead of us, then."

Natasha had waited patiently, her arms crossed against her chest with Yelena. It seemed it would take hours for Melina and Alexei to arrive, but when they did, it felt like ages. "You two are worse on time than I am, and that's say something," Yelena mutters. "Quiet, you two," Melina states, looking between them. "We have a serious problem, and I believe you two know what it is."

Natasha and Yelena exchange an uneasy glance, as they look at Alexei who thankfully didn't know what was going on. If he found out Melina had been lying to him for all these years then things would get bloody. "Why did you call me here, Melina?" Alexei asked suspiciously. He hadn't aged well, and it was clearly showing. Despite having the Super-Soldier, it was a far weaker version than the one Bucky and Steve had running through their veins. The woman ignored him as she drank from her glass of red wine, her eyes cold and emotionless. Sometimes Natasha wondered if the woman did genuinely care about her and Yelena, like Alexei did, or if she was just using them. "I believe that despite our best efforts to purge the Red Room, it still exists. Over in Madripoor, a young woman killed the Power Broker, before taking over the city. She's killed several people who tried to break the new rules she implemented as some shot way of a moral code. I refused to acknowledge the bitch, and I tried to kill her…but she defeated me," she said sourly, a hint of bitterness in her voice. "What did you do, Melina?" Natasha asked warningly, praying that the woman hadn't compromised Bucky. If she had, then Steve would go ballistic and raise hell if Bucky were hurt. Not to mention the others. Her surrogate mother regarded her with a cold expression that would have terrified anyone else. But she wasn't frightened of her anymore, not after seeing what she was afraid of. "I hired a death squadron to kill the little whore. She won't survive against them," Melina said confidently, causing Natasha to stare at the woman in shock, before her gaze breaks. Fuck. She had enough and was about to leave, when Melina grabbed her right wrist in a tight grip. "Remember where your true loyalties are, Natasha. I don't want you to end up like her…who chose HIM over us," Melina said meaningfully, her grip tight. Natasha nodded coldly, ripping her arm away and started walking back to her car, refusing to be intimidated. 'What have I done, god?' She thought bitterly, climbing into her car, and turning on the heating.

Ana had cleaned up her apartment after she disposed of the bodies. She had dumped Diego's body in Low Town, knowing that someone would post it on the internet. The other three remaining bodies had been dealt with. She hated the Red Room and what they had done to her. but at the very least the teachers knew how to teach all of them in how to dispose of a corpse after killing the individual. She used a luminal torch to see if any bloodstains remained, relieved when she didn't see any. Despite being near people, she desperately wanted a few furry companions. She needed something to keep her company, other than the people she would meet. She wasn't naïve. Ana knew that they would be targets but she wouldn't let anyone hurt them. She was going to ask X-Con Security Consultants if they would be willing to install security at her house. She decided to take a shower and rest up for the night. She wasn't taking any chances now, considering that Melina had tried to kill her twice now. The older woman still thought she was the same, useless, naive, and helpless little girl all those years ago. She sighed heavily as she trudged upstairs, taking off her bloody, filthy clothes and threw them on the floor. There was no salvaging them. She'd burn the clothes tomorrow. She stepped into the en suite bathroom, turning on the hot water, as she looked at herself in the full body mirror. Scars decorated her body, mainly on her chest, her right arm and some were on her back, and left leg.

Bullet wounds, knife wounds and there was a faded scar on her stomach. She touched it hesitantly, feeling a strange sense of heartache and loss for no apparent reason.

Bucky had gone into the Brass Monkey club, taking Steve with him as they saw Sharon was there. She gestured for them to join her, as they went to a table at the back, where they wouldn't be disturbed. "So, I did some asking around and apparently the woman calling herself Maria Kapitonova is using another woman's name. This is the real Maria Kapitonova. And she's been dead for the last six years, Bucky and Steve." Sharon explained grimly, showing them a photo of a young woman with red hair, brown eyes, and a scar on her throat. Bucky had known that the woman was using a false identity, but this just proved it. Deep down, he knew that she closely resembled Anastasia. Maybe they were related? "So, she's using the identity of a dead woman whose been dead for the last six years. What else have you got, Sharon?" Steve asked intrigued. They were finally getting a fresh lead. "Yeah, I was hoping you'd ask me that question. I did some digging, and Fury emailed me these files that he and Hill found at an abandoned HYDRA base in Voronezh, Voronezh Oblast. Turns out, HYDRA and the Red Room were both working closely together on a project," she said meaningfully. "Something we should talk about elsewhere." Bucky and Steve got her point and left with her to go to her house, leaving behind the bar. Once they arrived, Sharon continued from where she left off, and handed them copies of the files, closing the door behind her. "The Red Room and HYDRA discovered that the girls at the Red Room who had the Super-Soldier serum were far more able to carry a child of the Winter Soldiers. There are lists of names who were chosen for the program. The project began in the 1990′s, and a lot of the pregnancies resulted in the women dying from complications due to the babies developing quicker than a normal baby," Sharon explained gravely as Bucky read the file. He recognized a few of the names, but felt his blood run cold when his eyes drifted to two familiar names. 'Red Guardian and Black Widow - viable pregnancy. Scans confirm that Vostokoff is carrying twin daughters. No complications detected so far into the pregnancy. Vostokoff has confirmed that she has suffered no cramping, or any sign of miscarriage.' "Holy shit, Steve. What if Alexei and Melina were the parents of Anastasia and her twin sister?" He asked quietly. Steve's expression was of grimness and concern. "That's more than likely, but Natasha never mentioned that Alexei and Melina had kids," Steve said hesitantly. Bucky knew the man didn't want to think Natasha had lied to him again. "There's more. On the second page, according to Dr Lyudmila Kudrin, only three women survived carrying the pregnancies to full term. Vostokoff ended up giving birth on June 18, 1995. It says here that she delivered two twin girls," Sharon said wearily, causing Bucky to frown. Bucky read more of the file, feeling his stomach roll in disgust, seeing that the project had been a partial success. They had put the project on hold in order to try and create more of the Super-Soldier Serum. He felt a cold sensation run down his spine, as he thought of Ana then. Maybe she was Alexei and Melina's daughter…possibly.

When the rest of the team had heard back later on what Sharon had discovered regarding the mystery woman, that had sent them on a trip to try and figure out who exactly her family was. Having Sharon reveal that there was actually a twin sister to the girl was an amazing lead. So, one of the Avengers took it into her own hands once she heard that – namely, Wanda. She knew what it was like to lose a twin, and if the young woman that they were looking after really did lose one, there was most likely a hole there that would never be filled. The least she could do is find out if they were right.

After that, they had searched all over the internet, from typical shit to the dark web, trying to see if they could find some sort of league to get them in the right direction. And soon, it wasn't long before they discovered something. The last name Liukin was associated with a Russian cemetery. Instantly, Wanda had assembled the team to fly to where it was, Fury agreeing to it nonetheless considering that it was for a mission. Thankfully the quinjet was quick enough to get them there a little faster than the normal airtime. Even so, arriving had Wanda shaking to see if this was real. They had showed up to the cemetery, stepping in and searching for her name. And it wasn't long before they did find it. Wanda had stood in front of it for a moment, feeling Clint let a hand rest against her shoulder. 'Angelina Aleksandrovna Liukin.' This was it. This was the twin. They were right. They had looked all over to see if there was even a possibility of another Liukin, but funnily, there were none under the names they were looking for. It was mainly strong Russian names that had been attached to it. "I can't believe it," she whispers, looking down at the grave, kneeling down. "There's a lot more to this woman than we realize…she was buried so deep." Clint sighs softly before nodding. "Sometimes that's the case with these things, but…this is good in a way." Wanda looks up to him. "Now that we know for sure that she exists, we have a DNA match-up. She is most likely in the International Data Base if she was dead. We were able to find her originally. If we can somehow get a blood sample from Maria, we can see if she's really Ana or not." Wanda stands, pulling her jacket around her tightly. It was still freezing cold here. "Don't you think that's a bit…sketchy? I mean both Steve and Bucky are there. I don't know how they're going to just get a blood sample off of her." "I'm sure they can figure it out," Clint assures. "We have two of the best super-soldiers in the world. They're not that dumb." "They're also not that smart," Wanda mutters. "True," Clint chuckles before helping her stand. "Come on, let's take some pictures and get this to Fury."

As had been expected, they had gotten the proof to Fury as quickly as possible of the life of Angelina. And as they had expected, Fury had requested to Bucky not that long after to somehow get a blood sample from the mystery woman. To which both Bucky and Steve had sat down for hours, trying to figure out the best way to do so. Because who can just…do that? Eventually, though, they had settled on something that might spurt up one. "How about you just take her out on a date?" Bucky's brow raises in response. "You're serious?" "Yeah, why not? I mean, there's a high probability that you'll most likely get attacked because she has so many bounty's out for her right now. It's the best option you have that's legal in our eyes." He shrugs a bit. "Or you can just attack her mysteriously." "No," Bucky instantly states. His quick response surprised Steve a bit. "I mean, I…I don't want to hurt her more than she's already been hurt. You can tell from a mile away that she has gone through some shit." "Okay…don't worry, we won't do that," Steve reassures him, rubbing his back. "But we still need to get that sample, one way or another…I believe you'll be able to do it" Bucky sighs a bit before glancing up at him. "I haven't been on a date since the 1940′s." Steve snickers. "I think you'll be fine."

After their conversation, it wasn't long before Bucky had asked Maria to come with him on a date, something he had surprisingly been quite nervous to do. Again, it had been so long since he had done something like this, but he knew that it was needed for what they were planning on doing. And she had agreed after a little bit, deciding that they would head out to a smaller restaurant in Madripoor, one that wouldn't attract so much attention. When he had come to pick her up at her apartment, he had waited downstairs for her to come. When she arrived, he felt his mouth drop slightly. You know, it was getting really damn hard to do this mission when the subject was so goddamn gorgeous.

[vxlkyrie]

bittersweet - iii

pairing: spencer reid x reader, jay halstead x reader, sonny carisi x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warning: cursing, violence, graphic crime details, mentions of rape, mentions of death, fighting, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of alcohol

word count: 4.2k

summary: a huge case calls for the bau, intelligence, and special victims, causing you to cross paths with your ex – that no one in your team knew about

other parts: one, two

a/n: ahhh it’s the final part! again, thank you to everyone who has supported this mini series (and all of the asks i’ve gotten about bittersweet has me hollering). also, i used one part of this fic from another one of my fics – how unoriginal of me but idc lol i hope you guys like this ending! 

“i have to go after him!”

“i know you do sweetie,” penelope held your arms, trying to calm you down. “but this is urgent. i promise you can talk to spencer soon.”

“but-” you cried.

“y/n, he’ll be fine.” olivia said, patting your shoulder. you breathed in, trying to slow down your anxious heart.

spencer walked back into the squadroom a few moments later. you tried to approach him as everyone gathered around penelope, but was met with a cold glance from him as he distanced himself from you. you exhaled, turning your attention to the tech analyst.

“go ahead garcia.” hank said.

“i did some research on the 10 girls and nothing came up. they all continued on with their lives or went through recruitment again and happily joined other chapters. they’re all model citizens.” penelope explained.

“okay, go on.”

“and so i did some digging on the sororities themselves, and apparently one of the chapter’s presidents was kicked out a few years ago after being caught hazing new members and was even arrested.” she said, pulling up the article.

you grimaced, thinking of what horrible thing she could’ve possibly done to those girls.

“melanie clarkson, sigma phi kappa.” emily read out loud from penelope’s screen.

