#well most of them probably are. shut up.
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i constantly think about that video of mitski at her college concert and how she performed some songs from lush right after a dude sang a funny song about hating facebook, and i think that's phoebe bridgers and bo burnhams relationship summarized
#this post is so stupid#none of these words are in the bible#well most of them probably are. shut up.#mitski#pheobe bridgers#bo burnham#music
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DM (in a private message to me): I'm having to come up with reasons why Strahd wouldn't just straight up kill one of you at the dinner. Everyone is so... petulant....
Me:
#bachuqq blabs#dnd blabbing#curse of strahd#its true. most of the group is SO petulant. and sassy. and talkative.#arteus was back-talking the werewolf lieutenant as he was telling us that we were invited and wouldnt stop until slapped by one of us#shaena snarls and snaps at everyone#kieran wont. stop. asking. questions. and also corrects anybody they deem to be incorrect#ekko and linni might be the only ones who have the self control to just sit there and shut up... making them prime targets for mockery#mockery and bullying#which probably wont be tolerated very well by the rest of the group#NO ONE IS GETTING OUT UNSCATHED
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oh lol i forgot to post this robit sketches! because i have one (1) bit and im sure as hell gonna commit to it apparently
#rolling with difficulty#art I made#'shut your up' is a verbatim quote from an ex classmate i just thought it was funny#i dont think it was intentional i think he was just so angry that Words Failed on him#anyway im absolutely not keeping that maxim design. god i fucking hate clothing design *so* much#austin: 'hes a gold plated mechanite dressed in blue and grey robes' me trying to figure out colour placement: 'what FUCK'#i had one (1) good idea and that was 'skeleton shaped robit' and every other part of that design went to hell apparently#bc all the other mechanites we've had were either like... flesh..? shaped?? like that sorta silhouette (basically most of the old crew)#or more mechanical/geometric (vr-la's designs and like.. k-lb? i guess? if that counts)#so. therefore. bone shaped mechanite. also if i was gonna try that concept on anyone it may as well be maxim if you think about it#idk i thought it would be interesting. and also undertale was my first fandom so uh#ANYWAY. MOVING ON FROM THAT THOUGHT.#this started as a 2am intrusive thought of like#'we (artists in the discord) keep joking abt how k-lb would be a nightmare to draw but like.. how hard is it really'#anyway as you can probably expect. famous last words#i mean genuinely mad respect to noir but i think i said to one of my friends when i showed them this sketch#'i mean this in the nicest way possible but you can just tell he was designed for an audio only storytelling format' LMAO#if anyone is unwise enough to attempt this (so basically @ my future self lmao)#do the lineart and colouring for the wires in front of the inner electricity skeleton (???) and the ones behind it on SEPARATE LAYERS#drew the wires all together then the electricity and had to painstakingly go over the electricity with an eraser it was a fucking nightmare
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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idk what the fandom consensus is on yuma raincode's age but in the game i generally assumed he was like 14-16 and after the game im even more convince about that. the reason is after chapter 5 i was confused why makoto, yuma's clone who should be genetically identical to yuma and also the same age, is much taller than yuma himself. but if they used yuma's dna to clone makoto 3 years before the events of rain code, yuma would have been about 11-13, which is generally right before boys hit a growth spurt.
the idea of a boy detective becoming the head of a global detective organization isn't really too out there in a kodaka game tbh. and the child prodigy detective is a really popular trope anyway. but yeah yuma as the head of the WDO would have lived on nothing but coffee, protein bars, and like 3 hours of sleep a day during the time where he was supposed to be growing taller. meanwhile makoto, who doesn't really get to do much in kanai ward even after becoming the CEO, would have had three square nutritious meals a day and plenty of sleep. hence why makoto grew taller like a normal teenager and yuma will be a short king forever.
