#welcome back Shania

[cordelianewman]

Do you want the honest answer to that, or the sugar coated version? No problem baby, I'm not going to make you stay home another day for me. Not that you had to stay home today, I told you that. I'm going to try and make it fun for both of them. Maybe start off at the aquarium and then let Colton choose where he wants to go. With some lunch mixed in. That sounds nice, don't buy too much I'm still not super hungry but I will eat something. Especially if it involves something like homemade mac and cheese.

I was going to ask if you were feeling any better, but I didn't want to push. I think that would be a good idea, I have to go back to work tomorrow, we are going to get historical designation on that bungalow we looked at, so I've got to start surveying and drawing up plans -- which means I'll be very jealous of you guys having an afternoon together. Colton would love that, and then maybe I can pick up dinner and meet you guys at home?

[notapradagurl7]

Finally, Better.

Divorced!Black!OC x Clifford Smith/Method Man. (present-day)

Summary: Cori is a single mother of two, a 7-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old son, who seeks a change in her life due to her struggles with weight after her divorce. Encouraged by friends, she joins a gym and meets a trainer named Cliff, known for his effectiveness. As they work out together, Cori and Cliff develop feelings for each other, despite Cliff's initial stance on dating clients. Eventually, he asks her out, and after a successful date, they become intimate. A few months later, Cori gives birth to a baby girl.

Warnings: heavy dirty talk, fluff, heavy smut, divorced!reader, use of AAVE, both horny, praise, consensual intimacy, cursing, oral(fem reciving) size kink, creampie, spanking, rough sex

(Requested by duhitzkayla

A/N: here you go! Hope you enjoyed it, I have missed writing about this fine man, ugh😩😭 Don't forget to leave comments, likes and reblogs are welcome to support, drop a request if you like, they're always open! ❤️🫡

Taglist: @megamindsecretlair @satoruya @planetblaque @playgurlxoxo @becauseimswagman1 @yassbishimvintage @blackgrlmagic @hxneyclouds @kaylalb @pocketsizedpanther @beenathembo @brattyfics @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @nayaesworld @ovohanna24 @novahreign @writingsbytee @avoidthings @kimuzostar @slippinninque @keyera-jackson @theblacklewinsky @euphorichappiness10 @life-in-the-slut-house @miguelspvssy @liatreads @kaylaahisthebestest- - @uniqueoutlierblog @dxddykenn @sageispunk @secretlifeoofmarpessa @mymindisneverhere @mind-somewhere-else @valarghoulis @jazziejax @enchantedillumination @saturnville @browngirldominion @henneseyhoe @irlvampfairy @avoidthings @uzumaki-rebellion @planetblaque @blackmoonchilee 

———-

Being a divorced single mom with a 7-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old son wasn't for the faint of heart, but Cori continued to not let anything get her down, she kept a lucrative career that kept the bills, mortgage, and car bills, everything all at once paid in her one story home.

Her ex-husband was exhausting with his rabbit-ass mind, the fights about everything weren't worth it. His need to be in control.

That morning, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped the cozy atmosphere of Brown Sugar, a charming café run by local Black owners.

Cori sat at a rustic wooden table with her friends, Melanie and Shania, their laughter mingling with the soft murmur of conversation around them.

As they savored rich brown cups of dark roast and indulged in an assortment of delectable pastries, a lingering worry tugged at Cori’s thoughts—her baby weight.

Each sip of her steaming latte was accompanied by a rush of guilt as she couldn’t but compare her postpartum body to the easy confidence of her friends.

They exchanged concerned looks between each other and then back at their bestie.

“Are you okay?”Shania asked, her face softened gently, placing her cup down.

Cori shook her head, “No, I've got this baby weight on me but I know it’s time for a change,” She replied with confidence.

“That’s the spirit Cori! You’re not alone in this either, Mel and I had the same baby weight after our little ones,” Shaina explained with a promising tone.

Melanie agreed with a nod of confidence, wiping the stain from her plump lips, and the corners of her mouth.

“She’s right and we found the perfect gym and the right trainer, the gym is called Gym Haven, and be sure to ask for that fine trainer named Cliff, whew! He got us right!” Melanie exclaimed with a giggle.

Cori listened intently from their words, and decided to go tomorrow morning to meet her trainer, so much was ahead.

The sweet flavors danced on her tongue, yet the shadow of self-doubt loomed in her mind.

Cori arrived at Gym Haven the next morning, her heart racing with excitement and nerves. As she stepped inside, the sound of weights clanking and the rhythm of upbeat music. She took a deep breath, reminding herself of her goals.

Walking toward the front desk with the beautiful brown-skinned woman, her smile right on cue once Cori appeared.

“Hello, welcome to Gym Haven, you’re Cori right? From the phone call?” She asked her.

“Yeah, that's me, I called in for training sessions with Cliff yesterday,” Cori replied, smiling back.

The woman nodded with a grin, “Yes, he is heading your way right now!”

You nodded, and turned around to see the man.

“What’s up? You must be Cori,” a deep, smooth voice called out. Cori looked up to see a tall, muscular man with a confident smile approaching her. His skin glistened slightly from his workout, and his dark hair cut in a taper fade.

“Yeah, that’s me,” she said, her cheeks flushing slightly.

“I’m Cliff,” he said, extending his hand. “I’ll be your trainer. Ready to get started?”

“Definitely,” she replied, shaking his hand.

“Good to hear. Let’s see what you’re working with,” Cliff said playfully, leading her to the workout area.

“Don’t worry, I’ll push you, but I’ll also make sure you’re having fun.”

As they began to lift weights, do squats, run miles on the track, sweat fell from their bodies. Cliff kept her motivated in the best way, each one kept the weight off but still she needed this.

She gently got off the treadmill, and Cliff passed her the water bottle, as she took long sip and a few gulps of it and he did the same. They began to look at each other with a light chuckles.

“So, what do you do when you’re not training clients like me?” Cori asked, catching her breath.

“I’m usually here at the gym or spending time with my family. I’ve got an eight-year-old daughter, so it’s a lot of running around,” he replied, his eyes lighting up.

“Same here! My kids keep me on my toes,” she chuckled, feeling a sense of camaraderie.

Hours passed in what felt like minutes, and as they wrapped up, Cliff handed Cori a towel, their fingers brushing against each other. “You did great today. I think we could make a real team.”

“Thanks, Cliff. I appreciate that,” she smiled, feeling a warmth spreading through her.

“Actually, I was thinking… how about we grab a smoothie after this? You know, to celebrate your first day?” Cliff suggested, his gaze intense as he waited for her answer.

Cori bit her lip, contemplating. “I’d like that,” she replied, her heart fluttering with anticipation.

They headed to a nearby smoothie bar, you settled for a strawberry banana smoothie while he went an energy smoothie that was still filled with fruit.

The two of them sat across from each other at the table, and began to discuss other things. work, their kids and life in general.

“I finally had a day off for myself today, no work, the kids are staying with their grandmother and my ex was crazy too,”

Cori didn't mean to blurt it out so quickly, she didn't know this man enough to tell her business. Ugh, why did I tell him that? Cori thought to herself.

“I'm sorry,”

Cliff shakes his head in empathy, “Nah, you're good, I understand completely,” he knew exactly what she is telling him. His divorce wasn't a walk in the park either, he felt your pain.

“It’s tough, Trying to balance everything, especially after a split,” he said softly.

Cori nodded, the weight of her experiences surfacing as she spoke. “It really is. Some days, it feels like I’m just trying to keep my head above water with the kids and work. And then there’s this pressure to get back to how I used to be,”

“Girl, let me tell you, you’re beautiful just as you are,” Cliff brought up, a warm smile spreading across his face.

“It’s not about fitting into a mold; it’s about feeling good in your skin. And you’re doing that.” he went on to say.

Cori felt her cheeks heat up, “Thanks, Cliff,”

Honestly she felt good about making this change, working out and meeting this man. Her friends were definitely right about this place and Cliff.

Maybe getting back into the dating pool wouldn't be bad, nope you just this man, don't rush it.

“Honestly, I'm ready for another workout session,” you replied back.

After more and more workouts, you leave the gym satisfied with your progress, so far, so good on your part. But that man was fine as hell though, thankfully you signed up for the 30-day training session with Cliff.

Over the following weeks, their workouts more progress for you.

Once you were done with your workout session, you approached Cliff who gave you a fresh towel. Wiping your forehead clean while panting.

“Damn, today was intense,” you laughed, leaning against the wall to catch your breath.

Cliff stood by the machine, panting heavily, and nodded in agreement. “You did amazing, Cori. I can see you’re really pushing yourself,” he said, his deep yet raspy voice sending shivers down your spine.

“Thanks, I feel like I’m finally getting back to myself,” you admitted, glancing up into his eyes.

“You know, it’s not just about the physical—it's about the mental too,” Cliff said, his tone shifting to something more serious.

“That's true, I see it in myself every day, I come here,” You replied back, drinking your water.

“Absolutely. I see it in you every day, I'm sure that your kids see it in you as well,” he replied, taking a step back to let you breathe.

You smiled, the thought of your children looking up to you filling you with pride. “I know so. They’re my little motivators.”

“Then let’s keep them inspired,” Cliff said, grinning. “You’ve got this, and I’m here to help.”

As you come by, the bond between the two of you grows stronger. You shared jokes, laughter and stories.

One evening, after a particularly grueling session, you both collapsed onto the gym floor, breathless and laughing.

“Okay, I think I’m officially the walking dead,” you joked, lying back, your box braids splayed out around you.

Cliff chuckled, lying next to you. “Nah, you’re just giving your muscles some love before we hit the next round.”

“Right, right! All part of the master plan,” you said, rolling your eyes playfully.

In that moment, silence enveloped you both, and you could feel the tension shifting. You turned your head to look at him, and he was already looking back at you.

“Cori…” he started, his voice low. “I know I said I don’t date clients, but…”

Your heart raced at his words. “But?”

“I can’t help but feel something between us. It’s more than just training,” he confessed, his gaze steady.

You bit your lip, contemplating your response. “I feel it too, Cliff. But I don’t want to rush anything. I’m just getting back into dating, and I have my kids to think about.”

“Trust me, I get it. I have my daughter to think about too,” he replied, his expression softening. “But I think we should explore this…us.”

You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and excitement. “Okay, let’s take it slow. but I’d like to see where this goes.”

“Slow and steady wins the race,” he said, flashing you that charming smile that made your heart flutter.

After that conversation, things shifted in the gym.

One evening, after a workout session, you both decided to grab some dinner. As you sat across from him at a cozy restaurant, the conversation flowed effortlessly.

“So, what do you like to do for fun?” Cliff asked, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table.

“I love to cook. It’s my way of unwinding after a long day with the kids,” you replied, your eyes lighting up at the thought. “What about you?”

“I love to cook too. I love going to kitchen and discovering new foods that I can whip up from scratch,” he said, his enthusiasm infectious.

“Great minds think alike,”

One night, after they’d finished a particularly intense workout, Cliff invited Cori back to his place to unwind as they settled onto his plush red couch.

“Wanna watch a movie?” he asked, his voice low and inviting.

“Sure, but I might just end up watching you,” Cori teased, her heart racing as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

Cliff chuckled, his gaze intense as he met her eyes. “I hope you like what you see.”

As the movie played in the background, deciding for a scary movie as you pointed out the obvious to the actors to not go inside the attic. He chuckled with you and agreed.

Cori’s breath hitched as Cliff leaned closer, his hand brushing against her thigh, igniting a fire within her.

“Cori…” he murmured, his voice deep with desire. “Can I kiss you?”

Her heart raced as she nodded, and in an instant, his lips were on hers, all the yearning, pent-up lust to let out on each other, deepening the kiss.

“You ready?”

“Hell yeah.”

Their clothes were gently taken off, and tossed across the floor. Their bodies gently plopped onto her bed, and the couple kissed again.

Cliff gently pulled her legs apart, making her breath hitch before kissing him again. He pushed his manhood inside, and she moaned wildly at the feeling of him. He filled her up completely.

“Fuck..you feel so good, move,” she groaned softly, her hands gripping the sheets as she felt him going in and out at a rough pace.

Cliff pulled back, looking down at her with a smirk. “You like that?” His hips rolling into her, thrusts wild and sloppy, her wetness covering his dick after every stroke. Her wild moans filling the room around them, her nails scratched his back.

The bed creaked underneath once Cliff kept thrusting hard with no mercy, all she could was scream out his name, “Y-yes! Cliff…fuck!” she whimpered, his thumbs dug deep into her hips, leaving bruises on her melanated skin, watching her bounce.

He was bullying his dick to fit every inch in her pussy, slamming into her g-spot. His hand grabs his lover by the jaw, forcing her to look in his eyes, he brought her over the edge, pleasure flowed through. “You’re taking me so well, baby,” he groaned, so close yet so good for both of you.

