#weird feeling that i should know what theyre saying | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lucabyte · 10 hours ago

Note

Hey I know this is kinda stupid but ur little joke comics of siffrin having a bald spot being treated like any other sorta funny thing siffrin has going on is genuinely really affirming as a trans man who might lose his hair one day

ehh its not stupid at all. ill pull back the curtain and say that oh yeah these jokes are supposed to be lighthearted and affirming in that way so like. walk w me here

cuz thats the thing this joke works regardless of headcanon for siffrin/your own gender presentation bc like. transmasc, amab nb, transfem, intersex, hell even just pick-a-rando-off-the-street cis people worry abt going bald because it's just like. a distinct possibility. whether your testosterone is home grown or store bought its just one of the things that it can and may do.

obviously, there's ways to mitigate hair loss. transmascs especially have really good resource gathering for this, it seems? and it's very good to have the options to control your body and how you want to appear.

but that's the thing. weird uncontrollable shit happening to your body as you age is The Great Equalizer. And we'd probably all be better off if we didn't treat it so weirdly or like such a taboo. So making jokes about it the same way you would like, your back getting bad or joints getting creaky normalises it. Because it is normal, and there should be some humour in all shared experience !!!

making this joke abt Siffrin in particular is also not done without intentionality, also. like 1, as you said they already have so much shit going on that adding more is just funny to start with, 2. it makes logical sense with how stressed and deceptively old they are and 3. theyre like. a twink. they aren't particularly masculine (especially owing to the fact that, canonically, they don't consider themselves a man.) and people really do not see balding as anything other than hyper-masculine. so it can cause a lot of perception issues if you want to be seen as... literally anything else. ie. genderless, feminine, or just femme? So it stops people from depicting characters who aren't hyper masculine as balding at all/worse still makes people irl feel ashamed if they Are balding but don't want to be that level of masc. But it shouldn't be that way, because it's not like your genetic response to T (and stress..) cares what either society presently thinks Or what your personal sense of style is. And y'know. just in general. it's cruel to be judgemental about things beyond ones control.

... This is a lot of words for "thank god. im so glad drawing this twink balding is making people feel better because i hope everyone knows i'm not making this joke in meanspiritedness" now go forth and like. be fine with being bald someday. it happens to the best of us

#everyone be nice to each other about things beyond their reasonable control forever please especially appearence #but also making jokes about things is good to let the pressure off and make it okay to discuss them. it turns out you're hardly alone!#there's a number of ppl on the other posts where ive made this joke who say the same thing abt it making them feel better about starting #to go bald at an early age/not in a way that's super condusive to their gender. there's so many of you!!! un-taboo this taboo!!! its fine!!#lucabytetalks

28 notes · View notes

asakurahaos · 2 years ago

Text

im gonna start learning korean bc im so annoyed i can only enjoy the lyrics when i translate them into english >:(

#also idk how to explain it but when i hear korean it seems like its a language i already know so #it literally confuses me when i hear it #with other foreign languages my brain is like 'oh that sure is a language.. theyre obv saying sth but 🤷🏻‍♀️'#and with korean its like idk... you know how you read a sentence in a language you speak but you have to read it multiple times for it to #make sense #its like that w korean - i hear something and i feel the need to relisten to it to understand it #my brain registers korean as a language i know even tho i dont speak a word of it #im so confused.. i wanna know how/why thats happening #i didnt have any contact w korean prior to a few yrs ago when yt steered me to korean creators - and ever since the first vid ive had the #weird feeling that i should know what theyre saying

3 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 9 months ago

Text

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

43 notes · View notes

moeblob · 10 months ago

Text

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

25 notes · View notes

squirmydonnie · 2 days ago

Text

CW/TW: sexual content, negative

I don't even actually think these bad things about myself.

But I know other people do. I can't tell the seriousness of it though.

Sometimes it seems like

But other times it seems like it's only a joke. And maybe they'd brush by it. Though probably not.

It's something people rag on others about.

So I don't know.

I just don't like to be judged. But what can I do about that at this point.

No matter how much I've tried make myself disappear or be unnoticed in different ways. It really doesn't matter.

That's not even what I want anymore.

I don't know,

being exposed to phonographic content when young will most likely effect you in the same ways as other people. Even if the content is different.