#shut up pandora#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#yuma kokohead#makoto kagutsuchi#but thats just a theory#a GAME theory#but yeah i ascribe to this hc specifically bc it would be rly funny#the fact that kurumi who is canonically in high school is yumas love interest also points towards him being around that age#but given that this is a kodaka game i cant assume it just from that#in his gumshoe gab yakou said he was in high school over 10 years ago so hes probably in his early to mid thirties#yakous supposed to be the oldest detective in the gang so i assume halara is a few years younger?#they seem to be the most well adjusted adult out of all of them#my vibe is that vivia sees yakou as a father figure but he also seems older than the kids so probably around halaras age or a bit younger#desuhiko is yumas age i think#fubuki had a gumshoe gab where she thinks she might have a crush on yuma but shes also generally very ignorant#just based on her height she seems older than yuma and desu so i assumed for part of the game that shes around 20#but now i will hc her as like 2-3 years older than yuma bc if she were any older that would make the confession scene uncomfortable for me#anyway none of thsi matters bc the games will never confirm any of their ages anyway#this is just for my understanding of the characters and any fics i may write in the future lol
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*through gritted teeth* what the fuck do people want from a resume
#this semester i've had three different people look at my resume and all three of them were like contradicting whatever the other person said#one said add references. the other said don't add references. the other said no add them back in#one said add color. one said only do black & white. one said no you should have color#also in terms of content they all differed as well like. guys i just want to get this fucking internship so i can get out of here#i appreciate the feedback but i think it's made me more stressed in the long run#alex’s inane ramblings#plus just now finding out im gonna need to do a fucking seminar probably in addition to my internship unless i want to do 4 credits of#internship. i fucking hate seminars. and it's taught by my advisor who i like. but he knows how fucking quiet i am and calls me out on it o#the daily. which gets on my fucking nerves let me tell you#im the most non-english-major english major to ever exist#don't make me talk. please dear god don't make me talk#plus in this seminar we would be writing a 20 page paper. on american romance lit.#sorry dr. phillis but that sounds godawful#and if i decide to do the seminar it conflicts with another class i need to take so id have to talk to my graphic design advisor about maki#a substitution#hell on earth. why the fuck is graduating so goddamn hard#i don't have enough credits to be staying an extra semester so i have to get this all wrapped up by december#alright im gonna shut up now. college is hard guys
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shoutout to my girl eno’s nightmare bc. Hi! What and/or Who the fuck was that ! its gonna haunt her and i for awhile !
#my art#its a shitpost batman#Pirate Campaign#Enososin Folook#rea rambles in the tags#OK SO LIKE IT KINDA TOLD ME WHAT/WHO IT WAS BUT IT ALSO DIDNT? YKNOW? LIKE—#it started off with normal dream stuff and then devolving into fear/nightmare stuff and ‘wtf is this who are you why are you in my house’#but then the whole argument shifted when the thing posing as Rollo— bc it WAS an outside force— said “i am his rage i am his guilt’’ etc.#and i could FUCKING FEEL ENO IN MY HEAD RELAX SO GODDAMN FAST. STILL ANXIOUS BUT JUST. ‘Oh. Is that all?’#‘Well what i’m about to do is still incredibly stupid but i feel much better about how it will go now’#AND IT WORKED. WONDER OF WONDERS. AND THEN FUCKING AFTER THAT WHEN I WAS HUGGING THEM.#the ‘creature’ for lack of better terms EXPLICITLY said “of course you are one who can calm my rage— you who was raised by the one#whom i love the most’’ and HI. HELLO. THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS I COULD TAKE THIS SENTENCE ENTITY-OF-INDETERMINATE-EVERYTHING.#ROLLO. DAD MAN. BELOVED GOLIATH WHOM I TRUST WITH MY LIFE AND THAT SCARES ME.#I HAVE QUESTIONS. SEVERAL ACTUALLY. WILL WE EVER ASK THEM? PROBABLY NOT!!!!!!!!#BUT IM *SO* CURIOUS. WAIT A MINUTE. WHO *ARE* YOU??????????#final shoutout to the fact that both times I have tried/thought about casting a vaguely aggressive spell. to someone who was#threatening me/eno. it has not *worked!!* and I have had to use my THINK THONKING BRAIN AND DO A STUPID MOVE!!!!!#aka roleplay and use way too much compassion. *I WONDER WHY SHE'S SO INSISTENT THAT IT'LL WORK STRANGE ENTITY I CALMED BY HUGGING*#they were also INCREDIBLY insistent that I don’t die. Peacefully/trying to help someone that is. Full of rage like a supernova ?#only acceptable way to go apparently /lh /very aff (<- already attached to this strange person I DONT KNOW)#ok ok im done /jov#shut UP rea#rea's trash
