#well it’s over 30k now. and i’m still one scene away from finishing the first draft of chapter 4

[spinner-of-yarns]

well. bad omens is officially the longest thing i’ve ever written. and it’s still not fucking done.

[clumsyclifford]

ok hello i absolutely love all ur fics, you’ve just got a certain quality in ur writing that is just… mmm. yeah so anyway, do you have any advice on how to improve or just how to write?? (especially fic cause personally i struggle with that more than original stuff??)

hello!! that is very kind of you to say thank you <3

advice on how to write. oh boy. oh man. well i can try. i will do my best. i will also try to be brief but we all know how that song goes

update from having finished answering this: alright. okay. this is not only long, but decidedly english teacher-y. i’m sorry that i am the way that i am. this is what you get for asking a leo for writing advice. am i joking? maybe. maybe not. anyway. this post got away from me in a big way so here’s a read more. warning: LONG post under the cut.

1. study your characters. for RPF like the band stuff i write, that literally means watching interviews, watching them perform, seeing how they interact with each other, picking up on their mannerisms (behavior) - what they do with their hands, if they repeat themselves or stutter when they talk, the quality of their voice when they're talking about different things, and so on. also keep track of things they mention a lot in interviews especially about each other - for example jack has mentioned before that alex has an annoying habit of twirling his hair when he zones out. that kind of thing. IMPORTANT NOTE!: you don’t have to use all of this information. just like studying for anything, you collect all the information you can and then you parse through it and use whatever you think will contribute or be relevant to your story.

2. remember that characters are people. or at least they’re representing people, which is an important distinction (see #3). still, considering that your characters are people can be a helpful way to get out of your head. see, characters are supposed to be archetypical, and fulfill a role, and say certain things in certain ways and never really deviate from that. but people are highly unpredictable and behave in random ways for random reasons and have thought processes that are unfathomable. people will just do fuckin’ whatever. if you’re worried that your characters aren’t behaving in a believable way, keep in mind that you’re trying to make your characters represent people, and people’s behavior is justifiable any number of ways. people just do shit.

3. remember that characters are not people. sike! no but seriously, this is just as important to remember. unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, characters are never going to be people. that’s a good thing for stories, though. characters can pick up on nuance in senses that people can’t - they can distinguish between different facial expressions, different smells, different sounds - BUT ONLY INSOFAR AS IT MOVES THE STORY ALONG. in other ways, characters are ridiculously oblivious. you can use this to your advantage. in fact, a lot of the time, you have to. if your character notices right away that someone is flirting with him, then you can’t write a 30k slow burn, for example. characters don’t do that thing humans do where they go “what?” but then halfway through the re-explanation they register what’s been said. pretty much everything characters say has meaning. (by this i don’t mean semantic meaning, i mean significance - characters don’t really just say “what?” because they didn’t hear what someone said, they say “what?” because they can’t believe it or they don’t understand it or they refuse to understand it. characters never seem to run into the didn’t-hear-them problem. must be nice.)

characters can do whatever you want or need them to do, because you’re in charge of them. (sometimes this doesn’t feel true - mine do all kinds of shit and i just have go “well alright then” - but it is true.) they are gears in a story. you decide when and how they turn.

4. dialogue is your friend. i am super super biased here, because i looove writing dialogue. if you talk to sam about this i’m sure she would say that description and narration are the ways to go. but you came to me, so i get to say that dialogue is god. i don’t want to say that dialogue is the only method of communication (i know nonverbal communication is real), but dialogue is the fastest and most effective method of communication, and by extension, the most effective way to advance relationships between characters. now. obviously there are exceptions. if characters are kissing, they’re probably not doing a lot of talking. if they’re trying to be undercover or discreet, they’re more likely to rely on gestures and facial expressions than speaking. if you’re writing a very peaceful scene, you might not want to undercut it by adding a lot of chit-chat. but i maintain that dialogue is the best way to move a story along, for a few reasons. 

first, at least for me, too much description is just tiring. depending on how skillful the writer is (sam), i can read a fair amount before i hit my limit, but unlike in mean girls, the limit DOES exist. you don’t want to over-describe the world (see #5). second, i find that dialogue is a really really good indicator of a person’s character. this is especially true and relevant in fanfiction, which is a lot more character-driven than original fiction in many ways. also, in a sec i’m gonna talk about showing [not/and] telling, which is every english teacher’s bitch, but dialogue is a really good way of showing who a person is and also a good way to establish facts about the universe. you could just narrate and be like “Jack hated waking up early,” and that works and in many cases it’s perfectly legit. but you could also do something like this:

“What the fuck,” Jack mumbled, still half asleep. “You better have a really fucking good reason to be waking me up this early. Like someone better have fucking died.”

and sometimes that’s just a more fun way to say it. (for the record you can also show AND tell here! there’s no reason why you can’t have this line of dialogue and then a line in the narration confirming how very much jack is not a morning person!)

the last reason why i am particularly fond of dialogue is because i am also particularly fond of communication, which is a preference thing. let’s face it, guys: characters aren’t gonna communicate if they’re not literally actually talking to each other. dialogue means talking to each other. talking to each other means solving problems, fixing (or creating) conflicts, understanding each other better. i love communication, ergo, i love dialogue. And You Should Too. 

5. describe the world, but don’t over-describe. i opened this fic earlier and it was like “jack was excited to wake up to go to his first class at the university of baltimore” and i just. i was like is this really relevant. do i really need to know this. and i never found out because i closed the fic but in my defense it was on wattpad and i had only opened it out of curiosity. look. there are three ways to use details in fic. (a) introduce them right away (b) introduce them when they become relevant or (c) don’t introduce them at all. let me give you some examples. 

(a) say your character A (i’m using jack because i’m used to him) wakes up. he’s in his room in his house off-campus. character B (rian) walks into the room. this might be a good time to explain that rian is his housemate. to that point: “show not tell” is a good rule, but sometimes “show and tell” is just as good. e.g.: 

Rian walks in, holding Jack’s Green Day shirt and looking irritated. That’s really nothing new; Rian looks irritated at Jack roughly once a day. Being housemates for a year will do that to a friendship.

boom, now you’ve let everyone know they live together without throwing it in their face, and you’ve also told everyone that these two guys are friends and have been friends for at least a year but probably longer. you showed it by having rian walking in holding jack’s shirt - usual housemate behavior - but you also told it in a subtle way that established the relationship and some kind of history between these two. well done.

(b) sometimes you want a certain detail to make an impact. this is the kind of thing you hold onto and don’t specify, and in certain cases you leave the reader wondering, “well what about x?” and then when you finally explain x they go ohhhhhhhhhh. yknow. the italicized oh. consider the following:

(A)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says, referring to Jack’s ex-boyfriend of last year.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

(B)

“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says.

Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”

“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”

Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”

the only difference between these two excerpts (which i just wrote lol they’re not from anything real) is that the second one doesn’t explain who alex is right away. that makes it way more interesting when rian reveals who alex is a few lines later. magic.

(c) take this college au that we’ve established here. where does it take place, you ask? easy answer: it doesn’t matter. you don’t need to say what school they’re at. this will make your job easier, because then no one can fact check you, and it also means you don’t have to decide what school they’re at. but even if you do decide, it’s not usually necessary to say. believe me, you can go thousands of words without ever needing to specify what school they’re at. you know why? because it doesn’t matter. and no one cares. and as soon as you specify in canon that they’re at a particular school, you are bound to be accurate to everything that school does, and that makes your job way more difficult than it needs to be. as hazel once said, work smarter, not harder. 

6. adverbs are also your friend. (yknow, words that describe verbs, typically ending in -ly, like “loudly” or “angrily” or “smoothly”.) ESPECIALLY when it comes to dialogue tags. (dialogue tags are the things you add to dialogue to say who’s talking and how they’re talking - like “he said” or “he whispered” or “he earnestly explained” or whatever). a lot of the writing advice you’ll see nowadays will usually guide you away from overusing dialogue tags other than the classic “says/said” and i STRONGLY concur with that advice. things like yelled, cried, mumbled, snapped - these are very good in moderation, when you’re really trying to emphasize the way a person is speaking. the more you use them, the less impact they have. in most cases, a simple “he said [adverb]” will do. instead of “he snapped” consider “he said curtly/sharply/coldly.” instead of “he mumbled” consider “he said quietly/clumsily/softly.” I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THESE ARE NOT DIRECT SYNONYMS. every word has a nuanced and slightly different meaning and that is the BEAUTY of the english language!!!! all i’m saying is that in many cases, a verb can be replaced with an adverb to achieve roughly the same effect, without making the reader feel like they’re scanning a thesaurus.

and speaking of a thesaurus: it’s not cheating to use outside resources like thesaurus.com to help you come up with words. i fuckin love thesaurus.com. i use that shit all the time for everything. i use it when i’m writing emails. i used it just now to write that last paragraph. thesaurus.com is your BEST friend.

7. grammar. (and spelling but that’s really a given.) unfortunately if i tried to teach you all of the essential rules of grammar this post would exceed tumblr’s previously-nonexistent word count limit. so i’m not gonna teach you any of them. this is just a general point to suggest that if/when you’re writing, have someone you trust, with a good grasp of grammar, look over it. of course it doesn’t have to be perfect or AP style or anything like that. readers will overlook a certain amount of grammar mistakes and every reader has a different threshold. but in general, as a grammar geek and former journalism editor-in-chief, i have a duty to my grammurai code to preach the importance of grammar in writing. good grammar does not necessarily mean good writing and vice versa, bad grammar does not necessarily mean bad writing, but bad grammar makes good writing a lot harder to read, and in some cases will even obscure your actual meaning. so please, have someone read it. for the record this is me offering up my services. i am very good at fixing grammar. i have lots of weaknesses in writing but grammar is one of my strengths. please prioritize grammar. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

***

okay so now that i’ve said all of this shit and pretended to be an expert and embodied everyone’s tenth grade english teacher, let me add one very important disclaimer:

none of this is always relevant.* writing is an art, not a science. you are never going to be following all of the rules, all of the time. you shouldn’t. it’s good to know the basics of constructing a plot, establishing a character, showing and/not telling, moving the story along. but a lot of this advice is really subjective and heavily influenced by my writing experience and habits and tendencies and preferences, and those are simply not generalizable to the world. i am a sample size of one and science dictates that that means my results cannot be statistically significant. i am just some guy. earlier i said you don’t want to over-describe the world. but maybe you do! maybe you’re really into worldbuilding and you want people to know what they’re getting into. maybe you’re like sam, and you just don’t feel as confident in your dialogue skills but you love painting word pictures. i said that adverbs are your friend, but maybe you just prefer to use verbs. maybe you don’t want ANY dialogue tags and you want the reader to interpret the dialogue based on context and content. i said that characters aren’t people and they won’t behave like people, but maybe you’re trying to write hyper-realistic characters. maybe you’re just going for believability over narrative. WHATEVER. the point is, rules are made to be broken. no one is going to have The Answer for How To Write Good because there isn’t just one answer. every single writing rule has exceptions and you can be that exception as many times as you want.

*except grammar. grammar is fucking always relevant.

i hope any of this advice was helpful to you, even though i english teacher-ed the fuck out of it. and for what it’s worth, i approached this as if you were a relatively novice writer, but i know absolutely jack shit about your writing prowess and experience and habits. so maybe you already know all of this and none of what i’ve said is helpful at all. if you have a more specific problem, i would be happy to try and help. if you’re hoping for more specific feedback, i’d have to read something of yours first - but again, happy to try and help. i don’t know if you can tell but i loooove writing and english and grammar and all of this shit and it would be my honor. i have now spoken so long that james madison himself is begging me to shut up so i’ll stop here but thank you for coming by and giving me the opportunity to expatiate a shit ton. and GOOD LUCK i forgot the most important advice of writing which is HAVE FUN LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE AND WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE OKAY BYE

[micamicster]

Heyyyy! I was wondering, do you have any plans for another fic? And what did the process of deciding to write your existing fics look like?

Hi babe! Thank you for being interested! My answer is gonna be a little all over the place (and insanely long), because I really only started writing fic last year and I have NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING

The first fic was the first time I’d ever written fiction actually, and I have no idea where it came from. The context was that it was the peak of covid lockdown in nyc, new york had a curfew for the first time in 80 years, I'd limped through months of zoom medical school and now that the school year was over all I was doing was going to protests and suddenly also writing fanfiction. It was 30k before I sent a first draft to my sister, who was the only person I'd planned to share it with. I still don't really understand where it came from--I think I just needed something else to do so badly that I started writing? And when she liked it, I was determined to finish it. By the time it was done it was really the equivalent of a book--like 130k--and i had been back working in the hospital for months. I'd kinda figured it to be a one-off thing, born out of the most insane year of my adult life. I was really proud of it though, and I had a generally good experience sharing it online and with irl friends! (My roommate actually printed and bound it for me which was like the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me I love her)

I'd toyed with the idea of writing a sequel to the first fic (I'm still kinda dancing around that idea) but I have some hesitations. For one thing, a one-time stress-induced regression to childhood interests was understandable, but JKR has gotten worse and worse, and I'm not super comfortable with the idea of putting more hp stuff out into the world. For another, my ideas for the sequel were VERY plot-heavy, and I just didn't have the time to work on them during my clinical rotations.

And then as my clinical rotations and exams were wrapping up I finally got the chance to sit down and binge we are lady parts, and it hit a little obsession button in my brain that I could NOT make shut up! And the thing that was making me the most crazy was that the show did not have the massive following it deserved. So I wondered if maybe I could write something that wasn’t an insane novel-length project, but instead something short and manageable, just a few scenes that I could already picture. And we see how well THAT went (48k fucking hell).

So both fics were kinda impulse/experiments? Both kinda got away from me haha

I do want to write more fic, but I don’t really have anything I’m working on right now? I don’t have any burning ideas (for both fics I had scenes in my head that I wanted to get down on paper which sort of sparked the whole rest of the process). Im also about to enter a 10 week period of intense studying for some of the exams I’ll need to pass to graduate medical school, so probably not a great time to work on anything major. I promise I’ll let you guys know if I begin any other projects!

[mira--mira]

Question from an aspiring writer:

How do you stay motivated on one project for such a long time?

I personally have the attention span of a goldfish, and whenever I have an idea I either have to write down everything my brain can spew immediately or have it be lost in the void for eternity.

Never mind going back and turning my outline into a fic or gasp editing.

Do you have any tips and/or tricks you use?

Ok, I got completely carried away with this just fyi, but hopefully I ended up answering your actual question 😂 tl;dr at the bottom.

To be honest, staying motivated is a tricky thing, one that I feel I'm still learning how to do even now and varies a bit between shortfics/oneshots and multi-chaptered fics/longfics. For a bit of background, I've been writing fanfic for about a year and a half, but I've been writing original fiction since I was seven, over a decade and a half, and I still wrestle with it. It's definitely a learning process.

One thing I wish someone would have told me when I was starting out was the power of ~scenes~ in either multi-chapters or one-shots. All writing is ultimately made up of scenes, but if you're struggling to put things together, focusing on an individual scene, or multiple short scenes, might help you focus on getting something completed, and it's something that eventually can be applied to longer works as well. Writing has been a snowball process for me and once I started getting anything completed, I felt more secure in knowing what I could write comfortably and what was out of my comfort zone, eventually getting to the point where I felt comfortable tackling bigger and longer projects and knowing I could stay with them.

OoT's interlude chapters and the snippet series are both good examples of scenes because I wrote them with that intention...even if most of them are actually two or three scenes combined. "Gai meets Hashirama and Madara", "Hashirama gets revenge on Kakashi", "Tatsuki and Hashirama pick flowers for Madara, then give them to him" etc. were all my starting points.

If you're first starting out and feel comfortable with outlines of some sort before you start writing I would encourage you to try and write down a bullet point list of your scene(s) and what you know you want to happen in it.

"Gai meets Hashirama and Madara"

* Hashirama meets Gai first, mistakes him for Lee.

* Madara is shopping for a gift for Hashirama

* Madara finds Gai and Hashirama, they spar, Gai kicks his ass, both of them love him.

