#welcome to howler

[theclassymike]

Leo Howard on Days of Our Lives.

[gassyandnasty]

The Jock Formula - Part 2.0

JOINING THE FRAT: THE HAZING CEREMONY

Josh and his friends invited me to their frat. I've never been to one, people say that some are pretty chill and others are dangerous, but regardless of that, I don't belong in the chemistry lab anymore.

So I packed my things and went to the adress they gave me. It was night already, the place was pretty loomy, and the house was all dark. I wonder if they forgot about inviting me. But I knocked anyways.

Knock

"Come in" a group of guys say ominously, as if they were expecting me behind the door. It was open, so I came in.

The hall was lit only by candles, as I saw a lot of shadowy and BIG figures all over the place, but three stood in front of me.

"Welcome to your hazing ceremony, Drew." Josh starts.

"The tasks will decide if you stay with us or not." Sal completes

"If you are a true jock, or an eternal nerd." finishes Jongho.

They were looking at me dead in the eye while all of this scene sent chills up my spine. All broke down when Sal started to laugh, and the other boys followed.

"Dude, you almost pissed yourself!" Sal mocks, and patting my back.

"This never gets old!" Jongho says in a laughing fit, high-fiving some other guys in the back.

"So... this dark hazing ceremony is a joke, right?" I try to break the ice.

"As much this scene was a joke, the hazing is real, pledge." Josh says, like a boss.

_________________________________________

They said the first task would be easy, as I was led to the kitchen, being met with a table STACKED with hot dogs.

"Sit, buddy" Jongho says on the other side of the table. He was a pretty big and buff guy, I mean, all of them were, but he was specially bulky, and I was about to find out why...

"To stay here, you have to beat the CHAMP!" Jongho said as he punched his pecs like a gorilla, as all of the guys howlered and chanted his name.

"This task is simple as I like things to be, who eats the most hot dogs, win." Jongho said, as Josh rang a bell and he started to DEVOUR the hot dogs. This dude was like a monster, I swear I saw him eating two with just one bite. I was a scrawny guy, like... yesterday? I was satisfied with a BigMac, how on earth could I beat him?

I knew that competitive eaters used a technique to swallow the most they could storage, so they wouldn't get sick. Something like flexing abdominal muscles, or your jaw... but then I rememberd...

Fuck this nerd bullshit.

And went FERAL on the hot dogs.

I can only describe flashes of this deed. Sausages everywhere, desperately looking for a cup of water, Jongho was chewing so loud it looked like a dog, and when I noticed, my belly was full, and the table was empty.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP!!

The end of the match was announced by Jongho filling the room like a dragon with a MONSTRUOUS belch. I looked around, and all of the guys were shocked, even Josh.

"Easy, haha" Jongho said, taking his shirt off. His muscles gave space to the food, so when the pat his belly, it jiggled.

I was a little drowzy. I only remembered eating the most I could, then I felt a hand on my back.

"Are you alright, dude?" Josh asked.

"How... many?" I asked, with my belly full.

"Did you think we were counting? That was wild! One of the best eating matches this frat ever saw, right guys?" Josh announced, and everyone howlered with him, chanting my name and Jongho's.

Jongho got up and approached me. "This dude was the only worthy opponent I met. I declare Drew VICTORIOUS!" Jongho lifted my arm in celebration, and all of that force dislodged the gas that was dying to explode out of me.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!

That felt so good. And what was even better? Hearing all of the frat chating my name.

But there were still two tasks...

_________________________________________

I went to another room that was dark and already stinky.

"Yo, we are up next. Congrats haha never saw anyone eating like Jongho." Says Sal. He was sat having some snacks on a table. He was one of the guys I heard most of. Many girls and boys swoon over him. When I got up close, I grimaced: onions, anchovies, milk, beans, and the list went on with the most unpleasant food you could think of.

"Sit." He says, while eating an entire can of anchovies. "This is the nasty gas challenge. We have to eat the most disgusting food and see the one who brews the worst gas out of it."

I was skeptical of this. My nerd brain thought that was impossible, but that stink was already making me pass out, and I heard that their gas was really disgusting, imagine with all of this, it would be- UUUuuuUURRPPP

A wave of a DISGUSTING belch hits me. "Haha, wake up! Didnt you hear what I said? You have to eat this." Sal says, blowing the stench on me.

*COUGH* COUGH* "Okay... I was just thinking..." I was about to say when he slapped me.

"Think less." Said Sal sternly. And I couldn't agree more. I was only able to eat all of those hot-dogs when I stopped to racionalize the situation.

I did it. Mixed beans with anchovies, ate it all down with a glass of milk. It felt bad, but it felt wild too.

"Good haha you learn fast, fella. Now we have to put it to test." He says, patting my back.

"Test?" I ask.

"You didn't think I was going to judge, right?" Sal claps his hands in a signal, while I hear a bunch of guys coming upstairs.

"LET GO OF ME! YOU JERKS!" I hear some whining too.

The guys break down in the room bringing a whimp in their arms. They put him in a chair and tie him down.

"So, this little fella right here was caught spying on us. Trying to take pictures, a total perv!" Sal says, while took some polaroid out of this guy's pockets and showed a bunch of pictures of their windows, focusing of their butts, muscles.

"IT'S NOT FOR ME... I... I WAS GOING TO SELL..." he was about to say when Sal interrupted.

"So... this perv is going to be the judge pf tonight's nasty gas challenge!" Sal exclaims as this guy watch in horror.

"So, would you do the honors, Drew?" Sal challenged me.

And yeah, that disgusting meal and all of the hot dogs were doing a number on my stomach... poor little perv.

I bent over so we were face to face, I only patted my belly and let it rip.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPP

This one felt specially good, as it rumbled deep within the depths of my stomach. What was even better? Watching this perv cry and gag by the smell. Lucky it wasn't on my face.

*COUGH* *COUGH*

All of the guys laughed, mocking the perv as he had to endure my gas.

"Good one." Said Sal. "Now watch the boss." Sal took my place in front of him and started to swallow air. He swallowed very deep, and forced out a NASTY ROAR on this guy's face:

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO9OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

I swear I could even see this guy's hair blowing, as he GAGGED on this cloud of gas. Sal finished by blowing the nasty bits on his face and grabbing the guys head.

"Take a big whiff of that you little perv." He said with a smirk while the guy gagged in his hands.

"Wow, you are totally owning him!" I say in admiration. It's nice to see that whimp be put in place.

"That's how you gotta do, Drew. No mercy, c'mon!" Sal says, patting my back.

I had to do something bold. My guys were starting to stir up, so I had an idea. I picked some of the pictures the guy was carrying and held one that was showcasing a guy's pecs and pits. I took my shirt off and I could catch the guy thirstily looking at my muscles. He was really a perv.

"So, taking pictures only? Why don't you get a taste of those up close?" I mock, grabbing the guy's head and burrying on my pits. The smell was unbearable, almost as bad as my gas, cause I saw the guy trying to get free.

"LET ME GO!" He screams into my pits while I rub all of my sweat on his face. I wouldn't let this guy go this easily.

"Let go? Oh, I will let something go!" I taunt him as I pick him off my pits, and when he thinks he will take a breath of fresh air...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!

Damn right, that was so nasty. He took it all right on his face, all the stink, even the bits of food leaving my mouth because of the force of the gas. This guy was in true hell.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" All of the guys boomed in laughter, I think they liked my display of dominance. With a glimpse, I catched Sal winking to Josh in approval.

*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*

"YOU GUYS... *COUGH* ARE GONNA PAY FOR IT!" The whimp tries to say while he gags on my stink.

I see Sal doing the same as me and picked the first picture he could find. "Oh, look at this!" He showcased the picture to everyone. "It's my ass!" They all laughed. "Nice pic, perv, since you wanted to see it so bad, I'll let you have a nice cheekful of my buns." Sal said, teasing. He indeed had a very nice ass, toned, round and bubbly, almost eating his shorts.

Sal turned around and bent over the perv's face.

"NO! NO! NO! I know what you are going to do, please! I won't do this anymore!" The perv begs, while Sal's huge cheeks are only an inch of his face.

"Do you know what I'm going to do? But I was only showing you the ass you wanted to see so bad..." Sal smirks. "Take a look on it... I know you want to..." Sal jiggles his ass a little, and the perv is almost hypnotized by it. "Bury your face in it..." Sal says, and he does it.

All of the guys grimace as the perv goes face-first on Sal's ass, and with a smirk, he says:

"I guess you really knew what I was going to do, perv." Sal says, grabbing the back of his head and really making he go deep in it.

"NO-" The perv was about to say, but it was a really bad idea to open his mouth...

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

The deepest, loudest and nastiest fart I've ever heard. Sal was red for forcing it, scrunching his face to get all of the stink out. And it was a LOT, of stink. Some guys opened the window and others even ran. When Sal was finished, he

"Aaaah, enjoy that, perv" he sighs in relief as he gets up. The little guy's situation wasn't good. His face was sweaty and squashed as he passed out, and his eyebrows were gone by the brunt of the gas, Sal completely destroyed this guy. Sal looked behind and laughed: "Oops."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" that ensured laughter from all the room. Josh, Sal and Jongho approached me where the air was fresh.

"Very good." Sal says.

"Good? That was AWESOME!" I answer in enthusiasm. "But... I didn't win."

"Don't worry, you captured the spirit and put that creep on his place. That will make you as good as we are. For me, you are in, but Josh gets the next task. Haha, try not to die." Sal says proud of me, leaving chills up my spine.

________________________________________

They said I should be careful, but I don't think there is any challenge I couldn't beat at this point. But there was he, Josh was waiting me outside the house in his car. I don't know much about those but it looks expensive. He really got it all, all the girls, the looks, the frat, the team, this car, a total bastard. How I wanted to be like him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To your final task." He answered.

It was late at night in a stranger car, he was certainly up to no good, but I kept quiety all the way. He was taking a familiar path, if I'm not mistaken... to the local library.

"Library? You know I don't fear math like you guys do, right?" I ask.

"That's what we'll see, ex-nerd. Stop making questions and follow me." He answered sharply.

I followed, and we came in. It was totally empty, only a few lights on, I don't even know how he had access to that.

"Now hear me out. There's your nerdy friend, if you can bully him, you're one of us. If not, I will take care of you both." Josh threatens.

I pondered. George was really my friend, and I'm finally like this because of him. But all I wanted was this power, force, can't go soft now, I have to-

WHACK

"Ouch, what was that for?" I ask Josh as he smacks my head.

"Stop thinking, will you go or not?"

I just make my head tall again, and approach that poor nerd.

"Want some studying tips?" I smack my hand on his table and have a seat.

He gasps. "Andrew... so you're one of them now. After betraying me. Never thought you were this jerk. What are you hear for? Flaunt your muscles?"

"Actually..." I take my shirt off and start bouncing my pecs, display my huge biceps, and my ripped abs. "And I got more..." I turn around and showcase my back and blades. I can hear Josh laughing from afar, as George is pissed in front of me.

"That formula was only for making you muscular, not idiot! Stop that!" George snaps. "What now? Wet willies? Wedgies? Stinkfaces? Youre a dissap-"

"Since you are asking for it..." I say as I drench my finger in saliva and rub it deep in his ear.

"DISGUSTING!" He grimaces as he has to suffer from my wet willy. I had enough of George's drama. Gosh, now I understand why they bully these nerds. They are so annoying!

"STOP!" He complained.

"Hmm, wet willy... check. So next, you were saying wedgies, right? Now here we go!" I say as I yank his underwear up with full force.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" He SCREAMS in pain as his underwear is snatching his parts down there.

"I WILL GET MY REVENGE ANDREW! I WILL FIND A WAY TO TRANSFORM YOU BACK!" He threats. He can try haha.

I drop him on the ground and he catches his breath, red from all the pain.

"By the way, it's Drew now, nerd." I turn around and bend over. Those hot dogs and that food are still making a number on my stomach, and since he asked for a stinkface...