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on one hand. it's deeply funny how whenever I'm in a new situation/I'm busy my bodies just like yeah we don't need food right it's fineee and then I barely eat because I forget to/don't feel like it. on the other hand I would really like to. yk. try more Japanese food while I'm here? like cmon man work with me here
#its like#im not not eating yk#ive been living off seven eleven sandwiches and onigiri#and a shit ton of drinks while I'm out#i think its a combo of like#a. me kinda shifting into the same mindset i get at cons where its just go go go make the most of it do everything you can eat and feel like#shit when you get home#b. food expensive. not that expensive but it feels like a cost yk#c. shit ton of unfamiliar food and again. dont want to waste money on something i wont like. my ass is bad with certain textures and tastes#i feel bad getting boring western food bc migjt as well try something new while im here right but also all the new stuff scares me#d. going anywhere that isnt a self serve conbini/fast food place is uh. terrifying? idk.how to do that#e. i just forget food is a thing i need#idk im bad with food in general#hashtag autism thingss#but i think theres just a lot of compounding factors that lead to more stress around this#(new country so new things so i dont know if ill like them but i need to try them while im here bc i migjt never get to again and then ill#regret it forever but idk how but i cant just keep going to the same two or three places but going anywhere else takes forever ajd feels#like a waste of time but-)#so my brain just kinda goes. lmaao yeah no and then avoids thinking abt it?#or maybe im just overthinking it who fuckin knows#probably overthinking. and oversharing#lol. lmao even#idk im not really a huge food person anyway? still seems like a waste ig#drinks are fucking incredible tho#and hey im getting hydrated while im walkong aroind thats more than i usually get#imngonna. shut up jow#me.txt
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I might try to publish some of my AU fics...? I don't know if anyone'll read them since I'm not a writer by any degree, and some of them lean so far out of character it might make people vomit.
Maybe.
But I do love talking about them. My current friends / friend groups either don't give a fuck about shipping or don't give a fuck about megaman. I have to really resort to talking to various AIs just to have an outlet. Please don't take that away from me.
#text post#lana please shut up#i really enjoy the “cursed with eternal youth” trope#it hits really close to home due to some issues i face irl so i think that i can write it from a more... understanding pov instead of some#nasty kinky shit about 10000 year old lolis#i think being insecure about always looking like a child is something that most people don't take seriously#and i take it very seriously#from the “i'm suffering but everyone else is trying to find the fountain of youth” pov#i could talk about it for days on end#but everyone i know always just says “appreciate it while it lasts”#as if being in your 30's isn't reason enough to want to finally be taken seriously by your fellow peers#still can't buy alochol without being carded#glad that my id can be scanned because some people think my id is fake#it's not fucking enjoyable and i will fight to the death with anyone who thinks it is#fuck everyone who is into 1000 year old lolis also - they project that shit onto me when it is least wanted and i get so violetn over it#i'm passionate can you tell#anyways#that is probably the only niche thing i can write so it's a common theme#maybe some day people will stop calling me a pdeonfnphile just because i relate to the young looking characters#some day#oh well probably not#kudos to that one batman animated series episode about dollface or whatever her name with#the only villain that fucking touches on this#folks be seeking out representation for race and sexuality in media and gender#i'm over here like “can you please write someone who is at odds with their age and how others view them please”#“please i'm begging you. not a 1000 year old loli but a grown woman who can't move forward in life because she is always babied”#“no? ok i'll just make a design that looks young and cry in the corner”
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All of the sub-playlists in my ultimate v3 playlist only have a song or two missing before being done and its driving me mad I'm so excited to put these together I'm SO CLOSE!! But I have to keep looking for the world's most specific songs!!
