#i will finish this fic if it kills me

[sparkly-angell]

Oscar smoking a cig, Oscar smoking a cig, Oscar smoking a cig, Oscar smo--

[the-boy-meets-evil]

Last Line Tag

thanks to @hobipaint for the tag 💕

Rules: Share the last line you wrote and tag the same number of people as the words in the line.

“Or you could just crash here tonight,” you offer and Chan grips the steering wheel a little harder to steady his nerves.

tagging (i cannot think of 22 people lmao): @effortandmore @hot-soop @ugh-yoongi @tbzhub @wongyuseokie @wonwussy @onlymingyus @shuadotcom and anyone else that would like to play, say i tagged you (and as always, no pressure)

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Can't wait to get home and finish the lesmand smutty fic. It's half done and just waiting for me

[lifeinwisco]

I haven’t been able to write a single word for home since april, and I just wrote 800 words! please send good vibes for continued motivation lol

[refinedbuffoonery]

call me Neil because I've been banging out the tunes and by tunes I mean words on my WIP

[ceo-of-sloppy-men]

why no random White Lies shitposting? because I'm stuck on chapter 27 and trying to wrangle my writing motivation. Good thing I've got enough chapters to take a solid break if I need to

[why-lamp]

i'm finally getting around to reading Killing Time by Della Van Hise.

you know, the Star Trek book that was so gay that it was recalled and reprinted with over 50 changes.

I got my hands on a first edition copy from Thriftbooks and decided to use a sticky tab every time something "spirk" happened

I'm only halfway through.

update its very fucking gay

[soapsbaby]

☆ Day 1 // First time // Leon Kennedy ☆

Summary: You're his first.

Characters: Leon Kennedy x Reader

Themes: NSFW (18+), oral (both receiving), PIV, virginity

Word Count: 1.5k

Leon quietly moaned into your kiss, hands tangled in your shirt as if he was desperate to have something to hold onto. 

His hair had fallen into his face, a smile on his face as you pulled back for a second to gently swipe it away so that he could see. 

The reaction to your makeout session was hard against your thigh. 

You pushed your hand between your two bodies, running over his erection, smiling as he let out a quiet moan.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

You gave him a quick kiss again.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” 

“What is it, hm?”

“I… I have to tell you something.”

His hips bucked into your touch, almost involuntarily, an embarrassed whine escaping his throat as he realized the way his desperate body had betrayed him.

His pale cheeks were now bright red and you could tell that he was struggling to even look you into the eyes.

“I’ve… I’ve never done this before.” 

“What do you mean, sweetheart?”

“I’ve never… Slept with anyone.”, he said so quietly that you could barely understand him. 

You hid your surprise well, luckily. 

You gently cupped his face, he eased into your touch immediately. He was so receptive, so eager for any of the attention you could provide him. 

“Do you want me to be your first?” 

He nodded, still bright red.

“Yes. I’d… Really like that.”

Your hands slipped under his shirt, fingers exploring the ridges of his muscles under his soft skin.

His lips found yours again, kissing you needily.

“Please be my first.”, he whispered, a certain sense of desperation in his voice.

“I want to take off your shirt.”, you said softly, watching his reaction closely, hoping he wouldn’t feel any type of discomfort by your request, but beyond blushing a little harder, he seemed eager.

He pushed himself up from the mattress to give you access to remove his shirt, pulling it over his head. 

The flush on his cheek went all the way down his neck, across his pale chest. 

“You’re so beautiful.”, you said quietly, your hands roaming his chest still, taking in all of him. 

He tugged on your shirt until he had removed it as well, tossing it to the floor.

His eyes scanned your body, gaze falling to your breasts, then jumping up to your eyes again, as if there was any shame in how he wanted to look at you.

"It's okay. You can look. You can even touch if you want, you know?"

You unclasped your bra with a smile, baring your breasts to him. 

"Are you sure?" 

You grabbed his hands, moving them to your chest, smiling as you could feel his inexperience in the way that he touched you, awkwardly kneading your flesh.

Your body tensed as one of his thumbs slid across your nipples, feeling it harden under his touch. 

"Do you like that?", he asked, looking up at you with those puppy eyes of his. 

You nodded, now you were the one to blush.

