#weird at last
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I’m still stitchin 💪🧵🪡
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I entered this little planter into a juried show, fingers crossed it's accepted, but my escapism art may be a bit too whimsical for the serious gallery art world 😅 wouldn't hurt my feelings if it didn't, it just helped me get out of my head for awhile.
I'm not sure if this still counts as inlay because of the way I finished it, but it was drawn by carving channels for the glazes to keep the likework tight. I have just been using stroke and coat lately because it's dependable and fun to use.
Want to play more with illustrations on pots, but I have had the worst art block. May try to do some cheap digital commissions or requests to get my gears unstuck.
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My company is doing spirit week where we can celebrate local colleges and yes I am wearing my Night Vale Community College top why do you ask
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LINKTOBER DAY 20: ZORA WELLSPRING
Sidon plays packhorse. Link and Zelda play with electricity and water. Everybody leaves happy except for the fried aerocuda.
(Something’s in the water temple.)
This is a self indulgent totk au called Familiar Familiar where link and zelda travel through upheaval hyrule! Masterpost can be found here:
Patreon here too, if you wanna feed me a slice of bread like a duck
#art#critdraws#lonks diary#familiar familiar au#loz#zelda#link#botw#totk#totk au#botw au#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#sidon#prince sidon#aerocuda#mucktorok#botw link#botw zelda#botw sidon#totk sidon#totk link#totk zelda#look the mucktorok is a genuinely fascinating weird little guy#i may hate that boss fight but its pochita esque pulsating heart thing is COOL okay#anyways the weird gravity thing happens too i just couldnt fit it into the script#((also yes!! those r yonas gifts from the last comic being put in use. everybody say ty yona)#i am never designing architecture ever again get ready for milktoast for the next to regions#loz comic
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autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.
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Into the pit Jeff and Mike finally sleep together in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#mike schmidt#fnaf jeff#fnaf oswald#abby schmidt#into the pit#they are the same guy your honour#two sleepy dudes doing their absolute best#please let them have one good nights sleep#Mike finally has competition of being the most tired#it’s actually really funny how similar they are#just in details of being both scruffy and weirds everyone out etc#they’d get along I know it in my heart#Oswald and Abby would be able to clock it too#it’s funny in my last comic with Jeff people were already saying he looks like Mike#so of course I’d have to draw them meeting#shout out to sleepy guys gotta be one of my favourite genders
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Jon he's really trying here cut him a break
(tumblr crunched the resolution of this comic a lot rip)
#dracula daily#hello im back from the void with shitty dracula doodles#i actually drew this last year but never posted it#here it is now though#count dracula#jonathan harker#Drac reading the english bradshaw guide is still one of the funniest moments in Dracula to me#i know it is supposed to show how he's planning to infiltrate england and appear local#but it really does just come across like he picked it up in a panic and pretended to be reading it when Jonathan came back into the room#and being the weird guy he is thought reading train schedules was really normal behaviour#bram stoker's dracula is a romcom#re: dracula
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metastasis
#artists on tumblr#wolf#animal art#illustration#was feeling weird last night so i drew a 3 headed dog to get some of those feelings out
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Lil bro fell into the Bottomless pit smh!!!! Look around properly next time
#art#fanart#artwork#gravity falls#gravity falls dipper#dipper pines#gf dipper#bottomless pit#changed the backround in last minute because i didn’t like the first one and now the lightning looks a bit weird srry about that… 😓😓
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I forgot to tell this before but what if Bruce has redecorated many of the countless rooms in the manor to adjust to whatever thing his kids like
Dick got a training room for gyminastics, there are bars hanging from the roof, equipment Bruce doesn't even know what's for but that it surely entretains his son and the floor was totally replaced by mats
Jason? "Casually" his room has a secret room attached to it that you can only enter trhu a secret door behind a bookshelf in his bedroom, and "just by chance" it's also another library, that has "secret and censored" books for being controversial in their time, it also just happens to have a skylight and one of those one-way windows
Tim? Bruce made him a dark room, of course he did, that's attached to another room, the light is bare there, and it has two boards, one where you can use magnets and a marker and one for the old red string and tack's
Cass? A whole dance studio that she didn't ask for (none of them did, really) but she appreciates it, mostly because she can use it whenever she feels like it, even the middle of the night because its sound proof
Steph? Unnecesary, she appropiated one herself, later Bruce gave her money to do it whatever she felt like
Damian? One for him to paint, and it's clear he likes it because it's messy, Damian's own room isn't, but his one? Even the big window that lights the room is covered in paint and chalk here and there, the supplies might be ordered by color and size, but not a single one is ever totally cleaned
Duke was told he could choose but if it takes too long Bruce is choosing for him
#batfamily#batman#good dad bruce wayne#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#dont think i showed as much of the last ones as i wanted#my mind feels weird rn
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FALCONIERE SHOP Accessories if you want to support this blog consider donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways
#falconiere shop#fashion#detail#accessories#2024#color: silver#to the people who mentioned chappell in the last post i made about this brand...#you're correct half of the cool weird stuff i find is because i follow her stylist lmao
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WAIT WHAT THE FUCK. I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST NIGHT I DREAMT A JELLYFISH-LIKE EXTREMELY VENOMOUS SEA CREATURE THAT HAD LIKE A HUMAN FACE OR EYES AND THE SPECIES NAME— the species name was something along the lines of “baeve balsamied xerox” (LIKE THE FUCKING PRINTER COMPANY?????), “baeve” was like another word for brackish. I’m now kind of unsure if the middle word was balsamied but it was something like it and the name was comprised of three words and the middle one had the same letter as the first one which we’ve established was baeve.