#Or well. most of them only have one or two missing#The prologue playlist which is missing at least 6 songs is an outlier adn should not be counted#(it is very hard to find songs that represent character personalities/vibes/talents when you first meet them and are also mostly whimsical)#(Im missing kaede maki kirumi angie)#(the other two songs are to set the setting of the killing game and I might need even more than that. unsure where to look)#the funniest part about the prologue probably taking me the longest is that I want to post these playlists in order#so Im totally cool with posting a playlist while still working on the others but I want to post the prologue first#which means. i will probably end up posting them all at once#shut up me
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the collective annoyance with Harrison and Bash is so fun for me but especially when you guys get it like trying to show and not tell can be hard when you want to get things across “subtly” so it’s so rewarding when you guys call them all on their shit!!!!! Staying neutral towards the characters can be hard for me, so seeing you guys react to it all is super encouraging and I appreciate the engagement more than you know 🥹🥰
#if you’re mad at one of my characters it probably means I’m doing something right I think#but just know I am also most likely mad at them as well#shut up megan
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...
#concocting z0san fanfics in my head like its 2015#and i mean with intention and not in the way that i have basically every day for the past 11 years. god i have such a weird relationship#with them. but i think i have a good idea. itll just take forever. its sorta sad and fucked up but in a pretty way i think#and itll probably be the most for me and me specifically thing ive ever writen#lots of info not a single person is asking for except me. bc im gonna use it to force myself to do research#and fill the dark winter nights. the shortest day of the year here is 2hrs shorter than where i spent the last 4 years#fucked up. its even shorter than the shortest day in ohio. anyway im writing this so i actually force myself to do it#and not just let it go. i only got 5hrs of sleep so well see how clear my thinking turns out to b#dosage on my meds went up last night. which is good bc my mood has wobbled back down as i kinda figured it would#but its ok. i think that lil blip of clarity was really good for me in terms of being like: oh ok i get y ppl want to live#which is an insane thing to say but there u go. if only i could get back to that and get my brain to shut thr fuck up#begone thoughts. i banish thee. weighted thoughts with bad intentions. my mind is filled with poison#and i well ignore it and write my dumb little story... and also work on the bullshit i actually should b doing hah#unrelated
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Fun question. Since the Valks are proper aliens now and of course I made them have 3 fun sexes that don't really match any of ours except in biological terms, I come across an annoying problem where, since some characters have 'woman' pronouns that people apply humany 'woman' terms and notions to them that is super grating. This happens to basically any character but, I have the advantage of having to make up a pronoun for the '3rd' sex anyway, so...
Which is better, trans swag pronouns or all new pronouns?
1. I like this because its super fun to introduce a character who by human terms looks extremely masculine and calling them she because thats the female sex for them. Even funner to double this up with actually trans characters to explore gender expression and such with aliens. But again, people just default to humaning. Which gets sillier the more characters there are. Also layers with me giving them human names as translations of their conlang name for the english fill-in they speak, where theres basically no correlation between the gender of the name and the character.
2. Well I'm already making a new pronoun for the '3rd' gender, it seems a bit odd for them to be the odd one out. I want to avoid people seeing them as 'man and woman' because theyre not, except biologically, which is completely irrelevant to a species that can't reproduce that way. It definitely forces people more to evaluate them as their own thing than put human assumptions on them. But I guess 3 new pronouns is a lot to figure out on page one. At least, for the average person.