He hesitated for a moment, then he leaned in, his lips closing around your nipple, tongue darting around it.

His hand moved to the small of your back, anchoring you as your body arched into his touch.

"Fuck… Leon…", you muttered, sighing as his other hand came upward to massage your other breast with a new found confidence from the way you reacted to him.

His hands were so gentle on you, as if he was afraid he'd hurt you otherwise.

"I want to taste you.", he said quietly, lips still pressed to your chest, but slowly working up to your neck.

The hand on your back traveled forward, the tip of his index finger slipping into the waistband of your shorts.

You could see the eagerness in his flushed face, he genuinely meant it. 

You didn't answer, instead just pushing your hips upward, letting him undress the rest of you. 

"You're so beautiful.", he said softly, carefully pushing you back on the bed so he could get easier access to you.

He pushed your legs apart with a gentleness that sent shivers down your spine, kissing across your parted thighs as he worked his way closer to your core.

His eyes fluttered shut as he dragged his tongue across you for a first, almost hesitant taste.

You ran your fingers through his hair, biting back a moan.

"You taste so good.", he whispered, before he leant back in, shorter, quicker licks around your clit now.

Even though his inexperience was obvious, he read you like an open book, interpreting your every noise until he had learnt how to work you, where you needed his tongue, his lips.

"Why are you so good at this?", you panted, feeling yourself slowly build up to your release, your breaths coming in stutters.

He didn't answer, his arm wrapping around your thigh a little tighter as he devoured you.

The moment he sucked your clit between his lips was when you lost it, arching yourself against his face, riding out your orgasm against his lips.

"Fuck… Fuck.", you quietly moaned, grabbing him and pulling him upwards so you could kiss him again.

Your taste was on his lips and you could feel the desperation on him. 

"You did so well.", you muttered as you slowly regained your composure.

His hips grinded against your hand as you palmed him through his pants, he was rock hard.

"I'm sorry you got so little attention.", you said quietly, but he immediately shook his head.

"No. Don't apologize. I could do that forever."

He licked his lips with a grin as if to drive the point home further.

"Still. It's your turn."

He nodded obediently, moving his hips off the bed so you could take his pants off, dragging his boxers down with them.

His erection strained against his stomach.

He bit his lip as you wrapped your hand around him, giving him a gentle first stroke.

His eyes followed you as you bent down before him, kissing along the V lines of his hips.

“Please don’t tease me.”, he whispered breathily, his hand gently in your hair, but not pushing you.

The desperation in his little moans made you try even harder, doing your best to draw even more noises out of him.

He groaned quietly as you took the tip of his cock into your mouth, his body tensing at the new sensation.

“Please…” He didn’t finish his plea, but you knew what he wanted, taking him further into your mouth, tongue swirling around him. 

“How’s that?”, you asked quietly, licking up his shaft with a smile, replacing your mouth with your hand for a moment.

“So good.” He looked at you with a look on his face that you could only interpret as awe, his eyes glazed over in desire.

“Do you want to fuck me, then?” 

“But fuck… I don’t know how long I can last like this.”

There was something akin to embarrassment on his face, but you shut it down immediately, sitting up so you could put a kiss on his lips, gently reassuring him.

You climbed onto him, grabbing his hands and placing them onto your hips, giving him something to hold onto.

He nodded eagerly, even though you could see the nervousness on his face. Your choice of words flustered him even more.

“Hey, there is nothing you can do wrong, okay?”

You kissed him again, gently, passionately, until you pushed him backwards onto the bed.

He whined quietly as you grabbed his cock, lining it up with your pussy. 

You gave him a questioning look, he just answered with a nod, so you slowly lowered yourself on him.

His lips parted with a gasp, grip tightening on you as he took in the feeling, overwhelmed by your warmth and wetness.

“So fucking good.”, he repeated.

You leaned forward, kissing him hungrily, drowning out his quiet moans with your lips as you slowly lifted your hips before moving downward again, giving you a few slow, first movements to adapt to his size.

“You feel so good.”, he panted, his eyes finally opening again, watching you in amazement, eyes wandering down to the spot where your bodies met.

You slowly picked up the pace, always keeping watch of him and his reaction, but there was nothing on his pretty face other than adoration.