Wetness spilling all over his dick with fervor, “I love how you take every inch, how does it feel?” Cliff trailed off with a groan, forcefully thrusting fastly and caused a sharp jolt of pain and pleasure to make you moan loudly, “So…good! Shit!” and your walls to clenched tighter.

On verge of a release, knots tightening in her stomach. Her body felt so hot and coated in sweat, “Mine…” you gasped, moving her hips, your teeth sink deep into his sink, marking the male as yours, he hissed.

Before she could say anything, Serenity were already cumming around his dick. Screaming out in pleasure as Cliff spilled his release inside you making him groan, “I'm so proud of you,” he praised before kissing her forehead, feeling of your essence spill out.

He pulled out immediately before taking off the comdom and tied the ends, They were both breathless when they finally pulled away, their bodies tangled together.

She looked up at him, a satisfied smile on her face. "I feel better, thank you" she thanked her boyfriend, her thumbs caressing his cheeks.

He grinned down at her, his eyes sparkling. "No problem, I'm always to help." he replied, before kissing her again. Tracing lazy circles on her thighs.

Once that was done, Cliff pulled his sweatpants and scooped her up in his arms. Running her hot bath, as she washed herself up clean.

Getting dressed in her pajamas while he took a shower before he leaned forward from the bathroom, “Did you bite me?” he asked with his brows furrowing.

“Yeah, I did. I was trying to match the energy,” Cori chuckled, as she applied lotion to herself.

“You’re good, you were like a damn vampire, I like it,”

After months later of dating Clifford, she began to feel nauseous and threw up in the toilet, she went to the doctor and Clifford drove Cori, turns out she was pregnant with a baby girl.

Once that sank in, you left the doctor with Clifford and arrived back at her home with him. Both of them sitting on the couch.

“You okay baby?” Clifford asked in concern, his hand gently rubbing her stomach in circles.

Cori glanced back at him, exhaling. “We have a baby together, but do you still want to be with me and my kids? Our baby girl?” She asked him, wiping her tears away.

Clifford’s face softened, filled with love and understanding. He was going to be with Cori.

He reached across the couch, taking her hands in his, his thumb gently stroking her knuckles. “Of course I do, Cori. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. You and your kids… they mean everything to me,” he said earnestly, his dark eyes locking onto hers.

Cori felt a wave of relief wash over her; the weight of uncertainty that had been pressing down on her chest began to lift. “I just want to make sure we’re doing this right,” she admitted, biting her lip.

Cliff nodded, his expression serious. “I get it. But I’m committed to you, to us. I want to be there for you and the kids, through everything. I want to be a family.”

His words warmed her heart, and she found herself smiling through her tears. “You mean that?”

“More than anything, I'm all in, I don't plan on stopping either,” he replied, leaning closer to her.

She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. They stayed like that for a while, simply enjoying each other’s presence, the reality of their future slowly settling in.

“Do you think the kids will be okay with this?” Cori asked, breaking the silence.

Cliff chuckled softly, “They’ll love having me around. And besides, I’ve got a few ideas up my sleeve to win them over,” he replied with a playful grin. “I can cook, remember?”

Cori laughed, feeling the stress ease. “Yeah, I remember. They’re going to love that.”

————

[e-dubbc11]

No One Needs to Know

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: little drinking, smooches, fluff, maybe a swear word or two

Word Count: 1.6K-ish

Summary: Takes place before Billy and Reader get together, when they’re still crushing on each other and one scene in present day

A/N: Part of the Sweetest Pain Series. I’ll leave the rest of the series linked HERE so I heard the song No One Needs to Know by Shania Twain last week and it just reminded me of this series and sparked this little idea. I’ll link the song at the end.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕💕

Billy didn’t know.

He had no idea that every time he touched you, every cell in your body tingled from the top of your head, all the way down to your toes and the hair on the back of your neck would stand up.

But he was your tattoo artist, he was supposed to touch you, he was supposed to rest his long talented fingers on your warm soft skin as he drew permanent works of art on you for everyone to see, but you weren’t supposed to be turned on by it. The needle gently scratching the surface of your skin for hours, although painful at times, was the best kind of pain and it kept you going back for more.

The growing ache between your thighs, the butterflies in your stomach, and the goosebumps that peppered your skin…all of them were not supposed to happen. Billy’s clean familiar smell of green soap was not supposed to be one of your favorite smells in the world but it was.

Impure thoughts of “What else are those fingers good at besides art?” or “I wonder what it’s like to fuck in the tattoo chair?” raced through your mind almost daily.

A couple of days before your appointments, your heart would begin to beat just a little bit faster than normal, you’d catch yourself daydreaming and smiling for no reason thinking about Billy. You would replay some of your past appointments in your head, how gentle he was drawing little circles on your skin with the petroleum jelly before pressing the needle to your skin, how cool the sharpie felt at first when he needed to free hand some of the flowers on your arm, and how the warm air that escaped his lips moved across your shoulder when he was trying to get the stencil to dry quickly.

All of these thoughts and memories made you question whether or not what you felt for Billy was just a crush or…were you in love with him. Above everything else, the two of you were friends and you didn’t want to ruin the friendship by telling him how you felt if he didn’t feel the same way about you.

It was even difficult to tell your friends what you were feeling for Billy because of his reputation around town of being a womanizer and never having a serious relationship so you never even told them you had a crush on Billy.

They learned how you really felt about him during a karaoke session where you were a little bit tipsy on one of your girls’ nights. You sang Shania Twain’s No One Needs to Know. They figured it out pretty quickly after that. Just as Billy told you he had a secret love of 80’s hair metal, 90’s country was your guilty pleasure. Ever since you had walked into his shop, you had that song playing in heavy rotation.

Am I dreamin’ or stupid?

I think I’ve been hit by cupid

But no one needs to know right now

I met a tall, dark and handsome man

And I’ve been busy makin’ big plans

But no one needs to know right now

I got my heart set, my feet wet

But he don’t even know it yet

But no one needs to know right now

I’ll tell him someday some way somehow

But I’m gonna keep it a secret for now

“Is that song about anyone in particular, y/n?” Your friend Danielle asked.

Her question took you by surprise because you thought you were doing a good job of hiding the fact that you were crushing hard on your tattoo artist, so you just shook your head nonchalantly.

“Come on, you can tell us. We’re your best friends!” Said Jessie, excitedly.

Danielle pondered for a minute and then asked, “Well what if we guessed who it is? Would you tell us yes or no?”

What harm could come from them guessing? You were really sure that they had no idea you had a crush on Billy.

“Sure. If you guess, I’ll tell you yes or no.” You said.

Both of them were deep in thought before Danielle asked, “What about that dude from work? The one that always comes into your cube to talk.”

You closed your eyes briefly and shook your head.

Jessie had the next guess.

“Or the guy from the gym that always asks you to spot him?” She asked.

You replied with a slightly sinister smile. “Nope! Not him either.”

“Well, shit…who could it be?” Danielle asked in a frustrated tone.

You could almost see the lightbulb appear over Jessie’s head when a wide smiled stretched across her lips and her eyes lit up with excitement when she said, “I got it! Ya know how she is always ridiculously happy after she’s done at the tattoo shop?!”

Danielle’s eyes widened and started pointing.

“Oh my god, she has a crush on her tattoo artist!!” Exclaimed Danielle.

Jessie gasped then replied, “I think you might be right!”

The two of them held their breath as they waited for you to reply.

You didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. “Yes, alright. I have a HUGE crush on Billy, ok. And I know you guys are gonna tell me he’s always out with different women but we’re friends, we always talk and laugh when I’m at the shop. It’s just easy with him and I just…I just really like him, ok?”

Your friends looked at you fondly like they knew you were really in love with him and no matter how badly they wanted to tease you about it, they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it. They just wanted you to be happy.

Danielle worked at a bar that Billy frequented and she then told you something that surprised you.

“Ya know since he’s been tattooing you, he hasn’t been to the bar…at all. Well, maybe a handful of times with Frank but he always leaves alone.” She said with a friendly smile, moving a stray hair away from your eyes.

I want bells to ring, a choir to sing

The white dress, the guests, the cake, the car, the whole darn thing

But no one needs to know right now

I’ll tell him someday some way somehow

But I’m gonna keep it a secret for now

We’ll have a little girl, a little boy

A little Benji we call Leroy

But no one needs to know right now

“He hasn’t? He’s been tattooing me for six years!” You asked with a hitch in your voice.

She shook her head slowly. “No…I even asked about the nights I’m not there. Maybe you should tell him how you feel. He could feel the same way you do, ya know.”

“I have another appointment in a few days.” You said nervously.

Jessie looked at Danielle then looked back at you and said, “I think it’s time to tell him. He really could be the one…and I’m just gonna throw this out there, you guys would have beautiful babies.”

The three of you laughed, hugged and enjoyed the rest of the night but it didn’t make you any less nervous about telling Billy how you really felt about him.

You really hoped he felt the same way.

**********

“And I did feel the same way.” Said Billy, as he kissed the top of your head.

As you kissed him on the cheek, the bristles of his beard gently tickled your lips and your mouth split into a smile. Billy had also been nervous about telling you how he felt about you because he was scared to fall in love, scared that if he finally let his guard down that you would leave and never come back…just like his mother had done.

Falling in love would just be another curse, leading to more pain and self-loathing because he thought he didn’t deserve love.

That’s why he never had long term relationships. If he never got attached, they’d never have a chance to leave and he wouldn’t consider himself weak. But you were different. You were everything he had ever wanted, someone who could make him laugh, someone he could open up to, and someone who accepted him for who he really was. Billy Russo was finally happy because of you, his little firecracker.

“We had beautiful babies too.” You said with a warm smile.

Billy captured your lips with his, your smiles chasing each other in between kisses, and he gazed at you with his endless brown eyes like he hadn’t seen you in a week. With that million-dollar smile and a wink, he pulled you flush against his chest and said, “Well, you know what we have to get now, right sweet girl?”

Confused, you pulled away slightly and asked, “What’s that, baby?”

“A little Benji we call Leroy.” Billy sang softly to you in your ear.

As a wide smile stretched across your lips, his long slender fingers reached for the hem of your shirt then brushed the soft skin of your stomach as he leaned in until his lips were on yours once again.

From the very first time Billy kissed you, it felt like his kisses were meant to be all for you, like the ones that came before you never existed and he’d be the first one to tell you that none of them mattered to him…at all.

Billy had wanted you all along and he wanted everyone to know…right now.

And I’m not lonely anymore at night

And he don’t know that only he can make it right

I’m not dreamin’ or stupid

But boy have I been hit by cupid

And no one needs to know right now

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @fakehappy27 @snowkestrel @music-indie-tv @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @fictional-hooman @celestialend @nutmeg17 @k-marzolf @vaguekayla @rosaleenablack @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @aoi-targaryen @rachlovesactors @qu1etwolf

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

A Cut Above The Rest

Mechanic!Eddie x Fem!Hairdresser!Reader

Will You Be My Girl? (Part 10) FINAL PART

Summary:Things are starting to look up for you as the prospect of a new job comes your way, and the boy of your dreams has one final surprise for you (sorry I suck at summaries but I didn't want to spoil anything!!)

also I highly suggest listening to this just so you can imagine the same thing I imagined when I wrote a particular scene.

Thank you so much to everyone and anyone who read and enjoyed this fic. Writing it was at times very challenging but it warms my heart to know that even a small handful of people liked this story. 🧡

Word Count:1,988

<- Previous Part

Masterlist Series Masterlist

It takes you about an hour and a half to drive into Indianapolis, the sounds of Shania Twain’s ‘Come On Over’ album filtering through your car’s CD player as you pull up outside of the salon in the centre of town.

The exterior of the building already looks way more fancier than any other establishment you’ve ever set foot in, never mind worked in, with colourful lights and flowers decorating the windows.

You pick up your portfolio from your passenger side seat and make your way to the salon. You push through the door, with a chirpy bell ringing above you as you do.

You approach the front desk where a young girl with long, dark braids greets you.

“Hello, Welcome to Blossom Studios, how can I help you today?” she smiles, her pearly teeth shining between glossy lips.

“Um hi, I spoke to Madison Martin on the phone a few days ago, I have a meeting with her today.” you say confidently.

“Ah yes, of course! You must be Y/n? I heard Maddie talking about you. Right this way.” she smiles as she brings you through the salon’s already busy floor to a small room toward the back.

The girl knocks on the door,

“Hey! Maddie, your girl is here.” she shouts.

“Thank you, Naomi, send her in.” comes the voice from behind the door.

Naomi pushes the door open for you, and ushers you into the small back-room.

A woman with her glossy strawberry blonde hair styled back into a sleek and professional ponytail stands up to greet you.

“Hi, I’m Madison, you must be Y/n, right?” she smiles as she extends her hand for you to shake.

“Yes, that’s me.” you nod politely as you shake her offered hand.

“Well, we’re a bit short staffed at the moment, and we are looking for people to work here on a more permanent basis, and when I saw your advertisement in the library, I thought I’d take a chance on you.”

