#everyone be nice to each other about things beyond their reasonable control forever please especially appearence | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

captnjacksparrow · 4 years ago

Note

if you had to rank your fav naruto characters how would it go? love your blog btw!!

Hmmm... Complicated ask, anon.😂

[My personal life would be splashed here and there. Please bear with me]

Before 5 months, if you asked me about Naruto, my response would be ‘What the fuck is that?’. I absolutely had no idea such a treasure existed. For me, it started out like a blockbuster movie for the sheer variety of fights and the resulting emotions it brought within me.

However, there was a point I stopped and thought, ‘Wait a fucking second. This resembles my family dynamics. This person is speaking the exact same lines I spoke to my parents few years ago. This person’s situation resembles mine. Did this creator a time traveler?’. Naruto is the only piece of media that gave me such feel. Am not even exaggerating, believe me.

I really liked so many characters very much but am going to try my best to list just 10.

The only characters I hate in this series are Danzo, Sakura and Hinata in no particular order. Meaning, I absolutely cannot see any positives in them. They are crassy, cringey and completely detestable.

FAVOURITE NARUTO CHARACTERS

10. Killer Bee

HaHaHa :-) Just seeing this character makes me smile and light-hearted.

It’s a pity that he is the only character who don’t belong to Konoha in my Top 10 rankings who was developed well apart from Gaara.

I loved him from Frame 1 onwards and I sincerely wished Team Taka should be packed up with their ass beaten up mercilessly. And that’s what happened.

Despite being a Jinchurikki, he never bothered to mind his surroundings and filled his heart with love from his over protective Brother alone was nice to watch.

He makes a great Tag Partner with Naruto next to Sasuke. No doubt.

The way Killer Bee treated Team Taka like some annoying flies and his cool and don’t care attitude was top notch. It’s not just with Sasuke, Bee treated Naruto with the same IDGAF attitude at first.

Best Moments:

Lariat punch to Sasuke (TBH, Sasuke deserved it. LOL)

Blasted off every member of Team Taka like a doll

His entire conversation and fight sequence with Kisame (Their banters and exchanges are way too hilarious)

His dynamics with his Elder Brother (God!!!! Whenever Raikage gives him an Iron Claw.... What a hilarious duo!!!!)

9. Hatake Kakashi

Kakashi was my most favourite character when I started the series for simply being ultra-cool with the way he conducted the Bell-Test and taught a valuable lesson for those bratty kids in Team 7 called ‘Team Work’.

Best Moments:

Kakashi vs Obito Hand-to-Hand Combat (the best in the series)

Kakashi in the Gaara retrieval arc (His fight with Itachi & Deidara gave a good start to the shippuden series. His Mangekyou reveal was surprising).

Kakashi & Guy teaming up with Naruto to reveal Obito in a twisty and tragic way. (Kakashi couldn’t handle the truth at all and neither did I)

Kakashi vs Zabuza (That’s when I realized that the series was getting real serious)

8. Jiraiya

Jiraiya was my next favourite to Kakashi during my Part 1 days. His open perversion and his entire dynamics with Naruto was one of the best things during the Chunin Exams arc. Taught Naruto about Chakra Control and about the way of a shinobi by just enduring. Naruto follows this even today.

Best Moments:

Kuchiyose No Jutsu training (Man, I never expected him to push Naruto off the cliff)

Rasengan Training (One of the best arcs in part 1 and it was soo satisfying to see Naruto punching his first Rasengan on Kabuto, He also acted like a quasi parent to Naruto... heartwarming)

Jiraiya Vs Six paths of Pain ( 6 vs 1 was always doomed but still he had the guts of a shinobi and plunged ahead)

7. Uchiha Madara

Geez. What is there to not like him??

Everything he did was absolutely wrong ever since he broke up with Hashirama in a romantic way much similar to how couples break up in my country.

I am an Uchiha. You are a Senju. I wish it had been different.

This roughly translates to how 75% of lovers break up and marry someone else from their own clan in my state. (Duh!!!)

I am from XXX clan, you are from XXX clan. So we can’t love each other and my parents won’t accept this relationship. So let’s break up.

Alright, my first shipping couple in this series is HashiMada for this exact reason. (I started shipping SNS only after episode 478).

Just like Hashirama, Madara had an extensive build up right from episode 1 where Kurama compares Sasuke with Madara. And flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi spiked my curiosity and I wanted to see his face so badly ever since.

But the moment he landed gracefully like a diva in episode 321.... Woaahhhh!!!! He literally danced in the battlefield and ate up 100′s of guys with just a fucking Sharingan.

Best Moments:

Going Shirtless before 1000′s of people with Hashirama’s face, no less (Well, I literally went heart-eyed for 5 minutes. Sorry Sasuke, your ancester was way much sexier than you in the Orochimaru hideout and beats you by a million points).

Screaming Hashirama’s name like a cockatoo for 300 times even till the very end (Sorry Naruto, your obsession towards Sasuke for about 6 arcs is pale in comparison to Madara’s obsession which was established in just 6 or 7 episodes.)

I have 25 clones now. Do you want me to put Susanoo or not? You can’t answer. The answer is yes. (Man, his I don’t give a fuck attitude is just an alien level thing)

Openly admitting Only Hashirama Can Beat Me (Say what you will about Sasuke, Madara has no qualms about accepting his inferiority in terms of power. An absolute Straight Forward diva-queen)

Awakening Sharingan for breaking up with his ‘friend’ rather than for his 3 dead brothers. (Geez, Poor Soul. He is the forefather of a Romantic Uchiha. That romantic blood still flows in Sasuke)

6. Senju Hashirama

Man, I would have placed him somewhere in top 5 if only he was introduced early or had more scenes. I started watching Naruto only because of this very name. There is a local podcaster in my state who goes under the alias of Senju Hashirama and in his podcasts, he hinted about this character and how he was inspired by his ideals. I just googled and saw that this character belonged to Naruto series and I considered watching it. Here I am, making analysis on that very series.

There was this excellent build up for him right when we got introduced to Captain Yamato. He was constantly referred in flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi especially.

But the moment he was reanimated again..... Geez..... It was an hilarious ride all throughout. Out of all the flashbacks we got from this series, Founders Era flashback was my absolute favourite.

From where I come from, we are still under the stupid influence of Clan infrastructure and are not growing up in many aspects like people in western countries do. For me, I hope, one day, someone like Senju Hashirama appears in our state and change our lives for better by uniting all clans as one and treats everyone equally without the shitty favouritism for their own children, friends, parents, siblings.

That’s why this dialogue struck a thunder in my heart

“Be they a friend.... Be they a sibling.... Be it even my own child. I will not forgive anyone who threatens the village.”

Because the clan leaders in our place are absolutely selfish, trash bastards who serves their own needs with no regards for other people from other clans. For a person like me, Hashirama is not just a fictional hero, he is someone who many aspires to become. No wonder that podcaster chose this name as his alias.

He rightfully deserved the title ‘God of Shinobi’. And no one can surpass him, not even Naruto.

Best Moments:

Wood Style vs Eternal Mangekyou sharingan + Kurama powered Madara (He just beats Madara’s ass by a wide margin. This shows he was a whole fucking different level than Naruto + Sasuke combined. In terms of strength, nobody surpassed him YET. Sorry Naruto and Sasuke, you guys are no match even now with your Rinnegan and Kurama lost forever).

His entire banters with Madara (ROFLLLL. Without him, it would have been just another lifeless arc.)

5. Senju Tobirama

Hmmm, let me tell you something about him.

First off, he is not a racist or fascist as many hardcore Sasuke fanatics claims. He is one of the best hokages according to me. He is abso-fucking-lutely practical, rational, logical and holds no grudge. And Sasuke resembles Tobirama with all these characteristics as compared to soft and naive Naruto. If only he had more screen time, he would be easily in my top 3.

Just because he didn’t lick the boots of Uchiha (many people’s favorite clan or may I say the only clan that was given any shit about in this series), it doesn’t make him a racist or fascist.

No, he never persecuted the Uchihas. Danzo, the crass bastard, driven off the Uchihas only after the Kyuubi incident. It was explicitly mentioned in the databook and was clearly explained in the series.

He literally gave the highest position in the village for the entire clan. That is, a military power inside a military village. ‘Shinobi who can cause crimes can only be stopped by shinobi who are even better’. In my state, if a powerful clan decided to persecute another clan, they simply start by cutting off basic amenities like Water and Electricity. Compared to what I’ve seen, Tobirama did nothing but given the Uchihas, the highest position in their village.

Orochimaru only said giving such a power made them conceited (arrogant). Tobirama had a trusted subordinate called Kagami, an Uchiha in his team. He suggested Kabuto to help Sasuke and even teleported him on his request. He even spited Madara for killing Sasuke, an Uchiha. He openly claimed Uchiha clan exceeds Senju in terms of Love. He openly appreciated Itachi and Kagami as someone who sees beyond their clan. In what world, would a racist or fascist do all this for a clan he hates???

Yes, he was cautious of Sasuke at first because he saw him with Orochimaru and even went full-on battle mode because of Sasuke’s carefree threat to destroy the village. But once he decided to go to the battlefield to fight Madara, he simply forgot everything that happened before and started to work with him as a comrade, and even helped him twice. In which world, a racist or fascist behave this way?

Believe me, a person like me who was grown with these clan politics surely can say who is a fascist. He was not. He was just cautious of them because of their ability to attain superpowers with just emotions alone. Let me ask you all this, ‘Would you be okay with people getting crazy powers whenever they are depressed?’. Being cautious is not racism. It really disrespects people who faced real oppression under fascism.

What Madara and Danzo did was a classical example of fascism.

And No, Izuna didn’t die only because of Tobirama. He died because Madara was too arrogant to instigate war with Senju clan. And this was way before forming Konoha. If Tobirama killed Izuna after the alliance between Uchiha and Senju, I would agree that he was a racist. Izuna lost his life just like any other Uchiha and Senju soldiers in that battlefield.

Just because he shitted your beloved ‘Sasuke-Kun’ doesn’t mean he is a racist too. Tobirama saw Sasuke along with that scoundrel Orochimaru who once used this very two hokages to destroy the very village they strived hard to create and protect. What will you do, if you were in his place?? Please don’t lie and say ‘I wouldn’t be judgemental’.

And Imagine you are Tobirama, Sasuke is threatening to commit genocide against the entire village who had no idea about this coup detat instead of going against those old hags. Will you sit quiet as a Hokage??

He was the first person to suggest his brother, Itama, that Revenge against Uchihas are futile. All we need is an agreement to make truce. That gave the idea for Hashirama to pursue his dream. And Tobirama was happy to follow that dream and very supportive.

It’s because of all these reasons I placed him above Senju Hashirama.

Best Moments:

Amazing power display against Sasuke & Co with just an index finger (It was a pleasure to see everyone’s face trembling with mild sweat including Sasuke).

Acted as a decoy to save his young subordinates. (The way he sacrificed his life saying young wills of fire must be protected is just Woow!! I wish his subordinates listened to his words and passed the mantle to the younger ones rather than playing game at such an old age and screwed up many lives. Pfft!!!)

Any time he says ‘Shut Up’ to Hashirama (ROFL)

His absolute ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude to Naruto, Sasuke, Hashirama, Minato and Madara (He trolled them all mercilessly and I love it)

4. Senju Tsunade

It hurts me to say that Tsunade is the only female character in my list because every other female characters were written in a much more piss poorly way. Only Konan came close to Tsunade but her role was very short.

Despite her character’s purpose revolved around another male character (Dan) and a blatant objectification of her breasts, I liked everything about her other than those mentioned above.

She is the Second Best Hokage who took Konoha right after the destruction made by Orochimaru, excellently handled the aftermath by making friendly relations with Suna (Sand village), provided her best medical support to Konoha in the Pain Arc and successfully handled the fourth Shinobi world war.

She is such a badass who developed her own original jutsu called Byakugou no Jutsu, which can heal herself.

She is just way too amazing and it’s a pity that we got very less scenes in Shippuden.

Best Moments:

Took 25+ stabs from Madara’s Susanoo like a piece of cake (Man, I simply couldn’t describe that scene. All the other Kages were shocked and even Madara too)

Lifted her advisors like a cabbage sack (Those fucking old hags deserved it. Those shits should’ve died)

Her index finger flick assault on Naruto (Aww, Naruto was definitely bratty in his first meeting and Tsunade didn’t hold back at all)

Played Orochimaru like a basketball (In that same arc, she fought Orochimaru mercilessly like a devil left and right. Someone who claimed to have surpassed Tsunade never even dared to fight Orochimaru’s student and crying for his attention after just receiving one stab from Madara. Just saying)

3. Uzumaki Naruto

Naruto is the titular character and your emotions evolve along with him. He surely deserves a spot in Top 3. The only reason I didn’t place Naruto even more higher is because he didn’t experience something very important which many characters in this list faced. That is, Losing a loved one before his eyes. Every villain in this series became what they are because they lost someone important before their eyes like Nagato, Obito. (Nope, I don’t count Neji as his loved one). I think this tests the mettle of any character and Naruto failed to experience this. The only person he ever lost was Jiraiya and that too from off-screen. That’s why I felt his journey to his dreams seemed little easier compared to the rest of the characters.

His best block of episodes will always be the part 1 Episode 1, 2, 3. Episode 1 is the character defining episode for Naruto and what he learned there will be applied everywhere till the very end of the series. He learned 3 things

Forgiveness, Empathy and Acceptance

Talk-No-Jutsu

Kage Bunshin no Jutsu

From then on, this boy wins many friends to his side, not only from Konoha but from other villages too and even made them to acknowledge his strength only through his sheer hard work.

However, there is this person, whose acknowledgement he wants the most. That person is his most important bond along with Iruka Sensei. He is none other than Sasuke. One day, Sasuke left him alone for some unavoidable reason at the end of part 1 which left a huge scar in him and he vows to bring him back to the place where he belongs. That becomes his ultimate goal rather than becoming an Hokage.

The way he goes to any extent to protect the people he cares about is just simply entertaining to watch.

Every time he makes an heroic entry to save the day was never boring, not once.

Best Moments:

Sobbing from his heart after hearing Iruka Sensei acknowledging him (It just makes me feel heavy for no reason. The anime team did an awesome job to capture his emotions convincingly)

Awakening Kyuubi Mode for the first time after seeing Sasuke die in his arms (Man, out of all the collective hatred he got from the villagers, this moment affected him a lot speaks volumes)

Punching Neji from the underground to win the Chunin exams (God, I honestly believed Naruto lost but he just surprised us heavily from nowhere. And that failure speech was just pure bliss to watch even today)

Pain Vs Naruto (One of the best arc for Naruto. Because unlike other arcs, where Naruto fought with a team, this arc he was all alone fighting a person with Rinnegan. Be it the exuberant landing from the frogs with a dramatic kabuki music, creating multi-step attacks, coming up with novel solution in that difficult situation, finally ending the conflict without killing the enemy, becoming an hero. Superb journey. The only thing I didn’t like in that arc is some shitty selfish proposal. PUKE!!)

Bearing the burdens of his most important person and die along with him (This boy always shouts he will never die until he becomes an Hokage. But for Sasuke, he was ready to die along with him in order to not leave him alone proves how much he loves him. This shows his emotional maturity rather than shouting at Sasuke like he always did before which never reached his ears. This time it did)

Final Good Bye to Minato (Honestly, I was bawling just like Naruto in that scene no matter how many times I watch it. It started out slow but as he speaks more and more, he simply couldn’t hold back and wept a sea of tears 😭😭😭)

2. Uchiha Sasuke

One of the well written characters in this series, with all the flaws and positive stuffs which makes him more of an Anti-Hero. He always subverts my preformed opinions and never ceased to surprise me.

Despite being aloof and cold, his warmer side will always be exposed towards Naruto. This is evident by many things he had done for Naruto which he don’t have to or no reason to. Starting right from roasting Sakura, offering lunch, asking for tips, enquiring about breakfast, protecting him many times and dying for Naruto.

Why I placed him above Naruto is because of his unavoidable decision to tread in a complicated dark path primarily due to the trauma he carried and was stirred up again by collective factors such as Orochimaru’s cursed seal, Itachi’s arrival and Naruto’s growth. Compared to Sasuke, Naruto had an easier path because he never saw anyone die before his eyes and hence he don’t carry any trauma which can divert his path.

Even after watching his entire clan and family members murdered before his eyes at an age 8, he managed to pull himself and never snapped out like many other good characters does. But the moment when he found out that Itachi was good all along, he simply couldn’t tolerate the truth and gave himself to Vengeance. Because, he loved his brother more than he hated him all these years. This shows he loved his brother more than his parents. His resolve to destroy Konoha was perfectly understandable. But is it good? Nope. He can kill Danzo and those old hags but killing other people was never justifiable.

But still, his resolve to have his vengeance was diverted by Naruto and weakened by Itachi, at some point. So, he decided to know the truth and when he heard it, he understood the Hokages also sacrificed many precious things to protect this village just like his Brother Itachi. He understood the mistakes of his clan and decided to protect the village which he swore to destroy. [Many Sasuke fanatics think that he succumbed to the Government and Kishi wrote Sasuke to bootlick them. Their idea was to tackle genocide with another genocide. What a stupid idea!!!!]

And No, I don’t consider him trying to kill Sakura, Karin and Kakashi as his bad moments (though I feel bad for Karin). For the simple reason being, he became a monster by losing himself in the darkness who lost the rationality to differentiate friends from foes. Much similar to how Naruto lost himself to Kyuubi’s hatred against Orochimaru and in Pain Arc. It’s so hypocritical to ignore Naruto and accuse Sasuke here. Plus, Sakura had no business to be there otherwise Sasuke would not have tried to kill her.

But does it mean Sasuke did nothing wrong???

Nope.

He definitely shouldn’t have joined Akatsuki and hunted Killer Bee like an animal. Because, he knew that Tobi was the one who helped Itachi massacre the clan. When fighting Itachi he specifically vowed to kill Madara (Tobi). On top of that, Itachi passed on Amaterasu in his eyes specifically to stay away from Tobi. Why did he ally with him? Plus, Sasuke was one of the few characters who was exposed to the name ‘Akatsuki’ in part 1 itself. He clearly knew that this organization targets Naruto, his closest bond. Why did he join there? This is where the stupid part of Sasuke came out. I was grunting... ‘Oii Where did that clever Sasuke, who faced 1000 soldiers without killing any of them, went??’.

And his plan for Revolution???? I thought it would be reasonable. But his vision was eerily similar to Danzo’s vision. Grrr..... Danzo also wanted to create his ideal village by destroying the current Hokage. He wanted to unite the Five Village and put himself on top of everyone as evident from the Kage Summit arc.

I appreciate him that he finally adopted the Will of Fire, by wanting to protect the village at all costs just like Itachi and Hashirama did. But his methods are not very democratic. Plus, he wanted to do it alone. I was screaming at him... ‘Grrr, Sasuke, did you listen to Itachi at all???. He failed because he did everything alone. Why can’t you understand????’ This is also another instance, Sasuke’s stupidity glanced out.

I am happy Naruto knocked some sense into him by telling him not to do it alone but together.

Many fanatics also ask, ‘What did Sasuke do wrong to atone for his sins at the end?’.

I was like ‘Reallly????’

He joined Akatsuki, an organization which terrorized all the 5 villages and he hunted someone like an international criminal.

He spoiled the Kage Summit and attacked Raikage who lost his arm because of him. I know what happened over there is not Sasuke’s fault. But these are the kages who was loved by many people in their own villages. How can the world forget it and simply let him go?