This sea creature would cause uneasy feelings in people and would often give them the strong urge to pop one of the BBX’s eyes. But you shouldn’t, for an unspecified reason. This would make people even more uneasy.
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“Venom definitely isn’t permanently dead don’t be sad”
I’m not upset Venom died and I’m not worried it’s permanent, I’m mad that their relationship and character development somehow regressed. I’m upset that it looked like Eddie didn’t give a shit that his “best friend in the whole world” just died for his sake in front of him. And instead of giving us any sort of emotional reaction from Eddie we got what looks like a TikTok edit made by a fourteen year old on CapCut. Eddie should have at least, like, cried or something. Though realistically that man should have been sobbing on the ground screaming “please don’t leave me! I need you!” In the first movie when Venom is sacrificing himself Eddie shouts “Venom no!!!” And they had been together for, like, three days. You really telling me that the death of your year long companion doesn’t make you shed a single tear???
Also! All of this is emphasized by the fact that Eddie spent the entire movie bitching and moaning about how much stuff sucked that when Venom died it kind of came across as Eddie being relieved of Venom as a burden on his life. It kind of seemed like Eddie was happy about this outcome and it left a bad taste in my mouth.
#I feel cheated#it felt very weird and out of character for Eddie#no hate to the actors they did all they could I blame the corporation#I don’t want to be to negative because o did enjoy the movie#but this was a huge mistake#idk what they were thinking#venom#symbrock#eddie brock#venom symbiote#venom the last dance#venom spoilers#venom the last dance spoilers
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"Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing!"
(bonus newspaper attacks and fez pets)
#stan pines#stanley pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#gravity falls#the little giftshop of horrors one technically isn't canon#and he immediately rips out her hair a frame after this😭#but it's also the first ep where he calls her sweetie#so it's still a look into his state at this point of the series#....minus the 'would kidnap a random guy cos they wouldn't buy anything'#it's a shame that scaryoke is basically the last time he has adventures with the kids before nwhs cos hes focused on the portal tho#which is funny cos im pretty sure a huge aspect of the 'he knows about weirdness' reveal was so he could have said adventures with them#but i think he only really has that fight with the animatronic badger with none of them around
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My Body, His Choice
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: After a long day, Joel just needs some relief.
Warnings: 18+. Come get y’all juice (consensual freeuse). Unprotected p-in-v. Praise kink. Daddy kink. She/her pussy pronouns. Perverted but ever-respectful Joel.
Note: ‘Púdrete’ means ‘rot’ or ‘fuck you’ in Spanish.
Word count: 2.9k
It wasn’t often he’d fuck you anywhere but his bed.
At fifty-two, Joel was still old fashioned like that.
No matter how hard you tugged on the front of his shirt, begged him gently, baby, please take me right here on the kitchen table—on your desk—in your truck—really anyplace, Joel would shake his head and tote you away to his room. Then he’d blow your back out on a plush and cushy king-sized bed exactly how a gentleman should.
“Wasn’t raised to treat a lady any different,” he’d always say, sucking a breath through his teeth as he plunged his cock inside you from the comfort and quiet of his sheets.
‘Whatever you say, old man’ was your habitual response.
It was one that more often than not ended with you walking funny for the next couple days, thanks to that twenty-something stamina Joel was still able to boast.