"Incoming..." I grab the back of his head and bury into my butt. I can feel my cheeks molding over his face, and his screams are muffled by my now fat ass. This is the life. I grunt and push, and then... boom.

PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I force out a CRUEL fart right on his face. It rumbled and echoed through the halls for a long time, and I held his head so he could get the most stink out of it.

"Aaaaah, get a taste of your formula, George, thanks." I mock as I leave him gagging there.

"Am I in?" I approach Josh as he was proudly watching everything.

"Welcome to the frat, Drew!"

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑔𝑎𝑛𝑠

A/N: I couldn't stop my simping ass from writing for him, sorry not sorry!

Warnings: Spoilers for the "First Date" quest, some unintentional drama(?)

Prompts used: lips barely touching, smiling while kissing, slow kisses, first kisses from this/ "Is it okay if I kiss you?" " I would like that very much." from this.

People are very noisy.

That's even more obvious to you after the accident with Snape. You didn't blame him for what happened, especially after he said "no notes" and you were caught writing something down. It was a misunderstanding, one that put you on a rough spot.

Because all your friends were trying to learn who your crush was, everything felt like you were drowning in them and you had no other way out.

Apart from your saviour in white shirt and Gryffindor tie, the only one person you could confide in, someone who wouldn't care about all the rumors.

"Hi, Bill..." you sat in front of him as the red-head lifted his head and smiled kindly to you just like always.

"Hey, Y/N. How are you holding up?"

"Good I guess." You shrugged your shoulders. "By the way, I am sure Charlie knows you were out in the Courtyard, checking up on him earlier. He was irritated I guess?"

" Good. I want him to know his big brother is watching. Truth is, my mum likes me to keep an eye out for him. She is worried about him almost all the time."

You smiled at the woman's worry, though you knew better than to be fooled by her sweet nature, especially after that one Howler she sent to Charlie.

"His hobby is monstrous, fire-breathing creatures. I think any mum would be worried. How is she doing by the way?"

Bill smiled at your question, answering with a happy she is fine, she wants you to come to the Burrow this summer actually, as you and him ate your meal in silence.

You were gratefull for the Weasleys and how welcoming they had been to you, ever since the start of the second year. Spending time with them for the last 3 summers felt like a paradise to you, even if it was mostly chaos with their younger siblings. But they were a bunch of cute and good-natured kids, didn't mean extreme harm to anyone as long as they didn't annoy them and they adored listening to your rants about your adventures with their two eldest brother.

All the while trying to surpass their smirk at their second older brother having heart eyes as you talked to them, blushing behind you with a dazed look.

Apart from you, Charlie's raging crush on you was pretty obvious to everyone. Both in school and to his family. Never, even for once, did he shut up about you at home. Always talking, always telling how amazing and badass you were, how caring you were with the magical creatures as Hagrid watched you, how you always spent time with him and was comsiderate of your friends, how cute you looked while sleeping...

"Okay, okay, we get it. Your curse-breaking girlfriend is pretty awesome." Percy would often roll his eyes at his brother, already sick of the amount of talk about you even if he... tolerated you?

Molly and Arthur would also chime in from time to time, just to push Charlie a bit to know more about his dating life. It was from her good heart of course, Molly just wanted all of her children to be happy... Possibly with a lover that would hopefully turn into their spouse.

And besides, seeing his usually dragon-maniac son who wasn't interested in dating suddenly blushing at the mention of this girl made her curious.

Who were you and how did you manage to make her smitten ike that?

So, as the sweet yet slightly controlling mother she was, she convinced Bill to take you here with himself for one summer, to see and get to know you. Bill was happy to oblige, besides he knew his mother already knew a lot about you by the endless talk both him and Charlie did, the last thing left for her was to see you.

And when she did, she decided: You were now a part of the family.

Because one, you looked like such a cute and generous girl with a golden heart and two, her son was really, trully happy whenever he was with you.

But, as much as she witnessed the obvious love her boy had for you, she was left shocked, one would say even pitying her own son for his denseness, when she talked to him and Bill... and learnt that you two weren't dating as the boys looked at her sheepishly.

"Charles Septimus Weasley! What's this supposed to mean?! What do you mean by you aren't dating her?! Are you so dense to let a girl like her go?!"

But here was the part, which was the reason why he still didn't make any moves on you: Charlie sucked at romance.

Dragons? Show him one scale and he could tell what they eat. Lessons? Pfft, pretty easy, he aced them all! Quidditch? He was the best at new strategies! But romance?

With you?

That was straight out of his nightmares. Because what if you didn't feel the same? What if he lost you for good because of some silly, yet very warm, feelings? Was it worth taking the risk? He didn't know any pick-up lines, and didn't intend to ask his friends...

So, just like that, he refused to do anything and instead savoured the time he had with you even if his heart made backflips whenever you smiled at him.

And Bill was left to deal with his dumb brother and oblivious friend as they both had feelings for each other, unknown to both sides.

" At this point, everyone knows I have crush and suddenly... they are all so interested in who he is!" He was shaken from his thoughts as you exclaimed angrily, munching on your lunch like an angry rabbit, remembering the pleading looks your friends gave to you.

"Well, you have all the reason to keep it to yourself." He said pointedly. Just the same logical boy he always was...

"Well... Except, I'm thinking of not keeping it to myself." You shyly told him as he raised a brow at you, shocked and also sad for his brother and how heartbroken he would be. It was inevitable though, as he and their mother often told him.

"Oh really? Well, good for you. Good luck with getting a decent enough person to give you advices!" You looked at him curiously as he almost seemed... nervous to continue this talk.

Is he... pretending to not understand me? Or mocking me?

You stared at Bill who was eating his sandwiches with a happy grin, trying hard to not look at you and confront you to save himself from the stress, sternly until he lifted his eyes to look at you and his mouth fell open in shock.

"Wait... You want my advice?!"

"Yeah, who else's?" You sarcastically said, pointing between you and him and showing the other empty seats. But Bill's attention wasn't on any of them, since y'know, he was freaking out, choking on his food.

Nope... Nope, nope, that was bad! He couldn't betray his little brother like that!

"Don't you remember the Emily Tyler thing? Trust me, Y/N... I'm the worst person you could have come to!"

"Bill."

"Oh... Oh, you are very serious, and you aren't going to give up, are you?"

The only answer he got was a playful rise of your brow and a smirk.

After a very long lunch with Bill, and trying to convince him that it was a good idea to ask his opinion, you felt tired.

Why would you trust my advice?

You've never led me wrong, Bill.

Do you ask because I'm older?

Trick question. You are older... and wiser!

The list of questions continued. You couldn't help but get suspicious of him and his strange behaviour. Now, it was official that Bill was the mother hen of your large friend group, being the only one who had 2 brain cells, and he tended to get worried about almost everything... Possibly a treat of having 6 younger siblings.

But he, never even for once, hesitated to help you with something. It was almost like he was looking for an opportunity to run away from this conversation, or you in general whenever he saw you out with your friends.

You were starting to get worried you were being a nuisance to him.

But... who else were you supposed to go, when your crush was the little brother he was always looking out for? None other than, Charlie Weasley himself.

It was patheatic really, how you silently suffered because of this crush. It didn't help that he always hung out with you, or that you got to spend the summer with him and his family.

You saw him, the true him every day even more and this crush was getting our of control.

Now, you knew he was an outdoor-loving, adventurous spirit and probably, the best way to ask him... out, was in the forest. A picnic date? Maybe?

Oh Merlin, I can't believe I'm about to do this... Rejection is at the horizon, and I can always write to mum and ask her to transfer me to Beauxbatons.

Besides, Aurélie likes me. I'm sure she could-

Your train of thought were cut when Bill suddenly laughed awkwardly, looking at once again, anywhere but you..."I can't believe we are about to have this conversation... It's been a while since I gave any advices."

But ultimately failed at seeing your... saddened face.

Which made the mother alarms in his mind go off.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong? Did I do something? Did someone do something? They better pray for a higher power, because I will-" he stumbled over his words as he took a hold of your hand to comfort you, but frowned when you took it away from him.

"It's not that... Bill, you would be honest with me, right?"

"Of course, what kind of a question is that?" He frowned at you as he sat down on the bench outside Hogsmeade, a hand on your knee as he rubbed it comfortingly.

"Because... I'm starting to think that I am being a nuisance to you, by how you always try to run away from me."

Oh Merlin, this isn't going to places good...

Panic suddenly rose in Bill's chest, seeing how you trully believed in that by his actions. He failed to realize how his actions affected you, when he tried hard to not betray his brother like that.

But you didn't do anything to deserve this, and he was instead betraying you.

"Well... I'm sorry if I gave that idea but, it's not that. It's just... Everyone looks at me as if I know something they don't. I mean, I don't even have experience in that part! And now, my best friend is asking me for help, and I don't know what to do."

You looked at him softly, suddenly realizing that this was also hard for him and you were just making things up. "Bill, I really appreciate your concerns but I came to you for a reason: I trust you. I talked with Penny, Tulip, Barnaby, even Talbott! But in the end, you were the one who always helped me first..."

A cheeky grin took over your face soon, which already told enough to Bill that you were planning to tease him after a heartfelt conversation.

"Besides two years more experience is a lot when it comes to dating, isn't it old hag?" You elbowed his side and ruffled his hair playfully, which he secretly took great care of, and took of for a running while Bill scoffed at you and prepared to run after you.

"Oh, you little rascal... Come here!"

After letting out a squeal and running away from Bill while laughing freely, he finally caught up to you and offered to drink Butterbeer to cool down and finally help ypu put with your problem, your head between his arms in a headlock as you struggled to get away from him.

Even if he would be betraying his brother, he couldn't let you all alone by yourself.

"So... What's the best way of asking out my crush?" You asked to him, eyes hopefull, as Bill looked at you through the glass he was drinking and smirked at you teasingly.

"Well... Definetly, I wouldn't recommend a note. It could easily fall into wrong hands."

"Haha, Bill. So funny, I'm glad my misery is so funny to you." You giggled embrassed as he shook with laughter, his long hair falling onto his face.

"Well, all jokes aside, face to face would be the best think to do. It may be the most nerve-wracking but involving anyone or anything else complicate things."

You nodded thoughtfully as you drank your butterbeer, weighing your options and which place would be the best thing to do such thing... When Bill's silence made you look at him confused.

"Is that all? Surely the Bill Weasley has other advices to give to his cute and in dire-need-of-help underclassman who is also his best friend, right?" You cheekily exclaimed, batting your lashes at him while hoping that it would help, making him shook his head in disbelief at you.

" Yeah, my cute underclassman, I told you I'd come prepared. I promised I would help, remember? Even if I may feel silly giving them..." he cracked his back as he took his notebook and pencil out, writing his list down under your watching and curious eyes.

Sorry, Charlie... Forgive me.

"First, compliment them. Everyone likes compliments, and don't dive directly to the topic. That would scare them. Also, don't overthink, something hard in your condition." He pointedly said as you rolled your eyes at him, elbowing him to continue.

"Spending time with someone you like should be fun and relaxing. And remember: Your date might be just as nervous as you are. There is a high chance that it is both your first times dating, so relax knowing that it's also a first for him."

After minutes of talking and him advising you, you were feeling... enlightened? Your plans of taking Charlie to the forest would work, it seemed!

And he called himself bad at giving advices, what the hell? He had been even more useful than the others!

"So, any questions?" Bill clapped his hands expectingly as he stared at you, waiting for an answer. But the answer he got was one that made him blush.

Almost. You were still the girl his brother, who had been obsessed with dragons as long as he can remember, liked. He wasn't going to act like a schoolboy talking to a girl for the first time.

"And you call yourself bad at giving advices! Bill, you just saved my life and my potential date!"

