#well that was fucking harrowing
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Shower thoughts (Intrusive Edition)
#well that was fucking harrowing#'[Abhorrent absolutely vile thought like oh my god couldn't it be about killing people or self-harm or something]#'Man why do we keep having those specific thoughts. there must be something wrong with me. you can't let anyone find out ever.-#-it's probably your own fault. it usually is. it always is. hey remember how you wish the thoughts were about self harm what if we-#-no we sadly don't have the pain tolerance for self-harm' <-(This one in particular made me laugh for a bit)#*Exits shower* *Picks up phone*#'^_^; what was I thinking about again?'#I managed to get back into the spiral writing this post and I had the absolutely AMAZING thought of#'Oh that's good I don't think I deserve to get out of that spiral just yet'#LIKE WHAT. EXCUSE ME? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???#anyways. I will carry on like usual <-(feels like throwing up)
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the pool scene
#the locked tomb#tlt#griddlehark#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#tlt art#tlt fanart#comic#apologies for how wonky it looks in some parts#um i spent like five days working on this nonstop#well not nonstop i ate a shit ton of pomegranetes or however its spelled during it#but uhm yeah#im not good at drawing backgrounds or anatomy (YET) so hhuhshsu#anyways yah yeepers when will i get to have a homoerotic moment with my former rival/enemy where i get to show them forgiveness and care#gideon wants to kiss harrow on the lips so bad its so fucking funny#harrow is a whole pathetic looking sopping wet kitten and gideon is like ooh yah thats the stuff#anwyas yah#ill post the version without their skull makeup because i like that one more#the skull makeup looks ugly sometimes (BY MY OWN DESIGN!!!! HARROW QUEEN I WILL NEVER DISS YOUR FASHION <4)#ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE PACING BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT DRAWING TWELVE PAGES OF A COMIC CAN MAKE YOU REALLY MESSED UP IN THE HEAD#hatman is in the corner of ym room rn
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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i swear i am normal about him
#buckshot roulette#buckshot roulette dealer#buckshot roulette fanart#the dealer#dealer buckshot roulette#doodle post#doodle dump#i wasn't just gonna leave it at one illustration obviously. but i was kinda planning to draw an attack today..................#i am. well aware of the audience the dealer has and finding out i technically am part of it was both Very Funny and Harrowing. Fucking Oops
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my hot take that will get me screenshotted by 2-3 ianthe bloggers is that griddlehark is actually more toxic than harrianthe. when you think about it both parties can Leave harrianthe eventually even if they'd still have to see each other. The power imbalance just isn't that severe. and I don't even think ianthe wants it to be. I think SHE thinks she wants it to be a sexy power imbalance but when it comes down to it and the moment arrives when harrow would fuck her out of desperation to be safe, ianthe turns away. She doesn't want harrow that way. She wants harrow to forget Gideon so they can be lyctors together forever. She wants to mutually maim each other. I think it's even consensual maiming. harrow broke one of gideon's ribs when gideon tried to leave her!
#i do like harrianthe but it just doesn't quite have the same flavor now does it#< to be clear i am enjoying the fucked up power dynamic i think it would be hot for it to get reversed in atn too#something about harrow having to put herself at gideon's mercy after years of locking her up on the ninth is well. hm.#i think gideon could have been a little meaner about it. if she had wanted.#i understand she has the disease where she's obsessed with getting love the one place it's been withheld for the longest#but she could have taken a LITTLE revenge#well there's still time#anyway.
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Currently obsessed with the concept of mutual and acknowledged hanahaki. Like two people who both have hanahaki for each other, and who both know about it, who both know that the other loves them and still aren’t cured.
The flowers stay, not because their love isn’t reciprocated, but because they don’t belive in it, or because its temporary, because the other deserves better, because they have complicated history, because they both already have significant others, perhaps the love isn’t enough because they both can’t put that love first, maybe their ideals and lotalties come first for both. Its not unrequited love, but its not quite enough.
just kinda love the image of two lovers-but-not-yet-maybe-never-lovers sitting together, picking flowers out of each other’s throats.