“what did she do to the new members?” olivia asked, penelope’s eyes quickly skimming through the article.

“oh god. she laced their drinks with small doses of rat poison and later sodomized them.” penelope said. you were starting to get a sick feeling in your stomach. jj and kim rushed over to you, rubbing your back in order to calm you down.

“so she’s our unsub.” rossi stated.

“she’s had most of her m.o. already before she escalated to killing.” jay stated.

“what’s the connection between her and the other two chapters?” sonny asked as penelope typed away.

“her two younger sisters,” she said, pulling up several files. “lea and hailey clarkson, both 20. they went to two different colleges – one in richmond and one in chicago.” she gulped.

“let me guess, kappa alpha delta and delta xi?” hotch asked for confirmation.

“bingo. there’s medical records going back two years ago of the two sisters coming in the er, both reported to have been raped. sodomized to be specific.”

everyone sighed. you especially cringed to yourself.

“you okay?” emily whispered to you, patting your back.

“yeah,” you weakly nodded. “i can’t believe that these women would do that to each other. it’s so fucking cruel. sororities are supposed to be about sisterhood – not trying to hurt each other.”

“and you are definitely not one of those girls, y/n.” jj reassured you.

you nodded at her, thanking her for her empathy.

“it looks like they were the only ones from their sororities to report the rapes.” penelope continued.

“so they were probably the only ones who were raped?” kevin questioned.

“the news of a melanie being arrested ruined her sisters’ legacy of joining sigma phi kappa so they joined different chapters,” you thought out loud. “everyone must’ve heard about what she did to them, so they targeted her younger sisters as payback.”

“did the sisters file a police report?” olivia asked.

“yes,” penelope answered. “it said that their chapter executive board were in on the attacks.”

suddenly, a light turned on in your head.

“wait, can you pull up everything you have on our past victims?” you asked.

“why?”

“the president from sigma phi kappa told me that our two recent victims were on their exec board.” you explained.

“all of the victims were on their chapter’s executive boards during their last year.” penelope clarified.

“there’s our victimology.” rossi chirped.

“where is melanie now?” derek asked.

“she’s 25 now. released on good behavior after serving for two years and got off probation a year ago.” penelope said.

“her sisters’ attacks were the stressor. waited until she was off probation and then started killing throughout this year.” jj added.

“her financials show that she flew to chicago and richmond during the times of the murders.” penelope called out.

“good job babygirl.” derek patted her back.

“anything else you can get on her, give it to carisi.” hotch ordered, penelope quickly nodding as she continued typing.

“hey guys!” one of the officers shouted, catching everyone’s attention. “we got a call about an intruder at the sigma phi kappa house at hudson.”

“it must be melanie,” hotch clarified. “alright everyone, let’s go.”

everyone prepared, strapping on their vests.

“burgess, ruzek, prentiss, you’ll ride with me.” hank stated.

“rollins, reid, and morgan, you’re with me.” olivia ordered.

“l/n, jj, halstead, looks like you’re riding with me.” hotch said.

“the rest of you are riding with me.” fin called out.

everyone nodded their heads.

as soon as you got yourself ready, you walked up to spencer.

“spencer, can we talk about this?” you pleaded, his eyes not meeting yours. “spence, please-”

before you could even finish, he walked away, joining the others as he walked out. you bit back tears as you took a deep breath. jay gave you a sad smile and a light pat on your shoulder.

now’s not the time, get your head in the fucking game.

-

you stared straight ahead of you as hotch drove to the house. you felt a hand grab yours. you turned your head to see jj giving you a sympathetic smile.

“everything’s going to be fine, y/n,” she said. “spencer loves you too much just to give up on you two because of a misunderstanding. you remember last time that happened.”

you and spencer walked back to your apartment in silence.

“y/n?” he said, pulling his hand away from yours.

“yeah babe?” you tilted your head at him. he visibly swallowed.

“are, are you cheating on me?” spencer croaked. you raised your eyebrows at him.

“what? babe, no! where did you get that from?” you shook your head.

“you’ve been sneaking off and being quiet lately. you won’t even let me into your apartment for the past couple of weeks. please be honest with me y/n, are you cheating on me?” his eyes became glossy.

“i’m not! it’s not what you think.” you tried to explain to him.

“y/n, please spare me the pain and just break up with me if you don’t love me anymore.”

“spencer!” you yelled. “i love you and only you, okay? i’m sorry i’ve been secretive lately, but it’s definitely not because i’ve been cheating on you.”

“i-it’s not?” spencer blushed, feeling guilty for accusing you of such a horrible act.

“no.” you said, grabbing his hand and quickly walked to your front door.

the moment you two entered your dark apartment, the lights turned on, revealing the rest of your team.

“happy birthday spencer!” they cheered. spencer’s jaw dropped.

this explains everything. shit-

“happy birthday spence.” you sadly smiled at him, looking at your feet. spencer scooped your into his arms, holding you tightly.

“oh my god i’m so, so, so sorry y/n. i should’ve trusted you. i can’t believe i would even think for a second that you would do such a thing. i know you would never do that to me. i’m so sorry-” he cried in the crook of your neck.

“spencer! it’s okay! i forgive you!” you exclaimed. he pulled away from you, looking into your eyes. he then quickly leaned in, practically smashing his lips onto yours. you immediately kissed back, molding your lips together.

“whoa there kids, there are people here!” derek shouted as the rest of the team screamed.

you laughed as you both let go of each other.

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

you chuckled at the memory.

“yeah.” you whispered.

moments later, you felt the car being put into park.

as soon as everyone arrived, hotch chatted with the responding officer.

“what do we have?”

“no gunshots reported yet, door’s been broken into, there must be at least 50 girls in that house with the intruder.”

“okay, everyone listen up,” hotch shouted, gathering everyone’s attention as they were arming up. “benson and voight, your groups will get as many people as you can out of the house. those who rode with me, we will go in and find melanie. l/n, you will try to talk her down.” he ordered.

you nodded your head at him.

your group entered the house first, the others soon following and silently walking throughout the house and scattered into the different halls.

you watched as girls exited their rooms in a panicked manner, the team leading them out the front door.

where the hell is she?

you suddenly remembered the room maria showed you when you and jay asked for their rosters. your feet found themselves picking up the pace as you walked towards the study, the rest of your group trailing behind you. you noticed the door had already been opened, immediately walking in gun first.

you entered to see a woman holding a gun to maria’s head. the woman’s eyes filled with anger.

“melanie clarkson, fbi! drop your weapon.” you shouted as everyone aimed their weapons at her.

“these girls have ruined my life! they ruined my sisters’ lives!”

“no, melanie. you ruined your lives when you decided to hurt those girls.”

“is this your way of talking down someone?” melanie spat.

“is this your way of getting revenge for lea and hailey? maria didn’t hurt your sisters. let her go.”

“she didn’t, but she hurt me.” melanie cried.

“how did she hurt you?” you calmly asked.

“she-she was the one who had me arrested! she made me lose my position just for her to take it years later!” she shouted.

“i’m sorry!” maria yelled as tears ran down her face.

“shut up, bitch!” melanie pressed the gun further into her temple.

“melanie! put the gun down! think of your sisters – think of lea and hailey. they just got you back.”

“it doesn’t matter, i’m going back anyways.” melanie scowled.

“would you rather go back or be dead?” you asked.

melanie glared at you, removing the gun from maria’s head to aim at you.

“i don’t know, what do you think, madam president?” melanie snarled. you gave her a confused look. “don’t give me that look. i saw you in an article and did my research on you. y/n l/n – alpha chi delta alumnae. i was proud to see successful women who were in greek life. then i read that you were the president your last year.”

“what does that have to do with anything?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“tell me, how did you haze your new members?” she smirked, placing her finger on the trigger. you mirrored her actions, ready to fire at her if necessary.

“i didn’t.” you stated.

“is that so?”

“yes. i’m not some psychopath who enjoys torturing innocent people. is that what gets you off? poisoning them and then sexually assaulting them?” you spat back.

“you bitch.”

-

the rest of the team stayed back as soon as they had the girls outside of the house.

“do we have everyone?” olivia asked the big group of girls who were shivering from the cold.

“no! where’s maria?!” one girl shouted, catching the captain’s attention.

“we have one girl missing.” olivia spoke into her radio.

“visual on suspect. she’s holding a girl at gunpoint. we have y/n talking to her right now.” vanessa responded.

the mention of y/n over the radio caught both derek and spencer’s attention, snapping their heads up as they looked at each other.

“i gotta get back in there.” spencer said.

“you can’t. they’re gonna be fine.”

“what if something happens to her?” he furrowed his eyebrows in worry.

“y/n will be fine. let her do her job.” morgan said as he placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders, trying to hold him still.

spencer breathed in and out slowly, but can’t fight the horrible feeling of something happening to his fiance – and he wasn’t able to do anything about it.

bang! bang!

spencer’s breath hitched as he saw the medics ran passed him. he tried running into the house, but was pulled back by derek.

“let me go!” spencer yelled as he tried to fight out of derek’s arms.

“take it easy kid!” the older man shouted.

“y/n!” he cried.

“i feel cold.” you whispered as spencer pressed his hand onto your chest, trying to stop the bleeding.

“shhh, be quiet, you’re gonna be fine.” he said, letting out a small sigh of relief when he saw the medics run in. he pulled away as they worked on you.

“hey kid, she’s gonna be fine. she’s a fighter.” rossi said.

the bleeding looks really bad. he thought to himself as he bit his lip.

“i know she is. i can’t help it, you know? what happens if she doesn’t?” spencer sighed.

“spencer! spencer help! help!” he heard you yell as the medics try to hold you down. he rushed over to you, a terrified look painting his face as he saw you thrashing around.

“y/n?!”

“spencer! spencer! spencer!” your shouts grew louder. he jumped back to see everyone looking at him, shouting his name over and over again.

he felt his body shaking.

“spencer!”

his eyes suddenly opened as he quickly sat up, gasping loudly.

“spencer!”

he turned his head to see you looking at him with worry. he pulled you towards him, circling his arms around your middle.

“oh thank god, you’re okay.” he cried into your neck. your arms wrapped around him, rubbing circles on his back with one hand.

“shhh, i’m right here. everything’s okay. i’m okay.” you whispered, running your other hand through his hair.

spencer pulled away, cradling your face with his big hands.

“y-you were bleeding out on the floor and t-the medics couldn’t do anything. you were yelling. you were in pain.” he spoke as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“it was just a nightmare sweetie,” you said as your thumbs wiped his face clean. “i’m right here. i’m never leaving your side, ever.” you reassured.

“promise?”

“promise.”

“y/n!” spencer cried out once more, choking on his sobs. he saw most of your group walk out – but there was no sighting of you.

no, not like this. please.

he saw a gurney with a body bag on top being wheeled out of the house and thought his heart stopped beating.

“where is she?!” spencer roared. derek’s grip on him loosened. he hurried past several people towards the front door, only to stop in his tracks.

there you were, walking down the steps as you wrapped a jacket around maria.

he loudly sighed in relief, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to keep himself up.

you walked maria to one of the ambulances.

“i’m sorry it had to end this way,” you apologized. “no one should have to go through this.”

“i thought i did the right thing years ago. did i cause this?” maria asked as a medic checked up on her.

“you did the right thing, maria,” you emphasized. “you did not cause this. melanie chose to murder those women.” you comforted her.

“thank you.” she smiled at you.

“i still meant what i said earlier. if you need anything, call me.” you smiled back, patting her shoulder as you walked away.

you approached everyone as they were all conversing with each other.