"Now, I wouldn't get too excited. I didn't save anything, yet." He said, suddenly turning serious as he looked at you. "Until you ask your crush out, your date goes amazing and you leave as a girl who has a boyfriend, I don't consider anything over."

"There is... a high chance that he could reject me, you know that right?" You meekly said, your fingers clutching your clothes thightly. His confidence for your ability, or lack of, to ask someone out surprised you. Actually, everyone thought you to be very confident for some reasons.

Was it because you were dealing with the Vaults? Or Merula? Or maybe you just gave off that vibe even if you were an anxious ball of stress almost half of the time?

"And if that happens... Just think of it as an adventure. You've been on many of them."

"It's something I know of, dating though? I don't have any experience."

That girl and her pessimistic brain...

Bill sighed out irritated at your sudden lack of confidence and got a hold of your cheeks to make you look straight into his eyes as he used the ultimate weapon: The Mum Voice.

" Y/N Y/L/N, everything will be fine! I'm trying to lighten the mood here... Just because this is something new for you, something you have never done before and don't have control over, it doesn't mean it will end bad. To me, everything will turn out fine for you."

"I really hope so... This means a lot to me, y'know?" you blushed softly and Bill was stricken with a realization: You grew up from the little first year you were to a fine young woman, with steady steps.

"If you aren't gonna tell me who he is... At least tell me what he likes, maybe that could help finding a good spot for your first date?"

And also save me from finding that guy and breaking the news to Charlie?

"Hmm... That's an interesting idea, actually...." you hummed thoughtfully to yourself, confirmation from Charlie's own brother would be almost the same as his. But you were not aware of the wide eyes Bill was giving to someone behind you as you dived into your fantasies. "Uh huh, shit..."

"Hmm? What is it, who are you talking- C-Charlie? Tonks?"

There stood Charlie, shook to his core as he clutched his bag thightly in his arms, heart beating loudly at the sight before his eyes. Out of anything he expected to happen, seeing his brother with his crush wasn't on the list when he merrily woke up today with the greatest stretch of his life in the morning.

What were you two doing? Why were you alone? And what was that interesting idea anyways? Not that he was jealous, no no not at all...

Meanwhile Tonks looked between you and Charlie awkwardly as Bill signed her to help him out, to which she awkwardly cleaned her throat.

"Wotcher, Y/N! We weren't expecting to see you here, right mate?" She emphasised pointedly, elbowing Charlie so that he could stop sending daggers to his own brother before he knew what was going on.

"Yes, of course." He replied with icy cold voice, though it wasn't directed at you and he was looking rather softly and sadly at you, you wondered if something happened between the two.

Something Bill didn't mention, because they were both fine this morning, and he had been with you ever since the lunch time so he didn't spend any time with Charlie enought to set him off.

Before you could ask, he walked up to your table and stood between you and him, with a pointed look to his brother.

"I heard that my brother has an interesting idea. Please, do tell. It's very rare, after all..."

Ufff, something definetly happened. Because the Charlie Weasley you knew wasn't like that.

With a frown, you answered him, not knowing that you kind of made everything even worse. " He was helping me ask my crush out, and asked what he liked doing... But what's wrong with you? You are never... this sarcastic?"

Well, it was definetly a way to put it in Charlie's eyes. He knew he was being irrational, after all, you and him weren't a thing. You weren't dating or anything, so he didn't have a reason to stand against you hanging out with his brother.

Besides, he had been your friend almost since first year started, and maybe... If he had just gotten over his anxiety back then and talked to you, he would be the one standing next to you, supporting you through everything you went through, protecting you.

Which he was already doing, just... a little bit later than he wanted.

With a broken heart, he looked at you and sighed sadly, not saying anything as Bill landed a reassuring hand on your arm. "Don't worry, Y/N... I think my brother just picked today to show his development in humour. What luck, trully..."

Witnessing the silent battle the two brothers were having, Tonks tried to think of a way to stop this. But just as everyone here knew, she was bad at this.

"I heard uh, the accident with note, Y/N... I hope you are feeling better now."

"Note? What note?" asked Charlie curiously as he watched your expression change and you blushed.

If his heart wasn't squeezing painfully in his chest at knowing that you had a crush, he could awe at you and memorize this momet to think about it later before he slept.

"You don't know? I'm surprised actually, everyone seems to be very into knowing who I like... Thanks for your worry though, Tonks. I feel better."

"Yeah, I mean... Snape already scares people enough. Adding the fact that he, accidently or not, stumbled upon a personal thing..."

"Oh... So, that note never reached to your crush?" Charlie hoped that his hopeful voice wasn't also carried by his question, trying to seem cool to you as if your heart didn't already belong to someone else.

You, meanwhile, gulped down hard at seeing him very... interested in it. But it wasn't like your other friends', they wanted to know purely out of curiosity and wished you to be happy...

When Charlie wanted to know everything because... He was jealous? No way, your crush liking you back wasn't an option, right? Besides, why would he feel jealous? He wasn't interested in dating and you were already walking on eggshells.

But this exchange... And the talk she had with Charlie a few hours ago how he wished it was him you were into, that it was him who would take you to a date...

Tonks had a plan.

"No, not really... Why did you want to kno-"

"You know what, Y/N? We will help you plan your date!"

"What?!" You and Charlie both yelled at the same time, eyes wide in shock at what she said from two different reasons.

Charlie couldn't believe his own ears at what his best friend was telling. Helping you with your date? Was she out of her mind? Did she and him not talk about his feelings for you?

"What? I'm not into dating anyone and Charlie... well, he is your best friend! He would like to help, right?" Charlie agreed with what seemed to be sarcastic nod of his head as he started to pick at the skin near his finger out of anger, looking between his friend and brother as you laughed awkwardly and pulled Tonks to yourself.

"Tonks..." you whispered down to her silently with thight lips, looking up at her. "Why the hell are you so invested in planning my date so suddenly anyways?"

"I told you, it's because-"

"I heard it clearly but... Are you sure it's not to learn who my crush is-"

"We don't care about your crush, Y/N."

You looked at Charlie with shocked eyes as they were filled with tears slightly at the sharp tone he used and how... cold he sounded. At that moment, he wasn't the same warm-hearted boy you met, he wasn't the friendly boy who you talked about dragons all the time even though you didn't understand everything about them but did it anyways just to make him happy, and he definetly wasn't the same boy you fell asleep on as you basked in his soft touches...

But you wondered... what it was you did that made him so angry.

"Charlie, what the hell?!" Bill angrily let out as he got up to confront his brother who was also shocked and shaking at what left his mouth. That definetly wasn't the way he was raised, definetly not him at all.

I didn't mean it like that... Even if it was "I" instead of "we".

"No... Wait, Y/N! I didn't mean it like that! We care about you. Please, let me just-"

But he was already late as he watched you got out of the Three Broomstick hurriedly, Tonks following you right after as he was left with a fuming Bill.

"What the hell, Charles?! Don't you know the school talking about her and her brother, also adding the fact that her crush was revealed, that she had been stressfull? Why were you even acting like that?!" He dragged him outside to scold him, pushing him by his shoulders. His shoulders sag in sadness as he let his brother push him lightly, knowing that he deserved it after his unreasonable outburst at you.

"I... I know it's no excuse but I... I was jealous and couldn't bare it anymore. It hurts, Bill."

Bill looked at his brother's teary eyes and guilty face with a soft look, his anger having long been gone at the pitiful sight of him. He understood why he felt like that, having to hear the girl you like liking someone else and all, but still...

It wasn't enough of a reason to treat tou like this.

"I understand why, little brother but it was too much... You will go to her now and be completely honest to her, Charlie. You know she deserves it."

"I know..." he mumbled silently, his chest constracting painfully in his ribcage as his stomach was knitting itself anxiously.

"And she would never ditch you out for having feelings for her either. She didn't do it with anyone, and she will not do it with you. Now go!" He pushed Charlie towards the open area to where you ran, hoping that everything would turn out fine for both of you...

And that what Tonks said was true.

"She likes Charlie, had been for a year or so. But she is shit at showing it. All they need is a little push."

"But... I don't know where she is!" Charlie hastily yelled out as he looked at Bill over his shoulder to see him sighing irritatedly. Stupid teenagers...

"She is your bestfriend, you crush! You know her better than anyone!"

And yes, he did know where you were thanks to what Bill said, and ran to where he thought you were.

An apology and explaination already ready in his mind as he begged to Merlin that he wasn't too late to fix his mess.

If you were to ask Charlie when he started falling for you, he wouldn't be able to give you an exact time. For the most part of his friendship with you, he didn't even realize that his feelings went beyond admiration. His friends and brothers always teased him for it whenever he called you "his bestfriend that he never imagined to have", and as a result, would get a snarky comment from Bill like "What a good way to add in your confession, brother! So romantic~"

But perhaps what sealed the deal for him and opened his eyes was that one time when you were cold in the common room, reading together and he gave you his sweater with his initial on it. (He pretended not to realize how cute you looked in it and how his heart beated faster at the sight of you, suddenly feeling possessive because damn it, you were so cute and beautiful as you read your book.)

And then, as if the sight didn't already turn him into a puddle, you mumbled a sweet it smells like you and buried yourself deeper in the sweater whilst continuing to read your book, completely unaware to how red he was because woah, seeing you so cozy in his clothes and as a big part of his life really opened a new window!

In your defence, you thought it was because he was hot from sitting in front of the fireplace witg that sweater on. And besides, he always ran warm for some reasons.

And then, just like that, his "bestie" attitude would turn into hearts and stars, accompanied by the "love of my life, my shining star and the meaning of my life" type of attitude. He had started to see all the outings you two did together, or all the times you went to the Three Broomsticks together, as dates and imagined himself just sitting next to you, an arm around your shoulders as he looked at you with loving eyes.

Apart from the fact that he absolutely sucked when it came to romance and being flirty, rather loosing track of his thoughts and stutter in your presence( which made you often giggle and call him adorable before pecking his cheek and setting them aflame) even though Andre often called him "an utter catch" while listing all the reasons why.

You are friendly, quick-witted, hard working, kind, play Quidditch and "annoyingly handsome" as a good friend of him-you- said.

So, he said nothing about his new-found feelings in fear that his friends and brother would make it worse by teasing him, he didn't have to know the miserable heart eyes he was giving you whenever you were close already gave it away, and try to desperately just be your friend. He couldn't risk ruining the best thing happened to him with his feelings, so he tried to avoid you in hopes that his feelings could disappear.

Spoiler alert, it didn't...

But his behaviour only ended up with you liking someone else and then him feeling stupid because he didn't act on his feelings before and get angry at himself and everything.

Human nature, after all, tended to blame orher things rather than themselves.

But now, he had to suck it up and go up to you, possibly explain everything and even comfess so that he would be free of the restrictions they brought to him and maybe, by a tiny chance, you would return his feelings back.

"Hey..."

Hearing his timid voice behind you, you wiped your cheeks hastily and turned to him. You knew your eyes gave you away, with its redness and all, and you saw how Charlie winced at the sight, almost seeming like he was just as in pain as you were.

But why would he, you thought. He was the one who made me feel like shit, why would feel bad?

"I've come to... apologize, for my behaviour. I didn't mean to be such a prick. I'm sorry for shouting and hurting you... and made you cry." He mumbled in a sorry manner, playing with his fingers anxiously as he waited behind you to say something. Every second you were just sitting there silently, your back to him as the wind brushed through your hair and clothes, he got even more anxious.

Maybe he lost his chance? Did you really get hurt by his words that much? Of course, you did, you didn't deserve to hear any of them and-

"It's okay, I forgive you... Even though you were total jackass." He chuckled and nodded at you, not that you saw it as you pat the spot next to you and waited until he was fully seated next to you. The calm and silence was a good one, after all the hectic week you had, but even then...

You were restless, as your crush who just made you cry was sitting next to you.

And you wanted to know why he did what he did.

