#we’ve already borrowed so much from my family and they’re broke too so like???

[lcaspbrak]

can’t afford rent for the 3rd month in a row and our credit card payments are due and our car payment comes out this Friday and EI continues to be radio silent and welfare basically said they can’t help us at all bc they’re booking out til next Friday, by which point they will consider us ineligible for assistance, so we just keep falling farther and farther behind bc no one who is supposed to be able to help us can. I’m fucking exhausted I have nowhere else to turn anymore like?????

[whoacanada]

Zimmerbro AU

Summary: Andrew Phillip Rowe could skate before he could walk, and it wasn’t until he was almost twenty and well on his way to becoming a Las Vegas Ace before he knew why.

a/n: that’s right we’ve got a secret zimmermann brother au based on the fact that Bob was an active pro athlete for almost 15 years before Jack was born and almost definitely had relationships before Alicia. This particular one resulted in a secret love child.

When the call finally went out that year —  a request for players willing to billet the incoming draftees —  Andrew had been the first in line.

His already sparsely decorated guest room had been primed for a new tenant since he’d learned Las Vegas’ abysmal season had earned them the first pick of the 2009 draft. In his mind, Andrew had envisioned a tearful confession. A family reunion nineteen years in the making where he’d finally get a chance to connect with a half-brother he’d grown up learning about through news articles and stats pages.

He wasn’t ready for Jack to pull out of the draft days before the ceremony; wasn’t ready for the claims of an overdose or speculation about suicide attempts. He certainly wasn’t expecting to have to open his home to a young man with limp blonde hair and deep circles under his eyes with the same enthusiasm he’d promised he’d offer to a son of Bob Zimmermann.

Andrew was hoping for a little brother. 

He got Kent Parson instead.

______

“You remind me of my boyfriend.” Kent slurs one night, completely gone on Johnny Walker Blue borrowed from Andrew’s wet bar. “It’s your . . . face.”

“Shouldn’t talk about things like that,” Andrew cautions gently, covering his own surprise. “Never know who might be listening.”

“Who fucking cares? He won’t talk to me,” Kent continues, ignoring him and sniffing like he’s on the verge of sobbing or puking, both options equally unwanted. “They wouldn’t tell me if he was even alive.”

Another unwanted puzzle piece locks into place.

“Jack?” Andrew suggests softly, and Kent begins to cry.

“You won’t tell right?”

Andrew shakes his head no, long enough for Kent’s bleary eyes to focus on the gesture and take it seriously.

Things are different, after that conversation. Not worse, or better, just different.

________

“He’s my brother.”

Andrew admits this one night, for no reason other than that he can.

Kent is across the room, backlit by lights from the Strip, his legs dangling off the arm of his favorite couch as he scrolls through his phone looking for distractions. Parse hasn’t lived with Andrew for almost two seasons, but he still turns up like a bad penny whenever he needs to commiserate with someone who knows his more lascivious secrets. Truthfully, Andrew’s grateful for the company. He’s a pretty genial guy, but he’s always kept his distance, a personality trait he likes to think he shares with an unassuming sibling, but there’s no way to know for sure. The farther Andrew gets from the 2009 Draft, the less faith he has in a reunion that won’t just bring crippling sorrow to everyone involved.

A secret Zimmermann son who actually made it in the NHL. Who has his name on the Stanley Cup, not once, but twice, largely thanks to the spitfire forward lounging in Andrew’s living room.

“Who’s your brother?” Kent asks, not looking up from his phone.

“Jack Zimmermann.”

Kent barks a laugh and rolls his head lazily to smirk at Andrew.

“That’s funny. I guess you kinda have the same chin. Was Marky digging for chirps?”

Andrew has no idea what that means, but he sets down his tablet and says, “No, he’s actually my half-brother. My mom dated Bad Bob in ’84 and got pregnant.”

The lackadaisical smile on Kent’s face falters as his gaze sharpens, like he’s actually looking at Andrew for the first time. Andrew responds by gesturing at himself lamely.

“That’s not funny.”

“No.” Andrew agrees. “It isn’t.”

Kent swings his feet down off the couch and braces himself against the overstuffed leather. He doesn’t look mad, but there’s something too close to disbelief for Andrew to convince himself everything’s okay. It takes a moment, but Kent must find what he’s looking for on Andrew’s face.

“Does Bob know?” Kent asks with that familiar overfamiliarity, as if they both still have some personal relationship with the living legend.

“Yeah. When Mom got pregnant she told him she didn’t want the attention since it was only a fling — ”

“Who the fuck doesn’t lock down Bob Zimmermann?” Kent breathes. “Also, why the fuck did she tell you that?”

“No shit, right? She got him to sign away parental rights, set up a trust, never spoke to him again as far as I know. I didn’t find out until after I signed with the Aces. She didn’t want me to get blindsided if it all came out, but the story never broke.”

“I mean, does Bob know who you are?” Kent questions. “Does Jack?”

Andrew shakes his head no, because he doesn’t think so, and Kent flops back against the cushions, face slack with disbelief; it doesn’t take long for his features to shift to anger.

“You knew this whole time and you didn’t tell me? Even after I told you —“

“Okay, there’s a whole-ass difference between you fucking dudes and and me being ‘Bad Bob’s bastard’,” Andrew bites, curtailing Kent’s imminent hissy fit. Appropriately, Kent closes his mouth, almost pouting.

“Fine. But that’s fucked.” Kent says after a loaded moment of silence. “I’m sorry you’re . . . you.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry you’re you, too.”

“You know Jack’s signing with the Falconers, right?” Kent offers like the worst kind of olive branch, unintentionally telling Andrew exactly what he was up to during that stretch of time between New England games a few months prior. “It’s not public but it’s happening. Ink’s dry.”

“I know. That’s why I told you. It’s gonna be weird,” Andrew swallows, thinking about playing Providence in the coming months.

“Fucking right it’s weird.”

_________

For the most part, the Las Vegas Aces are decent, stand up guys. Even with the accusations of gambling debts and mob connections with the ownership group, Andrew’s never been asked to hit a certain player a little too hard, or to take a dive so the other team gets a shot at a power play. A lot of talk, a lot of conspiracies, ‘Typical Aces hockey’, but there’s no malice. Not really.

Andrew thinks it’s hilarious he plays the game a lot like his estranged father, but he’s not a legend in the making, hell, at this point he’s barely regarded as more than a mid-level, reliable center that can bring home 40 points a season.

Carly whips behind Zimmermann’s back to clip his skate with a stick, dropping a ill advised chirp that sets every player in earshot on edge. Parse is close enough to catch the quiet slur, stiffening like he’s been hit, and Andrew watches Zimmermann recover quickly, steely and resolute. 

Jack has his mother’s eyes — not the warm brown Andrew catches every time he looks in the mirror.

“He’s a fucking goon,” Andrew breathes, gliding up to Jack’s shoulder in lieu of an apology. Zimmermann doesn’t miss a beat, his gaze flicking to Andrew with the quiet rage of ‘who gives a fuck’. Andrew admires his commitment to the game. Coming back after so much, after so long, to willingly subject himself to the same kind of treatment that Andrew knows likely led to his original fall from grace.

“Hey,” Kent ducks his head as he slides up a little while later, mouthguard clenched between his teeth, and asks, “You see his twink?”

At Andrew’s obvious confusion, Kent jerks his head toward the glass behind the Falconers’ bench, to a raucous group of fans all sporting fresh Zimmermann jerseys. Andrew’s gaze drifts along the row of faces, lingering longer on the familiar, handsome couple beside the blonde young man. He may be imagining things — the stadium lights catching a bad angle —  but for the briefest moment, Andrew holds eye contact with his father.

“He’s cute, right?” Kent says bitterly, like he doesn’t have a partner of his own back home.

“Yeah, he is. You gonna do anything about the slurs, Captain?” Andrew counters, earning a stern look from Parson.

“I’ll deal with Carly.”

“Oh, you will? Because I’ve never seen you shut him down before.”

“I’ll handle it.”

Kent’s expression goes stormy, and he gives Andrew a hard shove before skating off to set up for the next shift. To his credit, he does grab Carly by the arm and tell him something that earns a look of displeasure from the larger man, but Andrew knows a verbal warning won’t curtail someone as dead-set in his conservatism as Carly.

The next play, Carly flashes Andrew a toothy smile over the lineman’s shoulder, as if they’re in on the same joke, and his vision goes red.

__________

__________

“Bad Bob’s outside,” Scraps rasps, like whatever brief interaction he’s just had has physically winded him. “He wants to talk to Flip.”

Andrew blinks up from the water bottle in his hands, previously concerned with the pink-stained gauze wrapped around his knuckles. A few of the guys start chirping, but most of them remain silent, still processing the fact that Andrew assaulted one of their own without clear motivation, in defense of an opponent.

“That’s what this was all about? You gunning for a trade?” Sorenson spits from his stall. “Needed to impress Bad Bob by beating the snot out of Carly?”

“Maybe I am,” Andrew sighs, pushing himself to his feet, wincing at the way his jaw aches from the few good hits Carly had managed to squeeze in before he went down. “What the fuck are you gonna do about it.”

_______

Andrew’s grateful he kept his skates on. He needs the boost of confidence that comes with the added height, especially when he finds Bob Zimmermann waiting patiently in the corridor like he’s just another staff member and not the second most recognizable figure in modern hockey.

“Hey kid,” Bob greets, casting an approving, overly-familiar eye over Andrew’s padded bulk and sweat-slick hair. “You can throw a hell of a punch. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy beat the piss out of a teammate before. Off ice, sure, but never during a game.”

His accent is just as thick in private as every interview Andrew’s ever caught live — but his tone is unexpectedly warm, even grateful — when Bob laughs at his own recounting of Andrew’s assault attempt, the sound is light and joyous like nothing in the world comes easier to this titan of a man.

Andrew wonders if Bob can recognize the chin they share beneath a his playoff beard; if there’s any resemblance left in a nose that’s been reset a half-dozen times.

Andrew grew up loved and never wanted for anything. His step-fathers, both of them, had been good men who never left him looking for a father figure. It wasn’t until his twenties that Andrew even realized there was hole where his bio-dad should have been, and not just a regular hole, a yawning sinkhole threatening to devour his entire sense of self, because his biological father turned out to be a man he grew up idolizing as a personal hero.

He’s not mad at his mother, but when Andrew struggles to find his voice — which is bullshit seeing as he’s almost thirty-five and a god-damned professional athlete — he can’t stop himself from feeling like a misplaced child.

“Do you,” Andrew swallows, looking over Bob’s shoulder to see if anyone’s watching them. Finding they’re alone, he rallies quietly, “Do you know who I am?”

Bob’s jovial expression softens into something remorseful, but unfathomably kind. “I do, buddy,” he acknowledges, somehow squeezing three decades of affection into one term of endearment. “I’ve known for some time, now. The whole time, actually.”

That hurts more than expected.

“Does your wife? Does Jack?”

Bob shakes his head, but it isn’t a hard no.

“Alicia knows, and Jack has some idea he’s got a half-brother, but it’s all in the abstract. No specifics. Definitely doesn’t know you play. I wanted to respect your privacy and your mother’s wishes. She let me know she’d told you the truth a few years back and I wanted to give you the space you needed if you decided to reach out. When you didn’t, well, a man makes assumptions.”

Andrew looks down at the concrete beneath his skates and sniffs hard, fighting nasal drip from the smelling salts he’d needed in the third period; or, at least, that’s what he tells himself. “I had a plan, back when — ” he stops himself, looking down at his skates. Bob’s eyebrows lift in curiosity, leaving room for Andrew to gather his thoughts, but he doesn’t take the bait, unable to bring up what could have been just yet. Bob seems to grasp the context after the moment.

“2009,” he acknowledges softly. “Hell of a year.”

“Yeah. It was. Is he okay?”

“What, Jack? He’s leagues ahead of where he was then —”

“No, I mean, tonight. Carly clipped him pretty hard before I got in there.”

“Oh, a little bruised up, but he’ll live. Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Okay.”

Andrew looks down at his bandaged fist and realizes he’s completely forgotten how gnarly his face must look.

“Trainer says I’m alright, but I’m gonna get leveled with a wicked fine, I know it.”

“Was it worth it?” There’s a look of guilty pride on Bob’s face, like the man’s enjoying himself a little too much when he leans in and whispers, “You just did something I’ve wanted to do since Jack was in mites. Fucking lay out one of those fuckers that’s got nothing better to do than bitch because they can’t play,” there’s a moment of hesitation, as if he’s worried about pushing a boundary, before he adds, “How’d it feel to look out for your little brother?”

Pride, it turns out, in contagious, and Andrew feels like he could go back on the ice and do it all over again. “Pretty fucking great,” Andrew can’t help a smile, wincing when the gesture pulls at his split lip.

Bob slaps a hand on Andrew’s shoulder pads, then gets a grip on the back of his head, heedless of his sweaty hair.

“Crisse, you’re a fuckin’ beaut, kid. I’ve wanted to tell you that for years.”

Andrew can’t blame the smelling salts anymore.

__________

Jack clearly doesn’t see his father standing there with red-rimmed eyes, or Andrew in an equally unkempt state, and has no reason to think anything untoward has happened when he offers a handshake and pulls Andrew into a hug, bouncing his free fist off the back of Andrew’s pads. “I owe you a drink,” Jack says decisively when he pulls back, shooting a grin between his father and Andrew. “Can’t believe you did that.”

“More than a drink, I think,” the blonde guy Andrew saw behind the bench pipes up. Jack’s ‘twink’. Boyfriend. Whatever. “Dinner at least.”

“A pie,” Bob suggests tightly, keeping his voice even as he turns to quickly scrub his fist over his eyes. Andrew recognizes the statuesque woman who strides up beside Bob, and one quick look tells him she definitely knows who he is.

“Hello, Andrew,” Alicia greets softly, genuinely. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“You, too.” he says, the tightness in his throat coming out as gruffness rather than emotion. “This is great, but I should go shower and, uh, it was nice meeting you all.”

Bob’s hand whips out and fists the sleeve of Andrew’s sweater, keeping him in place.

“You have plans tonight?”

Andrew debates lying, because he doesn’t know how to move forward from this point, but they’re all looking at him. Waiting. Expectant. There’s too much at stake, and yet somehow — A sharp whistle drags Andrew’s attention back to the locker room. Kent is peeking his head out, and god knows how long he’s been eavesdropping.

“Yo, Zimmermanns. Bittle.”

“Parson.” The blonde says curtly, earning a wry smirk from Kent.

“Flip, we got a presser if you feel like putting a bow on the evening,” Kent’s gaze drifts to Bob’s flushed face, and he adds, “Or, you can shower and slip out the loading bay while I cover for your aggro ass because this is not going to be fun. Your call.”

Andrew looks at the small family surrounding him, his family, and says, “I don’t want to explain.” Kent shrugs and ducks back inside while Bob’s brow furrows in confusion. “I can do dinner, but I don’t want to,” Andrew holds his hands out in front of him, trying to gesture what he means, and Bob snaps his fingers in understanding.

“Ah, ha, I got you, kid.”

“Neat. I’m gonna go shower.”

“We will be here when you’re ready,” Alicia offers. “Take your time.”

“Oh, I will,” Andrew replies before he can stop himself, cringing the second his back is turned because what the fuck could he be any more awkward?

Time will tell.

_____________

.

[punkrockmads]

Found Family

Abby x F! Reader Mini Series

Warnings: Labor and stuff, violence

Chapter Eight; Golden Hour

A baby's first breath starts what is called the "Golden Hour". This is the period of time when a parent will hold their baby for the first time and feel a love like no other.

*NINE MONTHS PREGNANT*

I've been very restless lately, so Abby, Lev, and I decided today would be a good day to take a short walk around the outskirts of town. I smile, listening to Lev talk about this shark movie he found at his "friend's" house. Abby and I walk hand in hand behind him, keeping an eye on our surroundings. The outskirts of town are abandoned but they can still be dangerous if you're not paying attention. Our daughter is due in about a week and Abby and I are thrilled. We've gotten everything prepared. We even spent the past few days painting the walls of the baby's room buttercup yellow. Thanks to Kayla, we managed to find a hardware store that had dozens of cans of paint. As we're walking, I feel a dull ache in my stomach, but I brush it off once it quickly goes away. I've been having these weird little cramps all day. We continue walking for about five more minutes before I feel an even stronger pain. I wince, putting a hand on my stomach.

"Y/N?" Abby looks down at me in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I breathe. "Just the baby moving around." That's when an even stronger wave of pain hits me. "Fuck!" I yell, almost falling to my knees if it weren't for Abby catching me.

"Hey, it's okay. I got you." Abby's eyes search my body frantically. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Abby!" I cry, the pain getting worse. "It hurts!"

"Okay." Abby whispers, moving to lift me up. "Okay, we're gonna get you back home." She picks me up bridal style, nodding at Lev who stands there watching us with a worried frown. He instantly runs in front of us, guarding our path back to the dark green pickup truck Abby borrowed to drive us out here.

The pain continues to get worse, making me bite my lip and grab at Abby's sleeves desperately. "Ah! Fuck!" I scream. "Abby, I think the baby's coming!" I sob, staring at her. She looks at me with sheer panic in her eyes.

"Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" Abby starts to panic, moving at fast as she can without dropping me. "Okay, hang on, baby. It's gonna be okay! We're gonna get you-" I cut her off with a loud scream I physically can't hold back, sobbing into the sleeve of her shirt as my stomach begins to feel like it's tearing itself apart. "Shhh. Breathe, baby. Focus on your breathing." Abby tries to comfort me, following Lev towards the truck. As we make our way there, we hear familiar screams and clicks... infected. Oh shit! They run towards us, too close to catching up.

"Abby!" Lev yells, shooting at infected as he runs. He manages to take down a few.

"Just keep running!" Abby yells back. "We're right behind you! Get to the truck!"

"Abby, they're getting closer!" I warn. "There's too many of them! Put me down, we can take em out!"

"You just focus on the your breathing, Y/N!" Abby's voice is frantic and determined. I roll my eyes, she's too stubborn to realize we have no other choice. I pry her hands off of me, causing her to drop me. I successfully land on my feet, ignoring the pain as I grab my gun out of Abby's backpack. "Y/N! Fuck!" Abby grabs her gun, helping Lev and I kill as many infected as we can. The adrenaline rush makes my heart pound frantically. Once we've cleared a path, Abby grabs my arm. "Okay, go! Go!" She yells. The three of us make it to the truck, Abby helping me into the backseat before joining me. Lev gets in the driver's seat.

"Abby, what are you doing?!" I yell. She should be up front driving!

"Lev, drive!" Abby yells, reaching for my hand. Lev turns the truck on.

"What?! Abby are you crazy?!" I smack her hand away, looking at her like she's grown three heads.

"Lev go! Now!" Abby continues. Lev complies, stepping on the gas.

"No!" Abby grabs my hand, ignoring my yelling.

"Drive, dammit!" Abby yells, squeezing my hand.

"EVERYONE BUT Y/N STOP YELLING, I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!" Lev screams from the driver's seat. Abby and I both shut up, minus my pained cries. That's when I feel something wet. I look down, seeing my jeans and the seat soaked. I panic.

"Abby!" I yell, absolutely terrified. I have no idea what's happening.

"It's okay." Abby assures, squeezing my hand and brushing sweat soaked strands of hair out of my face. "It's okay. Your water broke, it's completely normal." I look up at her, she looks just as terrified as me. "Just breathe, baby. Just like I showed you, remember?" I nod, focusing on my breathing. Lev continues to drive as quickly and as carefully as he can, most likely trying to tune us out. "I'm gonna unzip your jeans, okay?" I can only nod to respond, too focused on controlling my breathing. Abby unbuttons and unzip my jeans, pushing her fingers into my underwear and checking my dilation. I can barely feel it because of all the pain.

"Abby." Tears pour down my face as I look at Abby. She pulls her hand back, wiping it on her shirt carelessly before looking back at me.

"It's okay, baby." She coos. "You're doing so good. You're so strong, baby." She kisses my temple a few times, rubbing my arms and stomach. "We're almost there, sweet girl. Just try to relax." I nod, leaning into her side and focusing on my breathing.

"Abby." Lev calls from the driver's seat. "Small problem." Abby sits up, keeping her arms around me.

"Oh shit." Abby mumbles. I look to see a huge hole in the road filled with water. "Okay, we went the wrong way. It's okay, just take a right." Lev does so, forgetting to slow down. The truck's tires scream against the pavement. "Easy, Lev!" Abby warns as the truck almost completely tilts to the side.

"Sorry!" Lev apologizes. By the time we get back, Abby and I look like absolute disasters. Lev takes a sharp turn into a brick wall, accidentally crashing the truck. "Sorry, sorry sorry!" He yells.

"It's okay. Is everyone okay?" Abby asks, checking Lev for injuries.

"I'm gonna go get help." Lev says, getting out of the truck. Abby helps me out of the truck, carrying me to the infirmary as I cry in fear. Lev returns with Kayla who immediately rushes over to help.

"I got her." Abby says. "Kayla, go to the infirmary, tell them she's in labor."

"On it!" Kayla nods, running off toward the infirmary.

"Lev, go home. I'll have Kayla come get you later." Lev nods, despite wanting to stay and be helpful. Once Abby and I get to the infirmary, a doctor is already preparing a small room for us. She guides us into the room, asking a couple nurses to grab some things. Abby lays me on the bed, helping me pull off my jeans and underwear before covering me with a blanket.

"Abby, I'm so scared." I sob. "I can't do this." Abby takes my hand in hers, stroking my right cheek with the other. A few nurses rush around the room, finishing up their preparations.

"You can do this, baby." Abby mumbles against my temple. "You're so strong. You can do this. I'm gonna be right here the whole time." I take a deep breath, letting myself believe every word she says. Seven hours of painful labor later, our baby girl is born. My head falls back against the pillow as I sob, Abby running her fingers through my hair and whispering sweet nothings against my cheek as one nurse cleans up our baby and another cleans me up. Before I can even realize what's happening, I'm handed a tiny, screaming, pink bundle. I look at our baby immediately crying with joy.

"Oh." I smile, letting out a breathy laugh. My voice is dull and tired. "Oh, hello! Hello, my baby!" I delicately rub her tiny cheeks with the pad of my index finger. Her mouth is open wide as she screams, wiggling around in her swaddle. I never thought I could love something this much until her. Our perfect little girl. "My little girl! Oh, you're perfect!" Abby rests her head against mine, wrapping her arms around me. She watches as I cradle our teeny tiny baby, watching as she slowly calms down in my arms. "You're so pretty! Look at you!"

"She looks so much like you." Abby sniffles, putting a hand on the baby's tiny chest. I look up at her, seeing her huge grin and tear stained face. She leans down and kisses me. She looks at our daughter, tears pouring down her face.

"You wanna hold her?" I ask, moving the baby toward Abby.

"Are you sure?" Abby asks hesitantly.

"Of course, honey!" I laugh a little, feeling more tears fall. "This is our daughter!" Abby takes her in her arms, gasping at how tiny she is.

"Hi, my sweet baby girl." Abby rocks the baby, her tiny size making her muscles seem even bigger. The baby fusses a little before calming down, making little cooing noises. "Momma's got you, it's okay. Mommy and I are here." Abby whispers. "Welcome to the world, little bean." Abby looks down at me in awe. I gesture for her to sit on the bed beside me and she does, allowing me to lean against her side.

"I'm so proud of you, Y/N. You did so good, sweet girl." Abby says, holding me close. "Thank you. Thank you so much. You brought our perfect little girl into the world, baby! She's finally here!"

"I love you so much." I mumble, kissing Abby before looking back down at our baby.

"I love you too." Abby sniffles. She hands me the baby, hugging me tightly. After getting me cleaned up and changed into clean, comfortable clothes, Abby asks Kayla to go get Lev. A few minutes later, Lev walks in wearing a black tuxedo. I laugh, holding the baby as I breastfeed her.

"Lev, what are you wearing?" Abby chuckles, gesturing to his outfut.

"It's my fancy suit!" Lev grins. "I wanna make a good first impression!"

"You're such a dork." I grin. "She's eating right now, but you can hold her in a bit okay?" Lev nods, patiently sitting on the end of the bed. "Abby?" I turn to look at my wife. She looks at me with pure love and adoration.

"Hm?" She hums, brushing my cheek with the pad of her thumb.

"Tell me about the sky bridges again?" I ask with a little pout.

"Alright." Abby chuckles. "Anything for the mother of my child." Abby tells the story about her experience on the sky bridges as the baby eats, a few nurses coming in and interrupting to check on us and congratulate us every now and then. Once the baby's done eating, Abby helps me fix my shirt and I usher Lev over. He sits by my other side, looking down at his tiny baby sister.

"You can hold her, Lev." I say. He looks at me with excitement. "Here, put your arms like mine." I say. He does, carefully holding the baby as I put her in his arms. She whimpers a bit, squirming. "She's saying hello." I smile.

"Hi there." Lev whispers. "She's so little. I love her so much!" Abby and I watch as Lev rocks the baby, looking down at her in awe. "What's her name?" I look up at Abby. She nods, a knowing smile on her face. We talked about names for weeks before finally deciding we knew the perfect one all along.

I put a hand on Lev's shoulder. "Evangeline."

[qitwrites]

|| 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 

Momo is 13 when she gets her first period.

Her parents had talked to her about it of course, told her it was completely natural and normal and healthy, and to come to them when it happens.

What nobody was prepared for was the pain.

She’s in the family garden creating some Lego blocks for herself when a bout of cramps, sharp and intense, roils through her abdomen and up her left leg. It’s so sudden she can barely call for help, and by the time the guards reach her, she’s on the ground sobbing, clutching her stomach and shakily taking in gasps of air.

They tell her it’s a combination of her diet and her genes. The high-fat diet has consequences, no matter how much she uses her quirk to balance it out and her father’s side of the family has a history of debilitating period pains. It’s just really bad luck, or so they tell her.

Of course, this doesn’t deter Momo from her plans of becoming a pro-hero. It’s all she wants. So, it’s what she chases and works for and earns.

The period pains get worse.

Class 1A doesn’t notice for the longest time. Momo is good at hiding it, at hiding how often she uses the loo for the first two days, how much pain she’s biting back in class, how badly she’s performing in training. She practices her smile in the mirror, sits through hours of class and training and socializing with a smile plastered on her face, and screams into her pillow at night. She spends those nights on her bathroom floor, alternating between throwing up and enjoying the cool feeling of the tiles underneath her.

Nobody realizes until Momo doesn’t show up for class one day.

Of course, everyone is immediately concerned- Momo isn’t one to skip. She takes the best notes, has perfect attendance, submits her assignments on time, the works. First period passes like that, and Aizawa even brings it up but nobody knows where she is. She hasn’t messaged a soul or called anyone about anything.

They’re on break after second period when Todoroki finds her on the staircase landing between the first and second floor.

Momo is on the ground, laying on her side. Her hand is in her mouth, blood dripping down her skin as she clenches it tightly between her teeth. Her other hand is wrapped around her abdomen, squeezing tightly. Tears stream down her face continuously, like an endless river. She’s muffling her screams, and it’s almost like she can’t even see Todoroki, her gaze piercing straight through him.

Todoroki is immediately alarmed, getting to his knees in front of her. He looks over her and can’t see any physical injuries, any signs of trauma.

‘Yaoyorozu,’ he says urgently, ‘what’s going on?’

Momo blinks at him, some of the tears dispelling. She finally sees him, recognizes him, and gasps. She pulls her hand away and the tears spill again.

‘I can’t-‘ she starts and sucks in a sharp breath ‘-I can’t breathe. I can’t- there’s too much pain fuck.’ Todoroki raises his brows- Momo never curses. Never. Not even when she stubbed her toe against the dining table and broke it.

‘We have to get you to recovery girl,’ Todoroki says, moving to help her up.

‘Wait,’ she groans. ‘I need- dammit, Todoroki let me borrow your left hand for a moment please.’

Todoroki complies without question, and watches as she takes it and places it on her abdomen above her uniform.

‘As hot as you can go,’ she says, ‘without burning my uniform. Please.’

Todoroki has no idea what’s going on, but he does as she asks. The effect is almost immediate- her breathing evens out, her eyes focus again, her body stops jerking in pain. It’s almost like she’s been sedated.

After nearly 2 minutes of sitting in silence, she gently takes Todoroki’s hand and places it on his own knee. She sits up gingerly and wipes away her tears, smearing some of the blood on her cheeks instead. Todoroki watches her carefully, ready to step in if she asks for help.

‘What happened?’

Momo looks at him with sad eyes. ‘It’s just my period cramps Todoroki. I’m ok, I’ll be alright.’

Todoroki quirks a brow. ‘You’re not ok Yaoyorozu, even I can tell just by looking at you.’

Momo is about to voice another protest when the door to the stairwell bursts open. Bakugou and Kirishima walk through with vending machine drinks in their hands and stop when they spot the pair on the floor.

‘Yaomomo?’ Kirishima shouts, running towards them. Bakugou trails just behind, eyebrows furrowed.

Momo plasters a smile on her face, trying to hide her bloodied hand.

‘What happened?’ Kirishima yells, crouching down with a concerned look in his eyes.

‘I-‘

‘She said it’s period cramps,’ Todoroki interrupts. In all honesty, he never grew up around his mother or his sister, so he has limited knowledge of periods in general. But with that limited knowledge also came the lack of a stigma towards periods in general. He doesn’t think anything of talking about it.

