#weird line of lights in the sky made me believe in aliens for a few seconds until google told us its just a starlink satellite
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this has been the most eventful vacation of my life
#TTPD AT ERAS#tornados hit back home which Rarely happens this bad. sister back home couldnt find my cat for a while and the door was open i was so scared#thats my worst nightmare. she ended up being under my bed but that was terrifying#weird line of lights in the sky made me believe in aliens for a few seconds until google told us its just a starlink satellite#it was so creepy though#also maybe AUROURA BOREALLIS?? in florida??#summer speaks
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Hours had passed since the "math duel" and the sun had began its descent, setting the town ablaze with a warm orange glow. Krel had spent a portion of the evening exploring, or rather wandering, throughout more of the town, observing it's people. Many of the humans were out in pairs at this hour, some of the pairs had included smaller versions of themselves in whatever activities they were partaking in. He had spied a young pair of, well, human girls at the park, almost identical except in the tones of their skin and the color of their hair, and a pair of adults he assumed were their parents seated on a bench not far away, sitting at polar ends from each other on the bench conversing on their communication devices, otherwise leaving the two children on their own.
The girls themselves didn't appear perturbed or at all bothered by their parents behavior, more entertained by the images on the platform they made with the unusual writing untensils in their tiny hands. Well, all Earthly untensils were unusual in Krel's perspective; pencils, pens, markers, but ones that the two girls used were different even from those. These were maybe the length of an unused pencil but far thicker than a marker and... powdery? His head tipped as he watched one blow away part of her line, the colorful powder pushed into the air in one big gust, as she redrew the line. Her fairer toned sibling patted a hand on her clothes, a blue colored handprint left behind on the green fabric. Both girls took notice of the mark and giggled, the first girl Krel was watching pressed a hand to her own clothes and left a pink handprint similar to the other's blue. The action brought a smile to his face, it has been a while since that happened.
He eyed the girls' parents again. Would it be rude if he just started talking to the children? Their parents didn't seem to be very attentive at the moment. Doesn't that sound familiar? But he was curious about their weird, colorful writing tools. Hm, maybe if he just kept a decent distance as he spoke to them. He didn't want to come off as strange.
"Excuse me," he approached the girls, kneeling to their height at what he believed was a respectable distance. Both girls looked at him, shifting as if they were preparing to run at the first opportunity, Krel wasn't exactly surprised by the reaction seeing as a lot of the commercials on the picture box involved something called 'stranger danger' and he was, afterall, a stranger to them. But he pointed at their drawings, from a closer examination the colorful etchings turned out to be crude imitations of other Earth creatures, a lot of them with long ears and roundish tails and a few like clouds with legs. "What is that you are writing with?"
The wariness in their eyes wavered as they looked down at the drawings around them and then at the untensils in their hands.
"You mean chalk?" The yellow-haired one asked, pointing her free hand to the blue powdery stick she held.
"Chalk," Krel echoed thoughtfully. "And you, ah, draw with it?"
"Yea, dummy," her sister answered. "Haven't you used chalk before?" They gave him identical looks of confusion only someone their age could.
"No, actually, I haven't." Krel answered back quietly. "We don't have anything like 'chalk' where I am from." He looked down at their drawings again, noticing colors other than pink and blue, there was a yellow circle he figured was the sun judging by the green landscape below it and many other colorful dots he supposed were plants. His head tilted so the image wasn't completely upside down in his perspective. "You have some very pretty drawings."
"Do you want to try?" The yellow-haired girl asked, holding out her chalk stick to him.
He eyed the shrunken piece of blue in her open palm. "A- are you sure?"
"Sure!" The girl chirped, a smile spreading over her features, a matching one on her sister's as well. "We do this all the time, its fun."
Krel took the chalk from her, rolling it and turning it in his hand, blue powder stuck to his palm wherever it touched. He looked up to see the girl reach behind her sister and pull out another stick of chalk, purple this time. They went back to scribbling on the bricks around them. He watched as their creativity grew and spread, narrowly crossing over each other's work and somehow still blending together.
Looking down at the emptiness around him where their chalk hadn't yet touched. What would he draw, he wondered. Things considered artistic escaped him, even on his planet; he couldn't understand poetry, the closest he gets to crafting is inventing gadgets, even basic drawing on a telepad wasn't something he had much skill in. What could he draw? Well, shapes are pretty simple.
He started with a triangle, Earth's history was full of them according to Kubritz and her research teams. Ancient tombs and monuments to societies that have long since passed, the triangle was acknowledged as the strongest structure, those words rang true clearly. A square, the basic form of most present day structures; there wasn't anything too spectacular about it, a little more space than a triangle, sure but meh. Then a circle, a shape Krel was most familiar with, there wasn't a screen or viewing monitor in Akiridion-5 that did not have circles, and even then there were links that connected them to more circles. On Earth, circles meant unity to some and a means of 'alien' communication to others - Kubritz.
"Can't you draw?" The brown-haired girl asked as she crawled over to look at his work.
"I am not very talented." Krel admitted. "But drawing with chalk is fun."
"Try drawing your family." Her sister suggested as she joined them. "That helps me sometimes."
Krel hummed at that logic. It was sound enough, even if he was currently at odds with his family and it was an extremely delicate situation. But they are human children, it was probably best to go along with it.
He started with Aja, forcing himself to recall her human form; it wasn't perfect, especially since he was limited to one color but he knew. Next his mother, whose disguise he's only seen a handful of times so this may be a little more difficult. That was nothing to drawing his father. How does one draw face fur?
The girls giggled at the etching.
"That one looks like a monkey." The yellow-haired one pointed to his etching. His gaze roamed over the attempted drawing and felt laughter bubbling in his chest.
"It seems you are right." Oh, how was Krel going to look at his father's face without laughing now?
He looked around them, seeing that the sky was gradually getting darker, getting closer to the time that younglings would be taken back to their homes. The girls' parents were still occupied with their own priorities, poor girls.
"I suppose I should go," he sighed, giving back the chalk he was given, "you will be going home soon." Krel did not expect such saddened expressions at his words.
"Do you have to?" The brown-haired girl asked, watching him stand up.
"I'm afraid so." He dusted the blue powder on to his jeans. "But I'm sure we will see each other again."
"Really?" The yellow-haired girl asked excitedly.
"Of course," Krel chuckled. "I wander around when I have free time." He watched as they shared a look, tipping his head as they stood as well, the yellow-haired one picking up the blue chalk and holding it out to him again.
"My name's Abby," she said, bouncing a little on her heels as she shook the chalk at him.
"And I'm Gabby." Her sister added proudly. "You can have the blue one, then we can draw again next time. Right?"
A smile pulled at his lips again. It would be a shame to see their faces fall again in sadness. He took the chalk from Abby. "That sounds fun. My name is Krel, it was nice to meet you both."
They waved at him as he walked away, pocketing the chalk he was gifted. Maybe he can find out where they get it next time so he can obtain more himself. He admired the blue powder that tainted his palm, opening and closing his hand, it was somehow amusing how the color clung to his flesh. It was almost as if his real body was peering through, if only.
After a bit of wandering, the sky growing darker, and some of the street lights were blinking to life Krel found himself at a back alley behind some stores that surrounded the park, if his memory of the town map was correct. It was empty of any lifeform that was human as he stepped in, looking around at his surroundings carefully; four-legged creatures that he was told were cats saw his approach and ran off into hiding; even smaller creatures scurried away behind them, leaving Krel alone with the garbage bins of two different sizes, the walls of the buildings were clean aside from the occasional stain near the bins or moss that grew more toward the ground.
He wasn't sure what compelled him to do so but he pulled the piece of chalk from his pocket and wrote the equation from the math duel, following it with his correct work and answer. Satisfaction washed over him as he wrote his answer, the right answer, his original answer. He was still a bit stuck on his why's during the duel, he knew he did a good thing for Seamus so what did it matter anymore. Why did Seamus stare at him when it was over?
Krel's hand moved to write another equation, it was more complex but watching the letters and numbers come into being it made sense to him, it always made sense to him, similar to cataloging past events and his planning for the future. It was comforting as he continued the equation, spreading it further along the wall, blue clear against the red brick but still convoluted. Had he been less taken in with his work he probably would have felt more guilty about how much of the chalk he was using up. He didn't notice the approaching person behind him until they addressed him.
"Kubritz?"
Krel whipped around, instinctively taking up a defensive battle stance startling the newcomer. That was... Seamus? And was holding an item in each hand, they didnt seem to be weapons though so he could relax somewhat. Not completely though, he has noticed around the education prison that some human males in their age group tended to be, well, boorish and found amusement in harassing other males they perceived as weak, and Krel's human form unfortunately suited that perception. Primitive. He'll be sure to correct that.
"Uh... hey," Seamus waved one of the things he held, the action stiff. His eyes flicked beyond Krel, looking over the equations behind him. "What're you working on?" His gaze followed the equation to the start, lingering on the work shown. "Looks complicated."
"You have no idea." Krel wasn't trusting this interaction, not that there was any reason to.
"Hey- Look, you can relax, uh, whatever move that is," Seamus gestured to Krel's posture with whatever it was he held. "What is that anyway? Judo? Jujitsu?"
Krel eased his stance but kept a leery eye still on the human. "Nothing you have ever seen, I assure you." He answered in little more than a monotone.
"Ookay...?" The human coughed, taking a few meeger steps toward him with a hand extended outward. "You want a burrito? I dunno if you've eaten yet or anything but it's an idea right?" He gave a pitiful laugh as he stopped only a few feet away, the thing in his hand slumping over his fingers like it was trying to slip out of his grip.
As a being of energy, Krel had no need to consume organic materials, but he has been curious. On another hand Earth has a history in poisoning consumables for enemies, again not that it should affect him, maybe.
A sigh escaped Seamus, seeming to notice Krel's reluctance. "I just want to apologize for my behavior." He said, "You didn't deserve it. You earned the grade fair and square."
"I suppose I should say that I'm relieved you've gained some sense." Krel retorted, not completely convinced.
"Okay... I earned that." Krel saw Seamus' grip tighten around the 'burrito', his restraint was admirable. "But you didn't have to let me win, so why did you?"
Krel finally took the burrito, examining it for a moment before tearing the aluminum wrapping like he's seen other humans do and bite into it. The texture was strange, soft, soggy; the taste was savory, it was weird feeling the crunch of vegetables but overall it wasn't bad but he didn't have much in expectations, so, another point for Earth.
"Wanna sit?" Seamus gestured to the the sidewalk. Krel didn't object, taking another bite of his burrito and joining him on the cold cement just a yard or so from a flickering lamppost.
"I had nothing to gain," he answered finally, getting a startled look, "from winning the math duel. Nothing to lose either, unlike you."
The human's head ducked almost sheepishly. He must have recalled how loud his father was in bellowing their agreement. If it could have been called that.
"Again, I'm sorry," he declared. "My dad just has high expectations. Very high."
"Understandable."
"Is it really?"
Krel frowned at him. "Just because my parents are not present does not mean I don't have my own problems with them."
Seamus' face turned even more guilt ridden. "R-right, sorry," he stammered, a red hue spreading over his features. He was quiet for a moment, taking large distracting bites of his own burrito. The silence allowed Krel a moment to gather his thoughts about the present situation, and possibly plan for what could happen next. Maybe he could somehow make Seamus an ally, like Aja had with the majority of their peers, to keep his disguise here. It certainly would make things easier than researching every tidbit about this mudball to blend in while Morando outsources the search for Gaylen's core. The question was how to do so.
"You," Seamus spoke up again, breaking the silence between them, "you came from a warring country, right, like Aja Tarron and her family?"
The words brought a bitter curl to his lips. Her family, may as well be, ironic, consider she used to run away from her family at every opportunity.
"Yes," Krel answered softly. "Maybe even the same country, if luck would have it." Some luck that would be.
"What happened? I-if you don't mind me asking."
The expression on Seamus' face was different from before; softer, solemn, perhaps even sympathetic. It's been a clear background to his class that Krel escaped from a war torn country with no family besides Morando who was discharged due to injury during the fight. Could this be the opportunity he needed to make Seamus his ally? To make a 'friend'? In one quote Krel had heard, he now understood. When opportunity knocks, it would be wise to open the door.
"I-it all happened so fast," Krel began, quickly coming up with details to twist the story from the traumatic reality. "It happened on the coronation day for the royal heirs; my parents both had high political and military positions so my sister and I were allowed good seats to see the crowning," he kept his voice low, allowing some of the emotion he kept at bay to fill his words, "everyone was excited, we all had high hopes. The princess hadn't made her appearance yet when the attack happened." Krel swallowed thickly as the real memory came to mind. The running, his parents ordering him and Zadra to find Aja, falling behind, and being left behind. "It was chaos; people were running everywhere, trying to find each other and to find shelter, soldiers and their weapons, the cannon fire..." his eyes were leaking again, it was too much already with so little spoken. What was wrong with him? "I- I was too slow, my... my parents- my sister, gah, what is wrong with me?" He took the fabric of his shirt, quickly trying to wipe away the streaming liquid, his chest felt heavy, his core ached. Krel hadn't felt like this since he first found Aja and their parents on Earth. His head hurt.
A hand touched his shoulder making him freeze up. "It's okay." Seamus' voice was calm, relaxing even. "You've been through a lot, huh?"
Krel sniffed, trying to regain some composure before answering. "You have no idea."
#tales of arcadia#3below#krel tarron#aja tarron#general morando#morandos prodigy au#king failkov#queen coranda#seamus johnson#trollhunters#space camp#this is getting so long so imma make a part 3
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4th prompt part 2
The silence was appreciated as your mind wrapped up today's event. You had met your soulmate in a goddess of a woman. Everything you had discovered so far was perfect. You watched as she pulled a metal disk and metal stick from her pockets. The metal stick made a strange buzzing sound and glowed a faint orange at the tip as she hovered over the disk.
"What are you doing?" You asked after watching her in curiosity for a few moments. You would've let her continue as her face was quite the sight. Her eyes were sparkling with intent and her nose had the most adorable scrunch.
She stopped for a moment as you spoke as if thinking on what to say before continuing. "I'm scanning for any spider eggs in the building so we can take them with the other spiders to a planet of their own. A planet without civilisation but full to the brim with creatures they can eat. I think, the fam got them all. No, fam still doesn't seem right. The team does sound better!"
"A planet? What, are you some kind of alien?"
"Yes. Would that be a problem?" She asked. From the way her eyes sparkled, I believed her. Great, no wonder why she seemed so ethereal! So when I say, she's out of this world, it'd be a fact and not a flirtatious comment! For fuck sake, that's one of my best lines as well! Maybe I could use it when the time is right?
"Nope. After the discoveries of my life recently, that's actually the most believable thing. Please don't ask yet. However, those spider babies trust me. You aren't going to get them to listen without me. I spent at least a full 5 hours with them, they trust me more than you. Come on little Miss Sunshine, hop to it, the spiders won't wait forever." I spoke with confidence. I knew she knew, she needed me. That's why she followed me. "I'm (y/n) by the way"
"Great name! Love that name, was always one of my favourites. I've always fancied myself as a (y/n) but the faces never seem to fit it. I'm normally a John but I can't be now I'm a woman. Why don't you give me an alias for when I'm undercover?"
"Hmmm. I quite liked the name Alice and you certainly suit that name. Is there a name people call you when you aren't undercover. What do family call you?"
"Alice. I love that! I'm keeping Smith. Alice Smith. Perfect! Knew you'd be the one to help me. People tend to call me the Doctor. So do I for some reason. Wish I knew why."
This cute blonde alien was more mysterious the more we talked. She told me of how her ship goes in time as well as in space. She told me of the time of when she met Robin Hood with an older face and a companion named Clara. All this talk and I wasn't bothered once by it. I could listen and watch her all day as she talks about adventures she's been on. She puts all the theatrics on and waves her arms about with so much passion and her eyes show her emotions so clearly. But I also saw age. If she's older than she looks, just how old is she? Not that it bothers me, it's just, if she's like hundreds of years old, she's probably had other lovers and I don't know if plain old me can compete with that.
Sooner than we realised, we came towards a blue Police box. She clicked her fingers and waltzed right in. This must be her TARDIS. I walked inside with awe. The ship was beautiful inside. Like a gem hidden as an ore. The golden and blue lights perfectly reflected her personality.
"It's fucking massive Sunshine! Ya didn't warn me about walking into a football field! No wonder why thousands of spiders seemed no problem! Fucking hell!" I stated as my eyes scanned the room in front of me. Then I felt a little tug on my right trouser leg. I looked down and saw a little spider wanting my attention. I bent down and picked him up. He seemed happy to be held like that so I kept him in that position as I wondered towards the Doctor.
I had so many questions I wanted to know and I'm sure she has too. But now was not the time for that. We needed to get these spiders to their new home. I continued to watch the Doctor as she danced around something she called a console. She was pressing buttons and pulling levers and many more things until the ship made a strange wheezing noise and I was thrown off my feet. Thankfully I was caught by someone. I looked up and saw an oldish man.
"Hello Love! I can tell this your first time here. We all fell down when she first did that with us. You learn to find something to grab onto. I'm Graham by the way." Graham spoke gently but loudly over the noise of the ship. I couldn't help but giggle, my grandad used to call me Love too.
Then as quick as the ship started, it came to a gentle stop. I looked around and notice the same 2 people from earlier. The girl was smiling and laughing to something the boy mentioned. They must be old friends. I then noticed the Doctor walk towards the doors and open them just enough for her to check outside.
"Right (n/n). I'm calling you that as we are friends now. Go on, it's your first new planet and you care about these spiders more than we do so I think it's best if you check everything it perfect for them!" The Doctor spoke with excitement. She even clapped her hands for a moment, obviously not being able to control the surge of energy running through her.
I held the spider in my arms and the doors opened in front of me. I closed my eyes for a moment as the light blinded me temporarily. I could feel the warmth of a sun and the cool breeze the gently whipped past your face giving you the perfect cooling needed. The planet smelled sweet yet sour like Toxic waste sweets. I could hear many creatures making strange noises, some were doing a high pitched growl and some others were doing deep scream. Then there were nicer sounds like birds tweeting but in a lower key and something sounded like a piano, specifically an old ragtime piano.
I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the silver sky and its 4 suns in each direction. I noticed that the high pitched growl was from a small flying frog like creature and the deep scream was from a big rabbit- horse like creature that was just chewing the purple leaves off the metal looking trees. The bird like sound belonged to a small Robin like creature, but instead of a red chest it was a beautiful blue hue and it had silver eyes that sparkled just right. The Ragtime piano sound belonged to a dog-raccoon like creature that scampered away with its mouth full of the fallen berries that the rabbit-horse dropped from the leaves. The grass beneath was as black as ink and the pond to the right of me was a strange red colour.
"Well what do ya think? I personally think it's perfect but you seem to know these arachnids better than me so, I could be wrong, although, I'm not often" The Doctor spoke with eagerness. I noticed her looking at me as I took in the world around me. Why does this feel all too familiar to me? Why do I like the escapism of Earth? Why is this so, freeing?
I took a deep breath in. "Its perfect Doc. The spiders will love it here! They'll adapt pretty quickly I believe. The creatures are big enough to satisfy them. Although the sounds are a little off putting." I put the spider in my arms in the oddly cotton soft grass and watched as the thousands of others followed in its footsteps. Some carried the baby spiders and others carried the eggs. They had already found a cave to lay the eggs and started weaving some webs within 10 minutes.
Once I was happy with everything, I said my goodbyes and entered the strange ship once more. I could feel fresh tears sting my eyes like tiny hot needles. I get so attached so quickly and I noticed the string warm up and I checked on my soulmate, she was looking at me with an all too familiar look, the look of complete adoration. So the string tells me when her love for me evolves until we kiss? I mean, that's when it disappears for everyone else.
"This was great Sunshine! I had a ride of a lifetime, I really did. So I guess, you can drop me off home, I'm probably not wanted and I don't wanna ruin your team dynamic here."
"Why on Earth would you think that? I was actually wondering if you'd like to join us. Those spiders trusted you and having someone like you would really make the adventures more thrilling. Besides, I really like you and there's something special about you and I can't place my finger on it. I don't like not knowing things. If I drop these off home for a bit, would you mind if I ran some tests on you?"
"Really? Sure. I don't mind. I actually wanna know aswell. You see, I know what's special but I don't want to tell you in front of the others, its a bit embarrassing." I asked whilst blushing. She nodded her head and set the TARDIS coordinates to Sheffield. The Doctor promised she'd be back in a week and set the TARDIS to float in our solar system whilst she got to work on me.
We walked into what I can assume is some sort of med Bay. The walk had conversations about the last planet and how we thought the spiders would adjust. Eventually she sat me down on a white bed.
"So, you said you knew why you were special. I don't like cliffhangers so I'll give you a custard cream if you tell me." She said as she got a paper document and waited for me to speak.
"I don't know how or why but have you ever heard of the red string of fate story?" I asked, wondering how to word this without sounding weird. She nodded her head in understanding. "Well, when I turned 16, I could see everyone's red strings. The world was covered in red. I was confused at first until I read that story."
"Hmm. That is interesting because all stories have some truth to them. Some are exaggerated and some are exactly as said. Well that story is a good example of that. Thousands of years ago, there were 2 species of human, homo sapiens and homo spectrians. Spectrians were low on numbers in population as they'd spend almost all their life playing match maker. You'd know Spectrians as Cupids. However when battles and wars happened, Cupids were out of a job as everyone had to focus on the country and not themselves. This is where arranged marriages started happening and Cupids were becoming depressed. Eventually the Cupids decided to blend in with the humans and became virtually extinct. You might be the only Cupid left in the universe, other than Valentine himself." She explained it so well.
"Can Cupids see their own string?" I asked. She paused for a moment. Her eyes flickered between heartbroken and hopeful. I felt the string flicker between cold and toasty warm just like her eyes.
"No. Cupids weren't supposed to have soulmates. But I guess you are technically half human so maybe that makes sense. Do you know who your soulmate is?"
"She's amazing. She's like a Goddess. When I first saw her I immediately thought, She's too fucking perfect for someone like me. She incredibly smart too but, can be oblivious. I mean, I only met her a few hours ago and I'm fucking smitten with her. She reminds me of sunshines and rainbows. I'm just waiting for her to make a move." I told her. She looked at me for a moment, processing this new information. She smirked for a moment once she figured it out.
"Well my soulmate had me wrapped around her finger the second she jumped in front of a spider to save her life. A bold move like that normally makes me mad but, she did it so well. I haven't known her long but I can see me being by her side forever, travelling the stars. She reminds me of those stars actually. The way she sparkles in the light. I love you (y/n) with both of my hearts." She spoke softly as we slowly leaned in. When she finished, she planted her soft lips on mine and the red string was gone. Not that I noticed until an hour later when we picked the team up and held hands to announce our relationship.
Maybe dating a sunshine is exactly who I needed.
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Will Wood: the Normal Album Sentence Starters
lines taken from the 2020 album. edit as desired. tw: violence, disordered eating, gender dysphoria, mental illness, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, death
01. Suburbia Overture: Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally
“Trick or treat. Merry Christmas.”
“Howdy neighbor!”
“Thank you Jesus!”
“It don’t look like survival, but buy now or die.”
“You’re not alone.”
“The lights are on, but no one’s home.”
“Takes a village to fake a whole culture.”
“Home is where the heart is- You ain’t homeless, but you’re heartless.”
“It’s the safest on the market.”
“You still gotta watch where you park it.”
“Give me your half-life crisis.”
“I can tell that you know where paradise is.”
“Parasites don’t care what your blood type is.”
“A snowflake only matters in a blizzard.”
“Everyone knows that nobody knows that.”
“Well, word gets around on hit number stations.”
“Smile and wave, boys, kiss the cook, live laugh and love, please pass the pills.”
“It’s only culture. It’s only culture. It’s only culture.”
“Didn’t they want your blood?”
“Why apologize when you turn blue and cold?
“Hey, fuck your culture.”
“Do you know the difference between blazing trails and slash-and-burn?”
“Hey, you’re only mortal.”
02. 2econd 2ight 2eer (well, that was fun, goodbye)
“The devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to.”
“Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis.”
“My third eye’s open and I like what I see.”
“If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see- ”
“But I got facts and I’m not afraid to use ‘em.”
“I’m getting better one forever at a time.”
“If sick is defined by what’s different, well then pull the plug out and let me die.”
”Who I am, I choose through all the things I do.”
“If it rhymes, it’s true, but I hate poetry.”
“Well that was fun, goodbye.”
03. Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)
“Have you ever died in a nightmare? Woke up surprised you hadn’t earned your fate?”
“Have you ever felt like Atlas, threw your back out on the axis, and collapsed and threw the planet away?”
“Nobody dies agnostic.”
“Nobody dies agnostic, but we still dial 9-1-1.”
“Am I really that bad?”
“Whatever you think of me, if you were in my shoes, you’d walk the same damn miles I do.”
“With my head up in the clouds, I can see so much ground.”
“From up here, you look like ants in a row.”
“It doesn’t take a killer to murder. It only takes the reason to kill.”
“The difference twixt fate and free will is whether you’re singing.”
“You wash your hands of where you’ve been until you flood the second floor. Neatly fold your skeletons, but still can’t shut the closet door.”
“The only ones in need of love are those who don’t receive enough.”
“You could break an angel’s fall, and ignore the Devil’s call.”
“It’s a small hell after all.”
“Man, no more than animal, is made of moral chemicals.”
“If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you.”
04. I / Me / Myself
“I’ve been feeling lightheaded since I lost enough weight to fit back in my skin.”
“Am I pretty now?”
“For some reason, I find myself lost in what you think of me.”
“I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend.”
“Am I pretty enough to lie to?”
“Just little old me in a big, big world.”
“I’ve been feeling lighthearted since I gained enough weight back to cover my bones.”
“You’ll be walking out early, but the show must go on.”
“No, I know that I’m wrong. But I love how you’re on my side when I cross that line.”
“It’s been a point of contention between myself and this body that they stuck me in.”
“The privilege of being born to be a man.”
”I am quantum physics; my witness brings me into existence.”
”Am I pretty enough to love back?”
“Am I pretty enough to fucking die?”
“I wish-”
“Don’t you think that there’s a chance that you could live without it?”
05. ...well, better than the alternative
“My daughter’s growing up. She’s gonna be a lot like me, but I don’t wanna be at all like me.”
“I don’t wanna be at all like me.”
“You’re telling me I’m holding up���eleven fingers.”
“Stranger things than death can happen.”
“Everybody knows that nobody knows that.”
“Everybody’s in on everybody’s business.”
“This isn’t my first Christmas, I know mistletoe when I see it.”
“Baby, could you play along with me?”
“Baby, would that be alright with you?”
“When we find out what’s wrong with me, could you tell me how I’m right for you?”
“Could you tell me how I’m right for you?”
“Could you tell me if I’m still pretty?”
“If they could see the future back when times were simple...”
“If everyone’s sick, well then, nobody can catch it.”
“Everybody’s all up in my god damn business.”
“This isn’t my first kiss.”
“It’s better to be lost than loved, now, isn’t it?”
“Everybody’s all up in my motherfucking business!”
“This isn’t my first anything.”
“After all of that’s been done to me, could you tell me how, could you tell me how, could you tell me—”
“What’s so wrong about what’s wrong with me?”
“I’m just trying to do what’s right by you!”
06. Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples
“Did you know that the hole in the apple didn’t come from the outside in? It was eaten from the core and out to the skin, and that’s why you’ll never find the worm in it.”
“The disease is defined by its treatment.”
“You people make me sick.”
“Who’d want to be human anyway?”
“Why’d you come into this world or come out that way?”
“Isn’t it funny? Well, not "ha-ha" funny, but y’know, funny.”
“I doubt that you would even if you could change.”
“You think it makes you special, but it makes you strange.”
“The things that make you special are the things that make you strange.”
“I am the shadows cast aside by gallows, and you the red-hot sky.”
“And if you’re believers, then why would you grieve for the dead, instead of a devil that you never prayed for?”
“Too weird to love, too scared to die. Too alien to take you home.”
“Who’d want to belong to anyone?”
“I mean, what do people even do?”
“If you love me, let me let you go.”
“Five more minutes, please? You wouldn’t believe the dream I just had.”
07. Black Box Warrior - OKULTRA
“Bless the torpedoes!”
“For what? For what??”
“For what it’s worth, if it was going to kill you, boy, it would have by now.”
“There’s no more looking back, it’s looking up or looking down.”
“Wonder if Christ-Consciousness would charge a cancellation fee.”
“Auf wiedersehn! Au revoir!”
“Hello, welcome. Why don’t you take a seat? Get comfortable, relax, take a second if you need to.”
“Now, what’s bothering you?”
“Well, why don’t we start at the beginning?”
“Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence?”
“Did you die before your day?”
“You got a better idea? It’s about the best we could come up with.”
“What, you think ideas spread because they’re good? No, they spread because people like them.”
“So here we are once again. Holding, as it were, a mirror up to your mirror.”
“I guess it’s just something people do!”
“You learn to be an animal instead.”
“I never did think you better than this.”
“It’s you who are the problem. Not the things you do, but something sick inside.”
“Boy, you really is defective.”
“Offer up your innocence, please ignore the side effects.”
“You’ve lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you’ll be fine!”
“Why would you want to look back? I mean, it’s no good looking back. So try to look forward now.”
“For what it’s worth, if they were gonna get you boy, they would have by now.”
08. Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave.
“They could prescribe you any illness you’d like if you define the terms of your ailments.”
“A crow don’t know the smell of carbon monoxide.”
“How many years have you been on that couch?”
“Your draw a line in the sand where it ends and you begin, but the tide rolls in, so who knows?”
“A little identity never hurt nobody, but lately you’ve been focusing too much on yourself.”
“How many milligrams of you are still left in there?”
“Back in my day, we didn’t need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists. We just drank ourselves to death. And god damn it, we liked it!”
“What’s a symptom, what’s a flaw, can it be both?”
“Well, I suppose that’s an answer.”
“Would you give up your humanity for just a touch of sanity?”
“They’ve discovered a cure for the symptoms of being alive. It’s a painless procedure with a low rate of failure, but very few patients survive.”
“And a little conformity never hurt nobody, but lately I’ve been worried that you’re losing yourself.”
“What’s my prognosis?”
“Disease is in the eye of the beholder.”
“Tell me ‘so it goes.’”
“Better safe than sorry, and we both know the danger.”
“So doctor, could you run another test?”
“If our harmonies don’t sync, we can change our voices.”
“Don’t heed no evil wills of moral nihilists.”
“Don’t you make me waste my breath.”
“GOD DAMN IT!”
“Does aspirin kill you with the pain?“
“You’re not your thoughts, you’re not your brain, you’re just the character you’ve made.”
“What seem like separate body parts come together to believe they’re you, and not just chemistry.”
“It’s not the way that you were raised, or what the advertisements say.”
“It’s not what you pay for, what you pray for, what you want, or what you say.”
“Something tells me that you need, forgive me now if I misspeak--”
“Something tells me you prefer to be sitting there flipping through those old issues of People.”
“Well, that’s our time. See you next week.”
09. Love, Me Normally
“In lipstick on the mirror are the lyrics to my obituary.”
“Crossing my eyes, dot my T’s.”
“I was delivered holding scissors.”
“I live deliberately, I’m a quitter.”
“I never agreed to participate in this game.”
“Won’t follow my dreams, cause they all got me waking up screaming.”
“I’d rather be normal. Yes, so normal.”
“I suggest that we keep this informal.”
“A normal human being wouldn’t need to pretend to be normal.”
“Well, I guess that’s the least that I owe ya.”
“C’mon, c’mon, and love me normally.”
“If I could live in third person, well, I don’t think life would be much worse than it is.”
“Is it courageous or escapist to leave the quarantine when you’re contagious?”
“It may just be a cold. And besides, I don’t wanna get old.”
“I drank myself to death to be the afterlife of the party.”
“When the afterparty came, I was rolling in my grave.”
“Now, this is the part of the song where I talk to my audience.”
“There’s something I want from you hepcats tonight.”
“I want you to look to your left. Look to your right. Your twelve o’clock, three o’clock, six o’clock, nine o’clock, rock around the clock tonight–”
“I want you to find those points of no return, those singularities, those burning rings of fire in the beautiful pupils and the beautiful eyes of the beautiful boy, girl, neither, both, or in-between that you brought with you tonight. And I want you to tell ’em how you really feel!”
“Jam that square peg in the round hole in their hearts!”
“You love them exactly the way that everybody else is.”
“I was nothing before, so I couldn’t have asked to be born. I’ll be nothing again, so what am I between now and then?”
“Is there nothing to fear? Cause shit’s getting weird.”
“So to God who made this man: you better have one hell of a plan.”
10. Memento Mori: the most important thing
“If you’re lucky you’ll be surrounded by the ones that you love, when the lights in your eyes fade and life flashes by.
“One day you’re going to die.”
“Heaven, hell, nirvana, nothing, no one knows how it ends.”
“Rest in peace— or pieces.”
“Read your horoscopes, your palms and tarot cards. But either way your destination ain’t very far.”
“You could drown, or choke, or burn, or be hit by a car.”
“What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but something will eventually.”
“One day you’ll look back at the life that you lead. No more future left to fear that you’ll have the past to regret.”
“But your worries will be over if you truly realize— one day you’re going to die!”
“Take it away, hands!”
“In the fabric of time and in the vastness of space, a billion amounts to nothing in infinity’s face.”
“Your life never mattered, so who cares if it's a waste?”
“Well, one day you’ll be not even a faint memory.”
“You’ll never know what it all means.”
“Just keep this in mind: that everything and everyone goes with the passage of time.”
“No need to fear, ’cause when it’s here, you won’t be alive.”
“Try not to think about it!”
“So if you only have one chance, you oughta try your best to live as you like.”
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And just for my records, I think I had the most profoundly disturbing dream of my life last night, about the sun failing. One of those dreams that wouldn’t be that disturbing to anyone I describe it to, and the physics was laughably illogical, but I’ve never experienced such a deep sense of existential dread inside a dream before. Probably one of those “you had to be there” experiences.
I’ve had dreams about serial killers after watching Forensic Files. I’ve had dreams of hauntings and demonic possessions after reading too many supposedly true ghost stories. But last night’s dream was the product of my fascination with astronomy. And that’s not something I’m willing to take a break from.
In my dream, I walked outside and noticed the lighting was wrong. It was like during an eclipse where everything is too dim but your shadow is still normal. I looked up at the sun, and it looked like Hoag’s Object. It was much bigger than it should have been, with the central part being a little bigger than a full moon, but it was dim enough that I could look right at it.
After a few minutes of panic, an emergency message was broadcast on all channels announcing that scientists at NASA had come up with a hypothetical way to study the sun’s core. They had discovered some sort of energy beam that would cause convective currents to dissipate. In my dream, the entire sun down to the edge of the core was convective. They thought if they zapped it at the sun, it would interfere with the convective layers and allow then to view the core directly. So they tried it without clearing it with the rest of the scientific community, and the beam completely shut down the sun’s convection. Not just the little spot they planned on, but the entire sun. What I could see up in the sky was the sun’s exposed core, the surrounding gas was now clear since it wasn’t producing light anymore, and the ring around the sun was the remnants of the sun’s corona. (Clearly my subconscious got really confused and squished together aspects of the sun, red dwarfs and white dwarfs, and the Trappist-1 system and how close those planets are to their sun. I’m actually a little embarrassed at how wrong the science was.)
So everyone started demanding they come up with a solution to fix the sun, and all they could come up with was maybe they could hit the sun with a nuke to restart the nuclear reactions, but it would take years for them to design and implement that plan, and they didn’t think they could produce an explosion big enough. And in the meantime, Earth was rapidly cooling. It was already feeling like late autumn outside and they expected the planet to go full Snowball Earth within twenty years. The dim light the sun’s core was putting out somehow couldn’t be used for photosynthesis by plankton, so the oceans were going to collapse by next year, and crops were going to start failing.
I went back outside and looked up at the sun again and started screaming for someone to please wake me up because this couldn’t be real. Then I had this epiphany that this was the solution to the Fermi Paradox: Every alien civilization eventually reached a point where they turned their sun off and their planet froze.
People started going crazy since everyone was going to die soon anyway. A big mob attacked our town and my sister and I were surrounded. Then this guy ran up to us and brandished this three-foot-tall sculpture made of metal plates and said it was an idol of a new god he had just discovered, and since science had betrayed us, the supernatural was our only hope. The mob attacked, and he started praying to his new god, and the sculpture zapped all the people trying to attack us. I started praying with him and briefly was able to shoot electricity out of my hands like the Emperor. After the mob fled, we got the rest of the town to form a circle and all started calling on the god, and up above us the sun’s core brightened for a few seconds, then dimmed again. The guy declared that the gods had forsaken us and all hope was truly lost, and he took his idol and left.
After that, the dream alternated between me discussing options with my sister, and going outside and begging someone to wake me up. We talked about finding the guy with the idol and getting the biggest group we could together to call on his god, but I eventually just sat down in the middle of a road and decided it was hopeless. There was no point in doing anything if we’d all be dead in twenty years. I was thinking about the books I want to write and how there was no point in that now. Every time I looked at the sun, I felt the same way I felt in the days after my father died, when I’d be kept up most of the night by panic attacks at the thought that he was gone forever. I didn’t know it was possible to feel that level of despair in a dream.
Eventually I started discussing suicide with my sister. We didn’t want to starve or freeze. Someone was handing out syringes of poison, and we each took one. But then I realized I’d have to put my chihuahua Rocky to sleep first because I refused to leave him by himself, and I just couldn’t do that. So we agreed we’d stay alive until Rocky died and then we’d end it. And then I realized I couldn’t find Rocky, and I was worried someone might try to eat him since there would be a food shortage soon, so my dream became one of those where you keep running and running but you never make any progress, and I kept looking up at the sun, consumed with the thought that everything was about to come to an end and all of human history was for nothing, and I just couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me.
And then my sister woke me up, and I have never been that happy to wake up in my life. I almost thanked her for waking me up, but then I realized I didn’t want to tell her about my dream. I just sat there and kept telling myself it was just a dream over and over, because no matter how bad and illogical the science was, no matter how backwards my mind got the details of how stars work, it had felt so real. I was going to sit with my sister while we ate supper, but I still felt so disturbed by the dream that I kept zoning out and staring off into space at nothing, so I decided to eat in my room alone.