“great work today l/n.” hotch nodded at you, olivia and hank smiling at you.

“let’s all go out for dinner!” adam exclaimed.

“i’m down for anything that isn’t chinese takeout.” kevin quipped, high fiving adam as everyone else shouted in agreement.

“thank god you’re okay, y/n,” rollins hugged you. “you had us worried once we heard those gunshots.”

“yeah, melanie shot at me. luckily, she missed,” you let out a sigh. “where’s spencer?”

“he’s sitting by one of the ambulances.” adam answered.

“why? what happened? is he okay?” you articulated quickly.

“calm down kid, he’s fine,” derek laughed. “he was the most worried out of all us when we heard shots. he’s just catching his breath.”

you felt a wave of relief rushing through you.

“go talk to him,” emily said. “he might’ve been pissed earlier, but he still loves you, you know?”

you nodded as you broke away from the group.

you carefully walked up to spencer who had his head down.

“spencer?” you quietly called out to him. he locked eyes with you, jumping up and wrapping his arms around you. you melt under his touch.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i’m so fucking sorry.” he sniffed as he placed his head on your shoulder.

“it’s okay, i’m sorry too.” you said, crying as you held him in your arms.

“i saw you and jay hugging and i just lost it. i know you wouldn’t cheat on me or ever do anything to ruin our relationship, but i couldn’t help but feel broken at the thought of losing you. then you went and tried to talk down melanie. when i heard shots being fired, i thought the earth had stopped spinning. i thought that i lost you forever and the last memory you had of me was me acting like a jerk to you. i should’ve trusted you more. i’m so fucking sorry.” spencer rambled quickly.

even after all of these years of hearing him talk, you still managed to catch every word that left his mouth.

“baby, it’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for,” you cooed, cradling his face in your hands as you wiped his tears away. “i’m the one who should be sorry for ever making you doubt our relationship. that hug between me and jay could’ve been interpreted differently to anyone. but i swear to you, it was just a friendly hug after he apologized for everything. i can assure you, nothing will ever happen between me and him. he’s finally moved on.”

“god, i love you so much y/n.” he smiled at you.

“i love you too spence.” you smiled back.

spencer pulled you in for a deep kiss, leaving you dizzy afterwards. everything felt right again.

“come on,” you smiled, grabbing spencer’s hand and dragging him away from the ambulance. “i heard we’re having a big dinner tonight.”

-

after getting ready at the hotel, you and spencer arrived at the restaurant. you were escorted to the patio, walking up to the long table hand-in-hand under the small lights that decorated the exterior.

“our couple is back, and better than ever i may say!” rossi shouted as he raised his glass. cheers erupted from everyone, even jay was clapping with joy.

you and spencer blushed as you two walked to your seats that was placed between emily and jay. you assumed the seat next to jay was yours, until you see your fiance sitting next to him.

“hey jay.” he started.

“hey man.” the other said, facing him.

“i just wanted to apologize for earlier. i went too far and was an asshole to you. i don’t think you’re an egotistical, meat-headed, jealous ass.” spencer recalled, making jay chuckle. you, along with the rest of the table, had shock painted all over your faces.

“don’t sweat it. i’m sorry for being an asshole too,” jay laughed. “i acted out of jealousy, but now i realize that she’s moved on, and i have to move on as well. i can see you make her very happy.”

“thank you. i accept your apology.”

“yours as well, and congratulations on the engagement you two,” jay gave you both a smile. spencer nodded, giving him an awkward smile in response. “come on, bring it in man.” jay smirked, pulling spencer in for a hug.

“kid, that’s not how you give a bro hug!” derek exclaimed, causing everyone to laugh.

dinner continued as normal. everyone shared their own stories, talked to you and spencer about wedding details, and even making toasts to you two.

soon, everyone fell into their own worlds, having their own separate conversations.

amanda turned to sonny who was looking at you as you leaned on spencer’s chest.

“that could’ve been you, you know?” she mumbled to him. sonny lightly jumped at her voice.

“what?” he turned to her.

“come on, we all know you liked her right before she started dating halstead.” amanda smirked.

“was it that obvious?” he asked, earning a nod from the blonde. he looked down. “i messed up years ago.”

“i know.” amanda sighed.

“have you asked out y/n yet?” amanda, smirked, leaning on sonny’s desk as he went through his paperwork.

“uh, no.” he shook his head.

“and why not?”

“because i told her i liked you so she didn’t think i had a crush on her.” sonny muttered softly, not making eye contact with amanda.

“you what?!” she exclaimed.

“i-i told her i liked you.” he spoke a little louder.

“and why would you do that?” amanda’s eyes widened.

“because she doesn’t like me like that? she’s way out of my league.” sonny exclaimed.

“that doesn’t even make any sense! are you an idiot? she’s had feelings for you for the longest time.” amanda rubbed a hand against her forehead.

“she does?” sonny furrowed his eyebrows.

“yes! when did you tell her that?”

“like a few weeks ago.”

 “no wonder she didn’t feel like hanging out with us during that time,” she sighed. “she’s been trying to get over her crush on you.”

“well, what am i supposed to do now?”

“tell her how you really feel when she comes in.” amanda said, giving the tall man a stern look.

as if on cue, you walked in with a smile on your face.

“someone’s unusually happy this morning,” fin chirped. “care to share with the class?” he said, making you laugh.

“well, you know that one detective, jay halstead?” you raised an eyebrow.

“that one hot guy from chicago intelligence? yeah, what about him?” amanda asked.

“we went on a date last night.”

“oh?” amanda chirped, giving a quick look at sonny.

“h-how did it go?” he asked, trying to act normal.

“it was magical. he asked me to be his girlfriend.” you beamed at him, ignoring the blush that tinted your cheeks.

“oh my god, congratulations!” sonny laughed, hopefully the sound of his cheers covered the sound of his breaking heart.

-

sonny pulled out his phone as soon as he heard it rang.

y/n calling facetime...

he happily pressed the accept button, watching your face pop up.

“sonny!” you grinned.

“y/n! how’s it going in d.c.?” he asked.

you would facetime sonny and the rest of special victims any time you had some free time after working on multiple cases. he was there to comfort you when you broke up with jay, and even flew out to d.c. with you to help you settle into your new apartment.

“it’s great! everyone here is so nice.” you said as you told your best friend about the different people of the bau.

“they all sound amazing! is that everyone in the bau?” sonny asked.

“there’s one more! uh, spencer reid.” you smiled to yourself.

“what’s with that face y/n?” he teased.

“nothing! it’s nothing.”

“tell me about spencer.” sonny pushed.

you inhaled.

“well, spencer, he’s really smart and kind. he can be a bit awkward sometimes, put that’s part of his charm.” you chuckled.

“it sounds like you have a little crush.” he smirked.

“yeah, about that,” you nervously scratched the back of your neck. sonny raised an eyebrow at you. “i’m dating him – i’ve been for a few months already, actually.” you confessed.

“what?!” sonny almost yelled, jumping from his seat. “and you didn’t tell me?”

“i’m sorry! i’ve been busy!” you blushed.

“even a text saying ‘hey best friend, just wanted to tell you, i’m dating someone’ would’ve been fine.”

“i know! i’m sorry! i just wanted to facetime you when i told you, but then i kept getting called in for cases and you know how i tend to forget things-” you pouted.

“i’m just teasing you y/n,” sonny laughed. “i’m happy for you.”

“really?” you said, eyes filled with hope.

“yes, you deserve to find love after jay.”

“aw, thank you sonny, that means a l-” you said, suddenly stopping when you got a notification.

“another case?” sonny asked.

“unfortunately,” you frowned. “i’m so sorry.”

“don’t be, it’s your job. we’ll call again when you can, okay?” he said, earning a nod from you. “and tell that spencer guy i said hi.”

“of course. i love you sonny!” you said goodbye. sonny nodded, knowing that you meant it platonically.

“i love you too y/n, stay safe!” he smiled back, hoping that it didn’t falter as you hung up – your face suddenly disappearing.

“guess i was just too late.” sonny shrugged.

“i’m sorry.” amanda said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“it’s fine. as long as she’s happy, i’m happy. and that’s all that matters to me.” sonny sighed, taking a sip of his drink as he watched you slapped spencer’s chest, laughing at something he said.

hopefully the alcohol that burned his throat distracted him from that bittersweet feeling.

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice Ch4 PT3

Quick Author’s note!!

I am currently revising the story of Chapter four. I was reading it over and realized I didn’t quite capture Victor like he is in the game. So I’m making some adjustments to the story. In doing so I may be late to some uploads. I ask you please to be patient with me. I love that I have fans who are intrigued in Ike’s story. Honestly it’s what wakes me up in the morning! And I want to release the best content for you to enjoy. 

Thank you all so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy Ikamara’s story!!

~Ike ‘n Bar Productions

Warnings: Some nice juicy Victor angst, also fluff, and foreshadowing, and backstory (oh my!), and don’t forget the good ol’ cliffhangers! :D

Some of the lines were taken from the game Mr. Love: A Queen’s Choice.  In this case, it was taken from Chapter ten. :)

(Chapter Four (Victor and Gavin) Prologue, and part one, and two can be found here!)

Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here :D

Chapter four:

Part three:

Victor had come back. He was hanging his coat on the coat rack, eyeing me carefully. I muted the tv and addressed him, “It’s nothing. I was just thinking. What are you doing back here so late?”

“I told you I was coming back, didn’t I?” Victor walked over to the desk at the corner of the room, “Didn’t the doctor tell you to keep your voice in a whisper?”

“The doctor doesn’t have to know.” I grumbled mostly to myself, “I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt. Anyway, didn’t you just get off from work? Don’t you want to be home?”

“Why are you so concerned?” Victor picked up the briefcase that was hidden underneath the desk as he eyed me, “Are you trying to get me to leave?” 

“No.” I said absentmindedly, “Just curious.” Victor arched his eyebrow but said nothing more as he opened his briefcase. He started placing the folders and papers delicately inside. “How are you feeling?" Victor asked casually, keeping most of his focus on packing his things, "How is your arm?”

“I’m perfect!” I dramatically answered, “I can speak just fine and I can’t even feel any pain in my arm! I bet I don’t even need to be here for five days! I should be released tonight!”

Victor hummed, “Nice try.”

I grunted and sank in my bed. Silence droned through the room. The only sound that could be heard was by Victor as he shuffled around the papers at his desk. But soon, even that sound stopped. I looked over just as Victor picked up the bowl. I sat up in the bed and opened my mouth to speak.

“Where did you get this spoon?” Victor unknowingly interrupted, holding up the lion headed spoon by the hilt for me to see. I closed my mouth.

“I was going to ask you the same-” I choked on my words, “... Wait the spoon? Why the spoon?”

“... It looks handmade.” Victor said, looking at the lion’s head closely. “It’s… an interesting design.”

“... I don’t know.” I answered honestly, “We’ve had that spoon for as long as I remember. Why do you have Maria’s bowl?”

Victor eyed me, “...Maria, brought it in when she first came to visit. Bart had told her that I was the one… looking after you. She wanted to show her appreciation so she made pudding and gave it to me in this bowl... She also made sure to mention it was your recipe.” I rolled my eyes. That pudding had always been her favorite thing that I made. She never hesitated to seize the opportunity to brag about it. “Maria said this spoon was deemed the special spoon in her house and that she felt as if I deserved it. What do mean by ‘as long as you remember?’” 

I arched my eyebrow. "Why are you so interested in my spoon?"

"Just curious." Victor teased. I looked at him a moment longer then sighed and looked away from Victor. Faint memories clouded my thoughts.