Kirishima’s concerned look melts into one of sad understanding.

‘Oh man,’ he says, ‘that sucks Yaomomo. They’re that bad, huh?’

Momo keeps her smile in place. ‘Really, I’m fine, it’s nothing I cannot handle, I’m ok-‘

A hand, absurdly gentle, pulls her bloodied one away from where she’s hiding it. Momo startles when she sees Bakugou holding her hand, giving her a tight look. He drops it gently and sighs. With a grunt, Bakugou sits down next to her, back leaning into the wall. Kirishima sits cross legged in front of her while Todoroki sits on her other side.

‘My old hag,’ Bakugou grumbles, ‘has period pains. More like period torture, I guess. She threw up every month on the first day. She’d have dark circles from the lack of sleep, and she’d slap hot water bags to her stomach 24/7. She even burned the skin there a few times. Painkillers didn’t do shit, there were no surgical options, not even birth control made much of a dent. She’d just grit her teeth and bare it every month.’

Momo listens silently, her hands slowly unclenching.

‘My moms,’ Kirishima pitches in, ‘are pretty chill with it. Well, Mama’s get really bad sometimes, but mom is usually ok. I’ve seen them bring each other ice-cream or squeeze each other’s shoulders. They sync up a lot too! Mama would always tell me to be nicer to mom, and mom would always tell me to give mama a kiss. They’re both so manly when they battle their periods every month.’ He offers Momo a gentle smile.

Todoroki hums. ‘I admit, I don’t know much beyond the biological part of it. But from what I can see, Yaoyorozu, this isn’t very normal, is it? This level of pain?’

Momo sighs, brushing away the fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

‘I, between my quirk and my genes, I have received the shorter end of the stick. Of course, I have looked into treatments. There’s nothing I can fix with surgery, and painkillers are usually ineffective. I have tried birth control measures, but they interfere with my quirk.’

Momo looks up at the ceiling. ‘I don’t think we talk about this enough, about heroes that menstruate. I can’t stop being a hero on the days I have my period, but sometimes, I’m in so much pain I can’t see straight. I-‘ she sucks in a stuttering breath ‘-I don’t know what to do sometimes. I want to stand on equal footing with my peers.’

Bakugou scoffs. ‘You shitting me? You’re top of the class, your quirk can make fucking canons, you tutored our fuckwit classmates into not failing miserably, and you did it all through this shit? What part of that is not equal with your peers?’

Kirishima nods in agreement. ‘I mean, Mina has some cramps too, so I usually bring her hot water bags when she asks. I read somewhere that spinach is great for period health, so I make us both protein shakes with spinach and banana! She says it helps.’

‘The iron in spinach must be beneficial,’ Momo muses, her face breaking into the first genuine smile of the day. ‘I usually up my iron intake as well. It does help.’

‘You’re right though,’ Todoroki adds, eyebrows furrowed, ‘we don’t talk enough about heroes that menstruate. Plus, the fact that you can’t seem to find a way to manage your pain without it affecting your life is proof that they haven’t put much thought into it, isn’t it?’

Bakugou grunts in agreement. ‘My hag volunteers at women’s shelters and tries to raise funds for pain meds and hygiene supplies and shit. It’s ridiculous. All of that shit should be free. No one asks to have a period every month.’

‘We can change that though,’ Kirishima pipes in, always the voice of positivity. ‘Look at the four of us, talking about it! Yaomomo, I’m sorry.’

Momo blinks, ‘What for Kirishima?’

‘For not noticing! You must’ve been in so much pain all this time, huh? I’m sorry for not noticing and doing more.’

Momo feels something cold press against her arm. She looks down to see Bakugou pushing his unopened drink into her elbow.

‘Take it, staying hydrated helps with the cramps.’ He stands up and brushes his pants. ‘Think you can stand?’

Momo takes a sip of the drink, relishing the cold fizzy burn as it slides down her throat. She takes a deep breath and stands, stumbling a little before catching herself. Todoroki steadies her around the elbow.

‘Can we take you to recovery girl?’

Momo smiles warmly. ‘I’ve been already. We’ve been working together on some remedies. It’ll take time, but I hope we can come up with something.’ Momo hums. ‘I should put more work into this. I can’t be the only hero that faces such bad period pains.’

‘That’s so manly Yaomomo!’ Kirishima beams. ‘I’m kinda dumb so I don’t think I can help with the research but let me know if there’s anything else I can do.’

Momo giggles into the back of her hand and they start moving towards class together. As they reach the top of the stairs another bout of cramps settles into her gut, and she clenches the railing with a white knuckled grip.

The boys stand around, guarding her, supporting her, giving her small smiles and reassuring nods. Todoroki offers her his hand again, and she quickly makes a heating pad and hands it to him, so she can continue to use it during class. Bakugou urges her to drink more water, and Kirishima keeps telling her how manly she is.

When they get to class, everyone crowds around her and she laughs softly, promising to explain everything later. The rest of the day passes by with little incident, and throughout it all, Todoroki takes the heating pad from her, heats it up and hands it back, hour after hour.

They talk about it in the dorms after class, and recounting her episode opens the floodgates for all the girls.

‘I get really bad migraines,’ Uraraka sighs, rubbing at her temples as if in anticipation. ‘It makes the nausea from my quirk even more unbearable.’

Jirou nods. ‘I get you. I have leg cramps, makes it impossible to use my legs during heartbeat surround. The speakers are too painful to use, and I’m never as stable as I’d like to be.’ She gives Kirishima a pointed look. ‘I’ll join you at the gym next time, teach me some leg moves. I want to get stronger.’ Kirishima gives her a huge thumbs up and a blinding grin.

‘My back gives out sometimes,’ Mina says. ‘I have this pain that burns in my lower back on a few occasions, it’s the worst.’

‘I don’t have a lot of physical symptoms,’ Hagakure pipes in, ‘but I do have PMS and depressive episodes. I’ve been trying to figure out a good med balance to fix it.’ All the girls nod at that, squeezing her arms and shoulders in silent support.

The teachers are brought into the loop too, and Aizawa gently berates Momo for not coming to him sooner.

‘We’re here to help,’ he says, eyes the gentlest she’s ever seen. ‘Learn to rely on your teachers more, will you? Such troublemakers , the lot of you.’

Momo makes hot packs for the girls after that, and the teachers don’t blink when one of them passes it to Todoroki in the middle of class as the boy just heats it the appropriate amount before passing it back without so much as a hiccup in his work.

Bakugou sends Momo articles and tips from his mom about pain management and dealing with cramps. He says it’s because he wants her to be in top condition when he beats her for #1, otherwise it won’t, in his eloquent words, mean jack shit. Momo tries some stuff out, happily surprised when her symptoms are even the slightest bit reduced. Kirishima offers to make them all spinach shakes, and they take him up on that every so often, complimenting his limited cooking abilities.

And on the days Momo is back on the bathroom floor heaving into the toilet, Jirou holds her hair back. Mina cuddles her on the couch when her hands are clenched as she bites back tears, and Ojiro sits by her feet, a reassuring presence to depend on if she ever needs something.

They’ve still got a long way to go as a society, but it’s a start. And a damn good one at that.

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

It is I, here to Officially Request™ absolutely chaos All Named Characters Molina Family Board Game Night because honestly? The chaos needs to be freed.

THERE'S SO MUCH CHAOS I'M NOT SORRY.

Have the official sequel to this fic because when @screamin-amuseum requested the first part as "the whole gang + boardgame" I took that to mean All Named Characters playing board games and so here's that continuation. It's so unnecessarily long. It's so unnecessarily angsty??? TW for mentions of Trevor with an eating disorder, nothing graphic though.

I don't know what else to say. This is really chaotic. I can't write scenes with more than two people in them and yet this fic has 13. Hope you all enjoy.

Read on ao3 here:

--

Unfortunately, the Molinas’ extensive board game collection does not actually include Pretty Pretty Princess (it was just a tad bit before Julie’s time).

But on the bright side, she knows someone they can borrow it from. Even if Luke’s not happy about it.

“Why’d you have to invite him?” he complains the second Julie gets off the phone with Nick.

“Because—” Julie barely spares Luke a glance as she passes him on the way to the living room. “We’re borrowing his little sister’s board game.”

“So? That doesn’t mean he has to play it with us!”

Julie rolls her eyes. “Luke, are you seriously still jealous of him?”

Luke lets out an indignant squawk. “I am not jealous . I just don’t like him!” He poofs out and back in again to cut Julie off in the doorway, and she stops out of instinct, never quite sure these days if she’ll end up walking through the boys or into them. “Julie, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re talking about a kid who was literally possessed by Caleb five minutes ago. And you want us to hang out with him? You want to bring him into your house? Where you live? To play Pretty Pretty Princess? ”

Julie gives him the most exasperated look she can muster, trying to ignore the smile threatening to tug at her lips. “Luke. First of all, Nick’s already been to my house, so that argument is invalid. Second, he’s not possessed by Caleb anymore, and the fact that he used to be is only more reason for us to offer him some extra friendship, I’m sure he needs it. And third, I already invited him, he’s on his way, and not even your pouting and puppy dog eyes can change that, so don’t even bother trying.”

Of course, Luke immediately breaks out the pout and the puppy dog eyes, but Julie doesn’t let herself so much as look at him. She pushes past him and continues through to the kitchen, shaking her head in amusement as Luke’s annoyed grumbling fades out behind her.

Her dad’s at the kitchen counter, just hanging up his own phone. He turns when Julie enters and offers her a small smile. “Takeout’s on its way. And your tía’s coming, with her own set of dice, so be prepared for those to be loaded.”

Julie giggles. “Well, I called Flynn and they’re gonna bring some sodas and snacks, and Nick’s bringing Pretty Pretty Princess since the boys were so excited to play it. It’s still cool that he comes, too, right?”

“Of course, mija.” Her dad looks at her for a second, and then away, busies himself with wiping down the perfectly-clean counter. “Did you, uh… Did you maybe want to invite Carrie to join us?”

Julie sighs. “Dad, you know me and Carrie aren’t friends anymore.”

“No, yeah, I know.” He scrubs harder at an invisible speck of dirt. “I just thought it might be a nice gesture.”

Despite everything, Julie finds herself considering it. Sure, she and Carrie are still decidedly not friends , but… they’re not quite enemies anymore, either. It’s hard to be enemies with someone who helped you save your shared ex-love interest from an evil jazz-singing magician ghost. Carrie knows about the guys now and didn’t expose Julie and the Phantoms as a fraud, and she hasn’t been as actively mean to Julie and Flynn at school the past few months.

Maybe someday, the three of them will be able to reconcile, officially. Julie might even want to. But that doesn’t mean she’s ready to have Carrie in her house so soon, doesn’t mean she wants to include Carrie in their first family game night without her mom.

“Maybe another time,” she says, offering her dad a soft smile so he knows she means it.

He smiles back, and there’s more relief and happiness in his eyes than Julie would’ve expected under the circumstances, leaving Julie to wonder why her dad would care about her relationship with Carrie Wilson so much.

An hour later, everything’s all set up, and all the guests—ghost and human alike—have arrived. They’re all spread out across the various couches and floor space in Julie’s living room, all ten of them—Julie, her dad, Carlos, Tía Victoria, Luke, Alex, Reggie, Willie, Flynn, and Nick. The four ghosts are all sharing one couch, the four Molinas another, while Flynn and Nick lounge on the floor across the room because the ghosts still make Nick a little uncomfortable (though Julie’s unsure if that’s because of his stint with Caleb or because Luke won’t stop glaring at him).

Knowing Game Night, the seating arrangements won’t stay as they are for long, as the various games require space or privacy or the occasional team-up. Julie’s certain by the end of the night, her friends and family will all be mingling and getting along.

Since there are so many of them, they can’t follow the usual Game Night rules—everyone picks one game and they play through them all. If they tried, they’d be here all night, and half of them have to go to school tomorrow. So instead, the plan is this: Everyone’s name will go in a hat. Whoever wins each game picks a name out of the hat, and that person gets to pick the next game. They’ll play a total of five, or until midnight, whichever comes first.

The only caveat to this strategy is that they’re playing Pretty Pretty Princess first, and since that was technically Alex’s choice, his name’s not going in the hat (a fact Alex seems perfectly fine with).

Game Number One isn’t nearly as much of a disaster as Julie kind of expected it to be. It’s only a four player game, so they play in teams of two and three: Luke, Reggie, and Julie playing for the purple jewelry; Alex, Willie, and Flynn playing for the pink; Nick and Carlos for green; and Dad and Tía for blue. The only fight that breaks out is when Luke takes the black ring on purpose and then refuses to put it back the next turn; otherwise, the teams work together surprisingly well.

Somehow, despite Reggie’s earlier insistence that Alex is a PPP master, the adults win, and then they insist on splitting their winning jewelry between them even though it’s all sized to fit five-year-olds.

Just as Dad and Tía are celebrating their victory, and Julie and Carlos are having a telepathic brother-sister conversation about how their aunt must have rigged it, the doorbell rings.

“Ooh, I bet that’s the pizza,” Dad says, hauling himself to his feet. He keeps one hand on the tiny plastic crown on his head so it doesn’t fall off.

He looks ridiculous, between the crown, the singular clip-on earring, and the ring just barely stuck on the end of his pinky finger, but Julie manages to hold back her laughter as she stands and says, “I’ll help carry.”

Her dad beats her to the door, only because Reggie holds her back and tries to convince her not to let Luke have any pizza (to which Luke gives another indignant squawk and immediately starts bickering), so by the time Julie catches up with him, Dad’s already got the front door thrown open, and whatever’s on the porch to greet him has left him staring, wide-eyed, open-mouthed, and pale.

Like he’s seen a ghost or something.

“Dad?” Julie starts to say, but the word dies in her throat as she steps into view of the open door and sees none other than Carrie Wilson standing on her front porch.

Carrie looks nervous, and just as pale, as she stares back at Julie’s father, a clutch purse held in her white-knuckled hands.

Carrie says something, quietly enough that Julie thinks she might have imagined it, that sounds suspiciously like, “Hi, Papi,” and then her gaze flits behind him to Julie and her eyes widen. She clears her throat, straightens her shoulders, says louder, “Mr. Molina. Julie.”

“Hi, Carrie,” Dad says after a weirdly long pause, startling like he’s been struck. “What are—I didn’t—” He breaks off and glances at Julie over his shoulder, his expression screaming, I thought you weren’t going to invite her!

I didn’t! Julie shoots back, then trains a painfully plastic smile on her definitely-not-a-friend-but-not-quite-an-enemy. “Carrie, what are you doing here?”

“Sorry to interrupt, I—didn’t realize you had company…” She glances toward the driveway next to the house, where Nick parked his car. “I can leave.”

“No, don’t—It’s okay,” Dad assures her, a little too quickly for Julie’s liking. “What’s—did you need something?”

Carrie shifts her weight awkwardly from foot to foot, looking back and forth between Julie and her dad like she wants to ask Julie to give them some privacy. Julie just plants her feet and crosses her arms over her chest. Like hell is she gonna leave Carrie alone with her dad when he’s already acting weird and she still has yet to tell them what she’s doing there.

Julie doesn’t even remember the last time Carrie Wilson stepped foot on the Molinas’ property. It’s all too weird, like Julie’s stepped out of Family Game Night and into some strange, confusing alternate universe.

“Um… Okay, so, Dad and I were at this dumb charity event at Schaefer’s, and on the way back, our car broke down.” Carrie waves a vague hand toward the street. “Gerald—our driver—called someone, but Dad doesn’t trust mechanics, and I think it’s supposed to storm later, so…” She trails off, blushes, and adds, “We were only a block or so away so I thought…”

Julie’s not sure she’s following. Her dad must catch up quicker because he says, “Oh! Oh, well—well, you’re welcome to wait out the storm here, we’ve got food coming, we’re having a little game night. Why don’t you join us?”

He turns to look at Julie, almost as an afterthought, his gaze somehow pleading and apologetic at the same time.

Whatever frustration Julie might feel at his eagerness to let Carrie interfere with their lives despite knowing how Julie feels about her is quickly snuffed out by the look on her dad’s face, and the equally anxious look on Carrie’s.

Julie doesn’t like this. She doesn’t think putting her, Flynn, Nick, and Carrie in a competitive setting together is a good idea. She really doesn’t think putting Luke, Alex, Reggie, and Trevor Wilson in a competitive setting together is a good idea. She can think of very few scenarios in which this whole night doesn’t turn into a complete and total disaster.

But reconciliation has to start somewhere, and she does, deep down, want to be Carrie’s friend again someday, wants even more to help her boys get their bandmate back.

She takes a slow, deep breath, prays she won’t regret this, and says, “Of course, Carrie. Come join us for Game Night.”

Carrie visibly relaxes, something like a real, genuine smile fluttering around her lips. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll, um—I’ll go get Dad. He wanted to wait in the car, in case you guys… turned us away…”

Awkward silence falls, and Julie can’t understand why her dad looks so sad all of a sudden, but before she can think of how to ask, Carrie spins on her high heels and starts back down the porch steps.

The second the door closes behind her, Dad says, “I’m sorry, did I overstep?”

Julie sighs. Her dad’s always been particularly good with boundaries. And she thinks part of him might miss the days when Carrie was over more often than not, playing dolls and singing with Julie and Flynn. So Julie can’t be mad. “No, it’s okay. But you get to tell the guys the pizza’s not here yet, and the guy who stole all their songs is.”

His eyes widen in horror, only adding to the absurdity of his bejeweled look, and Julie stifles another laugh as she heads back to the living room.

All things considered, it’s not nearly as much of a trainwreck as Julie thought it might be. Flynn loudly declares that she will not be on a team with Carrie under any circumstances, and the guys don’t take the Trevor news well , exactly, but a sharp look from Julie and a badly whispered promise from Willie to do some serious ghost pranking later keep them from actively pitching a fit about it.

When the Wilsons and their driver Gerald arrive, the tension in the room grows so instantly thick and awkward that Julie’s worried someone might actually explode. Carrie breaks it by stalking confidently into the room and plopping herself on the floor between Nick and Carlos like she belongs there. Gerald soon follows, claiming a chair next to Tía Victoria, and smiles politely at them all.

Only Trevor remains hovering in the doorway, pale and shaky, taking deep meditative breaths as his eyes rove across each person one at a time, lingering a little too long on Julie’s aunt, skipping over Luke entirely. Finally, he swallows, winces like it hurts, and says to Julie’s dad, “I didn’t realize you still did these.”

Julie frowns, unsure what that’s supposed to mean exactly, but her dad offers up no explanation, just waves Trevor over to sit on the couch with him. Luke lays a gentle hand on Julie’s knee, leans in close to whisper, “Hey. You okay?”

She gives him a grateful smile, nods. “Fine. How about you?”

Luke shrugs, glances over at Trevor, who’s still very purposefully not looking in their direction, and winks at Julie. “Let’s just cream this guy, shall we?”

And so, Game Night continues.

The three new guests’ names get added to the hat, and Victoria shuffles them around before pulling a slip of paper out.

“Carrie,” she reads. “You get to pick the next game.”

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” Carrie tries. “I just got here, someone else can pick.”

“Come on, Care,” Nick says, nudging her encouragingly. “Them’s the rules.”

“Your name came out of the hat,” Julie agrees, attempting a smile. It’s the closest she can get to a peace offering. “Pick a game.”

Carrie scans her face a moment, like she’s searching for any hint that Julie’s being mean or ingenuine. She must not find any, because she says, “Okay,” and gets to her feet, brushing invisible dust off her skirt. She peers into the game cabinet for a total of about five seconds before she says, “Oh my god, you still have Monopoly with the credit card readers? We are definitely playing that.”

“Dibs on banker!” Carlos shouts and jumps to his feet to dig the box out of the cabinet.

Julie grins at her little brother’s enthusiasm, and when she catches Carrie’s eye, her smile doesn’t fade.

Maybe they can do this. It’s as good a first step toward reconciliation as any, she supposes.

The pizza arrives while Carrie and Carlos are setting up the Monopoly board, so Julie and her dad bring it in and set up the stack of boxes on the kitchen island for easy access. The ghosts immediately descend on the food like a pack of rabid animals, Luke grabbing four or five slices at once and starting to stuff them in his mouth before Julie shouts, “Plates, boys! Plates!” and he deflates, grinning bashfully at her.

Once everyone who wants pizza has gotten some (Gerald takes a slice, Trevor and Carrie don’t—Julie remembers vaguely that the Wilsons were never big fans of take-out in general), they work out new teams, which leads to less bloodshed than Julie expected but takes way longer than it has any right to. Finally, they figure out a breakdown that everyone’s more or less happy with, despite now having an uneven number of players: Trevor, Gerald, Dad, and Tía; Carlos, Luke, and Reggie; Alex, Willie, and Flynn; and Carrie, Nick, and Julie.

It’s a chaotic game for sure, but no one outright attacks each other, so Julie counts it as a success. And her team wins, so.

The rest of the night goes like that, one game after another. Julie picks Willie’s name, Willie picks Mario Kart, Carlos wins. Carlos picks Gerald’s name, Gerald picks poker (“Oh my god, my driver’s a gambler,” Trevor sighs into his hands), and somehow Flynn smokes them all. For the last game, Flynn picks Luke’s name, Luke picks Candy Land because he’s actually eight years old, and Flynn and Carrie manage to eke out a victory despite being on the same team and bickering the entire game.

Luke and Trevor, also on the same team, don’t say a single word to each other, but Julie doesn’t miss how a smile tugs at Luke’s lips when Trevor makes a joke about Lord Licorice looking like their high school English teacher.

Gerald gets a call just as they’re finishing up and informs them that the broken down limo’s been towed away and one of his colleagues is there with a fresh car to take the Wilsons home.

“Perfect timing,” Dad says, clapping his hands together. “I’ll walk you out.”

Once they’re gone, Nick and Flynn soon follow. Julie thanks Nick profusely for letting them borrow his sister’s game and convinces him to take some of the leftover pizza home to his family. Tía kisses them all goodnight (including the ghosts, which leaves Reggie grinning and the rest of them bright red), and then she’s out the door too, and Carlos heads up to bed, and Willie poofs out, telling Alex they’ll catch him later, leaving just Julie alone with her Phantoms.

“That was actually really fun,” she says, leaning back into the couch.

“Next time, I think we should choose teams at the beginning and stick with them all night,” Luke suggests, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “More fun that way.”

Alex plops onto the couch on Luke’s other side. “But if we play Pretty Pretty Princess again, I’m not playing on your team, bro.”

“Yeah, man,” Reggie agrees, snuggling up under Julie’s arm. “We coulda won that game if you’d just put the black ring away. ”

“It made me look awesome!” Luke insists.

“And the purple one didn’t?”

Alex lets out a dramatic sigh as Luke and Reggie break into an argument over Julie’s head. She just rolls her eyes and tries not to giggle too audibly, though it’s hard when her boys are so lovingly silly.

When she looks up, her dad’s lingering in the doorway, watching the four of them and playing a little nervously with his hands.

Julie frowns, catches his gaze, and mouths, You okay?

He nods, smiles, but looks from her to the three ghost boys cuddled up next to her and back again. Julie instantly catches his meaning.

“Hey, guys,” she says, loud enough to be heard over Luke and Reggie’s bickering. They shut up right away. “I’m gonna help my dad clean up. Can you go wait in the studio for me, and we can rehearse a bit before I go to bed?”

“Oh, yeah,” the boys say, and “Yeah, sure, Julie,” and they all hug her and wave goodnight to her dad before disappearing with a gentle displacement of air.

Julie gets to her feet as her dad joins her in the living room. He sets his phone on top of the game cabinet and plays a Celia Cruz album her mom liked.

They work in companionable silence for a while, other than the music, counting all the cards and tokens and jewelry pieces to make sure everything’s accounted for and gets back into its proper box.

As Julie’s wrapping up the Mario Kart controllers, her dad says casually, “You have fun tonight?”

“Yeah,” she says, and finds she means it. “Yeah, you know, it wasn’t quite the same as playing with Mom, but I still had a really good time. Thanks for letting everyone come over.”

“Thank you for being such a good sport about Carrie. I know she wasn’t exactly part of your plan for how the night would go.”

“No,” Julie agrees, shutting the game cabinet. “But I kinda liked having her here. Although—can I ask you something?”

Dad grabs his phone to pause the music. “Of course, mija. What is it?”

Something’s been nagging at her all evening, but now that Julie actually has the opportunity to ask about it, she’s not quite sure how to put her question into words.

Finally, she manages, “When Mr. Wilson first got here, he said something like… like he didn’t know we still had game nights. But I don’t remember him ever playing with us when Mom was alive.”

Her dad doesn’t answer for a really long time. Julie knows him well enough to know she needs not be concerned—her dad, much more than her mom, has always needed to really take his time and think before he says anything, especially anything important. Finally, he sighs and says, “Honestly, mija… I’m not quite sure what to say. It’s not really my story to tell.” He sits on one of the couches and pats the cushion next to him. Julie joins him, hugging a throw pillow as she waits patiently for him to continue.

“Do you remember, when you were really little, Trevor and Carrie used to live with us?”

Julie’s mouth drops open. “What? No. When?”

“Only until you were about six,” Dad explains. “But for a while, we had a house together, the five and then six of us, once Carlos was born. Your mom and I, and Trevor, we all kind of raised you kids together.” He elbows her teasingly. “You used to call Trevor Daddy.”

“I definitely don’t remember that,” Julie says, eyes wide in horror.

His smile fades, face turning serious. “I think Carrie does,” he says softly, and Julie remembers when Carrie first got here tonight, how she called Julie’s dad Papi , so quietly Julie thought she’d imagined it.

“Anyway,” he continues, “before all that, before Trevor was even… Trevor … he lived with your mom and me, and he was going through a really rough time, had a lot of trouble with food because, well…”

“Because food killed his best friends…” Julie realizes.

“We used to play board games with him, after dinner, when things were hard. It kept him distracted, made it easier to keep things down. That was the real start of Molina Family Game Night.”

“Huh,” Julie breathes. “Well then, next time? I want to invite him and Carrie for real.”

--

Taglist: @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @apples-bees @reggiescrookedteeth @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @shrimp-colours @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @shellydominique

[canvas-the-florist]

The Store Doesn’t Have Butter

Ship: Romantic Moceit, Platonic DLAMPR (they’re all just friends, y’know?)

Warnings: Temporary main character death, blood (not in detail), swearing, vague jokes about sex, guns, injuries, suffocation mention, car accident, depictions of a depressive episode, food, there is a lot of death in this one folks be safe :)

Summary: Patton’s just having a day filled with surprises and mishaps! But he won’t let that stop him from having a good time.

Word Count: 10.4K

-

Patton wakes up to a happy song playing on his phone and his husband asleep next to him. He stopped the alarm, sitting up and stretching. Janus mumbled and turned to his side to look up at Patton tiredly. Patton greeted him with a smile and a kiss on the forehead, going to get out of bed to start the day. Janus grabbed his arm softly, almost complaining incoherently.

“We do this every morning, love. Can’t I just go make breakfast without you fussing about?” He asked as he reached for his glasses with his free hand and put them on.

Janus let go of Patton, squinting his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He sat up, letting the blankets fall off his chest and onto his lap. “We have never had this conversation before.”

“Sure, Jan.” With one last kiss on the cheek, Patton sat up and got dressed. Janus slowly followed suit. Patton brushed out his curls and grabbed his head of hair to get a short ponytail. The shorter hairs would fall out, which Janus would call adorable, but it annoyed Patton greatly. The compromise was a few brightly colored barrettes. Janus fixed up his own hair beside him. “Dang Janus, I think we look pretty good today!”

Janus raised an eyebrow with a smirk. “Yes, sure. Very fetching.” He looked like he wanted to say more but was cut off by an alarm on his watch. Janus put on his hat and walked out to the front door. “I must be off dear! If I don’t return by seven, assume that I have been kidnapped by my horrible fellow employees.”

Patton leaned against the wall next to the door. “Don’t be mean! It can’t be that bad to work with Roman and Logan, can it?”

His eyes turned dark from whatever he had experienced. “It really can.” Janus lightened up and opened the door. “Well, goodbye Patton! Remember to buy butter!”

The door closed and Patton was left with his own devices. He started by watering the plants, feeding the cat, feeding the turtle, drinking a glass of water, and feeding that murder of crows that started following the couple around a few months ago. Patton sat down on the concrete of the patio in the backyard. A few crows dropped random shiny things before flying off. He watched for a moment before picking them up, hoping to make an interesting necklace from them. Patton dropped them in a small plastic bag before moving to other things he needed to do. He didn’t have work on Mondays, so that’s when he preferred to do groceries and other errands.

It was slightly windy out, causing Patton’s cardigan to drift updraft. He gave the world a smile before walking around. A plane went by, supposedly going down towards the airport. He saw a woman chasing a dog with a leash running wild and helped her out. A group of kids were walking to school. And then he reached the grocery store. Patton went in only needing four things: Butter, bread, eggs, and bagels. He left with seven. They were out of butter too. Walking out, the wind seemed to have simmered down which he was very grateful for.

The walk back was always more frustrating. People were going to their jobs or having a day out with their families. Which meant doing the ten minute walk home with easily squishable foods was a lot more difficult. Patton was humming a song to himself when a biker collided with him, dropping the food.