So, with sore legs and a warm load leaking out of your cunt every night, you shut up. You didn’t mind being confined to his bed if it meant getting fucked like that. But you would let him know, every now and again or as often as you happened to be ovulating, that there was a freestanding offer for him to just…take, if he ever felt so inclined. The first time you’d said the real word for it, Joel had just smiled and kissed you on the top of your head.
“I’ll sure keep that in mind, sweet pea,” he’d chuckled.
Or, in boomer-speak: ‘No way in hell am I doing that.’
You’d made your peace with it. You’d quit wearing open-gusset undies in the hopes of getting bent over the sink while doing the dishes on a random Tuesday afternoon. You’d put all thoughts of freeuse out of your head and now just waited patiently under the covers at night if you wanted some action on the go. That was more than okay.
And when Joel thundered through the door an hour late one night, you just offered up a smile and a sleepy wave.
“Hi, handsome.”
You were splayed out comfortably on the sofa, and your favorite show was playing in a dim, muted glow on TV. Joel toed off his boots and ducked his head in the closet.
“I said he-llo, you big hunk.”
You regularly alternated between handsome, hunk, and some form of baby or beefcake if he appeared extra large that day. You hadn’t gotten a good look at his form coming in, but you figured you’d give it a stab, shoveling more popcorn in your mouth before returning to Narcos.
Somewhat garbled: “Well hello to you too, babycakes.”
It was either going to piss him off or earn you a big, wet kiss on the cheek—or both, if you were lucky. The words had scarcely hung in the air for more than a second or two, and your popcorn was going down in one slow, crowded gulp, when something fell heavy at your feet.
Your legs were stretched as far as they would go to the end of the couch, and Joel had just dropped his weight right next to them. Then he was leaning back, gingerly.
Carefully.
Joel groaned.
“God, he looks stupid,” he said, staring straight ahead.
You coughed. You winced at a sharp, lone kernel that had snagged your throat going down, and when it passed, you sat up and glanced over to where Joel was looking.
All you saw was a sexy, if not slightly anachronistically-mustached man with tight pants and a slutty stance onscreen.
“Javier Peña?” you asked him.
The man’s nostrils flared in response.
“With that stupid fuckin’ Members Only jacket— dumbass aviators, too, he looks like the biggest dou—”
“Joel!”
You blinked at your boyfriend in disbelief. He knew better than to abuse your favorite DEA agent right to your face. At last, Joel met your gaze, and his cheeks tinged pink.
“What? You wanna fuck him or something?” he snapped.
You turned back to the TV and pretended to consider.
“Hmmm…I don’t know, would Agent Peña come home an hour late with no explanation and then start griping about another man’s clothes when I try talking to him?”
“Yeah. And he’d probably backtalk you, too. In Spanish.”
“Púdrete.”
Joel scoffed.
“Oh yeah? Fuck me?”
You raised both brows as if to say, ‘Yeah, dude, fuck you.’
Maybe there was a smile behind your eyes as you said it.
You didn’t mean to give in, or let him off so easy, but there was just no grappling with a man in blue jeans and a sweaty, dirt-sodden shirt giving you a look like that.
His eyes smiled back.
You didn’t protest when Joel muscled his way over across the couch and pushed you back on your side. Yanking your hips to lay flush with his front, taking up most of all usable real estate on the sofa just to lie behind you and curl his bicep around your belly. He nosed against you and inhaled deeply. He hummed.
You spooned and watched Narcos in silence.
“Bad day?” you murmured at length.
“Bad don’t even begin to cover it.”
Joel let out a breath, and you felt it migrate through your skull. The whole weight of the world, or, more likely than not, some dipshits at work who’d cost their team a bid or delayed a project by a week, ten, or twenty, was hanging somewhere close over his shoulders and depressing his whole demeanor. His grip on you tightened even more.
“‘M’sorry,” he said.
“Me too.”
Joel’s fingers seared a string of small crescents in your skin through the fabric of your nightie. Realizing he was pressing in too much, he eased back. Flexed his hand.
“Ain’t no need to be—it’s on me.”
You felt a kiss land on your shoulder. Your eyelids fluttered as a scene of chaos broke out onscreen with some ill-fated raid or other, and Joel’s hand traveled up your side. It cupped one of your breasts through the sky-blue satin material, and just as fingers began to knead—
“I don’t actually wanna fuck Javi,” you sputtered, dumb.
Joel kissed the space between your shoulder and neck.
“I figured.”