This is how my initial outline looked for the first interlude chapter, technically each one of these "points" are their own scenes stuck together. Outlining is different for everyone, some people like super specific points, others even less detail than this. For me this is a nice middle that gives me a roadmap for the chapter, but allows plenty of room to naturally diverge and add detail. Play around with outlines and see what you're comfortable with/what gives you the best results.

I'm not sure of your individual situation, but if you're struggling to put together fics in general something like this might help. Doing this process again and again personally helps me stay on track and gives me a sense of progress.

This sense of progress is ultimately key and why I think motivation differs slightly between one-shots/short fics and longfics. If you confine the individual scene to a one-shot, that might give you the motivation to complete it. Even if you start writing and you get interrupted/can't finish having in one setting, bullet points sometimes help inspire me to finish because I'm not starting from scratch when I return to writing. The whole "eat an elephant one piece at a time" thing was difficult for me to learn, but ultimately proved true. Learning to chip away at something bit by bit is going to be the only (healthy) way to write longer projects you can't complete in one sitting.

For longer projects, it's a similar beast just on bigger levels and with an added dimension. I would actually suggest something similar to OoT for a starting project because it is ultimately broken up into arcs that you know and can reference, instead of making a lot of og content for a fan setting. Maybe not go into it thinking, 'I'll do a complete rewrite' but once you feel like you're ready for a longer project 30K+ or so, the rough outline method and the ability to follow arcs was what got me started when I eventually decided to make the fic multi-chaptered. Try writing one arc and keep yourself contained in that. Now the added dimension aspect in general for longfics is that you eventually want to plot individual chapters in a multi-chaptered longfic and individual arcs (character, plot, etc). This comes with practice. I honestly don't think there's a way to get around that. It's something that I'm still trying to work on and I can look back at my early work and see how I've improved, how I can recognize where things didn't go well in certain places, and how I would change them if I was writing today. That's a good thing to be able to do, it means you've grown! The other thing I find that helps with staying motivated week after week for longer projects is to roughly know where you're going and to try to be excited about a plot point/scene/chapter/etc that you're going to write. Really try to hype yourself up. For me, it's a moment that comes at the very end of the chunin arc and I start grinning even thinking about it because I know it's going to be awesome. It's always what gets me through the rough days, imagining the moment I'll get to actually write that scene in its entirety (it's definitely already outlined and I mentally play it out at least twice a week lol) and is a big motivating drive.

So far I think this is pretty standard stuff if you're an outliner and you've been writing for a few years, but the other thing motivational-wise for me is having a schedule. From reading this message alone, I would not suggest it for you right away. Get comfortable finishing small things and feeling confident that if you let an idea sit for a week or two, you can pick it back up and continue. But if you eventually dip your toes into longfics (and don't plan to pre-write everything before you publish) that routine and rhythm really helps keep me going. I've made a commitment, I've posted it online, I'm going to stick to it. No one is going to jump down my throat if I fail to keep it (this is still a hobby and having fun is the most important thing) but in my mind I should commit to it unless something irl prevents me from doing so. Don't put a tight deadline on yourself, I'd start with once a month or if you write shorter chapters every three weeks. This also would help you build up and get a readership, interaction being another big motivational key.

Also, it's important to accept that sometimes you bite off more than you can chew, and when you feel completely demotivated from a fanfic project...it's okay to drop it. It's okay to take a step back and work on something else. Maybe you'll come back to it, maybe you won't. If you can, try to pinpoint what it was about that project that made you demotivated, were you pushing yourself too much and you got burnt out, was it an ongoing series and your interest for canon lagged and so did the fic, was it just too stressful to keep juggling plotpoints, etc. and keep that in mind moving forward. Every experience can be a learning one and eventually make you a better writer that can eventually tackle those bigger projects. Don't be afraid to take on big aspirational projects, but don't walk into them blind either. Above all, and this is repeated a lot because it's true, enjoy what you write. Some days you might not. That's true with anything, but any project you take on the good should outweigh the bad.

This is my wrap up of the motivational section but I also wanted to throw my two-cents in about editing because "oh no editing" is a perspective I've seen from a lot of writers, and used to have myself, but I think is going to stifle your progress in the long run.

Here's the thing: you need to look forward to editing.

You don't have to be jumping for joy, but editing, imo, should be a positive thing. You have all these great ideas, you made it into a fic, something you wrote, and now you get to go back and make it even better! This is a tough attitude to adopt. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. It took me a long time to unlearn the negative attitude and even then sometimes I still wish the editing was already done once I type in the last period. But I've learned to at least appreciate what editing does and I try to think to myself as I'm going through and making changes things like "wow, this suddenly became so much better. X plot point that I thought of ten pages from now is suddenly being hinted at and doesn't come out of left field. The transition points are a lot cleaner, it's not so jarring anymore. I bet the readers are going to love this little detail. Here's some foreshadowing that I hope someone picks up bc it's going to come back in like 5 chapters from now" it's hard, especially when you start, but this is something you made, and now are actively making better and that's something to celebrate.

I hope this helps anon! I know it's a lot and I'm by no means an expert but I've been doing this for more than a decade because I love it and I want to help others get into writing to! I have no problem answering any writing questions you may have if you find this helpful!

tl;dr

-motivation is slightly different between short/long fics.

-starting out, learn to outline by scenes and focus on finishing small projects and getting to a point where you feel like you can put something down and come back and pick it up again in a week. Completion is key and will help you feel satisfied/know your limits.

-long projects also can work on the scene-to-scene outline but now with individual chapters and individual arcs. It's tough to balance both but comes with practice. Bit-by-bit is key, as is having 'one moment you can't wait to write', possibly a schedule if it works for you, and reader feedback are all huge long-term motivational points.

-editing is tough but learn to look forward to it instead of dreading it.

edited: added a bit more/few typos fixed

[hlcreators]

AUTHOR REC: louistomlinsons / @adoredontour 

Be sure to show some love by leaving kudos and comments!

this town’s just an ocean now (31k)

“I have really great friends. Do you remember Louis? You guys were always hanging out when you were growing up.” Harry remembers Louis. Harry remembers Louis. Suddenly, his throat feels way too dry, despite the ice cream he keeps licking at. He chokes a little on a chocolate chip before saying, “I, uh. I remember Louis.” Her face brightens. “We have dinner every Sunday. He owns the house now. His parents moved further north, and he wanted to stay here, so they just gave it over. Now if you want to worry about someone being lonely, that’s who I worry about.” inspired by watermelon sugar, featuring picnics on the beach and boys being dumb

daydream about me (21k)

“Anything else going on for you at the moment?” she asks, leaning forward on her elbows across the table, mindful of the radio equipment in front of her. “What about you and that Louis Tomlinson?” Harry sputters, mouth moving but no words coming out. She can feel her cheeks heat up, darkening with embarrassment. “It’s not, Louis and I, we don’t—” Harry can’t finish the sentence, tongue heavy in her mouth. She takes a deep breath, thankful they’re not being videoed, and tries again, “We’ve never even met, actually.” alternatively titled 'harry styles does not have a crush on louis tomlinson and other lies she tells liam payne'

robbers and cowards (33k)

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think that you’re enjoying yourself.” The familiar voice immediately gets Louis’ blood boiling, shoulders tensing as he calmly spins around, trying not to draw any suspicion to the pair. “You don’t know me at all,” Louis spits, managing to maintain the polite smile he’s been wearing all evening. “You’re just some asshole who always ruins my nights.” “If I keep ruining your nights, why do you keep going home with me?” Harry asks, taking a sip from his own wine glass. “I don’t go home with you by any choice of my own,” Louis says. “I think you’re annoying and I have no idea how I keep ending up in your bed.” “You end up in my bed because you knock on my apartment door at two in the morning.” Louis wants to punch the smirk right off of his face. “Maybe you should move,” is what he says instead. or a modern day robin hood au where louis and harry (don’t really) hate each other but they hate greedy billionaires more

I’m a Rocket Man (47k)

All he could hear were the faint sounds of Pina Colada coming from the radio and his own heart beating erratically against his chest.

“Oops,” he heard coming from the other side of the front window. He quickly pushed the grey rubber towards the back of the car, the rubber of the thing groaning and squeaking as he did so. Finally, after wrestling the thing away from him, Harry came into view, face pressed against the other side of the window.

“Hi.” Louis smiled, looking towards Harry, eyes curious. He almost got lost in the way Harry’s face was so cutely pinched, green eyes glowing in the sunlight. He was brought back to reality when Harry tried to move, causing the grey whatever it was to push against Louis again. “What the fuck is this?”

“Uhh... it’s Randy?”

or, Niall is an investigative journalist, Liam is his biggest fan, Zayn is just along for the ride, and Harry probably isn’t an alien. A roadtrip au no one asked for.

sip it slowly and pay attention (12k)

“So I’ve got a guy I think you might like,” Louis says. He’s standing in the doorway of Harry’s office, drinking from what is most definitely Harry’s mug. “You’re going to set me up?” Harry asks, rightfully wary. He can’t imagine that this could end well. “Don’t look so afraid.” Louis takes a sip from his mug, wincing as it burns him. Harry rolls his eyes. He’s always warning Louis to be more patient before he loses all his taste buds. “I know you better than anyone else. Who better to set you up on dates than me?” “I guess you’re right,” Harry says, still slightly hesitant. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Louis, but. He doesn’t trust Louis’ taste. Louis has about the same track record with men that Harry does, if not quite as extensive. or, harry is a guidance counselor, louis is an english teacher, and harry just wants to go on one successful date

i hope that you won’t slip away in the night (13k)

He turns back to Maybe Jessica. “Who’s going to be here?” “Harry Styles,” she says. “The one-” “I know who he is,” Louis snaps. “Who invited him?” “Uh, you did, sir.” Louis didn’t think that was serious. When he had responded to Harry’s cheeky tweet about the gala with his own cheeky ‘You should come - I’ll put you on the guest list’ he hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Least of all for Harry to show up. or the one where louis is a prince and harry is a popstar

feels like we’re finally free (13k)

louis just wants to write a breakup novel. falling in love was never part of the plan, but the cute barista at his favorite coffeeshop makes him think otherwise.

who’s that girl? (13k)

“So, do you want to tell us a little bit more about why you’re here?” “What do you mean?” Harry asks, furrowing his eyebrows together. “I’m here because I need a place to live and you guys need a roommate.” “I guess let me rephrase that,” Leo (or maybe Liam) says. He taps his pen twice against the notepad, drawing Harry’s attention away from a large hole in one of the walls. “Why do you need a place to live?” “Oh, that’s easy.” Harry sits up straighter in his seat. “I walked in on my boyfriend of four years banging my boss. I couldn’t very well keep living with them, could I?” harry is canadian, louis owns a bar, zayn comes and goes as he pleases, liam's just trying to keep everyone alive, and nobody knows what niall does. a new girl au.

we’re not who we used to be (30k)

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit. or an exes to lovers canadian roadtrip au

old macdonald had a farm (5.1k)

Louis is a hedgehog, Harry is a fish, Niall is a parrot, Liam is a golden retriever, and Zayn is Zayn. It’s a crazy twenty-four hours.

or are you giving it to someone else (3.3k)

“Dude, last night I couldn’t tell if he was being murdered or having the best sex of his life,” Louis said, taking a sip of his beer. He tried to say it as quietly as he could in the loud pub, worried about who may overhear him. “Is this your neighbor?” Liam asked. He was newer to the group, and therefore, newer to the situation. He had only heard a handful of the stories about the strange things Louis heard his neighbor doing, as opposed to the book Louis could most definitely write about the man. In the hallways, he seemed perfectly normal. He would smile at Louis and sometimes make polite conversation. He didn’t seem like the type to be having loud, kinky sex every night at the craziest hours of the day. But he was. or, louis hears his neighbor having loud sex through the walls and it's not a problem until it is

The F Word (23k)

When Louis finds himself at a party for the first time after his boyfriend cheated on him, the last person he expects to meet is Harry. They hit it off immediately, conversation flowing all night. Louis finally thinks he’s ready to jump back into the dating scene, when a wrench gets thrown in his plan.

Harry has a boyfriend.

Or, a movie AU based on the F word

tonight’s not over (come over and stay) (16k)

Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment, pausing and worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, he asks, “Have you heard that Cox guy is coming out with a new song?” Louis freezes, fingers hovering over his keyboard where they had been typing his password. “No, I hadn’t,” Louis says truthfully. “Where did you hear that?” “Tell anyone this and I’ll kill you, but I’d consider myself a big fan,” Zayn says. His face doesn’t change in expression, completely serious as he admits this to Louis. “Big fan? Like run a blog and everything?” or, harry is a famous singer and louis is a student who just wants to write his novel

honey, honey (7k)

another sorority au that no one asked for - featuring squirt guns, copious talks of marriage, and more useless lesbians.

fall in love with the moon (and everything beautiful) (10k)

“It’s adorable that you think you can compromise with me on this,” Louis says. He places his hands on his hips and tries his best to look intimidating. “But I am not budging on this. Every book pun you say will result in one quarter in the jar.” “What jar?” Harry asks. He furrows his eyebrows together. Louis rolls his eyes. “Like a swear jar, but now I’m going to make yours ‘Harry’s dumbass pun jar.’ Maybe I’ll have you put a quarter in for every pun you say, not just the ones about books. Niall was right - you tell the worst jokes.” “One time Niall told me I’d never said a funny joke in my life,” Harry says casually. “Funny. He told me that too.” or, louis and harry work in a bookstore together and harry tells dumb jokes and they fall in love

get a little bit nervous (14k)

Liam goes to say something, probably something dumb, but he chokes on his spit, coughing loudly. The man in front of him is one of the prettiest people he’s ever seen in his life; he’s got thick eyelashes that fan out and frame his dark eyes and tanned unblemished skin. Liam forgets all of his previous thoughts. “You okay, mate?” he asks, concern filtering into his voice. “Yeah, yeah,” Liam says, still choking and coughing. “Sorry.” “We all reacted the same way we saw Zayn for the first time,” Niall says from next to him, laughter evident in his tone. “He’s a god, isn’t he?” or, ziam farmer's market au where liam, louis, and niall work at the produce stand, harry and zayn work at the bakery stand, and nobody's straight

i’ve heard it both ways (26k)

“I, uh.” Harry is scrambling, trying to think of something believable on the spot. He remembers the woman from reception and her phone call and says the only thing he can think of. “I’m a psychic.” Everyone stills. Zayn laughs, Detective Edwards looks confused, and the officer holding the door open looks mildly frightened. “A psychic?” Zayn gets out between his laughs. “I’ve heard it all. You’re definitely spending the night in the holding cell now. You’re wasting all of our time here.” an au based on the tv show psych where harry is shawn, louis is jules, liam is gus, niall is mcnabb, and zayn is lassie.

i just know you (got to taste like candy) (3.9k)

Harry seduces the cute cell phone repair girl with her phone's wallpaper.

i just want you to dance with me tonight (7.6k)

The sorority au no one asked for. Featuring a prank war, Lirry friendship, and useless lesbians.

beautiful wreck, colorful mess (4.4k)

Harry's been desperate to try out the toys she bought for her and Louis.

she says she doesn’t love me (don’t believe her) (17k)

Harry is a disaster gay who works in a coffee shop and Louis doesn't want to admit she's in love.

only you know me (4.5k)

“It’s just unfair.” Louis can’t help her complaining. “You always get these opportunities I would die for to throw parties. I’ve got, like, a billion siblings, so I never get the house to myself. You’re home alone at least three times a semester. Your parents wouldn’t even be mad or anything.” “That’s not even the point,” Harry says, calmly and evenly. Sometimes it’s frustrating to Louis just how easily Harry keeps her calm. “And what is?” Louis asks, throwing a goldfish cracker in Harry’s direction. It misses. “That I don’t want to.” - Based on the prompt, "Nothing really specific just a harry/Louis sleepover while Harry's parents are out of town involving sexy lady times? "

[nahimjustaworm]

These Hands Can’t Hold His Heart

BakuDeku Fanfic

By WorminaWall on AO3

30k

9 Chapters - Completed

Angst | Pining | Time Skips | Eventual Happy Ending

Rated M

Chapter One

Bakugou is no stranger to pain.