“Ah, sorry man!” The person apologized.

   “It’s okay!” Patton reassured, helping them up. “It’s just food. Are you alright though? That was quite the fall!”

   “Oh- yeah! That was nothing.” They grabbed their bike. “Sorry about the eggs though. Have a good one!”

   “You too!” Patton looked down at the food. The breads would be fine but half of the eggs had cracked and spilled over everything. He took out the carton and threw it away in the nearest trash can he could find before heading home. The cat lovingly named, Ladle, mewed at him loudly begging for attention. Janus didn’t want Ladle at first, insisting that Patton’s cat allergy was something important, but she quickly made him love her. Patton gave her a few scratches under her chin before sitting down on the couch. Ladle jumped up next to him before making her way to sleep on the windowsill. “Gosh Ladle, today has been an ordeal!”

   She ignored him but he didn’t really mind. Talking to her was really just a thing for himself. Patton took a breath and decided to make lunch. Despite knowing that Janus’s lunch break wasn’t actually two hours long, Patton knew he would be on the bar stool for that duration before returning to work late. The door opened up and Patton finished making the second sandwich. Just on time.

   “Hey dear! You really need to stop skipping work for-” Patton stopped as he looked up. “Oh, Roman! I didn’t expect to see you here…”

The man was covered in blood and seemed shell shocked. Roman looked over at Patton who was taking off his apron and getting a rag wet under the sink. “Pat… I’m so sorry.” Patton’s face fell before he continued but blinked away any fear and started cleaning up Roman’s face. “Logan and I, we tried to stop what happened but… Janus died.”

   Patton clenched his fist around the rag and put it to his side, dropping it to the floor. He took a breath in but it broke as he felt his face warm under tears. Ladle meowed loudly in concern but Patton ignored it. Roman sat him down on the couch and hugged him. The rest of the day was a blur. He vaguely remembered letting Roman borrow some of his clothes so he could shower and clean up. Patton spent the rest of the day with a cat on his chest and the cucumber sandwiches completely forgotten.

   Eventually Roman got Patton to drink some water and left him alone in the dark. Patton stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his face left evidence of his sobbing. None of it felt real. It was supposed to be fine. But the problems kept coming. Ladle jumped off his chest and he made his way to the bed. The bed sheets were still messy from that morning. Patton collapsed down on his husband’s side of the bed and surrounded himself with the comforter. The wind was almost completely gone so the only sounds outside were people’s dogs and a few birds. He turned to lay on his back and fell asleep.

-

   Patton wakes up to a happy song playing on his phone and his husband asleep next to him. He gasps and shoots upward with a start. Breathing heavily, Patton grabbed Janus’s arm and checked to see if he was real. Janus let out a noise of complaint and pulled the blanket over his head. Patton took in a deep breath and smiled through his tears. Just a nightmare.

   “We can’t do this every morning, love. Let’s go get some breakfast, okay?” Patton put on his glasses and Janus sat up, letting the blankets fall from his head to his lap.

    “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Janus stated sarcastically. “We’ve never had this conversation before.” Patton blinked in confusion but let it slide.

   “Whatever you say, Janus.” His voice hurt from the crying. Patton gave his husband a kiss on the cheek and got out of bed to get ready for the day. He did his hair in a short ponytail and put in the barrettes to get the small curls out of his face. Janus fixed up his hair beside him. Patton couldn’t shake the dream however much he wanted to. “Janus? Do you ever get bad dreams about me… getting hurt?”

Janus looked at him curiously. “How hurt are you talking about?”

“I-” Patton was cut off by the alarm on Janus’s watch. He put on his hat but looked back at Patton with concern. He gave a smile. “Go to your job, we can talk at… lunch.”

They both walked to the front door. Janus kissed Patton briefly. “Okay, dear. If I don’t return by seven, assume that I have been kidnapped by my horrible fellow employees.”

“Hey!” Patton said, ignoring the feeling of déjà vu. “Be nice and be safe. Roman and Logan aren’t that bad.”

His eyes turned dark from whatever he had experienced. “It really can.” Janus lightened up and opened the door. “Well, goodbye Patton! Remember to buy butter!” The door slammed and Patton already knew that the grocery store probably didn’t have butter. He didn’t know why he suspected that but took a deep breath. Patton had things to do today that wasn’t about moping.

He started by watering the plants, feeding the cat, feeding the turtle, drinking a glass of water, and feeding that murder of crows that started following the couple around a few months ago. Patton sat down on the concrete of the patio in the backyard. A few crows looked at him and called in concern before dropping off shiny objects and flying away. He watched for a moment, confused, before picking them up. Patton dropped them in a small plastic bag before moving to other things he needed to do. It was time to do errands but he wasn’t sure that it was going to go well. It was windy outside and at the moment people were heading to their jobs and school so the world was going to be really busy. But he did anyway, like he needed to prove something to himself.

It was slightly windy out, causing Patton’s cardigan to drift updraft. A plane went by, supposedly going down towards the airport. He saw a woman chasing a dog with a leash running wild and helped her out after a second of confusion. A group of kids were walking to school. There wasn’t any butter and he shouldn’t have expected it there. Patton stared at the empty space before buying the other things he needed: eggs, bread, and bagels.

   Patton looked around with caution as he walked back, carefully weaving between families and people down the street. He was halfway home when he heard the bike. Patton turned and saw someone about to run into him so he took a step back and tumbled into the grass, hearing the eggs break and scatter. The biker stopped and helped him up.

   “Ah, sorry man!” The person apologized.

   “It’s… It’s okay! Are you okay?” Patton asked.

   The biker looked at them quizzically. “What?”

   Right, they were fine. Patton gave a smile. “Oh never mind. Have a good day!”

   The biker got back on their bike. “Sorry about the eggs. Have a good one!” They zoomed past him and Patton blinked away all his thoughts, forgetting to respond. This didn’t just feel like déjà vu. He finished walking home and put away the bread and bagels.

Ladle meowed for attention and curled around Patton’s shoulders. He pet her idly as he went to sit down at the couch. It was almost time for lunch. Patton thought back to the dream and took in a shaky breath. He had to make sure. With a moment’s hesitation, he called Janus’s burner phone. Patton knew that Janus said to stop spamming him with pictures of Ladle to his burner, because it could be bad and they could be caught with whatever illegal thing he was doing… But Patton needed to know. To warn him something was about to happen.. Probably.

   “Patton? Why did you call me? You know that you can’t just-”

   “Janus, something bad is going to happen. You need to be safe or hide or stop whatever you’re doing!” Patton was trying to stay calm but he kept remembering Roman’s expression and crumbling to the floor. He didn’t even know what happened.

   He heard Janus say something incoherent to someone else on the other end of the line before responding directly. “You’re not normally like this Patton. Why am I in danger, exactly?”

   The only issue with that was that Patton didn’t know the answer to the question. This would be so much easier if Patton knew what the fuck was going on. He felt his throat dry as tears welled up. “I… You just are. Please.”

   “Okay, dear. I’ll be there so-” Janus was cut off by his own screaming. Patton stood up suddenly, yelling Janus’s name and got no response. The line went dead after a minute. He threw his phone at the wall, causing Ladle to jump off his shoulders and he stared at the hole he just created. It got blurrier the more he cried. Patton heard the door open with a bloody Roman who looked just as bad as Patton remembered from the dream, if it even was one.

   Roman sat on the floor next to him and gave him a hug. “I’m so sorry, Patton, I’m so sorry.” This mantra was repeated for hours before silence fell between the two of them. The room darken around them and Patton finally got up and ushered Roman to the bathroom to clean off the blood and take a shower. He got out in Patton’s oversized clothes and watched Patton as he cleaned up the floor. “Do… you need to be alone right now or should I stay with you?”

   The silence was filled by the chirping of birds and people’s dogs. Patton shook his head. “Please don’t leave me alone right now.” His voice was small but he wasn’t sure how much he was actually feeling at the moment. Roman and Patton decided to sleep on the couch together with Ladle nestled by Patton’s stomach. Their backs would kill them tomorrow but that wouldn’t matter. Janus died. Patton looked at Roman’s head before taking off his glasses and closing his eyes, hoping he wouldn’t dream.

-

Patton wakes up to a happy song playing on his phone and his husband asleep next to him. He opened his eyes tiredly, not bothering to stop the alarm. He looked over to Janus and frowned. He finally understood what was happening, and Patton was pretty sure that he hated the answer. With a sigh he turned off the alarm and decided full heartedly that he was not going to let Janus die today, however many todays that would take.

He grabbed Janus’s arm and pulled him into a hug. Okay, he would save his husband after getting a little support. Janus flickered open his eyes in confusion but hugged back. They stayed there for a while before Patton let go to sit up and put on his glasses.

“As much as I love your affection, this seems a bit early in the morning, even for you.” Janus pointed out. Patton kept putting on his clothes, half ignoring Janus, just trying to concoct a plan that would save him. Janus got off the bed and went in front of him as he finished putting on his shirt. “Patton. What is happening today?”

Patton looked at him with a determined smile and fear in his eyes. “You’re going to go to work and I’m going to take care of all the things here. Now go! We need to get ready for the day.”

Janus complied, pretending to shrug off Patton’s demeanor and put on his clothes. Patton did up his hair in a short ponytail and 4 colorful barrettes to hide the short curly hairs that were left. Janus barely finished his hair as his watch beeped. He gave Patton a kiss on the cheek before saying, “I must be off dear! If I don’t return by seven, assume that I have been kidnapped by my horrible fellow employees.”

“Yeah, mhm, don’t be rude to them. Be safe!” Patton responded walking out to the front doorway.

Janus gave a look but opened the door. “Well, goodbye Patton! Remember to buy butter!” The door closed and Patton took out his phone to text Remus. He needed a car and someone who wouldn’t ask questions. Remus was good at both of those. As he awaited the reply he quickly went through all his chores including feeding several animals and watering the plants. Remus sent back a reply with many curses and agreed to it. Wonderful.

With that a plan was in action! Follow husband to work and find out how he keeps dying and prevent it! Easy. Patton heard a loud car horn sound repeatedly outside his house and immediately knew that Remus had arrived. He walked outside, wearing his cardigan on his arms instead of around his shoulders to show that he was serious about it. Remus smiled and moved to the passenger seat instead of getting out completely.

“Uh, Remus?” Patton got into the driver’s seat and looked at his friend awkwardly. “I thought I mentioned wanting to do this alone?”

Remus put on his seat belt. “You did, but I’m ignoring you, fuckface! Whatever the fuck you’re doing seems like a fun time and I am extremely bored.” Patton scrunched his nose and pushed up his glasses before starting the car. He knew exactly how Remus was when he was bored and wasn’t a fan of dealing with it. Perhaps someone who kind of knew Janus’s line of work could be helpful. They started driving after Patton set up a GPS route to the workplace. Remus looked at it and back at him. “We’re visiting J-anus and my brother? OH! Are you going to prank them?! It’d be so exciting to set the entire building on fire!”

Patton’s hands tightened on the wheel and glanced at his friend. “No, you know I don’t condone killing people with arson. We’re here to hopefully prevent something that’s going to happen.”

“What’s going to happen? Murder without arson?”

He stopped at a stop sign before making a left turn. Patton shrugged as he corrected the wheel. “I don’t actually know. That’s what I’m going to find out though.” It couldn’t hurt to be honest with Remus, seeing as he didn’t know if the next day was even going to exist in the first place. With a few gross conversations that led to vague responses from Patton, the two finally reached their destination. To find out what the fuck was going to happen to Janus. They walked up to the front building, Patton had a smile on his face that was apparently intimidating according to the reaction of the receptionist. “Hi, sorry to disturb you I was just wondering if Janus Lyre-Hart is in the office today? I’m his husband.”

“Sorry sir... He’s, he’s not actually here today? He was sent on a field mission with two others to deal with an issue with the company.” She stated nervously.

“Where did they go?” Remus asked with more seriousness than Patton had heard in several years. They were told the location and drove there together. Remus had seemed to gage the seriousness of the situation and adjusted SOME of his actions accordingly. “Do you think you’re going to find their entrails all over here or something?” Some actions.

Patton sighed and slammed the car door shut, looking around the place. Just a bunch of buildings. The place seemed completely normal. He noticed a few crows over an old blue wooden bar that didn’t appear significant. Patton started walking towards it and Remus followed, taking huge steps to keep up. The door creaked open and a few of the birds flew away. Patton peaked in and Remus knelt over to peak through underneath Patton’s head. The place was empty. The two stepped in.

“This isn’t as planned out as I’d like.” Patton said, even though his real thoughts were ‘I can try again tomorrow anyway’. Remus walked around, kicking over an empty trash can. It fell over making a loud sound against the floor. Patton flinched but noticed something weird with the floorboards. He kneeled down. “Huh. Hey Remus? I think we just found a trapdoor.”

“Then let’s open it!” Remus exclaimed, and he slammed his fingers around the corners, pulling up. Patton bit a protest and helped. The door lifted and slammed down on, the force of which made a wave of dust fly up. Patton coughed before looking down. There was a metal ladder on one of the walls, small rectangular slots lined up evenly all the way down to the bottom of the tunnel; it was much lower down than he expected. Remus shoved past Patton and started climbing down. He looked back up. “Come on! I wanna see what’s down here! Like a sex dungeon or just a dungeon dungeon! With worms!”

The two reached the bottom and walked until they reached a point with two turns they could go. Remus mentioned splitting up but Patton thought that it was a bad idea. So instead, the two made a right turn right into Logan, Roman, and Janus running rapidly.

“We have to go!” Roman exclaimed, grabbing Remus and Patton. They all turned and started running through to the left turn. Patton tried to look back but Logan kept his head forward. They eventually got out of the tunnels in a different exit. Janus shoved everyone into the car while Logan started the engine. Patton put on his seat belt quietly. Roman turned to look at them from the passenger seat. “What the hell are you guys doing here?!”

“Looking for you shitheads!” Remus exclaimed. “Patton said that something bad was going to happen!”

Janus looked out the window of the speeding car and grimaced. He got out a gun and Patton fought himself to keep his eyes open. It was almost lunch time, it was almost time. “They’re tailing us, Logan!” Janus turned to Patton with softness in his eyes, and his tone became more controlled. “Why do you think something bad is going to happen?”

“Does this not count as bad to you, Janus?!” Patton exclaimed, Remus pushed his back down as a bullet hit the back window. Janus looked at the glass and shrugged. Patton groaned and leaned back on Remus’s shoulder before giving a glance to the back window. There were a few nicely dressed people with guns and were shooting sporadically at the car. “Seriously?! Jan, I can’t explain what’s going to happen because I wasn’t here originally but you have to be careful!”

“I am doing my best to be safe dear, but I also need to do my job.” Janus said coldly before opening the window and shooting back. Logan made a swift turn and Patton grabbed Remus’s hand for comfort. He felt scared and angry at the same time. Janus needed to trust him on this but only Patton even knew what was going on. Next thing he knew, Roman’s arm got shot. He screamed, dropping his weapon out the car window and leaned back on his seat. Patton didn’t see a gun wound in the dreams, so this happened because of the changes he made. The guilt didn’t have time to sink in when one of the bullets hit the car wheels. Logan cursed under his breath as the car swerved and narrowly avoided a tree; it instead flipped on its side. Patton swallowed an ongoing panic in order to unbuckle his seat belt and helped Remus and Janus out of the car. Logan and Roman got caught up with the airbags. Logan quickly unbuckled and maneuvered his way out.

Patton coughed and looked at the car. “So… what now? How do we get Roman out of there?”

“Well, we can’t move him because if he broke something that could ruin his vital organs or bones permanently.” Logan hummed, nonchalantly pulling Remus back from the car. “I think that the best thing we can do now is leave immediately.”

Remus pulled back from Logan’s grasp sharply. “And just leave him here? He could die!”

“We could also die, Remus!” Janus cut in, shaking. Patton froze up, staring at the door. He had a feeling it was already too late. Janus kept yelling, the cars started arriving and the gunshots got louder. But he couldn’t turn his eyes away from the car. It was on its side and even though Patton couldn’t see him, he imagined Roman’s pain. He couldn’t move. “-Atton! You have to get up! Patton! I’m not looping you into this!”

The others had run off, leaving Roman in the car, but Janus was dragging Patton as he blinked back into hearing others again. But it was too late, Patton heard Janus cry out and looked up to him with concern. “Janus? Are you okay?”

He shook his head, tears welling up and Janus hugged him. Patton looked down and saw blood seeping into his shirt. He looked up at his husband and smiled. “I’ll be okay! I’ll be better next time. You’ll be okay next time!” The light sky hurt so he closed his eyes. He felt Janus’s arms trembling around him and wanted to comfort him. But Patton felt like he was turning into static. “Next time will be better, I promise.”

-

   Patton woke up to the same cheerful song on his phone, tired but ready to try again. He sat up and examined his chest. It looked normal and his breathing wasn’t hindered anymore but his brain wanted to believe he was in pain. Patton looked over at Janus, who was breathing normally too. He wasn’t even crying. Janus was okay, Roman was okay, he was okay. Right? If Patton just learned how to do better this time everything would turn out fine. So, he decided not to wake up Janus. Patton closed the blinds on the window and slipped back into bed and cuddled into Janus’s side. Even if his husband did wake up, he tended not to care about following what his job wanted him to do anyways. Whatever that job actually was.

   Time passed and eventually Janus did leave. Patton tried to come with him but it didn’t work. And Patton wouldn’t consider himself as stubborn as Janus was. So he let him leave and got on his bicycle to follow him. Patton had visited one of the work locations before, for a potluck or Halloween party usually set up by Roman. It was a secretive place but loved to pretend it was just a normal business.

   He walked in and saw Virgil. Which was a bit unusual, seeing as he didn’t actually work with the others either. Not like Patton had much room to judge if he liked to judge. He gave a smile and waved. “Hey, kiddo! What are you up to?”

Virgil waved awkwardly as he walked over, his other hand in his hoodie. “Sup, Pat. Logan wanted to ask something from me I guess? He was being vague about this place, as always, but I just finished. Why are you here?”

   He hated lying and Virgil hated being lied to. Patton wasn’t exactly sure how to explain his situation without sounding like he was joking or really sleep deprived. He gave a glance to the receptionist and looked back at his friend. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here. But I am having quite a long day, if you want to talk about it over ice cream with me?”

   Patton internally high fived himself for his wonderful pun that no one would get but him.

...

   “So, we’re stuck in a loop and every time Janus dies when you don’t do anything but Roman died when you tried to mess with it?” Patton nodded nervously. Virgil thought it through while taking a bite of ice cream from his paper bowl. “That sounds like a personal hell if I’ve ever heard one. Especially for you. But from what you’ve said, the loop will probably end when you manage to save everyone. I’m not sure how exactly you’ll do that but I could help out.”

   “You… aren’t freaking out as much as I thought you would.” Patton knew that wasn’t phrased as well as he wanted to, but he was curious about how Virgil felt about everything going on.”

   Virgil put down the plastic spoon and made eye contact with Patton. He noticed just how shaky the man was. “Oh I’m absolutely panicking right now, but it’s probably better to deal with it when tomorrow comes or something. Nothing matters right now and that is terrifying to think about. My actions are actually useless. It’s not like I’ll remember what happened right now anyway, right?”

   He shook his head. “So far I think I’m the only one who knows about it.” Patton decided he’d just not tell Virgil in the next loop, he didn’t see his dark strange son daily so that wasn’t an issue. Patton didn’t want to give Virgil a panic attack every single time they talked on this day. “What should I do about it? I’ve tried coming to help, or preventing it from happening, or doing nothing, but I’m still here.” Alone.

   “Well, putting my pessimism aside for a moment,” Virgil started. “You could tell Janus, Roman, and Logan about what’s happening so they can avoid doing this specific job or whatever until they have a better fleshed out plan. Or… I don’t know, figure out what they’re doing and get to it first.” He opened his mouth before closing it again, and Patton guessed that he probably had another idea that would be upsetting to hear.

   Patton leaned forward. “What’s the last one, Virgil?”

“Nothing!” Virgil exclaimed. He calmed down, letting go of the ice cream bowl. “It’s just that maybe you’re supposed to… accepthisdeathandworkthroughthegrief- I don’t know it’s stupid!”

   “Oh…” Virgil looked away with his arms crossed. Patton looked down at his now melted ice cream. Roman would be at his house by now but he wasn’t quite sure that it mattered. He looked back up at Virgil, trying not to cry. “I mean I can try out the other things first, right? I really don’t want anyone I love to die if I can prevent it somehow.”

   “I know, Pat.” No, you don’t, Patton thought bitterly. He felt guilty but he knew he stood by his thinking no matter how rude it was.

-

   The next time he tried to just wake up earlier, which worked just as well as you would expect. So he called Roman as soon as he woke up instead and told him everything. “So that’s why you shouldn’t do anything about whatever the hell you found earlier today. It’s doomed to fail, and I believe in you kiddo but this absolutely isn’t going to work.”

   There was a sigh from the other side of the screen. “Patton, you had a weird dream about a time loop? It happens sometimes, Padre. Janus and I aren’t going to die. Remus doesn’t even work here and you don’t even know where we’re going-”

   “Yes I do Roman!” He fought back. One of Virgil’s suggestions was to figure out what the others were doing and to prevent it or solve it before the others did. Patton needed to gather information for that to even work though. “You’re going to an old abandoned blue building that used to be a bar! There’s at least two entrances to the tunnels underneath it and you had a direct route about a mile away from the bar.” Patton sighed, it was hard convincing people about this much of a reach. So, it was time for a different approach. “Look, maybe it is a weird dream but it’s not nothing. Can you at least tell me what you found so I know that you guys are going to be okay?”

   He hummed, contemplating for a moment before sighing. “I can’t do that, Patton. Logan and Janus are already on my case about so many things I’m not adding another to the list. We’re going to be okay today, I promise that.” Patton clenched his phone as his friend kept talking. “I’ll visit you after we’re done today! Does that sound good, padre?”

   “It sounds great Roman, see you..” Patton responded, ending the call.

   True to his word, Patton did hear the door creak open. Roman cried into his arms while Patton just considered what he could do next.

-

   “Logan, is there ANY way you could do what you’re doing today later?” Patton asked, while Remus was walking through the office idly. Logan gave him a confused look as if to indicate that he wanted more information. “I’m going to be straightforward here-”

  “Good luck attempting that.” Remus cut in. Logan and Patton stared at him for a moment. He shrugged. “Just saying. Keep talking about your psychic powers or whatever.”

   “I’m going to be CLEAR about this.” Patton mended. “Whatever happens at your job today will end with Janus being shot and killed. I can’t really explain why, but you need to do this tomorrow, or plan something. I don’t know! This is really dangerous and I want everyone to be okay.”

   There was a moment of silence between the three of them. Logan sat in his seat, thinking everything over while Remus had paused reorganizing the bookshelf to spell ‘penis’ with the first letters of the book titles. It was so silent that Patton could hear the shuffling of people walking through the halls, and the caws of birds that suspiciously sounded like crows. He took a breath and looked at the ceiling to keep himself from crying. Patton knew that he looked like a mess. He was wearing his cardigan instead of around his shoulders and he was so focused on leaving as fast as possible that his hair was completely neglected.

   Logan cleared his throat. “It would be unwise for us to completely postpone our mission today.” Patton sniffed and Logan continued through seemingly unaffected. “But I suppose it would be wise to make sure we have bulletproof vests and show up more inconspicuously than we previously planned.”

   “Thank you, Lo.” Patton’s voice was quiet, like a sudden breeze could shatter it.

   Patton and Remus were ushered out. Remus suggested they go out to sushi to wait and see how it went. There was a place close by and Remus enjoyed eating raw meats. This was a type of food the two frequently compromised on. The drive was quiet if you tuned out whatever loud artist Remus played in his car. Patton didn’t know them but did know that they swore way more than he would normally listen to.

   When the car stopped Patton didn’t move or do anything. Remus reminded him to unbuckle and get out of the car before he locked him in. He talked about not wanting his best friend to suffocate without any air and getting trapped by the safety lock completely and having to resort to eating his arm. No matter how grotesque his metaphors were, Patton appreciated knowing that Remus was there for him. He took everything Patton said in stride, not mocking or belittling him. He wasn’t a serious man and he didn’t have to be. Remus was passionate and would do anything for the people he cared about, regardless of how dangerous. Which was exactly why he had to make sure Remus and everyone else survived to some sort of future that didn’t exist yet.

   The two picked up their sushi and ate there. Well, Remus did. Patton picked at his a little while listening to the ambient noises of the restaurant. “Do you think they’re going to be okay today?”

   “I have no fucking clue.” Remus said. He paused to drink some of the soy sauce from the bottle. “But they stand a better chance with you fighting for them to finally use all those brain cells they’re hogging. I mean, do you hear that they weren’t even planning on wearing bullet proof vests? Do they want to become rag dolls at the end of this?”

   Patton snorted, tears brimming his eyes. “I guess I really ragged on Logan, huh?”

   Remus took all of Patton’s sushi in his hands and smooshed them together before eating the entire thing. With the food gone it was finally time to leave. When they arrived at the house there was already a car there. Roman’s car. Patton ran into the house to see Roman on the ground, looking very bruised with his hands covered in blood.

   “What happened?” He demanded.

   “Patton?” Roman asked weakly, looking up at him. “Patton! I’m so sorry, Logan and I, we tried to stop what happened but… Janus died.”

   His mind was racing, hearing Remus close the door behind him but he ignored it. “How?”

   “He was… umm, stabbed to death. Are you okay?”

   Roman’s question was ignored. Patton sat down at the table, turned away from the twins. Stabbed. Not shot. Of course they had multiple types of weapons on them. That was an oversight he couldn’t do again. He’d find a way to save them. They can bring their own guns or knives or they could be warned about what their enemies had prepared for them. Patton’s heart was racing as his hands gripped his head. He’d know what to do.

-

   Patton watched expectedly as Roman walked into the door. “They beat Janus to death.”

-

   Logan went into Patton’s house holding tightly onto his bleeding leg, with his other arm against the wall to keep his balance. The two made eye contact. “Roman and Janus died when they shot the tires of the car and it crashed. I’m the only one who made it.”

-

   “Janus was shot.”

-

   “We just couldn’t save Logan I’m so sorry-”

-

   “Roman was kidnapped and used against us. Janus thought they were bluffing about killing him but then they did.”

-

   Janus died. Logan died. They all died and somehow Virgil found out before him. Roman and Janus died. Logan and Janus died. Janus died. Patton was pulling his hair out. Every time he woke up he had darker eye bags than the last time. He didn’t bother to watch as yet another one of his friends limped through the door at 3 PM on a sunny day ready to announce a tragedy.

   “Patton-”

    “Who died?” He asked, cutting him off. Patton looked up to see Janus. There was blood coming from his nose that was ignored and drying over his skin. It wasn’t a very common version of this day. He showed up sometimes but Janus was very frequently the one dead. “I already know someone got murdered, Jan. Please just tell me how so I can avoid it next time.”

   “What? Next time-” Janus sputtered, shaking his head before looking at Patton. “What the fuck does that mean?! Roman got suffocated to death- why… Do you know what happened? Patton, what’s going on?”

   A question so simple with a very difficult answer. Patton stood up to help Janus walk to a chair. Roman. Strangled. How could he warn them about that next time? Janus was talking as Patton continued to walk around the kitchen but he wasn’t listening. He wet a towel and started cleaning up Janus’s face. Janus shut up and Patton gave a tight lipped smile. “I know you aren’t going to believe me but you, Logan, and Roman have been dying every single day for me and I’m trying to make sure you’re all okay in the end. So, next time I’ll tell Logan about things to avoid doing that didn’t work out this specific time. As long as I mess with the timeline something different will happen. One of these days will turn out okay.”

   Unless they don’t. Unless he really just has to accept it like Virgil said.

   “So you’ve just been handed the world’s most traumatizing time loop?” Janus asked. Patton removed the bloody paper towel and threw it in the trash can. He nodded. “How long have you been stuck here? Just knowing that one of us dies?”

   “I don’t know.” Patton answered honestly. He spent so much effort trying to save his friends he hadn’t bothered to keep track of time. Janus rested his hand on Patton’s arm for the littlest amount of comfort. Patton looked up at him with a sad smile, tears brimming his eyes. “What do I do? I can’t get you to stop, you won’t let me come with you, and I don’t want anyone to be hurt anymore.”

   They both looked so hurt. Janus had bruises setting in just about everywhere and he winced whenever he made a movement too big or too fast. Patton just looked tired. So incredibly tired, as if he had woken up after a fitful night sleep decades ago and never went back to bed. Janus tried to say something but stopped himself. There was no clear cut answer. Why would there be? It was like he had said earlier, the world’s most traumatizing time loop and Patton was the only one with a ticket to the ride. How do you stop something that’s only goal is to make you suffer? He thought about what Virgil said and grimaced.

   Patton fell into Janus’s lap and sobbed. This wasn’t fair, none of it was! And Virgil had to be right about everything. He had to let his husband die. Patton whispered his apologies over and over until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t figure out a way to save him; perhaps there wasn’t a way to save him at all.

