#well if ppl want this. i can figure it out
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I’m thinking Floyd x Reader for Valentine’s Day, where, Reader really likes Floyd but is obviously too scared to say anything(like a lot of ppl would be with him…) because of the obvious fear he won’t like them back due to his nature of frequently changing his interests, and his mood swings as the added bonus.
Floyd, however, is also taking a serious liking to Reader but he doesn’t realize it himself, just following his instinct that Reader is really important to him, but both Azul and Jade can tell quite well that he’s not just “normal” about Reader. Reader is oblivious to his actions cause they think it’s normal, but they both are eventually given a slight push to confess by Jade and Azul, Azul does it more so for the sake of his business, but after that, then happily ever after…BOOM
WRITE IT OR DON’T, FEEL FREE TO CHANGE OR INTERPRET ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY IF YOUD LIKE :3
(Damn I yapped too much…and you totally don’t know me or have been talking to me…and we’re totally not moots…totally, and I’m definitely not MsCherub, like I’m definitely not her, she sucks <3)
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[TWST] Floyd Leech X Reader
Warnings: Floyd Leech
A/N: Ah yes this def isn't my mutual sure sure... anyways FLOYD OUT OF ALL PEOPLE YEESH your a freakazoid... (I literally love octanivelle but I will take that to my grave) also I'M SO TIRED WTF DID I EVEN WRITE I THINK I HALF ASSED IT OMG CAUSE I WANTED TO TRY SOMTHING NEW THAT WASN'T HEADCANNONS Also like I think I dropped this on its head because I dont usually write You/your in first perspective only headcannons cause its short so this made me die IM SORRY ANYWAYS HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY! If your like me and have nobody or are also like me who hates couples/J then YAY we can celebrate that together. I plan to be a menace to my friends relationships and make them pay for my food when we go out cause Yes anyways enjoy this and happy valentines day or whatever you celebrate!
Summary: [MC] has a crush on Floyd but they can't talk to floyd out of obvious fear for not only who Floyd is known as but aswell as the fear he won’t like them back due to his nature of frequently changing his interests, and his mood swings as the added bonus. Floyd, however, is also taking a serious liking to MC but he doesn’t realize it himself, just following his instinct that Reader is really important to him, but both Azul and Jade can tell quite well that he’s not just “normal” about Reader. Reader is oblivious to his actions cause they think it’s normal, but they both are eventually given a slight push to confess by Jade and Azul, Azul does it more so for the sake of his business, but after that, then happily ever after…BOOM
Being interested into Floyd Leech was already a warning sign from the start. Out of everybody you could be able to like it was somebody with a bad reputation for one of the many scary things in NRC.
Not only was your crush from Octanivelle one fo the shadiest dorms even if being dubbed A dorm based on the Sea Witch's spirit of benevolence but one of the Tweels a Leech twin the one who is known to be filled with mood swings and quick to loose interests faster then the speed of light could even react to was a crush YOUR crush. A huge mistake on your part not only for falling for him but for having Grim staring at you and shouting at you hitting you with a pillow for being a baffoon for falling for Floyd. The guy was unable to read along with the fact he and the other two in octanivelle had him work in soapy dishes how could you do this to him :O When Ace and Deuce figured out that well you liked Floyd they stared at you as if you got possessed by a demon even worse is the fact you were in ramshackle overthinking plotting every outcome every change every thing that could happen for better or for worse as Ace and Deuce 'helped' more like Ace was asking if you were mentally okay and Deuce awkwardly telling you that he supports your choices but floyd was unpredictable someone who could get bored of you easily.
Which always made them all wary since Floyd was getting close to you abit too much how he was close to you looking over your shoulder clinging to your body boredly calling you out and cheering when seeing you but when floyd isn’t in the mood he’d scowl even when he goes to find you. Nobody knows why but it scares the shit out of Ace and Deuce who were still trying to convince you that it might not be a good idea due to how unpredictable he is which you already knew.
Floyd leech was a person who was unpredictable always switching up and that fear knawed at your chest. His mood swings make it hard to predict what he'll say or do next aswell so the thought of him denying your relationship hurt but the other hand is if you did start to question what if he lost interest fast what if he wouldn’t hang around you anymore because you became Boring. Yet fear still lingered as your hands gripped onto a sheet of paper in front of you one of the basic ways of confessing yet the paper in your hands was something that you put effort into.