"Why did you say that? Back at the Three Broomsticks? Why did you act like that?" You asked softly, no hint of judgement in your voice, only confusion as you looked at Charlie with knitted brows, frowning when he stiffened at your question.

"You wouldn't understand..." he mumbled, shaking his head as if he was you and actually knew how you would react. That was one of the things that could anger you, just like it did in that moment, as your irritated eyes found his soft and pained ones, watching you with a thundering heart as his breath got faster at your angry shout.

"Then make me, Charlie! I'm your best friend! What did I do to deserve-"

It was your right to know it, you definetly didn't deserve to be left in the shadows but he was... scared. Scared of loosing you, scared of ruining everything. Scared of you hating him...

But he had to be brave, and accept whatever happens after what he was about to say.

"You made me fall for you, that's what you did!"

Out of all the answers you expected from the redhead, this definetly wasn't on the list.

Charlie? Weasley? The one who loves only dragons? He loved you?

You could actually dance around and scream in delight from how happy you were as a wide smile took over your face completely. You wanted to shout, jump on Charlie and kiss him breathless, later peppering his whole face on them as you stared at his freckles, then go and gush to Rowan, or Penny, scream in happiness with them too!

But before you could open your mouth after the shock of hearing your crush liking you back, Charlie continued to talk. He thought if he just kept talking and poured his heart out, you wouldn't slap him across the face and leave him there, heartbroken.

Maybe he could postpone the inevitable just a bit.

The inevitable in his eyes.

"What he have... our friendship is so perfect, I have everything I want in my life. My family, friends, you," his voice shook as he shuffled closer to you, and you wondered if your heart was loud enough for him to hear.

You looked at him sweetly, his worry of loosing you, how much he cared-no, loved- you made you melt at him. Tears of happiness strung up your eyes as you gingerly took his calloused hand and squeezed it.

"And how do you think I feel?" You whispered, making Charlie look at you confused and tilt his head.

"What do you mean by that?"

Welp, here goes nothing...

You sighed deeply, turning your whole body towards him and took both of his hands in yours. He looked at you shocked for a second, heart jumping up to his throat as his eyes first landed down on your hands holding his and then back to your own eyes.

"Charlie, the reason I was so secretive about my crush was because... Because it was you."

Now, it was Charlie's turn to be shocked. Because out of every kind of angry ways he expected this talk to go, you confessing to him wasn't one of them.

That crush being him, wasn't even close!

Taking his silence as a sign to continue, you sucked in a breath.

The word was already out anyways.

"I only tried to get more hints on what you like and dislike, so that I could ask you out properly. I mean, I know I'm your bestfriend but... I also know that you aren't into dating and have your focus on dragons-"

"I love you more than dragons." You smiled at how fast and eagerly he said that, clear genuine love pouring out of him, and nodded your head.

"I know that now..."

"I thought... You know, Barnaby was your crush and I felt so jealous. He had liked you for almost as long as I did and... I thought tou would see him more of a better match for you."

"But why would you think that?"

"I know you are kind of scared of dragons, and can't keep every information about them in your mind." You blushed at being caught. You thought tou made sure you didn't give away!

Charlie smiled at your blushing face and chuckled, raising his hand to touch your cheek but hesitating. You felt his hand get close to your face, shaking slightly. You giggled at his obvious nerves and nuzzled closer to his palm, pulling it towards your face as you gazed at him with eyes full of love.

And Charlie forgot what he had to say at the sight of your lovely self.

"A-And Barnaby and you... like the other creatures more, y-you even bonded with his Knarl and went on many, uh... alone hanging outs."

"Charlie... What I feel for Barnaby is completely platonic, he is only my friend. What I feel for you is much stronger." You smiled at him softly, lovingly with your eyes accidently drawn to his lips.

"I've been denying my feelings for you at first, I wasn't going to let my feelings get in our way, I was afraid I would loose my bestfriend but you were and are still my bestfriend. I just didn't think you would... actually feel the same."

He shuffled closer, your thighs touching each other as your faces came closer and closer."I have been dreaming about this... Longing for you to feel the same, wanting to be with you..." He whispered, close enough that you felt his hot breath as his lips hovered over yours, barely touching yours.

"We are both idiots in love, then?" You whispered to his lips and he laughed, the sound of it making your heart skip a bit and smile lovingly at him.

"I wouldn't have it the other way..."

Suddenly aware of thw situation you were in, you could have backed out and instead take it slow. But Charlie was intoxicating, he called you to him like a flame did to a moth and your lips met for the first time. The kiss was soft and slow at the beginning, a little bit clumsy as expected but it was just... perfect.

You ran your hand through his hair, pulling his hair tie back as his long hair fell down his shoulders. You had been craving to kiss him, and pull on his locks in a make-out and you exactly did that.

Your teeth might have clashed, from how wide you both were smiling as Charlie's hand travelled across the expanse of your back and settled on your waist, but you both knew that this was definetly not gonna be the first time your lips would meet.

Now that both sides had a taste of the other, both of you became each other's drug.

"But you still owe me a date. You made me cry, y'know?" You teased him while panting after breaking apart, still in each others vicinity as he looked down at your lips in a daze and nodded.

"I'll spent my life making up for it, love. And I already planned our next 50 dates."

"Is it okay if I kiss you again?" You couldn't help but ask, wanting to only drown in him and his kisses. Dates could wait, you and him had a life time for more dates anyways. He chuckled and leant down with a smirk as his lips caught yours.

"I would like that very much."

And indeed, he really made up for it.

[scorch-clan]

ScorchClan: Prologue (Part 1)

| Next> Welcome to ScorchClan! ... er... or what's left of it, at least... In any case, meet Fernsplash, Skypaw, and Fleetkit! and also a pack of howlers

[delicrieux]

𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑫, 8. year one: october 28th to 30th, 1972

pairing for this chapter—f!lestrange!reader x barty crouch jr. warnings for this chapter—sum swearing, implied underage drinking (not reader), being a bad friend word count—3.4k

your birthday has officially arrived, not without some notable oddities.

author's note: missed being a miserable tween. also who can tell that barty might have a crush on her? not me definitely

masterlist | buy me coffee☕ | ttp masterlist | < back | next >

“so,” dorcas sounds, and the way she purposefully moves her head in your peripheries implies she will say something you won’t necessarily like, “your birthday is coming up,” a quick look from you, up and down – from the tips of her muddy boots to the wind-swept hair. a few snowflakes sit nestled between the curls, and her eyes crinkle with mischief, “are you having a party?”

you try your best to breeze through the clock tower courtyard unscathed, “no,” you state. lie. not exactly. it’s complicated, “what? why? have you heard something?”

she snorts, “nope, just asking. you seem to have a lot of friends.”

you suppose you are outstandingly popular. anyone approached is your friend upon a hello, but you only say such a thing to those worthy of your attention. most, of course, are in some even minuscule way related to your family. your immediate circle is just cousins. dorcas is, so far, the only one you’d never approach yourself, simply because she’s unremarkable and also a gryffindor.

somehow, still, you cannot shake her, and once the tremors of hysteria had melted into the hum-drum, you found yourself not wanting to do so, which unnerved you much more than her immediate presence at all times of the day. most times of the day. you try not to engage in public, especially in the sights of bartimus, marzipan, and matilda. barty you could still, perhaps, calm – a pointed look and a promise to tattle on some secret you’ve uncovered about him to his parents would make him malleable.

the girls, however, would propose a difficulty. they’re already proposing a difficulty. the odd stares you receive at times when dorcas waves at you, all with a good-natured smile that you feel, in those moments, you don’t entirely deserve.

hence, the haste. hence, you try to lose her, but she’s much more fit and much better at keeping up than her unsuspecting appearance might hint.

“yes, well,” you start, heat dousing your body and damp robes. the inside of the castle is warm this time of year as the elements grow increasingly unruly and cold. the dry air scratches at the back of your throat, and you inhale with a sniffle and a poorly masked cough, “i’m not planning anything.”

and you aren’t, truly, but that doesn’t mean no celebration will take place. in fact, based on what marzy and matilda are trying so hard to hide (and do such a honestly horrendous job, with all smug smiles and loud whispers and giggles a pitch too high), there’s an old classroom being transformed for a small gathering – forty people or so – to toast to your good health, mesmerizing beauty, unbridled potential, and immeasurable talent. you quite look forward to it, but you aren’t responsible for the invitations, as it’s supposed to be a surprise.

and even if you were, surely you couldn’t extend one to dorcas. a no name from a muggle family. she would be out of place.

more so, she would feel out of place. you doubt she’d be offered a warm welcome, and you couldn’t offer one to her either, not without being subjected to the potent glares and displeased remarks from those around you.

such a situation is not beneficial for anyone involved. thus, you are a good friend from sparing her of this ache, sparing the rest the discomfort, and sparing yourself a howler.

“i might throw a party for my birthday,” she says, stopping at the cross-roads where you must part – her for charms and you for potions. she fixes the strap of her book bag, bending somewhat under the weight, “will you come? if i decide to do one after all. ‘s quite far, still.”

“when is it?” you ask, somewhat impatient. your eyes scurry the interior, but no familiar faces as of yet.

“april,” ah, thank merlin, “april sixth.”

you shrug, but you don’t manage to meet her gaze, “maybe. if i’m not too busy. i’ll mark it on my calendar just in case.” april is still ways away, and by that time, you might figure out what to do with her.

she smiles, “i’ll hold you to it. don’t suppose you want anything?” you give her a puzzled look, “like, a gift.”

“oh, no,” you can’t imagine there’s anything she could give you that would please you and that would also be within her budget. once again, your endless compassion and big, open heart are on fervent display. if matilda and marzy knew (unpleasant details aside), they’d give you a standing ovation for your selflessness. it’s a bit vexing that dorcas doesn’t seem to share the sentiment. perhaps she’s a simpleton, “got nothing in mind.”

“okay, well, i’ll think of something then,” she says, one step back, “later!” and away.

you have no qualms with lying. you’ve done it your whole life. your first words, perhaps, were, too, some miniature lie. lying is no different than playing, and playing is no different from acting, and acting is lying, and so it’s really not a big deal. you don’t know any other way of being, and you quite enjoy having others bend to your smiles or your frowns. most go great lengths to appease you.

even now, you claim to have accidentally forgotten your quill, when in reality, you didn’t pack it on purpose. regulus, always having a spare, gives you his own, and makes you promise not to lose it. you complain that it’s uncomfortable in your hand, and that the colour is ugly, but in fact you do like the deep brown shade and firm edge of the feather.

bartimus sets up your cauldron because your wrist hurts from the frigid cold, and evan measures the ingredients – he’s much more precise and curious about potions, and he does it unprompted, almost as if it’s expected of him. it sort of is.

you have no qualms with lying, but you pause when bartimus asks, “what’s with that gryffindor following you around everywhere?”

your heart thumps, and the cool, damp potions classroom rises in temperature. all in all, it’s the most polite way he could have phrased the question, oddly mindful of professor slughorn’s all hearing ears lingering just close enough for him to behave himself.

“i’m blackmailing her,” is the only thing that comes to mind, and it does sound convincing. so convincing, in fact, your tone and look implies that he’s the stupid one to consider otherwise.

evan frowns, peering at you over the vapours emitting from his cauldron, “blackmailing her? why?”

you shrug, “because it’s fun.”

“seems awfully happy to be blackmailed, if you ask me,” regulus comments coolly.

“please, told her if someone was to catch a whiff of distress on her, then, well, she’ll certainly have something to be distressed about,” you move the ladle and mix your potion and thud-thud thud-thud thud-thud, “you’re a terrible extortionist if you can’t manage otherwise. rodolphus said he had all sorts of minions from other houses. can’t embarrass the family.”

“right,” barty raised a brow, “rabby’s embarrassment enough.”

you bristle at the words, true as they be. still, pride and blood are important, “your whole family tree’s in gryffindor. think before you speak, crouch.”

“sparks are flying,” he grins, “or is it just me?”