I can point to a dozen little things from the past week that inspired the dream. Primarily it was based off my real fear of the future red giant phase of the sun - watching videos about it actually scares me. This week I had been thinking about a game called Outer Wilds that involves a time loop that always ends with their sun exploding, and while I think it looks interesting, the premise also stirs up my sense of existential dread. Other things were inspired by a song I had been listening to the previous night containing the line “I don’t want the sun to burn without you,” the Hadron Collider, stellar lifting (and probably several other things I learned about from Isaac Arthur that I’ll remember in the next few days), videos I’ve watched recently that discussed Snowball Earth and the evolution of plankton, the Chicxulub impact, that ongoing attempt to get a space probe to touch the sun with gravitational help from Venus that will take several years to complete, memories of my brother telling me scientists thought there might be a chance hydrogen bombs would ignite the atmosphere or the Van Allen belts but they blew them up anyway (never fact-checked that so don’t quote me), the concept of strange matter and how it could “infect” anything it touched, the danger of astrophysical jets from a supernova, and wondering if the sun could have habitable planets if it was fully convective like a red dwarf since the sun spins so slowly and a lot of those dangerous flares are a result of how fast red dwarfs spin. The weird supernatural elements were inspired by some stories I’ve been wanting to write lately, as well as my recent replay of the game Blue Fire with its very bleak setting and mythology. And a Youtuber I follow had recently read a creepypasta with a title that referenced solving the Fermi Paradox,
All in all, I would rather have a dozen nightmares about demons chasing me through the woods than one more nightmare based on science. I can still make myself shiver by focusing on how I felt when I looked up at the sun and realized the world was dying.
#Brevity is an alien concept to me#I wish I'd just dream about demons again#Sci-fi nightmares are so much worse
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Bares Bones {Theory 3} ⋇ Pope Heyward ⋇
find my complete masterlist and the first three parts here!
description: Pippa Cantu has always been a little…strange. With a knack for knowing everything there is to know about every conspiracy, every mystery, and every weird happening, she doesn’t have much time (or desire) for friends. But when her chemistry lab partner asks her to join him and his friends on a hunt for the Royal Merchant, she just can’t say no.
chapter summary: a gift is given and a discovery is made. Pippa starts to realize that the pogues are expecting something from her that she can’t give.
word count - 5.9k
warnings - light swearing, mentions of blood
a/n - So, I’m trying to figure out how to make this different from Ocean and Alcohol, since I went through many of the same scenes. I hope it’s different enough that yall don’t feel like you’re just reading the same story again haha. Also, I know there isn’t a lot about Pope and Pippa in this chapter, i’m sorry. Anyway, hope yall like it and thank you for your love and support!!
***
It was more than awkward walking back to the Wreck with just JJ. Pippa had hidden in the bushes until JJ came running out of the salvage yard. When it was clear that John B had found another way out, the two of them started silently down the main road.
“So,” JJ said, shoving his hands in his pockets and puffing out his cheeks. “Why’d you move out here?”
Pippa shrugged, her own hands in her pockets.
“Got tired of Manhattan,” she told him. “Needed something slower.”
“And now you’re on a treasure hunt.” JJ raised an eyebrow at her. Pippa shook her head ever so lightly with a small smile.
“Seems like it.”
“You’re not asking for a cut?”
“Don’t really need the money.”
“So why are you helping us?”
Pippa glanced over at him, contemplating telling the whole truth, but then she shrugged again.
“Pope asked me to.”
JJ seemed to take it well enough. They made small talk for a few more miles before JJ finally plucked up the courage to ask her what had been on his mind since they met.
“Hey, Pip?” He said, scowling at the ground. Pippa tried not to be shocked by the use of that nickname, but her throat still went dry. Swallowing felt like sand.
“Yeah?” She asked, voice croaky.
“What’s inside Area 51?”
Pippa wasn’t exactly sure what she had expected him to ask, but that certainly wasn’t it. She pinched her eyebrows together and tried not to let out a relieved laugh.
“There’s lots of theories about it,” she said to him, kicking a rock off the road with the toe of her shoe.
“Yeah, but what do you think is there?”
Pippa pressed her lips together and let out a sigh through her nose.
“You might laugh, but here’s what I’m thinking. You know all those conspiracy videos? Like the faked moon landing videos, the JFK videos, Ancient Aliens on the History channel?”
“Sure, yeah, I’ve seen a few of ‘em.”
“Well, I think that all those kinds of videos are filmed in Area 51.”
“What?” JJ laughed. Pippa lifted her hand as she tried not to smile.
“Wait, wait, just hear me out.” She waited until JJ nodded his head for her to talk again. “So, picture this. You get past the guards at the gate and all guns and the mines and what not and you break into the warehouse. You expect to see weapons and tanks or vats full of alien parts and a space ship. However, all you see is green screens and sets, props and costumes. All these suits standing behind cameras or with boom mics and some of them are dressed up as aliens. Yeah, that’s what I think is in Area 51.”
“You’re very strange.”
“Maybe you just need a better imagination.”
“Probably.”
It was just about dark by the time JJ and Pippa made it back to the Wreck. The van was out front, which wasn’t a surprise. Peering inside, Pippa could see John B, Pope, and Kie sitting at a table together, illuminated by a single candle. Pippa stopped where she stood, suddenly shivering against the cold. JJ walked a few feet before he realized that she had stopped.
“Aren’t you coming in?” He asked, pointing toward the front door. Pippa gave him a forced smile, feeling a pit start to form in her stomach. She glanced through the window and saw the others laughing about something or another, John B’s arm thrown carelessly over the back of Kie’s chair. Pippa tried not to cringe away.
“Nah, I should be getting home,” she said and gave him another forced smile. JJ looked back at his friends and then at you.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Just...tell Pope to keep me updated.”
“Okay. Have a safe walk home,” he said. Pippa nodded her head and shot up a thumbs up.
“Thanks, you too.” Pippa grimaced. “I mean...just...have a good night.”
JJ laughed quietly to himself and shook his head.
“Night, Pippa. Welcome to the crew.”
Pippa felt her fake smile slowly become something real.
“Night, JJ.”
Pippa turned away from JJ and the Wreck and started back toward the street. The sun was dipping farther and farther below the horizon, the world growing darker and darker. The street lights on Kildare often left something to be desired, but Pippa didn’t really mind the poorly lit streets. With her hand in one of her cargo pockets, she fiddled with the switchblade she carried around with her.
Her feet were sore and tired from walking all around the island, but Pippa had grown used to it. She skipped a little bit to pass the time, kicking the same rock all the way from Figure Eight to the cut. A few men watched her as she passed by, some making more than unsavory comments. Pippa had also grown used to ignoring them. And if any of them decided that just catcalling wasn’t enough, Pippa always had the blade in her pocket.
When she finally made it back to her Gran’s shop, Pippa’s eyes were half-closed and she was exhausted down to her bones. She passed through the shop, locking the door behind her, and made it up the stairs to the apartment above.
“Phillipa, my dear?” Gran was sitting in a rocking chair in the living room area.
“Yeah, it’s me, Gran,” Pippa said, dropping her bag onto the couch that she slept on every night. She flopped onto the bed after it, looking up at her gran.
“How was your day?” Gran asked, pushing herself out of the rocking chair. Pippa snored dramatically instead of responding. Gran laughed quietly, walking over to Pippa and placing a shaky hand against her forehead. “No cars?”
Pippa sighed and shook her head.
“No cars.”
Gran didn’t say anything, but simply patted Pippa’s forehead.
“You’ll get there someday,” she said, shuffling off toward the tiny kitchen.
“How is Yeye?” Pippa asked her as she got a glass of water.
“He is good,” Gran told her and let out a shaky breath. “We went for a walk around the block.”
Pippa smiled, closing her eyes and resting her hands over her chest.
“That’s good. I’m sure that was nice,” Pippa said, feeling herself start to slowly drift into sleep.
“It was.” Gran returned with the glass of water and handed it to Pippa, who sat up and crossed her legs, holding the glass in her hands. “Oh, a friend of yours called a little bit ago to check on you.”
Pippa scowled.
“I don’t have any friends,” she said, turning toward the end table to pick up the phone.
“I know.” There was a twinkle in Gran’s eye. “Must’ve come from Figure Eight. Only they have the power to make calls right now.”
“Did a voicemail go through?” Pippa asked her.
“Should. Phone’s only got a little bit of power left in it though, so don’t take too long.”
“Sure, Gran.”
Gran gave a wave and then shuffled off toward the bedroom where Yeye was probably already sound asleep. Pippa clicked the voicemail button.
“Hey, Pippa, it’s Kie,” a voice came from the other end.
“And Pope!” came another. Pippa smiled to herself with the phone to her ear.
“JJ said you walked home so we wanted to make sure you got home safe. I don’t even know if this will go through, but we’re going out to the water tomorrow to search for the Merchant. Meet us at John B’s.” Pippa scrambled for a paper as Kie rattled off an address. “Anyway. Have a good night.”
“See you tomorrow!” Pope called out. Then the line went dead. The battery on the phone blinked. There wouldn’t be time for a return call, especially if she wanted to be able to receive more calls from them later.
“Goodnight,” she whispered to the phone before setting it back on the charger that wouldn’t do anything as long as the power was out. Pippa stayed awake for long enough to drink her water, not even caring to change before laying down, pulling the blanket over herself, and falling fast to sleep.
***
Pippa sat on the railing of the dock, hanging her legs over the side. Her loose fitted long sleeve blustered in the wind. Pope and JJ were fiddling with mechanics of the drone as Kie and John B tested it out below the water. Excitement brewed inside of Pippa almost as quickly as the storm in the sky. Even if she didn’t believe the gold was still on the wreck, finding the Merchant would be a great achievement.
She’d be proud. A voice inside Pippa’s head whispered. The thought made Pippa smile.
“God bless geeks, Pope,” JJ said, staring at the little screen. Pippa leaned back to watch the screen too. “Truly man.”
“What would we do without you to control all our drones,” Pippa teased, putting the back of her hand against her forehead and kicking her feet out farther.
“It’s not a drone, Pippa,” Pope said gently. “It’s an ROV.”
“Right,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Shut up,” JJ said as John B and Kie surfaced. “It’s way too early for that.”
“Once we get footage of the wreck, we’ll bring it to a lawyer in town and file a formal claim,” John B said, a smile on his face as he breathed heavily. He brushed his wet and matted hair out of his eyes.
“Bullshit,” JJ said, leaning against the rail that Pippa was sitting on.
“No, it’s not. It’s very important,” she told him.
“Why?”
“The maritime salvage law,” Pope said, leaning on the other side of Pippa. She pointed at him and nodded her head. “You can’t just go to the ocean floor and scoop a bunch of stuff up.”
“I know, but lawyers aren’t cheap, bro,” JJ said. Pippa shifted her lips. That much was true. It was always something she thought about when it came to fulfilling her discovery dreams. But John B seemed to have an answer for it.
“Once they see the footage, they’ll work for a comp,” he said.
“Says who?” asked Kie as she treaded water a few feet away from him.
“My dad.”
John B’s eyes flitted away from Kie and toward Pippa for just a moment, who looked suddenly down at her feet.
“That’s fair.”
Kie swam toward the dock, grabbing hold of the ladder.
“This tether is like really, really long. In the wrong weather, it could get pushed around,” Pope announced, looking up at John B. Pippa leaned down and offered a hand out to Kie to help her all the way onto the dock.
“Then we’ll go at dead calm,” John B said as he neared. As if on cue, the clouds in the sky let out a deep rumble. Pippa flattened her lips into a straight line. JJ moved around to the side of the dock to look up at the sky.
“Slack tide?” Kie suggested, drying off her hair with a towel.
“Now what?” Pippa asked and slid off the rail back onto the solid ground of the dock.
“Now, we just gotta wait around for the right weather.”
Pippa groaned.
“Today is not that day.”
***
With a plan to meet back at the Chateau the next morning, Pippa bade everyone her goodbye and started back toward her house. The backpack she always wore weighed heavily on her shoulders and she wasn’t so sure she really wanted to walk all the way home. Especially if it meant walking all the way back the next morning.
Sometimes, her fear of cars was very unfortunate.
Just as she was stepping onto the road, she heard someone call her name. Turning around, she found Kie running up to her, once again fully clothes. Her wet hair was tied up in a loose bun, though strands still fell, framing her face perfectly.
“What are you up to the rest of today?” Kie asked, putting her hands in her pockets. Pippa shifted back and forth on her feet, tugging on the edges of her sweater.
“Oh, I was just gonna go to the library, do some research for tomorrow,” Pippa said and tried to give her a smile.
“There’s no need.” Kie waved her hand. “We’ll find the Merchant tomorrow, get the lawyer, and everything will be squared away. You don’t have to do any more research today.”
“What if the gold isn’t there, though,” Pippa said, finally vocalizing her concerns. “Sure, finding the wreck itself will probably earn us some cash, but if the gold isn’t there it has to be somewhere else.”
“The gold will be there, Pippa,” Kie said with a soft smile. She stepped forward. “Come on, let’s go out and get some ice cream or something. Tomorrow, we’ll be kings.”
Pippa hesitated. She was used to being alone. In fact, she preferred it that way. But part of her knew that if she turned Kie down now, that loneliness that followed her around like a shadow would grow stronger. And there was no telling what would happen to her acquaintanceship with Pope if she denied his best friend one trip to the ice cream shop.
She deliberated with herself for a few more moments before nodding finally.
“Sure. Ice cream sounds good.”
Kie grinned, her pearly white teeth shining brightly. Pippa felt like, for the first time in a long while, she had done the right thing.
Pippa dropped her backpack off at John B’s house, the Chateau, they all called it. Why his name got a fancy name for his house, Pippa would never know. Maybe she should start walking around calling her Gran’s apartment something special.
As she was walking back toward the tree where Kie was waiting for her, Pippa caught a glimpse of a girl talking to John B. With her blonde hair and her short shorts, Pippa recognized her almost immediately. Everyone who was anyone knew Sarah Cameron. Of course, Pippa was a nobody, but she knew Sarah Cameron all the same. Seeing her at the Chateau, seeing her talk to John B, was strange, out of place.
Pippa was still scowling when she walked back over to Kie.
“Pippa, what is it?” the other girl asked. Pippa rolled her shoulders.
“Is there any reason Sarah Cameron would be talking to John B?” At the sound of the girl’s name, Kie went suddenly rigid.
“Sarah’s here?” Kie asked, her voice raising an octave.
“Um, yeah.” Pippa pointed back toward the house with her thumb. “Just saw her talking with John B.”
Kie paled and grabbed Pippa by the wrist, pulling her toward the street.
“We’re going now,” was all she said. Pippa felt herself start to smile.
“What is it about Sarah Cameron that makes you want to run so badly?” She teased, hoping maybe to probe some information out of Kie.
“Why do you keep saying her full name?” Kie asked, her voice a little snappish. Pippa shrugged even as Kie kept dragging her along behind.
“It has a nice ring to it.”
Kie pulled Pippa along until she was breathing heavily.
“What’s your problem with her?” Pippa asked once Kie had slowed down. Kie’s face was red and she looked flustered.
“She’s a….a…,” Kie grumbled and crossed her arms across her chest. “She thinks she owns the world, that everyone has to bow at her feet and if they don’t, she turns on them.”
Pippa felt awkward all of the sudden. She was out of practice when it came to comforting someone when they were upset.
“So, you don’t like her?”
“Not in the least bit,” huffed Kie. Pippa thought she might have heard something under Kie’s anger that sounded like sadness. There was a deeper story between the two girls, but Pippa wasn’t surprised that Kie would be hesitant to tell her about it.
“Let’s just get that ice cream, yeah?”
Kie dropped the angry and irritable look and smiled once again.
“That sounds like a wonderful idea.”
Kie took Pippa to a place on Figure Eight that she had never been to. It was a small shop, with only a few indoor seating options and it seemed relatively calm. Kie had a specific order that she knew off the top of her head, but Pippa had to sit there and think about it for a little bit longer. She eventually decided on a simple waffle cone and two scoops of chocolate cinnamon ice cream.
The two of them went outside and found a table to sit and eat. They ate in silence for a while until Kie started asking questions.
“So, how’d you meet Pope?” Chemistry class. “How long have you been friends?” I wouldn’t really say we’re friends…. “How long have you lived here?” Since last summer. “Do you miss your parents?” Sometimes. “What was school like in Manhattan?” Bigger, but mostly the same. “What got you into all the conspiracy stuff?” A friend. “What’s your favorite book?” The Chronicles of Narnia. “Who do you live with?” My Gran, my Yeye, and our cat, Fidget. “You like cats?” Yeah, they’re low maintenance. “I like cats too.”
The questions came almost rapid-fire. Even if Pippa wanted to give longer answers, which she didn’t, Kie didn’t give her the chance to.
“I kinda feel like we’re on one of those timed date things,” Pippa laughed before taking a short lick of her ice cream. She could see Kie’s cheeks darken with a blush, but the girl rolled her eyes instead of saying anything.
Kie took up talking, telling Pippa how she met the Pogues, what living on Kildare had been like, going to the Kook academy. Pippa sat quietly and listened. Long after the ice cream was gone, Pippa and Kie sat there in the sun, chatting quietly.
Pippa would never have let herself admit that it was the first time in a long while that it almost felt like she had a real...friend.
“Hey, so, I was wondering why you walked everywhere,” Kie said, picking at her napkin. Pippa felt that warm feeling start to fade into something colder, like stone. She dropped her hands into her lap and pursed her lips.
“Oh, um. I don’t really like...cars,” Pippa said and then cringed to herself. Kie noticed her discomfort on the topic and dropped it quickly. She smiled and gave her shoulders a light shrug.
“Hey, if we stop by my house, I’ve got a longboard that you can have. That way you don’t have to walk everywhere,” she said. Pippa looked up at met Kie’s eyes, once again feeling her stone hard heart in her chest start to soften.
“That...that would actually be really helpful. Thanks, Kiara.”
“Oh, none of that ‘Kiara’ shit,” the girl across from her said with a laugh. “All my friends call me Kie.”
Pippa felt her face flush. That word, ‘friend’. It had been a while since she felt like she could call someone a friend and it would take more than an ice cream date, a longboard gift, and a nickname for Pippa to feel comfortable using it. So, she just smiled and nodded her head.
They stood and Kie started to head off toward her house, starting the rapid fire questions once again. Pippa wasn’t sure how much Kie could possibly learn from her in that short amount of time other than the little things like her favorite color or her favorite place to vacation.
“This is it,” Kie said, smiling up at her home. “Do you want to come inside?”
For as much as Pippa had seen of Figure Eight, she expected all the houses to be extravagant greek-esque villas. But Kie’s house was relatively modest for a rich kid house. It overlooked the ocean, with a small beach just across the street. There were more windows than walls, at least, it seemed that way from the front.
“Oh, no, I should be getting home,” Pippa said, taking a step away from the home. Kie raised an eyebrow and Pippa just gave a gentle smile. Kie seemed to understand. Stepping into the threshold of someone else’s home was a level of comfort that Pippa simply wasn’t ready for just yet.
“Okay. Wait here and I’ll go get you that board. You know how to ride?” Kie asked. Pippa nodded.
“I had a board back in Manhattan,” she said, her voice quiet. There was a question on Kie’s face, something like ‘why didn’t you bring it with you?’. But Kie didn’t ask. She just gave a smile.
“Alrighty then.” Kie turned toward her house and jogged inside. Pippa shoved her hands in her pockets, rolling back and forth on her toes while she waited. The door opened again and she expected it to be Kie who walked back out, but it was a woman instead.
“Are you Pippa?” the woman asked with a large smile on her face. Pippa nodded her head, trying to smile despite the rigidness she felt. “My name is Anna. I’m Kiara’s mom.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Pippa said.
“You keeping Kiara and the boys out of trouble?” She crossed her arms over her chest, never once letting her smile fall.
“Trying to.” Pippa curled her hands into fists but tried to cover it up.
“I’m just glad there’s another girl around.” Anna Carrera let out an uncomfortable laugh. “I get nervous, Kiara hanging around those boys all the time.”
Pippa scowled.
“They’re all just friends, Mrs. Anna, I can assure you. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Kie’s mom opened her mouth again, but before she could say anything, Kie stepped out of the front door. She paused, raising an eyebrow behind her mom’s head before looking over at Pippa.
“I see you’ve met my mom,” Kie said, startling her mom.
“Kiara!” she turned toward her daughter and smiled. “I was just saying hi.”
“Welp, you’ve said hi and now it’s time for us to go,” Kie said, stepping past her mom, the longboard in her hands. “I’m going back to John B’s and I’m gonna spend the night.”
“Kiara-”
“Bye, mom!” She trotted down the stairs toward Pippa, who greeted her with a forced smile. Her mom sighed but said goodbye to her daughter all the same.
Kie handed the longboard off to Pippa, who tucked it under her arm as they started back toward the Chateau.
“What did she want to know?” Kie asked, fiddling with her fingers.
“She asked if I was watching out for you and the boys.”
Kie let out a heavy sigh.
“She and my dad don’t like that I hang out with them,” Kie told Pippa after a few moments. “They think I’m spending too much time with the wrong crowd.”
Pippa hummed. She didn’t want to think about what her mom and dad would say if she was hanging out with a boy who had a gun, a boy with what seemed like a permanent bruise on his eye, and a boy who was only partially reluctant to commit crimes for his friends. Still, she didn’t say anything.
“They just don’t get that the pogues are my only friends and that I don’t really want anyone else.” Kie let out another sigh. “I guess with you hanging out with us, my parents might be a little bit more comfortable.”
Pippa nodded her head slowly, looking down at her feet. She wasn’t really sure what to say. Once the search for the gold and the wreck was over, she was going back to her usual routine of not talking to anyone. She just wasn’t really sure how to break it to her just yet.
“Here,” Kie said, a smile forming on her face. “If you left your board back home, you’re probably a little rusty. Let me help you.”
Pippa rolled her eyes, taking the challenge.
“Please. I could skate the streets of Manhattan no problem. Your flat ass roads here are no problem,” Pippa said, setting the board on the ground.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Go on then.”
“Watch the pro at work, Kiara.”
***
“Ow, ow, ow. Shit, shit, shit,” Pippa hissed, hopping on one leg up to the house. Behind her, Kie was holding the board and laughing with a hand on her stomach.
“What happened to being a pro?” She asked as Pippa leaned up against the wall of the Chateau. Blood dripped down her leg from a large gash in her knee. Pippa sent a glare Kie’s way before limping toward the front of the house.
“Kie? That you?” John B came walking out of the house and looked over and saw Pippa. “Oh. Hi.”
“Hi again,” Pippa said with a light grimace. “I’m just here to grab my bag and then I’m outta your hair.”
“No way!” Kie said, walking up to and ducking underneath Pippa’s arm to help her walk toward the house. “We’ll get you cleaned up.”
“It’s okay, really,” Pippa said, just as hesitant to go inside John B’s house as she was to go inside Kie’s. John B watched Kie and Pippa for a few moments.
“I’ll go grab the first aid kit,” he said, walking back inside. Kie dropped Pippa into a chair on the front porch. Pippa looked down at the gash on her knee and let out a low hiss.
“That’s a pretty nasty one,” Kie said, kneeling in front of her.
“Pippa?”
She looked up to see Pope and JJ rounding the corner. Pope was dripping wet and there was dried blood on his upper lip. She scowled and Pope gave her a single shake of his head. She wasn’t supposed to mention it.
“What’s going on here?” JJ asked as he hopped up the stairs to the porch.
“Pippa fell off her board,” Kie said, smacking Pippa’s hands away as she tried to poke her new cut.
“Oof,” JJ said. “Looks painful, Pip.”
Pippa nodded her head.
“Thanks for the empathy.”
Pope flopped into the chair next to Pippa and let out a heavy breath. She looked over at him and tried to ask him without asking him if he was okay. Pope gave her a short nod.
“I’m gonna grab a beer. Anyone else want one?” JJ asked, walking toward the front door.
“Hey, wait!” Kie stood and ran after JJ, leaving Pope and Pippa alone.
“So, what happened to you?” Pippa asked, leaning forward to look at her knee.
“I was gonna ask you the same question.” Pippa looked at Pope with raised eyebrows and he let out a heavy sigh. “Topper and Rafe jumped me on my delivery today.”
“Those bastards,” Pippa seethed, pushing herself up onto her wobbly legs. “I’m going to kill them.”
“Pippa, relax,” Pope said, pulling her back into her chair. She complied with a huff. “JJ and I handled it.”
Pippa rolled her eyes.
“Like that’s supposed to make me feel any better.”
“I’m fine, Pippa,” he said finally. She narrowed her eyes at him, but finally conceded. She sighed and leaned her head back against the chair.
“I got jumped by a rock,” she said, motioning down to her knee. Pope felt himself smile.
“I can see that.”
“Yup. And Kie won’t let me just go home and bandage myself up there.”
“I should hope not.”
John B came walking out with a scrambled together first aid in his hands. Behind him came Kie and JJ, both carrying beers. The first boy dropped to his knees in front of Pippa and started to pull open the bandaids.
“Woah, there,” Pippa said, trying to stop him. “I can put on my own bandaids, thank you.”
“You come to my house all bloodied up, you bet your ass I’m the one bandaging you,” John B said with a glare that told Pippa if she tried to argue, he’d make her go home with no bandages whatsoever.
“Why don’t you just stay the night?” JJ asked, popping open his beer while he munched on some old crackers.
“My grandparents don’t usually vibe with me not coming home,” Pippa said, giving her hair a shake. “Gran stays up until I’m safe in bed, so.”
“Maybe next time,” Kie said. The girl was definitely starting to see a pattern about Pippa and she was starting to figure her out. Even if she didn’t know why Pippa was keeping her distance, Kie understood and wasn’t going to push.
John B patched up Pippa’s knee, giving her leg a gentle tap before he stood.
“You’re good to go,” he said. “We’ll see you here tomorrow morning, right?”
Pippa stood after him.
“You betcha.” She walked over to her bag and pulled it onto her back.
“You want a beer for the road?” JJ asked, holding out a beer for her. Pippa shook her head.
“It’s easier for aliens to kidnap you when you’re tipsy,” Pippa said. “Gotta keep the brain sharp.”
Kie rolled her eyes playfully, but JJ’s eyes widened.
“Wait, are you serious?” Pippa shrugged with a knowing smile. “What about weed? Weed can’t make us more…”
“As long as you’re wearing a tinfoil hat, you should be fine,” Pippa said, patting JJ on the shoulder. JJ finally got the joke and he glared at her. “See you guys later.”
“Adios, Pip.”
“Bye!”
“Get home safe.”
“Yeah, see you later.”
Pippa plucked up her board and started for the street once again. She put the longboard on the ground, hopping up, and let gravity pull her down the small hill.
***
The next morning, they were out in the water on the boat, a quiet storm sneaking up on them. Kie and Pippa stood and watched the rope, JJ drove the boat, while John B and Pope watched the screen.
“We’re at 800 feet,” Pippa called. “We should be getting close.”
Pope threw out a Hobbit quote that would have made Pippa laugh if she wasn’t so excited about seeing the Merchant for the first time. John B kept calling out directions for JJ, who moved the boat accordingly. Pippa clung to the side of the boat, helping Kie keep track of the feet. Her mind was running like wild. She couldn’t keep focused on anything else.
Finding this ship, it was all she could think about for months. Maybe things might go back to normal if she found it. Maybe that carved out hole in Pippa’s chest might start to fill. Maybe Pippa could finally start to heal.
With every second, the water was getting choppier, the wind getting rougher, the clouds getting darker. Thunder rumbled and Pippa looked up, wind whipping at her hair.
“JJ, we’ll turtle in this storm!” John B called. JJ grumbled some unsavory words to himself as he turned the wheel. “Pope, how are we doing?”
“Almost there,” Pope mumbled.
“There’s too much current,” Kie said, struggling with the line. Pippa grabbed hold of the line to help her pull it back into position.
“We’re not gonna lose it,” Pippa mumbled to herself, pulling with all of her might.
“What do you got, Pope?” John B asked. “Come on, man. What do you see?”
“Nothin, a whole lot of nothin,” Pope said. Pippa scowled into the water, hoping that she could maybe see 900 feet down and see the ship herself.
“You should be right above it.”
“Kie?” Pope called over.
“960!” She replied. “970, 980!”
“I’m at the bottom!” Pope yelled out suddenly, making Pippa jump. Excitement curdled in her stomach, turning into something heavier, something more anxious. If it wasn’t here, Pippa didn’t know what she was going to do. It had to be here. It had to be.
Kie and Pippa tied off the line and ran back to the screen where Pope and John B were waiting to see something.
The screen was green and murky. It was impossible to see anything. Pippa tapped her foot on the bottom of the boat, her fingers drumming against the box that the screen rested on. Something dark started to form in all that greenness. Pippa’s heart dropped to her stomach. The closer the ROV got, the wider the smile that grew on her face.
“Oh, good God,” Pope breathed.
“What is it?” JJ asked behind him. “What do you see?”
“It’s the Royal Merchant.”
Pippa covered her mouth with her hands, unable to even blink as the tall, barnacle covered mast came into view. Her heart pounded in her chest at the sight of it and tears gathered in her eyes.
“There she is,” Pippa whispered, her voice breaking. Instinctually, Pippa put her hands on John B’s shoulders and gave him a tight squeeze. “They’d be so proud.”
John B looked back at her and for a moment, she thought it would be with the same sour expression he always had in her presence, but then he grinned. Pippa found that she was smiling back. John B grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. Pippa was shocked at first, letting out a confused laugh.
“Thank you,” he whispered to her. Pippa patted John B’s back slowly, glancing over at Pope and Kie, who were also smiling.
“Of course, bud,” she said before pushing John B away from her as gently as she could manage.
“JB,” Pope said. “We’ve got a problem.”
John B and Pippa both returned to the screen, their smiles faded.
“What is it?” John B asked.
“No gold.” Pope pressed his lips together. John B let out an aggravated sigh. Pippa just shook her head gently.
“I knew it,” she whispered. Gold or no gold, she was still in awe of the ship. “Pope, can you take pictures of this?”
“Sure, but why? There’s no gold here,” he said, clicking a few buttons. Pippa shook her head, but couldn’t tear her eyes from the screen.
“I don’t care about the gold.”
“Can we do another run?” John B asked. Pope nodded his head and went through the ship again taking pictures as he went. Still, there was no gold. A single tear slipped down Pippa’s face. She tried to wipe it away, but Pope looked up and saw before she could brush it away with her sleeve.
They went over the wreckage from different angles, Pope taking pictures as he went. Eventually, John B let out an aggravated growl, running his hands through his hair.
“It’s okay,” Pippa said, sniffing and standing up straighter. “We can still find it.”
“How?” He asked her, his voice tight.
“Denmark Tanny,” was all she said. John B scoffed and plopped himself on the floor of the boat. He pulled his hood over his head and dropped his chin to his chest.
“We should head back before the storm gets any worse,” Kie said, looking up at the sky.
“Pippa?” Pope looked over to his friend, who turned her face back to the screen. Her eyes glittered with tears once again. She breathed deeply, relishing in the last few moments of looking at the wreckage.
“Yeah,” she said finally with a sad sigh. “Yeah, we should head back.”
Kie walked toward the edge of the boat to start pulling up the ROV. Pippa kept her eyes on the screen the whole time, watching the wreckage start to fade back into the murky water. That burning sensation in her eyes and the thrumming in her chest never went away.
~~~
tagging - @simonsbluee, @parkerpetertingle, @diverrdown, @ponyboys-sunsets, @outerbanksbro, @kikifromtheblock, @sunflowerbecca, @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch, @lost-cause-land, @apoguecalledjj, @abbiesthings, @outerbankslut, @sexualparkour,
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#outer banks fic#obx fic#pope heyward fic#pope heyward outer banks#pope heyward obx#pope heyward x oc#pope obx#pope outer banks#pope fic#pope x oc#pope fluff#pope angst#outer banks fluff#obx netflix#outer banks netflix
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Recruited: Chapter 3
[I finally finished this. I knew because it had combat in it, it would take me a bit longer, but surprisingly, that part wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. And was pretty fun to write. :3
Anyway, long one here but we’re makin’ progress!]
Nabooru
Only Nabooru’s innate sense of direction and memory from Zarbon’s tour helped her find her way back to her room once she came to after the procedure, and the numbers that once seemed foreign on the pad next to her door felt as innate as if she learned them alongside her basic arithmetic in her youth back home. A sign the chip worked, if nothing else. Small and windowless, her room was as inviting as a prison cell and only half a foot remained between her fingertips and each wall when she spread them out. The bed in the corner at least looked long enough, but was less than half as wide as that she slumbered in back home, and a press of her palm on the thin mattress made her miss the plush pillows and blankets that cradled her along with the feather-filled mattress all the more. A counter spanned along the wall across the foot of the bed adjacent to the door and she rested her bag there where she would unpack it at a later, more wakeful time.
Had she not sat on the edge of her bed and considered whether she had the energy to strip down before falling asleep, she noted the set of mirrored double doors across from her. Curiosity defeated her drowsiness and, with the press of the button, she opened it up. Inside, she found spare changes of her uniform in the same colors and styles as well as a few sets of a drab gray fabric. Unfolding them revealed them to be sleepwear of sorts with shorts in the same style and fabric as her armor and a sleeveless top that, when she swapped her armor out for the new outfit, found the top to be looser and more comfortable for sleep than the skin-tight battle suit. The top was a little on the short side, a quarter of her toned midriff on display, but, even if she did care, she didn’t have the capacity to consider taking it up with Zarbon or anyone else.
The sleep Nabooru managed could only be attributed to the residual drugs left in her system as her nerves over not understanding how to tell time woke her several times. After the third, she fought the remnants of exhaustion and remained awake, changing back into her uniform and heading to the classroom where she would begin her lessons. Sunshine or something like it eventually glimmered through the window, but she could only guess how long she waited there in the empty space, fiddling with the device fitted to the side of her head in the meantime.
A signal sounded what she guessed was the first meal and, after another half hour, perhaps, the whir of the door pulled her from a confusing rabbit hole of commands she had sifted through on the scouter. A short, squatty alien with yellow-splotched orange skin and at least a half dozen tentacled arms dangling around him like a frilled collar shuffled into the room, casting her little more than a haughty, disapproving glance through watery and bulging eyes. He introduced himself as Plumme and steamrolled straight into the first lesson. Despite his demeanor, Plumme proved more patient than she expected. Still, by the time the signal for the second meal sounded through the complex, her head was pounding from hours of cramming nonstop and new information about the technology she would become familiar with, how the business worked, the history of the Cold Empire and the PTO, and the limitless depths of space.
Once dismissed until the same time the next morning, she trudged to the mess hall, using both her memory and the map function in her scouter for practice in using it outside of lessons. With a full afternoon of training--a far more exciting prospect than her morning regimen--she would need her strength. She ignored the expected stares and not-so-discrete comments about her looks or newbie status in favor of focusing on the array of strange foods and scents laid out along the line and piling them onto her tray as others in front of her did. She skirted around the tables and soldiers to commandeer an empty one. With limited time, she didn’t fuss with what she shoved into her mouth, only sliding something to the side if it threatened to lurch back up before it could make it to her belly.
Out of both excitement for the prospect of training her combat skills over bombarding her mind and concern over the consequences of being late, she followed the example of other soldiers in disposing of her scraps and tray and hurried back to the classroom where she was instructed to meet her trainer. From there, they would take her to a training area of their choice. Plumme suggested it would be one of the multiple training rooms with infinite virtual simulations for any combat situation one could dream up. Convenient, artificial, and efficient, as everything seemed to be there.
When she turned the last corner, she couldn't help but snort at the irony of who she found leaned against the wall outside of the classroom. The fluorescent lights overhead reflected off his bald dome, and his folded arms over his broad chest and frown that followed the growth of his mustache denoted less than excitement for the task set to him. She supposed she would have a hard time heeding Zarbon's warning to stay away from him and his cohorts--Saiyans, he called them--if he was to instruct her for the next month.
Turning his head, his sour expression melted away, a smirk replacing it in a split second. "I was beginning to think you chickened out," he said as she halted by his side. "Would have been unfortunate considering we don't get many lookers like you around here."
Nabooru's eyelids lowered, and she considered putting him through the wall. Not five seconds into their first meeting and he already had the gall to flirt with her. "I noticed. I haven't seen one person around here that isn't a total eyesore." Recognition dawned slow over his features, and Nabooru adopted his smirk in light of it. Before he could retort, she cut him off. "So you're the one training me, huh? Where are the other two who were with you?"
"Sure am. I'd be more upset about another nanny gig if they had shoved anyone else on me. Looks aside, your power level is something else for a new recruit, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in seeing what you're made of. Frieza said your people are similar to Saiyans, too. Now I get a front row seat to see just how well that holds up." He turned and signaled for her to follow with a crook of two large fingers. "You mean Vegeta and Raditz? Off on some job or other s'far as I know. I'm sure they'll be missing me when they realize how much slack they have to pick up. And jealous when they find out I get to spend half a day with you instead of having to look at their ugly mugs."
Nabooru bit her tongue to stifle a sassy retort, deciding it best to stay on his good side for the time being. He seemed easy-going enough, but she wanted to get the most out of her training, not give him reason to sabotage it. "Guess you're getting a nice little vacation then until I get to beat the tar out of you in a spar," she said, grinning in the face of the sneer he shot her. So much for not poking the molduga. "What do you have planned for me, er...what should I call you?"
"Master Nappa has a nice ring to it." They halted in front of a pair of doors. Nappa and the guard on duty exchanged a nod. The guard opened up the doors to a ramp sloping down to a desolate, red-soiled surface. Craggy cliffs and spires of rock jutted into the teal skyline. "Or just master is great, too."
"I'm not calling you master," Nabooru quipped, following him down the ramp. Rust-colored dust stained her once pristine boots upon reaching the planet's surface, but she welcomed it along with the first hint of a proper breeze on her skin and passingly fresh air in her lungs. "Let's compromise the other way and go with Nappa. That or I'll think of something you won't like."
Nappa rubbed a hand along his square jaw. "You drive a hard bargain, lady. But fine. I'm still going to refer to myself as your master though, and you as my pupil." His feet left the ground to hover above it. "You can at least fly, right?"