Recently through days you would have the letter inside your blazer pockets. Walking class to class passing in the hallway to head to the cafeteria where Grim, Deuce and Ace were.
You couldn’t help but keep your attention focused on the floor weaving through people shoes clacking against the tiles below mind rambling with thoughts.
Though today a certain twin eel spotted you head down headphones in and heading towards the cafeteria "Shrimpyyyy" you couldn't help but freeze when you saw Floyd wrap an arm over your shoulder bending down to your face as you let out an awkward chuckle greeting the male who made you tense tighter with his hand placing on your waist for a moment. You smiled towards the male who grinned lazily "Open your hand" you couldn't help but blink before opening your hand out to floyd who held your hands for a moment before he closed your hand into a fist before he plopped his chin ontop of your head as you opened your closed fist to see a pearl covered in a silver and gold mixed band that wrapped around it. A sound of confusion came from you as your eyes continued to lay onto the pearl ring "Ya like it?" your eyes snapped back into focus to floyd as you blinked nodding slowly "yeah... thanks" Floyd beamed before the two of you continued to walk together many students left the hallway trying to get away from where you two were standing. Where FLOYD was standing. Most people in school avoided the eel like the plague yet here you were close to Floyd who was rambling to you "So where we goin?" "OH I just plan to eat with Ace and Deuce" Floyd couldn't help but hum before looking away to the garden grinning to see a small pond before grabbing you and yanking you towards the direction "Sounds boring let's go there!" "EH?! FLOYD!" Even with him dragging you around you couldn't help but giggle at how he was dragging you around with a huge grin rambling to you. Clinging to you. Though Riddle would now seem to bolt out of the room. You have never scene the boy run so fast in your life not even in beanfest but when it came to Floyd? and now You he was gone in a flash because wherever you were Floyd would somehow appear. This would happen even more recently now he'd cling to your body threaten to squeeze someone and would drag you around with a lazily smile eyes staring at you. Unaware of Jade and Azul watching from afar with a fussing Grim who was trying to get them to leave you alone.
When Floyd got pointed out by Jade how he seemed to be getting very close to the prefect Floyd would shake it off until jade would mock his brother with a grin with how he's been doing mer courting and eel mating rituals. Floyd scoffed at Jade "Eh? Shrimpy and I are just friends" "Indeed so but what about how you two were knotted together one time when at the library?" "They were cold" "And when you yawned showing your teeth" Floyds eye twitched towards his brother as Jade continued "Dancing with Shrimpy in the sea at school hours nuzzling against them aggressively and Creating a pearl ring for them without knowing anything about jewelry, giving them scales, a tooth, along with-" Floyd was so close to tackling his brother in annoyance scowling as Azul even agreed how Floyd has been not going to many of his shifts but he didn't know the reason why. Floyd though soon realized that he may have been doing merfolk courting rituals. Though he didn't find it any change he still like shrimpy for being shrimpy so he continued to do what he did anyway even with a pissed off Azul trying to find him when he randomly disappears.
After that he’d keep approaching you with odd and sweet gifts. He'd hand you shells, metal, shiny items, and three times with someones tooth that he got... along with a handful of scales that you paled at awkwardly taking them. Floyd has never experienced the crush stage and he doesn't want to after all that's boring but hey he enjoyed seeing your little reactions.
The sound of clanking utensils, chatter and jazz filled the room of monstro lounge along with the wafting scents of different platters of food escaping the kitchen where a certain Tweel was cooking with an annoyed look plastered onto his face.
The male infront of the pan stopped what he was doing and turned his attention to a octanivelle student beside him who flinched. Floyds right gold eye glinting with his olive brown one “Oy… take my shift” he said leaving the pan and chucking the apron onto the students face causing them to flinch and let out a noise of confusion turning to try get their upperclassman to get back to work yet was met with the kitchen doors shutting as the student frowned “Thats so not fair”
Floyd trudged through monstro lounge passing Jades post where he was cleaning the glasses the other twin staring at his brother “Floyd leaving once more?” The male leaned against the counter grinning lazily “yeah I got bored” Jade let out a loud hum of acknowledgment smiling at floyd.