“as if i could ever look at your gaunt face and find anything appealing,” you snip, “you should learn some manners when speaking to your elders.”

“sincerest apologies, madam strange.”

“shut it, both of you,” evan grumbles, carefully dropping some powder into his mixture. it hisses and gurgles and a new set of fumes spew, “can’t concentrate with all this yapping.”

“woof,” barty sounds.

“dog,” you spit.

“bitch.”

you gasp and throw the nearest object your hand grabs, which is a (sadly) closed bottle of ink. he ducts just in time, but the impact makes the glass shatter, leaving a scary red splotch on the wall.

bartimus straightens as slughorn strides over to check on the disturbance. a brief explanation from evan is accepted without hassle, and the wreckage is handled by a flick of the professor’s wand. a disapproving look and a quick glance at regulus as a reprimand and everything goes back to normal, including barty and you, who is doing a masterful job of ignoring him and pretending your breathing hasn’t been affected in any way.

eventually class does wrap up and everyone leaves for the next lesson. you walk with evan and regulus, bartimus trotting a couple feet behind like a faithful hound, waiting to serve, ever the sycophant. you wonder if it's too late to beg matilda and marzy to revoke his invitation to your birthday party, because you know for a fact that he has one. possibly tossed it into a bin upon notice, but he had definitely, at the very least, seen it.

***

there’s a snow storm on your birthday, a harsh, miserable gust that rages across the landscape and traps everyone inside. so dense you can’t see out the windows, and so cold frost bleeds to water from glass pains and drips in rivulets on the tiles. it’s too early for such weather, but not entirely unheard of. when you were very little, rodolphus told you that mother and father found you in a heap of snow, warm and unharmed. now, of course, you have a technical understanding of how children are made, but shockingly, you had stoutly believed your brother till late last spring, till your first blood and that slightly uncomfortable but enlightening conversation with aunt greengrass.

matilda knew this already, by a few good months, which revealed why, at the time, she always seemed a bit snootier than usual, as if she had figured out something very important and negated to share. for the remaining spring and the whole of summer, the two of you had grown closer and left marzipan out – what could she, still but a child, understand about the woes of burgeoning adulthood? it had left her a bit desolate, and she had spent her holiday chasing sirius around, and as she smothers you in a tight hug with sleepy happy birthday whispered into your hair, you think you still haven’t forgiven her for it.

naturally, you have taken extra pains to make yourself prettier. your hair is glossier, and your uniform is tidier, and there’s a sheen of cherry lipbalm covering your mouth. narcissa, when she saw you, told you to wipe it off, and you did, only to reapply it when she wasn’t looking.

breakfast, the great hall’s polite congratulations, slytherin students that you almost recall the names of coming to wish you a joyous day. some revenclaws and marzipan’s brother come bearing chocolate toffies. it’s the same procedure as evan’s and matilda’s – the former’s birthday was just a few weeks into september, and matilda celebrated on october first.

you share the candies with the boys. evan takes one, regulus takes one, bartimus takes seven (to spite you, you believe), and you’re left with two. you offer one to marzipan, and she takes it with a smile, and offer one to matilda, who refuses, saying she’s on a diet. marzy’s expression crumbles, and she returns the treat, “never mind, not that hungry.”

“did you eat a strawberry?” bartimus asks, mouth full of toffies.

you frown, “what?”

“shit on your lips, what happened to table manners?”

“ignore him,” regulus interjects pointedly, “how are you feeling?” as in, how is it like to be twelve. bartimus’ birthday is just after sirius’, and so, regulus is the youngest of the present quartet, which leaves him naturally distressed.

evan scoffs, “’s no different.”

“i feel different,” you inform primly.

barty snorts, “don’t look different. still stupid.”

“hope you choke on that,” you glare. he snickers, the dolt, properly pleased to have ruffled your feathers. a quick communication between you and your pudding has you decided that you might despise bartimus crouch, or, more so, you despise the smug look he seems to fashion only when he’s pestered you into a foul mood.

briefly, you sweep the present crowd, and you spot dorcas sat among her friends, a table away. the sight alarms you somehow. perhaps it’s the picture of her happiness.

she must’ve felt you looking (such is the power of your gaze) because she perks up. twinkling brown eyes meet yours, and she waves with a grin, almost rising to approach, but your flash of an uncomfortable smile leaves her seated. when you glance around if anyone noticed, it’s only regulus that gives you a strange look, but says nothing.

sirius and his friends pass you as you tumble out the great hall. he, expectantly, walks right past, and it stings, but it stings even more when james calls your name much too cheerfully and says, “happy birthday!”

you walk past him as sirius had walked past you, without a moment of hesitation.

“you blackmailing him as well?” evan, surprisingly, asks.

you huff, “no, please hex him out of existence.”

“could be arranged,” barty says after an uncharacteristically thoughtful pause.

***

there’s definitely something more than punch being covertly served to the older students, but not like it matters much – you catch not a whiff of it, nor is any offered to you. suppose you are suspicious by the entirely inconspicuous clusters of people that exchange something and then part hurriedly with sour expressions that bleed into blushed faces and tipsy grins.

matilda, you note, is laughing ditzy with a second year slytherin. you suspect something nefarious, and make it clear with the slight narrow of your eyes. she cares not for it, which slights you, because it’s your birthday and you’re the most important person present.

speaking of, a pile of presents sits on a table, all expensive and neatly wrapped trinkets you possibly have no use for. still, the growing pile pleases you – once back in your dorm, it’ll be a challenge to go through it in a single night. you might just open a new one each day and have no gift-free evenings for the better part of the school year, but you are too impatient.

it’s all very pretty. the ceiling was enchanted to a deep, gleaming blue-violet, rippling along the dim, sparkling lights as though underwater. luminescent bubbles, a faint glittery mist, and floating incandescent jellyfish, translucent, yet you still raise your hand to touch one, feeling the slight coolness once it passes your fingers. you hadn’t asked who’s responsible for this display of magic, but you suspect it being narcissa.

when you smile at your ostentatious cake and count the flickering candles, you can only think of one wish – i wish sirius would come back to me. you inhale and then blow in one full swoop. the room drowns in cheers.

there’s faint music floating above your head, but nothing as interesting as to what sirius had made you listen to all those nights ago. you dance with evan, who seems much more awkward than you, and then with a few older students, with rabastan (unwillingly), and then with your girls. regulus had overtly refused your hand without explanation.

“it’s my birthday,” a demand. an excuse you can use only once a year, and you extort it fully.

he seems conflicted in the blue light, lastly, “fine. don’t step on my toes.”

dancing with regulus is different than dancing with sirius – regulus is shorter and younger, and his grip isn’t as firm, and he doesn’t once look you in the eye, and you’re a bit bored through most of it.

the night dwindles on, and you spot bartimus.

he catches you staring, and so he raises his cup, sat beside his older friends – a few second and third years that seem to be enthralled by his presence. it strikes you, strangely, how popular he seems to be. you don't like it.

and he's not exactly ugly, despite your claims. tallish,  the tallest of your lot, a long neck, neat auburn hair, sharp eyes, maybe. not entirely horrid and twisted as he could have turned out to be or will turn out to be. he seems a bit older, but perhaps it's because he's always been lanky.

no, he is ugly, you think. the lights must've caught him funny, and maybe that's why it seems he's glowing, his pale skin shimmering a ghostly pallor in the enchanted darkness of your birthday celebration, that is yours and yours alone, and no one can steal the shine or the honour or the beauty away.

matilda joins his table, and you note, in great distaste, that she also looks very pretty, and the dress suits her much better than yours does you. all dresses are now suiting matilda better, because this is the body she was born in, and it makes sense that she will always have the upper hand and you will always be behind her, somehow.

you grow unsettled in a way that feels somewhat familiar, but nothing tangible enough to understand.

dorcas would probably laugh. your stomach swoops and then drops, and it feels like the jellyfish swim inside you. dorcas would definitely laugh and pull at matilda's ruffles. and sirius, sirius would laugh with her and he would comment on how the dress is awfully girly and in poor taste, and then you would tell him off, because he has no taste at all, but not in front of dorcas.

you glance at door. sirius isn't here. he was definitely invited, but, of course, he wouldn't attend.

of course. of course of course of course.

matilda, prettier and better, better, it's not fair, doesn't even look at you, not since she knows, of course, she must know you are watching. she can't not know. the parallels and the similarities are obvious in a way they aren't to you. briefly, you think of poisoning her. you could get away with it too. what's a birthday celebration without any diabolical scheming, anyway?

when matilda smiles at someone (bartimus), a creeping sensation crawls beneath your skin. there is definitely some vile deed being done here, but not any of yours, unfortunately. the gathering, you decide, must end, and everyone must leave disappointed and displeased to match your mood.

"punch?" marzipan manifests by your side. you startle, glance to her, note her boyish appearance in relation to matilda's ladylike one, and somehow, her expression manages to irritate you.

"got one," you show your glass for emphasis, "did you happen to notice a grimace on tilda, or are the effects of whatever substance they're pouring into these cups only visible to the sober?"

"not a sip," marzipan sighs, "i've tried asking a third year, said i'm too young," her misery brings you a slight bout of joy. marzipan will be twelve late february, and so, she will always be the odd one out, "did you want any?"

you shake your head, "no, not really. maybe. i dunno."

"doesn't seem like you're having fun," she notes. then, she softly grasps your upper arm and squeezes, "cheer up. it's your birthday."

your smile is terse. the tension has left you feeling sore, like you ran laps and took too hot of a bath and rolled into a very tight sleeping position. you feel a bit wrong.

regulus calls your name, and he drags you away easily and without question. you spare marzy a vaguely apologetic look, leaving her stranded in the middle of the room, all lonesome. she does, at that moment, look entirely pathetic, and maybe you are very tired, because somewhere deep down you feel a pang of something.

you are lead to the darkest corner and let go promptly. before you can complain, regulus pushes something into your hand and says, quietly yet seriously, “i won’t tell.”

he makes scarce afterward, and you’re left confused. truly, this celebration has become more trouble than it’s worth. all these emotions hidden behind an unmoving veneer. it cracks slightly when you take a closer look at your gift.

it’s a handmade card, glued and drawn poorly.

‘to my favourite (and only one i will associate) slytherin, happy birthday. i promise i’m better on the broom than i am at drawing, but i wanted to make you this card anyway. once the skies clear up, let’s go for a ride along the shoreline. i found some sights exploring. we could make a whole adventure out of it. know a perfect location to practice hexes. despite it all, i’m very glad i found you crying.  -- your accomplice’

you hug the card without meaning to do it. you just do. you bring it close to your chest and lean your cheek, like it was something precious, and in a way, it is, because this is, by far, the most generous gift you have ever received.

[thegorydamnreaper]

Question for the Howlers

What is a scene from the series that you guys would want to see that I haven’t drawn yet?

I want to try out some more dynamic pieces, but I’m not sure what to pick 🤔 Any ideas are welcome!

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fic Recs | Vol 37

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Welcome to my bi-weekly fic rec list! This is everything I read in the last two weeks. It's... a lot. I did March Fic Madness and also just was generally in a reading mood so there's like 40 fics here. They're in alphabetical order by boy.

All info provided by the author unless it was blank, in which case I filled it in.

Constellations in his eyes

Dave York one shot by @janaispunk

Your fiancé stands you up on your birthday. Dave doesn’t.

infidelity, shitty boyfriend, angst, fluff, kissing, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n

What Love Means

Dave York one shot by @ravensmadreads

Dave has a panic attack and you help him through it

So David is probably ooc (but this version of him is my comfort character sorry), description of a panic attack, mentions of canon violence, and like the barest hint at smut.

The Mess of Us

Dave York one shot by @ravensmadreads

I gave david york my heart and then proceeded to bash it with a sledgehammer - forgive me :p this is the same universe as What Love Means

vague smut, lots of angst (i mean i tried), almost entirely canon compliant, vague-ish attempt at smut, mild cursing, insane use of italics.