She followed his lead in answer. "My name is Nabooru. Not lady."
“Not a bad name, I guess. A little weird...”
He took to the sky and Nabooru followed suit, using the silence between them to observe the planet she now called home, even if only temporarily. It sounded like she would move around quite a bit. Outside of the complex, the further they flew, the more sure she became that it was completely barren and devoid of other life. The remnants of what could have been buildings and civilization suggested it may not have always been that way. Optimism had her wanting to believe Frieza and his men had found the planet already abandoned, but the bits of knowledge she had scraped together from Zarbon and her morning lessons suggested the planet was purposefully and violently cleared to harbor this base.
“Here’s a good spot.”
Nabooru nearly collided with his massive back in her sightseeing, narrowly avoiding the embarrassment by floating to his side instead. “Is there something I’m supposed to see here?” she asked with a cocked eyebrow, arms folded. It looked much the same as the rest of the planet. “Plumme mentioned a training room. Why aren’t we using that?”
“You ask too many questions,” he muttered gruffly, facing her and mirroring her cross-armed posture. “We’re training with ki, we need the room, and I’m not here to half-ass your training. How’s that for a reason?”
“Touchy.”
The Saiyan grumbled more, and her lips twitched in another smile when she just made out a threat to make her suffer through this training. Though she wanted a good challenge, she decided to wait and see what he might throw at her without egging him on for more. She wanted to give him a fair chance to put her to the test of his own accord.
“From what I understand, you’ve got the basics of ki under your belt, right?” Nabooru nodded. “Good then this will be fun.”
Nabooru raised an eyebrow as Nappa scanned their surroundings, searching for she could only guess what in this barren wasteland. His roving eyes eventually halted, and she followed his gaze to a stalagmite twice her height jutting out of a field of smaller ones surrounding it. "Perfect.”
Her brows lowered, lips turned down in a baffled grimace, observing the stalagmite and the field of smaller ones surrounding it. Were they going to spar over it? She faced a bloody demise if he knocked her into it hard enough. She shuddered at the image of her mangled body pierced on the formations. "What does a bunch of rocks have to do with ki training?”
"Are you questioning my teaching methods?" She started to reply with a snarky affirmative, but the Saiyan cut her off. "You’re going to use your ki to keep yourself levitated over that rock there." He tilted his head toward the largest of the formations. “And no, not by flying before you try that on me. You’re going to concentrate your energy into your finger and use it to keep yourself from being impaled and without destroying the rock. You’ll do that for an hour. You cheat, boost yourself too high, or fall, we start the hour over.”
She hoped for a challenge, and Nappa had delivered. Controlling her ki in such a way, keeping it at a low enough level while also strong enough to keep herself aloft would take skill and focus. Controlling her ki for a long period which would benefit her ability to maintain it in a fight. While it wouldn’t utilize the maximum reaches of her ki power wise, she could see the benefit of learning to use it in more concentrated ways. With this exercise likely serving as a warm up, she both dreaded and looked forward to what else he had in store for her.
Boots lifted from the ground and she drifted up to the stalagmite. With at least an hour of this ahead of her, she wanted to waste no time. She doubted failing to measure up to whatever standards Frieza had in mind for her would bode well for her. She needed every minute she could glean to improve herself. Learn how to utilize her ki to the very finest uses and in the ways best for her new station.
Gripping the tip of the stalagmite, she hoisted herself up onto it, legs extended to the sky and one arm holding her up. The stone that made up her pedestal was sturdier than she imagined, her touch doing little to disturb its integrity. Bolstered, she shifted up onto her fingertip and adjusted her body's balance accordingly. She had to approach the next phase with the utmost care. Too little energy would fail to lift her, and too much would destroy the pillar entirely. Neither conducive outcomes toward her training as both would waste time. Thus, she fed the barest amount of ki into her fingertip, orange light flickering at the tip of her glove. Again and again she repeated this process, adding minimal increments of energy until it lifted her finger from the point. Not until an inch of orange-yellow light glowed between leather and rock did she pause, memorizing how it felt and what it would take to maintain the pose. Ensuring it was only that point that held her aloft. Keeping an eye on the stalagmite itself for signs of breakage.
"This high enough?" She asked Nappa at last, lifting her head to find the Saiyan lounging on a boulder, arms folded and observing her with the hint of a smirk. Sweat already beaded on her forehead, embarrassing after only a few minutes. If she made it through the hour, she would be drenched before they did anything active.
"Sure is. You got that faster than I thought you would." He tapped his scouter. "I was pretty sure we'd have to find at least one more rock to use. Guess you're a whole lot more patient than Vegeta when he was a kid. Hell, probably now, too."
She dropped her head again, not wanting to waste any energy on holding it up. "So this is a regular exercise for your training camp, huh? Here I thought I was special."
"Heh, yep. Vegeta and Raditz went through this as brats. Vegeta obliterated the first three rocks we tried with, probably on purpose. Raditz got caught in the crossfire and would have to start over with him." He chuckled, the memory obviously a fond one. "Finally got 'em to do it right, but it only lasted a week. You'll get to start each session this way for a month."
"So you're saying I could throw a temper tantrum and get out of doing this?"
"Not a chance."
She blew out a puff of air. "Worth a try."
Silent minutes ticked by, the sound of the breeze between the canyon walls and Nappa shifting in his seat once in while all that interrupted them. She had begun to feel the strain the constant flow of energy took on her, and it began to overtake her attention to remaining aloft. She glanced to Nappa. "So are you their father?" she asked, hoping the conversation would take her mind off of the settling fatigue.
He snorted. "Hell no. You really think either of them could be my kid?" She rolled her eyes and he continued. "Nah, I was just the only adult Saiyan left so I got stuck with caring for the two squirts."
"Wait." She lifted her head again and righted the flutter of her energy before her surprise got her impaled. "You three are the last of your race? What happened to the rest of them?"
Nappa grunted and frowned, eyes closing beneath a furrowed brow. "Planet was destroyed by a meteor years ago. S'far as we know, we were the only survivors. The prince, his retainer, and a bushy haired runt that just got lucky. Though, I guess we all did."
Her stomach churned. She knew what it was like for her people to be on the brink of potential destruction. These three lived through the worst case scenario of it. The actualization of the doomsday scenes her mind had conjured for her race in dream and waking alike for the last several years.
"How did you survive?" Though only two days into her career, she did understand that people couldn't breathe in space. Not to mention the survival of a planet's destruction would be slim so she thought.
"Like I said. Luck, really." Nabooru lifted her head enough to see the tinge of what she assumed was pain or regret flash over his otherwise neutral expression. "The three of us were off planet at the time. The king and Frieza had made some kind of agreement. For whatever reason, his power I'm guessing, Frieza wanted Vegeta close by. Maybe for grooming to be one of his generals one day, who really knows. That meant he got me, too, as the prince's caretaker. The king's request so I could keep an eye on him. He was just a brat back then, you know. Raditz was off on a mission. We found him floating where the planet used to be. His pod's autopilot took him back there."
Nabooru breathed out a sigh and watched a drop of sweat drip from the tip of her nose and into the stalagmite trap below. She bit her tongue on her sympathy, knowing had their roles been reversed, she wouldn't want to hear some stranger's apologies or endure their coddling. Once more, she felt an innate pull to Nappa and his cohorts with little information on them, the need to form bonds with someone in this new, daunting environment rearing its head as it had in their first, brief encounter. She couldn't afford those relationships, flimsy attachments that could disappear in the blink of an eye and be used against her.
Besides, they had each other. The last three of their kind. She was the one perfectly alone there.
"What are your people like, huh? Frieza said you guys reminded him of us."
The question felt like a twisted dagger in her heart. She hadn't realized she felt homesick until that moment, her new schedule keeping her busy and her mind occupied. She felt a hitch upward in her ki and she quelled it quickly before it could send her skyward or damage the stalagmite. She shook her head to erase the visions of the desert, the temple, her friends, mother, and lover. She had to stay strong. For them. A whiny baby begging to go home would be met with a cold shoulder at best.
"We're warriors. The greatest on the planet without contest. Even more so now that we can use ki. All women save for the one male born each century." She heard a curiously pleased rumble from the Saiyan and she snapped, "Don't get any stupid ideas. And don't think too much into the plausibility of that. The legends point to one of our goddess but no one really knows how it happens. Hyrule doesn't have much in the way of technology or all this scientific advancement. So if there's a more concrete reason, we wouldn't know of it."
"Heh, sounds like that male is pretty lucky, then." Nabooru shot him a glare, causing him to chuckle. "Alright, keep your shorts on. So what lucky happenstance put you guys and your planet on Frieza's radar? With no technology and warriors with no knowledge of ki, that leaves little left for him to take interest."
Had she not been afraid the motion would throw her off balance, she would have shrugged. “Resources are what the scouts concluded, I think. I guess with so much of the planet untouched, they found plenty they could use.” She bent her legs at the knees for a few seconds before straightening them out again. “They found out about our troubles with the other races on the planet, and Frieza made us a deal: his soldiers teach us how to use ki so we could overthrow the current monarchy in power and free ourselves, and in exchange, they rule the planet in his stead and he gets me to add to his ranks.”
Nappa pondered her explanation, tapping his fingers on his bicep. “There are worse deals, I guess. I don’t suppose you know how that turned out?”
“No. We had undergone about a month of training before Frieza showed up and said he wanted me.”
“Lucky you,” Nappa said with a snort, and Nabooru didn’t disagree with the evident sarcasm. Before either could continue, Nappa’s scouter beeped thrice, and he tapped the button on the side. “Well, congratulations. You completed your warm up.”
Nabooru sighed in relief and eased herself back down, grasping the top of the stalagmite again and righting her orientation. She floated back down to land in front of Nappa, a slight drain on her reserves of energy evident with just that simple task. A kink to work out if she wanted to last and become a true force to be reckoned with.
"Now what? Are you going to spar with me?"
The Saiyan snorted again and reached into this armor, bringing out a glass vial. Small, green spheres floated in a paler shaded liquid. "Maybe another day. For now, you'll be fighting these Saibamen. Should be around your power level. Unlike me, these are expendable."
"So you're scared?" Nabooru taunted with a grin as Nappa squatted down and pressed the spheres into the ground and sprinkled the liquid over them. Curiosity stifled the rest of her taunts. "Are those plants? You're making me fight plants?"
“Heh, something like that.” Not a moment later did the dampened ground crack where he placed the seeds. What resembled bulbous cabbages plowed through the ground. Three-clawed hands raked along the ground and pulled out short, gangly bodies. They let out a cacophony of ear-splitting shrieks, and Nabooru clapped her hands over her ears.
"What are those things?" she shouted. She let her hands fall back to her sides when the creatures closed their mouths, devious little grins on their faces.
Nappa dropped the vial back into his armor. "These are called Saibamen. They’ll be your opponents. I want to see how well and how much you already incorporate ki into your own brand of combat." He grinned at her. "And what better way than with multiple enemies."
Her initial impression was that they didn't look like much. Scrawny and fragile things easily disposed of. However, she remembered that he said they had a power level close to her own, and though she still didn't quite understand what sort of statistics composed a power level, she knew better than to take them too lightly. Nappa's warm up exercise hadn't been a walk through a field of flowers, after all.
With a nod, she drifted out into a wider space, creating distance between herself and her new opponents as well as her spectating instructor. She bent her knees and shifted into a comfortable fighting stance, her weight balanced and both arms raised. "Ready when you are."
"You heard her. Go have some fun, ya runts!"
They needed no convincing. The six Saibamen shot straight for with another chorus of those shrieks, their speed notable but nothing she couldn't handle. Instinct kicked in as she dodged and blocked their flurry of kicks and punches while bearing the brunt of those she couldn't contend with, the pain of them registering for no more than a moment as she focused on taking down her opponents. The first order of business being moving from defense to offense before they wore her down and overpowered her with their numbers.
She caught one of them by the wrist and slammed it into the one nearest one, sending two skittering off several meters from her and the rest of the mob. The bite of claws dug into the meat of her thigh and another landed a kick to her opposite side before she could block the next punch aimed her her face with a raised forearm. Orange-yellow energy built in her free palm and she shot a sphere of it at the one who had drawn blood. She swung a powerful kick at the one in front of her, catching it and another up in the sweeping arc and sending them flying away from her.
Though only one remained in her immediate vicinity, she knew she had very precious few seconds before the other piled back in. Orange energy enveloped her and she shot backward, eyes flitting to each enemy and noting their location, how quickly they would recuperate to continue their onslaught. The first two had recovered and fired toward her, one with its own yellow ki blasts forming in its hands. The others were already regaining their feet.
She thought back to the desert, to the first time she did some real damage with her newfound abilities. The feeling of the energy it took to blow the top half clean off one of the larger plateaus dotting the desert landscape flowing from the vat of it within her to the palm of her hands. A similar attack could deal with the two speeding toward her. If not completely, it would weaken them enough to give her an opening to finish them off.
Her orange-yellow ki built in her hands at her sides and pushed them both out in front of her, firing the blast toward the advancing Saibamen. The light swallowed the fired blasts from one and the plant creatures followed suit, their shrieks of pain short lived as they disintegrated into nothing. A third had hastily tried to hop into the fray and gotten caught in the blast, leaving only the right half of its body to fall to the dusty ground. A gruesome sight that made her insides squirm, but she didn't have time to stare or consider how many more she would mutilate in such a way in this new position. How many wouldn't be just training fodder like these creatures.
The remaining Saibamen reminded her of the miniscule window in punishing fashion. A fist caught her side and knocked her off balance and sideways, her armor only seeming to absorb some of the blow. A second waited to boot her straight into the air. Before she could right herself the third zipped upward to bash his joined hands into her abdomen, knocking the wind out of her and sending her careening to the ground. Her back slammed the surface, spittle and blood emitting from her lips on impact and a spiderweb of cracks cascading outward from her body.
Another beep of her scouter told her what she already knew. Ignoring the pain in sore muscle and bone, Nabooru rolled to her feet as one of the monsters slammed a fist into the ground where her head had been, the indentation left deep. She threw her elbow back into another that tried to sucker punch her in the spine and used the moment of surprise in the first to fire another wave of ki at it. Another shriek and it was reduced to dust, leaving two alive and her patience running ever thinner.
She flipped around to face the one behind her, only just recovering from her elbow connecting hard with its face. He was chattering angrily in its nonsensical language and brushing the last bit of bluish ooze from its face. Nabooru fired forward again. Energy surged to her right fist as she aimed a heavy punch for its gut. She saw the confusion on its face when her punch landed and tore through green flesh, bone, muscles, and organs like paper and through to the other side. Once more she had to suppress her own surprise and the lunch she ate when she considered what she did and yanked her arm free of the creature to engage the final opponent.
It was just a beast. Just like the monsters in Hyrule.
She flicked the cyan blood from her glove and faced the final Saibaman, the fear on its face palpable and it's desire to flee written in its eyes. To prevent the chance, she closed the gap between them, gathering energy as she did. Once at point blank range, she released it. Awful as it felt to some degree, she preferred this tactic. Complete obliteration that felt less personal. Less messy. Less to look at in the aftermath and feel guilt over.
When the dust settled, she heard the applause of large hands and Nappa's boisterous laughter. "You really give new meaning to the term bombshell! You did better than I expected, honestly." He folded his arms with a smirk. "There's still work to be done, but I'm glad I have a better base to work with than I was expecting. You handle yourself like a true warrior out there. Nappa's pupil, the next up and comer in the Frieza Force. Has a real nice ring to it."
"It's only what I trained my whole life for," she replied, though the proud smile was more than apparent on her lips. She hoped it made her look less worn out than she felt. "So what's next?"
"Heh, raring to go, are ya?" Nappa pulled the vial out of his armor again. "Alright. I like it. We're going to do the same thing, but this time, I want you to stay airborne as much as possible. Think you can handle that?"
In truth, the Gerudo wasn't certain. Her experience with fighting while flying were minimal. Not to mention the ever-growing exhaustion. But she refused to tell him that. She would rise to the challenge.
“Plant another round, Nappa. I’m ready.”
#fic: recruited#:: nabooru ☀#// vegeta ♅#| nappa ♅#i worry i didn't make her struggle enough but#whatever :'D#next chapter she'll really get put through the ringer promise
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(NATALIA DYER, DEMI GIRL) - Have you seen PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL? PHILLY is in HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year. The WILDLIFE SCIENCE MAJOR is 20 years old & is a TAURUS. People say SHE/THEY are WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC and UNPREDICTABLE. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE CONCEALED MURDEROUS EVIDENCE (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)
ive done sm switches bt. she is the one. she is the one i love. trust me. ples. this is an old intro n im frankly. too lazy 2 read it bt. i love her a lot shes very good please like her
TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. DISSOCIATION ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.
aesthetic.
wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.
basics.
full name: philomena brontë carmichael
nickname(s): philly, phil, etc.
b.o.d. - april 20th, 2000
label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.
height: 5′4″
hometown: woodside, ca
sexuality: demisexual
pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)
stats
favorite song: wonderfully bizarre, bendigo fletcher / we can be defined by the things we want / i’ll be a life full of free haircuts from the one that i love / we’ll collect fallen out teeth in a candy jar / mice for the backyard peregrine falcon reservation.
background.
a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.
the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.
so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.
they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.
hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.
it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.
it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.
they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.
and life continues as normal.
her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.
she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.
they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.
philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.
elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.
naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.
it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.
it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.
philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.
during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.
she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.
it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.
there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.
you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -
you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.
and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.
philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.
three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her ged and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.
they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.
they found refuge in preaker, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to yates for her freshmen spring term & theyve been here since.
(whenever anna brings cillian uh. he’s in here too he’s been traveling w them fr like 3ish years. i just cannot rewrite atm KDSGLSDKLGKFGHLKSL bt hes here. n hes sexy. n we love him. bro3tp)
OH. hey yeah the secret. errmm. tht’s on cillian. philly just hid the evidence. no they didnt kill someone yes they did no they did not <3 yes
personality & facts.
she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.
has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.
believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.
she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.
philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.
her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.
is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.
is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.
she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)
has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.
she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.
keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.
her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.
will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.
the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon (& so does leo fowler eyes emoji)
has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in preaker / yates - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks
currently living in calloway while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.
they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.
it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.
really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. edit: her first & only kisses hv been w leo fowler. this is important
will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.
listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.
loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.
owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.
has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.
also, juggling.
also, accordion.
the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.
dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.
everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.
( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )
comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her. she knows to respect nature. exudes natural trust energy <3 dont know wht tht means but
the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay. edit: she hs a tabby cat named pail, now. named in honor of her mother, bucket.
leaves her window in calloway wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.
though her room in calloway is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle.
wanted connections.
how did you get in here ;; someone whose room she perhaps crashed at late at night, mysteriously. she refuses to explain where she’s come from. she’s gone before you wake. they could literally not know her at all she’s just sleeping halfway under their bed like <3 thank you <3
ma’am this is a wendys ;; someone who sees her constantly <3 doing outlandish shit <3 bc lets b real. shes weird. shes a weirdo. why do u think she wears the same hat everyday. (she doesnt wear hats often) anyways. they probably dnt even like her? just think shes very strange?
im literally going to dissect you ;; someone who. wants to figure out philly. pick at her brain. wear her shoes. kind of in the same category of above in this general like. ur fkn weird. bt they wna figure out why <3 they wna play therapist <3 jokes on u she hates therapists
liddle thief in the night ;; someone who has caught her stealing. or dining n dashing. either/or. perhaps both. she steals a lot :/
oh like. friends n stuff ;; of any closeness. ppl she talks 2 conspiracies with, ppl she goes on late night walks with, ppl she explores with, ppl she steals with, ppl she smokes with, etc. etc. ppl who bring her out to parties cos they like her funky little ways when she gets drunk n tries to climb atop everything <3
thts nice. anyways ;; this is fr like. literally anything unrequited. philly doesnt like <3 a lot of ppl <3 In That Way. so its basically just. ur muse thinks shes very neat n she thinks ur muse is very neat bt platonically. she doesnt do hookups or anything n if she does i tend 2 like. run purely based off of chemistry even with. most of her connections in general.
uuhh. anything ;; HLKDGKSDLKGHLKSFDSHGKFD i nvr rly hv a lot of connections up fr philly bc shes like. a very unpredictable muse n i think its usually better to just. throw her in! n see wht happens! we cn still plot obv n come up w some fun things bt fr the most part shes very organic
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The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Prologue
Summary: You're a fantasy-loving, LARPing human from this world, who's the black sheep of society because of your obsession for the unreal and alienation of what's real. When you're in the middle of a LARP battle with some pretty phony boars, you fall out of a tree and bust your head. You wake up, alone, and are suddenly attacked by some very pissed-off, very real wargs. Without any idea of how you got there, you got dropped into Middle-Earth, with only bits and pieces of memories of Tolkien's masterpiece, though your recollection of everything else is perfectly clear. And of all places in Middle-Earth, you got dropped into Mirkwood, with some suspicious, potentially hostile, Woodland Elves...
Chapter No.: Prologue
Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color
Notes: So, this is my first fanfiction on tumblr, and I'd thought I'd try it since I have very little time for DeviantArt's chaos. It's much different from my Legolas x Reader on there. I added a small loving family to make the emotions relatable-- even if you don't have siblings, or have more than what I added, it's just fanfiction! Also, I tried to make my pronouns for said reader gender-nuetral so that everybody can enjoy it! The reason your character is so wild is for the sake of not fitting in to this world, yet you're used to it, so that later points in the plot can become more... Well, you'll see. And yes, I made Elves pansexual because I don't think they'd care much about gender or age at that point. LARPing plays a big role in the prologue, because your character is really into it for personal reasons. If this isn't your cup of tea, don't drink it. I hope you like it! Feedback, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused, Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir lives, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)
Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely
Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.
Rating: Teen (14+) for now
You'd never been considered normal by anyone. You enjoyed LARP instead of reality. Your "job" was just staying at home and captioning videos all day every day you weren't LARPing instead of interacting with society at a normal job. Your home? A tiny studio apartment that only cost $450 a month without bills, and you did without cell phone, car, and electric for the sake of being your weird self. You hadn't been to college yet, despite the fact that everyone told you to go once your gap year was over, and it almost was. What would you even study? Acting was all that got you close to who you were, so, ok, guess that's fine, but nobody else thought of that as a career. Maybe you could write fiction-- you were good at that much.
You weren't always like this. There was a time when you were just a normal kid, living a normal life. But somewhere around ten, you started to change, and by sixteen you'd become who you were today. If the Old You could see the New You, you weren't sure if they'd think you were weird too, or if they'd stare up at you in awe.
Hopefully it was the latter, which made you feel good.
I mean, come on, were you born in the wrong timeframe or what?! That's what you thought, anyway. There's no way that this world was for you. The fact that nearly all people were heartless jackasses that enjoyed destroying the planet, the fact that everybody had to be the same or were considered freaks, prejudice and injustice were key factors of life and the rich got handed everything on a silver platter while the poor had to scavenge... Just, everything of this reality made you hate it. If only you'd been born five hundred years earlier, or, y'know, in Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings...
You'd really liked to have been born in Middle-Earth. You had so many books about it, you knew practically everything there was to know, even the confusing shit about Faramir being in the Fall of Gondolin. You'd practically memorized Elvish, and dwarvish, and you knew the whole six movies by heart, every line. And of course, like most Lord of the Rings fans, you had a massive crush on a certain Elvish princeling who was too pretty for his own good. In fact, Legolas was who inspired you to learn archery; maybe one day you'd be as good as he was.
Despite your wishes, you were stuck in reality, however much you hated it
. Even amongst your LARP groups, you were considered outlandish.
Everybody else had normal lives outside of their games, whereas you pretended this was your life. You didn't have any job aside from the small caption jobs you did when you weren't LARPing, no social life, nothing. The only people you had was your mother, brother, sister, and your only friend, [F/N]. They accepted you and your strange fantasies, even if they thought you'd one day regret acting in a way when you could've been beginning a normal life and being productive.
So excuse you if you decided to invite them to a LARP event and let them borrow some of your costumes. It wasn't the end of the world. But your LARP group apparently didn't get that memo.
"You invited your mom?!" A royal asshole sneered, yet you took satisfaction in the fact that his knight costume looked like it was made of cardboard painted silver, whereas your sci-fi Elf getup was actual leather and cloth. His name was Jacob Brent; you'd never really liked him. He'd always had it out for you because your costumes were so much more fabulous than his. Plus you may or may not have actually known swordplay and archery and dagger throwing and martial arts... Kinda. You were still in the process of learning kickboxing.
You cocked a sky blue-- yes, sky blue-- eyebrow to your equally bright blue hairline, spiked up in a short faux hawk. This was your first sci-fi Elf, and you'd wanted to go all out. A cocky grin split its way across your face. "Yeah, so? It doesn't effect you on any level, Tin Can."
He sniggered with his cronies. "I can't believe you don't have anyone else to come with you." He mimicked rubbing his eyes like he was four. "'Oh Mommy, I need somebody to come with me!'" His whole group burst into laughter.
You surprised them by joining in, actually appluading. "Oh, wow! Wonderful, just wonderful! Hey, should I tell Mindy that I seen you feeling up Roxie behind your fort last week?" He paled, and almost everybody in his group of crappy cosplay got 'o' faces. You put your hands on your hips. "Guess what, asshole, just 'cause I'm close with my family and you're not with yours doesn't make it a crime to hang out with them. It's my life, my decision, and I enjoy spending time with them." You hefted up a disappointingly fake spear, turning to walk away. "Oh, and by the way, your paint's chippin' off."
Reason for Hating Reality Number 6, 965: Immaturity levels are almost incomprehensibly high.
Your mom glared daggers at Jacob's Immaturity Harem. She'd always been a tough gal, always sticking up for you when you got bullied when you were younger, but now that you were an adult, she had to let you kick ass yourself; you were pretty good at it. "I don't like him." She stated casually, and you chuckled.
"'Course you don't. He looks like a cheesy robot costume you'd get from Wal-Mart with a too-big crotch protector that's not impressing anyone but himself, and he has the face of a roasting pig. Too tanned, too grubby, and always with something in his mouth."
She smiled slightly. "Has he always been giving you trouble?"
You swung your gear pack off of your shoulder, letting it yank itself down to earth. "Since the day he tried kissing my ass 'cause he didn't know me." [F/N] must've overheard that last sentence, because he burst into laughter when he approached with your brother, [B/N], and your sister, [S/N]. "You talking about Jacob?"
"Sure as hell."
You'd first met [F/N] a year ago, when you'd joined extra-curricular activites for your last year of high school. He thought your personality was incredibly brave, especially in this modern world, but even still... He was just a friend, not a best friend. You'd never had that luxury outside of your tiny family. You just didn't trust him after the life you'd had.
Unfortunately, it seems they didn't like the getups. "Do I have to wear this?" [B/N] asked dramatically, slumping over. He didn't look right in the pauldrons and leather breastplate.
"It's too heavy!" [S/N] complained.
You sighed theatrically. "My piteous children, deal with thy armor, for it must be worn despite thou complaints."
[B/N] pressed his palms together and bowed down. "Screweth thou, false companion."
You mimicked his bow. "Off to hell with thee."
"Hey! You guys! It's starting!" [F/N] cried, and ran off, his pack of weapons and magic bags trembling dangerously on his back. The rest of you followed more slowly, as you explained to your family how exactly LARPing worked. Battles weren't actually bloody, magic was just colored powder, you get points for a hit, and so on and so forth. [B/N] and [S/N] got it immediately, but your poor mom, who hadn't even ever played Skyrim, had no idea how the point system and leveling up worked. You had to explain it six times over before you'd reached the massive gathering of LARPing cosplayers. [F/N] returned to you as you reached it, carrying a map. "We were in Larsgyushter Prairie last, right?"
"Duh," You shrugged, at the same time [S/N] asked with a grimace, "Luckyestire Prairie?"
[F/N] inclined his head. "Well, I made some arrangements because your family joined us. We made for Glewnburg, where we picked up their characters, and then headed into the Elder Woods."
You took the map. "Sounds fair enough."
[S/N] frowned. "What exactly were you guys doing last time?"
[F/N] blushed; he must've liked her, which made you feel proud and like pummeling him all at once. "A quest to defeat a horde of wildebors in order to get a good amount of gold."
"How much?"
"Four hundred."
Your mom seemed confused. "Is that a lot?"
"For the land of Sisgremor," You retorted, "Not much. But it's enough for us. We hunt for food, and sleep in the woods. It's summertime, so we don't have much need for shelter unless it storms, and we know where to find caves. The coin is for some new bits of armor, and some weapon upgrades and a couple of magic books for [F/N]."
"Oh," Your mom said, and you took the lead, getting into your Elven character with a huge grin on your face.
"Come, my children! We must meet the bors by midday!" You ran off, but you didn't miss the looks over half of the LARP community gave you.
~le time skip~
The one thing you didn't like about LARPing was the enemies. They weren't believable and were crappily dressed, at least in your community. They were crappy actors and their dying acts were unrealistic. Unless they were orcs that had good makeup skills and good cosplay, they weren't worth fighting, but you had an imagination to kick them up a notch.
As always, the wildebors were just some guys in black outfits decorated with needles, and wearing pig masks with an underbite bearing tusks. Your imagination knocked them to eight-feet long beasts with bloodstained tusks, wild red eyes, and porcupine-like needles that shot out of their near-impenetrable hides if provoked.
You'd only fought these beasts once. They had three separate healthbars, each a different strength: eight hundred, four hundred, and one hundred. Your spear-- the only weapon you could afford after your bow snapped (Poor prop craftsmanship.), had a damage rate of ten health per hit, thirty if you could make a three-combo move (The highest combo move allowed.). [F/N]'s magic bombs, bolts of energy, and other magic stuff only varied from ten to fifty health damage per hit, except for his Fyrering, which was a once-a-day power that was ninety health damage, plus a three minute window of burning which took ten damage every thirty seconds.
The boars were also viscious; one hit from them took around fifty health, and at level nine, you and [F/N]'s health bars were only at two hundred and fifty, plus your armor rating of fifty and his of twenty. Your family, however, were only at level one, with a one hundred strength health bar each and armor ratings varying between ten and fifteen.
In short: that meant a hell of a lot of hits, very little openings, and there were always numbers to consider. There were six of them, and five of you. If you had your bow, this would be easy. You'd climb a tree, avoid their needles, and fire your twenty-five damage arrows relentlessly (With the thirty plus bonus from your actual bow.) while [F/N] pelted them with magic. You could take down two, maybe three that way before retreating, waiting for your strength to regenerate and your undamaged arrows to "respawn" before coming back for more battling (The arrows don't actually exist, for safety reasons. You had to wait for ten minutes before an approximated number of arrows, determined previously by the quest-giver, "reappeared" in your "inventory.").
But you had to think of a new plan. A brand new plan. You had three level one novices, two level nine intermediates, and six angry-as-hell wildebors that were level twenty. This was an impossible quest. You should never have accepted it knowing your family was coming.
You were hiding behind a huge oak, and glanced around it; for a split moment, you saw the crappy actors, but your mind quickly fixed that. Above and to your immediate right, [F/N] hid behind a mound of boulders up on a hill, and you'd positioned your family similarly. You just couldn't see them. [F/N]'s hand waving caught your attention. Frantically, he pointed above you. You whipped your head up, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. You gave him a look like WTF dude, and he rolled his eyes. He picked up a rock as an example and pointed back up into the branches, but still, you didn't see anything. He gestured again, almost forcefully, and this time, you seen it: brightnuts, a specialized kind of walnut bred specifically to explode into a bright white light on impact, with dangerous shrapnel and poisonous fumes that had one hundred and fifty health damage.
Of course, in reality, they were just blue and white beanbags hanging in nets rigged all over the branches, but you pretended they weren't.
But still, perfect.
You'd start calling out orders as soon as you started throwing them. [F/N] knew how to improvise to a plan already, but your family didn't. You propped your spear up on the tree, and started climbing, wincing when the bark scraped your palms; you were wearing what'd used to be white bridal gloves, but you'd tinkered with them to match your costume, sewing sky blue patterns into the gloves.
You personally didn't make a sound, but a couple of leaf-covered branches fell; luckily, wildebors were mostly deaf and blind, so you should make it to the top of the tree without any consequences.
You flashed [F/N] a triumphant smile when you reached the topmost branches, snatching a bag of brightnuts and holding them high above your head. He shot you a double thumbs-up, then made a wheel-like gesture to get you to move on. You stuck your tongue out at him, then readjusted yourself on the branch to get a good aim.
A few seconds of struggling against the knot, and you'd gotten the net open. With barely a minute of hesitation, you drew your arm back, and fired. Your aim was almost perfect. You hit one of the wildebors in the side, and you seen the actor as he started the most over-acted reaction you'd seen yet: a violent jump, then what sounded like a deranged "Guuuugh!" You rolled your eyes. So dramatic.
Either way, [F/N] whooped behind you. "Hit! A hit!"
Before you could give any orders whatsoever, [B/N] charged down the hill with his realistic-looking wooden battleaxe bellowing a war cry. You slumped over. "Aw, shit."
In the blink of an eye, [B/N] was officially dead but still pummeling the poor actors, your mom didn't know what to do, [F/N] didn't realize what was happening from behind his rock, and [S/N] was dodging air like a boss. You waited on the branch until the coach of the actors stood, took off his mask, and blew his whistle.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You with the axe! You died already! Come on everybody, regroup, come on..." Your mom and [S/N] were laughing it off with a couple of the actors, but [B/N] was having a heated argument with the rest of them, and they were starting to shove each other around; he'd always been a sore loser. The coach separated them, and [F/N] called to you from below. "Guess we failed this quest, huh?"
You shrugged. "It's all good. There are other, less dangerous quests."
He perked up. "Yeah, so hurry up and get down here! We've gotta get back to Glewnburg!"
You tossed the beanbag you'd had in your hand back into the net. "Comin'." Unfortunately for you, you were a bit of a show-off. You stood, stretching your arms out for balance, walking quickly and carefully across the bough. A loud snap that echoed through the forest silenced everyone: your sudden movements had weakened the branch down the middle, where a split was slowly cracking open.
"Oh shit." Did I have to choose the top branch?
Everything seemed to be in slow motion as you fell. Your ribs exploded with pain as you slammed into a slightly lower branch full-force. Your ankle snapped. Your arms were whipped and bruised. Your head cracked painfully across the thick, unmoveable base of one branch, and white and yellow dots burst in your vision. Your sight started to fade, as did the pain, until you met the ground with a dull thud.
I should've went to college.
~time skip~
When you woke up, the first thing you realized was, Hey, I woke up! I'm alive! which was immediately followed by, Holy fucking shit what the fucking hell did I break, then a much more painful thought of Why the fuck am I still in the goddamn forest?
And you were. You were laying on your side, in a couple of very small but still immensely terrifying pools of drying blood, one of which came from the corner of your mouth. Your entire body throbbed painfully. Every breath you took caused sharp, white-hot pains to spiderweb across your entire torso. Your ankle was burning up, and you couldn't move it or your left arm. Your head felt like you'd been hit by a truck. A truck made of solid wood...
Why were you still in the forest? You knew your mother well enough to know that she've panicked. She'd've screamed your name and ran to you and called 911 immediately. [F/N] would've done the same. In fact, there was no reason why they wouldn't have called for a medic. You fell from the equivalent of a three-story building with poles sticking out of it.
By all accounts, you should be near death.
So why were you still in the forest, exactly where you'd fell?
With immense effort, you rolled onto your back, panting heavily and wincing against the pain. Your vision swam, and things were blurry. The trees were different; the tree where you'd fallen from was tall and branchless for most of the way up, and definitely not an oak. To boot, there weren't any nets full of beanbags, and your spear was gone. Behind you was a cliff with an outcropping of rock that looked similar-- but not the same-- to the one [F/N] had been behind. There were roots and underbrush and bushes and walls of thorny branches surrounding you, and in between the ground was filled of orange and gold fallen leaves; up in the canopy, which hadn't been as thick before, the leaves were all dressed for Fall. You stared at it in confusion. "What the hell?" Shit. Even that hurt.
Where were you? Why weren't you in an ambulance with the sirens blaring? You were pretty positive you'd broken quite a few bones, and from that fall, you couldn't not have internal bleeding. So where were you?
You waited, but no one came. When the sky started to darken and the pain began to worsen, you were forced to move, slowly getting up, inch by inch, until you'd managed to be in a sitting position. It felt like all the blood rushed from your head and torso, making you cold in the evening chill. You hugged your right arm to your chest, really wishing you'd've worn arm cuffs or something; your short, high-collared, sleeveless, sky-blue leather jacket over a thin white crop top and a black corset-style belt really weren't meant for chilly weather.
"Hello?" You called out. Your voice carried on, but you got no return call. Blood trickled down your chin from where your lips had rebusted; you were lucky you hadn't bit your tongue off or shattered teeth. "Hey! Help!" Still, nothing. "Hey!"
After a twenty-minute bout of screaming for help, you gave up. You were confused-- so, so, confused. Where were you and why were you here? Where was your family? Where was [F/N]? Where was the coach, and those shitty actors? Hell, where was the rest of the LARP group? You'd even be relieved if Jacob appeared out of nowhere.
The moon had risen by the time you’d made it to your feet. Your ankle wasn't as bad as it was earlier; you could put some weight on it now, even if it wasn't a lot. You must've only sprained it. You tried calling for help a few more times, but only the crickets replied.
Then, they went silent.
You frowned. In books and movies, that was usually a bad sign. What'd caused them to shut up so abruptly? Not aliens, you hoped, like in Signs.
A low growl from behind you-- behind you, dammit-- made your skin crawl. A chill ran down your spine. You turned, slowly, hoping you wouldn't aggravate the wolf or coywolf or whatever it was; it wasn't either of those.
It stood on top of the small cliff, and it was at least the size of a horse. A boar-like coat, dull brown, covered its entire body, spotted in places. Its head was broad and massive, bearing an underbite of fangs and small beady eyes. Drool fell from its jaws as it snarled at you. You were half tempted to try the "Nice doggie" before you seen the rider.