It really doesn't matter

#i just want to know id be loved anyway. but i can't be sure.#and there's no way id be seen the same #ive thought of explaining it before #and ive gotten a few points. and theyre good #i just know if its worth all the effort #or even worth worrying about #i think its something ill have to wait and see about #it isn't shameful to me. but it is to everyone else #that makes it hard. i don't thinks its wrong. or even bad.#i do wonder why i would be cursed like this. i didn't choose it #i could say what it is. and that its addictive. and no matter the content. its the same affect.#at the same time. i don't blame the people who ended up bringing it on me #i think im much better off keeping the content secret. saying what it is doesn't benefit me #knowing that makes me feel better. and lot less guilty.#in a weird way it helps me i turn 17 this year. then after that i turn 18. i should have my pet snails by then. at least snails

3 notes · View notes

rearranging-deck-chairs · 6 months ago

Text

once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier

13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone

13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"

then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them

11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision

the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be

and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it

and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first

in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice

#if i could figure out plot i'd write it but it's really not my forte #it's been 4 years and im still turning this era every which way trying to wring a bit of catharsis out of it #i think it would be nice esp bc like i said i think the doctor mainly is a children's advocate #and i think it would be nice if like. that got reflected back to them #like.......i cant articulate this clearly #like in the end nobody even knows abt the timeless child right?#it's just twisted stories in villains' hands and we dont even have a name #i imagine the doctor seeing ryan and yaz as the people they are when they meet #and in return they can see her and the child she was later on #nobody fucking knows!#and im not saying like oh she should tell everyone the trauma or whatever #i just feel like #who honoured this child?#who saw her?#i feel like theres a kind of opportunity there if ryan and yaz are still younger #also they were 19 in canon they shouldnt have been so fucking put together!#they were way too emotionally stable #even for 19 #but i think it'd be more fun if they are 16 and truly In The Midst Of The Horrors #also i want to see thasmin play out with yaz barely 20 and their dynamic built on this.......teenage solidarity i guess #like im sure ryan would be the one to figure it out but how does he react?#does he point it out in front of the two of them or does he ask yaz once when theyre alone #like in a scene at the end of 12x7 like 'so do you like her or smth?'#and shes like 'no! what? no!'#and hes like 'are you sure. like im not homophobic it's fine but'#and shes like 'w aht the fuck are you talking about' bc shes actually like what the fuck is he talking abt #but then later in bed shes like 'wait..........wait' and has a crisis abt it #(this doesnt improve the weird irritability re: the doctor. and then she Dies. and that does NOT improve the weird irritability)#and then if ryan stops travellin gin revolution then flux starts with yaz being aware shes in love with the doctor #and the doctor probably too. does this change things??

6 notes · View notes

phagodyke · 2 months ago

Text

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting #ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions #but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door #and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it #but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true #and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever #like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never #bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly #why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes #like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act #like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME #uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others #like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied #even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries #i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre #constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please #snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is #frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh #okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating #.vent #im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism #and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated #anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower

4 notes · View notes

skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago

Text

I forget how comfortable my life is living w just my parents, in terms of being comfortably out, then have to listen to my brother go on a homophobic rant, that I can't tell if its a joke or not, but was really hurtful :)

#twas very uncomfortable to sit thru #the words 'what if i told you i was gay' on my tongue 'am i disgusting?'#i dont understand straight white boys #you do all this gay chicken w your friends. say all this weird stuff that makes me 🤨#(<- ex. joking abt sucking dick bcs theyre eating a 12 inch hot dog. circa cota gp lol)#but then say these horribly homophobic things #i dont understand men #i can never tell if hes joking when he says things like this #bcs he likes to be argumentative and inflammatory. and knows we'll get pissed at him for this #so its like. are you saying this bcs you truly believe it or are you just being irritating. or both #he randomly said smth abt how the romans and greeks did gross gay things #and im like. should this not make you think 'wow homosexuality has existed for centuries. ig its pretty natural!!'#<- thats always my takeaway. theres been records of it since basically the beginning of recorded history #and i look at it and feel comforted :] this has always been a thing and always will be thing #and then people like him basterdize it completely misinterpret it ;;;;#i like him but when hes back living w us I remember how horrible his views and opinions are #ugh i live w my parents and theyre so accepting abt it and willing to learn more and change #and then i remember how fucking shit the rest of my family is #well ah dw i got back at him by calling him gay sjkfkglg #catie.rambling.txt