It’s exactly because of all those lovely stuffs he did in Part 1 and all these mistakes he did in Part 2 but willing to correct his mistakes by sharing the burdens of his other half in the end made him more interesting, complicated and exciting and that’s why I love this character.

I also have a personal bias to love this character sooo much because of the character on top of my list.

Best Moments:

Defending Naruto before Sakura (Awww!!! Such a good boy he was. Eventhough I thought he was a typical arrogant K-Drama hero, he just subverted my opinion in that one scene. I always have a thing for people who stands up for someone even though they don’t have to. This is where I started to like Sasuke)

My body moved on its own. (Is there anything that trumps this scene in terms of emotions and love in this series?. This moment is where I understood the depth of Sasuke’s emotions towards Naruto).

What is a Clan? What is a Village? What is a Shinobi? (I was really hoping for Sasuke to question himself something similar to this. Because he was so self-absorbed in his hatred and failed to look outside him ever since he left the village. It was so gratifying that he did that)

Killing Orochimaru (I always thought Sasuke will kill him only after he tries to take over the body. Never imagined that he will strike the snake first)

Killing Danzo (Man, what an amazing battle!!!. It was so gratifying to see such a crass bastard die many times over and over).

His dramatic confession through his monologue (After the mystery of Who is this Tobi, Sasuke’s obsession towards Naruto remained a mystery for me. Why did he listen to Naruto under the bridge? Why did he protected Naruto in the War? I got the answer only after this confession. It was so heartwarming to see this mellow side of Sasuke)

1. Uchiha Itachi

I could write pages about him. The foremost reason I like Itachi and earns the top spot in my rankings is because he shockingly resembled me in many ways. As I already said, I come from a place where clan politics plays a major role and when I see Sasuke’s flashback in part 1, I was simply dumbstruck by such a detailed similarities.

Elder child of the family - ✅

Have an adorable younger sister who loves me more than my parents - ✅

Same age gap (5 years) with my sister as Itachi and Sasuke - ✅

Parents paying total attention on me while ignoring my sister completely - ✅

Parents constantly comparing my achievements with my sister - ✅

A sister who bear hugged me every time I entered the home after returning from my school - ✅

Despite my mom being a teacher, my sister always prefers me to teach her stuffs as she considers me to be way too better than my mom - ✅

Love my sister more than my parents - ✅

Clan-Obsessed parents - ✅

Used me as a tool for the benefit of the clan - ✅

Sending another person from my clan to spy on me - ✅

Strained relationship with my parents - ✅

Disgusted with my clan - ✅

Most importantly, this dialogue from part 1 episode 129,

Clan? Clan?

Obsessed with the organization, Obsessed with the clan, Obsessed with the name, that’s merely the detestable action that restrict yourself.

I have given up all hope in this worthless clan

Because, people obsess themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important.

A real change cannot occur under restraints and controls

I confronted my parents with the exact same dialogue (almost 98% similar) in my own native language some years ago.

I didn’t even know the existence of Naruto series at that time. I was simply shell-shocked by all these similarities with this character.

And Yes, The moment I heard these dialogues, I knew Itachi, was a good guy, who had a very strong reason for his actions and I instantly knew Sasuke’s revenge will not bear him any happiness.

It is exactly because of all these striking similarities of myself with Itachi, and my lil’l sister with Sasuke, my family dynamics with the Uchiha family.... I could understand the magnitude of Sasuke’s love towards Itachi.

And precisely because of that, I could understand Sasuke’s love towards Naruto is not fucking ‘brotherly’ one but something that leans towards Attraction.

No wonder, Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s care.

Anyways to speak objectively,

Itachi is an extremely self-sacrificial person whose life is full of pain and miseries but never blames it on the world unlike other Uchiha members like Madara, Obito and Sasuke to an extent.

He did things considering the bigger picture which never benefitted himself in anyway and was willing to go to any extent even at the expense of his own family and his brother’s happiness. That is, Uchiha Clan Massacre and Joining Akatsuki. None of this benefitted him in anyways but he did it anyway, for the village of Konoha.

His ideals are shockingly similar to Hashirama, Which Sasuke pointed this out and Hashirama acknowledged that Itachi was a better shinobi than he was. ❤️❤️❤️

Now, does this means I support Uchiha clan massacre?

No way. Even Itachi didn’t.

This massacre happened because of the huge clusterfuck from Hiruzen’s incompetence, Danzo’s paranoid arrogance, Uchiha clan’s devious plan to over throw the government by force rather than approaching it in a peaceful way, say, a peace talk or a protest.

All these people acted on their own self-interest. Itachi and Shisui caught in their whirlpool, bear their burdens and paid for it with their life. Sasuke suffered for it.

But, it’s not the only reason I love this character. It’s because, the moment he decided to massacre everyone, he marked his own death by the hands of his beloved brother. I love people who owns up their mistakes and face the consequences rather than making excuses (even though it’s not entirely his mistake).

Itachi is also the only character in this series who realized his failures on his own without anyone’s interference or Naruto’s Talk-No-Jutsu.

And he apologized for everything he did to Sasuke.

Again, some hardcore Sasuke fanatics criticize/hate him for torturing their poor ‘Sasuke-Kun’ with his Tsukuyomi. I was like ‘Hmmm...What?’.

First off, Itachi apologized to Sasuke for not thinking out from his point of view and also for not telling him the truth earlier.

Second off, Sasuke never even blamed Itachi for anything (even he didn’t hold him for killing their parents). If Sasuke himself, forgiven Itachi... Why are his fans being so rabid?

Third off, for all of his supposed ‘crimes’, he paid for it by dying as a disgraceful Madman rather than a Hero who really saved the village. He is someone who should be celebrated like Naruto but instead died proudly as a Traitor of Konoha.

All in all, One of the wonderfully written character I have ever seen in the media.

Best Moments:

Itachi vs Sasuke (That battle was a pure brilliance and highly emotional especially after knowing the truth. When Sasuke released his Kirin, Itachi showed off his ultimate armour Susanoo like a badass. Seeing Susanoo for the first time gave me chills. No, Sasuke didn’t kill him. Itachi died on his own)

Itachi vs Orochimaru (Man, Itachi may look mellow but when it comes to Orochimaru he is a pure Sass. He screwed that snake up both the times by a wide margin. It seems Uchiha brothers like to fuck up Orochimaru, LOL)

Talk-No-Jutsu’ing Naruto (Geez, Naruto was being completely bratty and was full of saviour complex like he was going to bear everyone’s hatred by himself. I was almost annoyed. Thanks to Itachi, he realised. Probably he is the only character to shut Naruto using his own jutsu)

Izanami’ing Kabuto (Other than Naruto, he is the only character to go out of his way to empathize with a villain and put extreme effort to change him. I think this is why Sasuke loves Naruto, for seeing these similarities??? ).

Goodbye to Sasuke (The first time when he said ‘Forgive me, Sasuke. This is the last’ by poking his forehead and finally closing the distance by butting with Sasuke’s head softly saying ‘I will love you always’.... It always evokes uncontrollable tears in me, no matter how many times I watch it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

HONOURABLE MENTION

Uchiha Obito

God, Am such a sucker for Uchiha guys individually, though collectively as a clan they fucked up big time. I simply couldn’t find the place for him in the top 10. He is a classic example of What Naruto will be like if he becomes a villain?

However, all those horrible stuffs he did just for a girl whom he had a crush on which was never reciprocated seems childish. That’s why I couldn’t put him in Top 10.

And his understandable but weird obsession on Naruto was always enjoyable to watch.

One cute thing I liked about him was, whatever criminal stuffs he may have done, he was never a cheapskate though. He had every chance to take back Kakashi’s Sharingan to activate his own Susanoo. But he never even thought of such an idea. He was a bad guy. But a good friend, no matter what.

Pure Baby!!! But lost his way!!!

Best Moments:

Importance of Team Work (’In the ninja world, Those who break the rules are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum’. This very legacy he left to Kakashi came to defeat him later. And Naruto follows this motto even today)

Sacrificing his Sharingan (’I am giving you my Sharingan. No matter what the villagers say, you are a great Jonin. Please take it’. Awww!!! Obito. He left his Sharingan which helped Kakashi to complete a jutsu called ‘Chidori’, which is a go-to jutsu of Sasuke)

Thanks for the ask, anon. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. ❤️

#ask #itachi #itachi uchiha #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #naruto #naruto uzumaki #hashirama #tobirama #hashirama senju #tobirama senju #madara uchiha #madara #killer bee #kakashi #jiraiya #tsunade #obito #obito uchiha

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years ago

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How Do I Get Over You?

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: It’s so fucking sad guys let me just tell you that

Word count: 6.5K

Summary: Hey guys! So I was driving the other day and “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo came on and at first, I didn’t understand the hype but then I kept listening to it and this imagine popped in to my mind and now I’m sad. I’m almost done with part 3 of my fuckboy series so please stay tuned and thank you all for your patience. By the way, one in a million is a fucking BOP I’m so proud of my boy :(((((((( Mark Tuan deserves the universe. Okay happy reading (or should I say have fun crying)

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

“P stands for?”

“Park.”

“Good. R stands for—“

“Reverse.”

“Good. N stands for—“

“Babe. We’ve been over this about ten times in the last week. I know the controls already. I just want to drive.”

You had gotten your permit a little over two weeks ago and you were more than excited to finally get on the road. You’ve been wanting to drive since the time you were old enough to understand what driving was. Watching your parents turn the steering wheel, press on the gas, accelerate and park—it just seemed like so much fun.

All of your favorite characters in the television shows you enjoyed watching knew how to drive—or at least that’s what you assumed when you were still young. Once you hit your pre-teen years, you understood that they were just pretending to drive—that it was just “television magic” that gave the illusion of them driving a moving vehicle but that didn’t stop you from wanting to learn. Your boyfriend Mark had gotten his license when he was only sixteen years old.

Technically, it was considered an intermediate license which meant there were a lot of rules he had to follow. He wasn’t allowed to drive without someone over twenty one years old, there could only be three passengers in the car at a time and he had a curfew of 10 o’clock p.m. As much as you begged your parents to allow you to start studying for your permit back when you were sixteen, they wanted you to focus on finishing high school before taking on such a big responsibility that came with being a licensed driver.

That didn’t stop your boyfriend from taking you out against your parent’s will and teaching you everything he knew about driving. Mark was almost five years older than you. You first met the older boy when you were in the second grade and he was right about to move up to the seventh grade. He was your oldest brother’s best friend at the time; the two of them were like two peas in a pod.

Where one went, the other one followed closely behind. If one joined a sport, so did the other. They were like magnets—always needed to be together. It was like that up until their sophomore year in high school. Isn’t wasn’t as though they had bad blood between them. Sometimes friends just grow distant.

Mark joined the football team whereas your brother was more of a soccer kind of guy. Their schedules began to collide a lot and it was actually pretty sad. Everyone who knew of the two of them just assumed that they were going to be friends forever, but it was only natural for both Mark your brother to go their separate ways.

Deep down, you’ve always harbored feelings for Mark. It was inevitable; you saw him almost every single day for the last six years. Although he could be a pain in the ass sometimes; not allowing you to join him and your brother as they would play video games, taking the last cookie from the cookie jar, making fun of your drawings in order to get under your skin—there was a point where you ended up hating him because you felt as though he had it out for you. But as the years went by and the two of you grew older, he became more kind-hearted and gentle around you.

Whenever he’d come over, he’d ask you how school was going, what you were interested in, if you needed help on any of your assignments and he would even buy you some snacks before heading over to your house. It didn’t help that he became more and more handsome with age—driving you to the brink of insanity each and every time you’d have to see him. When he and your older brother nonverbally ended their friendship, you were crushed.

Sure, you felt really bad watching the two of them over the years growing such a bond that you assumed would last forever only to decide that they were too busy to spend any time together. But you felt even worse knowing that Mark was no longer going to be in your life. When you turned fourteen and moved on to high school, you decided to join the track team because your parents claimed that they wanted you to have a good high school experience.

The first week of practice was actually pretty fun—albeit a little bit strenuous and tiring, but it was enjoyable. Little did you know that following week, your coach would bring in two previous students to help assist him in bringing your team to success. If you thought Mark was extremely good looking already, you were in for quite the surprise seeing him for the first time in two years since the end of his friendship with your brother.

Time was always so good to him; in fact, he looked much better now than he did when he was sixteen. Braces, bad haircut and the pitchy voice no longer existed. His voice was much deeper now, he was grazing six feet, his cheekbones were more prominent and his features were seemingly more sharper. He was just as excited to see you as you were to see him.

Maybe you imagined it in your mind, but deep down, you couldn’t stop smiling at the thought of getting to spend time with Mark again. You didn’t think much about being around him again—he was an assistant coach. He was there solely to help you with training and you were sure he probably saw you as his childhood best friend’s silly younger sister. However, you were quick to pick up on how Mark seemed to give you most of his time and attention.

He’d give your teammates excuses as to why he couldn’t help them or why he needed to coach you the most. At first, you assumed he was just trying to be nice because the two of you somewhat had a past together, but as the days went by and your conversations went beyond track and field—you were confident that his friendliness had nothing to do with the fact that you were well acquainted with one another.

Your friendship with Mark only got more and more tight knit to the point where you found yourself hanging out with him outside of school. It didn’t take long for your friendship to develop in to something more. Something beautiful—something, indescribable.

Seeing Mark again and spending majority of your days with him only brought back your feelings tenfold—especially because you were no longer a ten year old little girl anymore crushing on her brother’s best friend from a distance. You were old enough to understand what love was—or what you assumed was love and it didn’t take a genius to know that what you felt for Mark was more than just a small crush.

Since he was so much older than you, you pushed back the thought of him reciprocating your same feelings. He was a college student. He was devastatingly handsome, intelligent, outgoing, athletic, hardworking and very kindhearted. There must have been so many girls at his campus who threw themselves at him—he was a literal Greek God.

Guys like Mark were never single and although you didn’t consider yourself close enough to know what his exact type was, so you were confused and shocked yet over the moon when he stole a quick kiss from your lips and confessed his feelings for you while the two of you were out eating ice cream. You didn’t think there was anything wrong with the age difference—Mark was practically an older brother to you and you trusted him with your entire being.

However, you decided to keep him a secret in the fear that some people wouldn’t be so accepting of your relationship. Dating Mark was a dream. For the last three years, he’s shown you nothing but so much love, affection, adoration and happiness. He taught you how to love yourself—he took his time learning every little thing about you.

Mark Tuan was the actual love of your life and you didn’t care if you were still too young to know what love was. You’ve known it since you were six years old that the older boy was the person you wanted to give your entire being to. You wanted Mark for as long as you could possibly have him for.

He was very good in showing you and telling you on a daily basis exactly how much you meant to him and how he’s never been so in love with someone the way he he was with you. It all felt too good to be true. To love him and be loved by him—God it was such a wonderful feeling.

Before Mark, your life was so colorless—so dull. Waking up in the morning felt like a chore. You had to motivation to really do anything besides your responsibilities and you just assumed that it came with being a teenager. But when he stumbled in to your life again, it’s like something awakened inside of you. You’ve never felt more alive.

He gave you a reason to roll out of bed. He gave you the motivation to want to go out and go on adventures. To enjoy life and it’s many wonders. He made you the happiest girl on earth and you were never going to take his presence and his position in your life for granted.

“I know silly girl, and you will. I just want to make sure you know everything by heart. As much as I seem like an easy instructor, and how big of a pushover I am whenever it comes to you, I want you to be safe baby. The road is a dangerous place—“

“Yeah I know, I mean—you’re on it all the time—“

“Hey! I am an amazing driver. I’m a natural y/n. I was born to drive. Some people just have it in them and others—well others take a while to learn.”

You had a feeling he was hinting towards you, so you leaned over to playfully shove him but his reflexes were much quicker than yours. He placed a sloppy kiss on your lips before pulling away; earning himself a soft groan.

“Okay, press on the brake and then lift the lever to put it in drive—good. Just like that. Now slowly, press on the gas. Good job baby. Now—you can speed up a little bit faster—I said a little bit—y/n!”

You failed to notice the speed bump until you and your boyfriend practically flew forward. Maybe driving wasn’t as fun as you assumed it would be and by the look of nervousness on his face, you could tell Mark was soon regretting that he offered to teach you in the first place.

A small pout soon rose on your face; sure this was the first time you were actually driving the car and you weren’t meant to be a professional on your first lesson. But you still felt a wave of disappointment since you couldn’t even do something so simple as to driving at a slow pace. How did your boyfriend make it seem like it was the easiest thing on earth to do?

Most of the time, he’d only use one hand to steer the wheel and he’d always have his knee propped up—making it seem effortless. He was right though; there were some things he was extremely talented with that you practically suck at and there were some activities such as ice skating and baking that Mark could never succeed no matter how hard he tried.

You acted out of instinct; hitting the steering wheel in anger and abruptly putting the car in park. One of the traits you could care less about was your stubbornness. If something didn’t go your way, you were quick to grow angry and give up on whatever it was entirely. That’s just the kind of person you were and sometimes, you’d try to work on improving yourself because you hating lashing out on anyone for no reason.

Especially your boyfriend. Luckily Mark was very understanding and patient whenever you grew frustrated with something and he was very good with calming you down and making you feel better. Which is why it came as no surprise to feel one of his hands graze against your thigh as the other gently wrapped around your neck. His thumb glided against your nape and he began to leave gentle kisses along your cheek. Only then did you realize you were tearing up and it made you feel so pathetic.

“Baby.”

You didn’t want to look at him; you were sure that if you were to see the look of remorse in his eyes that you would cry like a baby and that was the last thing either of you needed at the moment. You just wanted to give up and have him take you back home. It was pointless.

Now you understood why your parents were so against teaching you how to drive. You weren’t even 18 yet. What did you know about adulting and everything that came with being an adult? Why were you trying so hard to rush your age? Why did you want to mature so quickly?

There was so much you had yet to experience—driving could come later. However, you felt like in order to be on the same level as your boyfriend, you needed to know how to drive. It was always him coming to pick you up from school or your house and he was always the one dropping you off.

Although he’s never complained about it once, nor has he asked you to pay for his gas or anything like that, you couldn’t help but feel like such a burden and you wanted to do this so that you could take care of him as much as he was with you.

He’d come drive twenty minutes to your house in the middle of the night if you couldn’t fall asleep and you were well aware there was a big chance he was tired as hell. But he came to you every single time. Sure, he’d fall asleep not to long upon arrival—yet you’d feel so safe and warm just having him around and being wrapped in his embrace.

Sometimes, tension would rise at your house; whether your parents would argue with each other, or scold you for something so minuscule—all you wanted to do was run to your boyfriend and find solace in him. Since Mark was in college though, you knew he had a lot on his plate and you didn’t want to add on to his stress by worrying him about problems you were old enough to handle on your own. He had to get irritated with you every now and then—he was only human.

Having your girlfriend call you at the most randomest times to come pick her up or to console her as she cried had to be burdensome. Just like right now, he was probably annoyed that you only drove one foot and ended up slamming on the breaks in his car. You weren’t too sure how cars worked, but the way you were so rough with the controls probably wasn’t a good thing to do.

“Hey, why are you crying?”

You continued to sit there, forcing your attention on the dashboard and hoping that he would just drop it. However, you’ve known the older boy long enough to realize that he wasn’t going to stop prying at you until you told him what was wrong. He allowed you to let it all out—you weren’t sobbing, but a few tears fell from your cheeks as you began to heaven silently.

Mark ran his fingers through your hair and tried to pull you towards him, but decided to let you be until you were ready to find comfort in him. If Mark was anything, it was considerate. You were confident that he was upset seeing you cry—especially because he must have known you were disappointed in yourself. Your boyfriend was very vocal about how much he despised hearing you degrade yourself and talk negative about your abilities because in his eyes, you were the most wonderful human being to walk this earth.