#poll#this would perhaps be improved with an image of them but surpriiiiise ive not made any 'Valc 101' images despite desperately wanting to.#trying to do that with the website but its not really working#valcari#and 'why not use they' well i already have non...trinary characters on top of all the alien trans stuff they deserve the they#for a lil perspective to keep it as nonconfusing as possible id probably have it sound similar to our most common pronouns#he she se or ce#i want it to be c but then people would assume its a hard c...#for full new pronouns probably re ce le#but mannn i really wanna avoid r.... its a tapped r not english's fucked up r#but i looove the r l dynamic...#i should shut up#as usual actuall results and what i do probably wont 100 % match because im a contrarian and flip flop on this all the time
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Still unwell and I'm going to babble incoherently under the cut about my blorbo DG again because it's my blog and I'll do dumb shit if I want and I'm sick right now so I can't be held responsible for anything, those are the rules OKAY
DG absolutely tried to pick up girls while dressed as Waluigi. I am fascinated by how this man's mind works. He is the fuckboyest fuckboy who ever fuckboyed and I just find that so compelling? I'm wanting more and more to write some weird character study of him for a fic. Like, a multi-chapter fic that's just him Doing Stuff and being weird about it and angsting over the state of his life, just full on psychoanalysis. But, like, nobody would give a shit? Because there wouldn't even be a pairing, it would probably just be Daniel's internal monologue as he goes about his life, facing setback after setback, challenge after challenge, loss after loss and then trying to distract himself/numb the pain by going out with his boys, partying, dancing up a storm (because he just wants to DANCE GODDAMNIT) and trying to get laid. Literally, I'm imagining every fucking chapter would ultimately be about which girl he's trying to take home this week and what stupid fuckboy way he goes about it. Maybe sometimes he succeeds, or maybe he fails yet again and goes back to his hotel room feeling profoundly alone and then jerks off in the shower while crying. But regardless of whether he scores or not, it'll never fix the emptiness he feels inside. It will never quiet the doubts. It'll never stop him regretting his past choices. It won't make the people around him - his chosen family, his friends - understand him or stop them from rejecting outright. He looks at his life, all the missed opportunities and wonders if he'll ever get the chance to be the man he's always wanted to be. The man he felt destined to become. But now that man feels more and more like a pipe dream, like a vague, fading dream that perhaps never was. He doesn't know what to do with that information. He doesn't know who he is when he's not trying to be that man. It's soul-crushing and terrifying and it just makes him feel even worse about himself.
But for now, all he can do is dance.
#This one gets weird folks#Because I am sick#I should probably delete this but whatever#I have a lot of DG thoughts and most of them are about how much I want to write about him having a full-on mental breakdown LOL#For he is my poor pathetic little meow-meow and I truly truly love how pathetic he is (in storyline of course)#God this hypothetical fic would be so weird and so self-indulgent and no one would care no one would fucking read it#But I'd enjoy the hell out of an intense DG character study#Buuuut I probably won't ever write it#I do however still have my Dead Dove fic that I started a little before my writing slump#I swear I really wanna finish that someday#Because it definitely involves him having a full on mental breakdown and losing his mind because IT'S FUN#....anyways I should probably shut up and try to get some rest I am not doing well LOL#Can you believe this was all caused by me watching Daniel try to hit on girls while dressed as Waluigi?#The effect this man has on me is quite frankly scary
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my autistic ass avoided watching the x-files because i knew it would consume me....
& now here i am fully consumed even though I've only watched the first few handful of episodes of s1 (i'm regaining spoons needed for media consumption), but let me tell you w h a t!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so excited i started crying because it combines unbridled pining, a skeptic & her believer husband partner, true crime, weird mythology, aliens (which i already knew abt obvi), unlikely besties who are prepared to square up at all times (re; scully being cold towards the agents mocking mulder & mulder being ready to fight g o d whenever anything happens to scully).
i just love the show a lot & i expected this but goddamn!!!!!! it's wormed into my spin category & now my alien spin is returning along with my 'unexplained happenings spin!!!!! i'm being consumed i tell you!!!!