Given his Quirk, pain is a part of his DNA. His climb to the top of his third year class has come with plenty of scrapes and bruises and he’s familiar with hurting other people. Pain, in varying degrees, from varying people, has been part of his life since he was a child. He likes to think that he’s pretty good at tolerating it. He’s not some fucking crybaby who can’t take a punch. He can handle it, and he can hide it. He’s gotten good at hiding it- years of practice helps with that- so much so that he sometimes forgets he feels pain at all.

Sometimes, though, that pain bubbles up in unexpected moments and knocks him off guard. It’s not like any pain he’s ever experienced before, but he’s familiar with it. It doesn’t come in the form of a punch, or a blast, or anything of the sort. Its weapon is shy laughs, determined eyes, freckled cheeks and crooked fingers. A sideways glance. A voice saying a name he has no right being called anymore. The pain of this doesn’t cut him like a knife, it’s not sharp and quick, it emerges from inside his chest, an innate part of him, squeezing his insides until he feels like he can’t breathe. Sometimes it only lasts for a moment, once the glance has been broken, or the freckles turn away. Sometimes it lasts into the night, where he’s laying on his bed, curled up on his side, clutching around his body like he wants to crush that dull ache out of him or help it finish him off.

Bakugou is no stranger to pain.

He doesn’t know if it’s easier now- nearly three years of living in close proximity, two years of them sorting their shit out, one year of a mutual pact to try being “friends” again. The verdict is out on whether or not he prefers this to their constant fights and outward intolerance of each other. It’s taken them what seems like a lifetime to go back to being able to stand next to each other without starting an argument.

There are times where he thinks he preferred the way it was. The times when Deku smiles after Katsuki says something funny, or when he’s the first person the other tells when he’s figured out a new move, or when his shoulder brushes up against his own when they’re sitting on the couch.

There are also times where he’s convinced that what they are now is better. The times when Deku’s smile makes his eyes crinkle after he says something funny, or how excited he gets when he tells him he’s figured out a new move, or when his shoulder brushes up against his own when they’re sitting on the couch.

Hate is an easier emotion to fake than love is to feel.

-----

Everything is going fine until it’s not. Katsuki’s been hiding the pain that has buried its roots inside him for years, but he’s forgotten that pain like this is a disease and other people carry it too. Hell, he’s the one that sowed it.

Moments of weakness unearth buried memories- trauma reveals trauma. They’re only a few months into being Pro-Heroes, and after everything that’s happened to them, they forget that this world is still new to them. They forget until one day Deku’s staring frozen at the spot where a living, breathing human just was two seconds ago and now they’re not. Katsuki’s not there to see it happen- he works in a different district- but he hears the news report about civilian casualties where Deku is and knows that the other is not okay.

Deku comes stumbling into his apartment later that night, uniform still on, gore and dust still covering him.

“What the hell, Deku?” He says, the usual heat not there in his voice. He stands up, ready to force the other to go home and take a damn shower, when the look in those green eyes locks him in place. They’re unfocused, unseeing, haunted. He’s never seen them look like that before.

“You should have let me do it,” he mumbles, voice hoarse. Katsuki winces slightly at the sound of it.

“Do what, what are you talking-”

“The roof. You should’ve let me jump.” Katsuki’s blood runs cold. He’s buried that memory so far inside him that the feeling of it resurfacing is enough to knock the wind out of him. Words he never meant to say ringing inside his head again.

“Why’re you bringing that up now?” He asks, voice weaker than he’s heard it in a long time. They’ve put a lot of things behind them, an unspoken agreement when they decided they’d try being friends again. Ever since that day, they hadn’t talked about it.

“How can I call myself a hero if I let that happen to that woman. How can I ever be worthy of All Might’s power when I can’t even save someone right in front of me?!” He’s looking up at him now, frantic, like a wounded animal. He’s clutching his chest so tightly that Bakugou can practically feel the bite of Deku’s nails on his own skin. “You shouldn’t have ever saved me- I’m not the hero that All Might thought I was! You were right, why did you have to-”

Izuku’s cut short when Katsuki yanks him into a crushing hug. 

“Don’t fucking say that.” He hears Izuku inhale a shaking breath to protest, but continues. “You’re only human, not even All Might could save everyone every single time.”

“One for All was wasted on me.” He grips onto the back of Katsuki’s shirt as his tears flow freely. “I’m worthless.”

His voice is so small, like they’re back in middle school again. He hates it, it’s like a slap to the face, a testament to the person he was, the person that planted the seed of doubt inside his childhood friend’s head and tended to it so carefully and meticulously until it blossomed into something ugly.

“This isn’t your fault. It happens to every Pro.”

“I’m not just any person, Kacchan! I’m his successor, I’m supposed to save everyone, how can anyone believe in me if I’ve fucked up this fast!” He’s practically screaming, but it’s muffled by Katsuki’s shirt.

“There wasn’t anything you could do- no, shut up. I know people say that when they’re tryin’ to bullshit you, but I'm not a fucking liar. I saw the footage, you were hit with a binding Quirk. You were lucky you weren’t hit by debris too.” Izuku flinches at that, no doubt replaying the scene in his head. Katsuki tightens his grip, not realizing what he's doing. “Go take a fucking shower.”

He releases his hold, but keeps one hand on his shoulder. For an instant he’s being taken back to a familiar position in an empty classroom.

“All Might's never had any regrets choosing you. And you need to stop thinkin’ you’ve got to do this all on your own.” He removes his hand and straightens up. “Go take a shower. I’ll get you a change of clothes.”

“Y-you don’t mind…?” You don’t mind me being here right now? You don’t mind me being in your space unannounced, despite how many times you’ve pushed me away, despite how many times I’ve had doors slammed in my face? All this goes unsaid, but he knows the other is thinking it. Nothing is going to make him stop thinking that things haven’t completely changed- no matter how many times they do this.

“You think I’m going to send you out looking like that, nerd? The press would go ape shit.”

Izuku smiles meekly. “Thanks, Kacchan.”

After he’s clean they lie on the bed next to each other, staring blankly at the ceiling, and Katsuki feels that crushing weight on his chest again. He’s good at hiding it, but that doesn’t mean it ever goes away.

“Kacchan, why did you do it?” He knows what he’s inferring, he had hoped the other would let it go. It’s just a reminder that there’s this void between them still, this gaping hole where the past should be but he ripped it to shred years ago when he had said those unforgivable words and now the hole is bleeding out again or maybe it never cauterized in the first place-

“You know why,” is his response. The weight of those words is crushing- the implications damning, and he knows that deep down Izuku knows what the connotation is.

The shorter boy- man? Are they men now?- hums his reply. They lie there, their hands mere inches away from each other. They used to hold hands. When did they stop? Who initiated their last gentle contact? He knows the answer to that.

“Why do you keep coming back to me?” He whispers finally, almost hoping the other is already asleep. This question doesn’t mean the same thing it did their first year at U.A. 

“You know why.”

Silence envelops them like an old friend.

----

The first year goes by and before he knows it he’s sitting on Shitty Hair’s couch with a cup of something in his hand, half listening to Sero go on about a villain fight he had earlier that week. Most of former class 3-A is here- Katsuki isn’t really keeping track- only knowing that a particular green haired nerd doesn’t seem to have arrived yet. He’s got his elbow on the arm of the chair, chin casually propped up in his hand, eyes slowly surveying the little party Mina’s gathered together. He doesn't know how exactly he ended up here- there was a bribe involved he thinks- but the alcohol is making his head fuzzy and he’s just grateful tomorrow is his day off.

“You know, you’ve sure mellowed out since we met.” Kirishima plops down next to him, drink sloshing around in his cup.

“The fuck are you sayin'?” He grumbles into his palm. Shitty Hair just laughs.

“See, if I would have said anything like that two years ago I would’ve gotten blasted in the face.”

“Too many witnesses,” he replies. They both know it’s a lame excuse- Katsuki’s never given a shit what other people think of him. Well, most other people.

“Yeah okay.” He grins at him. “I’m just saying, before you would have never agreed to come to a party with all of these ‘extras’. I’m really glad you’re here.”

“‘M gettin’ more booze,” is his reply, and he slightly stumbles his way into the kitchen where a makeshift bar has been set up. He’s just finished making his “cocktail”, if it could be called that, when he hears him.

“Sorry I’m late guys.” Katsuki’s not looking over at him yet, but he just knows he’s bashfully rubbing the back of his head. “I just got off my shift.”

He hears Round Face bumble on about something to him, and suddenly he feels nauseated. He wants to back out, change his mind about coming, make up some excuse about needing to leave, fake a villain attack, do something that removes him from this room that’s suddenly shrunk in size. He’s no coward, but the alcohol is muddying up his brain, settling uncomfortably in his stomach, and he doesn’t trust himself to act in his best interest.

He’s considering just escaping out the hallway window when he hears, “Kacchan!” spoken from across the room.

“Excuse me,” he politely says to his friend, his eyes crinkling in the way that makes Katsuki want to punch something. He approaches the other with a smile so genuine Katsuki is sure something's going to get punched now. “I didn’t think you were going to show up!”

He’s not sure how to reply. He calculates the answers in his head, formulating his options, knowing that the easiest is anger or irritation, but the default isn’t what he should choose. He wants to be defensive- he sure doesn’t want to admit the real reason he showed up to be surrounded by a bunch of people he doesn’t give a fuck about.

“N-not that I’m not happy you’re here! I’m glad you showed up! I’m just surprised because Kacchan usually avoids large groups of people, and he hasn’t been in contact with many of us since graduation. It’s interesting that he decided to come today, though maybe because it’s a special occasion and he wants to-”

“Oi, you’re mumbling.”

“Sorry.” He smiles shyly and scratches his cheek. “It’s… it’s nice to see you.”

Pain.

Chest tightening, breath faltering, palms sweating, throat closing- pain, why is there nothing but pain when I see you I can’t stand this pain anymore just stay the fuck away from me so I don’t feel this way I can’t do it-

He downs the rest of his drink. “Yeah, whatever.”

He doesn’t know why he stays. He should have left the moment he had the chance- he shouldn’t’ve come in the first place. He’s screaming at himself inside his head, but his body is moving on its own- he’s pouring more drinks, he’s sitting on the couch, he’s leaning in to conversations he has no right stealing, he’s laughing, he’s stumbling outside with him, he’s walking down the sidewalk, grabbing a scarred arm, pushing his body against the door, fumbling keys, stripping clothes, grabbing at hair, and why the fuck are you doing this you need to stop this why aren’t you listening you fucking idiot how could you do this?!

When he wakes in the morning he instantly runs to the bathroom to retch. Despite purging his insides, he still feels rotted out. He’s pathetic and disgusting and unworthy and selfish and he wants nothing more than to lay on the forest floor and let the moss feast on his rot.

Deku is already gone.

Read the completed fic here >

[pertinax--loculos]

Weekly Update

Currently Writing Absent That Night (tagged: WIP: ATN)

wordcount this week: 6,839

total wordcount: 30,126

seriously considering giving myself a deadline on this, just to see what happens. I imagine with my tendency to overwrite + fantasy=worldbuilding, I'm looking at about a 150k draft. Tentatively thinking end of September 'deadline' (mayhaps October NaNo prep? for the next idea which I already have ugh). Will make a proper post about this sometime this week, maybe.

highlight: Latrell, flailing: YOU ARE A CrImInAl!! Nox: I steal only from the rich and use every cent I have left over after [redacted] to a) survive and b) help disadvantaged populations in this cesspool of a city Nox: I'm basically fuckin Robin Hood

my brain is cranking overtime on plot -- finally nailed down the third murder victim/midpoint twist, figured out how it plays into the Murderer's overall goal, and have scenes planned up to the catalyst. Next week is ideas for fun and games win/loss cycle, clues and red herrings and all that jazz

my first (main?) job is fortunately very cruisy in that the boss will only yell at me if I'm scribbling notes for, like, a full hour. Managed to get a fair whack of scene ideas/planning done there this week. My second job (!!) is gonna be pretty braindead but is for a large company, a situation in which I've never worked (only family owned businesses til now!). So although I'll have time to think, I'm a little wary about how it'll go without me being able to write it down immediately. We'll see how I go

very happy with how it's coming along despite the fact it's taken me 30k to reach the catalyst and I'm genuinely unsure if it's because I have a proper end point/scene I'm working towards. That will definitely need thinking on if I manage to keep up the momentum over the next couple of months and actually finish the damned draft, so it's something to file away

haven't written as much as I would've liked over the last few days, as I've been distracted by Crafting and also, just, being insane. Gonna try and get into a bit more of a rhythm again this week. Still written lots of notes that I don't count in the wordcount! So not all bad

Currently Reading The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater, book three of the Raven Cycle

I don't know if it's just me but I feel like the voice in this one has changed...? Or maybe I'm just not concentrating as much as I had been

still enjoying it! Though looking forward to getting to the end and getting back into thrillers

I quite like the way introspection is done, because it feels seamless yet still gives you a lot of info about the characters. Also the kisses! Going back to book two as well, I enjoy the way Stiefvater doesn't necessarily describe the physical act but instead does it through feelings. Very impressive, note taken

about 50% through I think? So should be finishing it up this week

Real Life

my state is now in a statewide lockdown. It's not awful cuz I can get money and I spend a lot of time in my room anyway, but I'm paranoid about my first shift at my new (essential) job and also I'm stuck in a house with the Bitch for (at least) seven days ughghgh

but! New job! New excellent job that will help with finances and next year and fits my schedule and, just, wow, so thankful

naturally I'm paranoid it's all gonna change/it's a joke/mistake. I just wanna get the first shift over with tomorrow please I hope it's gonna be okay

health kick is ongoing. Challenge this week is to not lose momentum through lockdown, and also not eat everything in reach just because I'm bored

Excerpt

feat. Latrell being a pain in the ass and thinking he knows everything (spoiler: this bites him in the ass hard):

Latrell subsided, nodding a little. He still wasn't happy, but this wasn't his operation. He and Albie were just along for the ride, extra manpower in case something went down, proximity in case they got lucky and could learn something about Nox. Not ideal, but as good as he was going to get.

Albie gave him an exasperated look as Turner finally continued outlining the operation. Latrell sipped his coffee, not reacting, steadfastly avoiding her gaze.

"You," Albie said, quietly enough that Latrell had to strain to hear her beneath Turner's drone, "Are the absolute worst."

Latrell kept his eyes straight ahead still, but this time, he smirked.

[iatheia]

EDA reviews Part 1 - books 1-9

I’ve decided to take a bit of a break from the black hole that is Big Finish (I’m more than half way through listening to their library, but, oh, god, it feels like they will never end at times) and venture into another black hole that are the novels. Eighth Doctor Adventures seemed like a good place to start. I’ve committed to reading all of them (no matter how tempting it will inevitably get to skip some). Since they are not talked about as much as some of the other EU iterations out there, I’ve figured I’ll write short blurbs as a reviews - with 73 novels in total, would probably post them collated every 9 books or so.

Also, Since this is kind of a meme for Eight, couple of novels convinced me doing amnesia watches together with the reviews. #1 was in the movie. 1) Eight Doctors - well, this kind of was a waste of time. Just a run through of the greatest hits of previous Doctors with varying degree of success in terms of doing their characters justice (which they didn’t give good ol’ Sixie at all). Eight is barely a caricature of his self, nevermind that this is his second outing ever. Absolutely terrible way to introduce Sam, she is literally in just three scenes. 6/10 Amnesia watch: #2 & 3 (twice in a span of 5 minutes, once from the Master, once from being hit on the head, setting the record high off the bat!)