Nobody was perfect; but to him, you came really close. After a couple of moments, your cries slowly dissipated and to your confusion, he got out of the passenger seat. Right as the question of where he was going fell from your lips, he opened the driver’s door and motioned for you to get up. You were about to get out of the car completely in attempts to head to the passenger side; maybe you weren’t ready to physically learn to drive just yet.

Maybe he was going to teach you a little more from the driver’s manual and from his personal experience before allowing you back in the driver’s seat and honestly, you couldn’t blame him. He was already doing so much for you; allowing you to drive his car and putting not only his and your lives at risk, but the tip top shape of his truck and even his clean driving record since you weren’t under his insurance.

However, before you could do anything, you were being pulled on top of his lap as you felt his mouth smash up against yours. It took you a while to process the entire situation going on in front of you—kissing Mark had to be your favorite past time. His lips were your favorite drug and you could wholeheartedly confess that you were addicted.

You’d find any and every reason to kiss him. Even when you were in places that you should have refrained from any kind of skin ship with your boyfriend, you couldn’t go too long without feeling his soft lips meld perfectly with yours. Mark’s lips were one of your favorite features on him. Not only were the prettiest shade of pink, but they were plump and heart shaped.

When you finally came to your senses, you deepened the kiss and allowed him to shove his tongue inside of your mouth. You could feel him literally take your breath away the longer his mouth was on yours but you weren’t complaining. You would rather spend the rest of the day kissing him and even a little more than to attempt driving again. To your dismay, he hesitantly pulled away—making it obvious that he was fine continuing what the two of you were doing, but the urge to tell you what was on his mind was a little more overbearing.

“Mm—Mark—“

“If you were crying because you were upset with yourself over what just happened, then I need you to know that it’s okay baby. Please understand that it’s a learning process. I’m sorry if I seemed mad or if I raised my voice—I really didn’t mean to I just—I don’t know. I really don’t. Whether it’s because the thought of you in any kind of danger scares the shit out of me or because I don’t want you to grow up just yet—I don’t know what came over me and I’m sorry. But don’t you dare for a second beat yourself up about this okay? I’m so fucking sorry y/n. I’m trying to be a good teacher for you and I know you want to hurry up and get your license which I promise, I will make sure you do. Don’t be too hard on yourself okay? I know, I probably didn’t make things any easier with how I reacted a few minutes ago but driving can be terrifying. Every single time I’m on the road, it may not seem like it but I’m nervous out of my mind especially when you’re in the car with me. The thought of hurting you or being the reason why something bad happens to you drives me crazy. I’m so protective over you, now I can see why your parents are so against you driving. Ah, I’m bad at this.”

His words pulled tightly on your heartstrings like they never failed to do whenever he showed you or went in to explicit detail about how you meant the entire world to him. Mark wasn’t the kind of guy who act all big and intimidating—like he didn’t have feelings. Most of his friends tried to pretend as though they were manly and didn’t care about anyone but themselves. Your boyfriend on the other hand was the complete opposite. Mark was excited to show you off to each and every single person in his life or that the two of you would encounter. He didn’t care if it was considered “feminine” to have and show emotions.

He’d cry so easily at sad movies, or ads about sick children and animals in shelters. He’d cry if life could get a little too much for him to handle and if anything, it made him so much more of a man than those who tried so hard to conceal their inner feelings. This wasn’t the first time he confessed something so heartfelt to you, it’s happened on multiple occasions and it just really solidified the love he held for you.

Not once in your three years of dating did you ever question Mark’s feelings for you and you could only pray that you’ve shown him generously the exact same amount of infatuation that he’s never failed to give you. You repositioned your body so that you were face to face with him and wrapped your arms around his neck, placing a delicate kiss on his jaw and giving him a soft smile.

God, what did you do to deserve someone so selfless, so caring, so gentle and kindhearted, someone who gave you the world on a silver platter and treated you as if you were the most perfect little flower? He gave you a pout, obviously upset with the idea of you being sad and you found yourself bringing your hands up to either side of his face and lifting his lips up in to a smile.

“Don’t be sorry babe. If anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I kept begging you to take me out to teach me and even if you were hesitant, which you have your reasons to, you never said no because you know how much this means to me and how eager I am to finally start driving. I—I know you’ll probably think I’m an idiot for thinking like this and you’ve never done anything or aid anything to make me feel like this, but I consider myself such a burden to you—don’t look at me like that. I’m so grateful you are the way you are and I’m truly so blessed to call you my boyfriend. I’m just saying that if it were anyone else, they’d probably grow frustrated having to drive so much for me and because of me. I’m sure you’ve spent at least $1000 on gas money from having to drop me off and pick me up. I know—you do it because you love me, because you want to see me and spend time with me and because you’d do anything for me—but I know I tend to reach out to you at all the inconvenient times. I want to be able to do something for you for once. You said so yourself, you can’t wait till I started driving so that I can drive up to your house whenever you want to see me. Thank you for trying, and thank you for being so patient with me. I want to make you proud Mark. I’m already so much younger than you. Your friends probably wonder why you’re stuck dating a child. I’m not old enough to drink or go out to bars and clubs. I can’t even buy nail polish remover or Benadryl on my own. Im selfish. My desire to hurry up and get on the road goes beyond being able to drive. I want to be a girlfriend you can proudly show off to everyone—“

“Do I not do that enough already? Did I say something or did something to make you feel like our age difference or the fact that you’re only seventeen and I’m twenty-three is a problem to me? Because it’s not babe. Sometimes I forget that you’re still so young because you act so mature and you have such a good head on your shoulders. If it wasn’t for your cute little baby face, I would assume you were around my age. I don’t give a shot about what anyone has to say or think about our relationship. The only people who’s opinions matter to me is yours and mine. No. You’re not a burden at all. Ever. So take that stupid thought out of your head. Yes, I can’t wait for you to finally get your license but it’s not for the reasons you think. If you ever want to run away from home, I don’t want you having to wait almost half an hour for me to come get you. Once you start working, I don’t want you to catch the bus or walk home if I or one of your family members are not able to pick you up. Your safety is my number one priority next to your happiness. We can still keep practicing if you want to baby, but don’t feel like you have to drive if you’re doing it for me. Do it for yourself. I love you more than you will ever be able to fathom okay? You’re it for me. You’re my person—my soulmate. The only person I see myself spending my entire life with. I hope you know that I’m going to be the one who teaches our kids how to drive one day. I don’t need them crashing or totaling the car because you failed to teach them right—hey! What? I’m just being honest baby you’re lucky you’re cute. But seriously though y/n, don’t you ever for even just a second doubt your place in my life and what you mean to me.”

This had to be the coldest winter yet in California. You were currently in your car and the heater was on high, but you were freezing. You didn’t know what led you to sneaking out of your house at two in the morning; you couldn’t find it in yourself to fall asleep.

These last few months, you developed insomnia. No matter how hard you tried; taking sleeping pills, mentally counting sheep, staring at the ceiling in the hopes that your eyelids would close sooner or later, nothing seemed to work. After throwing on a jacket and some sweatpants, you tiptoed downstairs towards the living room and tried your very best to quietly close the door—not wanting to wake up your parents.

There was so much animosity between you and them that you blamed heavily on yourself. You only ever talked to them if they approached you first and even then, it was nothing more than a few sentences. As soon as you got in to your car that they got as a congratulations present for getting your license a little over two weeks ago, you started to drive with no destination in mind.

All you wanted to do was get as far away from reality as possible. You decided that you’d go wherever the road took you. Thankfully, since it was so early in the morning, there was hardly anyone on the road which meant you didn’t have to put too much effort in to driving. Your entire body felt numb—and it wasn’t because of the freezing weather.

You were so deep in to your thoughts, not paying any mind to your surroundings that you failed to notice where you ended up heading to. This road was so familiar; you’ve been down it more than a hundred times in the past few years. It was imprinted on both your mind and your heart.

Of course your subconscious would lead you here. It’s been a while since you’ve last took a trip down this street—you no longer had a reason to since that heartbreaking night a little over six months ago. That night had to be the worst in your entire eighteen years of your existence. All of a sudden, the painful memories of Mark leaving you alone in your backyard right after he ended your four year relationship as if it was the easiest thing to do came rushing back like a slap to the face.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this anymore.

He asked if he could come over and you didn’t think much of it. He spent most of his time over at your house only because the two of you had more privacy since it was just you and your parents whereas all three of his siblings and their families all lived at home.

When he arrived, you were quick to pick up on the fact that he seemed tense; as if something was wrong. You didn’t think much of it, maybe he had a hard day at work or school. If only you knew then what you knew now, you would have approached the situation much more differently.

As you tried to reach out for his hand, he abruptly yanked it away and that’s when red flags began to go off in your head. Did you do something wrong? Why was he visibly angry? What could have happened that made him so—so indignant? It’s as if something had possessed him; you’ve never seen him this distressed before in your many years of knowing him and it worried you.

So many negative thoughts began piling up and your head began to hurt. He walked over to the swing set your parents set up for you and your siblings and took a seat. You were about to ask him why he was acting so agitated when he beat you to it. It’s been six months, but you can still physically feel the pain in your chest to this day. His words replayed every single day as if they were taunting you; they were a constant reminder that he was no longer in your life.

That he was no longer your person—the love of your life. Everything he said to you, all the promises for the future was a lie.

I’m breaking up with you.

Your mind drew a blank; you couldn’t process the thought of no longer having him as your boyfriend. You remember asking why—you wanted to beg him, to tell him that you were willing to change whatever it was about yourself that he fell out of love with. You would have done anything to get him to stay. Everything hurt and you just wanted to collapse. It’s as if time stopped.

He refused to look at you—his vision was set to the ground, kicking at the dirt. There were so many questions that you wanted to ask him, so many things you wanted to say but nothing came out other than why.

When did he fall out of love with you? When did he realize you were no longer the person he saw himself spending forever with? Where did it all go wrong? Everything was just fine the day before. The two of you were cuddling up on his bed, watching some movies on Netflix.

He dropped you back to your house earlier that morning, kissed you passionately and told you that he loved you. What happened in the few hours that he was away at school that made him decide to do the unthinkable and break up with you? It was in that moment where all your insecurities about being too young, too innocent and inexperienced—too immature and not enough for him in so many aspects.

Your worst nightmares came true; he finally came to the realization that he could get a woman his age; someone much more successful, so much prettier, funnier, kinder—he was in his mid-twenties and you were just a teenager in high school. You were holding him back from so much. It was finally catching up to him. He was a grown man; taking care of his younger girlfriend shouldn’t even have to be his responsibility.

I’m no longer happy in this relationship anymore.

Once those words fell from his lips, you sank to your knees and began to cry. You knew it was pathetic, but with the very small amount of strength you had left, you crawled over to him and wrapped your arms around his legs.

Please. Please don’t leave.

You could try to beg him as much as you possibly could—you could cry and plead for him to change his mind. This man opened your eyes to so much. He made you so happy. He taught you how to love yourself so that you could love him to the best of your ability.

Mark Tuan was the rightful owner of your heart. He was your best friend before he was your life partner. How were you supposed to live without him? When you pulled away to take a look at him, he was void of all facial expressions. Why was he taking this so well; he was breaking up with you, the person he claimed he couldn’t live without.

He seemed fine—okay even. It was as if these last four years the two of you spent together—the many laughs, kisses, stolen glances, late night drives, all nighters making promises for the future, they no longer meant anything to him. Where was the Mark who adored you and loved you with his entire physical being? The Mark who drove over to your house at three in the morning just because he missed you.

The same Mark who stayed on the phone with your mom for almost two hours learning how to make you your favorite dessert to surprise you for your anniversary? The same Mark that would put on and wear face masks with you—dance to the most eccentric songs.

Where was the Mark who claimed that you were the one who set the universe in to the sky and who was this monster that practically ripped your heart from out of your chest and stepped on it repeatedly? You didn’t know who this stranger was standing in front of you.

It’s for the best.

The tears were hot on your cheeks; images of the first time you went over to his house as his girlfriend and not his best friend’s little sister. He brought you outside to the sidewalk and kissed you sweetly—bringing some of your hair behind your ear and complimenting you on how beautiful you looked. It felt like years ago and now that he wasn’t in your life anymore, it was hard to believe that even happened.

All your memories with Mark felt like a fever dream. Did your relationship ever even happen? Was Mark really ever in your life? Was he ever really yours? You wished you pried at him more—you just needed closure.

These days, you were so bitter, so depressed and unhappy. When you got your license, you honestly couldn’t even care less. A part of you didn’t even want to take the test. It would only remind you of Mark and what was no longer. You had no motivation to continue to learn how to drive at all. Your whole reason to get your license no longer existed.

Stupid, stupid girl. Why did you give yourself completely to someone else? Why did you trust someone with your heart? Your fragile, delicate heart. But it was Mark. You wouldn’t have expected him to do something like that. You haven’t heard from him since he left you not too long after telling you that he was done. You cut him off completely—deleted his number and blocked him on all of your social media.

A part of you, no matter how much you tried to push the thought of it at the back of your mind—you believed that there was a chance he just so happened to find someone else in college. Someone who could provide for him in ways that you couldn’t. Mark could have claimed that he loved you and that there was nobody else for him, but only he knew what was best for him and sometimes the person we live isn’t the person we need. You sat outside of his house for what felt like hours.

You couldn’t leave. It wasn’t as if you expected anything to happen. He wasn’t going to come out running to you with open arms, telling you that he made a mistake and that he misses you so much. No. That wasn’t going to happen. Your sobs echoed throughout the car—surely he was moved on already. For all you knew, he probably didn’t even live there anymore. The thought of not meaning as much to him as he did with you plagued you every single day. How could he be so unphased? Did you really mean that little or even nothing to him?

After everything you’ve been through together, how was he not hurting? How did the break up not affect him at all? In attempts to take your mind off of him, you turned on the radio—but ultimately ended up regretting that you did so.

Your song—your song with Mark—began to blast through the speakers. It was already at the chorus, but that was the part Mark claimed reminded him of your relationship. Life was never on your side, what did you ever do to deserve so much misery? Why was your life slowly falling apart at the seams? It was so unfair.

After allowing yourself some time to stop crying completely, you shut off the radio and drove away—not being able to stay much longer. Before you actually drove off though, you began to type in a phone number, one you knew by heart. You knew it was wrong, but you didn’t even care. Whether or not you got a response, it didn’t matter. He needed to know what the breakup was doing to you.

You: Hey. Not that you care, but I finally got my driver’s license. I just thought I’d let you know. 2:34 A.M.

You: Oh by the way 2:35 A.M.

You: I still fucking love you. 2:45 A.M.

Read at 2:46 A.M.

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

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risingmoonyue · 5 years ago

Text

“Shinichi” Being “Conan”

(Consider this a part two to The “Conan is Shinichi” Issue~)

I think we can all agree that Shinichi kind of does a horrible job being Conan, especially at first. He gets a lot better, but he still tends to stick out. He acts younger than he is, he got himself stuck acting saccharine sweet towards any and all adults, and he tends to slip up, though he has gotten better as the manga and show goes on.

Which like, kudos to Kudo for putting together something plausible spur of the moment and sticking to it pretty well, but it could be better. What could he do? Well, let's look at his back story first.

“Conan” is a distant relative of Agasa and Yukiko who was sent out to live with Agasa after his parents got in an accident. Since Agasa couldn't take care of him at the time, he was trusted with the Mouris. Later, his parents are better but busy so he gets to stay longer.

So, let’s go through this one by one, then analyze his personality after.

XXX

“ ‘Conan’ is a distant relative of Agasa and Yukiko”

“Since Agasa couldn't take care of him at the time, he was trusted with the Mouris”

So, in their fabricated backstory, he is very, very distantly related to Agasa and Yukiko. Very distantly. Another thing I’ve seen around, and I’m not sure if it’s canon or just fanon since my (very) light research didn’t give me anything, but a lot of people say “Conan” is from America. So let’s just roll with it and assume that it is canon--and if it’s not, its a fun revision that can be used to help his backstory.

Making Conan a distant relative not only gives them a reason to know Conan beforehand (and a reason for Conan to trust him), but gives a reason for Conan to be put where he was. “Conan” knows Agasa, so he was sent there to stay. He also “knows” the Kudos, which means he “knows” Shinichi, which means he’s undoubtedly “heard” about Ran and the Mouri family by association, which gives a reason as to why Conan would so easily stay with their family--beyond, you know, being a “six” year old and actually being the sixteen year old best friend of Ran.

Now for the “America” portion of this. This excuse actually has the potential of being Conan’s saving grace in this whole backstory. While he could have been a primarily Japanese family, most kids in America either grow up mostly using English or Bilingual so they can translate for parents. Of course, we know his parent, both as Edogawa and Kudo probably know English, but the point is if he was really from America then he has a good excuse for the times he may slip up--being more familiar with people “Conan” doesn’t know and not using honorifics (“honorifics are weird, in America we just call each other by our first names or by Mr or Ms”), certain behaviors not usually associated with kids (“But everyone does that in America!”), being a nosy little snot (“In America people tell me being curious is a good thing”)--you know, stuff like that. Attribute strange behavior to a mixture of foreignness and being related to two very strange families.

Plus, if he was “raised” in America, he has an excuse to be fluent in English. It wouldn’t even matter if it was accented, because his family is clearly Japanese, and he’s fluent in that too. Saying things in English would just help affirm to other people (admittedly, probably not Ran when she’s in a suspicious mood) that Conan was not raised in Japan. His slips would be covered, and people don’t get confused why a six year old understands English, especially since he’s clearly a very smart boy, even when pretending to be a kid.

“his parents got in an accident”

“Later, his parents are better but busy so he gets to stay longer”

This was given as the reason for “Conan” originally being with Agasa, as well as the reason “Conan” didn’t recognize his mom--after the accident she plumped up and he didn’t recognize her. Of course, if you’ve seen that case, you know it was actually Yukiko pretending to be a BO member (which was a jerk move), but at the time he didn’t realize that, and acted accordingly. Not a whole lot to discuss about this excuse, it’s pretty solid beyond “Conan” never mentioning how he misses his parents, or wondering how they’re doing, even after his “mom” finally visits.

XXX

So now we move onto his personality.

“Conan” tends to act differently depending on who he’s with, which makes sense, because being in a deep cover role nonstop has to be tiring, especially to someone who very clearly isn’t an actor (in the conventional sense) and values truth and life as much as he does.

There are three main personalities we see: the first is the one he tends to show those older than his physical age, especially the ones who either don’t know how smart he is or are getting a little closer than Conan is really comfortable with. The second is the one he shows to the Detective Boys most often: sarcastic, tired, and that older brother who’s trying really, really hard to control these crazy kids he accidentally created, but they Do Not Listen. He still acts younger than his sixteen/seventeen, but he is much calmer and more mature than he is in the first personality. The third is when he just acts like himself. This one, his true personality for lack of better words, is the one that shows up when he either slips up (on a case or in some nostalgic moment usually) or is talking with someone “in the know,” like Haibara or Hattori. He also acts much closer to his third personality with Kaito KID.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move through this tangles web of Oof and see how “Shinichi” could act better as “Conan,” or at least excuse his behavior around people.

Obviously, it wouldn’t be good to keep the saccharine kiddy act forever. People are going to start realizing he acts different; the Detective Boys have, and it irks them. So if someone asks him about it, what could he say that excuses his two “public” personalities?

There are a few excuses I can think of:

One: “Conan” was nervous because he really wanted Ran and everyone else “Shinichi-niisan” told him about to like him so be acted really, really nice, and after a while it became habit because “he” was afraid they would be mad at him.