“Are you off to visit the prefect?” Jade questioned as Floyd moved lazily to his brother and grinned “Yeah I’m visiting shrimpy” Jade hummed closing his eyes and giving another grin “Well then maybe give them some of the chocolates to try out for monstro lounge that Azul has made for our valentines day menu” Jade placed down the glass he was cleaning to the side. Floyd let out a tired “Sure” before snagging one of the decorated heart boxes leaving monstro lounge door closing behind him.
The moment Floyd left Azul walked over to the bar where Jade was stationed “JADE! Where is floyd he’s on his shift and I usually wouldn’t care but were dealing with rush hour right now” Azul said fixing his glasses with a strained tone “Ah… He left to visit the prefect” “Again?!” Azul replied eyebrows furrowed biting his lip in annoyance at the amount of work that Floyd has recently been avoiding “Tsk… It seems we have to have a chat with the prefect so we can discuss why floyd keeps on leaving his shifts… such a hassle” Jade handed the octopus mer a glass of water that he drank quietly “How long do you think Floyd will last?” Jade questioned Azul causing his boss to look at him confused “With?” “The prefect… You know it I know it. It’s been quite entertaining to see the Prefect relax around Floyd, and Floyd being more affectionate in a way with the prefect infact last week he went to the beach and got them a pearl he was showing it off to me after he got it asking if I knew how to make it a ring” Azul’s face paled “He WHAT?!” Jade grinned behind his hand staring at him “Oh he mustn’t have told you” “FLOYD”
Floyd started heading over to ramshackle hands playing with the weird heart shaped box filled with sweets a look of boredomn on his face before hearing quiet muttering up ahead of a famillar person. You Floyd grinned to see you hunched over muttering to yourself while holding a piece of paper an envelope in your hands "Shrimpyyyy" You couldn't help but flinch snapping your head over to floyd while you gripped onto the envelope "Floyd!" You exclaimed eyes wide and body tense as Floyd grinned "Whats this" he said taking the envelope from you handing you the chocolate box "Oh yeah Jade and Azul wanted you to try those out... I think I just snagged one" he shrugged leaning beside you on a pillar as you awkwardly thanked him but tried to snatch back the small envelope in his hand that he lifted away from you grinning as he kept a hand on your head to keep you down. Floyd eyes wandered through the letter his teasing grin pausing as he had a blank face one that he'd use when he'd find someone annoying or boring eyes focused onto the sheet of paper in his hand. He slowly turned to you as you stared at him with sheer panic and shaky pupils "I- Just let me explain! just if you don't like me back thats fine completely ignore me just don't hold this against me ignore everything I said please-" Your rambling was cut off when you felt arms grab onto you swaying you around giggling happily with closed eyes "AHH SHRIMPY~! Your so stupid" he beamed squeezing you tighter in a bone crushing hug.
Later on you'd somehow find yourself dragged back into monstro lounge by Azul with Floyd appearing every now and then grinning at you. Unaware if you were dating or not but with how affectionate he's been getting recently after that gave your answer. Azul though would now have to start paying you to come to monstro lounge so Floyd doesn't leave to go find you more as he continued to complain about financial funds but hey you finally got to date a moray eel mer... who surprisingly clings onto you when you cuddle and sleep together chewing on your shoulder lightly while drooling. Bonus OF WHAT THE FUCKERY:
Azul: BOBBY (Floyd) ! Floyd: AAAAAGHHHH Azul: I just bought this imaginary festival. Now I want you off the roof Floyd: IM ON DRUGS Azul: The only drug you're on is loneliness [MC]: Is- is this normal... Jade: Mhm
#floyd leech#floyd x reader#floyd leech x reader#twst floyd#Jade leech#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#twst wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#jade leech#azul ashengrotto#fanfic#x reader#gender neutral reader#y/n#x y/n#floyd leech x you#Floyds a menace#I HAVE BEEF WITH OCTANIVELLE
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lowkey wanna do a pr1 ship bracket tournament. i dont rly know how to run one. but it could be fun. lmk if u would be into this
#astro talks#private recording 1#the latest traffic series one has got me wanting to make one for shit that u dont knw whos gonna win#(i mean my guess would be ze/chilled? just for being the og but it would still be interesting to see)#i guess it would be rpf? or just unspecified lol#im not in teh discord (bc discords make me anxious) but if i was thats where i would float this idea#i have no expericen running smth like this. so it would probably be a mess. but it coudl be fun?#dude im telling u. ritalin has changed my entire life. all of this motivation ??? for things !!!#and obv pr1 is a vague-ass catoagory#but if we do it on submissions (and then also ones i like probs lol) then its kinda just what u think counts#ohno im talkng myself into it#idk even knw how to make a side blog#well if ppl want this. i can figure it out#tbh even if only like three ppl want this. still migth end up doign it. bc my brain wants to do things !!