Damn, it was ugly as hell. Small, malformed, with dark green skin and a crooked nose. Greasy, thin hair hung from its wrinkled scalp. Nasty claws protruded from its wart-covered fingers and dug into the horn of some kind of saddle. It sneered with an evil grin, and a mouthful of sharp teeth.
You didn't know what else to do; you took off running at full speed, ignoring the pains shooting up your leg from your sprained ankle. Branches and weeds whipped your skin, trailing blood. You glanced back once. The monster-- which you knew was an orc-- and the giant dog that you couldn't place the name of watched you for a couple of moments more before the orc gave a sharp order in a language you didn't understand, but it felt familiar. Two more of the giant dogs burst from the bushes on either side of the first, and they did give chase. Shit, were they what'd happened to your family? Some whackjob dressed as an orc riding a pitbull on steroids mauled everybody?!
You pushed yourself to run faster. Your heart pounded in your ears. Adrenaline rushed through your veins. Each step jarred your aching body, but you couldn't stop. The dogs were enjoying the chase, keeping their strides slow enough to still be on your heels, but not close enough to get you yet. A new sound-- a river, maybe-- gave you hope, and you tried to move even faster, your lungs burning from the strain.
It was a river you'd heard, but it was down a steep hill filled of arching roots and thorny bushes. You didn't have time to stop; you barreled forward, tripped, and rolled the rest of the way, hurting your body even further. By the time you reached the pebbly shore (With all of the sharp edges of the rocks jabbing into you unnecessarily.), the dogs were halfway down, the orcs riding them laughing like hyenas.
You couldn't swim, but you'd rather take your chances with the river than with the giant pitbulls. You waded in, and were immediately swept off your feet by the strong current. It dragged you under, and you were bashed into some boulders, getting cut up badly. One slammed into your hip, nearly causing you to suck in. Another rammed into your already-broken ribs, and this time, you did scream, getting a huge gulp of water. A crimson cloud engulfed you as something long and sharp burst through your calf. You were pushed up against another boulder, and you grabbed on, hauling yourself out of the water and hanging on for dear life, hacking and coughing out the water that'd filled your lungs.
The dogs had chased you up the shoreline, and the orcs carried shortbows with arrows of dark wood. A glance down and, sure as fuck, they'd hit you with one in the calf, dammit. You looked ahead of you: rapids, a slow and drawn-out death. Ahead of you, probably a very painful death, but hopefully it'd go faster than drowning while being battered to a lifeless corpse.
I should've gone to college.
You squeezed your eyes shut tight and braced yourself for the next arrow, but you were pretty much forced to open them again when you heard the sound of dogs yelping and orcs wailing. One of the dogs was dead, neck slashed open and pouring blood onto the rocks. It had landed on its rider, who struggled beneath its weight. The other dog had taken off, but its rider had an arrow jutting out of its face.
A troop of warriors, clad in forest-colored tunics of dark browns, greens, and grays had appeared in the second you'd closed your eyes. Every one of them had long, straight hair, braided away from their faces. Most had a quiver of arrows and a longbow, but some, like the one who'd killed the dog, had a curved longsword. Others still had long knives. Compared to the dark orcs, these people seemed to almost be made of light...
Oh shit.
Elves. These were Elves.You could see it clearly now, in the way they carried themselves: regal, majestic, every move perfectly balanced and smooth. Their ears were pointed, but not drastically like the ones from Zelda, and they were taller than most average men. You were in awe.
These were some damn good actors.
No, they couldn't be actors. That clicked, finally. Especially when you were able to see the one that'd killed the dog slice off the struggling orc's head cleanly and deftly before kicking it into the river. Thankfully, it didn't come near you.
Shit. These were real orcs, real giant bloodthirsty dogs, real Elves... This was all real. But how...?
You heard the sound of a bowstring being pulled taut, much closer to you. You couldn't exactly whip around in your current state, but you still moved as fast as you could. Another Elf, standing on the flat rocks halfway across the river, no less than thirty feet away. How the hell did he get there?!
After the initial shock passed, you realized there was an arrow nocked in the bow. You'd already felt one once in the last ten minutes, you didn't need to feel it again, so you stayed still. He watched you with eyes so blue you could see them from where you were. He was illuminated from the side by the moon, giving him an almost ethereal appearance. His hair was somewhere between platinum and very light blonde, and a quiver of orange-feathered arrows hung over two identical sheaths for ivory-handled long knives. His bow was almost as gorgeous as he was: dark wood engraved with golden leaf designs. His tunic was dark green, and you admired his fancy Elven belts and buckles and bracers for a second before your eyes were drawn back to his face, the profile of which was almost... Dished, in a way, like an Arabian horse's. Your eyes locked, and you felt as if you'd seen him somewhere before...
An Elf on the shoreline spoke, breaking the trance. You couldn't understand what exactly he said; you could've swore you knew some Elvish...
The Elf staring you down watched you for a minute longer, then jerked his bow toward you in gesture, shouting an order to one of his comrades. His voice sounded so familiar... It was on the tip of your brain... It was deep and soft and gentle and commanding all at once. You couldn't explain it. Two Elves followed his order, nimbly leaping from tiny rock to tiny rock to get to where he was, then past him, coming to you. Their weapons were sheathed, so you hoped they were going to help you instead of kicking you into the water or something.
Carefully, noticing how banged up you were, they grabbed you underneath of the arms and lifted you onto the flat rocks the blue-eyed Elf stood on, still ready to fire, and stepped back as you coughed up some water in a delayed reaction to nearly drowning.
When you finished, your eyes felt like they wanted to close on their own. You felt too tired, too weak, too pained... Despite that, you sat up, shivering in the chilly evening air. "Th-thank you..." With a start, you realized they might not even understand English.
"Who are you?" The blue-eyed Elf demanded. "Answer me quickly; do not think we cannot throw you back to the river."
Shit. Pressure. Suddenly you forgot your name for a split second. "I-I'm [Y/N]."
"What are you doing in these lands?"
"I was chased," You looked pointedly at the dog and orc.
The Elf watched you for a minute, judging you... He signaled. "Throw them back into the river." Suddenly, you were being dragged.
Aw, fuck. You struggled against the Elf's strong grips. "W-wait! I don't even know where I am! The last thing I knew I was playing a game with my family and I fell out of a tree! All of a sudden I'm being chased by giant dogs and being manhandled by a couple of Elvish pri--!" You were cut off by a bought of coughing that wracked your body so hard that you doubled in on yourself, pulling the Elves down with you. Your eyes widened when blood trickled out of your mouth, leaving crimson droplets on the rocks. Shit.
The blue-eyed Elf ordered something in their tongue, and the two dragging you halted on a dime. He finally decided to lower his bow a little, inspecting you. "Are there more of you?"
You shook your head; you were getting dizzy, and your vision was blacking out. "I-I don't know... I was alone when I woke up."
The Elves conversed in their own language for a few minutes, and the blue-eyed Elf finally came to the conclusion that you weren't much of a threat in your current state. He looked to the Elves on the shoreline, and gestured at one of the ones holding you, who then scooped you up bridal style, but like you were the ugliest bride he'd ever seen. "Und win'doheim!" Shouted the blue-eyed Elf, obviously the one in charge, and lead the progression back to the forest.
I should never have gotten out of bed today...
Despite the crazy situation, you managed to doze off a few times on the Elf that carried you, until a coughing fit or pain would wake you up. A fever spiked up as you crossed a bridge, and you were half out of it as you entered some kind of woody building surrounded by trees and rivers that you couldn't comprehend very well in your feverish state. You were panting and wheezing, and couldn't see straight. It all seemed so surreal, like you were viewing this from somebody else's perspective. This had to be a dream... A very vivid, very painful dream...
The last thing you remembered was Elvish chanting, golden and white lights surrounding you, and the silhouettes of the Elves. Your pain faded, and you fell into a forced sleep.
When you woke up, a breath of relief whooshed out of your lungs. It was a dream! It was all a dream! It was night, and your nighlight had gone out, but your hall light was still on. You turned over to see what time it was, but your nightstand was gone. So was your window, and shelves and desk and computer and all of your things. Your bed was different. Your relief dissipated to terror.
Fuck. It wasn't a dream.
You were in a small room. An orange-hued light came through the low doorway, and the dark walls were ridged, as if carved from the earth itself. You felt the remains of your injuries from earlier-- or days ago, you couldn't tell how much time had passed-- as throbbing remains. Your clothes were still ripped and bloodstained, and as you stood up, it felt like you were just coming off of the flu.
Wobbly, you staggered over to the doorway, hoping to find somebody that definitely wasn't an orc or Elf.
You slammed face-first into elaborately crafted iron bars.
Outside of them, fully-armored Elves patrolled on small ledges beside the spiraling rows upon rows of cells like yours. This was a dungeon.
...Well shit.
Tag List: @tesserphantom @thedragonghostofmordor @taurlel @hauntedsiriel
#legolas x reader#legolas x you#au#LARP#LoTR#legolas greenleaf#orlando bloom#orcs#wargs#elves#eldar#prologue#theartofbeinganeldar#fanfiction#romance#angst#fluff#gender-nuetral#wild#misfit#reader-insert#forest#mirkwood#middle-earth#ronanstolkienfam#the hobbit
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Riverbound, Chapter 17
All in all, Lanque’s a whole lot calmer about the whole thing than you thought he’d be, which makes you feel better about going to him right away instead of Daraya. Of course you love Daraya, but knowing the kid she’d probably run off to start a fight with Bronya, Lynera, and any other poor bastard who gets in her way.
“I want to believe Bronya’s doing this because she thinks she’s in the right, but I just can’t… augh! I just… can’t believe she’d ask me to do something like that.” You conclude your messy rant by flopping down on the carpet. There’s a dull ache in your skull from either exhaustion or anxiety, possibly both.
Lanque’s looking down at you from the loveseat in the corner like the universe’s most judgemental therapist, sprawled across the whole thing with his gangly self. “You haven’t known her nearly as long as I have. You heard me say once that she’s the craziest bitch in the whole cloister. I meant it.”
You want to argue with him; Bronya isn’t crazy, just a control freak, but that’s gonna have to be a discussion for another time. “You’re not surprised at all by this? Not even a little?”
“Not surprised. Just… disappointed.”
“What, does she make you to sleep at certain times and check your palmhusk, too?” you joke.
“Not anymore, she doesn’t. She learned her lesson after I filled my whole camera roll with the spiciest nudes you can imagine.”
You try not to imagine anything of the sort and fail miserably. Your last brain cell hangs on for dear life. “So, uh… w-what should I tell her the next time we go out?”
“Tell her that I’ve been taking Daraya to a slam poetry club. We’ve actually done poetry in the past, so it’s not like you’ll be lying,” he says with a smirk. “You should come sometime. Talk to people about all sorts of controversial alien opinions. Maybe throw in some rhymes while you’re at it.”
“Alright,” you agree.
“... Darling?”
“Yes, babe?”
“Don’t breathe a word of this to Daraya. She’s stressed out enough as it is.”
“Of course not.”
“Good.”
:::
The next night you spend with Polypa, vandalizing stuff with the Heiress’s face on it and even setting a billboard on fire. It’s a lot of fun, but between vandalizations you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the girl herself. From what you can tell she’d be around seventeen in human years, which meant she’d soon have to challenge the Empress, as all the Heiresses before her did.
Some teenagers like to play video games, some like to sing or dance or do sports; you even know a few who live all by themselves on an island in the middle of the ocean who can shoot guns better than most military personnel. But not Trizza Tethis. No, she’ll be off to duel for the throne… and her life.
In your hearts of hearts you know that Tethis is a monster. There’s no doubt about it. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still just a kid, a kid who is going to be murdered soon for the crime of reaching adulthood.
It makes your heart hurt just thinking about that, and all of the other girls that came before her, and if this rebellion goes to shit all the girls who will come after her.
“Hey, Polypa?” you ask.
“Yeah?” She’s hanging upside-down on some broken piping while spraying THE REVOLUTION IS HERE on the side of a post office. You’re being a good moirail and keeping watch for anybody who might see her, even though it’s dark out and you can’t see much past the street lights lining the sidewalk. For some reason she refuses to tell you, she’s been in a mood ever since she came back from Tegiri’s, but you’re patient. You can wait for her.
“Do you ever wonder if Trizza might have been a good person if Alternia wasn’t the way it is?”
Polypa stops what she’s doing and stares down at you. “Honestly? I don’t really care how she might have turned out if things were different. All the things I’ve seen her do, the shit I’ve heard her say on social media… I just can’t bring myself to believe anything other than she’s one of the most horrible Heiresses Alternia’s ever had and that she deserves to die. Slowly and painfully, that is. And then she deserves to be forgotten.”
“That’s fair,” you tell her. “I dunno, I just kept thinking about how she’s supposed to go off and duel the Empress soon, and that she’s definitely not gonna win, because none of the fuschias who went up against her ever did.”
“... Does that make you sad?”
“It makes me sad that a kid is going to die, yes.”
She huffs. “Save your sympathy. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“Can trolls control who they sympathize with?”
“Of course we can. Can’t humans?”
You laugh. “No. Or at least I can’t. Empathy’s a blessing and a curse.”
Polypa chucks her spray-paint can into the nearby dumpster. “Empathy? Isn’t that like, feeling what other people are feeling? I thought that was just a myth.”
“Some humans can feel the emotions of others. I’ve always been able to.”
“That sucks.”
“Again, it’s a blessing and a curse.”
Polypa shudders, flips upright, and then drops down to the concrete. “If you say so. C’mon, let’s scram.”
You scram, or at least you try to before somebody bumps into you hard enough to nearly knock you over.
“Watch it!” Polypa hisses from somewhere behind you.
You look up at a boft looking (buff plus soft) rustblood guy, who flinches back when he accidentally looks you in the eye. “Sorry! Sorry. Bye.”
He shuffles off down the street, shoulders hunched in like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible even though he’s easily the biggest rust you’ve ever seen. Huh.
“Well, that was weird,” you say, and then you feel something crinkle in the hood of your jacket. Cautiously, you reach up and grab it, hoping that he didn’t just put a bomb on you or something. You aren’t that worried about dying, because you know your immortal ass is coming right on back, but if Polypa’s in the blast zone--
“It’s a piece of paper,” she says.
“Oh, yay. I thought it might be a bomb.”
“Definitely not a bomb.”
The paper’s been folded several times, so you smooth it out and read the letters that have been cut out and glued out in a note, like some kind of Nancy Drew shit.
“What the…” You read the message, and then you read it again, once, twice, thrice, four times before Polypa starts swatting at you and grabbing for the paper. You hand it over and stare out across the street.
You are not alone. Tomorrow at midnight.
“I’m texting the others,” Polypa mutters, shoving the paper into her pocket and whipping out her palmhusk.
“There’s more of us,” you whisper. “That’s what it means, right? We’re not the only faction out there fighting for-!”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, let’s not believe anything that some stranger wrote down on a piece of paper and shoved into your hoodie--”
“But he came to me, Polypa--”
“Hey!”
Both of you turn around to see some cerulean girl you don’t know storming across the street to you. “The fuck you think you gutterbloods are doing, huh?”
“The revolution is here, bitch,” you tell her, and you grab Polypa’s sleeve and zap away.
Polypa does not hesitate to smack you upside the head the second you two appear on the roof of some building downtown. “The hell was that? She just saw an alien and an oliveblood teleport out of an alley with fresh graffiti on the post office!”
“Who’s gonna believe her?” you snort.
“She’s a cerulean, she’ll make somebody believe her.”
“Dude. Chill. We still have time before things get crazy.”
“Apparently not! Tomorrow at midnight--”
“I know! Isn’t it great? What if it’s like, a big post on Chittr, or a public service announcement from God knows where saying that it’s time for bigots to start shitting their pants, because the revolution is here and it is sexy!”
“Augh!” Polypa throws up her hands. You start to get a little concerned. “Aren’t you scared? Like, at all? We could all die tomorrow and you’re just… totally fine! You disappear for half a sweep and come back ready to lead a revolution!”
Alright, it’s time to bring out the big guns. Slowly, so she has time to pull away if she wants, you step forward and reach up to caress her cheek.
The effect is instantaneous. She visibly loosens up from horns to toes, leaning forward into the contact with a low chirrup rising up from deep in her throat. If you were a troll, that sound would have probably made you pale-horny to the max, but you’re human so all you do is just stand up on your tippy-toes to press your foreheads together. You imagine pulling away all of her fear and stress and releasing it into the open sky, never to be seen again.
“We’re not going to die,” you tell her. “We’re just not. And if we were, I’d tell you, because dying isn’t that bad. Doesn’t even hurt, really.”
“... You’ve been dead before?”
“Yeah. Feels like the best fucking nap you’ve ever taken.”
She snorts hard enough for you to feel her breath across your face. “Only you would say something like that and be completely unbothered.”
“That’s just how it be sometimes,” you say, because joking about your trauma and having anxiety are basically your only two personality traits nowadays.
“I’ll write that down for the pile,” she says, because she’s always been able to see right through you, even when you can’t see yourself. “Which we’re going back to an abandoned apartment building to do once I yeet this glass bottle into that window over there.”
She picks up the broken glass bottle at your feet and proceeds to do just that. It sails through the air with all the majesty of an eagle and crashes through somebody’s office window. You know enough about troll romance by now to be a little scandalized by how forward she’s being, but you both know it’s out of necessity. Troll language is far from just verbal-- it’s flattened ears or bared fangs or dilated pupils. It’s hissing and chirping and growling and all sorts of sounds you don’t even know the names for, and you can’t even hear most of them because they’re either too low or too high a pitch for your human ears to catch.
“Hot damn, wildcat. You gonna take me out to dinner before you throw me down on somebody’s abandoned loungeplank?” you tease. Her face lights up in green, and you grin in satisfaction as she splutters something about saving it for the respiteblock.
You’re about to cook up something truly slutty to say when her palmhusk vibrates. Polypa reads it and snorts. “Aaaannnddd Daraya is losing her mind, Tagora says it’s a trap, Tyzias wants to know what the rustblood looked like, Stelsa is in agreement with Tagora, Lanque is asking how the hell it could be a trap when the rustblood didn’t even ask you to meet him anywhere, and Mallek is telling everybody to shut up so he can take a nap. Konyyl and Azdaja haven’t responded yet. I bet they’re making out in a back alley somewhere. Oh, Tagora is telling Lanque to shut his Troll Twilight-looking ass up before he fines him for wasting the rebellion’s time… and Tyzias just sent a bunch of hysterical laughing emojis.”
“I love my friends,” you say.
“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”
“I’m gonna get Mallek to hack the server so whenever people start arguing over stupid stuff a bot starts spamming the chat with gifs of fighting purrbeasts.”
“Do group chats have servers?”
“I have no idea. Come on, I’m fucking freezing up here.”
:::
Your memories of growing up on Earth are fuzzy at best. You have no idea if it’s from Scratch, or Ultimate Dirk, or hell, maybe it’s just regular old brain damage, but one of the few things you can vividly remember is when your grandma died.
You can’t remember her name, but you can easily recall her eternally-smiling face, that smile that always reached her eyes-- hazel, like yours. She’s the one who taught you how to braid your hair, wing your eyeliner, ask out a crush. She also taught you how to take down a grown man with nothing but your fists and a pocketknife. Old age hadn’t ever been a problem for your grandma. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.
The morning your uncle found in her lifeless in bed hadn’t felt any different than all of the mornings before. You just woke up and started to get ready for school, and then your mom… yeah, it was your mom who picked up the phone. She didn’t cry, but your uncle did.
It was a heart attack.
Your mom told you that you didn’t have to go to school, but you were still pretty young, and it still felt like every other morning before so you went to school.
You’re not sure why you’re remembering this when you first smell the smoke, or see the burning buildings from the roof of the abandoned apartment building you and Polypa crashed in. Maybe it’s because it still feels like every other night before this one.
Something deep in you that’s been irreversibly interwoven with time and space begins to tingle. This is a turning point in history, you just know it.
Polypa’s shaking her head like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “It’s a riot. A riot. In Thrashthrust. We really aren’t…”
“Alone,” you finish with a smile so big it hurts your face.
“... Do you think this is really the right thing to do?”
“A wise man from my planet once said that riots are the language of the unheard.” You turn to her and take her hands in your own. “So let’s make them hear us.”
You’re not sure what you were expecting when you drop yourself and Polypa into downtown Thrashthrust, but you definitely weren’t expecting to almost get run over by Konyyl and Azdaja, both panting, sweaty, and smelling faintly of smoke.
Konyyl yelps and jumps about a foot in the air. “WHAT the-- oh, hi, guys. You didn’t scare me, I just… yeah.”
“Dude, what is all this? This is incredible!” you crow.
An explosion rocks the ground, followed by a giant plume of fire that shoots up into the sky just one street over. Azdaja whoops in delight, and Konyyl cheers even louder as a piece of flaming metal you think used to be a scuttlebuggy sails through the air and takes out a convenience store. Normally, something like that would have worried you, but seeing as the store’s already nearly burnt to the ground you think everybody’s already gotten out.
Not to be outdone, Azdaja telekinetically grabs on to a fallen lamppost and hurls that bad boy through the grocery store across the street.
“Show-off,” Konyyl scoffs.
“Where’s the main protest?” you ask.
“Like, a couple of blocks back that way. Some bronzeblood is leading the charge. Absolute mad lad,” she says, grinning. “I think a few more people you know might be there.”
That’s all the convincing you need to grab Polypa’s hand and take off running. You can hear the roar of a crowd chanting something.
“What are they saying?” you ask Polypa.
“Be silent no longer, when we’re together, we’re stronger,” she replied, glancing back at you with a twinkle in her eye. “I kinda like it.”
“Me too!”
The both of you turn the corner at the end of Hookedclaw street and find yourself face-to-face with a sizable crowd of about one hundred trolls. They’re all looking up to a pair of trolls standing on an upturned scuttlebuggy-- a bronzeblood, like Konyyl said, and the same big rustblood guy who you ran into last night.
You gape in shock. “Holy shit!”
The bronzeblood boy is yelling something, so you press closer into the crowd to hear what he’s saying. Most of the trolls here seem to be lowbloods, so when they see you and Polypa, an oliveblood, they gladly make room for you to join.
“... for what? A social construction that keeps us divided, because those who sit on thrones marked with the blood of our people know how strong we are together! They know that we’d be able to take control of our own destinies, and that terrifies them!” He pauses to take a short breath. “For fuck’s sake, I just want a world where I can walk down the street without worrying about getting killed! Is the bar really that damn low? Think about that, all of you!”
Another wave of cheering echoes through the streets, and you join in without hesitation.
“This guy’s spitting straight facts,” Polypa admits, looking impressed.
“He’s got balls, all right,” you agree. “That rustblood guy look familiar to you?”
She ribs you. “Yeah, yeah, you were right. I admit it.”
You turn your attention back to the boys, but they’re looking over the heads of the protestors at something behind you. A soft wave of hisses rise into the air as you turn to see a trio of purples stalking towards everybody, clubs dragging behind them with the awful scrape of steel against concrete. They’re twice the size of Polypa, except the giant fucker in the middle, who you think might be just a little bit shorter than Chahut.
“That’s a pretty sermon there, bronze brother,” he calls with a voice that crackles like burning wood. “Pretty for a load of treasonous fuckin’ shit.”
“Can’t be shittier than whatever they’re cooking up in that drug-hole church of yours,” the bronzeblood fires back with a smirk.
Even the rustblood standing next to him sucks in a sharp breath as the clown regards him with no trace of emotion. Polypa grabs your hand, and you squeeze it tight.
“You’ve got a big-ass mouth for a critter the size of my motherfuckin’ left toe,” the clown on the big guy’s right says.
“And you’ve got a big-ass forehead for a bastard with such a tiny skull.”
Somebody lets out a loud snort. It might have been you.
The feeble tendrils of bravery holding everybody together begin to unravel as the purplebloods begin to approach once more. You instinctively back up and pull your jacket hood over your head.
“Get ready,” Polypa growls.
But before the clowns have the chance to attack or use their chucklevoodoos, or before the lowbloods gather their courage enough to storm the intruders, a deafening CRACK splits the air like a thunderclap.
The clown to the far left drops like a rock, and standing over him, bat raised, is Elwurd.
She’s wearing a mask to conceal her face, of course, but you’d recognize that crest of blue hair anywhere. Beside her is Remele with her oversized mallet-club thing, and bringing up the rear with shining dual blades is none other than Ardata Carmia.
“Am I fucking dreaming,” you ask nobody in particular, and then all hell breaks loose.
The cerulean girls lunge for the two purplebloods that are still on their feet. The bronzeblood screams for everybody to scatter just as drones begin to swoop down from the sky, opening fire on the trolls below. Half a dozen kids drop dead on the spot.
You and Polypa duck into the nearest alleyway just in time before bullet holes pepper the pavement. Behind you, Elwurd roars something that sounds like “Duck!” before another explosion blows out all the windows. You yelp and cover your head as glass showers down on you like rainfall.
“Zap us out of here!” Polypa yells.
“No, wait! We have to go help the girls!”
“I’m not going back out there and neither are you!”
You glance back just in time to see Ardata drop to her knees, holding her bloody arm. She’s shrieking in terror as a drone advances on her, culling fork glinting bone-white in the darkness. Remele and Elwurd are too busy getting their asses kicked by the last living clown to help.
In that moment you can’t remember her as the bloodthirsty murderer who tortured you in her basement. All you can think of is the time she broke down in your arms, overcome with guilt at the monster she’d become in the name of being accepted by highblood society. A monster who’d traumatized you, and then became your friend.
You’re moving through space and time before your brain can catch up to what you’re doing. Ardata is cold and hard when you tackle her out of the way of the drone. The two of you tumble across the street together as the culling fork hits the spot where Ardata just was with a SHUNK. Even with adrenaline racing through your system the sound chills you to the core.
Remembering what Dirk taught you about hand-to-hand combat with a larger opponent, you grab one of her knives and zap right over to the clown, getting right up in his business before burying the blade into an eye socket.
Unsurprisingly, he drops a squirming Remele and covers his face with a scream so horrible you almost pee your pants. Ardata’s wailing your name from the sidewalk like a terrified child. You want to yell at her to shut up and run before the drones spotted her again, but you never get the chance. One moment you’re twisting a knife into a purpleblood’s skull, the next you’re flying through the air like a ragdoll before a pair of strong arms wrap around you. You and your rescuer land hard on the street with matching grunts of pain.
You look up into Elwurd’s bewildered face and burst out laughing. “Hi!”
“What the--”
“Time to go!” Remele yanks the both of you up by your scruffs like a pair of naughty cats. “Ardata, stop screaming like a wiggler and get your arse over here now!”
“My arm!” Ardata screeches. “I’ll be scarred for life!”
“No, you won’t, idiot, not when you hit your adult molt-!”
You zap the three of them out of there and into the alley, grab Polypa on your way, and then get the hell out of dodge.
The five of you end up in the back of a Troll Dennys, because of course you do. Polypa falls on you, knocking you to the ground, and then she yowls in anger when Elwurd lands on her legs, only for Ardata and Remele to hit the concrete ass-first. Remele accidentally kicks you in the stomach. Ardata falls back against a dumpster and hits her head on the metal with a BANG.
Everybody stares at each other for a long moment with varying degrees and expressions of utter shock. Polypa glares at you, and you just know you’re in for a long discussion about putting your own safety first in dangerous situations, or something like that.
You decide to break the ice first. “Anybody want pancakes?”
#riverbound#pesterquest#hiveswap#hiveswap friendsim trolls#homestuck#ceruleans#c17#mspa reader#the guardian
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When the Sun Sets on Us: Chapter 3 (Scyvie) — Phryne
A/N: Hey y'all! I’m back with the third chapter of When the Sun Sets on Us, a beach town romance between hopeless romantic Scarlet and cynical about romance Yvie.
Last Chapter: Scarlet dumped five drinks and a plate of nachos on Yvie, so Yvie naturally agreed to a date with her.
This chapter: A classic boardwalk date.
Enjoy!
Scarlet was perched on the railing outside the restaurant, her hands gripping the bar as her feet swung, back and forth, back and forth, like a metronome. When Yvie saw her, all clad in her denim skirt and milky white crop top, staring off at the ocean in the distance as though she were transfixed, she felt her beating heart increase its tempo, as though it were intent on keeping time with Scarlet.
“Yvie!” Scarlet called out, hopping off the railing, running toward her. It was as though she had snapped out of her spell, like she sensed Yvie’s presence a few feet away. She pulled Yvie into a hug, her hands flush against Yvie’s back, before pulling away, leaving behind some kind of sun-kissed, champagne-tinged scent wafting in the air, something Yvie couldn’t quite place but found herself intoxicated by, nonetheless.
No, Yvie was not going to allow herself to be consumed by the all-consuming Scarlet. She had decided on this previously, more specifically, the moment Scarlet had suggested the date and Yvie agreed. She had also reinforced the notion that she was under no circumstances going to develop deep feelings for Scarlet every moment after — while walking back to the motel, while showering, while pouring over outfits to wear on the date, while begging her brain to please, for the love of god, let her think about anything besides being close enough to Scarlet to count each little sun-spot that graced her face and arms and hands and chest.
“Yvie?” Scarlet looked perplexed, dropping her arms back to her sides.
“Oh, yes, hi.” Yvie blinked, focusing her vision back on the Scarlet right in front of her, shooing away her intrusive thoughts.
“I asked how you are, silly.” Scarlet poked Yvie’s arm, the spot feeling as though it were consistently touched, consistently warm, even when Scarlet pulled away.
“Sorry, yeah.” Yvie shook it off. “I’m good, how are you?”
It was simply a date. And a date did not require real, deep feelings, Yvie reminded herself. She could simply have fun with Scarlet, enjoy their time together, and then part ways afterward. She didn’t have to get too deep, become lost in her silken little drawl as she described sneaking out of work early to take a shower because she smelled like french fries, how she saw a stray cat wandering out from under her porch when she came home. She didn’t have to indulge her impulse to tell Scarlet about the alley cats behind her apartment, paint her a verbal picture of her home, each brush stroke within it. Hell, they didn’t even have to hold hands. In fact, Yvie decided that they would not do romantic, deep-feelings-date things, like hold hands, for example.
Scarlet took Yvie’s hand, their palms clasped and their thumbs crossed.
Shit.
“Okay, so I’m gonna give you, like, the classic boardwalk experience,” Scarlet said, tugging Yvie to start walking with her. “Come on.”
Scarlet led Yvie away, the two walking steadily, leisurely, as Scarlet unclasped their hands, only to weave their fingers back together, the two interlocked, fingers laced tight. She looked up at Yvie.
Oh god. Not a minute into the date and they’re already walking hand in hand. She’s already fixated on the gentle swing of their connected arms between them. Her skin already prickles as Scarlet’s shoulder brushes against her arm, and she’s so keenly aware of the shorter woman next to her, connected to her, the physicality of moving and walking together, that she barely knows how her legs are still moving while her brain is this overwhelmed.
The Scarlet pulled away. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
It felt like a cold burn, though Yvie had to be sure she brought it on herself, knowing the panic that must have covered her face, knowing just how visible she was with her feelings no matter how hard she tried to mask them.
Yvie gulped, struck with the inexplicable feeling that she was in trouble with herself. “No, it’s okay.” Yvie let out a long-held breath before taking Scarlet’s hand, their fingers interwoven again, Yvie feeling herself return to what now felt less like panic and more like a natural, sustainable state.
It wouldn’t be too bad to hold hands, Yvie supposed, her thumb wiggling out to rest on top of Scarlet’s. It was nothing more than holding hands.
The sun was dimming, dusting the sky and the sea in a battered grey, the neon lights for psychics, name on rice, and hermit crabs intermittently flicking on for the night.
“So,” Yvie began, feeling Scarlet look up to watch her speak, a thrilling intimacy. “What’s it like to live here? You know, like you live where people vacation. That’s wild.”
“I guess,” Scarlet said with a shrug. “I’m just from here, so I barely even notice it.”
Yvie’s fingers gripped Scarlet’s knuckles. They passed a stand selling fried desserts, just turning on their lights. “It’s just like whenever I visit somewhere, I always wonder about the people who live there for real, you know? It’s like I’m just passing by and you’re here all the time.” Yvie flattened her lip. “I guess it would be fun? I don’t know it’s like I’m just passing in a place you’ve had your whole life.”
Scarlet turned away, the tension between their arms growing as Yvie felt further apart. Then Scarlet laughed.
“Wow, heavy first date topics.” She continued staring off, right over the edge of the pier. “Like thoughts about living in a temporary place for most people you meet, bonus points for discussing the idea of emotional permanency. Go,” Scarlet imitated, looking back up at Yvie and cracking a smile.
“Oh my god,” Yvie groaned. “Do I really sound that pretentious?”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s cute,” Scarlet reassured.
“So, you’re saying I do.” Yvie looked back down at her, only finding herself struck by the teasing smile of the girl who just called her cute. She held the word in her lungs like air.
Yvie tugged at her hand, needlessly pulling Scarlet closer, their elbows knocking together. They walked in silence for a moment.
“Yeah, it’s only a little fun to live here,” Scarlet started, staring down at the boards. “Like everything’s only open for a few months a year. And then it’s dead. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve been, like, on the boardwalk outside of work in at least two summers.” Scarlet stole a glance up at Yvie, the corner of her lip curling, letting Yvie know she caught her staring. “I almost forgot it was fun.”
Scarlet let out a slow, deflating laugh, her face falling on the exhale. “But yeah, it’s weird to live here. It’s like everyone else is coming and going as they please and you can’t, like you’re stuck here. It’s not a bad place to be stuck in, don’t get me wrong.” A sigh. “It’s just I think I’d rather be stuck somewhere else, somewhere bigger and brighter. I’d love to be in a city, under a billion lights, you know?” Scarlet looked up again.
Yvie nodded. “That makes sense. Just being permanent in a way you don’t want to be.”
That was, of course, the shorthand understanding of the deepest, most desperate desire to get away and find yourself in a place you’d never like to leave, which Yvie felt creeping up on her with every step they took together. It was a feeling, much like the feeling of Scarlet’s touch, or the smell of Scarlet’s perfume, that had wrapped itself around Yvie. The feeling of being with someone who’s whole life was here, folded in these sands, fitted between the splintering boards. The feeling that Scarlet everywhere around her. It struck like a dizzying, brilliant light, and it remained.
***
“Oh my god, I didn’t know they still had that,” Scarlet called out, pulling Yvie toward a midway game with a childlike sense of wonder. It was the one where you had to throw ping pong balls into goldfish bowls filled with colored water.
“I used to be so, so good at this as a kid,” Scarlet elaborated. “I can’t believe they still have it. I was, like, too good at this game. I had them all lined up in their bowls on the kitchen counter.”
“Do you still have them?” Yvie had finally caught up with her, now standing next to Scarlet at the game. “Or are they all dead?” Yvie immediately kicked herself for mentioning a slew of dead fish.
She didn’t want a relationship, no. But she also didn’t want to become some brunch story Scarlet would later tell about the girl she went on a date with who didn’t want to hold her hand and also talked about her dead fish.
Scarlet laughed, digging in her purse, producing three folded ones. “Super dead. We made them, like a mass fish grave. My moms said they’d fertilize the geraniums.” She handed the money to the Carny before turning back to Yvie. “I think the little headstone I made is still in our garden. Also, I think the fish haunt me.”
Yvie felt her smile crinkling her eyes. She shook her head. “No way. You couldn’t have been good enough for a mass grave.”
“Uh huh,” Scarlet whined, releasing Yvie’s hand to take the ping pong balls. “I’ll prove it.”
“Sure, babe.” Yvie snaked her hand around Scarlet, resting it on her bare waist, needing to feel the warmth of her skin once more.
Yvie let her eyes wander all around the tent, up at the strands of prizes hanging down from the ceiling, which under no circumstances she was going to accept, should Scarlet actually be exceptional at this game. Leaving with one of those big ass panda bears, a stuffed banana with a gorilla wrapped around it, or that blow up alien thing, would be far too much. Far too close to real date, real relationship territory. And frankly, she didn’t want a physical reminder of how she felt looking at the paling sky, the feathering neon light from the rides in the distance. A reminder of how she let herself indulge in the unequivocal closeness of touch, the way her left hand fingered with the sliver of exposed skin above the waistband of her denim skirt, how it felt soothing to simply touch.
“I won!” Scarlet tore her from her thoughts. “I told you. I absolutely told you!”
Scarlet did in fact have three ping pong balls in a row, floating in blue, purple, and another color she didn’t quite catch before Scarlet pulled Yvie in for a hug, her arms wrapped around Yvie’s neck, rising up on her tip-toes to whisper that spine chilling whisper, “I told you so,” right in Yvie’s ear.
Yvie held Scarlet out in front of her, her hands tighter than before on her waist as Scarlet came back down, feet flat on the ground, and Yvie desperately tried to come back down from Scarlet’s whiny, breathy lilt in her ear, desperately tried not to fixate on the warmth spreading through her core. She wouldn’t dare think about that happening again.
“C’mon, we gotta go get your fish,” Scarlet said, pulling Yvie’s hand off her waist and leading her over to the prizes.
“My fish?”
Yvie, who now held a fish in her right hand, whom Scarlet named F. Scott Fishgerald, reasoned that the fish was not a stuffed animal, so she was not in real date territory. The fish was, however, a living, breathing little bastard that she now had to take care of, because Scarlet named it and gave it to her, bonding Yvie to the fish.
Yvie looked down at the fish, who was bubbling and taunting her, reminding her that she now had a gift from Scarlet, a thing to take home and look at and remember the now inky night and its fluorescent glow.
***
Yvie shook herself out of it, spotting a cluttered storefront, canvasses spilling out of the entrance and into the concrete.
“I wanna go check that out,” Yvie glanced over at Scarlet, pointing toward the storefront.
“Ooh yes yes,” Scarlet said, so easily excitable. “You’re in for such a treat, it’s all, like, garbage.”
“Garbage, babe?” Yvie asked.
A flush spread across Scarlet’s cheeks. Yvie ignored her impulse to brush her knuckle across Scarlet’s cheek, feel the heat rising off of her skin, warming Yvie from the outside in.
Yvie really had to stop accidentally calling Scarlet babe if she wanted to keep her feelings casual and her mind off of how cute Scarlet looked when she blushed.