 “I’ve had that specific spoon with me since I was a kid." I answered honestly, "I've brought it with me from foster house to foster house. I don’t know when or how I got it but, for some reason, I feel connected to it. Like I had it for a reason. It’s almost as if I needed to return it to someone or something. Maria calls it the special spoon because I’ve kept it with me for so long. She saw it as a right of passage to her when I let her add it to the other silverware. It’s a rule in their house that we only use it for the special kids. So,” I looked back up at Victor and smirked, “Congrats.” 

He just trained his eyes on mine, maintaining his poker face and seemingly taking everything I said seriously. When I finished speaking, Victor hummed quietly and looked over to the spoon again. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. “How did you like the pudding?” I dropped my smirk. Victor always had a knack for throwing me off my guard.

“What?” I asked stupidly. 

“The pudding that I had made you. From your night at Souvenir.”

I blinked.

I slapped my forehead and cursed, “Ah, I haven’t eaten it. I crashed when I got home and then had dinner at my parent’s house and forgot about it. Maybe I can get Gavin to bring it-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Victor shifted to face his desk again, “I’ll make you some more while you’re here.” I hesitated

“... You don’t have to do that. You’ve done enough.”

“What? Are you worried my pudding will be better than yours?”

“If your pudding is anything like your stake. I know it will be." I grumbled, "What I’m saying is-”

“I know what you’re saying.” Victor interrupted, “It won’t be any trouble. Just worry about yourself and your health.” I stared at Victor. His profile was as sharp and strong as ever. But his face was drawn and his hair was messier than usual. Not only that, but he looked as if he had gotten thinner.

“No.” I answered without realizing it. Victor turned to me with an arched eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” His tone was harsh. It was obvious that the CEO of LFG didn’t get told 'no' often. I folded my arms defiantly.

“I said, 'no.' You’re telling me to take care of myself when you’re going out of your way to take care of my company. I’m fine. It’s just a scratchy throat and a wound I can’t even feel. You shouldn’t have to-”

“Do you think I don’t have the ability to take care of the company and you at the same time?” Victor asked this in a defiant tone.

“No. You can do anything you put your mind to.”

“Then why are you bringing this up so suddenly?”

“I just… I don’t want yet another person getting hurt because of me.” My voice was nearly inaudible. Images from the explosions pushed into my vision. Sights of people under the rubble, screams for help, unconscious coworkers,... Gavin’s lifeless body in my arms. 

I cringed and tightened my hands on the sheets, keeping my eyes down but not focusing on a thing. The room was silent, making the empty sound of the television monitor fill the room. 

“...Ike.” Victor said this slowly, as if readying himself for something, “Earlier you said something about the explosion being your fault.” I froze, “What did you mean by that?” I hesitated. 

“I don’t know.” I murmured quietly, “... Maybe if I had been a little nicer to my employees then I wouldn’t have had a bomb thrown in my window.” Victor didn’t say anything. After a moment, the clacking of his work shoes approached my bed. I looked up and saw he was looking at me gravely.

“That kind of a connection requires a lot of thinking.” He said in a tone that matched his expression perfectly.

“Is that another way of calling me a ‘dummy?’” I asked, raising an eyebrow and resting my head on my hand.

“I’m saying you’d need time to think about it.” Victor folded his arms and frightened his glare on me further, “This morning, after you had made that accusation, you wouldn’t have had the time to make that connection. So let me ask you again.” Victor leaned forward and slowed the pace of his speech, 

“Under what pretense do you have to blame yourself?”

 I stayed silent, flipping between Victor’s eyes.  Words hung at the edge of my throat. Just tell him. My thoughts urged me incessantly, Just tell him about the mask. About the bombings. About Montu. Tell him everything. He’ll listen. I opened my mouth. 

Suddenly, one thought hit my head like a train.

I quickly turned and stood up from my bed, putting it between Victor and me. “I don’t remember my life being any of your concern.” My voice was emotionless and distant as I walked towards the bathroom door, “You’re my boss. My personal life shouldn’t have anything to do wi-”

A hand wrapped around my wrist and, before I could help it, I was pulled towards a firm chest. I scoffed and looked up, locking eyes with Victor. He glared down at me. I waited for him to speak but he made no move to do so. I pushed off of his chest with my free hand, only to have it captured by Victor’s other hand. He pulled it to the side and away from me, making me virtually defenseless. 

I glared up at him, but stopped the moment I read his expression. Victor’s eyebrows were furrowed, his lips were thin, and his cheeks were slightly tucked in. But, as I looked into his inky black eyes, one emotion became clear.

Determination.

“Victor,” I growled, “What are you-”

“Do you remember what I had said after your night at Souvenir?” Victor spoke seriously. I flinched. Victor waited for me to answer but, after seeing I wasn’t going to, sighed and said, “I told you that keeping things to yourself isn’t healthy. I told you you could confide in me about anything.  I told you that I would help. I promised you. Did you not believe me?” My shoulders slowly eased as I read his face. He showed no signs of deceit, no break in character, no falter in his voice. It was all the truth. He meant it… but why? Why would he say that? What was his reason to-

“You have spent your whole life to yourself.” As if reading my mind, Victor spoke up again, “You have felt the need to keep everything to yourself, to never let anyone in. You don’t need to think about it that way anymore. You have a loving family, friends, employees…” Victor paused a moment. He loosened his hold around my wrists and drifted his hands up my arms until he was at my upper arms. He squeezed them gently, “... you have me.” I hitched my breath. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes welled with water.

I have waited so long to hear those words.

...

I shook my head and blinked back my tears as I forced my eyes to the floor. I raised my hands and pushed against Victor’s chest.

“V-victor.” I struggled against the lump in my throat, “That’s why… that’s why I can’t tell you. I… can’t lose-” 

Victor forced my hands off of him and, in one swift motion, pulled me into his chest. He wrapped his arms around my body, shutting me out of the world around us and engulfing me in his warmth. The smell of his expensive cologne plugged my nose and the sound of the buzzing television was overtaken by his steady breathing and beating heart. I could feel his breath tickling my ear as he rested his head beside mine, closing the distance between us even further.

My body tensed as a sharp blush pushed through my cheeks. I kept my hands held out past Victor’s body, unsure of what to do with them. I felt Victor shift his head, his mouth grazing the tip of my ear. His warm breath teased the baby hairs on my neck causing a shiver to run through my body. His next words were told in a whisper but they stopped my heart and made my mind go blank. After years of waiting for those words, they finally came from the mouth of LFG’s CEO.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

I paused a moment, letting his words reverberate through my head. Then, I felt my whole body relax. The tears I had tried so hard to hold back started falling down my cheeks. Victor took this moment to pull me even closer to him. Without hesitation, he continued, “No matter what happens, I’m here for you. You don’t have to hide in the dark anymore. Ikamara, 

“Let me help you.” 

Victor’s last words sent another shudder through my heart. I closed my eyes and, after a moment’s hesitation, buried my head in his shoulder. I shakily grabbed onto the back of his suit jacket. I squeezed the fabric tightly, as if letting it go would mean my death. I relished in the moment. Hoping that, at least in that moment, time would stop forever, and I would never have to leave his arms again. 

But, as soon as I thought that, flashes of the warehouse came flooding to my mind and played behind my closed eyelids. The chained front door, the empty classrooms, the secret room, the pictures... my pictures, the explosion, the lake,... Gavin.

I held back a sob as I gripped on to Victor’s jacket tighter. 

No. 

The word repeated itself in my head over and over, No. no no no NO! Please. Please just let me have this moment. Please let me take it in. Take him in.  I can’t keep this charade any longer. I can’t keep all of this to myself any longer. I need to vent it out. I needed to say something. 

Anything. 

The thought from before burned itself on the front of my brain. The same thought that made me want to distance myself from Lucien after that date. The thought that made me lie to Gavin’s face. The thought that made me scared to meet Kiro. The thought that stopped me from seeing my family as frequently as I wanted. The thought that terrified me to the core.

You’re putting their life in danger by letting him know.

So, through my watery eyes and aching heart, I muttered two short, strained words.

“I can’t.”

(Next)

[sally-mun]

Hm...how ‘bout a bit of a headcanon dump with your character of choice?

I’m not the best with head canons in relation to actual canons (I mean I have them and all, but I have a hard time thinking of them on the spot), so I’m going to morph this slightly. I’m going to ramble for a bit about how I write Shadow.

Just look at that awkward little nugget.

I guess the biggest thing I want to make clear is that Shadow is not the edgelord his reputation suggests he is. He certainly used to be, but that came from a place of a LOT of pain and anguish, and he’s come to terms with the shitty things that happened in his past. Most people don’t realize that’s not the person he is anymore, though (especially since he has a classic resting bitch face), so he has a difficult time relating to most people because they don’t really see him for who he really is.

Who is he, then? Well, he’s a lot of things. He’s content with his solitude but also lonely from time to time. He’s a skilled cook and baker, and likes video games of all kinds, but is particularly good at FPSes. He gets nervous around ‘normal’ people because he doesn’t want to frighten anyone, since he knows people still see him as a threat. He still lives according to some older norms and uses older slang, and is sometimes confused by more current customs and language. He’s curious about the world, but views it as an outside observer, rather than an active resident.

Shadow lives alone on the ARK, mostly because it’s the only place he considers “home” and it helps him stay close to his happier memories. He works for GUN in exchange for being able to live there -- meaning he doesn’t actually get paid for the work he does. If he wants to be paid, he’ll effectively be evicted from the ARK, so he chooses the ARK. In a way that’s fine because he effectively has everything he needs there, but it also limits him from experiencing the rest of the world.

Recently, however, he seems to have discovered a new avenue toward earning income: After a passing comment from... either Knuckles or Finitevus IIRC, he started a ‘MeTube’ channel where he posts himself playing video games. He did this largely as an exercise in ‘putting himself out there,’ but became alarmed when his channel exploded in popularity. His viewers consider his channel ‘the ASMR of gaming,’ because his voice is very calm and gentle, and his facecam has a beautiful view of space over his shoulder. Amusingly, his viewers don’t realize that his “Games From Space” channel is real, and assume that he uses video effects. He wears a donut-patterned hoodie while broadcasting and simply goes by “Shads.”

Every now and then he and Finitevus go out to see the world as part of helping Shadow heal from the loss of Maria. He still has a list of places he and Maria always said they wanted to go and things they wanted to try once they were able to live on the surface, so Fini has been trying to help facilitate that. At first Shadow was afraid this would mean he was leaving Maria behind, but it’s actually gone very well, and has had a very positive impact on his psyche. As a result of these trips, Shadow has started collecting snowglobes from all the locations he’s visited. He’s usually more fascinated by really simple and mundane things rather than the main attractions; he often comments that he’s surprised at how many things he’s never really stopped to look at, even when he encounters them while on GUN missions.

Shadow is almost painfully polite. He takes his manners very seriously, especially considering how awful his behavior was back when he was lashing out at everyone and everything, so he constantly reviews the things he learned from Maria when in the presence of a guest or host. He’s borderline robotic in how he handles himself. For example, if he visits Knux and Fini, he always shows up outside their door and knocks first, even though he’s been told repeatedly that he can just warp straight inside.

One thing that’s still a major weakness in his life is the longing for family. It’s the main reason he would repeatedly align with Robotnik/Eggman, even when he didn’t particularly agree with the goal or want to do the things asked of him. If it’s family asking, he’s pretty much guaranteed to say yes. This has become an enormous problem in recent years because Snively not only knows this, but actively weaponizes it in an attempt to get Shadow under his thumb. He constantly pushes the fact that he’s the last of Shadow’s “family” and that family shouldn’t turn their back on each other. It’s gotten to the point that the only way Shadow can protect himself is just to block communications all together.