-

   Patton wakes up to a happy song playing on his phone and his husband asleep next to him. He didn’t stop the alarm, he didn’t do anything. Janus woke up with a yawn, only to see Patton staring blankly at the ceiling above him. The world felt devoid of life, like the more Patton looked, the world would pause before draining away before him. Janus gave him a shake, asking if he was okay, but Patton didn’t answer. It was no use. Nothing he did would work in the end anyways. Why try? Janus seemed more worried, not a common look on him. Patton looked him over and gave a smile. Would this be the last time he’d see him?

   “Are you okay?” He asked, when Patton finally sat up. Patton gave him a hug and let go of it before he wouldn’t be able to. “Patton, do you need me to stay with you?”

   “No, I’m okay.” The lie was breathed to life almost hesitantly. His voice felt raspy. Patton knew that this was the right thing to do, but it hurt so much. Why did it have to hurt so much? “Just, just go to work and I’ll be alright.”

   So Janus did, and Patton was alright. Janus wasn’t. When Roman came to tell him of the news, Patton was still in bed on his husband’s side. Roman stayed after taking a shower, but his attempts to help were in vain. The world was draining away and there was nothing that could stop it. Roman was sleeping on the floor, holding Patton’s hand.

-

   It kept repeating. Making Patton live the pain every single day, which wasn’t fair. He still cried when Roman would tell him that Janus died. He still made sure that Roman got cleaned up, but nothing changed. Patton couldn’t make it to yesterday, despite trying so hard to move on. Eventually he decided to keep up the routine he would normally have, trying to show the world that he was going to be okay, but that didn’t work either.

   Nothing did.

-

   He watered the plants, fed the cat and the turtle, had a glass of water, and hung out with that murder of crows that started following the couple around a few months ago. Patton threw some food at the ground in front of them before sitting down on the patio. He wasn’t really sure what to do. Going to the store probably wouldn’t be helpful, unless he managed to avoid the biker eventually. Janus was already at work and in danger already. Patton sighed and fell to his back. A crow cawed at him.

   “What should I do?” He dragged his hands over his face. None of the birds responded, outside of the one that hopped onto his calf. Patton decided that was a sign to go grocery shopping, despite knowing they wouldn’t have all that’s on the list.

It was slightly windy out, causing Patton’s cardigan to drift updraft. A plane went by, supposedly going down towards the airport. He saw a woman chasing a dog with a leash running wild and helped her out. A group of kids were walking to school. And then he reached the grocery store. Patton went in only needing four things: Butter, bread, eggs, and bagels. He already knew they didn’t have butter, but put the rest in the shopping basket. Patton’s hand hovered over Janus’s favorite candy. He blinked slowly, taking a deep breath in and out, before throwing it into the basket. It wasn’t a horrible thing to indulge anyways.

Walking out, the wind had calmed down. He carefully carried his bags, skillfully dodging out of the way of the biker for the first time. Patton stopped walking to watch the person continue on, not knowing about the collision that had occurred between them before. The rest of the way was uneventful. He put away the groceries and decided to make something for Roman when he was going to stop by.

He made some sort of water based soup, Patton wasn’t sure which because he grabbed the one closest to him, only checking the label to make sure it wasn’t cream based. Last time he hadn’t, Roman got really sick. Just as Patton had finished, the door opened. He didn’t say anything and instead got a rag from a cupboard and turned on the hot water.

Roman limped in and leaned against the wall. “Pat, I’m so sorry.” Patton nodded silently, running the rag underneath the sink and started cleaning up the blood on Roman’s face. “Logan and I, we tried to stop what happened but… Janus died.”

   Patton’s heart pinged in guilt, still feeling like he could do something. He took the rag off Roman’s face. “Yeah, I know. How about you go take a shower, Roman. You can borrow my clothes for tonight.” Roman had a confused expression but seemed too out of it to say anything. Patton took out some of his clothes, not able to go through Janus’s shirts. He set it outside the bathroom door and spent the rest of his time petting Ladle idly. None of this felt right.

-

   It couldn’t be the right way to go about this, seeing as he awoke again with Janus next to him so many times after. But Patton didn’t know what he COULD do. He stood up a bit too quickly but ignored it. Patton decided he’d finally start putting up his hair again. Not that anyone would know how long he hadn’t bothered to but himself. It would just help. He put in the barrettes and stared at himself in the mirror for a few seconds. Sighing, Patton tied the cardigan to finish his look. Janus walked into the bathroom, brushing his incredibly long hair. He was dressed for work but had yet to grab his hat.

   “Hey love, can we talk before you go to work?” Patton asked. Usually he’d be nervous about Janus misinterpreting his tone but currently things like that haven’t really mattered to him.

   “Well that’s not ominous at all.” Janus replied as he nodded. He put his hair in a bun and put his hat on top. There was a strip of hair loose, highlighting the scarred side of the man’s face. The two walked to the living room. Upon seeing them, Ladle jumped off the couch and ran into the bedroom presumably to hide under something. “What did you need to talk about?”

   Patton took a breath, taking in all the ways this conversation has been messed up before. “You can’t go to work today. I know what you’re going to say-”

“This day is really important,” Janus interjected while Patton said it at the same time as him with a sense of boredom. Janus narrowed his eyes. “Have you been hanging out with Remus more often? There’s no way you were able to copycat that well without practice.”

   “Yeah, I guess you could call it practice if you wanted to.” Patton chuckled to himself. “But we’re getting distracted. If any of you guys, including Roman and Logan, go do the thing you need to do today you will die. It won’t be pleasant, and it will happen no matter how many precautions you decide to take. So please, take the day to plan this out better or something. But you can’t risk anything.”

   Janus was very taken back but scoffed, to hide the fact he was worried. Patton knew that he wasn’t just going to give in without good reason to. He didn’t want to pull the ‘time loop’ card if he didn’t have to. If he could just move onto tomorrow with no one knowing what had happened he would be satisfied. “We are always careful, Patton. Why do you think today’s going to be any different? We haven’t died yet!”

   “But you will! I don’t THINK today’s going to be different, I. KNOW. SO.” Patton was trying to stay as calm as possible, but it really sucked to do that. “If you want me to explain, I can, but it would be so much better for you just to trust me. Please.”

    “Patton. I want to know what’s going on. Are you being threatened or something? Why do you believe we’re going to be hurt?” Janus asked.

   He took a deep breath, Patton’s heart was breaking faster than his patience. “I’m not being threatened, Janus. I’m stuck. I’m stuck watching you die every single day, only learning when Roman comes into our house at 3 PM when I expected you to sneak out of your work place to eat food with me. And I can’t do anything about it or someone else I care about dies! So I’m stuck! Stuck knowing that it’s going to be windy today, that a biker will break the eggs I bought at the grocery store, and that I got other things there to compensate for the fact that the store doesn’t have butter!” His voice broke as he looked at Janus after he ranted loudly. “I’ve been on this day that it’s easier to focus on my small inconveniences instead of the fact that my husband dies today and I can’t do anything.”

   Janus walked over to him, giving Patton a hug. Patton didn’t hug back but put his head on his chest. Everything was silent between the two of them. Janus rubbed circles into Patton’s back. Neither of them were crying. Patton had run out of tears for a long time, and Janus didn’t know enough to understand how horrible the situation was. After a few minutes, Patton pulled back. Janus looked at him, with undivided attention.

  “Will you tell the others that the plan today has changed?” He asked. “I can’t let you go into danger. Not when I can do something about it.”

   “At this point it would be stupid of me not to. Want to come with to make sure none of the other’s fuck up this day?” Janus suggested, Patton gave a weak smile. “I’ll work hard to not die today by planning ahead and having common sense. It might be quite difficult if your rants suggest anything.”

   “Hey,” Patton interjected softly. “You have common sense! I’m not exactly sure how you die but you probably try very hard not to do it. Don’t degrade your worth, Janus.” It was ironic, seeing as how much Janus promoted taking care of yourself and your own self worth in general. Patton tried to get his normal energy but it fell short. He almost literally fell too, but Janus caught him and stood him back up. “I’ll… physically fight you.”

   “Of course you will, let’s go tell the other’s okay?”

…

   Patton watched as his friends huddled around Logan’s desk coming up with some sort of game plan. He was trying to listen but his exhaustion caught up to him and he mainly focused on staying awake. Roman gave him a concerned look before he kept talking. Clearly, the three were talking about him. The whole reason this was happening was because of Patton. He let Janus argue his points and kept his attention on staring at the small things on Logan’s bookshelf. It was uniform, organized by the author's last name. The only deviation being the small nick knacks and items that the other’s gave him over the years. Patton smiled, even though Logan didn’t see the purpose of the small toys, he still kept them. Things like this reminded Patton how much he loved his friends.

“Okay, what dangers are there that we aren’t prepared for?” Logan asked.

   Janus thought for a moment, and looked at Patton. He just barely started listening again. “I wouldn’t really know. What about you, Patton?”

He looked up seeing all of them looking directly back. Patton took a breath. “Well, they have a whole range of weapons. If you aren’t immediately shot and manage to get into the car they’re going to shoot the tires. You could be strangled, hurt in the car wreck, manipulated into a situation where you could put someone else at risk…” Patton trailed off awkwardly. Logan, Roman, and Janus all made eye contact for a brief moment. Patton liked to imagine they could all talk to each other telepathically, even though Logan didn’t think that was logical.

“This seems like a lot,” Roman commented. “Are you sure that you’re not just overthinking every single thing that can go wrong? That sounds more like Virgil’s thing if we’re being real-”

Logan looked at him, confused. “Of course we’re being real, but I don’t see what that has to do with it.” Janus looked like he wanted to cut in but decided not to say anything, simply clearing his throat instead. “Roman the entire point of our job is to make sure we’re prepared for any given situation, why is that a problem?”

“Well, uh, it just-” Roman sputtered through his sentence. “Without taking chances and trying to plan everything out we’re not going to get anything done! How can we be expected to save anyone from danger if we spend all day just thinking about what COULD happen?”

“Without planning at all we’re not going to be able to save ourselves!” Janus argued back. “And if we die that’s not going to do anyone any good.”

He looked over at Patton with a small smile, signalling that he was going to stand up for his side of the argument, which was comforting. Janus was a very persuasive person. But in the end, Patton didn’t care what conclusion they went to as long as they lasted to the end of the day. Logan looked between his two coworkers and friends, sighing. “Well clearly we need a healthy balance instead. If we put too much weight on taking risks or preparing, it won’t be productive either way.”

“So…” Roman started. “Yerkes-Dodson curve again?”

   Logan looked at him, unimpressed. “Yes, the Yerkes-Dodson curve again.”

   He didn’t really understand what that was referencing, but Patton decided to speak up again. “So you’re going to spend the rest of the day coming up with a flexible but concrete plan for tomorrow?”

   “That does sound like the consensus.” Janus shrugged. No one else argued.

   By the time the three were done planning, Patton had fallen asleep on the chair he was on. Janus gently picked up his husband on his back. Patton’s arms fell loosely around his neck as he was coming out of unconsciousness. The car ride was quiet, and they reached home. Janus waved to Remus before heading inside, helping Patton follow along.

   It was 6 PM. The longest that anyone had lived on that day. Patton was suddenly awake when he realized that. His grip on Janus’s shirt tightened significantly. But the two still didn’t say anything. Patton took out his barrettes and ponytail. He shook out his hair, looking at himself in the mirror again as he took off the cardigan. Janus was making a quick dinner for the two of them. Patton had to keep reminding himself that Janus was still there, still alive. He almost believed that something would keep going wrong, and that wouldn’t be fair. None of it seemed fair though, so it was possible. Patton gave himself a nod. “It’s going to be okay.”

   After they ate, Janus and Patton got into pajamas. They laid on top of the blankets, holding hands despite facing opposite ways. Janus cleared his throat. “What are you going to do if today repeats again, Patton?”

   “I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I mean obviously I’ll try to keep you all alive but I’m going to try different things. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten. I keep thinking that you’ll die in front of me or that Roman and Logan already died and I just don’t yet. Virgil suggested that I might just have to accept the fact that you’re going to die. I certainly don’t want that to be true.”

   Janus nodded solemnly. “I mean I guess it’s finally been proven that I can die now.”

   Patton hit him softly with his free hand. “No jokes! This is a serious time, we gotta be serious.” Janus gave him a look, some mix between mock offended and trying desperately not to laugh. “JAn! Stop trying to make me laugh- no stop poking my face- I’m trying to have a conversation with you-” He was cut off by his own laughter, followed by his husband’s laughter. Patton’s laugh turned into crying. The two sat up. “You’ll be okay, right Jan? I don’t want this to be the last time we joke around like this. I’ll miss you so much.”

    There was a pause, and then Janus cradled Patton’s check with one of his hands. “You’re strong, Patton. If anyone had the moral capability to save everyone repeatedly, it would be you. Then again, I’ll ask you to consider taking up a therapist when you do get out of the time loop, regardless of the end result.”

   “Fair enough.” Patton allowed Janus to pull him into a kiss. It was short. When they pulled away Patton pulled them into a hug. “Can you stay up with me until twelve? I want to make sure that tomorrow will actually come.”

   “Of course, dear.”

   Time passed. Patton and Janus mostly just bothered Ladle when she went into the room, talked about things that didn’t matter, and kept each other company. Patton checked the clock on the bedside table and his phone with basically every free thought he had. Janus tried to distract him with a movie playing on his laptop, but his hand remained on his phone. They finished the movie when it turned 11 PM.

   “So, should we play another movie or just scroll on our phones or something?” Janus asked. Patton hummed for a moment, giving a look. Janus narrowed his eyebrows, feigning suspicion. “Oh, you want to do a special thing don’t you?”

   “Yeah,” Patton relented. “Something simple though! I haven’t made any of the loops, so it’s been awhile for me. Please? If we start now we might be able to finish before midnight!”

   So they made cookies. Despite being on a time limit, the two spent plenty of it messing around. Janus ate some of the cookie dough after the chocolate chips were put in despite Patton’s insistence not to. But after a very small amount of convincing, Patton ate cookie dough as well. Janus put in the first batch of cookies at about 11:47. So maybe they should have rushed just a little bit more. Patton looked at Janus, with innocence in his expression but mischievousness in his heart. “Looks like we’re in a real time crunch now, huh?”

   “Patton. We have been married for three years and four months but I’m willing to end it there if you continue to keep doing this to me.” If someone who didn’t know Janus heard him say that, they would’ve believed that he was being completely honest. Patton though, just laughed proudly. Janus sat on the floor, across from the oven, watching the cookies and pretending not to pay attention to Patton.

   “Come on, Jan!” Patton exclaimed, shaking his shoulders. “If this really is the last of the time loop I got to end with a sweet pun!”

   Before there could be any more arguments, or god forbid, puns the timer went off and the first batch of cookies were done. Patton took out the tray as Janus put in the next one. The two checked the time. 11:58. Janus lifted the cookie. “Looks like there’s no time to let it cool. I want to have at least one cookie if the day is going to reset anyways.”

   “Well, I guess just this once, it’s okay.” Patton said, picking up his own cookie. He looked at the clock to see they only had one minute left. Patton made eye contact with Janus. “If this day repeats, I just want you to know that I’ll never stop until I save you.”

   “I know.” and they both took bites into the cookies.

   Patton looked at the clock after a moment. He chewed and swallowed the cookie, seeing that it was 12 AM. Patton looked quickly back at Janus, who was there and alive. Janus put down his cookie just as he was enveloped in a hug. Patton was crying already, holding onto him like he was going to disappear at any moment. “You’re alive! You’re alive… It’s finally over. I’m not stuck anymore.”

   He cried into Janus’s shoulder, finally breathing in a new today.

Taglist: @rosalynravenclaw16 @genderkwerfirebird @littlefufu10 @hailcap85 @infawrit10 @dontask25 @shinekittenace @reginaofdoctorwho @harmonydiaries @tomori-outtit @wundergirllovesyou @you-gay-bitch @tradernate @vinnievinvibing @gender-guts @the-dead-and-the-decaying @qtkittencorn @elsecaller617 @made-of-love-and-loneliness @venus-virgil77 @sablesides @mainfor-theo @inge-nine @drunk-logan-cursed-facts @pastelpatton @gay-artist-626 @ace-ace-in-yo-face @lemonlinelights @mk-wastebin @kayte-wren @jaunssanders @asdfghjklicia

[bechloeislegit]

You're Going To Be One Hot Mama!

Author's Prompt: Mother's Day fic from the "Rescue Me" Universe AU with Firefighter!Chloe and Music Producer!Beca. Beca has something to tell Chloe; she just needs to figure out how.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beca Beale was having lunch with her best friend, Stacie. Beca had just told Stacie she was pregnant.

"When are you going to tell Chloe?" Stacie asked.

"I literally just found out," Beca said. "I know that Mother's Day is coming up soon, and I want to do something special and tell her before then. That way we can tell our families on Mother's Day. And you can't say anything to Aubrey or anyone else until Chloe knows. Okay?"

"I promise, I won't say anything until Chloe knows."

"Good," Beca said. "Now I just need to figure out how to tell Chloe. I don't know what Chloe thought, but I thought it would take more than one try."

"Chloe's probably thinking the same thing," Stacie said. "It will be a nice surprise for it to happen so quickly. Do you have any ideas on how to tell her?"

"I saw a few cute ideas online the other day on how to tell your partner that you're pregnant. I just need to decide if I'm going to use one of them."

"What were some of the ideas?" Stacie asked.

"I saw one where they had a card made with a scratch-off on it," Beca said. "The card says I just wanted to tell you and they scratch off the area and it says I'm pregnant!"

"That sounds cute," Stacie said. "You could have a couple of them made and give one to Chloe and then give one to your moms on Mother's Day."

"I think I'll wait to see how Chloe wants to break the news to our families," Beca said. "I just thought of another idea I saw, and I think I'm going to do the coffee cup thing to tell Chloe. If I order it from Amazon I can get it as soon as tomorrow, Thursday at the latest."

"What's the coffee cup thing?" Stacie asked.

Beca pulled out her phone and pulled up a site. She handed the phone to Stacie.

"That's the coffee cup thing."

"This is a cute idea," Stacie said, looking at Beca. "I like this one."

Beca's phone pinged and Stace looked down at it. "Chloe's texting you."

Beca took her phone back from Stacie.

"Dammit," Beca said, reading Chloe's text. "Chloe's stuck at the station for an extra shift. I won't see her until late tomorrow morning."

"I'd say that's perfect," Stacie said. "Now, you can go home and order the cup and not have to worry about Chloe looking over your shoulder while you do it. Do same-day delivery and you can give it to her tomorrow."

"Same day delivery," Beca mumbled, looking down at her phone. "That's a great idea, Stace. I'm going to order it right now. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Stacie said. "If it works out, I'll have to borrow it for when Brey and I are ready to have a baby."

Beca looked up from her phone.

"Are you guys talking about it?"

"We've sort of been circling around it for a while."

"Too bad you didn't do it already," Beca said, as she began tapping away on her phone. "It would be awesome if we could be pregnant together."

Beca glanced quickly at Stacie; her gaze went back to her phone and she tapped a few more things.

"There," Beca said. "Done. It should be delivered between five and ten tonight. I can't wait to tell Chloe that we're pregnant."

~~ You're Going To Be One Hot Mama! ~~

The next morning, Chloe texted Beca to let her know she was in her car and on her way home. To save time texting back and forth, Beca decided to call Chloe.

"Hey, babe," Chloe said as she answered the call. Hearing Beca's huff she added, "Don't worry, I'm using the car's blue tooth to talk to you, so it's all hands-free."

"Good," Beca said. "Do you want me to have breakfast waiting for you?"

"You're home?" Chloe asked.

"Yes," Beca said. "Now about breakfast, yes or no?"

"Yes, please," Chloe responded. "Nothing heavy though. I plan on crashing as soon as I can."

"Okay. See you in a few."

As soon as Beca heard Chloe's car pulling into the garage, she made Chloe a cup of coffee in the special mug she had purchased. She was holding it out for Chloe as she came through the door connecting the kitchen to the garage.

"Thanks, babe," Chloe said as she took the cup, moaning as she inhaled the contents' rich aroma.

Chloe took a sip and then leaned over to kiss Beca.

"Sit down at the counter and I'll make your plate," Beca said, pulling back from the kiss.

"What are you doing home anyway?" Chloe asked as she sat down. "I thought you had to go into the studio today."

"The band had to reschedule so I took the day off to be home for you," Beca said.

"I love coming home and finding you here when I'm not expecting it," Chloe said, pulling Beca to her and wrapping her arms around Beca's waist. "It's the highlight of my day. I love you."

"I love you, too," Beca said as she wrapped her arms around Chloe's neck, pulling her into a heated kiss.

The kiss ended when Chloe yawned.

"Sorry, Becs," Chloe said. "We had a bunch of calls last night and I only had about an hour of actual sleep."

"No worries," Beca said, pulling out of Chloe's arms and going back over to the stove to put some scrambled eggs on a plate.

Chloe wiped her hands down her face and sighed. Beca grabbed some cut fruit and added it to the plate. She set the plate in front of Chloe.

"Eat up," Beca said. "Do you need more coffee?"

"I'm not finished with this cup yet," Chloe said, taking another sip.

"Okay," Beca said, watching Chloe. "Let me know if you want more."

Chloe started eating and Beca stood by watching her. She couldn't help but wonder how she got so lucky.

Beca and Chloe met four years ago and Chloe asked Beca to marry her after dating for one year. Since they met around Christmas they decided to have a Christmas wedding the following year. They'd been married for a year when they started talking about having a baby.

Talking had turned into the two of them getting tested to make sure it was possible. They both were fine, but Beca had some reservations about Chloe being the one to get pregnant. She knew that Chloe's job would make it difficult for her to still be an active firefighter while she was pregnant, so Beca said she'd carry their first child, and later they'd discuss who would carry the next if they wanted to have more.

Beca came out of her musings when she realized Chloe was calling her name.

"I'm sorry," Beca said. "Just taking a walk down memory lane."

"Good memories based on the smile on your face," Chloe said, covering her mouth as she yawned again.

"They were all of you, so of course they're good," Beca said, taking Chloe's plate. "Did you want more?"

"No, thanks," Chloe said, putting her coffee cup to her lips. "I think I'm going to bed."

"Okay," Beca said, rinsing Chloe's plate before putting it in the dishwasher.

"Oh, my God!" Chloe exclaimed, causing Beca to jump and turn around to see what Chloe was yelling about. "Is this for real?"

Beca noticed Chloe was looking down into her cup, smiling as she realized Chloe saw the message about becoming a mother on the bottom.

Beca nodded her head and Chloe let out a whoop. She rushed over to Beca and grabbed her around the waist, twirling her around.

Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe's neck and accepted the kiss Chloe gave her as she was set back down on her own two feet.

Chloe broke the kiss and dropped to her knees in front of Beca. She planted a kiss on Beca's stomach and looked up at her.

"I can't believe it worked on the first try," Chloe said as a tear ran down her cheek. "You are going to be one hot mama, babe."

"So are you," Beca said, wiping the tear from Chloe's cheek. "Our kid is going to hate how hot we are together."

Chloe chuckled. "We need to tell our parents."

"About that," Beca said, taking Chloe's hands and pulling her back up to a standing position. "I was thinking we could tell them in person when they're here for Mother's Day. If that's okay with you?"

"You expect me to keep this a secret for two whole weeks?"

"Yes?" Beca said. "It will make for one hell of a Mother's Day present don't you think?"

"You're right," Chloe said after thinking about it for a minute. "We'll wait and tell them on Mother's Day."

Seeing how tired Chloe was, Beca said, "Why don't you go get some sleep and we can celebrate later."

"Okay," Chloe said as she yawned again.

Chloe kissed Beca and turned to head to their bedroom. She stopped and looked back at Beca with a big smile on her face.

"I'm totes excited that we're going to be moms," she said. "Can I tell the guys at the station? What about Aubrey and Stacie?"

"Um," Beca said, scrunching her nose. "Stacie already knows. I'm sorry, but she was with me when I got the call from Dr. Madison. I made her promise not to tell Aubery or anyone else until I was able to tell you first."

"So, that's a yes to me being able to tell the guys?" Chloe asked with a big smile.

Beca chuckled. "Yes, that's a yes to telling the guys. Now go get some sleep. I have some plans for you later."

"Can't wait," Chloe said and went off to bed.

~~ You're Going To Be One Hot Mama! ~~

During her next shift, Chloe told the guys at the fire station about Beca's pregnancy. They were all excited for the couple.

"Being a parent is the best thing in the world," Chicago said.

"Emily and I are getting serious and we both want kids," Benji said. "I'm looking forward to being a dad, too."

"I don't know if I want kids," Jesse said.

Chicago laughed and said, "I didn't think I did either until I found out we were having one of our own." He let out a content sigh. "It's the scariest, most awesome thing to ever happen to me."

Chloe smiled. "I'm looking forward to it. I hope I'm able to carry the next one."

"You want more than one?" Jesse asked.

"I do," Chloe said. "I think Beca does, too. We're both only children and we've both said we always wanted brothers or sisters."

"Won't you have to be placed on desk duty if you're pregnant?" Benji asked. "How will you handle that?"

"Desk duty is pretty much a given, I think," Chloe said. "And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure my baby is safe and there are no complications to him or her being born safely." She chuckled. "I need to take a step back. We need to get through this first one and see how things go before we start working on number two."

The station's alarm sounded and everyone rushed to get to the truck.

~~ You're Going To Be One Hot Mama! ~~

Beca invited Stacie and Aubrey over for dinner one night when Chloe didn't have a shift at the station.

"Thanks for the wine, Aubrey," Chloe said. "Would you two like some now or wait until dinner?"

"I'd like some now," Aubrey said.

"Me, too," Stacie said.

Chloe stood and looked at Beca. "Babe, what would you like to drink?"

"I'll just have water," Beca told her

"Oo, try the wine, Beca," Aubrey said. "Trust me, you'll love it."

"I'm sure it's great," Beca said. "But I can't."

"Why?" Aubrey asked.

Seeing the look Beca and Chloe shared, Aubrey sat up and asked, "Oh my gosh, are you pregnant?"

"Yes, we are," Chloe responded with a big smile. "Beca just told me last week."

"I knew," Stacie said. "But I promised not to tell you or anyone until Chloe knew."

Aubrey smacked Stacie on the arm. "You knew and you didn't tell me? I'm your wife!"

"Aubrey, I made her promise not to tell," Beca said. "I'm going to go check on dinner. No fighting while I'm gone."

"I'll help," Chloe said. "I'll be back with the wine in a few minutes."

~~ You're Going To Be One Hot Mama! ~~

Mother's Day arrived and Chloe was nervous and excited all at once. Beca had found a cute fun way to tell their families she was pregnant.

Chloe couldn't help the smile that she wore after seeing the shirt Beca was wearing. Beca put a sweater over it and buttoned it halfway so you couldn't see what was on the shirt underneath.

"How does it look?" Beca asked Chloe. "Can you see the words?"

"Nope," Chloe said. "I love this idea. I wonder who will notice first."

"My money is on your mom," Beca said. "I swear nothing gets by Mama Beale."

The sound of the doorbell rang throughout the house.

"Showtime," Chloe said, taking Beca's hand to go greet their guests.

The Mother's Day get-together was going strong and everyone that was supposed to be there had arrived. Tables and chairs were set up in the back yard and everyone was relaxing and chatting, as they waited for the food to be ready.

Since it was Mother's Day, the women sat back and enjoyed the day, while Beca's dad, Ben, and stepdad, Paul, were manning the grills; Chloe's dad, Carl, was playing bartender and handing out drinks to everyone.

Beca and Chloe were talking to Ben and Paul when Chloe's mother, Charlotte, called them over to her.

"Beca, why are you wearing that sweater?" Charlotte asked. "It's over eighty degrees out here. You must be burning up."

"It's much cooler inside and I was a little chilly," Beca said. "But, you're right, it is warm out here. I'm going to take it off."

"Good," Sarah, Beca's mother, said. "We don't need you passing out from being too hot."

"I'll help you take it off," Chloe said, reaching to help Beca.

Beca faced Chloe and smiled as Chloe pushed the sweater off Beca's shoulders; Beca let it fall to the ground.

"Is it straight?" Beca whispered, looking down at her shirt.

Chloe put her hands on Beca's hips and adjusted the shirt slightly. "There," she said. "It's perfect."

Beca turned around and picked her sweater up off the ground. She made sure her shirt could be seen, but none of the parents paid her any attention.

"I'm just going to put his inside," Beca said, to no one in particular.

"I'll take it in," Chloe said. "You stay out here with our moms."

"Thanks, baby," Beca said, emphasizing the word baby as she handed the sweater to Chloe.

Chloe looked around as she took the sweater; still, no one was paying her or Beca any attention.

"I'll be right back," Chloe said and made her way inside.

Beca slowly made her way around the yard; again no one paid any attention to her.

Chloe came back out and rushed over to her.

"Anything?" Chloe whispered.

"Nothing," Beca whispered back, holding out her arms. "It's like I'm invisible."

"Hey, Beca!" Paul called out to her.

"Yeah?" Beca responded, turning to fully face him.

"What the Hell are you constructing?" Paul asked. "And why didn't you call me to help you out? I could definitely finish the job before December."

Beca and Chloe looked at each other and started laughing.

"I'm sorry, Paul," Beca said, still laughing. "But, this is not something I should be asking my stepfather for help with."

"What is he talking about, Beca?" Sarah asked.

Beca turned, and suddenly Charlotte and Sarah squealed. They ran over to Beca and Chloe.