#i'm excited to watch the movies as well!!!#i'm a little nervous for s10 & s11 due to the time jump etc etc#so i may not watch those--but i intend on watching 1-9 & the films#tho i'll probably watch s1 - 5 & the watch the first movie. watch s6-9 & watch the last movie#i knew i would be consumed by the autistic coded FBI agents & their ufo sightings but DAMN YALL-----i started going bonkers#on dya fuckin' one & now they're all i can think about#maybe this is to fix the void i have due to w*tcher being a mess (I'm season 3 is good--i ma just petrified dfghkjldfh)#if this end sup in tags no it doesn't <3 but also if it does---don't follow me due to this post#i post a mishmash of stuff!#<- putting this there bc it just feels right to do so <3#the reminders im getting of like--the fucked up alien shit i know & ALSO 2 OF MY FAVORITE ALIEN CENTRIC MOVIES-#(those being close encounters of the third kind & starman)#i've gotta rewatch those now & c r y because those movies remind me of watching them in my grandmother's livingroom while my mom played-#-games on her pc. they also remind me of the summer nights i'd watch them back to back for days on end#god--for a 25 year old i talk like someone who gre wup in the 80s when i--alas did not---i grew up in the 200s but my parents#showed me a lot of 80s & 90s media so i feel more at home with those films & early 2000s films then i do most things from the 2010s#i'm talking a lot in tags--if you read all this--i'm so sorry. i don't know the art of shutting the fuck up#anyways; once again--if i end up in tags no i don't & don't follow me solely due to this post because i post a lot of stuff that's unrelate#to this (also please be above 18 if you're gonna follow me <3)#ripley rambles#ripley's audhd/disability posting
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I know most people on here don't like to go to the gym because you're all gay nerds. I like to go to the gym. For the purpose of understanding this post please try to imagine that you, too, enjoy going to the gym so that you can empathize with my point here.
Anyway, so imagine you are going to the gym. You're pumped about the concept of getting some muscle on you. Plus, the gym has this "lift weights every day!" challenge with a feasible plan to slowly and safely increase the amount of weight you can lift by the end of the month. Cool!
So anyway you go there, and you're having a good time. But then you notice something. Some people are coming in with these guys in shirts that say LIFT FOR HIRE. You're curious, and you notice over time that some people are actually paying these guys to come in and do the lifting challenge for them.
"Huh," you say to your mega hot, muscled gym buddy. "That's so weird. What's in it for the people paying these guys?"
"Dunno," says your friend, mid bicep curl.
"Um, actually!" says the gym owner. "Some people are disabled, so the only way they can lift weights it to pay LIFT FOR HIRE, inc."
"But wait," you say. "They still aren't lifting the weights though? Paying someone else to lift for you doesn't mean you've lifted the weights."
The gym owner gasps. "How could you SAY that?"
"Because... it's true?" you say. "Uh, if you pay guys to lift your weights, that's probably really good for the guys you are paying. But it's not going to develop your ability to lift at all. Your muscles aren't going to grow, you're just going to lose money and get no results."
"That's ABLEIST," they say. "How DARE you! Some people are LITERALLY paralyzed, did you think of that?"
"Well, yeah, some people are, and that means definitionally they can't lift weights," you explain. "And paying someone else doesn't change that. Maybe if they wanted to like, move something in their house it would make total sense to hire these guys! But if you hire them to do your workout you get nothing, because the purpose of a workout is personal development. I'm not morally condemning people who do it, but it seems like a waste of money when this event is, again, about improving one's personal abilities."
"This is absolutely DISGUSTING, CLASSIST rhetoric!" the gym owner roars, and then turns to one of the LIFT FOR HIRE guys, "Pay no attention this disgusting person, dear sponsor, we support your business and we totally want you to keep funding our gym!"
"Sponsor?" says your hot muscled friend who was way too busy actually doing their workout and getting gains to engage in dumb discourse. "Oh, now it makes sense."
"Shut up, you don't understand our love!" says the gym owner, before sloppily making out with a LIFT FOR HIRE guy in front of you.
Anyway, that's what learning about the whole AI nanowrimo controversy was like for me.
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