This one works because it takes childish insecurities and a childish idea mixed with childish immaturity to create a reason that could realistically have come from a kid, especially a kid around new people that they’ve heard a lot about from someone they “admire”. I’m not sure how many of you guys have been around kids, but let me just say: they come up with crazy ideas, and they can be pretty quick on the uptake. They are also unendingly stubborn when they want to be.

Two: “Conan” was treated weirdly by adults in “America” for being so smart, so he decided to hide it with excuses like “I saw it on TV” and acting really childish.

Like I said before, kids are more perceptive than we give them credit, so this is a reasonable excuse. If a kid decided all these adults were treating him weird because they acted more mature than other kids their age and because they were really smart, I really wouldn’t put it past a kid to try and act differently so they would be treated more like everyone else.

Three: Combine One and Two.

This is honestly the most plausible excuse for me, because it gives “Conan” a personal stake in trying to act childish (Ran and others liking him) and a reason for thinking the way “he” does (people treating him differently back in “America”). This excuse gives him an extrinsic motivation.

Extrinsic motivation is when someone is motivated by outside factors like money, requirements, or praise. This type of motivation is especially common in younger people, from kids to young adults, while intrinsic motivation (being motivated by internal factors like working because its fun) is more common in those in their late adulthood.

XXX

So, that’s all I’ve got for now. My hand is cramping, my brain is squeezed from writing three pages of amateur analysis, and five bucks says I’m going to look at this in five minutes and want to change or add something.

If there is anything I’ve forgotten, gotten wrong, or just something y’alls want me to discuss more about, let me know!

Actually, just let me know your thoughts in general. Please.

#dcmk #detective conan #edogawa conan #kudo shinichi #hiroshi agasa #kudo yukiko #mouri ran #haibara ai #hattori heiji #personality study #cover stories #analysis #less psych lingo this time #I sill see my psych student-ness in here #my writing #give me feedback please

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nala-kenmore · 4 years ago

Text

Three Become One

Once I’ve seen my brothers safely to the dart bay, and confirmed that they’re with Tiberius on Michael’s hive, I begin my investigation. First of all, I go to the lab that I’d taken Dora… except now I never had? There’s no broken syringe on the floor, and no chemicals have been taken out of the cupboards. Then I go to the cell where that blasted green pig is being kept. Not that I feel any contempt towards her, but the idea that the hybrids thought that was me?! I look around and don’t see the note I left for Dora anywhere. The pig looks very hungry, though, so I feed her some fruit from my bag. Poor thing, I’d heard that they’d culled the others, so she was the only one left… We’ll have to find another planet with wild boars and take her there, so she can have a new family.

Finally, I go to my chambers on this hive. The paper, ink and quill look like they haven’t been touched in a long time. So it must be true: in this universe, I’d never brought Dora here.

The wraith didn’t have gods, but for the first time I understood the human desire to pray and give thanks! This must be what they call a miracle! Except weren’t those only for the worthy? I didn’t feel worthy at all, just a mess… After what happened with Julian, I thought I was getting better, but then everything just keeps falling apart. If I hadn’t stopped myself at the last second with Dora… If something like this ever happens again… Perhaps that’s how I become worthy of this miracle, by taking the time for myself to straighten things out and make sure I never reach that point again.

I go to the throne room, take a seat and begin to meditate. This is something I should have done sooner, something I’ve needed to do since I got my memories back. Because how can I expect to make good decisions when it isn’t just me making them? It’s all of us…

I open my eyes, and find myself in a white void. Besides myself, there are three people present, and as usual, they’re arguing.

Child Nala stands on the left. She’s the age she was when she was stolen, ten years old. Even from this distance, I can feel her anger; no wonder the hybrids called her the little terror. But it comes from a justified place; her whole life was pulled out from under her feet for reasons that are beyond her, and it seems impossible to ever get back what she once had. With all her mind, she clings defiantly to the one little piece of that old life she has left, the only brother who never left her. Any threat to him, or to their connection, she would destroy without a second thought.

Teen Alana stands in the middle, aged fifteen. She has none of child Nala’s fire. That was stolen from her by Tiberius, as was almost everything else. The only thing that seems to remain is a deep fear that one wrong move could make her lose everything. Her brothers’ love, her entire life, seems conditional on doing everything right, so she desperately tries to prevent problems and keep her brothers happy. Nothing ever seems quite good enough for Tiberius’ standards, and he always tells her that being queen means that everything is her responsibility; any fault on the hive is ultimately a fault of hers. This only makes the anxiety worse, and there are many times when it overwhelms her completely, and all she can do is beg not to be kicked out or abandoned. She never knew why, but that was always the thing that scared her the most…

Adult Alana stands on the right, looking the same as she did the day she first met Hesperus and his team. She’s certainly the most stable out of the three, and probably the happiest. Stepping outside of her family’s grip and meeting others had taught her something the other two never knew: compassion for those who were different from her. She’d learned that all of the things she wanted: love, protection, happiness, were things that almost everyone else wanted too. She’d stopped trying to get those things from others, and instead tried to give them to the humans on her world who needed her.

None of the three have noticed my presence yet, so they continue with their debate.

(Child Nala): How could you stop us?! We were SO CLOSE!

(Adult Alana): Close to becoming a monster, you mean. You would have ruined Dora’s life!

(Child Nala): Well why should we have cared about Dora? If she cared about us, then she never would have suggested something that could have hurt Michael! I let you try to explain it to her, but she just didn’t get it! We had to do SOMETHING!

(Teen Alana): It was definitely a possibility that she’d lead a hybrid uprising! She was already bossing them about to go against Tiberius! And she said she wanted them to be more independent! That is… I mean… if that had gone badly, it would have been our fault! Michael would have hated us, especially after what happened with Julian! He would have kicked us out for sure if Dora did something too…

(Child Nala): Exactly! We’ve already done too much to hurt Michael. We let you win with Julian, so it’s only fair that we should have been the ones to decide what happened with Dora!

(Adult Alana): I thought we all agreed on Julian in the end?

(Child Nala): Well, yeah, he was a good little brother… But what about Dora? You ‘saved her’ and that only made things worse!

(Teen Alana): She definitely hated us after that! We’re so lucky Rodney appeared because I have no idea how we could have fixed things! It could have ruined everything! Maybe we’ve already ruined everything! All the bad things that have happened since we came back have been our fault…

(Child Nala): Er, no, everything’s Gwendolyn’s fault!

(Adult Alana): But at least it kept Dora safe. We need to do everything we can now to make it up to her in this universe.

(Child Nala): Well, I suppose she’s still being nice to us in this universe, she could still be our sister…

(Teen Alana): Or maybe we should just cut our losses and find somewhere else for her to go while she still likes us? Then she can still be happy, and we don’t have any friends on the ship anymore who could mess things up for us with Michael!

Child Nala screams “yes!” while adult Alana yells “no!”, and I decide it’s finally time to step in.

“You three really can never agree, can you?”

(Adult Alana): Oh, you’re here. I knew you would come sooner or later.

(Child Nala): And why’s that?

“Because I’m only one person. I can’t keep having three people trying to make decisions for me.”

(Child Nala): Oh, I see! Well, what are you waiting for, Nala! We have our name again now, so get rid of these two Alana losers and we can go back to being us again!

(Teen Alana): Please, please don’t kick me out! I’ll do better for you, I promise! Just don’t make me go away!

She starts crying, so I take her hand to reassure her. “I’m not getting rid of any of you. I’m just going to find a way to integrate us, to make us into one stable person. Because really, are any of you truly happy about how things have gone the past few days?”

They all look away and shake their heads, before child Nala speaks up again.

(Child Nala): Well, I want to go first! I’m the youngest and I’m the princess!

The other two don’t seem bothered, so I decide to start with her. I kneel down to her level to speak with her.

“What do you want from me, Nala?”

(Child Nala): Oh, finally you’re asking! But it’s super easy! I want my family back! I want us to be together again, forever and ever! None of them are ever allowed to leave! Especially Michael! He always has to be special to us, because-… because…

“Because he’s the only one who never left us?”

Child Nala actually starts crying.

(Child Nala): We’re the ones who left him! Twice now! I was screaming at you to go home the entire time! You have to make it up to him, Nala! You have to make sure he never feels abandoned or unloved, because then we’d really be a monster! Promise me, Nala! Promise me you’ll never betray him, no matter what! He’s always been there for us, always, and we owe him the same! So, if you promise, and you keep trying to get our brothers to join us, then… I guess I can leave you alone for the rest…

I consider her request. “I could never view him as the hero I used to, back when I was you. But he will always be special to me. I’d even give my life to save him, if that’s what it took. So yes, I promise you I’ll never betray him. And I’ll do my best to have us all be a family again.”

Child Nala hugs me.

(Child Nala): Thanks, Nala! You’re the best!

She breaks the hug, and I watch as she fades away. Next, I get up and go over to teen Alana. She looks really nervous, but then I suppose she always was.

(Teen Alana): This is so scary, Nala! We’re so close to getting what we want, but there are so many things outside of our control! How are we supposed to make sure that nothing else goes wrong? Or find a way to make all of our family happy, when they get upset with each other so easily? Maybe we should just go back to the Sanctuary, where everything was calm? Maybe they’d all be better without us anyway, and then we wouldn’t have to worry about hurting them anymore? Because I just can’t see how we’re going to get everything right when we’ve already gotten so many things wrong! But then I don’t want to go, I really don’t! I can’t think… I can’t breathe…

She starts gasping, having what Tiberius always used to call an ‘episode’, so I do for her what Caelus always used to do for me. I give her a big hug. But when I speak, the words are my own. “It is not our job to make sure that everything goes right. We’re not even in charge anymore, and when we were, it was never fair of Tiberius to expect that. All we have to do is try our best, and in fact that’s all we can do. And if other people mess things up, then that’s on them, and not us.”

(Teen Alana): But what if they get us exiled? That’s what I want from you, Nala, to never ever get us kicked out! Even if you have to run away again, that’s better…

“That’s not a promise I can make, Alana. We can’t control what other people will do to us. And that’s scary, I know! But isn’t it better- funner, even- to just focus on doing what we deem best, and leave everyone else to do what they deem best? Because at least then, even if we do get kicked out again, it’s for being ourselves, not someone we’re not. We never wanted to hurt Dora, but we almost did out of fear. Wouldn’t you rather get kicked out for loving someone, rather than being afraid of them?

(Teen Alana): You’re so much braver than me, Nala! Yes, that’s what I would want too! So I suppose I’ll ask you… never stop loving our family and friends, and always do your best for them. But love them wisely, and love yourself too.

I nod to her. “I will.” She vanishes too, leaving me alone with adult Alana. She’s the hardest of the three for me to face. I know I’ve grown up from the other two, but Alana… “You’re a better person than me. Maybe I should have just stayed you.”

(Adult Alana): Oh, you believe so? You handled the other two much better than I’ve been able to. They do make doing the right thing rather tough sometimes.

“Is that what you want from me, to do the right thing?”

(Adult Alana): Of course, but I have no doubt that you will. You’ve always listened to my voice, when it mattered most. But there’s something else I wish to ask, that you may find harder. You have so much power now, Nala, power I could never have dreamed of. Don’t let fear of upsetting others, him in particular, stop you from using it to help others. If you disagree with him, then don’t be afraid to speak up, especially if others’ lives are on the line.

“My power comes from him! And his allies, they’ve been suspicious of me ever since I arrived. If they perceive Michael’s behaviour as changing too much…”

(Adult Alana): Didn’t you just say that it would be better to be banished for being yourself, rather than what you think someone else wants you to be? And I did say I thought you would find this hard. But luckily, I think there are ways to make it easier. Your friend Sydney may be good for you in this regard.

“Maybe, if he wasn’t in hibernation to stop him starving to death.” Alana just tilts her head at me, but says no more. “Ok, I’ll try, Alana. I might not always get it right, but I’ll try.”

Rather than adult Alana disappearing, the other two reappear again. Child Nala seems less angry, and teen Alana less anxious. Adult Alana picks up child Nala in one arm, and uses the other arm to take teen Alana by the hand. They all seem happier now, and look like they belong together. I watch them walk off together, before leaving the void myself.

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anxiouslynumbme · 5 years ago

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Last Hope

Summary: It was hard for Ginny Weasley to find hope in the aftermath of the Battle Of Hogwarts. (Ginny and Harry never got together in HBP)

Available on AO3 and FFN.

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Chapter 2

Two Months Later.

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The sun was shining brightly through the window of Ginny's bedroom at the Burrow and it was so. . .horrible.

She grumbled loudly, rolling on her back in annoyance. It was all just so irritating, because, sometimes she couldn't bring herself to sleep a wink, and other times, when she did manage to sleep, she'd be dead to the world for hours on end, reliving her worst memories in nightmare land until her lovely mother would barge in and tell her to get off her bum.

But she managed to wake up all by herself, because, the bloody sun decided to exist. She glared at her window childishly, sitting up slowly. It's been a little over two month and her body still ached from time to time. After Voldemort has been defeated, everyone that fought at Hogwarts spent about a week or two at St. Mungo's, some longer than others. She was lucky, her physical wounds were treated quickly, as for the emotional ones. . .well, she didn't really want to think about that.

After taking a shower and brushing her teeth, she threw on blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt, before stumping down the stairs to get something to eat. It was late in the afternoon and she knew her mother was going to give her grief about it. She's been missing breakfast with the family for a while now, she actually missed most meals, and her parents were not happy about it. She couldn't help it if she didn't feel like company, she just wanted to eat alone, there was nothing wrong with that, considering everything they've been through. She was coping.

I don't see anybody telling George off for being, Merlin knows where half the time, and then coming home completely plastered, she thought bitterly.

Why did he get a free pass just because Fred was his twin? She knew she was being irrational, and she instantly felt disgust at herself for her thoughts, George should get a free pass, she thought. Because as sad and lost as she felt, she knew, she couldn't even begin to understand the impact that losing Fred had on George. They were inseparable.

Her head was beginning to spin again, she put a hand on the wall to steady herself, she suddenly felt as if her lungs were collapsing. Her throat was about to close up. She had to stop thinking about Fred. And George. She just had to stop thinking all the time, she couldn't have another panic attack. She rested a hand on her chest and breathed slowly through her nose, trying to calm her racing heart. It was getting less frequent, but not less enough. She had managed to get through the first two alone, the first one was exactly a week after the War, she'd thought she was dying, she hasn't had a panic attack that vicious since the Chamber. She had managed to keep them at bay over the years and had thought she was getting pretty good at it, even if she couldn't really help the anxiety attacks that kept her up all night. But lately, it was all a little too much for her, they came on sudden and fast; she felt hopeless, frantic, and then numb.

She knew, that was why she didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. That was also why, she didn't want to help with repairing and rebuilding it, because, she couldn't be there without breaking down. She was there the first week or so, but then, she slowly started to go less and less. While a part of her had felt guilty, the other didn't really care and thought that, she had already done her job. How could she walk through all that rubble and not fall apart.

Ginny's relationship with Hogwarts has always been a little back and forth. At first, she had been beyond excited to go and finally start her first year and be there with her brothers. . .then the Chamber of Secrets happened. And she had never felt less safe anywhere. Once she had finally returned to the Burrow after her first year's horrifying events, she'd never wanted to go back, she was in the safety of her own bedroom and she had wanted things to stay that way. But then of course, she had realized, that it would have been weak to hide from the world, and that she had to be strong and push through it.

Her parents hadn't believed her, and she couldn't blame them. She had woken up crying out for them every night. She could still remember the conversation, when she had told them that she didn't need time away, that she was fine, even if she had been crying as she’d said it.

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There was a knock on twelve year old Ginny Weasley's bedroom.

"Hey, darling," her mother, Molly Weasley, whispered, cautiously walking in, in case Ginny was actually asleep. "Still can't sleep?"

Ginny sat up on the bed with a huff. "Yes, obviously, Mum."

Her mother only smiled softly at her, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "No need to be grumpy about it, it will only keep you up longer, you know? Have you tried reading the new book I got for you?"

"Yes, and as boring as it was, it still couldn't get me to fall asleep,"

Her mother laughed lightly."It's always nice to see that sense of humor of yours is still intact,"

"I wasn't joking, it really was quite awful,"

"See, I told you she wouldn't like it," Ginny's father, Arthur Weasley, was standing in the doorway; smiling fondly at them.

"Oh, shut it, Arthur. At least, I didn't get her one of those useless Muggle toys 'how to build', manual things,"

Her father scoffed, as he grabbed her desk's chair and pulled it closer to her bed, before sitting on it. "It was about how to build a toy train! How could that not be exciting?!"

"Sorry, Dad, but it was just as boring," Ginny sighed. "I'm fine, I'll just take another sleeping potion, I guess."

Ginny was hugely disappointed, she really wanted to get herself to sleep without any help, but it seemed she wasn't there yet. It was enough that she needed a potion for her anxiety and panic attacks.

"I know you hate doing it," her mother started softly. "But you can always come sleep with us."

Ginny did hate having to go to her parent's bedroom when things got too hard. She didn't want to need them, she wanted to get through all of it on her own. The whole reason Tom Riddle managed to possess her, was because, she had been lonely and weak; and all she had wanted was a friend to talk to. She had thought her first year at Hogwarts, was going to be nothing but fun and learning magic. Then, she got there and it wasn't all she had dreamed it to be. It was too big and overwhelming.

And while she understood that, Ron had already found great friends in Harry and Hermione, she didn't really think he could forget about her so quickly. So, when she had seen how happy he was, she didn't really want to intrude in on his new life, he was her best friend and she had been happy for him. Plus, she had figured it was time for her to start new friendships, too.

Ginny had always thought, she was friendly and fun to spend time with, if what she had with her brothers was any indication. She was funny, smart, and could prank better than the best of them. But, when she had tried to make friends, it wasn't so easy, it wasn't as simple as joking around with her brothers. So, when she had found the Diary, she thought, she had found a place to vent about her growing anxieties, and then Tom had answered and she stupidly thought, it was even better than before, she had found a friend who already knew her better than anyone.

Ginny shuddered, thinking about everything that happened after, how he had slowly manipulated her emotions to his advantage, how disoriented and panicked she had felt when he had completely taken over; and she wasn't aware of what she was doing or where she was for most days, waking up somewhere suddenly, with no memory of how she got there, covered in blood.

So, no, Ginny wasn't going to be sad and pathetic anymore, she wasn't going to run to her parents every time she felt scared. She was okay and she could get through this.

"Mum, I'm not doing that," she replied, looking down, eyes brimming with tears. "I'll just take the potion, and one day, I won't need it anymore."

She felt her parents looking at each other. And she knew they were about to say something she wasn't going to like.

"Right, and until then," her mother paused. "Your father and I have been talking, and we think you should stay back with us this year, only for a while, your Healer agrees too. We talked to Albus and he's okay with you st-"

"No! You can't do that!" Ginny cried immediately.

"Ginny, it will be fun," her father tried gently. "We can travel somewhere, get away for a bit,"

"No no no," Ginny shook her head adamantly, they couldn't just take that choice away from her, she wanted to go back to Hogwarts. "I have to go back, it's the only way I'll get better, I can't just hide and be weak -"

"Ginny!" her mother interrupted, emotions shining in her voice. "you are not weak! Don't ever say that. Dear, you are the strongest, bravest girl, I. ."

Her mother broke off, not being able to control the sob that came out, she could see her dad putting a comforting arm around her.

"Ginny, taking time for yourself, especially after what happened, is not weak. If anything, it's necessary, sweetheart," her father said with a teary-eyed smile.

"It doesn't matter! I need to go back, please. . .please,"

"Ginny, it's not forever, maybe just a term, or maybe more, just until you get better," her mother said.