"Does this mean what we think it means?" Charlotte asked, looking at Beca's shirt.

"Please say it does," Sarah said, eyes gleaming with hope.

"It does," Beca and Chloe said simultaneously.

"What is it supposed to mean?" Carl asked, walking over to the women.

"Read it carefully," Charlotte told him, pointing at Beca's shirt.

Carl read the shirt aloud. "Under Construction. Estimated Completion Date - December 2021."

Carl furrowed his brow and suddenly his eyes widened when he realized what the shirt meant.

"Does this mean I'm going to be a Grandfather!?"

"Yes," Beca, Chloe, Charlotte, and Sarah all yell.

Soon both sides of the family were hugging Beca and Chloe, extending their congratulations. Beca stood by and accepted all the hugs and love with a big smile on her face. Chloe stood by her side with a beaming smile.

Later that night, after the excited Grandparents-to-be finally go home, Beca and Chloe were lying in bed. Chloe, as she had been doing since Beca told her she was pregnant, was laying with her head near Beca's stomach. She kissed Beca's stomach and whispered "I love you, baby Beale" before moving up to grab Beca's lips in a kiss.

"And I love you," Chloe said, looking down at Beca.

"I love you, too," Beca said, pulling Chloe down for another kiss.

-----------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This was supposed to be published on Mother's Day, but my son had a few surprises for me and I wasn't able to complete it and get it posted in time. So, Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I hope you had a great day and I hope you enjoyed this little slice of fluff!

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

What if...

These are the canon divergence drabbles that I’ve already posted, but arranged in chronological order...  Enjoy!

Anna looked around the valley where Kristoff had brought her, trying to see where these friends or family of his were.  All she saw were rocks, and rich green moss.  For whatever reason, this place hadn’t gotten any snow, but in spite of the warm steam vents, Anna still felt increasingly cold.

Olaf suggested she should go, and then the rocks started moving. Anna felt a wave of cold, and everything went black. Kristoff was holding her as she came to, and someone was speaking… a troll?   

“Anna, we’ve got to get you back to Hans,” Kristoff told her. 

“Hans…”

***

“So, you’re the young man who rescued Princess Anna from her folly?” 

Kristoff nodded silently, not sure how he should be addressing this Prince Hans that he had heard both so much and so little about.

“Queen Elsa told me that she’s given you a title. It’s no kind of title that I’ve ever heard of, but I guess she wants to keep you around.  If Anna and I weren’t already engaged, I think I might feel some jealousy.”

Kristoff’s eyes widened, afraid to look away even as Hans’s eyes dug into his gaze.

“Relax, have a drink!” Hans laughed.

***

It wasn’t in his nature to care, Kristoff thought to himself.  He had taken her to the North Mountain, and he’d helped get her back to Arendelle, but it was because he needed the money.  It wasn’t anything else.  

And of course he’d carried her when they had arrived at the castle, she was too weak at that point to walk, and of course he was grateful when the spell broke and Anna was better, who wouldn’t be?  It was pure luck that Hans had just gotten back with Elsa, because imagine if they hadn’t gotten to Elsa right away…

***

Her eyes were blue.  Kristoff wasn’t very poetic, and while he’d heard so many other words to describe the colors exactly, he could never be sure exactly what color turquoise was supposed to be, and whether it was more blue or more green. And what was aquamarine, exactly?  And the color of her eyes was different sometimes.  When he took her back to the castle in the snowstorm, they were almost grey.

The ice was in the wagon, ready to bring to the castle. He wasn’t supposed to think about this. He wasn’t supposed to think about her like this. 

***

“So the wedding is happening next week?” Kristoff asked Elsa, not really needing confirmation of the schedule.  

“Yes,” she replied, wringing her hands as she stood in the kitchen doorway, “Anna was quite determined, and she… she can be quite persuasive, you know.”

“So you approve now?”

“I have my reasons,” Elsa sighed.

“I mean, you didn’t know him before, so that’s understandable.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Elsa said quickly, “you’re absolutely right.”

“I have to admit, when she first told me, I questioned her judgement.”

“Her naivety is certainly charming, don’t you think?” Hans asked, startling both of them.

***

“Hans and I never fight,” Anna declared confidently, “in fact, I don’t think we’ve ever had a fight.”

Kristoff nodded silently as he unloaded more ice into the castle kitchen.  Anna was watching him from the interior door.

“I know why you’re skeptical. I shouldn’t have told you so much last week. I really shouldn’t let my mouth run like that.”

Kristoff paused what he was doing. “So you’re telling me what you said wasn’t true?”

“I…” she paused.  “I could have phrased it better.  I was upset that he was traveling again. That was all. It wasn’t a fight.”

***

“What?!” Anna exclaimed, coming into the courtyard decorated with bright yellow sunflowers.  

“Happy Birthday!” everyone exclaimed in unison.

“Elsa? Did you do this for me?”

“Of course!  You deserve a proper birthday!”

“And everyone is here!” Anna said, starting to cry.

“Except Ha-mmph” Olaf began before Kristoff muffled his mouth. 

“Well,” Anna sniffed, “he had… something he needed to travel for.”

Kristoff noticed Elsa clench her jaw.

Anna didn’t seem to notice, but walked over to Gerda when she heard the baby fuss slightly.  

“Please, Your Highness, we’ll take care of him right now.  You need to enjoy your cake.”

***

"Kristoff!" Anna exclaimed happily as she entered the kitchen.

"You sound surprised to see me," Kristoff chuckled.

"I didn't realize you would be here this early."

"You're usually not up this early."

"Well, the baby was up most of the night. I'm wide awake now."

"I thought royalty always had servants to take care of those things." Kristoff winked.

"Hans wants me to, but it's not what I want. Elsa has made it clear to him that I get to decide on this."

Kristoff nodded, and turned around to get another block of ice. Anna thought she heard him sigh.

***

Kristoff helped set down another row of pumpkins for the harvest. The color made him think of Anna’s hair… like the orange crystal he had found on his last trip to the mountains.  He gazed at the princess helping across the square, her young son following along cheerfully.  Kristoff walked toward them to see if he could help out.

“Kristoff! Look! A ship!” the boy shouted.  

“What?” Anna said, looking up.  “Hans’s ship! They’re back from the West Indies already!”

“Is Father home early?” the boy asked.

Kristoff nodded.  “You two should go greet him,” he said, forcing a smile.

***

“Do you enjoy these games in which the player must appear ridiculous?”

Elsa looked over.  “Hans, life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous.”

“Not my life.”

“You’ve never been home for our games before,” Anna whispered apologetically. Elsa went back to shouting out guesses to the word Kristoff was trying to act out, while Olaf offered increasingly ridiculous suggestions.  “We do this fairly often.”

“I can see that,” he sneered.

The bell rang.  Everyone except Hans let out a groan.

“Ice!” Kristoff exclaimed.

“You couldn’t act out ice?” Anna laughed.

“Anna, it’s your turn,” Kristoff announced.

***

The fire from the lantern cast a glow over the wagon. 

“They’re both asleep!” Anna whispered, climbing over to the front with Kristoff.

“How are you doing?” he asked her, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

“I’m fine,” she replied, suspiciously cheerful.

“You’re sure?”

“They’ll be fine.  Hans knows what he’s doing.”

“He knows how to run a kingdom.”

Anna began crying.

“Hey, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s the first time I’ve been away from him since he was born,” she sniffed.

“Come here,” Kristoff said, putting his arm around her.

“Thank you, Kristoff,” she yawned, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

***

The autumn leaves were a deep red in the clearing.  Elsa had told Anna her plan to stay with the Northuldra and the spirits, which meant that Anna would now be Queen, and now Anna was sitting alone while everyone else made plans to head back south to Arendelle. 

“Hey.” Anna heard the painfully familiar, gentle voice behind her.  “Can I join you?” Kristoff asked as she turned around, smiling sadly.

“Of course!” she insisted, “You’re always welcome.”

“Elsa told me…”

Anna nodded.

“I’ll help you get back to Hans,” he said, “and then…”

“No,” she grabbed his hand, “Please…”

***

Kristoff pulled away from the kiss.  “Anna, no, we can’t.”

“Please, Kristoff,” she pleaded, “tomorrow night, we’ll be back in Arendelle, and everything will be just as it was.”

“It’s not gonna be the same-”

“Yes, I’m the Queen now. You have to do what I say,” she teased, pulling him to her.

“Anna!” Kristoff kissed her forehead.  “Don’t do this to me.”

“I wish I’d listened,” she sighed, holding back tears as she sat down.

“Listened?” 

“When you told me I shouldn’t marry him.” she looked up, eyes filled with passion. “Some days, I wish I’d married you instead.”

***

The warmth of Anna’s skin against his was all he wanted to think about.  She was warm and soft, and that was all that mattered.  When he thought about nearly losing her when the dam broke yesterday, he held her tighter.  

He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, when they would return to Arendelle.

Tomorrow, he would return her to her husband.  She wasn’t his, and never would be.  This was borrowed time.  Years of secret longing had won out over his best judgement.  

“I love you, Kristoff,” Anna murmured into his shoulder.  

She wasn’t his, but he was hers.

***

Sunshine streamed across the square as Kai announced “Queen Anna of Arendelle” to the cheering crowd.  Anna walked along, smiling and waving.

Her coronation had happened a few days after they had returned from the Enchanted Forest.  Today they were dedicating the new statue.  Hans was skeptical of the idea, but she was sure he’d come around.  He would probably be in a better mood once the council approved his new title, and was even now inside the tent talking with an elderly duke.

“Your Majesty,” came the familiar voice.

“Kristoff!” she exclaimed happily, “You’re here?”

“Of course,” he smiled.

***

The ice harvest was exhausting, but exhausting in a good way.  Kristoff liked being too worn out to think at the end of the day.  Ever since he’d met her, Anna occupied his thoughts if he wasn’t careful.  Before, it was frustrating, but fine. It was fine. She was beautiful and funny and so many other things, but she was married to someone else.

She was still married to someone else, but now… He felt guilty about it, and yet, she was clearly so much happier when he was around. 

There was no way this could end well, and yet…

***

“Good morning, Kristoff,” Anna announced cheerfully, stepping into the kitchen.

“Your Majesty,” Kristoff replied with full propriety, raising his eyebrows and giving a subtle nod in the direction of the kitchen maid.

“Oh!” Anna exclaimed, “they have you working early this morning, Oline.”

“Your Majesty,” she smiled, “there’s a dinner for the visiting Russian royalty this evening, so they needed me to start the preparations early.”

“My goodness, I quite forgot!” Anna exclaimed. She glanced over at Kristoff, who grimaced as he lifted the final block of ice.

“Your Majesty, I hope you enjoy your day,” Kristoff announced, heading out.

***

Kristoff could never beat the sunrise in the summer.  They weren’t that far north, but if he slept at all during the night, he would miss the sunrise.  He brought the ice into the castle kitchen, not sure whether or not he wanted to be finished before anyone else showed up.  

He didn’t know what the news would be, but at sunset the night before he had heard the excited commotion that the Queen was in labor.  He had tried his best to keep busy, looking no more interested than anyone else. After all, she told him she wasn't certain. 

***

Anna stared out over the fjord from the window.  The sun reflecting off the water was glaring, and it hurt her eyes, but she needed to look, to try to see if Kristoff was in town today.  It wouldn’t do for her to go out, not this soon, but she desperately wanted him to see the baby, to know with a subtle nod what she could already guess, even at only a week old.  

She finally saw him across the market square, bringing in an ice delivery, as always.  It was a warm August day, and she opened the window.

***

“Oh, here they are, their highnesses!” the cook smiled as the nanny brought the two into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” the boy greeted her.  

“Morning!” his little sister followed.

“How is Her Majesty doing?” the cook asked the nanny quietly as the children tasted the morning’s pastries.

“Quite well.  And the baby is healthy, too.” 

“Who does this one resemble?” 

“Oh, you know it’s too early to tell.”

“The girl looks so much like... her aunt... of course.  Except for the eyes.” She looked at the girl’s face as she took another pastry.  “Her eyes… Oh, here’s the ice delivery!”

***

“Yay! We’re going to visit Aunt Elsa!” the little blonde girl cheered as Kristoff lifted her into the wagon, her hazel eyes sparkling with joy.

“Mother, why does Father never visit the Northuldra with us?” her older brother asked innocently, climbing over the back of the wagon.

“There’s been too much to do in the West Indies,” Anna explained, shifting the baby to her other hip so that Kristoff could assist them up.  “He misses you all terribly when he’s away.”

Kristoff met Anna’s eyes, knowing very well the look when she hid the truth.

“Ready Sven? Let’s get going!”

***

There was always a strange calm after a heavy snow.  Anna went out with the children to play in the fresh snow, a rare luxury in recent years, since Hans insisted it was unbecoming for a Queen.  But he wasn’t here, traveling again, so she did what she wanted.

The youngest toddled through the snow, having just turned a year old.  Anna found the mess of blond hair both adorable and terrifying.  

Eventually, the cold, wet snow was too much, and the nanny helped them inside for warm baths and bedtime. 

Anna stepped into a spare room.

“Kristoff,” she whispered.

***

The purple crocuses were blooming in town even before all the snow had melted in the hills above.  As the days got warmer, the children went out to play, and the melting ice meant that more ships would soon be visiting the harbor.

Anna watched as her three children ran around with the children from the town.  She spotted Kristoff returning from the castle. 

"Your Majesty," he bowed with a knowing smirk.

"Have you finished the ice delivery?" Anna asked as they walked to a protected corner of the market square. He nodded.

"When is he returning?" Kristoff asked her. 

***

“Are you going to run off with him now?” Hans asked dryly.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve only been back from the West Indies for a month. I’m not stupid. Before you’ve been much better about providing plausible deniability.”

“Before… what do you mean?”

“The first one, I know he’s mine.  But the others…  the girl, yes, they say she resembles her aunt.  That’s very convenient.  The younger boy, though, do you think I’m blind?  Do you think there aren’t whispers among the staff?”

“Are you threatening me?  I’m the Queen.”

“Your condition is delicate, I can just wait.

***

“Kristoff!” Anna hissed as his cart entered the castle gates.

“Anna!” Kristoff gasped, not expecting to see anyone in the early summer morning twilight.

“You’ve got to get out of here,” she whispered, running up to him, “Hans knows.”

“What about you?” 

“I’ll be fine.”

“How can you be sure?”

“He wasn’t in a rage, in fact he was very calm…  it won’t do to have anything happen to me or the children.  I think we can count on that much.”

“Is that what he really said?”

“Please, Kristoff, just go…  they’ll be safe enough.”

“But will you be safe?”

***

Anna sat in the middle of the portrait gallery and looked around. The people in the paintings seemed to be glaring down at her.  Their grace and beauty had always inspired her, but she didn’t know what to do now.  

She had warned Kristoff to get away, but he wasn’t leaving until she was safe.  He was right, though, there were no good options.  Arendelle had no army or navy. Any defiance on her part would bring in the Southern Isles. Anyone who came to her defense was at risk.

“Mama?” her daughter’s voice echoed from the doorway.

“Yes, Inga?” 

***

They’d taken flight the night before, away from Arendelle.  Kristoff had Sven taking the wagon at top speed. This was madness but what other choice did they have at this point?  Hans knew, and it was bad enough that she was at risk, but she couldn’t put Kristoff at risk.  

The mountains grew less familiar.  They were deep in the woods now.  He knew where they were going, but she didn’t really remember.  He had said something about the trolls.  She would have to trust him. He said she’d been there before.  She couldn’t remember very much. They were close.

***

Kristoff knew the risk of returning to Arendelle, especially so soon, but Anna was safe with her sister, and he needed to see for himself what the official story was going to be, and besides, he had never seen a state funeral before.  

The ceremony was brief, but Kristoff could see that all the children were well.  The oldest looked oddly mature for a boy of seven, standing solemnly next to his father, now the regent, the two looking like a matched set. The younger two, their heads covered, were well tended by the nanny. He wanted to hug them.

***

The sadness was overwhelming.  Anna woke up and looked around.  She was alive.  Kristoff was alive.  They were safe.  She had to trust that the children were more valuable alive, like Hans had promised.  But as far as anyone in Arendelle knew, she was dead.   

But she had gotten herself into this mess.  She had gotten into this mess years ago, and had blithely trusted that things would be fine, and never said stop when she should have.  Could they ever go back?

As she stepped outside, she saw a familiar gust of wind. A letter fell into her hand.

***

Dear Mother,

I remember that you told me that the wind spirit will always get letters to you, so I’m going to try writing to you, even though they tell me that you’re dead now.  At your funeral, you and the baby were covered with a dark veil, and they said it was best that I not look.  

Freddy has been asking for you.  Inga just cries. I’m working hard at my studies, like you told me to.  Father tells me that he will take care of running the kingdom until I’m old enough.  Please write back.

With love,

Lars

***

Dearest Lars,

I wish I could tell you where I am, but please know that I am safe and well.  Try to cheer up your brother and sister the best you can, and tell them I love them. 

You must hide the letters you get from me, and never tell anyone about them.  I won’t ask you to keep any other secrets, but please keep this secret.  I hope when you’re older, I’ll be able to tell you everything.  

Until then, I want to hear all about your studies and your games and everything going on.

I love you,

Mother

***

Dear Mother,

I’ve hidden your letter in the secret room you showed me when I was five, the one you said that Father doesn’t need to know about. 

I get to ring the Yule Bell this year.  There wasn’t a Harvest Festival because everyone was still in State Mourning, that’s what they called it.  I’m not sure if we’re still supposed to be in State Mourning, but Nanny has me wearing black every day, but Inga and Freddy don’t have to.

My studies are going very well, and I’ve started studying Latin.  I play when I can.

With love,

Lars

***

Dearest Lars,

I’m so happy that your studies are going well.  You’ll need all of that in the future.  There are some books in the secret room that you should be sure to read.  

Please make sure your brother and sister are happy and well. Please let me know about how they’re doing.  

I wish I could see you all right now.  I miss you so much.  Think of me when you’re ringing the Yule Bell this year.  I know the preparations will be keeping you busy, so only write back when you have enough time.

I love you,

Mother

***

Dear Mother,

The Yule Bell ringing went very well, and everyone told me how brave and dignified I looked.  Father says we are still in mourning, so we didn’t get to celebrate anything for Christmas.  The Yule Bell is for the people, so we needed to maintain that.  We spent most of the week in the chapel, otherwise I would have written to you earlier. 

I hope wherever you are you enjoyed the holidays.  They let us play out in the snow, and I taught Inga and Freddy the song about the trolls.  Do you remember it?

With love,

Lars

***

Dearest Lars, 

I’m sorry for not writing back sooner, but I needed to wait until there was more paper, and the weather was too unpredictable to be traveling this winter.  I hope you understand.  

I hope you’ll be doing something nice for your birthday in a few weeks.  There is a book in the secret room, next to the north window, on the third shelf from the bottom.  It was my favorite when I was about your age. I hid it there for safe keeping. Tell me what you think.

Please give hugs to Inga and Freddy.

Fondest love,

Mother

***

Dear Mother,

I found the book, thank you so much!  I’ve read it several times now, though only when I can get to the secret room with nobody seeing me.  

Now that I’m eight my tutor says I should spend even more time on my studies, and he thinks I can go ahead and start learning Greek in addition to Latin.  I’ve also been practicing riding, and I’ve gotten quite good at it.  Father says that’s important, too. He’s going to find someone to teach me fencing soon.  

Do you want anything for your birthday next month?

With love,

Lars

***

Dearest Lars,

You don’t need to get anything for my birthday, but please make sure that your brother and sister know that it’s my birthday. I’m so happy that you enjoyed the book.  Like I said, it was one of my favorites.  

I hope you do lots of riding now that the weather is nice.  Try to go beyond the castle courtyard now that you’ve got some experience, if your tutors will let you. 

I miss you so much. I know I’ve said that many times, but I do. Give hugs to Inga and Freddy for me.

Much love,

Mother

***

Dear Mother,

I’ve had a very good summer so far. I spent lots of time riding around the countryside with my riding tutor, and we often went to the cliffs to see down to the fjord.  I like looking out at the ocean.

I’m not as good at fencing, but I’m practicing.  It doesn’t seem quite as fun as pretend sword fighting, and the tutor is very strict about it. 

Inga’s birthday is next week.  She’ll be five, and Father says he supposes she should have a governess soon, but she’s already reading my books.  

I miss you.

Love,

Lars

***

Dearest Lars,

There is a trunk in the secret room, near the south window. If you open it, you should find a doll on the top.  Please give that to Inga for her birthday.  Don’t tell anyone where you found it, of course.   

Make sure that you share all your school books with her, and please make sure she’s learning everything that you’ve learned.  Let me know how she’s doing, of course.  And Freddy, too.  I haven’t forgotten him. Make sure they all get hugs, and let me know if they’re happy.

Take care of yourself, too.

Fondest love,

Mother

***

Dear Mother, 

It’s been a year since they told me you died.  We spent the day at a memorial service.  Father was acting very sad, which he hasn’t been most of the time.  Maybe it was the ceremony. If I weren’t getting your letters, I think I’d be sad, too.  Nanny had to take Freddy out because he was making a scene.  Inga was sad, but I tried to make her happy afterwards.

Father will be traveling to the West Indies in a few days, and he doesn’t know when he’ll get back.  

I still miss you, Mother.

Love,

Lars

***

Walking into the library, Inga saw her older brother out on the balcony throw something into the air.

"What was that?"

He startled. "Nothing… just thinking about Mother."

"Oh. I wonder what she would think about you secretly teaching me Latin."

"Very much in favor," he smiled.

"I'd like to think that," she sighed. "I certainly wish Father approved. All I get now is French and dance. I must marry well."

Her brother cleared his throat. "Nevermind that, here's Cicero."

She opened the book at the bookmark. "Iustitia…" hesitating, she looked up at her brother. 

"That means 'justice'," he explained.

***

The Bishop continued to intone about the eternal. Was the afterlife where she would see her mother again? This was the anniversary of her mother’s death. She hadn't seen her since the age of four. Her younger brother was too young to remember, while her older brother, king in name only, was always strangely calm on this day. For her father, the regent, this day was the only day of the year he showed signs of emotion over his late wife.  In ten years, she had only seen him grieve at public events. The memories never sat right with her.

***

“This is an affront!” Hans shouted, slamming his hand down on the table.

“Excuse me,” the crown princess replied calmly, “but we’re not the ones trying to turn our child’s engagement into a business transaction.  She’s a sweet girl, and he seems to like her, so we have no objections, they have our blessing, but that doesn’t mean you or Arendelle should get any special privileges.”

“She is only seventeen,” he reminded them. “You expect me to let her go so young?”

“He wasn’t asking you permission to get married right away. At any rate, you came to us, remember?”

***

“You should kneel.”

“Why? You’re not the king, and as of yesterday, you’re no longer regent.” She stood up as tall as she could, not quite reaching his eye level, but close enough.  He wasn’t towering over her.

“Your brother may have come of age, but you haven’t. I have half a mind to send you to a convent.”

“Go ahead, Father. If I’m Catholic, that makes me worthless to England, and then where’s your bargaining chip for Russia?” she asked seriously.

“Enough of this!” he shouted, “you’re getting to be as bad as your mother.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Wedding Dresses - What You Wear Getting Married to Each of the Triple Frontier Men

Pairings: Will Miller x Reader, Ben Miller x Reader, Frankie Morales x Reader, Santiago Garcia x Reader, Tom Davis x Reader Rating: T Warnings: Light cursing Notes: Like halfway through writing this I was like ‘hey, I know! Moodboards!’ Which I don’t do often so I’m sorry if they’re...Bad. I also wound up Pinteresting like c r a z y for this so if you want a link to anything I gotchu ;) The actual headcanons also got away from me while I was writing them, so. Whoops.

Will Miller - Romantic Lacy A-Line

You’d both waited for this - for a long time. You knew it wasn’t going to be a big event; just your families and your closest friends. Will was already covered in the wedding wear department - he was going to be wearing his dress uniform, he didn’t even have to worry about a tux. You on the other hand, well. You had a few things to consider. The reception was going to be in his parents’ backyard; you knew it would be decorated with white string lights and mason jars full of flowers. It’d be sweet, romantic. You decided that you wanted your dress to capture that feeling. Going into dress shopping, you weren’t sure about lace - you didn’t want to look like a tablecloth. But the embroidered bodice of the dress had thrown you for a loop - and the lace didn’t blanket the skirt, it was placed expertly throughout. You felt delicate and romantic in it. You opted for a shorter veil; you were sure it would come off after the ceremony, anyway, and you didn’t want to worry about it. You decided to wear the necklace that Will had given you for your last anniversary, and found shoes that complimented the lace detail on the dress. “You find a dress?” Will asked you when you came home from dress shopping. You’d told him that you had. “Do I get a hint?” He’d asked. “I got a mini dress. Barely covers my thighs -- neckline down to my navel. You’re gonna love it, babe,” You’d teased. Will had laughed, swept you into a kiss. “You could wear a burlap sack and I’d love it,” He’d sworn. After your ceremony, as the two of you drove to his parent’s house for the reception, he leaned over, kissing you sweetly at a red light. “For the record,” He murmured, “I think I actually like this better than a burlap sack.” “...But less than a mini dress?” You asked. Ben Miller - Boho Chic Dress - with a surprise two-piece look for the reception

It was going to be a party, you knew that going in. The first thing you and Benny had booked was the frickin’ DJ. You knew going into dress shopping that you’d be looking for something you’d be able to dance in, and something that you’d be comfortable in all night - the two of you were getting married in mid-July; it was going to be hot. Benny had told you, “Look, I don’t care what you wear -- we’ve gotta be able to move, babe. None of that tight-- waddle-walk type dress shit, what’s it called? Penguin?” “Mermaid!” You’d corrected him once you’d managed to stop laughing. The dress that you wound up with wasn’t the ‘traditional’ wedding dress, but you and Benny weren’t a traditional couple. The slit meant an ease of motion while you were walking; the skirt was flowy and wouldn’t be too heavy in the summer heat. You choose gold-heeled boots instead of high-heels, not wanting to worry about tottering down the aisle. You had assumed you were all set when you left the bridal salon. You didn’t find the two-piece look until you went back for your dress fitting. You’d been toying with the idea of a separate reception dress, and you’d spotted the jumpsuit on your way into the salon. Your maid of honor hadn’t even bothered to try to talk you out of it - she knew she’d never win. Benny had loved your dress when he saw it, but when he saw your reception outfit? “... I married the smartest fucking woman-- Holy shit, it has pockets?”

Frankie Morales  - Princess-y Ballgown 

Frankie had thought about his wedding day - a lot. So had you. You just hadn’t realized that the both of you had considered what you would be wearing so much. You had bought a couple of bridal magazines and you kept them around to flip through for inspiration; every once in a while, when you were looking through one, he’d lean over your shoulder and mutter, “That one’s nice.” Sometimes you’d open a magazine to find a page with a ballgown on it dog-earred. The first couple of times that this happened, you’d figured that you’d done it and just forgotten. The fifth time, though, you’d held it up, showing it to Frankie. “Did you mark this for me, babe?” You asked. He glanced at it, muttered, “Might’ve,” Before slouching down on the couch a little more and turning back to the tv. Hint hint, Future-Mrs. Morales. You were surprised at how strongly he felt about you wearing a ballgown-style wedding dress. You wanted to look hot; he wanted you to look like a princess. To him, you were one. You didn’t think you wanted a ballgown. But, since he’d mentioned it, you decided to try one on when you went shopping. You fell in love with it the second you saw yourself in it. The strapless sweetheart top and a lacy, partially see-through bodice was a little bit sexy; the full, layered, lacy skirt made you feel the way Frankie saw you: like a princess. You got the best of both worlds. Frankie’s mom lent you her veil, giving you your something borrowed; your mother gifted you the necklace she wore on her wedding day, giving you your something old. Your shoes and your dress were your something new, and your flowers were your something blue. Frankie cried when he saw you coming down the aisle. Santiago teased him about it, but he didn’t care. You’d never looked more beautiful. Santiago Garcia - Alluring Mermaid Dress

Santiago did not think he was ever going to get married. You knew that. That was why you hadn’t expected him to be such a Groomzilla. Alright, maybe ‘Groomzilla’ was an exaggeration, but Santiago was kind of...Particular when it came to the things that he wanted - even more particular than you were. 