Then his index and thumb found your hardening bud and pinched it between them, rolling the skin in soft, languid strokes. That, paired with the movement of lips up the length of your neck, had your head lolling back gently and your eyes struggling to focus on any of the mayhem unfolding in time. You wanted to turn away from it all—meet Joel’s mouth with a feverish kiss of your own—but when your torso jerked the slightest bit, trying to move, the arm around your front kept you pinned to the spot. Joel’s grey, stubbled chin tickled the shell of your ear.
“Keep watching, darlin’,” he mumbled.
A low whine sounded in your throat, a noise Joel was no stranger to. It bubbled up, almost reflexively, and then was swallowed back as by force when his left hand shifted from toying with your nipple to joining the hem of your dress. Your breath hitched when you felt the pads of three fingers make an easy, careless sort of petting motion between your legs. Stroking you gently there.
“‘M’sorry I was late comin’ home,” Joel continued in the same attritional vein, gliding his middle finger between where he felt the seam of your folds through your dress, “Makin’ you wait up, wasn’t too kind of me, huh, baby?”
“D-Don’t mind,” you shuddered, just as the tip of his pointer finger found your clit and made a circle around it with the other two—a torturous loop that lacked just enough pressure to make it feel really good, and teased.
You would’ve liked to press on, were it not for him, again:
“Aw, hell, honey.”
Your eyes snapped open, and fear seized you momentarily. Had something gone wrong?
Instead, when you glanced between your legs, you saw a stain—a crude Rorschach-looking splotch in its place. With all rational thought currently suspended and your brain in a primal fog of just wanting to fuck, you groaned.
“Joel, please.”
You know what to do. You know what you’re doing.
Joel continued to carry on as though he hadn’t heard you. He rubbed the wet spot even harder with his middle finger and let out the faintest trace of condescension with his breath, fanning warmly across your cheek. It was as though you could feel his big, stupid mouth forming a grin behind your head that made you purse your lips together and force back a whimper when he pressed.
“Left a real mess missin’ me here,” he chided, voice low, “Poor thing hasn’t been fucked in…what, twelve hours?”
You imagined the spot growing larger, gaining warmth and wetness and slick from the timbre of Joel’s voice alone. Nevermind the fact he was practically smearing it all through your panties, through your dress; you’d be soaking his hand in a puddle if he didn’t let up soon.
“Then fuck it again,” you gritted, hips stirring.
“But you’re so busy watchin’ your new man, I—”
At the last, you bucked pathetically against Joel’s hand.
“Don’t want him, Joel,” you moaned, “I need you.”
With what little strength you had left, you tried to turn your body to face the man behind you. He didn’t let you.
In fact, his hold constricted all the more unforgiving, and his right arm curled around your front from underneath you while his left hand took the plunge beneath your dress, finally. It was as torturous as it was fused with any pleasure, though, as his fingers made a pass through your panties, between your folds, and into your heat with little warning at all. Just a kiss to your cheek and then two thick fingers working inside your cunt all at once. You writhed at the stretch, and Joel nosed you again.
“I said you’re busy, baby,” he shushed, “Keep watchin’.”
Keep watching.
Like that wasn’t the most nonsensical instruction he’d ever given you, with his arm twisted over your front and his face in your hair and his fingers pumping in and out.
In and out.
“Don’t care about the fuckin’ show, Joel,” you keened.
He brushed the heel of his palm against your clit, and you could’ve cried from the sheer influx of pleasure.
“Sure you do, sweet pea, you’ve just been so—”
Joel pressed another kiss to your cheek and kept going.
“—busy, lately, it’s only fair I get to have my way, hm?”
Oh.
Oh.
You hadn’t heard his belt come undone. You were so focused on your own pleasure, and getting it fast, that you hadn’t stopped to consider for a moment whether Joel might be testing his ‘free pass’ after all this time.
And, as if to dispel any doubts, Joel kissed your shoulder.
“C’mon, baby, let me use this pussy how I need to.”
He couldn’t have made your body any more pliant and willing than if your limbs had been made of wax.
It was all happening like a dream, almost too good to be a real, flesh and bones man with his hand in your panties, your man, pulling the fabric aside and making you lie on your side while he tapped the head of himself right there.
The hand that had once been toying with your clit was now lifting your knee, parting your legs to make space for him behind you, just outside of you—sliding his dick back and forth at first while he left trails of kisses down your skin. You could cum from the friction of that alone, the little squelches of his skin on yours and the fact that you weren’t in a bed, for once, and he was doing it now. He was making use of your body and cherishing it whole.
In spite of that gaping chasm between you in strength and size, he was obeisant, in a way. Painstakingly slow.