His body fit against yours almost perfectly, the way his hands were grabbing you, your chest against his, his cock inside of you.

“I think I’m close already.”, he said, almost apologetically.

You stopped your movement for a moment, gently cupping your face.

There were beads of sweat on his forehead, his hair damp against his forehead.

“Do you want to try to be on top?”

He nodded. He grabbed you without slipping out of you, pushing you to be the one on your back.

He pounded into you quicker than you had ridden him earlier, panting heavily next to your ear, lips pressed against your neck.

“I’m so fucking close.”, he muttered, his voice breathy.

“Keep going, then.” 

You grabbed his face, pulling him in for another kiss as you could feel his thrusts start to stutter, hands grasping the sheets next to your head.

He pulled out of you, leaving you almost painfully empty as he shot thick ropes of cum onto your stomach, moaning desperately against your lips.

With a final groan he collapsed on top of you, easing into your embrace as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

“That was perfect.”

[mxltifxnd0m]

hotter than fire  ࿔ s. stilinski

summary: a heat wave has hit beacon hills and the pack spends a day at lydia's pool

pairings: stiles stilinski x reader, stiles stilinski x fem! reader

word count: 2.7K

warnings: no use of y/n, fluff, kissing/making out, one mention of sex

a/n: RAHH this fic took a little longer than anticipated bc writers block is a bitch and i had to rewrite the beginning bc i hated it :) but the title is a lyric from west coast by lana del rey!

please be sure to comment and reblog! it helps out a lot and i love seeing your thoughts on the fic!!

𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘬𝘪 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

The cool July night air brought little reprieve to your sticky skin as you sat on the edge of Lydia's pool, staring into the illuminated pool. You snuck out of the dark living room as the rest of the pack was watching a random movie that Lydia had on DVD, wanting to take a breather to yourself. As much as you loved hanging out with your friends, you wanted a little time to yourself since today was a little overstimulating. Living in the middle of Northern California wasn't any fun when a heat wave struck. 

The humidity made everything feel damp and made you want to crawl out of your skin. All you wanted to do was cease to exist when one of the worst heat waves hit Beacon Hills. Each time you went outside, it was like stepping into one of the circles of hell, and your only saving grace was the A/C that was on blast in your house. 

The last thing you wanted to deal with after the shitshow that was Beacon Hills' problem with the supernatural was the heat. But as fate would have it, the A/C in your house had broken in the morning. Your parents were on a business trip, so you were left home alone with no working A/C, and the only thing that was keeping you cool was the tile flooring of your kitchen and cold showers. 

Then Lydia, being your savior, invited everyone to a pool day. You had to ask if you could stay over with her for a few days until your parents came back and got someone to fix the A/C. Lydia asked her mom, and thankfully, she said yes. So when you arrived at her house, you had a duffle bag in one hand and some drinks in the other for the pool day. Since you were the first one at Lydia's house, you helped her get set up, like helping prep the snacks and making sure the inflatables that Lydia had in storage were blown up. 

The pack eventually showed up, and that's when the fun began for the six of you (Liam was busy, so he couldn't come to the pool day). You spent most of the day in and out of the water, but most of the time, you were in the cool water since you couldn't bear the heat. You had to force yourself to look away from Stiles at times because your eyes would always find him and study the freckles that covered the length of his back and some of his chest. Then, you would always catch Lydia giving you a knowing look and a sly smile as she sunbathed on one of the lounge chairs outside of the pool. But at different points in the day, you could have sworn you could feel a burning stare on you, but you never caught the culprit. 

As the sun fell, you guys eventually got out of the pool and rinsed off, either in the outdoor shower that Lydia had or in the bathrooms inside. You decided to take an actual shower since you couldn't stand the feel of chlorine lingering in your hair. Once you were done, you padded downstairs in some old boxers of your dad's and a plain blue baby tee that you would wear to sleep. You (heard) found the pack in the living room, crowded around the pizzas that you would later find out that Lydia's mom had ordered for the six of you.

The living room was filled with lively chatter as you guys ate, talking about the upcoming school year and complaining about the heat. A poll was going around about what movie you guys would watch as you finished the pizza. Once the movie was picked, you figured that popcorn wasn't going to be made by itself, so you volunteered to make it. As you got up, Stiles stood up along with you, and he sat across from you. 