2) Vampire Science - Well, bringing Sam to a (gay?) bar in 1970′s right off the bat where she chats up another girl was absolutely A Choice that this novel has made, and I respect it for that. As for the rest... Eight is starting to become himself, but he is still written a bit like Seven at times. The plot is a bit mess, and, especially in conjunction with the previous novel, there are officially too many vampires. It gets more entertaining towards the back end of it. A decent enough read, even though a bit of an oddity. 8/10

3) The Bodysnatchers - Now we are getting into something juicy! Throughly enjoyable from beginning to end, excellent character work on Eight and Sam. 9/10

4) Genocide - Ah, casual attempt of sexual assault on a companion, how original. Overall, completely meh. Too many characters, too many settings, overly convoluted, back to chess master Doctor, completely missing the point of bringing up legacy characters in the most pointless way. 4/10

5) War of the Daleks - This was, apparently, the first Dalek story in the novel form? They didn’t have one for VNAs??? Almost impossible to believe. Well, the story is a bit trite, a convoluted set up that was seen a thousands of times now, especially with the over-saturation of the Daleks in the recent years. But, the story is a lively one. There are definitely worse ones featuring Daleks out there. 8/10

6) Alien Bodies - blimey, haven’t read such pretentious dribble in a long while... Too self-absorbed in this grandiose masterplan that is about to unfold to worry much about character stuff, that I gave up trying to keep track of after a while. Except, that grandiose masterplan is exposed in such a way that it’s literally in a book that the Doctor carries, handing it to Sam the second she starts asking questions, and then she immediately throws the book away.... Overall, Eight has never been less likable. Sam is reduced to nothing more than a screaming damsel in distress - that’s putting it generously. The less that could be said about everyone and everything around them the better. And the worst of all, it’s boring, the prose is pretty banal, too much exposition, and it rambles on and on and on... Judging by the word count this is the second longest book out of all EDAs (the longest, third, and fourth longest are also by the same writer, they are a good 20-30K words longer than anyone else’s). If it had any heart and soul in it at all, it’d be one thing, but it’s like pulling teeth. Really makes me apprehensive about the rest of the Faction Paradox cropping up in other novels, and certainly all the other novels by him... 3/10 Amnesia watch: #4 (kind of, remembering stuff from the previous amnesias)

7) Kursaal - Boringly mediocre. It starts off not horrible by any means, has decent characterization, and at moments even verges on something exciting, but those moments are embedded into a somewhat middling adventure. And then it flies off the rails into the uncanny. And, um... no. Just no. 5/10

8) Option Lock - This story is too grandiose for its own good. Just as I settled in for some shenanigans in a mysterious quaint English mansion, I was slapped in a face with an international political thriller. Any time there was a change of setting or a time skip, it was disorienting. And was that a stray Stargate reference I caught? It would have been better served as a Stargate novel, I’ll be honest. After all the set up is over and done with, it’s a bit easier to follow, not terribly written either. But it’s a bit blink and you miss it - is it the second time Sam was responsible for someone’s death, kind of, under mind control? Not sure I like the trend that is starting to emerge.  6/10

9) Longest Day - Starting off right of the bat with misogyny, stalking, and violence against women, frequently from the titillating point of view of a self proclaimed “nice guy”.... It’s actually not that badly written. The prose is solid, the plot is easy to follow, it’s pretty emotionally complex, the ending is pretty gut-wrenching. I just wish it had less attempted rape and later gratuitous gore that soured me a bit on the story 7/10

Overall impressions so far: Well, these novels (certainly so far) are very much a mixed bag. A couple of more enjoyable ones, but their main virtue is being inoffensively charming. The rest are... less so. Some authors seem to have a clear grasp of Eight’s character straight from the get go, but not all of them do. 

Sam is nice enough, as far as companions are concerned, but often she comes across too much like Ace but without explosives - I don’t really know what makes her tick beyond that. It is not a small part due to different writers slotting in for their own idea what a companion should be. You have a slew of younger sister/niece/student/friend/just a dash romantically involved/barely there at all, depending on the novel. In that manner, there doesn’t seem to be a unifying vision for the novels, each writer just does their own thing.

Next part here

[ahiddenpath]

Life Talk

1.)  I won Nanowrimo

2.)  My house is sold

3.)  I’m tryyyyyyying to taking it easy

More below the cut.

So, I won Nanowrimo.  It’s roughly 30K Four Years and 20K Tri: Integrity Lens.  I feel very... blank about it, though.  In the last few years, I’ve been trying to celebrate when I win Nanowrimo, but...  I don’t have any emotions about it this year, probably even less than usual.

I should probably back up and say that, when I was growing up, I was the type that got all As, won every contest, was the lead in plays and singing events, got the good behavior awards, won state-wide science and poetry contests, was on the select sports teams.  I’m not saying this to brag- I was hyper-involved in school and extracurriculars because it kept me away from home.  

It got to the point at home where, if I won an award, the reaction was, “good.”  If I didn’t, it was, “Why didn’t you win that award?  We don’t have money for tutoring, so you had better figure it out *vague threat* ”  Stuff like that.

Basically, it’s hard for me to feel proud of anything.  If I succeed, that’s “baseline.”  Good, I won’t be scolded.  If I don’t, that’s anxiety- “I will be scolded, I will be punished.”  

I can’t change that concept as an adult- it was cemented into me during my formative years.  But I can see it, and I can tell myself- it’s okay.  Don’t beat yourself up over not feeling a certain way.

The big thing on my mind now, still, is that we sold our first home successfully a few days ago.  It’s the most enormous load off my mind.  This whole time, I’ve been wondering- I keep pinning everything on when the house is sold.  Will it actually be a relief?  Will it actually free up emotional and mental real estate?

SPOILER ALERT: IT DID, I FEEL GREAT!  

I told my therapist that I couldn’t feel “at home” and “settled” until I sold the old house, and she challenged me to not wait for some kind of...  Permission?  Catalyst?  Like, don’t put things off citing “my old home isn’t sold” as a reason, because suddenly, a year will have passed and you still haven’t painted your room or put up photos or turned the house into your home.

I absolutely see her point, but I also see mine.  Frankly, now that I’m not paying for two mortgages, I can afford to do some of that stuff (buy paint and supplies, buy a rug, buy a lamp, etc).  It is true that I could have hung my photos at any time, so that was just a mental/stress block, but I do think that pointing to the money that was tied up in paying the mortgages for both homes, and for repairing things at the old home at the buyer’s demand, was... you know, a valid reason not to be throwing money at our current home.

Right now, my anxiety is free to be directed at the fact that the CDC is forecasting such drastic pandemic leaps.  It’s expected to hit in about 10-ish days after today, 11/29, a Sunday that will likely be the largest single day for travel as people head back home in droves to make it to work on Monday after going away for Thanksgiving.  It’s expected that we’ll be seeing 4,000 covid deaths per day in the states around week 2/3 of December.

I really don’t want to go to work physically, because I know coworkers who travelled.  I wish we could all stay home for two weeks, when the symptoms will show for carriers who are not asymptomatic.  I will definitely be limiting my time in the office to after 3 PM, when a lot of coworkers have gone home.  It’s still a risk that I’m not sure is worthwhile.  

Ah!  I should probably say that my therapist is talking about ending therapy.  I started in... I wanna say March or April of 2019?  Is that right?  So I guess it’s been...  Like, 19-ish months?  I’ve learned so much, but I would say...  The biggest difference is that I can see my behavior patterns for what they are, and then decide what to do with them.  I haven’t “changed” at my core.  I can’t, not in the way people mean when they say “you’ve changed.”  The same learned behaviors, belief systems, and emotions from my childhood are there.  I just recognize them when they pop up and can make informed decisions about how to approach them.  

Which, it turns out, makes a huge difference, even if it isn’t really “change.”  I’m always in danger of being too distraught to see what’s in front of my face, though (thanks, anxiety!).

What else...  My husband and I did cheese fondue and hot pot for Thanksgiving!  It was easily the best holiday I’ve ever had.  Holidays are always... so high pressure, always such events that turn a day off into a giant list of chores that might span weeks to complete beforehand.  Plus, I’m always hoping I’m not about to be dragged into some kind of “trap” conversation by both my family and my husband’s, who have very different political views compared to me.

But on Thanksgiving, my husband and I ate amazing food, spent a lot of time together, and I felt so loved and cared for and valued, because my husband came up with the idea and made it happen, all so we’d have a nice holiday together.  Honestly, I don’t deserve him.  I don’t get it.  He’s so amazing?  I love him so much.

As for my writing, I’ve been feeling...  Bad about it, frankly.  I think it’s partially because it honestly looks like no one is reading Tri: Integrity Lens.  I don’t get it?  It was my most requested story in 2018/2019, and I know people wanted a sequel to Growing Up with You, so why is TIL doing so poorly?  At first, I thought people were going back to read GUWY again first, since I saw a huge surge in hits for it.  Now, I’m not sure?  Like, if I open my stats, some random GUWY chapters will have over 10 times the hits as the newest TIL chapter???  ???? ????  ????  ?????

I’m wondering if it has to do with Tri itself...  I think that, the more time passed, the more people who liked Tri are maybe defensive about how... negative the fandom reaction was, overall.  Meanwhile, people who dislike it, I think, have maybe simply... chucked it out the window, and don’t think about it much.  Whereas, when it was still coming out and directly after it wrapped up, I think people who disliked Tri were more interested in imagining ways they might have personally tweaked it.

That makes things awkward for someone like me, who thinks Tri has amazing moments basically... tacked onto a crumbling base.  

Actually, let me give you my weird metaphor for Tri!

When I am deciding if I’m going to write a new fic, often what happens is...  A few powerful ideas coalesce, a few themes and characterizations.  Some people say they are lead by a few powerful scenes.  I think of these ideas/themes/character ideas (or scenes for other people) as sparkling ornaments on a Christmas tree.

The problem is that...  Ornaments in a box don’t... do much.  You need to display them on a tree, right?  The ornaments need to be connected and supported by a plot (unless you decide to write a focused oneshot, which is my recommendation in most cases).

In short: Tri has amazing ornaments, but the tree is... not... doing that well.  The ideas are there, there are plenty of awesome moments, but something about the actual story/execution just...  Didn’t do it for me.  But dang, those are some nice ornaments!

That was quick and dirty, but hopefully it conveyed the general idea.  

ANYWAY, I’ve been trying to decide if I’m going to continue TIL.  I think right now, I would definitely finish Ketsui, since I have so much material written already.  Why waste it, right?  But I’m not sure what the future of the story will be- not plot wise, but rather, “is my time better spent elsewhere”-wise.

I’m not sure if I need to focus on a new story, if I should take a break, or what.  I need to write for my mental health, but it doesn’t have to be a fanfic.  It can be anything, as long as I explore whatever is eating at me.

And that is where I am!  I hope you’re all staying safe <3

[seeaddywrite]

yunmeng bros reconciliation fic rec list (part I)

jiang cheng & wei wuxian reconciliation fics are my favorites, so i thought i’d share some of the hundreds i’ve read in the past few months. please make sure to check the tags in each fic to make sure you’re comfortable. also, if you didn’t notice, i prefer longer fics, so most of these are long. 

i’m calling this part one because i will most likely revisit this as i read more fic. feel free to add your own -- i’m always looking for more, myself! 

under the cut, because it’s a long post.

Jiang Cheng is Trying series by CaptainJoJo (100k+)

“They've been ripped apart for so long, Jiang Cheng doesn't know if there's anything left to salvage.”

this series starts out good, & by the end, is absolutely phenomenal. the most recent installment is called Soft Stones & it’s one of those fics i wish i could erase from my brain so i could read it over and over -- it’s so good. there’s a lot of JC character development, a scene where WWX learns about JC’s sacrifice & so much emotional resonance throughout. plus, bonus JC & Wen Ning friendship?? i just. really love this fic, okay? i think it’s probably my favorite in this genre.

no one lights a candle to remember by asravine (~8k)

““Didi,” Wei Wuxian says softly. His thumb on Jiang Cheng’s cheek is calloused and warm and burns of affection. Jiang Cheng barely stops himself from leaning in. “Didi, don’t cry because of me.”

I have thirteen years of mourning to catch up to, Jiang Cheng thinks, but doesn’t say. As always, the chasm between them is an incredible divide, and Wei Wuxian is the only one leaning his hand out into the darkness.”

the best part of this fic involves Lan Wangji asking JC for his blessing, & that’s all i’m going to say aside from this fic is shorter, but incredibly impactful & wonderful.

some good mistakes by Lise (~18k)

“Wei Wuxian has been wandering alone for six months when he suddenly stops writing. This is deeply concerning to at least a few people. Jiang Cheng is not among them.

No, really, he's not.

(Or, the one where Wei Wuxian vanishes and Lan Wangji, reluctantly, asks for Jiang Cheng's help tracking him down.)”

Lan Zhan & Jiang Cheng have to work together to find & rescue Wei Wuxian. it’s about as awkward as it sounds. important conversations are had, WWX is rescued, there is a hopeful ending, & it’s just wonderful.

everyone else is spring bound by Lise (~18k)

“Jiang Cheng takes a few deep breaths and tries to put his life back together. This is easier said than done.”

another excellent fic by Lise. i think my favorite part of this one is everything Jiang Cheng can’t bring himself to say out loud. 

Death of a Ghost by Gotcocomilk (100k+)

“There was a ghost that haunted the decks of Lotus Pier, it was said. If you stepped across the wooden planks at night, walked along the endless docks and flying purple banners, he would appear.

He was always in darkest black, dressed as specter and shadow. In the emptiness where a face should be was a thick fog, features washed away and leaving behind only glimmering red eyes.

He looked ferocious as a ghoul, it was said.

Jin Ling thought he looked sad.”

i don’t even know where to start with this one, y’all. it was a wild ride. WWX is haunting Lotus Pier & looks after Jin Ling. Reconciliation. Family feelings. Wangxian. Angst & fluff & a truly satisfying ending. One of my overall faves.

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart (400k+)

“Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie MingJue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.

Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end?

Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.”

holy shit, where do i even start with this one. it’s primarily Xichen/JC, so if that’s not your thing, i’m sorry -- but. BUT. there are some absolutely gorgeous jiang cheng & wwx scenes. they talk about the golden core swap. wwx eavesdrops & learns about things he didn’t know from JC’s end, & it definitely counts as a reconciliation fic even if that’s not the main plotline. also, one of my overall faves, not just in this genre but the entire fandom. so. flipping. good. 

The Heart’s Reasoning by flowercity (11k+)

“Jiang Cheng was absolutely certain that when push came to shove, he would be the one to drive the fatal blow into Wei Wuxian. But now that the man is actually dying in front of him, only one thought rushes to his head: that he will not let this happen.

That day in the Burial Mounds, Jiang Cheng makes a selfish choice.”

Canon Divergent -- basically, JC saves WWX before he dies. Baby Jin Ling. angst & happiness & good stuff. 

before you stumble by anonymous (~10k)

“ “Uncle,” Jin Ling says. “Just because Uncle Wei - I mean, Wei Wuxian - just because he’s leading the night-hunt, he’s teaching, he’s not doing anything wrong, he even notified you ahead of time -”

The thing is, it is the polite thing to do. Whatever the Lan Sect are after in the night-hunt doesn’t have anything to do with Jiang Cheng, but now that they’re about to enter Yunmeng, it is the polite and proper thing to do, to notify the sect leader of the fact. The letter is simply such: letting Jiang Wanyin, the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader, know that they’re here. It’s simply - official correspondence.

Maybe that’s the part that rankles the worst, Jiang Cheng thinks. Official correspondence, written to him in a hand more familiar than his own.”

this is a case fic in which both WWX & JC are idiots, but work together with the juniors involved. there’s a lot of bickering, a metaphor, & a hopeful ending, & it’s great!

JC & WWX’s Get Along Sweater (series) by newamsterdam (~30k)

“Convinced Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian will never reconcile of their own accord, Jin Ling takes matters into his own hands by trapping both of his uncles alone, together, without their cultivation.”

i think this is the very first MDZS fic i read when i finished the drama, & it’s still one of the ones i remember most. it’s just -- impactful. Jiang Cheng made WWX a promise about dogs and he does his best to keep it, & i just. wow. 

And Time is But a Paper Moon by sami (120k+, WIP) 

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened."

Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal.

"You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?"

Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now."

Time travel fic! there are million more of them, but not all do much for JC & WWX. this one isn’t necessarily a reconciliation because WWX goes back in time and makes sure they never abandon each other, but it’s got some really great scenes for the two of them, & JC has to deal with WWX’s memories of his old self & the sacrifices he made for him then, & it’s just a really wonderful fic all around. it’s currently a WIP but it’s updated three times a week & the author’s finished it already. :)

[smallblueandloud]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 for the writing ask- I AM SO SORRY I COULDNT STOP!!! xoxo

aaaah these questions look SO GOOD thank you so much <3 <3 for this ask meme, which will be open all weekend!

1. tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

i pulled open all of my WIP google docs for this and my laptop started whirring ominously, lmao. this is going to be a Little Long but i love talking about my wips so who cares!! (under the cut because EXCERPTS)

guys and dolls but gay - very, very casual rewrite of guys and dolls if sky masterson was a woman. i’m loving how chill i’m being about this one because it’s so much fun to not have to worry how i’m going to write lyrics in a not-weird way and just focus on the story. this one’s first because it’s theoretically closest to being finished.

sky, laughing: “oh? people. all the people you turn down every day. well, i imagine there’s someone out there that’ll catch your eye.”

sarah, stiffening: “...yes, there will be.”

sky: “and what might this person be like?”

sarah: “he will not be a gambler, for one.”

sky does not miss the pointed pronoun. “i’m not interested in what he won’t be, i’m interested in what he will be.” she sits down on the desk, in a pointedly masculine pose, and sets her fedora next to her - at her most Hot Queer, basically. “how will you know when he gets to you?”

my fic for the aos rarepair fic exchange - i can’t give any plot or ship details, for obvious reasons, but it’s 1.3k and i’m having fun with it!

steven roadtrip of destiny - canon divergent fic set at the end of steven universe future where steven goes on a roadtrip instead of... canon. it deals with some heavy emotions and it’s also a character study so it’s tentatively shelved until i get around to rewatching suf. but i am projecting on steven like crazy and it’s really, really cathartic. it’s taught me a lot about myself too lmao.

He’s never been anonymous before. He kind of likes it. It means he can fold his arms on the table and put his head down without Pearl worrying about his posture, or someone asking him if something’s okay.

In the last few months, he’s grown to hate people asking him how he’s doing, or if he’s okay. He always ends up lying, because he doesn’t want to worry them, and he ends up feeling worse.

Probably because it’s more of him supporting other people without supporting himself.

He should have told someone how he was feeling. He should have reached out. Sadie could’ve helped him. Lars would’ve listened. Connie would have hugged him and then found him the appropriate mental health professional.

(God, Steven wants a hug. Also the appropriate mental health professional? Whoever that would be.)

untitled aos fic - i don’t want to give a lot of details because :eye emoji: and also i don’t know much about what the plot of this is going to be anyway, lmao. but here’s an excerpt:

daisy “that actor who doesn’t shut up about data harvesting” johnson (@daisyquake) tweeted: two weeks :eyes emoji:

Elena Rodriguez | Seven Cents S2 Streaming On Netflix Now! (@yoyorodriguez) retweeted and added: the problem with being friends with daisy is that you SHOULD have some insight into what her tweets mean but you still have no idea

Fitz (@justfitz) retweeted and added: Try being married to her

untitled star wars twins fic - because i am a total and massive nerd. i’m just kind of stuffing everything i have feels about from the post-anh era into this and planning on figuring it out later? i’m really loving talking about the culture of alderaan (and the culture of the survivors) and also i just love writing luke and leia’s relationship... so much......

(no excerpt for that one because i’ve basically posted all of it in various posts lmao)

aos ds9 au - i’ve posted a LOT about this already and i want to keep the plot a surprise but fsk is in this and married and half the cast is aliens, what else do you need in life.

“Good morning,” says Jemma, coming into the room with her hair wet and her uniform crooked. “Hello, darling.”

“Hi,” says Daisy, turning her face up for a kiss. Jemma obliges absently as she walks past, looking around the room.

“Has anyone seen my hair clip?”

“No,” say Fitz and Daisy in unison.

and of course, last but never least in my heart, chapter 3 of the magnum opus - writing this is on hold until my brain decides to stop hitting me over the head at every possible moment, but there’s like... 2k written so far? it’s. it’s going.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Coulson, and makes quick work of the right gauntlet. It’s only halfway through the left one that his fingers slow and he says, quietly, “Simmons designed these, didn’t she?”

She lets out a quick breath. “Yeah.”

He stays quiet for a few more seconds, finishing up the last of the straps, making sure they’re tight enough. Finally, he says, “She should be helping you with these.”

Daisy pulls her arms back and swallows down some words, or maybe a couple of feelings, or maybe a sob. “Yeah, well.”

2. tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

the last sentence of the magnum opus!!!!!!!!!!

no, lmao, i’m gonna try to be serious. i really, really want to write some librarians fic in the near future? also MORE OF THE SENSE8 AU. i’m DYING to write some stuff about that. especially sam’s cluster, for some reason? Let’s Make Him Suffer (Comedically)! one day i’m gonna finish that list of what cluster/situation each song is about and then it’ll be over for all of us!

3. what is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

i spent about eight months imagining a scene where riza hawkeye was really injured and mustang was holding her in his arms (basically the promised day scene but with more privacy) so does that count?

hmm, just for some other possibilities: glinda telling dorothy about elphaba, laura somehow seeing or speaking to natasha during catws, a good omens au of the good place (specifically the ”i don’t even like you!” / “you doooooooo” scene), kencyrath au of star wars (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, except setting up the first scene alone would take 7k, but i want to talk about leia and luke and their MESSED UP TRUST ISSUES in this au).

oh, also, something about star trek tng where jean-luc and beverly and jack were in love and then jack died and picard left. more specifically a scene set during the pilot episode where jean-luc very cordially offers beverly the option to transfer off the enterprise, that he wouldn’t dream of holding it against her, and beverly very cordially telling jean-luc to go fuck himself. i want to write 30k of that broken triad. i want it so bad. i dream of that fic. maybe one day when i find myself with a completely empty month or two, i’ll binge all of tng and Write Some Stuff.

4. share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

since you and i have tww in common, i’m gonna do a tww fic! otherwise i’d have to reread literally every fic i’ve ever written, lmao.

(this is long but i put this post under the cut so i have RIGHTS. also consider this a sneak peek for the j/d fic in the sense8 au?)

“It’s okay,” says Helen. She sits for a moment in silence, seeming thoughtful. “The Congressman and I are in the same cluster,” she says eventually. “I’d- I supposed that’s easier on the Secret Service?”

“Yes,” says Donna. “The-”

She stops herself from saying anything further. President Bartlet and the First Lady aren’t exactly quiet about who’s in their cluster, especially with senior staff, but that doesn’t mean she should go talking about it in an unsecured room in LA, of all places.

To cover for her blunder, she gives up something else: “The same with Josh. They got really lucky with him, actually. It’s just him and me, so they won’t have to worry about anyone threatening the Chief of Staff through the barista in the local Starbucks.”

Helen looks up from the Ohio numbers she’d drifted back to, a slow smile creeping up on her face. “Josh is in your cluster?”

“Uh-” says Donna, feeling like national security wasn’t worth whatever she’s just blundered into. Oops. “Josh- Josh is my cluster, ma’am.”

She catches her mistake the second it’s out of her mouth, but Helen doesn’t call her on it, more focused on other revelations. “No wonder you two look at each other the way you do!” she says, sounding delighted. Donna shuts her eyes, praying for this to go away. It’s not that she’s ashamed of Josh - it’s just so, so complicated, and other people never think about how difficult it was. Still is.

i’m just... i really liked the idea of donna fumbling and having to reveal this to cover up for what else she was going to say? i don’t know why i’m so charmed by this. i think it’s because it would be impossible in the show - you can’t show what someone was going to say on television, not without a lot of setup and very careful scripting. it’s just a really fun situation to write about and i’m really proud of this conversation in general.

also helen santos was a dream to write and i love her a lot. i kind of want to write one of the fics in the series about her and her cluster solely because like... look at her. she’s a delight in literally every scene. i love her.

5. what character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

daisy johnson!!! i love writing daisy johnson!!!! she is the most adhd character i’ve ever written and i literally just have to transcribe my own inner monologue and it works perfectly!!!!!

Swing shift: 1600 hours to 2400 hours. Daisy always ends up getting back to her quarters at like 0030 hours, when Jemma is asleep and Fitz is reading some kind of technical journal. Then she has to eat replicated pizza, alone, and freshly replicated pizza is actually pretty hot but it feels cold at that time of night, like, spiritually.

6. what character do you have the most fun writing?

...whoops i literally just answered that lmao. uh. i also really love writing sky masterson in the guys and dolls fic? she’s just weaponized hot queerness in a suit and i love her for it. she is intentionally trying to seduce this repressed lesbian and it’s really funny and also really hot of her and it’s so much fun to write.

also, i wrote chidi for the tgp fic and it was possibly the most fun i’ve ever had with a pov, although that was also because i was purposefully trying to mimic the tone of the show. i still think that line about michael and a grenade is, like, the funniest i have ever been in my life. but chidi’s panic was surprisingly easy to write? all of tgp’s characters have such STRONG voices, it makes writing fic ridiculously easy as long as you don’t get stuck on a plot for six months.

7. what do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? would others agree?

oof, this one is ALWAYS tricky. uh? uhh?? i’m going to ruin everything by saying this but i basically alternate between the same two sentence structures and i am really frustrated about it. i also alternate between the same two styles of endings and i always use the same beginning (set scene, main character pov, thoughts-as-exposition, back to scene).

BUT ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE i like to talk about emotions and relationships and character development!! i have my “queer subtext goggles” superglued to my face, lmao. i like to think about how characters must have felt about things in canon and how it must’ve influenced them. i like making people deal with the consequences of their actions, especially how it’s influenced they themself. i also just really, really like writing people who love each other, whether it’s romantic or platonic or anything in between. i just want them to be happy! i just want them to stick together! doesn’t matter what fandom, i stand by it.

[kiyaar]

Endgame: I cried 4x; would cry again

(also on dreamwidth if you’d rather there: https://kiyaar.dreamwidth.org/16242.html) I will preface this by saying: I watched Endgame 4 times. I cried at all showings. I still rate it 9/10 for me. This is not useful critical analysis, it is mostly a feelings dump. I am bad at writing meta and that's why I write fic instead. Whatever. Spoilers abound below the cut.

(You know what, I might be okay at writing meta, but I'm better at writing fic and I dislike getting into fights with strange children on the internet, so I don't do it often.)


THINGS I LOVED AND AM NOT OVER:

Tony in that crimson shirt looking into the void of space and knowing he's about to die inside one of his recurring nightmares and having to come to terms with that.

I really love Tony and Nebula's relationship and I feel like I could write a 30k fic about that month they had together on the ship.

ALL THE SWEARING. horseshit. you gotta be shitting me. shit. SHIT.

TONY AND MORGAN. Are you fucking kidding me. I had a fucking heart attack as soon as she put up her baby repulsor wearing Pepper's helmet and then it just. Never Let Up. SO TENDER. EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED. (I absolutely did not expect that from this movie but I am delighted by its inclusion.) How the fuck am I supposed to function now that I know how Tony is with his kid in MCU?

Tony, in That Scene, emaciated and in his wheelchair and high and ripping his IV out and his whole speech: "....no trust. Liar." Wow. Wow was that content that was developed for me personally. RIPPING HIS METAPHORICAL (broken) heart out and putting it in Steve's hand and then collapsing. I don't even fucking know what to say, I've watched it like 20 times on camrip at this point.

All these tiny nods to past MCU were really satisfying. I don't care what people say. This movie was for the fans. It was for me.

That brainstorming session when they're just lying around on the table.

Nat's look is Good in this movie. That's all.

I feel there's a high probability Nat and Steve are fucking during that five year jump, but in a sad "neither of us can have who we want" way and also a "we have a deep friendship so we can be deeply intimate with each other and it's not weird" way. I have a strong urge to write porn about it.

Tony's whole "I know how to do this but I should forget I know" dilemma. Really hit me where I live. The Tony I got in this movie rivals only IM1 and CACW Tony for the most 616 Tony I've ever seen in MCU.

I just really love Tony walking around in that house in the woods in crewneck sweatshirts, doing dishes, pouring iced coffee for his old Avengers pals, trying to forget about that life and fucking FAILING, trying to savor his embarrassment of life wealth because HE FUCKING SURVIVED and how is he supposed to know what to do with that? There's a reason he didn't stay at the compound and it's not Pepper. It's because the minute the Avengers come to him he can't stay away any longer. God, I love Tony Stark.

I don't care how shitty the time travel logic was in this movie, I loved it. As soon as they were like "we're gonna time travel" I was slightly disappointed that they weren't gonna do multiverse instead, but WITHOUT FAIL, I will always find a good time travel story (in that it's EMOTIONALLY SATISFYING) arousing. Whatever.

America's ass. Are you kidding. That actually happened, onscreen. I still mostly don't ship Steve and Tony in MCU because they don't have that deep shared history and they don't make jokes with each other and they don't finish each other's sentences - wait.

This is the first movie that did not include a single "Stark" or "Rogers" in a "I don't know you that well" or "I'm distancing myself from you" kinda way and while that is a crime I frothed at the mouth every time they called each other Steve and Tony in this movie. Jesus.

TONY GIVING HIS PAST SELF A CARDIAC SITUATION. REALLY. REALLY!? THANK YOU MCU

I lost it. LOST IT. When Steve walked into that elevator.

similarly: Tony and Steve finishing each other's thoughts in that alley while completely ignoring scott lang. Okay. AND THEN:

THE 70s. Are you kidding me? This movie was like "this was crafted with your id in mind" and it kept DOING IT and going to places I was not expecting! I went in with zero expectations! And then CAPTAIN STEVE ROGERS IN THAT UNIFORM. WITH THOSE AVIATORS.

Bruce did the gauntlet! I was not expecting this. It was a successful diversion, because I lost my shit 20 minutes later.

I lost my goddamn mind when Steve picked up Mjolnir. I know it happens in Fear Itself so I wasn't really expecting it, at all, but once it happened I was sobbing and I did not stop until the credits rolled.

I lost my goddamn mind AGAIN when Sam came through the portal and all of the portals opened and all of the heroes stepped through and it was just gonna be Steve against the world and he would have done it!!! He would have. He fucking USED HIS SHIELD AS A SPLINT but he didn't have to do it alone! I'm crying again! Fuck!

Avengers Assemble. It only took you 11 fucking years, MCU. COol. COOL

That end sequence was not real. It was all computers. And I did not fucking care, because it was the most comic book fucking thing I've ever seen in a movie and I felt so powerful and like everything was so okay for just a few minutes and I was so proud. And I was just sitting there in my seat, riveted, feeling like: my heroes. There they are. Beautiful.

THOR'S GLOW UP IN THIS MOVIE. JESUS GOD. His finest look yet. Fucking fight me. Hemsworth has never looked more like an actual Norse God.

STEVE'S SCALE MAIL. WHAT AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT ANY OF IT.

CAROL!!!!! CAROL'S HAIR!!!! CAROL'S NEW SUIT!! CAROL IS SO POWERFUL! SHE IS POSSIBLY OP! DON'T YOU DARE NERF HER @MARVEL!!!

Tony really didn't know until right that minute when he made the decision to fucking wrestle those stones away. He doesn't realize what's gonna happen even when he asks Strange if this is the version where they get it right.

I don't even know what to say about Tony. It's everything I ever wanted. I mean, look at my icon. I just didn't breathe for like a solid minute while he held his hand up and looked at Thanos and fucking Did That.

I am fine with his death because it sort of puts this universe to bed for me in the sense that there will be (presumably) no new Tony content I think I do my best work after the fact because I can't worry about being Jossed and I do best when I find the cracks in preexisting canon, anyway.

Tony Stark. What a fucking legend. What a fucking hero.

STARTED FUCKING CRYING AGAIN WHEN SAM GETS THE SHIELD. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

I just feel very lucky to have been alive when this franchise was happening. I know it's not over, but I feel like it's mostly over for me. My faves are dead and old.

THINGS I WAS NOPE ON:

gay Joe Russo. really. it's been 22 goddamn movies and that's the bone you throw? eat my entire ass.

they really shot themselves in the foot using Ramin Djwadi for Iron Man 1 and then Alan Silvestri for the rest of the Avengers proper movies. imagine what that could have been with like. A legitimate score. (though I did DEARLY LOVE the inclusion of the tony thru the wormhole theme when Tony wrestles with Thanos for the last time.)

I still don't care about Peter Parker. I just don't. shrug emoji. I wish Steve had gotten his proximity spot in Tony's death scene.

Why are we doing the Ronin thing in this movie? it doesn't make sense. there is nothing in the MCU to support this at this point. I am tired. Clint's haircut is dumb. My haircut is similar but better.