Scarlet turned to the side to make it through the cluttered door, leading Yvie through the narrow walkways of the store, all lined with cheap beach: shorelines of only one shade of beige, white cresting waves from the shoreline all the way back; neon flip-flops that said live, laugh, love; imitation vintage Coca Cola advertisements printed on thin metal sheets; a display of pet rocks; a painting of a lonely red tulip in a sea of black and white tulips.
Scarlet let go of Yvie’s hand and spread her arms out wide, touching claustrophobic stacks of canvases on either side of her.
“Garbage!” She announced.
Yvie swallowed, immediately regretting this stop, feeling the paintings closing in on her, her mind wandering off to her art lessons, her professors, her paintings back home. It all made the air feel thick, viscous, something she couldn’t breathe.
“What’s going on?” Scarlet lowered her arms, looking Yvie dead in the eye, as though she already knew what the problem was but needed Yvie to confirm it. “Aren’t you enjoying the garbage?”
If she could help it, she wouldn’t laugh. But Yvie, of course, couldn’t help it.
“This is my future,” Yvie looked around the store once more, now noticing the paint splattered Pollock imitations; the singular umbrella and beach ball canvases; a stack of magnets that doubled as bottle openers. She gripped the fish tighter. “This is it. I’m gonna finish school and have nothing to do with my life after that. And if I want to do something with my art degree, I’m gonna end up making this knock off bullshit. And if I don’t, I wasted all my time and money.”
“Well that’s not true,” Scarlet replied, her voice soft, her tone firm. “I’m sure the people who make and buy this done even know it’s garbage. Like they’re people who are really excited to buy a picture of Marilyn Monroe with her skirt blown up, a puka shell necklace, and a pet rock, all in the same place.” Scarlet lent her a sincere smile, leaning against a table full of striped canvases. “You know it’s garbage because you do real art.”
“How do you know I do real art?”
“Because you’re always observing shit and you hate Photoshop.” Scarlet laughed, giving Yvie a nudge.
Yvie settled against the table as well. “Wanting to do real art doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.”
Scarlet tilted her head toward Yvie, looking perplexed. “It absolutely does mean you’ll do it.” She placed her hand on Yvie’s thigh, scooching closer so their arms were pressed together.
“You’re the only one who decides what you’re going to do. If you don’t want to do some capitalist garbage art, then don’t do some capitalist garbage art. You’re the only one who has control over you.”
Yvie laid her head on Scarlet’s shoulder, finding her voice mild and even, steadying, affirming.
Scarlet continued. “So, if you’re going to do it, you know, be a real artist, be happy, the only person who’s going to stop you is yourself.”
Yvie inhaled deeply through her nose and exhaled out her mouth, tilting her head up to steal a look at Scarlet, whose eyes were closed, her lips gently parted.
Scarlet was a warm soul, Yvie decided.
She laid her hand on top of where Scarlet’s lay.
She could have feelings for her, if only she were prepared for her heart to break so dearly.
***
Upon leaving the store, Scarlet announced that ice cream had to be eaten after a depressing conversation, on the basis of the full moon tomorrow and also her soul. Yvie could not, and did not want to argue with that reasoning, mostly because she found that reasoning exceptionally cute, especially as Scarlet blabbered on about the time she tried to make ice cream at home with her roommate. The two of them tossed the bag of cream, vanilla, ice, and rock salt back and forth until Scarlet threw the bag far too hard against the decorative swordfish — the one that came with the house and was apparently not budging from the wall — which caused the bag to explode.
Yvie nodded along, entering the store as Scarlet opened the door for her. It was endearing, how Scarlet went into a silly story that made her look foolish in the end, probably knowing how it would pull Yvie’s mood a few shades lighter than it was before.
“What do you think you’re getting?” Scarlet came up behind Yvie, peering over her shoulder to see which flavor she was looking at.
“Orange pineapple,” Yvie muttered, still staring at the ice cream in front of her, as though she were trying to figure it out. “Such a weird flavor.”
Scarlet hummed in agreement, “I think I’m gonna get it. Wanna split it?”
Yvie turned back to look at Scarlet, her face only inches away from hers, her heartbeat growing livelier and livelier at the proximity. Close enough that she could see the slight curl of Scarlet’s eyelashes. Close enough to know they shared the same air, same breath. Close enough to notice Scarlet’s lip gloss fading away, leaving behind only a few bits of glitter, sparkling under the fluorescents. In less than a few careless inches, she could—
“Yeah, uh, definitely.” Yvie’s words stumbled. “Let’s split it.”
She shifted the goldfish to her other hand. She was not going to kiss Scarlet. That, she decided, was a point from which she’d never return. She’d indulged her feelings against her logic, but that, that she would not do.
They sat together on a bench outside the shop, Scarlet curling her legs underneath herself, leaning in closer to Yvie, taking up her spoon.
“How is it?” Scarlet asked, holding the cup steady with one hand, scooping a bit of ice cream out with the other.
“It doesn’t really taste like orange or pineapple, it just tastes like orange,” Yvie replied, dipping in again, finding it hard to ignore the way Scarlet was practically sat in her lap, the innocent intimacy of sharing.
Scarlet went in for another spoonful. “I thought you said it doesn’t taste like orange thought.”
Yvie laughed at herself, lightly shoving Scarlet’s shoulder with her own. “I meant orange, like the color.”
“Honestly, I feel like orange should have different names,” Scarlet pondered. She licked off her spoon, pulling it out of her mouth with a pop. “Like, orange the color and orange the fruit should fight to see what’s going to be the alpha orange. Because right now I’m looking like an idiot in front of a pretty girl, just because orange and orange are the same word.”
Yvie held her spoon in place, trying to interpret what Scarlet just said, but falling short. All she could offer was a smile and a promise to herself that she’d spend all her time before bed turning those words over in her head: being addressed as pretty girl and the beautiful girl who’d spoken it.
***
Yvie handed F. Scott Fishgerald to a child, who was upset over losing the water gun race, who was worked up over not receiving a prize.
“We really are a couple of nice lesbians, huh?” Yvie chuckled, “You win a fish, we show the fish a good time, then the fish goes to bring joy to a child.”
Scarlet snorted, taking Yvie’s hand and leading her toward the Ferris wheel, which she insisted was absolutely necessary for a perfect summer date, a phrase that made Yvie bubble up inside the more she heard it and the longer she internalized it.
“Please, you were probably gonna kill that thing anyway.”
Yvie held her hand to her chest, scandalized. “Excuse you, Scarlet? My most prized possession? F. Scott Fishgerald was going to die of natural causes in his sleep, surrounded by those he loved.”
Scarlet was overcome with laughter, bumping into a couple of signs as they entered the line for the Ferris wheel, Yvie steering her through the line.
“Like you were going to surround that fish on his deathbed.” Scarlet quirked a brow.
Yvie snorted. “Like that fish loved me.”
The line moved quickly, much quicker than expected. Within minutes, Yvie found herself sitting next to Scarlet in the cart. Scarlet gripped the lap bar eagerly as they ascended, inching ever upward and ever closer to Yvie, until they were suspended above the blackened ocean and Scarlet’s head lay on Yvie’s shoulder.
“I feel very small,” Scarlet spoke against Yvie’s shoulder, nuzzling herself into Yvie’s faded t-shirt.
“I think it’s hard not to, Scar.” Yvie inhaled deeply, letting the air fill her lungs fully, clearly, before exhaling, if for nothing but to feel the fullness, the reminder that she was very little more than air.
She peered down at Scarlet, wrapping her arm around her shoulders. She brushed Scarlet’s hair out of her face, her fingers slowly brushing over Scarlet’s cheek. She took her time, as though it were a new land to explore, to cherish.
Soft skin. Sparkling perfume. Pouting lips. Open heart. Eager eyes. Silken voice. Warm soul.
And the curve of her cheek.
Yvie found herself disinterested in the ocean below them. The slightness of the waves could not hold her gaze like the slightness with which Scarlet looked up at Yvie and said, “the stars are out. You look to your right and you’ll see them.”
But Yvie did not turn her head to see the stars. She wouldn’t release herself from the vision of Scarlet lit by the bulbs that dotted the outside of the Ferris wheel. The light caught on her cheek. The tip of her nose. Her collarbone. Her jaw.
Above the world, all that is worldly, her worldly self, there was only Scarlet caught in the afterglow of neon.
Yvie brushed her thumb across Scarlet’s jaw before tilting Scarlet up to meet her gaze.
Scarlet’s mouth opens, her eyes blown out.
“Scarlet, I…” Yvie trails off, as though she had something to say. She had nothing to say. She had run out of words. She found herself without excuses, stipulations, or reason. She found herself leaning in closer. Their foreheads met. “Scarlet—”
“Please,” Scarlet exhaled, her hot breath against Yvie’s lips.
Christ.
Yvie inched forward, capturing Scarlet’s still open lips in her own, resigning that she will never find a word to counter a please spoken like a revelation
#rpdr fanfiction#scyvie#scarlet envy#yvie oddly#vanessa vanjie mateo#brooke lynn hytes#silky nutmeg ganache#nina west#when the sun sets on us#phryne#beach au#lesbian au#concrit welcome#summer lovin' 2020#day 3: ice cream
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Humans are Weird “Hell School.”
Based on a prompt from a reader hope you like :) Don’t forget to send those critiques, questions, comments, messages, and prompts!
“Adam!”
“ADAM!”
“Coming.”
Krill peered from his spot on the couch as Captain Vir made his way down the stairs quickly at the call of the Alpha female.
“I just got a call from your old High School.”
Krill watched in fascination as the man’s eyes widened his knees locked up and he skidded right into a doorframe.
He rubbed his head as the alpha female peered around the doorframe.
“Well what do THEY want…..” He frowned
“Oh, Adam, don’t sound so annoyed, you’re a bit of a celebrity, and they just want you to come and give a talk at the school about your work, no big deal.”
“I most definitely will not! I’m not going back to that place.”
***
They stood outside the massive concrete and brick building as snow billowed around them. High chain link fences rose towards the cloudy sky.
“It looks like a prison.”
“It IS a prison.” The man muttered trudging through the snow and up to the doors carrying Krill over one shoulder contained within his specialized containment unit. He shouldered open the doors into the warm entryway bombarded suddenly by an array of pulses. The doors ahead of them buzzed once and then blinked green letting them inside.
“That’s new.” The man muttered stepping into the long hallway to stomp snow from his boots on the inner carpet. Setting down the containment tube, he opened the door and allowed Krill to scuttle outwards onto the floor. He looked around in curiosity, eyes wide and wondering at the long hallway lined in doors and strange containment lockers blinking lights red for locked.
“What is this place?” He wondered following the Captain towards the first set of doors.
“Hell Krill, This is hell.” Krill kind of doubted that. Very much as they passed through the doors into a small office space with a long desk manned by two plum middle-aged human females. They looked up as he entered looking confused for a minute before.
“Adam, is that you, I barely recognized you under that.” She waved a hand up and down, “and the gaudy eyepatch doesn’t help.”
He frowned, opening his mouth to respond.
The woman nudged her companion, “Look Susan its little Adam Vir, can hardly believe it.” It was just then, she noticed Krill, and the scream she let off could have ruptured glass if there was any glass in the room to be found. “What is that?!” She demanded leaping backwards nearly out of her chair. Krill found himself oddly satisfied. A lot of Earth humans weren’t nearly as brave as their space human counterparts. He had never made a human scream before.
“That.” Vir said smugly, “Is Krill, my crew’s acting medic and, oh yeah very much an alien.”
The woman stammered for a moment before grabbing a couple of badges and tossing them over the desk towards Vir who caught them and gave a grin.
“The auditorium.” The woman said curtly before retreating further behind her desk, as Captain Vir led Krill back out into the hallway and down. Krill watched the doors pass by peering in through cracked doors at lines of desks and young humans staring glassy eyed towards the front of the room listening to a single voice droning on and on.
“Really captain, what is this?”
Captain Vir sighed, “In this country and on Earth I general, it is mandatory for everyone to receive public education up until about the age of eighteen. One this continent we have elementary middle and high school education. Subjects include science, mathematics, English, communications, linguistics, geography, health and physical education. Then we have sports teams tagged onto that for after school activities.”
“That’s…. actually quite amazing Captain, I never knew that about humans.”
“Don’t worry, it’s generally completely useless and everything about it is designed to torture your soul into apathy.”
Krill followed confused but said nothing as they were met by a man who, claimed to be the “Principal”/ He was thrown off momentarily upon meeting Krill, but eventually let them backstage giving them a place to sit and rest while he called the students from class. He warned that there would be a few more curious people in attendance. Vir was beginning to look a little green.
They waited back stage for over an hour before the principle came back patting Vir on the shoulder. In that time Vir had changed into his uniform.
Krill could hear the sounds of many voices echoing up from the chamber beyond as the principle walked out onto stage. Distantly Krill could hear the speakers booming overhead, “Five years ago, Earth began peace talks with the Galactic assembly, and it took almost two years for earth to finally accept the terms of the peace talks. The six month war with the Drev took place two months after we joined, and a thousand of our soldiers were sent in aid of our galactic allies. Much of this had been made possible by a man who graduated from this very school not so many years ago. At only age 20 Then Lieutenant Adam Vir was the first human to encounter sentient life. Two years later he fought alongside our galactic allies in the war against the Drev. He received a purple heart for injuries received and a silver star for valor in action. Two years later he was promoted to the Rank of captain, and now currently pilots our furthest reaching human space vessel. He has worked, in part, for the Galactic Assembly, and has helped with the construction of many human-related laws, now Please give a warm welcome to Captain Adam Vir.”
The man took a deep breath as the polite clapping began motioning Vir out behind him as he walked onto stage. Upon seeing Krill, the room erupted in a measure of gasping, shrieking and awes of wonder.
Captain Vir leaned against the podium and waited for the crowd to die down. Krill hid behind him.
When they finally did, he responded, “Look I don’t have a speech prepared or anything so if you want me to talk you better ask. Otherwise I can stand here for an hour staring at you and just make it weird and awkward for everyone. Don’t bother raising your hands, I’m not about that.”
Pause, “What the hell is that!” He frowned, “That is actually very rude, so don’t be a Jerk.” He stepped aside allowing the students to see Krill, “This is my crew’s acting medic Krill. If you have one of those universal translator apps on your phone, you should probably use it unless you have the implants and then, more power to you.”
The phones were already out pointed directly at Krill. Questions were shouted out at random and at great vigor.
Krill stumbled to answer most of them unsure how to answer the question. Despite his poor stage presence, the students seemed thrilled that he could even talk. There was never a moment of silence, and why would there be, this was probably the most interesting thing that happened to them all year.
“Do you wear the eyepatch because you think it makes you look cool?”
There was a pause, “I have two answers for that one. One I don’t have an eye, and number two…. Yes…. Absolutely why wouldn’t I wear an eyepatch. My question is, why wouldn’t anyone else?”
“What did you get your purple heart for?”
“Well, I got my leg ripped off by a big ass alien…. Uh sorry I mean a nine foot tall alien.”
A collective, “Woa, can we see it.”
Krill was stunned, little savage.
“Yeah, sure.” He reached down and pulled up the leg on his pants to reveal the robotic leg underneath. “It goes up to about mid-thigh, good model though.”
“Tell us your most interesting story.”
“Oh…. Well sh- I mean uh….. I have a lot, like there was the time I lost my eye, saved an alien race from bubblegum pink overlords, ran a marathon on a class A-1 Death planet to avoid dying, accidentally killed an alien pirate by spitting on him, got locked inside a Rundi prison, navigated an asteroid field manually, killed a serial killer who tried to kill me, saved an alien child from drowning, won a battle by throwing rocks, battled an underwater leviathan, survived an attack by pirates, and uh of course made contact with the first E.T. life.”
The crowd was silent before demanding that he tell them as many of his stories as he could before their time was up.
Krill was encouraged to jump in on the stories, and by the time they were done Captain Vir was significantly more relaxed than before. Krill hid behind the podium most of the time.
Eventually the Principal had to dismiss the students to a chorus of booing, “Alright, Alright, enough of that, and les thank Captain Vir, for coming to speak with us today, no, no I have already gone over all the time I am willing.”
Vir stepped down from the stage greeting and speaking with some of the students as they left. Krill stood beside him as, suddenly the man grew stiff.
“Hey look Alien Adam, Can’t believe it’s really you.” A rather large…. Mildly flabby human walked up to the two of them. He looked Captain Vir up and down, “and you finally got some muscle on you.”
“And you finally got fat.” Captain Vir responded immediately. The other human seemed surprised before his eyes narrowed in anger.
“You-“
“The captain held up a hand, “Ah ah, hold on distinguished veteran with frontal lobe damage, I can’t control my impulses.”
Krill looked between the two men, “You know each other?”
Before the other man could speak, captain Vir held up a hand, “Yes, we do, he made my life a living hell for four years all because he peaked in high school, and I didn’t. Now I’m winningly successful, and he’s been in the same dead-end job for the past seven years.”
“Brain damage?”
“No, that was all me. And one more thing. I was right.”
The man huffed, “Come on Adam, you can hardly blame me. You were a weird kid like I mean what kind of person ACTUALLY believe in UFO’s and Aliens. It wasn’t normal.”
“Oh yeah, and it was only about me being a geek, nothing about how skinny I was, or the graphic T-shirts, or how short I was, or my braces, or how bad I was at sports. And I’m going to go right ahead and point out that a lot of people believed that the sun revolved around the earth for a long time, that didn’t make them right, but you couldn’t leave it alone, and now that it turns out I wasn’t crazy you seem to think it’s just ok to come up and insult me again.”
The man worked his jaw somewhere between anger and surprise.
“What, have nothing to say now, that I won’t just lay down and take it…..” He took a slow deep breath calming himself, “I found what I was looking for, and I don’t need you explaining yourself to me. You were a jerk, and here was no reason to be. You messed me up for a long time, but I am over what you did to me, and I am done with this conversation.”
He stepped past the man with Krill at his heels Krill following after, “What was that about?”
He sighed long and deep, “I wasn’t always as fantastically awesome as I am now.” He chuckled to himself, “When I was younger, a lot of people didn’t believe in Extra-terrestrials, interstellar technology was still in in its infant stages….. And, I well, I believed that everyone was wrong. I was sure aliens were real, so I looked for UFOs, I spent all my allowance on a telescope. I was so obsessed, it came at the exclusion of everything else, health, sports, eating, I was probably really weird, and some people used that as an excuse to be real assholes to me.”
“Is that common in human schools?”
Captain Vir sighed, “All too common I’m afraid, thousands of years and we still can’t shake it…. But I was right.”
“We were never alone.”
#humans are space orcs#humans are weird#humans are space oddities#humans are space australians#earth is space australia
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A Christmas Carol
Summary: Loki can’t stand Christmas. You can’t stand Loki. But everything might change when he is forced to visit a Christmas market with you.
Prompts used: 113 (I’m good to go), 90 ([I] felt that winter wind blow cold), 55 (With you), 50 (Hand in my hand)
Pairing: Loki x gender neutral reader
Warnings: just festive fluff I guess
Words: 5,3k
A/N: My first fanfic on here, yay! Please feel free to point out any mistakes I made so I can improve my English :)
„I can’t believe it.“ You said. “It’s Christmas Eve, and I am alone on my way to the Christmas market. How is this happening?” Angrily, you threw your hands up. “They all let me down, even though they know how much I looked forward to it! Some friends they are.”
Your enraged breath created little clouds in the cold air when you continued walking along the street. You faced the ground underneath your feet, mumbled a few more unflattering words, and then took a deep breath. “Pull yourself together, (Y/N). It’s Christmas, the time of giving and forgiving. Let them stay home. I can have fun by myself, thank you very much.”
It was no secret to your fellow Avengers that Christmas was by far your favourite holiday. That’s why they had promised to join you to visit your favourite Christmas market many, many times. However until today, December 24, there had always been something in the way; important missions, meetings or training. But now it was Christmas Eve. Everyone had a day off, and therefore time for the market – right? You wished.
Clint, the Hawkeye, visited his family over the holidays and his best friend Natasha, Black Widow, came with him. In a last-minute-decision, he also took Wanda, the young Scarlet Witch. And naturally, Vision had followed in Wanda’s footsteps, so he was gone, too.
The same applied to War Machine Rhodey, who was also across the country with his family.
Then there was Iron Man Tony, who had declared loudly and dramatically that he would be spending the entire day with his fiancée Pepper and only her and God help the person that bothered them.
Steve, Bucky and Sam, aka Super Soldier, Winter Soldier and Falcon Soldier, had all volunteered to spend time with veterans and their families.
And lastly, Thor, to everyone’s complete surprise, had caught a heavy cold on one of your last missions. Nobody, including Thor himself and his wickedly smart stepbrother Loki, had known that could happen to Norse gods. But nevertheless, Thor was forced to stay in bed on the greatest day of the whole year. Bruce, part-time-scientist and Thor’s best friend, part-time green rage monster, was in charge of him. But spending Christmas Eve bringing Thor warm soup and enduring his never ending rants of self-pity? Even going to the Christmas Market all alone sounded better than that.
-
So you’d taken off, had left Avengers HQ and were now on your way to the next bus station. After checking the timetable (luckily the next bus would arrive in just a few minutes), you sat down on a bench by the station.
Finally, you were able to completely calm yourself. It was Christmas, the happiest time of the year. You were going to have a great day at the market, it did not matter with (or without) whom you were going to spend it. The Avengers didn’t know what they were missing.
It was only then that you noticed something weird. Being an agent, your senses were pretty well trained and it confused you that this was the first time you had this odd feeling. Your intuition told you that you weren’t as alone as you had thought you were.
You looked around and saw nothing. Nobody. Empty streets, empty sideways. “Aw, what the hell?” You muttered. You really weren’t in the mood for an ambush right now. Even though you could, of course, easily level a few robbers. But you hadn’t stretched or warmed up today, after all, it was a day off.
“Please, will you finally stop talking to yourself?”
You spun around. Where was this voice coming from? You still couldn’t spot anyone. “Show yourself!” You demanded loudly and hopefully in the right direction. Your muscles tensed and you clenched your fists, ready to defend yourself.
“Calm down.” The disembodied voice spoke. It sounded even more annoyed than the first time. “It’s me.”
“Ugh.” You began to figure out who it was – the only person you knew who turned himself invisible simply for the fun of it. “This isn’t funny, Loki.”
With a flash of green light, Loki appeared next to you, seemingly out of thin air. He chuckled softly. “It was for me.”
You scoffed and got up from the bench. “Douchebag. What do you want?”
Loki rolled his eyes. “Your friends seem to feel guilty for letting you go all alone. So my brother and Bruce insisted I kept you company.”
You groaned again. Thor and Bruce had send Loki to accompany you? Really? Him of all persons? You decided to have a very serious talk with them about that when you got back.
“Thanks, but I don’t need a chaperon.” You said, waving him away with your hand. “Bye.”
“Trust me, dearest (Y/N), I don’t like this any more than you do. But it is happening.” He said.
“There is no need!” You saw the bus coming. The time to get rid of Loki was running out quickly. “Really, Loki. I’m good to go alone. Thanks again.”
Loki crossed his arms. “I thought you didn’t want to go alone.”
You looked at him. “How do you … ?” Then you remembered. “Right! You made yourself invisible and eavesdropped on me.” I stressed the words in an attempt to make him feel bad about his idiotic behaviour. Judging by his cheeky smile, you didn’t succeed.
“You were the one talking to yourself. I had to listen to your whining.” Loki spoke, imitating my tone of voice.
What an absolute a-hole! Speechless, you turned towards the bus and stepped inside, not caring if Loki followed you or not. You couldn’t believe this was happening.
-
Loki had lived on your planet for quite a while now. Apparently he was a danger for Asgard and his throne, so to avoid being executed he had to move to earth, into Avengers HQ. You could tell he hated it. Hated the living conditions and the human society with its rules and values (including everything that had to do with Christmas). Hated having to be with the Avengers all the time. Hated to actually do good things when he joined you on missions here and then. But Thor had to have an eye on him almost 24/7, that was the only kind of freedom Loki got. And yes, it sucked. But it didn’t make him likable or his behaviour okay.
Being an Avenger, you were often around Loki. And just like your teammates, you had your unspoken quarrels with him. It didn’t matter that he was kind of good now. He’d still attacked your hometown New York with aliens. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t from earth; him being rude and completely oblivious to any human customs was still annoying as hell. It also didn’t matter that he was really attractive, you still didn’t like him one bit. That’s why you never talked to him if not necessary. And you had decided to keep it that way for today.
So you stayed quiet during the whole bus ride. It wasn’t very hard, you were still pissed.
When your stop came up, you got up from your seat and walked towards the nearest door, Loki did the same.
“Get lost.” You started a last attempt to make him leave.
He sighed. “I really want to, but I can’t.”
You got off the bus and a gust of cold winter wind blew you right in the face immediately. You shuddered and pulled your beanie down to cover your forehead.
Meanwhile, Loki eyed the Christmas market which was now right in front of you. It was a big square confined on three sides by tall houses and a church in one of the corners. In the middle of the place stood a giant Christmas tree next to a big decorative Christmas pyramid. Even though it was only early afternoon, everything was illuminated by bright lights. The place was crowded with groups of people, strolling by the many festively decorated stalls, drinking hot beverages and generally enjoying themselves and the time they spend with their loves ones. Everything oozed joy, happiness and Christmas spirit. Loki definitely hated it.
“You’re cold, let’s make this quick.” He said.
You didn’t even bother explaining to him that being quick didn’t make sense at an event like a Christmas market. You were too mad at him. How could a person be so barefaced? This was your visit to the Christmas market – on Christmas! And were you going to let Loki ruin it? Not a chance. That strategy would not work on you. You wanted this time, and like you’d told yourself earlier, it didn’t matter who you spend it with. Screw Loki and his dislike for anything human-y and nice. He had been annoying you from the start, now it was time to give back.
You turned towards him, a flashing smile on your face. “You can go anytime you want, you know.”
He just closed his eyes and sighed in defeat.
-
The Christmas market was every bit as beautiful as it had been in the last years. The market stalls radiated warmth and the smell of pine cones, punch and marzipan. Some of them played Christmas songs from the 80s and 90s that just towed the line between annoying and iconic. All these strings of lights were the most beautiful thing you’d seen in a long time. People chattered, the sky was a bright white. The wind hadn’t slowed down, but you didn’t care anymore. Your senses were overwhelmed, but in a good way. In a holy-crap-I-missed-Christmastime-so-much-way. It didn’t even matter that Loki’s presence resembled a dark shadow following in your footsteps, his eyes full of quiet impatience.
After you’d crossed the whole square, you stopped by a table. It was time you got something to drink. “I’m going to get some mulled wine, you want some too?” You asked, kind of throwing your no-talking-policy overboard.
Loki wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Mulled wine?”
“Yeah.” You replied, internally rolling your eyes at his immediate aversion. “And Loki, if you never try anything new you’ll never–”
“I’ll take it, (Y/N).” He interrupted you.
You raised your eyebrows sceptically. “Really?”
Instead of answering, Loki just sat down at the table and crossed his arms in an expectant manner.
You shrugged, turned around and went to get two cups of the deliciously sweet, heated wine. You’d seen Loki having discussions with your teammates several times. Giving up this quickly was very unusual for him. Had he accepted the offer just to satisfy you? To shut you down? You shook your head. Whatever. Even if so. You didn’t care.
When you returned to the table, Loki looked as grumpy as ever.
“Here.” You handed him one of the cups of mulled wine you just bought. “Wine a bit, it’ll make you feel better.”
His eyes shot up to you. “What did you just say to me?” He asked sharply.
“Woah.” Even though you weren’t exactly afraid of him, you took a step back. “It was just a joke, a play on words.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“Wine – whine.” You explained. For a god, and a smart one for that matter, his brain seemed to work pretty slowly when it came to puns. But you didn’t make the mistake of saying that out loud. However there was something else you just had to get out: “Besides, Loki, even if it wasn’t a joke, you told me earlier that my talking sounded like whining, so it’s only fair.”
Loki raised the cup of wine to his lips and drank. You noticed that this was already the second time of him not answering to something you’d said. And it made you grin widely. Had you really been able to freeze that silver tongue of his? You were so going to tell the rest of the team.
You drank your own wine standing up while looking around at the people passing you by. The beverage was just delicious. And another reason you loved Christmastime. Too bad that drinking this stuff was considered weird during summer. You could drink it all year long.
When you were done, you turned back around to Loki. He was slowly putting down his emptied cup, his eyes closed, and a light smile on his lips.
You blinked in surprise. A smile. He was smiling. Not that you had never experienced that before. No, Loki was often smiling. Just always sarcastically. Or maliciously. Never had you seen him smile out of joy. Not until today.
You pushed lightly at his shoulder. “Stop having so much fun, Loki!” You chuckled.
He opened his eyes and the smile faded. You almost regretted teasing him, but then he looked at you and said: “That tasted surprisingly well. It was not nearly as good as the wine in Asgard, but, for Midgard …”
You tilted you head, now making the same expectant expression he’d done earlier.
Loki rolled his eyes, but the smile returned. “Thank you, (Y/N).” He finally said.
“You’re welcome.” You answered, very pleased with yourself. “Now give me your cup, I’ll return it. And afterwards … if you want, we can get out of here. Go home.”
He handed me his cup. “We don’t have to leave yet.”
“Really? I thought you didn’t like it here.”
“I never said that.”
“Not with your words.”
He sighed. “Fine, I didn’t like it at first. But with you, it’s almost bearable.”
You laughed, and then turned around to return the cups, leaving Loki with these last words. “With me it’s ’almost bearable’, huh?” You said to yourself, giggling. You felt your cheeks turn red with happiness, and you didn’t know if it was because of Loki’s hidden compliment or because you now knew you could stay even longer at the market.
-
“Can I ask a question, Loki?” Now that you were exploring the Christmas market together, with him not just following you but actually walking beside you, you didn’t want the two of you to remain quiet. You hated uncomfortable silences. So you’d decided to start a conversation.
“Certainly, (Y/N).” He answered.
You had never noticed how soft and velvety his voice was. For a second, you almost forgot your question. “Do … do your people celebrate Christmas as well?”
He looked at you. “The Æsir?”
“U-hu.” You nodded.
“The Æsir are not my people.” Loki spoke. You could tell he was trying to hide the bitterness in his voice, but it wasn’t working well.
“Sorry.” You said quickly, even though you weren’t sure what exactly you’d done wrong.
But as quick as the topic had come up, Loki dropped it. “The folk in Asgard celebrates a festival called Yule.” He told you. “I believe it to be similar to your Christmas.”
“Yule.” You repeated the word. “Sounds beautiful. Tell me more.”
He sighed. “It’s a winter holiday celebrating faith, family and love, what more do you need to know?”
You bit your lip. Faith, family and love. From what you knew about Loki, he had little of either one. No wonder he hated Christmas. Or Yuletide. You looked at him, but his eyes were full of defiance rather than sadness. You decided not to bring it up. You didn’t know him well enough for that. Instead you said: “Anything else? What’s different from our Christmas here on earth? ”
“Hm, let’s see.” Loki looked at the sky, thinking. “Well, for once, the presents aren’t brought by an overweight old man.”
“Hey.” You gave him a playfully serious look. “Not a word against Santa.”
“Your ‘Santa’ looks like my adoptive father, Odin.” Loki grimaced. “Only the eyepatch is missing.”
You laughed, even though you’d never laid and eye upon Odin. “Does your adoptive dad also have a flying sleigh with eight reindeer?”
Loki shook his head. “No, but he does have an eight legged horse.”
You stopped walking and forced him to stop, too. “You’re kidding. Eight legs?”
“Exactly.” He seemed surprised you doubted him.
“No. That’s not possible!”
“Actually, Sleipnir is my offspring, (Y/N).”
You started laughing out loudly. “I don’t believe you, Loki.”
“I’m serious!” He asserted.
“Shut up!” You almost snorted with laughter. “There is no way, an eight-legged horse is your – how did you put it? – ‘offspring’.”
Loki sighed. “I guess I should call myself lucky to get this kind of reaction.”
You wiped away a tear. Loki’s story was too absurd, it could never be true. “So, then, if not Santa, who does bring the presents in Asgard?” You wanted to know.
“Will you believe me this time?” He asked.
“Depends.”
“Okay.” He sighed again. “It’s a goat. The Yule goat.”
You tried your absolute hardest to remain a neutral face and voice. “And, this Yule goat, is he your offspring too, Loki?”
“You offend me, (Y/N).” He said dead serious, looking into your eyes.
Then you both broke out into laughter. You hadn’t laughed this hard in a long time. Your eyes started to tear again and your belly hurt. But these things faded to the background when your gaze met Loki. You had never seen him laughing out of joy before, either. He was bending his head slightly backwards and one of his hands was pressed against his chest. Every sliver of spite, every hint of annoyance had vanished from his eyes and his features. He looked like a whole new person, a healthier one, a happier one. He wasn’t just attractive anymore, he was good-looking. Plus his laugh was one of the most pleasant sounds you had ever heard. You were completely in awe.
It took you a few seconds to notice that Loki had stopped laughing and was now looking at you with an awkward expression on his face. “Are you alright, (Y/N)?”
“Uh, yeah.” You stuttered. “I … I just had an idea. I’ll be back in ten minutes, Loki, just wait here, please.” And with that, you quickly turned around and practically ran away into the isle between the two nearest market stalls. Away from Loki and your embarrassment. You had probably stared at him with glassy eyes for who knows how long. The mere thought made you cringe. What would he think of you now? And in the same heartbeat you wondered since when cared what Loki thought.
-
The sky had already darkened when you were finally ready to leave the Christmas market.
You and Loki had both gotten another cup of mulled wine and you had introduced him to roasted almonds which (surprise!) he liked more that he’d previously thought he would. Then the two of you had inspected a good portion of the many market stalls selling all kinds of festive odds and ends. And you’d explained the Christmas pyramid to Loki and in that context also the whole story of Baby Jesus’s birth. He found the tale just as ridiculous as I had found the one about the Sleipnir, eight-legged horse.
But by now, it really was time to leave; even you had to admit that. You guided Loki back towards the bus station, which was overcrowded with people. Apparently this was a popular time to leave the market. “Oh, no.” You sighed. “I doubt we will all fit into one bus. We’re going to have to wait for the next one or even for the one after that if we want to get home.”
“Or” Loki took your arm. “We could walk. It’s not that far.”
You tilted your head. It was starting to get pretty cold pretty fast. And despite what Loki said, the way home was not only a short hop. But waiting for the bus? At least walking would keep you warm. “Alright.” You decided. “Let’s go.”
Turned out you were wrong. Even though you had chosen a swift speed, you immediately started to freeze. Shivering, you wrapped your arms around yourself.
“How are you not cold?” You asked Loki to distract yourself. You had noticed a while ago that he was only wearing an opened black coat over a thin grey sweater with a green and gold scarf decoratively draped around his neck. Nothing to cover his head and no gloves. Yet the cold didn’t seem to bother him at all.
You, on the other hand, had put on your warmest hoodie underneath your winter jacket. You wore your favourite woollen beanie and on your hands your thickest gloves. They were buried in your pockets as deep as possible. And you were still freezing cold.
“I do not get cold.” Loki said and shrugged. “After all, I am a Frost Giant.”
You were surprised. You hadn’t known that about him, but then again, until today you had never really cared for Loki. “That’s why you said that the Æsir weren’t your people.”
He nodded. “Now if you start asking questions about how the folk in Jötunheimr are celebrating Christmas …”
I cut him off, laughing. “I wasn’t going to.”
“Good.”
“For a giant, you’re kinda small, Loki.”
Okay, technically, Loki was a tall person. He was certainly taller than you, taller than Bruce and even taller than Cap. But you had seen humans larger than him. And that, in your opinion, made him small, at least for a self-proclaimed giant. And then another thought crossed your mind and you grinned. “Thor is taller than you!”
Loki stopped walking and turned towards you with a suddenly outraged look, pointing his finger. “Why did you have to mention Thor, (Y/N)? I swear, next time I–“ He interrupted himself. “Stop shaking.“
“I can’t.” You answered, your teeth chattering. “It’s really f-f-freaking cold. Can we w-walk again?”
You continued walking on the sideway. Luckily, Loki had forgotten his anger about being compared to Thor. He seemed to be more concerned about your wellbeing, his eyes never leaving you. Strangely enough, it made you feel like you were melting under his eyes. Even though the only heat you were feeling was the warmth of your bright red cheeks.
“C-can you please stop s-staring at me?” You asked after a few minutes as you felt slightly embarrassed by his behaviour and the lack of talking. “Or is the c-c-concept of freez-z-zing that f-foreign to you?”
“It isn’t.” Loki answered. “I just want to be able to catch you should something happen.”
Your breath caught in your throat. What did he just say?
“My brother and your friends would kill me if I let you get hurt.” He continued. “After all, they sent me to have an eye on you.”
Oh. Yeah, you were stupid. What the hell was going on with you? A few hours ago, there had been few things you loathed more than this guy’s face, and now? You could have looked at his face all day. And so, you did exactly that: you turned your head and looked into his eyes. “That excuse gets old, you know.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Excuse?”
“You know what I’m talking about. You could have had one of your illusions to ‘have an eye on me’.” You said. “You’re smart enough, Thor and Bruce would have never noticed. You could have made it stay invisible the whole afternoon, and I too wouldn’t have known.”
Loki laughed nervously. “That’s an allegation, (Y/N). I would never betray my brother like that nor would I invade your privacy.”
You nodded sarcastically. “Oh, sure you wouldn’t. You chose to spend this afternoon with me at the Christmas market, just admit it!”
Loki shook his head. “Even if I did, I–”
Fortunately for him, in that exact same second a large truck rushed alongside the two of you. And not only did the motor of the vehicle make ridiculously loud noise, but it also left you and Loki in a cloud of stinking exhaust gases.
“So, do you regret it?” You asked once the dust had settled and could remove your hands from your nose.
Loki shook his head after a few seconds of thinking.
“You seem to get used to our earthly customs, because anything else would have been rude.”
He ignored your comment and said: “Now it’s my turn. Why’d you run away from me earlier? What was that idea of yours?“
“You want to know if that was also just an excuse?” You smiled sweetly.
Loki sighed. “(Y/N), are you aware of how obnoxious you are acting?”
“I’m just giving you a taste of your own medicine!” You argued.