OKAY that’s all I’ve got for right now. Maybe I’ll go into more detail some other time!

[takadasaiko]

Hi, I don’t wanna sound rude but why r u romanticising an abuser? Howard was abusive to his son n was probably as cold hearted towards Maria 2. I mean, from all the clips we got of her with him, she seems wary n sad. Always compromising, some battered wife syndrome. There was a shot scene from IM2 where he made her cry. I also doubt he stayed faithful; he’s a womaniser n really a misogynist in Agent Carter. I hope I dont come off as rude. I just wonder how there r HowardMaria ship 😖 take care.

I’m not sure why people think that saying ‘I don't want to sound rude’ makes it any less rude to come into an inbox and call someone an abuse supporter. I’m not romanticizing abuse in any way, shape, or form. I enjoy the complexity of Howard’s character that we got a better view of through the Agent Carter series. I have an analysis here if you’re interested that delves into how he went from the disaster dork we saw in CATFA and the Agent Carter series to the man that Tony remembers as being cold and distant. I also have a post here that touches on it as well. 

I’m aware that there are various arcs in the comics in which Howard is a downright bastard and a half. I totally understand why fans wouldn’t and don’t like him in those arcs. I have no interest in that Howard. The one I write about and the one I spend time on is the one from the MCU who is shown as having more of an emotional disconnect with Tony and an inability to express how he felt in a way that Tony could understand. That’s not abuse. Terrible, stressful, and painful absolutely, but not abuse. 

We see Tony go on a journey through the Marvel movies from where he describes his dad in IM2 as someone that never said that he loved him through the clip that Howard message Howard left him on the reel all the way through getting to see his father in 1970 and experience how terrified, but still excited he was for Tony’s arrival. It’s part of growing up in a way. As Tony matures, experiences some of the things his father experienced, he gets a better, more rounded understanding of him. It doesn’t mean Howard was a ‘good’ father, necessarily. He screwed up in a LOT of ways and actions have consequences. Some of those were consequences that Tony lived through (such as not believing his father loved him). Thankfully Tony was able to break what I can only assume was a Stark family trend of bad communication between fathers and children. The way he takes what he saw his father do incorrectly and adjust for the way he approaches Morgan is fantastic and such a healthy response.

For Maria, we know precious little about her in the MCU. We saw her through Tony’s memories via BARF, Tony spoke about her to Steve, we saw her in the video where she and Howard are killed by the Winter Soldier aka Bucky, and then Howard spoke about her in End Game.  Breaking those down individually: 

BARF

In the BARF memory form Civil War she strikes me as long-suffering dealing with the Stark men’s antics. Howard and Tony clearly had a habit of pushing the other’s buttons and Maria just sits there at the piano lightly chiding them. She didn’t strike me as an abused wife in the slightest. It’s not a stretch to assume she had to give things up to become Howard Stark’s wife - she would live in the spotlight with him - but that hardly means she’s abused. Any sadness seems to stem from the fact that her boys don’t see eye-to-eye. She loves them, she knows that they love each other, but stubborn Stark boys have trouble expressing that and butt heads instead. I’d be frustrated too. That woman had to be a freakin’ saint.

Which takes us to our next mention of her....

Talking to Steve 

When Tony is rambling on to Steve about why he and Pepper are taking a break in Civil War he says that, in Pepper’s defense, he’s a handful (Tony is likely my favourite MCU character, but I think anyone can admit he’s a handful). He goes on to say that Howard was a ‘pain in the ass, but Mom always made it work.’ He’s comparing the same level of Stark boy drama and the women that love them. We’ve seen Pepper. She’s sharp and clever and takes no shit. This conversation here is one of the reasons I feel Maria had to be very similar. The parallel is drawn through comparison. 

The Recording/ Bucky’s Memories

When we’re watching the video of the Starks’ car crash and shift into Bucky’s memories there, the first thing Bucky remembers is Howard falling out of the car and mumbling ‘help my wife. Help my wife.’ For all of Howard’s fault (and the man has a laundry list of defects), his first thought was to help Maria, not himself. 

And I would just like to take a brief moment to note that abusers focus is on themself. On what they can gain. It’s not to help others. 

End Game Discussion

This whole conversation was really to give Tony closure with all the questions he had about Howard and the lingering ‘did my father ever love me?’ that was difficult to get a real answer to once he was gone. Even so, we see Howard thinking about his pregnant wife at home. Flowers and whatever she was craving at the time. It’s small, but it’s sweet, and for a man that could have easily just told Jarvis to get her whatever she wanted, he’s doing it. It shows a certain level of care and attention that from a man that clearly struggles in that arena emotionally, deepening the meaning of the actions.

For your other mentions...

Tony was a womanizer in IM1, but he was faithful to Pepper once they got together. With all the parallels drawn between Tony and his father, why do you think Howard was any different?

Also, I’m not sure I know what scene you’re referring to in IM2. Maria’s mentioned very briefly when Tony pops up in the reel they’re shooting and Howard asks him where his mother is. Feel free to jog my memory on that one, because I’m at a loss there.

You seem to make a lot of assumptions based on a bias that you seem to start with, which is your prerogative. You’re welcome to feel however you wish about a character for whatever reason you wish to feel that way. What you are not welcome to do is come into my inbox and call me an abuse condoner.

[schoolastica]

12th birthday

In AO3!

Summary:  Morgan Happy Stark-Parker is turning 12 and Tony can't believe he raised a kid until now.

Start:

12th birthday

Tony felt the mattress stiffing, shifting as he felt a small body pressing up into his back. Maybe ten years ago, that could have meant a slow, sweet loving making session with his Alpha, but in the present, today more precisely today, it only meant one thing. So Tony turned around to hug whoever was the little monster that wanted snuggle time before the others got their chance. He was surprised when he saw it was Morgan, she hadn’t done it in about 4 years. Then again, today was a special day. When he faced her, she had a curious look in her face and hugged him tightly, sniffing her daddy in search of comfort.

- Hello birthday girl- Tony hugged back and closed his eyes, just enjoying his 12-year-old daughter. -How are you feeling this morning? - He muttered.

Tony waited for an answer but Morgan just snuggled closer and scented him deeper. That started to worry him.

- Morgan?- Tony called a little bit louder and pulled her head gently so he could see her eyes.

- I can present now- Morgan’s voice sounded unsure- When do you think I will present?

- Well- Tony started to understand why all the comfort was needed, it was indeed a sore topic- It depends on who you are most like to, I presented pretty early, wasn’t even 12. Your dad was a late bloomer, he presented at his late 14’s.

Morgan stopped hugging Tony and faced the ceiling. She had grown to be a lovely lady, full-on Peter-like. Her features were soft and delicate but she had a permanent pout, brown warm eyes, tan skin (from playing so much in the sun). She was also very tall for age, she played so many sports that she had an infinite painting of bruises in her long and lean body. That came because she definitely had Tony’s spunky personality. Any activity that got even close to being “ Ladylike” made Morgan uninterested. Not that Peter and Tony cared about Lady-like things, they tried to give Morgan all the opportunities, that’s all. So they took her in Ballet. Then Gymnastics. Anything that meant dancing and funny clothes was a no-no.

She did like soccer, karate, Nerf guns, and everything in her parent’s lab (there were some incidents but she was a smart kid).

Before Tony met Peter, he thought he was a fluke and that you could tell a person’s gender by its behavior during childhood. Alphas were tough kids, they were possessive, spunky, got into fights, and liked races and trucks. Omegas were calm children, seldom falling and going towards arts and had manners and liked soft things. Betas were medium, they liked to follow a lot, they would find a best friend in kindergarten and follow it for life.

So everyone thought Tony would be an Alpha for exactly this childhood traits, he even found his Beta best friend in kindergarten: Rhodes. He was a spunky and problematic child since the beginning, he would break expensive things and Howard would beat his tiny butt raw and Maria would be the one cuddling him (in secret). He’s genius would be in mind and temper, he would fight with teeth and claws and only be scared of the impetuous figure of Howard Stark.

And when he presented as an Omega, he thought it was a fluke. He had been such a cocky 11 years old. The presentation came after your 12th birthday but Tony presented exactly on his birthday. He was so happy, he spent the whole day in bed, Maria had to cancel his party and stayed by his bedside while he howled in pain, rolled around in sweat and cried painful tears, but he was still happy, he was becoming an alpha! Until the next day, when his scent settled down and his mom frowned upon his sight. The shame that followed would be part of his memories for a long time.

Until he found Peter, an Alpha that everyone thought it was an Omega, a fluke. So really now Tony believes this is all shit. Children will behave the way they like and biology will take care of the rest.

Morgan seemed worried, more than it was normal to be.

- What do you think I will be? - She questioned, still looking at the ceiling. Tony felt Peter slightly shifting by his side, and he knew that his mate was listening, but letting them have this conversation.

- I think that you will be an amazing woman, Morgan- Tony stared at her, hoping that she would understand his feelings. She sighed. - What happened honey? That’s not like you.

- The kids in my school were telling me some stories about people that presented Omega or Beta and were expelled from their home- Morgan got her face against Tony’s chest again and her voice wavered with tears held back.

- What? Baby!- Tony sitter up and managed a 12-year-old into his lap, like he did when she was a small baby. Morgan was full-on crying now and Peter gave up staying out of the talk and also set up.

He came in Tony’s help and tried to give soothing words for his daughter. He glanced worriedly at Tony while petting Morgan’s back.

- Okay, Morgan, listen to me.- Tony whispered to her in a calm tone- Those stories are from the past. People don’t do that anymore, well, only buttheads do- Peter glared at Tony.

- There’s nothing wrong in fearing the presentation, Morgan- Peter rubbed slow circles in Morgan’s back as he talked in a slow and steady voice- But those stories are about sad, horrible times were ignorance laid bare in the world. We love you so much, we loved you since before we knew your face and our love doesn’t have a limit, baby.

Morgan’s cry had quiet down to light hiccups and now Tony was rocking her gently back and forth and her hiccups were slowly fading. She slowly took her head out of Tony’s shoulder and decided that she wanted her Alpha daddy, so she shifted towards Peter, who gladly took her and smiled at his partner. Tony felt joy then, especially watching his mate help calm their child down. When he presented, his mother had cried disappointed tears and his father haven’t even looked at him. And started treating Tony like if he was less then nothing. He never got snuggles from his mom anymore.

And he felt joy because none of his children would ever feel like it. They might feel fear, which was normal, but they would never feel ashamed or abandoned. His child was scared and she knew that coming to her parents was the right thing. And if that wasn’t a great way to show Tony that he was on the right path, then he didn’t know what it was.

After Morgan’s tears dried and her hiccups faded, Peter took her to the Penthouse kitchen to make her his “ special birthday breakfast ” like it was the tradition. They had the whole day planned and couldn’t let a day like this start like that. First, Peter would make the special breakfast and wake the kids while Tony had called Pepper, Nat, Wanda, and Vision to help set up the perfect picnic in Central Park. The birthday party would be a picnic and about 40 kids would attend it so they had work to do. Passing through the kitchen, he saw Peter finishing up the breakfast while Morgan helped him and the sleepy-looking Maria and Harley we’re watching them.

In Central Park, they organized everything. The Picnic tables had green and red tablecloths and they hang the letters “Happy Birthday Morgan” between two trees. They cleaned the leaves and set up the games for the children and set up a table with all the food that Nat brought. They also made sure that all the paparazzi were away from where the party would be. When everything was ready, Tony called Peter saying he could take the kids to the park.