The running 'thor-is-fat' jokes. I am fucking tired. And EVERY TIME, I went to a theater where people laughed at every instance of that fucking joke. I have been Thor. I am Thor right now. As someone pointed out on twitter, all of Tony's ribs did not elicit laughs and were there for a similar purpose: to denote trauma and Doneness. You cannot slap someone out of a panic attack. Just. One time, get trauma right. It's not that fucking hard.

CGI Mark Ruffalo. I really like Mark Ruffalo and I get that they needed a quick resolution to the "the Hulk won't perform" issue and they sure got it, but that shit isn't gonna hold up well.

unpopular probably: that shot with all the women grouping up. a.) implausible, b.) I hate being pandered to and that was fucking pandering

Steve. Not my Steve! Possibly a pod person. See the Entire Section Below.

Nat's death. Are you kidding. See the Entire Section Below.

"our time travel is better than back to the future because We Said So." Read a fucking book and see SECTION BELOW

STEVE
 Okay, so. I had a problem with Steve in this movie that had nothing to do with Evans' acting and everything to do with the mess that was CACW and his lack of a character arc. It's like...they gave up, and had him revert to 'lie down on the floor and give up.'

And I would normally be okay with that? I mean, I've written that fic. But there was so much of him MISSING, here. How does he feel about those five years? WHO the FUCK told this man he was qualified to be leading any sort of group therapy? Where is my man who will fight anything, living or dead? Where are his anger management issues, the Single Defining Character Trait that survives all multiverses? Fuck Clint's anger management issues, give me Steve being patently suicidal out in the world that's now been taken from him twice or show me Steve ruining something. Because he may have been Done With The Gig at the end of CACW but we all know: Steve is never done with the gig. He cannot walk away. It is not in his code. And I just didn't see any of that in this movie. 


He was SO MUCH of a pod person for me that I developed a very elaborate theory that he is actually an altered version of Steve from an earlier timeline to make myself feel better about it. I have 13 pages of notes about it.


Which brings me to the ending. I knew they were pushing The Past hard as there are like 13 mentions of peggy whether visual or verbal callbacks throughout the movie - but they really fucking did that and I DON'T BUY IT. 
I DO buy Steve being selfish. That I do. But I don't buy him fucking up her life. I think it's conceivable he could have decided he'd done enough, and then he stopped by to have a dance, and then he left, and then he got married to some rando and lived out his life in relative obscurity. Maybe he'd be okay with that. (I have a fix for this, too: upon returning the soul stone, Steve must sacrifice something dear to him. He sacrifices THE JOB. The HEROING. He has no other choice but to put it all down.) I read his expression at the end as guarded and sad, it did not read as a Happy End for him for me. And I guess I'm okay with that, but the logic behind it all doesn't make any fucking sense (there's no way he should have been able to return to 2023 as he was unless he was Secretly Married/In Hiding the whole time and there were 2 steves in the timeline). But I know Chris Evans just wants to make shitty romcoms and snuggle his dog, and I get that. 


Also why is no one talking about how that shield was completely fucking different? Where the hell did he get that? 



tl;dr: I have always said Steve was robbed of a third installment in his franchise and it stalled his character development. I was WAY on board with how they did him in TWS but after that I lose him. I don't know who he is. I don't know what he wants. I don't know what his soul craves. I guess that's what the fic machine is for. 



NAT


NAT did not get the ending she deserved, nor did she get the one I wanted for her. I am, once again, baffled by the way Marvel privileges those characters with families and "real" markers of maturity, even if they've undergone a laughable amount of character development over the course of the franchise. (Clint. I'm talking about Clint. The Clint who threw a tantrum and decided he was just gonna. Murder a bunch of brown people because he was having his grief or whatever.) 


Nat has come so far. She is one of the few characters I consistently root for in MCU. There are not many. Of the original 6, I am always watching for what happens to Tony, Steve, and Nat, in that order. She has been a spy, an ally, a friend, a fighter, an unpaid donor of emotional labor for all these fucking men, and although there is still no way I will ever see ScarJo as a believable Russian spy, I am very very fond of her character in the MCU. I love her relationships with Steve and Tony. 



And she was FUCKING SHAFTED. 



Other people have written about how her team-up with hawkeye makes her the object to be sacrificed, especially given that SHE JUMPED. He did not throw her over the edge. I'd like to raise questions about their relationship - Clintasha is real, I guess, but they sure ignored that for 7 years just to shoehorn it in at the end when they needed it. I liked their fight. I found it believable that they would fight right up til the end about that. But I'm not happy with the choice. I wanted it to be Clint. Her arc was heading towards SELF-IMPOSED ABSOLUTION. 


I just want to ask these fucking men. These men who write these fucking movies. Do you have any idea how rare it is to even see someone approaching that on screen? I just feel so cheated.

And then they have her jump. Because Clint needs to hug his fucking children. Whatever. 


THE TIME TRAVEL:


I am very tired and this post is so long already, so I think the time travel might get its own post. Me and my 13 pages of notes deserve their proper day in the sun.



I do have this to say: it is SUPREMELY lazy to make this movie and not make your own internal logic AIRTIGHT. You have one job if you make a time travel movie! It is to become an expert on your own time travel.


[meremennen]

This is going to be a thematical series.

1: Work In Progress Works

Okay, hear me out. Work in progress works are so underappreciated. 

And even though I’m not sure if all of these works will be continued, some probably not, but I love them for a reason and they deserve a shout out. They are all honestly so great for various reasons (for plot, for characterisation, for the idea itself, for writing style or for editing, etc.) and I don’t regret any minute of reading them. 

The list, sorted by current ratings:

aphelion (modern/ G /space pirates, loosely based on Firefly, multiple POV)

Arrangement of a Lifetime * (modern/ G/ fake/pretend relationship)

Heaven Can’t Wait (canon/ G/ kidfic, fluff and angst)

Hello, Princess  (modern/ G/ college/university, slow burn, Maths nerds, humor)

I Know I Don't Deserve It, But Stay With Me A Minute (modern/ M/ 10 Things I Hate About You AU (loosely)

Let’s Go to the Mall! * (modern/ G/ denial of feelings, high school)

mind if i check you out? * (modern/ G/ bellarke library au, rivalry)

The Rest Was History * (modern/ G/ fake dating)

The Will ‘o the Wisps (modern/ G/ fantasy, faes)

This is where you fall, this is when you get up * (modern/ G/ cowboy!Bellamy)

Baby Mine (modern/ M/ Jane the Virgin AU)

Now and Then * (modern/ M/ best friends to lovers, past and present)

The Art of Disappearing * (modern/ M/ fake marriage)

Up In Flames * (canon/ M/ post season 1 AU)

Win a Date with Bellamy Blake (modern/ M/ slow burn, fake dating)

All Is Love (modern/ E/ kid fic, unplanned pregnancy)

Bite Me (canon/ E/ season 1, affectionate insults)

Friends With Benefits (modern/ E/ college/university, friends to lovers, humor)

The Prisoner and The Cure * (modern/ E for gore/zombies)

Weave Me A Myrtle Crown * (modern/ E / firefighter!bellamy, paramedic!clarke)

Happy reading!

I don’t know everyone’s tumblr, or if they have any, so if anyone is actually reading this and you wanna tag them, please do so.

Ratings are indicative and might change.

* – probably won’t be updated, but we can always hope

***************************************************************************

All Is Love (E) by @bisexualbellamyblake (AO3: lightyears )

135k+

Summary: It all begins because Raven declares that she's on a sex ban for three months. Clarke reminds her of this when her life is turned upside down. Raven reminds Clarke later, when everything finds its place again. / Or, Clarke finds out she's pregnant six weeks after Bellamy leaves. 

*** S l o w burn. And that moment when they reunite, or when Bellamy finds out about Clarke’s little secret tortured me in ways that hurt a lot. But hey, still breathing ;-) ***

aphelion (G) by @kindclaws  (AO3: kindclaws )

45k+

Summary: It's been two years since the spaceship Aphelion mysteriously disappeared, its crew branded by the ARK as traitors to be shot on sight. Jake Griffin was on that ship, and with him, a dangerous secret that could change civilized space forever./ Now, Clarke wants some answers - and revenge, if she can get it. Bellamy wants a bigger ship - specifically, Clarke's. Wells wants to fix the system his father broke. Octavia wants a little fun. Miller wants everyone to stop making poor life choices. Harper wants to kiss the new girl. And Raven? Well, Raven just wants to blow shit up./ The universe won't know what's hit it. (Space pirates AU!)

*** what I love the most about this fic is the multiple POV! It is so rare to have these kinds of stories, and honestly, it gives such a unique feel to it. I am so, sooo grateful for this fic. ***

Arrangement of a Lifetime * (M) @ FFnet: moomolie1709

55k+

Summary: He needed her to pose as his girlfriend, and she needed him to make her unfaithful ex jealous. But what began as a simple transaction between two business partners soon becomes more complicated than either of them could have ever anticipated.

*** without giving too much away, there is a really cute bedsharing scene and another scene with Clarke in a dress that I loved a lot. Sadly, it also ends after a huge cliffhanger, and I really doubt this will ever be finished, but it deserves to be on this list. And like with every other WIP, You NeVER kNOw. Your comment might just be the one that makes the lovely writer to finish it.*** 

Baby Mine (M) @ AO3: stumblesun

80k+

Summary: A routine doctor's appointment, a mix-up and an artificial insemination...what could go wrong?

*** I haven’t watched Jane the Virgin, but you don’t have to. S l o w burn ***

Bite Me (E) by @notnicorette (AO3: notnicorette)

10k+

Summary: 'Bite me' is a common insult, right? People say it all the time. Except...Clarke ends up screaming it at Bellamy... And, for once...he does take one of her orders.

*** good old season 1 feels!!! And you know, who says it didn’t happen, just because we haven’t seen it on screen ***

Friends With Benefits (E) @ DreamofInception on AO3

60k+

Summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake hate each other. But they like each other naked.

*** Such an excellent humor!!! And heartbreak. ***

Heaven Can’t Wait (G) by @randomly-random-jen (AO3: justanotherjen ) 

45k+

Summary: With the Apocalypse banging at their door, the Arkadians and what's left of Trikru take refuge in the remains of Alpha Station and hope for the best./ Over 500 souls crammed into a tin can, but there's only one that has Bellamy wrapped around her little fingers.

*** post season 3 canon divergent, it’s so raw and emotional, and I love this Bellamy so, so much!! ***

Hello, Princess (G) @ AO3: moonyredmoon

Summary: Professors and TAs were supposed to teach and help you. They were supposed to appreciate students who took the time to come see them and ask questions. If nothing else, they were supposed to have a clear explanation when it came to questions on grading. Instead, Clarke had even more questions and only one new piece of information… / Bellamy Blake was an asshole.AU with Clarke in college as a pre-med student, and Bellamy her Calculus TA. More characters and tags will be added as they are introduced.

*** SLOWBURN, Maths nerd Bellamy tutoring Maths nerd Clarke is such a unique concept and I love it so much!! ***

Let’s Go to the Mall! * (G) @ AO3: Willaphyx

20k+

Summary: Clarke Griffin was looking forward to a summer of working at her favorite art store in the local mall. That is until she found out who works at the bookstore across the hall: Bellamy Blake, who quickly becomes Clarke's least favorite person. But it would seem like Bellamy doesn't quite feel the same. With the whole summer ahead of them, who knows what could happen?

*** It’s super cute. ***

mind if i check you out? * (G) @ AO3: earthandsky

5k+

Summary: "'Literally, he’s the only clerk to get requests from patrons,' Monty had told Clarke a few days ago, rolling his eyes. 'People come to the desk with all of their stuff and will specifically ask for Bellamy to check them out.' / Raven had grinned. 'I think they’d rather check him out.' / Monty had pulled a face but didn’t disagree. Apparently, Clarke was meeting him today. And he was going to train her. Awesome." / Bellarke Library AU.

*** Just read it. It’s great! ***

Now and Then (G atm, though it’s rated M) by @100yearsofbellarke (AO3: InfiniteBeauty93)

30k+

Summary: Growing up since birth together Bellamy and Clarke have been through the best and worst of times. But when Bellamy gets engaged and Clarke confesses her love to him he rejects her leaving her heartbroken. Now spending a week at her family's vacation house with Bellamy's in preparation to his wedding the past and present collide.

*** well, normally I don’t read anything with e.cho but this story was posted before the dark days, and trust me, it’s good. I’m really loving the alternating timelines!!! ***

I Know I Don't Deserve It, But Stay With Me A Minute (G, possibly turning M) @ AO3: belgardebells

45k+

Summary: Octavia Blake isn't allowed to date until her big brother Bellamy does, so she calls in a favour from her best friend Clarke Griffin. All Clarke has to do is seduce Bellamy, fake date him, and then break things off when Octavia starts going out with her waiter conquest. It's supposed to be quick, easy, and painless. And it is. Until Clarke starts falling for real.

*** this author has multiple WIPs (I recommend them all) and a really unique writing style and humor ***

The Art of Disappearing (M) @ AO3: Jenye

20k+

Summary: The first night they met they witnessed a grisly murder. Now they’re being placed into the Witness Protection Program. Starting life over in Ark, Minnesota was definitely not part of Clarke’s five-year plan. And gaining a wife certainly wasn’t something Bellamy saw himself doing this year.

*** Bellamy and Clarke falls in love in witness protection ***

The Prisoner and The Cure * (E for gore) @ AO3: PaintedGhostOrchid 

30k+

Summary: The US has been transformed into a barren, post-apocalyptic wasteland after a viral outbreak leaves society in shambles. But Clarke Griffin is a girl on a mission to her mother's research facility to deliver the only-known cure- if only she can avoid the free-roaming criminals who are determined to kill her, led by one particularly terrifying (and handsome) escaped prisoner who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. / Loads of Bellarke tension, human survival, the occasional zombie (but not much), jealousy, and romance.

*** Bellamy as a grumpy prisoner trying to save his sick sister. And then, there is Clarke. She is special. They are fighting their way through the zombie apocalypse.  ***

The Rest Was History * (G) @ AO3: Tate

25k+

Summary: Historian Bellamy Blake needs to impress his potential bosses at ARK Enterprises. He's got everything they're looking for, except the girlfriend that his best friend Raven Reyes assures him will win them over. But that's okay, because Raven's found just the girl. Only, there's one problem. Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin really, really hate each other.

*** ummm, quite a few tropes in this. One of the details I really, really loved is the name of the car and fLUsTeREd Bellamy.  ***

The Will ‘o the Wisps (G) @ AO3: DracoTerrae

5k+

Summary: With his kingdom falling to darkness, Jake Griffin barely managed to escape to another world, his young daughter, Clarke in tow. Twenty years later, Clarke wanders a little off the designated trails and stumbles into the very world her father left behind. Now desolate and under the shadow of darkness, Clarke slowly gathers a ragtag group with whom she will fight the powers that brought this world to its knees.

*** it’s very mysterious at the moment, only a few chapters in, but I cannot wait to read more. On hiatus, but I have faith ***

This is where you fall, this is when you get up (G) by @queenofchildren (AO3: queenofchildren )

35k+

Summary: In which Bellamy is a grumpy cowboy, Jake knows a good steak when he eats it, and Clarke makes a decision.

*** COWBOY BELLAMY, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED? ***

Up In Flames * (M) @ FFnet: lucawindmover

60k+

Summary: AU Post Season 1 finale. They were meant to be used as a new influx of genes for Mount Weather. But Clarke Griffin and her band of survivors would not be going along willingly.

*** The MM made them do it. Sooooo, I wish I could say this story will continue!! Anyway, I just love this one so much, it has to be on this list. ***

Weave Me A Myrtle Crown (E for abuse and sexy times) @ AO3: AJRedfern

75k+

Summary: Clarke's not a woman easily shaken - she has a reputation of being 'logical, level-headed if a little cold-blooded'. And then she gets assigned as the new Paramedic In Charge to Firehouse 82. Amidst the people she's starting to call her friends, is Bellamy Blake: heroic firefighter, exemplary Lieutenant, complete asshole. Normally, this would have been fine - it's not the first time she's had to work with someone she despised. Except dreams keep plaguing her. Dreams that start the day she first met him. Dreams of a different life, a different time, a different world. Dreams of him, of her, of them. Dreams that start to feel like memories. Yeah, her carefully constructed facade isn't going to survive Firehouse 82.

