#.like yaaaay they noticed!! but jesus fuck if they noticed how bad am i actually????

[dreamerdrop]

Well, I definitely have the autism.

My developmental delays are apparently worse than my initial diagnosis suggested. A lot worse.

So that’s fun.

[merinnan]

DMBJ Ep 5

We start episode 5 with the Xiaoge Rescue Count at 6 for Wu Xie, and 7 total.

- Pangzi just sitting there eating while they go to dig an evil bug out of A-Ning 

- A-Ning is luckier than Pan Zi, though, having it in her leg rather than in her gut 

- Should I consider this part of the Xiaoge Rescue Count? Technically he is saving A-Ning here, but does she count?

- Fuck it. There's now 3 Xiaoge Rescue Count categories: Wu Xie, the protagonists as a whole, and everyone 

- So the count is now 6 for Wu Xie, 7 for the protagonists, and 8 for everyone 

- That was a relatively painless bug removal. Probably helped that A-Ning was unconscious 

  - That's a large hole left in her thigh. Speaking from experience, standing & walking are not going to be fun for her for a LONG time. 

- But this is a cdrama, so she'll be fine within an ep or two 

- lol, I've never seen an unconscious person with this level of muscle control

- Wu Xie, you don't just wrap a bandage around a wound like that! Dress it first! 

- But, again, it's a TV show, so a bandage will be fine 

- JESUS CHRIST PANGZI 

- LOL, yes, shhhh, Pangzi. Shhhh. 

 - Pan Zi's looking a lot better this ep 

- ...what's wrong, Wu Xie?

- Aaaand he just passed out. 

- Xiaoge actually looks mildly disturbed. I think this is the second most amount of emotion we've seen from him so far 

- That looks like a nasty bite 

- Oh, we're just gonna...feed him blood. That's what we're going. 

- And it woke him up

- Okay, so Xiaoge Rescue Count is now 7 for Wu Xie, 8 for the protagonists, and 9 for everyone 

- Fortunately, Xiaoge hasn't lost as much blood as he did last time he used it for magic rescue purposes. Last thing they'd want is a comatose Xiaoge down here

- Everyone is just so chill whenever Xiaoge does weird stuff, it's great 

- Aaah, I was wondering how he'd been bitten, since I didn't remember a bug biting him. I forgot that A-Ning did 

- That's some odd poison if it got into her saliva just because she had a bug in her leg

- GDI Pangzi 

 - Of course the cure is in the tomb, and of course Xiaoge knows about it 

- LOL, there's a vaccine against the poison gas 

- Oooh, I was wondering when the dudes in the trees were gonna make their move. Poor Wu Xie's friend. He really would have been safer in the tomb, huh

- Hahah, why are the bad guys treating Wu Xie like the leader when he's just a uni student? 

- Ooh, who did that? 

 - Oh, Wu Xie's friend. Good boy. I mean, it was dumb, but brave. Now they can't use you against your friends. 

- Poor Wu Xie is so woozy he's not sure what happened

- Yeah, figured it was some more of A-Ning's friends 

- YOU LOSE CONTACT, & YOU LOSE CONTACT, & EVERYONE LOSES CONTACT! YAAAAY! 

- Get out before nightfall. Isn't that what Xiaoge said, too? 

- Yeah, abandoned in a forest at night doesn't sound like fun

- She should NOT be walking that well, although at least it is showing her limping and in pain instead of just okay 

- God, Pangzi, that was a dick move 

- And that was even more of one 

- Wow. I...don't really like this Pangzi. Those things he just did were actively cruel, even if she is an antagonist

- It's blocked? Yeah, ya think? 