Peter arrived with the kids and they all managed to look somewhat presentable (leaving Peter in charge of setting the kids up was like letting a child dress the children up). Morgan had her usual casual clothes, Maria was in all her glory in a pink soft dress while Harley was in his favorite t-shirt, a red one with an Iron Man figure, and had the saying “I am Iron Man!’ written on it. Their kids were beautiful, mind you.

Morgan was a cute kid. She was the most similar to Peter, she had her soft chin and his eyes. Completing 12 today, you could see she was going to be as tall as Tony, for she had a slim and tall body for her age. Her deep brown hair was cut short in a spunky style, never bothering itself into a bun and being almost constantly dirty. Maria also had almost nothing on Tony, she was Peter all the way down. Her hair was light brown, long and soft, permanently combed and tied with bright ribbons or held up in tiaras. Her eyes and her baby-like cheeks formed a beautiful face, similar to her older sister and Alpha, but also unique. Now, Harley, that one was something else.

Harley was Tony’s copycat, something that even frightened him a little bit. To see a picture of Tony at 6 years old and to see a picture of Harley was almost to see the same thing. Almost, and that was important. Because Tony’s childhood photos were black-and-white and presented a sad boy, clearly suffering through a bad father and hard times. And that was not Harley. Harley was an energetic 6-years-old, he smiled 24/7, and no photo of him ever presented the contrary. He was a copycat of Tony, except he was way happier, cheerful, and more looked out for.

Morgan’s eyes shone in the sight of her pretty party and as soon as the kids started to arrive, the chaos was unleashed. Tony and some parents took care of the barbecue and the other foods while Peter took care of entertaining the kids. At 31, Peter kept having energy enough to impress all the parents that saw him attracting the kids with uncountless games and songs and even some magic tricks. And so the day went on, the party was a success. The kids were having a blessing, some of them had scratched knees or sore members, but all under control. If there was any sight that the weird theory that kids behavior could say their gender, it was destroyed here. Morgan and her pals were all in for playing violent games of chase and soccer, Harley would get excited to play with his sister so he would follow her like a puppy while Maria and two of her friends played a quiet Tea Party, all pretty and sweet.

When the time to sing “ Happy Birthday ” arrived, the sun was giving the first signs of it going down. Morgan was already so dirty, but Tony managed to gather all his kids (including Peter) to get closer to the cake and help sing the song. Morgan was so excited that she blew the candles with all the strength her lungs could express and everyone cheered loudly.

In the end, all the kids left slowly, all with a tired face, sore knees, and full stomachs. With the help of all the adults there they managed to clean things up while an exhausted Harley slept in the grass near them and Morgan and Maria enjoyed the last pieces of cake they could have. Tony took Maria in his arms and Peter took Harley and they both held each of Morgans’ hands and took them back to the Penthouse. They thought about showering the kids but they were so tired that they just put them in their beds and let them drift off to deeper sleep. Tony put Harley into his bed and just looked at his soft face, feeling his calming scent and just for the fact he existed.

When Tony finally got up from the little’s bed, he noticed Peter in the doorway, watching them. Peter moved silently and kissed Tonylightly. They hugged each other in the darkroom, only illuminated by the light from the hallway, and they just breathed each other scents for a while.

- If you ask for anther kid right now, I’ll punch you babe- Tony muttered. Peter snorted a laugh.

- Nah, I was just thinking how lucky I am.- Peter’s voice was full of joy.

- How so?- Tony questioned. Peter sighed and hugged him tightly.

- I mated with my teenage crush- Tony wasn’t sure, but Peter seemed to be blushing- I mated with my teenage crush, and our eldest child just turned 12. Im the luckiest person in the world.- And now Peter’s voice was shaky with what Tony bet was tearing. The kid was so weak sometimes, pfff.

But Tony couldn’t complain at all, especially when his eyes were moist. Yeah, they were lucky. Peter had his teenage crush and Tony, he had a new beginning. All his suffering, all life had thrown on him, all made sense if he got Peter Parker at the end of the night. So they retired to bed, holding each other close and preparing for their morning routine. In the early days, they could enjoy the quiet night together, but they were both dead tired. Instead, they got to cuddle and talk until they drifted off to sleep.

Of course, everything turned different in the morning.

[oxsix]

The Long Road to Family

Chapter 9- Reunions pt.1

AO3

In which things couldn’t be more awkward if they’d planned it that way.

As Catherine of Aragon walks toward the destination she'd been given, she can't help but think through every possible unpleasant situation that could occur. Chief among them is that she gets there to find only Anne. She tries to avoid thinking about the discomfort of the two of them reuniting with only them there. It's enough to make her physically cringe.

She works through a number of awkward scenarios in her head, and her mind tries desperately to imagine how it would react in the situation, and how she could get out of there as soon as possible. Her mind has always had that tendency—to overthink, over-analyse. It's caused her plenty pain and stress in the past. And it's followed her into the next life, apparently.

The door to the building is fairly uninspiring; it's just a small community centre, and not a very well-funded one. Catalina's not really aware of this, though, as she's unfamiliar with the concept of a community centre as  whole. All she sees is a squat little brick building, adorned with flyers for a number of events, some of which have already passed. As she approaches, the glass doors open on their own and she jumps a little. This new world doesn't seem to run out of quirks.

With some apprehension, she enters, and does her best to swallow the awful feeling of trepidation that's built up over the course of her journey. She knows she'll be one of the first there; it's only 5:30 am. She'd given up on trying to sleep and opted to turn up early instead. Still, that means she's more likely to be stuck in the awkwardness of trying to interact one-on-one with somebody.

She isn't sure which of the five she thinks will be less uncomfortable. She never really knew any of them except for Anne, and that had been ill-fated.

The woman who is waiting there in the room, however, is not any of them. She is the one person Catalina would not have expected, and probably one of the last people she would hope for. But Aragon doesn't know that yet.

She takes stock of this stranger—not someone she recognises, of course. None of them look like their old selves now. She's got dark hair, pulled back into a ponytail, and a full fringe. Catalina scans her face for anything that might be familiar; anything that might hint at who she's looking at. She finds nothing.

"Hi." The woman says, voice slightly shaking. Evidently, she's as nervous as Catalina is.

"Hi. Early morning?"

"Couldn't sleep." The woman's voice is blunt. She seems to relax a little with Catalina's friendly tone, though.

She lets out a small huff in response.

"Yeah, me neither. Too much to- Too much of an adjustment, I suppose."

"Yeah, we didn't really sleep, either. The others are still watching TV, I think. I needed some air, so... thought I'd just head out."

"Others?" As far as Catalina had been aware, the six of them had been roomed individually.

"The other Ladies in Waiting, sorry. Maggie, Joan, Maria? We, um... We came back too. Sorry, we should probably have done introductions by now."

Catalina laughs, but part of her is still fixated on a particular name. Her Maria? Was she back too?

"Yeah, probably."

"Bessie." She holds out a hand. "Bessie Blount."

"Catalina." Her voice is as neutral as it can be. Bessie lowers the hand.

And, for what feels like another five centuries, the two of them stand there. And they stare at each other. And they try to figure out just how the fuck they're supposed to react to this.

Because there's no guidebook for this. No "How To Deal With Being Resurrected 500 Years In The Future And Meeting Your Ex-husband's Mistress Again For Dummies.” Neither of them even know where to begin.

So they stand, and they stare. And their minds race.

All of her thinking; her planning, and Catalina had never been prepared for this. It should have occurred to her sooner—she should have been ready for the worst, and here it was. She wants to disappear. She doesn't want to have to negotiate this situation right now. She hasn't slept, and she'd been dead up until yesterday afternoon. She's in no state to deal with this.

But she's here. And there's no getting out of it.

Bessie. After all this time. She's older now, though Catalina supposes they've all changed in appearance, anyway. She looks the other woman in the eyes—neither of them have been able to break their tense eye-contact yet—and she can almost see that scared teenager all over again.

She's angry. But she's also guilty. And sad. And confused. And- happy? She doesn't know any more. All she knows is it's far too much for one person to feel at once. And, from the look on her face, Bessie is feeling something similar.

She doesn't know if she wants to scream and shout, or cry, or embrace the other woman. Or punch her in the face. She can't make sense of all the conflicting feelings inside her, so she stand there.

Still.

They play this game of emotional chicken, where they both stand there in stoic silence, and wait for the other to make a move. Neither wants to sacrifice their pride by being the first to react.

And then she caves. And her arms are around the other woman, and she might be crying but she can't be sure.

"What are you doing?" Bessie is stiff in her arms.

"I don't know."

"Me neither." Her arms move up, slowly, to return the embrace.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Neither of them are sure how long they stand there like that, only that they're both definitely crying and they aren't entirely certain why.

It's been a long time coming, that's for sure. And they're still going to have a lot to talk about; and argue about. But it's a start. And they need it; both of them. Desperately.

And how can Catalina hate the girl, anyway? She was only one in a long, long line of women. She can't exactly hold it against her. If nothing else, her reading has assured her that, had it not been for Bessie, Henry would only have found some other woman to be unfaithful with. It had never been about Bessie. It had always been him.

They don't know how much time passes, but they're interrupted by the entrance of someone new. And, without skipping a beat, they both shift away from each other lightning-fast. Even if they are beginning to make amends, they're both too prideful to let their vulnerability show for someone else.

"Oh. Sorry." The newcomer looks sheepish. Catalina shifts awkwardly.

The new woman is shorter than Catalina, and her curly dark hair is piled on top of her head. Her head is tilted slightly, as she analyses the situation.

A hand is outstretched towards her. Catalina takes it.

"Cathy. Cathy Parr." She gives a slightly uneasy smile, as she tries to lighten the mood.

-----

Christ. She's only just got here and she's already made a mess of it. She's never been the best at social interactions. Heated discussions? Yes. She could convince someone that the sky was green, with enough effort. But introductions, and everyday conversation?

She has the urge to dive out of a window.

"Catherine of Aragon." The taller woman replies. Cathy smiles, though she's still reeling with her fight-or-flight instinct.

"Ah! My namesake, then."

"Yeah." The other woman smiles back, but the energy between them is still awkward.

Cathy is incredibly curious about the other woman; she has a million questions she wants to ask, but she doesn't know where to start, and she doesn't want to overstep the boundary between them.

She doesn't know her, after all. She's a stranger, despite being her Goddaughter. There's a bit of something in her—the part that's still a young girl—that wants to reach out. To create that kind of bond between them, but Cathy had never been good at that sort of thing. So she doesn't; not yet, at least.

"Bessie Blount." Says the other woman, who until now had been giving the others the chance to acquaint themselves.

"You're here too?"

"A few of us, yeah. No idea how."

"That's odd."

"All of this is incredibly odd." Catalina cuts in.

There's still an awkward tension between the other two, which Cathy hopes not to find herself in the middle of.

"You're not wrong." Bessie concedes.

Slowly, the silence between them returns. Cathy wants to break it, but she isn't sure what to say. She wants this to be her chance. It's not every day you come back to life. Cathy has to believe that it's happening for a reason, and she wants to seize the opportunity. Why can't she do it? The more she tries to force herself to reach out, the larger the distance between them seems to become.

What was she thinking anyway? Catalina is just a stranger to her and she's going to want rid of her just as much as Bessie.

"Did you guys do any reading last night?" Stupid. It's not exactly the most novel way to continue the conversation, and both of the other women look a little uncomfortable. The moments before a response are excruciatingly long.