*** Reincarnation (?) AU. I wish I could say this will be updated, but I have doubts. Regardless, the parallel timeline/flashbacks are giving the story an amazing flavour, and the UST is excellent ***

Win a Date with Bellamy Blake (M) by @bittyab18 (AO3: Bittyab18 )

125k+

Summary: Clarke Griffin's best friend enters her in a contest to win a date with Bellamy Blake, famous actor/Hollywood heartthrob/bad boy. Except, Clarke already knows Bellamy, and she's not a fan of him or his movies. Because her life sucks, she wins, and now she's reintroduced to the guy she loved to hate in high school. 

*** So much UST, so much angst and so much cuddling. A true s l o w burn. ***

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I hope you will give it a go and show these writers some love.

***************************************************************************

Coming up next (probably): 

Fake dating/Arranged Marriage/Accidental Pregnancy

[calronislovecalronislife]

On My Fanfiction And Writing

As I promised, time to talk about my Magisterium fanfic. I already posted about some things related to the story, but here I want to talk about more of a technical side of stuff.

First things first, I have always sucked at sticking to one writing project. I start a story, I really like it, and then, bam, I lose interest.

I figured that happens because I post all my works on wattpad, so I get carried away thinking about cover, summary, posting schedule and stuff that should come after I actually finish the story. So many times I started story, wrote it on wattpad, posted for a few days, decided I should take a break from it for a day, and then never came back to it.

This happened to me for a few reasons. I would think of an idea and start writing because I couldn't wait. I had no time to come up with plots or characters, so thosw stories ended up boring me and I'd abadoned them. Also, I pretty much always wrote contemporary stories. Which was kind of weird because I always read more fantasy, sci-fi, etc. I guess I was always scared to start a fantasy story because the universe is so wast and I didn't think I could handle it well and do it justice.

When I started writing this Calron fanfiction, I decided to let myself write fantasy. I don't wanna jinx my progress, but with 30k words, this is the most words I've wrote for a story.

How many words will it have by the end, I have no idea. The plot is still far from over. My plan is not to try and fit the story into a wordcount. I'll just write it until I'm satisfied.

Of course, it wouldn't be me if there was no any thinking in advance.

I made myself a promise that I'll start thinking up a title once I hit 50k words. Usually, I come up with a title as soon as I start writing it. It's kind of hard to do it for this book. So, in order not to get my mind off of actually writing the story, I decided to award myself with coming up with the tilte once I write 50k words. (I really like coming uo with titles, it's an award for me, okay?).

Also, since I'll be posting this on wattpad I'll figure long chapters won't do me good for multiple reasons:

It's tiring reading long chapter on the phone

Wattpad counts reads based on times a chapter has been read so more chapters = more reads = book gets more promotion = more people see it

Those are the main 2...

Since I have 5 finished chapters (and one unfinished, so 6) right now, and 30k words, you can guess they are pretty long.

I decided to break them down a bit, which I am almost sure I can do. But, as to not distract myself with that now I decided to do it after 2nd or 3rd draft. Depends how they work out...

Also, I'm more dedicated to finishing a chapter than the entire story, so long chapters actually work great for me.

As for my drafting timeline it goes something like this:

Draft 1 - obviously will be trash

Draft 2 - fixing plot mistakes, deleting unecesarry scenes, adding new ones

Draft 3 - spliting my monster chapters into shorter ones

Beta test - which I'll probably need (10 - 15 peole)

Draft 4 - fixing any plot/other mistakes beta readers spot

Beta test (again) - this time with 5 people tops

Draft 5 - any remaining big issues

Draft 6 - line editing (cause I need it...)

It's a big plan and I am not sure it will work out exactly like that, but it is what I had in mind.

As for posting it...I know only little about it.

I have a Wattpad profile (my username is CasualCat, you can look me up) but it is for my more relaxed works. I had that profile since I was 15, and none of the stories are edited, so they mostly suck and are unfinished.

This profile served me great, I learned a lot about writing thanks to it, so I won't delete it. But I feel like I am ready for a new start as a writer, for more serious projects (that actually require editing). I promised myslef I'll open it as soon as I finish 1st draft.

I'll also open tumblr, instagram, and twitter for that profile because marketing and social media presence is important if you want people to read you stuff.

As for posting schedule, I honestly have no idea. I don't know how many chapter this story will have so I can't come up with it yet. If it ends up with 20-25 chapters (or less) then I guess I'll post a chapter a week. If it has mkre then it will be 2,3, or even 4 chapters a week. I really have no idea.

Even if I will plan on having the entire story finished before I start posting it, I will not post it all at once.

Because:

It's better if people anticipate it

It will probably be long, and it could be overwhelming for somebody to read all of that at once...

It gives me time to work on my other projects for that profile

Next to my Calron fanfiction, I am working on another story I'll be posting on that profile, probably before I start posting my Calron fanfic. But I'll keep what that project is about a secret for now. I'll only tell you it's an original, not fanfiction.

Thanks for reading all of this, I hope you enjoyed my rant. If you have any questions feel free to ask but I do not promise answers.

[drizzitwrites]

I FINALLY FINISHED THIS SCENE!

I’m under no delusions that it’s good, despite me agonising over each word and going through EXTENSIVE editing passes already, but it’s done.

This scene has been giving me FITS and it’s the point in the fic that I’ve been stuck on since last August, so I’m just SO GLAD that I finally broke its back. It’s definitely still lacking, and I keep questioning if it needs to be in the fic at all, but this version is a thousand times better than any of the MANY iterations that came before it (if you think Vincent is being overdramatic in THIS version, you should read the outtakes...), so I’ll take it.

Honestly, at this point I’ve read this fic so many times over that I’m in a constant balancing act between “is this secretly brilliant and I just think I hate it because I’ve been working on it for so long?” and “No, I’m very convinced that this is AMAZINGLY boring and has the emotional conveyance of your standard robot” but at this point I just want it to be over with.

13 scenes and 30k down, at least 12 more to go.

I never asked for this.

Here’s to hopefully finishing this in under a year?????

Anyway, I’ve spoken about it now, so I may as well put it out there for you all to read. LMK what you think. I honestly feel like this entire fic is too emotionally distant, but then every time I try to crank up the emotions I’m just yelling “MELODRAMA” and deleting the lot of it, so...who knows anything.

3200 words. I ended it with future tense. There are no laws anymore.

Vincent made his way slowly towards the sofa, cradling the plate against his chest. He ended up using a combination of his left forearm and the side of the beer bottle dangling between the fingers of his left hand to block anything from escaping with . It wasn’t exactly conventional, and he probably didn’t have a future as a waiter if his football career flopped, but as long as he could navigate his way to the sofa without spilling anything he’d count it as a win.

Ahead of him, Ben had resumed his customary stream of chatter, his stream of words too rapid-fire for Vincent to parse while concentrating on his burden. From the sounds of things, though, he’d taken Christian’s request for updates to mean he’d like a detailed recounting of every second of the first half.

Vincent was so focused on not dropping anything that he didn’t notice Christian and Ben hovering together near the sofa until he nearly collided with Christian for a third time that afternoon.

Thankfully, Christian jumped backwards at the first brush of Vincent’s elbow against his arm, allowing Vincent to skirt past him without losing any of his charges. He ended up with a smear of mayonnaise across the inside of his forearm for his efforts, but it was better that than having to spend the next fifteen minutes wiping food off himself, Christian, and the living room floor.

He rubbed the mayonnaise off his arm with the fingers of his other hand, sidestepped past Ben and Christian, then slid into the space between the sofa and the low coffee table. Somehow, he managed to lower himself into an odd half-crouch, setting his beer bottle down so he could grip the plate with both hands, holding it steady and level on its descent.

Plate securely settled into place on the table, he shifted his weight from heels to toes, reaching behind him until his hands found smooth leather. He hoisted himself backward and wriggled his way onto the sofa, taking up the spot nearest the door that he’d come to think of as “his.”

It was odd, him feeling proprietary about a place on the sofa considering the bulk of his time over the past few days he’d felt restless and out of place in Christian’s house. He’d spent his fair share of evenings in this very spot, leaned into the corner where the arm met the back cushions, Christian’s head resting against his chest, but he’d be willing to bet that any number of people had occupied this space with far more regularity than he had over the years.

Coco was already seated at the other end of the sofa, sprawled into the space with legs outstretched in front of him.

“I wonder if you have enough sandwiches,” he said. “I think you might need to go back and make some more.

“Ha,” Vincent replied. “Yes, yes. Vincent clearly has no idea what an appropriate amount of food is. It is true. But I made some for Christian as well, so...”

Beside him, Christian made a low humming noise, but said nothing.

Vincent glanced up at him and found him staring down at the sofa--or at him, he couldn’t tell. Neither he nor Ben were making any effort to sit down, choosing instead to linger about at the fringes of the space.

He gave Christian what he hoped was a reassuring smile and tipped his head to the left towards the unoccupied centre seat on the sofa, indicating that Christian should join him there, but Christian stayed put.

“Christian, Benjamin. The match will start again soon. Are you sitting? Or no?” Coco called out, causing both of them to jump a bit.

Ben seemed to find his feet first, taking a step backwards, away from the sofa. Clearly, he meant to give Christian room to slip into the space, but Christian sidestepped, gesturing Ben towards the open seat and then turning back towards the kitchen.

Generally speaking, Christian didn’t entertain large groups of people. When he did, they tended to congregate in the back garden or around the table in the conservatory rather than in the living room with a good view of the television. This meant that although he did own more seating than just this sofa, most of it was tucked away around the periphery of the room to be moved about as needed.

Now, he made for the paired armchairs on the far side of the room lifted one from it’s spot looking out on the back garden and carried it closer. He slid it into place in front of the table, at a right angle to the sofa, then dropped into it, wriggling around a bit until he found the best angle towards the television.

Ben had started moving towards the chair, clearly assuming Christian would set it down for him then take his place on the sofa. When Christian chose the chair instead, Ben flicked a questioning look at Vincent.

Vincent shrugged, because what other response was there, and angled his legs to the side so Ben could slip past him and lower himself into the vacant seat between him and Coco. 

Christian’s seat.

And there he was again, assigning ownership to seating positions as if this weren’t Christian’s house and he didn’t have a right to sit wherever he pleased. It was probably for the best, anyway, Christian electing to keep his distance.  Vincent had just about managed to get his body back under control from the last time he and Christian had ended up in proximity to one another. There was no need for a repeat performance.

Vincent leaned forward and lifted one of the sandwiches off the plate--thin sliced rare roast beef with a spread of horseradish and an asparagus tip. He took an over-large bite, ending up with nearly half the sandwich stuffed into his mouth. He chewed deliberately a few times, tears springing to the corners of his eyes as the sharp bite of the horseradish burst up into the back of his nose, the burn of it cooling in an instant as it melded with the bitter asparagus and the juicy, salty, spice of the roast beef. He might not have any skills as a cook, but whomever had prepared the raw ingredients he’d been working with had definitely known their way around flavours.

When he’d finished with that bite, he washed it down with a swallow of beer then immediately went back in for another, smaller this time, but he still took his time with it, savouring the mingled tastes on his tongue.

Around him, Ben and Coco were tossing commentary back and forth overtop of Vincent, but he tuned it out, pressing himself into the cushion and finishing off the last drink of his beer.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the match. For all their disagreements throughout the past few years, the Belgian trio had welcomed Vincent into their strange little famiy from the first day he’d arrived at Spurs. 

When Christian had insisted on helping Vincent settle into the league, Mousa, Jan, and even Toby, albeit reluctantly, had joined in, all of them putting in extra hours on the training pitch to help Vincent find his feet. It hadn’t worked, of course, but he would always be grateful to them for the sacrifices they’d made for him.

Their support didn’t stop there, either. Although they’d sometimes been more of a hindrance than a help as he tried to navigate his seemingly incontrollable feelings for Christian, Mousa and Jan had stepped in to talk him through things. They knew Christian like few others did, and Vincent wasn’t sure what he would have done without Jan’s knowing smiles and constant encouragement to “Just be patient. He’ll sort himself out.” Usually echoed by Mousa’s wry laugh and a “or he won’t.”

In many ways, his feelings for Christian had been his undoing from the start. He’d never been able to fully show up at training, always flustered and frazzled in Christian’s presence. Worst of all were the days they’d been drawn on a team together and he had to somehow focus on doing his job while his entire body did its level best to betray him whenever he caught a glimpse of Christian twisting and turning through a line of defenders before sending a bullet of a pass straight through to where Vincent should have been making a run.

This thing with Christian was stupid, but it had also been inevitable. He’d never intended for it to happen. He’d never expected it to last half this long--not with the way the footballing world worked--and he’d certainly never dreamed that they’d both carve out the space to maintain it across thousands of kilometres. And now, here he was living in Christian’s house, ready to tuck himself neatly back into Christian’s life for a few weeks before the distance separated them once again. Only this time, Vincent welcomed the shift. 

They’d survived one year apart, and he had faith that they could withstand anything life threw at them.

Beside him, Coco yelled something about the Brazil national team that Vincent didn’t quite catch. Whatever it was, it caused Ben and Christian to both explode in laughter, Ben nearly bent double, his face bright red as he slammed a fist against his thigh. 

A glance over at Christian showed him leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting against his knees. He shook his head at Coco, even as he laughed along, the sound bright in Vincent’s ears and radiating through his bones.

“So you say,” he told Coco. “Isn’t there some saying? Never trust an Argentinian when it comes to Brazil.”

This time it was Ben’s turn to shake his head. “Fairly sure there isn’t, but it’s true enough.”

“Or,” Coco cut in. “Should you always trust us. There is much history. We know things.”

“Maybe,” Christian conceded. “I’m willing to accept that you might be correct this one time. Anyway they have no answer to Kevin and Eden, that much is for certain.”

“Mate, who does?” Ben asked. “Honestly, I would say I’ve just given up trying, but I wouldn’t want to be sacked.”

“Oh, we are all aware,” Christian said.

“Yes,” Coco echoed. “This is why we are searching for a new left back, no?” Ben flashed them both a rude gesture, but his face remained set in his usual, teasing grin.

Now broken out of his woolgathering, Vincent decided he might as well join in the conversation. After all, this party had been his idea, for better or worse. He should probably at least attempt to participate.

“I’m glad really,” he said, reaching out to snag another of the sandwiches, then nudging the platter a few centimetres closer to Christian. “Not playing in the league anymore means I don’t have to face DeBruyne. I can just sit back and appreciate his talents knowing I’ll never have to stop him doing anything. A gift, truly.”

Everyone abruptly stopped laughing, at that. Ben and Coco both turned their heads towards him while Christian’s eyes flew open wide for a split second before he dropped his gaze to the floor.

A hush fell over them. The only noise the murmuring voices of the pundits on the television--volume low enough that it hadn’t interrupted their conversation, but now carrying out into the stillness of the room.

Everyone but Christian staring at Vincent.

Coco was the first to break the silence.

“There is always the national team though, no? You cannot be free of him yet.” Vincent shrugged and flashed his friends a grin, trying to keep his tone humorous and self-deprecating. No sense in them knowing how close to the truth his words actually were.

“With Oranje, who knows? New team, new manager. I’m still in exile, you know. So...perhaps. Or perhaps not. For now, I will enjoy watching you try to stop an unstoppable attack and be glad it is not my responsibility.”

At this, Christian made a low, strangled noise in his throat that he somehow managed to turn into a convincing cough. He still wasn’t looking at Vincent, his eyes still focused somewhere on the floor. He squirmed a bit in his chair, hands fiddling at the bottle of juice until he twisted the cap off with a loud *pop* that echoed out into the quiet of the room.

Someone--probably Coco, if Vincent had to guess--turned up the volume on the television, the bouncy, musical beats of the latest vehicle advertisement blaring out of the speakers surrounding them.

Conversation clearly over Vincent took a bite of his second sandwich--this one smoked salmon with crème fraîche, the sour bite of the cream mixing with the yeast of the bread and the sweet, smoky flavours of the fish in a way that made Vincent wonder if he might not have a career as a chef ahead of him after all. He took his time again, once more chewing slowly and savouring the taste and feel of each bite. No sense rushing back into a discussion of the match, given how quickly and thoroughly his comments had killed the previous exchange.