You looked at him with a raised brow. 

He shrugged. "I figured you'll need help carrying the bags back." Stiles said as he wiped his hands on the back of his thighs. 

The creaking of the door that led to the backyard broke you out of your thoughts as you raised your head, resting on your knees from staring at the water, and turned your head to see Stiles sticking his head out of the door. His whiskey-colored eyes met yours as he made his way out of the house. You gave him a half smile, feeling your heartbeat pick up as he smiled back at you. 

You were grateful that he wasn't a werewolf or had enhanced hearing. You took in Stiles as he made his way over to you. He was wearing a red shirt and some black joggers he had changed into after the pool, and his hair was flat and sticking to his forehead since there wasn't any product in it. 

You untucked your knees from your chest and put your feet in the water. The cool water felt refreshing on your skin, the water coming up to your mid-calf. Stiles came to sit next to you, leaving only but a foot of space between the two of you, and he rolled his joggers to mirror you, putting his feet in the water. 

"Hi." Stiles greeted you as he turned to face you. 

You smiled at him as you looked at him. "Hey." 

He pursed his lips as he looked around for a brief moment and looked back at you. 

"So, uh. Nice weather we're having right?" 

You chuckled at his awkwardness. "Yeah, it is. If you minus the humidity, it's pretty alright." You said while nodding at him. 

A silence settled between you and Stiles. You leaned back on your hands as you let your head fall backward and looked up at the stars. They were out tonight, and they were scattered throughout the sky. Some weren't bright, and a few looked like they were planes, but the bright ones, they looked like they were twinkling. 

You let out a contented sigh. "The sky is pretty tonight." 

"Yeah," You heard Stiles clear his throat. "It is." He all but whispered, but you still heard him, even over the chirping of the crickets nearby. 

You felt the familiar burning stare you had felt earlier today as you swam, and you pulled your eyes away from the sky to find Stiles looking at you intently. As your eyes met his, Stiles seemed to snap out of his daze and averted his eyes back toward the water. You smirked to yourself as you sat back up. 

Suddenly, confidence filled your veins when you shuffled to sit closer to Stiles, your shoulders brushing against each other as you leaned forward and tried to catch Stiles's gaze, but it seemed that he was avoiding your eyes. You saw a faint red hue against his sun-kissed cheeks, his moles and freckles scattered throughout his face and neck as the glow from the pool light that illuminated his features. 

"Stiles." You called out to him. 

He looked at you slowly, his eyes timid as he licked his bottom lip nervously. Your eyes flickered down to his lips at his actions before they quickly snapped back to his eyes. 

"Were you staring at me instead of the sky?" You couldn't help but say with a teasing smirk dancing on your lips. 

You can see Stiles get visibly more flustered, the faint blush on his cheeks now spreading to his ears and neck. 

"Wh-what? Pff no." Stiles tried to deny it, but he wasn't convinced of himself either. 

You couldn't help but giggle and lean towards him. "If it makes you feel better, I liked that you were looking at me." 

Stiles's eyes widened slightly as he looked at you in disbelief. "Really?" He asked dumbly. 

"Mhm." You bit your bottom lip as you tried to contain the wide grin that threatened to appear on your face as you nodded at him. You noticed his eyes were blown out as they flitted down your lips before meeting your eyes. 

"Do you want to kiss me Stiles?" You asked boldly. 

It seemed that your question short-circuited him. "Huh?" Was the only thing he could respond with.

You huffed out a laugh through your nose. "I asked you if you wanted to kiss me." You said as you leaned even more toward him. At this point, your noses were touching, and your lips threatened to brush against his. 

You saw Stiles swallow thickly before nodding.

"Words, Stiles. I need words." You whispered. 

"I want to kiss you so badly." Stiles let the words fall out of his mouth, not even bothering to filter his words. 

You smirked as you brushed your lips against his before pulling back slightly. "You're gonna have to catch me first." You said before pulling back entirely from him and getting up from your place on the edge of the pool, the water sloshing around from the sudden movement. 