“Are you gonna micro-manage my dress, too?” You’d been teasing him when you’d asked that. He didn’t even look away from the email he was sending to the caterer. “If that’s a serious question then yeah, I have some thoughts,” He’d said. It had definitely not been a serious question, but you did want to see what he had in mind. Santiago had sent the email off, then tugged you into his lap and pulled up a folder on his laptop labeled ‘Wedding Ideas’ (which you'd had no idea he had - but it really shouldn’t have surprised you; Santiago was a planner, through and through). The dresses he’d looked at were sexy, bordering on skimpy. “You know my family will faint if they see me in that,” You’d told him after he’d clicked on one dress that was entirely see-through, save for some expertly placed lace, “That looks more like lingerie than a wedding dress-- what kind of underwear am I even supposed to wear with that?” “Who says you have to wear any?” Santiago countered. The pictures that he’d shown you had been fresh in your mind when you’d gone shopping for dresses. You’d had ideas of what you’d wanted to wear, and you wanted to find a happy medium between your preferences and his. In this dress, you did. It had a sexy-ish top, and a form-fitting silhouette that showed off your body. Santiago broke out into the widest grin when he saw you walking down the aisle. He broke into a wider one when you pinched his shoulder during your first dance, after he whispered to you, “So where did we net out on the underwear situation?” Tom Davis - Classic A-Line V-Neck

Tom wasn’t against getting married again, obviously, but he didn’t want to make it a massive deal. He already did the big wedding thing once. You knew that he was a little trepidatious about the process. He told you while you’re planning that he was fine, but he was a little more tense than usual in the months leading up to it. You did your best to involve him in the planning without overwhelming him with it, and when you asked him what kind of dress he'd like to see you in, he was surprised. He wasn’t involved in that process last time. He asked you to let him think about it, and you agreed. You found out after the fact, of course, that Tom, in typical Tom fashion, had been incredibly thorough: did research on different silhouettes, wedding trends over the last five years -- he even took undergarment types into consideration. But when he’d come back to you, he’d simply said that he wanted you to wear whatever you’d be happiest in; it was your day. You’d frowned, cupped his cheeks, and said, “Sweetheart, it’s ours.” He’d nearly cried. Tess was with you when you’d found the dress. The two of you got along well, and you’d been involving her in the wedding planning where you could. Your maid of honor hadn’t been able to get the day off of work, and you hadn’t wanted to go alone. You’d tried on a few dresses, with varied silhouettes and fabrics. You were hesitant to try on something that seemed a little more plain on the hanger, but this satin A-line ivory dress had caught your eye. Tess had helped you accessorize, and suggested a belt that had given the look just the right amount of bling. “Do you think your dad will like it?” You’d asked uncertainly. Tess had met your eyes on the mirror. “Do you love it?” She’d asked. You’d nodded, and she’d smiled and said, “Then so will he.”

[earthlyemily]

I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is emilymiddin@hotmail.com or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is emilymiddin@icloud.com i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

[janeyseymour]

Breakable

WC: 6783

As much as everyone wants to believe that Jane Seymour was unbreakable- it just wasn’t true. The third queen needed help from her fellow queens. And they didn’t mind one bit. Sometimes, it was a bit more outward than others. Sometimes, it was a bigger deal than other times- from sitting with her after a nightmare to simply getting her a mug of tea, but they were always there for the demure queen.

I.

The gold queen stood outside of the blonde’s door for a few minutes, listening to Jane’s quiet sobs, hoping they would die down soon. It broke her heart to hear the sweet woman in such a state. When they only proceeded to get shakier and she could hear the third queen hiccuping, she knew she had to check in on her.

“Jane?” The first queen knocked lightly. “It’s Lina. Can I come in?”

“I, uh, oh, uh,” Jane stuttered from inside her room. “Just give me a second. I’m uh, getting changed,” she lied through her teeth, knowing that Catherine knew she was lying. She wiped at her tears and took a deep breath. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the way to open the door, and she broke down again.

“Actually Lina, I think I’m just going to, uh- I’m not really up for company right now. I uh, need to think some things through.”

“Querida, please? I’m worried for you.” Catherine was not one to beg and plead, despite what her song may have said about her in SiX.

“Lina, I-” the silver queen, despite her brain telling her not to open the door, opened the door.

“Oh sweetie,” the first queen sighed.

“I’m fine, really. I promise,” Jane said shakily.

“Are you though? It’s a bit obvious you’ve been crying.”

“Oh,” the third queen whispered. “Does anyone else know?” She asked, panic evident in her eyes. How she hated to let everyone in the house know she was upset. And when they found out why she was upset, she’d never hear the end of it.

“No. Everyone else is asleep.”

“Even-?”

“Even Cathy is asleep.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for keeping you awake. I’ll uh, I’ll be fine. You can go to bed if you’d like,” the blonde offered, not wanting her co-star to put herself out for her.

“I was already awake, Jane,” Aragon said in a reassuring tone. “I was actually on my way to make a cup of tea if you’d like to join.” Jane offered a small nod in return. It was only then that Catherine got a good look at the woman in front of her. Jane Seymour, the woman who was always so put together and strong now stood in front of her looking as if someone had kicked her puppy. The face that always had a bright smile on it was now stained with tears, a small frown displayed on her face. The hair that was always so neatly pinned back or pulled up, never a hair out of place- even when she first woke up- was now disheveled. The woman who normally stood so firmly while maintaining the aura that she was kind and warm now stood in a way where she looked smaller than she already was, arms wrapped around herself- almost as if she was trying to grasp for the reality that she was really there. The woman who was- for lack of a better word- unbreakable looked so broken. 

“Come on love. I was thinking of some of that pomegranate tea you love so much tonight. Does that sound like a plan to you?” The first queen held out a hand for the third to take. The blonde nodded, taking the hand hesitantly and allowed herself to be led down to the kitchen.

Catherine led the silver queen to the table and guided her into her seat before dancing around the kitchen to make the tea. It was quite odd in reality- Jane was always the one running the show in the kitchen, yet here she was allowing her best friend to do it for her. Not much later, Catalina had set a mug of tea in front of Jane who instinctively wrapped her hands around the mug, desperately praying the warmth being emitted from the cup would transfer to her soul.

“Now mija, what’s got you down?”

“I-” Jane bit the side of her lip. “I had a nightmare.” Catherine kept quiet. The blonde would continue talking eventually. “About Anne’s beheading.”

“Oh,” Catherine muttered. The two had sat many a night talking about this.

“I know that we’ve come to an agreement that it wasn’t my fault, and I wish I could say I whole-heartedly believe it, but I just can’t.” A stray tear fell, softly landing in her tea. “I was the reason she got beheaded. I could’ve stopped it. I didn’t even try. And because of me, she got beheaded. I died. Anna got divorced. Kat got beheaded. And Cathy was threatened with being beheaded.”

Were you-”

“I wasn’t looking for him,” Jane’s voice began to shake. “Father- he- Father told me if I didn’t move our family up in class, I was a failure. My brothers too. I- I wasn’t looking for him.”

“I know.”

“But it happened to be that he fancied me. Who was I to stop that? He was the king after all. But, if I knew what would’ve happened to Anne, I never would’ve done that. You know that, right?” Jane lifted her eyes from where they had been so focused on the mug in front of her to look at Catherine. There they were again, the broken eyes.

“I-”

“Catherine, please tell me you know that I never would’ve gone through with it if I had known she would be beheaded,” Jane pleaded, the tears falling like a river. They wouldn’t dry anytime soon. Her sobs wracked through her like an earthquake, her entire body trembling slightly at first, only to become more violent as she continued to silently. The silent storm- the most deadly. No one knew that it was happening- no one but the first and third queens.

After most of the tears subsided, tea long forgotten, the kind queen spoke quietly.

“You weren’t really coming down to get tea, were you?”

“No querida, I wasn’t. But I know that when Kat is having a hard time, you do the same thing for her. Why would I let you cry alone?”

“I- Thank you.”

II.

Instagrammer1549: Can we just talk about how all the other queens are serving looks, and then there’s Jane who looks like a mum?

Sixqueenswalkintoabar: She does look like a mum, but she pulls it off well, so who cares @Instagrammer1549

Roseamongstthethorns: jane you look just fine. You work mum jeans better than i ever could.

While what Roseamongstthethorns and Sixqueenswalkintoabar said was kind, all that Jane could see was Instagrammer1549 had commented on her post. And that led her to Anne’s room.

“Hey Annie? Are you in there?” Jane knocked on the door gently. 

“Give me a second!” The third queen laughed as she heard a crash before the door opened, revealing none other than Anne Boleyn herself.

“What’s up Janey?” The green queen leaned up against her door frame.

“So, I was on the instagram, and uh, here.” The third queen handed over her phone. The second queen looked over it for a second before a small frown drew itself on her face.

“So, they’re making fun of your outfit?” Jane nodded. “I don’t know why. I think the mum look suits you quite well actually.”

“Maybe I just need to get out of my comfort zone? I mean, I don’t know. You guys all look like... that. And there I am with a turtleneck and a cardigan. What if I gave it a try?”

“Well, I’ll help you if that’s what you want. But for what it’s worth, I think you make mum look good.”

So, a few hours later, the third queen and her predecessor were at the shops. 

“Try this on?” Anne held up a simple v-neck shirt.

“Isn’t that a little flashy?”

“Janey, it’s a simple v-neck. Your costume is much more revealing than this.” The blonde tried it on. She didn’t hate it.

“I suppose I could get on board with this. I’ll just make sure there isn’t too much cleavage.”

“And then, we pair it with a cute jean jacket- you can borrow one of mine- and some leggings. Simple enough, but stylish?”

“Okay, what about this?” Anne held up a sleeveless, black v-neck jumpsuit with sparkles along the waist.

“That’s... pretty.”

“Try it on?”

“What on Earth would I wear that for?”

“Jane, you realize we’re always doing some sort of interview or press junket, right? Pull this baby out, and-”

“Okay, okay. I’ll try it on.” The third queen vanished into the dressing room before appearing again.

“I really like this one,” Jane admitted with a sheepish smile.

“Well? Do a little twirl! Come on Janey!” The blonde did a turn, and Anne cheered. “Okay Mum!”

“Should I get it?” Jane looked at the price tag. “Oh gosh. That’s quite expensive for my taste. You know I prefer to just shop at-”

“Jane! Come on! You never splurge on something for yourself! You deserve to- just this once! It looks great, you said so yourself!”

“Well, I suppose so.”

“Great! Now let’s look for some more casual stuff. Things that you can mix and match with some of your other clothing too!”

The two left the shops with various items of clothing- some fancy, some casual. The green queen stayed true to Jane’s fashion. Even the most revealing shirt that Jane had purchased had the essence that it was “mum”. 

Jane debuted one of her new looks the next day, much to the surprise of the second queen. She had the simple v-neck they had bought along with a jean jacket the woman with space buns let her borrow as well as grey leggings. She didn’t look half bad.

“Wow Janey! You look great!” Anne smiled as she stole a pancake from the plate.

“Annie!” the blonde scolded her lightly. “But, you really think so?” The third queen blushed and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah! You look so good! The messy bun? Never seen it done by you before, and you’re killing it! You look so good!”

Not long after, the other queens came down, all complimenting Jane.

“Wow. You look really nice Jane! Definitely different, but you still look like you! I love it!”

“We should all get dressed up and take cute pics today!” Kat smiled from her place at the table. “Would you wanna?”

“I think that’d be fun,” Jane, not normally one to opt to be in the photos, agreed.

A few weeks later, a situation where the queens had to dress up presented itself.

“Come on Janey! When we bought it, you loved it!”

“I know. It’s just... is it too revealing? We do have a younger audience. I don’t want to corrupt them.”

“Oh Mum,” Anne joked. “You saw what I’m wearing. The only two who dress moderately conservative are you and Aragon. Besides, I think the other queens will like what you have!”

Jane walked downstairs much later than the rest of the queens, having spent far too long looking at herself in the mirror and doubting the way she looked. Grabbing a cardigan (“It might be cold!” she would always insist, even on the warmest of nights), she made her way down the stairs.

“Hot damn Seymour!” Anna remarked when she saw the woman in black. 

“Do I look okay?” the blonde played with one of her loose curls.

“Mum! You look great!” the pink haired queen smiled.

When the queens posted about it the next day, no comments were made about Jane’s “mum look”, even though she had her cardigan on.

A few days later, Anne found a new set of wheels for her shoes with a simply note-

Thank you. -Janey

III.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. We can run it again, or we don’t have to. I’m so sorry,” Jane apologized profusely. 

“We can just call it a day, what do you guys think?” Cleves suggested, seeing the clear distress that the silver queen was going through trying to learn the choreography. 

“But J-”

“I said I think we can call it a day,” Cleves stated with finality. She didn’t miss the look of gratefulness that the third queen shot her. 

“Alright girls. Home for dinner?” The silver queen had already gathered her things and was ready to leave.

“Seymour?” The woman who was always in red could hear the blonde clearly running through the routines in her room.

“Oh dammit,” the silver queen cursed quietly. “Give me a second!” The third queen could be heard making her way to her bed before allowing Cleves to come in.

“Hey Seymour.”

“Hi Anna!” Jane, now on her bed with a book open in her lap, looked up.

“I know you weren’t reading a second ago.”

“Ah, you caught me. How’d you know?”

“I could hear you tripping over your own feet and quiet curses. I figured I might be able to help you? With the choreography?”

“You know what? I would really appreciate that.” Jane set her book and glasses aside before standing back up. “I’m having a bit of trouble learning the choreography, but I don’t want to hold everyone up at rehearsal. I just come home and practice when I can. I guess I wasn’t that sneaky, was I?”

“As far as I know, I’m the only one who knows. I’ve heard you for a couple days now. So what parts are you having trouble with Seymour?”

“Would you laugh if I said all of it?”

The two were making their way through “Ex-Wives”. 

“I just don’t have the hips!” Jane laughed.

“You do have hips!”

“Well, I do have them!” the blonde couldn’t help but laugh. “I just don’t quite know how to use them!”

“And that’s why I’m here. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be the queen of twerking if I can help it!

“Absolutely not! I’m more than happy to leave that title to you!”

“So, the dance break in No Way?”

“Well, the first part is mostly just poses. You have your poses, right?”

“I’m bad at dancing Anna, not posing. Although, I do have to admit, I practice them in the mirror quite often.”

“Oh my god, Seymour. Well, for what it’s worth, they look pretty good.”

“Okay, so the dance break is where I get really confused.”

The two queens worked hard into the night. Promising to go through the other songs the next day, the two went to bed.

“You ready for Boleyn’s song?”

“I actually have this one down I think. I practiced the little dance thing in the mirror a lot this morning. That was the only thing that was really tripping me up.”

“Nice! And my song?”

“Oh, that’s another story,” Jane let out a full belly laugh.

“Okay, let’s get started.”

The two made their way through Get Down and Haus of Holbein before calling it a night, the blonde quite sore from doing all the squats.

“You know, maybe next time you offer, I’ll actually come to the gym with you.”

And so, once the two finished their choreography practice, they found themselves at the gym.

“Wow! Janey, when did you figure all of this out?” Anne was shocked that Jane wasn’t tripping over feet anymore.

“I uh,”

“Guess it just clicked. Right Seymour?” The fourth queen shot her a look, knowing the blonde sometimes had a hard time admitting she needed to ask for help.

“I uh, actually no. Cleves found me practicing late one night, and I asked her to help me out. Thanks Anna.” The third queen’s smile shone brightly. 

“Oh, uh, no problem.”

“You know you didn’t have to tell them I helped you out, right?”

“I know. Thank you for helping me out again. And for letting me join you at the gym,” The silver queen, now donned in athletic wear, smiled as she wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead.

IV. 

“Hey Mum,” Katherine curled into her mother figure on the couch.

“Hi love,” Jane adjusted the way she was sitting so it was a bit easier on her body, groaning slightly.

“Are you okay?” Kat caught on to the way the older woman moved.

“I’m just fine dear. Just a bit tired from working out with Cleves last night. I think I might have pulled a muscle in my back too. And, to top it all off, I think my period is coming.”

“Oh. Uh, is there anything I can do to help you out?”

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to make a cup of tea. Unfortunately, I really did myself in with this back of mine.”

“I’ll make it for you! The pomegranate tea?” Jane gave her a thumbs up.

A few minutes later, the fifth queen returned, two mugs in hand. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I made myself some too. I thought it might be nice to try the tea you love?”

“Not a problem dear. You know what’s mine is yours.” The pink haired woman nodded as she placed the mugs down, twirling around to go back into the kitchen.

“I just have to grab a few more things.” Katherine came back into the living room juggling a heating pad, some pain relievers, and a few snacks she knew her mother figure enjoyed- dark chocolate, some pickles, an apple... a strange combination, but the blonde appreciated it nonetheless.

“Thank you honey. I really appreciate it.” The older woman popped the pills into her mouth and took a swig of her tea.

“It’s not a problem! Just want to make sure that you’re comfortable like you do for us when we’re a bit sore. I’ll be on my way now I suppose. Have a nice relaxing day!” Kat moved the television remote closer to Jane and began to make her way up the steps with her cup of tea when she heard a small plea.

“It’d be nice if you stayed?” Jane offered. “It can be kind of boring when no one else is around.

“If you really want me to stay, I will.” The queen clad in pink made her way over to the couch, sitting a bit further away from the woman in white than she usually would.

“Come here love,” Jane sighed, opening her arms for her daughter to curl into.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you or put a strain on your back or anything.”

“I’m positive. If it becomes uncomfortable, I’ll let you know. I’m just a bit sore love, not broken or anything.” And so, the two settled in on the couch together. “Anything you want to watch dear?”

“Oh uh, whatever is fine. I don’t really mind.”

“How does some reality television sound?” Truth be told, Jane didn’t fancy the reality television shows that the youngest queen loved so much. She had the entire house fooled- if it meant Katherine would sit with her and spend time with her though, it was worth listening to clearly staged fights and watching the ridiculously sappy moments of romance on screen. Kat nodded, finding the latest episode (because of course the duo was up to date with each and every show the younger woman loved).

Not long after the silver queen had finished a few bites of chocolate, the heating pad, along with the heat radiating from the woman curled into her side, had lulled her to sleep. The women in the house knew that if the third queen was sleeping, she needed it, and under no circumstances were they to wake her. This wasn’t exactly Jane’s rule, but the other queens deemed it a necessary rule without the blonde knowing it. 

“Janey fell asleep?” Anne wandered into the living room.

“Yeah, probably like 20 minutes ago?”

“Oh shit. So, we have to wait for dinner?”

“We’ll see how long she’s out for this time. If she’s out by the time we need to start dinner, I’ll just make it.”

“Okay. I’m off to go do big bitch energy things. Text me when it’s safe for me to come back into the house.”

“Oh, actually, could you grab my phone for me? It’s in my room.”

“Yeah dude. And then, I really am off to go to big bitch energy things. Lord knows I don’t need to wake Janey up again by accident. I still can’t believe how much Lina went off on me for that.”

“You know she’s just protective over Mum sometimes.”

“I know, but Jane wasn’t even pissed with me. It was all Aragon. Anyway, let me go grab your phone.” Anne returned a few moments later and began to throw the phone.

“Annie, don’t throw it!” Katherine called a moment too late. The phone landed in the blonde’s lap with a thud. 

“Shit,” Anne whispered. The two cousins held their breath, silently praying the third queen wouldn't wake up. After a few seconds, it became clear that she wouldn’t wake, and the two let go of the breath they were holding. “Well, on that note! I’m leaving!”

[the queens] Kat: mum’s asleep. no one comes back to the house and wakes her.

        Anne: @lina before u say anythin... im already outta the house n doing big bich energy things

        Anna: y was i not invited

        Anne: if u wanna come i didn leave yet. i can wait

        Anna: b out in a sec

        Catherine: Good riddance. Don't call if you get arrested. Cath and I are probably going to stay at the coffee shop and while longer then. Maybe get some shopping done so Jane doesn’t have to when she wakes up tonight  (because we all know she’ll be asleep for a long time)

        Cathy: Please call if you get arrested. @Lina, Jane wouldn’t be too happy if you left them.

        Kat: jus dnt call mum unless i txt shes awake first

Hours later, the woman who had been lulled to sleep was still dead to the world, leaving Katherine to try to figure out how to untangle herself from her mother’s arms to make dinner.

“What’s for dinner again?” the pink queen muttered to herself as she made her way to the kitchen, finally having succeeded in standing up without waking Jane. Glancing at the “weekly menu” the blonde made, she discovered that it was simply a pasta night.

“I can manage that,” the fifth queen chuckled with confidence.

And she did. Unbeknownst to the other queens, Katherine could cook. It turns out it pays off to watch the blonde flit around the kitchen and prepare meals, occasionally helping with small things like making sure that the pasta was stirred every so often and chopping up vegetables when needed. The fifth queen had succeeded in making copious amounts of pasta, heating the various sauces that the queens liked, along with cooking chicken, meatballs, and sausage for the queens to enjoy. She managed to chop up a selection of vegetables and lay them out on the table without cutting her fingers- a situation she often found herself in when helping her mother. As she was setting the table, the other four queens made their way into the house as quietly as they could, knowing Jane was asleep since Katherine hadn’t texted that she had woken up.

“Hey guys,” Katherine made her way into the living room from the kitchen. “Dinner’s almost ready and-”

“Holy shit that smells good,” Anna’s mouth began to water at the smell.

“Did you do this?” Aragon looked at the woman with the apron.

“I uh, yeah? I figured Mum needed sleep so I just took on cooking dinner for tonight?”

“And it’s not from a box?” Cathy laughed quietly.

“Believe it or not,” a raspy voice, the voice of a newly awake Jane Seymour, spoke up as she stood and stretched. “Kat can cook. She just chooses not to.”

“I-” The pink queen had been caught red-handed- literally. The woman had spilled a bit of the marina sauce on her hand and was about to clean it up when she heard the others arrive home. “Uh, dinner’s ready. I was just setting the table.”

Later that night, Katherine came knocking on Jane’s door.

“Come in!” The gentle voice called. When Kat opened the door, Jane smiled sleepily.

“I was just checking that you’re alright,” the fifth queen stuttered. “You know, with your back and all.”

“It’s not 100% yet, but that’s to be expected. I’m sure I wouldn’t be feeling as good as I do if you hadn’t stepped up and helped out your old mum. Thank you sweetheart.”

“I, uh, yeah.” Kat scratched the back of her head. “You’re welcome. I’m heading to bed now, so uh, goodnight?” She made her way over to the woman laying in her bed and kissed her cheek.

“You don’t want to hang out in here tonight?”

“I just didn’t want to bother you or your back,” Kat admitted.

“Nonsense. You know you’re never a bother. Go grab your things.”

A few moments later, the two were laying in bed together, happily watching a house hunting show in silence.

“Thank you for a wonderful day love.” Jane kissed the younger girl’s hairline and fell asleep.

She would wake up the next morning feeling much better.

V.

Jane Seymour had never been the most literate person. Hell, she had a hard time signing her name on various documents. Catherine Parr, one who people wouldn’t expect to be so observant because her head was always in her books, picked up on the way it would take the blonde several seconds to sign her name. Or how she would look slightly terrified when they were handed notes on their show. Or how she tended to listen to audiobooks as opposed to reading the book, like the rest of them would. Or how she really only knew how to write the letters in her name, and that was all the writer had ever seen her write. How she made voice memos of grocery lists instead of writing them in her notes like she or Catherine would.

“I’m going to the store. Would anyone like anything?” Jane called from the front room. A few voices responded with various groceries.

“Just send me a text please. I’ll pick them up.”

“Would you like me to go with you?” Cathy offered.

“If you’d like.”

“That’s fine. I think I need a moment or two away from my laptop anyway,” the writer shrugged. 

“Did, did you just get Cathy to take a break from work?” Aragon peered at the blonde from her place on the couch.

“Oh hush. You all act like I’m a work-a-holic.”

“That’s because you are. Now, get your coat on. Come on.” She turned to face the stairs before hollering, “If you need anything, text me!”

The two were at the grocery store when the sixth queen noticed something a bit strange. Her blonde co-star had popped an earbud in. Only then did she realize that the third queen was clicking on what the others had texted and was listening to the words they had typed. Deciding to brush it off, she allowed the blonde to go about this strange habit she had.

The third queen thought she was home alone. It really was quite easy to forget that Cathy was home sometimes, locked away in her bedroom working on her writing. Jane was curled up on the couch, the warmth of the fire reflecting off of her face as she struggled to read a simple book she had bought recently. Little did she know, the writer was watching her diligently.

“Shit,” Jane sighed. She pulled out her phone and typed the word into google before playing the word quietly and repeating it a few times. “What the hell does that mean?” She highlighted the definition before having her phone read it out loud to her.

“Hey Jane!” Cathy made her presence known. “What are you reading?” She sat down next to the blonde.

“I uh, it’s this book about uh-” Jane took a deep breath before continuing. “-I don’t really know if I’m being honest. I’ve been trying to get better at reading, but it’s kind of confusing.”

“What’s confusing about it?” The writer asked in a genuine tone, not mocking or belittling.

“I uh, I don’t really know. I’ve just never been the best reader or writer. Sorry. This must seem so stupid to you, you know, being a writer and all. I guess I’ll just stick to my audio books and things like that.”

“I don't think it’s stupid. I think it’s very admirable that you’re trying to get better. It can be really tough at first. Would you like some help? With reading and writing?”

“I- I think I’d like that.”

The two bought various books, and after a few weeks, Jane was reading better. Not quite to the standard that she had hoped, but the sixth queen assured her it was a process and to be proud of the advances she had made in such a short time.

“What problems do you have with writing?”

“I never really learned penmanship, as you could probably tell from my signature in our old lives. I picked up on my signature and simple phrases like ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ for you girls. Other than that, I don’t even really know how to write most of the letters in the alphabet properly,” the third queen confessed, a shade of crimson becoming apparent on her face.

“That’s alright. Penmanship can be quite hard. But, if you already have small phrases known, you know a good amount of letters already. And, you seem to have practiced your signature quite a bit. It looks wonderful,” the blue queen encouraged.

“Thank you. I’ve practiced... a lot.”

“Well, it’s paid off. Maybe we could go to the bookstore and find a book to help?”

“I think that’d be nice.”

The least literate queen quickly became an avid reader and her penmanship became much better thanks to the first woman in England to publish a book. As her penmanship got better and she became more confident with her skills, the sixth queen noticed that Jane’s handwriting was appearing more and more often. Whether it be grocery lists or simple notes to her fellow queens letting them know she was going out and not to worry about her, she always seemed to be practicing. The times of the blonde popping in an earbud to listen to the grocery requests became less frequent, and she wasn't afraid to ask the blue queen for help if she didn’t quite understand a word.

A few months into Jane Seymour’s literary adventures, a note was slipped under Cathy’s bedroom door late one night while she was working. She recognized the, what was once sloppy and hard to read but now clean and neat, handwriting immediately- a sense of joy overwhelming her.

Cathy,

I know I’ve said time and time again how thankful I am that you’ve been able to help me with my reading and writing skills. I figured this would be as good a time as any to show you my skills. So, this note was written without any help from a dictionary or a phone to help me figure out how to spell something. Thank you for having faith in me and not giving up on me- even when I wanted to give up on myself. Thank you for not looking down on me for not having these skills before. I know it might’ve been easy to brush me off seeing that you’re the first woman in England to publish work. But you didn’t. I am so thankful that you decided to help me. You are truly a kind and wonderful woman. Gold star for you Cathy Parr. Thank you. I love you.

-Janey

Catherine Parr considered this her most prized possession, setting it on her desk for her to see every time she sat at her desk- which was quite frequently.

VI.

The queens had sat down for an interview, and the interviewer was quite rude to the third queen to say the least. He wasn’t necessarily kind to the other women, but he was certainly the worst when it came to Jane Seymour.

“Now, I do have a question for all of you- besides Miss Seymour.”

“Of course,” Jane muttered under her breath. She was truly getting sick of taking the brunt of this man’s hatred.

“How can you stand living with this boring and bland woman who claims she’s the only one Henry truly loved? Don’t you think she is the least deserving to be in this show of yours?” the interviewer asked with a devious smirk on his face.

“Who the hell approved that question?” Cleves was quick to speak.

“Ladies, I assure you no one approved that question,” the woman behind the camera spoke. “I’m so sorry. This interview is over, and you are fired, effective immediately. Leave.” The woman directed the last part at the interviewer.

“What? I just asked a question.”

“An incredibly rude question. I advise you to get out now, because this is my property, and because you are no longer an employee here, I do believe you’re trespassing without my permission.”

“No,” Catherine of Aragon stated, putting a hand up. “He asked a question. Why don’t we answer it queens?”

“Ladies, you don’t have to. His behavior was abhorrent. I assure you, none of this will air, and you will still be compensated for your efforts.”

“I think we should answer it,” Cathy agreed. 

“Keep the cameras rolling. You’re gonna want a video of this,” Anne grinned, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“Queens, please don’t,” Jane practically squeaked, tears evident in her eyes.

“Why not Mum?”

“Because what he said was right,” Jane breathed out.

“No. Absolutely not,” Katherine shook her head, disgusted that this man who meant nothing to them could manipulate her mother into believing she was bland and boring.

“I advise you to listen closely- because I’m only going to say this once,” Katherine stared down this man, this being the first time she had ever stood up to a man without fear. “My mum is absolutely the least boring person on the earth, and you have no right to say anything about her. She is the most kind and caring person that I’ve ever met. She is insanely talented, she has a heart of gold, and she has more class in her pinky than you do in your entire body. She only says she’s the only one he truly loved because that’s how she went down in history.”

“Believe it or not, she tried to get us to take that part out because she didn’t want to offend the rest of us,” Cathy interjected.

“Jane is the least boring person I know. She might have this whole mum thing going for her, which we all know the queendom loves, and we wouldn’t trade her for the world. She keeps us- us being Anna, Kat, and me- in order. She’s a hell of a cook and a baker. She can be the silliest person when she wants to be. She is not boring or bland, and it is ridiculous to think that people think of her like that.” Anne crossed her arms, glaring at the man.