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Went from being totally lost as a teenager to finding solace in aesthetics and fitting urself into a template in my late teens and now I think I struck a healthy intermediate where I know who I am as a person generally but I’m also completely subscribed to the idea of evolving and would never deny trying something just bc it doesn’t fit the image of myself I crafted in my head
#I rly want to spend a considerable amount of time just testing things and seeing how I like them instead of figuring out how they fit into#The jigsaw of my selfhood#Bc that’s the kind of self containment that keeps ppl from exploring who they truly r beyond what they associate w certain aesthetics that#Have already been done to death#Also part of this is accepting that I as a human have shifting opinions and may change my mind and so change the way I carry myself#I get sad when I see ppl label flexibility w how u conduct urself an identity crisis#This is literally why the well is so dry and nothing is new anymore#In reality ppl who invented the wheel just looked at things they liked and incorporated that into who they are and that’s how they became#Trends#like if you can envision a way it fits into ur head that’s all that matters#And if you allow urself the ability to change ur mind on things that’s so much the better#And an important skill to have in life actually
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✨️🌈MISS GOLDEN WEEK BIRTHDAAY! 🎨🖌️
Buggy can handle a bit more of debt. It's for a good cause. the happiness of his daughter art assistant
#one piece#miss golden week#mr 3 galdino#cross guild#may i ramble a bit? i mean i think i can cough cough listen i know that#usually in fandom crocodile is usually the one ppl put as the father figure of miss gw but i think that is kind unfair#i get it i get it hes popular and everyone fav but listen#and mr 3 aint the most well liked character but she dont even need to talk to mr 3 get that she wants him to bring her tea#and mr 3 goes as far to say he prefer to her stay out of direct fighting just watch the episode#and do you think he would bring her to talk with crocodile? no he left her with two responsible adults because he ain't dumb ya know?#there might a chance of crocodile dont give him a second chance so was safer to her stay behind and is what happened#and in impel down who remembers and goes to boost about his daughter? “THE SCULPTURES WOULD LOOK BETTER WITH MISS GW PAITING” VERY DAD CODE#so just sayin if anyone deserves (and what i usually draw) is mr 3 alright and i'll die on this hill#it's his adopted daughter and his art assistant miss golden week
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as an apology for being gone for a month, have a uquiz i spent a week making! pls feel free to reblog with which character you got, i worked way too hard on this silly little thing. there are eight different characters you can get that are varying levels of unknown, with comic recommendations for each character <3
#necrotic nuisance#batfamily#uquiz#batfamily uquiz#reblog for sample size#some of these characters are my fave but some are not#so I apologize if I didn't do them right I tried my best I swear#I can promise i've read all the comics recommended for each character tho!#so this was based on. something idk#I have no explanation for why I vanished for a month. it felt longer. but it also was a short month#it took time getting settled in and figuring out a routine with a baby#also answering those rlly long asks started draining me I got daunted kjjhgjkhjg#I love them tho! I will get to them#but expect them to be answered veryyy slowly now#I tried to post like 5-10 a day#and with my current life rn that is absolutely not feasible#Christmas break is coming up and my brother in law has two weeks off so! I should have spare time over the holidays to get back into it#also idk why but i've been fighting with writing#it's not even writer's block it's like I can't write well#idk what happened.#i think i'll go back to finish up the whump prompts bc it'll let me write without pressure#so expect those to come out!#i am proud of this quiz tho pls take it.#it took me so long.#I will not say which characters are in it bc I don't wish to clog tags#and I want it to be a surprise#of the ppl i've made take it so far tho I will say the breakdown of the most popular result is fascinating to me
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fun fact the word "dirk" sounds exactly like the root of the croatian verb "drkati" which means to jack off
get the dirk brush here