“Well I’m very glad of the opportunity.” you smile. “If I may, I’d like to show you my portfolio?” you say raising the black ring binder in your hands.

“Of course, I’d love to see your work.” she returns as you hand over your folder.

You sit quietly as Madison begins to leaf through your folder, looking over the pictures of your work, as well as reading through your resume and cover letter.

“I see that you're a very accomplished stylist, and have a very well-put together portfolio. If you’re willing, I would love to ask you to be a part of our styling team.” she smiles brightly handing over your portfolio back to you.

“That would be amazing! I would love to” you cheer.

“That’s wonderful news, of course for the first two weeks, we’ll have one of our senior stylists shadow you, and show you how we do things around here, but I think that someone like you could be a great asset to our team” Madison praised.

“Again, thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity, I promise I’ll give it my all.” you reassure her with a confident smile.

“I’m sure you will.” she shakes your hand once more. “You start Monday at nine o’clock.���

“Nine o’clock it is, I’ll see you then. Thank you again.” You smile brightly as you gather your things back up and make your way out of the Salon.

You get back into your car before breaking into a small victory cheer, thinking how things couldn’t have gone any better for you. 

You reach into your bag to pull out your phone, immediately wanting to call Robin to tell her the good news.

The line rings three times before she picks up, her voice already eager to hear what you had to say.

“Well? Did you get it? Did you get the job?” she babbles out.

“I got the job!” you tell her, beaming with happiness and a wide smile spreading across your face.

You have to hold your phone away from your ear slightly as the sound of enthusiastic screams from your best friend echo down the line.

“I knew you would get it! I told you!” she exclaims, with a cheerful laugh. “Get back here and I’ll treat you to a celebratory drink in The Hideout!” 

“You’re on, Buckley. I’ll see you there.” you say as you end the phone call and begin to make your way back into Hawkins.

“Right, I just got off the phone with Y/n” Robin says, pulling Eddie closer. “So that gives you about an hour and a half to make sure everything is ready to go for when she gets here, okay?”

“Relax, Buckley. I know the plan. I worked it out myself, I’ll have you know.” Eddie replies confidently.

“Okay, so when she gets here, I’m going to bring her in, get a drink with her at the bar, and then you and your boys are on, got it?” She reiterates the plan once more, going through it, making sure every last detail goes as it should.

“Got it.” Eddie nods, his shaggy curls bouncing as he does, before turning to go set up things on the stage.

“Oh! Eddie?” Robin calls out to him. “Good luck.” she smiles giving him a thumbs up.

He rewards her with a thumbs up of his own before setting up the stage with the rest of Corroded Coffin.

You walk into the already busy and bustling Hideout, and surely enough Robin is there to greet you with wide open arms.

“There she is! The girl of the hour” she smiles, bringing you into a squeezing tight hug. “I knew you’d nail it”

“Thanks Rob!” you nod.

“Now how about I buy you a celebratory beer?” 

“Sounds perfect to me.” 

You take the time to enjoy a quiet drink with your friend on a Friday evening, catching up with each other, and just talking about everything and anything.

“Y’know, Eddie’s performing with his band in a bit, shall we head down to the stage to watch him?”

You can’t help the butterflies that flutter in your stomach at the mention of his name.

You link your arm around Robin’s and make your way over to the seats in front of the stage.

The guitars, drum kit and microphone stand are already wired and set up, as Eddie and the rest of the band make their way on to the stage.

He looks every inch the rockstar you know he is, with his beloved Dio vest thrown over a dark Judas Priest t-shirt. Ripped black jeans and a pair of black DMs complete his look.  He saunters up to the microphone as he slings his crackled red and black guitar across his body.

“Good evening everyone!” he shouts out to the small gathered crowd, earning him a few cheers “I hope everyone’s having a great day! We are Corroded Coffin, and tonight we are here to make your Friday a little bit more metal.” he rasps as he leans into the microphone with a slight chuckle.

Eddie and the rest of the band launch into their set list, playing a few songs from Black Sabbath, Motörhead, and Metallica. His voice is perfectly gravelly and low as he plays along with the rest of the band perfectly.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to change things up a little.” he says putting his electric guitar on the stand and reaching for his acoustic guitar and taking a seat on a bar stool that had been placed on stage.

“I’ve recently had someone very special come back into my life, and she's amazing, and beautiful and if I'm being honest, totally out of my league..” he chuckles, earning a few laughs from his audience “so I'd like to dedicate this final song to her.”

The rest of the band take a backseat, as Eddie takes centre stage with the spot-light hitting him, illuminating him in a soft golden glow. 

Eddie’s fingers start to pluck the strings of his guitar in perfect rhythm, and suddenly you find yourself turning to Robin with wide eyes when you immediately recognise the opening notes of Whitney Houston’s Saving All My Love For You.  Your favourite song. The song that you had shared with Eddie all those years ago.

Eddie’s raspy voice joins in, the song being slowed and pitched down slightly, perfectly arranged and to fit the slow romantic vibe of the song.

You watch him intently, with the biggest smile on your face, and when his gaze catches yours in the middle of the crowd he gives you a small wink and a smile, letting you know that he sees you, and every word he’s singing is meant for you and nobody else.

The song ends, and applause is heard all around as Eddie puts his guitar down and leans into the microphone one final time.

“Thank you everyone, you’ve been a wonderful audience, and you guys enjoy the rest of your evening.” 

You turn to Robin as you watch Eddie make his way off stage.

“I’m gonna go see him.” you smile before running off to find Eddie.

“Go get your man, girl!” you hear Robin cheer as you 

“Eddie!!” you shout out as you sprint your way to him before colliding your body with his and wrapping your arms around him in the tightest hug you can manage. You feel him return your affections as he slips his arms around you and places a kiss to the crown of your head.

You pull away from him, although you find his hands holding their place on your hips.

“You sang my favourite song.” your voice comes out as no more than a whisper as your emotions catch up with you.

He’s bashful under your gaze, his cheeks blooming with a pink flush. 

“I did.” Eddie nods. “There’s this girl I really like and I kinda wanted to impress her.” he chuckles, as his eyes flick down to your lips. “I also wanted to ask her if she would be my girlfriend.” he flashes you that cheeky boyish smile that you’ve come to love. “So, Y/n, Sweetheart, will you be my girl?”

“Yes!” you smile up at him, your heart bursting with love.

“There’s another thing I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Eddie nodded as he looked at you with those beautiful, big brown eyes.

“Oh?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You rise up on your tip-toes to meet him, kissing him with a soft peck to his lips.

“Indeed you can.” you smirk at him, as you pull away from his lips, only to feel him pull you close to his body.

He presses his lips against yours, one of his hands holds steady on your hips and the other weaves its way into your hair, as he kisses you with all the passion that he has for you. Warmth bloomed in your chest at the gentle brush of Eddie’s lips on yours. Kissing him made you feel dizzy, like a million butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Kissing Eddie just felt right. Like you were always meant to be together like this.

You part from his lips breathlessly with a smile.

“In case it wasn’t already obvious, I love you, have done for a while if I’m being totally honest.” Eddie confesses, his lips curling up in a matching smile.

“I love you too, Eddie.” you nod, taking your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. “I love you a lot, actually.”

When Eddie had helped you after you had broken down on that cold and rainy road on the outskirts of Hawkins, fleeing from heartbreak, you never could have imagined that it would lead to this, but you’re glad it did. Forever thankful to your metal-head in shining leather who helped fix your broken car, and helped to mend your broken heart. 

@penguinsandpotterheads @slutty-thevampireslayer @xxhellfirebunnyxx@mmunson86 @avalon-wolf @ali-r3n @jesssssmaybankk @munsonology

[redolentgrove]

(@sonder-palms) Alyse adjusted their glasses more properly before they hesitantly approached Khione. Admiring the taur's beautiful dress had made them wish they brought something fancier to wear- then again they hadn't planned to visit Faraway Island.

"You said your half-sister is a mew? She did a beautiful job on your dress, it must've taken a long time to make!" Alyse beamed happily. "What's it like having a legendary pokemon in your family?…"

They touched their pointer fingers together, a little nervous about asking. "I-if you want to talk about it, you don't have to."

Oh crap, a human. Do I run? No... they don't seem hostile.

The Aurorustaur's eyes watched Alyse's approach, keeping a nervous gaze on her face. She sniffed the air around the human a bit, noticing... a calm aroma around them. She lowered her guard slightly, nodding the closer they got to her, listening to them speak.

A Mew? They must have overheard Loki talk about Shania. But... I do have a legendary in the family... do I talk about him? Why not... they don't seem to pose a threat, and they don't know anything about where I live. Sure. It'll be good to talk about. She snapped back to reality just as Alyse touched pointer fingers and made their last remark.

"Huh? Me?" The dinosaur's head tilted in confusion. "Oh, nonono," she stammered, waving her hands at the human's question, "that's Loki that has the Mew in her family, not me. Though, uh... thank you for the compliments on my dress... you'd have to send your regards to Master Izotz for that one. He's a Chien-Pao, an incredibly gifted tailor and a distant cousin, about uh..." The Aurorustaur counted on her fingers for a moment. "...maybe eight or nine times removed? Either way we share a common Chien-Pao ancestor in his great, great, great, great, great..." She counted once again. "....great, great-grandfather."

"I wouldn't say it's really anything earth-shattering having a legendary in the family, though." Khione seemed rather nonchalant about the whole thing. "At least, Master Izotz doesn't really put too much stock into it, anyway. He's just content being a Pokemon like everyone else, and doing what he can to help family, friends, and neighbours. I don't subscribe to the whole 'legendary worship' tenet, but I know so many do. Like my friend Bijoux; she's Loki's daughter and she goes bonkers when she meets a legendary for the first time. I think she's got a bucket list to meet them all, between you and me, heh..."

The dinosaur cleared her throat, shaking her head. "I... uh, don't usually talk to humans this long, but you seem nice enough. I just hope I didn't make any sort of bad impression by talking too much; I haven't been very lucky in party set-"

"Khione! You made a friend! Thatta girl! I knew you'd be fine out here!"

The ice-type's head whipped behind her to see Loki strolling forward to meet her, the hybrid bowing gently toward Alyse. "Ah, hello... Khione, I didn't expect you to befriend a human!"

"Oh uh, well, I dunno, they commented on my dress and asked about a Mew in the family. You just caught us mid-conversation, really I never really got a chance to ask their name or double-check pronouns or any ot that."

"Oh, did they overhear us talking about my half-sister Shania? Heh... funny how you keep getting caught up in these things, Khione. Well, it can't be helped. I'm going to head over to the lantern send-off station; come join me when you're done."

"Okay." The tauric dino watched Loki strut away from her and Alyse, watching her leafy tail wag before snapping back to earth and offering the human her right hand. "Right, uh... as you probably heard, I'm Khione. I'd better get to the lantern stations; if you'd like to tag along you're welcome to. Just, er... before I go, you know, I should probably ask for your name. And make sure saying 'they' about you wasn't rude or anything."

(( @sonder-palms ))

[ometochtli2rabbit]

MAYA:

13.0.12.9.5

junlajun[11] CHICCHAN[sky serpent]/KA'AN[serpent] - ox[3] UO

galactic tone: resolution/ dissonant structure

sun sign: SERPENT| snake/red/east

ask for flexibility and fluidity

NAHUA:

mahtlactli-once[11] - COATL [snake]

Chalmecatecutli | Chalchihuitlicue

alo[scarlet macaw]

lord of the night: Itztli

trecena[11]: Xochiquetzal

x: ome[2]-xocolhuetzi

"The Tailor Returning Home", Beatrix Potter, 1902.

"Home Chores", Jacob Lawrence, 1945.