The One

Dieter one shot by @schnarfer

If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?

Bit of emotional torment, drink and drugs references, Dieter POV, happy ending? Always Fleabag coded.

Purple Haze

Dieter one shot by @schnarfer

that boy put a spell on you

1960’s London Dieter Bravo AU, heavy on the British slang, explicit alcohol and drug references, reader is a model but no physical descriptions, outfit descriptions, swearing, sort of enemies to lovers if you squint, smut; protected PIV, light bondage, reader is in control and Dieter is a subby puddle, pet names (angel, doll, darling), light dirty talk, playful slaps. Just a note we’re always very Fleabag coded here.

House Arrest

Dieter one shot by @rulexofxnines

Dieter stays over at your place out of desperation. Things get out of hand so you take control of the situation.

forced proximity, only one bed, a goat

The Howler Monkey

Dieter one shot by @covetyou

You got him here, he was safely tucked away upstairs and everything was going, mostly, according to plan. So, who the fuck is screaming?

no smut but some nudity, implied drug use/addiction, little bit silly, mildly angsty, performance anxiety, screaming, Dieter Bravo's soft cock. basically mild hurt/comfort/fluff with my usual bit of silliness.

Vampire!Dieter

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Interview with a vampire, gatsby style

flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter, unbeta-ed because i needed to write something or someone was going to die

Brick House

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter buys a house for you and the baby

mention of past drug use, fertility issues, mention of sperm donation and clinics, false pretenses, Dieter might be a bit obsessed or a lot

Stay sexy and don't get murdered

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Trapped behind a secret wall to hide from a murderer, the close proximity forces you and Dieter to confront feelings you rather bury underneath your case to prove your favorite neighbor didn’t commit suicide.

brief moments of tv-appropiate terror, arguing, mentions of suicide, mentions of death/murder, but more importantly: smut (like half of this is smut), oral (f!receiving), dieter’s bare ass nearly catching on fire, too many feelings for something that started as a crack fic idea

Fare Well

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter has been working so hard. He still has an issue that might be because of his mind. What can he do about it? Do anything else.

unhealthy coping, sexual dysfunction, sex work, teasing, pet names, sexual activity (actual and implied I think? I should know. 🙃)

A poor plan to confess

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter is doing his best to stay sober. You have a large part in his plans. They aren’t well thought out.

Dieter being a bit rude, porn use, mention of masturbation, teasing, improper toy use?, very bad communication, some mentions of sexual activities and acts, Nerdie is unsure of what she wrote

Conversation Pit

Dieter one shot @thosewickedlovelies

You’re viewing a mansion with Dieter, and it has a conversation pit. Does he have the discipline to keep his hands to himself?

friends with benefits, SMUT: Dieter’s favorite dom appears 👀 could it be someone we know?; mmf threesome, piv sex, semipublic sex but don’t worry, edging (m receiving), references to sex work

Lush

Din one shot by @the-scandalorian

Mando makes regular visits to the healing baths.

touch-starved Din; reader is blindfolded; smut

Immortal By Design

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

Din Djarin picks up a mysterious job at the Bounty Hunter’s Guild from a high paying client that specifically requested him. Once he tracks down the bounty, he discovers two things— you tracking the bounty for different reasons entirely and a lot more than he bargained for.

reader is able-bodied, canon divergent (long live the Razor Crest), no Grogu in this universe, possession, cursed object, dark!Din, monsterfucking (I think), Din has heightened capabilities, dub con/noncon, restraints, reader gets captured, oral sex (M and F receiving), rough oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, mir’sheb = smart ass, character death, no use of y/n

Enchanted to Meet You

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

You’re a senator for the New Republic and tonight you’re forced to attend the New Republic Gala. Senator Xiono won’t leave you alone but that in turn leads you to meet Mando, a security guard at the event. And that leaves you wonderstruck.

Reader is able-bodied, canon divergent, reader has consumed alcohol, creepy guy at the gala, fingering, semi public sex, vaginal sex, pull out method, pet names (cyar’ika, mesh’la), no use of y/n

I don't mind bleeding

Din one shot by @quicksilvermad

You and the Mandalorian have a mutually beneficial relationship—he pays your rent and you feed him when he needs fresh blood.

vampire!Din, blood, PIV sex, biting, sex work, second person POV, AFAB Reader, one instance of "good girl", aftercare

Bound

Din one shot by @frannyzooey

It’s your thighs he’s bound this time — not your hands for a change.

smut, bondage, AU

Hello to the Green

Ezra one shot by @the-blind-assassin-12

Down a ship, a crew, and a working air filter, and suffering from a rapidly worsening infection, Ezra makes one last ditch effort to get home. And he hopes it’s enough.

language, angst, injury and illness, death

Paint With Me

Frankie one shot by @bitchesuntitled

You have a crush on the dad of your daughter’s best friend.

Sexual innuendos and cursing

Right on Cue

Frankie one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

The quiet bartender lends you a hand after you've closed up for the night.

reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed. Oral sex f receiving, protected PIV, that's pretty much it. this is just PWP

Door Number Three

Javi G drabble by @morallyinept

Javi shows you what he keeps behind that mirrored door

Character talk alludes to sexy things.

Dámelo

Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

You want more. Javi wants to give it to you. You just have to give him something first.

mutual masturbation, vaginal fingering, aftercare. reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed.

Dress Up Joel

Joel series @covetyou

when a mysterious stranger breaks into your house, and keeps breaking into your house, he gives you the fright, and the ride, of your life. Welcome to your seasonal encounters with one Mr. Joel Miller.

sex toys, dress up, festive/seasonal shenanigans, no use of Y/N, see individual fics for additional warnings

He Knows

Joel/Tommy one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Joel knows you have a little thing for his younger brother so decides to indulge you for your birthday.

gonna state this very clearly: joel gets cucked by tommy and watches, everyone is consenting and it's discussed beforehand, piv, dirty talk, possessive!joel, daddy kink, size kink, established relationship between joel and reader, jealousy, some brotherly rivalry, facial, mild degradation kink, creampie

Does Your Mother Know

Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Joel finds a pretty young thing on the beach to spend some time with on his vacation.

reader is able-bodied, reader wears a bikini & a dress, no outbreak AU, ambiguous beach location, both reader and Joel consume alcohol, age gap (20 years), oral sex (F and M receiving), semi public sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, reader is on birth control, pet names (sweetheart, baby), no use of y/n

Tear You Apart

Joel one shot by @mermaidgirl30

Joel comes for you late at night. He always does. Always stalks, chases, and prowls after you like a starving wolf. And when he catches you, he devours you, feeds on you like the animal he is. Will you run and hide or will you give into the temptation that calls you in the forest?

Dark themes, Little red riding hood references, dark! Joel, Joel is a menace, oral, fingering, choking, unprotected P in V, cream pie, filthy smut, degrading actions, not really violent but lots of dark themes, manipulation, rough sex, dirty talk, Joel calls reader little lamb, possessive Joel, feral! Joel, post outbreak! Joel, controlling Joel, dom! Joel, submissive reader, Joel x fem! reader, Joel is in his late 40’s and reader is in her late 20’s

inhale, exhale

Joel one shot by @sp00kymulderr

This world is not made for intimacy and both of you know it.

Fingering, mentions of sex, smoking (both reader and Joel), canon typical violence mentions, needy!Joel, fear of intimacy. Barely edited as usual.

One Day at a Time

Joel series by @sixhours

Joel becomes a dad. Again

soft!Joel, no really super soft!Joel, Joel is bad at feelings and relationships, Joel is a sap, mostly follows canon, SMUT, gratuitous smut, dubious consent (drunk sex), unplanned pregnancy, fluff, references to past miscarriages, angst, hurt/comfort, romance, age gap (~21 years), childbirth, fluffy baby stuff

mine

Joel one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

You encounter a frightening beast in the forest after getting separated from your group. Instead of killing you, he spares your life - the first of many surprises from this mysterious creature.

it's Joel Miller as a humanoid monster beast creature with a massive cock idk what you want me to say, creative liberties with anatomy and bodily fluids, they're soulmates because I wrote this so of course they are, monster!Joel can talk a little but it wouldn't kill him to watch a few episodes of Reading Rainbow or do some alphabet flash cards tbh, one curious use of an aquifer as a metaphor

Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To

Joel one shot by @freelancearsonist

Joel finds a familiar face while out on a smuggling run.

Rated PG for pure angst, one single kiss, and references to Joel's self-inflicted gun wound/self harm

Ahórcame, Papí

Joel/Frankie/Ezra one shot by @marisferasiop

After he gives a recovering addict a job (and subsequently falls head over heels for him), Joel and Frankie have a sweet, fulfilling relationship as Daddy and little exploring their kinks. Then, they meet Ezra at a leather club, another damaged vet with his own issues and kinks. They take him home, and he never really leaves.

Daddy Kink, Daddy/littles, pup kink, Breathplay (hands on throats), Orgasm Denial, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Control "Training", Light BDSM, Aftercare, Soft Dom Joel, vers Ezra, Bottom Frankie Morales, Oral Sex, Cockwarming, AnalSex, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Breeding Kink, Heat/rut kink, PTSD mention (vets), gags, fingering, choking, cum eating, prostate milking, fucking machine mention, the elusive "sissygasm"

On the Verge of a Usual Mistake

Lucien/Dieter two shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

You've been avoiding your exes Dieter Bravo and Lucien Flores all night at this event, but you're forced to come to terms with how things ended in both relationships when they seek to right their wrongs.

this is truly just porn with minimal plot (I'm so proud of myself lol), Dieter and Lucien are messy exes, threesome activities, Twister but with genitalia, Daddy and Papi kinks

In shades of gray and candlelight

Marcus P one shot by @freelancearsonist

Nothing good starts in a getaway car, but you sure do have fun delaying the inevitable.

artist!reader my beloved (reader is able-bodied, basic female anatomy and feminine pronouns used, reader is described as having hair that is long enough to be put up but otherwise she’s a blank slate), unprotected p in v sex, cum swallowing, creampie, semi-public sex acts, oral (r + m receiving), handjobs, fingering, very light switchy dom/sub dynamics, a couple spanks, pet names (sweetheart, pretty girl, baby, honey), heavy praise kink, light size kink, consent king!marcus, just like the song it does not end happily

headshots

Marcus P series by @secretelephanttattoo

You're a photographer and you get a job working for the FBI, taking corporate headshots. On your first day, you run into a handsome Special Agent. The series follows their relationship.

Fluff. Smut. PIV. Romance. Flirting. So much kissing. Non-stop nuzzling. Tiny bit of angst. Marcus in his plaid shirts. Marcus on a motorbike. Skiing. A cameo. Sex talker Marcus.

The Infinity Cube

Marcus P/Various series by @littlemisspascal

When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?

language, fluff, angst

12:32 PM

Marcus M one shot by @dancingtotuyo

Marcus likes to think he's moved on with life.

Grief, loss of a spouse (Wife), fluff

Given a name

Oberyn/Ellaria one shot by @missredherring

"This would be your greatest indulgence?" He asks, the edges of his beautiful mouth curling into a pleased grin. / How like a man to inflate his importance. It’s a pity that he isn’t wrong. / This will be my greatest selfishness.

Angst. Mentions of canon character deaths. Allusions to Greek mythology cos I'm a nerd. Reader chooses a name for herself.

Innocence need not tremble

Pero one shot by @brandyllyn

"I told you I don’t know how to fuck a maiden."

smut. PiV. starts rough. but gets better.

Cherry Wine

Whiskey one shot by @julesonrecord

Your marriage to your high school sweetheart has been hell for a long time, but when Jack discovers your awful secret, it all comes pouring out like a wine stain on the carpet. What do you find in the dregs?