#homestuck#hs#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#dirk strider#self#admin draws#fanart#yeah like idk anymroe#TTAC#assorted. dortles. that ive been forgettting to post#sigh i gotta be real! i saw a post comparing the common reblog to like ratio in 2014 vs now#and i noticed the same pattern applies to my art obviously ofdkgjjg of there being like a lot fewer rbs than there are likes#and its been kind of a thorn in my eye looking at my notifs the last few days. hence i wasnt very motivated to post#cause its like figure out how to group stuff together for posting so its mutually related then format tag and bla bla bla#anyways i wasnt feeling it#i think my exams are affecting me too s well as pms so like dont mind me too much#i didnt wanna whinge in a separate post but its been eating at me a little so. compromise#i wanted to do a separate one thanking the ppl who consistently leave tags because i do see you! and i appreciate you so much#i have to resist the urge to reply to them lolol thats a lot more overbearing sounding than just replying under posts or to comments on twt#sorry 4 no fun tags this time around. hopefully the fact is fun enough.#also til you can just. add a hyperlink to a word by highlighting it and doing ctrl+v. crayzey
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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recovery bunny goes on a walk!
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#ok to rb#“a walk” aka my wife is driving us to the park so we can watch some ppl play with swords for demos and i can get some outside steppies time#i had to clip this beanie to my hair under the lippie part bc it wants to slide off so bad so i figured i may as well get cute with the fit#bun.life#g-d bless thermals and warm weather clothing#also i love that i Regularly freak out ab not being read as femme (bc you'd be surprised how many ppl see me and think “butch” or just Not#femme at first) and then i take pictures of myself at my most authentic where i am not worrying about judgement from others on my looks or#fashion and its like.....yeah no im 100% femme ahflgnsbwlsfkal
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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"makotolookinass"
the intersection of nu: carnival and free! fans that are all here because of our favorite green haired hunks (himbos?) is so funny
but it kinda makes sense given that both nu: carnival and free! are both at their core about caring about the people closest to you and prevailing internal struggles
dang , anonn, you really cut thru all the glamours of distraction
in brief contrast, i feel like a simple creature. one who was dragged into the intersection simply because i saw some dudes with Unlikely Physiques
#feesh answer#i mean... it started out that way for most of us huh?#then they heckimfk. GOT US#with the char development and lasting bonds an whatevr#it's abou t thte grioup dynamics and how they're all little freaks but they're little freaks who can rely on each other#and bring each other the Happiness#i say Unlikely Physiques because WHAT HIGHSHOOLCHOLERS HAVE BODIES LIKE THAT. WOSHOMST????#makes me think back to that thing i saw. which was probably a post on tumblr#where ppl had the same reaction and someone went ☝ actuallY! it's not out of the realm of possibility to have well-trained swimmers#at this age. lookin like this!! for example. look at xyz(figures and pictures of Likely Physiques under Conditions)#me squinting at makoto's back the entire time like.....i still find it difficult to believe.#i WANT to believe. but i find it difficult to do so. high schoolers the size of a car...#i think i got into a debate with a friend over Free! wives AHAHA#they were big on Rin and i was like girl i aint about that attitude . emotional constipation. i'm gonna hang out with Tall Mom#then they offered sousuke as a counter#and i repeated myself like GIRL I JUST SAID I WAS NOT ABOUT THAT EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. I AM GOING WITH THE (EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE) TALL MOM#and they went on about how makoto was insufferably boring compared to rin and sousuke#and i shrugged because we EVIDENTLY are looking for different traits in our wives. what? emotional stability is boring now??!?!#tho... makoto emotional stability is questionable. i didn't follow the series after the 1st season so i prob missed out on a lot#the mans got a yandere streak and probably other issues. but i didn't get as deep into free! as i did with nuca#so...lemme just enjoy my green swimming wife at a superficial level... ok [rin and sousuke] friend?#we shook hands in camaraderie at the end. we may wife Different Tropes but the world needs All Types#idk i guess the tropes wormed their way into my brain#i saw those droopy anime eyes with the smile and the green theme and concluded 'i am safe here'#stupid cartoon patterns crafting schema all up in my psychology