As today is Earth Day, here are songs that reflect what this planet is to all of us, HOME:

Grand Funk Railroad: Closer to Home (I'm Your Captain)

John Denver: Take Me Home, Country Roads

Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam: I Wonder If I Take You Home

FKA Twigs: home with you

Olivia Rodrigo: Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl

Gil Scott-Heron: Home is Where the Hatred Is

Loretta Lynn: Don't Come A-Drinkin'(With Lovin' on Your Mind)

Dua Lipa: Homesick

Lumineers: Long Way from Home

beabadoobee: Coming Home

Tame Impala: Music to Walk Home By

Julien Baker: Go Home

Taylor Swift: Girl at Home

LCD Soundsystem: Home

Crystal Waters: Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)

The Descendents: Suburban Home

Aurora: Home

Motley Crue: Home Sweet Home

Toni Braxton: Love Shoulda Brought You Home

Adele: Hometown Glory

Merle Haggard: Sing Me Back Home

Halsey: Hometown

Blind Faith: Can't Find My Way Home

Lorde: Homemade Dynamite

P!nk: Walk Me Home

Rage Against The Machine: New Millenium Homes

MARINA: Homewrecker

Supertramp: Take the Long Way Home

Mitski: Drunk Walk Home

Eddie Money ft, Ronnie Spector: Take Me Home Tonight

Arctic Monkeys: Still Take You Home

Phil Collins: Take Me Home

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama

Shania Twain: Honey, I'm Home

Simon and Garfunkel: Homeward Bound

Luther Vandross: A House is Not a Home

Green Day: Welcome to Paradise & Homecoming

Ozzy Osbourne: Mama, I'm Coming Home

Waylon Jennings: Long Way from Home

The Smiths: Barbarism Begins at Home

Bruce Springsteen: Long Walk Home

Sam Cooke: Bring It on Home to Me

Bob Dylan: Subterranean Homesick Blues

The Cure: Homesick

Jackson 5: Coming Home

Metallica: Welcome Home (Sanitarium)

Nirvana: Sliver

The Clash: Safe European Home

Pink Floyd: Nobody Home & Bring the Boys Back Home

Depeche Mode: Home

Guns N' Roses: Paradise City

Lana Del Rey: Paris, Texas

Led Zeppelin: Bring it On Home

The Beatles: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da & Two of Us & She's Leaving Home & When I Get Home

Robert Johnson: Sweet Home Chicago

[jcrdyflores]

[  isabela merced.  cis woman.  she/her.  muse 28.  ]  welcome  back  to  montclair  university,  jordana ‘jordy’  mariana  flores  !  according  to  your  student  file  you're  a  TWENTY ONE  year  old  JUNIOR,  studying  MARINE BIOLOGY,  and  funny  enough  you  were  voted  most likely to discover at atlantis  your  senior  year  of  high  school  back  home  in  NEW ORLEANS, LA.  i  can  totally  see  it  with  your  self confident,  enigmatic  and  stubborn  personality  !  but  enough  about  that  —  i  heard  you  were  lizzie  harrington's  FLING.  makes  sense  when  you  take  into  consideration  your  status  as  a  scholarship  student…  and  the  fact  that  you're  hiding  [ redacted ].  you're  often  seen  at  the wandering page,  and  you  kind  of  embody  the ache of wishing for something you can never have, floral perfume lingering behind, bad decisions with good intentions, making tea for the ceremony of it but living off of coffee, and hand embroidered jean jackets…  not  to  mention  people  always  seem  to  hum  that don’t impress me much (international mix)  by  shania twain  when  you're  around,  but  you'll  always  be  known  on  campus  as  THE  ICARIAN  who  enjoys  gaming  and  has  10k  instagram  followers…  good  luck  this  semester  !

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 . . .

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: jordana mariana flores

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄(𝐒): jordy, dana, dani, mari

𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: june 2nd

𝐀𝐆𝐄: 21

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍: scooby ( 4 year old, boxer mix ) & murphy ( 2 year old, blue french bulldog ) both back home in louisiana

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌: angel in blue jeans by train, remix (i like the) by nkotb, pink pony club by chappell roan, gasolina by daddy yankee, behind these hazel eyes (techno version) by way 2 hard & hyper bear, please please please by sabrina carpenter, truck bed by hardy, need you tonight by inxs

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘. . .

Born to a single mother, brought up on a host of stories of what her birth father was like but never who he was. Despite the echo of emptiness Jordana felt at times, when she saw others with their fathers, she never wanted for anything growing up with her mother. In fact, with only the knowledge that her father wanted nothing to do with her, Jordy never even thought of looking for the man.

With the various pseudo parental influences in her background, Jordy grew up with a well rounded personality. She learned to charm the socks off of anyone she met from the former actress down the street, and developed a love for reading thanks to the librarian who recommended a number of books to her over the years. She learned how to hotwire a car from a mechanic, and how to play chess from the older neighbor across the street. Her friend circle in school was eclectic to a fold, gathering people from all walks of life into her group and befriending even more outside of it.

Her love for the ocean and aquatic life in general stemmed from hundreds of trips to the local aquarium throughout her adolescence, somewhat of an escape for her during harder times her in life. She wanted worked there in a lower tier position for a few years during high school before she got accepted into Montclair and moved away.

She loves the college, and adores the friends she’s made since moving to campus. Though the recent death of Lizzie has rocked her a bit. She knew her, and she hates to think that someone she goes to school with could be capable of something like this.

Currently, on top of working on her marine biology degree (and a master’s in her sights after graduation), she has a decent following thanks in part to her fledgling gaming channel on youtube and comic series that she posts periodically on instagram. Truly, she’s just trying to live her life . . . but does she have something worse to worry about now?

AESTHETICS: overwatering plants as symbolism for loving to the point of suffocation • perfect lipstick smudged after a night out • a good heart wounded too many times • sweet drinks that make the memories foggier • “women who run in high heels should be feared” • trinkets decorating the apartment to make it feel more homey • making tea for the ceremony of it but living off of coffee • that adrenaline high and uncontrollable giggles at 3am • dancing in the kitchen • the taste of champagne but preference for cheap wine • hopeful romantic with a flirty grin • rips in jeans patched up with colorful swatches • worn books from reading over and over again • quirky chess sets . . .

[raymond-shields]

Hey, Who’s There?

Welcome to the Edgeworth Law Offices! You commit ‘em, we acquit em!

…okay, my secretary says we can’t use that. Welcome to the Edgeworth Law Offices!

I’m Ray Shields and I’m back from Europe, ready to attend- uh- defend your every need! Pleased to meet ya!

Character Info

Name: Raymond Jake Shields

Default Age: 36

Birthdate: 31st August 1982

Gender/Pronouns: male, he/him

Relationship Status: single

Additional Info

I am open to other verses - I used to have a couple, including a villain verse etc. I’m down to play any of them! I’m open to any age-appropriate ships, and also for NSFW as long as you’ve got your age listed!

I also HC Ray’s time in Europe as him being in England, because I live there and it’s easier for me.

Also, I’ll only be using Raymond Shields. I’m not calling him Eddie Fender I just can’t!

Admin Info

Name: Za

Age: 28

Pronouns: they/he

I’ve been RPing for years, and as Ray for 4ish years starting back in 2018! I have a shitton of headcanons for him that I’m slowly starting to remember! I don’t always reply super fast since I work full time, but I’m here!

I have a lot of OCs in Ray’s verse- see below-

In-Verse OCs

Elly Knight: Ray’s long-suffering secretary. 38, married to Shania and mother to Lottie. She’s the backbone of the office, honestly. He’d be lost without her and he fully admits this. She’s kind and fun but sensible, doesn’t take nonsense from anyone. Takes her coffee with oat milk.

Dorian Kasparian: Paid intern, future paralegal. 22, Armenian-American, devoted to his siblings. He’s loud, confident, and sometimes doesn’t know when to shut up. He’s Ivy’s best friend, and is obsessed with early 2000s music. He’s 5’6” and completely at peace with it. Truly.

Ivy McCormick: Paid intern, future paralegal. 21, Irish-American, very shy, but very dedicated their work. They get on well with Elly, and want to be more outspoken but lack confidence. They’re 5’10” and have a photographic memory. They’re building a tattoo sleeve based off Irish plants.

Isaiah Shields: Ray’s father. Died aged 30 (in the usual verse). Youngest of 5 siblings, worked as a mechanic during the day, bartender at night, and always wanted to be a musician. He was a very devoted father, always trying to make up for the absence of his wife, Ray’s mother, after her death.

[pcwpolwrestling]

Replay: PCW Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, Ohio Taped Tuesday November 3rd, 2020 Thursday December 31st, 2020

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

SHOW OPEN The crowd starts out with a “PCW! PCW!” chant to start the show.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave comes out with a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain and says, “Welcome to PCW- Loose Cannons LOCK AND LOAD!”

The crowd continues the “PCW” chant- much to the annoyance of Suave’s real life co-host Colleen Crowder.

Johnny Suave: “We are coming to you tonight from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon in Wauseon, Ohio at the northeast corner of the intersection of Airport Highway and Shoop Avenue,” Suave continues.  “I am Johnny Suave. This hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain and tonight we find out who will be the PCW CEO for the next four years- current PCW CEO Donald Trump (American Patriots) or challenger Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance).”

Crowder glares at and then elbows Suave in the side at the omission of her introduction.

Suave responds in the most unenthusiastic way possible.

Johnny Suave: “Oh.  And this is Colleen Crowder- a low level New York Times reporter trying to make a name for herself.”

Colleen Crowder: “Really?  Do you have to say it like that?”

Suave ignores her and quickly moves on.  He introduces a video clip from 2016’s Extreme Election Night when Trump defeated the Progressive Alliance’s Hillary Clinton.

(REPLAY: Extreme Election Night 2016- Donald Trump (American Patriots) vs. Hillary Clinton (Progressive Alliance) -It’s not looking good for Trump. 

The mainstream media and the Washington DC establishment have interjected themselves into this match at every opportunity including Don Lemon of CNN, the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson and Dana Milbank, and the New York Times’s David Brooks and Paul Krugman.  Even some members of the American Patriots, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, former Jeb Bush, and Mitt Romney charge the ring on Clinton’s behalf and a huge scrum explodes.  Trump finds himself swallowed up by a mass of humanity as members of each group literally throw each other out of the way to get to him.

Cut to Paul Ryan.  He’s whistling while he ever so subtly tries to inch away from the ring, hoping that no one can see him subtly trying to inch away from the ring.   Mitch McConnell?  He’s gone from ringside and nowhere to be found.  The rest of the establishment?  Sitting in their seats reading the Wall Street Journal or on their phones making plans for their golf getaway.

Then…

-Deplorables ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Charlie Blackwell stream to the ring followed by forty other people.  Bryan hops up on the ring apron.  He drapes Dana Milbank’s neck over the top rope and drops to the floor causing the Washington Post columnist to whiplash off the ropes and onto his back.  McAvay wields a Big Bertha Driver and takes down Chuck Schumer (Progressive Alliance) and Lindsay Graham (American Patriots).  Mitt Romney sees McAvay using the driver to pole axe his way through the crowd.  He wisely uses discretion and decides to slip out of the ring.  Blackwell jumps into the ring wielding a steel folding chair and starts taking people out left and right: Paul Krugman, Don Lemon, and Jeb Bush.

The American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and media contingent still in the ring decide to hastily exit stage right leaving just Trump, Hillary, McAvay, Blackwell, Bryan, and the forty-odd Deplorables inside.

Blackwell and McAvay re-station themselves outside the ring and the Les Miserables surrounding the squared circle.  The ring steadily clears and when it does, leaving just Trump and Hillary inside, there’s an unpleasant realization for one side.

Johnny Suave: FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!

Clinton eventually has to submit to Trump’s figure four leg lock submission and Trump becomes the new PCW CEO.

Crowder complains… again… that Russian referee Corrina Romanov interceded on Trump’s behalf and cost Hillary Clinton the match.

“Who will leave here tonight as the CEO of PCW?,” Suave continues, again ignoring Crowder.  “Will Donald Trump (American Patriots) book himself another four year stint at the top of the political universe?  Or will Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance) put an end to Trump’s run and take PCW in a different direction?”

Colleen jumps in to point out polls indicate that Joe Biden will win tonight and win very easily.

Johnny Suave: “Because your polls was so correct four years ago.”

Suave then eats another elbow from Crowder.

The entrance music brings out the owner of PCW Dawn McGill as she makes her first appearance of the evening, much to the enthusiastic fanfare of the overwhelming majority inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

But not Colleen…

Colleen Crowder: “She’s the real problem! She just doesn’t get it.”

The camera pans around the arena.  First…

The Deplorables/Les Miserables section of the bar: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, McAvay’s wife and one half of the famed West Texas Adult Entertainment duo Dark and Stormy, Stacee (Dark) Perry.  Paige ‘Stormy’ Reynolds is also there along with Bert the Janitor and General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs- all on their feet cheering wildly.

Colleen Crowder: “And so are they. They’re the problem too!”

Next…

The Conservative Inc. section, the American Patriots/Never Trumpers/country club set (Bill Kristol.  Charlie Sykes.  Jonah Goldberg. David French.  Tom Nichols.  David Reaboi.  Jennifer Rubin.  David Brooks, Ben Sasse, Mitt Romney, Rick Wilson, George Conway, John Kasich. and S.E. Cupp)- are on their feet as well but not cheering all that wildly.

Finally…

Then there’s Progressive Alliance section.  Professor McCarthy waves his ‘good book’ (the good book that tells us things that are correct or incorrect to say, think, or believe) in the air while his Flock- The Green World Order (Peta from PETA, GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, and PeaceNick), the Young Jerks (Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and Anna- the foul-mouthed sidekick), the Deep State (One and Two), Emily S. List, and Code Pink- all sit in their seats not happy to see McGill step out on stage.

McGill smiles and acknowledges the crowd.

Her smile goes away the second Nancy Pelosi (Progressive Alliance) and Mitch McConnell (American Patriots) walk out and join her.

COMPROMISE AGREEMENT Dawn has a microphone.

Dawn McGill: “WELCOME EVERYONE TO P-C-W’S EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020!”

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

McGill proclaims PCW is back and the faithful jammed inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon cheer her on.