“What Seymour chooses to publish on social media is definitely not as risque as the rest of us. She chose that. What you guys don’t see is all of the things she doesn’t post. There are so many pictures of her being silly and making faces. She’s tried heelying with Bo. She’s been the mastermind between many pranks that go on in the house. She’s not afraid to get down and work out with me. She likes to keep it a bit more PG than most of us because she’s so very aware that we tend to have a younger fanbase, even with our show being a bit sexual at times. Seymour is the least boring person we know. She may not post all of the silly hijinks that happen,- and we don’t either because we don’t want to invade her privacy like that- but she is absolutely deserving of being a part of this family as any of us are. You know, the entire point of our show is to show how far we’ve come since we’ve been reincarnated. To show that we shouldn’t be compared. We are all here, and we are a family. We don’t need absolute morons with a single brain cell like you trying to tear down the family we’ve created. Suck on that, you buffoon,” Cleves practically yelled at the man.

“We were all the wives of the same man. Just because she may have gone down in history as ‘the only one he truly loved’ doesn’t mean she’s any less deserving of being in the show than the rest of us. And she is a wonderful person to live with. She makes sure we’re all okay when we’re sick or are having a rough day. She’s the first one to make a silly face and ‘ruin’ a picture. If you can believe it, it’s not Bo. She’s always surprising us with new things everyday- like when she beat Anna in an arm wrestling competition. She’s always striving to become a better person and show the world all the kindness and love that she has in her heart. She is far from bland and boring, and she is an absolute pleasure to work with and live with. She keeps our family together,” Aragon spoke a bit more level-headed than the rest of them, but her tone and glare towards the interviewer showed that she meant every word she had said.

“And with that, I think this interview is over,” Katherine stated with finality.

“Piss off. She’s still the bland wife,” the interviewer muttered.

“I’m so sorry, what was that?” Cleves stood from her chair.

“You clearly heard me,” the man also stood, trying to make an advance towards the red queen.

“Security, I think it’s about time you take this disgusting ex-employee out of here,” the woman behind the camera snarled to the men who had been behind her from the beginning. The man was escorted out quickly.

“I’m so sorry for the behavior that my ex-employee exhibited,” the woman sighed. “I do hope you know that none of that was planned, and he will not be getting his job back.”

“That was pretty clear,” Anne laughed.

“Miss Seymour, I’m so sorry for the-”

��It’s quite alright. It’s very clear not everyone here thought that way, and I’m sorry for the trouble we caused.”

“You six have nothing to apologize for. I do hope that we can try to reschedule another interviewer, perhaps with myself, if you’re still interested. Although, I do have to say I would completely understand if you decide to pull out of this interview after that experience.”

“I think that we could arrange something,” Jane smiled a bit for the first time since entering the building.

Later that night, Jane was in her room when she heard a light knock at the door. 

“Come in?” She called. When the door opened, she was met with the five other queens. “Hey girls.”

“I hope you know that we meant every word we said at that interview,” Catalina offered as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“We really did. That idiot-”

“I believe the word you chose was ‘buffoon’,” Anne laughed.

“That buffoon,” Anna continued. “was an absolute fool to think he could go after you like that and expect us to not defend you. Absolutely moronic.”

“Thank you girls. I really appreciate your efforts.”

“Please tell us you know that you aren’t bland and boring mum. Please,” Kat pleaded.

“As much as I wish I could, I still have those thoughts about myself sometimes,” the blonde admitted bashfully.

“Well, we’ll just keep reminding you that you’re amazing, and we love you just the way you are,” Cathy assured the silver queen.

“Thank you loves.”

So, maybe Jane Seymour wasn’t unbreakable. But in reality, her family was always right there to pick up her broken pieces and put her back together. Her family.

[prose-for-hire]

I know what you did last Halloween...

Part Two // Part Three // Part Four

Pairing: Scooby gang x reader (platonic)

This is a platonic story with the reader as part of the Scooby gang. Set season 3. It’s going to be a small multi-parted serial killer/slasher fic for Halloween. Reader lives with Giles, but is not related. The deaths in this part are not described in much detail. 

Not sure how popular it’ll be with you guys, but I’ve enjoyed writing it so far !! 🖤🦇

Warning: It is a serial killer fic, main characters are going to die (I’m sorry, it’s Halloween). Violence. Blood mention. Threat.

Sunnydale Scare? Scythe-wielding killer strikes again

Sunnydale Express, October 1999.

Sunnydale High school, not used to such horror inflicted on their student body since Principal Flutie’s unfortunate death in office [His memorial will be on the 31st as his family reveal it was his favorite time of year].

The scythe-wielding killer, who was seen wearing all-black with a festive mask, has claimed his most recent victims. Two members of the swim team found themselves in hot water after they were found with brutal and fatal injuries. The wounds matched the scythe that is commonly associated with the widely termed ‘Sunnydale slasher’.

It makes us wonder at the Sunnydale Express, why and how this idyllic town has managed to create such a monster?

You and the Scoobies were good friends. You helped save the world more than once whilst fighting algebra homework and Principal Snyder. You had moved from your hometown to Sunnydale at the same time as Buffy, meeting her on your first day and becoming best friends since that day. You had moved into Giles’ spare room after your parents had wanted to move on again. You had been sucked into the slaying and you couldn’t leave the others. Giles had been very accommodating and very much like a parental figure. Things had been going well, you were close to graduating and finally getting the hell out of there until one life-changing event that would forever be ingrained in your minds.

You and your friends were sat around the school canteen. The mood was pretty low and you were collectively checking over your shoulders every so often. You had been discussing the latest spate of murders. Surprisingly, it was widely covered by various news outlets and hadn’t been brushed under the rug as the usual demon relating killings were.

Buffy and Faith had been doing double patrolling, making sure there was always someone out after dark. Giles had been pleased but he wasn’t aware of the real reason. Although he had noted a difference in your mood in the past year. Despite the extra patrolling, no matter how many demon-snitches they beat up and threatened, there was no changing the answer they didn’t want to hear.

“So this… slasher? He’s-it’s-she’s-?” Xander spluttered through the pronouns in his disbelief.

“Yep. Human” Buffy shrugged, sighing and staring down at her food. Nobody had eaten anything. The lunch you all had set out in front of you was just for show. None of you could stomach much at the moment.

“Shouldn’t we have found them by now?” Willow wondered, her brow furrowing in frustration.

“It could be anyone. And I’m guessing they’re not exactly wearing their ‘I’m a killer come catch me’ sweater”

“Yeah, Giles says he’s gonna look into it, but unless it says ‘Scythe killer was here’ in one of those big old books…” You tail off as Buffy picks up your sentence.

“We’ve got zip. Nothing” Buffy nodded again. Conversation then turned. You had been in a deep discussion of something in low murmurs, that was until your best friends boyfriend walked in. A dead silence blanketed your table.

“The blank stares and silence make me feel at home” oz deadpanned and you all laughed slightly too loud at this. He squinted around the room, shrugged and then kissed Willow’s forehead before staring around at the odd vibe. He had noticed that none of you had been the same for at least a year, but anytime he tried to talk to Willow about it she just shook her head vigorously and locked herself in a different room until he dropped it.

“Well, I have some place to be that’s else. Or about three tables that way” He gestured with his head to where one of his bandmates were sat. Willow assured him she would come over and sit with them in a minute. After you finished a very important conversation.

“I can’t do this anymore, lying to him hurts my heart” Willow said sadly, shifting uncomfortably as if her heart was physically aching her, “I have to tell him”

“And how’re you gonna do that exactly, Will? Oh, hey there Oz remember last Halloween, well we-” Xander cut in harshly, trying to make Will be realistic.

“Stop it! We can’t talk about this here. Anyone could overhear, they already suspect I’m a slayer” Buffy said firmly.

“We have big mouths, sorry” You shrug, smiling tightly.

“This isn’t funny!” She snapped, the events of last year had her wound even more tightly than usual. She had more responsibility than she could handle on her shoulders as it was, let alone this secret weighing down on her like a

“I’m not laughing, Buff… I’m sorry” You whisper. You did feel guilty. You felt horrible. Some nights you barely slept, and when you did you had these horrible nightmares.

Oh, right. That guy that you killed. Well, it was a total accident and you were all very sorry at the time. I mean, you still are. But, thing is, you just didn’t happen to tell anyone or alert the correct authorities. Must have slipped your mind.

Let me paint the picture in case you managed to forget…

Last Halloween, you and your friends had been attending a Halloween party. Your collective night off from saving the world. Oz, who didn’t appear to be wearing a costume, had explained it was a shindig and you had all enjoyed the live music and spooky theme. Even Buffy had managed to relax.

Buffy had chosen little red riding hood and Willow was dressed as a knight in historically accurate chainmail. Cordelia was a cat, it was the back-up she always had in case her first choice fell through. She had shrugged, at least she looked good in it. You had decided on a werewolf, after apologising profusely to Oz who didn’t appear phased.

Xander was walking around in a karate outfit, something about being inspired by the copious violence he enjoyed on screen. Every so often he did a karate chop in mid-air and you and your friends would share a collective eye roll. Especially when he chopped some jock guy that he spent the rest of the evening hiding from. Whereas Faith was wearing as little as possible and appeared to be dressed as herself.

The band was playing decent music and the atmosphere was electric. You and Buffy had danced together while Willow and Xander laughed by the punch bowl. Out of nowhere, Faith joined the both of you and muscled you out of the way to dance with Buffy. You rolled your eyes, but knew better than to make a fuss so you went back to your other friends and joined them in conversation.

Buffy had borrowed her Mom’s car and had sneaked out while Joyce was sleeping. Joyce had been feeling a little under the weather and hadn’t noticed. When it was time to leave, she drove (badly) through the streets to drop everyone home. Oz was doing another set and would get a ride with the rest of his band.

You were squished in the back with Cordy, Xander and Willow. Faith had called shotgun. There were more people than there should be, with Cordy sitting precariously on Xander’s lap. It meant you and Willow were crushed together sharing an annoyed look as the pair continued to kiss.

Buffy looked out of the side window for a nicer view and managed to hit something in the road. You all screamed as she broke suddenly. You had hit something. Something big. You all got out to investigate and saw that it was a man. You went and shook his shoulder and he immediately sat up and grabbed at you. His grip tight and strong. You screamed as you looked at his face, there were fangs and his face looked bumpy. The others saw it too and Buffy pulled you away as Faith moved in and staked him.

The man struggled for a moment before going still. Blood had started to run from his heart and the stake that had been stabbed through it. You all just stared.

“W-why isn’t he going poof?” Willow whispered as you all just stared in horror. He had been human after all.

“It was a costume!” You shrieked in horror. Everyone’s blood turned cold. 

“We’ll have to bury him” Faith said quickly. Xander stayed silent, his eyes glazed in fear.

“We can’t!” Buffy said firmly.

“Look, it’s that or another stint in juvey and I’m not goin’ back there” Faith muttered and you all frowned, having not realised she had ever been.

“I think we should see if he has any ID, maybe we could-” You started, Willow nodding along.

“No, Faith’s right. We bury him” Xander said suddenly.

“Who made you decision-gal?” Buffy said, her usual fun language lost on the moment as she stared through Faith.

“I’m a slayer too, B. You’re not the boss” Faith tilted her head to the side and shrugged. You paused, thinking it over for a while.

“Buff, we can’t risk it. You and Faith are needed here – we can’t go to prison” You sigh, not sure if you fully believed what you were saying.

“Th-that’s actually true…” Willow said eventually, not looking anyone in the eye. It was hurting her conscience.

But that’s what you decided. For better or worse. You were all complicit now as you put him in the trunk and buried him in the graveyard in the early hours of the morning.

Nobody spoke as the sun started to rise and the plot you had chosen was no longer vacant. It had been hard to come to terms with ever since.

Missing – have you seen this man?

Sunnydale Express, 1998. November 2nd.

Mr Bates of Sunnydale California has been missing since Halloween night. Last seen leaving a party in the early hours. His wife and children are anticipating his return, although with the current rate of people vanishing often with no trace the Express, with their condolences, fears that Mr Bates may be one of a hundred Sunnydale citizens on Halloween night that will never return to their families.

This begs the question, where are all the missing going? Sunnydale has one of the largest cases of missing persons never being found in the state of California and statistics suggest it has the highest number compared to towns in neighboring states.

It had been a few days and something had shifted. Your friend’s mood was lower than ever and you were really worried about her. The guilt was eating away at her. It was so bad she finally had to talk to someone about it. Buffy was the most outwardly guilty one of you all. Covering for this went against everything she believed in. Fought for. Which is why she was probably being targeted the most.

You closed your locker and jumped, she had been standing behind it, waiting for you to notice her. She gave you an apologetic glance but still asked, “Hey, y/n, can we talk?”

“Sure, I didn’t wanna go to English anyway” You smile at her as you walk to the usual place under the stairwell you would hide when you needed to talk. She pressed a note into your hand which you unfolded and read:

‘I know what you did last Halloween…’

You gasped, looking around before looking back at her for some kind of explanation, “It was in my history textbook, so, it might have been there for at least a month” Buffy said “Did you get one?” she whispered. You shook your head, nobody had left anything for you. You would remember. Buffy’s note struck a sense of fear you hadn’t felt since that night. A bubbling guilt that was squeezing your insides and threatening to spill them out. You had felt numb since then, unable to cry or even think about the events.

“We need to tell someone. Maybe Giles? I can see how much this is killing you, Buff…”  You say, trying to comfort your friend the best way you knew how.

“I know, I try and I try but I can’t tell him. He’ll get all moral and Giles-y”

“Maybe we need that. What we did was stupid, but still an accident. I wish I had never agreed with Faith” You muttered as Buffy nodded along silently. She wished you hadn’t agreed with Faith too, you had been the type people came with for answers. Advice. So you agreeing with Faith was probably the deciding vote. She told you she would meet you later and appeared to be in deep thought as she walked away.

Willow and Cordy looked spooked, sitting down silently during the break between classes. Their notes had fallen out of their lockers and they were afraid they had been seen picking them up. Buffy revealed to the others hers had said the same thing just as Xander ran in, very visibly panicking and checking behind him with every step he took.

He just slammed the note in the middle of the table without comment. He had nothing he could say. No jokes could mask the horror that came with

“That settles it. We go to Giles” Buffy said firmly. 

“No-” Xander tried to assert, but he was outvoted this time.

“We have to. He’ll help us, I know he will” You confirmed, “Walk home with me tonight, we’ll tell him then” This was to give you some time. None of you could face going to the library for the rest of the day.

The bell rang and it felt as if it were tolling for a funeral march. The walk to Giles’ house was slow. You had swung by Faith’s motel on your way, taking a detour as you explained you would have to tell him. She surprisingly didn’t put much of an argument against.

The door creaked open and you shouted to announce your presence. But when you get there, you felt it instantly. You dropped your bags and walked into the living room. Every step felt heavy and echoed around the room. 

There he was. On the floor. Surrounded in his own blood.

Your knees buckled and you had to steady yourself against the sofa. The blood-stained sofa. Someone’s arms held you up. There were gasps and mutters but your ears were ringing, you felt very far away. He was cold, his body mutilated.

It took you longer than the others to see the new centrepiece of the room. 

‘I know what you did last Halloween’ was written in what could only have been Giles’ blood smeared across the wall of his living room. It was your warning. Your note.

A warning that turned your stomach. Knocked you all sick. He was one of you and he was gone. You tuned back into the conversation around you after having stared at the words. The words meant for you. Every time you blinked, those words were now stamped into your vision.

“It’s the same thing that was written on the notes”

“Oh, I got one of those but I threw it in the trash” Faith shrugged, but she wavered. This was hard to look at.

“We’ll have to clean it up” Xander said flatly. Gesturing at the writing.

“What?! We can’t-”

“Xander Harris, your brain is barely functional anyway - but this is totally the worst thing that’s come out of your mouth!” She shouted, her voice getting higher as she continued, “I am not cleaning the bloody writing off our dead librarians wall!” She warned. They had broken up since everything had happened. Everyone collectively winced as she said Giles was dead. It hurt. It sliced too close to the bone. At least when it had been a stranger, there was some degree of separation. But now it was even worse. 

“They’ll know or start to look into it - we gotta do it” 

You stayed silent this time, every time someone’s eyes looked at you you kept your expression blank. Until you were handed a cloth and some bleach and you grimaced but followed the others. Cordy joined you, nodding her understanding at your blank look. She took the cloth and the liquid from your shaking hands and started to help with the clean up.

Teen scream

Sunnydale Express, October 1999.

Reports of a large number of young people are now rejecting the upcoming holiday in an attempt to preserve their lives. Many say that this is a kneejerk reaction and that many will lose out of the best years of their lives to fear – which is what the killer will want.

Despite this, there has been a curfew agreed amongst the young people of the town and the Mayor’s office, reports suggest. Time will tell if this will be kept or if it another attempt by those cautious to get a re-election rather than improving the spate of missing persons that has only doubled since the year previous.

You were all waking in a group. You couldn’t face staying at Giles’ place so you were going to stay over at Buffy’s for the night. There was still an argument going on around you that you weren’t listening to. Faith had lit up a cigarette and kept telling everyone to calm down. That nobody could know or people would be hauling you all off to jail. That you had chosen the right thing.

“I’m sick of you all, I’m going out. There’s a party down the block. Anyone coming?” She looks around. This, you had heard. You shrug, resigning yourself to it. You made plans based on alibis now. With this cynical thought, you manage to convince everyone else to come too. You never know, it might relax them.

...Or not. 

You and the others all sat around in silence as the bass, and Faith, jumped around you. You barely spoke, you just stared into your cups. There had been some hugging when you first left the house but since then you all felt so alone. So disconnected despite being in this together. What you had chosen to do didn’t feel right and without your constant, your compass that had been Giles you didn’t know what to do.

 “Hey, man, it’s not Halloween yet!” Someone shouted. It caught all of your attention. A collective feeling of dread. That had been before all of the screaming had started.

The figure loomed over you. Everything about him screamed menacing. He frightened you more than any demon. He was stood in a Grim reaper costume, complete with blood stained scythe. He turned, spotting you finally. He had been slicing kids down as he walked. He wasn’t aiming, just wildly enjoying the chaos he caused.

He stopped in the centre of the room, facing the group of you that had just risen to your feet. He pointed. He stood still and pointed at you all. The Scooby gang.

In that moment, you knew. You knew he was the one that was taunting you. And so did every one else.

“Well, one of us has a brief scythe of life” Buffy stated, “…and it isn’t me” She ran at him, her fists raised as Faith came up behind her. In the chaos it was hard to see what was happening, all you could feel was this descending feeling of foreboding. You knew it had happened before you saw it.

To be continued…

[lizacstuff]

SCK/EDSER asks

My inbox was full again, so questions under the cut. Some of these are from today and some are from earlier. 

(asks under the read more)

Anonymous said: Random things that amuse me: 1. When they met, Serkan didn’t seem all that mad that Eda keyed his car but was way more angered by her disdain for him. 2. I always forget about Eda’s ex because I think Eda forgot about him too. Cenk cheated on her and brought his new gf to break up with her, and Eda was more peeved that he implied Serkan was out of her league. (1/2)

The only time he’s brought up again is when Eda pretends to be texting him instead of Serkan (because Ayfer would be madder at her talking to Serkan lol). 3. Whenever Melo is supposed to be mad at Serkan in solidarity with Eda, she just cannot bring herself to dislike him. (2/2)

I LOVE THIS ASK! 

1. I have always wondered about that. Even current, softer Serkan would get PISSED at someone keying his car. He keeps all of his things pristine. You know under normal circumstances he would be infuriated by that and not let it go. The car would have had to go to the body shop and everything.  I think the fact that he didn’t seem all that bothered, other than threatening to call the police of course, is that he was just so gobsmacked by this insanely beautiful, but also beautifully insane, lady yelling at him and handcuffing him that he couldn’t think straight. The fact that she had seriously vandalized his car became inconsequential. 

Additionally, I think when he found out ArtLife had cancelled her scholarship, he became embarrassed and didn’t want to make any more of an issue about it. 

2. I forget about him too. What a tool he was. It also seems a bit out of character for Eda now.  All of her friends and her aunt knew that he was ghosting her, and they made it clear they thought it by their reactions, but Eda didn’t get it? Eda was ready to marry a dude she hadn’t seen for a year? That does not sound like the Eda we know. Independent, fiery Eda? It’s true that she’s grown a lot, but that much? It seems like they designed that relationship to put Eda in the right frame of mind to kiss Serkan on the podium and then, thankfully, forgot about it. 

3. Yes, Melo is all of us. In the early episodes especially, Serkan could be a real jerk, but I know I never held it against him for long, just like Melo.  None of us can resist him, I’m sure we were all cheering her on when she was the one to give up Eda’s Saturday morning location.  And I love it when she calls him enişte. It’s also sweet that he’s fond of her as well. 

Anonymous said: What are your thoughts about Engin and Piril? Sometimes I think they are cute and sometime I just don't think they are meant for each other. I hope Piril's father brings a new story and dynamic that will help us see whether they work as a couple or not.

My thoughts are pretty much the same as yours. In the beginning I really thought they were pretty flat and wasn’t really rooting for them.  Partly because I loved Engin’s character and I was pretty “eh” on Piril. She was so laser focused on work that I didn’t like when she would try and guilt Serkan because he was spending time with Eda. I found that annoying and I thought Engin could have a more interesting relationship (like Melo!).

Alas, that wasn’t to be, however I surprised myself by actually cheering when he proposed, and I really liked their heart to heart talk in the NY episode. On the other hand I wasn’t really charmed by their disconnect when it came to entertaining people. They were SO FAR apart.  Piril was so uptight and Engin so lacksodasical, I think they’ll end up driving each other bonkers and it’s hard to see how that will work, and I’m not sure it’s something I want to watch all that much of. 

Same as you, I’m hope that Piril’s father turns out to be interesting. What’s going on there? Will we find out this episode?

Also, honestly, I’m still pressed they didn’t call Serkan to come to the wedding. (But I assume that had more to do with how quickly they shoot and needing to have scenes without Hande and Kerem in them. H/K were in tons of scenes that episode so it was probably tight with scheduling and they were doing A and B units etc.) 

Anonymous said:  Hi Liza, I hope you are well and you and your loved ones are staying safe. SCK really helped make 2020 better and I'm glad we have the show in 2021 too! Sometimes the letter count in these asks really get to me because I feel like I have so much more to say and ask but oh well. In this ask i just want to say I hope Seyfi and Melo both get their very own happily ever afters. They're my favs and totally deserve it. Leyla too! That actress is so pretty, I wish we got to see her dress up more!

Hello! I’m well, thank you for asking.  I’m not even joking when I saw that SCK was a highlight of 2020 for me. I’m so appreciative for the happy and joyous distraction it’s been over the last few months. 

I LOVE MELO AND SEYFI.  They are two of my favorite supporting characters, and two of the only ones that have stayed at the top since the beginning. Now Aydan is up there with them, but she wasn’t in the beginning, lol! 

Those two deserve all good things. Leyla is also a great character and I wonder what her feelings are towards Erdem. Does she really like him?  

Anyway, I’m not sure what they might be planning for any of them, but I can tell you I’m more interested in how they might end up, than I am with Ceren, Ferit, Fifi, or Piril.  

Anonymous said: This ask may not be worth answering but I've always wondered about Eda's family on her mom's side. I don't think they've ever mentioned it on the show and if they have I may have missed it but it's interesting. It's most likely that her grandparents died and her mom didn't have any siblings but it would be really cool if she did have a family member who understood her and supported her and Serkan unlike Ayfer.

It would be interesting to know, you’d think she would have some relatives on her mom’s side.  We’ll have to see if the show ever mentions it.

Anonymous said: Ok it may be the overthinker in me but unlike everyone else I'm actually worried seeing Serkan wear his engagement ring. If he and Eda reconciled and he knows the truth about her grandma threatening her, wouldn't their game plan be keeping their relationship a secret and not flaunting his ring. But then that's what the fans want, and maybe the writers have a different idea. I'm freaking out with worry that maybe Serkan and Bulca got engaged! But then it looks like his original ring! let's see!

Anonymous said: I'm the one who feared the engagement ring in a previous ask. Well today's pics/videos that show Serkan, Aydan and Seyfi at Eda's home with flowers seem like they are asking for her hand in marriage. It's an assumption but I feel much better. Lol!

See, this is why I always say not to borrow trouble by worrying about the disaster scenario.  Why would he ask Balca to marry him the day after he sexed up Eda? Even if they were hiding it and using Balca for subterfuge, why would they need to go all the way to engaged to do that? 

I’m glad you’re feeling better. I agree that the video posted today with them all at Eda’s house with the flower and the chocolate looks very much like they’re doing the traditional asking for her hand for serious this time! 

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Can’t wait to see them with their rings back on, we’ve been waiting so long. 

Also, I have no idea why they are able to get away with this... maybe Eda found something while investigating that neutralized Babaanne?  At least for the moment? 

Anonymous said: Sometimes I hate being the audience, we know things that the characters don't and I want to yell at my tablet screen. I don't though because I don't want to confirm my parents thoughts that I am crazy, lol! Anyway I wanted to say that I appreciate you and the SCK community because none of my friends watch the show and I'm glad I have people to discuss this with, otherwise I'd actually go crazy. Edser & Hanker & the cast and crew make me happy! They're just amazing and I'm thankful for them!

Me too!  I appreciate the cast and crew AND I appreciate the fandom. There are some very lovely people here, and I’m thrilled that I have you all to discuss the show and ship with because none of my friends or family in real life watch either.  I’ve told many people about it, and sometimes I will drop words or phrases in Turkish that I’ve picked up watching and all they do is roll their eyes at me.  (I enjoy that) 

Also... talk back to that screen, I do. It’s fun. LOL. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the fan theory that Eda & Serkan are actually already working together to bring her grandma down? Not sure that I really saw any clues throughout the episode that a scene of the two of them talking together was cut out but guess we could always get flashbacks to show it. I think for me that might make a little sense because how does Serkan not suspect that Grandma flat out made Eda breakup with him? He knows she wants them kept apart, he got arrested and then magically released which coincided with Eda staying away from him, entry of a prince interested in Eda and Eda being chummy with her Grandma 🧐. Or maybe he does suspect all of that but finally understands the risk that she poses to all of them so he agreed to end things? Very interested to see how the show gets us from that heartbreaking breakup to Serkan & Eda being jealous at the restaurant.

My apologies, I know this ask was sent before some of the recent spoilers including the second promo with the... uh... explosion. (sex) So at this point I do not think they are working together, the break up appears to be real. So it will be interesting how the first 2 hours of this episode plays out. I assume the sex will be in the last 15 minutes. 

It looks like Serkan’s tact is to pretend he’s over her and moving on and let that drive her crazy. So I’d say that in order to do that, he has a pretty good idea why Eda broke up with him and knows it’s because of Babaanne and threats against him.

Anonymous said: Can I just say - I really dislike Ayfer. And I just realized that she has had like no growth at all in these 25 episodes. I guess she has an instagram business now? There is such a huge contrast between how they've developed her and Aydan, not only in how they view EdSer's relationship but on their own as well. Aydan is a new woman while Ayfer is still just a hater and a negative nancy about everything. You'd think they'd give her a better storyline with her mother in town but I don't see it

Since you sent this I’ve answered another ask about Ayfer here.  I very much agree with you.  She reacts negatively to everything, I’m not sure why the girls like to hang out with her so much, they have to hide everything and she is like a damp rag covering any bit of excitement. 

On rewatching some of the early episodes, I have noticed that she was negative  from the beginning.  She was even annoying in her first second on screen, when she was waking Eda up to go help with the soil delivery. I hate that shrill voice she uses to say Günaydın over and over again. 

You’re so right that she hasn’t had much if any growth.  Neither she nor Aydan were excited by the Eda/Serkan pairing from the beginning. Aydan was more vocal, but Ayfer was just as disapproving.  And frankly, even though between the two of them, Aydan might have seemed like the more formidable foe to the relationship, Ayfer actually always had more power.  Just because Serkan Bolat is going to do whatever he wants to do and he’s not going to be swayed by his mother’s disapproval, but as we’ve seen in episode 21 Eda is more susceptible to her aunt’s guilt and disapproval. Remember when she asked Eda if she could trust Serkan’s positive assessment of her work because he might lie if he has feelings for her!?! GRRRRRRRRR. 

The other big difference is that once Aydan saw how absolutely heartbroken Serkan was, she completely changed her tune and became supportive of the relationship. Her son’s happiness mattered to her. While Ayfer sat there last week and watched her heartbroken niece and reacted with glee.  Eda’s happiness is apparently not important to Ayfer.  

If indeed the Bolat’s have come to woo Eda, it will be interesting to see how Ayfer reacts.  Will she come around on her own or will Eda have to give her an ultimatum. I wouldn’t mind that, actually.  Give Ayfer a reality check on the way she’s been behaving, just as controlling as her mother. 

Anonymous said:bHey Liza! Thanks for your thoughts on ep25, was looking forward to them today cause you're always rational and I pretty much agree with all you've said lol. The number of ppl mad at Eda/saying her character is ruined is wild, did they watch the same episode?? Eda HAD to end things because of the shit her grandma was pulling, like it wasn't small things she has serious connections, obviously Eda isn't gonna endanger serkan!! I really hope the people being irrational read your answers lol. The only thing that's bothering me about the episodes is that this is supposed to be a romantic comedy and I'm missing that (gotta be honest I fast forwarded thru the Alex ayfer aydan stuff lol) but hoping for some funny Edser stuff at least lol. Also THE PRINCE REALLY DO BE CRAZY lmao

This was also sent before some of the recent schedules. It looks to me like we’re are in for a bit of romance the next few episodes. 