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Sometimes I get hit with the "lisa wouldn't be a mother figure" but then I remember razor and how doting she is to him and how he calls her teacher and teacher's are technically the second mother to a child so like
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#MY MOOOOMMMMMMMM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ough#she's a very casual and relaxed person. she wouldn't exactly be viewed as a parental figure at first glance#but she does have it in her to do so (razor is already a huge proof for it since she took him under her wing)#so why not lynn yk? she's definitely older than razor but still younger than lisa imo#lynn is also inexperienced in a lot of things and with lisa being sumeru's greatest scholar that graduated so far. she can teach her#AUAGGDHGHDG I JUST... care her lots.... I already did like her a bunch when first playing genshin#ik lisa's story quest had the traveler go along with her almost like a date but#for me at the time. it definitely felt more like me trying to impress her bc I wanted her to be proud and happy of me#🌸 lin speaks!!#🌸 familial; ⏳#as much as idc abt ppl having a crush on her. I'd prefer not seeing any thirsts for her hrkshskjds#not that I'm forbidding anyone from thirsting. just. keep it away from me Lol#she's my mom I don't wanna hear ppl going 'well she's hot'#have you considered I Don't Think of Her That Way and that I Don't Care#Ooff sorry sorry. just needed to get that out there rq#if u like lisa romantically idm :3
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im not ready for work drama all week. again.
#logbook#its just. always something.#winter gives us time to fuck around. and by fuck around i mean everybodys running their mouths instead of legs.#i keep failing the social interaction and conversations this month too which isnt helping.#and a tarot reading said that ppl saw me as stupid and underestimated me and then i had a convo that LITERALLY confirmed that. gos.#god*#at leas ti have lunch made and also uh. clean clothes.#and my new hoodies should arrive tmrw which i can then wear this week.#ummmm what else is good tho OH YES some good stuff has been happening at work.#i just feel out of sorts i guess.#but um. gc has been fun<3 i streamed a gsme today and plan to do so some more this week.#if i can figure out how to stream from steam i'll play other games#umm what else. . slowly making my bookshelves look more at home. keeping my suriving plants alive.#looked at places to rent today EWWWW kill me. but oh well.#did NOT finish my resume but i have this week to work on it. its fine. dont touch me.#i'm determined to be good and chill. and normal. and talk to friends and find good things and. yeah.#maybe this week i'll be brave and ask fav coworker if he wants to do smth sometime soon. .
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what in the. see this is why it's a good thing that multiplayer videogames especially are about having fun & being yourself like what do you mean disguised spies automatically had the speed of the disguise's class & everyone's like yea if i wasn't always going for the scout disguise i'd kill myself right now. i'd be like haha can't catch Me out supposedly the extra slow or extra fast class >:) i am a harmless engineer
#something something like ah as scout you move fast & can be allll the way over there & your line of sight is above your Visible head#devastating. sure i Always could've looked these things up but i just like figured. don't disguise as heavy or scout; a plausible limitatio#i mean i guess i always did okay as spy b/c like in random lobbies there's just more chaos factor so like. no Your Je Ne Sais Quoi is off#even in terms of like ''why would xyz class being doing abc rn'' like who can say....i sure can't like#never knew the maps much less their Strategic Points for Whatevering. rarely tried being a Real Engineer like where do i put shit#or real demo like i don't want a team to think that role is covered. it is basically not. or a soldier even when i think that was like#recommended basic / beginner role. well i never figured out how to rocket jump reliably so jot that down#heavy pretty straightforward. medic i figured out soon enough you're Mostly supposed to support a heavy lol like okay if we need one#go figure i never seemed to do well as pyro; an alright scout probably like you really can have fun & be yourself zooming around like that;#sniper i was okayish too like yeah perhaps i can lurk & take out a heavy. or get into an intractible [the snipers are fightinnnng]#spy also okayish like again w/chaos on my side sure maybe i can sabotage turrets backstab a sniper heavy medic & cloak away....