Crowd: “Thank you Dawn (clap clap clap-clap-clap)!  Thank you Dawn (clap clap clap-clap-clap)!”

Dawn McGill: “This show belongs to YOU!  The people!  This show is made by the people for you- the people!”

More wild cheers and thunderous applause.

Next, she tells the PCW faithful that she needs to make a quick announcement before Extreme Election Night 2020 gets under way.

McGill surprises many in the crowd when she announces that she’s reached a compromise agreement with Pelosi and McConnell and Joe Biden and Donald Trump will NOT wrestle each other in the main event tonight.  Cue boos.  McGill herself does not look all that pleased at this development either.

“Tonight’s main event will be ‘Stars N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott of the American Patriots with Donald Trump in his corner versus ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels from the Progressive Alliance with Joe Biden in his corner versus Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition for the PCW Title,” McGill explains.

Suave wonders if Mitch McConnell (KY-American Patriots) sold out Donald Trump by agreeing to the compromise agreement?

Dawn McGill: “Per the terms and conditions agreed to with Ms. Pelosi and Mr. McConnell, the PCW CEO will be named after the match in the same way it used to be- by the owner of PCW which in this case. . .”

McGill turns to Pelosi and McConnell and smirks.

Dawn McGill: “. . . is me.”

Pelosi’s smile suddenly goes away.

The crowd again expresses their support of Dawn McGill.

Crowder protests.  Suave points out that former owner Bubba Jackson was the one who chose Barack Obama not once but twice.  “I’m sure Dawn McGill can make a well-reasoned and fair decision here.  I trust her a lot more than would trust your colleagues,” Suave declared.

Yeah, that doesn’t go over well.  But before Crowder can work up enough righteous indignation to respond…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

VOICES OF ‘REASON’ …CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter come out and walk to the ring and gives the PCW fans a chance to express their righteous indignation.

Colleen Crowder: “It’s about time voices of reason come out and set these idiots straight.”

Tapper and Stelter both climb in.

Tapper reassures Crowder that ‘she’s not alone’ in having to put up with people who are unable to accept reality.

Jake Tapper: “There are some people that are so mendacious, I wouldn’t put them on the air, period.  Like Kayleigh McEnany…”

Stelter shakes his head and mutters “she’s the worst.”

Jake Tapper: “These are just people who tell lies the way that most people breathe-”

*WHAM!*

Crowd pop.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  IT’S KAYLEIGH McENANY!”

And her steel folding chair.  The crowd roars as Tapper falls to the floor.   Stelter turns around and…

*WHAM!*

…he’s face down on the mat.

More crowd popping follows and causes Crowder to become even more indignant.

Colleen Crowder: “SHE CAN’T DO THAT!”

A referee suddenly races down to the ring.

Colleen Crowder: “WHAT?”

Johnny Suave: “WE’VE GOT AN IMPROMPTU MATCH!”

Colleen Crowder: “NOOOOOO!”

*****************************

MATCH #1-HANDICAP MATCH

Trump Spokesperson Kayleigh McEnaney vs. CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter

*****************************

**DING-DING**

Both Tapper and Stelter remain on the mat.

Jim Acosta runs in…

*WHAM!*

…and joins them.

Don Lemon rushes down…

*WHAM!*

…yep, same result.

Kaitlan Collins…

*WHAM!*

…down and out.

Johnny Suave: “HERE COMES JEFF ZUCKER!”

The President of CNN rolls into the ring.  He’s pissed and starts shouting at McEnaney.

The result?

*WHAM!*

Zucker finds himself careening through the ropes to the outside.

Crowder goes full on apoplectic now.  “SHE CAN’T DO THAT!” she shouts at the top of her lungs.

McEnaney throws the chair down and drags Tapper on top of Stelter.  She sticks her foot on top of the pile.

ONE.

TWO.

THREE!

**DING-DING-DING**

WINNER: Kayleigh McEnaney @ :30

Johnny Suave: “Kayleigh McEnaney just wiped out CNN!”

McEnaney grabs the microphone.  She calls what just happened tonight “a therapy session for a broken network” Then McEnaney drops the chair and leaves.

Colleen Crowder: “Kayleigh McEnaney doesn’t get to determine what the truth is- that’s our job.  We determine the truth.  We determine the narrative.  We determine the news the people need to see.  We determine the way that the people should react.”

Johnny Suave: “Just like pro wrestling.”

Suave winks.  Colleen just glares at her broadcast partner.

Johnny Suave: “That’s the problem.  Most people would rather you just report the news and let us figure out how we feel about it.”

Crowder starts to respond.  Suave cuts her off and runs down the rest of the card for tonight.

ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance)

MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance)

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE FACTION WAR GAMES HOUSE MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Deplorables: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) vs.  ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)

MAIN EVENT/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels vs. ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

Finally, either Donald Trump  or Joe Biden will be chosen to become the CEO of PCW for the next four years.

Crowder says all the ingredients are there for a blue wave to sweep through PCW.  Suave responds that we’ll find that out soon enough and sends it back to the ring for the second match of the night.

*******************************

MATCH #2-ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH:

Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance)

*******************************

McSally returns after losing two years ago to Krysten Sinema at Extreme Election Night 2018.  Can she pick up her first PCW win over former astronaut, and husband to Gabrielle Giffords, Mark Kelly?  Or will Kelly continue the recent trend of Progressive Alliance wins in Arizona?

**DING-DING**

Johnny Suave: “And we are underway!”

Kelly and McSally circle.  Wicked chop hits McSally and then she takes a headbutt from Kelly.  Whip to the ropes – scoop slam to McSally by Kelly.  Another whip to the ropes – McSally ducks – off the opposite ropes – Kelly evades a right hand – belly to back suplex to McSally.  Cover.  McSally kicks out.  Kelly with a headlock – McSally reverses and takes down Kelly.  McSally waits – and spears Kelly to the mat.  Cover One – two – kick out.  Waistlock by McSally – Kelly reverses and takes McSally down with a judo takeover.  Leg drop by Kelly.  Cover.  One – two – NO!  McSally gets the shoulder up.  Kelly drags McSally up and pops her with a steel folding chairshot.   McSally looks done.  Kelly hooks the leg.  One – two – NO!  McSally kicks out before the 3.

Colleen Crowder: “That’s it!  I’m calling the match for Mark Kelly!”

Johnny Suave: “The match is not even remotely close to being finished-“

Colleen Crowder: “Nope!  It’s over!”

Kelly swings the chair again – McSally dodges.  She goes springboard off the ropes and kicks the chair into Kelly’s face.  Right hand by McSally drops her and the fans fire up!  Kelly back up – McSally with a waistlock.  Kelly escapes – but runs into a roll up.  One – two – Kelly slips out in time and then decks McSally with a front kick.  Cover.  One – two – NO!  McSally gets her shoulder up in time.  McSally goes to the ropes and rushes at the champion.  Kelly greets her with a chop that literally takes McSally right off her feet!  McSally scrambles up – Kelly measures and SUPERKICK!  McSally collapses to the mat.  Cover.  One – two – NO!   And then a spinning knee from Kelly and again, McSally is down.  One – two – NO!  McSally miraculously escapes again.   Kelly reels McSally in, but McSally wrenches free, only for Kelly to waistlock, spin and LARIAT!  Hook of the the legs.  One – two – NOOOOOOO!

Johnny Suave: “McSally kicked out at the very last second!  It’s not over yet!”

Colleen Crowder: “Nope.  We’ve already called it.  The match is over.”

Shaking his head, Kelly methodically rolls out of the ring and pulls a table out from under.  He sets the table up in the ring and brings McSally back to her feet – McSally fights out of a grapple and chops Kelly.  Arm drag takedown by McSally and she goes top rope. Then…

Johnny Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE!  THAT’S ARIZONA SECRETARY OF STATE KATIE HOBBS!”

Hobbs (Progressive Alliance) to ringside.  She goes to McSally and shoves her off the top rope.  McSally flies and goes through a table.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Now it’s Kelly’s turn.  Kelly sets McSally up on his back. Gory Special sends McSally face first to the mat and shook the ring.  Kelly covers.  One….two….THREE!!

WINNER OF ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) @ 7:54

The referee hands Kelly the medallion.

Johnny Suave: “McSally did everything she could.  Katie Hobbs’s interference helped swing the match to Mark Kelly.”

Crowder is blatantly cheering on the result.  She’s going full on gloat.

Colleen Crowder: “What did I tell you Johnny?  We called the match and we were right!  Blue Wave baby, Blue Wave!  First Martha McSally, next Lindsey Graham.”

Suave expresses skepticism about Graham losing tonight.

Colleen Crowder: “The polls and our narrative say Graham’s going down.”

CALIFORNIA DREAMING California Governor Gavin Newsom.  No mask.  Dining out with some ‘friends’ inside a swanky restaurant while normal Californians are subjected to strict guidelines against large gatherings and ‘staying home.’

Newsom makes a plea for Joe Biden to bring PCW to California.

Suave notes that Dawn McGill is on record as stating that as long as she’s the owner, PCW will never set foot in California.

Gavin Newsom: “Joe.  When you win later on tonight and become the new PCW CEO, don’t forget that California is open for business!”

In the background, an endless parade of moving trucks pass by.

Newsom says forget holding PCW shows in rednecky bars out in the middle of Nowheresville USA-California is the place PCW should be.  He hails California as the home of Silicon Valley, Hollywood, the Pacific Coast, Disneyworld-

Johnny Suave: “Closed.  Employees laid off.”

Gavin Newsom: “And-“

Johnny Suave: “Choking regulations that is driving business out of the state.”

Several moving trucks honk as they drive past.

Suave also notes an average California home costs $440,000 (two–and–a–half times the average national home price of $180,000) and that the average monthly rent is about $1,240 (50 percent higher than the rest of the country-$840 per month).

Behind Newsom, Elon Musk looks at him with disgust.  Then he leaves and hops on a moving truck.

Gavin Newsom: “With all that, it’s no wonder that California is the place to be.  So come to California, PCW.  And, oh, make sure you bring your checkbook…”

Suddenly, the electricity goes out and the restaurant is left in total darkness.

Gavin Newsom: “…so you too can live the California dream!”

*********************************

MATCH #3- SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH:

Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance)

*********************************

Colleen Crowder: “Our polls say that Lindsey Graham is in trouble.  I predict he’ll fall before the big Blue Wave that’s coming!”

Johnny Suave: “Well?  We’ll find out in just a moment. Will this be Lindsey Graham’s biggest battle yet?  Will Jaime Harrison bring the South Carolina Medallion to the Progressive Alliance?”

…Harrison goes waistlock – Graham elbows him away!  He drives his shoulder into Harrison’s gut and drives him into the corner turnbuckle.  Graham then with a forearm shot and runs at Harrison again – shoulder into the stomach topples him over.  Cover.  One – TWO!

Johnny Suave: “Harrison kicks out.  But the surprise here is just how tenacious Lindsey Graham has been tonight about defending his South Carolina Medallion.”

Crowder calls Graham’s effort noble but futile. She still maintains that Harrison will win.

Graham doesn’t let up.  Hip toss sends Harrison to the middle of the ring.  Cover – One – TWO!  Again Harrison kicks out. This time he rakes Graham’s eyes and whips him into the corner.

Colleen Crowder: “Here we go!  Jaime Harrison is going to-“

Graham counters with a raised foot to the face.  Graham waits – he launches himself at Harrison –LARIAT!  Cover.  One – two – THREE!

WINNER OF SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) @ 3:15

Johnny Suave: “And the answer is no.  Crowder was not correct and Lindsey Graham wins comfortably.”

Suave turns to Colleen for her take on the match.

Colleen Crowder: “The match isn’t over yet, Johnny.  We haven’t called it yet.”

Johnny Suave: “The referee just made the three count.  It’s over.”

Colleen Crowder: “Nope.  It’s not until we call it and say it’s over.”

JOE BIDEN INTERVIEW Shaking his head, Suave moves on.  He recounts Extreme Election Night 2008 and 2012 where the then-owner of PCW came out after the main event and announced who would be the PCW CEO for the next four years.

VIDEO REPLAY: –2008.  PCW Owner Bubba Jackson names Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) as the winner and new CEO of PCW.  He shakes hands with his opponent John McCain (American Patriots).

-2012.  Jackson again names Obama as the winner.   Obama’s opponent Mitt Romney (American Patriots) walks over and shakes hands with the returning PCW CEO.

Johnny Suave: “Then in 2016 after Dawn McGill took over ownership of PCW, Donald Trump defeated Hillary Clinton inside the ring to succeed Barack Obama.  But tonight, we return to the old way.

Cut to: Outside Dawn McGill’s office.

Inside Dawn’s office.  The Progressive Alliance’s Joe Biden.

Johnny Suave: During Extreme Election Night, the candidate is interviewed by the PCW owner.

The door opens.  Biden and his candidate for Aide de Camp Kamala Harris emerges from McGIll’s office.

There’s a perfunctory handshake between McGill and Biden just outside her office that seems more than a little bit awkward.