MDNI; DDDNE; hurt people hurting people, domestic violence (verbal, physical, off stage neglect), there's a mention of human urine omg I'm truly horrified that survived the editing process, off stage drug use as a coping mechanism, alcoholism, infidelity, grief due to miscarriage/child loss, oblique suicidal ideations ("you should have killed me"); explicit smut; dirty talk; piv; fingering; possessive!Jack; emotional resolution?

[siriuslystarbucks]

Black

Written for @prongsfoot-microfic prompt September 18, 2024: Black

Sirius sips at his tea. "Think she's gotten the paper yet?"

James leans back in his chair towards their one window that's open for post. "I think she could make a letter post at the speed of light if she wants. So no, not yet."

"Howler?"

"Probably."

It's less than a minute later when a letter from Walburga arrives, but surprisingly, it's not a Howler. "Huh. Think we should check it for curses?" Sirius asks.

"She's your mother."

"Right. A hex, then," Sirius says, but he rips it open. Then he starts laughing.

"What? What did she say?"

"She's welcoming you to the family and telling us to start having kids."

"No bloody way." James snatches the letter from his new husband's hand, and it's exactly as he said. Walburga says, very straightforwardly, that she's happy to have James Black as a member of her family for the continuation of the line-- a line they should continue ASAP, as she's not getting any younger and would like to meet her grandchildren. "Woah." That felt like a massive understatement. Walburga hated him, had been talking since the day she discovered their relationship that he was stealing her son from her, and then this? Bloody hell, if he knew this would win her over, he would've told her the decision ages ago. "Does this mean I have to go to family reunions with you?"

"You were going to do that if I turned into a Potter."

"Still, feels different."

"I can't believe she's okay with it," Sirius says, frowning. "You don't think she's sick or summat, do you?"

James shakes his head. "I think she's just... happy."

"That's not normal for her, not when it comes to you." He holds his hand out for the letter, and James passes it over. He re-reads it-- short though it is-- then his eyes widen. "She signed it 'love'. She addressed this to both of us, and she signed it 'love'. I guess... yeah, happy. Merlin, that's odd."

[kaaaaaaarf]

imagine if I never met the broskis

Hogwarts Era. Rated T. 1.4k words. Crack. Toronto Mans Remus.

It's at this exact moment that the door to the bathroom opens, and a much more relaxed looking Remus walks out in an entirely different wardrobe from when he went in—wearing a beige Gucci branded muggle bucket hat and a Toronto Raptors jersey over matching jogging pants.  “Wagwan, fam. Reach!” Remus grabs James’ palm and pulls him in for a one armed hug. When he pulls back, he looks him up and down admiringly, “Hooooly, your quiddich pajamas are mad lit, fam."

Okay, so I wasn't going to post this, but @imsiriuslyreading told me I should (she's really scary guys), so here it is. The concept behind this is what if Roadman Remus was actually Toronto Mans Remus.

Note: I really want to stress that this is just silliness!!! If you want to know what a Toronto Mans is, this is a great explanation, as is this video from UofT. TL;DR think Drake or a Canadian rude boi/roadman. Toronto Mans slang is a multiethnical dialect used by a wide variety of people and is a linguistical result of the Canadian cultural mosaic.

Anyways.

Ratchet Happy Birthday, Remus. 🎂

Fic under the cut.

It's Sirius Black's first night at Hogwarts. So far, it’s been everything he’d hoped for. He was sorted into Gryffindor—first Black in a hundred years to not be sorted into Slytherin. He couldn’t wait to owl his parents in the morning to let them know. Maybe he’d get a howler back! Gosh, that could be fun.   

After the sorting, he met his new roommates. First there's James, who Sirius met at dinner and immediately fell a bit in love with as he watched him stick a third year’s pet frog into the pocket of a red headed girl named Lily. Her face turned the same colour as her hair when she reached in to pull out her wand and felt slimy skin instead. It was so funny, but even he has to concede that it’s a good thing they haven’t learned how to hex anyone yet, or else she would have hexed his bollocks off. His parents would hate James, say he’s a bad influence—he's perfect. Maybe he’ll talk about his new best friend James Potter in his letter in the morning.

Next there was Peter—short and kind, with a wild sense of humour—he’s had Sirius in stitches all evening. He really should be writing the comic strips that come in packs of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum, his talents feel wasted here.

Then there was Remus. Remus...well, none of them know what to make of Remus yet. He’s tall and quiet, with a wicked scar that stretches across his nose and under the golden curls that fall over his brow. He didn’t say much of anything at the feast, but the three boys overheard some of the professors saying that Remus and his family had just moved to Wales from Canada, after some sort of animal attack had happened in the Rockies. As soon as they made it to their new dorm, a tense looking Remus had shut himself in the dormitory toilets without a word. 

"Black, mind if I use the toilet next? I drank too much pumpkin juice at the feast."

Sirius looks over at James from where he’s hanging up a Holyhead Harpies poster. "Yeah, no worries, Potter. You’re welcome to it if Remus ever comes out. Do you think he’s okay in there?”

It's at this exact moment that the door to the bathroom opens, and a much more relaxed looking Remus walks out in an entirely different wardrobe from when he went in—wearing a beige Gucci branded muggle bucket hat and a Toronto Raptors jersey over matching jogging pants. 

“Wagwan, fam. Reach!” Remus grabs James’ palm and pulls him in for a one armed hug. When he pulls back, he looks him up and down admiringly, “Hooooly, your quiddich pajamas are mad lit, fam."

The three other boys look at each other, confused tilts to their brows. “Er—sorry, Remus. What do you mean fam?”

“Oh, before I was sayin’ fam, I was sayin’ bro, and before I was sayin’ bro, I was sayin’ dog. And a dog and a bro are still your fam, so I just took away the dog, took away the bro, and now I'm sayin’ fam.”

Remus moves over to his trunk, putting away his robe and clothes from dinner. Sirius leans into James’ space, smiling at Remus in a way that he guesses is a bit mad in the way that it doesn’t quite reach his wide eyes, whispering, "Do you know what he’s on about?"

James shakes his head, "No idea...Pete, any guesses?”

Peter shuffles across the room to join them, "Oh, my great aunt Perpetua is from Canada. I can try to translate. So far I think he’s said he quite likes your pyjamas, James, and he seems to think we’re his family.”

James looks pleased with that, and tries to start over, "So, Remus—what do your parents do for a living?"

"My parents are muggles, fam. They just get money, I dun know, they don't really have jobs, but they got hustle. They finesse down Weston Road, fam. They finessin' the mans out of their pockets."

Sirius and James both look at Peter, who just shrugs with a frantic look in his eyes. Sirius shakes his head and grins at Remus like he understands, "Oh, right mate. Where in Canada did you say you were from again?"

"I didn’t. I'm from the 6ix—Weston Road, fam, you already know! It's plush."

James looks hesitant when he replies, "Oh, er. We didn't already know...that's why we asked. Never heard of the 6ix."

Remus nods at them, a look of sadness suddenly crossing his lovely face, “Turonno, fam. Weston Road’s a little bit rough, I didn't fit in too much at school, fam. I used to come home and chill on the block—Weston lines, you already know. But I would say if you know what's up, stay with yourself, you move how you move, fam.”

“...Sure.”

“—but it's cool, cause now I'm here with my new fam, you know?” Remus jumps up and down suddenly excited, a spark in his eye, “Oh! Fam, fam—let me tell you the story about how I almost died smoking a muggle cigarette."

Peter rears back at that, "You were smoking a muggle cigarette? Are you not eleven like the rest of us?"

“I’m thirteen, fam. Anyways, so here I go outside to smoke a cigarette, and I'm on my porch sittin' down. I was bare tired fam, bare tired. Then a car drives by slowly. He's grillin' me, so I'm grillin' him."

Sirius tugs on James’ pyjamas, “Do you have any idea what's happening?”

“Not a clue, mate.”

Remus doesn’t seem deterred by their whispering, “So I got the cigarette in my mouth right, and I'm grillin' him, and he rolls his window down and he starts shootin' me like bom bom bom.”

“He starts shooting you!?”

“And like, fuck, fam—I was cheezed. After the first shot I fell, but they hit me so I flipped over. I ran into my back yard fam, and I hopped a fence, and when I hopped the fence I realized the bogie was still in my hand, and I was like what the hell is this bogie still doin' in my hand, so I tossed it and I was like fuck and I ran to the store."

Sirius turns to the other boys, “Pete, really going to need you to translate here.”

“I…I don’t know…”

“I thought you said your aunt was from Canada!”

Pete looks frantic, “Yeah, Manitoba! She says eh and oot instead of out. Not...whatever this is.”

Remus still doesn’t seem to notice their crisis. “—and I asked the store man one more time, did I get shot? And he's like yes. So I'm like call the ambulance, fam!"

There’s a long silence then. The three boys look at each other, waiting to see if he's going to finish the story, but he doesn't.

After a minute, a pale looking Pete mutters, "Crikey."

James shifts from foot to foot and offers, "Erm...well, we're glad you're alright, aren't we chaps?"

Sirius nods profusely, "Yeah, yeah, yes. So glad."

"Yeah, for sure, fam. That was some scary shite. That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life, it was moshed. That's why I changed my rap name."

After another beat of silence where nothing else is offered, Sirius mumbles, “...Right.”

Remus jumps onto the end of his bed, swinging his legs, “Anyways, you don' wanna hear about that shit, fam. You wanna hear about the time I got gerked by this wolf? I gerked him back though, don' worry."

James looks at his wrist as if he were wearing a muggle watch, “Erm, it’s late and we're a bit tired, aren't we lads?"

Peter and Sirius answer in enthusiastic agreement, “So tired. Exhausted, really.”

“Ah, no worries, fam. You mind if I listen to Drake before bed? My moms got me this sick muggle music player, fam. Helps me sleep.”

Sirius has no idea what a Drake is, but he’s relieved to be getting out of this conversation, “Yeah, yeah, go for it, mate. Have a good night.”

He soon finds out, and as he lays back on his bed, listening to this Drake sing about God’s Plan, he thinks of the dimple on Remus’ cheek whenever he says fam and the way it makes something swoop in his belly.

It’s going to be an interesting year.

[theclassymike]

Leo Howard on Days of Our Lives.

[timetodiverge]

Ahsoka season 2 brainstorming: practical and impractical ways to get the girls* back from Peridea

*Ahsoka, Sabine, AND Shin. (...and David Tennant, the Howler wolf, and the turtles)

(1) just use the force (somehow)

step 1: use the force

steps 2~10: ???

step 11: profit girls are home yay

(2) purrgil wearing a hyperspace-ring backpack

(Behold my astonishing drawing skills. You're astonished right.)

Since the purrgil migratory route from Seatos to Peridea only seems to go one way (because the whales go there to die), they'd have to build a mini Eye of Sion so they can all get back after Ezra hitches a ride there. Purrgil know the way to Peridia; Ezra knows the coordinates of home already.

(Will Thrawn be staking out Seatos to try to prevent this? Yes. Will that make it funnier when Ezra does it anyway and gets away with it? Most definitely 👍👍)

(3) use the "somehow, Palpatine returned" method

The audience:

(Mate, Disney did it first. This is now an in-canon way to Solve Problems.)

(4) Mortis Gods temple ruins on Lothal=secret yet convenient portal

Ezra "the force is all I need" Bridger will use his amazing Space Jesus powers and *insert additional justifications relating to loth-wolves, world-between-worlds, Lothal magic, Morai etc*, Ezra will open the portal on one side and the girls, working as a team in a way that will make us all cry, will open from the other side

(additionally, because we are not crying enough yet, there will be a cameo from Kanan!loth-wolf/DumeWolf. You're welcome)

(additionally additionally, the deal Ahsoka made with the Mortis Gods to make this possible means she will now die to repay the debt. Because the writers really want us to cry. A lot.)