"I am better! I haven't had an attack in a while, I just...still have trouble with sleeping," little Ginny said, wiping at her face with her sleeve."I still have one month before I have to get back to Hogwarts, I can still get better. I promise,"

"Ginny,"

"I'm okay, I swear! We can go away now, right? We have a month to travel."

"Yes, Ginny. But that is not the only reason. I mean, are you really ready to go back, dear?" her mother took a deep breath before continuing. "it's okay to admit that you don't feel safe there anymore, it will pass,"

"But I do feel safe. . .well, maybe not as safe as before, but I know it wasn't Hogwarts, it was. . .Tom. I promise, going back to school is not going to make me worse. I don't want to take time away, please,"

Her parents stayed quiet for what felt like forever.

"Please." she repeated.

Finally, after contemplating and looking at each other in silent communication, they looked at her. "Fine,"

"Yes!" Ginny exclaimed in glee.

"BUT," her mother continued sternly. "we'll be visiting you frequently and you'll send us a letter everyday to tell - "

"Everyday?!"

"Yes."

"That's a bit much, Mum,"

"Ginny,"

"All right," she sighed in defeat.

"And you have to promise, that if you ever feel unsafe, or that you need to just leave at any time, you have to tell us,"

"Okay,"

"I'm serious, Ginny. If you feel like you're not completely fine, all you have to do is talk to us,"

"I know. I'll be fine, I promise."

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And she had been fine. She had been right, she'd needed to go back to Hogwarts; she'd needed to make new memories, and make friends. . .actual non-evil Dark Lord friends.

Ginny didn't know why she felt different about going back. She loved Hogwarts with all her heart. Maybe, it was because she was older, or because she knew in her heart, that last year was just too much, and going back wouldn't change anything.

All Ginny knew was that she needed to get out, go somewhere else. She wanted to move away and find a flat, maybe with Luna and Neville, like they've talked about. It could even be in some Muggle city, she could find a job - any job, she could wait on tables in some shop, for money. The only thing was, that something in Ginny has shifted, most of the time, she didn't really care which way her life went, but what she cared about in that moment, was that, she was seriously considering not going back to Hogwarts; and she didn't know how to go about the idea with her parents.

"Ginny!" her mother's voice bellowed.

She took one final long deep breath, finally managing to gather a little control, before leaving the wall she was leaning on, and walking into the kitchen.

"Afternoon, Mum,"

"Ginevra Weasley! Do you know what time it is?!"

"No, I still can't tell time,"

Her mother shot her a glare.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Mum! It's not that late!"

She only sighed in response. "Ginny, this has to stop, darling. You haven't been. . .yourself,"

Yeah, no shit.

"And I know, believe me, I know, it's difficult right now, and that we're all doing the best we can to just. . .move past this," her mother continued, eyes full of tears. "but the only way to get through this, is together. Pushing us away is unlike you, I just want to talk to you, you know, like before,"

Ginny knew she had to say something to get out of the conversation, she couldn't stand there and watch her mother cry. That was precisely why she avoided her, avoided everyone. She couldn't deal with her own shit, how could she help others?

She had been there for her family in the beginning, she realized they needed her to be strong for them. And she was; for the first month, maybe, but then it all got to be unbearable. The crying, the pretending, that everything was going to be the same, and of course, the constant reminiscing; 'remember when Fred did that', 'remember when he said this'. Ginny had to pull back, or she would have lost her damn mind. She understood that was their way of handling the trauma, but it wasn't hers. The only way Ginny could move on was, to actually move on.

"Mum, I'm not pushing you or anyone away, I promise. Just because I like to be alone sometimes, doesn't mean you're losing me," trying to lighten the mood just a bit, she looked at her mother seriously. "I mean, you have to understand, I'm a woman now, Molly."

"Oh, please!" her mother said, a smile cracking lips.

"I'm serious! I need my space!"

All of a sudden, Ginny could feel tension back in the air. "Well, I suppose you'll have a lot of it soon enough. I mean, you want to move house as soon as possible, right?"

Fucking Ron, she thought angrily. She couldn't believe he told her about that, she had told him that in passing, she wasn't even sure he'd heard her.

"I'm going to murder him!"

"Now, Ginny, calm down. I practically made him tell me and well, he was worried about you, It's -"

"Worried about me?! That tosser! He's leaving soon too, you know?"

"Oh, I know! Obviously. I'm not angry, love," she paused, looking down at the table, and Ginny knew she was trying to keep from crying. She looked back up, raising her hand To Ginny's cheek and stroking it gently."it's normal, I don't expect you to stay here forever. You're right, you have become, quite the lovely young woman,"

"Mum,"

"It's all right, sweetheart. We still have one year until you graduate, and I assume, the summer after?" She finished hopefully.

Oh, shit. She wasn't ready to talk about not returning to Hogwarts. She would tell her later, she hasn't even really, totally decided yet, she still had time. It was fine.

"Right, yeah, of course. Let's not think about it, though, like you said, we have time,"

"All right, then," her mother smiled, moving around the kitchen, preparing the food. "everyone's coming back here for Lunch from Hogwarts, by the way. You should've been there this morning, Ginny. It's almost all the way done,"

"Mum, stop trying to get me to help, I told you, I'm just not up for it. Besides, I'm sure you've got more than enough hands helping you. You don't need me,"

Also, I'm all good on the panic attacks, thanks. She thought to herself.

"I have stopped trying to get you to do anything a long time ago, Ginevra. Will Neville and Luna be joining us? They weren't at Hogwarts this morning,"

Another thing she didn't want to chat about with her mother. She hasn't been in touch with her best friends as much as she would have liked to, not that they weren't persistently trying. Non-stop letters and surprise visits to the Burrow, but for the past two weeks, they've quieted down a bit. She missed them terribly, she missed being around them all the time. But sadly, that didn't change the fact that things were just easier when she were by herself.

"I haven't heard from them lately. Maybe, they just took the day off or something,"

"Perhaps,"

There were loud noises by the front door of the Burrow and Ginny knew that everyone's arrived. Even though, they were all talking over each other, she could single out his voice. Harry was here, and it was going to be another day of her avoiding being alone with him, which wasn't as easy as she thought it would be, since he's been staying with them. She's been avoiding having any kind of real conversation with him, just the casual obligatory, 'Hi, how are you today?' Or 'Hey, Mum says she needs you in the kitchen'. It was getting to Harry and she could feel his frustration, rising more and more every day. There hasn't been a day that's passed that he hadn't asked if they could go for a walk or go somewhere 'private' where they could talk. And she'd found an excuse to get out of it every time.

She'd thought he was dead. She had believed he was dead. And even though, she could see him alive and well, that feeling hasn't left her. She didn't think it would ever go away.

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Harry was alive. Voldemort was gone.

It's been three days since the Battle has ended, and Ginny was still repeating the mantra in her head. Harry is alive. Voldemort is gone.

She hasn't talked to him yet, whenever he walked into a room, she walked out. It felt like, she didn't know how to communicate with him anymore. As though, he was nothing but a figment, that she needed to create, to keep her head above water.

They were all still at Hogwarts, students were still being accounted for. They were still counting the dead. People being transported to the Hospital Wing or St. Mungo's, depending on the severity of their injury, she has just come back from her second check up, and she immediately went back to her dorm to take a shower.

Not long after, she decided to visit the Quidditch pitch, but instead of flying, she found herself standing there in the middle of the pitch, broomstick in hand, staring at the sky. It's been so long, she wanted to fly so badly, but something was holding her back. She knew from the knots in her stomach, it was anxiety, she was scared and worried. What if she got up there and they pronounced another one of her friends, dead. They've already lost Colin, Paravti, Alice, Cormac, Lavender, Carla, Hannah. . .the list just didn't seem to stop.

She couldn't fly, it wasn't the time for such luxury.

Exhaling, she quickly banished her broom back to the shed and turned around, speeding up, eager to get back inside. As she was exiting the pitch, she took a sharp left and collided with a hard body.

"Shit!"

"Ow!"

Taking a step back to steady herself, she looked up to meet Harry potter's wide green eyes.

Ginny inhaled sharply at the sensation rushing through her. His eyes. His face. His proximity. It was too much all at once. Her eyes finally ran over him, he was wearing dark jeans and his old grey jumper. His entire body looked as if it were preparing to run before she got there, his face looked flushed, eyes still wide, as if he got caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. He was embarrassed. Confused, Ginny squinted her eyes at him, and that was when her eyes found the map that had fallen on the ground during their collision. The Marauder's Map. He already knew where she was.

She didn't know what to say. What could she say to someone who just saved the Wizarding world? What could she say to a dear friend she hasn't seen in over a year?

"Were you following me, Harry?"

That was good a start as any, she supposed.

Harry's eyes closed suddenly, she could see his chest moving up and down visibly. When he still hasn't answered, she started to get a little worried.

"Uh...Harry?"

His eyes opened quickly."Oh, sorry, it's just your voice, y'know? I haven't really h- " he stopped, taking a deep breath. "no..I wasn't following you - I mean, I was looking for you. . . Yeah."

Ginny simply looked at him, she understood what he meant, she had missed his voice too. She wasn't ready to talk, and she honestly didn't think he was either. Ginny suddenly realized that, they've been staring at each other for quite some time, with all the anxiety that was rising up in her, telling her to get the fuck out of there. She couldn't stop looking at him, she didn't want to stop.

They were alone. It was quiet. And he was taking her in, his eyes were intensely running over every inch of her body. His eyes held so much longing, it was almost painful staring into them, they were showing so much emotion, and Ginny felt trapped in their storm.

He abruptly stepped towards her with a loud exhale. And then she found herself wrapped up in his arms.

Her whole body went rigid, her heart constricting painfully at his familiar touch. Although, she wasn't hugging him back, he didn't let go, he only hugged her closer, afraid that she might pull away, it was as if he was silently begging her, to please hug him back, she could hear his harsh breathing against her neck, puffing though her hair.

With one deep breath, Ginny felt all her worries, fears, and exhaustion leave her body as she breathed out. She let go of it all and sagged against him in relief. Her eyes were stinging with tears, as she raised her arms with urgency and wrapped it around him tightly, pulling him even closer.

"Ginny. . .Ginny," he breathed, his face burrowed in her neck. "I - I can't believe. . . " his voice was muffled against her, she couldn't hear much, but she felt him saying her name over and over again.

"Shhh. . .it's okay, Harry, it's okay."

Ginny didn't care about how long they stayed in their embrace, and neither did Harry. They stood there, hugging each other so tightly as if it were their last day on earth, which was kind of sad, since technically, their lives has just begun.

Lost in their hug, Ginny felt as though, they were sharing burdens, it usually felt like that with Harry, their friendship was based on understanding, honesty, and the ability to lean on each other. And as they were embracing, she could feel both of them letting go of the pain, even if just momentarily, because, they trust that they can hold each other up.

After a long while, Ginny started to slowly move away. When she pulled back enough to see Harry's face up close, she noticed the dark bags under his teary eyes, as he softly smiled at her. His arms were still around her, refusing to let go. So, Ginny had no choice but to rest her hands on his chest, falling into a state of tranquility, as they both just stood in each other's arms comfortably.

"Ginny. . . I'm so sorry about Fred,"

And tranquility broken. Ginny gently pushed at his chest, so she could move back a step. He reluctantly let his arms fall back to his side.

"Sorry, I didn't mean- "

"It's okay, it's not your fault," Ginny quickly cut in. "but I don't really want to talk about it. . .not right now,"

"Yeah, of course, I get it. We'll talk later,"

She could hear the determination and promise in his voice and she didn't know how to feel about it.

"Right."

It was starting to get awkward and silent again and she hated it. It was sad, because it wasn't supposed to be difficult. They were too good of friends to let it get to that. She reckoned that was the result of having too much to say and not really knowing where to start, or if you even want to start at all, really. She looked up at the sky, wondering, if she could just leave and go back to the Great Hall. She could feel Harry's eyes firmly on her, she didn't think they've left her since they caught sigh of her. Just as she was about to tell him that she was heading back, he spoke up.

"You didn't fly," it wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I was going to . . . But I changed my mind," she answered, directing her gaze to him, before moving it back up again.

"Why?"

It was blunt. That was what always made their friendship so special. They were honest, they called each other out. They didn't bullshit or beat around the bush. That was how they were. Harry asking her a simple question of 'why' was different then. Because in that moment, she had a strange urge to tell him it was none of his business, or just any cliched, standoffish response. She pushed that urge down, though. It was Harry. And they had promised to always be truthful with one another, no matter how big or small the issue was. Besides, she was pretty sure he already knew her answer anyway.

"It didn't feel right,"

"You felt guilty," again, he wasn't asking.

"Yeah, I mean, people are dead, people are fighting to stay alive, there's just too much going on,"

He was quiet for bit. "I understand, but, we both know why you want to fly right now,"

"Harry,"

"It's the same reason I want to fly right now, it's obviously not out of disrespect or because we don't care. We fly, so we can breathe."

She smiled sadly at him in recognition, as she remembered all of the conversations they have had about flying and what it meant to them. They used to fly whenever the mood struck, but they always used to fly when something bad happened. From death and the looming danger of Voldemort, to anxiety about exams, or simply just having a bad day. She recalled, that one time when he had asked her why they loved flying so much, and she had answered; because it was like breathing. We fly to breathe, she'd said.

"Come on, Ginny," he started with a smile. "Let's Just fly, I promise nothing's gonna happen in the next hour,"

He could clearly see, she was still hesitant. He quietly took a step forward and extended his hand.

"Breathe with me."

And if it were any other day, she would have mercilessly made fun of him for that cheesy line.

"Idiot." she couldn't help telling him.

His smile widened brightly, eyes lighting up at her familiar comment. "Guilty."

Maybe it was because of his smile, or because that feeling of safety, she has always felt around him. All of a sudden, she wanted to fly again, having Harry there, made her feel less anxious, even if she didn't believe that everything was going to be okay, for a moment, she wanted to forget and be able to relax, just for a second.

She took harry's hand, before summoning broomsticks from the broomshed, once they straddled them, ready to take off, they looked at each other, grinning widely. Ginny thought it was crazy, how in that moment it felt like, they were never separated, like a year hasn't gone by. As though, none of those tragedies happened, and nothing has changed. It was just Ginny and Harry, and the world has stopped for them. So they could breathe.

When they were in the air, there were silent moments, they just flew alongside one another, and then stopping, hovering in comfortable silence. But then, they were racing each other, flying as high as they could and diving right back down, laughing and smiling, just like old times.

It was only when they landed on their feet, and quietly started making their way back inside, that Ginny was lost again.

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"There is no way that's true!"

Ron's voice snapped her out of her reverie.

"I'm telling you, it's been there for years, Ronald!" said Hermione. Ginny didn't know what they were talking about and she didn't care. Honestly, it was kind of annoying that the bickering hasn't lessened, since they've finally got together.

The moment he walked in, Harry's eyes zeroed in on her. And while she didn't meet them, she could still feel them on her skin, her body tingling with his attention. Everybody was chatting and gathering around the table, Ginny was putting sandwiches on a plate, planning to go back up to her room, so she can eat in peace. But then, both her parents glared at her, knowing what she was about to do. She rolled her eyes, raising her arms in surrender, before slumping down a chair, that was purposely the farthest from Harry. Ron was taking a seat next to her, which was fine, but what wasn't fine, was how close he was to her. He kept moving his chair closer and closer.

"Ron. . .what are you doing?"

"You know, Ginny? For someone who lives in the same house as me, you're pretty hard to find,"

"I'll take that as compliment, Ronnie,"

"It wasn't," he replied, then added the usual retort. "Don't call me that, Ginevra,"

"Sure thing, Ronnie,"

"I need to talk to you about something," he was suddenly whispering, his tone serious.

Ginny could still sense those green eyes on her, and she slightly panicked, what if Ron wanted to talk to her about Harry. She didn't think Harry would tell Ron to talk to her, but still.

"Relax, it's not about why you're avoiding Harry," he said. She looked at him in surprise.

"You're not subtle, Gin," he smirked.

"There's nothing to be subtle about,"

"Right, sure."

"Ugh, what do you want to talk about, then?"

"Well, it is about Harry, actually. . . and me,"

"Oh, Ron," she sighed. "you're leaving Hermione to be with him, aren't you?"

"You should be a comedian," he deadpanned.

"Well, that would make me a lot of money,"

He rolled his eyes, but she could see a small grin on his lips. "Listen, I need your opinion on something, let's talk after dinner tonight or whatever, so. . . just be around."

She got a bit worried. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said quickly. "Everything is good, just need to go over something with you,"

"Okay."

After she finished her meal, she waited a few minutes, listening to the chatter around the table, before naturally making her escape upstairs to her room, knowing Harry's eyes were following her, until she was out of his sight.

Not five minutes later, there was a knock on her door, and she instantly knew who it was. She tried to do her usual routine, and pretended not to hear the door. He usually gave up after about ten minutes, they all did. But there was more persistence this time, he stopped for a while, and then came right back, knocking again.

"I'm not leaving this time, Ginny. Open the door."

She sighed to herself, before finally deciding to open the door, what was the worse that could happen? it wasn't like he could force her to talk. Ginny waved her wand to unlock the door, and a second later, Harry was inside her room. He gently closed the door behind him, and then proceeded to lean on it, crossing his arms behind his back. She till couldn't believe how much of a change the past year had on him, especially physically. Harry was always attractive, but he was a lot more grown up, in every way. She's never really minded or found it weird, when she thought about how handsome he was. It was natural, and she's never really given it much thought, she found lot of blokes attractive.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hey,"

"Hogwarts is almost ready,"

"I heard," she replied.

He turned his head up to the ceiling."You shouldn't just hear about it, though, I mean, you should see it for yourself,"

"I know what Hogwarts look like, Harry,"

His eyes snapped to hers. "You know what I mean, Ginny,"

"Yeah. . .I know,"

Ginny realized that a part of her, really wanted to tell him about her struggles with going there, her attacks and everything, she knew he would understand, he had known about them before, he'd even experienced it himself. She finally felt this familiar wave of comfort from him being there, and she wanted to confide in her friend. But that part, that was telling her to open up, was really small. She didn't want to unfold everything else.

"Why are you avoiding me?" his voice was soft and vulnerable.

Fucking hell. That was why. She was, in many ways trying to stay away from everyone, but Harry, in particular, was the person she tried to dodge the most. Because there was way too much to unpack with Harry. They were apart for a year. That year had majorly changed both of them, in ways, that were going to take a long time to grasp. She just wanted things to remain static, and not face them for a while, and that might've been unhealthy, but that was where she was at. And for some reason, in a truly unHarry-like manner, he wanted to talk. He should have known that she wasn't ready, they have always given one another enough time and space to process things first, before confronting and calling each other out.

"Harry, I'm not av - "

"Don't," he gritted, voice hard. "Don't make a fool out of both of us, just talk to me,"

"That's the whole fucking point, I don't want to talk!"

"Tough shit," he left his position on the door and walked over to the middle of the room, and stopped for a second, seemingly making a decision to either join her on the bed, or go for the desk chair. He looked at her with unreadable eyes, and she frowned slightly, why was he even taking the time to think about it? He opted for the chair, moving it closer to where she sat on the bed before sitting down.

"Ginny," he said softly. "are you angry with me?"

Even though, it was posed as a question, it really wasn't one. Because he knew she was. They both knew, she was a little more than angry with him, and they both knew why. But, she didn't want to open that can of flobberworms just yet, because her emotions were always bubbling up around him, and that was without any kind of talking. If they started down that path of topics, it would be a never-ending cycle of gut-wrenching, heartbreaking conversations, and fighting. And Ginny was exhausted. All the time.