Then Biden goes to the podium to talk briefly to his supporters.  There’s eight of them on hand- socially distanced standing in appropriately separated circles.

Biden gives a brief statement and ends with…

Joe Biden: “We’re going to build back…um…to make better…changes so we can…change for the… better.”

He also added.

Joe Biden: “TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE!”

Scattered applause.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

Colleen Crowder: Ladies and gentlemen.  This is your next PCW CEO!

Johnny Suave: Next in to see PCW Owner Dawn McGill- the current CEO of Political Championship Wrestling, Donald Trump.

Crowder gives a thumbs-down to Trump and ‘boos.’

Cut back to outside Dawn McGill’s office.

TRUMP INTERVIEW Following Trump’s interview with McGill, he and his Aide de Camp Mike Pence exit her office- both smiling.

Trump and McGill share a more effusive handshake, again everyone all smiles.

Trump then goes to the podium and addresses the enthusiastic two hundred and fifty people who’ve crowded into a very tight area to hear him speak.

Colleen Crowder: Really?  Where’s the social distancing?  Where’s the masks?  This is irresponsible.

Trump gives his breif remarks and ends with…

Donald Trump: We are one movement, one people, and one family!  Together we will make PCW great again!

Big cheers follow.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

Johnny Suave: “So Colleen, how’s that Blue Wave coming along?”

Colleen Crowder: “Shut up!  The night isn’t over yet and we still haven’t called the Lindsey Graham-Jaime Harrison match.”

Johnny Suave: “I’ll make it easy for you. Graham has the medallion.  He won.  Harrison lost.”

Colleen Crowder: “But we didn’t call it-“

THE AMERICAN PATRIOT BOX Quick cut to the American Patriots’ box.  The Coke Brothers-Charles and David, financiers and mover and shaker of the American Patriots, glares towards the ring from his suite.  He plucks his phone from a suit pocket and punches in a number.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE BOXQuick cut to the Progressive Alliance box.  George Moros, big money spender and mover and shaker in the Progressive Alliance, has a sour look on his face as well.

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH TIME Suave announces it’s time for the big three-way PCW Tag Team Title match.

First team out…

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Pop. Big…big pop.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd erupts when the video screen shows the door to a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

Colleen Crowder (voiceover): What do you mean it’s time? It’s time for what?

The door opens and eight male bodyguards walk out of the dressing room encircling a petite 95 pound woman and her executive assistant Melissa in the middle. The woman, dressed in a smart, dark business suit and heels, is busy talking on her cell phone.   Melissa furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring followed by P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

A huge roar greets the procession as it emerges from the back onto the stage and starts their way down the ramp.  Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as the ‘Queen of Greed’ Jill Berg walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.

Berg and her Executive Assistant Melissa leads Banks and Walstreit out to the stage.

Jill Berg Enterprises MGR: ‘Queen of Greed’ Jill Berg ASST: Melissa P.M.C. Banks AGE: 30 / HT: 6′ 1″  WT: 230 / HOME: New York City, NY FIN: Bank Statement Overdraft Kirk Walstreit – ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.’ AGE: 34 / HT: 6’ 2” WT: 220, HOME: New York City, NY FIN: Stock Market Plunge

Berg leads the group down to the ring. Once inside the ring, Walstreit walks around holding up a velvet painting of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. Why? Who knows. That’s just what he does.

Next out…

♫ “Do you hear the people sing? – Singing the song of angry men?”

The camera pans over to the Deplorable’s section of the arena.  Ray McAvay and William Daniels Bryan high five while Charlie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido stands up from their seat.

Crowder is not happy to see them.

Colleen Crowder: “BOOOO!  BOOOOO!  These Deplorable idiots are the ones responsible for Donald Trump winning in 2016!  BOOOOO!”

The Deplorables MGR: Bert the Janitor‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay HT: 6’ 3” WT: 215 HOME: Fort Stockton, TX FIN: McGill Bomb Valets: West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy William Daniels Bryan– ‘The Prairie Populist’ -4 time PCW Champion.  Former PCW Television Champion HT: 5’10″ WT: 180, HOME: Platte, Nebraska / FIN: Cattle Mutilation or the Crane Kick SUBGROUP: General DeBauchery, Al Cahall, Nic Koteen

Also rising from their seats, General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs and the man smoking a cigarette in violation of several anti-smoking ordinances…as usual, Nic Koteen.

McAvay and Bryan stands up and edges towards the aisle. Blackwell, and Escondido follow.  Then General DeBauchery, Cahall, and Koteen.  Before McAvay and Escondido start to descend down the steps towards the rail separating the stands from the floor, McAvay turns around and gestures to the Les Miserables to join him.

The Deplorables rise up from their seats and line up behind him and Escondido as the pair start their way down towards the ring.

The camera spots West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy with their protégée Starbrite, all sporting the PCW Ray McAvay “Show Up. Punch In. Shut Up.  Get to Work” baseball jersey, marching along with the other Les Miserables as McAvay and the procession head down to the ring.

McAvay, Bryan, Blackwell, Escondido, and the rest reach the steel barricade around ringside.  One by one, they climb through the railing down to the floor and march towards the ring.

Then finally…

WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!

The song opens with a full minute and a half of abstract acapella tones.  The wrestlers already in the ring wonder what the hell is with the music.

They’d find out soon enough after another minute of somber keyboard strikes and overlaid whale calls.

Male Voice: “My name is Brock Cole Lee.  You can call me the Vengeful Vegan.  And I’m here to let you know one thing.  It’s time for a new force to emerge.  It’s time for someone to come in and take over.  It’s time for us- the GREEN… WORLD…ORDER!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Brock Cole Lee: “That’s right.  Boo us all you want.   The bottom line is . . . the Green World Order is here and WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!”

This excites Crowder.

Colleen Crowder: “They’re changing everything Johnny!”

Johnny Suave: “They’ve been saying that since 2005.  I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Lee, his tag team partner GreenPete, and valet Peta from PETA- who spends most of the trip to the ring shouting at people for eating hamburgers and other assorted objectionable food.

Green World Order Valet: Peta from PETA GreenPete HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 195 / HOME: Los Angeles, CA FIN: Harpoon (modified spear or gore) ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 192 / HOME: New York City, NY FIN: The Juicer WITH: PeaceNick

All three teams in the ring now.

*********************************

MATCH #4-PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:

Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Deplorables: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

*********************************

Johnny Suave: “This is NOT an elimination match.  The first team who gets a pinfall will be the new PCW Tag Team champions.”

Colleen Crowder: “GO GREEN WORLD ORDER!”

P.M.C. Banks, McAvay, and GreenPete will start.  Outside the ring, The ‘Queen of Greed’ Jill Berg watches with arms folded.  The Green World Order’s PeaceNick chants peaceful, pacifistic mantras while Peta continues to berate people at ringside for eating meat.  The Deplorables at ringside clap their hands and cheer on McAvay and Bryan.

Brock Cole Lee and Kirk Walstreit taunt each other on the ring apron.  Banks and GreenPete do a lot of talking while McAvay and Bryan confer.   Banks shoves GreenPete.  GreenPete shoves Banks.  Head butt by GreenPete staggers Banks.  He slams him down.  Cover.  One – two – McAvay makes the save.

Banks rolls out of the ring.  GreenPete tags out to Brock Cole Lee who tells Banks to get his ass back into the ring.  Banks and Walstreit talk strategy outside the ring with Jill Berg.   Finally, a ten count begins and Banks returns.

Banks ties up with McAvay.  McAvay gets leveled from behind by Lee.  Banks decides he’s had enough and tags out to Kirk Walstreit.  Walstreit rushes in – Lee gets a takedown.  Waistlock by Lee – he holds on as Walstreit tries to escape.  McAvay back up and he’s got a chair thanks to his tag partner.  *WHAM!*  Walstreit then German Suplexes Lee.  Oklahoma Roll – one – two – GreenPete in for the save.  Bryan tags in and he connects on a mat slam to Walstreit.  He covers.  One – two – BANKS MAKES THE SAVE!  Lee tags GreenPete back in.  Bryan and Walstreit duel – MULE KICK by GreenPete connects.  Walstreit lets go – he dives for the corner – NO!  GreenPete pulls him back at the last second.  Lee clocks Bryan from behind with a steel folding chair and then throws him out of the ring.  Banks tags in for Walstreit.  GreenPete kicks Banks around the ring. Banks down.  He tries to get to his corner but Walstreit stomps away with kick after kick after kick.  The referee starts a five count – GreenPete stomps more.  Then he goes back suplex but Banks lands on his feet.  He ducks two more kicks from GreenPete and hits a DESPERATION BANK STATEMENT OVERDRAFT.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Colleen Crowder: “THAT CAN’T BE LEGAL!”

Suave assures her it is and that GreenPete is down and in big trouble.

Crowd on their feet.  But Banks can’t make the pinfall on GreenPete.  Both men crawl to their corners – hot tags to Brock Cole Lee and Walstreit!  Lee and Walstreit exchange right hands.  Lee decks Walstreit with a right hand.

Outside the ring, Jill Berg strolls over and… *SMACK* unleashes a vicious spinning heel kick to an unsuspecting GreenPete and knocks him out cold.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT?  WHAT IS SHE DOING?

PeaceNick looks on in horror and starts to protest.  Berg calmly walks over to him and *SMACK* …you guessed it.

Johnny Suave: Getting in some martial arts training during the match?

We hear Crowder’s overly audible ‘huff’ following Suave’s remark.

Now Bryan back in and he’s looking for anyone in a green shirt.  He ducks a Lee clothesline and runs the ropes.  Bryan ducks a second clothesline – stops, spins around – SLEEPER!  Lee spins around and tries to get Bryan off his back.  Lee slams Bryan into the corner turnbuckle.  And again.  A third time – Bryan is scraped off.  Banks give him a stomp and then clocks Lee.  GreenPete in the ring and runs and SPLASHES Banks in the corner.  Banks down.  Cover by Bryan.  One – two – WALSTREIT MAKES THE SAVE!   Bryan goes after Banks.  Lee scoop slams Bryan.  Cover.  One – two – BRYAN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Bryan slips through Lee’s legs and tags McAvay back in.  Both Deplorables hook up Banks, then hit a double suplex.  McAvay’s cover.  One – two – NO!  Banks kicks out.  Lee shoves McAvay out of the way and hits a spinning neckbreaker on Banks.  Cover.  One – two – Banks again kicks out.  Banks reverses a hip toss – steps back – SUPERKICK TO BROCK COLE LEE!  Lee down.  Banks rolls over.  One – two – Lee kicks out.  Banks tags Kirk Walstreit back in.  Flying elbow off the top rope by Walstreit takes Lee down again.  He covers.  One – two – 2.999!

Johnny Suave: “RAY McAVAY MAKES THE LAST SECOND SAVE!”

McAvay goes for the cover.  But two masked men hit the ring and tackle him.

Johnny Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE!  IT’S LOAF!”

League of Anti-Fascists aka…LOAF Ted HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 180 / HOME: Portland, OR FIN: The Riot Act Chaz HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 205 / HOME: Seattle, WA FIN: The Riot Act

McAvay tries to fight LOAF off – but Ted throws McAvay over the top rope to the floor.  Then LOAF hop over the top rope and splashes McAvay and Bryan on the floor.

Colleen Crowder: “This is payback Johnny.  Payback for what McAvay and Bryan did four years ago to help Donald Trump become the CEO of PCW and it’s ABOUT TIME!”

The Deplorables come to McAvay and Bryan’s aid and LOAF has to bail out.

Johnny Suave: “But the damage is done.  Both McAvay and Bryan are down.”

Not for long though, McAvay drags himself up.

*SMACK*

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  JILL BERG JUST TOOK OUT RAY McAVAY WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!”

*SMACK*

Johnny Suave: “AND WILLIAM DANIELS BRYAN, TOO!”

This makes Crowder happy.

Colleen Crowder: “Again, it couldn’t have happened to better people.”

Walstreit again goes top rope – flying ax-handle drives Lee back down.  Cover.  One – two – NO!  Lee ejects Walstreit to the middle of the ring.  Walstreit with a waistlock – Lee reverses – backdrop to Walstreit.  Cover.  One – two – Walstreit slips out.  P.M.C. Banks runs in.  He slams Lee down.  Walstreit comes over.  Set.  DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!!  Lee is out of his feet.  Walstreit in – STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! COVER!  ONE – TWO- THREE!  NEW CHAMPIONS!

WINNER AND **NEW** PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jill Berg Enterprises @ 14:05

Johnny Suave: “Jill Berg Enterprises win!”

Colleen Crowder: “Again, they have not.  We have not called the-“

The referee hands Walstreit and Banks the PCW Tag Team title match.

Johnny Suave: “Walstreit and Banks hold up their new title belts!”

Colleen Crowder: “They can’t do that!  This match hasn’t been called yet!”

Johnny Suave: “Breaking news!  The new PCW Tag Team champions put on their new title belts signifying that they are, in fact, the NEW PCW Tag Team champions.”