...okay everyone YOUR TURN add on your most practical and impractical ideas

[transitranger327]

A Craving I Don’t Truly Understand

WolfWren Week Day 2: Wheel of Fortune

Summary: Shin Hati’s desire for power sets her path on a collision course with Sabine Wren. But Sabine knows there’s something deeper driving Shin. What happens on Peridea may alter their fates. (This is a Prequel to Ehn’yuste)

Notes: Yes I know I’m a day late for @wolfwrenweek day 2, I’ve been afflicted with the fanfic writer’s curse (having to plan my wedding on short notice). But while this is based on “you’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling” and “you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid”, there’s also plenty of Fighting as Flirting. Read it on Ao3 or below the cut

—

One Month After the Ignition

It had been two months since I cut into Sabine Wren’s life.

Two months since I found her in a lonely tower, crossing swords over a map. Almost like a holo-novel, a knight vanquishing her rival for the prize.

Of course, no matter what wounds I managed to inflict on her, Sabine Wren didn’t die. It wasn’t that the wounds didn’t hurt her (I fed off her delicious pain), she just stubbornly refused to stop living. Lightsaber stabs, blaster shots, they took her down…but she always got up.

It was infuriating.

I imagined it was a singular desire to bring Ezra back. After all, why would she bargain away the galaxy’s future for him? I had seen what was left of the tower after Thrawn left: dozens of stormtrooper bodies strewn about, with wounds of lightsaber, blaster origins. While Sabine was still stuck on this planet, Ezra had managed to escape. And yet, her disregard for death continued.

—

Our first encounter after I parted ways with the Empire happened two weeks later. My group of bandits had tracked down her Noti camp, and we attacked when she was scouting out ahead. It was the only time I had ever gotten the drop on her. The Force guided my blade; I was able to find a few gaps in her armor. I didn’t stick around to kill her—the rest of the bandits needed me—but I didn’t expect her to get up so soon afterwards. As we were finishing the raid, Sabine staggered back to the camp, blasters ablaze. It didn’t matter, she couldn’t stop us, but it frustrated me.

—

Post-imperial encounter #2: a week after the previous, far away from their Noti nomads. She appeared to be meditating, exposed, in an empty valley. A powerless Jedi, attempting to meditate? How laughable.

I shouldn’t’ve laughed.

The bandits surrounded her, and I looked down from my howler. She opened her eyes, looking back. “Welcome,” she used a calm voice I’d never heard before, “Care to join me?”

“No.” I turned to the bandits, “Attack!”

Faster than I thought possible for someone like her, she arose. The blaster shots bounced off her armor and newly ignited blade. Well, most did; one shot managed to land on her unprotected leg. It triggered an immediate response from her. She flung her hands out, and suddenly we were all on the ground, wind knocked out of us. Unexpected telekinesis.

Limping, she approached me; a lightsaber swing aiming for my dominant shoulder. My blade moved fast enough to parry, but it was close.

“You really don’t want to follow me.” A powerful suggestion, as she pressed my own lightsaber down to mere millimeters from my chest. And yet, a hint of playfulness seeped into her voice.

She removed her weight, shut off her blade, and returned to gather her things. This was not the failed apprentice I had written off a month earlier.

The bandits that survived made it known that I would no longer be leading them.

—

Another encounter, one month in. A strange mirror of our earlier encounter. Sabine found me, unaware, collecting water for the bandits. A warning shot ripped past my face, searing light in my left eye, ringing in my ear, singeing several hairs. I whipped around, searching for her silhouette by the light of my sword.

“Who’s there?” I ask, “What do you want?”

“Just me, looking for the same thing you are.” Sabine holstered her blaster and sauntered up to the watering hole with several canteens.

I turned off my saber. “How are you not dead yet?”

“I’m Mandalorian, we always survive.” She paused, in thought, before continuing, “or, we know how to.”

“But I’ve tried killing you, personally.”

“Do or do not, there is no try. And your attempts have gotten much lamer after your first one.”

I laughed. “Well if stabbing can’t kill you, there’s not much else I can do.”

“Oh sure there is. You haven’t tried poisoning me, strangling me, or explosives.” She grinned, “Big fan of the last one.”

On one hand, I could strike her down while she was here, defenseless, refilling bottles and pouches with this incredibly mediocre water. But I surmised she was not truly defenseless, sure those vambraces held more secrets. And she had the chance to kill me, but did not take it. Perhaps that favor could be repaid.

And how did she become so good at eluding my senses? Was I going soft, without someone to train or spar with me?

“I’ll keep those options in mind, for the next time we meet.”

She gave me a thrilled look. Strange…Baylan had taught me that proper Jedi don’t rush into fights or goad their enemies. But Sabine was different, and I had to know more.

I left the watering hole, but lurked in the shadows to follow her.

—

I continued slipping to the outside of the bandits’ social order. Their desire was for material goods. I still went on occasional raids with them, for basic sustenance, but I craved a different kind of power. A tighter command of the Force, a way to finally defeat Sabine Wren.

Each time we fought, I did get stronger. I had begun to anticipate her moves, discerning her ever-more-complex patterns of attack.

But her skills seemed to grow faster than mine. I needed to know how. I couldn’t stop yearning for her secret.

—

Today was our eighth duel on this planet. She kept pushing me back, fighting me into a corner of a cliff-face.

Our blades locked. I plead, “How do you keep getting stronger?”

A chuckle, “How else do you think? The Force.”

Fury ignited within me, allowing me to stop playing defense. “But you had no power!”

Sabine didn’t fall back much. “Wow, you really are obsessed with me.”

“I need to know.” The words somehow sounded more desperate than I was.

“Surely Baylan taught you how to listen to the will of the Force.”

“Yes, but—” I couldn’t think straight anymore, couldn’t order my thoughts enough to give a coherent answer.

“You can’t stop thinking about how I do it. You can’t stop the feeling that something isn’t right, that something is missing.”

I met her smirk with a much less confident nod.

Her next words made me regret it; they stabbed thru my heart. “You wanna kiss me so bad, it makes you look stupid.”

The sky above came crashing down.

I refused to let my emotions spill out of my heart in front of her.

So I ran.

I didn’t want look back. Didn’t want to show how much her words affected me. But I kept looking over my shoulder. A part of me wanted her to chase me.

—

Notes: Standard weeks are 5 days long, and the standard year is 12 months, so I’m just gonna assume they’re 6-week months (with either a month of 7 weeks or an extra day in 5 of the 12 months)

For my returning fans: I doubt I’ll write anything in between this and Ehn’yuste (timeline-wise) for a while, aside from the occasional flashback.

[tedwardremus]

Happy Birthday Sirius Black

Hogwarts Years

Interesting House Guests

(Or The time Sirius invited the lads to spend the week at Grimmauld Place)

Tree Cutting

Every Gryffindor in the tower heard Walburga's howler calling Sirius a filthy traitor.

Lily knows what it feels like when someone you love calls you nasty names.

My dog said I can't go out with you

Lily had been waiting patiently for James to ask her out for the first Hogsmeade weekend of the term. Sirius insists she turn James down so Sirius can hang out with her instead. (it's all part of Sirius' greater matchmaking plan)

Does Permanent Mean Forever?

It is James Potter's seventeenth birthday, and to commemorate the occasion, he proposes to the gang that they go out and get tattooed.

To Climb Steep Hills Requires A Slow Pace At First

Sirius Black feels the need take a walk but really he just needs someone to love him

Harry and Sirius Canon Compliant

The Past is a Bucket of Ash 

Over burnt photographs, Harry had a late-night chat with Sirius about his family history

Retrouvaille (or the happiness of meeting someone you love after a long time)

It was late, and the street was dark except for a faint glow from the street lamps. Even from this distance, Sirius saw the familiar untidy hair and felt a pang of recognition.

Harry.

The times Sirius and Harry reunited and the times they were forced to say goodbye.

Constant as the Northern Star 

In the summer of 1995 Sirius helps Harry with his astronomy homework.

Harry and Sirius AU

A Time To Mourn

Sirius Black, recently declared innocent by the Ministry of Magic, visits his godson on Halloween.

Snuffles & Son

Sirius raises Harry and opens a shop that specializes in repairing cursed artifacts and places protection wards on family heirlooms. One day, an Unspeakable from the Department of Mysteries walks in with a cursed artifact from his cousin's confiscated Gringotts vault, requesting Sirius's assistance.

Padfoot in Privet Drive 

Sirius Black follows Harry to Privet Drive after the Triwizard Tournament.

Miscellaneous

The Parting Glass 

The last full moon, Moony and Padfoot spend together.

Unresolved Questions Of Wizard Cosmology

Ten-year-old Sirius and his father take a trip to the British Magical Observatory.

Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communiter 

Sirius is an Olympic athlete competing in the wizard pentathlon, James is a quidditch player, and Lily is a sports reporter. The three of them meet at the Olympic Village. And well, you know what happens at the Olympic Village...

Finding Your Magical Roots 

The Black Family welcomes the reality show Finding Your Magical Roots into their home to film a special episode.

[p5x-theories]

Welcome to the blog!

P5X is live! It’s currently available in China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, and Korea. This beta (functionally an official launch) is open, meaning anyone with a phone number for these regions can play. The Hong Kong/Taiwan/Macau beta is also accessible with a Google account. A global release for the game has been indirectly confirmed (an official statement said a console version would come after the global release)!

Currently, the game is on Version 3.0.1. Version 3.0.2 will be released December 5th!

Here are some links and info that’ll hopefully be useful:

Game info overview

Masterpost of explanations for features/mechanics that are changed from P5 or completely new

Summary of the game’s main plot + P5 Collab plot masterpost

List of game versions and their content

What we know so far about Wonder

What we know so far about Cattle

What we know so far about Closer

What we know so far about Soy

What we know so far about Wind

Explanation and info on “Phantom Idol” (gacha) teammates: the P5 characters, Fleuret, Yuki, Mont, Moko, Key, Okyann, Rin, Leon, Bui, Riddle, Sepia, Puppet, Marian, Vino, Phoebe, Chord, Messa, Cherish, Howler

Info on known future teammates

Info on other notable NPCs

Info on side questlines

School questions (and their answers)

Tag masterpost for this blog

FAQ

And of course, sending in your theories/questions/comments/anything about P5X is totally welcome! Encouraged, even! This is a blog for everything P5X-related, basically.

I, the mod of this blog, also 1) know some Japanese, so if there's something voiced that you're interested in a translation of, feel free to ask, though try to limit it to one character/scene at a time, and 2) have datamined all three betas and the official launch myself, so feel free to ask about anything in the files as well, as I may know/have it (though, again, please be reasonable about how much you ask for in a single ask!)!

[thisdayinredrising]

Welcome Howlers!

This blog is basically going to be a space where I can count off the days throughout the years where things happen in the Red Rising universe, whether offscreen, pre-saga, or during the novels themselves.

All dates are compiled from the most recent version of my timeline notes over on AO3, and contain spoilers for all 6 currently released novels of the Red Rising saga and all 3 volumes of the Sons of Ares prequel comics.

Hope you all enjoy!

--@violethowler

[meowczafhaye]

Battle against the corruption (missing friend ep. 3) (furry OC x crossover)

Also, I was going to make the next comic of them fighting against the corruption, but you can make your part of this story lore about your OC's (not only one, but with your friends) battling against the corrupt enemies (howler wolf, Dr zebra-zip and Octotag) and saving catdraws, for Dr uno, he'll be the final boss on the next episode

OC characters:

- kitty/beast czafhaye

- beast luna @/ Luna_Moon80

- beast Turbo @/ Turbo_G.T.Blackwing63

- @/ Exe2449mgV

- beast cleisla @cleislaspiderbat

- @/ Soap_delicious4v92

- softie Paws (my welcome home OC)

- Dr. Uno, Dr zebra-zip and Octotag @neoshifluffyo

Canon characters

- ink/showdown bandit (SB AU)

- miss circle (FPE)

- silly billy (FNF)

-jeff the killer (creepypasta)