- Oh, STFU Pangzi 

- Pan Zi looking at him like "I really regret not shooting you properly when I had the chance" 

- Xiaoge doing this "stab fingers STRAIGHT INTO MORTAR and remove the brick" trick again 

- The look on Pangzi's face is pure gold

- Had to pause watching for a sec to think about why I'm so mad at this Pangzi and more forgiving of Liu Sang in Chongqi. I think it's because Liu Sang intended to pull a prank. A mean prank, but he lacked the experience to understand that it was actively harmful and dangerous. It went wrong, and then he freaked because of that lack of experience and didn't know what to do/say until Xiaoge pushed him. And then he tried to help make up for it. Whereas this Pangzi did things that he knew would cause real physical pain to A-Ning and potentially worsen her injury just because he doesn't like her, and he doesn't seem to care or even give that a second thought, let alone look like he's going to apologise or try to make up for it. 

- OK, mini-rant over, back to the episode.

- Gratuitous Xiaoge side-profile pic just because

- And now Pangzi is gonna embarrass himself by trying & failing to be Xiaoge 

- YEAH CHENGCHENG I WONDER HOW THEY KNOW YOUR NAMES 

- Okay, I gotta stop to look up his name. I can't keep calling him Wu Xie's friend all the time

- High Shao. There we go

- High Shao is a good kid 

- A-Ning's eyeroll at Pangzi is my entire mood with his antics right now 

- Eyeroll from Wu Xie 

- Can't see Pan Zi's face, but his whole posture is basically an eye roll 

- Oh. Well. Huh. I did not expect Pangzi to actually manage to break the wall

- Judging by everyone's expressions, no-one else did, either 

- Oooh, something bad must be coming, Xiaoge is going on guard 

- Yep. Zombie dude is on his way 

- Yes, send the woman with the serious leg injury to go crawling through a tiny cave tunnel first. Brilliant idea, Wu Xie

- OK, I should stop being so hard on bb!Wu Xie, this is his first time in a tomb after all 

- Y'know, guys, I really think it would have been a better idea to let Pan Zi go before Pangzi, given that he's also injured and all. Get your most injured people to safety first.

- How the fuck is that zombie deflecting Xiaoge's sword with his HAND?! 

- WHY IS IT MAKING TINGING NOISES AS IF IT'S METAL HITTING METAL?! 

- Oh, NICE, Xiaoge! 

- I am very disappointed that I could not get a good screencap of that awesome, smooth, and effortless slide he did through the tunnel

- Things I discovered when I went to YouTube to see if I could get a good screencap of it by slowing down the playback (which I can't do on Viki) 

- the eps on YT and the eps on Viki are edited differently. I'm gonna have to watch this again on YT once I'm done with the Viki one

- At a guess, the YT ones have a bunch of stuff cut, because where I'm up to in ep 5 on Viki is in ep 4 on YT 

- For instance, XIAOGE'S AWESOME SLIDE THROUGH THE TUNNEL JUST THEN is not in the YT one?! 

- Wow, I'm going on a lot of tangents tonight. OK, back to the ep.

- Xiaoge holding the zombie at swordpoint until it gives up and backs away 

- So these zombies have some intelligence 

- ngl, though, if I was on my hands and knees in front of a hot guy holding a sword on me, backing away would be like the last thing I would be doing

- Why the fuck is there a giant, chained up tree deep in the middle of an underground tomb? 

- And ivy all over the cave walls? 

- WHERE ARE YOU GETTING SUNLIGHT FROM DOWN HERE?! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?! 

- I'm glad you're just as confused as I am, Pan Zi

- OK, some sunlight is getting in, since there are two bodies laying in a conveniently positioned sunbeam 

- Sure, what the fuck are you gonna do to him, Pangzi? He's dead. He doesn't care. 

- Unless he's another zombie who's gonna rise from the grave, but still don't think he cares

- Yes, Pangzi, tomb robbers don't end well 

- Love Wu Xie's cute suspicious face 

- Lucky grab there 

- Oh, there you are, Sanshu 

- Do all the tunnels in this place empty out at this tree? 

- LOL, I love that Sanshu immediately doesn't take any of Pangzi's shit

- That was a bad place to faint 

- Good thing Xiaoge is right there! 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 8 for Wu Xie, 9 for the protagonists, 10 for everyone 

- I love how often Wu Xie is the damsel in distress

- Don't worry, Sanshu, Xiaoge will definitely look after his future bf

- Looks like Pangzi is about to fall. Again 

- Pangzi, if you had HELD ON to that vine, it wouldn't have been as bad 

- Wait for him to realise he's laying between two corpses in 3, 2, 1... 