Colleen Crowder: “Don’t you dare mansplain to me!”

Johnny Suave: “Okay.  We are going to go right to our next match.  A special bonus match for the Alabama Senate Medallion between the Progressive Alliance’s Doug Jones and former Auburn Head Football Coach Tommy Tuberville of the American Patriots.”

Colleen Crowder: “That’s another win for the Progressive Alliance.”

Suave rolls his eyes and waves her off.

Cut to a quick video of the match:

VIDEO-Alabama Medallion Match: Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) vs. Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) -Tuberville is having little trouble with Jones.

Voice Offscreen: “Hold on Johnny.  Stop the video.”

SHOWSTOPPERS Arriving at the broadcast table: Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams- all from the Progressive Alliance.

The group inform Suave that the show is going to be stopped for the moment.

Johnny Suave: “Stopped?  But why?”

Josh Shapiro: “Look.  This is the first show back.  The production crew is tired.  They’re getting back into the flow of things.  So we will pick up the show on Sunday evening with the conclusion.”

Colleen Crowder: “When Joe Biden will become the new PCW CEO!”

Shapiro nods to Crowder.

Josh Shapiro: “When Joe Biden will become the next CEO of PCW.”

Johnny Suave: “I guess we will be back with Part Two of PCW Extreme Election Night 2020 on Sunday night!  For Colleen Crowder-“

Colleen Crowder: I am more than capable of saying goodbye.  I don’t need a man to-

Johnny Suave: Good night everyone!

Cut to:

EPILOGUE Darkened room.  Dim light.

Shadows move around.

George Moros- billionaire financier of the Progressive Alliance.

The Coke Brothers- billionaire financiers of the American Patriots.

A door opens.  Then closes.

Charles Coke: Sarah.

The woman is Sarah Lenti, executive director of the Alan Lincolns Project- a group of American Patriots and former American Patriots dedicated to preventing Donald Trump from winning a second term as PCW CEO.

Sarah Lenti: What the hell is going on!  I thought you had things under control.

David Coke: Sarah, I know things haven’t exactly gone to plan-

Sarah Lenti: Not gone to plan?  Dawn McGill is still in control of PCW with all her ‘PCW is for the people’ bull-*BLEEP*.

George Moros tries to reassure her.

George Moros: Look.  We stopped the show for the evening.  That gives us time to figure this out.

Sarah Lenti: Dawn McGill is going to hand the reins of PCW to Donald Trump for another four years!

George Moros: No she won’t.  Clearly, it’s time to take this to the next level.

Moros pulls out a cell phone and hits a button.

George Moros: It’s time.  Operation Dominion is in effect.

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]

[eaglefairy]

Welcome back! Apologies for the sudden end to the liveblog last year, we both got busy and even when we could play, we discovered that one of my joycons lost the ability to connect to the switch wirelessly. But it's a new year, I scrounged up some replacement joycons from my closet, and xenoblade 3's back on!

"WHOAAAA!" - my roommate upon seeing one of the sea dragons while going to find Fiona

Also we had two supply drops land almost right on top of us while we were cruising, which was a little weird but very welcome

Lanz: "Being ready to die and actively trying to are two different things." Roommate: "Whoo, Lanz spitting facts!" Me: "Just don't ask him how he knows the difference." Roommate: "...aw, Lanz..."

She's very excited by how Irish everyone in Colony Mu sounds. There haven't been a lot of super Irish voices so far, even though the rest of the isles are pretty well represented

Irma: "Please, do whatever you can to make sure it's not Fiona" (wrt someone suffering the Consul's wrath) Roommate: "Oh god, now it's going to be you, Irma!"

Every time Irma speaks I'm just like. bitch. you KNOW these answers

And during the whole conversation portion my roommate asks "Irma, do you want this Clock destroyed?" and internally I'm like AHA

This whole time my roommate's been saying "I think Lanz and Fiona are cute! I kind of ship them!" and when we were watching the last cutscene before the Consul fight starts I was like you know what. I do kind of see it. and my roommate was like "right?!"

Ok my roommate says I need to tell you about the Lanz/Fiona Vision more: "they have the same trauma!! do you see this?! I'm going to flood ao3 with these two. they deserve it"

I just made her actually scream by saying "Hi, I'm Eunie and this is my boyfriend Taion, and this is his boyfriend Lanz, and this is his girlfriend Fiona--"

Roommate: "and this is a picture of Fiona's dead ex-girlfriend Irma--"

lmao we finally went back to the plot and my roommate was startled by the City people suddenly being there

I didn't remember it but Shania is so rude to Sena on Corne Island. My roommate is picking up on it too and we're just like "whoa dude that's uncalled for"

Ok next time is not the end of chapter 5 because our gem collection is in a State (derogatory) and we have to fix that. But next next time is going to be the chapter 5 finale and I'm literally almost shaking with excitement just thinking about it

[hannahhook7744]

'The Marvelous Misadventures of Hannah Hook' Moodboards (Revamped)(Part 4);

Liberty Edith Titan.

Age 14 years old.

Daughter of Arges the Cyclops and .

Cyclops and Back Up Carpenter of The Storm Bringer.

Family: Arges the Cyclops (Father),

(Mother).

Pet(s): None.

Hobbies: Wood carving, bug/insect collecting, painting, embroidery art, metal working, arson, playing games, playing ball, taking care of animals, weapon making, listening to music, fruit picking, dumpster diving, treasure hunting, carpentry, hunting, running, hiking, climbing, etc.

Weapon of Choice: Wooden Club.

She doesn't have magic but she does have inhumane strength and she's strangely good at mimicking people's voices.

Theme Song: "Roar."

Michelle 'Misty' Del Rey-Silver.

Age 16 years old.

Daughter of John Silver and Marina Del Rey.

Mermaid and Diver of the Storm Bringer.

Family: John Silver (Father),

Marina Del Rey (Mother),

Shania Silver (Sister).

Pet(s): None.

Hobbies: Dumpster diving, treasure hunting, diving, swimming, playing the bongos, swimming with the sharks, smoothie making, jellyfish catching, fishing, water fights, sea shell collecting, sand sculpture building, listening to music, dancing, exploring, playing games, Whale baiting, Jewelry making, sculpting/carving, tattooing, scavenging, racing, knitting, and story telling.

Weapon of Choice: Harpoon.

She has mermaid powers but not magic.

Theme Song: "Just the Way I Am."

D.E Anonymous.

Age 12-15 years old.

Daughter of Unknown.

Anonymous Helper of the Storm Bringer.

Family: Unknown.

Pet(s): None.

Hobbies: Singing sea shanties, dancing, parkour, hide n' seek, reading, playing cards, embroidery, sewing, writing, art, self designing, spying, babysitting, climbing, swimming, pickpocketing, and crocodile wrestling.

Weapon of Choice: Slingshot, Catapult, Canon, and Rocks.

It is unknown whether they have any magical abilities or powers. Oc is based on @dragoneyes618 .

Theme Song: "Secret."

Shan Bri.

Age 13 years old.

Daughter of Shan Yu and Xianniang.

Back Up Kid Wrangler of the Stormbinger Crew.

Family: Shan Yu (Father),

Xianniang (Mother),

Shan Desiree and Shan Deja (Sisters),

Shan Simon, Shan Shing, and Shan Shiro (Brothers).

Pet(s): Fernando (Succulent).

Hobbies: Archery, gardening, cooking, baking, various forms of art, sparring, playing games, wrestling, swimming, playing with fire, sword fighting, learning languages, surfing the web, horseback riding, rat trapping, hunting, etc.

Weapon of Choice: Bow and Arrow & Butterfly Knife.

It is unknown whether they have any magical abilities or powers. Oc is based on @mysticfables .

Theme song: "Warriors."

Tiger Khan.

Age 14 years old.

She was found and adopted by Shere Khan for unknown reasons, learned to talk from other isle kids, and was simply known by Tiger.

Translator of the Stormbringer Crew. 

Family: Shere Khan (Father).

Pet(s): None.

Hobbies: Drawing, Embroidery, Hunting, fishing, writing, reading, watching tv, vandalism, graffiti, dancing, swimming, parkour, climbing, cooking, sailing, photography, etc.

Weapon of Choice: Bone Knife and Knife Gloves.

They have no magic. Oc is based on @panthera-tigris-venenata .

Theme Song: "Welcome to the Jungle."

Fiona Freelend Foundling.

Age 8 years old. Abandoned/orphaned fairy child with dark wings that just popped up on the isle out of nowhere. No one knows who she really is.

She is the look out of the Stormbringer Crew.

Family: None/Unknown.

Pet(s): Bagul (Skunk).

Hobbies: Dancing, drawing, collecting stuffed animals/creepy things/bugs/silly bands/slap bands, acting , sewing, coloring, having tea parties, listening to music, trick or treating, playing dress up, knitting, meteorology, creative writing/poetry, arts and crafts, catching fire flies, acting, learning, and gardening.

Weapon of Choice: Bat Handled Sword.

They have fairy powers.

Theme song: "Hide and Seek."

Noah Sage Napoleon Bradford Aoratos.

Age 8 years old.

Son of Persephone and Hades.

Prince of the underworld and cabin boy of the Storm Bringer.

Family: Hades Aoratos (Father),

Persephone Athanasiou (Mother),

Melinoë and Makaria Athanasiou and Skia Aoratos (Full Blooded Sisters), 

Zagreus Athanasiou (Full Blooded [allegedly] Brother),

Hadie Aoratos (Twin Brother),

Treycor Fae-Aoratos, Alex Aoratos-Sinclair (Half Brothers),

Darcy Aoratos (Half Sister).

Pet(s): Cerberus the dog.

Hobbies: Playing in Haul's band, hide and seek, dress up, tye dying things, making flower crowns, playing house, running errands, braiding hair, making plants grow, watching cartoons, coloring, gardening, listening to music, singing, dancing, treasure hunting, dressing up his stuffed koala, tea parties, building minatures, collecting stuffed animals/bugs/silly bands/slap bands, acting, etc.

Weapon of Choice: Stygian Iron Sword.

He has demigod powers, can see ghosts/the dead, and has Persephone's abilities.

Theme Song: "I'm Just A Believer."

[justinsentertainmentcorner]

Miles Klee at Rolling Stone:

YOU CAN’T PLEASE all the people all of the time — even if you’re as popular as Taylor Swift. Having attained a somehow higher level of mega-celebrity with her record-breaking Eras Tour and a closely followed romance with Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs (who are headed back to the Super Bowl as the defending NFL champs), the singer now faces the perplexing wrath of MAGA conspiracy theorists who have decided the league and the relationship are rigged to help Joe Biden’s chances in the 2024 presidential election. The premise is as disconnected from reality as it sounds, but it’s all the stranger given that this courtship between a pop icon and football star — both white, Christian, good-looking, wholesome public figures — should fit the all-American conservative ideal. And Swift herself long retained her mass appeal with a mostly apolitical presence on the world stage, only voicing liberal positions and endorsing a select few Democrats from 2018 onward. But it was, in part, this late entry into civic discourse that allowed right-wingers to sell themselves a narrative of Swift as a propaganda puppet, after years in which some ardently worshiped her as a blonde, blue-eyed avatar for white supremacy. Here’s the complete timeline of how the far right fell in, and out of, love with Taylor Swift.    

Pre-2016: Country Roots

Swift came up in the Nashville scene, from the age of 14, as a country singer-songwriter inspired by the likes of Dolly Parton and Shania Twain. Her debut single, “Tim McGraw,” alluded to her love of another country legend — and her early hits climbed the genre’s charts along with heartland tunes full of cowboy twang and pickup trucks. Whatever the identities of individual performers, this music has always been conservative-coded, and its biggest names have rarely shied away from an aggressive style of red-meat patriotism. Swift, of course, was a teenager singing about innocent young love: She only happened to suit the fantasy of a small-town girl next door that informs so much Americana. (And she certainly didn’t have Parental Advisory stickers on her CDs.) It was when she started to drift from these roots on Red (2012), and fully embraced electronic pop with 1989 (2014), that fans could begin to think of her as totally distinct from the traditionalist milieu of her early career. The latter’s “Welcome to New York” signaled a new, cosmopolitan life far from the backroads of country radio. In fact, a civilian Donald Trump was blasting the album’s second single, “Blank Space,” while driving around with wife Melania and son Barron, as seen in a 2014 video Melania shared on her Facebook page [...]

The ascendant alt-right, shitposters by nature, saw a chance to disingenuously claim Swift for their own, as both a secret Trump supporter and neo-Nazi. (It didn’t seem to matter that she had previously expressed her happiness at Barack Obama taking the White House in 2008, her first election.) The attempt to rebrand her had older, murky origins, including 4chan in-jokes and a Pinterest user who in 2013 went viral for images falsely attributing Hitler quotes to Swift, but picked up steam as Trump did. Andrew Anglin, founder of the white supremacist website the Daily Stormer, declared her an “aryan goddess,” while Milo Yiannopoulos, in a column for Breitbart, explained why she was an “alt-right pop icon,” noting her whiteness, blondeness, unrevealing clothes, lack of piercings, and occasional mini-scandals over music videos accused of racist undertones. It probably didn’t help that Swift endorsed neither Hillary Clinton nor Trump, leaving room for misinformation about how she secretly voted for the GOP candidate. Following Trump’s victory, some Democrats vented their frustration at Swift’s silence during the campaign, believing she could have moved the needle for Clinton. [...]