"A little yeah." Catalina's voice is sombre. "Nothing I wanted to know though." There's something broken in her tone, and it doesn't take much for Cathy to figure out what's gotten to her like that. And there's nothing Cathy can do to alleviate that.

Of course Catalina won't want her to be any kind of Goddaughter. She'd only be some pathetic imitation of what she'd lost. An insult to any positive memory she had left.

"No." Cathy replies, her voice conveying more hurt than she intended. "Me neither."

They fall into uncomfortable silence again, and Cathy mentally kicks herself. She prays that someone else gets here soon to relieve this discomfort between them all. Cathy had come here ready to be a mediator between a group of women she expected would be all too ready to fight each other. But there doesn't seem to be much fight left in them so far.

[helloalycia]

almost [one] // carol danvers

summary: you've always had something for Carol and one night, both of your feelings come to light after hanging out and reminiscing on old times.

warning/s: none.

two | three | masterlist

"Don't even think about it," I mumbled, earning a sigh of defeat from behind me.

"I told you it wouldn't work," Maria chuckled.

I turned around and saw Carol and Maria walking towards me with their helmets balanced under their arm. Maria was watching Carol's defeated expression with amusement and I cracked a smile at her adorableness.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to jump-scare the person who is fixing a plane engine? The same plane you'll be flying in a few weeks?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow as I met Carol's brown eyes.

Her defeated expression transformed into a grin as she patted me on the shoulder. "I know nothing will go wrong when you're the mechanic fixing it up."

I rolled my eyes playfully and got back to what I was doing in hopes of hiding the blush I could feel heating up my cheeks.

"We did come here for a reason," Maria said, nudging Carol in the side playfully. "This one just doesn't know when to stop."

Carol laughed and I suppressed a smile at how happy she looked.

"We were wondering if you wanna join us for drinks tonight," Maria said with a smile. "I've got my parents to babysit Monica until nine, so we have a few hours after work to unwind. What d'you say?"

I stood up and wiped the grease from my hands on my cloth. "I don't know... What if the arseholes are there?" I was referring to the male majority of our team – the ones who looked down on Carol, Maria and I because we were 'women in a men's world'.

"Don't worry about that, Y/N, we'll just ignore them – sit in a corner or something. C'mon, it won't be the same without you," Carol tried to convince me, smiling at me hopefully.

She knew I couldn't resist her ask – I would literally do anything she wanted me to. So when I sighed and glared at her, she grinned and fist-pumped like a little nerd.

"I'll see you guys in a few hours, but right now, I need to actually get some work done," I said knowingly, but they were both smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile in return.

---

"Over here," Maria said, leading Carol and I to a booth in the corner, away fro-

"Hey! Look who it is, everyone!" the arrogant arse known as Tom yelled obnoxiously.

"So much for ignoring them," I mumbled to myself, following the others.

"You girls come for a drink after a long, hard day of doing nothing?" Tom continued to mock, earning laughs from his colleagues.

We ignored them as we tried to reach our booth, but of course they tried to intimidate us by giving us a narrowed path to cross.

"Hey, Tom, are you always this much of an idiot? Or do you just show off when we're around?" Carol said with a cheeky grin, watching Tom's face drop with offence. A few of his friends snickered and I couldn't help but bite my lip to suppress an oncoming laugh.

Carol looked over her shoulder and winked playfully, making my stomach flutter with butterflies, before grabbing my hand and leading me to our booth, following Maria as she sat down.

"One day that humour of yours is going to get you into trouble, Danvers," Maria said, though she was smiling with amusement.

"Can't wait," she said confidently, smiling widely at Maria.

We spent an hour of our time simply chatting and having a few drinks between us, enjoying the break we had from work. It did get a little difficult since the guys were still a few booths down, scattered all over the bar and surrounding tables and acting like idiots, but we managed to try and pretend they weren't there.

When it got to a point where we couldn't even get a game of pool in without them mocking us, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

"I heard through the grapevine that Tom and Grady have been arguing lately – something to do with one of their girlfriends flirting with the other guy or something," I shared to the girls with a suppressed smile.

"And you're telling us this because...?" Maria questioned, exchanging confused glances with Carol.

I grabbed a peanut from the tray on our table and lined myself up with Tom's head a few tables down. "Because you need context for when I get the guys kicked out of here in less than two minutes."

Both girls subtly looked over their shoulders to see what I was looking at, and Carol finally caught on, looking back to me with a challenging smirk.

"I dare you."

I smiled back at her innocently. "No need."

I focused on Tom's head carefully before throwing the peanut directly at his face. He flinched when it hit him on the cheek and patted his face before spotting the nut on the table. I contained my laughter as he tried to piece together what happened before seeing Grady sat in front of him, eating from the tray of nuts on their table. Grady was distracted by a conversation he was having with one of the other guys, but Tom was already accusing him.

"Are you serious? You're gonna hit me with a peanut? You think that's funny?!"

"What are you, five? Why would I throw a peanut at your head?" Grady's voice was rising with anger as Tom glared at him.

"I thought we were good after everything that happened, but obviously you're still acting like an arsehole!" Tom yelled back, standing up and slamming his hands on the table, getting everyone's attention.

"Wait for it," I whispered, watching the fight about to take place, as Carol and Maria held their laughter in.

"What did you just call me?!" Grady stood up, too, his chair knocking to the floor behind him.

"An arseho–"

But Grady had already punched Tom in the jaw before he could finish, making the girls and I flinch, feeling the pain from here.

At this point, the two were in a hand-to-hand brawl, with their friends trying to break them up, but it seemed to be getting them nowhere.

"Out of here! All of you! Now!" the bartender came round from the bar and dragged them out himself. "I don't tolerate fighting in my establishment, arseholes!"

When they had all left, the rest of the people in the bar were quiet with anticipation. Meanwhile, Carol, Maria and I were laughing our heads off at what just went down.

"You are actually a genius," Carol complimented, raising her glass. "To Y/N!"

Maria raised hers too and they both stared at me expectantly, leaving me no choice but to also raise mine and clink my glass with theirs.

After that, the three of us could actually enjoy our time together without having to put up with sarky comments in the background. We were having so much fun that when it was nearing nine, we were sad to have to part ways.

"Look, I don't wanna be the party pooper, so you guys stay and I'm gonna head home," Maria compromised after we tried to convince her to stay.

"You sure?" Carol asked.

Maria nodded as she put her jacket on. "You got your key, right?" Carol nodded. "Awesome. I'm sure Y/N won't mind giving you a ride back when you're done for the night."

Carol and Maria looked to me with hopeful expressions and I rolled my eyes at the fact that they even needed to ask.

"When have I ever said no to giving you a lift?" I asked Carol with a knowing look.

Carol pretended to think before countering with, "Perhaps that time when you drove off when I was in the bathroom and you were supposed to be my ride?"

I snickered at the memory. "To be fair, I completely forgot you were still here. And I came back!"

Carol rolled her eyes jokingly as Maria shook her head judgementally.

"You," she pointed to me, "don't forget about her, and you," she pointed to Carol, "don't make too much noise when you get back later. I don't want you waking Monica."

"Aye, aye, captain," Carol said with a salute, winding Maria up.

"God help me...," Maria mumbled, before walking away with our giggles sounding around her.

When Maria left the bar, Carol turned back to face me with a devious smile on her face.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She didn't break eye contact as we both shouted: "Ice cream!"

Our childish grins mirrored each other as we both stood up to leave.

"After you, m'lady." She motioned for me to walk first.

I was unable to lose my smile as I walked ahead, feeling her presence behind me. We both got to my car and I drove us to the nearby ice cream parlour, AKA the one we frequented quite a bit.

We chose our flavours and paid before taking a seat on one of the tables. It wasn't too busy this evening, so there was no need to be wary of certain people coming to ruin the fun.

"I'm curious," Carol said, and I looked to see her eyeing me mysteriously behind her ice cream cone.

I quirked an eyebrow. "About...?"

She sat up straight and eagerly leaned on the table, a devious smile on her lips. "What was your first impression of me when we first met?"

I breathed out and sat back in my seat, smiling nostalgically. "Wow... when was that – two years ago?" I thought carefully as I said, "It was when Dr. Lawson was setting up our team to help her test her work. I was in the hangar with her and Maria. Maria and I had just met... yeah, and then you walked in."

I bit my lip as I remembered seeing Carol for the first time. She walked in, light on her feet with excitement. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was wearing her signature bomber jacket and denim jeans. I had never seen someone's smile radiate that much energy and I remembered thinking how beautiful she was.

"And...?" Carol pressed, a pursed smile on her face.

I chuckled. "You walked in and you must have been really excited to be there because you just couldn't stand still. Dr. Lawson introduced you and you gave us all a nervous but eager wave. Almost poked your own eye out."

"Oh, god... did I really?" Carol's cheeks heated up with embarrassment, but she was smiling through it.

"I thought you seemed nice enough. You were definitely determined – anyone in the room could see it," I continued, reminiscing happily. "You were the perfect addition to our little team."

Carol stared at me, her gaze softening. "Thanks, Y/N..."

I felt frozen in place, in a good way. Her eyes looked golden as they kept their hold on me, making me forget where I was, what I was doing. Just like that first day, something stirred inside of me.

"You know, I thought that I was late to the party when I walked into the hangar," she suddenly said, a small smile on her lips. "I saw you all and thought you'd all bonded or something without me."

I laughed as she licked around her ice cream cone to stop it dripping before continuing.

"You looked friendly though," she added confidently. "I remember thinking that I couldn't wait to work with you, especially because I was told you were a mechanic and I thought that was really cool."

"Really?" I asked, eyes wide teasingly. "You've never told me that you thought that."

She rolled her eyes and licked her ice cream, trying to draw attention away from her red cheeks.

"You had a really pretty smile," I blurted, catching her attention. I licked my lips and decided to keep going with it, even though I regretted telling her. "I mean, you still do, but yeah. You wouldn't stop smiling when we were introduced and I thought it was really..."

"Pretty," she repeated.

I smiled. "Yeah."

A momentary silence developed between us, but it felt different. Like uncharted territory between us and our friendship. She avoided my eyes, eating her ice cream, and I did the same. But somehow, we both remained smiling to ourselves. I knew why I was, but I wondered why she was, too.

---

"I had fun tonight," Carol said as we pulled up outside of Maria's house.

"Me, too," I replied, turning to look at her, and she was already smiling my way.

She looked beautiful and I had a sudden urge to lean forward and kiss her. But I knew I couldn't, shouldn't. So instead I cleared my throat and broke eye contact.

"You should get inside...," I said, instantly regretting it. I didn't want her to leave.

Carol pressed her lips together, looking down at her lap. She nodded and said, "Yeah. Thanks for the ride."

I watched as she jumped out of my car and waved to me as she went to the front door. I was about to set off and leave, but I realised she had forgotten the ice cream we had bought for Monica.

"Carol!" I shouted quietly from my rolled down window, getting her attention. I grabbed the ice cream and went to Carol, making her realise what was wrong as she saw the ice cream in my hand.  

"The ice cream," she said pointedly, a smile on her lips.

"The ice cream," I confirmed, handing it to her.

She accepted it and then searched for her key. I watched with amusement as she patted down her pocket for a good minute, before finally pulling her key out of her inner jacket pocket.

"You good?" I chuckled quietly.

She nodded, playfully rolling her eyes. "Thanks again for the ride, Y/N."

I gave her a smile, meeting her sparkling brown eyes. I tried to ignore how good she looked under the stars tonight. "Anytime."

Her signature smile was on her lips as she pulled me in for a hug. I accepted the embrace, letting her wrap her arms around my shoulders as I did so with her waist. She was warm and comfortable and I found myself smiling contently.