“This okay, baby? Can daddy fuck you right here?”
Joel pressed the head of his cock right against the weeping ring of muscles, felt it pulse against him, and groaned. He let just the cusp of your folds suck him in, forming the slightest, shallowest ‘o,’ only for him to retreat, moving his dick back up and down your slit.
You’d already cried and told him, yes, yes, you can fuck me there, daddy, please—but Joel was too busy tilting your head back up to the screen. Making you open your eyes and watch the show, loath as you were to focus on anything else but the soft, steady brush of his member.
“Remember, hon, you gotta stay focused,” he said, too sweet, “Chin up and keep those legs spread for daddy.”
They were. You were. Your head was up, just barely, and your eyes were nearly brimming with tears from just how badly you needed him inside you. You whined when he kissed the side of your mouth, but loved it all the same because it made you feel safe where you were. At ease.
Joel held you open for him, the shelf of his belly nudging at the small of your back and only pressing harder as he sank in deeper. It was a sensation that felt almost foreign, the first inches he’d breached, as he filled you from a new angle and held you close, you whimpered.
“Fuck, that pussy stretches out so nice for me,” Joel let out in a groan, “Feels like she’s made just for me, huh?”
At that, you felt a hand pinch both of your cheeks, forcing your mouth in a little pout as you nodded fiercely.
“Y-Yes, daddy, she’s made for you, all for you.”
One inch retreating, three more pushing in. Joel’s breath was hot on your ear again, and you could feel the soft grey tufts of hair on his tummy fold into themselves against your back as he pushed even deeper. His cock parted the insides of your walls and fucked you open like it was nothing at all. Your eyes stayed fastened on the television screen, but, frankly there wasn’t a thing on the LED display that was registering more than a passing thought. You felt the hand on your face squeeze even tighter, then release. Then your head was tilting sideways of its own volition, and your body was not—being moved by Joel’s gentle thrusts now—and your lips somehow met his in a kiss. One of his moans bled into your mouth.
“Look so. damn. pretty. when you’re like this,” he panted, “Never look better than when you’re fucked out on this cock, don’t ya, sweet pea? Nod your head and tell me.”
You nodded. You told him. Or whimpered it, anyway.
It was exactly the same and somehow nothing like you’d felt with him before: a new place, a new position, but then just the way you were letting him have you was a territory left entirely uncharted for you both. He could take, and take, and take, keep fucking you until his old joints gave out, and you were a vessel for that pleasure. Your body was limp; Joel’s frame was imposing and always holding you up, milking from your cunt what he needed and always praising you for how good it felt.
“My pretty girl,” he murmured, words like syrup. Then, each new one punctuated with a thrust as he sped up, “Gonna let daddy cum inside this tight little pussy?”
And, to his shock and yours, the hole he’d been using all this time grew wetter, more slick, then was pulsing with arousal as an influx of pleasure washed over your body—your brain had barely registered his words before the rest of you was making an even bigger mess of it, welcoming Joel deeper each time as your cunt spasmed over again.
Pressed into the sofa with your hips tilted down, now, you didn’t need to supply a verbal answer, just pulling Joel closer and pleading in broken moans to paint you white inside. He, like you, probably couldn’t have kept it from coming out if he tried. His hands were gripping your body, pushing you down with the weight of his grasp and his thrusts and feeling too fucked out to even know how much of himself he was pouring inside you as he came.
But it filled you to the hilt, all the way down his length.
In fact, there was a moment Joel feared he might’ve stuffed you more full of cum than you could take. You’d just barely come down, still moaning and shaking and dripping with more nectar than you’d ever felt before.
Joel tried to wipe the pussydrunk look from his eyes—terrible and greedy and wanting to see what he’d left—and he was just about to pull out to make sure you were alright, when he felt something grip him. On him and around him, pinching his wrist and squeezing his length inside you, you couldn’t help but turn back to face him.
Your eyes were smiling again.
One hand had just started to inch up his arm, kneading the flesh like you needed something from him then too. Only now your gaze was drifting down to the place where your body and his were still joined, and from that look, Joel sensed there had to be a lot of him there—which is why he was shocked when next you said sweetly, softly,
“Can I have a little more, daddy?”
#UNFORTUNATELY...................I’M INTO THIS 😔#LIKE DISGUSTINGLY SO#AND I’M SORRY IF YOU’RE NOT BUT I NEED TO BE WEIRD FOR A SECOND#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel tlou#the last of us fic#the last of us#tlou
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