In the following months, the #MeToo movement shed light on how often sexual misconduct is dismissed or covered up to the perpetrator’s benefit, and Swift became one of the founding signatories of Time’s Up, an advocacy group for survivors, and donated to its legal defense fund.  None of this was likely to endear Swift to conservatives who had already begun to argue that #MeToo had “gone too far,” yet she continued to press the issue, gracing the cover of Time’s Person of the Year issue along with fellow “silence breakers.” And the next year, she finally waded into electoral politics, sharing on Instagram that she would be backing Democratic congressional candidates in Tennessee for the 2018 midterms. [...]

2019-2020: The Activist

By 2019, Swift’s politics were no mystery. She was openly in favor of gun-control reform, took a pro-choice stance against government attempts to crack down on abortion, gave a surprise performance at New York’s Stonewall Inn for that year’s Pride celebration, and urged the senate to pass anti-discrimination laws. Any far-right fan clinging to the notion that she harbored extremist views would’ve been in clinical denial. For the most part, conservative commentators got in the habit of attacking her as they would any other liberal entertainer with a massive platform. Ben Shapiro, for one, complained of her “abrupt and obviously pandering shift into a political wokescold.”    At last, Swift also formally denounced any admiration from the racist far right in a cover story interview with Rolling Stone. “There’s literally nothing worse than white supremacy,” she said. “It’s repulsive. There should be no place for it.” She explained that she feared a 2016 endorsement of Hillary Clinton could have backfired, since Clinton’s celebrity support was “used against her in a lot of ways.” As for conservatives who had once assumed she was on their side, she quipped, “I don’t think they do anymore.” [...]

2021-2024: Taylor Derangement Syndrome

The “aryan goddess” interpretation of Swift had been more or less put to bed by the time Biden assumed office. But the reorganizing MAGA right had little reason to single her out among the legions of professional entertainers who express their distaste for Trump here and there. She didn’t endorse candidates in the 2022 midterms, either, though she did communicate her dismay at the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Conservatives who bothered to take a swipe at her tended toward lazy outrage bait: calling her boring, overrated, or a lonely cat lady (mind you, she was in a long-term relationship with actor Joe Alwyn that was heavily covered by the tabloids). In 2021, Swift embarked on the formidable project of rerecording her first six studio albums after the rights to that catalog were sold to a company run by controversial music mogul Scooter Braun, and released the hit record Midnights in 2022.

It was in 2023 that American conservatism launched into an enduring freakout about Swift, her cultural dominance, and her potential influence on voters. Anyone dimly aware of the Eras Tour — an unprecedented run of sold-out stadium shows — could see she had reached another pinnacle of success, and amassed a near-cultish audience of millions who hung on her every utterance. We got plenty of think pieces on whether this was a good or bad phenomenon, with varied musings on how Swift had created her own monoculture. The sheer saturation of Taylor content was enough to irk those less disposed to her vibe — and there were gripes about that, too.

[...] The release of The Tortured Poets Departmentlast Friday, April 19, inevitably (and unfortunately) brought a new round of grousing. Sean Feucht,  the far-right “MAGA Pastor,” raised the alarm on social media, saying “half the songs” on the album “contain explicit lyrics (E), make fun of Christians, and straight up blaspheme God.” And lest you think he’s “just being religious & overreacting,” Feucht shared several apparently offending lyrics that certainly dabble in classic religious imagery, but in the most basic, writerly way imaginable. Among the most harrowing lines, to Feucht: “I would’ve died for your sins, instead I just died inside” (from “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”); “What If I roll the stone away / They’re gonna crucify me anyway” (“Guilty as Sin”); and “God save the most judgmental creeps / Who say they want what’s best for me / Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see,” from “But Daddy I Love Him,” which definitely seems more critical of Swift’s own fans than an entire religion.  And, of course, Shapiro got back in on the action as well with a YouTube video dubbed, “Taylor Swift’s New Album Is GARBAGE” and nuanced opinions like, “Can we stop pretending she’s high art?” and, “She’s so tortured that she’s worth billions of dollars for singing songs that are most appropriately sung by 16 and 17 year old girls.” 

Rolling Stone has an in-depth report on the timeline of Taylor Swift's career that led to the eventual right-wing sour grapes-fueled culture war against her, especially in the last few years or so.

[lasshoe]

15 questions + 15 mutuals

tagged by @waywardted 💛💛💛

Were you named after anyone?

my middle name (blair) is after blair from the facts of life and my first name i think my parents were at my cousin's graduation and a girl had it and they liked it and they were right 😌

When was the last time you cried?

lmao embarrassing and i wish i were joking but like 30 minutes ago watching a video on twitter of beyonce saying “welcome to the renaissance” brnrjdkdnfnekapk

Do you have kids?

no but i want them one day! my own and/or as has been previously well documented that i aspire to be a stepmom so dilfs hmu

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

i don’t particularly think i do

What's the first thing you notice about people?

their clothing and not in a judgy way it's just an occupational hazard i guess?

What's your eye color?

hazel

Scary movies or happy endings?

are u kidding me happy endings every time

Any special talents?

idk if it's a talent but i have like....... insane reflexes so if i fumble or knock something over or if anyone else does close enough to me 99.9% of the time i catch it? it's very weird. i can also do at least a back handspring which i haven’t attempted in years but i genuinely believe i still could if the opportunity presented itself and i tried

Where were you born?

virginia, usa

What are your hobbies?

me 🤝 ayo edibiri…. watching tv and watching movies. but also taking walks around the city, going to museums, thrifting, swimming in the ocean, traveling, trying new restaurants if that counts? i do genuinely need more hobbies

Have any pets?

not personally

What sports do you play/have you played?

most of my childhood i spent in competitive cheerleading but also dabbled in dance and softball and basketball

How tall are you?

5’3

Favorite subject in school?

english and art

Dream job?

my job rn (creative trend director) is actually my dream job in basically every way except financially

Tagging:

idk who or who hasn’t been tagged but here goes: @ohtendril @topsee-turvee @thesumdancekid @endlessblasphemy @factoseintolerant @talldecafcappuccino @jcusack @romansroys @coachlasso @villainesses @iloveyouandilikeyou @mrgaretcarter2 @shania-twain @dollsome-does-tumblr @cowherderess 😮‍💨

[justwannaflex]

(—) ★ spotted!! NOUR WILSON on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 53 year old looks like SALMA HAYEK, but i don’t really see it. while the CASTMEMBER OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS is known for being CAPTIVATING my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be TEMPERAMENTAL i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song KA-CHING! BY SHANIA TWAIN {she+her / cisfemale}

Headline

Can you hear it ring. It makes you want to sing. It's such a beautiful thing, ka-ching. Lots of diamond rings. The happiness it brings. You'll live like a king. With lots of money and things.

Stats

name: nour wilson née mouawad

age: 53

nicknames: tba

date of birth: 1970

place of birth: Beirut (Lebanon)

nationality : lebanese, mexican & american

gender identity: cis woman (she/her)

sexuality: moneysexual

family : Henry Wilson (husband), several children tba (1st born in 1990)

occupation: cast member of the real housewives of beverly hills

career claim: jennifer grey (sort of)

net worth : 3,1 Md $

spoken languages : english, arabic and spanish

positive traits: resourceful, cunning, captivating, perfectionist, confident

negative traits: materialistic, self-centred, temperamental, opportunistic, deceitful

characters/celebrities inspo: tba

zodiac sign : tba

Bio

tw : civil war and death mention

Nour was born in Beirut to a telecom mania father and a telenovella actress mother. She spent the first five years of her life in a Lebanon which was becoming more and more unstable and dangerous. At the beginning of the Lebanese civil war, her family fled the country, relocating to the United States. They still had money but most of it was stuck in Lebanon. She lived a relatively luxurious life in Los Angeles until she was twelve years old. Her father who still went back to Lebanon from time, did not return from one of his trips. He had been caught in the war.

With her father gone, her family began to lose money and status. Eventually, they had to sell their luxurious L.A. mansion and move to Mexico with their remaining fortune but Nour did not accompany them. She plead to stay in the States and her mother agreed to leave her in the care of a distant cousin. Inspired by her mother's past as a telenovella actress, Nour started to go to auditions. She hoped to become famous and gain back the life that had been stolen from her.

When she was seventeen, she quit school to star in her first movie. Dirty Dancing became a hit and she was suddenly under the spotlight she had sought. Nour was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actress. She was invited everywhere and tasted a life better than the one she had lost. She quickly burned her 50 000 dollar fee but no new movie was coming along.

Not wanting to go back to sharing a bedroom, she had to act fast. With her fame and pretty face, she was a catch and it was not hard to secure a rich suitor. At only 19 years old, she married Henry Wilson, heir to a real estate empire. She quickly became pregnant and gave birth to her first child at the age of 20 years old. That way, even if Henry divorced her, she would still get alimony and child support. She would be set for life if she played her cards right. The couple later welcomed other children.

Nour tried staring in movies or tv shows from time to time but none became very successful. Offended by those failures and not needing the money, she stopped acting. She simply led a socialite life, spending her husband's money.

In 2009, she was approached to appear in dancing with the stars. She won the season and rediscovered media's attention. It felt so good to be back on talk shows and red carpets. Not wanting to go back to relative anonymity, she joined the real housewives of beverly hills to stay relevant. She had missed the spotlight too much.

Career

At seventeen Nour starred in a movie called dirty dancing. It would become a classic. She still appeared in movies and tv shows from time to time but never knew real success again.

She won the 2009 dancing with the star season.

She is one of the original cast member of the real housewives of Beverly Hills.

[3rddimension]

Here we go again🤦‍♂️

https://reddit.com/r/smosh/s/F0erDP0iEu

This is starting to give off, where's Anthony vibes😩

How many times do we have to do this?

What even is a "sibling friendship"?

Don't even get me started on the Spencer/Courtney comment,"Spencer was present for the entire video", so? That is part of his job, he runs the games channel and always rides shotgun for Thursday streams, taking questions from chat.

Tbh, I get it. Oh, Courtney and Shayne are on camera together, Shartney fans are going to pee themselves🤣

People love beating a dead horse, I tell ya. But, in all seriousness can people just tone it down a little? I know that it'll never completely go away, nevertheless it has worn out its welcome.

Genuinely, I can say without question, people have run out of excuses for why these two couldn't possibly be together. We've gone from siblings to bffs, co-workers to weaponizing Courtney's sexuality against them, the list goes on and on.

Just let them be. As much slack as Shartney shippers get for making compilations or writing fan fic, those on the opposite side are doing pretty much the same thing, just the inverse. It must be tedious for them after a while, but I know they can handle it. They've been at this a long time, they've got tough skin.

Lastly, they probably looked at each other that way, because as previously mentioned, they've definitely heard this/something similar for years now. On top of the fact, what else are they supposed to do? Kiss each other on stream or call each other by some pet name? Court and Shania, obviously being excluded. That would surely do wonders for their private lifes🙄

In moments like this if I were them I'd just be like f*** it! Why not throw caution to the wind and subtly go public? Despite all this I understand why they remain resloute.

TLDR, Sorry if this came across as rambling at certain points, I just needed to vent. I didn't expect to see this on the Smosh Reddit, I thought I'd definitely see it here instead.

Regardless of everything mentioned, I did find it rather cute when the og poster called it a love stream by mistake.

🖖

Yeah. I saw that thread on Smosh Reddit back when it just created and muttered to myself "Here we go again..." but surprisingly the comment is not that intrusive except the one from your screencap. Also I think a lot of Smosh fan probably realized now that they're together and low key rooting for them too.

It's quite tame based on all the previous thread on that subreddit tho. There are even more blatantly ask if they're a couple or a someone just post that they're living together. But those are all gone now for quite awhile.

[broadway-june]

welcome, june from another timeline! glad to see you back. could you please do a parody of I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain? i was thinking I Feel Like An Egbert could be a fun direction to take it in alskjdk but it's up to you!

hey there anon! it’s nice to be here :D

i wanted to say thank you for the suggestion! I just gave the song a listen and i think you’re on to something! i’m not too familiar with it, but i definitely agree it has potential!

i have a few songs planned coming up in the next couple weeks (i’m still looking for that dang microphone…) but!!!

because you’re the first person to send me a request, i want that to feel special! so the next slot i have in my planner for writing lyrics is dedicated to you!

i’m a little rusty with song writing, but hey we’re here to have fun right?

hope you’re doing well anon! remember to keep your ears clean, ‘cause you never know when you need to listen out for a DUCK-

;D