7 notes · View notes

paging-possum · 9 months ago

Text

Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

#my art #gore #organs #its 2am so not a lot of this is going to be very coherent but this song makes me feel a lot of things about it all #like. its the Expectations #the expectation that im going to date men and the expectation that im going to date at all have always felt equally stifling #theres that feeling of not trying hard enough or not realizing it at first or trying to lean into what you're told you should feel #and having it not pay off time and time again and wishing you could just make it work #because everyone else around you has it just fine and you dont get why you're struggling with it so much #THERE ARE MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO IS WHAT IM SAYING #like obviously figuring out aromanticism is especially weird because its a lack of something BUT THEYRE PRETTY SIMILAR #realizing I dont want to date anyone mirrors realizing I didn't like boys but like. idk man its worse sometimes?#I wouldn't trade it for the world it means a lot to me but its almost like people go out of their way not to understand it sometimes #at the end of the day I am the you in that song #it was a very very long road to being okay with never falling in love because that was something I wanted for a very very long time #at the end of the day I will never have to be someones wife and I think its better that way #but its also hard not to get jealous sometimes #like I know its irrational I know I get physically ill at just the thought of being asked out but like #sometimes ill see my friends with their girlfriends and ill feel like clawing my own chest out with want #but also if anyone asks me out I will have to dig myself into a pit and never come out. I think.#I want to be with women but I dont want to Be With Women if that makes sense #its another layer of difficulty that I dont think I'll ever be able to get past #I feel like at this point I should just be trying to conditioning myself out of any form of desire because its just not an option for me #which definitely isn't true and like chappell roan says. you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.#but its also so tiring to have to sit here with the feeling and feel bad for having the feeling.#I dont know #I think if I felt a little more or a little less I’d be fine but I’m stuck in the middle #it feels very weird talking about this openly but also its very difficult to talk about with friends because most of them dont get it #anyways something something Josies monologue from bottoms #im going to bed

3 notes · View notes

sonknuxadow · 1 year ago

Text

sorry maybe im reaching but am i the only one who thinks it's kinda weird that so many people are saying that sonic is a s/ilvaze shipper because of what he said to them in the most recent idw issue. you know the part where he was comparing them to him and tails. his brother.

#its like people saw ''you two are great together'' and then didnt read the rest of it ?#in the actual comic it was like. Wow you guys are such a good team ! you remind me of me and tails :)#but then i come on here and people are interpreting it as him saying You guys should kiss. Right now.#and yeah sonic was mostly just saying that as a team theyre like sonic and tails. not that their relationship is exactly the same #but it still feels kinda weird to interpret ''you remind me of me and my brother'' as ''you guys should date''#regardless of what he actually Meant by the comparison. you know.#idk. maybe its just me looking into it too much because i havent really seen anybody else say this #idw sonic spoilers

18 notes · View notes

jattendschaton · 2 years ago

Text

Guessing game: which is more likely, an ex I havent spoken to in three years listing me as a reference for a government job (we did work in a lab together for 6 months) or someone trying to scam me somehow by pretending to be calling references ??

#bean talks #i dont really understand how exactly this would be a scam #because like. obviously I’m not going to give them my personal info??#so outside of them knowing my phone number is accurate odk what info they would get from this #but also i havent talked to this person in 3+ years and they never told me they listed me as a reference??#so that seems. odd. he Really did not like me after we stopped seeing each other so. this feels like an odd choice #realistically i should just try to contact him and Ask if he listed me as a reference but honestly #i do not want to alfjabdhajdhd #and i wouldnt want to not respond because i wouldnt want to jeopardize his chances of getting the job #but also like this is just weird??#where can i go to verify a reference investigator is who they say they are #like how there are places to verify someone who says theyre a PI is in fact a PI #where is the database for this

8 notes · View notes

transbee · 1 year ago

Text

having did and being online in any capacity is so fucking exhausting because you literally can't go anywhere without seeing the most heinous takes about your existence or validity it's like. can we be normal. can we please be normal and Chill for like two seconds.