"I can't, Harry," for a second she wasn't sure she had said that. Her voice sounded broken; and she couldn't meet his eyes.

"Can't what?" he whispered.

"All of it. . . I just can't."

He seemed to understand as he reached out, taking her hand in his and squeezing tightly. Warmth spread through her at the gesture, and she found the strength to continue.

"I am angry. With you, the world . . .myself," she took a long breath. "And it feels like if I open that gate, it will just be this. . .perpetual flood, you know? I'm overwhelmed and I just wanna leave it behind,"

"Gin, I don't - "

"And I know, holding it in is not the answer. . .sharing feelings and all that," she caught his eyes then. "But. . .I can't."

He was silent for a moment as his eyes broke away from hers. "You know that I'm not eager to talk about it either, Gin. It's too difficult to explain, and all too painful. Honestly, I would be happy if I never mention any of it again," he said.

"Not when it comes to you, however," he continued, green eyes back on hers steadily. "the only person I want to talk to, is you."

While Harry had said similar things to her in the past, Ginny still felt his words seep into her, all the way to her heart, where they wrapped themselves around it firmly.

"Well, whenever I'm ready to talk, you're the only person I want to annoy, too," she smiled.

Harry closed his eyes, shaking his head for a second at her reply, before letting out a quiet laugh.

"I can't wait," he said through his light chuckles. Ginny wanted to soak up the soft sound. The moment they were having, was much better than keeping away from him, she didn't want to do it anymore. They didn't speak for some time, more than comfortable to just be in each other's presence. And as Ginny marveled one more time, over how easy it felt to be in touch with him again after so long, she noted, that they were still holding hands.

"So. . . how do you want to do this?"

She knew what he was asking, he wanted to know how she wanted to proceed. She let go of his hand to give herself a minute, chewing on her lips in thought.

"I - there's no one way, really. Let's just ignore it, I guess,"

"Ignore it how?"

"You know," she tried to hand gesture her point.

"Not really, no,"

"For fuck's sake, Harry, you're intentionally making this harder!"

"I am not," he defended in frustration, "I'm just trying to do this exactly on your terms, so you don't run out of every room I walk into,"

She gaped at him, before conceding. "Harsh. . . but fair,"

"Okay, we'll just be as we were before. . .just going through life, not paying attention to the multiple erumpents in the room," she shrugged. Harry smiled at her response, but she could plainly see the sadness that flashed in his eyes at her words. He let out a breath, staring down.

"We'll talk eventually, right? About. . . everything, because, there's so much I need to tell you, Gin," his voice almost sounded scared, as though, he feared she was going to back out. But Ginny wasn't stupid, she knew, all of it had to come crashing down in the end.

"Of course, Harry, let's just give ourselves some time first,"

He still looked unsure and disappointed, but nodded nonetheless. "Okay,"

"Okay."

It was a moment before Harry spoke again, "Hermione wants Ron and I to go help her, buy a few things for her parents, wanna come?"

While he couldn't help the hopeful note in his voice, Ginny could see that his face was a little guarded, ready for her to say no. And sadly, she was going to prove him right.

"Erm. . .I'm not really in the mood to go out,"

He sighed, looking at her with defeat and longing. "Promise me, that we'll hang out tonight, then, or soon, at least,"

Ginny's heart broke a little at his words, she tried to smile."Absolutely, I mean, there's obviously no question about it, Potter,"

"Promise me, Ginny." he remained serious, staring at her intensely.

"I promise, Harry."

There was a quick knock on her door, and they both jumped at the sound.

"Come in," Ginny called out. The door was gently pushed open to reveal Neville, as he took a step inside her room.

"Oh! Hey, Harry," he smiled in greeting, a flash of surprise in his eyes.

"Hey, Neville," Harry smiled back.

Neville looked at them for a minute, before settling his eyes on Ginny. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No." Harry and Ginny answered at the same time, and Ginny couldn't help but give Neville a weird look. Why the hell would he think he is interrupting something? she thought to herself.

"Actually," Harry started, standing up. "I was about to leave, have to help Hermione with something," he walked to the door, passing Neville and slapping him on the shoulder. "I'll see you later, mate,"

"See ya, Harry," replied Neville.

Once he stepped outside, Harry wheeled around to look at Ginny with a wide grin, his eyes reminding her of her promise. "I'll see you, Weasley."

"I'll see you, Potter." she grinned back.

After Harry closed the door behind him, she turned around to face a beaming Neville.

"Finally! I'm so happy you're talking to him again, it was getting ridiculous," he said, taking the empty chair and moving it back to her desk, before sitting down. He was very obviously going through the stuff on her desk, not even trying to be discreet.

"What are you doing, Nev?"

Holding up a bunch of letters in his palm, he glared at her. "Oh, I'm just making sure your letters are actually being delivered to you. . . Well, look at that, they're all here!"

"I'm sorry, Neville, but in my defense, we do see each other often,"

"That is such a feeble excuse, and not even true," he complained, still looking through her stuff. "there are a few letters here from Eli,"

"Yeah,"

"Have you responded?"

"No," she didn't really want to talk about Eli, especially knowing how big of a fan Neville was of him.

"Come on, Gin! You should write him back,"

"No, I don't want to,"

"Why not? You guys were great together,"

"For the last time, Neville, we were never together, it was merely physical," he was just trying to get a rise out of her at that point.

"Trust me, I know how physical it was," he shuddered.

"And now you know, you always have to knock," she smirked.

"It was a Broom-cupboard! And you should have used proper locking spells - " he shook his head. "I'm not getting into this again!"

"Well, I mean, we weren't thinking clearly that day, we were practically tearin - "

"Ugh, Ginny!"

"You brought it up, mate," Ginny laughed.

"My apologies," he replied sarcastically, still snooping around her letters. "ooh, there's one from McGonagall,"

"I'm like a minute away from hexing you, Nev, stop going through my stuff!"

"Bloody hell, Gin! She says she wants to make you Head Girl and Captain of the Quidditch team, once the school reopens! Why didn't you say anything?!"

Ginny had entirely forgotten about that letter, because in all honesty, the news didn't excite her. Ginny didn't know if she should tell him, that she had little desire to go back. On the one hand, he would be more than understanding, on the other, he was going to freak out. But if she were honest with herself, she wanted someone's opinion on it.

"Because, I'm kind of, sort of, considering. . .not going back," she said nervously.

Silence. And then he was laughing for a good minute, before he noticed that her face hasn't changed.

"What? No! Why?!"

"I think you know why, Nev,"

He paused at this, taking a moment to ponder, before catching her eyes. "Ginny, I know it's hard, but you can't do this alone, You, Luna, and I are a team. The school needs you, Hogwarts is not the same without you,"

"Neville,"

"Ginny, you love Hogwarts!"

"I know I do! I consider it a second home, but that's not the point!"

"No, no, wait, you said you were considering it, so, you haven't made a decision yet!" he grabbed a quill from her desk and started writing.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm writing Luna, of course, telling her to get here, as soon as possible, so we can talk you out of this insanity!"

"Hey! I'm not insane!"

"Before I write her," he put the quill down and met her eyes." I want to tell you something. . .I was scared to die all of last year, we all were. . .but all I've kept thinking was 'I can't believe my last memory of Hogwarts, would be this'. Merlin, I was so happy when we somehow managed to find a few, rare moments of peace. . .and normality,"

"And then, the War was over, and I was still scared," he said, eyes shining with tears."Because my last memory of it, was still the same, but then, McGonagall said, that I could come back to repeat my seventh year . . . any seventh year student is welcome to try again, if they want to. . .Ginny, we all have a second chance. . .to actually go to class and not be afraid, to study. . .to have fun, to do anything that doesn't involve fighting for our lives every day. And because I have that chance. . .I'm not scared anymore."

It was such a nice way of looking at things. Ginny wished, she had the same positive take on it. She didn't want the past year to be her last memory of Hogwarts, either. But she knew, things were not so simple for her.

#hinny #harryandginny #Harry Potter #Ginny Weasley #harry x ginny #Neville Longbottom #luna lovegood #hinny fic #hinny fanfic

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ettadunham · 5 years ago

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A Buffy rewatch 6x21 Two to Go

aka past the point of no return

Welcome to this dailyish (weekly? bi-weekly?) text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And in today’s episode, Buffy loses, but Willow isn’t exactly winning either. Let’s talk.

Two to Go is essentially the culmination of a storyline I’ve been going on and on about this season; the dissonance and lack of understanding between Willow and Buffy regarding what the other has been going through this year.

And they’ve been living together! In the same house! But much like when they were college dorm mates, it appears that the constant proximity isn’t always helping their friendship.

To be fair, they haven’t got off to a great start here to begin with. What with the whole resurrection spell that Buffy didn’t ask for. On top of that, she seemed pretty salty about the fact that Willow and Tara just moved into her house while she was dead (with good reason – they didn’t even pay rent it seems!), but no one wanted to pick up on that I guess.

Still, when shit hit the fan, they still tried to support each other. Except… they were kinda both too wrapped up in their own stuff to notice what the other was going through. Buffy kept projecting her situation onto Willow’s problems, and Willow was too busy managing herself to notice what Buffy’s been up to.

(There’s a reason why the show makes a point to have Willow be literally the last to find out about Spike and Buffy. And that’s only because Tara just couldn’t hold it in anymore.)

And this episode shows the consequences of that. Especially as Buffy says literally all the wrong things to try to get through to Willow.

BUFFY: “I know this hurts. Bad. But Willow, if you let loose with the magicks, it will never end.” WILLOW: “Promise?”

See, those lines, those two lines are the essence of the conflict here. And shows how Buffy and Willow’s coping mechanisms differ.

Buffy wallows. She has depressive tendencies, always had. She internalizes her pain, and lets it eat her up inside. It’s rare for Buffy to act out, she’s much more likely to shut off and isolate herself from everyone else.

For Buffy, staying in that place means feeling lonely, numb and hopeless. And there’s nothing more hopeless than believing that that would last forever with no end or escape. It’s hell.

Willow’s… not like that. She feels things strongly, sometimes painfully so. And when it becomes too much to handle, she externalizes those feelings, and lashes out with them. Or tries to escape them.

Something Blue is an excellent representation of both. In that episode, Willow’s lousy mood starts to affect those around her, and she ends up dealing all kinds of damage to her friends with her pointed jabs.

She also drinks some Light Beer (I know, but it’s the iDeA behind that, okay), and does a spell that was supposed to make her pain and heartbreak go poof. Just like that.

So this rampage Willow’s going on right now? This is her escape from the pain. And it ending is the last thing she wants.

She already said so in the last episode. She’s not coming back.

Buffy’s speech is nice and all, but it doesn’t apply to Willow. It sounds more like Buffy’s trying to convince herself, and even that’s going poorly.

BUFFY: “You lose everything. Your friends, yourself... Willow, if you let this control you then the world goes away. And all of us with it. There's so much to live for. Will, there's too much-“ WILLOW: “Oh, please! This is your pitch? Buffy, you hate it here as much as I do. I'm just more honest about it.”

Again, Buffy is missing the crucial detail that Willow’s whole purpose right now is to lose herself. And Willow rightfully points out that Buffy’s pitch sounds more than a little hollow, when she herself is struggling to find any happiness in the world.

This actually has been a question I’ve been ruminating on for a while. Could Willow and Buffy’s been able to help each other out more this season? Could two people in their situations do so?

And I think the answer is yes. But maybe Big Bad Willow is right, and honesty really is the key here. Being honest with each other and yourself. Acknowledging when it’s hard, and making the effort to listen to the other – really listen.

It’s hard though, and when you’re already dealing with your own shit, there’s a good chance that you don’t want to add someone else’s problems to the mix. Which is understandable; but being open to any real human connection is also an important part of recovery.

In our case of course, for Willow and Buffy that person wasn’t each other. Clearly. So I guess they’re gonna fight to the death about it now.

Well… not really though. Willow doesn’t super care – for now she set her focus at Andrew and Jonathan. Fighting with Buffy is just another distraction.

Buffy meanwhile is half-assing everything about this in a different way. She half-asses her aforementioned speech, and she can’t decide between fighting and talking with Willow. She seems resigned enough about not being able to stop her any other way, and yet she also keeps saying that she’ll eventually talk her down.

Willow calls her out on that too, of course. And no wonder – one minute Buffy’s all heroic self-righteousness and addresses Willow as the Big Bad she is; the next she wants to help her to stop. WILLOW: “Come on, this is a huge deal for me! Six years as a side man, and now I get to be the Slayer.” BUFFY: “A killer isn't a Slayer. Being a Slayer means something you can't conceive of.” WILLOW: “Oh, Buffy. You really need to have every square inch of your ass kicked.” BUFFY: “Then show me what you got. And I'll show you what a Slayer really is.”

[…]

BUFFY: “I can help you stop.” WILLOW: “I thought you were gonna show me what a Slayer was.”

Buffy and Willow? They have the range.

One of Buffy’s problems of course is that she is the Slayer. Stopping Willow from hurting anyone else is her responsibility. She has to be prepared to fight her when no one else could.

However, we can also see a dissociation happening for Buffy between Willow, her friend and Willow, the Big Bad. But not as much as Willow herself differentiates between the two.

As the episode progresses, Willow starts talking in the third person more and more. Remember, for Willow, this is about escaping her pain and herself, so that really comes as no surprise. Neither does the observation of where she switches back to first person.

WILLOW: “The only thing Willow was ever good for... The only thing I had going for me were the moments - just moments - when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful.”

Dawn manages to push that same button with Willow. When they meet at Rack’s (after Willow murdered that creep too of course), Willow’s scary, but she doesn’t seem to actually have any malicious intent towards Dawn. But then Dawn says that she misses Tara too, and the atmosphere changes instantly.

Suddenly Willow’s words are cruel and menacing. She even threatens Dawn’s life before Buffy shows up.

All because Dawn reminded her of the pain she’s so desperate to avoid.

And Dawn’s scared and freaked out, and part of me feels like this really is the point of no return for Willow. Not killing someone. Threatening Dawn.

Anya’s right. This is beyond vengeance.

Anya herself of course is an MVP here, teleporting ahead of Willow, chanting the protection spell to shield everyone else from Willow’s magic or just getting real with Xander. Xander, who feels useless, not being able to help his best friend. Xander who also goes a bit overdrive with his self-pity, managing to make it all about himself for a minute.

He’ll get his moment though.

First though, it’s Giles’ moment.

Now, that’s what I call an entrance!

#buffy rewatch 2k19 #btvs talk #btvs

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stillthewordgirl · 6 years ago

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LOT/CaptainCanary fic: (I Don’t Believe in) Destiny (Ch. 5 of 11)

Leonard Snart is back, finally pulled from the timestream where he's spent the last four years. But he wasn't alone, and the repercussions of that will echo through the Legends, the Time Bureau, and beyond.

And maybe, just maybe, they'll bring everything around full circle.

Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Ch. Five: Somehow We Find Each Other

People come and go, times change, and John will always be John. Sara shakes her head, though she also smiles, and glances at Leonard. He looks a bit nonplussed—and a little intrigued, fancy that—but shakes his head too, glancing back at her.

“Interesting fellow,” he drawls, crossing his arms. “Old flame?”

“Something like that.” Sara sighs, stretching, feeling her spine crack—and Leonard’s interested eyes on her. When she relaxes, she holds out a hand to him and—after a moment, in which she sees the old Leonard, the cold-hearted one whose preferred armor was to pretend not to care for anything, flicker behind his eyes—he takes it.

She’s living in the captain’s quarters now, and any trace of Rip is well and truly cleared out. Any trace of Ava—maybe not so much, although Leonard won’t know that. Probably.

He glances around the comfortable space, rolling his shoulders and clearly all too aware that he’s on this ship now without a single possession to his name. Mick had packed up his things, once, but Sara has no idea where they are—except for the one sweater hanging in the back of her closet, which she intends to keep.

“Nice,” comes the drawl. “Sure you wanna share?”

Sara considers him. “I know,” she says finally, picking up a comb from the bedside table just to have something to do with her hands, “that I might have overstepped there. But Mick was right; there’s not really much other space right now. We can get a room ready for you, but I figured until that...”

Her voice trails off. Damn it. Leonard’s not the only person here who wants someone beside him in the night right now.

“Not what I meant.” He steps closer, eyes dark, and studies her in return. “I’m not her, Sara.”

Mick’s been talking. And even after all this time, he’s too damned perceptive, and it stings. “That much is obvious,” Sara snaps back, regretting it immediately.

“Listen, Len...” She runs a hand over her face. “Ava and I were done, that way, long before I even knew you were alive. And I’ll always care for her, but we want different things...and I’m not always OK with some of the things she’s willing to do.” Testing on magical creatures, rebuilding the Oculus...becoming a Time Master?

A deep breath, and she looks up at him. “Yes, I’m sure I want you here. Not just because I know you’d prefer to have someone near you. I would too, but you’re not...not a substitute. You’re you, and I missed you. So...”

Her words run out, and Sara looks down at the comb in her hands, then sets it down again. When she looks back up again, Leonard’s taken a few steps closer, still watching her intently.

“Well. Everyone’s pretty busy right now, too busy to worry about clearing out a room for one long-lost crook,” he says after a moment, reaching up to just barely brush her jaw with his fingers. “So, we bunk together for now.” A pause. “And maybe, we decide we want it to stay that way. But no pressure.”

Sara closes her eyes at the touch. “No pressure,” she echoes, knowing already that it is what she wants. But he’s right, too. There are too many other things to worry about, and they’re both a bit emotionally strung-out at the moment.

“Still.” Leonard’s voice is barely a whisper, and Sara desperately wants a shower and a nice long nap, but that voice is doing things to her, and so is the arm that carefully snakes around her, an anchor, pulling her close against him. “Doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it.”

The nap can wait.

“We need him back!” Druce actually has the temerity to raise his voice at her, the bastard, glaring and learning forward in a way that’s hard not to take as a threat.

Ava glares back coldly, folding her arms and remaining seated at her desk, just barely flicking a glance at the two guards behind Druce. They should, she thinks a bit distantly, be stepping forward in case the “prisoner” needs restraint right about now. But they’re not. That’s...odd.

“And we’ll get him,” she says calmly, ignoring that problem for the moment. “But right now, they’re blocking the time couriers, and we can't track the ship. That won’t last forever. We’re watching for them.”

Druce sniffs. Something’s changed, Ava thinks, something besides Snart’s appearance and escape. The former Time Master has gone from penitent, to matter of fact, to openly demanding.

So, she reaches for the upper hand again. “Perhaps it would be easier,” she points out, tone implying his own fault in this matter, “if we knew precisely what he stole. Perhaps we could obtain it separately.”

What you say he stole.

Now, where had that thought come from?

“That will not be possible.” Her tactic works somewhat, though. Druce hesitates, and then his expression drops into something a great deal more rueful. “It is...” he says slowly, “rather hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

For a beat, she thinks he will. But then Druce shakes his head again, though at least he seems wholly more reasonable. “I will,” he says calmly. “But not yet.” He bows his head. “May I return to the library, Director Sharpe? It all has to do with my research on how to fix this.” The look he gives her might be sincere. Might. “I should have it all worked out soon. And then, then I will tell you everything.”

Ava studies him, not happy with the matter. But she has a funny feeling that pressing this won’t go well either—and Snart is, after all, an admitted thief. Why should she doubt that he’d stolen something?

Len, Sara had called him.

“All right,” she says, nodding. “Please do.” A pause. “I will update you if there’s anything new.”

“Thank you, Director Sharpe.”