You laughed at the dumbfounded look on his face as you started to run through Lydia's big backyard. It seemed that the water lapping at Stiles's leg and your laugh broke him out of his stupor, and he immediately jumped into action. He quickly got up from his position and saw that you were on the opposite side of the pool from him, with a grin on your face. 

Stiles couldn't help but start smiling at your infectious smile and darted to the right, trying to get to you as fast as he could. You swiftly went in the opposite direction; now, this was the start of the cat-and-mouse game between the two of you. You ran in circles around the pool a couple of times, hiding behind the pillars that surrounded the pool if Stiles managed to get on the same side you were on, but you were slowly getting tired, so you decided when you were on the shorter end of the pool, you ran towards the doors. 

But before you could even make it to the steps of the awning that led to the doors of the backyard, you had forgotten that Stiles was taller than you and had a longer stride, so you squealed when you felt him grab your waist from behind and hoisted you in the air in his arms. He spun you guys around, Stiles and your joyous laughter filling the quiet night with a certain warmth and affection that could be only found in lovestruck teens. 

Stiles eventually stopped spinning and set you down, your back facing the pool as you guys were near the edge of it. His grip on you wasn't tight, but his hands never fell from your hips as you spun around and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. The both of you had identical breathless smiles on your faces as Stiles rested his forehead against yours. One of your hands moved to rest on the nape of his neck and played with the short hairs there as you stared at Stiles. 

His usual whiskey-colored eyes were blown out, and he only saw a sliver of his eye color. 

"I caught you." Stiles said as he calmed down, his chest heaving slightly. 

You smiled. "You did."

"Can I kiss you?" Stiles asked with a whisper. 

Instead of responding, you tilted your head and placed your lips on his. The kiss was hesitant, testing the waters as you felt the softness of Stiles's lips. It was short, but it still filled your veins with warmth as he pulled back from it. You opened your eyes, a soft smile on your lips. Stiles's eyes were filled with desire and something else, but you couldn't tell because he had all but slammed his lips against yours, pulling you into a passionate kiss. 

Stiles pulled you closer to him as one of his hands began to move and rest on your waist, the other moving higher to cup your cheek as he swiped at your bottom lip with his tongue. You couldn't help but let a soft noise leave the back of your throat as you tasted the salt and butter from the popcorn he was eating earlier as his tongue explored your mouth. You unconsciously tugged at Stiles's hair, making him groan loudly, sending a vibration through you and down to your core, feeling the warmth beginning to grow in your belly. 

Neither of you noticed, but Stiles was pushing the two of you backward, and before you knew it, the cold water of the pool enveloped the two of you. The two of you broke away from each other and quickly swam to the surface of the pool. Once you wiped the water from your eyes, you looked at Stiles with wide eyes before you started to chuckle. Then your chuckle turned into a full-blown laughing fit. Then you heard Stiles begin to join you in your hysterical laughter. 

Once you calmed down, you swam a short distance towards Stiles and wrapped your arms around his shoulders once again. He grabbed your waist before his hands slid down to your thighs and maneuvered you to wrap your legs around his waist. 

Both of you were still smiling widely at each other. You leaned down slightly to place your lips on Stiles's again. The change in scenery didn't stop you at all from kissing Stiles. You knew once you had kissed Stiles, it would be impossible to stop. You guys traded kisses ranging from passionate to slow ones as Stiles waded in the water. You guys lost yourselves in each other, time ceasing to exist as you ran your hands through Stiles's wet hair and Stiles's hands gripping your thighs firmly. 

Eventually, when you broke away for air, a slight breeze blew through the air, and a shiver racked your body. 

Stiles frowned. "We should probably get out before someone catches us making out in Lydia's pool." He joked slightly as he started to move you guys to the shallow end. 

"Too late!" You heard Lydia's voice echo throughout the backyard. 

The two of you both jumped, and your heads snapped to see Lydia standing a little ways away from the pool with her arms crossed and a smug smile on her face. You quickly escaped from Stiles's grip as the two of you got out of the pool. You both looked at her sheepishly. 

Lydia tossed you two spare towels that were on the lounge chair nearby. "Glad you two finally figured it out. But if you're staying over Stiles, keep the noise to a minimum please." She said before heading back inside. 