- Uh...I hope they're just stuck to him and not actually sitting up under their own power

- These are remarkably well-preserved corpses 

- THERE'S that realisation 

- And there's the freakout 

 - They did get just get caught 

- They're not gonna have kids, Pangzi, they're dead 

- Pangzi, what are you doing? Leave the corpses alone now

- Wake them? I don't like the sound of that, Sanshu 

- Also, how do you know that? 

- Cute pingxie shots just because 

- In her mouth? 

- Oh, a key, thank goodness. I thought it was gonna be an evil bug 

- Pangzi, stop appraising her necklace, didn't you say you're not a tomb robber? 

- There's fucking what now? 

- HOW?! 

- THERE'S A WHAT IN HER ASS?! 

- Hahah, well that certainly stopped Pangzi from checking out the valuables on her 

- JFC 

- That got Xiaoge's attention 

- Oooh, he's noticed something in the tree 

- Sorry not sorry for more gratuitous Xiaoge shots

- That's a pretty looking key 

- ...and now her corpse is undergoing rapid decay? How the fuck was the key preventing the corpse from decaying? 

- That explanation makes no logical sense, Sanshu 

- Maybe that box the other corpse is holding, Wu Xie? 

- Pangzi thought of that, too

- What were those flashes? Were those just for the viewer, or was one of the characters getting them? 

- That seemed to be the unnaturally bright green-eyed man from the opening credits 

- Leave the sword alone, Pangzi 

- Although I do understand the desire to pick it up

- Uh...what 

- No shadow is NEVER a good thing 

- WTF? 

- Sanshu, I never wanna play poker with you 

- This doppelganger has done a damn good job of acting like Pangzi this whole time 

- When did it replace him? 

- Maybe it was the doppelganger who was so cruel to A-Ning? We'll see.

- That's a very solid ghost 

- And that's kinda creepy 

- Uh...isn't she already dead? 

- Sanshu just going straight for the tackle 

- Clever boy, Wu Xie 

- Though, Xiaoge, where were you? Were you just gonna let Pangzi strangle Sanshu, or did you figure Sanshu had it handled?

- (he did not have it handled) 

- (pretty sure if that had been Wu Xie you'd've jumped in the moment Pangzi's hands went around his throat, if not before) 

- *sigh* Pangzi, pls 

- The Green Eyed Fox? 

- Was that the dude in the fox mask? 

- Probably (also?) the opening credits guy

- How the fuck has it taken me 3 hours to get through half an ep? 

- Oh yeah, I keep going off on tangents and pausing to take pretty screenshots of Xiaoge 

- So we're doing fox demons, are we? 

- Don't touch anything. Yeah, like that sword you had casually slung over your shoulder.

- Storytime! 

- Suuure, Pangzi 

- Xiaoge really seems to know everything 

- Don't rattle it, Wu Xie 

- Oh, that interested A-Ning 

- I wonder if this is the thing that's supposed to cure Wu Xie 

- Sanshu thinks it's a bad idea, but doesn't want anyone other than Wu Xie to know

- Or, more to the point, doesn't want Pangzi and A-Ning to know 

- Good excuse, Wu Xie 

- I wonder if Pangzi is still supposed to be a doppelganger, or if that was part of the hallucination 

- Yeah, suuure you're not going to steal relics, Liu Tai

- Have they set up a new camp at the digsite, or did they take Chengcheng and High Shao back to their original camp? 