I knew I had to pull away eventually, so I reluctantly did. I offered a small smile as I attempted to step back, but Carol had pulled me back towards her again, this time pressing her lips against mine.

I didn't really think about it as it was happening – I kinda just kissed back, enjoying the feeling of being this close to her. It had been a long time coming and her lips moving against mine drove me crazy. She was still holding the ice cream – I could feel the chill of it against my back as she held me in place. I had my arms wrapped around her, not wanting to let go. This was almost too good to be true.

The porch light switching on was what made us jump apart from each other, acting as if we hadn't just made out in front of Maria's house. Speaking of Maria...

"Damn it, Danvers, I thought I told you to be quiet when you came back," Maria chastised, yawning soon after as she hung by the doorway.

I caught my breath and managed to risk looking at Carol, feeling my cheeks heat up at the thought of being close to her only a moment before.

"Sorry, I was just heading in now," she apologised to Maria, before glancing at me. A heartwarming smile was on her lips as she nodded my way. "I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N."

My lips twitched into a smile, suppressing so many emotions I was feeling now. "Er, yeah. Tomorrow. Goodnight." I cleared my throat, looking to Maria. "Both of you."

Maria was too tired to notice anything different between Carol and I, so she went back inside, followed by Carol who waved goodbye to me before closing the door behind her. I headed back to my car calmly before sitting in the driver's seat and taking a moment to catch up.

Carol kissed me.

I grinned as I drove home, unable to wait for what the following day had to offer.

---

The next morning, I didn't get chance to greet Maria or Carol because Dr. Lawson had a list of things for me to work on. I got cracking on the list as soon as she asked, but I was still impatient about seeing Carol. Would she change her mind? Realise I wasn't what she wanted after all? Would she pretend like it didn't happen?

I hated having those negative thoughts, but I couldn't help it. The longer I waited, the more I worried. Second-guessed everything. I mean, did we even kiss last night or did I imagine it?

But I couldn't have imagined the butterflies swirling a storm in my stomach as she pulled me close to her, or the tingling on my lips as she pressed hers against mine. Impossible.

I was closing the panel on the jet I was working on when I heard my name being called from behind.

"Yeah? Oh, Carol... hey." I smiled nervously, setting down my spanner as she approached me with a grin. She was alone, but in her overalls. She must have just finished a test flight.

I expected her to say something to me when she reached me, but once again, she took me by surprise as she leaned forward and kissed me. I felt my back hit the jet, but that didn't stop her as she had one hand on my waist and the other cupping my cheek. I managed to hook my fingers through the belt loops of her overalls and keep ahold of her waist as I returned the kiss.

This one was different to last night – she was more confident, desperate, excited. Yet at the same time, she was gentle, caring, careful.

Eventually, we had to pull apart for air, but that was fine as when we took a small step back, I found myself grinning back, my head fuzzy and my heart warm.

"I'm really hoping nobody walked in whilst I did that," she breathed out, making me laugh. She glanced over her shoulder before nodding with confirmation. "We're good."

"Carol..." I contained my happiness in a suppressed smile as I rested my hand on her chest, pushing her away gently. "We need to talk about this obviously."

She nodded in agreement, a grin still on her lips. "Right, yeah. That's why I came here. But then I saw you working and I remembered last night and I just really wanted to kiss you again."

I rubbed my forehead, glancing down at my shoes as I tried to hide my embarrassment.

"Don't do that because I might end up kissing you a third time," she admitted sheepishly.

I met her gaze and tried to be stern, but her warm brown eyes made me melt on the spot. She was looking at me a certain way, a look I hadn't noticed before. Probably the same way I had been looking at her.

"We need to talk," I got out without stuttering.

She nodded, pursing her lips. "Okay. Well, I guess all I have to say is that I like you a lot and I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I thought if I played this out long enough, I could get over you. Anything to keep you in my life, even as a friend. But last night... we had fun and I realised I want that to be like always. I really want to be with you."

I breathed out slowly, feeling my heart rate pick up. "I– wow."

Carol seemed momentarily nervous. "That's what you wanted to hear, right? Otherwise this whole thing is going to be very awkward."

I shoved her in the shoulder gently, chuckling. "Of course it is, Carol. That's the thing. It's exactly what I wanted to hear."

She stepped forward, lessening the gap between us. "So, you wanna try this? Us? It doesn't have to be a big thing if you don't want it to be. Only we have to know. And Maria if you want her to."

I opened my mouth to speak. I was trying to agree with her, but she made me feel nervous because of how close she was. It didn't help that I could feel her breath tickling my skin and she was giving me that flirty smile she always did whenever she knew she was right.

"You're not answering," she pointed out, moving closer and closer. Her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. "It's completely up to you, Y/N. There's no hard feelings if you just want to be friends."

I licked my lips as I looked at hers.

"Though being friends would definitely be strange from now on," she argued jokingly.

I looked to her eyes and saw she was staring right at me. I could see she wanted this and it reassured me that I wasn't alone. This wasn't wrong. So, I nodded.

"I want this," I agreed. "I want us."

Despite how confident she was coming across, I could see the relief flood her expression as she smiled at me.

"Well, there's only one way to seal this deal," she whispered, glancing up at me.

I waited for her to lean forward, but she suddenly pulled back and extended her arm. "A good ole' handshake!"

I raised both of my eyebrows and shoved her in the shoulder, harder than before.

"Are you kidding me?!" I asked with disbelief, partially embarrassed for falling for that so fast.

Her laughter echoed all around us as she watched me. She glanced over her shoulder before grabbing my hand and yanking me towards her. Her arms hugged my waist as she pressed a quick yet gentle kiss to my lips. I saw her look down at me with a picture-perfect smile and adoring eyes.

"I think we made the right choice," she said confidently.

I smiled up at her. "I do, too."

[cantusecho-archive]

(I know I was supposed to do a recap for episode 13 but I’ve been stuck in how to put my emotions into words, so I’ll just make this post instead. ♥

I actually don’t even know why I’m making this because I still don’t know how to put my feelings into words about anything haha.

Let me start off with...I’ll miss Symphogear. I’m glad it’s over, but I know I’ll miss it.

It’s a complicated feeling of feeling glad that a show you love ended before it could be dragged out unnecessarily for sales and whatnot at the cost for the story.

There are times I just can’t help but try and explain why the show means a lot to me but I think it’s impossible. I’ve been watching this show live since 2013 when G aired, me and my friend have always watched it together. There were a lot of bumps along the way, but it’s made it so much more fun with her alongside me.

That’s possibly why it’s hard for me to lose motivation for Hibiki because even when we had those two year gap waits for each season, we were still writing with each other and making up our own stories. It’s been super fun. We’re still doing it even now that the show is over.

It’s brought us closer as friends, and that’s something I attribute to why I love the show even moreso. It’s just really hard to explain.

I always tell people that it’s not perfect because nothing is. But I still managed to find enjoyment in it because there were far more good things to me that outweighed the bad. That’s not me ignoring the problems of course, I just choose not to dwell on them because there’s nothing we can do to change them. Well, except writing I suppose, haha.

Point is, I knew that going into episode 13 that something would be rushed. My friend and I figured that the Shem-Ha fight would be the first half while the conclusion, technically would be the second half and that’s how it ended up being. Regardless of that though, I’m satisfied with the way it ended.

I’m content with it and it felt as if everything came full circle for the story and its characters.

And that’s all I can really say; that I’m content with how things ended. 

I’ve been seeing people say they feel empty or sad because there’s no more waiting for Symphogear, at least for the main series. We still have the OVAs to come out on the blu rays, plus new songs, which lasts until March. Plus even two new songs on the sixth blu ray that haven’t even been announced yet and the upcoming Live! And the game continuing, I’m certain. So there’s still side content to come.

But back to the main point; I understand why some people might feel sad but oddly, I don’t. I say this in a way that I’m happy I got into the show. I’m satisfied with the way it ended and I’m thrilled for what the show has given me over these past 7 years. I think all that amounts much more than it ending.

All those memories and these lovable characters is what prevents me from being sad, I think. If I make any sort of sense, haha.

The final season was enjoyable to me; Carol coming back, and getting songs?! was the best part. She got her own song, and then sang with the others which isn’t what I was expecting. They spoiled us with some fantastic Carol content haha.

But again, I’m happy about how far everyone has come as characters too.

Tsubasa had it rough this season but she was strong and still shooting for her dreams.

Chris was super supportive to everyone, specifically Hibiki, this season and I think that shows how much she’s grown as a character where she’s not bogged down by her past anymore. She found her place, her home, where she belongs, and she is content and happy where her life is now.

Hibiki, as Aoi said, also was strong this season. She’s gotten more mature over the years and handled things much differently compared to what she may have done in previous seasons. It was great to see, and one thing that Hibiki always fell short on was admitting her feelings and she was much more open with them, even back in AXZ she was too.

Speaking of feelings, Miku was also more open as well. Granted she was possessed a big majority of the season, but I feel like most people just glance over her development anyway. She’s had some, in my opinion, over the years even if it wasn’t in your face. And to have her come back in the end, after being possessed for so long, to help everyone out immediately just shows how strong of a person she is.

Kirika and Shirabe have been pretty stable since their arcs in AXZ. It’s been clear that these two are more confident in themselves as well and try helping out the adults from time to time when things go haywire haha.

Maria is also in a very good place. She’s been able to accept herself and her faults, not attempting to be anyone she’s not. She was focused on attempting to help Tsubasa through her struggles this season, perhaps knowing how it feels to be in such a position (since she kind of was back in G) and now she can look back on Serena fondly as well.

I think everyone’s B-Songs for this season also show their growth. 

Hibiki opens up about her feelings, being vulnerable and honest about how she feels about the person that’s most closest to her.

Tsubasa sings a heart-felt song to her father, saying she’ll continue living on with the name he gave her, and not as a sword.

Chris speaks about her future and how she’s managed to live through everything that was painful and now she has a place where she belongs and loves.

Kirika opens up about her birthday arc back in AXZ and explains how she used to feel compared to all the other kids and people she knew that knew about their birthdays or at least had some sort of remnant of their past unlike herself. But she loves her life now, and so despite not knowing her true birthday, she says that “every day is her birthday”.

Shirabe also talks about how she doesn’t know where she’s from but she doesn’t need to know because Kirika and everyone else is her family now and that’s all she wants.

And then Maria speaks about Serena, her personal feelings when it comes to her little sister, and saying that she’ll continue onward for the both of them. Saying she’ll keep that silver light and keep her sister’s legacy alive.

It’s just a lot to put in perspective with all these songs when you consider where everyone has come since the beginning. It’s a lot, at least to me.

I’d like to talk about Miku, but I’m not sure if one of the songs is hers or not. I’m hoping it is so I can talk about how much she’s grown too or what the song may end up giving us, haha. I’ll just do that on my other blog though, I suppose.

Anyway, point is, I’ve enjoyed this journey a lot.

Though I suppose after everything comes out, I won’t have a lot to talk about, at least in terms of the show itself.

I’m not really sure who enjoyed these random ooc posts of mine, since I still feel like I be intruding my feelings on the dash, or maybe some peeps don’t care which is fine, but I felt like I had to get them out.

Thanks for putting up with all these over the years.

It may be over, but I still look forward to writing and exploring even more with everyone! Hibiki means too much to me to just abandon just because the show is over, haha. 

So really, thanks to you all for following and interacting with me. I wouldn’t be here without any of you. ♥

This whole post is a mess, I’m done. Lmao.)