#read approximately 200 zosan fics and this is the result#also this is just the entirety of the second half of Little Mushroom#Where they’re like Damn I love you so fucking much#unfortunately I simply cannot give up my ideals and self for this love and I know you can’t either and I live you for it#Its very griddlehark as well#OH AS SOOO CORONA IANTHE SISTER THINGS#hanahaki in a platonic sense for that one#omg actually its sooo isolde/kakania too#all my favourite things will fig jnto thix new thing im obsessed with anc you can fo nothing to stop mr#headcanon#reverse 1999#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#little mushroom#one piece#griddlehark#zosan
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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it
we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON
#my stuff#my art#these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience#i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good#sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it#so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life#and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice#BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories#so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet#on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps#or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming)#so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative#and inviting#in a provocative way#im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING#AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it#oghey bye
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Ideal Squad
weirdo meta-narrative man with good intentions and more control over his friends than is a good idea. wears weird fucking headgear that is notable and inherent to his design.
bitchy socialite bisexual with familial issues who ultimately does the right thing
repressed insanegirl with extensive anatomical knowledge and the cuntiest comebacks of all time
good dog. best friend. folk hero who is the loyalest guy ever with occasional bad taste in who to be loyal to, penchant for violence. even a redhead! very notably intertwined with his childhood best friend, meta-narrative man.
also the first three are all fucking
#ive posted this so many times on discord and felt like the world deserved a taste#the locked tomb#riverdale#jughead jones#john gaius#veronica lodge#augustine quinque#betty cooper#mercymorn cristabel#archie andrews#gideon the first#g1deon#mercymorn the first#augustine the first#sorry for this one#they're all fucking but the combinations are weird for both polycules so i didnt know how to explain it well#rvd#tlt#harrow the ninth#htn
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Fanime day 2!
Harrowhark- me
The most perfect Gideon ever- @bawdyknocker
Harrow vestige design (immediately marred by my traitorous watering eye) - @sleepysnailart
#the locked tomb#the locked tomb cosplay#Gideon the ninth#Gideon nav cosplay#Harrowhark nonagesimus cosplay#shadow stuff#her usual vestige is too complex for me to make look super good but this design is a great mixture of simple enough for me to do well#and complicated enough to look harrow appropriate#except then my eye watered so bad fucking immediately and ruined it#ffs maybe the greasepaint was better at least it wouldn’t have done THAT#doesn’t Brie look so good!!#the sword#the knuckle knives#the keys#the contacts#the shades#the muscles?!?#😘#also not to sound too humble but I’m very pleased with mine too#I was proud of my cape and ribcage and I had way better jewelry this time too#I just wish she hadn’t forgotten the best part of her knuckle knives in that first pic but it’s otherwise my fave picture of the weekend#I’m sad we didn’t get any of us together that weren’t selfies#but we did have a paid shoot and I will run here immediately when I get the pics back
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dios apate, mother
#the background is WACKKK I was distracted by this weeks CR episode okay. I just finished it and I’m floored. fucking FLOORED!!!!!!!#if cr3 and tlt were crossed over wake and otohan would be chaos wives.#LAUDNA AND HARROW BEING BONE BESTIES????? ARE U KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#anyway. Irish wake be upon ye#tlt#the locked tomb#awake remembrance of these valiant dead#commander wake#Gideon nav#(by proxy)#(she’s technically cooking in the womb)#(you can’t see the belly very well tho)
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okay to be SO fucking for real about it? just now realized. there's definitely a lot of different reasons kiriona's named what she is. but firstly and foremostly can you IMAGINE how the houses would react if they knew god's heir was SOME RANDO FROM THE NINTH?? well. not so good it doesn't seem!