#but also all this like No special abilities or weapons. i don't even have the basics down lol. what is this link talking abt trickstabbing#are they not all trickstabs lol....apparently not exactly. i am discerning it is the art of [spy backstab] plus Juking#so i guess anything but the theoretical standard Surprise Approach. ''that know they are a spy'' ''in difficult situations''#ppl listing off a bunch of Named Trickstab Maneuvers lmfao talk about kill me. good thing videogames are about having fun & being yourself#also that i couldn't play tf2 now if i wanted to. which eh i kinda do b/c the whole time it Was like yeah this'll be a mess but haha whee#again good thing that ppl theoretically can now though? vs whatever peak ''so matches are overrun w/bot players'' times#why was that a thing at all. something something Items okay. alright back at things i Can do after another Looking Stuff Up tangent#prior geological eras into Big Events on that scale into Large Insects into lol giant water bug i.e. weird but in charge of the nighttime#i'm just still arm slung around tf2 like a smissmas miracle despite it all for sure#& it really even is that rare Games I've Actually Played Myself Ever....it really is....#hey what in the disguised enemy spies can be healed too? & like for real not just Appearing to be? what a menace lmao
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i typed a huge post and it went to drafts but basically even ppl that like me r fatphobic to me and how do i escape that
#kirbco brand cola#i really wish i didnt have a body sooo often#i want to love my body but god it is fucking hard#everything abt my body has been deemed faulty and ineefrctive and gross by outside sources from like the time i turned like 3#yanno. when you start realizing you even have a body#there was not a day on this earth that i was cognizant for where i was unaware that i was fat and people found that disgusting#they started me on diets when i was 6 man. and they never in 23 years figured out that#i never lose anyrhing significantly and i always gain back more hahaha#so yeah my eating disorder!!! my futile and stupid gestures of suffering that no one has ever even noticed#if youre fat enough then there is just no convincing anyone that you have ever missed a meal or anything#my mom has fully experienced the broad ranges of my restriction and purging and is like 'yeah ur just being annoying abt it' or something#dont even know. barely reacts.#i think in a 'if he wants attention im not giving him the satisfaction'way#the thing is i didnt want attention its just like. when someone puts u under a microscope. spesifically to watch and control what ur doing#well sometimes theyre gonna see u doing other shit#oh my god make the longest posts on earth and then add a bunch of tags why dont you#oh my god can they stop letting me be mentally ill online its so embarrassing#i make these posts and then forget abt them#and then ppl get to know thkngs abt me for free without any time and effort#why should they. why should they. people should have to suffer to get to know me as much as i have to suffer to let them
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theres something abt suzaku and lelouch that makes for really nice atmospheric dreams for me i think it’s a big part of why cg has stuck with me lolll. very fitting actually bc i originally watched it because i kept having dreams about it and got curious…
#it’s interesting to see which things i get into end up being inspiration for memorable or atmospheric dreams…hxh for example i have many#fond dreams of from back when i thought about it more often and deeply and 999 i have a few dreams that stuck with me that are mostly about#the plot or events of the game rather than the characters like usual#as well as being about pretending i don’t know everything about the characters and events to blend in with the cast lolll#but dungeon meshi which i like about a thousand times more than cg hasn’t had that many great dreams so far#i can only think of one that’s really stuck with me although i have definitely had dm ish dreams and i remember them#maybe it’s just because i only read it about 3 months ago now but still it’s interesting to me#pip speaks#dream diary#oh btw the one that stuck with me was basically pov you’re kabru working as a server at a cafe where they arrange desserts in front of you#and having to figure out whos order was whose based on observing the guests. it was very fun like the restaurant video games i used to play#and senshi was the owner of the restaurant giving kabru tips since he was new#i wish i could share the vivid dream/good dream memory ability bc whenever i talk about it ppl are like yeah i don’t dream or#i don’t dream about characters i like. and i really like when it happens so i want more people to be able to do it. sadly i have no idea how
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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