He took a second bite, then a third, wishing he still had some beer left to wash it down with. When he’d finished, he pushed the plate closer to the end of the table.

“Eat, Christiaan,” he said. “I made enough for you. I thought you would be hungry after your day of travel.”

“Hmm?” Christian asked, visibly shaking himself out of whatever thoughts he’d been buried under and blinking up at Vincent.

“I didn’t...” Vincent started. “It’s...alright if you don’t want any. They are very good, if you can take my word for it. I mean...I made them so of course I like them, and I’m not Danish so I don’t know if they--”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Christian said, cutting off Vincent’s aimless babbling.

He reached out and slid one of the sandwiches off the tray, from the looks of things this one was roast chicken with a spread of mayonnaise and an herb garnish. He didn’t eat it straight away, instead staring down at it as though it might be somehow suspect. He narrowed his eyes slightly, his face threatening to twitch into a frown but quickly schooling itself into its too familiar blank expression.

Apparently it just about passed inspection, because he shrugged and took a tentative bite--much smaller than anything Vincent had bothered with, the majority of the bread still balanced on his palm.

Vincent studied his face for any kind of reaction as he chewed, but found none, Christian’s face still carefully neutral.

He swallowed, then immediately let out a dry, choking cough. He grabbed for the bottle of juice resting on its drink mat atop the table, and nearly dropped the remainder of his sandwich while attempting to reach across his body and twist the top off one-handed without tipping over the entire bottle of juice. Before Vincent could grab for it, Ben took pity on Christian and held the bottle steady for him until he managed to unscrew the top.

Several large gulps later, Christian set the bottle down and blew out a breath. His cheeks were flushed pink and Vincent could see tears glistening at the corners of his eyes, but he seemed none the worse for wear, thankfully.

“Sorry,” Vincent said. “I didn’t...well, I mean...I thought they were good, but I suppose that you are the expert, so...”

“What?” Christian asked, finally turning to look at Vincent. “Oh. It’s...no, it is good. I just swallowed it a little sideways is all.”

“You don’t have to eat it,” Vincent said. “If you don’t like it. I understand.”

“Vincent, I said it’s fine,” Christian said. His words came out clipped and strained, a bit like a frazzled parent responding to a child’s tenth repetition of the same question. Vincent figured he’d do best to just drop the subject.

Either Christian would eat the sandwiches or he wouldn’t. He was too polite to refuse food someone else had prepared for him. Whether he enjoyed them or not, he’d remain gracious--finish this one with a smile and try to pretend his frequent sips of juice weren’t just a means for him to wash the taste out of his mouth.

On the television, the bouncy beats of the advertisement transitioned into the orchestral music that signified the resumption of the match. Christian shifted, settling back into his seat, the remainder of his sandwich still balanced atop his palm. 

He made no move to eat it, instead lowering his hand to rest atop his thigh as he turned his full attention to the match.

Vincent followed suit, sinking in to the sofa and trying to forget all about what a mess he’d made of the day. All he’d wanted was to do something nice for Christian, to give him the hero’s welcome he more than deserved, but everything had gone wrong from the start.

He should have expected it, really. He knew the way of things. You returned from weeks--or in Christian’s case over a month--on the road, where your whole life was social events and media appearances crammed in around training sessions and matches. It was exhausting. Doubly so when you had the pressure of an entire country riding on your performance. Of course Christian hadn’t wanted a party.

What he should have done, was welcome Christian home in his usual fashion--slow, heady kisses turning into something more frenzied and wild. Hunger and desire, each with a desperate need to sink into the other. 

Later, they would lay together in bed sharing lazy kisses until Christian drifted off to sleep beside him. 

They’d wake up in the middle of the night to a string of messages from their friends asking if they watched the match, and Christian would sheepishly drag himself out of Vincent’s arms and call up the highlights--the two of them still curled naked around one another as they caught up on enough of the action that Christian was satisfied he’d be able to have a conversation about it.

“Hopefully that’s good enough to get me a pass,” Christian would say, flinching away from the insistent press of Vincent’s lips against his skin and dropping his phone to the bedside table. “I suppose if it comes to it I can say I was tired and dozed off or something. It’s not strictly a lie.”

Vincent would let out a snorting scoff, then drag Christian tighter against him. “You’re an adult. If you want to get your dick sucked instead of watching football what can he say about it?”

A shake of Christian’s head, at that. “When you put it that way, it sounds really awful.”

“Hmm,” Vincent would say against Christian’s bare chest, salt taste of his skin on Vincent’s tongue. “You didn’t seem to think so a few hours ago.”

“No. I definitely did not.”

[spicemommy]

Drarry Fic Rec Masterlist

In no particular order, I decided that I would put together a list of fics that I found amazingly entertaining for others to read and even to look back on myself! Will be continuously updating.

(Here is a link to my stucky fic masterlist ^^)

You Cannot Save People, You Can Only Love Them by heyitsamorette - Rated E - 51K

Upon returning for Eighth Year, there are so many strange things going on with Malfoy, Harry doesn’t know where to start. He won’t talk to Harry, but he’s talking to ghosts. He won’t apologize for his past, but the Black Family tapestry has crossed him off its tree. And the worst of it all, he still has that infuriating, snotty mouth on him that gets Harry’s dick hard as a rock drives Harry insane.

-I loved this fic so much! It’s got a perfect balance of mystery and romance and Sex. This fic probably has some of the best sex scenes I’ve ever read? 100% recommend!

Written On The Heart by who_la_hoop - Rated E - 113K

Harry doesn’t mind that so many Slytherins from his year have returned to finish their NEWTs, really he doesn’t. It’s just – do they have to be so friendly? He’s not prejudiced, really he’s not. It’s just – they’ve got to be up to something, right? Unnerved by the attention he’s attracting from everyone – the Slytherins are the least of it, to be fair – and struggling with a raft of changes to Hogwarts itself, Harry wishes he could be happy that one constant remains: Draco Malfoy really fucking hates him.

When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?

Sex, Lies, and Veritaserum by lettered - Rated E - 17K

This entire fic is one long conversation about sex.

Hey, Potter by SunseticMonster - Rated M - 16K

Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome.

Mental by sara_holmes - Rated M - 186K

Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.

Owned by JordanGrant - Rated E - 420K

The Malfoys have always been owned by the Potters. Strange? Yes. But true, and coming true again. Harry finds himself with no alternative but to claim Draco for his very own slave.

Less weird than it sounds! It’s actually very sweet and heartfelt. 

Cabin Fever by sloppybitch - Rated E - 15K

“We’re trapped. We’re fucking trapped!” Malfoy exclaimed, throwing his hands above his head and turning away in disbelief. “I’m trapped in a fucking love-cabin with Harry Potter!”

Harry and Draco end up trapped in a twisted, perverted, and royally fucked up house in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, also known as a Love-Cabin. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound - Rated E - 149K

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

The Boy and the Sleeping Prince by phoenixacid and Writcraft - Rated E - 26K

Harry is miserable and tired of being an Auror, coasting through life until he’s forced to make some changes. Spurred on by his passion for drawing and working with best-selling author Draco Malfoy, Harry develops a charm which gives children a magical, interactive reading experience. But when it’s time to test the spell, the two men find themselves trapped in a nightmarish fairy tale world. Can they escape unscathed, or is Draco right in his assertions that there is no such thing as a happily ever after?

This fic gave me chills - it truly terrified me. I 100% recommend a read if you’re into dark things. 

Right Hand Red by lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill) - Rated E - 73K

Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory.

Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy.

Malfoy felt inevitable.

Phoenix Repair Services by carpemermaid - Rated E - 20K

Phoenix Repair Services — We’ll bring it back to life as if it was new! Draco hires a suspiciously private wizarding handyman to fix his kitchen when he returns home to find it destroyed. He expects a middle-aged wizard with greying hair and a pudgy gut to show up. Instead, he gets Harry Potter—with a utility belt and a charming smile—who is more attractive than he has any right to be.

Just Go With It by chibaken and loveglowsinthedark - Rated E - 3K

Draco is a telemarketer who calls Harry trying to sell him stuff; phone sex ensues.

The Heart’s Honest Truth by bixgirl1 and carpemermaid - Rated E - 16K

“Don’t you think I would have gone to Pomfrey if I thought she could help me?” “Then what can I do?” “I nee—” Malfoy broke off with a soft grunt and a pained expression. He took a shaky breath and tried again, his voice wobbling. “Will you touch me, Potter?”

Draco is cursed to speak in questions. Well…Spelled, thanks to the stupidly improper archival practices of the fourth century. Harry Potter is there to save the day, but Draco isn’t going to give in to his help so easily. Fortunately, the method of saving might be more satisfactory than Draco expected this time.

Draco Malfoy, It’s Your Lucky Day by Faithwood - Rated E - 37K

Even though he’s unarmed, injured, lost in the Forbidden Forest, and facing a possible murder charge, Draco Malfoy gets lucky.

101 Ways to Heal Your Wizarding Woes by who_la_hoop - Rated E - 26K

Harry is a trainee Auror, and Draco is living at Malfoy Manor, bored and petulant with nothing to do, and no career prospects. Draco’s attempt to heal himself via Muggle psychology – including writing a series of ‘why I hate you’ letters to Harry – backfires when an overanxious house elf delivers the results to Harry. Harry is bemused, Draco is angry and together they have a lot of issues to work out.

Strange Bedfellows by hurt_mod and ravenclawsquill - Rated E - 30K 

When Harry encounters a frail and fidgety Draco Malfoy at the Ministry, he just knows something is wrong and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it.           A story about Deadly Nightshade, crippling insomnia, excellent wine … and finding what you need in the strangest of circumstances.

Weeds or Wildflowers by lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill) and sdk - Rated E - 17K

A perfect match, a romance for the ages, with a one hundred percent success rate! Magic Match claims they can give Draco all of this. So why do they keep sending him on dates with Harry Potter?

Sex, Happiness, Shiny Teeth and Other Things Worth Fighting For by Essie - Rated E - 30K

“Let me get this straight,” Harry peered at Dawlish over the top of Malfoy’s case file “Malfoy’s brewed a potion that, erm, bottles Veela characteristics, and has without proper testing, research or Ministry approval ingested it?” Harry paused, waiting for Dawlish to nod before continuing, “Now you want me to guard him from the sexual advances of hormonally crazed bystanders, while he works on making an antidote?”

“Excellent, Potter. You were paying attention. That’s the second time this week.”

Rarely Pure and Never Simple by birdsofshore - Rated E - 28K

Harry never thought taking a job as Draco Malfoy's bodyguard was going to be easy. Add in a curse that makes Malfoy even more of an obnoxious git than usual, and Harry's got serious problems.

Welcome to the Broom Closet by incapricious - Rated E - 23K

Harry thinks he knows how his life will go: Become an Auror. Marry Ginny. Have a family. But then he sees an advertisement in the paper that no one else can see, and his life is turned upside-down. The Broom Closet: you can be anyone you want while you're there, but you won't remember it in the morning.

Kiss by heyitsamorette - Rated E - 15K

Harry and Draco are forced to kiss over and over again, because that’s just what happens to two arch-enemies around Christmas.

A Touch of Silk by raitala - Rated E - 4K

Harry has won a bet and Draco Malfoy has to serve him afternoon tea while wearing a dress. This should be amusing, Harry thinks. 

At Your Service by Faith Wood - Rated E - 95K

Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There's only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.

The Sleeping Beauty Curse by who_la_hoop - Rated E - 152K

When Draco Malfoy falls into a cursed sleep and can only be woken – at least, according to the Daily Prophet, that impeccable source of truth – by ‘true love’s kiss’, Harry Potter knows there’s no way on earth he’s the answer to this particular riddle. Is he . . .?

Strangeness and Charm by FeelsForBreakfast - Rated E - 48K

One November night during his eighth year at Hogwarts, Draco ends up in the forbidden forest. That’s how it starts.

or: If two boys fall in love in a magical forest, does it still make a sound?

-This fic is genuinely gorgeous yet frustratingly heart wrenching. It’s written so incredibly well. 100% recommend!

Between Two Fires of Beltane by secretsalex - Rated E - 4K

As the war drags on, Draco becomes a spy for Voldemort and works his way into Harry’s good graces—and his bed. When the Order prepares to invade Malfoy Manor, Draco is forced to examine his loyalties.

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop - Rated E - 70K

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

Like Cinderella, But With Cock by loveglowsinthedark - Rated E - 8K

”Oh, shit,” he groans, “This is like Cinderella, isn’t it?! Like Cinderella, but with cock. Cock instead of slippers.”

Where Harry’s hexed so that he can’t lose his erection until he sleeps with his soulmate. If only those were easier to find.

For the Greater Good by jadepresley - Rated E - 62K

When Harry and Draco discover they’ve been bonded to one another, neither one of them is prepared for the secrets they slowly begin to uncover.

Together, they learn that they can’t escape their past, or the things that have been left hidden there, and that sometimes the only way to move forward is to look back.

Moon-Eyed by loveglowsinthedark - Rated E - 29K

Draco Malfoy, Head of Veela Affairs at the Department of Magical Beings, does not do people favours.

Harry Potter, recently turned werewolf, is not “people” – not to Draco anyway.

Does Draco plan to fall in love with Harry when he decides to help him? No. Does he end up falling in love with him anyway? Pft, what do you think?

All the Sense in the World by loveglowsinthedark - Rated E - 10K

He had absolutely no idea what was about to happen. Maybe Malfoy would kick him in the face. Maybe he’d scream loud enough that the whole school would rush in and see him lying there between Malfoy’s legs with his cock rock hard. Maybe he’d hex Harry’s rock hard cock off. Hell, maybe Harry’d wake in his own bed in a few minutes with a rock hard cock and would never again be able to look at Malfoy without sprouting an instant hard-on.

Or maybe he and Malfoy would have sex.

Lumos by birdsofshore - Rated E - 41K

Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.

Only If For A Night by sloppybitch - Rated E - 14K

Harry hadn’t set out the day before thinking, I know, today I want to dress up in a pizza outfit, get absolutely smashed beyond compare, crash my broom in the middle of the muggle motorway and then fall off of the Westminster bridge into the River Thames, and end up in hospital with Draco bloody Malfoy as my Healer but what else could you expect would happen in your best mate’s stag?

Or,

“What you did was get so drunk that you couldn’t remember your own name, fly over muggle London with absolutely no charms to protect yourself from their view, and stay stationary for long enough that a lorry fucking hit you because you were daydreaming! And then you only fell because you walked over!”

"You sound like a disappointed wife."

"You sound like you'd be experienced in that area."

check this hand ‘cause I’m marvellous by lq__traintracks (lumosed_quill) - Rated E - 8K

Harry's had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.

Something I Don’t Want to Stop by lq__traintracks (lumosed_quill) and traintracks - Rated E - 16K

It's Harry and Draco's eighth year, the Houses have been all but demolished in favor of unity, and they're being forced to room together. How ever will they cope?

It’s Joggers Season (Or so the Muggles say) by carpemermaid - Rated E - 10K

Everything about Draco’s life since May has been one bloody long exercise in subverting everything he’s known, that’s expected of him, in an effort to get as far away from the mistakes he’s made—the wrong choices he was forced into. He’s returned to Hogwarts to take his N.E.W.T.s and everything is different—namely, Harry Potter strutting around in clingy joggers that Draco can’t get off his mind.

Quietly, As Requested by shiftylinguini - Rated E - 5K

Harry was trying to pretend Draco’s warm thigh against his own didn’t make his heart thump and his cock start to fill out inside his usual lazy Sunday attire ― which consisted of a t-shirt with a hole in the armpit and the world’s oldest, rattiest, ugliest and most comfortable pair of joggers. In comparison, Draco was wearing a buttoned up shirt and a pair of crisp, black trousers, which made him both seem impressively attractive and also entirely overdressed for this kind of occasion. Harry lifted one knee, trying to shield the view of his slightly tenting joggers, and the state he was rapidly finding himself in.

Perhaps inviting Draco to Sunday Bad Movie night at Ron’s wasn’t that smart an idea after all.

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