The oddly reticent guards guide him out, and Ava waits a beat or two before slumping back in her chair, just a little. She’s missing something, she thinks, staring at the spot on her desk where a photo of her and Sara once sat. How can she feel like she’s losing the upper hand over a man with no followers, no weapons, and no way out of this time? And why does she feel like she needs the upper hand, given that he’s trying to help, to provide the Time Bureau with a tool it desperately needs?

She closes her eyes, thinking of Druce’s description of how the Oculus can control time, tame it, turn it from a chaotic and tangled mess into something ordered. Linear. Controllable. How can that be bad? There’s so much over the past few years that could have been fixed so much more easily...

She’s not sure how long she sits there, thinking...or maybe dozing, just a little, it’s been a long few days...when there’s a rap on her door, which then opens.

“Director Sharpe?”

Gary hasn’t been much on active duty since the whole possession thing, but Ava trusts him enough to make sure he’s the person who’s keeping an eye on the bureau computers and the “blip” that is the Waverider in time. They can’t see precisely when and where it is, at the moment, but they can see that it’s there—and they’ll see where it finally ends up, eventually. The ship can’t shield from them indefinitely.

And Gary—he has his own connections with the Legends. He’ll report to her, and her alone. She wonders, again, why that’s a consideration that’s been nagging at her.

“Yes, Agent Green?” she asks, falling back on formality. “What is it?”

Gary sidles in the door, closing it firmly behind him, and approaches. There’s a mix of consternation and worry on his face, and Ava stands up, suddenly concerned.

“The Waverider, it...” He gulps. “Well, it sort of vanished.”

“I know we weren’t able to track...”

“No.” Gary holds his hands out. “Vanished. Poof. No blip. No sign of, um, destruction or trouble, just...gone.” He stares at her. “Director. What does that mean?”

Ava stares back. She runs through all the trouble she’s known the Legends and the Waverider to get into, and what they might be doing with their newest passenger.

She has no answers.

“I have no idea.”

The Refuge, from above, looks just like Sara remembers it. She wonders, briefly, if young Rip might still be there—or if her, Leonard, Mick or Ray’s childhood selves might be.

Gideon had been close-mouthed about where and when and how the Refuge was, even now, and Sara can’t quite blame her. She doesn’t really understand how the hidden complex and its time-isolated environs work, and right now, that's not really her focus.

The android version of Gideon demurs when invited to leave with the rest of them, and Sara, pretty sure she knows why, doesn’t argue. Some of the others—especially Charlie and John—show an inclination to hide in their rooms instead of going, but Sara ousts them anyway. She’s not sure why, but she feels like this is the sort of thing the Legends are going to need to face as a team—even if it’s a different team than it’d been on their last visit.

The path is the same, the house is the same, even the faint, happy yells of children are the same. Sara takes a deep breath, inhaling the same scent of flowers and greenery as she leads the Legends toward the entrance. She feels Leonard’s arm bump hers, and she gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile. It feels wrong, to be here without Rip.

But they need to know more, and this is the best thing Sara could think of.

As they approach, a tall figure appears at the top of the stairs, just like before, and Sara halts, the others stopping with her. Mary Xavier gazes down at them, her face stoic and calm for a long moment—before her expression breaks into a smile.

“Hello, my Legends,” she says. “I’ve been expecting you.”

Like before, Mary promptly ushers them into the house and into the parlor, but this time, they’re not immediately plied with tea. Leonard watches, a touch bemused, as the woman scans them all, then nods to herself as if marking them in her memory.

“All right,” she muses. “Ms. … pardon me, Captain Lance, Mr. Snart, Mr. Rory, and yes, Dr. Palmer. Please come with me. My office isn’t really built for more, but you can report to the others.”

She briskly turns to those others before anyone can either think to take offense—or flee. “The rest of you, enjoy the house and grounds...and the kitchen. It’s fully stocked, of course, Ms. Tomaz.” She winks at Zari, then nods to Nate and Nora. “Mr. Heywood, Ms. Darhk, you may enjoy the library. There is, of course, a great deal of history, but also a few intriguing grimoires, Ms. Darhk. Nothing too dangerous, of course. But intriguing.”

As Nora blinks at her, she turns to the uncomfortable-looking Charlie. “My dear shifter, there’s a music room you might like to see, but, please—take care. Some of the things are rather old. There’s a full music library too, and I believe you’d enjoy that.”

Then, she turns to Constantine, who looks just as uncomfortable but who is just as clearly trying to conceal it under an insouciant smirk and a cigarette dangling from his lips. In a blink, though, the cig is gone, tossed into a wastebasket, and the mistress of the Refuge and the warlock called the Hellblazer consider each other for a long moment.

“Oh, my,” Mary says after a moment, though there’s amusement in her tone. “You’d best come with us, then. Less likelihood for trouble.” She claps her hands, and turns away, leading the bemused group of five Legends toward the stairs and upward as the others mill about.

The office is small, lined with shelves filled with books and other interesting objects, including an odd tool that looks a bit like a screwdriver and curiously draws the eye. Leonard’s fingers twitch, but he has a distinct feeling that if he tries to steal anything here, he’ll most certainly regret it. Instead, he parks his hip against a wall, folding his arms, right by the chair that Sara promptly takes, backing up her role as the current captain of the Legends.

Constantine drops into the other chair with a huff, slouching into it and putting his feet up as if to broadcast his irritation at being here. Mary Xavier rolls her eyes at him, then looks at Mick, who’s studying the shelves, and smiles.

“Hello again, Mr. Rory,” she tells him, giving him a smile. “I can tell you, at this meeting, that I enjoy your books very much.” The smile turns a touch sly. “There are copies in the library, although I do keep certain ones away from the children.”

Mick blinks at her. “Uh,” he manages. “Thanks.”

Mary glances around. “I do wish Gideon had come to the house,” she says with a sigh. “But...she’s afraid she’ll see young Michael, I’m sure.” She shakes her head, then moves behind the desk, takes a seat, and studies them.

“Well,” she says after a moment, “I knew you’d be coming. But the question is, is it not, why?”

She stops, waiting for a response right then and there, with an air of listening that’s more than the surface question seems to call for. Leonard hears Sara take a deep breath and glances down at her, noting the concern and worry on her face—but also the determination.

“How,” she says, carefully, “do we break the Time Masters’ loop without breaking time?”

Mary considers her—and then she smiles.

“Now,” she says with satisfaction, “that’s the right question. There are many smaller questions within it, of course, but that’s the right question at this time.” She nods. “There’s so much I could tell you, and we could get bogged down in it for days, but that’s the point of it all.”

“Then...there really is a loop?” Raymond blurts out. “Druce is right? He’s supposed to create the Time Masters from the Time Bureau?”

Mary glances at Mick, who shifts uncomfortably. “There is,” he says shortly, glancing at Sara. “Sorry, Boss. I didn’t get a chance to say back on the ship, but I matched a few people in the Time Bureau records with Time Masters.” He shrugs. “Travis O’Connell...Liri Lee...Ryder...Rayak...Jia Chén..." A shadow crosses his face. "Walker Gabriel. Couple others. With Druce, that’s more than half the High Council.”

Mary inclines her head. “Yes,” she says simply. “None of the High Council passed through my doors as children. They all came from the Time Bureau. Everyone since, however, has been brought to me by the originals, to raise up to become new Time Masters.”

Leonard glances at Sara again. The look on her face is blank and careful, but she nods. “What about Druce?”

Here, the other woman hesitates, just a little. “I don’t know,” she says finally. “I suspect he found himself a traveler in time through some other means, first. Before wrangling this loop to his advantage.” A pause. “He is...very old. Not older than me, of course, but old.”

Leonard eyes her, wondering, but Sara clears her throat. “ ‘Zaman’ is ‘time’ in Turkish,” she muses. “I don’t know about ‘Druce.’ ”

“I believe it to be a bastardization of a word for ‘druid’ in a very old Celtic language,” Mary tells her. “But when I first encountered him, he called himself ‘Archontas.’ ”

Constantine finally speaks. “ ‘Lord,’ ” he points out. “In Greek.”

Mary inclines her head. “Yes,” she acknowledges. “The grandiose adopted name of a child who grew up with, and as, nothing.” She sighs. “Whatever else he has been, he has always insisted on turning similar children into new Time Masters, giving them the power they never would have in their original homes. I have always wondered about that.” A shake of her head. “But enough of that. We were talking about time loops.”

She sweeps some of the books on her desk to the side—Leonard notes at least one by Rebecca Silver there, to his amusement—and pulls a large pad of paper toward herself, picking up a pencil with her other hand.

“The Time Masters, who have also been called the Linear Men, talk about ‘preserving the timeline,’ as if there’s only one true way for time to flow,” she says, drawing a flowing line around the borders of the top sheet. “Part of that is control, of course. They believe they’re more well suited than any others to determine what the so-called ‘proper’ timeline is.”

She studies the simple drawing, then looks back up at them. “Of course, not only are they rather misled in their drive for control, they’re not quite right about time. They look at time as a line, a singular pathway, when, actually, it’s more like...”

Mary pauses, a slight smile lingering at her lips. Leonard waits, glancing at Raymond, but when the other man doesn’t speak, he sighs, thinking about what the object on the bookshelf had reminded him of.

“...a big ball of, oh, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff,” he finishes for her, drawling the words. “Right?”

Mary’s eyes crinkle at the corners as she smiles at him. Raymond makes a startled noise and glances at him, as does Constantine, the latter with an appreciative chuckle. Mick grunts, and Sara merely lifts an eyebrow.

“Correct, Mr. Snart,” Mary says, inclining her head to him. “It’s not really set, and it’s not meant to be contained, not really.” She pauses. “Are any of you familiar with the concept of Hypertime?”

Raymond just about bounces in his chair. “Oh! Oooh! It’s like a…a web of timelines, right?” He glances around at the others. “Well, it’s sort of just a theory, but it’s an interesting one. It holds that there’s not really one true timeline, just like Ms. Xavier said.”

Mick snorts. “We know there are other Earths, Haircut,” he says. “Skirt’s from one of ‘em. Leo, too.”

Skirt? Leonard wonders briefly.

“No, it’s not quite the same as the Multiverse,” Raymond starts, but Mary looks up a hand, looking amused.

“Dr. Palmer, you’re correct,” she says, “but if we start getting into that…well, we’ll be here longer than we really should be.” Raymond makes a disappointed noise, and Leonard hears Sara chuckle quietly before she leans forward.

“So, what are you getting at?” she asks, in a clear bid to help Mary steer the conversation back. “This…Hypertime?”

Mary gives her a smile. “Well,” she continues, “think of Hypertime as the aforementioned ball of timey-wimey stuff. Timelines branching and reconverging and so on. Not the separate Earths of the Multiverse, but real in their own way nonetheless.” She pauses. “The temporal computer that the Time Master call the Oculus isn’t a bad thing, in and of itself. It allows for study and for pinpointing true problem spots and clearing up tangles. A window, not a weapon. But the Time Masters—as you know, they used it to control, and to bend people’s lives to their will.” She shakes her head. “And that…that never works out fully as the people doing the controlling think it will.”

There are no strings on me. Leonard smirks a little, and he thinks he sees her wink as him.

“So,” Mary continues. “In fact, perhaps the Oculus should exist. But the Time Masters…” She nods, once, in the silence. “Break the chain,” she says, and it’s almost a command. “Find a crack in what’s supposedly meant to happen. One little crack is all you need to start it.”

Raymond sits up straight. “But won’t that ruin everything? Rip won’t recruit us if there’s no Vandal Savage, no Time Masters.”

Constantine nods. “One little crack…that’s caused a lot of trouble,” he says laconically. “Broken nations. Worlds. More.”

Leonard feels a chill run down his spine as he glances at Sara. Despite everything…he doesn’t really want to undo the past five years, doesn’t want to go back to what he was. He glances at Mick, who looks blank. No, Mick wants to do that even less, if possible.

“But that’s the point, in a way. Of Hypertime. If you do this right...” And for some reason, Mary’s watching Leonard intently here, and he shifts uncomfortably. “...you’ll unmoor the time going forward from the past. Separate it. Time will move on as it will. And the past is another country.”

“They do things differently there,” Mick murmurs, unexpectedly. Mary nods. Constantine hums thoughtfully. Raymond sighs. And Sara and Leonard look at each other before looking back at Mary.

“But…how?” Sara asks intently. “Do what right?”

But the older woman shakes her head. “I’ve said enough. It’s up to you now, my dears.” She stands. “Too much and I…I risk controlling too much myself. And I cannot do that. I cannot interfere to that degree.”

Sara opens her mouth to retort, but Leonard—who has certain admittedly ridiculous suspicions—does first.

“Why did you agree to work for them?” he asks, regarding her. “The Time Masters. If you disagree so much with what they are.”

Mary sighs, then gives him a small smile, as if she knows precisely what he’s doing. She probably does.

“I’ve been through enough war. Someone needs to care for the children,” she says quietly. “To teach them. I knew that, in time, that could change everything.” She nods. “And it did. One of those children, Michael Carter…Rip Hunter...became the man who brought you all together.”

#LOT fic #captain canary #I don't believe in destiny #legends of tomorrow #sara x leonard

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jennifersylvesters · 6 years ago

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Can I please have a 68 and 71 with Peter Parker 🤗😁

i cannot believe you really asked for those two prompts with those smiling emojis knowing full well this was going to probably be angsty. you wild, anonny. i’m sorry that i can’t write action sequences to save my life, so please forgive me for that. per the usual, bullets points and blurbs. also this is gonna be a superhero!reader x peter parker

68. Heroic Sacrifice / 71. Twenty-Four Hours to Live

You never expected to get scouted to potentially become a part of the Avengers. It wasn’t like you were aware that Maria Hill kept tabs on you, watching to see your progress. So when Nick and Maria “stopped by your place” as they so nicely put it (not at all breaking in and entering), you were a little wary at first. Because truth be told, you didn’t trust the Avengers.

You had seen the destruction that they caused in the past. You were young when the Avengers first teamed up; Captain America actually saved you, causing you to forever be in awe of the man. But you heard how friends’ parents would discuss how the Avengers needed to be put in check with how much damage they created. You saw how they worried about superheroes rather than embraced them. Which is why you tried keeping your powers to yourself when you realized you had them.

Personally you didn’t think anyone would find out. Occasionally you’d save a person or two, but it wasn’t as if you did it frequently. Keeping your powers in check was hard to do, especially when there wasn’t anyone around to help you out.

When Nick offered the chance for them to help guide you, your interest was piqued. It was the only reason that you were interested in becoming a recruit. If there was a possibility of controlling the powers, you wanted it so badly. But neither of them seemed trustworthy to you. How could you believe in the stern woman and the stone faced man?

And that’s when you met Spider-Man. He came a couple days later after your meeting with SHIELD, swinging by your place and accidentally terrifying you. In fact, you almost punched him in the face if it hadn’t been for his Spidey senses. He told you how Nick had sent him down to talk with you. At first, you were cautious of the hero. But he was good at calming you, making you feel comfortable around his presence.

“It’s hard doing this thing by yourself. I should know” he mumbled to himself. You asked him about it, and he told you how he just knew he needed to help out others when he discovered his powers. It was a similar feeling towards your own, wanting to protect those around you who didn’t deserve to be attacked.

And when he encouraged you to join, you couldn’t help but say yes. If someone as caring as him was around, you were willing to trust this organization.

A couple months later, you were surprised to find a home within the group. Everyone was so kind to you, understanding the struggles of not feeling in control. You formed a bond with Wanda, her calming you down when you felt like you might lose control. She knew what you were going through, refusing to let you deal with it alone. But it was Spider-Man who could always help you keep your powers in check.

It was shocking to say the least when you found out that Spider-Man was actually a native from Queens named Peter Parker. You had just been walking by his room in the compound when he yanked off his mask. You backpedaled, jaw dropping to see a cute brown haired boy shaking out his curls. His face paled when he caught you staring. “So, um, yeah. Hi?” he said nervously.

from that moment on, you became close with peter. you hadn’t realized that he actually lived in nyc like you did, which was nice knowing your good friend was nearby

so the two of you actually end up hanging out with one another not as teammates but as friends. and you like hanging out with peter parker more than you can even explain

because peter parker goes onto science tangents and then gets embarrassed when he realizes he’s been rambling. and he apologizes, but you always remind him he doesn’t need to apologize for that. but he always does anyways

he loves talking about his aunt may and his friends. and he talks about them with such excitement that you can’t help but be stoked when he introduces you to them

but you appreciate that he makes you feel special. he whispers about how it’s so cool that the two of you guys are real avengers “we’re not avengers yet, pete” he doesn’t belittle you or make you feel like you’re not as good as the rest of them. he encourages you, helping you figure out things logistically when you feel your temperature rising

sometimes you let yourself more invested in peter parker rather than spider-man. because peter parker feels tangible, someone you can actually relax around without having to think about your powers or the villains in your life

except that’s the thing - there are always going to be villains causing chaos and both of you need to be there to stop it. relationships will just make things harder.

so the sinister six have teamed up together to try and destroy nyc. it’s a “what else is new?” scenario, except you weren’t expecting that many bad guys.

they keep upping up the chaos, forcing everyone on the team to secure different locations and take down each individual villain

but things take a turn for the worse when mysterio announces that they released a toxic gas into the hospital, killing everyone in the next 24 hours if the sinister six’s demands aren’t met

none of you can figure out who has the antidote and what’s more, there’s not enough time to figure it out with all the boroughs getting destroyed

by the time you guys figure out that doc oc has the serum, you’ve only got an hour left

since you and spider-man are closest to where they expect doc oc to be, the two of you team up to take him down in an abandoned building that the sinister six have set up as their base camp. except he’s got newer technology, and it’s more difficult than you expected. it takes both of you to knock him out, but not before he manages to catch spider-man - blasting him with tranq darts in order to electrocute and paralyze him. his web shooters are on the fritz unable to web him out of there

at this point you see where he’s hidden the serum, hidden away in a small compact bag. and once he knows that you’re aware, the fight is on. with spider-man unable to fight, it’s up to you to keep your powers in control as you fight the villain

by the time you manage to knock doc oc out, the building’s in complete shatters. somehow you’ve set off explosions, fire consuming the building. the bag holding the antidote has been cast to the side on one of the high beams, threatening to fall as the structure collapses

but spider-man isn’t free from the net. even when you manage to get it off him, he’s still pretty weak from the poison in his system. as the both of you are rushing to grab the bag and go, he slips. you turn back and quickly grab hold of him, but his body’s heavy as he dangles over the edge and fire

“Hold on!” you urge, trying your best to keep a tight grip on his hand. You refuse to acknowledge how you can feel the grip getting weaker, the possibility of him slipping out of your hands.

“Y/N, you have to let go.” His voice trembles, knowing this is for the best. If you want to save the citizens, you have to let him go and bring the serum to the hospital. You’re wasting precious time, something you don’t have enough of.

“I’m not letting go, Peter!” You can’t call out his alter ego knowing that this isn’t Spider-Man’s life in your hands; it’s Peter’s. And Peter’s life means so much more to you than he’ll ever realize.

“You have to.” How he sounds so sure of himself is beyond you. What’s worse is how you can see the look in his eyes; Peter doesn’t want to go. He has so much to live for, so much to accomplish. He’s the hero of New York, but he’s so much more than that. He’s a symbol of hope to those who need it.

And you don’t want him to go. Because there’s so many things you still need to tell Peter. This isn’t the right time to reveal your feelings, not when his life hangs in the balance of your hands.

“Backup will be here soon! Peter, please hold on. Please don’t let go. Please!” you plead, tears forming in your eyes. You do your best to blink them away, but it just blurs your vision.

“I love you, Y/N.” These are the words you’ve long to hear, but you didn’t want to hear it in this context. He pulls his hand free, free falling as he takes one last glance at you.