- I think he does legit want A-Ning to be ok, though 

- Looks like I was right, all the tunnels lead to the tree 

- Which means I expect zombie guy to show up any minute

- Don't think A-Ning will be happy they kept what happened to her friend from her when that happens 

- Xiaoge back into 'something is coming' mode 

- Oh, how was that for timing? Less than a minute after I said it, zombie dude is on his way 

  - And it goes straight for Pangzi 

- Maybe he knew Pangzi was a dick to his friend 

- GDI A-Ning 

- That's a strong zombie 

- XIAOGEEEEEEE! 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 8 for Wu Xie, 10 for the protagonists, 11 for everyone

- Yes, Pangzi, Xiaoge IS amazing

- lol, Pangzi making so much noise cheering for Xiaoge that he got the zombie's attention back 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 8 for Wu Xie, 11 for the protagonists, 12 for everyone

- This is apparently the Xiaoge Rescues EVERYONE ep 

- I'm not surprised you fell, A-Ning, with that wound

- That was a heavy fall. Ouch 

- Come on, A-Ning, you seemed more level headed than this so far 

- And the zombie knocks away the easier/closer target, Wu Xie, to target A-Ning 

- Wonder if there's a reason for it, or just dramatics

- And then he stops trying to bite her to kick her away & go back to fighting Xiaoge? 

- Those are some very nice moves from Xiaoge 

- And now the zombie is...launching himself at Wu Xie and the others? 

- Wu Xie being the hero and pushing everyone else out the way

- Pangzi to the rescue? 

- No - A-Ning!

- Poor A-Ning 

- Oh yeah, better pull Pangzi out the tree 

- Zombie spitting up blood as he's dying 

- No, Pangzi, he's not gonna be fine. A-Ning shot him like 4 or 5 times in the chest 

- Aaah, zombie is lucid now

- Wu Xie ain't doing too good right now 

- Those are some nasty bruises. Caused by the poison gas/blood, I'm guessing 

- WTF made you think drinking the water in a tomb chamber was a good idea? 

- Xiaoge's shown emotion a total of 3 times in 5 eps, and 2 of those have been worry for Wu Xie

- Whatcha looking for, Xiaoge? 

- Huh, no-one even thought to look under there, just assumed the box was all that was interesting 

- Kirin blood?!  

- And how did A-Ning know what it was, esp from that distance? 

- Pan Zi, you are like the second most badass person here next to Xiaoge

- Also, I am no longer feeling sorry for A-Ning 

- You owe these people your life, A-Ning, and this is how you repay them? 

- Xiaoge isn't too impressed. After all Pan Zi ain't Wu Xie 

- Oh, that seems like a fair deal. 

- I am pleased with the amount of Xiaoge in this ep

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 9 for Wu Xie, 12 for the protagonists, 13 for everyone

- Not gonna count his offer to A-Ning as a rescue, since he didn't bother waiting to see if she'd accept before he went ahead and saved his future bf 

- This is the softest I've seen him look all show

- Pan Zi is much nicer than I would have been. I would have probably punched her 

- Then again, they've made a fuss a few times about treating her differently because she's a woman, ugh

- Hahah, Xiaoge just getting up and walking off without any explanation for poor Wu Xie

- Wu Xie seemed so concerned, like he thought he'd done something wrong 

- Then all worried, aww 

- Hahah, Xiaoge not even gonna wait for A-Ning, just gonna go find her guys all by himself 

- Several *thousand*? No wonder Wu Xie's gagging

- Oh, eating super old kirin blood is what made Xiaoge's blood magical? Does that mean Wu Xie's blood is also magic now? 

- Just Chengcheng in danger, Sanshu? What about High Shao? 

- What about climbing the tree? 

- XD XD XD

 - Sanshu saying exactly what I just did

- There's sunlight already coming through, will you even need to dig a hole? That sunbeam on the corpses was pretty big 

- Pan Zi like "of course I can climb all the way up there with a hole in my gut and several other injuries"

- Of course Wu Xie is gonna worry about A-Ning getting out as well. He wouldn't be Wu Xie if he didn't 

- Wu Xie is such a nice boy 

- Pan Zi is also pretty forgiving 

- Pangzi, you just can't take people being sincere with you yet, can you? 

- That's some depressed fatalism there

- Sanshu now doing his part to convince A-Ning by appealing to her sense of responsibility for her men 

 And there we go for ep 5! It only took me...5 hours for a 40 minute ep 

We end with Xiaoge Rescue Count at 9 for Wu Xie, 12 for the protagonists, 13 for everyone