He laughed, but not happily. “You remind me of Thor.”
“Are you insulting me?” You couldn’t help but raise your voice.
“Being compared to your friend Thor should hardly be and insult to you!” Loki said just as loud.
“It was to you, and you’re his brother!”
“So what why did you run away from me?”
“I was buying you a Christmas present!”
Loki went silent.
You gladly did the same. You were freezing too much to really follow what just happened anyways. Also you were out of breath and it didn’t feel good, because the air was ice-cold.
“You bought me a present?” Loki asked.
You coughed and pressed your hands to your chest. Your lung was feeling like it was being pierced with a thousand knives every time you took a breath.
Loki’s eyes changed from surprise to concern. “(Y/N), are you feeling alright? Look at me!”
You would’ve loved to, but tears clouded your vision. You squirmed and gasped for air. It felt like your own breath was choking you.
You felt Loki’s hands on your back and shoulder, steadying you. “Breathe, (Y/N)!” His voice was near your ear. “Just breathe, slowly.”
It took you a little longer to collect yourself. But finally the pain wore off, so you could wipe away your tears and catch your breath. Loki was still holding you, which was a good thing, because your knees felt week. “Thank you, Loki.” Was the first sentence you said when you regained your ability to form words.
“Let’s get you home, (Y/N).” He simply answered.
For the remainder of the way, Loki let you lean on him, your hand in his hand. He held you as if he feared you could slip away from his grasp.
-
Half an hour later, you were lying in your bed in Avengers HQ. You had tucked yourself under a warm blanket and Bruce was bringing you hot chicken soup.
“Please don’t you get sick too, (Y/N).” He said when he sat down the bowl on your bed stand.
“I won’t” You promised with a weak smile. “I’m just tired. I – we – walked around a lot.”
Bruce scratched the back of his head. “I still feel bad about sending Loki after you, but he was the only one available. Did you have an okay day with him?”
“I did.” You were still smiling.
Bruce nodded. “I’m glad. Get better, (Y/N).”
“Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
You left your bed only once that evening, to return the empty bowl to the kitchen and make yourself a hot chocolate. On your way back you saw Loki sitting alone in the living room, reading a book, his forehead resting in one of his hands. His eyes didn’t seem to be focused on the pages at all, but maybe that was just you imagining things.
-
The next day was Christmas Day. You woke up early and tiptoed to Loki’s room, his present in your hands. You had figuratively and literally lost sleep over the question of when would be the right time to give it to him, since he didn’t have a Christmas stocking like all the others. Eventually you had decided on leaving it at his door, secretly, so that he would notice it when he left. A handover without personal contact. And definitely not in front of the other Avengers. That meant the least amount of embarrassment for you.
You crouched down in front of the door carefully. Everything was quiet, it didn’t sound like Loki was awake yet. So you carefully placed the present on the ground. It was a Yule goat, made out of straw, about the size of a shoebox. Sometime yesterday during your conversation with Loki about Yule, you had remembered seeing a market stall selling traditional Scandinavian Christmas decoration. Then, after, well, running away from him, you’d gone back there and bought the goat.
After delivering the present it was time for breakfast with your friends before everyone would empty their stockings. Bruce and Tony were the only ones in the kitchen yet, but that wasn’t the first thing you noticed after you’d entered. The first thing you noticed was Tony’s bright red Christmas sweater – the ugliest one you had ever seen. Christmas spirit at its finest. You loved it.
“(Y/N)! Merry Christmas!” Tony shouted when he spotted you and ran to give you a hug. He squeezed you tighter than usual and laughed a little louder as well. Was he drunk already? Probably. He was Tony Stark after all.
“Woah, good morning!” You chuckled and took a seat at the big table.
In doing so, your eyes crossed with Bruce’s, who had just wrestled the breakfast champagne bottle out of Tony’s grip. He looked exhausted already. Poor man. Yesterday it had been Thor, now he needed to take care of Tony. You gave him a sympathetic look. “Hey Bruce. Merry Christmas.”
However before Bruce could react, a tall figure sat down next to you. You turned around and looked right into a familiar pair of eyes.
“Uh, Loki, good morning.”
“A good morning, indeed.” He said with a broad smile.
You laughed awkwardly. “How comes?”
Loki leaned forward, his face only inches from yours. “Earlier, a little Yule goat came by my door and brought me a present.” He whispered.
Thor, who had apparently arrived alongside with Loki, settled himself next his brother. “Really?” He asked with his booming, yet at the moment a little husky voice. “A Yule goat?”
Loki shot him a murderous glare. “Eavesdropping is considered rude on this planet, brother.” He spoke sourly.
Normally, you’d now said something like ‘I really am a good influence on you, huh?’ And it would have ruined the moment.
You really had acted obnoxiously yesterday. Not everything needed to be said out loud. Sometimes it was enough to know. And right now, it was enough to know that you had made Loki a tiny bit of a better person.
“Thank you for the present, (Y/N).” He finally said.
“Do you like it?”
“Very much. It … it makes my room feel a little bit like home.” You met Loki’s eyes, and they smiled, he smiled.
And you smiled back at him. “You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Loki.” Then, you leaned in and gave him a hug, wrapping your arms around his chest. It had been a completely spontaneous action, a kind of reflex, but you were glad you decided not to fight it.
You felt him taking a deep breath. “Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”
-
It was like a little sun had risen inside of Loki on this day. A light that fought away the bitterness. You could hear its warmth radiating in his voice every time he spoke, saw its glow in his eyes when he looked at you. You even felt the heat through his skin whenever he gently took your hand – which, from this Christmas Day on, would happen increasingly often.
#Loki#Marvel#MCU#loki fanfic#marvel fanfic#loki x reader#loki x you#fanfic#fanfiction#fluff#Jule'sffs#christmas
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『NATALIA DYER ❙ DEMI GIRL』 ⟿ looks like PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL is here for HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year as a WILDLIFE SCIENCE student. SHE/THEY are 19 years old & known to be WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC & UNPREDICTABLE. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 20. EST. SHE/THEY.
hllo this is a slightly older bt not tht old like. minus a year old muse of mine tht i thought wld fit rly well into this group n i hope u guys all love her bc i love her a lot !!! anyways pls drop a LIKE if u wld like to plot because i need to know. who to plot with. there’s so many people pleathe help me out HBSJDNKFMGLH
TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. MENTAL ILLNESS ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.
aesthetic.
wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.
basic info.
full name: philomena brontë carmichael
nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.
b.o.d. - april 20th lmao !!
label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.
height: 5′4″
hometown: woodside, ca
sexuality: ??? $500 ebay mystery box. pansexual if you had to label it.
pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)
stats
inspired by: luna lovegood (harry potter), orla mccool (derry girls), cassie ainsworth (skins), alice (alice’s adventures in wonderland), amelie (amelie).
biography.
a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.
the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.
so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.
they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.
hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.
it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.
it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.
they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.
and life continues as normal.
her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.
she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.
they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.
philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.
elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.
naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.
it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.
it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.
philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.
during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.
she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.
it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.
there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.
you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -
you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.
and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.
philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.
three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her GED and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.
they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.
they found refuge in lovell, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to radcliffe for the fall semester & they’ve been here since!
personality.
she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.
has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.
believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.
she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.
philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.
her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.
is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.
is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.
she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)
has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.
she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.
keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.
her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.
will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.
the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.
has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in lovell / radcliffe - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks
currently living in noland while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.
they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.
it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.
really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her.
will consume a n y t h i n g you put in front of her - isn’t picky.
listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.
loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.
owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.
has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.
also, juggling.
also, accordion.
the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.
dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.
everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.
( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )
comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra). has befriended the campus witch, or as much as the witch will allow, and shrike as well. she knows to respect nature, and abandoned sites - she’s practically free to explore as she wishes, her only pride is the trust she’s gained.
the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.
leaves her window in noland wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.
though her room in noland is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle.
wanted connections.
random encounters... it’s only her second semester at radcliffe, she hasn’t met everybody yet i’m sure
random encounters...in the wild... alternately, people she’s met before in a different part of the country. whether she’s stolen from them or crashed at their place, or simply shared a dinner. anything goes!
unexpected sleepover... someone whose place she crashed at after a mysterious night. a party, adventure, etc. etc. maybe they don’t even remember her staying over, maybe she hadn’t been with them to begin with.
employers... she does a lot of odd jobs! knows how to make a lot of things in many different mediums just to earn a small living.
friends... y’know ... people who enjoy her presence, likes her oddness. they may not understand her, but they appreciate her. or maybe they do understand her, in their own way!
not friends... philly doesn’t consider anybody an enemy in the slightest, but some people may not be fond of her ... think she’s a little too strange, or they refuse to understand her, or something of the likes.
closing in... someone trying to get closer to her, trying to figure her out on a level deeper than what she would like, and she keeps slipping out from between their fingers every time.
mom friend mom friend mom friend... older sibling figures! dad friends! take one look at philly and instantly want to swaddle n protect her.
caught red handed... someone catches her stealing or about to dine-n-dash. do they care? who knows!
late-night shenanigans... they just walk and talk at night ... very relaxing ... not actually very shenanigans filled...
a dealer... because she wasn’t born on 4/20 for nothing. she’s not turning 20 on 4/20/20 fr nothing. don’t fail us.
debating conspiracies... or superstitions, really anything. maybe they’re frustrated at her apathy surrounding all situations.
no likey... :( they distrust her. probably fr good reason tho ... i don’t blame you
thrifting pals... no explanation needed methinks
an eventual hook-up... maybe ... possibly ... it’s questionable, but it could happen! can’t stay a virgin forever! (or well. she cld. we’ll see!) she’d probably have to trust yr muse a lot though
unrequited romance uwu... probably unrequited on her end because she doesn’t usually think of anybody in a romantic sense - it’s possible, but you’d have to be something special for her to like you back. that being said ...
something returned... eventually, slowly. slow. it’ll take time.
maybe something returned !! eventually. slowly. slow.
n like rly anything u want !! anything u can think of i am here 2 fulfill ... we can brainstorm all sorts of wacky scenarios!! she’s a thief! she’s an accordion player! she dances naked in the woods! she’s been in the circus AND a small utah county jail!
#radintro#cancer tw#death tw#trauma tw#mental illness tw#grief implied#maggots tw#decay tw#body horror implied#just trying to cover my bases#anyways this took a Lot out of me n its already 3am ...#i'll get to my replies tmrw#n !! i'll reply to more starters !!#dnt stop wnt stop
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“Home.”
About: As requested by @peterhollandd (thanks love!), first-person pov narrator accompanies *cough* third wheels *cough* Wanda and Vision to Scotland- just as the fight for the mind stone begins in IW. None other than Captain America *cough* love interest *cough* saves the day.
Please feel free to send in any requests/prompts/anything you’ve been wanting to read- I’d be happy to write them!
Word Count: 3,640
It’s low key traumatic to revisit infinity war but if you haven’t I highly suggest you do- rogue Steve is it for me. That being said, I took some dialogue/scenes directly from the movie and changed others to better fit this story. Hope you enjoy!
I used to think New York was too rainy, then we came to Scotland. The sky was always opening up and pouring everything it’d bottled up onto us as if I needed another thing to be sad about. It was always too cold, too. Even in our old hotel, it was like the feeling always stayed in my bones. On top of that, it was always dusty as if the room hadn’t been touched in a decade even though we’d been staying here for too long, in my opinion at least. I felt bad complaining, hell I could be back in a prison under the ocean, but as I sat staring out the window I wondered just how long all of this would last. Or how much longer I could take it for.
Wanda came into my room, bundled up in her coat as if she was planning on going back out into this weather. Vision trailed behind her, leaning against the doorframe protectively as she approached me. That was another thing that bothered me- the two of them. Initially, I didn’t mind too much. Sure, it was awkward being the third wheel, but as the days turned into months I grew jealous. They got to hold each other, kiss each other, see each other as often as they wanted, a luxury Steve and I didn’t have. Seeing Wanda and Vision together made me miss him so much more.
“We’re going out, we were wondering if you wanted to come?” Wanda asked kindly. She was always so sweet and gentle with me, though it was just another reminder. Wanda acted like she was walking on eggshells around me, even though she made an effort to hide it because she knew exactly how I was feeling.
I tried to protest, saying they should have a night out alone together when really all I wanted was to be by myself. Tonight, more than usual, I was missing him. Wanda knew that, so naturally, she grabbed my hand and pulled me up and out the door.
I was putting on my coat when Vision’s eyes scrunched as he held his hand over his forehead and hissed in pain. Wanda rushed to him worried, asking what was wrong. Her hand raised to where his stone was, a red glow emitting from her palm. Lately, this thing had been happening. Vision claimed the stone was trying to speak to him, but he couldn’t understand it. I claimed we were just cooped up for too long.
I watched as she caressed his face, inches away from his lips, looking at each other with so much intensity and passion. I cleared my throat in an attempt to choke back the tears brimming my eyes, watching what I ached for so badly myself. They looked back at me and took a few steps away from each other. The three of us played some sort of weird cowboy shootout with uncomfortable glances instead of guns. “Let’s get going then,” Wanda suggested. She surely didn’t have to twist our arms for compliance. Vision and I followed her out the door.
After dinner, we were walking down one of the cobblestone streets, still wet from the rain. It was kind of unsettling in the dark, but we didn’t pay much mind. Looking at Wanda with a certain softness I was starting to forget the look of in Steve’s eyes, Vision said, “Do you ever just want to stay here?” Wanda and I stopped in our tracks, each looking at him with confusion.
“That’s not the plan,” I reminded him. Vision stuttered as he tried to defend his serious suggestion as an off-handed remark. “Well, you know,” he started, looking to Wanda for help. She shook her head. “You gave Stark your word,” she said, unable to meet his eyes. I knew she was hoping he would stay anyway.
Vision took a step toward her, holding her face in his hands so delicately. “Wanda…” Vision’s voice was soft, full of so much love. I watched as she stared back at him with eyes as big as the moon. “Well, I uh- I’ll just speak for myself I guess. I, well personally I think we uh-”
“We work,” she finished with a light laugh I hadn’t heard in a while. Vision smiled, overcome with relief. There’s nothing better than that feeling of leaping and having the other catch you. “We do,” he agreed before continuing to plead with her to stay with him.
It was as if they forgot I was even there, and I was caught feeling like I was looking at something I shouldn’t be. Such a tender moment was meant to be private. I tried to avert my eyes, sticking my hands in my pockets and looking at anything other than the two of them. My eyes landed on the convenience store behind them, training on the television in the window.
“Guys…” I said quietly at first, not believing my eyes. It was tuned to the news, showing a scene with streets I recognized so well it could only be New York. The story was just breaking, but still, they showed the city in flames, two creatures I couldn’t recognize standing among the wreckage. “Guys!” I shouted now, grabbing their attention and pointing to the screen. A massive craft dwarfed the skyscrapers it had landed in the middle of, causing destruction all around it and bringing God knows what.
The three of us gaped at the screen in shock. “What is that?” Wanda whispered, almost to herself as if she was trying to cope. “What the stone has been warning me about,” Vision remarked with a resigned voice, already preparing for the worst. The shot changed to a woman sitting at a news desk, Tony’s picture appearing next to her. We didn’t need to hear what she was saying to know what was going on. Stark’s worst nightmare was coming true.
My mind immediately went to Steve. That reckless idiot with no concept of a will to live or a mild understanding of self-preservation probably jumped right into the fight without thinking, facing an enemy we couldn’t even conceive the strength or abilities of. Even compared to the super soldier, the being on the screen was enormous. No, I told myself. He’d made it this far. He had to be alright. Steve had to be okay, I couldn’t allow myself to think otherwise.
“I have to go,” Vision said, kissing Wanda’s hand before stepping away from her. As nice as it was to daydream of a world without all of this, we all knew we had a responsibility we couldn’t ignore. I watched as she reached out to him, frozen in her spot. “No Vision, maybe we shouldn’t go. If this is true, maybe we shouldn’t-” Wanda pleaded, trying to remain in the wistfulness of a reality we just weren’t meant to have.
“I-” Vision started, before a sharp object ripped through his middle. Wanda screamed, but it sounded so far away. It was completely unexpected, in our state of shock it seemed so unreal. We watched helplessly as his human appearance melted away, his body being lifted into the air and tossed aside like a ragdoll. The thing responsible snarled at the two of us with an ugly, purple face. Wanda reacted before I could, summoning a red ball of energy. She aimed at the being responsible for hurting Vision when something else jumped behind her.
“Wanda!” I yelled, too late. I tried to warn her, but before she could fire she was blasted through the storefront window. I ran at the thing, pulling the guns I always had on me, knowing they’d probably be only so effective against this thing’s space armor. Before I knew it, the guy that attacked Vision used his scepter to strike my side.
When I caught my breath and stood again, the two loomed over Vision who laid helplessly on the street. The bigger one picked at his forehead with the sharp end of his weapon, trying to dig the stone from its place as Vision screamed. Enraged more than I had ever seen her before, Wanda summoned another ball of light. I took aim, in case they noticed. She fired at them, stunning them if only for moments so she could fly herself and Vision out of sight. I shot at the two a couple times in the hopes of incapacitating them, if only a little more.
I took off running towards the alley I saw Wanda land in, helping her carry a stumbling Vision once I met up with them. “What the fuck are they?” I asked in disbelief as we dropped Vision to the ground. “I-I don’t know,” he said breathlessly. “But the blade, it stopped me from phasing.” Wanda leaned over him, trying to fix the gash in his stomach that throbbed with golden light asking, “Is that even possible?” Vision shook his head, muttering something about how it shouldn’t be.
As she tried to repair Vision, I stood over Wanda’s back, acting as a lookout and our first line of defense if those fuckers found us. As quickly as I could aim, the bigger one came barreling down the alley. I managed to take a few shots that just deflected off of its armor. The alien just lunged over me and scooped Vision up effortlessly. They were gone in the time it took us to blink.
He crushed Vision up against a few buildings, dust and pieces of brick crumbling around them. Wanda screamed, so distraught after watching her love be beaten by a force we could barely reckon with. It occurred to me that there was one missing.
As the alien’s weapon collided with the column she had been hiding behind, I pulled Wanda away. The two of them struggled against each other, seeming to forget I was there. I felt so fucking useless, but this wasn’t the time to dwell on it. Wanda was thrown across the cobblestone, using her powers to break her fall. I realized why she was only going after Wanda- to use her against Vision. I wasn’t the target, they weren’t anticipating me.
I shot at the one who was trying to attack Wanda after losing sight of Vision and the other alien, hoping to be significant enough of an annoyance to draw its attention away from my friend. The alien turned to me, shooting a beam of blue light my way. I narrowly missed the attack by whipping behind a column, though the smell of my singed hair didn’t go unnoticed.
Before I was attacked again, Wanda returned fire. I ran toward her before the alien could retaliate so it could at least be two against one. As our opponent ran at us, Vision screamed from a nearby rooftop. Without hesitation, Wanda picked the alien up with her powers and threw her into a car and airlifted her and me to where the sound came from.
The cloaked figure leaned over Vision, clawing the stone from him with the tip of its spear again. Wanda and I shot at the alien simultaneously. Whether or not we were doing any damage was one thing- we could only hope to draw his attention away from his objective. With the enemy blasted off the side of the building, Wanda grabbed Vision and I. In an attempt to make an escape, she flew the three of us above the city, only to be hit by a blue beam of electricity.
We went sliding as soon as our bodies hit the pavement of the train station, but once we stopped Wanda and I both ran to where Vision lay, groaning in agony. I’d never seen him hurt like this, he always appeared to be invincible. We tried to lift Vision, but he couldn’t stand. “We have to go,” Wanda pleaded, but it was no use and Vision knew it. “Please,” he begged. “You two have to get out of here.” We froze for a moment considering we were clearly unable to leave, but it wasn’t safe to stall. “You asked me to stay,” Wanda reasoned, caressing Vision’s cheek. Even in the middle of this chaos, I silently prayed to whoever may be listening that Steve was alright. “I’m staying.”
Suddenly, the aliens burst through the glass ceiling of the train station. As we huddled together on the floor, they approached us with their weapons pointed in our direction. Wanda and I stood in front of Vision. She summoned her energy as I cocked my guns. I heard a train passing through and, if I wasn’t in this current circumstance, I would’ve thought how hilarious it would’ve been to see this scene from their perspective. It was completely random- two women trying to defend a computer-man from aliens twice the size of us with weapons we didn’t even understand. Instead, I was thinking about how I was about to go out in a blaze of bullets.
Then, the train’s horn blared throughout the station. For a brief moment, our attention was taken from our own tense moment. Then I saw him. Between the train cars, a shadowy figure stood watching us. I knew exactly who it was, almost instinctively. Even as I felt like I was about to die, just his presence seemed to offer some relief.
One of the aliens threw her electric spear at him, but he caught it without a problem. Steve walked into the light with a war-hardened look on his face. His hair was longer and his beard had grown more scraggly since the last time I’d seen him, but he was still my Steve nonetheless. If I didn’t have people trying to kill us about three feet away from me, I don’t know if I could’ve stopped myself from bursting into tears. Actually, maybe the fact that I was about to be killed was good enough.
Before we could process any of it, Sam flew in, knocking the blue thing right off her feet and smashing her through a restaurant window. Then, Steve threw the electric spear at Nat, who slid in from nowhere. She began dueling with the scepter-wielding alien and I was never more grateful to see any of them in my life. I was used to being the hero, but in that, I forgot how much of a relief being saved can be. Steve joined her, snatching the scepter and defending Nat from the other alien.
Watching them fight made my heart clench in my chest. As I watched the alien swing at Steve, I think I stopped breathing. Usually, when you’re in the thick of it, Steve and I didn’t have time to worry about each other. Every split second was spent playing defense or offense depending on the circumstance, we couldn’t stop to think of each other or else that would be it. We protected each other, but we never worried about the other since it was too much of a distraction. Now, sitting defenseless on the sidelines as he battled it out with an alien I knew to be so powerful, it became apparent just how close Steve was to being taken from me.
I wanted to make a run for it and jump in the fray out of a sheer need to protect him, but I knew I couldn’t. I knew if I tried to help, it would only distract Steve. He’d prioritize protecting me above all else, even if it meant getting himself hurt in the process and I couldn’t stand that. Plus, I had to defend Wanda and Vision. She huddled over him, her chest heaving as she tried to breathe through sobs and her hands glowing red. Vision didn’t look good, Wana needed to focus on fixing him up rather than watching over her shoulder so I stood guard between them and the fight.
He fought her until Sam swooped in, kicking her toward the body of the other alien. The three of our friends crowded around them, weapons at the ready. “We don’t want to hurt you, but we will,” Natasha threatened in a level voice. The alien with blue hair seemed to snarl at her as it said, “You’ll never get the chance again.” Suddenly, almost as if it was taken straight from an alien abduction movie, a blue light shot down from the sky. It encased the two aliens before sucking that up, taking the scepter right from Steve’s hands with them.
Once they were gone, the three of our friends walked toward us with a purpose. Wanda and I still stood protectively over Vision, our adrenaline still coursing through our veins, making us ready to fight in a moment’s notice. I couldn’t believe we’d come that close. As much as my heart wanted me to run toward Steve, professing some sort of undying love and enveloping him in my arms like in some cheesy story, I couldn’t believe the fight was over. I couldn’t put my defenses down yet in case they came back.
As soon as he reached me though, Steve pulled me into a hug. He crushed me against his strong chest like he was trying to make me more of a part of him than I already was. It was as if Steve tore down every wall I had up by each brick instantaneously. I melted into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing him as tight as I could just to prove he was real. I don’t know if it was the relief of still being able to breathe or the overwhelming sense of security he offered, but I cried into his chest so hard it would have been embarrassing if it didn’t feel like it was only Steve and me in the entire world. He kissed the top of my head over and over, whispering that it was finally okay. I was safe. We were together. That was all I needed.
I pulled away from his chest and held my face between my hands. I kissed him as hard as I could, causing Steve to stumble back a little. He rested his hands on the small of my back as he wrapped his arms around my waist, deepening our kiss. It was scratchier than I remembered because of the beard and both of our lips were embarrassingly chapped, but it still Steve. I missed how he tasted and how he smelled and so much more about him. I pulled away for air, staying only inches from Steve just to try to be as close to him as possible. Steve smiled at me with so much soft love in his eyes and I’m sure I was beaming back at him. Kissing Steve was always like watching fireworks on the 4th of July- so familiar and electrifying at the same exact time.
Sam clasped a hand on each of our backs, pulling us from our own world. He nodded at Steve with a tight-lipped smile like an apology. “We should get going,” Sam said. Steve wrapped an arm around me, not willing to let me go anytime soon, but agreed nonetheless.
Vision had a golden glow pulsing throughout his body, but he was able to stand with some assistance from Natasha and Wanda. “Thank you, Captain,” he said through uncomfortable grunts. Steve looked at him with an emotion I couldn’t place in his eyes. “Let’s get you on the jet,” he finally said with the hint of a smile.
When we took off, I just hoped that we could get as far away from Scotland as humanly possible. Maybe Australia would do? Steve and I sat on the opposite side of Wanda and Vision, watching as she continued to try to fix the wounds he’d sustained in the fight. Steve wrapped one arm around my chest, holding my hand with his. It was nice to just be together in the closest thing to peace I knew we would have for a while, even if it was only for the duration of the jet ride.
“I thought we had a deal,” Nat said in a stern voice, watching Scotland fade into the distance as the jet closed. She was referencing her arrangement with Wanda and Vision- in exchange for them being able to see each other, they promised to keep in touch and stay out of trouble. You could see how those expectations hadn’t necessarily been met. Wanda apologized, that was all she could really do. Steve sat silently, which wasn’t like him. I couldn’t blame him for being contemplative.
I adjusted myself against Steve so I was almost laying on top of him. I snuggled as far into him as I could, laying my head on his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. It was steady and reassuring and Steve- everything I needed right now. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head over and over. We both knew we wouldn’t get many more moments like this, at least not any time soon, so we were cherishing them. Some of our sweetest moments have been shared jetting between a rock and a hard place.
“Where to, Cap?” Sam asked from the pilot’s seat. Steve shifted in his seat slightly. I watched him intently, just trying to take him in after not seeing him for so long. His hair had grown long enough for him to tuck behind his ears, I imagined I’d like twirling it between my fingers. His beard was longer and darker than I remembered. I think it made his eyes look bluer, which I didn’t even know was possible. He stared off into the distance before he looked back at me, smiling when he saw that I was already staring at him.
“Home.”
Tagged:
@patzammit
#captain america#captain america fic#captain america one shot#captain america fanfiction#Steve Rogers#steve rogers fic#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers one shot#captain america x reader#Chris Evans#chris evans fanfic#imagine chris evans#chris evans oneshot#chris evans x reader#let's hope this narrator was saved in the snap bc that'd really be tragic
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Independent {f} Chapter 13
Summary: Your mom calls you stubborn, your friends call you wild, and the boys you’ve left in your wake call you a frigid bitch. You’ve built a life of independence and you like it that way. Kim Taehyung, however; seems to be able to change your mind.
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: fluff, mild angst
Word Count: 19925
Notes/Warnings: This chapter has some angst, a few instances of self deprecation and the OC just being kind of mean to herself, but there is a light and growth at the end of that tunnel!
Oh my goooosh. Tumblr has made the process of getting the draft on here so dang challenging. Please forgive me if there’s any choppiness or the layout is weird, I’ll be tightening it up over the next few days.
**There is a read more linked but it doesn’t seem to be working and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m sorry! TT
****
December brought with it, dark skies, chapped lips, and an accelerated time line. The semester was quickly coming to a close and you wanted to run head long into the winter break and get this misery over with. It had been almost a full week since you’d seen Taehyung and each day had brought a new wave of misery.
For the first three days you’d woken to eyes crusted closed and a sore throat. Courtesy of all-night cry sessions. It didn’t help that Taehyung had decided to stop attending your Art History class and begin taking only office hours to help your classmates. There was a part of you that was happy you didn’t have to see him right now, since you were too busy licking your wounds; a bigger part of you that wished you could take back everything you said so you could see him again, and the biggest part of all that was more devastated with yourself.
Why couldn’t you just be normal? Everyone else could date someone without freaking out, but you, no you were a mess. All you ever did was alienate people. You were probably better off on your own. You couldn’t hurt anyone if they couldn’t get close to you. You had too much baggage, anyway, who would want to saddle themselves up with that?
The library was quiet; every seat taken by a student in the throes of final exams panic. There were only 17 days left until the end of the semester and then you could throw yourself headlong into a project that didn’t remind you of your current misery. You were thankful, at least, that you were nearly done. As soon as you finished this paper your project for Art History would be done and then you only had three written finals to take.
Anna sat across from you; hands fisted in her hair as she starred down at her book in despair. If you weren’t so out of it, you might have laughed. She looked the picture of stress; eyes bugged, brow pinched, a silent scream in the arch of her lips as she softly read back the words of the textbook that she couldn’t seem to commit to memory.
The library door opening caught your attention and you glanced over to find Jimin entering slowly, vision trained on the tangled earbuds in his hands. You don’t know why or what possessed you, but suddenly you were jumping to your feet, making your way through the tables and over to the door.
“Jimin.” You called softly. He glanced up at you, dark eyes lighting in recognition before he stopped, frowning. “Hi.” You said, stopping just in front of him and the corner of his lips lifted in a careful smile.
“Hi.” He said, glancing around the room. This was not the place to talk, too many people trying to work.
“Can we talk for a second?” You asked, motioning out the door to the empty hallway. He paused before nodding, pushing the door open behind him and allowing you to exit first.
As soon as the door closed you watched him, fiddling carefully with the strings of his earbuds, and twisted your fingers together apprehensively. “How have you been?” You asked carefully.
He shrugged, glancing up at you. “I’ve been ok. What about you?”
You glanced out the window into the dreary, cloud scattered sky. “Yeah, I, uh, I’ve been ok. Finals, you know?”
He nodded, studying you with pursed lips. “What’s up, Y/N? What do you really need?”
You frowned, staring down at your shoes, scuffed and still a little soggy from the snow. “I guess I was just wondering how Taehyung is.” You whispered.
Jimin sighed and your frowned deepened. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Y/N. He’s pretty crushed. He hasn’t really been himself recently.”
Your heart ached at the thought. Gorgeous, smiley, carefree Taehyung was hurting and it was all your fault. “I’m so sorry.” You whispered, tears beginning to burn your vision.
“I can appreciate the sentiment, Y/N, but I’m not the one you should be talking to. I can’t receive apologies in his honor.” He replied and you were at least grateful that his tone was gentle. He was trying hard to be kind but honest and that wasn’t easy to do.
“I wish I could talk to him.” You admitted, looking up at Jimin through wet eyelashes. He shook his head gently.
“I wouldn’t. It’s not the time right now. You really hurt him, Y/N. He’s an all or nothing kind of guy and when you rejected him, he took it really hard.”
“I didn’t mean to reject him.” You whispered, a tear escaping down your cheek and you brushed at it angrily. “I’m just scared.”
Jimin sighed, reaching out and patting your shoulder, “well, maybe talk to him when you’ve got things figured out. He’s not a test drive, though. You can’t just use him as practice and hope for the best, you know?”
You nodded, biting on your bottom lip to stifle a sob. “Will you please take care of him for me?” You whispered, looking up at him. “Help him be happy again.”
Jimin smiled, nodding. “Of course; he’s my best friend.” He glanced down at his watch, frowning, “I’m sorry, Y/N, but I’ve gotta meet with my study group, I’m already running a little late.”
“Of course.” You said, stepping off to the side. “Thank you, Jimin.”
After checking your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you returned to the table, waving away Anna’s questioning look and staring back at your laptop. You had one more page to write and then you could allow yourself to return to your bedroom and cry in peace. You wouldn’t do it here.
If your dad were here…well, he wouldn’t have any answers, he was bad at this sort of thing, but the thought of how he’d flounder trying to make you feel better made you smile. You missed him every day, but especially when you were sad because it reminded you that you were going through phases of life that he was missing.
If he were here, things would be different. Maybe you wouldn’t even be at this school. You’d chosen it mostly because it wasn’t too far from home if you needed to go back for any reason. You’d always been adventurous and independent, though, so you may have gone somewhere much further away…if life had turned out differently.
There was no use in dwelling on the what if’s, though. Life was what it was and you couldn’t change it; only your attitude towards it. Besides, right now you had finals to get through. Then…then you could focus on something new to distract you.
Paris couldn’t come fast enough.
****
The morning felt better already. The last 2 weeks had been horrible; for lack of a better word. When you weren’t pulling your hair out in the library you were stressing out about whether you’d see Taehyung in the hallways. You’d just finished your last final of the semester and felt…free. Now you only had to finish packing your suitcase and you could head home for a few days before flying out to Paris.
The house was empty when you got there, dropping your bag by the doorway and sighing. Someone had turned on the electric fire and you shuffled your way to sit in front of it, outstretching your hands to warm them.
You’d forgotten your gloves, which was dumb because it was the middle of December and stupidly cold. Glancing around the room, you sighed. You’d miss this house during the winter vacation. Even though you were coming back to the same house and same people for spring vacation, it was going to be different, you’d make new memories, meet new people, but there would be no Taehyung and you hated how dependent you felt on him now. This was why you didn’t fall for people; why you didn’t open your heart to someone. It hurt too much.
You looked out the window, heart stuttering when you noticed Taehyung walking sluggishly by. He was bundled warm and you could barely see his face under his hat and scarf, but you’d know him anywhere. He paused by the mailbox, sighing, a sad frown stretching across his full lips as he reached out his mittened fingers, patting the duck softly on the head.
It felt like your heart was bleeding in your chest. You wanted to run to him and throw your arms around him, tell him you were sorry and you didn’t know why you were this way…but even the thought of it made your stomach churn with discomfort. What could you even offer to him anyway? Love? Stability? No, it was better this way. No man wanted to be with a broken woman.
Taehyung walked slowly away from the mailbox, fingertips dropping from the beak of the duck and down by his side and you sat frozen where you were, watching him leave. It all felt so final. You couldn’t wait to get out of the country and just escape your own mind.
****
Later after dinner, when your bags were packed and you were sat in the front room, your roommates came to join you, a tray of hot chocolates in Anna’s hands. Setting it down on the table, she sat down beside you on the couch, grabbing a mug for each of you before settling further into the cushions.
“Can’t believe we’re all heading home tomorrow.” Sarah said, sighing into her mug. “This semester went by so fast.”
“Too fast!” Anna agreed. “I can’t believe you’re going to Paris in just a few days!”
You smiled softly, “It’s pretty crazy right?”
“I’m crazy jealous.” Charlotte admitted, “Paris has always been top of the travel bucket list for me.”
“Really?” Anna asked in surprise, “I never knew that about you.”
“Yeah, it’s home to the Eiffel tower, the Louvre, Notre Dame, the Arc de Triumphe. What’s not to love? Plus, it’s the fashion capitol of the world.”
“You have to buy so many clothes!” Sarah gushed, “I seriously can’t believe you get to go shopping in Paris!”
You smiled, chuckling, “I honestly probably won’t have a whole lot of time to go shopping between the internship and touristy stuff, but I’ll try to have one good shopping trip in your honor.”
“If you don’t come back in a beret and a peplum pea coat, I’ll be seriously appalled.”
“Pretty sure the French don’t actually go about their day in a beret.” Charlotte remarked dryly.
You giggled, smiling at your friends. “I’m gonna miss you guys.”
“You say that like you’re going to war. You’re going to Paris, honey, you won’t even notice we’re not there.” Anna grinned, flicking your forehead with her finger and you wrinkled your nose at her.
“I’ll definitely notice.”
“Well, anyway,” Sarah commented, pushing her hair over her shoulder, “You’re going to go, you’re going to have a fabulous time, and you’re going to come back a changed woman. I’m super jealous.”
****
After returning home and spending a few days with your family, they were bringing you to the airport for what was probably the biggest adventure of your life. You’d never been on such a big trip alone; in fact, you’d never even been on an airplane by yourself. The nerves were clawing at your chest at the thought, but there was a soft simmering of excitement bubbling just under that surface.
The airport was cramped and busy, people heading home for the holidays and you felt a little sad that you’d be missing the celebrations with your family, but the experience was going to be worth it; you were sure of it.
The evening was blanketed with a soft mist when you arrived. It was cold, but nothing a coat and scarf couldn’t combat. The woman in charge of your internship had met you at arrivals and you’d grabbed your bags, making your way out front.
“Our car is over here.” Marie smiled, holding her arm out and you followed after her, the driver taking your things and putting them in the trunk. After sliding into your seat and buckling in, you sighed, leaning your head back against the headrest. “The drive to your hotel is around an hour so that will give us time to talk and go over some details.”
“Great.” You smiled, sitting up straight and facing towards her. “What is your job with the Paris Fashion Week?”
“I’m the head of Une voix de femme, a fashion and photography company. There are a lot of interns that come all year round for various purposes in the different shows and fashion industry and we get a lot of applicants so we’re a bit picky.”
The idea that the boss herself had come to retrieve you was a little mind blowing and you felt extra nervous at the idea of it. Maybe she picked up every intern, but even so, you couldn’t help but feel special. “May I ask how exactly my work was brought to your attention?”
“Pure coincidence.” Marie said, flipping open a file. Inside were some of the stills you’d taken over the years, mostly from school activities that you’re sure your professor had sent to her and others from the Winter Recital. “We do a lot of searching on our own. Not everyone who is talented will apply, some need to be sought out. I saw the pictures you’d taken of your school recital and I knew right away you needed to be with us. You have too much talent that shouldn’t be wasted.”
“Thank you,” you smiled softly, face feeling warm. “I never would have applied; I would have never thought I’d be good enough for something like this.”
“Common symptom.” Marie nodded, thumbing through some of your pictures, “the worthy never actually know their true worth.” She looked over at you, winking before returning to the file in hand.
“So, what exactly will my responsibilities be while I’m here?”
“We’ll go over most of the details tomorrow when you come to the office. You’ll need to be flexible and move quickly because we’ll have you in a few different locations. I don’t have your exact schedule with me currently, but I know you will be photographing the Dior, Saint Laurent, Mugler, and Hermes lines. We’ll also have you working with some couture design shoots.”
“Wow, those are some big names.” You mused, stomach twisting at the idea.