You saw out of the corner of your eye that Stiles rolled his eyes at Lydia but began drying off. You couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, making his head jerk towards you. 

"Something funny?" Stiles asked as he dried his hair with the towel. 

"Nope." You said as you toweled off as best as you could. 

Stiles wrapped his towel around his neck and took a step towards you. At this point, you weren't dripping wet, but your clothes still clung to you. His eyes roamed up and down your body, as he used his index finger to make you look at him. You could see the lust fill his eyes, and you placed a hand on his chest before he could take another step. 

"Down, boy." You said jokingly. "We'll have time for that later, besides I don't want to have sex in Lydia's house of all places." 

Stiles started to sputter. "Wh-what! What makes you think I wanted to have sex with you? No! I meant I do, but like-" 

You quickly silenced his ramblings with a quick kiss before pulling back. "I got it Stiles. Again, we'll have time for that later." You said before sending him a reassuring smile. 

Stiles nodded sharply. "Right, right. It'll happen. Wait. Does that mean that we're together now?" 

An amused chuckle left your lips. "Yeah, I hope so." 

"Then we are." Stiles said with a goofy smile on his face, clearly elated at the notion of the two of you being together. 

"Okay then boyfriend, let's get inside because I'm in desperate need of changing out of these wet clothes." 

"Okay, let's go girlfriend." 

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday

tagged by @tizniz @strandfirefly 💖

I said I'm not starting new wips at least until the 7x10 fic is done but.... I started a new wip 🙈 I shared some of it yesterday for the wip tag game, but I wrote some more lol

___

And so he gets up, taking deep breaths, trying to appear as normal as possible, and just as he’s about to take a step away from the bed, Tommy’s hand shoots up and wraps around Buck’s wrist loosely, from where he’s still spread out on the bed, now propping himself up on his elbow.

“Baby, you okay?” he asks, and Buck looks at him, sees the worry in his eyes, the small crease between his eyebrows, as he’s looking Buck up and down looking for any sign of something being wrong. Shit. It’s annoying sometimes, how quickly he became so well-attuned to Buck, how he knows him so well, and he’s so damn perceptive. Sometimes it’s adorable, and hot, and fills Buck with so much affection. Right now, it’s a nuisance. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” Buck smiles. Or, he tries, because at that moment he tries to step away again, and a searing jolt of pain shoots down his leg again, and he releases a breath that sounds like he was punched in the gut.

“Yeah, you’re clearly not fine.” Tommy raises an eyebrow, but his eyes are still full of concern. He tugs on Buck’s wrist lightly. “Come back here,” he pats the space on the bed Buck just vacated, and it’s so tempting, and he’s in pain, and he just wants to sit back down. But he’s also stubborn, and he decided that he’s fine and that he doesn’t want Tommy to worry for no reason.

___

no pressure tags: @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @bucks-daddy-issues @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @daffi-990 @aroeddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13 @hippolotamus @your-catfish-friend @loveyouanyway @theotherbuckley @diazsdimples @kinard-buckley @evansboyfriend @bucked-it-up @bidisasterevankinard @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @weewootruck

[xiewho]

hiii :) i just wanted 2 say i love how u draw gorgug and fabian thistlecaster is such an underrated ship and their interactions are some of the best in fh

HI ANONNN THANK U !! i wholly agree they have such a fun and interesting dynamic i wish people explored more !! here's a silly gorgug + fabian moment from fhsy for u <3 (cause i want an excuse to draw them again hehe) hoot growl baby !!

[charleslelurk]

Rule 63 lestappen where they are the first two women f1 drivers and they hate one another because they have achieved this in totally different ways where charles has made herself palatable to the public by being pretty and fuckable and it gets her a seat at the table because it means men will give her the time of day. But Max has done it by ruthlessly being the best and gets tons of bad press for it but people can't deny that she is a better driver than a lot of the men she competes against, but she constantly gets flack for not wearing makeup and not caring and being brutally honest and not playing the PR game and people call her a bitch. Charles looks at that and says "why would you ever so blatantly do things that cause you bad press" and Max looks at Charles and says "Why would you play into their hands like that, play the game how they want you to" and the tension comes from the ways they are tackling misogyny in the sport entirely differently

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie was aware that nothing that was currently happening, was his fault. He did know that, really. But he couldn’t help but think that if he had just fucking graduated this whole thing would be someone else’s problem. He and Steve would be off in Indianapolis at this very moment, probably cuddling in bed. Maybe even doing something more. 