You scream out, desperate for him to come back. The tears pour out as you continue to yell out his name, wanting to follow after him.

But you know this isn’t what he wanted. If you do that, you’re only ruining all the effort that he’s done to protect the city and you. Your body feels heavy as you rush over to grab the serum and take off. By the time you stumble to the hospital, you quickly hand the vials over to Bruce so he can start work on distributing the antidote.

They ask you about Spider-Man, and you just shake your head. You can’t look any of them in the eye. Because how do you tell them that a part of you died just like that? You feel nauseous, replaying the moment over in your head. You keep asking yourself what you could’ve done to save him, why you didn’t take out Doc Oc first? Wanda can see that look in your face, and she takes you away from the rest of them.

“Are you alright?” Are you? Tears build up again and you finally look up at Wanda’s concerned face.

You saved the day, didn’t you? You kept your powers in check? And while you’re so glad you saved so many, you can’t help but weep that you couldn’t save the one person you treasured most.

#asks #my writing #Anonymous #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker blurb #marvel fanfiction #marvel blurb #marvel imagine #only one last ask prompt to go!

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sanctferum · 7 years ago

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Steven Universe – Legs From Here to Homeworld reactions

Another episode so soon! Here we go…

First of all, I’m gonna hazard a guess that the legs in question refer to Pink’s ship. Pretty obvious, I suppose.

OK, starting the episode now…

Hey Blue! Crying as usual…but these are tears of happiness.

Blue’s aura apparently runs on strong emotion in general, not just sorrow, cause everyone else is still affected. (Except Connie)

Garnet would obviously not wanna trust Blue. Surprisingly, when it comes to not attacking the Diamonds, Bismuth is a voice of reason. As opposed to the exact opposite.

Meanwhile, Yellow Diamond has telekinetic powers of some sort that she’s using to retrieve her ship. It’s not going very well, and the ship is not in very good shape even if she did get it over to where she is.

The ship just keeps falling apart the more she tries. RIP hand ships (and the barn and Rose’s sword, while we’re at it). I wonder if Yellow Pearl is inside?

Aaaaand, “Pink Diamond” interrogation time.

Yes, please stop with the tears, Blue. Even Yellow is aggravated. (And notably affected by Diamond powers despite being a Diamond herself. We might’ve already seen that at the trial on Homeworld, though, I’m not sure.)

Steven they’re not gonna know what a mom is, or that you and your mom aren’t quite the same person.

“[Pink/Rose] kept it secret from everyone.” “AHEM.” “Almost everyone.” I love that Pearl is so offended by the implication that Rose didn’t confide in her (not that she needed to).

Yup. There’s the catch. For all intents and purposes, Pink Diamond as the other Diamonds knew her is as dead as they thought she was beforehand.

“I’m sure your memories are in there somewhere, Pink.” “Actually, I go by Steven.” This is gonna be Jasper calling Steven “Rose” all over again, isn’t it

Next topic of discussion: How did Pink Diamond survive? Even if she wasn’t shattered, she was still on the surface of the planet when the Diamonds unleashed their combined powers. I saw the preview for this episode at the end of Reunited, so I already saw a bit of this discussion. I don’t remember if I pointed this out then, but apparently the Diamonds didn’t intend the corruption to be a thing. They thought their powers would just straight-up wipe out everything. But it didn’t affect anything or anyone besides the gems, and they weren’t shattered, just corrupted. Hmmm.

Field trip time, to the Nephrite drop ship! Steven opens up the door and Centipeedle comes out, and Steven bought that one brand of chips Centipeedle really liked, too.

Funny you should ask that, Yellow. You, Blue and White are all responsible for what you’re looking at right now.

Steven gets Yellow to agree to try and help Centipeedle. She lifts Centipeedle up, channeling energy into her, and…huh. It seems to have worked. (For now.)

Nephrite’s insignia shows that she wasn’t someone bought in by Blue or Yellow, but was under Pink Diamond’s domain. Huh.

Nephrite’s form has been restored, but her mind is still broken. So the theories were right – Yellow’s energy was what caused their bodies to become corrupted, and Blue’s were what caused their minds to become corrupted. Then…what damage did White do…?

Indeed, Blue’s touch and energy does nothing to Nephrite’s body, but it does stop her from drooling acid, and causes her expression to change into a serene, less feral one.

But even with her mind restored, Nephrite’s still traumatized beyond belief, and can only cower in horror while repeating the line “No please no, we’re all gonna be…” over and over again. I can’t tell how much of that is related to the actual trauma and how much of it could be because of whatever White Diamond did.

Steven licks his hand and sticks some healing spit on her back, but I have my doubts it will completely undo what happened to Nephrite. Besides the actual trauma being something she wouldn’t be able to get over that easily, Steven has Pink Diamond’s powers, but Pink wasn’t one of the ones who caused this. It’s gonna take his healing in conjunction with all three other Diamonds reverse-engineering their powers to fully and permanently heal the Corruption. And there’s no way the other Diamonds will want to do so for each and every individual gem, especially the ones that, unlike Nephrite, used to be Crystal Gems. There’s gotta be some way for Steven to be able to do it himself, but for now, the power of all four Diamonds combined is the only way available – and one of those Diamonds isn’t even here.

But it does seem to work for the time being–

OK WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FILTHY HOMESTUCK WHO DECIDED HER NUMBER WOULD BE 413

(seriously though, as refrances go, that was pretty incredible)

Nephrite 413’s commander was a Hessanite. Not important or anything, but.

Yeah about that Nephrite…Steven’s right behind you. I wonder if she even remembers Steven from her time as Centipeedle.

And immediately upon Yellow and Blue removing their hands, Nephrite returns to Centipeedle. Perhaps whatever White Diamond did was something regarding not whether their minds and bodies worked, but something regarding whether they continued to work. Did her energy beam thing affect the gems’ stability…?

Aaaaand, nice moment over. Yellow’s back to being annoyed with “Pink”, and Blue’s attempt to calm her down is very condescending towards the life, gem or non-gem, on Earth. And with Centipeedle’s return to being a monster, Steven’s once again been reminded of the horrors of corruption, and of who caused it, and that even with Blue and Yellow’s help, he’s powerless to permanently undo it…

“If it was the four of us…” “Oh no…we can’t let her see this…” OH SHIT WE’RE DOING THIS WE’RE GONNA DISCUSS WHITE DIAMOND

(It’s been an awfully long time coming…)

Huh. Garnet, Bismuth and Pearl all seem somewhat horrified by even the prospect of White Diamond. Pearl in particular…I’m pretty sure Pearl was a gift from White to Pink, so this bodes ill.

“White Diamond isn’t like us. She isn’t even like [Yellow and Blue]…” Pearl…?

“You have no IDEA what she’s capable of.” Yes, that’s why we want to have an idea of what she’s capable of. Tell us more.

Apparently White hasn’t left Homeworld in forever…I can’t help wondering, once again, if that giant statue of her in the Homeworld skyline was just a statue, or whether it was White herself.

Steven’s new mission: return to Homeworld, speak to White Diamond. And with both hand ships destroyed, he’s taken the Diamonds to Rose’s junk pile. You know, where the giant pink knees sticking above the sand are.

“It’s just past these pink pyramids!” Oh Steven…

Steven gives everyone a pep talk, while accidentally activating the ship he’s looking for. “Oh, heh heh” indeed.

Why did the people of Beach City return so soon after the events of last night? Well, regardless, Ronaldo’s taking a video of the event, so now the whole world will know, and be convinced that Ronaldo has a very good special effects team. Which he does not. His special effects are terrible.

Thankfully, the feet of the ship are high heels and not weird pom pom slippers. Thank goodness for small mercies.

OK, so the ship is a pair of legs with a butt on top. That weird statue of White Diamond must be her own ship then – the rest of the torso and the head. I’m not ruling out her literally being the ship yet, though.

Steven’s dead set on going to Homeworld, but this time Connie doesn’t want to be left behind. How she got her parents to let her do this, I don’t know, but they seem supportive enough, if also very worried (as they should be).

Reforging a sword for Connie can wait, since this is gonna (supposedly) be a diplomatic mission. Pearl’s also going! I wonder if Garnet and Amethyst are too, or whether they’re gonna stay behind. Even if they go, Greg can look after things, right? Peridot and Lapis’ gems, Pumpkin, Lion, Cat Steven, what remains of the temple and house, etc. And if Bismuth stays with him, she has plenty of time to make Connie a new sword.

Homeworld does have an atmosphere capable of human survival, weirdly enough.

Doug Maheswaran stop getting distracted by the spaceships’ huge ass

Ah, Amethyst is coming along. Still not sure about Garnet or Bismuth, though.

Amethyst is excited about the prospects of meeting more of the Famethyst, but IIRC all of Pink’s amethysts are at the Zoo? I could be wrong though.

OK, Garnet’s going. Cat Steven and Lion are staying. What about Bismuth?

Bismuth is okay with Steven going if it brings back all her Corrupted friends. But actually joining the Diamonds herself is too far of a thing for her to do. Understandable. Also, Bismuth warns Steven that he’s gonna need to stand up for himself if the Diamonds try anything. Good advice.

Ah, there’s Peridot and Lapis. Or their gems, at least.

So, Greg will take care of Cat Steven, Bismuth will take care of Lapis and Peridot, and Lion will take care of himself as he always does. And now it’s time to leave!

Show some enthusiasm, Yellow? No? OK.

Apparently, the legs are controlled via Steven’s actual legs, once he’s standing in the right place inside the ship.

Steven that is not how people walk! That is ridiculous!

Pearl is just sweatdropping at this

Yeah, I think Pink taking off would have been somewhat less ridiculous.

…Or not. Thanks for the info, Pearl

Steven worries about making a good impression on White Diamond, but Yellow scoffs and says that they’ll be lucky if White even speaks to Yellow or Blue, much alone any of the others, after they drop in like this.

White is a tough customer, sounds like.

Would she really go far as to bubble fellow Diamonds, though? I’m not getting a very good feeling about this at all…

And with that and a few more seconds of reflective silence, the ship arrives. And Homeworld looks in even worse shape than it looked like from the inside. It’s been so hollowed out that what remains of the planet is split in half…

Yellow and Blue make plans to go see White and calm her down, letting the others not be instantly slaughtered by her or whatever.

Garnet hears a sound as the Diamonds start to get up. Cheering?

Uh…I think that’s some kind of arena, maybe? Filled to the brim with members of each diamond’s court, including Pink’s, all arranged by color in a two by two pattern? And yeah, as I suspected, White’s ship has no arms or bottom half.

Yeah, that’s a crowd all right.

Just as Steven starts to think things might turn out all right, an orb emerges from White Diamond’s ship. It isn’t a large orb, so it’d be weird to think White Diamond is inside, unless she’s even smaller than Pink was.

It’s not White Diamond. It’s White Pearl. Perhaps she’s always been White’s Pearl, or perhaps she’s a replacement Pearl after the original was given away to Pink? Or I could just be wrong about Pearl originally being from White’s court. She certainly looks unnerving…are those “veins” where he left eye should be, or fractures?

White Diamond is apparently powerful enough that even the other Diamonds can’t refuse her orders – even when delivered via a Pearl. White Pearl primly dismisses Blue and Yellow, and reforms her orb with Steven inside before taking off back to White’s ship, much to Connie, Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet’s dismay. Immediately upon depositing Steven into White Diamond’s chamber, White Pearl promptly slips back through the wall, vanishing.

And here is White Diamond.

White keeps talking over Steven’s attempted explanation. She’s treating Pink’s rebellion and betrayal like a mere child’s game. Well, Pink was kind of the Diamond equivalent of a child, but I get the feeling she’s like this with Yellow and Blue, too.

“Did you get everything out of your system? Everyone is so relieved.” She hasn’t even heard what Blue and Yellow think about the situation. I don’t think she cares. If she says they’re relieved, then they’re relieved. It doesn’t matter if they say otherwise. And it certainly won’t matter what Steven says…

It sounds like she expects “Pink” to get right back to work being a Diamond. Uh-oh.

Another orb swallows Steven before he can even begin to make his case. And it takes him to what looks like the inside of a Palanquin.

As he looks out from the opening of the Palanquin(?), he can see White Diamond’s ship across the way.

End of episode.

Woah. Well, we’ve finally met White Diamond. And I thought Yellow was final boss material…White’s so condescending, she makes Yellow looks like a warmhearted angel. Jesus fuck I hate her already.

I guess this is the end of season 5? Maybe? Holy fuck.

#Steven Universe #SU #Steven Universe spoilers #SU spoilers #Legs from Here to Homeworld #spoilers

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heretic-altias · 8 years ago

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Things sso needs to update that nobody thinks about

#star stable #sso

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writingguide003-blog · 6 years ago

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Writing Tips: Writing Beyond The 5 Senses

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Writing Tips: Writing Beyond The 5 Senses

Writers are told to ‘show not tell’ almost as frequently as they’re told to ‘write every day.’ In today’s article, Gila Green explains how to go further than just our basic senses.

The most useful way to show what you want to say is to tap into the five senses: touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing and get into the ‘why’ behind each sense.

In other words, you must ask yourself why does that particular character notice the hot waiter in the restaurant, while the other only smells the overuse of bleach in the room, while still, a third can’t drown out the exacerbating pop music in the background?

Once you can answer that question, you can show your readers what they need to know about each character. You simply choose the correct sense you need to get that information across to your readers.

If you choose the right sense, you will have successfully shown not told the reader. Voila!

We can go way beyond the classic 5 senses

But perhaps our hyper-focus on these classic five senses—courtesy of the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, who originally said humans have five senses in his De Anima Book II—has caused us to neglect other senses.

Neuroscience says Aristotle is wrong

There may be as many as 22 to 33 senses according to the latest scientific research. That’s what the neuroscientists tell us and that gives us between 17 and 29 more reasons to celebrate as writers.

The more tools we have in our writer’s toolkits, the wider our range and the more chances we have of reaching wider audiences.

Use your intuition

We intuitively know about many of these ‘new’ senses but most of us neglect to apply these valuable gems in our writing. They can be vital for creating unique characters and character worlds.

As master writer Stephen King says, we want our readers to “prickle with recognition” when they read our writing and what better way than to manipulate some of the many senses most of us instinctively recognize but aren’t taught to identify as universal, human senses.

Equilibrioception

One of the most fascinating under-talked about senses is the physiological sense called equilibrioception, better understood as our sense of balance. This sense enables us to walk without falling.

Equilibrioception applies equally to animals and humans. This means a dog or a cat with no sense of balance could provide as much comic relief as a person who lacks a sense of balance could provide tragedy in your writing.

Even something as simple as a character with a cast on his arm or leg loses the full sense of equilibrioception and can be used by an adept writer as a unique handicap in a story.

When we lose our equilibrioception we feel sick.

Consider riding on a merry-go-round. A disturbance with your sense of balance can make you feel nauseous, dizzy, or disoriented. This could apply equally to a character who has overdone it in an amusement park as it can to someone with Alzheimer’s or vertigo.

In fantasy or science fiction, there are endless possibilities you could explore by playing with a character’s sense of balance. A magic wand in the wrong hands might disable everyone around them; no one could catch the villain if no one could chase them.

Magnetoreception

A second fascinating sense is called magnetoreception. This is the ability to detect magnetic fields to pick up direction, location, or altitude.

Roughly 50 different animal species that we know of use the Earth’s magnetic fields to get around. These include birds, insects, and mammals, including mice and bats.

This sense would come in truly handy when you’re trying to get somewhere, especially if you’re lost in a dark forest, in cold outer space, or in a magical maze.

There is a myriad of ways these senses can be applied to fantasy, sci-fi, magical, and horror. Magneto from Marvel’s X-Men comics is probably the best-known example. For anyone not into X-Men, Magneto can generate and control magnetic fields.

Detecting magnetic fields, altitudes, and locations can be used by writers who stick with realism, too. We do have a mineral called magnetite in our brains and bones. Who knows? One day scientists might figure out that humans can detect magnetic fields, that scientist might be the main character in your next novel.

No sense of time

A third neglected sense in much of our writing is our sense of time. The ability to perceive long vs. short periods of time passing may come from two different parts of our brain, but either way, it’s a great sense to manipulate in your writing.

Who doesn’t have it? What are the stakes?

When did you last read a book in which one of the characters couldn’t track time? Never?

Yet, it opens up so many possibilities for unforgettable, relatable characters we can all empathize with. All of us know at least one person who doesn’t seem to have any sense of time.

I’m not even talking about toddlers who lack the brain structure to even comprehend a sense of time. Yes, little kids really do live in the ‘now’. Emotions often run high around people big or small who have no sense of time and that makes for great drama in a novel.

I used the sense of time as a writing exercise in one of my classes and one class participant based an entire short story around it.

She wrote about an American couple who longed to move to Mexico because they couldn’t fit into their time-conscious American society. They were forever losing jobs and missing appointments because they just couldn’t get it together on time. Ouch!

In the end, they couldn’t even escape a society they felt at odds with because they missed their flight! There was a general sense of recognition in the writing class and you could see the writer had tapped into something universal.

Proprioception

Proprioception is another sense you may not be able to define and that you should add to your writer’s toolkit.

Proprioception is the ability to distinguish your body from the rest of the world and move it (i.e., we can scratch our feet without looking because we know where they are).

What about a character that lacks proprioception? What if that character was a famous football player who suddenly loses his sense of proprioception? How devastating for any career but for athletes in particular.

Can you think of other ways proprioception can be used as a dominant sense in a novel?

Sense of effort

Before we pick anything up, we have a sense of how much effort will be required to successfully lift it. If you take a deep breath and prepare yourself to haul a heavy suitcase only to discover it’s empty, you are momentarily thrown off balance.

This is an excellent sense to take advantage of in children’s writing. For me, this immediately makes me think of young children who miscalculate the effort it takes to throw things and who go tumbling backward or flying forward. You can explore this sense yourself and see what you come up with.

A new take on old senses

Though I encourage writers to apply under-used or never-used senses to liven up their writing, it doesn’t mean the classic five are in the clear. At least two of them need to be revamped: smell and taste.

We can smell a lot more than roses

Here’s some information about our olfactory sense that you can use to apply the sense of smell in new ways in your writing.

You can move way beyond sweet, spicy, and citrus perfume, a trillion scents beyond, in fact. Yes, humans can sniff over one trillion scents, including fear and disgust (through sweat).

And there’s a reason why your mom was always telling you to wash your runners. Women do have a superior sense of smell. Consider that the next time your heroine walks into a laundromat or a gym.

We eat therefore we write

Everything I wrote about smell applies to everyone’s favorite sense: taste. Don’t be afraid to explore beyond the standard sweet, sour, salty and spicy (crunchy peanut butter anyone?).

Scientists are split on whether we can taste savory (cheese, meat), fat, and calcium. There’s no reason why writers should be.

Why not have a heroine who can’t bear the taste of fat or calcium engaged to be married to someone whose greatest love is to cook for her using many fat and calcium-filled ingredients?

This is a nice change on the character with the sweet tooth, which I admit, I’m guilty of using in more than one novel.

When it comes to the classic 5 senses, I need to swallow some of my own new advice.

Could expanding your use of characters’ senses change and improve your writing? Please leave your thoughts below and join the conversation.

Gila Green is a writer, editor, and EFL teacher. Her four novels include White Zion, Passport Control, King of the Class and No Entry (the first in a YA series). She does most of her writing in a converted bomb shelter overlooking the Judaean Hills, which were once the heart of the Kingdom of Judah. She teaches creative writing online at WOW-womenonwriting. Follow Gila on social media via: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn.

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Writing Tips: Writing Beyond The 5 Senses

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