I’M SO EXCITED!!

Anonymous said: the prince is very specifically credited as a guest actor, so i think that maybe he'll only be here for 1 or 2 more episodes max. which makes me think that this arc at least with him directly involved won't last very long. i'm excited about the bombshell to be dropped though because as of right now neither eda or serkan know exactly what babaanne's plan for him is in regards to eda.. and not to mention his other creepy motives that have to do with his dead wife.

I haven’t seen him mentioned in any BTS stuff for 27... maybe he makes his exit is 26? We shall see. 

Anonymous said:  while i understand where serkan was coming from in his decision to not tell eda the truth, it was coming from a purely selfish reason (even he says that) eda's decision is bc of a very real 3rd party threat that would have consequences for serkan's family, business, and his wellbeing. and eda has no time to prepare a plan or anything of the sort; she's basically backed into a corner. i really wonder why serkan is granted so much more understanding in the fandom than eda's character..

I don’t agree that Serkan was coming from a “purely selfish place.”  I don’t remember Serkan saying that and if he did, I’m sure it’s because he’s attributing all his motives to the one he’s most ashamed of feeling.  Because while there was something selfish in not wanting her to know the truth and not wanting her to think of her dead parents when she looked at him, I think it’s clear he was also trying to protect her from those thoughts. He was trying to protect her from the heartbreak of dredging up their deaths, protecting her from having to make the decision to leave him. It was a lot more complicated then just him being “purely selfish.” Remember he inflicted the greatest heartbreak on himself, you don’t do that for purely selfish reasons. 

It would be nice if anytime something went wrong, there wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction to vilify one or the other characters. 

[karoiseka]

#15 Ache

((Dialogue in the first part is snagged directly for the most part from the game, but the rest tis mine own.  Pretty much just a re-hash of emotions and extra tid-bits of lore of what Karo was doing with all of this.  This got a little more away from me that I thought, but I’m happy with it. ^_^  Obviously, MAJOR 5.3 spoilers!!!))

“I concede, I may have over-exerted myself,” G’raha gasped a little from the Tower’s floor where he had fallen after defeating Elidibus.  Karo’s heart was racing--not only from the battle she had just finished, the adrenaline singing in her veins, but from the final goodbye of her--well, whatever Elidibus was to her now.  Now, the one that held her heart was transforming before her very eyes into a part of the very Tower that was so instrumental to them both.

“Steady now, and listen.  I told you before that I had a plan, and that when all was said and done, I would ask a favor of you.”  The Bard maneuvered herself beside him, sitting him up and holding his now both crystal hands in her own that desperately were clutching the spirit vessel.  “We have averted the Eight Umbral Calamity.  Found a way for everyone to return to the Source, and… last but not least, we have secured the future of all the people of Norvrandt.  We have won, my love.”  He was squeezing her hands gently, eyes shining, even when gasping for breath as she could watch the crystal creeping over his body slowly.  He reached up to run his fingers gently down her cheek, cupping her face and leaning against her forehead.

“So I hope you’ll forgive me this moment of selfishness.  And… while I wouldn’t want you to feel obliged…” Karo snorted and cut him off with a kiss before letting him continue.  He smiled against her lips and continued on, “Promise me you’ll take me on your next adventure.  A journey.  Together.  That’s all I ask.”  Karo’s voice caught in her throat as tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

“Raha--” her voice cracked as she took a deep breath.  “Of course--you know that’s all I’ve wanted as well,”  nuzzling his ears he sighed contentedly as she continued to try and hold back all the emotion she was feeling.

“If I were to tell you that this isn’t the end--that we will meet again--would you believe me?”  His voice was soft, but insistent and confident that he spoke true despite what was in front of their eyes.

“I have to--” whispered almost too soft for him to hear, she nevertheless looked him in the eyes and nodded her agreement.

“Thank you.”  He nodded once as well and released his hold of his shining star to pull his hood up one last time--though thankfully not hiding his face away from her.  She scowled at the look, but stepped back to let him get to his feet, somehow knowing this was something he needed to do for himself.  His spirit vessel, the brilliant red portion already glowing clutched in her hand, she watched and listened as he found a spot to stand.  He knew this was it as the crystal crept up even further along him--robe and all.

“My love.  With you, my mind and memories shall travel to the ends of the world and beyond.  But in this place shall my body stand immovable.  May it serve as an undying promise, not only to those who looked to me for leadership, but to any soul who has known despair, that hope is everlasting.”   G’raha Tia planted his staff firmly, Xande’s throne towering behind him.  One last time, Karo threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, cupping the back of his head as they shared what they knew was one last moment here on the First.  Stepping back finally she took a deep breath and held out the spirit vessel.  It was time.  As she looked down it started to glow, burning from the inside with an intense light and Aether she could practically feel.  Sapphire eyes raced up to meet his ruby--now glossy as the husk smiled blankly as the crystal finally overtook him.

Her own feet planted barely two fulms from his own, she curled her entire upper body around the warm spirit vessel, holding it to her heart.  It pulsed warmly against her as she took gulping breaths, trying to come to terms at least enough to step away.  Not much longer, she could hear the frantic footfalls of her found family and shouts of her and G’raha’s names echoing from the doorway to the tower.  The scions skidded to a stop behind her as they saw the Crystal Exarch--now the truest description of his name with the Warrior of Light and Darkness still at vigil in front of him.  Thancred was the first of the Scions to let go of his shock, and went to Karoiseka, wrapping himself around her from behind.  He could finally see the spirit vessel glowing in her grasp from his vantage and a deep sigh of relief escaped his lips.

“We’ve got you kitten--and you’ve got him.”  Karo finally spun around and let her tears fall as she let Thancred hold her up as she sobbed into his jacket.  Her heart ached, but she had to keep hope--that hope that he gave her that she cradled so carefully.

-------------------------------------------------------K

The bright stars of Amh Araeng beat down on Karo’s head.  She had finished visiting with Alisaie and Haldric, and had hurried down to Nabaath Areng before Thancred and Ryne got there.  She wanted to allow them their own time, but also had wanted to share the site of her last conversation with Mifillia with G’raha.  Scouting from above  she didn’t see the pair so she landed her borrowed Amaro in the shade of the flood.  Alisaie had a good idea of giving Raha a last tour of the First--maybe take him to a place or two he hadn’t been before.  He had always expressed interest in seeing the frozen wall of the flood up close, the sparkling wall looking almost like ice above the desert.

“Haldric is getting better,” Karo narrated to the crystal in her hand as she walked the platform where she had said goodbye.  “The empty is not quite as empty, and people are feeling the joy of the night’s sky.  Your hope is contagious even out here, m’love.”  Kneeling at the center of the circle she said a prayer--for those they had lost and for those they could yet save.  A smile danced across her lips as the wind whipped around her in a warm embrace, skittering off across the dunes.  Time to take to the sky once more and head to Eulmore where Alphinaud was certain to be getting a teary goodbye.  

-------------------------------------------------------K

Having said her own goodbyes to the Chai family and promised to see Alphy back in the Crystarium, she looked out onto the water from the cliff high above the city.  It wasn’t far from the place she had found G’raha napping before storming Mt. Gulg and talked about the adventure that she was now starting with him.

“It’s a shame you came here really only to berate Vauthry.  The city isn’t too bad now that they’re working on turning things around,”  The sky was clear and Karo realized she was scanning the horizon for Ardbert’s home island.  She could feel him laugh at her, knowing that it was well out of eye site range, yet tinged with a feeling of affection for thinking of him nonetheless.  Turning, pretending to be miffed at her Warrior soul, she continued to chat with Raha.  “You talked about riding the Eternal Wind here on this very cliff, and soon we shall fly across them back home.  Then the true adventure will start,” her blue-black hair was being whipped by the wind making her crystal hair tassels chime as she clung to that hope as her soul pulsed in an embrace lending her strength to carry on.  Beneath the waves she knew she had to dive before going to find Uriangier in the home of the pixies.

-------------------------------------------------------K

Waves crashing high above her head was the only sound in the depths besides her own footsteps echoing in Amaurot’s halls.  Occasionally she’d see one of his shades gliding on to one purpose or another, but she let the star-lit trees and arches light a random path as she wove the streets aimlessly.

“You didn’t get to see much of the city, did you?” rhetorical as the question was, she knew that Emet--Hades--had kept his prize locked up away from where she could have stumbled across him before she turned into the Lightwarden he thought she would.  It had been a near thing looking back, nearer than she liked admitting.  Phantom hand on her shoulder, she could feel Ardbert’s solidarity with her.  I told you I cast my lot with yours.  We’re a team, hero- the whispered voice in her soul made her smile as she held Raha’s vessel to her heart once more.  “We saved you though, Raha, and you saved me in return.  I’ll paint a picture as vivid as can be when I spin this song for you, the one I have yet to write to remember than they once lived.  We all have to remember....” and hope continued to blossom in her heart.

-------------------------------------------------------K

Flowers waltzed around the wide meadows of Il Mheg and Karo walked up the pathway to the castle.  She had the sense to know whatever it was her Elezan friend had to say, that she probably wasn’t going to be in the mood for sight-seeing after.  Instead she decided to visit her Branch and let her say goodbye to G’raha as well.  The gigantic glowing wings of the castle sparkled in the sun and the stained glass windows glowed from within even in the middle of the day.  The city below was so clear under the water it was hard to remember that it wasn’t occupied by more than fish and Fuath.  

“Thank you for introducing me to Fe Ul,” a smile broke out thinking of how innocent that first meeting was in the markets of the Crystarium.  “As much as I kept forgetting to call on them, they always had a knack of getting me out of some of the worst trouble here,” Karo’s thoughts went back to the watchtower and the suggestion to learn more of the Crystal Exarch from the people he led. “Gonna have to try and keep this quick before Uri wonders where we are.”  With a theatrical spin and hope in her voice she shouted out to her Branch calling on them once more.

-------------------------------------------------------K

She had been right to do their goodbyes in Il Mheg before talking to Uriangier and Seto.  In a daze of overwhelmed emotions she had wandered into Slitherbough, and like the magic she wielded, Y’shtola renewed her energy with her antics with Runar..  Wishing the Hrothgar good luck, Karo wandered to the swamps edge before diving in again.  The ruins at the bottom of the lake were a good distraction for her historian, and she slowly pointed them out and their meanings one by one of the old Ronkan Empire.  Excitement rejuvenated, she then took him to the Raval and took in the murals of Amaurot, Hydaelyn and Zodiark once more.

“Wish you could have heard all our shock when he dropped that piece of information on us,” her sarcastic laugh echoed through the caverns.  “I think you saw enough of it when we relayed it back to you though, we couldn’t get back to the Tower fast enough.”  With one last contemplative look at the murals, she gave a nod, hope filling her voice again.

“Alright, enough of that, back to Ahm Araeng, we need to find Thancred and Ryne.  It’s time to go home.”

-------------------------------------------------------K

The Crystarium markets were abuzz as Karo picked up the trinket she had ordered from the jeweler.  She could tell the people of the city knew something was going on with all the Scions back in town, and word about what had happened with their Exarch.  There was just enough time for her to head back to her Pendants room and imbue it with the spell she had planned.  The spell required her to sing, and so she pulled out her harp and sat down at the edge of the window and after activating the first part of the spell with a tendril of aether, started to sing.  The song was one of hope, of the man from another world who had turned this new one into his home, caring for its people and leading them towards a better tomorrow.  Singing with all her heart and soul the sun slowly drew across the sky as she continued with every song of hope and inspiration she could remember.  Out of repertoire finally, she closed the second part of the spell and picked up the glowing pendant shaped like her harp.  She packed up her bags, shouldering them and headed back to the Tower.  Sneaking around the gathering, she headed up the stairs to the platform where she left her voice enveloping the crystalline form of the one who held her heart.  Hope surrounded them both as the ache in her heart finally melted away, and she headed down to bring them all home at last.

[bobasheebaby]

Grabby Hands & Frosted Dresses [Wacky Drabble #33]

Pairing: Liam x Ellie (MC)

Word count: 1,626 (whoops)

Warnings: cursing, bratty kids and the names they are called

Summary: Ellie teaches Bradshaw and Isabella about respect.

A/N: This is a rewrite of the scene in the courtyard with Bradshaw and Isabella and their little brats. I have used a lot of the dialogue and added my own flair. I’m borrowing Ellie from my Falling For You series, she is Olivia’s bestie and takes zero shit from ANYONE. (She bounced around in foster care for eight years before aging out.) This does not fit into the FFY timeline, but she’s the best MC for this shit show.

A/N: this is my submission for @emceesynonymroll Wacky Drabble challange 33- I think it’s time I teach you about respect! Prompt will be bolded.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, I’m just borrowing them from PB.

“Wait, her dress is better than mine.” Lyra said balling up her little fists. “I’m the princess of Auvernal!” She stomped her foot. “I should have the best everything! Gimme!” She lunged forward, her sticky frosting covered hands fisting Kyah’s dress.

Kyah scrunched up her face as she let out a loud wail. Ellie pulled Kyah closer to her chest as she instinctively reached out, slapping the girl’s hand from her daughter.

Lyra’s face twisted as she burst into petulant tears. “Moooom!” She screeched turning towards her mother. “Why are they being so mean to me? I’m Auvernal’s only princess!” She sniffled looking up at her mother expectantly. “I should get what I want!”

“Now, now, darling.” Isabella said patting her daughter’s head. “I’m sure Kyah will share everything she has.” She looked pointedly at Ellie. “She’s only a baby, after all.”

Lyra sniffed wiping her tears on her arm, looking at Ellie with a sneer.

“Why, you could probably take anything from her and she wouldn’t even notice as long as you give her something shiny to play with.” Isabella said with a smug smirk. Cordonia owes us everything after all.

Kyah cried turning her head into Ellie’s chest.

“Shhhhh, baby girl.” Ellie said rubbing her daughter’s back. “You’re not sharing a damn thing!”

Kyah hiccuped as she rubbed her face into her mother’s chest.

“These people are stupid!” Issac shouted his foot coming down hard on the paved stone. “I don’t even want to marry this dumb baby.”

You won’t be marrying her, you spoiled little shit! Ellie thought as she cradled Kyah close to her chest, gently swaying her body to soothe and comfort her crying child.

Liam stepped forward, his broad chest blocking the twins from Kyah.

Isabella laughed awkwardly. “Our children just have so much spirit.” She smiled sweetly. “You can’t really blame them, can you?”

Liam straightened his back, his body appearing impossibly tall as he towered over the twins, his face stern as he glared at Isabella and Bradshaw. “Believe me, I can.”

“Oh, come now, King Liam.” Bradshaw said, his eyes narrowing in warning. “They’re only children.”

“Don’t worry, I place a large share of the blame on the parents too.”

“Kids will be kids.” Isabella said sugary sweet, her body tense. “They just need to get to know each other before the official betrothal in a few months.”

Liam placed a protective arm around Ellie and Kyah. “I hope things go better … whenever they eventually see each other again.” He said coolly.

“About that.” Isabella said, her smug grin widening. “We’ve reconsidered. After everything tonight … clearly we need to be closer at hand.”

Oh hell no! Ellie glanced over at Liam who wore the same surprised look. “You already went through all the trouble of packing …”

“Of course,” Bradshaw smiled widely. “We wouldn’t want to impose on your hospitality any longer … we’ve purchased an estate here.”

“Isn’t that wonderful? Now we never have to leave!”

This is not happening! “I’m so happy you’ve fallen so in love with our country that you would consider moving here. I just worry that with all your constant attention here that your own country may begin to suffer and possibly be invaded, I mean your honor guard is currently in Cordonia and not Auvernal, is it not?” Ellie said her words dripping with disdain.

Bradshaw tensed. “What exactly are you suggesting?”

“I’m suggesting that you and your royal brats are no longer welcome in Cordonia.”

Bradshaw’s face hardened. “You need to start showing us some respect, we can be enemies as easily as we can be allies.”

Liam blocked Bradshaw as he took a step towards Ellie.

“I’ve got this Li.” Ellie said as she shifted Kyah to her left hip. “Respect? You want respect? I think it’s time I teach you about respect!

Ever since you showed up to our palace unannounced and uninvited while we were on our honeymoon and demanded our presence you have shown nothing but disrespect.

To have the audacity to show up to another country with demands is bad enough but then you tried to strong arm us into an alliance we didn’t want.”

Ellie turned towards Isabella. “Your little ‘girl's trip’ was no better. From the moment Hana, Olivia and I stepped foot in your country all you did was try to embarrass us.

First you tried to guilt me into buying a gown. Then you decide I must lead an inspirational speech for your honor guard, you tried to set me up to fail but I. Don’t. Fail.

The little stunt in the steam room though. That was really going too far, but I endured as I always do. I didn’t flinch, even as you tried to burn me.

I wish that I could stop there, that your list of transgressions didn’t continue. Hell, I wish I could say you were good people who cared about their country and that you were just a little over the top with the way you approached people, but you aren’t.

You have spent more damn time in Cordonia than in your own country and it shows! Your children clearly don’t know you and don’t have respect for you or anyone else. They are nothing more than misbehaving spoiled brats!”

“You wait here —”

“NO! I’m not done yet King Bradshaw!

You keep waltzing into my country like you own it and you don’t!”

“You aren’t even from Cordonia.”

“I said I wasn’t finished Isabella!

Though I don’t know why I expected more from a woman who came to my baby shower and thought it was appropriate for her to lay her hands on my stomach without asking. Newsflash, it’s isn't!

I possibly could have overlooked all of that if you hadn’t brought your entire honor guard to The Last Apple Ball as a threat.

I don’t take threats lightly, Cordonia doesn’t take threats lightly.

But what really pisses me the hell off is the way you two despicable humans behaved when the Queen and heir’s lives were at risk.

Had you helped us out of the goodness of your heart we would have been thankful. We possibly would have even spoken about an alliance without a betrothal.

Of course you couldn’t possibly do anything out of the goodness of your heart because that would imply that you actually have one!

Instead of helping you took advantage of my husband. You used his fear of losing me and our daughter to get you what you wanted. Well I am telling you right here and right now; Kyah isn’t marrying either of your demon spawn!

So you can go ahead and take your packed bags, honor guard, and your snotty little bastards and return to Auvernal!”

“You obviously don’t know who you are speaking to! Isabella was correct in saying you are too hormonal.”

“Excuse me?” Ellie said stepping closer to Bradshaw. “Do you want to try to say that again?

And by the way Bradshaw, I do know exactly who I am speaking to. You are nothing more than a tiny little man with an over inflated ego!”

“How dare —”

“Oh I know all about you, and how you haven’t ever stepped foot on a battlefield and that every ‘honor’ you’ve achieved has been won from behind a desk.” Ellie smirked as Isabella’s face paled. “I also happen to know that the only reason you want this goddamn alliance is because you’ve misappropriated your funds and you have nothing. Auvernal is broke, all you have is a few shiny medals, an army you couldn’t begin to actually lead, and the bravado to appear scary and threatening.

I’m not scared, I’m not threatened.”

“You’re making a mistake.”

“No Bradshaw, you are the one who made a mistake!

You thought you could come in here and bulldoze us like every other country you’ve ‘allied’ with. You underestimated my country, my husband and me.”

“We could end your country in a second.”

“I’d surely like to see you try. You seem to be forgetting a few things.

First, Cordonia has friends. We have allies who actually respect us. We have more than enough friends that we would be able to take out your little country with no problem if you tried to invade us.

Second, I don’t sit behind a desk. I’m from the goddamn streets, I had to fight for myself. Hell I fought assassins on the day of my wedding in my wedding gown, and in heels.

I fought back to back with my husband with our friends by our side. We took out those who underestimated us before, what makes you think we couldn’t do the same with you? Because from where I’m standing you are sorely lacking in resources, allies, and skill, all of which Cordonia has in spades!

If you want respect you have to earn it! And all you’ve earned from me today is a reality check.

So get the hell out of my country, teach those hellions some goddamn manners, and stay the hell away from my family, because I’m telling you right now if either of your little uncivilized, ungrateful, spoiled hoodlums touches my daughter again I will show you just how scary I can be!

One more thing, if you even think about invading my country I will call up every single one of our true allies and end you!” Ellie turned towards Liam ignoring the sputtering and gaping royalty behind them. “Let’s go back inside because we are done here.”

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“All the time, the feeling is mutual.” She lightly bounced Kyah on her hip. “Come on baby girl, let’s go talk to people we actually like.”

Feedback fuels me, please like, comment or reblog to let me know how much you like it. I can handle the screams, so scream away.

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[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Can't Stop It

"Take one."

***

Dean clutched onto the tree branch, it seemed to be the only thing holding him up, as his entire world came crashing down around him.

Cas lay, more than halfway to dead, not more than ten feet away.

"Don't leave me alone here, Cas," Dean cried out, startling himself too with how desperate he sounded. He wanted to get to Cas, but he didn't know if his legs would take him. "Don't do this to me. You can't -"

Cas made no sound. A dreadful silence, escape for the dull, distant roar of monsters fighting amongst themselves, as never stops in Purgatory.

"I can't -" Dean began, instead. "Please, Cas, I can't leave you here, and I couldn't carry you like this. Hell, I can't even walk. I can't do anything -" His voice started to break. "All i know is that I need you to get out of here with me."

He just wished Cas would move, would prove that he was still here. He refused to believe Cas couldn't hear him. He tried to drag himself ahead, but it wouldn't work. He couldn't remember the last time he broke one of his legs. This felt worse.

"Hang in there, Cas. I cannot fail you again." Dean let out, strangled, not willing to stop talking as long as there was the slightest chance that Cas could hear him. "Not like last time here. Not like back on Earth. You mean too much to me, okay? We're getting out of here, and we're going to fight God and win, and - goddammit, Cas, can you give me a sign that I'm not talking to your goddamn corpse?"

And it's his own words which set him off.

He feels tears clouding his vision. "No. No, no, that can't happen. Please don't die, Cas. I need you. I - I'm begging you." The tears start to fall. He's never been so helpless before.

He can't do anything.

"I think I said I don't care, but I don't think I've ever cared more about anyone who wasn't blood. I tried to stop it, I swear I did, but I can't stop. I just can't stop -" Dean wrestled out of himself, his bloodstained cheeks clearing as his tears trail down his face.

They should cool him down, but it only gets worse. His face is burning up. His insides are burning up. His leg is killing him, and if he can't move, why the fuck is he still standing?

"I love you." Dean fell to his knees.

Everything hurt. There was no way out. He didn't - no, he didn't want Sam to deal with all the crap out there alone, but he just couldn't do it anymore. Not if Cas died, here in another realm, even as Dean crawled his pathetic ass back through the rift. Not if Cas didn't come back. Not if -

"Dean?"

***

"Okay, ugh." Chuck takes off his writing glasses, and starts to wipe them with his overshirt. "That's exactly the kind of bullshit which happens when you let your characters write themselves." He rolls his eyes.

And starts to backspace. "As if the three magic words could bring back Cas. The Empty doesn't work that way, Dean. These idiots do just about anything if you don't pay attention."

"Rule one of being God," He mutters, to no one in particular, stretching back in his desk chair thrice before flexing his fingers. "Slash, the only rule of being a writer."

"Remember it's you who's doing the writing." He declares, after a climatic pause.

Chuck rereads what he's typed out, squinting.

(It is a little bit like propheting, to be fair to his alias. At least the first drafts are.)

It takes him a godly moment to realize it sucks.

Way too much use of 'don't', and 'can't'. Way too out of character. The 'I Love You' is unnecessary. And the buildup is so pathetic, he should just delete the whole thing.

So then he does.

He pauses at the 'I Need You to get out of here with me'. Not bad. He can work with this.

Also, the 'Tried to stop it, but I can't' line is something that just stays with you. It's so emotional. He's a genius.

And of course, he's always been fond of 'falling to the knees' moments.

What about the rest? Well, everything else gets deleted.

Chuck decrees that there's no room for confessions in a purgatory death scene. This has to be gory, and not make-your-heart-gooey.

Like, sheesh, he's created some saps. He puts them into a violent setting, and it ends up with Dean admitting he loves Cas.

What kind of a ridiculous story is that? That's why first drafts are only good as fodder to the author's creative side.

They're good, only as long as the author is willing to delete it entirely, and not build upon it.

You see, one can't get too attached to their work.

Flexing his fingers once more for good measure, Chuck starts typing again.

"Take two."

***

Dean looked around in a frenzy, trying to spot the angel, or any part of him. He leaned his weight against a tree trunk, because if he didn't, he'd simply fall to the ground. He'd taken two bullets in his right leg, and had lost a lot of blood already.

***

Should he add more description of the nature of the wound? Probably, yeah. That's what the previous draft obviously missed.

***

He hadn't seen it coming, at all. Probably because, least of all, he hadn't expected human weapons here, in the land of scythes and clubs!

Dean still held onto his own knife - grateful that he could still wield one, even though he can't move.

"Cas!" Dean yelled, just about beginning to assume the worst. "CAS! We need to go back, Cas - the rift is wearing thin, and I need you to get out of here with me!"

***

It's utterly foolish to suggest that Cas is lying in front of Dean, and Dean can't get to him - shot twice, or not. Solution? Remove Cas from the scene.

Let him be dead in a ditch, and not ten feet away. Easy, peasy. That way, Dean can be reined in better, too.

***

"The portal's dying, you hear me? Cas, we can't make the same mistake again! We need to get out. Dammit, I need you to give me a sign you're alive -" His voice trembled.

The fear of the worst prevailed over hope.

"Where are you, Cas?" He shouted, and his throat threatened to give up. In a softer voice, he let out. "You can't be dead. It's - not you, too. Everyone - everyone's dying, Cas, you can't just -"

He drew in a painful breath.

"I'm supposed to stop this, I'm supposed to save my family, but nothing works, and everyone ends up getting hurt! I tried to stop it, but I can't - I just can't."

***

Huh. That nicely platonizes it.

Now it's no longer about unstoppable love. It's about unstoppable deaths of his adopted family. Better.

***

His words seem to drag him down with them, as he falls to the ground. His knees hit the ground first, and pain floods through his senses, almost numbing his brain.

All he can think of is how he's failed, time and again, at saving his family - and how it just happened again. About how Cas is gone.

Forever.

***

"Way, way better," Chuck whistled, pushing himself out of the chair, and starting to walk around. He reexamines his second draft in his mind.

No spontaneous declarations of love, check.

No hopeful cliffhanger, check.

Feelings of guilt, associated with Dean's role as the guardian, Check.

Fear of God?

Dammit.

He's going to have to write it again. And keep the family angst, the crushing feelings of guilt, and add in an element of villainy.

By the way, you're allowed to borrow elements from your second draft. It's just better if you don't. Don't be lazy, it's your writing.

If you don't put your heart into writing, why on earth do you even need one? Chuck resolves to make this one everything he wants it to be.

He selects the entire text, and blinks to have it obliterated.

"Take three."

***

Dean had looked everywhere, as much as he could, in his state of injury. His wounds made it difficult to think clear, but he knew who he was looking for.

Cas had to be somewhere around here. Why couldn't Dean find him? But he refused to give up hope yet, and kept on yelling the angel's name, weary hopes of a response running thin.

"We need to get out of here, Cas!" He shouted, holding onto a branch to stay upright. He doubted if he'd be able to get up if he fell. "The rift - it's closing, Cas. Where the hell are you? How do I know if you're alive? I need a sign, Cas - anything!"

Dean tried to move, but he stumbles and is grateful that he's still holding onto the branch. He resolves to not try to walk anymore. "Don't die on my watch, Cas - I swear, you can't die here!"

***

Guilting the other person back is a nice touch, isn't it?

***

Dean's chest constricted with the words, instead of feeling lighter. But he's finally letting it out, and he can't stop now.

"I can't do anything right! Can't save you, can't save my family, and I can't even save the world!"

He felt tears trickle down his face.

"He's going to win, Cas! He's God, and I'm just - I'm just the guy who once saved the world with his brother, and that too 'cause God must've willed it!"

"I'm trying to not think about how we've been lied to, our entire lives! I'm trying to stop feeling like we're puppets, like he's still controlling everything we say and do and think - I tried to stop it, I just can't -" He cried out, before his voice cracked, and he lets out a frustrated groan.

He can't go on - he just doesn't have the words. He doesn't have the strength.

So he falls to the ground, knuckles - white from clutching onto the branch suddenly relieved of their duty, and lying limp as he folds on the ground, unconscious.

It's the blood loss, and the pain, and the tears, and the loss - and it's all too much, and his body just gives in. He just gives up.

Dean can't do this anymore. He can't fight God. In fact, he never could.

And he's finally stopped believing in the farfetched myth that he ever could.

***

"Yahtzee." Chuck bit his lips, clicking on save, and pushing his chair away from his desk.

Now that's what you call a perfect scene.

It has everything. Whump beginning, gradual plot progression, poetic storytelling, heartbreaking dialogue, and a conclusion. A meaningful conclusion.

He's done a good job today. He managed to cut down a scene from love confession to familial guilt to helpless surrender - and he did it spectacularly.

With a satisfied sigh, Chuck walks off to the kitchen, to get himself some coffee, as he sits and ponders what happens next.

After all, he's going to have to start thinking, now, of what happens to his other favorite lead.