The idea kind of fell apart on the sole fact that he would not let Chrissy die. But still. Eddie wasn’t happy. Because instead of a cozy apartment he was here, trying and failing to find a reason for Steve not to be the one to jump off this god damn boat.

“I can see a glow,” Nancy said, as she looked over the edge, “But that’s it. Someone’s going to have to check to make sure it’s actually down there.”

“I’ll go,” Steve volunteered, because of course he fucking would. 

But Eddie wasn’t quite as willing, “What else could it be? Glowing, hellish lights have to be a gate. We don’t need to fucking double check-”

Before Eddie could go on his full on rant, Steve was kissing him quiet, quickly mumbling against his mouth,  “I’ll be fine. Trust me, okay?”

Eddie did, but trust didn’t matter when you were dealing with portals that led to the damn netherworld. He frowned when Steve stepped back, but he didn’t argue again. He watched him tear his sweater over his head, tossing it to him before divining right in. Eddie clenched his fists while he waited, the pain of his nails digging into his skin a welcome distraction. 

The seconds crawled by, Eddie’s anxiety getting more suffocating with every passing moment. But then Steve was finally breaking the surface. 

He took a deep breath as he crossed his arms over the edge of the boat, panting when he said, “It’s definitely down there-”

Then he was gone, dragged under the water by something unseen. So fast that he didn’t even have a chance to scream. 

“Steve?” Eddie called out, like his panicked voice would magically make him reappear,  “Steve!?”

There was nothing. No splashes, no noises, nothing he could hear outside of his own panickied breathing. He was barely in control of his own body when he stood, every second feeling like an hour as he rushed towards the edge. 

He dove right in.

from the next chapter of this fic

[cavennmalore]

one of the worst things about publicly saying you’re working on something is then you have to finish it

[djdangerlove]

The horrors (not having the energy to write) persist but so do I (having fics ideas at an alarming rate).

[eveningrainstorm]

People often talk about Rio Ranger as if he's the doll version of Sei but what I find super fascinating is that he isn't, not in the same way Fake Reko or the Dummies are replications of their human counterparts.

Ranger resembles Sei on a surface level — same physical appearance, just an unclear amount older; same way of speaking. But he is unmistakably different. Ranger is an incomplete being, missing his positive emotions, but even the true Ranger is Rio Laizer rather than Sei, because there's still something different.

Rio Ranger is, fundamentally, inhuman and yet desperate to be human. He was created to be jealous of humanity and despite his hatred for them, humanity is what he is always striving for. But it is something that he doesn't possess, and is forced to steal instead. He takes clothes from the dead and uses drawings on cards to feign emotion; he is the Dress-Up Doll, Rearranger, not possessor of anything of his own.

While the other dolls based on humans in the game have identity issues based on their personhood being defined by someone else, being merely a copy of another person, Ranger is not even allowed Sei's identity to base himself on — it's very likely he doesn't even know who Sei was. He does not have Sei's clothes — nondescript and tied to Asunaro as they are — and he does not have the capacity for expressing emotion that Sei had.

When comparing Ranger and Sei in terms of personality, differences are obvious. There are similarities, naturally — besides the abrasive way of speaking, there's the jealousy and desire for validation. But in Ranger, these are present to an extreme — they're all he has. (And, ironically, this is what Gashu claims to believe makes him so human, even when Ranger's inhumanity comes through most clearly in this lack of anything else.)

In Sei, on the other hand, these traits are tempered by logic, to put things in YTTD's beloved logic vs. emotion dichotomy. Despite his outwardly emotional nature, from what we see of him he appears realistic and focused on survival in a way that Kai isn't. He's aggressive and overly casual about killing people, but he doesn't express the glee at violence that Ranger does, only a fierce desire to prove himself and survive. Sei is jealous of Kai and desires Gashu's affection, but also has an understanding of the situation he's in that both Kai and Ranger lack — he can tell that Gashu doesn't care about him as much as he does Kai, and recognizes that the way Gashu treats both of them is wrong. Ranger believes Gashu truly loves him, a fact proven blatantly false by his eventual demise at Gashu's hands. Ironically, this blindness is more similar to Kai as we see him in his minisode, rather than Sei.