“Don’t feel nervous, dear, we wouldn’t have flown you out if we didn’t like what you have to offer. You have an ability to capture small details; that is what we are looking for. The models move quickly and they stop for no one; you’ll need to catch the details of their clothing with precision. Because you’re an intern, we know you don’t have access to all the equipment that other photographers will have with them so of course you will have all of our equipment at your disposal.”
“Thank you, that’s very kind of you!” You said softly. Honestly, at this point you were feeling honored, of course, and also completely overwhelmed.
“Don’t worry about too many details tonight, though. Tomorrow I’ll have my assistant Danielle meet you in the lobby of your hotel and she’ll accompany you for the remainder of your internship with us. Any questions you have, Danielle will be able to answer them.”
“Thank you very much, I’m so appreciative of this opportunity. I intend to make sure you’re happy with your decision to recruit me.”
“I have no doubt you will.” She smiled over at you.
Once you’d reached your hotel, the jet lag was beginning to hit strong. You’d begun falling asleep the last 5 minutes of the ride and were so grateful to be up and standing. With the door closed behind you and your suitcase deposited at the end of your bed, you made your way to the large French doors, pushing open the curtains and stepping out onto the balcony.
“Wow.” You breathed, hands reaching out for the metal railing, cold from the bite of winter. You could not have asked for a better view than the one you were given. The Eiffel Tower, just off to the right of your window, lights bright in the dark of the evening. The streets below were still filled with people, a busy Christmas market just a moment’s walk from the entrance of your hotel. You felt completely spoiled.
Of course, you wished you could have shared the experience with someone, but instead you’d focus every moment of your time enjoying this great new experience.
****
The next morning you were awoken by your alarm at 7:00 am. Your eyes were bleary and stung as you opened them, body warm beneath the fluffy white down comforter. You were expected down and waiting for the car at 8 am sharp and you still had to shower, get ready, and eat.
You moved sluggishly from the warmth of the bed, grabbing your shower supplies and trudging into the bathroom. After showering and getting ready, you made your way downstairs to have some breakfast. Ecstatic to find an assortment of French breads, jams, and a buffet of food you already felt yourself drooling over, you grabbed a plate, making your way through the line and allowing the greed of your eyes and growling stomach to take charge.
After stuffing your face with more food than was probably considered proper, you made your way out to the front of the hotel, checking your bag again to make sure you had everything you needed.
“Y/N!” Someone called and you turned to look around you, a young woman with short, dark corkscrew curls and beautiful dark brown eyes smiled, waving over at you and you smiled back, making your way towards her. “Hi there, I’m Danielle.” She greeted, reaching her hand out towards you for a handshake.
“It’s so nice to meet you.” You returned, shaking her hand and following the motion of her hand into the back of the car. “I’m so surprised, I really thought I was going to end up being with someone who was much older than me. It’s nice to see someone similar in age.”
“It’s nice to have someone to relate to,” Danielle grinned, leaning back in her seat as the car started driving, “plus, after we get the details sorted this morning, we get to go out exploring. Work officially starts tomorrow.”
“Are you serious?” You grinned and she winked.
“Course, girl. I hope you brought your money with you because we’re going on a shopping spree.”
“I’m gonna go broke by the end of this internship, for sure.”
“No way, this internship pays and it pays well. Anything you want to buy while you’re here?” She chuckled and you chewed on your bottom lip in thought.
“Well, my friends definitely told me if I don’t come back with a beret and a peplum pea coat that they’d skin me alive, so…”
“Put it on the list!” She laughed loudly, “No skinning alive. So, tell me about yourself, Y/N.”
“Well, I guess it depends on what you want to know. I’m currently in school studying Visual Arts with a minor in photography and I live in a small, run down, but cozy home with 3 of my best friends. When I’m not at school I’m at home with my mom, brother, step dad and our dog Goose.”
“And now you’ll get to say you interned with Paris Fashion Week.” Danielle teased and you grinned.
“I know, I can hardly even believe I’m in France. What about you? Tell me about yourself, Danielle.”
“Well, I’m originally from Pennsylvania, but my dad is actually from France. When I was getting ready to go into high school my dad got a job back here in Paris so we all moved here and have been living here ever since. I have two sisters, one older, one younger, and I’ve been working with Marie for the last three years.”
“Wow, so did you start working with Marie right after graduation or something?” You asked, eyes wide.
Danielle chuckled. “Something like that, yeah. I actually did my internship with Marie as well and then just ended up getting hired on and have been with them ever since. It’s been a pretty crazy amazing ride.”
“I believe it!” You breathed, “That’s really wild. I’m not sure what to do when I graduate, but I still have a couple years to figure it out.”
“Do you have any ideas or anything you want to do?” Danielle asked, twisting a curl around her finger and letting it spring back into place.
“Not a lot,” you admitted bashfully, “I’ve kind of thought about maybe starting my own company or something, but to be honest I really just like being able to take pictures of whatever I want and not being commissioned to do something, you know?”
“Oh yeah, I totally get it.” Danielle nodded, “a true artist’s spirit. You want your cake and to eat it too.” She grinned over at you and you shrugged, smiling.
“Guilty.”
“Something I’ll recommend is to get your feet wet first. Sometimes you’ve gotta do other people’s dirty work first before you can really get into your own stuff. Build enough of a name that being able to photograph your own stuff will one day work in your favor.”
“Yeah, I get that.” You nodded, watching as the car came to a slow stop out front of a large glass building that looked rather out of place among the ancient and beautiful cream-colored limestone of the other buildings.
“We’re here!” Danielle chirped, sliding from the car as the door was opened for her and you followed closely after, pulling your bag high on your shoulder and glancing around. The streets were busy with business people and tourists alike and you followed after Danielle as she led you into the building.
“We’re up on the 32nd floor,” Danielle said as the two of you stepped into the glass elevator and you gripped the railing, staring out into the streets in awe.
“Wow, you guys really know how to live, huh?” You murmured, watching the city sink below you.
Danielle laughed, leaning against the railing with you. “Pretty nice, right?”
You nodded mutely. “I just feel so lucky.” You finally admitted, “there are so many people who would want this opportunity and I got it without even trying.”
“Don’t feel guilty about it.” Danielle scolded and you turned to smile at her. “you deserve this internship. Marie loves finding people who are unassuming about their talent because they’re always the best. Just because you didn’t apply doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.”
“Thank you, Danielle,” you grinned, “you’re giving me a pretty decent boost in self-esteem.”
“It’s my job.” She winked, nudging you with her elbow. The chime of the elevator reaching your floor brought your attention back to the door and you stood, facing forward. “Besides, I wouldn’t say any of it if it weren’t true. You’ve definitely earned it.”
The office was busy with movement, desks occupying the first half of the room and filled with people having conversation. The back was divided by rooms separated with glass. Two rooms currently occupied with photoshoots, a couple offices, and a conference room. It was noisy, but in a good way.
“This is where we get the technical parts of our jobs done. Paperwork, photoshop, that sort of thing. Certain magazine shoots are done in the back, as you can see. This is the behind the scenes dirty work that has to be done. The real fun stuff will be when fashion week starts tomorrow. Ok, follow me, your desk is over here.”
You followed after her to the right-hand side and she patted a desk with only a laptop to boast about. “This is your desk, right next to mine. It’s pretty bare right now, but the good thing is you can decorate it in any way you see fit.”
“This is so cool.” You grinned, “I get my own desk!”
Danielle chuckled, sitting down at her desk. “Ah, I remember that feeling, like a real grown up, right?”
“Yeah,” you admitted, sitting in your seat. “Feels like I’m suddenly an adult with all sorts of responsibilities. It’s so cool.”
Danielle grinned, shaking her head. “Well, Marie’s gonna want to have a meeting with us in a few minutes but she told me she had a conference call first so let’s chill and talk before then.”
You nodded, leaning eagerly forward. “That sounds great.”
“So, you’re still in university, right?” At your nod, she continued, “any boys?” She teased with a wiggle of her brows.
You sigh, shrugging, “Mmm…no, not right now, I guess.”
“That sounded very mysterious.” She replied, eyebrow raised and you moved your elbow from the arm rest of your chair as someone bustled by shouting something in French.
“Just…” you huffed, blowing air up across your cheeks, “there was a guy a few weeks ago, but I blew it.”
“Oh?” You asked, waiting patiently for you to continue.
You shrugged again, “he wanted a bigger commitment than I was ready to give him so I kind of pushed him away and we both ended up getting hurt. It sucks pretty bad.” Danielle watched as you tried not to sulk too hard and sighed.
“It can be really hard when something doesn’t work out the way we’d hoped it would.” She said, staring over at the elevator as a group made their way out and over to the studio. “I was in a situation back in college that was…well, it was pretty challenging. Life changing; in a good and bad way. I had to make a decision that I’ve often wondered was right, but I think what I’ve decided since then is that if things are meant to be, then they will be. Of course, that’s not to discount effort,” she said, eyeing your reaction, “but if you’ve put in the effort, done all you can to make it work, and it doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to.”
“Before I left for the semester I ran into this guy’s roommate,” you said, “and he told me I should probably give him time to recover so I wanted to do that, but I worry that I’ve just completely ruined my chances with him. I haven’t done everything I could to try and make it better because I didn’t want to push him, but I think I want to try again when I get back in the spring semester.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Danielle said, twisting back and forth in her chair, “give the both of you the time to cool off and think about what you really want.”
“You said you made a really hard decision in college,” you said, watching her expression carefully, “what made you feel like that decision was the right one?”
Danielle paused, fingers drumming against the armrests of her chair, lips pressed together in thought. “Because I knew was doing the right thing for someone else. In the end, the decision I made wasn’t about me, but about her. I had to do it for her.”
“Your friend?” You asked and Danielle smiled softly.
“No. My daughter.”
“Oh,” you said, sitting straighter in surprise, “I didn’t know you had a daughter.”
“I don’t. Not anymore, anyway. At the time that I had her, the father and I were no longer together. He was from Belgium and had moved home; he didn’t really have any interest in being a parent. I was only 20 and I knew I couldn’t give her the life that she deserved, so I gave her to a family that could provide the life I couldn’t.”
Never had you met someone who’d made a decision like that before. You couldn’t even imagine having a child only to give them away. It would take a lot of love and self-sacrifice to do that sort of thing; you weren’t even sure you were that strong of a person.
“Wow,” you said, blinking down at your hands, now clasped in your lap. “How long ago was that?”
“She’ll be turning 6 this summer.” Danielle smiled. “I receive pictures of her sometimes, here, this was from just a few days ago, actually. They’ve gone on holiday in the Maldives for Christmas.” She handed you a handful of pictures from her desk drawer and you looked down at the family, a little boy and girl with their parents.
“She has your eyes and hair.” You smiled and Danielle chuckled.
“And her dad’s ears. Poor thing.” You looked up at Danielle as she pushed her ears slightly out and giggled.
“She’s beautiful. What’s her name?”
“Her parents named her Emile.” Danielle smiled and you handed the picture back to her.
“Did you ever have a name for her?” You asked gently and she nodded, staring down at the pictures.
“In my heart, she has always been Felicity.”
“That’s a beautiful name.” You said, watching as Danielle slipped the pictures back into her desk.
“Thank you.” She said. The phone on Danielle’s desk rang and she picked it up quickly, talking softly to someone in French before hanging up. “Marie is ready for us. Let’s meet her in the conference room.”
You followed after her, weaving your way through rows of desks to the back and into the conference room where Marie sat with stacks of books and papers that you presumed were for you.
“Good morning, Y/N.” She greeted you, standing to extend a handshake which you returned.
“Good morning.” You smiled.
“Today I will show you around the office, give you the details of what this week will be like and what we expect of you. I’ll show you the equipment that you can use and take with you. Of course, Danielle will be with you the entire length of your internship so if you do have questions, you can ask her too.”
She pulled paperwork from the folders in front of her, explaining in detail what they were about and giving them to you to read and sign. After the preliminary work, she went over your schedule with you in more detail, giving you a step by step program of what you’d be doing each day.
After about an hour in the conference room going over paperwork and details, she took you into a storage room, showing you types of equipment you could use for the week. You felt like you’d died and gone to heaven. Anything you could have ever dreamed of needing or even wanting for your photography was placed carefully around the room and against walls, beckoning you to take a look.
“You will have access to any and all of our equipment; whatever you feel will make the shots better.” Marie said, watching you stare wide eyed around the room. “Feel free to look around.”
You moved towards the left side of the wall, examining one of the cameras they had there, picking it up and flipping through the settings. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.” You mumbled and Marie and Danielle laughed from behind you.
“We’re happy to appease you.” Marie smiled. “Danielle, once she’s chosen the equipment she’s going to be using for tomorrow, the two of you are free to explore Paris. I’ll leave the schedule and everything you need on your desk and forward you the rest on your phone.”
“Yes ma’am.” Danielle nodded as Marie left the room with a squeeze to her shoulder. “Don’t worry about not being able to use all the equipment at once,” she said, smiling over at you, “you can trade things out each day based on what you’re feeling.”
You smiled at her sheepishly, holding the camera in your hands close to your chest. “Ah, I must be so easy to read.”
Danielle grinned. “Feel free to grab what you need for tomorrow. We’ll pack it up and have it ready for you when you get here.”
After exploring the room and picking the equipment you’d need for the next day, Danielle had some of the other staff come and help to pack it safely for you. The two of you grabbed your bags and ventured back out onto the street where the car was waiting.
Sliding in and fastening your seatbelt, you and Danielle chatted and laughed as you made your way further into the heart of Paris. The sun was deceptively beautiful as you stepped from the car; high in the sky and tricking you into the belief that somehow it was suddenly warm.
Shivering, you fastened your arms around your waist as Danielle joined you at your side, motioning with her head to follow her. “This is my favorite place to shop. It’s called Avenue des Champs Elysees and it’s probably the most famous shopping district in Paris. It’s got a great mix of things to do here, including luxury brands and affordable.”
“I like the sound of affordable.” You grinned.
After spending a good portion of the morning and afternoon shopping (and finding the cutest ebony peplum coat and even a gorgeous red beret) the two of you made your way to lunch in a nearby café. The exterior was a beautiful crimson with two six pane windows on either side of the door and garland wrapping across the edged of the roof and down the columns in front. The inside was cozy and warm with soft colors and a beautifully decorated fir tree in the corner.
“It’s so beautiful in here!” You smile, gaze shifting around the room and Danielle grinned.
“It’s my favorite café,” she admitted, “I always get the same so I’ll wait until you’re ready to order and then we can go grab a seat.”
After placing your order and finding a nice cozy table in the back, you dropped your bags below the table and slipped out of your coat, fingers wrung together to try and encourage warmth. “We start work officially tomorrow, right?” You asked and Danielle nodded, flipping through her wallet before placing it on the table in front of her.
“Yes, tomorrow is the first official day.”
“And you’ll be with me the whole time, right?” You asked, nerves heightened now that you had a moment to think about it.
“Yeah” she smiled, placing her hand over yours and squeezing, “don’t worry. I’ll be with you the whole time. I’ll guide you and make sure you know where you’re going and what you’re doing. We’ll even go to the venues early so that we can get settled into our spots and so that you can have a look around and get a feel for the location.”
“That would be great.” You breathed, the tightness in your chest lessening. “Sorry, just a little nervous.”
“Totally normal,” Danielle nodded, leaning towards you across the table, “I’d think you were a little weird if you weren’t nervous. This is a big thing, I get it. New place, new people, new experience. It’s understandable why you’d be nervous. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”
“Thank you, Danielle.” You grinned. “So, what should I expect for tomorrow?”
“Well, tomorrow is going to honestly be a little overwhelming and kind of busy. You and I will both be in the pit together taking pictures, but Marie has got two spaces sectioned off for us so we don’t have to worry about that too much.”
“The pit?” You asked. “Like an orchestra?”
Danielle smiled, leaning back as the server brought your drinks to you and you wrapped your chilled fingers around the warm ceramic of your hot chocolate mug. “Not quite. It’s an area at the very end of the stage reserved for the photographers. We’re probably going to be standing on boxes and it’s a little cramped with everyone shoved together, but it’s part of the thrill.”
“And we’ve got reserved spots?” You asked, sipping at your drink.
“Yeah, but it’s a bit cut throat in the pit at times so we’ll be having some markers going over a number of hours before us to make sure that no one tries taking our spots.”
“What’s a marker?” You asked, eyebrow rising.
“A marker is just someone that goes and marks your spot. We’ve already got ours marked, but like I said, it can be a bit intense so we’ll have people reserving our spots by sitting in them until we get there.”
“Wow,” you sighed, “there’s a big learning curve.” You had no idea the fashion industry was so do or die, but you were actually kind of looking forward to sinking your teeth into it.
“There is,” Danielle nodded, “but don’t worry, I’ll make sure to guide you through it and answer all your questions. Also, I think that’s our food.”
You turn around to watch the waitress carry your food over, setting it in front of you before thanking her and digging in.
The rest of the afternoon was spent meandering through the shops in different alleyways, picking up small knickknacks or clothes that you liked before heading back to the hotel to drop your stuff off. You’d asked Danielle about the market outside your hotel and she’d enthusiastically agreed to take you.
“This Christmas market comes every year and lasts a week into January. They’ve got cute things for your home, souvenirs, and a lot of really yummy food. Have you ever tried chestnuts?” She asked, turning to look at you as you refastened the buttons on your coat and twisted a scarf around your neck.
“Chestnuts? As in the things squirrels eat?” You asked, following her back out into the square in front of your hotel and turning off to the side where you could see the Christmas market waiting.
Danielle laughed. “Yes, squirrels eat them, but so do humans. Do you smell that sweet, rich smell?” She asked as you walked slowly towards your destination. The wind picked up slightly and you shivered from the cold, but you could smell it. You nodded and she continued.
“That’s a chestnut. We roast them in the winter and then eat them. They can be a little interesting to open, but they’re a fun experience to have and I personally love them. They taste a bit like a sweet potato.”
“A nut tastes like a sweet potato?” You asked, staring around in amazement as you stepped into the market and the vibrancy of the colors instantly grabbed your attention. It was surprisingly warmer and you supposed that was due to the steam coming from the different food stalls nearby.
Everything you could have ever dreamed of was in this market. Small wooden stalls reminiscent of the swiss style chalet’s held chestnuts, crepes, mulled wine, gloves and scarves, games, Christmas decorations and so much more. The market wound further down the street and around corners that you could not see. Your greedy eyes devoured as much as they could as Danielle talked more about chestnuts and the different things that she wanted you to try. There were children nearby with a man selling balloons outside of a cotton candy stall and your mouth watered at the smell. Directly next to you was a stall with waffles and around 30 different toppings. Different artisan booths selling things you knew you didn’t need but definitely wanted.
In the center of it all, and right beside a glowing carousal, there was a small band of performers, violins and guitars playing Jingle Bells with children weaving in between their parents in the square, playing a game of tag and screaming in delight.
“This is so amazing!” You grinned, turning to find Danielle watching you and she smiled, bumping your shoulder with hers.
“Let’s get some food.” After grabbing a small paper bag of chestnuts, two different kinds of crepes and a couple mulled wines between the two of you, you found a table to sit at and put your stuff down.
“First, I want you to try the chestnuts.” Danielle grinned, shaking the bag in front of you in excitement. “Don’t worry if you don’t like it, I’ll be happy to eat them all, trust me, but you should at least try it. It’s part of the Christmas market experience!”
“Ok, ok.” You chuckled, pulling a chestnut from the bag. It was still hot and you hissed, bouncing it between your fingers as you began to peel away the layers. “How long until I get to the actual nut?” You exasperated, once you’d made it down to a fuzzy skin under the shell.
Danielle laughed, sipping at her wine, “there’s only two layers. Under that fuzzy stuff is the actual nut.”
Discarding the two outer shells, you finally held the nut between two fingers. “Wow, the texture is so different than what I thought it would be.” You marveled. It was firm, but had a spongey consistency, almost like an uncooked mushroom.
“Try it.” Danielle encouraged, popping her own chestnut into her mouth and chewing.
She was right, it did sort of taste like a sweet potato, sweet and a little earthy. The taste was a little bland, but it was warm and with a little salt would have made a good snack. “It’s OK,” you smiled, “not really my thing but I can see why people like them.”
Danielle nodded, pulling another from the bag and beginning to peel. “Yeah, it’s not everyone’s thing. Here, we’ve got these too.” She said, pushing your crepe towards you and you smiled, grabbing the fork from the plate and cutting off a piece.
“Now this is what I was really looking forward to.”
With bites of warm food and sips of mulled wine to heat your insides, you spent the rest of the night talking and laughing until you returned to your bed, warm from alcohol and conversation, ready to take on the exciting new day in less than 9 hours.
****
You’d never felt more like a chicken without its head than you did right now. The office had been hectic, people running around, grabbing the things they needed and looking like they were in some sort of well controlled panic as they fled the building to their different shoots.
On the car ride to the venue, Danielle told you that the two of you would be covering two shoots today, both Hermes and Dior. Just hearing the names made you a little dizzy so you mostly listened instead of talking. You were glad that Danielle was going to be there with you, taking pictures herself. There was a little less pressure to not mess things up since they would still have her professional pictures to fall back on if they needed them.
The Hermes shoot was teeming with life. The walls and ceilings were made to look like you were in an outdoor tent and you tried to look around and admire as much as you could while still keeping your place behind Danielle and winding towards where the other photographers were setting up. None of the seats were occupied yet, since you’d arrived an hour before the show was due to start. Danielle said this was typical because you needed to be in your places with things set up and ready to go before the crowds started filing in. There would be no time once people started showing up.
Thankfully you’d had time this morning in the office to fiddle around with the camera you were using today, checking settings and getting comfortable with its abilities. That was something that had made you nervous in the beginning; that you wouldn’t have enough time to adjust to the equipment. Each camera was different and you were afraid you’d get stuck trying to make something work when you were supposed to be taking pictures.
Danielle had helped you find a camera with an f/2.8 aperture and pretty decent zoom range. “The models will be moving fast; you’ll need to adjust quickly. Make sure you’re getting well acquainted with that camera because once the show starts, you won’t be able to fiddle around with it without missing important moments.”
The two of you came to a stop beside the photographers, Danielle greeting a man and a woman sitting on two stools in the center towards the front and after a short conversation, they left and Danielle directed you to take a seat on one of the stools. “So, this is the pit.” Danielle grinned, adjusting her camera bag on her lap and digging through for what she needed.
You sat down beside her, looking around and nodding in greeting to a few of the photographers whose eyes you caught. “Wow, and we’re all just gonna be shoved in like sardines, huh?” You asked, turning your gaze back to Danielle who smiled.
“Welcome to fashion show life.” She leaned forward to whisper, “all of these people can either help you, or hinder you. Always make sure you are kind and friendly, establish relationships…but always be weary. Everyone is looking for their next big break, even if it comes at a cost, you know?”
You nod, leaning back on your stool and digging through your bag to grab your camera. You were pretty comfortable with it because the settings were similar to your camera back home, just way better quality. Now you just needed to make sure it was on the right settings to capture the images you wanted. You quickly switched your camera to manual, 1/250 at f/4 and took some practice shots of the people still putting the final touches on the stage. The pictures were so crisp and clear you had to stop yourself from doing a little happy wiggle in your seat. It was going to be hard to go back to your own camera after using such an amazing piece of equipment.
You chatted briefly with some of the photographers around you, mostly men, a couple from New York, 3 from London, but almost everyone else around you seemed to be from France. It was intimidating to look around and see only 1 other woman aside from Danielle and yourself, but that wasn’t going to stop you from kicking their photography butts. You weren’t competitive most of the time, but if you felt like somehow you were going to have to fight for something, you definitely would.
Slowly the room began to fill and you could barely contain your amazement. Some of the biggest names in Hollywood were sitting mere steps away from you, but there was no way you were going to show the other photographers how much of an amateur you were, so when Charlize Theron sat only 10 feet from you, you focused your eyes on the walkway in front of you and swallowed down your squeal of delight.
When the show started you felt like your stomach had jumped into your throat. You followed Danielle’s cue, pulling your camera up to rest against your eye and taking a deep breath in. This was it. This was the moment you’d been waiting for. The music started and models began walking down the runway, cameras flashing all around you and you let determination settle into your chest before quickly focusing in and snapping pictures.
Adrenaline kicked in, pouring through your veins as you watched the models move from the lens of your camera, taking as many pictures as you possibly could while they were in front of you. All noise funneled into a pinprick of sound until it was gone and you were alone with just your camera and the show in front of you. You never thought you’d actually enjoy the thrill of a high scale fashion show, but here you were, pulse erratic and stomach bubbling with excitement.
When the show was finally over and the other photographers were packing away their equipment, rushing on to the next show, you felt like you could finally breath again. “How was it?” Danielle asked, carefully placing her camera in its bag and gazing at you from the corner of her eye.
“Wow.” You said, and she laughed. “That’s the best word to describe it. There was a lot going on and it was a real challenge to stay focused at first. Especially when there were so many celebrities around. Did you see Charlize Theron sat right there?!”
Danielle giggled, nodding, “I did see. These shows get quite crazy. You’re really in for a treat when we go to the Dior show, they always, always put on a massive production. They’re doing their show at the Louvre this season and it’s inside this dome of flowers. It’s incredible.”
You frowned, eyebrows pinching in the center. “Inside a dome of flowers? Did they construct that inside the building?”
“You’ll see.” She grinned. “For now, though, we’ve got an hour and a half before we need to be there so let’s grab some lunch quickly. There’s some food trucks nearby.” You followed after her, bag slung across your shoulder with all your equipment safely inside and made your way outside into the crisp afternoon air.
“I didn’t realize how stuffy it was in there until we got outside.” You said, taking a deep breath in.
“Yeah, the pit always gets a bit stagnant, so many bodies, so little air. Ah, there they are.” She said, pointing off to the left and you followed after her, sitting down at an open table outside of one of the trucks.
After Danielle ordered, you switched places, leaving her to watch over the equipment and ordering your own food and drink. A full stomach later and a quick drive to the next venue, you found your spots, relieving the markers of their duty and setting up camp on your stools.
Danielle had been right. A giant dome of flowers had been built, within the Cour Carrée, the courtyard at the east end of the Louvre. Purple delphinium stems sprouting from every corner of the rolling garden turf. You felt like you’d entered some fantasy land as you stepped through the guarded doors and made your way towards the pit with Danielle.
“This is so cool!” You whispered and Danielle smirked.
“I told you, Dior always means business.”
This show was unlike anything you’d ever seen, making the hairs at the back of your neck stand to attention. This venues photographers were far more cut throat than the last and you definitely had to physically avoid some sabotage shots, but you were proud to say you held your own and at the end of it you even managed to get a picture with Rihanna and Elizabeth Olsen. That one was just for you, though.
“Ok,” Danielle said, after she’d finishing packing her bag and you’d put your own equipment away. “Let’s head back to the office and get some editing done. We’ll be working one on one with Marie to go over your work and see what kind of guidance we can give you for the next few shows.”
“Sounds great.” You smiled, slinging your bag over your shoulder and following her out to the car.
It was still afternoon, though slightly late afternoon by the time you made it back to the office. Setting your equipment gently down on your table, you unloaded your camera and sat down at your company provided laptop to turn it on and get the pictures uploaded.
It was going to take some time to get everything on the computer and then even more time to get things edited to the proper standard. You also had a meeting at some point with both Marie and Danielle to go over the pictures and find a better direction for the next few photoshoots. From what you understood, tomorrow you’d be doing the Marc Jacobs and Hussein Chalayan shows. You were going to have so much editing to do. You already had a headache.
“We’re going to meet with Marie in about an hour so go ahead and get some editing done. That way you can show her your raw images as well as the edits and she can give you some critiques.”
You nodded, pursing your lips and turning back to the computer as the main screen pulled up. “Sounds like a plan.”
Loading the pictures took longer than you’d initially wanted, but you had taken a lot of pictures so you couldn’t really be upset. The computer was doing things as quickly as possible. As soon as you were able, you began clicking through pictures, finding the ones you liked the most and beginning the editing process. You’d only been able to edit 2 pictures by the time Danielle was motioning you towards the conference room so you quickly saved your work, before closing your laptop and bringing it with you.
The conference room was significantly cooler than the rest of the office and you sighed in relief. You were beginning to get a little too warm at your desk and editing when hot was never a good combination. You sat down, waiting for Marie to join you, watching her through the all glass windows as she finished a phone call, grabbing her things and pushing out of her office, making a quick left to the conference room.
“How was it?” She smiled, her long dark cardigan billowing behind her. She pushed a wave of grey hair from her forehead and back towards her bun and you smiled excitedly.
“It exceeded expectations!” You gushed, watching as she sat down across from you, “really, it was so exciting seeing all those incredible models through the lens of my camera. Totally different from what I’m used to shooting.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing some of your pictures, then.” She smiled, hands held out in request of your laptop and you quickly opened it, logging back in.
“I’ve only been able to edit 2 pictures so far, loading them was more time consuming than I thought it would be.”
“That is ok, you have plenty of time today to edit. This is why we did not want to overwhelm you with photoshoots. You will need time to edit them before the conclusion of your internship.” She replied, scanning through your pictures carefully. You watched with apprehension as Marie scanned your pictures with what you hoped was interest, it looked like interest, at least.
Finally, she nods, turning to smile at you. “These are excellent. I’m very impressed with your style. Don’t be afraid to try a few more angles. It’s a little difficult to do in such a small space, but I think you can do it. I’d also like to see a few more pictures of the venue and the guests attending. Your attention to detail on the clothes is really astounding. Sometimes even professional pictures can be blurry with the models walking so quickly, but your pictures are so clear.”
After going back and forth about more you could do to increase the effectiveness of your work, your computer was returned to you and you excitedly continued your editing. The three of you remained in the office until dinner time when you finally wished each other farewell and the car dropped you back off at your hotel. Danielle had to have dinner with her family, so for tonight, you would relax, take a bubble bath, order room service and attempt to find a movie you could understand.
****
The Marc Jacobs show was filled with a lot of neutrals, which wasn’t a bad thing, but it made for less interesting pictures. There was a quartet of string instruments playing in the corner; a song that was a little too sharp, but perfectly representative of the mood of the clothing.
You made sure to get as many different angles as you could, keeping in mind Marie’s and Danielle’s different advice for your pictures. After the show, Danielle pointed out the French celebrities you should definitely get pictures of, and you made sure to get a good selection of pictures of anything else you felt might be relevant.
The next show was Hussein Chalayan, which you were particularly interested in because you’d never actually heard of him. From what Danielle had told you, he did some pretty quirky things with his outfits so you were looking forward to seeing what he had in store.
The atmosphere of the show was deep and moody. The clothes varied between muted tones and reds with a rather boxy style, but they made for excellent pictures. The audience was extremely receptive and it made the environment even more exciting. You could hear the shutter of Danielle’s camera in time with the click of your fingers on your own. You hadn’t gotten the chance to see any of her pictures, but now you were curious.
After the show ended and you were packed and ready to go, the two of you went to a nearby restaurant to sit and go over your pictures. “I am so curious about your style,” You said, just after your drinks were delivered.
“My style?” Danielle asked, eyes wide as she looked at you.
“Yes,” you chuckled, “your photography style. You were hired on after your internship, I could probably learn a thing or two from you.”
She smiled bashfully, spooning some sugar into her coffee and shaking her head, curls brushing against her cheeks. “I don’t know, you’re already pretty good. Marie has been really impressed with you.”
“Come on, come on, don’t feel shy. Let me see one picture, just one!” You bargained and Danielle laughed, opening her camera bag and pulling her camera out.
“OK, but only one.”
You nodded, reaching for the camera and pulling it towards you, staring down at the picture sitting on the screen. It was a picture of the last model, perched at the end of the runway, staring down into the lens of the camera as though Danielle were the exact person she was looking at. The angle was beautiful, the sheer of her dress captured beautifully in the lighting. Everything in the background faded making for a beautiful forefront.
“This is beautiful, Danielle. Wow, now I feel like the amateur I am!” You pouted and Danielle laughed, swatting your arm.
“Oh stop.” She said, taking the camera from you, powering it off and placing it back in its casing. “Your pictures are beautiful, Y/N. You capture details I couldn’t even dream of.”
“Well that’s just a bald-faced lie.” You grinned, rolling your eyes good naturedly at her. “So, you said this was our last fashion shoot, right?”
“No, we have two more fashion shows tomorrow and then the rest of the week will be editing. Then next week you’ll have two couture design shoots to do in office.”
“Oh, who are we going to photograph tomorrow? I don’t remember.”
Danielle glanced down at her phone where Marie had sent the schedule, “Tomorrow we’ve got Thierry Mugler and Saint Laurent.”
“Oh that’s right. I’ve heard of Thierry Mugler. I thought he just did perfume, though?”
“Nope,” Danielle chirped, putting her phone back in the pocket of her dress pants. “He’s mainly a fashion designer. I generally enjoy his shows. They are clear cut and to the point.”
“That sounds like my type of show!” You giggled.
After lunch, the two of you made your way back to the office, burying yourselves in editing until you could barely see straight. But so far, you’d accomplished a lot and were already ¾ of the way through editing the first two shows. Tomorrow you’d finish those two and then move onto the two new ones. It was exciting and overwhelming and you were really starting to feel a sense of power in your work.
Everyone around you was a powerhouse; Marie and Danielle the most inspiring of them all. You’d met some of your other coworkers and while most spoke only French, the few you were able to talk to had taught you a lot.
Aluin, who sat beside you on your right had given you some invaluable pointers on how to take better photographs and he showed you some of his own work from back when he was in college. The work ethic and self confidence that he’d built over the years was inspiring. He was so self-assured about anything he tried.
Even if he didn’t meet his goal or it ended in a way that was less than what he’d wanted, he just used that as an opportunity for growth and to push for better and you admired that attitude so much. You’d spent so much time feeling sorry for yourself; you didn’t want to do that anymore. You were going to be better than ever before.
****
There was something about the wave of adrenaline that you would get just as the show was starting that was addicting, and your final fashion show was the cherry on top of your fantastic cake. Saint Laurent was not only right at the top of all the fashions you’d liked from the experience, but the show itself was so thrilling.
A dimly lit room with floor to ceiling mirrors and lights flashing in and out like rolling ocean waves along the ceiling of the venue. If you hadn’t been taking pictures, you would have been dancing with the blood boiling in your veins. You weren’t sure you would ever choose fashion photography as your future career, but you could certainly see why someone would.
The pictures turned out amazing, the venue was the perfect environment for a dark and sexy vibe and you were so excited, scanning through your pictures of both the Thierry Mugler and Saint Laurent shows that your hips couldn’t help wiggling away in the back seat.
Danielle chuckled at your enthusiasm and you smiled at her, tilting your camera in her direction. “Look at these pictures!” You enthused, “I’m not one for tooting my own horn or anything, but these are freaking amazing.”
Danielle leaned closer, scanning the pictures as you flipped through them, nodding in appreciation. “It’s amazing, you’ve only been here, what, four days? You’ve already improved so much; I can seriously tell.”
“Thank you so much!” You grinned, embarrassed but pleased by her compliments. “I’m honestly feeling pretty good about myself.”
“As you should. You’ve got a lot going for you.”
The office was only half full when you got to back; most of the photographers and markers out on location. A few photographers were still in the building either editing or doing a couture shoot in the back and there were a few other staff members whose jobs you actually weren’t really sure of.
You spent the next few hours really focusing on work, getting as much edited as possible. Your first two shoots were now safely edited and sent off for review and you were already around 1/3 or the way through the second two. The office slowly filled the more people came back from their respective photoshoots and conversation picked up, loud with excitement from the week. It was close to dinner time when you finally shut your laptop off for the day, stretching your arms over your head with a groan.
“Hungry?” Danielle asked, standing behind her chair and pushing her arms through the sleeves of her coat.
“Definitely.” You smiled, standing up. You pulled on your slouchy knit hat, and wrapped your scarf around your neck before grabbing your own coat. Just as you were slipping your arms through the sleeves, Marie came and stopped by your desk, bundled chic and warm.
“Will the two of you accompany me to dinner? My treat.” She asked, purse hanging high on her perfectly rounded shoulders.
“Well, with an offer like that, how can we refuse?” Danielle said and you grinned.
The restaurant of Marie’s choosing was far fancier than your blood could afford and you immediately felt like you should be refusing such generosity, but at her insistence, the three of you sat down at a table close to the center and began to look through the menu.
After ordering and seeing the waiter off, you turned back to Marie whose glossy red lips were pulled into a smile. “How has it been, Y/N, going to photograph all those shows?”
“Absolutely incredible!” You beamed. “I could never have imagined such an amazing opportunity for myself, I’m honestly so grateful. I have already learned so much.”
“Which show was your favorite?” She asked, taking a sip of the red wine the waiter had poured for her shortly after you’d sat down.
“Honestly, it was Saint Laurent from today. His pieces were elegant and not too flashy and the show itself just felt really exciting.” You admitted
“I remember when I first started going to fashion shows,” Marie commented, twirling her glass in her hand, “I was really young, just recently graduated from university. I met a man there in the audience; a very promising fashion designer. His name was Pierre Dubois and he was really something special. I greatly admired his work and he is actually what gave me the idea for this company. I wanted so badly to photograph his art and publish it, but I did not have the skill of photography so instead I just spent my time with him; admiring him.”
She smiled at the memory; eyes wistful as she looked down into the swirling red of her glass. “We married in the spring when I was 25. Young and in love and a little bit foolish. Pierre was trying to start his own fashion company because his designs were beginning to find recognition and I was just happy to enjoy the journey with him. I still wanted to start this company, though, so Pierre encouraged me and with the money we’d made from the selling of his clothing, I started this company. It was very challenging for a while, it was a different time and so many people believed I could not be successful because I was a woman, but I was determined and what I say goes. Soon enough, he was becoming a bigger name and eventually my company started to grow. The rest is as you say, history.”
You smiled at the idea, that two people could start something so special together and see it become so successful. It made you crave something like that, in the future at least. Whether it was with a romantic partner or a friend, you hoped someday you could make something special like that. “Is your husband in any of the fashion shows?” You asked, taking a sip of your own wine.
Marie smiled softly, shaking her head. “No, he actually died shortly after his 40th birthday. It is unfortunate that the world could not have seen more of his designs. He really was a visionary.”