#well actually i think like. there are so many parts.#firstly the lyctors og names were forgotten#it's a whole thing etc mercy's like#do NOT tell the babies my name#so on so forth#and so that would bring gideon's name back into view#secondly. can you imagine the kind of scrutiny that would bring to the ninth?#whether or not god believed harrow about the tomb being open he probably would nooot want to chance all that#thirdly having a child clearly Of The Houses would lead everyone to be like what the actual fuck john why do you have a human baby and#also with WHO??? ninth's old af and also mostly corpses!"#fourthly. and i want to reread nona to figure out what's up with this.#if he let her keep her house name and TITLE it would have exposed the fact that the literal#daughter of god. is not a necromancer???#wild. anyways.#9#nona the ninth#nona the ninth spoilers#gideon the ninth spoilers#harrow the ninth spoilers#kiriona gaia#remy dont read this post#REMY NO
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wip because this definitely isn't coming out in days
when you see my harrow happy you know what im gonna do with him
#or him to himself#mostly the latter#he literally only has one image to me i can't even come up with any other more proper stuff for him to do lol#i mean. i did. but everything would still end up like this#also yes this is a fucking 10 page comics#with how each page is more like a standalone illustration on its own than a comic page i highly doubt if im even gonna finish this#warframe#warframe harrow#(yeah might as well tag him i enjoyed drawing him as much as i enjoy drawing gabriel)#ramble
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im so normal about them
#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#the locked tomb art#its so#theyre so#and im so#and the spikes are so#heehhee#i didnt read the other books yet just gideon so please dont tell me something horrible like uhm idk something crazy like gideon dying or#whatver#this took me so long to finish i got stuck in another country in the middle of it so that was a bit of an inconvienience#also im ngl i dont understand the scenery in some scenes too well from just the first read#and also waht the fuck the doors thing is all about#but ill figure it out <3#eventually <3#griddlehark
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g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
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inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth
#“rori all of these are your faves how can there be a bad answer” well I still have an internal ranking on some of these#and if all of you pick an option that I think pales in comparison to the others. well. hm#I know what's gonna sweep though because two of these are niche as hell and 4 maybe 5 of these are things you people don't follow me for#fun fact I actually had to scrape my brain to make sure I couldn't come up with any more#I am unintentionally very picky on what is a favorite apparentlyyyy#I also just don't watch/read enough stuff these days so there's that#AND I NEED LONG TERM EXPOSURE TO KNOW THEY'RE STICKING AROUND#so like. I have some options but I don't KNOWWW if they're sticking yet#but this feels like such a small poll lmao#also no sapphics on here this is actually cause I hate women-#NO. JOKING. zelink is here. I almost put gideon and harrow but I'm in a perpetual state of not having finished tlt#and I couldn't put nebetta and darya I was drawing the line at 2 tbos ships. well. actually. changed my mind#not editing these tags actually you guys can see my thought process#WAIT AND SAYMARI. FUCK. I LITERALLY MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THEM I LOVE THEMMM#ok. is 4 tbos ships too many. hmm#I said 2 of these are niche now four of these are niche it's really the “which tbos pairing is your fave” poll#THIS POLL IS SO FUNNY IT'S SO SELF INDULGENT I HAVE TO TAKE OUT AT LEAST ONE TBOS SHIP#I should add one more general one...#cause I do actually want genuine and varied answers I gotta give y'all options so they don't all pool at the first two#I also almost put ellie and abby on here.. that would've been so funny four popular 1 rarepair 3 super niche ships#ellie and abby are soooo interesting to me though so of course the thought of them having something horrible going on together compels me#and they are one of my 3 favorited ao3 tags... they deserve a place...#ok well while I debate on that I'm putting akutagawa and atsushi on here I admittedly have only had like two months of exposure to them#but it is enough I can tell they are so crazy to me#the way my tags are just me overthinking everything on what is supposed to be a fun and silly poll... no one does it like me I'm afraid
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The worst crime a version of Jekyll and Hyde can commit is be unappealing. If you aren’t anticipating the next scene no matter how unpleasant it will be then it has failed.
#one of the easiest ways to make it unappealing is make one of them annoying as fuck which is what tgs does to hyde#unpleasant as he was 31!hyde had me wanting to see more scenes with him even if they were revolting and harrowing to watch#because he was well-written and well-rounded and you could tell there was a twisted logic to what he did#all I could get out of tgs!hyde is ‘jekylls annoying little brother that doesn’t like him and farts on his hand and holds it to his face’#like even when I read and liked the comic I was like……. so when is he going to become compelling?#he never did suffice to say#I never got to see the so-called ‘depth’ of the character the fans yap about because by separating him from jekyll you’re denying him depth#suddenly he’s not a psychosexual reading of jekyll but -again- his annoying little brother that always gets away with petty crimes#you’ve typecast him as THAT which is way less interesting than older adaptations do#as much as I like to see hyde be morally complex I also want him to be acknowledged as an intelligent mature adult#even if a very fucked up and emotionally stunted one#not to mention tgs has influenced the fandom for the worse and now it’s hard to find hyde content that doesn’t paint him as it does:#an annoying little brother figure that is more aggravating than disturbing. an unappealing husk#and like. are you aware of how DIFFICULT it is to make THE Mr Hyde unappealing? uncharming? uninteresting?#and yet. and yet.
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