Of course, this understanding isn't simply a part of Sei's basic nature, but rather the fact that unlike Kai and Ranger, he has past experience to go on. Sei wasn't born into the Satou family — though his exact origins are unclear, based on his grief for his birth father and how he talks about Asunaro ("all this shady organization crap"), it's possible he wasn't even born into Asunaro at all. Before being sent to Gashu, he had his own father, one who we don't know anything about but whom he apparently loved. He doesn't accept Gashu's treatment of him and Kai the way Kai does because he has known a different father and a different way of life. This doesn't free him from Asunaro's influence — he still accepts the role of assassin they give him and resigns himself to becoming a killer. What choice does he have, after all? But he carries no illusions about Asunaro or his role in it. He knows that the training is cruel, that he is viewed only as a tool, that Asunaro is wrong even if they are also not worth resisting.

This is a major part of why Ranger isn't Sei, why he cannot be; because Asunaro is all Ranger knows. They are his creators, who he was literally built to serve. In Ranger's mind, he is not only Gashu's son and heir, but his creation, his masterpiece. And of course he wouldn't have been created with Sei's memories — why take that risk? Why give him any sort of knowledge of a life outside Asunaro or reason to be disloyal to them?

Ranger is not Sei — so why model Ranger after him? Because Ranger is the idea of Sei, what Sei was meant to be: a counterpart to Kai, a rival, a second choice. Gashu preferred Kai, once; Kai won out over Sei. But Kai has proven himself a failure and betrayed Asunaro, leaving Gashu with no choice but turn once more to Kai's long-dead competition. Ranger is, like Sei, the opposite of Kai, temperamental and vulgar while Kai is stoic and polite, and perhaps more importantly, capable of murder while Kai steadfastly is not.

And yet Ranger isn't Sei. Sei was jealous of those — specifically Kai — he saw as superior or at least as being treated as such; Ranger is this idea taken to its natural conclusion. Sei had lost everything he had outside of Asunaro; Ranger never had anything else to begin with. Sei was a human; Ranger will never be, doomed to forever long otherwise. Ranger is Sei only in the ways Sei was useful — desperate for recognition, willing to kill, a perfect rival to Kai — but something entirely different, an inhuman machine, in all the ways Sei was a liability.

Sei was human, and he knew that he deserved to have that fact respected. Ranger isn't human and gets only the wanting, desperate to be as good as a human even humanity itself is unattainable. Of course, it isn't being a doll that is actually Ranger's problem — it's Asunaro, who view humans and dolls alike as disposable. Sei's humanity didn't make him any less of a tool as far as Asunaro was concerned, it only made him more difficult to control. All Sei wanted was to be seen as an equal to Kai, a person worthy of respect — and this is what he gets, in the end: his face and voice used as a base for one of Asunaro's weapons, while his true identity and personhood remains forgotten.

Ranger has nothing to hold him back from doing his duty for Asunaro, nor does he have anything to hold onto outside of it. In that sense, Ranger is an ideal asset for Asunaro — at least until the very jealousy and hatred Gashu programmed into him goes too far, and he is, once again, deemed a failure. Ironically, Gashu shoots Ranger for attempting to kill a participant, when willingness to kill was perhaps the one true advantage Sei had over Kai.

In the end, Ranger is offered no more humanity in his death than Sei is — they are both merely pawns of Asunaro, set to die at its whims. But while Sei dies in the arms of his brother, receiving one final act of kindness as Kai refuses to kill him, Ranger has no one in either of his deaths but his creators: in his death as Rio Laizer the dubious kindness of Tia Safalin, making his final moments full of agonizing guilt, and of course in his first death, as Rio Ranger, nothing but Gashu's coldness, the bullet in his head a sort of culmination to the favoritism Sei found weighed against him, and a demonstration of just how far Gashu has come from the father who once genuinely cared for Sei. Sei was human, Ranger was not, but as far as Asunaro is concerned, they are exactly the same: tools, easily thrown away as soon as they stop being useful.