“Oh,” you said, heart sinking. “I’m so sorry to hear that. My dad died when I was 11, so I understand. He was a talented author and I’ve often wondered what else he could have come up with, if he hadn’t left so early.”
“Some of the best people this world has known, have been taken far too early.” Marie nodded, placing her glass down on the table and smiling over at you, “that is why we must be strong and continue the work for them. I may not be able to design fashion like my Pierre, but I can show the world what he loved and keep that dream alive. I love doing that for him.”
The food arrived just then so conversation switched quickly, but Marie’s words stuck in your head for the rest of the night. You wanted to be strong like Marie, to keep your dad’s visions alive. You couldn’t write wild and vivid stories like he could, but you could find joy in the little things and you were determined to share those things with the world.
****
It was already Friday and the work was long and tedious while you were editing. You didn’t have any more fashion shoots until next week on Tuesday and Wednesday so you had today and Monday to get the rest of the editing done for Fashion week. The editing was the worst part of photography, but the end product was always worth it.
Danielle had, had to leave for a doctor’s appointment about two hours ago and you were craving her company already. You dreaded thinking about when you’d go back home and she wouldn’t be there anymore. You’d been staring at your screen for 20 minutes now, wondering what was missing from this picture’s edit that you weren’t seeing.
Rubbing at your eyes, you leaned back in your chair, yawning with a stretch of your arms over your head. You still had a few hours left of work and you needed a short break. A sudden thought popped into your head, and before you could think better of it, you were clicking onto your Instagram and flipping through your friend’s pages. You knew you shouldn’t, but your fingers had a mind of their own and you were already typing in Taehyung’s name before you could even register what you were doing.
His page popped up with a flood of mostly familiar pictures, but there were two from the winter break you hadn’t seen yet. The first was a picture of him at the entertainment company he’d been signed to back at the beginning of November. He was standing with someone from the company and looked really excited and that made you happy.
You wished you could have made him happy, but you just hadn’t been ready. Flipping to the next picture, he and Jin were on the beach, the sun setting behind them and bright smiles on their faces. You were really happy for them; living out their dreams. Not very many people seemed to be able to do that, but you were happy they could; they deserved it.
“Is that the guy?”
You jumped, glancing to your left as Danielle set down her bag and sat in her seat, a knowing grin on her face.
You chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, that’s Taehyung.”
“Did you come up with a game plan?” She asked, shrugging off her coat and slipping her scarf from her neck.
You shook your head, pursing your lips. “Not yet. Honestly, I’ve been so busy I haven’t really given myself time to sit down and think about it.”
“I don’t think that’s a bad thing.” Danielle remarked, bringing her laptop back to life, “You’re giving yourself time to really clear the air and then it will be easier to find a solution to tackle the problem. Sometimes if we think too much about something, we end up going in circles and never find a real solution.”
You nodded; lips puckered. “That’s true.” You admitted. “Man, I’m gonna miss your insights!”
Danielle laughed, squeezing your arm from beside you. “You still have another week of this internship, don’t miss me yet!”
“That’s true, maybe I’ll be sick of you by the end of it.” You teased. “So, how’d the doctors go?”
“Good.” She smiled, pulling up her editing software and pictures, “it was just a routine checkup. I had surgery a few months back so I’ve been going in to make sure everything is healing properly.”
“Oh wow, and everything’s good so far?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, leaning back in her chair and looking over at you. “It was a slipped disk that’s been bothering me for a while. It’s been years now, but when I was pregnant there were some complications and I got a herniated disk because of it. I didn’t think much of it because it didn’t really hurt at first, but over the last year or so it was pretty painful so I went and got surgery to take care of it.”
“Wow, so you’ve just been working this whole time with a slipped disk?” You gaped, leaning forward in your seat and she chuckled, waving you off.
“Adulthood. I have bills to pay and can’t really afford to take the time off. Besides, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“You are way tougher than me.” You nodded, going back to your laptop and surveying the picture you’d been stuck on before.
“Naw, no way,” Danielle said, “you’re only as strong as you say you are.”
You smiled over at her before twisting your laptop towards her, “I’m in need of your help, oh wise one. What’s missing from this picture?”
Danielle grinned, leaning towards the picture, eyebrow scrunched in thought. “Turn the resolution up just a little and it will be perfect.”
****
Saturday morning was a welcomed break from the hectic schedule of photoshoots and editing. Danielle had told you to sleep in and be ready by 11. She was going to take you sight-seeing and you were crossing your fingers for the Eiffel Tower and a museum or two.
“Of course,” Danielle said, once you’d told her what you were hoping for, “no trip is complete without at least going to the top of the Eiffel Tower and seeing the Louvre in all of its grandeur.”
“I am so glad we agree! What about Notre Dame? I would love to see that.”
“Add it to the list!” Danielle grinned and you cheered.
After having a light lunch at a café not far from your hotel, the two of you made your way to the Eiffel Tower, paying and taking the elevators all the way to the top. The air was quite cold, but the sweeping view was worth it.
All of Paris was set out around you. It had snowed the night before, only enough to dust the ground and trees, but somehow it made the sight more beautiful. Buildings made of Limestone could be seen for miles, all topped by pristine white. The river Seine was just to your left, beautiful and shivering in the breeze.
You were pretty sure you took an obscene number of pictures, but you didn’t care. You weren’t sure if you’d ever come back here again so you didn’t want to forget a thing. Notre Dame was equally impressive, walls covered in stone and beautiful portraits. The statue Pieta was absolutely breathtaking, you couldn’t help but marvel at how someone could make something from a single slab of marble.
You’d studied all about Michelangelo and his work in your Art History class so seeing some of the pieces in person was a little mind blowing. “I can’t believe I’m here.” You whispered, glancing around the room.
“I never get tired of seeing this.” Danielle admitted. “The grandiose makes you feel so small, but in a good way.”
The golden glow of the lights against the walls made you feel warm and cozy. The vaulted domes of the ceilings inspired awe that you just couldn’t get over. There was nothing like this back home, no intensely rich culture and history that you could just feel in your bones. You would miss that a lot when you returned home. Customs were different here; in that they were intense and made you feel like a tightly knit group.
There was a sense of belonging that you enjoyed witnessing and made this internship all the more worthwhile. After spending another hour touring every nook and cranny that you were allowed to see, Danielle took you back to the Louvre, which you were particularly excited about. You’d seen just glimpses of it from the Dior fashion show, but now you would get to go inside and explore.
“The history of the louvre itself is amazing,” you remarked as both you and Danielle began to walk the halls, stopping here and there to gaze at paintings or statues. “It was once a castle under the rule of Philip II before becoming a palace for the successive kings as their main dwelling. Eventually one of the kings switched the main residence to the Palace of Versailles and this building became an unintentional museum, housing the royal collection. Did you know at one point the Louvre was even renamed Musée Napoléon when Napoléon was in power?”
“I did,” Danielle smiled, “but I’ve always been a bit of a history buff.”
“Ah, well then you must have already known all of that!” You lamented and Danielle chuckled.
“No, not all of it, but even if I had, your passion is quite charming. I enjoy talking to you; it’s always an intelligent conversation.”
“Well I’m glad I could be of some use.” You teased.
****
The weekend passed quickly and Monday was too bright and too early, but you were happy to be back at work; it was a welcome distraction from the ticking of the time on your internship. Only a few more days and you would close the door on a once in a lifetime opportunity. You were trying not to mourn the experience while you still had time left. There would be opportunities for that later.
You had your second to last photoshoot tomorrow and today you were going to be drowning in editing. You spent the morning editing by yourself, Danielle having back to back meetings with Marie and a few of the other members of staff, but at least it allowed you to fully concentrate on your work.
After lunch you worked one on one with Marie, going over the details of Tuesdays and Wednesdays shoots before sending her the pictures you’d edited thus far. You were mostly done at this point, just a handful more and you were excited to see that finished. You were always a little tired of seeing your own pictures after a dozen or so hours of staring at them.
Monday finished with nothing more than a comfortable evening and a fizzle of energy, sinking into the plush of the hotel mattress. You would be sad to say goodbye to this bed; it had given you some of the best sleep of your life so far. Tuesday was a different sort of chaos. The energy was new, less intense than fashion week, but still there in its own variety. There were too many people in the studio, full of nervous energy and differing opinions of how they wanted the models to look.
At Marie’s sharp insistence that they let the photographer do her job, you were diving into the deep end; point and shoot. This was a little more comfortable for you, a little more of what you were used to. The ability to capture what you wanted; what you found beautiful. You were less used to guiding posture and more used to discovering it in its own natural state, but there was something invigorating in the power of it.
You were in complete control of your pictures, and whether they turned out well was 90% in your hands and only 10% in the hands of the models. As it was, they were professionals so you were assuming the 100%. That was OK, though. You were a perfectionist at best, which was amusing to some because of how candid your pictures tended to be, but they were perfection in their realism, which was exactly how you liked them.
The room was hot and a little stuffy; you were warm and wet in the creases of your shirt, but you lived for this. The models did exactly as you told them and, in the end, you were pretty happy with the images you’d captured. An afternoon spent editing was a price you were willing to pay to ensure the details were right.
A company dinner with conversations in broken English, too much French wine, and not enough space between bodies in the booths made for a well-rounded evening and you met your pillow with a belly warm from Pinot Noirs.
****
Wednesday morning greeted you with sun and a hangover. It was still too cold so you bundled yourself warm and waited for the car after breakfast. Danielle greeted you at the office, standing just inside the door with a smile and a hot chocolate.
“How are you feeling?” She asked, eyes flicking across your body and you grimaced.
“Too much wine,” you admitted, “but I’ll survive.” The elevator was stuffed full of people greeting each other with sleepy bonjours and stiff head nods. It felt like a Monday.
“Last photoshoot today!” Danielle enthused, stepping from the elevator and you followed after, nodding your head briefly before regretting the action entirely. Your head was still pounding. You needed to drink your water bottle before you could even dive into the drink Danielle had given you.
“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to staring at a computer screen the next 5 hours come editing time.” You said, pulling your water bottle from your bag and chugging the remainder. “I took some medicine this morning when I woke up, though, so I should be a little less dead in 10 minutes.”
Danielle nodded, motioning towards the closet over her shoulder and you followed, going to get the equipment you’d need for the day. You loved the flexibility you got with this internship. You’d heard about how creativity stifling some could be, the dictation of what your work was meant to be like, so you’d been thrilled to find that most creative decisions were left in your hands. Danielle and Marie’s guidance had been invaluable, though, and you really looked forward to continuing to implement what they’d taught in your future career.
“I think you should use the EOS 5D Mark IV for this one,” Danielle said, going to take the camera from its casing, carefully holding it out for you as she searched for different lenses you could use. “It’s gonna help you get more details with this shoot. The clothing the models are wearing today are pretty intricate so we need you to get some pretty in-depth pictures. Here, take the EF 24-70mm as well, just in case.”
The office was filling with life as you made your way back to your desk, carefully setting the camera down before sitting in your seat and switching to the settings you’d need for the shoot. You had about an hour before the models got here so you went to go set up the room with Danielle’s help, taking a few practice shots to make sure the camera was working properly.
Marie joined you when the models did, helping to show you good positioning that would exhibit the clothing without being too intense. The dresses they were wearing were definitely intricate; lots of beading and gems. Your favorite was a black tulle dress with gold star like designs across it and a deep V-neck into the middle of the sternum. The price of €9674.50 had you gagging, but you weren’t buying it, so for now you would just enjoy looking at it.
Once the shoot was over and the frames were loaded into your laptop, you began the tedious task of editing your final photoshoot. It was bitter sweet in that it meant that your internship was basically over. You would finish editing tomorrow and then Friday afternoon you would fly home.
Sighing, you sat back in your chair, pulling your arms behind you, fingers linked together as your chest opened wide in a stretch. “I can’t believe it’s almost over.” You mourned, and Danielle turned to look at you, lips twitching up in a small smile.
“The time really has gone by quickly.” She admitted.
“I feel like so much has changed.” You said, pushing the lid of your laptop until it was almost closed.
“In what respect? You or life or something else?”
“Everything, I guess.” You shrugged. “I’ve learned a lot about my craft, but I’ve also been learning a lot about what it means to be a strong woman and it’s all thanks to yours and Marie’s example.”
Danielle looked flustered at your admission, holding a hand up to her chest. “Me? What have I done?”
“Well, you’ve of course given me guidance with my pictures, but you’ve given me unintentional advice that has been invaluable.” At the knit in her brow you continued. “I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way because I mean it completely positively, but in college you found yourself in a situation that was really hard. You knew your strengths and limitations and decided to make a decision that could have destroyed you for the benefit of someone else. If I’d had to make a choice like that, I feel like I would somehow look down on myself, but you’re just so bright and happy and positive.”
Danielle smiled, reaching out and squeezing your hand. “I wasn’t always like this. When I first gave Emile up for adoption, it nearly consumed me with guilt. What mother just gives away their baby? That’s what I kept asking myself. Eventually, I got to the point where I was tired of being my own worst enemy. I had to face my demons and forgive myself. What I did, I did for Emile because I love her. I couldn’t have given her the life that she truly deserved and that was bigger than my desire to be her mother. I had to sort of retrain myself, learn to love the woman I am and stand by the decisions I make. I also had to learn to accept my faults and not let them limit me. I’m not a perfect person, but I’m finally allowing myself to learn from those imperfections instead of letting them dictate my life. It was really a journey of self-love.”
“I’m envious of that,” you admitted, “loving yourself enough to be ok with making mistakes and learning from them instead of being limited by them.”
“Well don’t be jealous,” Danielle said, “do something about it. You can do whatever you set your mind to; look at Marie. The entire industry looked down on her because she was a woman, but instead of choosing to adopt that thinking and let it limit her, she turned around and said, you know what? My being a woman is my strength, not my disadvantage. Then she went and proved it. Seems like right now the person you need to be proving yourself to, is yourself. Self-love is a life long journey, but it’s important.”
“How did you start, then?” You asked, spinning slightly in your chair, armrests gripped tightly between your fingers and gaze trained down on your jeans.
“I started by forgiving my flaws and telling myself every day in the mirror the things I liked about myself. Sounds silly, but it really works. At first, it was hard. My mind was flooded with self-doubt and loathing, but I just kept practicing. For every negative thought, I counteracted that with a positive one until finally there were only positives left.”
“You’re pretty amazing, Danielle.” You said, looking up at you and she smiled.
“So are you, Y/N. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself. You are meant to be your biggest ally.”
****
Later that evening as you stood washing your face at the sink basin of your bathroom, you thought about what Danielle had said. There were a lot of things you didn’t like about yourself, it’s true, but there were a lot of things that you did like, so how could you learn to focus on those things?
Staring into your reflection, you frowned. Danielle was right, it was weird to try and tell yourself the things you liked, but it couldn’t hurt to try. Pursing your lips, you thought hard and decided you wanted to focus on the parts of you people couldn’t see on the outside.
“Uh,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other. “You’re a nice person.” Immediately you were flooded with thoughts of how awkward you were, but you rounded your shoulders and pressed forward. “You genuinely care about people; you don’t just fake it for the convenience of others. You always try really hard to get along with other people, but you don’t take crap from anyone.”
You smiled softly, thinking of some other things you liked about yourself. “You actually have a really good moral compass and a good sense of when a situation or person is good or bad; not everyone has that. You have a good sense of humor; you can always make people laugh and feel relaxed with you. You’re really smart, too. You’ve always knocked down every barrier that was in your way because you were determined enough to do it. This is going to be another one of those times.”
You spent so much time standing in front of that mirror that by the time you were finished, your eyes were heavy with sleep and you were trudging back to the comfort of your bed with a head full of praise and a warm heart. Loving yourself was going to be the best thing you’d ever done for yourself.
****
Friday morning came after a busy Thursday with a final dinner with Marie and Danielle and a teary goodbye to the former, who had an out of town business meeting and couldn’t see you off to the airport.
You’d packed your bags in the evening after dinner and double checked everything in the morning before Danielle came to get you for your final breakfast together. With your bags packed and in the trunk of the car, you’d stopped at a café. You still had two hours before you had to head to the airport for your 2 o’clock flight and your chest was tight with the bittersweet ending of your adventure.
You’d spent yesterday morning and last night after packing, praising yourself in the mirror and even though it had still felt a little awkward, you were already starting to feel a little change. It had given you a lot of time to think about who you were and who you wanted to be and as Danielle went to go pay the bill before you left for the airport, you had another moment to think about it.
One of the biggest things you’d noticed about yourself so far, was the lack of trust you had…in yourself. Maybe that stemmed from the fact that your dad had died and you weren’t able to do anything to stop it, maybe it’s because growing up after that, you were afraid to say no, afraid to hurt others in the way that you felt you been hurt by your dad’s absence. Or maybe you just didn’t trust that you could make sound and reasonable decisions.
Whatever the reason behind your lack of trust in yourself, you began to take note of what others around you were doing to build themselves up. Danielle and Marie were two of the strongest women you’d ever met. Danielle had scars both physical and emotional from her surgery and the baby that she’d given away. Marie had started an empire and carried it on her back, despite the scrutiny of her time that a woman couldn’t create and run a successful company.
You admired them deeply; wanted to be like them in many ways. Over time you realized you couldn’t actually be them…but you could be you, and that was pretty great too. You had a lot of great things going for you, a lot of really good qualities. Sure, you had things to work on, had done things that you weren’t proud of…Taehyung came to mind, but you had resolved to become your best self. You were done living your life in the shadows, feeling so afraid of yourself and the power you possessed, not just as a human being, but as a woman. You were done beating yourself up over the person you weren’t and you were ready to love yourself for the person you already were.
Sitting here in this Parisian café, dressed in your ebony peplum pea coat and cherry red beret feeling more confident than you had in your entire life, you were ready; ready for this change. “You ready to go?”
You glanced up, watching as Danielle came to stand in front of your table and you smiled, grabbing your bag and standing. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” You said, linking your arm with hers.
“I can’t believe it’s already been two weeks. Time really does fly.” Danielle moped and you pouted over at her as she closed the car door behind her.
“It really did go way too fast.” You agreed.
“Will you ever come back to Paris?” Danielle asked, reaching over and linking your hands together.
“I hope so” You said, squeezing her fingers in yours, “And of course you know if you’re ever in my area you’ve got to drop by and say hello.”
“It would be a crime if I didn’t.” She insisted. “I’m really gonna miss you.”
“I’m gonna miss you too.”
“Promise to keep me updated on everything, especially with Taehyung. I need to know how that all goes, I’m too curious to be left in the dark.”
You laughed, “I promise to give you the scoop, but don’t get your hopes up either. I was pretty unfair to him; I wouldn’t blame him if he still doesn’t want to speak to me.”
“Please, look at you. He’ll definitely want to talk.” She grinned, nudging your shoulder and you rolled your eyes at her.
Once you’d reached the airport and said your goodbyes, you lugged your bags through check in and security and then made your way towards the gates. It had only been two weeks but felt like it had been a lifetime. You’d learned so much while you were here.
Staring out the window at your plane, you sighed. You needed to make a plan, figure out how you could ever convince Taehyung how sorry you were and how willing and ready you were to actually give him a chance.
In the end, it had never been about him and all about you. You hadn’t loved yourself enough to realize that you were worthy of the love he was trying to give you. You weren’t willing to face the heartbreak of rejection so you pushed him away without ever really giving him a chance.
Now you realized you’d not only hurt him, but you’d hurt yourself. You were unwilling to do that anymore; to be the destroyer of your own happiness. You were so ready to love yourself, to be your biggest cheer leader. You were ready to face the fact that you were deserving of the love people wanted to give you. You smiled at your reflection in the mirror, the same young woman from two weeks ago, but so different too. You felt powerful, like there was nothing you couldn’t do. You were confident and comfortable in your own skin. Your body wasn’t perfect, you had little spots and cellulite in places you weren’t thrilled about; but this body had gotten you through so much and was always ready to get up and go forward in the morning. It was time your spirit caught up. You loved it in all of its little imperfections and intricacies and in learning to love the outward side of yourself, you were learning to love who you were on the inside too.
Sarah was right, you were one hell of a woman and you were no longer afraid to admit it. Take off was bittersweet; leaving behind the country and opportunity that had allowed for so much growth in your photography and even your confidence was a little scary, leaving with it a feeling of whether or not you could continue when you returned to old habits; but you refused to allow the everyday of your life to retract the progress you’d made. You were too driven.
It was late when you landed, but despite the hour, your family was still there to greet you. Your mom squealed, arms open wide as you jogged towards her, laughing at her excitement. “Oh my gosh!” She gasped, poking at your beret when she’d stood back. “You look so Parisian.”
You grinned, rolling your eyes, “What does that even look like?”
“Like that.” Ben chuckled, pulling you into a hug. “Welcome back, Tuck.”
“Thanks Benny boo.” You smiled and he groaned, grabbing at his chest in complaint.
“Hey Paul.” You said as he pulled you into a firm bear hug.
“How are you kiddo?”
“Super glad to be off that plane.” You admitted, stretching your back when you’d been released. “Economy is not where it’s at.”
Ben worked his arm around your shoulders and the four of you made your way to baggage claim through the handful of late-night stragglers off other planes. “Still can’t believe you went to Paris. Of course, my kid sister gets to do all the cool things.”
“Hey, don’t complain at me, mister. You’re the one who applied for a job at our old high school. You could have tried for that overseas job.”
Ben shrugged as your group came to a stop by your baggage claim, “You know I’m too conventional for that. I want the adventure, but turns out I’m too lame for it.”
“Can’t argue there,” you nodded and Ben laughed, smacking your arm.
“Be nice to your big brother!” He frowned and you wriggled your eyebrows up and down at him.
“It’s pretty cold out there,” Your mother said, linking her arm through yours, “Did you bring a bigger coat or just that?”
“This is surprisingly warm, actually.” You said, “but you know I went out with a bigger coat, I just packed it in my check in.”
“You might want it on.” Paul smiled, zipping his own coat up, “we’re having a bit of a cold snap right now.”
After grabbing your luggage, you followed your family back to the car, loading everything in and finally laying your head against the window. You were exhausted. It was just after midnight by the time you left the airport and after a full day of traveling you were so ready to fall asleep for at least 12 hours.
Conversation was light for the next 20 minutes, mostly your family talking and you drifting in and out of sleep and conversation. By the time you made it back to your house you were nearly asleep. Ben and Paul helped you bring your luggage back up to your room and you made your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
“It’s good to have you back, Tuck.” Ben smiled, kissing your forehead and you smiled up at him around your tooth brush.
“Are you staying the night?” You asked, pulling your brush from your teeth and turning to face him.
“Yeah, it’s winter vacation for us too so mom and Paul said I could stay for the last week of your break and then I’ll head back to my apartment.”
“See you in the morning, then.” You said softly, waving him away and he nodded, heading to his childhood bedroom to sleep.
****
The next morning you woke to a fresh snow and a mild headache. Jet lag was far worse heading over to Paris, but you knew you couldn’t completely escape the time zone difference so you stretched lethargically before stepping from your bed and making your way to the bathroom, fingers digging into an itch in your back.
“Morning sleepy head.” Your mother smiled from the breakfast table after you’d made your way downstairs. “I made breakfast.”
“I see that.” You remarked in amazement, “you really outdid yourself.”
The table was filled with all sorts of delicious foods and your stomach gurgled as you pulled out your chair and sat down. “I can’t decide what to eat first.”
“How about everything?” Paul chuckled, placing down his book and grabbing your plate to fill it with one of everything.
“Morning.” Ben croaked groggily from the door, shuffling his way to his seat, hair stood up in every direction and his eyes half closed with the remnants of his sleep.
“My, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Your mother teased and your brother, having a general lack of energy, just yawned in response. “So, Y/N, you have one week before school, what do you want to do with that time?”
“I want to make a game plan.” You said and Ben looked over at you, one eye closed and the other half lidded.
“A game plan for what?” He mumbled around a mouthful of food.
“How to apologize to Taehyung.” You murmured, staring down at your food.
“Did something happen with him?” Your mother asked, taking a sip of her orange juice.
“Just kind of had a…falling out.” You said, smiling up at her, “he was ready for something more serious than I was and I was too far in my own head. I want to at least talk to him and see if he’s willing to give it one more chance. If not, then at least I’ve tried.”
“That’s a good idea.” Your mom smiled, “tell me more about him; you’ve been so secretive.”
You laughed, taking a drink from your cup, “I don’t really like to talk about things that aren’t for sure yet, you know that. I’ll tell you about him, though. He’s originally from Korea, has a brother and a sister, he’s studying dance and musical performance and he is so talented it’s ridiculous. He lives with a lot of friends from back home and they’re some of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He’s really good at making me feel like I can do anything. I don’t know, he’s just really cool. Plus, he’s cute.” You grinned.
“As he should be,” your mother nodded. “OK, so you’ll make a game plan. Anything else? I was hoping we could go see a movie or something.”
“Yeah, mom wants someone to go a sappy movie with her.” Ben smirked and your mother swatted his arm.
“It’s not sappy.” She complained.
“Mom, it’s like hallmark on steroids.” He scoffed and you chuckled.
“Sure, mom, I’ll go with you. Mostly I just want to relax this week. Eat more than my calorie count allows and lounge on the couch with a blanket and movie.”
“I’m down for that.” Ben agreed, shaggy hair falling into his eyes as he nodded.
“I want both of you to help me with some things around the house while you’re here,” Paul said over his book and you nodded in understanding.
****
After breakfast was over you made your way back to the bathroom for a shower. The steam made you feel warm and lethargic all over again, like climbing back into the toasty heaven that were your sheets. You finished your shower, dressing and getting ready quickly before grabbing a notebook and heading to Ben’s old bedroom, leaving a knock on the solid oak wood panel.
“Come in.” He called from inside and you twisted the bronze knob, cool in your fingertips, until the door swung open. “Hey,” he smiled from his perch at the top of his bed. “What’s up?”
“Was wondering if you could contribute your man’s insight.” You asked and he patted the spot next to him.
“Sure, with what?”
“My game plan.” You said, taking the proffered seat. His bed, while unmade and a little messy, was soft and warm, and you sunk into its embrace happily.
“Ah yes, with that guy Tae something, right?”
“Taehyung, yeah.”
“Ok, so, what have you got so far?” He asked, turning his body so it was facing you, one foot on the floor with the other tucked into the center of his sweats.
“Honestly,” you sighed, “nothing. That’s the problem; I don’t even know how to start.”
“Well, I guess the only way I can really help is if you give me the details of what happened. Can’t help fix a problem I know nothing about.”
“I was hoping we could avoid that part.” You mumbled.
Ben laughed, “Sorry, Tuck. Time to be forthcoming.”
You sighed, nodding before delving into the story, watching his face apprehensively as he frowned or grimaced in certain parts and you wrung your hands nervously.
Ben exhaled loudly when you’d finished, lips puckered forward in thought. “It’s a lot to take in.” He remarked.
“I know.” You murmured.
“Well, obviously you both made mistakes, he should have been a little more patient, but you were definitely giving him mixed signals and leading him on.” Ben said gently and you frowned down at your lap, fingers tracing the rings of your notebook.
“Yeah.”
“It’s not the end of the world, Tuck, it’s been almost a month, you’ve both had time to calm down. Now you guys just need to talk. I honestly think it’s going to take more than just one chat, though, to be fair.”
“What do you mean?” You pouted and Ben smiled, ruffling your hair.
“So far, his romantic experience with you has been your body language and words at complete odds. How’s he supposed to know you’re really ready without you proving it…with time?”
Your shoulders deflated. “I was afraid you were going to say that.”
“Sorry, Y/N. He probably doesn’t trust your word much right now and you’re gonna have to show him you’re really serious about him this time. Building back trust takes time. Tell him you are ready and that you want to prove it to him over time and then be consistent. You make the moves to see him and you follow the signals and signs he gives you. And…if he says he doesn’t want to or isn’t ready, you have to respect that. Sometimes we burn our bridges.”
“I hope I haven’t burned this bridge.” You admit, looking up at your brother.
“I’m rooting for you.” He said, taking your hand in his own.
“Thanks Ben.” You smiled.
“Dad would be really proud of you, you know?” He said suddenly, and you looked over at him, eyes wide. “You’ve grown a lot over the last few years. When dad died, I feel like our family kind of fell apart. You and I were both really angry and I feel like you’ve spent a lot of time self-sabotaging, making it so that people couldn’t get close enough to hurt you anymore. I’m really proud of how much progress you’ve made. It’s not easy to open yourself up again.”
“What about you? Have you learned to open up again?” You asked.
“Well, I’ve always been a little more open than you,” he teased and you rolled your eyes at him with a smile. “But yeah, I’ve kind of been seeing someone.”
“Really?” You heaved, sliding closer, “tell me all about her!”
He chuckled, flipping the hair from his eyes, “Her name is Nicole, she’s actually another teacher at my school, teaches AP English.”
“Did Mrs. Lin leave?”
“She retired, yeah. Last year, actually. Nicole and I only started seeing each other about 2 weeks ago, but so far I think there’s a lot of potential; she’s really cool.”
“I’m excited for you. Really. At least one of us has got the romance department a little more figured out.”
“It’ll be the two of us soon enough. If not Taehyung, it’ll be someone else. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t date, though. You know that, right?”
You smiled, grabbing his shoulder in a tight squeeze. “I know, Ben. Thank you so much for listening. Seriously. Your support makes me feel like I can really do this.”
“You definitely can.” He said. “By the way, mom wanted me to remind you that you still need to open your presents from Christmas.”
“Oh!” You gasped, bouncing from your seat on his bed, “I totally forgot about that. Let’s go downstairs!”
****
Later that evening, after you’d had dinner and cleaned the dishes, you were sat in front of the fireplace in your pajamas, book in hand. Paul was watching tv, flipping casually through channels and you could hear your mom and Ben playing chess in the office. You coveted days like these, where you could sleep in and lounge lazily around the house. No responsibilities, just relaxation.
The downtime gave you the opportunity to think, too. Mostly right now you were thinking about how you missed Paris. All the time in the world and you wouldn’t have been able to explore all the things you’d wanted to. Every cute café, shoved in a small hole in the wall with beautiful vibrant wisteria and vines of honeysuckle hanging from the trellises. You wish you could have seen them in bloom, but even in winter it was an enchanting sight.
You missed Danielle a lot, she’d provided you with a lot of insight and a great friendship. You wished you could have brought her back home with you. She wasn’t that much older than you, but she’d taught you so much.
“Would you be willing to help me in the store tomorrow?” Paul asked, turning his gaze from the tv to rest on you.
“You need me to man the cash register?” You asked, looking up at him. “Yeah, the customers are in need of a pretty face, not just my gruff mug.” He chuckled and you smiled.
“Sure, I’ve got some time to spare. What time?”
He flipped to a rerun of an old army show, dropping the controller in his lap, brow wrinkled. “Not a super long time, I know it’s your break right now. How about from 11-3? That way I can get Bobby and I a good solid break.”
“Sounds great.” You nodded, flipping your book back open. “I’ve still got the shirt upstairs in my closet.”
“Great. Your brother is coming in tomorrow too, but he’ll be helping in the back with some heavy loading stuff so you may not even see him.”
“Is he going in at the same time as you?” You asked and he shook his head.
“No, he’s actually coming in at the same time as you so maybe you can drive in together.”
“Good. I’ll make him drive.” You grinned.
****
The drive to the store was slow in the snow, but the familiar roads and buildings were comforting in their nostalgia. The morning air was still and crisp, leaving a chill in the car that went sweeping into your bones.
Your breath fogged in front of you, condensation building on the window as you stared out. The streets were mostly empty, despite the hour, but as you made your way further into town the sidewalks became more crowded with people, snow trodden footsteps and the remnants of Christmas decorations.
Ben pulled into the parking lot of Paul’s garden and home store and locked the doors behind the two of you as you stepped, shivering into the mist covered afternoon. You could see a few customers inside, but it wasn’t overcrowded.
Moving inside, you shook the cold from your limbs, glancing around the room to find Paul. He stood at the opposite end of the store in the garden section, talking to a man over the top of a large potted gardenia. He waved at the two of you absently and you walked to the back of the store and into the employee break room, sliding your coat from your shoulders and onto the wall hanger by the door.
“I’m gonna go grab us some aprons.” Ben said, walking into the office and closing the door behind him to get to the shelf.
The break room was just as you remembered it. Two brown, leather couches, one with a poorly patched hole in the center of one of its seats, an old, wooden table by the sink with a small white fridge and a couple counter tops. There was a small tv sat on a table across from the couches, so you sat down, fidgeting idly with the sleeve of your uniform shirt while you waited for your brother to return.
“OK,” Ben sighed, making his way back out of the office and closing the door behind him, two grey aprons clutched in one hand. He chucked one into your waiting lap and you stood, fastening it around your waist and behind your back. “Let’s go see where he wants us.”
By the time you returned to the front, Bobby was already ringing up the gardenia customer and Paul was making his way over to the two of you. “Thanks again for coming in.” He smiled, clapping your brother on the shoulder and you waved him off.
“We’re happy to help.” You replied.
“I’m gonna go ahead and send Bobby on break and get you set up on register, Y/N. Ben, I’ve got a few things I need your help with. When Bobby comes back, I’ll go on break and send him your way, Ben.”
“Sounds good.” Ben nodded.
“Morning,” Bobby greeted you from his position at the register and you grinned. He was a shorter, slightly stouter man, just a few years older than you, with short, black hair, a rounded nose, and glasses. He was quiet and a little awkward, but a genuinely nice guy and someone you considered a good friend here in the city.
“How are you?” You greeted as he stepped from the register to allow your uncle to log his information in.
Bobby shrugged, “can’t complain. Making money to pay for my exorbitant lifestyle, the usual.”
You laughed, patting his arm and stepping back as your uncle made his way passed. “You’ll have to keep me updated on that.”
Bobby made his way back to the break room and Ben and your stepdad walked towards the back of the store, disappearing around the corner. The store wasn’t very busy right now so you grabbed a Home and Garden magazine from beside you and began to flip through to occupy your time.
Shortly before noon, the bell to the shop chimed and you glanced up as Anna, Sarah, and their mom walked through the door.
“Y/N!” Sarah squealed, running towards you, Anna hot on her tail and you rounded the register to give them both a hug. “Oh my gosh, we weren’t sure if you’d be here today but tagged along with our mom just in case.”
“Seems like it was a good idea.” Their mom said from behind and you chuckled, giving her a quick hug.
“Yeah, I just got back the other day and Paul asked Ben and I to come in and help today.”
“Did you buy a beret like we told you to?” Anna asked and you grinned, rolling your eyes at her.
“Of course, I did. Just wait until you see all the things I got! I’m so excited to show you everything.”
The twins mother made her way to the plant section of the store and you glanced after her, before turning your attention back to your friends. “Well we should hang out before we head back to school. I know you haven’t spent a lot of time with your family, but we’ve spent more than enough with ours.” Sarah teased and Anna nodded vigorously.
“Sure, you guys know you’re welcome to come over anytime. Why don’t you come over later after dinner and we can watch a movie or something?”
“And by watch a movie you mean gossip about Paris while a movie plays in the background?” Anna said, eyebrows wagging and you laughed.
“Pretty much.”
After the twins and their mother had bought what they needed and left the store with see you soon’s, you returned to a sluggish afternoon of the occasional customer question and watching the snow drifts outside the front window.
Every once in a while, you’d see Ben and Paul lugging heavy plants to the front of the store and Ben would make funny faces about the pain of heavy labor and you’d smile and laugh, waving him away. By the time both Bobby and Paul had taken their breaks and returned, you were ready to get some food of your own so with quick thank you’s from Paul and no problem’s from you and your brother, you both made your way back into the snow, bundled and warm, to head home for food and relaxation.
You helped your mother make lunch, before the three of you retired to the living room to watch old reruns of The Nanny and eat. It was so nice to be home and have no responsibilities. Even though you missed Paris and you even missed school, there was no way you were going to squander the opportunity to sit around and do absolutely nothing important.
After dinner, Anna and Sarah came over in their dad’s brand-new Christmas present, a beautiful cherry red Camaro and you remarked on the amazing feat it must have been to convince him to let them drive it.
Sarah chuckled, “well since we only live a block away, he was willing to allow it. You know if you lived any further, we would have been in the Toyota.”
“This is true.” You nodded your commiseration before grinning and looking at your friends with wiggling eyebrows. “Wanna see my clothing loot?”
“That should not be a question!” Anna insisted and the three of you ran giggling up the stairs into your room.
You grabbed your suitcase from the floor, flopping it across the middle of your bed and flipping open the top. “You still haven’t unpacked?” Anna asked, sitting at the foot of your bed, one foot tucked into the seat of her jeans.
You shrugged, “let me live my lazy life.” Pulling some of the clothes from your bag, you began modeling for your friends who indulged you happily with oo’s and aw’s and exclamations of jealousy that made you giddy with excitement.
“What about your beret?” Anna asked and you smiled, reaching into your closet and putting on the new coat and hat to show them.
“I’m so jealous!” Sarah cried, jumping from the bed and coming to your side to stroke the fabric of your coat. “Feels like wool.”
“It’s a synthetic wool, actually, and it’s so warm!” You gushed. “Also, check out the hat. Do you approve?”
“Very much so!” Anna chuckled, running her finger tips across the brim of your hat. “I hope you brought us souvenirs.”
“What do you take me for?” You asked, spinning back to your suitcase and pulling out two bags filled with small little goodies and a beret each for your two closest friends who squealed words of thanks and dug through their bags excitedly.
“Did you get something for Charlotte?” Sarah asked, looking up at you and you nodded, holding another bag up from your suitcase.
“Duh.”
The three of you spent the rest of the night filling each other in about your separate breaks and the presents you’d gotten and you gushed all about Danielle and Marie and Paris until you were blue in the face and they were green with envy and then you sat down to a movie with popcorn and more conversation until their dad was finally calling them back home and you were climbing back into bed, excited to enjoy the rest of your winter break before returning back to school for the spring semester.
*****
Thank you sooo much for being so patient and waiting for this 42 page beauty. I’m really happy with this chapter and I hope you love it. Please let me know what you think! I’m desperate for your thoughts and opinions. Haha. We’re almost there, only 3 more chapters!
Chapter 12
Chapter 14
Copyright © 2017 by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.
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